#and maybe that’s cause they validating my feelings | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

insanechayne · 2 years ago

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#oh goody the depression is creeping back into my chest #vibes just feel all off with the guy I’ve been talking to #like at first it seemed like we’d really have a good chance and he acted very committed despite the distance #but then over time he’s gotten more like cold and has raised some red flags for me #but I might just be anxious and paranoid so I wanna just give him the benefit of the doubt and see what happens #but I’m kinda struggling with this whole thing #and I tell two different friends the issue I’m having #one friend says it’s probably not a big deal and I might be misreading things and all of this #which def sounds reasonable when I hear their opinion #but other friend says it’s a red flag and dude is clearly not going to be committed #and idk they make a good argument too #and maybe that’s cause they validating my feelings #but everything is so torn cause my gut and my head and my heart are all going in different directions all at once #and I’m just left overthinking and anxious and sad #personal

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petorahs · 1 year ago

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shuake works because it feels like akechi's the only one who listens to akira and prompts the otherwise quiet leader to talk.

in a game about defiant teens making their voice heard, goro akechi listens to akira's voice from the get-go. out of detective-sleuthing/work duties, sure, but over time it's clear that akechi genuinely finds akira interesting.

in fact, akechi's confidant route regardless of which game is being played starts with him deeming akira the antithesis to his thesis, a "worthwhile debate partner". akechi values joker's opinions.

its always nice to see people point out that in that one 3rd sem phone call with akechi, its the most involved akira's been in a conversation in-game. i myself remember inserting a lot more input during that story-sequence which usually i can put on autoplay otherwise. akechi, in a whole different reality, still seeks out joker's opinions on it. it's like he trusts no one but him.

and imo this gives a lot of character to akira. he talks the most with akechi. the quietest people have the most on their minds, and it shows with akira. but akira never gets a say in anything, and who would listen? he's less than a nobody in reality since society dictated that. so he pointedly made himself silent, hiding his thoughts beneath an impenetrable mask. during important story moments, akira favors doing more than saying. his teammates and confidants are all directly inspired by his actions over the course of the game.

but with akechi, it's different. actions seem to take a backseat as they continue with their verbal back-and-forth. in rank 7 of royal, they play pool while talking, but it's clear to the outsider that the focus is in the layered conversation they're having. they primarily talk everytime akechi's in the coffee shop, because they dont usually see eachother in their busy schedules. it's not just "hi, hello, how are you?" with them but "i find you and everything you stand for interesting. let's talk more."

there's something to be said about how two people with vastly different and opposing views seek eachother out to further discuss things instead of antagonizing eachother. its why maruki said "despite being enemies, your relationship was never based on hatred or ill will".

their relationship was never a one-sided thing. akechi helps joker as much as joker helps him... arguably more. he eggs joker on, shows him that he can do better. otherwise, the leader would remain stagnant and unchallenged. there is no progress where there is no thesis and-- you can finish the rest.

#persona 5 #shuake #goro akechi #akira kurusu #been defensively quiet lately and was thinking how nice it is to have someone listen to and validate my thoughts.#maybe not always agree but. making me feel like my words are worthwhile #aishi.docx #and then i realized thats exactly what akechi does with joker. damn rivals...#they should exist irl too...#oh to have a smug pretty n intelligent boyfriend telling me im smart while he twirls his spoon in the tea i made him...#anyway i really like the topic of joker's quietude cause i feel like it makes sense that he wasnt always like that at all.#him becoming quiet after getting shut down over and over is like. so humbling and a real epidemic i fear...#this is a personal post more than anything i feel HSJDBJS me giving joker my fears and pains. but actually joker copied ME #(said like a totally normal person)

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marimbles · 1 month ago

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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3

#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom #s3 was soooo much fun for me #and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha #things just feel so different in the fandom now #both the fandom has changed and I have changed #and of course the STORY has changed #and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react #cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol #committed to spreading positivity #and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore #this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters #and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing #that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol #like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining #and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t #I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd #i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol #cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter #I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha #but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter #or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction #is that too much nuance for tumblr lol #see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 4 months ago

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wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

