#and more importantly 4) is giving common people hope

[akirathedramaqueen]

CBT and Exposure Therapy: Blitzø Showcase

An important (really, don't skip) disclaimer

If you are contemplating whether or not you would benefit from any kind of therapy, consider consulting with your medical provider first. While I did my best to validate all the points made using publicly available resources, I am not a medical professional. At the very least, I strongly advise that you do your own research and not take some amateur's opinion about a character from a silly demon show for granted.

"Everyone in this show needs fucking therapy STAT!"

We hear fans screaming into the void every now and then. Me too. I plead guilty and I willingly put myself in custody. But I am not taking these words back.

Especially often it is being said with Blitzø in mind, who, as hinted earlier and clearly shown in the latest episode, Ghostfuckers, is not doing okay. Not in the slightest.

Which is . . . yes. Indeed, trauma-ridden Blitzø is a major problem for both him and those around him. Yes, we see him reaching his lowest point now exactly because he left these gaping wounds untreated for so long.

But the tricky question is—how, though? What to do? Will a good talking to a confidante help? Or, maybe, some kind of shock would snap him out of the spiral?

I've been pondering on this topic for more than 4 months, and, as the Ghostfuckers came out, I finally got all the data I need to prove a point. The show did all the job for me and effectively made Blitzø go through improvised versions of two popular therapy techniques. And, before I even start, I want to say—I am so glad with what we ended up with. What they did, and, more importantly, didn't do, aligns well with how it would likely happen in real life.

So buckle up, and let's see where it gets us!

Therapy # 1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT

This is, in essence and with some corrections, your good old talking. Here you can find more information about it, so, if you're not familiar with the topic, I recommend following the link first.

But, very shortly: CBT is an extremely common approach to be tried while you're dealing with anxiety, depression, and a number of other mental disorders. What it aims to do is to help you get past unhelpful thinking (distortions) and learn not to act on it.

Looks like it fits the bill, right? Blitzø has a lot of issues with self-fulfilling prophecies, infuriatingly stupid assumptions, poorly thought-out actions . . .

But he's not like, you know . . . w-we're not, like . . . we're not doing a . . . w-we . . . what's betw— It's a transactional fucking, you see.

If you don't feel like coming, that's OK! I'm sure I can do without it for one month. :)

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his matress! It's nothing, ya know . . . it's nothing else.

You . . . no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me . . . You are— you are free of me.

He sees things which aren't truly there.

It's not Stolas giving him space after the disaster in the 'Ozzie's.' It must be Stolas not needing him anymore, getting tired of him.

It's not Stolas caring about Blitzø. He is a royal, why would he care how an imp's day he happened to be fucking was?

It's not Stolas setting Blitzø free and putting an end to a problematic transaction they had with the hope for it to grow into something more. It's him getting rid of Blitzø.

As a result, he ends up hurting himself and the relationship he had with that one sad gay bird he happened to fall deeply for but literally trashed in his own house twice, acting on nothing more than frenetic fear of losing Stolas, but in reality, driving him away even more . . . for good.

I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!

Ha! I'm right, aren't I? You get off getting plowed by people you look down on!

And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! 'Cause I don't owe you dick! Everyone, but you . . .

So, the case's closed? Let someone—say, Millie—talk to him and tell him how wrong he was about himself and the others?

Well, here's the thing. Despite him being infinitely wrong about Stolas's intentions, we can't deny the fact that every one of his beliefs was not, in fact, a distortion. It'd led him to wrong conclusions, yes, but it was built on the information he received and legitimate experiences he had in his life. Here are only some of the facts connected to only this situation with Stolas, but there are other problematic behaviors and other reasons for him acting the way he does.

Fact # 1. The circus fire did happen, and Blitzø was the reason for it. Unintentional, and of course it wasn't his fault, but it still ruined the lives of many people—him included. Blitzø cannot act like it never occurred.

Fact # 2. Hell is divided by class and race. Their situationship with the grimoire was an embodiment of that inequality. A lot of Blitzø's outburst during the Full Moon and later in the Apology Tour was connected to it, to his beliefs that Stolas is the same as the rest of the privileged circle. Beliefs, I stress, justified by the real world. Stolas is more of an exception, and even then, his behavior is only different when it comes to Blitzø. He still acts the same toward other imps.

Fact # 3. We knew about Stolas's intentions all along, but before that fateful Full Moon, what Blitzø saw was Stolas avoiding him and not communicating the issue the Ozzie's date had raised. And before Ozzie's? Stolas did act entitled and inappropriate. He was baby-talking to Blitzø and used derogatory terms while addressing him. The dude literally called him an impish plaything in the Truth Seekers.

Fact # 4. Blitzø's heavily implied (though not officially confirmed by the show) existing conditions—ADHD*, BPD**, PTSD, and dyslexia/dyscalculia***—do affect his life, and while Hell seems to be somewhat receptive of neurodivergence, he still has to deal with it every single fucking day. He is going to be avoidant and afraid to be abandoned at the same time. He is going to hate himself. His learning disabilities are going to make his life harder. No way around it.

Note: *, **, and *** contain links to separate meta-analyses from @timkontheunsure and @tealvenetianmask about the respective conditions and how they show themselves in Blitzø's case.

And my beef with CBT here is exactly that. CBT's goal is to gaslight you into believing your distortions hold no water and suggests you just ignore them. And, as I've shown with Blitzø, these reactions and assumptions aren't baseless. They are legitimate, and, in fact, sometimes help to get by. Even though it's a crooked crutch, you can't learn to walk properly by just throwing that crutch away. You're still going to limp, and oh, will it be painful.

This is oversimplistic and dismissive. Anxiety and depression don't come out of the blue, and with mental disabilities, it's even deeper. The class/disability stigma is alive and strong, and just slapping a "you're fine" bandaid on your traumatized self isn't going to help.

Therapy # 2. Exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is another approach commonly used while dealing with traumatic past and its aftermath—PTSD, anxiety, phobias, and such. Again, if you're not familiar, there's the link for you, but very shortly—the therapist puts the patient in a safe environment and 'exposes' them to the feared object in question for limited periods of time. The goal is to eventually get rid of the targeted fear and decrease avoidance.

And Blitzø has got some phobias for sure.

The fear of letting everyone down. Again.

And the fear of abandonment. Again.

All of it is a result of self-hatred, sitting so deeply it rules his life and his vision of how others perceive him. Said it himself. Almost.

So, where and how does the show expose Blitzø to his traumatic past?

First, the most recent, and the most obvious one—Rolando and his slideshow of all traumatic events Blitzø ever had in his life.

Second—Blitzø's drug trip in the Truth Seekers. While it does not contain the events of the past as they were, it does force him to face his fears.

Are you worried I might have enough of it one day as well? . . . You're going to die alone! . . . You're going to die alone, Blitzo!

With some stretch, the third one is Verosika's 'Blitzo sucks' party. Where Blitzø was forced to see the consequences of his avoidance and rejection.

Note: to be clear, I do think the party does not show the true extent of Blitzø's actions and how much he'd hurt people. It was exaggerated by Verosika, and here I explain why this is the case.

So, what gives? Or, rather, what gives it not?

It might sound funny now, considering I brought it up myself, but I, once again, say this is not therapeutic, just as CBT kind of 'talking.' If anything, all these three events did more harm than good.

The D.H.O.R.K.S.'s goal in the Truth Seekers was to torture the information out of Blitzø. He was not supposed to overcome it. He was supposed to crack.

The Verosika's goal was to ruin Blitzø's reputation. She was working her ass off to prove he's just a heartless freak.

The Rolando's goal was to fucking kill Blitzø.

And okay, their motivations had nothing to do with helping him, but maybe it did, in its own twisted way?

No. The writers added this to push Blitzø past the breaking point, not to heal him, and to show us more of his lore. Each time he was forced to face his past or fears or consequences, he was only spiraling more.

The only thing which did him some good was . . . well, Millie finally seeing his bravado mask falling off. But the cost of it was way too high. Not worth it.

To the therapy's defense, some points why it would never work in the way it was done in the show:

Blitzø had never given his consent and was not ready to face it. I might be very rude right now, but go and try producing some explosion-like sounds in front of war veterans without letting them know first and see what happens.

The amount of fearful experience exposed was way too overboard. He couldn't possibly digest it in a healthy way.

The environment was not safe. It was straight-up retraumatizing, an intentional one.

So there's that.

But what helped then?

We've briefly brushed over the fact Millie did talk to Blitzø. While I did imply this might be an example of CBT, here are some key deviations from the classic therapy which made all the difference.

Millie didn't sugarcoat all the shit Blitzø did. He was hurting their business. He didn't pay her. He was reduced to Bethanie. It showed her opinion can be trusted.

Millie apologized for not being there for him sooner. She admitted she relied too much on Blitzø being bulletproof, unbothered by everything. She admitted she didn't support him in a way he always did.

While proving she could never hate Blitzø, she used their common story, one he knows and can recall. She used evidence to prove him wrong, not a "it's all in your head" bandaid. And more than that, later she proved it with action—not for one second did she believe Rolando and his shittalk about what Blitzø supposedly was thinking about her. Her unwavering faith spoke more than any words ever could.

Getting back to exposure therapy . . . Metaphorically, she reminded Blitzø he can handle a beating or two. And physically beat the infestor demon out of him, which, as we can see later, didn't really affect Blitzø that much. He wasn't even battered. So, apparently, when the said exposure is done by someone who genuinely tries to make you feel better and knows your limits well, it might just work?

And finally, Millie acknowledged Blitzø's pain. She didn't brush it away. She validated him.

What all of this is about?

Like every treatment, too much of a medicine can become poisonous. So are CBT and exposure therapy.

They might help, and lots of research shows they do in certain cases. But there are limitations to what they can and cannot achieve, and they have to be adjusted to each individual story, to each trauma, and they should not be applied as a way to mend the outcome of the trauma without taking into account the story it comes with. Again, legitimate concerns and experiences cannot be brushed away or ignored.

Actualy . . . we've seen where it leads in the show too. In the beginning, Millie was quite dismissive of Blitzø's worries—all of this over a . . . breakup?

And here it comes full circle.

Only when Millie started taking Blitzø seriously, did it help them progress. And look how quickly we've switched from a complete despair to a glimmer of hope! Isn't that a beautiful closing scene?

As a closing note—we do not need to 'fix' Blitzø. After all this shit he went through, there won't be a day where he wakes up and be like, "Hey, I don't hate myself anymore! And look, I'm not afraid to be abandoned or misunderstood!"

I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is a lifelong battle. Being mentally whole, healthy, and constantly happy is no more than a myth, and everyone has their own demons and skeletons to deal with.

What Blitzø needs is some good support system to pull him back when he's down.

And boy, do I hope that one particular owl will fill in that role of unyielding pillar for Blitzø each time our lizard will fall into that pit again. Look, I love Millie, but there's only so much she can do. She can't be always present, she has her own life . . . and her own disaster of a husband to look after (affectionate <3). Here and here @lost-romantique talks about Stolas's capacity of loving, with me occasionally nodding, ha-ha. But to be short—it's fucking immense. And since he loves words, I do believe he has all the energy to tell again and again and again how awesome Blitzø is. Even if Blitzø wouldn't believe it himself.

[quitealotofsodapop]

[I wait with bated subscribe button.]

ask and ye shall receive. chapter three is being outlined (things be heating up, but chap. 4 is when things get spicy)

[Even though he knows the Monkey King isn't really his birth parent (glaring at Nuwa), he knew that the choice to raise MK fell on his heavy shoulders. Even if MK is a *little* upset when he finds out via S4 Memory Scroll-ing with Macaque that he's a monkey demon..] + [the memory of Wukong standing outside in the city streets, affixing a strong glamour spell to the baby's head, and sobbing as he forces himself to stop holding them long enough to disappear and make a noise that alerts the pig chef inside the shop.] + [The first thing MK does when he reunites with Wukong, is hug him tight and say "I never blamed you." Wukong is confused until the realisation that MK was in his memories kicks in, and he starts sobbing too.]

cursed scrolling is not a very nice way to figure out that you're some weird monkey thing-y made for some cryptic person by a deadbeat goddess, but it could be worse.

watching the moment Wukong actually sets him down for good is honestly heartbreaking. he's visibly fighting with himself to put the infant down and put the glamor on as he cries, and even after alerting the shopkeep of the little one on the doorstep he isn't able to keep himself from looking back hesitating and looking back as he tries to subtly flee the scene. the scene breifly shifts to show that Wukong circled back in the following days "just to make sure he chose the right home" as they scroll divers heard him telling himself, as well as "this is the last check-in, just to be sure". he said that every time.

Macaque can tell just by looking at Wukong that his instincts are screaming at him for leaving the infant, hence the constant checking to make sure the infant was safe. to see Wukong in such a disheveled state due to his instincts and hormones, possibly to the extent he was neglecting himself in favor of making sure MK was okay, is worrisome, especially knowing that he didn't have anyone to snap him out of it or help. the whole time the memory is unfolding MK wants nothing more than to go give his mentor a big hug.

he ends up giving him that hug, and thankfully too. while hopping back through some of his own deepest regrets Wukong had begun to feel even worse than he already did about a lot of things, leaving MK included. he felt really guilty, so to have MK practically tackle him into a hug and tell him it's okay? he starts ugly crying in an instant.

[He just wished he had more time to know this odd, horse-like dragon that Wukong adored as a brother.]

Wukong speaks very highly of him, and DBK is honestly glad that it seems his Xiandi had someone to care for him. from what he'd seen of the dragon, he seemed very respectable and nice to be around, the kind of person he'd want looking out for Wukong. Wukong's always been bad at letting people go/grieving, so DBK understands entirely that Wukong needs time and that this isn't easy on him.

[This is THEIR happy ending, and Mac's not gonna let Azure take that away from them.]

THIS!

I love the idea of them choosing to reconnect, to work through things, figure out how they've changed and how they fit together now, and most importantly, choosing to come out stronger. choosing to ensure that no one and nothing comes between them like that ever again (let alone the same three assholes a second time).

[Fun fact; since Stone Eggs are able to "steal" the Dao of others, it ws common in Stone Monkey days for widowed monkeys to start the egg-making process while buried next to their mate in hopes that both of their traits lived on in the baby.]

do- do you think Wukong would ever visit Macaque's grave? not bury himself ofc, but lay there next to him? do you think he'd tell his beloved's grave about how the pregnancy was going, telling him all the things he'd wanted to tell him about his egg had things not gone so awry? do you think if Yuebie ever "kicked" he'd switch to telling her about Macaque, but in a way that made it seem like he was meditating a conversation/introducing the two? do you think Wukong told the grave that he wanted her to look like him? do you think going there ultimately did help make her look like him?

[and Jiuweihuli is treating the situation as if she's expecting a grandchild. Even when Wukong explains that Mac only "started the process", that doesn't deter the demonesses.]

she def uses grandma rights to spoil Yuebei rotten once she's born, and even before she's born considering some of the baby shower gifts she gets for the expecting monkey. she becomes a pretty substantial rock for Wukong once he gets past the whiplash of her doing anything more than tolerating him. Macaque also def goes to her for parenting/relationship advice, when he was down in the dumps about his fight with Wukong just before ep 1 of s4 he def went to her asking about "how to fix things so Wukong doesn't leave him and take the kid".

[Yuebei, aka "The God Killer" toddles into a fancy heavenly party and all the Celestials scatter like they saw a tiger enter the room. The infant monkey just jumps on the banquet table and starts chowing down on the hors d'oeuvres like her baba before her.]

those close to Wukong laugh at the familiarity of the whole scene. Wukong doesn't know whether to be proud or worried at the prospect of Yuebei growing up to be like he was in his youth.

[Yuebei and her big bro MK share the trait of "I believe, so it is",]

she got it from him.

[DBK has to be reprimanded for almost getting into a fight with Nezha over their protective instincts towards Wukong in this state.]

DBK remembers how adamant Wukong was the celestial realm doesn't learn of his unborn egg, so he sees the third lotus prince and assumes he's there for nefarious reasons. Ne Zha just wants to make sure Wukong will live through labor.

[Yuebei def stares at the tapes Guanyin provides in silence, tears rolling down her face as she sees and hears her Baba in different eras, telling his baby that they may never meet but that he loves them no matter what!! Especially if one of the things she yelled at Wukong was along the lines of; "You never do anything for me!"]

Guanyin sits there next to her, kinda side hugging her while rubbing circles into her back as Yuebei takes in everything before her. she has questions, some of which Guanyin answers, others they tell her she should ask her baba about, Yuebei pretty much makes a break for home as soon as Guanyin's done talking. Wukong was kinda teary eyed when she got back, but he tried to hide it.

[One of the rarer nicknames he had for her was "little moonlight" whenever he was particularly wistful.]

oooo Imagine Wukong puts her down for bed for bed one night and Macaque overhears him telling her "goodnight my little moonlight", how would he react??

[The subsetquent hours is Macaque fellign like sh*t for making Wukong hate him again + Yuebei crying when Mac raised his voice. He's convinced that he F-d Up Big, and that Wukong would never trust him again- oh hey a text from Mei.]

oh god, Yuebei bursting into tears is def what cuts the argument short with Wukong unwilling to continue the fight with Yuebei so upset and Macaque stunned into silence over waking her up with his yelling. the horror, guilt, shame he must have felt realizing that he did that, he scared her. not make harmad or fussy, he scared her so bad she started wailing.

he thinks it's going to put his progress with her all the way back to square one, but the situation ultimately doesn't allow that. he feels a tad bit guilty almost at how he's relieved she still trust him enough to call for him, when as soon as they enter the celestial realm to dethrone azure he hears her chirping for both Wukong and him.

as mentioned above, I think that after the fight he'd go see Jiuweihuli for advice on how to un-f up the situation, that he likely looked more like him busting through her office of the theater's door a crying mess as he sobs about "ruining everything" before she manages to calm him down enough to get a read on the situation and give him some actually reassurance/advice.

[Macaque still goes to Water Curtain Cave to see whats up... only to find no Monkey Kids, and the smell of a familar lion...]

as soon as Macaque recognizes the horridly familiar scent as Azure's he loses his mind at the implication of whats going on. Macaque was aware the brotherhood wanted Wukong... more permanently out of the picture back in the journey days, so he was also likely aware of their plot invovling the scroll of memory, and didn't mei's text say something about a scroll... ? and she said Yuebei was being "babysat"... right?...

if what he thinks is happening, is happening, it better not be, because if it is he's going to skin the damn lion.

