#and maybe they should learn boundaries before they talk about stuff

[sinnabarmoth]

Tribute for the Dragon (7/18)

Pairing: Dragon|Sylus x Fem|Reader

Summary: You and Sylus exchange stories.

Content Warnings: Mention of past suicide attempt.

Length: 2k

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

Read on AO3

In the morning you went about making breakfast and found Sylus waiting there for you. You felt a bit ridiculous thinking back to last night and how Sylus had to carry you back to the room like you were a child. He seemed to do that a lot, carry you around. Always made you feel light as a feather too. No grunting or huffing, he just swept you up like you were an empty sack of flour.

“Morning,” he said.

“Good morning.” you came in and started cooking some breakfast. “Sorry to make you carry me back to the room last night. I really tried staying up till you got back.”

“And why was it you were so insistent on waiting till I got back?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you.”

“I gathered as much.”

You rolled your eyes. “I just wanted to apologize for going through your stuff and figure out where we stood. I know I crossed a boundary and poked my nose into something very personal to you.”

“If we’re making apologies then I have to apologize too.” he said. “I scared you yesterday. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t--”

“I could smell it. There’s no use denying it.”

You squared your shoulders and turned to look at him. “I wasn’t scared of you. I was more frightened about having been caught. Surprised really. Not scared.”

“If you say so.”

“If I was really scared of you wouldn’t I be stinking up the place right now?” you divided up the food onto two plates and set one in front of him. “Although, I will admit it unsettled me seeing you angry like that.”

“It shouldn’t be a surprise that dragons have tempers.”

“But I’ve yet to see it before yesterday. You’re usually very level headed actually.”

“I never had reason to lose my temper before. I regret that you had to see that.”

You waved it off. “I think maybe we should think of it as getting to know more about each other. You promised that we’d do that today. Get to know one another.”

“I did say that.” he pushed the meat around on his plate. “Alright, ask whatever you wish.”

And just like that, it was as if the previous day had never happened. You fell back into easy conversation. The best conversation you had ever had with him in fact. Over the next several days you kept having great conversations.

You learned a lot about him in that time, much more in depth than what you had learned already. A lot of your questions had to revolve around dragons and their culture. It was fascinating to hear everything he knew and it gave you a better understanding about who you were living with. Some of the things he explained to you included him taking you into the hoard room and explaining why he was attracted to certain treasures and not others.

Apparently while dragons all had a taste for treasure, their hoards were actually rather diverse. Most liked gold but there were some dragons that dealt only in gems. There are sea dragons who sometimes only collect pearls for their hoards. Sylus was one of the dragons that was attracted to gold but primarily he was attracted to gold coins in particular. He couldn’t explain why but the shape and plentifulness of it attracted him. Hoards could get cluttered with many large objects that get caught up in the mix and buried, by coins are small and can scatter. There is something in all the sameness he had said. That didn’t mean he didn’t like gems or the occasional other treasures but coins were his favorite.

He told you about dragon traditions, celebrations, species hierarchies, family dynamics, and special rites. You had never thought of dragons having traditions or parties before but it was nice to hear.

You liked especially when he told you about how hoarding worked in adolescent dragons, hatchlings is what he called them.

“Hoarding is a kind of instinct for dragons.” Sylus explained. “When you’re a child you don’t have the means to plunder castles and whatnot stealing treasure but you still want to collect something. So they’ll run around and collect little things like pinecones, feathers, bottles, that kind of thing.”

“Did you collect anything when you were a child?” you asked.

“Nuts.”

“Nuts?”

“Acorns. Walnuts. Chestnuts. Whatever I could get my hands on.”

You snorted. “Are you a dragon or a squirrel?”

“Har har, yes, I didn’t get enough of those comments when I was little.” his tail poked you in the side. “If you were a dragon as a kid what do you think you would have collected?”

“Me? Buttons.”

“Buttons?”

“Why not?”

“Certainly a new one. But it fits for you.”

In turn you told him about your own life. You told him about your childhood growing up with just your father in the village and how you had worked in his glass shop with him. You had pulled out the pendant your father had made for you before you left and showed it to him to see the kind of wonderful work he was capable of.

“It’s beautiful.” he held the charm up to the light. “What sort of flower is this?”

“It’s a moonflower, specifically a blood moonflower. They’re a rare breed of moonflower that grows in shades of red. Strangely enough they’re also the only ones that aren’t toxic.” you took the charm back, holding it close to your chest. “My favorite story growing up was actually about the myth of the blood moon flower.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know that one.”

“Want me to tell you?”

“Sure. Tell me a story.”

“There once was a little girl that lived in a small village. One day the village was attacked by foreign invaders and everything and everyone was lost, except for her. During the chaos of the attack she had ran as fast as her feet could carry her and went up into the mountains seeking protection.”

“Wait, this sounds familiar. A girl whose village is under attack so she flees to the mountains searching for help. Where have I heard this before?” Sylus tapped his chin.

You rolled your eyes. “May I continue?”

“Go ahead.”

“Anyway, the girl makes it to the mountain and starts to climb it. She climbs and climbs and climbs till her shoes have worn through and she has made it to the top. There she finds a huge empty nest with a patch of brilliant white moonflowers growing all around it. Inside the nest were dozens of huge feathers. The girl, being cold, decided to rest there and use the feathers as a blanket.

“The next morning she awoke to find the giant bird whose nest she was resting in had returned. She feared that this would be her end but the bird saw the blanket of feathers surrounding the girl and mistook her for a baby bird.

“For years the girl lived with the bird, eating the food the giant mama bird had brought and resting warmly under her feathered body during the long windy nights. All was well until one evening under the light of the full moon the mama bird had decided that it was time for the girl to leave the nest. The girl naturally did not know what to do since she was not an actual bird. She was liable to fall and die if she leapt from the nest.

“But the mama bird kept on pushing and pushing, edging the girl out of the nest. Without any other options the girl took the feathers of her blanket in hand and held them tight. The sharp ends of the quills dug into her palms and blood seeped from her hands. The blood that fell from her hands landed on the white moonflowers around the nest and when they did it created magic. The girl stared out at the starry sky and wished with all her might, and she jumped. The moment she leapt her wish came true and the girl was turned into a bird and she flew off into the world.”

You looked back at Sylus, “And that’s why blood moonflowers are red.”

“That is a fascinating story. I do not think such magic is actually possible but it makes a nice tale.”

“Whether it was actually possible or not wasn’t what I liked about it. I don’t know why but I found it comforting. It made me believe that even in a world where I’m backed into a corner there’s another way out, another way to do things. I don’t have to plummet, I might fly.”

“It’s a lovely message my little bird. I’m afraid the tales dragons tell do not have such heartfelt meanings.”

“What kind of stories do dragons tell?”

“You want to hear one?”

“Yes.” you scooted closer. “Please?”

“Fine. Fine.” Sylus sighed. “I have a story for you.”

You smiled at him expectantly. Sylus cleared his throat and stared off into the distance. “This story does not begin with a dragon. It actually starts with a human.” he said.

“A long time ago there was a human woman who had longed for a child. She went to every healer she could find but no matter what they tried, she remained barren. So, one day, she decided to seek out magic. Not just any magic, dragon magic. Said to be the most powerful of all.

“The woman had come into their land hoping to steal some of their magic for herself so she could have her child. The dragons asked her what she was doing in their land and when she told them she came to humbly ask for their assistance, they saw through her deceit. She had not just wanted a child, she wanted a strong one. She longed to give birth to a warrior that would bring fame and glory to her family’s name. That is why she truly came to the dragons.

“The dragons decided to punish the woman with exactly what she wanted. The elder of the dragon tribe plucked a scale from their body and gave it to the woman. They told her to eat the scale and that the magic within would make her fertile. And so the woman ate the scale and returned home. Soon after she became pregnant.

“Because she had eaten the scale though her pregnancy was no normal human birth. Instead of birthing a human child she had birthed a giant egg. She realized then that she had been cursed by the dragons and tried to destroy it, but the egg was too strong. Not with a hundred hammers could it be broken. So she abandoned the egg in the forest.

“The egg was found by some passing dragons and taken back to their land. When it hatched though, what emerged was neither human nor dragon, but some monstrosity stuck in a crossroads between the two.” Sylus’s face twisted, loathing you had not seen before etched into the crease of his brow.

You wanted to reach out to him but you were scared he’d stop if you tried to comfort him.

“The dragons could not abandon this thing because it was of their kin, but they did not embrace it either.” Sylus said, his hands balling into fists, “The hatchling grew, neither a part of either world. So they decided to cut off their horns and their tail and go to live with the humans.

“For a while life with the humans was good, until his horns and tail started to grow back. He was driven out again. From town to town he went, cutting off his horns and tail over and over. When scales started to grow along his arms he scraped them off too. What no one knew was that every time he cut off his horns and tail the appendages were sinking into the earth, causing the land to fallow. Soon word had spread of a silver haired boy that would bring famine to your land if allowed to remain. Village after village he was driven out.”

Sylus had gone quiet again. The rage had swelled but smoldered into ashes before it could erupt. When he spoke again, he sounded weak and tired. “One day,” he muttered, “He came to a great cliff. Feeling he had nowhere in this world, he jumped. He fell and he fell…then, a pain exploded from his back. A pair of large webbed wings caught the air and he soared across the sky. Why it happened then he could not say but he thought perhaps it meant something. Perhaps there was a land yet that would accept him.”

For a long time neither of you said anything. Sylus was stone faced but the way his tail twitched from side to side let you know how he was really feeling. “This is a story that dragons tell their children?” you asked, quietly.

“It is.”

“Is it true?”

“What do you think?”

You lapsed back into silence. You looked him up and down, your eyes lingering on his horns. You brushed a hand through his hair. “Did it hurt?”

“What?” he looked at you out of the corner of his eye.

“Your horns. Maybe that’s why they’re so sensitive.”

He looked back out into the distance. “Maybe.”

You could not imagine what his childhood was like if that was what he had lived through. It was the most he had ever confided in you. You wanted to say something. Encourage him. Assure him. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he was not a monstrosity. You wanted to let him know that it broke your heart to hear what he had tried to do. You could not imagine being in so much pain and being so alone for so many years.

Words would not come. So instead, you pulled yourself into his lap and hugged him tight. His arms closed around you, holding you close to him. His tail even had curled around you, pushing you as close to him as you could get.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that but it did not feel at all long enough. One hug could not put all his broken pieces together. But maybe the fact that you embraced him at all let him know that he was not alone in this world. Not anymore.