#there's a variety of reasons for this #part of it is that im GROSSLY unqualified to be handing out diagnoses when it takes a full on PhD to do that in real life #part of it is that psychology is inchoate and we are still very much in murky waters #for example: complex ptsd isn't even IN the DSM yet #and iirc my therapist told me it was because theyre still figuring out how to classify it (attachment disorder? trauma disorder? etc.)#part of it is that (from my limited and undereducated understanding) there are diagnoses that you can assign by completing a checklist...#but some that require a hell of a lot more testing and ruling out other potential causes #and the cluster-b personalities are (IIRC) not even ones you're supposed to diagnose minors with #bc of fears of self fulfilling prophecy and because minors in general are still developing personalities In General #and like the fact that i can't say that with authority speaks to how unqualified i am to do any diagnosing right? hahaha #and part of it is just because like #unless the story is specifically About That and the author has stated so explicitly #i think diagnosing characters tends to put blinders on analysis #like if i were to seriously go 'eridan is autistic' then it would massively bias my reading and understanding of his character #and we have 0 indication that eridan was ever explicitly intended to be autistic or that the author was trying to do an autism specifically #that doesn't mean that the reading is invalid because like thats what death of the author means #all readings are technically valid including stuff the author didn't necessarily intend #but that's just not the way i like to engage with media and not the way i like to approach character analysis #because PERSONALLY it just feels kind of reductive - but also -#i'd wager MOST of us don't have degrees in psychology #so when i say 'X character has Y condition' it might mean something totally different to somebody reading my analysis #even people who have Y condition aren't exempt because a lot of mental illnesses differ from person to person #whereas if i explain “X character has Y thoughts and Z behaviors” there's no ambiguity in that #eridan struggles with noticing that people are suffering and with realizing that he should care #at least part of this is due to his horrific murder-filled upbringing which rendered empathy a detriment & so he learned to ignore it #it could be autism - but it could also be trauma -#or he might just be Like That without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism #& you can't even technically be diagnosed with C-PTSD #or maybe he has a burgeoning personality disorder but you aren't supposed to DX those too early anyway #or maybe hes just 13. see what i mean hahaha. ive reached the 30 tag limit

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s1xseasonsandamov1e · 5 months ago

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i love when people pretend that not liking taylor swift is some crazy controversial thing like bitch you know damn well

#also why do people feel the need to let you know they don’t like her?#i have a ts related sticker on my laptop which means everyone in my class knows i like her and they’ll just randomly come up to me and #talk about how much they hate her or just start talking to me about kanye west #like girl i don’t give a fuck?#why do you think this is an interesting conversation topic?#i really don’t understand the thought process unfolding there #like i don’t like drake either you don’t see me talking about it #i just don’t understand why you feel the need to announce it #also i feel like most reasons people have for hating her are either cause 1. they have issues 2. they don’t actually know what they’re #talking about or 3. they’ve listened to like three of her songs #like most things people criticize about her Can be debunked #obviously there are valid criticisms to make about her BUT i feel like people criticize her way more than they criticize other people #anyway #i just feel like people who particularly complain about her being too famous are literally the fucking reason she’s that famous #like maybe if you shut the fuck up about her for five seconds she wouldn’t be as well known

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moeblob · 8 months ago

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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autisticlee · 4 months ago

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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more #sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently #yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn #and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else #everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution #but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me #youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset #and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE #like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life #if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us #we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way #they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature #this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it #someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic #autism #actually autistic #lee rambles #words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not #also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it #why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation #no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd #today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better

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lumiilys · 3 months ago

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What if I just rambled in the tags rn?

#personal stuff don’t mind me #just musings about sex and relationships #am I ace or aro? am I just opposed to the idea of a relationship cause I feel like I could never trust anyone on that level?#am I ace? sex sounds fun enough but it also doesn’t feel necessary? and I can’t imagine ever wanting to sleep with anyone #I literally never considered this until one of my friends complained to me about being sexually frustrated and I was like ???#??? THATS A REAL THING ???#I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE #where am I going with this #I’ve had 4 crushes in my life (excluding fictional characters cause I don’t think that’s the same)#I’m definitely bisexual #and yet am I? am I even attracted to anyone?#maybe I’m just on the ace spectrum somewhere?#and does it even really matter? why should I feel like I have to label it?#maybe it’s cause I feel like I have to label it to be valid #otherwise people view you as a loser #it’s frustrating #people talk about the concept of virginity being meaningless #and I usually see people talk about it in the sense of like #having lots of sex and sleeping with lots of people doesn’t make you impure #(which is true!!!)#but I feel like some people who say that still look down on people who don’t have sex #and view them as no fun or prudes or whatever #and the double standards piss me off #lol sorry for all of this I just need to ramble somewhere #ollie rambles #adding on #like the fact that I’m ashamed to admit even in the tags here that I’ve not had sex before is ridiculous!!!#it shouldn’t be this way!!!!#it’s something completely neutral!!!!!#it should be on the same level as admitting I’ve never tried melon or never been rollerblading!!!!