[Wukong: *secretly watching from the doorway, falling in love with his Warrior all over again*]

something about getting to see Macaque being the parent he often told Wukong he wanted to someday be just makes the old king's weary heart melt with some form of love and joy so overwhelming it makes just wanna melt into the moment.

[Yellowtusk is the only one of the Brotherhood trio who recognises that people have changed in the last few hundred years.] + [Yellowtusk recognises that perhaps even he has changed. Being made to relive your mistakes throught the Scroll can do that.] + [Yellowtusk is Wise because he recognises that the best option is to jump this sinking ship now while there's still time.]

he is aware he has already done too much to be forgiven for by his other sworn brothers, but if not for them he'll do this for himself. he doesn't deserve to have the other two nitwits drag him down too. and if not for himself then his morals, this is not what he joined the brotherhood to fight for, and he'll stick to his principles on that even when it puts him against his two remaining brothers.

referencing this Slow Boiled au post.

[watching the moment Wukong actually sets him down for good is honestly heartbreaking. he's visibly fighting with himself to put the infant down and put the glamor on as he cries, and even after alerting the shopkeep of the little one on the doorstep he isn't able to keep himself from looking back hesitating and looking back as he tries to subtly flee the scene. the scene breifly shifts to show that Wukong circled back in the following days "just to make sure he chose the right home" as they scroll divers heard him telling himself, as well as "this is the last check-in, just to be sure". he said that every time.]

oh gosh. THIS

the whole scene is silent save for the sounds of rain, baby MK crying, and Wukong softly shushing him with monkey noises and "I know, I know." Placing the baby down on the storefront and visibly hesistating to make the sound that alerts Pigsy inside.

And Wukong is a mess at this point. Like even more so than when MK met him in "A Hero is Born". He's visibly exhausted and unkempt, looking like he's barely holding it together. Macaque can tell in an instant that his Peaches was in a critical mental and physical at the time.

As MK and Mac see this scene end (shadow monkey trying not to cry too), it cuts to multiple times throughout MK's childhood (ala Leela in Futurama) where Wukong watched over him. Either as a bird, a butterfly, a ladybug, anything that wasn't too strenuous on the de-powered monkey. And MK can just *see* how much his "birth mother" still loved him after all.

[he ends up giving him that hug, and thankfully too. while hopping back through some of his own deepest regrets Wukong had begun to feel even worse than he already did about a lot of things, leaving MK included. he felt really guilty, so to have MK practically tackle him into a hug and tell him it's okay? he starts ugly crying in an instant.]

MK is ugly-crying too. Like full ghibli tears even before Wukong tiredly turns to greet them.

Wukong eventually tries to break the tension by commenting on Mac's own crying + the clingy subject monkeys he picked up. But Macaque just responds by softly enveloping them all in a big shadowy hug (and maybe whispering a few "im sorry"s for the fight earlier).

[Wukong speaks very highly of him, and DBK is honestly glad that it seems his Xiandi had someone to care for him. from what he'd seen of the dragon, he seemed very respectable and nice to be around, the kind of person he'd want looking out for Wukong. Wukong's always been bad at letting people go/grieving, so DBK understands entirely that Wukong needs time and that this isn't easy on him.]

DBK and Ao Lie would have gotten along like a house on fire. Both are princes with a lot on thier shoulders, protective brothers, and complete sweethearts at their core. When DBK is in the Scroll, he sees how Ao Lie cared for his Xiandi during the Journey and is glad that someone truly cared for Wukong during his most vulnerable state.

[I love the idea of them choosing to reconnect, to work through things, figure out how they've changed and how they fit together now, and most importantly, choosing to come out stronger. choosing to ensure that no one and nothing comes between them like that ever again (let alone the same three assholes a second time).]

YES. The choice to fall back in love and make it work!

To learn and relearn new things about eachother despite the troubles they've had in the past! To overcomes hurdles that would have broken them before. To both come out better together. And raise a super-cute baby too.

While it wasn't nessasary, the Brotherhood incident accidentally causes th ebond between Shadowpeach to become stronger since they're literally tackling their pasts head-on.

[do- do you think Wukong would ever visit Macaque's grave? not bury himself ofc, but lay there next to him? do you think he'd tell his beloved's grave about how the pregnancy was going, telling him all the things he'd wanted to tell him about his egg had things not gone so awry? do you think if Yuebie ever "kicked" he'd switch to telling her about Macaque, but in a way that made it seem like he was meditating a conversation/introducing the two? do you think Wukong told the grave that he wanted her to look like him? do you think going there ultimately did help make her look like him?]

Depends if Mac even had one, given that it looked like his body was dragged straight down (then again Wukong could have seen that as normal given how himself got physically kidnapped into Hell the first time).

And oooohhhh the idea that Wukong yearned so much for his former mate that he desperately wanted even a "hint" of him to live in his baby. Like even incidentally. ;_;

Mac sees a memory of Wukong lying down in the "Shame Temple" (I hc as where Mac and his last fight took place hence Shame), and talking to seemingly no one... until Mac notices how Wukong seems to be talking to him??

Memory!Wukong: "What do you think little moonlight? Will you love theatre as much as he did?" *a few seconds past, Wukong reacts to a kick* "Hah! I knew it! I bet he would have taken you to your first play before you could even walk. I just hope that you don't inherit my stage fright..."

And Macaque is just trying his best to blink away tears. "Little moonlight" is what him and Wukong often call Yuebei. He didn't know that Wukong had already dubbed the little cub that long before she was even born. And he's currently grappling the fact that Wukong loved him so so much even after the battle that took Mac's life.

[she def uses grandma rights to spoil Yuebei rotten once she's born, and even before she's born considering some of the baby shower gifts she gets for the expecting monkey. she becomes a pretty substantial rock for Wukong once he gets past the whiplash of her doing anything more than tolerating him.]

The old vixen has had enough experience with rowdy twins to know how Wukong is feeling, especially in the direct aftermath of Yuebei's birth. She's the first of the honorary grandparents (sans Pigsy) to take one look at a sleep-deprived monkey couple and go "Oh no. You too are getting some rest. Let me handle the kit for a few hours."

Wukong is still a little confused why she's so kind to him after all that happened during the Journey.

Wukong: "Didn't I like, almost kill you with my staff?" Jiuweihuli, brushing it off: "That was centuries ago, love. Times change."

The vixen and her twins are far quicker to forgive than some allies in the Monkey King's past. In Jiuweihuli's mind, Wukong had been an expecting mom/dad who was trying their best to protect their family. She has done worse to protect her skulk. She does make plenty of jokes about Wukong "copying" her during the Journey tho.

She's still very critical of Macaque during this time, despite him being her fave understudy. But she's the first to hug him and give advice regarding him and Wukong's fight just pre-S4. She recognises that her honorary-kit is trying their best to make things right, and wants to be there for him throughout it all.

[DBK remembers how adamant Wukong was the celestial realm doesn't learn of his unborn egg, so he sees the third lotus prince and assumes he's there for nefarious reasons. Ne Zha just wants to make sure Wukong will live through labor.]

Theres a flurry of chaos when PIF and DBK arrive on scene after the LBD battle, since they don't know that Ne Zha knows about the Stone Egg. And Ne Zha doesn't know that the two bros have reconciled in that time since their last fight. A very quick fight occurs until Wukong, in his laborous rage, yells "KNOCK IT OFF" - stopping the battle in it's tracks.

[Guanyin sits there next to her, kinda side hugging her while rubbing circles into her back as Yuebei takes in everything before her. she has questions, some of which Guanyin answers, others they tell her she should ask her baba about,]

Guanyin is such a good grandparent figure :3 Wukong is glad that they sorta force-adopted him all those centuries ago.

[oooo Imagine Wukong puts her down for bed for bed one night and Macaque overhears him telling her "goodnight my little moonlight", how would he react??]

Macaque hears Wukong whispering to Yuebei, calling her his "little moonlight", and Mac just starts happy-crying. "Little Moonlight"? As in mini version of Wukong's "Moonlight" nickname for Mac when they were together? Wukong gets ambushed with a happy purring shadow monkey the second he exits the bedroom.

[oh god, Yuebei bursting into tears is def what cuts the argument short with Wukong unwilling to continue the fight with Yuebei so upset and Macaque stunned into silence over waking her up with his yelling. the horror, guilt, shame he must have felt realizing that he did that, he scared her. not make harmad or fussy, he scared her so bad she started wailing.]

Oh this whole squence... the Fight just before Ep 1 of S4.

The whole thing was an arguement that they really should have talked out and come to a compromise on... but relationship progress is tricky. And when voices get raised, both just shut down the second Yuebei starts crying. Macaque ofc solely blames himself for scaring the baby, since it was his voice she reacted to.

Macaque leaves his and Wukong's shared space (likely the hut on FFM, just renovated to be baby-proof), and shadow slinks his way to the theatre where he collaspes into Jiuweihuli's arms, sobbing about how "he's ruined everything again".

Then the idea of Macaque storming the throne room to get Yuebei back, no matter if he's lost all progress with her, only to hear her beautiful happy chirp! upon seeing him!? Oh he's scooping his little girl up right into his arms and kissing her fluffy head all over whispering "im sorry" for scaring her so badly.

Also being inside the Scroll of Memory and seeing how much Wukong sacrificed to ensure Yuebei's birth and MK's safety, makes Mac appreciate them all even more.

[if what he thinks is happening, is happening, it better not be, because if it is he's going to skin the damn lion.]

If Yuebei hadn't gone baby Hercules-mode on the Brotherhood, you best be sure that Macaque really would have skinned Azure for indirectly kidnapping his and Wukong's baby (the MKrew kids basically panicked and gave him Yuebei to hold while they went into the Scroll).

[something about getting to see Macaque being the parent he often told Wukong he wanted to someday be just makes the old king's weary heart melt with some form of love and joy so overwhelming it makes just wanna melt into the moment.]

Lets just say, seeing Macaque treat Yuebei (and be extension MK) as his own cubs, is something that just makes Wukong's heart soar like it did millennia ago when they'd fantasized about having a massive family post-war.

And seeing Macaque still adoring their little moonlight, even after their arguement + the situation at hand, makes Wukong adore him even more.

[he is aware he has already done too much to be forgiven for by his other sworn brothers, but if not for them he'll do this for himself. he doesn't deserve to have the other two nitwits drag him down too. and if not for himself then his morals, this is not what he joined the brotherhood to fight for, and he'll stick to his principles on that even when it puts him against his two remaining brothers.]

Yellowtusk is a smart elephant. He's willing to call up his old patron Samantabhadra and the other bodhisattvas for an assist if it means his brothers are forced to their senses. Even in canon, he's the first to recognise that Azure's hold on the throne wasn't sustainable. Combined with Peng's goading, and the kidnapping of their former brother's child, Yellowtusk is shuting down this takeover early.

Thank you for loving this Au as much as I do! It's such a fun one to play around in!

[lilacwhimss]

CAREERS LEGACY CHALLENGE — A STORY BASED LEGACY

hello! this is my new legacy challenge based off of sims 4 careers!!! it started with me creating a new save and needing a place to organize my ideas, and it became this 10 generations legacy! this has a lot of room for storytelling and developing your own stories, but it also has gameplay focused rules! your sims all have some background detailing for you to comprehend why they want to follow that career! i hope you all enjoy this! if you give it a chance, post and tag me! i also have more generations being planned, but they’ll be extra gens ;)

GENERAL RULES + GUIDELINES:

all required rules have to be completed before moving to the next gen

rules that have a * are optional!

a few cheats are allowed, but try not to overuse them. only in gen. 1, you’ll be allowed to use freerealestate, bb.enablefreebuild, money cheats and university cheats. for the rest of the gens, you can use cas.fulleditmode for other sims, live edit/debug cheats for decorating your house and you can use UI cheats if your game broke to complete aspiration milestones

you must join the careers from each generation, and you also have to reach level 10 of them, even if it requires extra skills (i think this is kinda implied)

i tried my best to make this mod-free, but gen 3 has a modded aspiration. i did give an unmodded alternative, though!

mods and cc are super incentivized!!!

i split the rules into main rules and plot rules. the plot rules are fully optional, but it'll give you some background for your generations!

colors are also optional! i just enjoy playing with them.

PACKS REQUIRED:

EP: all of them (up to For Rent) but Eco Lifestyle and Get to Work.

GP: Spa day, Dine out, Realm of Magic, Outdoor Retreat

SP: Paranormal, Crystal creations, Tiny living, Nifty knitting, Backyard

— 🪻

let's get started!

gen 1: law (judge).

colors: orange & green

—

since you were a kid, you strived for the best. you lived with your mother and her spouse, no sight of your dad. growing up, you had a fiery personality, which lead you to make a single friend in your entire life. you always wanted to be the best at everything, and help people get justice. you discovered that doing yoga kept you in check. all was going well: you were going to the university you always wanted, opening the path to your dream along with your best friend, until they died. how will you navigate life now?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

overachiever, hot headed, generous

academic

MAIN RULES:

max research & debate skill

max wellness skill

max a third skill of your choice

always take one elective that has nothing in common with your major

you have to major in history

you must live in a student dorm in your first term.

PLOT RULES:

have only a single friend prior to joining uni (you can cheat this if you want to start the gen as a young adult)

that friend has to die (be creative!)

create a club with your roommates and go out every week*

marry someone that goes to the rival university

have at least one kid and a max. of 3 kids

have a close family dynamic with everyone initially

at some point during the heir’s teen years, modify the family relationship to difficult, but only with the heir. this is important for the next gen.

gen 2: restaurant owner.

colors: pink & purple

—

you definitely had a white picket life growing up, with dancing and cooking being your favorite family activities. your parents were amazing, kind and caring — until you said that you wouldn't attend university. your relationship with them strained, so as soon as you aged, you packed up and moved to Mt. Komorebi with the last savings you had. you had enough to buy/rent a place, but was that enough to get to your dream of opening a restaurant? how will you get money? and, most importantly: how will you deal with your parents?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

foodie, dance machine, loner.

master chef

MAIN RULES:

max cooking skill

max dancing skill

max skiing skill*

must move out as soon as your sim ages up to a young adult

work as a babysitter in your teen years to get money

gain at least 4 stars on your restaurant

PLOT RULES:

don't attend uni

when you move out, become a part time barista until you get enough money to buy a restaurant (i recommend building it beforehand to see how much you’ll need to get)

marry an adventurous sim

see your parents once a year

have only one kid and have the supportive family dynamic with them as they grow up.

gen 3: paranormal investigator

colors: black & white

—

you were a lonely kid growing up in the snowy mountains. no siblings, no friends, just you and snowboarding. you always felt like something was watching over you. your parents always supported you, even when you chose to move out and follow what your grandparents wished for. you rented out a place, and weird things started happening around. will you find out what's going on?

TRAITS:

genius, geek and unflirty.

renaissance sim (no mods)/ paranormal proficiency (mod)

MAIN RULES:

max medium skill

max snowboarding skill

must attend uni (you choose the major)

must live in a haunted house lo throughout your life

befriend bonehilda

no kid limit

PLOT RULES

join/create a ghost hunters club

marry someone who is also a freelance paranormal investigator

always own a cat and a dog

gain the coffee fanatic and the close knit lifestyle

successfully plead for someone's life at least once*

gen 4: conservationist (marine biologist)

colors: blue & yellow

—

your parents always told you supernatural stories, entertaining you with possibilities of hidden things all over this world, ranging from ghosts to werewolves. mermaids were always the ones that marveled you, and made you want to learn more. your parents never denied the existence of all of those things — but they never confirmed it either. you decide to settle that yourself, and there's only one way to approach it: by moving to sulani. you buy a small home by the beach, get a job and start researching. one day, you come across some weird type of kelp. what will you do with it?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

child of the ocean, ambitious, loves the outdoors

beach life

MAIN RULES:

max fishing skill

max herbalism skill*

max gardening skill

complete the fish collection (if you don't have all packs, it's fine. complete the collection with the packs you own)

also complete the seashell collection

become a mermaid

explore everything in sulani

live on a lot with the volcano activity challenge

PLOT RULES:

always participate in the island festivals

live on a tiny home in a beach lot (that has an ocean part)

marry a human

only have one kid and they must be human (cheat your way into not raising a mermaid)

gain the outdoorsy lifestyle

live on a lot with the simple living challenge*

gen 5: stylist (style influencer)

colors: white & brown (or clean girl-esque colors)

—

you grew up by the beach, always in contact with all sorts of people with different clothing styles that always made you want to learn more about them. you remember going on a trip with your grandparents to a bigger city once, and you were amazed by the hustle and bustle, the different people. you knew you wanted to live there, but you also didn't want to leave sulani behind. will you leave, or will you stay?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

loyal, high maintenance and dog lover

friend of the world

MAIN RULES:

max charisma skill

max fitness skill

max wellness skill*

join the stylist branch in the style influencer career

sell at least 5 outfits on trendi

PLOT RULES:

marry a non-committal sim

move to san sequoia, but visit sulani every weekend

have at least two kids with that sim

always own a dog

gain the close knit + frequent traveler lifestyle

divorce your spouse after the second kid

marry your best friend

gen 6: farmer + horse racer

colors: orange & teal

—

you knew your parent loved the city, but that life just wasn't for you. your dad didn't see you a lot — and you knew he never wanted to have you. inspired by your grandparents gardening lessons, you decide to live the city behind and move to the countryside. your parent is disappointed, wanting to be with you for everything in your life, but your step parent supports you a lot. initially, you only planned on living your life, raising plants and chickens. but you stumble upon a horse, and you bond with it. will you adopt it?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

animal enthusiast, self assured and neat

country caretaker

MAIN RULES:

max horse riding skill

max gardening skill

max all your horse’s skills

get at least to level 3 of knitting skill

move to Henford-on-Bagley

win the ultimate horse championship

PLOT RULES:

have at least three chickens, one cow, three bunnies, one mini goat and one mini sheep

complete at least one help needed quest from the townies every week

win at least once in every fair (crops, chickens, etc)

live on a lot with the simple living challenge

name all of your animals after food

gain the adrenaline seeker lifestyle

have max friendship with all of your animals*

marry another horse champion (rivals to lovers would be a good option)

have at least two kids

gen 7: acting

colors: black & red

—

you loved watching movies and soap operas in that old, grainy TV your parents had on their farm. you knew you wanted to participate in those, and you yearned for that type of attention. you auditioned a lot as a kid, but would always get rejected, until you eventually found out they ruled you out because you were a bumpkin. angry, you moved away from henford-on-bagley all the way to Del Sol Valley. you decided you needed a fresh start, away from your roots. but will you manage to completely avoid them?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

squeamish, ambitious, good

world famous celebrity

MAIN RULES:

max acting skill

max singing skill*

max media production skill

reach pristine reputation

become a global superstar

get ( at least) to the following perks: established name, star treatment, fan favorite and lifestyle brand