[moccasins]

YES. EXACTLY

i've read the comic a million times, i basically have it memorized at this point. it's a problem. and he was kinda a jerk to life at the start too. he stumbled across her garden on accident and saw how much she disliked him and thought "you know what. i'll come here as often as i can" knowing full well how much she didn't want him to do that.

but as they started to get closer, he'd still mess up like that. she'd show him a beautiful bird and he'd tell her a story about crows eating a human alive and when she looks at him in horror is when he realizes "oh. that's probably not an appropriate story.."

he doesn't get social cues, he can't read a room, and the only stories he can tell are ones that are just disturbing. he's not a bad person, he's just never had the experience to learn what's ok and what's not. he was made and immediately thrown into his job, everyone hates him, and he hates them back. that's just asking for disaster.

and that's how he acts around gods. imagine how much of a disaster he'd be around mortals..

you know what. in afterdeath, nay, any ships involving reaper, any dynamics involving reaper, i need his status as a god to be realized more. and i don’t mean extreme shows of power (which btw i LOVE, especially if it’s nightmare getting his ass beat bc he lowkey deserves it), or the types of art where he’s the size of a tall building (which i also love)

i mean i need him to struggle with morals, with what mortals need to keep themselves alive and satisfied, struggling with figuring out what people normally do with friends or lovers, how to make them happy, forgetting to make them happy. i need him to break a social code that he just doesn’t understand because they don’t exactly have those kinds of unspoken rules in the heavens. i need him to do something that hurts someone he cares about by mistake, because he just isn’t used to what mortals need, how fragile they are (both physically and mentally) compared to him.

things just don’t apply to him and the other gods the same way they do to everyone else. and i want that shown more. i want him to struggle with social etiquette because the only people he really talks to also struggle with that because they are gods, not people. they don’t live in a society 😔

i need him to be blunt about loss, because he’s never felt it before (ASSUMING this takes place in either a version of reapertale where life doesn’t die, or he just never meets life). i need him to be inconsiderate and neglectful without realizing, because he doesn’t need to eat or drink or shower or sleep, he forgot mortals need to do that, and that mortals have emotional needs as well. he can’t just go to work for weeks on end and come back without warning, but he doesn’t get why for a while. time is meaningless to him, but painfully valuable to mortals.

he doesn’t see the day to day life of mortals (take a shot for every time i’ve said mortals jfc), only the end of it. he doesn’t grasp it. what i’m saying is make him a bit more like that one scene in steven universe. “can’t you just talk to me like a real person?!” “i’m… not a real person.”

i also need him to improve on this behavior after being informed, obviously not perfectly i mean in a realistic manner. i am not saying you should make him toxic. just clarifying. don’t make him an abusive prick or bad partner for no reason i just want his status as a god, confused about mortals (yet another shot) and their needs, to be used more bc it’s interesting

[traumasurvivors]

I see a lot of conversations surrounding consent and wanted to talk about it a bit.

When most people think about consent, they think about sexual contexts.  In reality, consent is important in non-sexual situations, too.  You need consent before you borrow or touch someone else's stuff, get in their personal space, or show up at their home.

When it comes to consent, it should be a freely-given yes. This means it is not threatened, guilted, manipulated or coerced in anyway. And silence is not consent. This means that things like "maybe", "I'm not sure" or even flirting are not consent. Consent must be a freely-given yes, and not what you assume is a "yes."

Another thing to consider is whether the person is capable of consent. If someone is high or drunk, they cannot consent. Children can never consent to sexual acts. And consent must always be informed, as in the person knows what they are consenting to.

Consent should also be for the specific thing you're about to do. Someone consenting to kissing does not mean they consent to touching or so on. Someone being in a relationship does not mean they automatically consent to anything else. Consent should also be for this specific time. As in, if someone has consented before, then that doesn't mean they consent this time. A person's comfort level may vary, or they just might not be up to something and that's okay.

With that said, sometimes people have different standards of consent in their relationship. And that's okay. For example, a couple may decide that in their relationship, someone doesn't need a "yes" every single time but is free to proceed unless someone says no. They've mutually agreed that it's okay to assume the answer is "yes". For them, they've decided their consent is 'no means no' instead of 'yes means yes'. Another example in a platonic relationship is that some friends might decide that in their friendship, hugging without asking is totally okay.

One example is that I have people in my life that are allowed to hug me without asking unless I ask them not to. My partner went to hug me when I was upset the other day, and that's okay because he has been told he can do so unless I say "no" and in this case, I did say "no" because I was upset. And he respected it, and we moved on. I let him know when I was up to being hugged again.

However, when agreeing to different standards of consent in a relationship, the same rules apply. It should be a freely-given yes to the new standards, and the person should be capable of consenting. They should also be fully informed of what they are agreeing to.

One last thing I want to touch on is that consent can be withdrawn at any time. Even if you're right in the middle of something.

Consent can be incredibly complicated, and if you are ever not sure, ask. There is nothing wrong with checking in and making sure someone is okay with the situation.

It's especially important to be careful in how you navigate consent with children.  Modelling healthy consent in non-sexual contexts with children helps them understand that their bodies are their own and they have the right to feel safe and comfortable, too.  It protects them from predators as children, and sets them up to navigate consent in healthier ways as adults later in life.

Consent for hugs is frequently ignored with children.  Many children are forced to give or accept unwanted hugs from family members and told they're being rude or unfriendly if they don't cooperate.  This teaches them that their bodily autonomy doesn't matter, and makes them vulnerable to sexual predators.  By allowing children to set their own boundaries around what kinds of non-sexual physical touch they are comfortable with, when they want to receive that touch, and from whom, it helps them learn to recognize and enforce their own boundaries.  Those skills are incredibly valuable later in adulthood when they begin to navigate sexual consent both with their own bodies and with the bodies of their sexual partners.

[strwbmei]

Matchup Event

Matchup for: @woman-simp

Matchups: Elysia, Lisa, Kokomi

Contains: maybe ooc, fluff, nsfw, alcohol consumption (lisa), mommy kink (lisa), impact play (lisa), whipping (lisa), tentacles (kokomi), guided masturbation (elysia), phone sex (elysia), underwater date (kokomi), possessive sex (kokomi), cunningilus (kokomi), marking (kokomi), dacryphilia (kokomi)

A/N: So, so sorry for taking so long! I think this is the longest thing I've written. I hope you like it!

Elysia

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ You two are so different, yet so similar at the same time! You complete each other's flaws in all of the best ways, and neither of you can imagine a life without the other.

: ̗̀➛ As much as Elysia wants to wrap herself around you and cling to you at any chance, she's very understanding with your boundaries when it comes to that sort of stuff. Besides, it'll only make your shows of affection that much more meaningful— or so, Elysia says.

: ̗̀➛ She'll definitely be holding your hand 24/7, though! Elysia would either drag you to every interesting thing she sees (mostly boutiques and small food stalls on the street) or squeeze your hand tightly if you're getting overwhelmed by crowds or loud noises.

: ̗̀➛ Elysia doesn't mind when you act "mean" to her. She can easily see through what you're doing, and in fact, she thinks it's cute! She'll act all dramatically hurt, but that's really only one of her many ways to "trick" you into giving her a kiss to make up for what you did.

: ̗̀➛ Whenever you're talking about your interests, Elysia is torn. She just can't decide if she should learn about them to match your enthusiasm or stay uninformed because you are extremely attractive in her eyes whenever you're explaining something you're passionate about.

Dates with Elysia are... spontaneous, to say the least. Most of the time, neither of you are prepared nor do you have anything planned. You and Elysia are just walking aimlessly, stopping across anything that piques your interest.

: ̗̀➛ You don't need to worry about cuddles— Elysia will gladly provide as much of them as you want, and more! She was a bit shy about it when you two first started dating, but now, you've accepted your fate as her personal pillow to hug, lay on, and hold as much as she wishes.

Even on your first date, you were only spending time together as usual before the elf suddenly asked you out. You had no time to prepare, but you would never refuse her. "Ooh, look! I didn't know they had such a cozy cafe in this part of the city!" Elysia suddenly exclaimed, hurriedly speed-walking to what seemed to be a small, homey coffee bar with your hand in hers. Before she can even reach the cafe, she's already talking about going there for your next date until she spots a small stall on the side of the road offering tarot card readings. And then someone selling animal balloons. And then a cute cat. It doesn't take much time until you're getting dragged from place to place. Elysia is like a small kid walking into a store with all of the toys they could only ever dream of, and you have to admit, seeing her all excited has your heart racing and blood rushing to your cheeks.

It's like she's seeing the world for the first time. And it is when she's with you— your presence somehow makes the world that much more of a positive and colorful place in her eyes. Normally, you'd be tired out of your mind from running around so much— and frankly, this is probably the most you've walked in a single day— but Elysia somehow manages to make even the most draining and mundane things enjoyable. You can't imagine wanting to spend your life with anyone else.

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Elysia is surprisingly more on the vanilla side. Sex for her is more about being vulnerable and open and showing your love for each other. Still, that doesn't mean she doesn't have any kinks.

: ̗̀➛ She's mostly into overstimulating and/or edging, whether she's the one receiving or giving. Being able to give and take away her partner's pleasure as she wishes gives her such a power trip. You're just so cute, all teary-eyed as you beg her to make you cum like you know she can easily do.

: ̗̀➛ Elysia isn't cruel at all, though! Sure, being edged for hours on end might burn, but she somehow makes the orgasm you'll feel by the end of it make all of it worth it.

: ̗̀➛ On that note, Elysia isn't much of a fan of rough sex. She wants to feel loved and safe during it, and she wants the same for you as well. The last thing she'd want is to hurt her precious sweetheart. Light choking and slapping are definitely on the table, though.

: ̗̀➛ Oh, and if you happen to mention that you'd let her use you any way she wants? Good luck because there's no way Elysia would have any need to masturbate when she has such a pretty girl willing to service her on those nights when she wants you most.

: ̗̀➛ Expect endless praise while you're having sex. You're just so beautiful and pretty and gorgeous in her eyes, and Elysia just can't shut up about it! It's not even a conscious decision— she's merely saying whatever comes to her mind.

For the first time in your relationship, Elysia is away. Far, far away.

Her job had an emergency and required her to travel for a week. It took many "fights" (aka Elysia refusing to leave your side, even going as far as to offer to somehow fit you inside of her suitcase), but you finally managed to convince her that what she wanted just wasn't possible.