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ethersierra · 1 year ago

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i wish people were more open to saying "its not for me" rather than being like "this is objectively bad and here's why"

#sierra speaks #this is about the taz subreddits but uhhh also about things in general lmao #i notice this shit so often and it is the one thing that grinds my gears #bc there are valid critiques of things but theres also recognizing that maybe it just didn't sit with you but maybe there are good things..#like im sorry you hated devo... they were trying to tell an interesting story lmao #i get that people miss taz being a comedy but like... the mcelroys have changed w that ! they want to tell stories!#there are still goofs but there are also stories #and like... i fr think ethersea is just as interesting as balance #anyways this is just a view even outside of taz that has been very real to my mind these past few years #its like im.. extremely sick of negativity in general? i think we can critique things!! but it doesnt have to be an awful hellscape yk. lik #we CAN enjoy things or just.. not partake in them...#cause there are many things i dont think are objectively bad. but so many people out there will be like oh this is unlistenable and im like #idk dog i had a good time #i definitely think ethersea is the kind of season that is most fun when binged and less so when it's airing #whereas steeplechase feels the opposite! idk just what im feeling rn :]

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mudsbray · 9 months ago

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i wish i could draw again. It’s strange to loose what i loved for my whole life

#sorry to complain about this a millionth time…. it’s odd #it’s a chore to me. for so very long now.. and i feel so deeply unsettled and upset by this.#Joy is found in enjoying things but this hasn’t been one of them in almost 2 years now. i’m still thinking that this is #because methods of sharing art are scattered now.#i don’t .. want to post in a discord server where it gets burried #i don’t want to post on twitter where i fight for it #or on tumblr where it’s hard to tag anything unique or self made #fur affinity is close to deviantart but it’s all artists looking for commissions ( very valid #but i miss the communication and comments ..)#deviantart is a joke and i hate insta/tiktok… ect…#maybe that’s it… no reason to draw in my mind cause no one will see it #sorry. i really don’t think my art is Bad necessarily and i appreciate evryone thats ever liked it!#but it’s just. hard #In General…?#speak #oh well… here’s to hoping

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widevibratobitch · 7 months ago

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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time #and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again #have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind #ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her #that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right #to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel #that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week #and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes #'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like #i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying #a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again #because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it #i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao #oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour #pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA

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thuviel · 11 months ago

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Big update!!

I finally got my ADHD and autism diagnosis at the end of the year!!! AND I got my trans diagnosis too!!

There's still a bunch of waiting left for doctors and treatments and stuff but I'm finally done with the beast that is endless assessments and wait times ;o; It kinda feels surreal after so many years of waiting and fighting but I did it!!

#it's also such incredible relief to know that it really isn't all in my head #cause i was feeling like i was going insane at some points #but nah my brain just lacks some stuff lol #this is about the nd stuff btw the trans stuff i was 100% sure about and needed no validation for but alas the gatekeep system requires it #maybe one day i'll be able to complete my degree if i get proper help for this omg #can u imagine #elfy thoughts #transition #audhd

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companionwolf · 1 month ago

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I was trying to figure out ideas for a zine (I guess me, CL, P2, and Wolf make them now?) but, uh, just kinda ended up drawing myself... whoops.

#other post #-ct #tailstrokes #i guess?#no i'm not a parker haha #i feel like my style differs a tiny bit from wolf which is... sort od validating in a way?#you know one of the kids called #god i almost said 'us'#i'm NOT a white collar anymore #i mean i kept the work clothes but that's cause i think they're kinda hot #but anyway the kid called them (fuck i wrote us there instinctively) scientists first and the others nearly agreed to use that for them #that'd have been weird #they (...we?) are definitely NOT scientists #not we im not that anymore! fuck!#THE POINT is that im not sure theres really anything that encompasses what i used to do #maybe observer watcher witness #anyway it doesnt matter now #god i really feel i was there decades ago its what i said to wolf when they first made contact and asked but #if you asked me for memories for a feeling of connection to specific things to describe i couldnt i cant #i just feel like i was there and i was ... doing my former job #other people here got to be the ones in things good and bad and evil alike #me and the rest we didnt #we just did our jobs #we werent people #or like cl said didnt know we were/are #im making myself sad #going to shut up now

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seilon · 9 months ago

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more and more it makes me kind of uncomfortable (for lack of a better/softer word) to call my own characters ‘ocs’. because like. they’re from a completely original universe and from completely original intertwined stories and all that. so why would i have to specify they’re original in the same way someone would when referring to a character they made for a pre-existing non-original universe/franchise/whatever? by that logic every fiction author ever would be referring to their characters as ocs rather than just. their characters. you know.