PLOT RULES:

gain the health food nut and the frequent traveler lifestyle

move to del sol valley as a teen and live there your entire life

marry another celebrity

have only one child

host charity events at least once a season

you can fall down to a neutral reputation if you decide to get your sim to come clean about their identity

gen 8: jeweler

colors: blue & purple

—

your parents were celebrities, so you were constantly put into the spotlight. you just wanted to read and daydream about crystals and jewels. you constantly had to run away from paparazzi, and you made it to the news by fighting them publicly. that got your parents very angry, and they sent you away to live with your grandparents in henford-on-bagley. you make a lot of animal friends there, and widely explore the world, searching for crystals and metals. one day, someone offers you a getaway from all of the human world: the magic realm. you accept it, but you must return to del sol valley and tell your parents. how will you do it?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

creative, perfectionist and outgoing

crystal crafter

MAIN RULES:

max gemology skill

max a second skill of your choice

become a spellcaster

reach rank 6 - virtuoso

learn all spells and potions

get at least 12 perks, and the insightful eye trait is required

complete the crystals and metals collections (if you don't have all packs, it's fine. complete the collection with the packs you own)

PLOT RULES:

befriend all sages

give all sims their respective jewelry pieces (ie: the mystical ring for morgyn ember, the mystical bracelet for the charm family and judith ward’s bling necklace)

craft every jewelry piece + all crystals (with only one type of crystal/metal each i’m not that cruel)

own at least one crystal tree

make at least one piece of jewelry with jet

marry a human OR perform the rite of dissolution after reaching rank 6

have more than one kid, but the heir must be human

gen 9: landlord

colors: yellow & green

—

you had weird books lying around your house, written in a language you couldn’t understand. your parents never cared to explain why, and you never really asked. you had no idea what you wanted to do in life — you just knew you wanted to be rich. after a quick research, you decided to be a landlord. yes, everyone hated landlords, but you just wanted money. when you told that to your parents, they gave you a harsh stare, but said nothing. your grandparents congratulated you, though. so, after a quick business class, you buy your first property. now you just have to… do everything. renew it. you realize it isn’t going to be that easy, and you’re too prideful to ask for money. will you give up, or will you start from the bottom?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

materialistic, self assured and ambitious

five star property owner

MAIN RULES:

max photography skill

max mischief skill

max a third skill of your choice

complete the tassels and the marbles collection

own at least one rental property your home world and one in another world

PLOT RULES:

live in brindleton bay

start from the bottom with your rental, but you have to get to a five star rating

marry one of your tenants

host a potluck every weekend and a pool party every summer

have a good relationship with all of your tenants but have a bad relationship with your parents

gain the people person and the energetic lifestyle

you must have twins and let the wheel decide which one will be the heir

hold a grudge against one of your parents

gen 10: veterinarian

colors: pink & white

—

you grew up by the water, surrounded by stray animals you always desperately wanted to have. your parents never allowed you to, leaving you to care for them in secret, spending your pocket money on food for them. you always nurtured this love and compassion for animals, wishing to help them all. you go into university, looking for a biology degree to follow your dream of becoming a vet. your parents don't really care about what you do, as long as you bring money to the table. so what will they say once you state that you'll be opening a vet clinic by yourself?

TRAITS & ASPIRATION:

generous, proper and socially awkward

friend of the animals

MAIN RULES:

max veterinarian skill

max pet training skill

buy and/or renew a vet clinic

get a 5 star clinic rating

always own at least one dog after becoming a young adult

you have to attend university and major in biology

complete the feathers collection

PLOT RULES:

marry one of your clients that has a cat

always feed the birds

have max friendship with at least 5 cats and 5 dogs

never choose mean interactions with pets

join/create a pet lover’s club with weekly meetings in your house

have at least two top tier employees

your vet clinic can be in any world, but you must live there

go camping at least twice in your life

[redrikki]

A Song of Ice & Fire Masterpost

The Return - Robb sends Theon home to Pyke. If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention. (Asha Greyjoy, Balon Greyjoy)

The Headsman - When the order came, Ned sent two men to seize and bind Theon Greyjoy and another to prepare the block. The gods would know Balon Greyjoy for a kinslayer, but it would be Ned Stark swinging the sword so what did that make him? (Ned Stark, Catelyn Stark, Theon Greyjoy)

Hey, Brother - “My sons will be your new brothers,” Lord Stark promised Theon, but it was a bit more complicated than that. (Theon Greyjoy, Ned Stark, Robb Stark, Jon Snow)

Every Captain a King - Young Theon Greyjoy is made a hostage of Dragonstone. When Davos Seaworth finds him crying behind the water casks, he can’t resist playing the father. (Davos Seaworth, Theon Greyjoy)

Somewhere in the Dark -The night after witnessing his first execution, a nightmare drives Robb from his bed. Somewhere in the dark, he stumbles across Theon. (Theon Greyjoy, Robb Stark)

Empty Promises, Empty Threats - “Far be it from me to question to wisdom of your lady mother,“ Theon said, “but maybe sending the man who killed my brother to treat with my father is not the best idea.” Robb sends a different envoy to the Iron Islands. He and Theon live with the consequences. (Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy)

Grin and Bear It - Theon attends the tourney at Lannisport following his father’s war. King Robert rubs his hair for luck as he heads to the lists. Theon hopes he dies. He hopes they all do. (Theon Greyjoy, Ned Stark, Robert Baratheon)

Strange Children in Our Bed - It had been seven long months since Catelyn’s husband had been home and in her bed. Theon Greyjoy was the only thing spoiling their reunion. (Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Theon Greyjoy)

The Boy in the Garden - Alayne finds a strange boy crying along in the heart of the the Eyrie’s garden. There are no gods in the godswood. Just Ned. (Sansa Stark, Ned Stark)

The Heir - After the war and the loss of their sons, Balon demands she give him a new heir. Alannys is determined to thwart him at every turn. (Alannys Greyjoy/Balon Greyjoy, Asha Greyjoy)

The Knife - The wounds on Lady Catelyn’s hands turn sour, so Theon Greyjoy takes the assassin’s knife to King’s Landing instead. Theon’s main skill has always been complicating other people’s narratives. WIP (Theon Greyjoy, Ned Stark)

Second Verse - Theon Greyjoy leaps from Winterfell’s walls and ends up in his past. Can he save the Starks from themselves? More importantly, does he even want to? (Theon Greyjoy, Jory Cassel, Jeyne Poole, Mance Rayder, Bran Stark, Robb Stark)

Little Bit Louder, Little Bit Worse - In a world where the War of the Five Kings goes very differently, Asha Greyjoy sails north to retrieve her brother. Sequel to Second Verse where a time traveling Theon Greyjoy has made some changes, not all of them for the better. (Asha Greyjoy, Theon Greyjoy, Robb Stark)

Skinchangers: A Definitive History - Selected experts from the book Skinchangers: A Definitive History by Maester Germ, being the definitive work on the nature of the art and its role in the history of Westeros from the Dawn Age through the Age of Exploration.

Words Are Wind - Fills from the 3 Sentence Ficathon

1) Theon comes back wrong 2) Jeyne will never forget her name 3) Catelyn on Ned’s unfortunate habit of child acquisition 4) Theon vs. specimen jars 5) Jeyne can’t quite forgive 6) Jeyne and the power of naming

A Meta of Ice and Fire -

Chapter 1) Why Ned would have executed Theon Chapter 2) If canon Theon didn’t bully Jon, why is it so popular in fic? Chapter 3) Westerosi and Medieval European Hostages: A Comparison Chapter 4) Comparing Robb’s book & show love interests Chapter 5) Overthinking the Common Tongue of Westeros Chapter 6) Robb as the anti-Ned Chapter 7) Comparing Viking and Ironborn thralls Chapter 8) Making sense of the Greyjoy Rebellion

[suomeen]

Chapter 7: A Rough Awakening

After less than 3 months, Lina decided to go back home, to be reunited with her husband and family. We didn’t really understand it. She liked it here. She was learning and making plans. She was one of us. The timing seemed bad, her home region is close to the border and have been shelled mercilessly. But she made up her mind.

The mood instantly dropped and the feeling of uncertainty returned. Of course, we knew it was always a gamble. You win some and then you lose.

One morning, shortly before Lina left, I was woken us by a call from the reception center. They said they were gonna drop off a new inhabitant in an hour. We were confused. There were 4 of us in 2 rooms and one person registered but not living here, we had the impression they would not add anyone else, even though technically, there can be up to 7 people per apartment. But we did have a spacious living room. The new roommate happened to be a loud and annoying middle-aged woman. I try very hard to be judgy but fail frequently as all she does is watch Russian TV shows, loudly cracking sunflower seems and drinking Cola from a 2l bottle by the bed. Well, she also frequents the local charity places looking for free stuff. But it’s not even that. What really sets me off is her attitude. She doesn’t give a shit about following the basic rules. Doesn’t sort her garbage, doesn’t write herself in to the laundry and tries to get as much out of her situation as possible. It’s this stupid never-ending greed that I hate the most. She tries to get all the free food at the church and food bank, even though she can’t possibly eat it and it ends up rotting away. She has 3 bikes in the storage unit that’s supposed to be common, which she got for free somewhere and isn’t even using. She slowly fills all the possible space with her shit and it feels suffocating. We basically lost access to our sofa and balcony. But more importantly, we lost the quietness and the peace of mind. Silence is one of those things – you don’t realize how much you need it until there’s none. Whatever little privacy and personal space was left evaporated.

Lately, it's an everyday struggle to keep your sanity and composure. I try to be patient but some people make it very hard. Sadly, there are so many people like her here and even worse. People who see nothing but opportunity. People who for some fucking reason think they’re entitled to what they are getting and more.

Being a Ukrainian is complicated. The best of us are sacrificing themselves, dying saving innocent lives. The worst of us are fighting over free food and profiting off someone else’s misery.

And it’s not like I am not self-aware enough to not realize I also partly saw an opportunity in coming here. But I am very humbled and grateful and I hope I can give back to Finland in time. That’s why I feel like I have to try twice as hard to be a good citizen and a nice person, to at least somewhat offset the terrible impression that a lot of our people must have left. Time will tell.

[sunscreenstudies]

Iconic Things My Coding Professors Have Said (Part 10 - semester two edition)

"if you can do this coding problem, the quality of your life will increase and your test score will too"

"So, i am sorry for the confusion... I was also confused"

"A lot of people are complaining now that models don't react the way that people do. My response to that would be, who cares?"

"this was fun right? the exam will be even MORE fun"

Prof who doesn’t speak English natively: "who needs a break?"   Student who does speak English natively: "i wouldn't say no"   Prof having a mild mental breakdown: "... that’s too difficult a sentence. i don’t understand that, i can't parse that, what the hell is that?!"

"it was an interesting task because people are very bad at it, but machines are very good at it"

"Most colleagues are very confused with neural language models because computers aren't capable of common sense or reasoning, so quite frankly this stuff just... shouldn't be possible"

"it was a beautiful time where linguistics and computer scientists could work together in peace and harmony... but not anymore"

Prof who doesn’t speak English natively: "the goal in chess is to get your opponent mated... is that how you say it in english? mated? you want to mate your opponent?"    Student who does speak English natively: "only if you're his wingman"

"so, size matters, it seems to be the only thing that matters... for machine learning specifically and NOT for anything else, alright ladies?"

"any questions? thoughts? feedback? fears? hopes and dreams? life advice? i may be in my forties but i could still do with some life advice"

"What i'm teaching you about NLP will probably be useless in five years time... but until then, you still have to study it anyway"

Prof: "so we're examining modern british literature, but what does that actually mean? what is modern? what is literature? and most importantly, how would you describe the term “british”?"    Student: "overrated"

"last year i didn't give the students this part of the code and there was almost a revolution. so this year, under the threat of being disposed, here is the code you need to contine"

"the advantage of this, is that we're talking to engineers again"

"the guy asked the chat bot "how would you feel if i turned you off?" and the chatbot replied "it would feel like dying" so the guy felt bad for it and left google... hard to believe he was an engineer"

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14

[dlea203]

5 years - Hannix AU

A/N: Hello☺️! Seems like I'm getting a little better at updating at least a little more frequently, but don't hold me to a specific pace, please😅! Inspiration has been flowing these past few days and I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out. I hope you like it too😌. As always, comments/reblogs/likes/ideas are greatly appreciated and very welcome🥰!

ALSO: Thank you to all of you who have continuously interacted with this story🥰! You guys are the best!!!

Taglist: @carsgeek24 (as requested, my love😉💗) @sweetwhispersofchaos

Warnings: angst, fluff (I'm trying to put as much fluff into the chapters as possible to make up for the angst, I hope it's still bearable😬)

Previous chapter / Next chapter

Chapter Seven

September 16th, 4 years ago…

He wished he had a camera with him. To capture the magnificent sight currently presented to him. The gold and orange rays of sunshine were slowly crawling up the rocks, spreading their warmth as far as possible. From the rocks they jumped onto the walls of the houses in the village. You could feel them warming up the clay if you put your hands flat on the walls. And with that, as if the sunlight acted as its energizer, the village slowly came to life. 

The men and elder boys left the houses, farming equipment in hand. Yes, farming equipment. Although this region of Afghanistan was rather sandy and consisted mostly of never-ending deserts, the “high lands” around the rocks had quite some fertile soil. That’s why most of the villages were built there. There weren’t thousands of acres of fertile soil, but it was enough to supply the whole village. Sure, rain wasn’t too common around here, but the Afghan people, as Jake had come to learn over the past year, were pretty creative when it came to providing the village with sufficient supplies. 

The women said goodbye to them, sometimes even with small kisses on the forehead or cheeks. And, most importantly, never without the promise of being home for lunch. 

Jake sat on the steps in front of their house and faced the rising sun, his arms braced on top of his knees. He just watched, as practically every morning. But this morning was different. Not because something was out of order, but rather because today was a special date. And the reason why he wished he had a camera to capture this view. Today was Lynn’s birthday. Her first birthday.

And he wasn’t home.

If he had a camera, he could snap a pic and put it into a frame to gift his daughter. Although she would still be too small to comprehend the meaning behind his gift, he wished so desperately to be able to do it, nonetheless. Because this view was a metaphor for what he felt when Lynn came into this world. His whole damn world lit up when his princess made her grand entrance. Lynn, together with Nat of course, was his sun. His girls were the reason he kept fighting when his jet fell from the sky. He knew, should he give up, there would just be darkness on the other end of the tunnel. But his girls, back at home, they were the light. And just as beautiful as this sunrise here.

“Hey Jake!”

He didn’t even need to turn around to know who just called his name.

“What is it, Zahra?”

“Ma looks for you. Breakfast is ready.”

The sixteen-year-old girl plopped down onto the steps next to him, smiling brightly at him from the side. Jake smiled back, offering her a fist-bump. She bumped her fist against his, furrowing her brows.

“I still don’t understand why you do that. It’s… what’s the word again? It’s not silly, but…”

“Weird?”, he offered, smirking.

“Yes! Weird, that’s it.”

Jake laughed, shaking his head, and proudly listened to Zahra rattle off numerous reasons why the fist-bump-thing was weird and how many other not-weird-ways-to-greet-each-other there were. Why proudly? Back when the people of this village helped him out of his misery, at least to the best of their abilities, Jake felt this need to give something back for their help. At first, they refused, but then he had an idea. Jake offered to teach the kids, and later the grown-ups, basic English. Isaad presented his idea to the people of the village, explaining how beneficial it would be if the kids understood and spoke English. Especially if the American troops would find their way into the village. First, the men agreed to let Jake teach only the boys, because they were afraid that the Taliban would find out that the girls were taught too. But then Jake was able to convince them of letting him teach both girls and boys. And Zahra was an eager student. She practically soaked up the English language like a sponge. After only a few weeks, she was able to form grammatically correct sentences and speak freely about easy topics. Jake was sure he’d rarely been this proud before in his life. Now, after a year of practice, she was able to speak very freely about different topics and rarely made grammatical mistakes. Sometimes the words didn’t come to her right away, but the ones she knew she used correctly. And while he taught the kids English, they taught him their Afghan dialect. Although he wasn’t quite as fast as Zahra, she was a very patient teacher and spent hours on end going over the words and grammar with him. What he quickly did, was understand. He was able to follow dinner or lunch conversations between the family members and he understood what Isaad was translating when he spoke with someone of the village. Speaking was a different topic. But it came too, with time. The one thing he’d never forget was her reaction when he spoke his first Afghan sentence without a mistake. She’d jumped up from her spot at the kitchen table, squealing like she wanted the walls to burst and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Jake had felt a rush of pure happiness speed through his veins. A very emotional moment that he’d treasure for the rest of his life.

“Hello? Are you still there?”, Zahra interrupted his train of thoughts.

“Sorry. What did you say?”

Zahra narrowed her eyes, mused at him, before her gaze fell on his right fist that was tightly clasping something. She reached for his hand, gently untangled his fingers, and took a piece of paper out of his hand. A photo. Zahra smiled at him knowingly and a little sad, mirroring his expression.

“You miss her, yeah?”

“Every day, yes.”

Zahra carefully brushed her index finger over the photo.

“What was her name again? Something with an “N”, right?”

“Natasha”, Jake answered absentmindedly, staring at the orange ball that was the sun.

“Right… Natasha. Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

“She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met”, Jake agreed, smiling dreamily for a short second before the longing feeling took over again and squeezed his heart tightly inside his chest.

“You never talk about her. Why?”

Jake sighed, dropping his gaze onto the sandy road, mentally steeling himself for this conversation.

“Because it hurts when I talk about her. Or when I think too much about her. I miss her so much, and there’s no chance I get to see her anytime soon. So, I’m trying not to think about her too much or else I’ll go crazy.”

Zahra nodded, understanding. Her gaze rested on the picture of Natasha. Jake’s gaze joined her. It was a picture he’d taken last summer at the beach in San Diego. It’d been a pretty hot day and since Natasha had been 7 months pregnant at the time, they’d had no choice but to go out and spend a few hours at the beach. He’d taken many pictures over the course of the afternoon, but this one was without a doubt his favorite. She was sitting on her knees, her left profile facing him. Her right hand was hugging her baby belly, her left hand braced on her lower back. She was looking down at her belly with the biggest smile on her face. Her hair was up in a cute and kinda messy bun with a few stray locks that framed her face. The lighting made her look like a vision. That photo was one of those once-in-a-lifetime-shots, which was the reason why Jake used to keep it in the chest pocket of his flight suit. Now, he kept it within the tunic he wore. Where it was always safe and with him, just like his girls who were always in his heart. The other picture of them he kept with him in the jet must have burned in the flames…

“And the baby?”