It's only a week, after all. You've survived a decade or two being single; one week away from your lover isn't going to kill you. Or so, that was what you thought. As much as you didn't want to admit it, you had gotten used to her beaming smile greeting you first thing in the morning. Your days don't seem complete without her by your side. You were missing her. Badly. Hearing her voice only made you miss her touch even more, and the elf was quick to pick up on that. What you had intended to be an innocent phone call quickly turned into Elysia telling you with her voice smooth as honey how to finger yourself. "That's it, pretty girl... You're doing so well for me, aren't you?" You nod, even though you're aware that Elysia can't see with the camera's position. As your fingers start speeding up, she can tell you're close to orgasm. "Turn the phone up, hm? Let me see your face as you cum." As your facial expression contorted with pleasure, Elysia wouldn't want anything more than to come home right this second and give you orgasm after orgasm. Being able to make you cum without even touching you might just be her proudest achievement. "I miss you so bad, baby... I'll make it up to you ten- no, a hundredfold when I get home." She sighs. With most people, you'd think this would be an exaggeration, but Elysia isn't just "most people." She's completely serious, and you know that she's more than capable of fulfilling that promise. Just a few more days. A few more days, and you'll be able to spend as much time together as you want. After all, you missed her too.

Lisa

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ This librarian thinks you're the cutest little thing in the world, and she doesn't hide it in the least. Your walk? Lovely. Your sneeze? Adorable. Your eyes? Absolutely delightful.

: ̗̀➛ Lisa isn't crazy for cuddles, but whenever the two of you sleep in the same bed, she's the type to pull you back in for them as soon as you try to get up. If you're a morning person, that's too bad because you don't have any choice but to stay huddled up with her until she eventually decides to wake up.

: ̗̀➛ She calls you a bunch of terms of endearment, mostly using "cutie," "sweetheart," or "darling." At first, this was only Lisa's way of showing her love, but after seeing your flustered reactions, she practically abuses these just to see you blush. She knows the effect she has on you and she takes full advantage of it.

: ̗̀➛ Whatever you're interested in, Lisa is knowledgeable about. She'll easily match how fast you're talking, as she's also just as excited as you are. Conversations where she can talk about these niche topics are rare, and it can't get much better than having them with her favorite person.

: ̗̀➛ Afternoon tea is Lisa's way of rewarding herself with a few minutes of leisure, and she always has them alone. Her inviting you to join her is basically her telling you that just you being there is enough to put her at ease. She'll often play with your hair, running her fingers through your scalp while reading a book.

: ̗̀➛ Lisa prefers to keep her desk mostly clean other than a some books and a tea set, but over time it's gotten filled with all the little gifts and trinkets you've given her. Now there are flowers that she takes very good care of and a framed picture of you two that she can't help but smile at.

Being the more quiet and introverted type, Mondstadt's library seemed to be the perfect place to relax. There are little to no people, and occasionally, you could hear who you assumed to be the librarian humming almost inaudibly from the restricted section.

Whether you're into reading or not, there was nothing quite like listening to the soft voice of this mystery woman. It was hauntingly beautiful, as was her appearance itself.

Lisa was attracted to you, and she made that obvious with every chance she got. It didn't take long before she just decided to outright ask you out to dinner.

You were curious where she'd take you as there aren't many options in Mondstadt, but you didn't expect her to invite you to her house. Most of all, you didn't expect her to take you there as soon as you said yes, but hey, it's not like you have anything better to do anyway. At least, nothing better than having dinner with such a gorgeous woman. Her house is almost as elegant as she is with the classy, yet also cozy furniture along with the relaxing ambient lighting. It's not very organized, but she keeps it clean. The whole place, down to the smell (which was very good, by the way) just screamed Lisa. She'd do mostly everything by herself like lighting the candles and setting up the table, but she'd gladly accept help for the more complicated and time-consuming tasks like cooking. The food is great, and the atmosphere is romantic. You're honestly surprised since Lisa doesn't seem to be the type to put this much effort into dates. Or anything, for that matter. Even her table manners are perfect down to the smallest details. "The night is long. Allow me to use this time to get to know you better, sweetheart." Lisa smiles, pouring you a glass of finely aged wine. As you see your own reflection in the glass, you get the feeling that tonight is going to change the direction of your life.

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Oh, she's freaky freaky. Instead of asking what she's into, it'd be better to ask what she isn't. She's dominant both during sex and outside of it.

: ̗̀➛ Lisa can be gentle, especially if it's your first time, but if she knows that you can take it then you will take it. Expect to wake up with your body littered with whip marks and hickeys. She generally tries to avoid spots that often show, though.

: ̗̀➛ She'll combine the dirtiest words with the sweetest voice, teasing you for being so filthy and desperate while calling you her sweet angel. She loves seeing your mind turn into mush from the mixture of praise and degradation.

: ̗̀➛ Has a huge mommy kink. Calling Lisa that is a surefire way to get her to bring you to the bedroom and fuck you. Or any surface and location works, really. She's not picky.

: ̗̀➛ Doesn't use strap-ons much. Lisa thinks they're a hassle to put on. She's more than capable of making you squirt with a few careful movements of her tongue and fingers anyway. If anything, she'd much rather use a double-ended dildo or make a strap using her electro vision.

: ̗̀➛ She's an absolute god at aftercare. Massages, refreshments, a fresh bath... anything you can think of, Lisa is prepared to provide, especially after a particularly rough session. You somehow end up feeling lighter and more energized than you did before having sex.

"Already so wet for me, and we haven't even gotten started yet." Lisa chuckles darkly, whipping your ass. The pain makes you yelp and arch your back even more.

As much as you want to grip the sheets, your hands are bound together tightly behind your back. All you can do is squirm and whine helplessly in Lisa's grasp, and you love it. She knows that you do.

"Yeah? You enjoy being a filthy whore for Mommy?" Soft hands gently rub over the spot she had just whipped almost apologetically, until she harshly slaps the same area.

Her free hand grabs onto your hips, and you hear electricity crackling behind you. You don't have to look to know what she's going to do next.

"Do you want it inside of you?" Lisa asks, her tone almost mocking. It's more of an order rather than a question, really. She already knows what your answer is going to be, she just wants to make you beg for it.

"Please, Mommy... I swear I'll be your good girl, so plea- mmpf...!" Your words turn into a moan as you feel the tip rub against your clit, electricity coursing throughout your whole body.

"So cute when you beg all nice for me..." Lisa coos. Her strap is warm and big, the electro making it feel as if it were vibrating as it bullies itself inside of you.

"You know that Mommy can't resist cute little bunnies like you."

Kokomi

╰┈➤ SFW ;

: ̗̀➛ You two are the type of couple to generally just enjoy each other's company, no matter what you're doing. There's no need for words, just your mere presence is enough to provide her with respite.

: ̗̀➛ That said, Kokomi shoulders a lot of responsibility as both the Divine Priestess and supreme leader of Watatsumi Island, often leading to her spending an ungodly amount of hours working. She's very apologetic about not being able to spend much time with you, and she appreciates it a lot whenever you visit her in her office. You often end up massaging her shoulders as she takes a much-needed break.

: ̗̀➛ If Kokomi has the time, she'd much rather take a stroll through Watatsumi Island with you. Taking in the beautiful scenery and clearing her mind with you by her side is no doubt her favorite way to relax after a hard day's work.

: ̗̀➛ Like you, she's not big on PDA in public— just for different reasons. Kokomi is aware that she may have enemies lurking in the shadows even after the Shogun's Vision Hunt Decree, and she doesn't want her beloved to get hurt because of her selfishness.

: ̗̀➛ If you're feeling down or tired, Kokomi would make little water replicas of your favorite animals and sea creatures. Sometimes, she'll even make them do little tricks to cheer you up. It's hard to control her vision so precisely, but it's all worth it once she sees your eyes light up again.

: ̗̀➛ The biggest reason why Kokomi fell in love with you was because you don't put her on a pedestal like everybody else. They always expect her to be able to do mostly anything when in reality, she's just a normal girl. Her hands also shake whenever she's about to give a speech, and she also sometimes feels like giving up whenever she sees the pile of work on her desk. It's only with you that she can be vulnerable because only you see her for who she truly is.

"Lian," Kokomi called out to you, rubbing a pattern of soothing circles onto the back of your hand. "Don't worry. Everything will be alright." Her voice gives you the courage to open your eyes once more, and you're met by the sight of all of the sea creatures you thought you'd only be able to dream of seeing this close. The whole experience was like something from a fairy tale with how magical it was.

Kokomi loves listening to you talk about the things you're passionate about! She's always eagerly paying attention and taking note of everything you say, already thinking of date and gift ideas. Hence why she had this idea for your first date. As Kokomi stepped into the water, it separated and diverged as if to make way for her. "Shall we?" She turned to face you, offering her hand. You don't know what you were expecting when she asked to meet by the shore, but it wasn't this. Still, you believed in Kokomi. You always have and you always will. The smile she wore at this moment was different from all the forced ones during those business meetings you know she loathed. It was a smile that, without any words, told you only one thing: "Trust me." You take her hand. The water formed a bubble around the two of you as she led you further into the sea. It didn't take long until the two of you were completely underwater.

You take a deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut. Honestly, you were scared, but as long as you had Kokomi by your side, you knew that you'd be safe. She wouldn't let you come to harm.

Bioluminescent jellyfish lit up the waters. Sunlight shone through the surface of the sea, its light dispersing to make everything look that much more beautiful. Resplendent corals decorate the sea floor beneath you. Soon after, a school of the most colorful fish you've seen started swimming circles around you two. The bubble you were in felt like it was in a different world, and with how you felt like this moment was the only thing that mattered, it may as well have been. Kokomi takes out a pearl necklace and speaks, her voice filled with utmost devotion and love, "Will you give me a chance to make you happy, my dearest?"

╰┈➤ NSFW ;

: ̗̀➛ Dominant switch, mostly tops. Sex with her is always about intimacy and/or claiming each other rather than just for pleasure, though that's also a big part of it. She's the definition of the phrase "treat her like a princess, fuck her like a whore."

: ̗̀➛ Lots of kissing and hand holding during it. It doesn't exactly give the two of you more pleasure per se, but she finds her hands seeking out yours to intertwine fingers. Both of you are much better at communicating through actions than words, anyway.

: ̗̀➛ If you make her jealous, you better start praying to Orobashi that you'll keep your ability to walk. Kokomi knows very well what the limits of humans are, and she's more than capable of bringing you to its very edge. This woman might look cute, but she is not to be underestimated.

: ̗̀➛ Tentacles. For everything. Restraints? Yes. Gags? Sure. Penetration? As long as you're up to it. She's particularly into tying you up with them: tight enough so you can't get away, but loose enough so she can still watch you struggle helplessly.