#i guess you could say it’s different or something because I haven’t published any one Solid Official Work yet or anything but.#I don’t think that particularly matters? cause then you just get into policing what does and doesn’t count as Real and Official and that #inevitably doesn’t do anything good #idk man I know the term Original Character isn’t technically incorrect in my case but. I just feel like that term was created to separate #fandom creations from their source’s canon. or maybe to describe characters that don’t come from any particular established universe #or story at all (fandom or otherwise).#cause otherwise. why shouldn’t I just be calling them my characters. the characters from my universe and my works. which are #established and incorporated. it’s definitely not properly organized or set up for true publication (at least not yet. definitely possible #I’ll publish something as a consumable structured thing someday)#you just don’t hear established authors calling their characters ocs. because why should they? the original part is sort of a given.#hopefully anyway #anywayyuyyyyyyeuyyyhh sorry this is not important just has been on my mind the last few weeks or few months or more #kibumblabs #I guess there’s also a difference maybe between making characters for the sake of making characters- and those being ocs- versus #characters that are developed as part of a larger work/story #I definitely feel like there’s a difference between the two and how they should be labelled (but im not saying one is more valid than the #other or anything like that.)#like when I see a poll that’s like ‘how many ocs do you have’ I just kinda sit there cause that question. doesn’t make sense in #my situation at all. because it’s the same as asking the author of a fiction novel that question. what do I count as my ‘oc’#would that mean my primary characters? or vaguely my primary and secondaryish ones? or do you mean every single character mentioned #regardless of importance or prevalence? every single named parent or grandparent or boss or childhood friend or one night stand or etc etc #I feel like it’s weird to call those characters ‘ocs’ in the way the question is implying. but then what DOES count? it just doesn’t make #sense for something like this. right? it irks me a little

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hershelchocolateart · 2 years ago

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Something I forgot about the difference between Tumblr and Instagram (or at least the one I'm thinking about right now) is that I'll post something on Instagram, get the handful of likes from the regulars, and then poof. It's gone. Off to the ether with you. Guess I'll have to post something new

Meanwhile on Tumblr, I am STILL regularly getting likes on the bifrost incident stained glass piece. Definitely not as many but they're still coming. USUALLY it's the few people I'm friends with sharing a thing once or twice and then that goes into the ether too, but when one of my drawings goes past the normal circle of friends I'm getting notifs on that for DAYS.

Plus, it's never fully gone! I can go reblog my older art whenever I want! Whereas on Instagram you'd just. I don't know. Post the same thing again? Which sucks. What if I just want to remind someone that something exists? What if I don't have anything new or special to say? What if I just went "Oh yeah I still really like this piece" and then I bring it back to the top so other people can see it too.

Also the you can only post squares thing. Who the HELL made a site around sharing art and images and said you can only use perfect squares. FUCK you

#having thoughts about art tonight and this one felt relevant so yall get ir #*it #not art #i am STILL getting the ocassional like on the mechs sketchbook page #meanwhile i posted my most recent (and current favorite) one to instagram at APPARENTLY a weird time #cause only a third of the usual people have seen it #and i have NO way to bump it again. absolutely zero. the algorithm sees all and it wants me dead #tumblr is a way less useful site if you want to be professional with your work #but its way better for actually getting that validation #that people like your stuff and would like you to keep making it #i dunno it feels different #i always have to try to get the most traction possible on instagram #meanwhile over here i go 'i thought this would be fun!! i wanted to post it because maybe some of you #who are stuck in small dead fandom hell would like it too!'#AND THEN THEY DO #AND THEY ARE SO OPENLY KIND #i dont know. I Dont Know. im having thoughts

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talkorsomething · 5 months ago

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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald

#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТА��#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length #but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this #middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl #i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know #how short that is. it might not look good so i worry #the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this #i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day #tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will #be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden #iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason #i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again #idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier #buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything #and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first #correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs #i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again #i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything #i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all #i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces #in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed #i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not #i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on

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