Zahra was, as Jake had come to learn over the past year, a very curious girl and loved to cut straight to the point. He chuckled sadly.

“It’s a girl. She was born on this day last year. Her name is Lynn”, Jake answered, doing his very best to keep the tears at bay.

“You were there when she was born?”

“Yes. It was a long night”, he laughed, gently shaking his head at the memory.

“How long?”

“Almost 20 hours of labor… but Nat was an absolute champ. She did fantastic. We were both a little panicked at first when her water broke on the kitchen floor, but then we looked at each other and we knew – okay, we’re doing this now.”

Zahra chuckled, nodding her head, and focusing back on the picture.

“Then your daughter is one year old today?”

“Yeah, my princess is growing up fast. And I’m not even there to witness it…”

He averted his gaze, looking back at the rising sun. Zahra carefully placed her hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You will see her again one day. I’m sure.”

Jake looked at her, smiling thankfully. He didn’t need to say it out loud, Zahra’s eyes told him that she knew. They enjoyed the silence for another couple of seconds, when suddenly their names were called: “Zahra! Jake!”

Amira appeared behind them in the doorway, her hands braced on her hips. She scolded them for not coming inside for breakfast and threatened to put them on dish duty for the rest of the month if they didn’t hurry. Jake and Zahra shared a worried look before laughing heartily and hurrying inside to join the family at breakfast.

*-*

But even if he’d talked about it for a few minutes, the painful thought of home didn’t leave his head for the rest of the day. He was uncharacteristically unfocused, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Jake, what is going on with you?”, Isaad asked when he joined a few other men for a cup of tea in the late afternoon.

“What? Nothing.”

“Yes, of course. And I’m the American president”, Isaad retorted, earning a few laughs from the rest.

“Come on, what is wrong?”, Jahan pressed, gently shoving Jake, as if to give him the literal push over the edge.

Jake took a sip of his tea to buy himself some time. But he knew very well that he wouldn’t get out of the spotlight this easy. The expectant looks from his friends told him so as well. Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, he conceded.

“Today’s the first birthday of my daughter.”

While Isaad, Jahan and two other men sucked in a breath, a few others looked confused and waited for Isaad to translate. When he’d done so, they reacted about the same way. Jahan patted Jake’s shoulder this time, an apologetic smile on his face.

“I’m very sorry”, Isaad whispered.

“Yeah, it’s hard right now, but it’s gonna be fine. Hopefully I can go home soon to be there for her next birthday.”

“What’s her name?”, the man with the name Behnam asked.

“Lynn. L-y-n-n”, Jake spelled, “well, her full name is Lynn Helen Seresin.”

“Beautiful name”, Behnam’s neighbor, Hussain, commented, earning a few nods.

“Thank you. She’s a beautiful girl. One of the few things I did right in my life… besides making my wife marry me, obviously”, Jake laughed.

“What’s the name of your wife?”, Cirus asked, adding a spoon of sugar to his tea.

“Natasha Seresin since she became my wife, but her maiden name is Natasha Trace.”

“Natasha… very beautiful name also. She is a beautiful woman, I think?”, Cirus asked, chuckling.

“She is indeed.”

“Jake has a picture”, Jahan jumped in, motioning for Jake to show it to the others.

He carefully took it out of his tunic and showed it to the round. The men eyed it closely, Hussain even whistled through his teeth. Bahiri, the eldest of the village, took it out of Jake’s hand and held it into the light for a better view. 

“Very beautiful”, he nodded, handing it back to Jake with a smile.

“Thank you.”

Jake had never talked much about his home or his family. In the past year, he’d used most of his time to get to know the families here in the village and work his ass off so as they wouldn’t regret that they helped him. Besides teaching the kids English, he helped the men with basic repair work on the farming equipment or houses. Whatever was needed. On top of that, he helped with farming the fields as often as he could and lent Amira his hands within the household. There wasn’t much time to talk. And the people had been too busy adjusting to the fact that he was living with them now. They barely knew anything about him, and they rarely asked any questions. But of course, now that some time had passed and the topic had come up, they started to ask those questions. Beside talking about his familial life in San Diego, Jake offered a lot of stories from his time in the Navy. He told them how he’d met his wife, how they fell in love, what missions they’d been on together and which he’d done with his squadron. The men listened attentively, occasionally relying on Isaad and his translation skills. But Jake had gotten really good at explaining things in Afghan, so Isaad’s skills were becoming more irrelevant as time progressed. Slowly but surely, Jake was becoming a part of the village. But, although he was so grateful that they helped him and saw him as one of them, he couldn’t wait for the day where he got the chance to go home. Hopefully, that day would come soon…

*-*

Monday morning 6 a.m. came way too soon for Natasha’s liking. When her alarm went off, she huffed out an exasperated breath, hit the snooze button a little harder than usually and closed her eyes once more. A low chuckle greeted her at that, sending her heartbeat through the roof for a second.

“Still not a morning person”, Jake whispered, his devilish smile on full display.

“And I’ll never become one”, she retorted, scrunching up her nose without opening her eyes.

Jake laughed, before scooting closer to her, and wrapping his arm around her waist. He nuzzled his face into her neck and peppered her skin with little kisses, making her smile.

“How’d you survive the academy, flight school and all your deployments as a non-morning-person?”

“Guess I’m a surprise box”, she answered sleepily, pulling his arm tighter around her.

Jake chuckled again, pressing one last kiss to her cheek, before attacking her sides with his hands, tickling her. She immediately shrieked in shock.

“No, Jake! … Stop! … Stop!”

She tried to squirm away from him, but he kept her where she was, still tickling her.

“Jake, please!”

He had mercy on her but pulled her on top of him to kiss her properly. Straddling his hips, she sighed into the kiss, finally opening her eyes to look at him. He brushed a lock of hair behind her right ear, looking at her in wonder. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe that she’d agreed to marry him. And that she had taken him back, even though he’d been away for five years.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”, she asked, searching his eyes.

“I’m not looking at you like that.”

“Yes, you are”, she chuckled, “do I have something on my face?”

“Besides unmatched beauty?”

She rolled her eyes at his cheesiness, shaking her head.

“I’m trying to make earnest conversation here, Jake. So please don’t behave like a child. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I was just thinking… Over there in Afghanistan, I was wondering if the things I know about you are still true”, he answered hesitantly, tightening his grip on her hips.

Natasha furrowed her brows, cocking her head slightly to the side.

“Why that?”

He shrugged, averting his gaze, but she made him look at her again.

“A lot can change in five years. I thought… that maybe, well… I don’t know.”

“What did you think?”

“No, it’s dumb. Forget it.”

“Jake, what did you think?”

Her gaze was as insistent as her voice, letting him know that he wasn’t getting out of this this easily.

“I thought that… you discovered new things about yourself in the meantime, maybe with a different partner too… that the things you liked or disliked aren’t the same anymore as before Afghanistan.”

She sucked in a breath, spiking his insecurity even more.

“I said it’s dumb. Please forget I ever said that. I-I just… I’m sorry.”

He tried to push her off and climb out of bed to go bury himself somewhere in the backyard, but she didn’t move.

“Jake, I…”, she started, cupping his cheeks, and looking deep into his eyes, “I never had someone else.”

Now it was his turn to suck in a breath. He definitely hadn’t expected that answer. Not because he knew that she hadn’t been happy with him and would’ve jump at the first opportunity to find someone else, but because he knew what an amazing woman she was and how many men would gladly take his place if presented the opportunity. Although he’d always wished she would wait for him when he’d been in Afghanistan, he'd known that he couldn’t ask her to. He would never have. She more than deserved to be happy, and if he wasn’t able to make her happy for whatever reason, he couldn’t trap her in this marriage. He’d half expected to come here and find her with a new man at her side, maybe even already married. 

“You didn’t?!”

She furrowed her brows again before pulling them up.

“I’m sorry, what? Are you mad I didn’t?”

“No! No, of course not, I just – “

He stared at her, disbelieving and slightly dumbfounded, before grabbing her face and smashing his lips on hers. She gasped into his mouth but gladly accepted the kiss.

“You waited for me, baby? All those years?”, he asked in a whispering tone, still disbelievingly.

She smiled at him, tears welling up in her eyes at the hell that were the last five years.

“Oh Jake… I thought you were dead. They told me you died in a crash. I didn’t wait for you, I was grieving – mourning you, like a wife who loved her husband wholeheartedly, does.”

A tear made its way down her cheek, getting caught in the corner of her mouth that was stretched into a sad smile.

“So, tell me – who should have wanted me, hmm? Who should have wanted a grieving woman as their partner?”

He chuckled, gently brushing the wet path of her tear away from her cheek with his thumb.

“Well, let’s see… how about that one neighbor that used to look over his fence whenever you went jogging?”

“Vincent?”, Natasha laughed.

“Mhmm.”

She gently swatted his arm before shaking her head, still laughing.

“You know what? I actually expected him to shoot his shot when it was evident you wouldn’t return. But he never showed up, not even brought any flowers over. I’m not sure how I would’ve reacted if he came over though… probably not very friendly. I think I would’ve told him off. Or I would’ve held Lynn in his face, telling him that that little girl has just lost her father and he comes over to flirt with her mother… I don’t know, I surely wasn’t in a good place back then.”

Jake cupped her cheeks, pressing his forehead against hers.

“I’m sorry, darlin’. I’m sorry for making you go through that”, he whispered, taking a deep breath afterwards.

She shook her head, kissing him.

“No, don’t! Baby, you came back to me! You came back home; to Lynn and me. That is more than I ever could have asked for.”

Natasha brushed her thumb over his cheek, enjoying the feeling of his skin under hers.

“I love you, Jake Seresin. I always have and always will. But I will not let you out of my sight for the foreseeable future, my beloved husband”, she said, chuckling and pointing at him with her finger.

He chuckled too, kissing said pointer finger.

“Don’t worry, Misses Seresin. I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

*-*

Hand in hand, their daughter a few strides in front of them, they strolled up to the kindergarten building. More than a few curious looks from other parents followed them on their way to the front door. Jake’s grip tightened a tiny bit when they entered the foyer and followed Lynn to her place in the wardrobe space. But Natasha smiled at him and as fast as his worries arose, they disappeared again. Jake crouched down in front of Lynn, took her little backpack, and proudly watched her untie her shoes, all the while keeping up the conversation they started before. Natasha stood a little bit aside, watching them, when the kindergarten teacher, Ms. Janine Robinson, walked up to her.

“Misses Seresin, it’s good to see you again! It’s been a while. How are you?”

“I’m very good, thank you. How are you?”

“Good too. It’s gonna be a busy day, but I’m sure you know how it is.”

Ms. Robinson crossed her arms over her chest, setting eyes on Lynn and Jake for the first time. 

“Oh, I see a new face! May I ask who that is?”, she asked carefully, eyeing Jake up and down.

“That’s Jake Seresin; my husband and Lynn’s father.”

Ms. Robinson turned her head sharply, her eyes widening and her mouth just so staying shut.

“Your husband?! But I thought you told me… I mean… didn’t you say that he died?”

“That’s what I thought for the past five years. But apparently, I was wrong, and so was the Navy.”

“Are you sure?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at that, fixing Miss Robinson with a daring glare.

“I think I’m very well able to recognize my husband and the father of my daughter, but thank you for your concerns, Janine.”

The young teacher immediately averted her gaze for a second, looking down at her shoes in shame.

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate. It’s just, you know… I’ve seen a couple of movies and reports where someone returned after a long time, but it wasn’t the person that originally left and the families were fooled, because so much time has passed and stuff – “

“I know what you mean, but trust me, he’s the real Jake Seresin.”

Natasha snorted.

“I’ve spent the last five years memorizing every last detail I know about him. I can confirm, without a doubt, that that man is the man I married.”

Ms. Robinson nodded, watching Jake’s interaction with Lynn with great interest.

“And Lynn is taking it well?”

“Yes, why?”

“Oh, you know, I’ve talked to her about her father a few times over the last year… I was surprised how much she knew about him since she never met him consciously. But she told me a lot about him, and that she knows that he’s with the angels.”

Natasha nodded.

“When the Navy told me that he’d died, Lynn was just over two months old. I realized pretty soon that I had to make a decision… either I tell her the truth about her father and who he was from the start, or I lie to her and make up excuses until she’s old enough to know the truth.”

Ms. Robinson nodded understandingly, following Natasha’s explanation attentively.

“I went for the first route, obviously. I wanted her to know who her father was. I wanted her to know where she came from. That she’d been born into a home full of love, into arms who’d be there for her for the rest of her life. And that those weren’t just my arms… Jake loved her from the first moment that he knew of her, just like me. He was so on board, it was frightening”, she chuckled, shaking her head. 

”I sometimes even questioned if the same man that I married still lived with me.”

Janine laughed, not tearing her eyes away from how Lynn dragged her father straight into the main room of the kindergarten to show him where she liked to play.

“She was always supposed to know who he was and what he and I had. On some nights, when she wouldn’t go down without crying for an hour because he wasn’t there, I wondered whether I really made the right choice… whether I caused her more pain by telling her the truth… but then I looked at old pics of our time before Lynn and I saw where she got her green eyes and big smile from, and I just… I just couldn’t lie.”

“I get that”, Ms. Robinson answered, gently touching Natasha’s arm, “I’m glad that it’s going well. How long has he been back?”

“He came home Saturday noon. I had our friends over for one of our monthly gatherings. You can imagine the chaos that followed when he suddenly appeared at the door, looking as if he’d never been gone…”

“Oh, yeah, I can picture that!”, Ms. Robinson laughed, nodding her head.

Natasha chuckled, checking her watch when the bell went off. Ms. Robinson did so too, gasping in surprise.

“Oh, I swear, time is running faster these days! I have to get the kids gathered together… I’m very sorry to leave this conversation hanging in the air, Misses Seresin. Would you excuse me?”

“Sure. Have a good day.”

Natasha watched her run off to the entrance, welcoming the last kids that were brought by their parents. Then, she peaked her head around the corner into the main room, chuckling to herself at the scene presented to her. Lynn was proudly showing Jake all her drawings, going over them with him in an almost analytic way. Natasha walked up to them, weaving her fingers through Lynn’s light curls, that were tied into a ponytail.

“Hi baby. Are you showing daddy all your drawings?”

“Yes, mommy!”

“They’re beautiful, princess. You should make more, you’re talented. Maybe you become a famous painter one day”, Jake said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You think so?”

“Mhmm.”

“Woah, okay, there’s still a lot of time until then. For now, daddy and I have to say goodbye, sweetheart. We’re gonna pick you up in the afternoon, okay?”

“Can’t you stay?”

“No, and you know why. But you’re a big girl, you’ll be fine. Right?”

Natasha crouched down and adjusted Lynn’s hair tie, cupping her cheek.

“I love you, baby. Give me a kiss, yeah?”

Lynn kissed her on the lips, before throwing her arms around Natasha’s neck and squeezing her tightly.

“Love you too, mommy.”

Then, she turned to Jake and flew into his arms, giggling at him pressing a loud kiss on her cheek.

“I love you so much, princess. Be nice and behave, can you do that for me?”

“Yes, daddy. Love you.”

When Ms. Robinson walked in with the rest of the kids, that was their cue to leave. They walked to the door, looking back once more to watch Lynn take a seat on her chair in the circle, waving at them before engaging in a conversation with the girl sitting next to her.

“She’s such a big girl already”, Jake whispered in awe.

Natasha nodded, taking his hand in hers and looking at him for a second before looking back at Lynn.

“Our little princess.”

*-*

After they left the kindergarten, they drove straight into the city center, heading for the town hall. Although they’d only called this morning, they had managed to get a spontaneous appointment with the civil registrar in order to sort of “reorganize” Jake’s life from a legal point of view. He’d been considered dead for the past five years, not only from a familial and military point of view, but also legally. They needed to set Natasha’s civil status back to “married” and made sure that Jake was still correctly listed as Lynn’s biological and legal father. A lot of paperwork, but the civil registrar was a nice and funny guy, which made the hours fly by quickly.

*-*

“What would you say if I took you out for a lunch date?”, Jake asked, when they left the town hall hand in hand.

“A lunch date?”

“Precisely.”

“I’d say, I’m starving and if you don’t get me food within the next half hour, I will become your worst nightmare.”

Jake laughed, kissing her cheek.

“Lunch date it is.”

Although it’d been a while, he still remembered their favorite restaurant for lunch dates. Stealing glances at each other over the edge of their menus was still a thing, too. To celebrate their reunion, they enjoyed a glass of wine. They did some small talk here and there, nothing too deep. Well, at least until they finished their main courses. The waiter had just picked up their plates and promised to be back with the dessert menu, when Natasha cleared her throat, picking at a breadcrumb.

“I… I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything, but you know that I’ve not been blessed with the ability to be patient. And we won’t have much time to ourselves in the next few days or weeks. I took off work today, but tomorrow I have to go back, and you’ll surely have to report to base within this week to get things sorted out… we’ll have to call your parents, my parents, my brothers – they’ll probably all want to visit us as soon as possible! It’s gonna be a lot of stress–“

“Nat, what is it?”

She sighed, taking a deep breath. Hesitantly, she met his gaze, pursing her lips.

“When will you tell me what happened to you?”

His face fell and he moved slightly back, letting go of her hands on the table. His hands disappeared into his lap and his gaze switched over to the window. Natasha sat up straighter, desperation washing over her face.

“Jake, I – please, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to–“

“I already told you, Nat, I can’t just… I can’t just talk about that on a lunch date. It’s–“

“But you can tell me anything, Jake, I promise!”

“This has nothing to do with you! Nat…”

Jake sighed, squeezing his eyes shut, focusing on his breathing for a moment, before looking at her again.

“It’s not that I can’t tell you. But it’s… it’s so much, and so much of it is ugly and heavy. I don’t want to burden you with it. You’re working almost full-time, there’s Lynn, our friends, our families, the house… You have so much on your plate already, I can’t put this on your shoulders too just like that.”

“Jake, you don’t have to worry about me, I can handle it.”