: ̗̀➛ She's probably the most sadistic out of everyone on this list. Kokomi doesn't want to hurt you physically, but whether she's topping or not, she'll edge or overstimulate you to the point you're crying for mercy. Seeing tears run down that pretty face of yours just does something to her.

Slimy, translucent tentacles wrap themselves around your arms and legs, effectively immobilizing you. For some reason, the grip they have on you feels... rougher than usual.

Kokomi walks towards you with a smile, but it's neither warm nor inviting. If anything, it was similar to a predator looking down upon its prey. Sensing something was off, you were about to ask when a tentacle covers your mouth.

"Shh... I'm sorry, my love, but I need this." Your legs are spread involuntarily, and she brings herself face to face with your weeping cunt. A messy mixture of kisses and bites are left along your thighs before she dives her tongue head first into your folds, lapping you up like a starved man.

You want so badly to close your legs, but you can't. You can't even moan her name. You can't do anything. All you can do is let out muffled moans and cry as you're helplessly brought to orgasm after orgasm.

Really, she feels bad for this. Kokomi trusts you, but she just needs to convince herself that you're hers. That only she can make you squirt until you genuinely feel like you're going to pass out if you cum one more time.

That doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy it, though.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey sex witch!

I’m in my first relationship and neither my bf or I have had partnered sex. We both come from evangelical purity culture backgrounds. I’ve done years of work on educating myself and reconnecting with my sexuality. We’re both on the same page that we’d like to have sex. But I recently realized (after months of dating) the extent to which he is not in the same place as me.

He hasn’t done much at all to discard his sheltered upbringing. He admitted he knew very little about sexual anatomy or how arousal works. He has a hard line that we don’t do anything sexual that involves genitals until he isn’t freaked out by the idea. Obviously I’ve respected that boundary and I sympathize with it, but the idea is that we’ll get to that eventually.

I’ve asked him to do the self-work required to get us both to where we want to be sexually, but he gets weirdly defensive about not knowing stuff and really isn’t making any progress on educating himself or getting more comfortable with his sexuality. I recently told him that I don’t feel very secure in his seeming lack of curiosity and initiative in this area and he took it pretty personally.

Is it reasonable that this has shaken my faith in the relationship? Should I keep waiting for him to get it together? Do you have any good resources that cover basic sex ed for adults, or talk about dealing with sexual shame and self-image?

Thanks for all you do on this blog (Batfam takes included)!

hi anon,

I remember reading this right before I took my little inbox hiatus and really looking forward to answering it, so thank you for your patience.

based on the information I have access to, it seems seems like there's a definite need for a check-in here. if the current understanding in your relationship is that there are certain places where you're paused barring certain criteria being met - you would both like to have sex, but he needs to get to a place where he's able to engage with that comfortably - and he's not doing anything to meet those criteria, then that warrants a conversation about where exactly he feels like he's stalling out.

seeking out new information can be daunting, especially if it's information that someone feels like they're "supposed" to already know. it can be embarrassing and shameful, and having that lack of information pointed out can compound that embarrassment.

it might be fun for you and your partner to start seeking out information together. you could watch Lindsey Doe's Sexplanations videos to start nailing the basics of anatomy and arousal, or check out a lighthearted and bingable series like Sex, Explained, How to Build a Sex Room, or the Principles of Pleasure to get sex into the conversation in a way that's low-pressure and fun. maybe you could even start a book club - maybe something like Ruby Rare's book, Sex Ed for Adults?

of course, if all of this leads to a whole lot of nothing and your boyfriend remains uninterested in learning alongside you, it may be time for a serious conversation about the future of your relationship. it's all fine and good if he's a reluctant learner and isn't ready to have sex quite yet, but you also have the right to move on when things are moving at a pace that's gotten to be too slow for you and is no longer meeting your wants and needs.

[hugemilkshake]

https://www.tumblr.com/hugemilkshake/746976766494720000/httpswwwtumblrcomhugemilkshake74666492724104?source=share

I love a lot of those ideas...and actually now got ideas for a part 2:

Imagine if the ancients visit y/n after a while of y/n just staying mostly in bed...and it's so they can dote on y/n too and make sure they are relaxed and happy and can imagine a little add on if you want...based off the "freshly baked cookie" part...

Like at one point dark enchantress shows up and ancients prepare to fight buuuut turns out she isn't here to cause stress for y/n by causing a war...she is here to help y/n learn to walk! Like she is holding y/n up and letting go so y/n slowly learns to stand and when they get the hang of it...they make a fun game to make sure y/n is having fun and happy while learning to walk (and so various cookies can have a chance to hug y/n...you'll understand why when I say game. Also it's so cookies can show their love for y/n and vent out a little of their competition through a fun game...aaaand remind themselves to keep their fight for y/n on the down low because...again want y/n to feel safe and happy.)

The game? A play obstacle course where each cookie is a 'check point' where y/n simply has to walk up to them and give them a hug before going onto the next cookie...and like the cookies are cheering them on "come on y/n! You can do it!" Ofcourse having some cookies nearby so if y/n starts to stumble, they can rush up to y/n like "hey hey its ok its ok...you're ok, we are here for you!"

And can imagine at the end, the cookies are all super proud of y/n lol!

Oooor maybe you can make up you're own 'y/n learns to walk' game where cookies can be more...competitive...buuut ofcourse maybe they mask it behind playful banter and so on so y/n doesn't feel the stress of having cookies fight over them lol!

Sorry if I'm being too descriptive or if I Sounded weird or anything lol! Just got thoughts flowing lmao!

Enjoy the milkshake! Don’t worry about sounding too descriptive, it’s actually more helpful for me since I don’t have to think of a plot- also dark enchantress might be ooc

How do you walk?

Part 1, part 3

Self aware AU

-platonic-

“ … and that��s when Blackberry Cookie came over to calm down Onion Cookie! After that everything was fine!”

You rested in the bed as Gingerbrave talked about recent events, this was a weekly occurrence, you didn’t hate it! But you wished you could walk around and talk to more cookie besides Gingerbrave, Strawberry, Wizard Or Custard lll…

Gingerbrave got up to leave before saying one last thing “Oh and one last thing before I leave! The ancient Cookies are going to be visiting! They might come see you to try and help you with your problem”

Huh… that was new… some cookies who might be able to help you out… only issue was that these cookies are some of the strongest in this game, or well this world you should say. So you were nervous about that.

A week went by the ancient cookie finally arrived in the cookie kingdom

You were nervous, an even a little scared

I mean these cookies could kill you if desired.

And you couldn’t even walk! So you couldn’t do anything against them!

When the ancients arrived, Pure Vanilla was the first to come into the room, along with Gingerbrave.

Dark Cacao and Golden Cheese came in next, followed by White Lily and Hollyberry.

Gingerbrave introduced you since you couldn’t talk

Now the vibe was meant to be nice and friendly, but it just wasn’t

It was VERY awkward

Now all the ancients had different opinions on you

Pure Vanilla wanted to help you get better since you literally couldn’t do anything but you couldn’t talk so he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries

Hollyberry wanted to lighten up you mood, so she told jokes and it worked for a little bit

Dark Cacao was very unsure of what to think about you. He’s not good with stuff like this

Golden Cheese was a bit like Hollyberry in a way but her jokes didn’t land that much

White Lily was very fascinated by your predicament. She has studied cookies for a while and has never seen something like this happen before

And Gingerbrave was there to have things to a bit more smoothly.

But in the end you guys didn’t get anything done. You couldn’t talk so it was to be expected.

The ancients bid you a farewell and left along with Gingerbrave

You were now alone…

It was the dead of night and you were reading since you were so used to staying up late and not sleeping, it was something you were working on.

But unlike all the other nights, everything felt off. Like there was a lurking darkness around you, it kinda give you anxiety.

No… not kinda…

It did give you anxiety.

You were reading when you heard your door open, and you saw a figure that resembled White Lily

You greeted her…. At least you thought you greeted White Lily…

When the figure responded, if definitely didn’t sound like White Lily

The figure stepped into the light and you froze in fear

Dark Enchantress was right in front of you

Now you were used to stressful situations but this was different

You were actively in danger.

You were going to scream before the sorceress shushed you

“Don’t scream. Im not going to hurt someone as pathetic as you.”

Ouch… but you weren’t in danger so that was good..?

Dark Enchantress told you that you needed to get up and walk. And without warning she pulled you up and got you to balance yourself

“Your not going to survive if you keep being babied by cookies. Now I’m going to leave you. Next time I see you, you better be able to walk”

And just like that she left.

You were left confused and started

And needless to say the next day Strawberry Cookie came into the room she had a heart attack since you were standing.

[crabcollectorskykid]

" What's behind that mask? "

Request: Hello if your starting request- I'll like to put, could you make where moth!reader has been living with the sully, Jake and neytiri are comfortable with moth!r so they let moth!r play around them, like chase their tails, help around{but they could only pick a few small sticks}, maybe when they eat, moth!r only eats alone because I think under the mask they wear, they have very sharp teeth!!

Sully family x moth!reader

Warnings: none

Genre: fluff

Pronouns: they/then

Whoops, accidentally posted this one so I had to hurriedly remake it..but the story will mainly focus on them trying to figure out what the moth will look like behind the mask or atleast trying to take off the mask

Jake giggled a bit once he felt hands playing the tip of his tail, he didn't have to turn around to know who was playing with his tail. The very small hands already gave it away, it's been a few months since the moth started to live with them; needless to say the family started to enjoy the little one's company especially Tuk since she found a new playmate. Day by day the moth started to adapt habits that the family are curious about.

-

For example, they are more affectionate. Giving hugs and high fives. Their cape started to have more stars, they also constantly avoid rain and will sulk if there's rain. But one habit of the moth made the family really curious about is that, when eating the moth either turns their back when eating or go somewhere far away from them. The family knows their boundaries however they can't help but wonder what's behind that mask?

-

Soon after the sully kids went out to get some fire wood and carried the little moth with them much to the parent's demise, Jake and neytiri wanted to learn more about the moth but let the kids be since they also need bonding with the little moth. Neteyam was carrying (___) on his shoulders while the little moth looked around, eye gazing the gorgeous plants they had never seen before. They usually weren't aloud to go out because of their fragileness, they are very weak compared to the na'vis. They were like a porcelain doll to the sully and the fact the forest has alot of predators makes the sully family worried whenever the moth goes out.

-

"(___), are you okay up there?" Neteyam asked the little moth and they responded with a honk, the action made him giggle since he always find it funny that (___) can't talk and can only let out squeeks or honks. "We need to stop being so overprotective over them and toughened them up." Lo'ak complained, he had always try to toughened up the little moth but ended up getting scolded at the end, "Lo'ak they literally almost died because of the rain, if they are fragile with rain then I honestly don't wanna imagine if they ever get hurt badly." Neteyam answered.

-

"I agree with neteyam but it would be nice if we can atleast teach them some basic self defense" Kiri said taking the moth from neteyam and make them climb up to her shoulders so she can carry them, this action made neteyam act hurt saying how hurt he was for being betrayed like that and lo'ak just laughing his ass off. "Heyy, when is it my turn to carry them." Tuk complained, they have never carried (___) before and wanted to try but the older siblings always said that they might be too heavy for her.

-

"When you grow up big and strong, Tuk" Kiri said patting tuk's head to which Tuk giggled at. "Alright I think we gathered enough fire wood, we should hurry up before dad scold us again." Neteyam said him and lo'ak carrying the bag of fire wood on their backs "Wowww, thanks for your help kiri" lo'ak said sarcastically while kiri smiled and said a small you're welcome to which he scoffed at.

-

On their way to walk home they were talking about doing stuff on their freetime and exchanging embarassing stories to which they laughed at, (___) fell asleep on kiri's head and she giggled and cooed at them. "Awhh, look how cute they are when sleeping." She said, lo'ak observed the moth and said "I wonder if we could use them as a flashlight" he muttered but loud enough for the two to hear, "I doubt they can light enough, they glow but doesn't glow that much" while the two were arguing about it kiri observed the little moth who was now sleeping on her arms and not on her head.

-

"Don't you guys ever wonder what's behind their mask, I mean their eyes glow behind it. I've always wondered what their eyes or face looked like without it." Kiri said touching the mask lightly. The sully kids muttered in agreement about their curiosity, soon after lo'ak started getting closer "One little peek wouldn't hurt, right?"

He muttered his hand reaching towards the mask but neteyam's hand stopped him "no way bro, mom and dad will scold us for invading their privacy" he said telling them to hurry up walking so they can go back.

.

.

.

.

"...what are the kids doing.." Jake whispered to neytiri who was also watching the kids huddle in a group muttering "should we ask them?" Jake asked then neytiri agreeing with his statement "hey kiddos, uhm what are you guys doing?" He asked with curiosity hoping they aren't planning something mischievous "we're trying to figure what (___) looks like without a mask" Tuk said pointing (___) in the corner who was sleeping "shhh! Not so loud Tuk they might hear us." Lo'ak said shushing Tuk to which Tuk stuck out her tounge at him and lo'ak doing the same.

-

"lo'ak is doing a horrible job at illustrating" kiri said handing out the paper lo'ak drew an illustration on what he thought they look like, both the adults laughed at the picture while lo'ak tried to justify that it's a masterpiece "there's no way they have a third eye lo'ak and there is no way they won't have eyeballs" kiri said "then how come only white shows in their mask and what does the shape mean on the forehead of the mask?" He asked "it's probably just the design."

-

Neteyam said "what if they have no face." Neteyam said. The family was discussing on what they might look like when (___) was about to wake up because of the noise, Jake and neytiri shushed them before the discussion gets out of control.

-

Tuk crawled towards (___) hugging tightly and the moth returning the favor "how's your nap, kid?" Jake asked only to be answered with a honk, "neteyam come, help me make the food" neytiri said standing up, neteyam following after.Lo'ak and kiri quitely arguing.

.

.

.

.

The family watched as the little moth took their food and walked their way out the door, "...should we go?" Lo'ak asked, neteyam looking at Jake waiting for his approval to which Jake nodded. All of the kids went out of the door and chased after the moth, the parents sighing in relief "Finally peace." Jake said.

-

The kids watched the moth sat near a lake taking of their mask off and picking up their food to eat "see I told you, how can they eat if they don't have a face" kiri said to neteyam who was sheepish scratching his head, Tuk started to walk towards the moth while the teens were arguing soon after they noticed Tuk was gone and saw her approaching (___), they were whisper yelling to come back and to not blow their cover but she didn't listen instead she tapped (___) shoulder.

-

The teens covered their eyes out of instinct, silence passed by but was now interrupted by tuk saying wow and giggling. All three of them uncovered their eyes and was in awe also, (___) had a beautiful shade of bright yellow/(insert color) eyes and had white lashes, they also noticed how sharp their teeth were it was almost as if they were made to bite people.

-

(___) looked over at the teen who were hiding terribly behind a tree and waved over them patting the ground beside them, they hesitated but went to sit beside them anyways. Lo'ak was the first to break the silence "You have two eyes?-" lo'ak asked but was interrupted when neteyam hit his head hard "of course they do you idiot, how can they see if they don't have one?" Neteyam said dumbfounded nyyhus brothers question "well sorry I just wanted to ask them!" He shouted rubbing his head while (___) giggled but no sound came out of their mouth.

-

"i didn't know you had sharp teeth" kiri said looking at them with curiosity (___) opened their mouth so they can get a better view "you have tusks too" Tuk said excitedly "I don't get it, how can something looks so innocent but have horrifyingly sharp teeths" lo'ak said in disbelief. "How come you didn't show us your face before, you look pretty cool and great!" Neteyam complimented them (___) shrugged they honestly also don't know why.

-

"C'mon let's go back, you don't need to be afraid of showing us your face anymore. Besides it's more fun with you there eating with us" neteyam said, (___) smiled and hugged neteyam the other kids following suit.

.

.

.

.

"interesting." Jake said observing (___)'s teeth, neytiri smacked his arm "Jake stop that is rude to do" she said while Jake realised his actions and apologize, (___) smiled showing that it was okay "well then, (___) why don't you join us for dinner here with us from now on. Wouldn't want a family member eat alone now would we" he said, (___) nodded excitedly.

-

Let's say (___)'s bond with them grew stronger and stronger.

WOO IM DONE.

[ghostwiththeemost]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ FROM THE CRADLE TO CREMATION . . . DEATH JUST NEEDS A LITTLE CONVERSATION ~ !࿐ྂ

Hey babes~ seems ya found my blog! Welcome to my humble abode. You may be asking “who is this SEXY SEXY man?” Well I’ll tell ya! I’m Behjdbbdnf… Beejkbngd… Bug wine. 🪲🧃. Use the emojis babe. I can’t type my own fucking name apparently. How fucked up is THAT?! Ugh, anyway… Let’s get onto the real shit. I’m the boss bitch here, you should hire me to get some shitty humans out of your beloved home. Or, call me up to fuck. Either works.

Alright, alright. People put their info and shit so I’ll do just that. I’m 🪲🧃, but ya can call me “sexy” or “handsome” or “sweets” or “pretty boy” or anything ;)~ Kay, moving on! I’m the ghost with the most, the biggest dick in town babe. He/him, but I can also be your/yours~ ;) I don’t care for labels, I’m a sexual beast. You wanna talk? Talk. You wanna flirt? Flirt. Send nudes? Eeeehhhh… Probably not, sorry sweetheart. I’d totally say yes, but that’d get me banned.

Anything else? Yeah, a lot actually. Ask me about shit. I’m over 600 years old, I’ve seen a lot, done a lot, witnessed a lot, I’m the fuckin best. I mean look at me, I’m the coolest ghost in town! ;)~ Also the best dick. DEFINITELY the best dick.

Well well well! Quite Fancy seeing you back here! Yet ANOTHER wonderful roleplay blog, and even a BETTER character?!?!??!?!1 WOAHHHHH! Wowie!

Hi! I'm the wonderful mod behind this obnoxious green ghoul of a man, and I hope you can stay a bit, have a seat, chat a bit! Learn a bit, see some tags behind this wonderful super duper cool page, yakknow how it is!

The name's Dew! Dewey if you wanna be fancy, but nah, I'm just a guy on the internet here to write for his funny bug man. No formalities needed. The pronouns are HE/SHE! I'm Genderfluid and Gay!

Kay, mini bits of info here... I'm an adult! So that being said I'm going to keep a boundary on certain aspects such as some forms of nsfw and SOME ships. Mostly I don't care? I'd just prefer if you were to tell me or have your age in bio before deciding to imply nsfw ROLEPLAYS. Flirting or nsfw anons I don't really care about, it's bound to happen, but you get it. also beetlebabes dni you all SUUUUUCKKKK.

Let's see... I have some other accounts. @candycoffinss , @photographerstanheight , @screamingqueenxoxo ... Other stuff, we'll see what I reveal.

Right, right... Tags and extra info... |🪲| ~ 𝑴𝑶𝑫 𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑲𝑺! - This is me talking!! >:] |🪲| ~ 𝑩𝑬𝑬𝑻𝑳𝑬𝑱𝑼𝑰𝑪𝑬 𝑨𝑵𝑺𝑾𝑬𝑹𝑺! - Replies to asks, you know how it is. |🪲| ~ 𝑩𝑱’𝑺 𝑽𝑰𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑺! - call for interacts maybe?? |🪲| ~ 𝑩𝑬𝑬𝑻𝑳𝑬𝑱𝑼𝑰𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑨𝑲𝑺! - Random yapping he does, reblogs... etc. |🪲| ~ 𝑩𝑬𝑬𝑻𝑳𝑬𝑱𝑼𝑰𝑪𝑬𝑺 𝑯𝑨𝑼𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺! - Interactions Yeaaaaa

|🪲🔞| ~ 𝑺𝑼𝑮𝑮𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑽𝑬! - yea some things will be suggestive labeled just in case pleeease be cautious tyyy beetlejuice can be a menace.

ALRIGHT! FINAL BIT OF INFO!!!!! This writing of beetlejuice is a mix of everything, but I'm mainly leaning toward Justin Collette's version of Beetlejuice. He's still Beetlejuice of course, but keep in mind he won't be much like Alex Brightman if you're looking for an adaptation of him! (...There will be crumbs tho. Pathetic meow meow...) ANYWAY! Yeah, Just wanted to throw that out there, I didn't know if people would want my head for it LMAOOOO but YEAH!!! I'm free w any interactions btw. other fandoms, other blogs, movie characters, musical characters, do it !! >:] ok I think that's it... until I decide to go bonkers again. thanks for reading if you got this far! smooches ur forehead /p

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 11-- Doll/Heart

Saeyoung teaches you and Saeran how to make dolls (771 words). 

“What do you think, my love?” Saeran asks, holding up the mermaid plushie for you to observe. The hair isn’t quite finished yet, but otherwise, the toy is very well-made.