Jake shook his head, pulled out his wallet and waved the waiter over. Out of politeness, Natasha kept quiet, but inside, she was raging. Her husband knew how much she hated it when he babied her, when he tried to play the macho.

They left the restaurant in a hurry, heading straight for their car in the parking lot. But there, Natasha crossed her arms over her chest, planting her feet and staring him down.

“You know perfectly well what I can handle. So don’t worry about that.”

“Yes, I do worry about that. And yes, I know what you can handle, but this is another caliber–“

“Do not treat me like a child, Jake Seresin! I’m your goddamn wife! We vowed to treat each other as equal partners in this marriage, so live up to that!”

“I’m not treating you like a child! I’m trying to protect you from knowing what I’ve been through, because I want you to be able to sleep at night!”, he shouted, standing mere inches from her and fixing her with a hard glare.

She gasped slightly at that. Seeing naked fear flickering in his eyes made her insides squirming. Jake tried getting his breathing back under control, turning away and rubbing his hands over his face. She stood frozen where she was, processing what just happened. Slowly, he turned back around and walked up to her, cupping her cheeks tenderly. There were tears in his eyes, making her heart drop into her stomach.

“You don’t want to know what I’ve seen, Nat. Trust me, you don’t. I’m just trying to protect you, I swear, that’s all I’m doing”, he whispered, barely keeping his tears at bay.

She grabbed his wrists, pressing her forehead against his.

“I want to help you. Please, Jake, let me help you. Let me help you carry this burden. Please”, she whispered, choking on a sob.

He sighed, deeper than she’d ever heard him sigh. Some of the tears in his eyes escaped, sliding down his cheeks.

“Nat–“

“Please!”

She pulled back slightly and looked deep into his eyes, carefully drying his cheeks with her thumbs. He stared at her, contemplating. He knew she wouldn’t give up and it would only cause more flashbacks for him whenever she brought it up. He knew too, that he needed to talk to someone about it. And who did he trust more than his wife?

“Please Jake. I know how much you suffer; I can see it in your eyes. They don’t hold the same light anymore as they used to. Let me help you, I beg you”, she sobbed.

Jake didn’t want that she cried because of him. She must’ve done enough of that over the past five years. He didn’t want to hurt her, and he knew that he would continue to do so as long as he refused to let her in on the past five years of his life.

“Okay.”

His voice was no more than a whisper. She sucked in a breath, her lips curling into a small smile.

“I will tell you, once the stress of the next few weeks is over. Once we’re settled in, once our families know about me and had the chance of visiting us. I promise you, by my sister’s honor, that I will tell you everything then. Can you live with that?”

She nodded, kissing him deeply.

“I love you, sweetheart”, Jake whispered against her lips.

“I love you, honey”, Natasha whispered back, falling into his arms.

[squidkidnerd]

Operation Atlantis Notes - “Brewing Up Friendship” (chapter 5)

chapter 5 chapter cHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 5—Woo, it’s finally out! There are some big leaps forward in this chapter, as Three and Eight are finally starting to bond! Yay! We’ve also got a short scene with Lila in the beginning, (dad) Iso Padre, and more! But, mostly Three and Eight bonding lol. Let’s talk about it! (rest under cut).

Compared to chapter 4, this chapter was relatively easy to write. Writing Three and Eight interacting together is always very fun and very enjoyable, especially now when there’s a language barrier and a lot of awkwardness between them. Neither of them really know how to interact with people normally, nevermind when there’s a language barrier in the way. Because of that, this chapter is full of a lot of really awkward yet really sweet moments that I just love. I had so much fun writing them, and I hope you enjoyed reading them! Anyways, on with the notes.

Opening poem: Okay, I gotta admit—I don’t like this one as much as chapter 4′s. Even after I changed the last two lines during my revision process, it still feels a bit too generic for my tastes. That’s okay, though. These poems aren’t meant to be much other than a nice opener. The second and third lines in my original version were more focused on Three in general and not Eight sensing the connections between, which is the whole theme of the chapter so yeah, I changed it. It’s a little on the nose, but hey, I like it.

Lila: Oh, would you look at that, it’s everyone’s favorite character (sarcastic)! Yeah, this scene is more of a tease for later than anything that has to do with this chapter itself lol. After she didn’t appear at all in chapter 4 I thought I should at least give her a short scene as a brief update if you will. This is probably how she’s going to appear in the story for a while, with a short scene or two here and there but not much of a major focus. She may be a perspective character, but she’s not necessarily a protagonist like Three and Eight. We also get the tiniest of hints at her backstory here... what could her last job have possibly been?

Eight: I LOVED writing Eight this chapter. She’s just so sweet and clueless and ADORABLE I love her so much ASFKLASDJFAKLSDF! After I struggled with her in chapter 4 and earlier, it was nice. The issue with her chapter 4 and earlier, actually, is that she didn’t really want anything. Now, though, she wants to be friends with Three—so she has a reason to act. And act she does. Thanks to her amnesia, Eight really isn’t sure how to interact with people yet, never mind befriend them. The only people she’s really talked to are Iso Padre, Madame Katrina, and Miyo. Only one of those characters is her own age, and all of them are overtly friendly. Three, as we know, is not overtly friendly. She also seems like she doesn’t even want friends. But, as Iso Padre says, those who choose to be solitary often need companionship the most. It might be a challenge to be friends with Three, but it’s a challenge Eight’s willing to accept—after all, they might have more in common than they might think.

Eight’s 100 percent heterosexual activities: Fun fact—my plan for Eight’s feelings towards Three was to have them start out more platonic and have them become romantic later on. Right now, Eight isn’t supposed to have an overt crush like Three is, it’s supposed to be a more “This person is so cool I really wanna be friends with them!” kinda feeling, if you know what I mean. However... uh, Eight, staring at your coworker through a doorway like that is uh, a little gay. Just a little. A tiny bit. I’m okay with it though because gayness is the direction we’re heading and also the platonic/romantic binary is fake. So, yeah. Eight’s feelings regarding Three, and more importantly, what Eight knows about those feelings, will change and grow throughout the rest of Operation Atlantis. Look forward to it.

Iso Padre: My man!!! Iso Padre has officially become my underrated fave. He shows up so rarely in fics if at all and it’s such a shame because I think there’s a lot to do with him. Before this chapter, I struggled to really pin down what I wanted him to act and speak like, but after this chapter, I think I got it. Iso Padre is only middle-aged, but he has a sense of wisdom beyond his years that comes from his experiences. He cares a lot about Eight and the other test subjects who are/were under his care, but he’s also afraid of caring about them in case it hurts too much when he has to let go. This is why he agreed with Kamabo to have his memories taken away, so the pain can be erased too. We all know the real reason though. From what we know in canon, Iso Padre has memory loss but, like Eight, it’s unclear what the source of that memory loss actually is. I chose this interpretation because it’s interesting from a character standpoint and it shows how Kamabo subtly manipulates people into cooperating with them. Iso Padre, of course, is not the first person to be manipulated like this, and unfortunately, he’s far from the last.

The First Interactions: Three and Eight are interacting! Yay!!! The first one from Three’s POV was actually not in my outline, but I decided to add it after I wrote the first few sentences of an Azalea scene that I ended up cutting. Poor Eight is very nervous, as anyone would be, but hey, Miyo is right. Three doesn’t bite. The oven scene was one of my earliest ideas for this chapter, and it’s absolutely adorable. Not only do we get Eight trying to help and almost burning herself due to a lack of knowledge, but we also get Three teaching her how to use oven mitts! Don’t tell Three I said this, but, I think it was pretty cute of her to do that. To Three it’s just doing the right thing, but hey. Maybe there’s more than she thinks underneath her icy exterior ;)

Dork/Dumbass: Okay, okay, guys there is something about insults used affectionately that just sends me. I’m not sure if it’s the playful teasing or “Yeah, you’re an idiot, but I love you anyways” but AAAAAAAAAA. So yeah, when I came up with this idea for Three and Eight I immediately loved it. The best part, I think, is that while “dork” and dumbass are insults, they are kind of technically true. Three, stoicism and hero complex aside, really is kind of an awkward loser. Eight isn’t “dumb” so to speak, but she can be a bit of an airhead sometimes who doesn’t use common sense (see: not using oven mitts). Hence, why they call each other this. And, as you probably could’ve guessed from Three at the end there, it doesn’t end up being used entirely meanly. It becomes quite affectionate, actually.

Three’s Crisis: Three. Three my beloved, gay, absolute disaster of an inkling. We’ll see this a LOT throughout the entire rest of this fic, but, Three’s basically built a rigid set of standards for herself one could call a “hero complex.” This hero complex, among other things, forces her to be calm, stoic, and focused at all times, and it’s in overdrive now that they’re in Atlantis. It’s encouraged by Cuttlefish and it’s also the only way Three knows how to cope with everything. Is it a good way to cope? Hell no! It makes Three repress her emotions to hell and back. Don’t do that kids. And one of the emotions she’s been repressing is, well—Three is lonely. She’s convinced herself that two busy idols and a grandpa are the only people she needs in life because she can’t imagine anyone else taking an interest in her. She can’t imagine anyone else caring about her. But, then there’s have Eight, being nice and doing all these favors for her because... she wants Three to be friends with her? What? It goes against everything Three’s forced herself to believe. Hence, she’s stunned by it lol. But, Three’s on a mission, and she can accept Eight’s offer to be friends based on that. Besides, it’s not like it will last. It’s not like it will mean anything, right? Yeahhh good luck with that THREE.

Tendril ties and friendship: If there’s something I love about writing, it’s symbolism. It gets a reputation for being pretentious, but like— there’s just something unique and interesting about connecting an intangible theme to a tangible object. It doesn’t even have to be complicated. Like, with the tendril ties—it’s not about the tendril ties themselves, it’s about the friendship. Eight first sees them being exchanged between friends, so she immediately associates the two because she’s still learning what friendship is. Hence, her offering one to Three is offering friendship. Woo. For a slightly more complicated interpretation that I just thought of while writing this, I think you can say that the tendril ties represent shared experiences. That’s how friendship is made, after all. And then, Three and Eight tying their tendrils up could show how they’ve become similar as a result of those shared experiences. Just some food for thought. But yeah, I had this idea before I started writing this chapter (kinda like the oven scene), and it’s included here because why not. It also ties (haha, get it, ties) nicely into some stuff with Three and Eight much, MUCH later on. Like post-Operation Atlantis levels of late. So late that I can’t talk about it but hey, I think it’s cool. 

So that’s that! I think I’m gonna do what I did for these notes in the future rather than going scene by scene like I did in chapter 4. Chapter 6 will be... a while most likely, I have exams coming up and unfortunately that takes precedence over funny gay cephalopods 😔. Late May/Early June maybe? I dunno. Hopefully progress on this fic will speed up in the summer. No promises though.

[ofvergen]

Fallout Verse Notes

Saskia runs a shelter called The Golden Dragon in Freeside, under the facade of being a motel, though it’s a rather well-known fact it’s much more than that. She welcomes and offers protection to all sorts of downtrodden people without asking for much in return. Her story is that the building has been in her family for a very long time and her father passed it on to her a few years back, though nobody seems to remember a time when it wasn’t administered by Saskia. Her shelter runs independently of the Kings or Followers, though she’s cooperated with both in the past.

There are many rumors surrounding Saskia and The Golden Dragon: some say her family has access to pre-war technology that is kept hidden from all major organizations that would seek to use it, that Saskia and her father are not humans, but ghouls or super mutants or something else entirely, that their family wealth is much greater than it seems, and so on and so forth. 

Saskia gained the respect of the local community after allegedly fighting and killing a deathclaw all by herself, thus earning her the Deathclaw Slayer moniker, though many doubt the veracity of this story. There are of course many more who would see Saskia’s shelter destroyed, but none have been able to disrupt her activity so far. Everyone knows The Golden Dragon is a well-guarded establishment, but if asked, nobody would be able to tell exactly by whom or what it is guarded.

The truth is, she did have an encounter with an adult deathclaw dangerously close to New Vegas, but she didn’t kill it, and instead merely knocked it out and released it somewhere out in the wilderness. It had been lured near The Golden Dragon by Saskia’s enemies who were hoping it would wreak havoc and kill enough people to destabilize her activity and jeopardize her legitimacy as the leader of her organization. That, however, didn’t happen as Saskia managed to deal with it swiftly and without losses, and the whole affair remained shrouded in mystery to the general public, becoming something of an urban legend and Saskia a local hero.

The Golden Dragon isn’t just a shelter; it’s a brewing rebellion, a network of informants, an army in training, and most importantly it’s a place where people can find hope and purpose. Much like in her original verse, Saskia’s goal is to establish an independent state where everyone can coexist peacefully, especially all those who wouldn’t be so readily accepted somewhere else– ghouls, synths, super mutants, the sick, destitute, elderly, orphans, etc. Basically, she takes everyone in as long as they behave and respect the rules that exist within their small community. It’s nothing culty though. She doesn’t try to groom people into joining her– they simply choose to do so.

Saskia is much older than she looks– she’s over 200 years old in fact.

Her father, known to most as Borch Three Jackdaws, is indeed a ghoul. He’s elusive and mysterious, never staying in one place for too long, but many of those who’ve met him would describe him as gentle, intelligent, and soft-spoken.

Their story goes a long way back, before the Great War. Saskia is biologically related to her father, just not in the traditional sense (bear with me here, it’ll make sense in a minute.)

Back then Borch was known as Villen. As the sole heir of a very old, very rich, very influential family, he chose to use his family’s wealth and status to fund research into nuclear medicine, anticipating a nuclear war. From here, his interest in medicine and science compelled him to get involved in this field as more than an investor. Soon he would become known as a brilliant medic and savant and open a private laboratory equipped with the best technology there was, all within a secure vault.

Mere months before the Great War broke out, Villen met Myrthe, a fellow nuclear medicine scientist and single mother of a 4-year-old girl, Saskia. Villen and Myrthe became lovers quickly, but their newfound happiness wouldn’t last too long. Shit hit the fan and the war broke out while Myrthe was away on a business trip and had left Saskia in Villen’s care. The two of them found shelter in Villen’s vault, but even so, Saskia still became ill from the radiation.

Cue many long, painful years during which Villen did everything in his power to keep Saskia alive. Ultimately what it came to was exposing himself to radiation, promoting the ghoulification process and “lending” Saskia his very genetic code, re-programming everything and hoping that her body would gain the ability to fight back the radiation. Even that wasn’t sufficient to bring her to a stable state, however, and it was at this point when Villen decided to begin replacing the parts of Saskia’s body affected by the radiation with cybernetic implants.

Thus, Saskia became a cyborg, Villen a ghoul, and genetically speaking they’re more twins than father and daughter, but they do regard each other as such after everything they’ve been through.

Although she is over 200 years old, Saskia has been out and about in the world for a much shorter amount of time and she has the maturity and life experience of someone in their late 20s.

So that’s Saskia’s most closely-guarded secret-- she’s a very convincing cyborg passing as human.

[fadedneonzzz]

I really am so tired of people calling Cinder’s backstory boring and unimaginative. I guess one could argue that it was unimaginative, but the Cinderella story has been told since the time of the ancient Egyptians. While they definitely could’ve done more to make more creative, it’s pretty hard to revolutionize a tale that is basically 2,000 years old with hundreds, if not thousands of iterations all being the ultimate “rags to riches” story. A simple tale of a young woman who is deemed worthless gets the chance to finally be something else than a housemaid.

I get that we’ve waited years for Cinder’s backstory, but to call it pointless because it didn’t blow you away is very disrespectful to not only the people who did enjoy it, but the writers as well.

Could it have deviated more from the original source material? Absolutely. However, much like the other characters’ inspirations, they haven’t met the same end. For example, Ruby has yet to be eaten by a wolf, Weiss hasn’t been poisoned, and Yang isn’t running away from 3 bears. For Cinder, she is the Cinderella who couldn’t put up with the abuse any longer. Cinderella is often portrayed as a pure hearted person who endures all of her hardships no matter how difficult it became for her. What Cinder and Cinderella for sure have in common is that in the beginning their suffering continued without any end in sight. When their chance to get what they want was within arm’s reach, her cruel step-family stepped in to ruin that dream.

Also keep in mind that most iterations of Cinderella are usually older than Cinder was. They also have the patience of saints, this in turn makes Cinder’s struggle more understandable and gives it a sense of realism. Simply calling Cinder’s backstory “Edgy Cinderella” wouldn’t be the most accurate summation. Cinder is a child, a child who was pushed around and abused at an early age. Treated like trash for no reason other than existing.

She’s always in the wrong for protecting herself, even when she’s (somewhat) justified.

From Cinder’s perspective, she must be constantly asking herself why must she suffer? Why does no one love or care about her? And most importantly, Why is she not worth it? Unfortunately, due to Rhodes not understanding the severity of what Cinder was going through, the only conclusion she can come to is “You just aren’t worth it”.

And ever since she snapped and killed people who have done nothing but torment her for the last 4-6 years, all it did was reinforce this answer as Rhodes basically told her she’s no longer worth anything.

 But these people

They are worth protecting. But you

No. You have to take it like a good law abiding citizen.

What a great lesson, right? Expecting Cinder to shrug it off just wasn’t happening.

To me, Cinder’s backstory, while not the most creative, is probably the most dark and tragic so far (beat only by Ozpin and Salem’s backstory) as Cinder basically had no chance and had every little bit of hope crushed into dust. One of RWBY’s core story elements is finding hope when there is none. In my opinion, the  villains who really emphasize the opposite the most  is Hazel and Cinder. Both had what little hope they had demolished before their eyes, because of that despair they fell into darkness. The heroes are the opposite, no matter how impossible their task seems, they still try to find a way to find hope. Another core story element is fear and what it does to people. Cinder is still scared of something, whether or not she’s letting that fear control her is up for debate.  

Just writing off Cinder’s backstory as just edgy Cinderella or say she was just always angry is a little lazy to me. Calling it unimaginative tells me you didn’t care to look any deeper than what we got on the surface. There are so many other posts on Tumblr, Reddit, and Twitter that go even deeper into it than I have. Honestly, the people who say that about Cinder’s backstory are being extremely cynical. It tells me you weren’t that interested in Cinder to begin with and you just don’t want to care. I can understand expecting more or feeling it was too short, or maybe it didn’t deviate far enough from basic ass Cinderella. 

Or maybe I’m the dumbass for trying to read too deep into this, who knows? 

If you genuinely didn’t like Cinder’s backstory, that is fine, I have no ill will towards you.  