“Oh, it’s so cute,” you beam. It’s clear that Saeran has taken great care in sewing and stuffing his doll. You particularly like the iridescent fabric that he used for the mermaid’s tail. “I’m sure the kids will be happy to play with it once they notice.��� 

At the moment, the entire population of the orphanage is absolutely captivated by Saeyoung. As part of his volunteer work (now that he no longer works for the agency, he has a great deal of time on his hands, and has been putting the vast majority toward community service), he’s been teaching the residents how to carry out various crafts. This week’s lesson is in dollmaking, and Saeyoung invited you and Saeran to attend and help the kids gain courage in working at something so difficult. 

“I wonder where he learned to do this,” Saeran muses, carefully sewing the yarn hair onto his doll. He’s apparently elected to go for a rainbow of colors, which is sweet, but the task itself looks somewhat tedious, considering how often he needs to switch yarns.

“I overheard him telling the kids that he studied with Santa Claus at the North Pole,” you report. Your own doll is not coming along half as well as Saeran’s— the stitches were a touch uneven, so your attempt to stuff the vaguely heart-shaped plushie did not go over well. Right now, you’re focused on giving your creation a friendly face, so as not to scare the children.

“What?” Saeran laughs good-naturedly. “I never heard that before.” 

“It’s true,” Saeyoung materializes beside your table. For the benefit— and amusement— of the children, he’s speaking in his 707 voice. While he’s gotten comfortable existing just as Saeyoung around his family and friends, he’s much less confident around strangers, and occasionally defaults to his old persona. To his credit, this way of speaking does elicit lots of giggles from the kids. “I went there hoping I could train to become a Christmas elf, but Santa told me I was too tall. He agreed to teach me how to make toys, though, since he didn’t want me to be sad.”

A cluster of nearby kids giggles. “You should talk to Jumin about getting yourself a spot on the Children’s Network,” you advise.

“Does C&R… own the Children’s Network?” Saeran asks, adding a pink hair to the head of his doll. 

Truth be told, you have no idea, but you wouldn’t be surprised. “C&R owns most things,” you shrug. 

“They said I’m too tall for that, too,” Saeyoung pretends to lament. 

You snort, and Saeran giggles. “Maybe they could give the spot to me, then,” he muses, “I know how to make dolls, and I’m shorter than you are.” “Wow,” Saeyoung examines the mermaid, “Nice work, Saeran.” He then redirects his attention to your creation. “And MC… good effort.” You can’t help but laugh. “Shut up. Mine is cute.”

“If the kids don’t want it, I’ll take it home and play with it,” Saeran jokes. 

“Of course the kids will want it,” Saeyoung tells his brother off, “It was made with love.” 

“Thanks! How do you get the eyes to be the same size?” You ask, too focused on your project to internalize the compliment. 

“Mr. Saeyoung!” A child calls from across the room. “Could you show me how to do the hair again, please?”

“Oh, so cute,” Saeran observes quietly. You can’t help but agree. The kid’s polite phrasing is adorable. 

“You’ll figure it out, MC,” Saeyoung assures you with a pat on the arm. “I trust your creativity.”

“Okay,” you’re not so sure, but you know Saeyoung means well. “Thank you.”

When his brother is gone, Saeran turns toward you. “Would you like some help, my love, or would you prefer to figure it out on your own?” 

Saeran is always checking in like this, making certain that he knows what your boundaries are to ensure he doesn’t cross them. You really appreciate this about him. 

“Please help me,” you give him the biggest eyes you can muster. You really want to make a nice doll for the kids. 

“Of course, my angel.” Saeran sets down his doll— which looks like it’s almost finished— and reaches for yours. “I’ll show you what I did for mine. Then I’ll pull out the stitch and let you try it for yourself. Watch closely, okay?” 

You are so head-over-heels in love with this man. “Okay.”

[igglemouse]

I start off my day, a dreary and cloudy day, with my paper delivery route. I don't think I'll be keeping this job for long but I guess it shall do for now!

When I get home there's odd looking book just there on my coffee table. It has an unsettling presence to it, like it doesn't belong, and I can only wonder who put it here. I suppose I've allowed one too many magical beings into my home and so it could be any one of those. I should really learn how to set up boundaries my self.

Despite the off putting vibe of it I'm not going to just let it sit there and take up space and so I pick it up and am rewarded with a tingling sensation that trills through my fingertips. It didn't burn or hurt but...I do open it and quickly realize it is about vampires. Perhaps it belongs to Lilja? I'm not sure when she would have had the time to drop it off although it is a cloudy day so it is possible. I definitely think she is stalking me, that is what vampires do after all.

I'm not going to spend too much time thinking about it so I put the book away and slide into the shower to finally wash away the scent of today's work. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what I'll be doing with the rest of my day but there is still plenty of time left in the day to find something to do.

Around lunchtime the skies brighten just a little and since Niklas isn't here to cook for me it looks like I'll have to do it myself. Maybe I've been too reliant on that guy a little too much huh? Any way, I'll go with a chicken fried slider and honestly? Honestly, I think I do okay with it!

I spend a lot of my day playing games and so maybe you won't be able to expect much of me today. No magical stuff, at least, unless you count the book from this morning. You know, I deserve a nice, quiet, and normal kind of day for once.

As the day goes on and the sun begins to set, I retreat to my little work desk and start to craft new earrings! They are okay, like most things I do, and they are definitely not my best work, but who knows? Maybe someone out there will find value in them and throw simoleons my way?

I end the day with a call from Niklas, who goes on about how busy things are where he is that the situation, whatever that means, is getting wild. I have no idea what he's talking about but he does sound frustrated, I'm guessing it has something to do with the Realm? Before I can hang up he mentions how he'd like to get away from it all and I let him know that if he does I'd like to know. Maybe I'd tag along with him? Time will tell!

Episode List - Next Episode 3.5

[our-t4t-experience]

hi Evan! Big fan of what you do on your page. I very recently got a boyfriend who is also a trans man. Do you maybe have any tips on how I can make this relationship last more than a month? (Knowing my luck…)

-🦦(if I ask anything else)

there are some things that are in your control and some things that are out of them. its worth mentioning that if you have been abused before, its more likely that you will either perpetrate those behaviors, or on the flip side, allow people to perpetrate those behaviors against you

in my experience i have had a lot of unstable relationships where the instability wasnt necessarily caused by me (or me alone) as much as it was the other person being abusive to me and me letting it happen

so this advice IS coming from a place of "ive been abused," if this isnt applicable, my apologies

-communication is very important and remembering that people communicate in different (and sometimes incompatible) ways is also very important. you may be extremely direct and dating someone whos a little sensitive. you may want to de escalate an argument by being by yourself and they may want to talk about it. its important to be able to compromise sometimes and for them to compromise sometimes if your communication styles arent aligned. my girlfriend has to be very direct with me because shes learned that while we're both southern and she has learned to approach boundaries and conflict in a passive, sugar coating way, because im autistic, that approach doesnt work, for example

-how do you express love? how does your partner express love? its important to show your love in a way that is fulfilling to you, but its also important to show your love in a way that your partner receives it. ive heard mixed things about the "5 love languages" test but honestly i did the test and it was decently accurate and may be a good start, its also worth noting that neurodivergent people may also express love in different ways than the "norm"

-never stop dating your partner. yall like flowers? get each other flowers! go on cute dates! send each other memes that make you think of the other person! never stopping trying to impress your partner can make for a more fulfilling and exciting long term relationship

-time together, especially later in your relationship, is super important. distance can make the heart grow fonder (trust me, we're long distance lol) but you dont want to be away from them all the time. work and family obligations can make that hard, but having time to yourselves is important, me and caspian sleep together on the phone every night, and thats one of my favorite parts of the day

-specifically trans advice, but your trans partners transition should be a celebration. ive heard from one trans man that you should be responding to your loved ones transition like you would if someone was having a planned and wanted baby, and thats good advice. get excited! get funny with it! get romantic with it! my girlfriends excited for me to get top surgery and that makes me feel very good about my transition

(past this is longer term advice)

-i dont usually like those "3 weeks 3 months 1 year" rule stuff, but in my experience, you can usually tell if youre compatible with someone by 3 months. this is enough time for the "honeymoon phase" to chill out a bit and youre more receptive to their flaws. by some point you should be able to know if these flaws are a dealbreaker (unless youre like me and have a fawn instinct lol), and ive also found that i can tell when a relationship is unhealthy USUALLY by around 3 months, at least in my subconscious

-i knew i wanted to marry caspian by 6 months of us being together, and we're not getting married right now for a couple different reasons mostly boiling down to we're just not ready yet, but id recommend waiting 6 months before you start thinking seriously about a future with this person

-a rule ive had for a long time regarding marriage with anyone is that i want to have lived with them for a full year before we get engaged. i dont live with my girlfriend and wont until probably the end of this year (our 7 months os tomorrow!) but i have lived with a partner and have found that you can find out a lot about a person by living with them for an extended period of time

if i missed anything lmk, anyone else is also free to give advice in the comments (:

[tanglepelt]

Run Ghost Run - 14

prev master ao3

John Talks to Lady Gotham. Jason talks to Bruce. They have varying levels of success.

John was over the bat.

He just walked in silence. Com clicking away. No response after no response. Yet the man stayed silent. Looming in the shadows. Hell. It was annoying.

Not to mention Gotham as a whole. How he despised this city. He was very over Gotham, this town really stunk. Curses ran a mock in this city. Death gets trapped and corrupted here.

Only reason they didn’t run amock was due to the city's resident ecto-being lady Gotham. She managed to either absorb those stuck or shoo them out to be others’ problems. Lady Gotham was obsessed with protecting this city.

By all right. Should be in the realm herself.

But no. She got bloody obsessed with Gotham, that was a pain ta realize. Claimed the bloody city as if it was her own. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was obsessed with the bats.

The bat.

He could live without him. You can only take so much of the brooding and the arguments about science vs magic. Why did the being have ta choose Gotham? Desperation despair, just why here of all places.

Bloody hell. She don’t even let other entities here. More than one odd fight here and there. Ghost disputes. Ain’t cause damage as she kept the lot from causing any.

She ain’t let squat through. So why come to Gotham of all places? Maybe this guy felt Lady Gotham's presence. Or maybe she reached out to him? Or just completely dumb luck?

Wherever the kid was Lady Gotham would know. Knowin' her got a deal out of it or something.

Granted. Gotham was the ideal place for these entities to hide. Factoring in he could be hiding out. The stench of Gotham would by the time he supposes. Wouldn’t be the first time something tried to hide out here.

 As much as the bat disliked the occult, his entire city was crawling with the stuff. Just had to get the kid hope he ain’t dead and go from there. Just had to stop the infinite realm from going all out.

Bloody hell. Yeas. This was just peachy.

“Where’s the kid?”

A grunt. That’s the response he got. He was typing away again. If the world wasn’t on the line he’d be amused. Of all the times for the cold shoulder. It sure wasn’t bloody today. Who knows what condition the entity would be in? Blood blossoms aren't a joke.

The US government. Well, they were a joke. God bless England, it ain’t condemning the world to an apocalypse. He didn’t want to think of the other possibilities they could do. Just had to mess with an entire dimension.

 Whoever had the supposed kid was still not responsive.

You’d think at a certain point he’d stop calling. Didn’t he have trackers on everyone or something? Like he’s a detective and all. Trackers just for him.

Hell, he couldn’t even sense any ego signature in the city, well minus Lady Gotham’s. Her ectoplasm was stretched all throughout the town. She was also directing her essence directed at him. Couldn’t feel jack cause of it.

Clearly, not a fan he was in her city.

If anything is here, he wouldn’t know.

Same ain’t true outside of Gotham. Before entering the city boundaries. He felt it, something coming this way. A newly formed ecto entity less than a year old, one beelining it.

It wasn’t a baby ancient or even a world ending in strength. Maybe a scout? That didn’t feel quite right either. Still too young to have any proper training. If it were possible, he’d say it was just forming a core. Which didn’t track.

Those things came premade. They pop into existence with them. No forming happens. A life moved on to the afterlife, not ready to give up or it's somehow too powerful for a normal afterlife. Instantly knew the rules for the realm.  Instantly knew their powers.

Then deal with the other beings. Fighting to learn their powers all to help the younger ones use them properly. This didn’t track.

That young of a being ain’t supposed to be out and about.

Well, whatever it was would be on Gotham’s doorstep soon.

Time was not their friend. When was it?

Lady Gotham decided to push more of her ectoplasm toward him. Great.

Bloody hell. He was gonna have to deal with Lady Gotham. The only way to find this entity. Hell. Maybe he’ll get lucky, and she’ll spill.

She didn’t like him, and he didn’t like her.

Having all your thoughts shared made it awfully tricky to get a loophole in any deal. Ugh. Oh well. He’d figure it out. If the bat was no help. He’d just go around the guy. Unless he finally got an answer.

Another failed call.

Screw it.

He wasn’t bound to the bat.

“I’m out. Follow my own hunch. Pester lady Gotham. She got ta be hiding him.”

Only a grunt. The guy must be stuck in his phone. Whoever had the kid aint talking? He won't waste time waiting. Best to go hunt down Lady Gotham. He knows her tricks and knows better than to make any deals. He should be able to get at least something out of her, joint feelings and all. Just had to use that to his advantage.

He’s done it before.

Now to deal with Lady Gotham. Great. Well… she agreed to meet with him. Even before he sent out a request to her. Her ecto signature hit him like a brick of walls. He allowed the void to take him.

What business do you have here John could feel her anger.

Let an ecto being here anytime recently.

Protectiveness hit him.

What business do you have with the prince?

Dread filled the channel between them.

F*ck

What business do you have with the prince?

Blood blossoms were injected into him. He needs help don’t he?

He Is with my favorite knight. Any human in possession of these blossoms will be dealt with. No more will be permitted within his presence. He is under my protection now.

Gotta be affecting him. If the kids a royal and I can’t feel it. It’s bad. Not even you could hide his signature alone.

There was some form of discomfort creeping in between them.

Kid needs help.

As long as you are working with Batman. You arrived with him. Unlike normal. I will not help. The deal I have stricken will remain unbroken. That holds the prince to remain under my protection. Until Gotham is unsafe he is suck. I shan’t lead my knight to him.

I’ll ditch the bat. That ain’t a problem.

Then we shall strike our own deal

****

The kid was out. No time like the present to deal with Bruce.

“What”. Bruce was lucky Jason could go outside via the window. He would not risk waking that kid up. Only reason he was willing to talk. Well. Willing was a strong word. He just needs information, to find out what is going on. Maybe get the kid's parents' name out of the conversation.

Purely for educational reasons, no other reason.

Wouldn’t know how much he’d get until he dealt with the man.

Bruce was just as stubborn as him.

Might as well make this as quick as he could.

“I just got that kid into a bed. Dealt with his injuries. Kids lucky he didn’t bleed out jumping off a roof. Might I remind you to avoid you guys? Whatever you need, make it quick.”?

“This is serio-“

“Kid was vivisected. Know that? Parents no less. If you have info about his health or well-being I’ll take it, show up here and we bounce. Kid and I quote specifically said no cops or those weird vigilantes. I’ll take my chances.”

“He was poisoned by something called blood blossoms; Constantine says they're deadly to ecto-entities.”

“You have a cure” Bruce better have some solutions or something. He will not let this kid die on him.

“Constantine said he’d have to look” Bruce’s voice was more frustrated than normal. Most of been trying to deal with this for a while.

The kid needed treatment and the blood blossom thing had to be a recent discovery. None of the attempts to contact him had been as separate as the last few.

“That ain’t gonna work, that kids running if someone shows up here. I’ve managed to get him some help by being his best option. We’re both guilty of crimes ya know.”

“He needs help you can’t give”.

“I’ve done more than your merry band. They scared him off a roof. That could have been fatal” from what he’d gathered. It was the “blood” son who caused that mess. Dick just got stuck with the blame.

“Danny is a teen who is terrified. Having someone come around ain’t gonna help.

That kid certainly won’t trust a drunk in a trench coat. He doesn’t even trust me; he just knows I ain’t turning him in. I only know what I know cause he accidentally spilled when I was patching the kid up. Not very tight-lipped when pretending he is fine.

I’ve barely managed to get him any medical treatment. It’s not a pretty sight. If that kid bolts and these stitches pop again, he very well could bleed out. Blood blossoms aside.

No way you’ll be able to convince him to go with you willingly nor let anyone near him. Couldn’t John just use his magic or whatnot to work just close by”?

“Hm”

“Did Constantine ditch the big bad bay?” Jason could find the humor in that even given the situation. So they had to figure out some way to get this handled.

Getting him to agree to let a British English man come over. That ain’t happening. Not like that. Not when the kid likely has some of his powers back.

But.

Maybe. Instead of a random British man, he could bring up an older British man. John would have to figure out lurking from a distance, he could lurk around while Alfred was in the apartment. Kid clocked him when he was on the roof. Couldn’t just have John show up to sneak about. What if he got sensed out as well?

Bruce and them were a no-go. Too public or too suspicious.

Use Alfred. Lie and say he knows a guy. Not a doctor just an older man who offered help. More luck with him then the drunk. Then he’d at least get better medical attention. He could handle this stuff with no problem. He was most certainly not on Alfred’s level.

“Just maybe I could convince him to let Agent A stop by.

Not ideal. But just maybe it could work. Have John show up at the same time. Let him feel around.

The ectoplasm in the vial seemed to help the kid out. Have one of the bats come and grab it. They can pass that off to John for now.

That’s the only way any of this will work. The kid has powers and all. For now, it’s my only offer.”

Crash bang

That was coming from inside the apartment. Oh no. It’s been like 8 minutes did he wake up? Did he hear any of this? Was it actually super hearing?

“What was tha-“

“Gotta go”

“Don’t-“ Jason hung up mid-sentence. He had to see what’s up. Maybe the kid just tried to leave again and failed. Knocked over the side table or something.

Getting back into the apartment Just in time to see Danny's panic and fear evident in his eye bolting. Once again going intangible right before his eyes. Backpack in hand.

F*ck.

[sevi007]

Tales of the Abyss, part 19 - Things are getting risky, and spoilery, so back under the cut you GO

- just let me say, I will cover Deo Pass all in one post, since the dialogues at the beginning and the end of the pass need to be seen as one big event, things that are connected.

Haaaah. Okay, see here - I‘m not blindly protective. I will readily admit Luke’s new „position“ is getting to his head, and he is acting terrible.

(I think this is an amalgamation of all his wishes and dreams and what he learned in a short time - his hunger to be seen and avknowledged as HIM, not the boy he supposedly was seven years ago, or a child on house arrest. His wish to be free, which seems to be possible when he becomes a hero. His dream that he and the only man he considers kind, Van, will run away together. All that is connected into that one foretold thing he must do to become a hero, obviously it will get straight to his head! Everything he wants is right THERE and he will be a hero and nobody will laugh at him when he doesn’t know something.)

But. Big but. I think the group is ALSO handling him terribly. They get angry (which I do understand!) but instead of either admonishing and showing him other options, OR maybe point out what an Ambassador is or does, or that to fulfill the scores prophecy you still need to work for it - instead of using one of many, many better options, they leave him in the dark, and ignore his outbursts. They snap at him, then walk away before explaining what was wrong, or how to do better. See Guy here for example - he probably holds the most sway over Luke in this group, seeing as they know each other the longest, but he only thinks something, never says it. Yes, he is Luke's servant, but that has not stopped him before.

And then to add insult to inury - or blatant secrecy to neglect more like:

they keep heavily hinting at what Luke IS - and then ignore him when he asks what is going on.

Of course he will feel like they are keeping him at a distance, laughing at him behind his back, or think he is dumb.

Look at this here:

The thing is, Luke's attitude is partly born EXACTLY because the party is treating him like they are right now, by ignoring him and not telling him stuff - making fun of him, he feels like. It is a cycle. by ignoring his demands to know, and only reacting to him when he pushes boundaries by being rude, they are cementing his belief that they are not taking him seriously, and fortifying his bad behavior.

I know they are all dealing with their own stuff, but this is dangerous. this will further drive him towards Van, whom he repeatedly claims is the only person kind to him.

This last thing ESPECIALLY should worry the party and make them reconsider how they are handling this. They - or at least Tear - don‘t trust Van, but make no move to cut that connection to Luke.

Instead, even Tear bursts out at him and calls him a puppet, the last thing he wants to be.

I talked about this in the previous post, but at least Jade KNOWS what's going on with Luke at this point, but he does not say. Then there is Tear, who knows her brother cannot be trusted (she tried to kill him) but does not stop Luke from spending time alone with Van, even though Luke is easily influenced. And Natalia knows what Van and Luke have planned, at least the running away part, but makes no move to stop Luke either.

There are ample opportunities to pipe up and at least try to steer clear of the very obvious disaster coming their way, but nobody makes a move. You could argue, and I do see some sense in it, tgat everyone has other things on their minds, pressing matters. But still, right now, Luke and Van are a ticking timebimb, and it's like everyone is standing next to it and whistling until it goes off in their faces.