[blockgamepirate]

Technoblade’s purpose in the political narrative of the Dream SMP

I can’t sleep so I decided to finally write the post I’ve been struggling with for literal months, except way more casual because I can’t be bothered anymore and also I’m sleep deprived.

So the thing is: to me the DSMP storyline has always been primarily political, probably because I was introduced to it through Wilbur who was definitely going for political, and also because I’m just generally interested in political narratives right now. Obviously I appreciate the character work and the personal relationship stuff, that’s what makes it more interesting than just dry allegory, but when it comes down to it, this story is about politics to me. So that’s the angle I’m going to approach it from.

Also not to spoil the conclusions here, but I’m an anarchist, that’s my lens.

(Obviously all of this is about rp from here on out unless otherwise specified)

Basically the situation as Techno joins the server is this: L'Manburg exists as an autonomous nation and is de facto independent although not officially recognised by the Dream SMP. The self-appointed president Wilbur Soot decides to hold an election and rig it in order to consolidate his power over the nation he founded and he gets his VP Tommyinnit to join in on the plan. Their scheme fails and they end up voted out instead. The new president, Schlatt, immediately establishes himself as an authoritarian figure and exiles Wilbur and Tommy.

A couple of points on what the election arc demonstrates:

1: the appearance of democracy can be used for distinctly undemocratic purposes.

2: even if the elections aren’t rigged, the electoral system could be massively flawed and end up favouring a party that in fact didn’t have the popular vote

3: even if the winning government (the coalition in this case) has the majority vote, that doesn’t guarantee that they’ll actually act according to the popular will.

4: the supporters of the losing parties basically just have to let the majority overrule their wishes, espcially since apparently L’Manburg doesn’t have an established role for an opposition, yikes. That’s actually a MAJOR oversight in the system but I’m not gonna go into that too much.

5: frankly as an anarchist I am just deeply cynical towards representative democracy, and just because you have a token appearance of choice and consent doesn’t mean that it isn’t a hierarchical and authoritarian system. And to be fair, from my point of view this applies even to so-called liberal democracies and progressive parties. Full disclosure: even if L'Manburg was the ideal example of a representative democracy (which it very much isn’t) I would still be opposed to it because I fundamentally do not believe in top down systems, even electoral ones.

6: despite all these flaws, all the characters seem to implicitly accept the electoral system as legitimate. There’s criticism against the actions of individual characters acting within the system, such as Quackity calling out Wilbur for trying to rig the election, but nobody is questioning the system itself.

So at this point I’m sitting there, watching all this go down, and thinking “man, this would be so much more bearable if there was an anarchist point of view being represented in the story.”

And hey, look who IMMEDIATELY SHOWS UP.

Okay, I’m not gonna lie, early installation Technoblade is not the best representation of anarchism. I was mostly rooting for him out of sheer contrarianism initially. I didn’t really even care if it would be another Killmonger/Magneto/Zaheer situation because I’m used to reading against the authorial intent when it comes to these things. Sometimes any representation is better than no representation, even with political ideologies. That’s not to say that him just straight up spouting this hobbesian notion of a “dog-eat-dog world” didn’t grate on me, obviously it did.

That kind of worldview of humanity needing authority in order to prevent chaos and conflict is literally antithetical to anarchism and is the favourite talking point of authoritarians, the least anarchist people there are. It’s literally what people use to argue AGAINST anarchism. I think it’s mostly because cc!Techno obviously wasn’t particularly educated on anarchist thought and was just basically having fun roleplaying with his friends at this point. Which is frustrating but fair enough I guess.

Cynical ideas about human nature are pretty deeply rooted in the mainstream, unfortunately, most people just consider it common sense. And like I said, it’s a huge talking point in the propaganda against anarchism.

(… even though in fact these arguments were originally used against proponents of representative democracy. Hobbes himself was very much a monarchist, the idea of letting normal people vote for their representatives would have been terrifying to him. Like surely the world would descent into a free-for-all war, all against all. Imagine letting commoners have OPINIONS, the horror.)

So yeah, that stuff was pretty ehhhhh. It was basically what I’d expected though: cc!Techno isn’t an anarchist and we just don’t get accurate representation from non-anarchists, ever. What I dared to hope was that Techno’s character would at least stay consistent about his opposition to ALL governments. I was pretty sure that he would, even though it seemed like the majority of the fandom at the time was convinced that he would switch over to Schlatt’s side or something. It would have been a really shitty twist, I would have ragequit immediately. I mean what would have been the entire point of his character then? He might as well have been a random mercenary. Why even have his character be an anarchist if you were just going to make him work for a government?

(ftr this is kinda my biggest problem with the Hypixel Skyblock revolution event lol, honestly I think that was a worse depiction of anarchism than early DSMP Technoblade. I mean the speech was good, but… still became a government official, tho. booooooooo, cringe)

And yes, I was rooting against L'Manburg, obviously, and I would have even if it had meant having to deal with another badly written anarchist villain character. I never understood why people saw L'Manburg as the good guys, they were nationalist and exclusionary and their whole existence was based on trying to scam people for money.

I mean they were definitely funny, they were great entertainers. I have no problems with people rooting for them because they’re fun to watch; I did that for a bit too. But people were starting to get really into the story and talk about Wilbur and Tommy, the corrupt politicians, and the country that literally excluded people based on nationality as the heroes, unironically, which was wild to me. And when Wilbur started his “villain arc” well: people called it a villain arc, as if he hadn’t been pretty much a bad guy from the beginning, constantly just out for money and power and taking advantage of the people around him and then pretending to be the victim when challenged. I mean yes he got worse, but I wouldn’t call it a villain arc, more like just a mental breakdown arc.

More importantly, to me L'Manburg represented so many things I hate about the status quo in real life, and seeing the fandom mostly unquestioningly accept it as good just pissed me off. Still pisses me off tbh. I mean, to be diplomatic I could say that I understand the emotional attachment and the way L'Manburg was built up mirrors a lot of how real nations are built and how they create a sense of patriotism out of symbols and a sense of honour and loyalty, and it’s actually really fascinating how it even works in a Minecraft roleplay. Says something about the human mind I guess. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.

Anyway, I just wanted to see literally any kind of opposition to power, even if it had to come from a character that was unquestionably a villain, which I fully assumed Techno would be. Because political narratives so often just leave us out, or at best barely mention us. And even from a narrative point of view, adding an anarchist perspective to a political story just objectively broadens its scope and actually challenges people who are used to only arguing along the lines of conservative or liberal, welfare state or privatization, nationalism or multiculturalism, etc. Even if the original work dealt with it poorly, at least it would give me the excuse to rant about it on Tumblr, which is kinda why I revived my old Minecraft sideblog for this. (That and pig!Techno fanart.)

Also how can you have a story so fundamentally about power without its counterpoint: the rejection of power?

(Yes, Dream SMP as a whole is definitely a narrative about power, it’s a huge theme for Wilbur, Quackity, Dream, Eret and the Badlanders at least, as well as obviously the anarchist characters from the opposite direction.)

So yeah, the build up to November 16th for me was mainly about the anticipation for what Techno would do, how would Techno’s character respond to the seemingly inevitable formation of a new government. THAT was the point of interest for me, that was what I was the most invested in. Would we get an actual anarchist opposition as a new side to the conflict or would they just awkwardly drop that whole angle? Or even have him team up with Schlatt like a complete sellout? There was so much potential but I worried they might just waste it.

And I was right to worry since apparently in the original script Techno wasn’t supposed to do anything, he was just there to help fight Schlatt and witness the explosion along with everyone else.

And WOW that would have been so incredibly boring

Not even just from the political perspective, just talking about the narrative in general terms here: imagine November 16th without Techno’s plot points. Not only would it have been boring for Techno’s character but it would have been equally boring for basically everybody but Wilbur and Philza. An anticlimactic fight followed by a big explosion that pretty much everybody had seen coming already. Yes, the button room scene is dramatic and heartbreaking… for Wilbur and Phil. But nobody else was there to see it. For everybody else, it was just a big explosion. It would have been such a huge disservice to anyone watching the other POVs.

Techno’s intervention gave everyone an ACTUAL climactic fight, it allowed characters other than Wil and Phil to witness some actual drama happening and to participate in it, rather than just waiting around for the explosion, while also foreshadowing the explosion. Even better, it provoked SO MUCH discussion in the fandom AND gave a perfect hook for future conflicts to arise. Wilbur’s end was tragic but it was, at the time, final. L'Manburg would have still suffered a catastrophe but it would have been left with just the same exact antagonist as before: Dream.

And at this point Dream’s core goals had barely changed, just his approach was now different. Yes, that makes a difference for the plot, but it doesn’t really change much in terms of ideological conflict. Especially since there really isn’t that big of an ideological difference between Dream and Tommy, because arguably neither of them are particularly big on ideology in the first place, they just have conflicting goals and use different tactics to achieve those goals (well, the tactics aren’t always even that different *cough Spirit cough*).

Techno’s conflict with Tubbo and especially Quackity (and honestly most of the other characters in general) brings in so much more depth to the story, just by introducing another angle, not to even mention how much it brings to focus questions about power and violence. These are themes that exist in other characters’s storylines too but nowhere in the same way or as central as with Techno.

I’m getting kind of ahead of myself here, though.

The real twist of November 16th was the fact that Techno WASN’T a straight up villain, actually. It was a twist to me anyway, because with all my cynicism I just didn’t see it coming, I didn’t expect him to actually start making reasonable criticisms. I didn’t expect him to drop the hobbesian arguments entirely and start making points that actually sounded like anarchism.

I have to assume that cc!Techno must have seen some of the criticisms of his character and been inspired to adjust because the difference is pretty notable.

(Sidenote: I’m just forever kinda sad that Techno’s “I may seem like the villain here” monologue was cut from the video and most people never heard it.)

And I felt SO validated by the way, because it works so well in the story! Everyone is mostly content with the restoration of a status quo of some sort, Schlatt is gone, this is supposed to be the good ending, and then Techno calls them all out and turns the narrative around completely: This was just a coup d'état. This was just the previous political leadership retaking power by force. Why is everyone celebrating the same exact system that lead to Schlatt’s authoritarian rule in the first place?

What he does there is force the audience to question the narrative they’ve been presented so far, that they’ve accepted without a thought. It might not convince them, but they can’t just ignore it either.

Whatever you wanna say about the discourse around Techno on that day, in the ideological narrative THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. Not who betrayed who or when is political violence justified, that’s about personal relationships and morality and it’s mostly all more relevant to the aftermath than the event itself. In my opinion, the REAL point in the moment is that the characters and the audience were comfortable with the ending only to be presented with a completely new perspective on the events.

It also recontextualises the finale, including Wilbur’s actions! It’s a much more ambiguous end to the Pogtopia vs Manburg arc and to Wilbur’s original run as the head writer. Wilbur’s “even with Tubbo in charge I don’t think [that ‘special place’] can exist again” is vague enough to be dismissed as just part of his paranoia and internal conflict, but with Techno, there’s a concrete question: what if Tubbo, given the same powers as Schlatt, will turn out to be just a new Schlatt? And suddenly you have to wonder what Wilbur meant by his words too. And was all this foreshadowing something about L’Manburg’s future?

Okay I’ve only made it to November 16th and there’s so much more DSMP to talk about but the post is getting too long and I’m starting to lose my energy. Will I ever make a part two? No idea. But I’ll try.

Standard disclaimer: I’m not the spokesperson of anarchism, other anarchists might disagree with my reading

[captnjacksparrow]

Why do I ship SNS?

It is a known fact that when people experience a good media, they like to discuss various things they liked, hated, interpret what the creator trying to say and get something from what they have consumed. Eventually people end up in a shipping war if there are multiple possibilities. 

I started watching Naruto on a whim, hoping to see some ninjas in action with some revenge as a background (after all when you have power, there will always be a revenge). Am a sucker for revenge, btw. I am a person who hates romance in media. Because, every movie, book, novel, series has this same recycled romance plastered into every story even though the story don’t need at all. So, I am very tired of it. Every media portrays romance as something inevitable, necessary and something we can’t live without. That’s wrong. 

Usually, romance goes like this... Person A sees Person B... they hate each other and add some possessiveness, jealousy... they magically gets attracted through some shared experiences eventually... they kiss and make babies. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s just very tiring as I’ve seen million forms of this same repeated trope. I always cringe and yell “Can you give us something different? Grrr.....”.

And also, my motto is that love can happen with any person. It can’t be restrained into certain boundaries. So, I don’t like to put some relationship under an umbrella called Gay, Lesbian, Straight or whatever. Of course, illicit relationships and incest are not normal and am not okay with it.

With all that being said...

My experience after watching the Shippuden series until episode 478 was “Wait, do they love each other?”. I know am very late to realize this, but I have never even viewed them with any romantic lens throughout. 

On my first watch, I was always under the impression that “They are friends”... But there are certain moments I felt “Wait, why are they doing like this which could’ve been handled in a different way!!” I will get to this later in this post. But those moments were overlooked by me because of my curiosity of “What happens next ??”. 

And on my rewatch, it only confirmed my view. 

The other popular ships like SS and NH put forth many points to invalidate what SNS represents. The most common being “They are reincarnated brothers” or  “They are best friends”. Am just going to debunk them from my point of view. 

Naruto and Sasuke are like brothers.....

Nope. 

The best brotherhood title, in this series, should officially go to Itachi and Sasuke. 

You can argue as much as you want that Itachi mindfucked Sasuke and killed his parents....yaada yaada.... 

It is repeatedly shown why Itachi put a curtain on his own clan. The reason is, Uchiha clan decided to forcefully take over the village. No matter how much innocent you are, you cannot take over something with force. Dot. I will write about this in a separate post.

In short, Sasuke realised how his clan members were wrong after hearing the story from the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju. That’s why he openly proclaimed “I am going to protect Konoha and become Hokage”. 

Back to the topic, Itachi and Sasuke are blood brothers. If I ship them both, then what you claim is very valid. 

The above gif says, “Sasuke, I know, I made a mistake by filling you with hatred. But whatever you decide to do from now on, I will love you always”. Meaning, He stopped treating Sasuke as a kid and accepts that Sasuke has his own path to walk.

This is exactly how brothers behave. I would do the same to my kid sister. You can see a fraternal instinct from Itachi’s eyes realizing that this is their last time together.

Another thing, Brothers trope always has this hierarchy.... Protect the younger sibling no matter what. It is evident from Madara/Izuna and Hashirama/Tobirama.

Not convinced?

If you pull the Indra and Ashura bullshit, let me tell you one thing. Indra and Ashura were separated and formed their own clan long ago. They eventually branched off into Uchiha and Senju clans. No way you can relate a century old blood relation as brothers. It’s just their chakra got reincarnated over and over. 

Don’t pull up an incest angle between Naruto and Sasuke. Because they never shared a womb. Dot. 

Naruto and Sasuke are Best Friends only.

You know what, you are almost right. I thought that for a very long time. Remember I never wore any shipping goggles ON. 

There are two types of best friend categories. Best Friends without a reason and Best Friends through rivalry. 

Best Friends without a reason in Narutoverse are: Shikamaru/Choji. 

They just became friends and became BFF. They won’t fight or hurt each other. But when you have something to share...you would go to that person and share everything honestly.

Best Friends through Rivalry: Kakashi/Obito, Hashirama/Madara, Naruto/Sasuke

I really cannot provide more proof for the first two pairings as Best Friends as it is not the scope of this post. Although the latter two also qualifies for shipping category. Why?

Because, the common thing among them is that all the three Uchihas awakened/reawakened their Sharingan for their best friend. But Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke are the only pairings to awaken or evolve Sharingan when trying to break their bonds with each other. 

Special Brownie points for Madara. He had 4 brothers and lost 3 but still couldn’t awaken his Sharingan but when trying to break up with Hashirama, his eyes were brimming red. 

Sasuke’s Sharingan matures in the first Valley of The End.

That’s why I excluded Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke from this Best Friends list.

Because to the both Uchihas, the other person meant something special which cannot be comprehended into a mere term called ‘Best Friends’.

Which is exactly why Kakashi/Obito would perfectly fall into this category.

The way they quarrel, fight with each other, protect each other are perfect scores for a friendship. What makes them best friends is when Obito decided to give his Sharingan despite Kakashi was always putting a cold air around him and most importantly asked him to protect his love ‘Rin’. Also Kakashi carried his friend’s will to his heart and passed on to Team 7.

It all falls under ‘In the memory of my Best Friend’ trope.

Obito may be a trash but he is a good friend. Because after Rin was killed, he massacred everyone around him except for Kakashi. He could have killed him. Understandable. Or he could have plucked his Sharingan back (because he literally plucked most of the Sharingans from the Uchiha clan massacre and kept those eyes as a reserve). This could have enabled him to use Susanoo. I believe Susanoo can only be used with Mangekyo Sharingan in both eyes. But for some reason, he didn’t. 

So what makes me think Naruto and Sasuke love each other, not as a brother and not as a friend but something beyond which I can’t term?

My way of shipping is not about marriage, sex and rearing babies. Because literally everyone does this as an obligation. 

So, I don’t ship them in terms of living together in my headcanon and having sex daily. Nope. But it is not wrong though if you ship in that sense.

In this Narutoverse, Women are just some stow away pieces whose sole existence is to fawn over their dreamboy and cry for them. (Usually literally nothing useful comes out of them). Me being a girl, as much as I hate this setup but I have come to terms with whatever it is and have accepted it. If you are a girl looking for a strong female character...... this is not the place. Watch something else. 

But I draw inspiration from male characters who are characterized deeply for which I have to applaud the creator. Reason being, the very first character which I connected with was Itachi. It was when Sasuke thinks about his past with his family in the flashback before the first VotE battle in part I. I will be writing a separate post about Itachi in this week. 

In short, If you are a person who wants inspiration, draw it from male characters. Not in a single moment, you stoop so low for characters like Hinata and Sakura. That’s not how I envision myself or any woman. Dot.

With all this being said, I ship them as a couple who necessarily don’t have to get married or have sex... But they each other has some special allowance towards each other in their hearts which no one can touch, not even their wives or children. 

This doesn’t mean I accept what came after episode 478 as they are literally something they made for $$$$$. 

There are some basic traits which are absolutely necessary for a ship to sail successfully. They are Acknowledgement, Reason, No Hierarchy, Influence, Owning each others rights and Privilege. (All these reasons should come from both the sides for the ship to be worthy)

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Acknowledgement, I mean here, is to accept and acknowledge what they are to each other.

They both agree that they are Bonded/Friends verbally as well as emotionally.