Here, again, I wish the group would stop for only a beat. If Luke is acting terribly like this, smack him over the head and yell at him - Natalia is especially good at this. If Luke’s frozen, tell him where he can help. Remind him that he won‘t look like a hero when ge freezes now. Jade has proven he can provoke Luke into doing things, Natalia gives clear orders, Tear and Ion can talk to him

Yes. They are taking the most pragmatic, quickest route in a stressful situation. But this is the last straw in a long line of moments where they did not act to stop Luke's behavior - and it adds up and adds up, until they drive Luke away - straight towards Van

(I'm not taking the blame away entirely from Luke, btw. He is acting like a spoiled brat here. But I think this is born of seven years of neglect, and missed opportunities to point out how to behave properly. He is a Duke's son, but was never told how to act like a noble. He was not taught the mere basics of social interactions - remember how he did not even know to pay for food. He's like a toddler never given rules, and it shows.)

@magicmetslogic

@ahsokaisawesome

[turnupthestrobe]

feels weird to post something personal especially since i'm just doing halloween stuff rn and don't do personal posts in general but this is something i wrote and have been sharing

Apologies in advance for sharing a long, personal post on social media, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to share some of this for a while, and Rosh Hashanah felt like an appropriate moment to do that, separate from the political implications that even just acknowledging my Judaism carries these days (for the record, I am wholeheartedly pro-Palestine and have no personal or spiritual connection whatsoever with Israel).

Over the past few years I have had to deal with a number of physical and mental health issues and that has been a really dominant theme in my life and also a big part of my self-identity, in large part because I’ve mostly had to deal with all these things alone, without much of support system or community, which is itself a byproduct of some of the things I’ve been working on. I have this whole story and reconciling what went on before I tried to kill myself at the beginning of 2022 with the recovery that has occurred after has been an ongoing process. 

This is all a roundabout way of, first off, apologizing to anyone who’s had to deal with me as a “sick person,” whether it’s been me talking about my issues too much or being unreliable because of these things, or pretty much any of my behavior prior to early 2022- there was a long period of time I was taking medications that were having an adverse affect of my mental health, and that, along with undiagnosed health issues, was sort of my whole life since I became an adult, and realistically probably before that as well.  Part of this is that I don’t always know what I can or should share with people or what I can ask from them so sometimes I either set more boundaries than I need to or conversely try to force closeness when I should be reading the signals that this isn’t wanted or welcome. I have always struggled with forming and maintaining close relationships with other people and in retrospect I am mortified with some of the ways this difficulty has manifested over the years. 

Second, and more important, I wanted to share that I’ve been doing the work to shift my mentality away from being a sick and disabled person and regretting all the time I lost while I was figuring that out to being more present and finding an identity for myself outside of being sick, anxious and depressed. For the first time ever I’m figuring out who I am independently of my “problems” and also learning how to be a functioning adult human without using illness as crutch to fall back on. By virtue of living with some of these things for so long I’ve become very defensive and self-involved about a lot of things, and part of my recovery has been learning how to be more open and less self-centered and also trying to understand how much space I deserve to take up in this world. Before I would have said none of very little. Now, maybe a little bit more?

In 2022, I chose to live even though I wanted, on a deep and fundamental level, to die. Now, two years later, I’m reaffirming my commitment to being alive and starting to think about what it might be like to not only be alive, but also be healthy and, hopefully in the long run, happy. Thanks to those of you who have stuck by throughout all of this. You are small in number but great in patience, generosity and understanding. I have no idea why anyone would put up with me. I don’t even put up with my own bullshit- if I weren’t me I would have written myself off years ago. So thank you and just know I’ve really been doing the work these past few years and continue to be committed to figuring out all the things I fucked up for so long. 

[emeraldracer]

It will be kind of a personal post, and I contemplated if I should write this, but it bounces in my head for some time now, and maybe it'll be relatable to some people. I value fiction in my life a lot, as probably any person who went through some shit in their childhood and found a shelter in stories. I also learned to overcome difficult things through looking at characters with a similar experience. That's why the rejection of so called problematic hits me so hard.

Armand's relationship with Marius is a goldmine of therapeutic stuff for people like me. I do empathize with Armand in general, but Marius as a figure who's done him plenty of harm however still was loved by Anne and is loved by Armand is what I dig in often.

Maker/fledgling dynamic mixes a lot together as it is (the show is actually very good at exploring this), but with these two it's done to the extremes. I don't see it as a bad thing personally, because I'm in the category of people who were emotionally abandoned by their parents and have issues with not seeking the parental type of love from their partners. Hence plenty of consequences that it entails. You look for someone older who very possibly will abuse your trust. You struggle with responsibilities in a relationship. You don't have boundaries. What Anne did by sticking roles of a parent and a partner to one person can be quite helpful to understand the pattern. There's a lot of bitterness on top of it all that I do recognize: the addiction and the doubt on Armand's part, particularly when they talk religion. You depend on what they give you, you let them scramble your brain on the regular.

Why I think Marius still being lovable to the characters is meaningful? The most realistic thing about this is that people continue to have feelings for their shitty parents and crave the warmth they didn't receive.

"Master, I love you, but now I must be alone," I said. "You don't need me now, do you, Sir? How can you? You never really did."

Usually the family, if they aren't complete assholes, will still have people that respect them, too. I appreciate that Anne wrote Marius ignorant and not purely evil, because it's the most common thing to be harmed by ignorance. I've said it before and I'll repeat it many times later, I'm sure.

I love the church dialog in the beginning of TVA (the quote above), because Armand there is contemplative and tries to distance himself from Marius, despite being emotionally wrecked. Comparing to how mindlessly needy he was in Venice it's a progress. He grew, he knows how to say no, even if I would like it to be firmer.

The answer to why they are talking at all is quite obvious to me, too. Fandom wrote a lot about how being eternal might affect the desire to mend things even with those who caused you grief. But again, people choose to do it with parents all the time.

And (!) by QotD Armand chooses his partners quite differently: from Lestat - a Marius's carbon copy, to Daniel with a completely different dynamic. The fact it can be seen as a reversed thing is a separate conversation, though.

I totally believe these plotlines go beyond bedroom scenes and fetishizing and magnetize the faulty nature of such a thing. As an afterthought, another similar line Anne did is Lestat having a thing for Gabrielle. And I know we like to laugh about it, but it's not a leap of imagination to compare this to infantile boys who cling to their mothers and expect their girlfriends to give them the same treatment. The fact he is forced to let Gabrielle go is a perfect conclusion to this, if you ask me.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

Hey, so I have a situation going on (TW for extensive discussion of ED):

So I'm in recovery but sometimes I still relapse, especially during the fall and winter months, idk why but those are just the worst for me in terms of ED. My roommate and acquaintance knows that I've been battling ED for most of my life and before I moved in with her and other flatmates, I told everyone that I am in recovery and that I need them not to comment on my food (be it choices that seem disordered but are actually improvements to my previous situation, or idk my portion sizes for example).

Despite that, this roommate, who is currently going through an eating disorder and is in therapy for it, keeps commenting on my food. She keeps judging how much I eat, keeps asking me questions about why I eat what I eat (eg. Sometimes there are days when I just won't eat something I haven't made. I just can't. And she'll just keep asking why. It's not malicious but she doesn't take the hint when I say "well you know...due to the problems" and essentially forces me to just outright say that I can't eat it because I don't have control over it and the ingredients, which is both a frankly embarrassing thing to say and most of the time she doesn't really get it either), and sometimes says things like "Idk how you eat like that and aren't fat lol" (which usually occurs when I have like...a slice of bread with jam or something, which is, mind you, also usually my only food of the day because I am too busy for my own good, and because my meds cause me not to have an appetite).

Worse than that, she vents about her ED problems to me constantly. I get that maybe she needs someone outside of therapy to talk about it with, but it makes me really close to relapsing every time. She'll come home and start saying things like "I weighed myself yesterday and lost another X kg" and "A guy ranted to me about how he wanted to lose weight, like duh he should be happy, he might need it for when he's like me, who hasn't eaten in 3 days." and "I've been so bad today but it's probably a good thing because the 4 days before that I didn't eat at all."

I don't know how to gently reaffirm my boundaries and tell her that it's affecting me really badly when she says such things to me. I don't want to be too firm or mean, and I understand that she's going through bad stuff, but I'm not in a place where I could listen to it without it fucking me up badly.

Honestly, I think you've given your roommate the benefit of the doubt for too long. She doesn't "forget" she's triggering you. She's subtly doing it on purpose. She doesn't "not pick up on" your hints about why you're uncomfortable. She's enjoying making you uncomfortable. I usually do not advise people to think in such a paranoid fashion, but I truly believe the writing is on the wall here. As someone who has given others the benefit of the doubt for too long and gotten hurt for it, I feel obligated to say this.

Anon, those of us who have eating disorders are often unwell in other ways. We often have trauma and difficult relationships and other issues. And we're often competitive in our eating disorders, which is a real risk. Many of us try to show off being the "sickest" or make it a game, sometimes. And you are ABSOLUTELY allowed to be too firm and "too mean" in defending your health. Her going through stuff does NOT justify her putting you through stuff, and that's a lesson all of us who have mental illness need to learn - both in regard to what we put up with, and what we may make others put up with.

So listen. A successful boundary is not a statement of "you can't do X." Attempting to control the behavior of others is useless. Instead, think of a boundary (and speak your boundaries) in terms of "if you do X, I will do Y to protect myself." And do be prepared to follow through on that consequence. As one of my favorite TikTok therapists once said, "a boundary without consequences for violating it isn't a boundary, it's more of a fancy request."

If you're stuck in the lease and don't have the option of moving away from this girl, here's what you can do to get by for now. Make a list of all the things she has done to trigger your ED, and make a list of responses that will be protective for you. Then, have a kind but firm talk with her about how she constantly triggers your ED and how you will be taking the following measures to take care of your mental health. Let her know you're not trying to be hurtful but for your protection, these are non-negotiable. Things like "If you continue to make comments about what is on my plate, I will take my plate and leave the room." or "If you continue to vent to me about your eating disorder, I will hang out with you less."

She may try to act the victim. Do not be swayed by this. No matter how she feels about this talk, nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health, and it is her own responsibility to learn to take care of her own mental health WITHOUT hurting others, as we all must learn to do. Tell her that you want for her to have someone to talk to about this, but that someone cannot be you. She has done this multiple times. This isn't a mistake at this point, and honestly, you're not doing her a favor by letting her go without learning how to hold herself accountable for respecting the boundaries of others. But more importantly, you're not doing yourself any favors by teaching yourself that it's okay to let others hurt you because they're having a hard time. Your hard times matter too, anon.

Best of luck in the roommate stuff and in making it through the winter.