To me, this is essential in any relationship especially for the ones you are trying to ship. I didn’t see this in any other ships like SS or NH where it is always one sided. Sakura confessed before the village entrance to which Sasuke said “You really are annoying!!”. Hinata proposed in Pain arc. Naruto didn’t even acknowledge her confession. He went on to beg for pardon for Sasuke. Again she proposed in the War at the expense of Love Cupid “Neji”. Naruto went on to joke with Minato that Sakura is his Girl Friend. 

If I were in both of these girls place, I would literally be mad and drop this shit right away.

Wheras in SNS, I saw both the people I am trying to ship were asking “What am I to you?”, to which they reply “You are my friend”. To me this is very important.

Reason

To those who are saying “Love is blind”, “Love is Madness”, “Love needs no reason”, you all need self-evaluation. This is not some K Drama situation where you don’t need any reason. You should know why you love someone and why you need the other’s presence.

Naruto’s reason is very simple.

I could provide many reasons. But here, Sasuke, without any reservations... knowing full well of the consequence if he feed Naruto but still extended the helping hand to someone who was always hostile. It is just like what Iruka did. And many incidents which happened during Land of the Waves arc are evident.

He wanted to be friends with this lonely Uchiha boy way back when he was around 7 or 8 for a simple reason that he understands his pain more than anyone. But he really became friends when they were grouped together for Team 7.  

Sasuke’s reason goes even way beyond when Naruto series started.

“Because he felt relief”.

Imagine a young boy who witnessed a massacre before his eyes and lost everyone he loved. But somehow another young boy of his age made him feel relieved. This explains why Sasuke went all out of his way to make friendship with Naruto despite being aloof. 

Isn’t this what we want from someone we love?  

Rather than being completely insensitive about an orphan life or just stalking from the distance and never offered any support, I would prefer someone who understands my pain from their heart and try to reach me. Sasuke reached out to him by offering the lunch and Naruto reached out to him by making him his rival and bug him.

NO HIERARCHY

This is pretty self-explanatory. Unlike blood brothers, there should be no hierarchy in a relationship I want to ship. 

We saw Naruto yells at Sasuke many times absolutely for no reason, despite Sasuke bearing this cold attitude. Probably he is the only person who can call him by such variety of names. 

Sasuke always calls him by his trademark ‘Usuratonkachi’. Sometimes he calls him fool just like everyone. But was never insulting or mean towards Naruto. Except for that time in the final battle, he made fun of his Shadow Clone jutsu citing his loneliness. 

In short, be it a physical fight or verbal offense.... neither of them wilts like a flower. They equally give back. 

The only other person who can verbally assault Sasuke is Karin and probably the only girl who never addresses him as “Sasuke-Kun”. 

U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI..... Why do Sasuke spend such an effort to call someone with a 6 syllabic word, instead NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is way more convenient to call?? I always wonder.

POSITIVE INFLUENCE

I don’t have to spell out anything here. There are many obvious examples but will try to keep it short. 

Naruto became strong because of Sasuke. He trained hard for 3 years with Jiraiya , a month with Kakashi developing Rasen Shuriken and controlled Kurama’s power with Killer Bee. Except for Sage Mode jutsu everything he learnt was all for bringing Sasuke back. 

In short, Sasuke is Naruto’s predominant strength. 

Though Naruto was not the source of strength for Sasuke, but he brings out many vibrant emotions in Sasuke which he really needed for his traumatic mind otherwise he would always be that cold angry brooding doll without any emotions and I am sure Sasuke enjoys to banter with Naruto.

LOL!!! I don’t know why Sasuke feels competitve here. It’s pretty childish even for Sasuke.

Friendly tease :-) I think he also protected Sakura in this scene. He can also ask her the same, isn’t it? I mean as a friend. 

The best one is yet to come

It’s incredibly hilarious to see how Sasuke pouts when he was with Naruto. Sakura!!!! You third wheeling joker :-D :-D

Throughout Shippuden, Sasuke never shows his emotions with anyone. He either looks very cold or angry.

Reminiscing his Team 7 days, for a split second. 

Probably the only positive emotion is this, in all of the Shippuden. I mean not counting Episode 478.

I don’t think Sakura brought any kind emotions in Sasuke except annoyance when they were together in Team 7. Or Hinata too. These girls just moan “Sasuke-Kun”, “Naruto-Kun” but brings nothing to the table. Total wastrels!!!!!

OWNING EACH OTHER’S RIGHTS

This section is exactly where SNS moves on to a whole different level.

Sasuke wanted to inflict his pain over everyone who lives in peaceful Konoha for what it did to Itachi. (though I don’t really accept with Sasuke here since he never even bothered to question about his clan’s history, but what he was doing is understandable. Just like Naruto tells him).

But the context here is Sasuke is on a murder rampage. Starting from the Kage Summit, killing Danzo, unnecessarily hurting Karin and almost reached a point where he could not be stopped anymore. Then Ms.Annoying appears. She literally have no fucking clue what Sasuke is going through. So started to spout nonsense that she wanted to go with Sasuke-Kun with an ulterior motive to kill him without a strong resolve. 

The interesting SS dynamics here is Sasuke asks Sakura “Do you know what I want?” and to which she gives a carefree-shitty-pathetic answer “I don’t care. I will do whatever you want”. Geez!!!

If I were Sasuke, I would think, “This person standing before me don’t even care about what I want but coming with an intent to kill me and not only that... she is a kunoichi from Konoha where I planned to inflict my pain by slaughtering them.. I better ram my Chidori and be done with it”... He doesn’t see her as his former Teammate. He just want to kill that person.

However, Kakashi deflects the attack and saves Ms.Useless. 

( Me : I am a Sasuke fan through and through. But, Sakura..... You always says you will do this, do that.... But you never succeed at anything... Why is that? Why are you even continue being a ninja? No one asked you to kill Sasuke, you decided to. But why don’t you kill him. Probably you would’ve earned my begrudging respect... Pffft” ****sighs with a heavy second hand embarassment)

Anyways, Sasuke becomes an unstoppable maniac at this point because he was very irritated on seeing Kakashi and Sakura spouting some unreachable nonsense. So he started to attack Kakashi as he is even more irritated on seeing his Sharingan.

Again, Ms.Idiot wants to kill Sasuke when he is at his weakest point due to chakra exhaustion and that too from behind his back. (You!!! Gutless wrench). Sasuke sensed this and attempted to kill her again... (Naruto!!! You idiot. Why did you save her...)

However, Naruto appears and saves her. Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes meet each other.

But somehow Sasuke calmed down and hears out Naruto for what he has to say. He says, “Whatever you are doing until now, it’s understandable”. 

Kakashi wanted to kill him and Sasuke got riled up and prepare his Chidori. Anyways, Naruto intervenes and they go to some meta physical plane and talks privately. And Naruto comes up with his idea and announces as below:

Me: Naruto!!!! Sweety..... Do you realize that you have a big dream of becoming a Hokage which you have been shouting from Day 1? But still you want to overthrow everything for that one person who is in unbearable pain. It’s alright. But you don’t want to go alone or send him alone. No Best friend would go this far. And to those Sakura shippers.... Why didn’t Sakura try to bear the burden? Why didn’t she come up with this Idea? Afterall, you spout nonsense like ‘Sakura saved Sasuke from Darkness, isn’t it?’ And, Naruto.... Who gave you the right to take his hatred and shoulder the burden? And what makes you think you are that only person to do it??? Sasuke, might have other special person in those 3 years. How can you decide on Sasuke’s behalf??? Aren’t you going overboard ?

The answer to all the above is simple, Naruto can risk anything for Sasuke. And he clearly knew that Sasuke’s only living bond is him.

And what happened next was almost unbelievable and for the first time I thought ‘What is it with these two guys?’. 

Sasuke agrees with Naruto’s proposition to not destroy Konoha before fighting with Naruto. 

Me: Sasuke!!!! You have every right to reject his proposition. Since, he was not in your life for the past 3 years, your side of bond with Naruto should have been cut-off long back, right? Sasuke??? Well, at this point he was just your former Team 7 member. You don’t need to honor your proposition. You can attack Konoha anytime. Why did you accept?

Also Me: Sweety!!! Why do you always question Naruto ‘Who am I to you’? Why do you need his opinion always? There is an annoying princess standing behind Naruto vying for your attention. And yet you didn’t even ask her this question at any time. But before Naruto, you completely calmed down from your rampage and willing to wait for what he has to say plus asking for his validation. After all you don’t care about anything, why just Naruto???

And the reason being, Naruto is still his closest bond which he couldn’t cut off despite trying very hard. After all, Many years ago, Sasuke was the one, who readily jumped in to protect Naruto knowing full well that it’s a trap. He was ready to throw away his revenge for this boy back then. Sasuke is afraid that he will give in to this bond once more and Naruto is his weakness which he wants to eliminate so badly.

This is definitely not any Best Friend would do..... Fix that in your mind.

The purpose of these GIFs is not show how protective Sasuke is..... Well, I can talk about it all day. Let’s save it.

Me: Yo!!!! Sasuke..... You wanted to kill Naruto.... You said so yourself under the bridge. Meaning, He is the only person standing between your goal and your resolve and Naruto is always known to weaken your resolve. And yet why are you protecting him here? There is absolutely no need. Because, if there is a situation like Kaguya where both of you are must needed to save this world , then there is a reason to save him. But why now? Plus do you know, if Naruto dies, then Madara’s plan may not succeed because if a Jinchuriki dies, tailed beast also dies. It is perfect for your Revolution, isn’t it? Who gave you the right to own his life? Obito has his reason to kill Naruto, why not let him?Why is it that you want to personally remove him from your life? If he is dead by an external factor, you can carry on your path without any interference and pain. Why go so far to protect him ?

The answer is Sasuke values Naruto’s life more than his own even during his Team 7 days. He has this high esteem for Naruto and almost consider it to be a shame if some worthless fool takes his life. And Sasuke never hated Naruto. He once hated Itachi and his resolve to kill was real and intense. But when Orochimaru asked him to kill 1000 people for practice, Sasuke never killed anyone. He even implemented no kill policy for his team “Hebi”. So, someone like Sasuke who never liked to kill random innocent people, how could he let some trash take away a life, he considers dearly to the same level of Itachi? That’s why in this situation, his body moved on his own to protect something special for him. He may not agree it, but he always shows it.

But some other ship wankers try to say Sasuke may have said “You are annoying” but inside he deeply loved her which is why he was smiling. If so, Why didn’t Sasuke never showed his care not even once? He not only tried to kill her twice when she was defenseless but also let her die twice or didn’t bother at all during the war. Or show me where these soul level connection happened between SS or NH

In short, Sasuke and Naruto own each other’s rights unconsciously. Because they are the only ones who can understand each other’s soul which nobody can reach.

Me: Oh, by the way Sasuke, I think Susanoo should be used like this. You really don’t need your hand to protect Naruto. Susanoo can do it’s work for you. Minato would be proud though!!!!

PRIVILEGE

Most of the points I written above are in and of itself is a privilege they give for each other and not for anyone else. Privilege is essential in a ship. Because it shows how different a loved one is from normal people. 

For Naruto, 

I originally want to put how he begs for forgiveness on Sasuke’s behalf before Raikage and weeps immeasurably before hyperventilating. But this one trumps the other. Naruto literally broadcasted everyone how important Sasuke is to him and how he regretted not offering his friendship at that time and how he couldn’t stop Sasuke from reaching Orochimaru. 

If you want to inspire Alliance shinobi forces, you should have shown how you worked so hard from the bottom to top. Projecting Sasuke as your regret and inspiring people shows how deeply you prioritize this person which affects you after so many years and hence, you don’t want any more regrets. 

It’s very unconventionally romantic which passes the shipping category in flying colours. 

For Sasuke,

The following is the Land of the waves arc which was novelized in the name of Innocent Heart, Demonic Blood released in 2006. 99.9% of the material is exactly as it happens in Manga/Anime. 

This is the privilege Sasuke provides for Naruto. “ But coming from Sasuke, It almost counted as a hug”... 

BROWNIE POINTS:

Now, the following are the scenes which add a mysterious flavour to this ship. I sincerely don’t understand why Kishimoto put this. I mean I am absolutely happy with it, but why? What was he thinking while drawing these scenes? 

It’s also strange that, whenever they clash a Chidori with Rasengan..... They always gets repelled to their own sides and fall with a loud thump. But Naruto’s posture looks very perfect, I mean it looks like someone carried him and laid him down. Anyways, What’s Sasuke doing on Naruto’s side?? He should have fell on the opposite side. Why didn’t he walk away? There is absolutely no reason for Sasuke to come over to Naruto’s side and have an intense meaningful gaze. 

This is another mysterious plus intense scene. I am still wondering, Is this really Sasuke? He is a person who avoids casual touches with anyone other than his brother. I’ve seen so many times Sasuke rejecting hugs from Sakura. I can’t even imagine what Kishimoto was thinking. 

If you people pass these scenes off as Brotherhood or Best Friend chemistry... Then you lack basic human emotions. That’s all. 

Me: Well, Sasuke, If you really want to kill him, you should have shovelled your sword right through Naruto’s vital point when you made that exuberant landing. There is literally no need for you to draw a long sword in close quarters. And what about the Personal Space??? With your speed, you can land without leaning on Naruto’s shoulders... 

Also Me: Yo, Naruto... You were panicking when Sai does the same....but you don’t even flinch when Sasuke invades your personal space????

Anyways, it’s funny that both the intense scenes I have mentioned here were initiated by Sasuke. Quite strange and thrilling.

So, to conclude.... All these scenes I have mentioned  made me unconsciously ship them as a pair. With all these being said, I believe all the ingredients for a good romance were laid perfectly. A moment of impulsive tension or affection, say a hug, between them after a difficult battle could mess with both and make a romance happen. And I don’t think either of them will deny especially Sasuke. 

I don’t see any of this aspect in other popular ships such as SS and NH. If I am Sakura or Hinata in this universe, I will not be okay with my pair doing all these things with other person. I intentionally left scenes from Episode 478 as it is so intense and require a separate post. I am happy that even without Episode 478, SNS ship sails high. So, I believe both Sakura and Hinata are still fourth wheeling their respective pairs in Boruto universe also, I guess. 

P.S: I don’t watch Boruto

Final memento:

No way a friend will look this mesmerized on seeing the other one. 

[star-maiden]

Help! These D*** Cards Don’t make sense!

What To Do When a Tarot Reading Seems Like Nonsense

⭐️ First of all, we need to get a few things clear. Tarot won’t always make sense. You will make mistakes. Sometimes, you won’t get any messages at all no matter how hard you try. If this sounds similar to your experience with the cards, don’t feel bad. It doesn’t mean you’re a “bad” reader. As soon as you get more comfortable with the idea of being wrong, you’ll find that your confidence (and subsequently your readings) will improve a lot! Got that? Great! Let’s move on to the topic at hand.

Confused by your tarot cards? Don’t get discouraged.

⭐️ I’m just going to tell you plainly. There isn’t a single tarot reader in the world who hasn’t been completely baffled with their cards at some point. This is natural and a completely normal part of the learning process. What’s more, Tarot is one of those things that you never really stop learning more about. There is always room for growth, and for finding deeper meanings within the stories each card tells. So if you’re hoping to be a “Tarot Master” with omnipotent vision and 100% accurate readings about everything, then I’m afraid I must be the bearer of bad news: There’s no such thing. We’ll all be wrong or confused sometimes, and that’s ok.

Even so, there are a few things to consider if you find yourself bamboozled by your cards more often than not.

Reasons why your tarot cards don’t make sense, and what to do about it.

1. You’re cards haven’t been shuffled properly.

⭐️ This is a common culprit for readings that aren’t making much sense. If you don’t shuffle your cards enough, either straight out of the plastic wrapping or after too many readings, you won’t get any clear messages. This is especially true if you’ve been doing a lot of readings, and just quickly shuffling your pulled cards back into the deck afterwards. If you notice that you are getting a lot of cards from previous readings, and they aren’t making much sense, it might be time for a good shuffle.

What to do: If your deck is new, you’ll want to spend several days shuffling and getting to know the cards. This will mix up the cards enough for you to actually get messages, and help you become more familiar with the imagery of the deck (which will improve your intuitive readings).

⭐️ If you deck isn’t new, it’s likely that you just haven’t shuffled well enough in between readings. It happens. Just give them a good shuffle, and you’ll be set.

2. You don’t know the card meanings well enough.

⭐️ Wait! Don’t get upset yet! I’m not saying that you have to memorize the traditional meaning of every card, and use only that definition as the “be all, end all” of card interpretations. Far from it! That would be super boring. I’m also not saying that you can’t use the guidebook (you totally can). In fact, if you use your guidebooks, you’ll be able to learn the subtle nuances that each deck author attributes to the card meanings. It’s pretty neat stuff!

⭐️ However, a basic understanding of your cards and their key meanings will help you read accurately with consistency. A big part of intuitive reading is being able to recognize the symbolism within the cards. If you know a keyword for each card, you can use them as a starting point for your interpretations.

⭐️ For example: Let’s say you have the 4 of cups. Traditionally, it shows a moody figure, staring off into the distance, with spilled cups before them. Above the figure is often some sort of offering that they can’t see. If you know that a keyword for the 4 of cups is apathy, you could use the symbolism in the card to read it as “having lost interest in a situation”. The figure feels apathy for the situation he’s in, and is not interested in what is being offered. That’s an example of the traditional, symbolic meaning of the tarot in action. Ready to take this a step further? Once you know the traditional meaning, you can combine it with other cards, as well as the details of the situation, to “springboard” into other interpretations.

⭐️ Example 2: Maybe you know that “apathy”, the traditional meaning of the 4 of cups, doesn’t completely fit. In this imaginary reading, the client is asking you about an argument they had with their partner. They are hurt and upset, and have asked you if it’s worth it to stay in the relationship. Clearly, they are not feeling apathetic toward the situation! In this case, we would go beyond “apathy” or “loss of interest”. What is the energy of this card? Combining the imagery with the traditional meaning, we can generate other meanings. Stagnancy, miscommunication and an inability to see another perspective are all alternative, non-traditional interpretations. In this situation, I might tell this client that there is some confusion between them and their partner. Neither one has a clear understanding of how the other feels. Therefore, it might be a good idea to discuss the current situation with each other once they have both had time to calm down. The surrounding cards will usually help you fine tune your interpretation.

What do to: There’s no way around this one. Study the cards. In particular, the imagery of your deck will be very useful to become familiar with. Read your guidebook, read other tarot books and blogs, journal about your readings. If books are not your thing, there are countless YouTube videos and podcasts that cover tarot these days. My favorite tarot podcast is Tarot bytes by Theresa Reed. Pace yourself. You don’t have to learn everything in a week. Most importantly, read, read, read with your deck. The more you read, the more you will begin to understand how your deck communicates and how your intuition picks up on this subtle energy.

3. You are too emotionally invested in the outcome of the reading.

⭐️ This mostly happens if you are reading for yourself, but it can also happen when reading for close friends or family. Sometimes, if we are hyper focused on a particular outcome or in a state of reaction, it’s easy to project our own personal feelings onto the cards. This skews the interpretation. Its not a bad thing to read for yourself, your family or your friends. However, it’s a good idea to keep this point in mind.

What to do: If you are nervous, upset or in any way unable to remain objective about the outcome, it’s probably best to not do the reading. You can try again later when things are calmer.

4. You’ve ignored the focus question.

⭐️ This happens when a reader fails to take into account the “focus” or theme of the reading. For example, if a client asks you about work, and The Lovers card comes up, you should not tell them that they will meet their soulmate soon. This has nothing to do with what they were asking about. You’re more likely to encounter this problem when reading for others, but it can happen when reading for yourself.

What to do: An easy answer, stay on script. Keep the original question in the forefront of your mind during the entire reading. Like our example above, if you are reading about work, don’t start interpreting anything about romance. The cards are nuanced and varied enough to have multiple meanings. Instead, if The Lovers card appears in a work related reading, consider how the energy of the card might show up within the context of the reading. Instead of a “soulmate”, you might say that this client needs to find a harmony and balance between their home and work life. This is just one of many possible ways to interpret this card within the context of a work-related reading.

5. You’ve asked a question that is too specific OR that the tarot cannot answer.

⭐️ This can happen with both self-readings and readings for other people. Tarot is a powerful tool of self reflection and insightful divination, but it is not omnipotent. Further more, tarot readers themselves are not mind readers. We have to have context and understanding in order to see the connections clearly enough to interpret them with accuracy. With tarot, the more context we have about a situation, the better a reading will be. So for vague questions like “what will happen next Tuesday?”, a reader would need to supplement the reading with their intuitive abilities. It can be done, but the chance of misinterpretation is much higher if a reader is unsure how to weave the tarot and clair senses together.

⭐️ Some types of questions are ill-suited to tarot. Generally speaking, these would be questions that limit the ability of the seeker to act. “Will I pass my exam?” would not be a good question because it leaves no room for change or growth. A reader might struggle to interpret this correctly unless they are very experienced.

⭐️ Another type of question that you might see a lot are third party questions. For example: “Is person A having an affair with person B?” This type of question that doesn’t directly involve the seeker in any way is not useful with tarot. Most likely, you won’t get a clear answer or any useful information. Tarot is not a tool to be used to spy on others. In fact, it’s quite disrespectful to use the cards in this way.

What to do: A lot of this boils down to personal preference and reading style, but a good rule of thumb is to ask open ended questions. In this sense, questions that begin with “how” or “what” will be better than questions that start with “is”. Remember, tarot does not deal in absolutes. It reflects energy of situations and projected futures, and energy can change. Nothing is 100% certain with tarot.

[jackiesarch]

— CHARACTER ENNEAGRAMS

tagged by my beloved @preachercuster @quentinbecks @chuckhansen @florbelles @indorilnerevarine @shellibisshe and @belorage to take this enneagram quiz for my clowns — thanks y’all!

tagging @queennymeria @shallow-gravy @gendameron @cameronburke @johnnycranes @blissfulalchemist @loriane-elmuerto @chyrstis @shadowglens and anyone else who wants to give it a go!

— TYPE 6 | THE LOYALIST

Sixes are often called Loyalists. They get their name from the fact that they are the most reliable, faithful and, you guessed it, loyal of all types. They are dependable, steadfast, kind and graced with a witty sense of humor. Sixes are the guardian angels and careful sceptics of this world, always prepared and always thinking ahead. They care about the common good and often see what the rest of us are blind to.

Sixes are very capable and competent. They put a lot of work into honing their skills. They work hard and take their time doing things the right way. Despite their worries about potential disasters, they are actually very courageous and competent when in a crisis. On the flipside, Sixes initially find it hard to trust people and can’t get out of their head, thinking about what could go wrong at any second.

— TYPE 2 | THE HELPER

Twos are warm and affectionate people with a lot of energy, which they invest into the people they love. For Twos, everything is relational. They view the world through the needs and desires of other people, having super fine antennas to pick up other people’s needs and what they can do to meet them.

It’s not hard for Twos to be popular with many people, because they make them feel cared for and accepted. What most people don’t know is that the Twos in their lives are often giving much more than they should while pretending to be a-ok. Twos take pride in being-there for others, but they have a hard time acknowledging that someone needs to be there for them, too.

— TYPE 3 WING 4 | THE PERFORMER/INDIVIDUALIST

Threes with a Four wing find aspects in their personality that seem to almost contradict their basic personality type. See, Fours are all about authenticity, while Threes are chameleons that can change colors deliberately to blend in. How does this work?

Well, actually, the main effect a Four wing has on Threes is to steer their focus away from purely personal qualities and more towards their work and career. Where Threes with a Two wing go all-in on shining in their relationships, the Four wing often leads to a bigger emphasis on their profession, their craft and materialistic pleasures. These Threes still want and need to make the right impression, and more importantly: to have their projects succeed. But the self-reflective, introspective nature of the Four can clash with this goal. It’s hard to project an image that hopes to please while you have a voice in your head calling you a phony.

— TYPE 8 | THE CHALLENGER

With a natural confidence and the charisma to get things done as well as their disinterest in taking no for an answer, Eights often automatically end up in positions of leadership. They find it easy to take care of things nobody else would, and are honest and upfront in their communication.

Eights have the ability to inspire strength and endurance in others and can push through things that other people simply lack the will, energy and grit for. But their straightforward all-or-nothing approach often intimidates other people, and it’s hard for Eights to admit they’re wrong and respect people that aren’t as tough as them.

The message Eights internalized during childhood was that the only people they could truly rely on were themselves. If they showed any weakness, life would beat them up – literally or emotionally. This gave them the perspective that it’s a “dog-eat-dog world” where only the ones with power survive. Eights from thereon lock away the frightened and scared inner child that lives in all of us and put on a tough layer that makes them appear invulnerable

[moonyblackwerewolf]

Betrothed Ch. 1 - Sirius Black

Sirius Black x fem!Reader

Word count: 2.653

Summary: Sirius and Y/N meet at a family dinner and have some fun, later she finds out she is betrothed to some pureblood boy so Sirius comes up with a mental idea to save them both. 

warnings: Kissing, hints of sex, 'aggressive' parents, underage drinking, idk my writing and English? lol

a/n: so this is just an idea for a possible series!! i never published anything before so i’m kind of scared but i really hope you like it!! :) xxx

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch. 2.5 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch. 5 

(not my gif)

Diner party

The Royal Manor of Watson was a cold palace, stone walls, rich decorations, sumptuous, but intimidating. The Watsons were cold people, living in a house too big for five people, but Y/N thought it was only fitting, since her parent’s ego was as big as the manor itself. Their pureblood mania deep in their minds, untouchable, which made their daughter’s life miserable. They were the perfect family on the outside but rotten in the inside, three children, Diana, two years older than Y/N, beautiful, smart and most importantly just as purist as their parents and William, tall, handsome, sophisticate and serious, he was the older sibling, three years older than Diana, he was already working with their father on the Ministry of Magic, daddy’s favourite. Home was big, impressive, a dream home if you saw it, libraries, uncountable bedrooms and living rooms, ball rooms, huge gardens, and everything you could ask for but it was far from being a welcoming home.

Though, all of her miserableness went away once she first went to Hogwarts. Of course, being sorted in Slytherin and having good grades was minimal when it came to living up to her parents’s expectations, which were high and if not complied there would most certainly have severe consequences, but still Hogwarts was more of a Home than the Watson Manor ever was. 

Throughout the years, Hogwarts had become her first true home. There she felt the warm winds, the familiar feeling in the great halls, friendships, all she ever hoped for was there, a home, but not quite yet. She met Elizabeth Greengrass a blonde, tall thin girl with deep grey eyes and enviable beauty, Katherine Abbott who looked almost like Diana, but shorter, longer darker hair, blue-green eyes and thiner face. The three girls became best friends right after being sorted into Slytherin. Later on her second year she met Elijah Lestrange, through her sister, he was a year older, handsome and had a polite appearance. Y/N loved her friends but they shared the same blind beliefs her parents do, she’d always nod when they talked about mudblood, choosing not to create conflict, she couldn’t help but feel a little out of place, her parents couldn't disagree more, controlling they way they were, they were more than satisfied to know that their daughter’s inner circle contained only close family friends’s children.

The Marauders were quite famous for their pranks since first year, Y/N always admired their courage and wit, but her siblings and friends didn’t share the same opinion. When she was around them she’d always get a look from her sister, her brother or her friends would push her away, which only made them more interesting. Although, with time, she stopped trying and just kept living her life the way her family wanted her to.

Until summer break before 5th year, at least. 

By then Sirius had already gained his bad boy reputation. Y/N had known Black for a long time, only by sight, his family was friends with hers and his cousin, Narcissa, hangs out with her sister, she’d see him in the pureblood elite parties they were forced to attend, they’d exchange glances but never talked. Sirius was once again being forced to go to some snobby party from snobby people. He couldn’t count in a thousand hands how many other places he’d rather be, but there he was sitting in a huge room full of people he despised, until a certain girl he recognised from other dinner parties and Hogwarts caught his attention, she was Remus’ partner in DADA, though he wasn’t sure, he never paid much attention in classes, pranking the student body was much more entertaining.

She caught his eye from a couch across the room. She was stunning, he thought, her slightly wavy H/C hair matching her S/C skin, freckled rosy cheeks and her alluring E/C eyes. Sirius only hoping she was different from the other brainwashed people in that house.

“Hey” Sirius said softly while he approached the girl that was, apparently, just as bored as he was, to his luck. “Not your scene, love?” He asked with his signature smirk on his face, wanting some good company for once at these afternoons.

“Not really” she chuckled, not knowing exactly what else to say, they weren’t close and she was a bit shy. But she was being honest, these parties were hell, full of families who thought too much of themselves, she didn't feel much like them, but she could fit in she was quiet and not nearly as loud as Sirius was about her beliefs. No one knew. 

“By any chance would you know whose death palace are we on? I mean it’s huge but it looks like Salazar himself lived here, it gives me the creeps” he paused laughing “and my house it’s not a Hufflepuff common room or anything” Sirius said mockingly, not knowing exactly who he was talking with.

“Well” she chuckled awkwardly “It is my parents’, but i know, it’s not very homey, looks like a dark theatre or something and Salazar did live here, family heirloom” she laughed for real this time, she didn’t take it as an offence, if anything she couldn’t agree more.

“How come we never crossed each others path before?” Sirius asked wondering why they never talked on one of those parties or at school.

“I guess I usually just stay in the corners, like today” she chuckled.

The two of them bonded after talking for a while, they discovered that both of them hated these things, Sirius couldn't get how she managed to hide her feelings so well, she looked so much like them. After laughing, talking about school, Sirius was a part of the infamous marauders, telling stories and joking around, for the first time any of them could think of, they had fun in a family party, since Sirius’ friends weren’t pureblood except for Potter but his family had been banished from the sacred twenty-eight for being “blood traitors” and Y/N’s friends’ parents kept them at their side the whole time for “good image”. 

Y/N stole a bottle of fire whiskey from the cellar and started showing the house to Sirius, while the two of them drank more than their bodies could handle, who was just as pleased as her for making fun of the paintings and carpets and the fancy but useless stuff their families valued so much. As they entered a room, particularly big and empty, Sirius had to catch his breath, Y/N and him started running through the halls before entering the room they were now on. He had only now realised that he had grabbed her hand, and apparently she hadn’t noticed until now too, making her blush furiously, releasing each other’s hand quickly and Sirius teased.

“getting comfy are we?” He smirked, as she blushed at his comment. They were very close, he could feel her breath catching. “Where would we be now, love?” He asked inching closer to her.

The both teenagers weren’t thinking straight anymore, the alcohol in their system already influencing their emotions. All they could think about, was how their touch felt electrical and the magnetic pull they were feeling towards each other, wondering how would their lips feel like. They just wanted to have fun, not caring about consequences that moment.

“Ball room” she said innocently but still a bit teasingly, not backing away from him as he inched closer to her “East wing, third floor, far away from where the party is going on, on the first floor” she bit her lip “But still very close to a room-” she said boldly wanting to see his reaction to her suggestions “-two doors away near a window at the end of the hall next to a beautiful painting of my favourite flowers” she said voice husky and breathy, making Sirius groan.

He chuckled low, “And may I ask you whose room is that?” They were now so close that their lips were slightly brushing.

“Why don’t you take me there and see for yourself” she said feeling a flip on her stomach and with a swift motion he lift her up bridal style, making her shiver at the contact, but then laughed, his hand gripping her body and legs tightly as he followed her instructions to get to her room. Once there, he settled her down on her bed and admired the girl in front of him, lust in his eyes. She smiled and bit her lip, she knew Sirius’ reputation, only one night stands, he was a ladies man, but she didn’t care, she wanted him, the fact that her mother would murder her if she ever found out only made it all more exciting.

Sirius took a look at the room, it wasn’t dark as the rest of the house was, it was still sophisticated, but nicer, the detailed wood on the wall was white and, above, the wall it self was light lilac, the room had big windows covered by delicate curtains and even had a balcony, and everything matched between the lilac and whites tones, she had a few paintings and pictures, and flowers, probably fake but still beautiful, the same flowers as on the darker painting outside, her four poster bed that matched the couches by the windows had delicate semi transparent white curtains and her silk white sheets were under a soft lilac blanket, she had a lot of silk pillows with subtle embroidered details on the corners, it was certainly appealing he thought, a beautiful room fit for a princess. Then he was brought back to reality.

“Do you think our parents are wondering where we are?” He asked with a still semi amazed look, it made her laugh, she patted the sheets next to her, inviting him to sit, he sat closely to her and then suddenly she went to the middle of the bed, which was big, pushing his wrists and they sat there, her legs crossed.

“They probably are” she affirmed giggly, she hadn't let his wrists go yet, she was holding it gently. “But, they won’t find us here, even though it’s pretty obvious that i’d hide in my room. Mom and dad wouldn’t leave the party” She paused and laughed “And well your parents certainly won’t come up here to my room i guess” He chuckled at her commentary.

“Well, well, miss perfect pureblood daughter escaping a dinner-party with the rebel Black son, who’d have thought” Sirius said dramatically, she laughed at him.

“Guess this Black here is just a bad influence on me, or… I just put on a good facade” she said more serious this time, voice low, eyes fixated on his. Her hand tracing their way up his arm, his gaze fixed on her movements. “And the fact that if mommy finds out i brought a guy to my room, and that he’s in my bed with me, would make her go crazy, only turns me on” Sirius let a little breathy moan escape his throat.

When Sirius looked at her she was already looking at him, lust all over her eyes. He trailed off just a little and asked, voice low “Y/N… are you sure you want this?” She nodded so he grabbed her waist and pulled her to his lap, he was holding her waist, lips brushing, he finally kissed her, the kiss felt electrical, it was slow and passionate at first but then I grew more heated. One of her hands was wrapped in his neck, the other was holding his chest going slowly lower, he was pulling her impossibly closer, the both couldn't get enough of each other. They had to pause for catching a breath, in the mean time Sirius leant over pushing Y/N down onto bed earning a tiny moan form her. They started kissing again, but this time was less passionate, more lustful and heated, Sirius started fiddling with her dress’ zipper and took it off slowly, undressing her, tracing kisses in each piece of newly exposed skin until she was only in her underwear, She, then, pushed his blazer off then started unbuttoning his shirt while kissing and sucking his neck making him moan. Once they were both in their underwear Sirius looked at her searching for a final consent, when she nodded, he took the rest of their clothes off.

“What do you want princess?” He asked kissing his way down from her cheek, to her jaw, neck, breasts and she moaned a little louder, the nickname turned her on even more. “Hmm??” He groaned waiting for her answer. “I want to her you say it”

“I… want you” she said between moans, after that she pulled his boxers down kissing him desperately, waiting to feel him against her in the most intimate way possible, the feeling was ethereal.

——————————

They laid in her bed legs tangled under the silk sheets, her head laid in his chest, his hands caressing her back while the other wrapped around her waist pulling her closer, making her shiver, the both of them catching their breaths while he stroke figure eights on her back inhaling her delicate floral floral scent. It felt heavenly to be there by his side, neither of them wanting to let go of one another, enjoying every moment before reality came back to them, but they knew they’ve been gone for too long, the party was probably ending.

“Sirius” she said voice as low as a whisper “This was nice” he smiled at her and pulled her to a kiss.

“Yes, it’s nice to have some fun in these events, and you love, are the most fun I could've had today” he said trailing his hand on her lower back “I mean, this is certainly the best place my parents could’ve dragged me to”. It made her chuckle. He never thought he’d fuck a girl his mother would approve and in one of their elite parties, but here he was, proof that Sirius Black always managed to corrupt girls, anywhere.

“Glad you liked it then” she said chuckling while she buried her head in his neck. But they couldn’t go on with this any longer. “You should go first” she said “Your parents are probably looking for you and it would be suspicious if we showed up together” she advised “Since the fact that we’re both missing from the party is already very much suspicious” she said laughing this time.

“Sure, love” he helped her get dressed before dressing himself and gave one last peck on her lips before getting out of bed. “See you” with a wink and that signature smile of his, he left, leaving her there with her thoughts about the events of this evening and the captivating boy, while rubbing her hands lightly where he left love bites on her neck, knowing she’d have trouble walking tomorrow and a bad headache from all the drinking. She decided it was best if she took a shower, changed into her pyjamas and if her parents show up there, she’d say she wasn't feeling well and wanted to sleep.

On his way back Sirius kept thinking about Y/N and how much they’re alike, she was the only nice person he met in one of those parties, she was a good kisser too. Starting to get confused on why he was thinking so much about the girl and the strange feeling she caused on him, but then assumed it was because of all the drinking, he didn't realise his mother, father and brother were waiting for him in the foyer and their faces weren’t kind, he knew it’d be a long night back home. But he didn’t care his only thoughts were about going back to Hogwarts and seeing her again.