#am I ace or aro? am I just opposed to the idea of a relationship cause I feel like I could never trust anyone on that level?

[lumiilys]

What if I just rambled in the tags rn?

[frozenjokes]

long list of mcyt ships and my dumbass opinions this post was getting too long and I have so much more to say

skizzpulse: needed to write about this because I don’t ship them at all but something is deeply weird about them in a way that is neither platonic or romantic. They have transcended human definitions of Relationship to me. No they’re not a QPR either. They’re weirder. Whatever you’re thinking they’re weirder. Do not separate. Attached at the hip.

etho: etho is in a realm of his own where I simply can not ship him. he’s not doing the romance. he’s not doing the qpr. he’s not doing shit. And it’s not because he can’t pull bitches; he is swagless and a loser in a way that brings ALL the boys to the yard (as opposed to Grian who is similar except he can’t pull anyone), he’s simply getting weird with it. He walks right past any sort of relationship into something deeper; resident sopping wet animal. aro/ace also but this isn’t nearly as relevant as the autism

cubscar/convex: favorite hermitcraft ship and it is not even close. It is NOT EVEN CLOSE. in the way scarian are both covered in lighter fluid and holding matches, convex are also doing that except it’s become a game of who can set the other on fire without being lit up themselves, and they’re both having the times of their lives (ends with both of them on fire every time without fail and it’s usually scar’s fault). they’re insane about it. the vex shit???? insane. their minds are beautiful and deeply wrong. I think they should kill each other.

solidaritimes: I will never forgive Scott smajor for separating scar and Jimmy in secret life he has no idea what he took from me. In a world where Jimmy is often the butt of the joke (by his own volition, I understand) the sheriff deputy thing was fucking beautiful. Sunshine and rainbows, love and support and adoration and everything good and healthy. A massive breath of fresh air and easily my favorite part of the hermitpires crossover. They mean everything to me. I’ve never seen such losers be so in love. Failgirl power.

redscape: another banger. These guys are GOOFY and I think Scar hits a magical combination of being Completely Exasperating vs Setting Off Mumbo’s Bullshit Radar which makes them bounce off each other in a lot of fun ways. They are versatile as a couple between banter and shenanigans and dedication, it’s a pairing I generally think of as very healthy and fun and if you also like all of these things don’t read my Boatem Ghosts AU because I make redscape awful and Mumbo pays the full price! Whoops! I love to think about them falling fast if I am writing them as romantically/sexually inclined characters, where Scar is frustrating but at the same time charming and silly in a way that draws Mumbo in. Mumbo on the other hand challenges Scar and chips away at his facade in ways he finds exciting. I like a Scar that wants to prove himself to Mumbo, win him over, where Mumbo is just lightly exasperated about the whole thing.

cleo/cub: probably the only pair on this list that I think are friends normal style. I just really adore normal style friends cleo and cub feuding about their museums so I had to tell you. I need to write them as friends more often. I love thinking about cub helping cleo fix up her stitches as well as other maintenance on their body. guys who nudity doesn’t matter to they’re both just chilling with their shirts off. special platonic dynamic to me.

ranchers: I don’t care about ranchers

moonrot: I don’t normally ship cleo and pearl in most of the smps or whatever. However. The specific dynamic they have in my boatem ghosts au makes me a little insane I really like them together. Pearl is a little bit deranged in her Wanting Revenge On Scar but ougghg that pirate scar’s hanging out with… she’s so cool… and then Cleo brings them to the ghost island and Pearl thinks she’s even cooler cleo is So Awesome ougghggh and then she gets worried because Scar is a Ultra Murderer TM so she’s quite protective over Cleo and doesn’t like Scar being around them AT ALL but her ass is dead so she’s not doing shit about it. The pining once Scar is out of the picture is Out Of Control. I should write a one shot about this.

ethubs: I think this is the only ship I can honestly say has ever been too weird for me. I think they’re deranged in a way that makes my skin crawl. I am deeply afraid of them. They’ve never kicked it normal style in their lives. I look at them and I don’t know what I’m seeing. It scares me. I respect this ship deeply and leave freshly slaughtered sacrifices at an altar once a week in a hope that will be enough for ethubs to leave me alone.

[shitpostingkats]

What ships do you have for Yu-Gi-Oh! male leads and the Yu-Gi-Oh! series you have seen?

For most of the main characters, I don't really have any ships! Not opposed to an idea of any of them in relationships, but one of the reasons I got into yugioh was the lack of romantic subplots. This being said, I am an utter fiend for starshipping (Jaden x Yusei)

They're two of the most ace aro idiots of all time how are they dating no one knows it doesn't even look like a relationship to most people, but they know each others demons they are foils they are soulmates.... I will yell about this to my dying day. I have an entire aspec romance novel sitting uncompleted in my drafts about this. They just get eachother despite being completely different breeds of people.

Also Jesse having a crush on Jaden and having to get over it and settle into this completely anormative chaos relationship where they're soulmates who aren't dating but are each others' Most Important Person.... Yubel accepting and loving Jaden just the way they are now regardless of promises made in the past.... I see a queerplatonic ship and I go "Mh yes delicious."

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Responding to this post:

No, love. Not every single character has to have a romantic partner to be interesting. It is okay for characters to end up alone. Or not have romantic experiences at all. No matter their sexuality. Aromantic and Asexual characters can exist and be a good representation of the queer community. Not only gay couples represent queer struggle.

---

Preach!

Also, I'd also like to give another facet of this idea: NOT EVERY ALLOROMANTIC/ALLOSEXUAL NEEDS TO BE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. People can be attracted to others but simply choose not to enter relationships because of a variety of reasons: 1) maybe they don't think they'd make a healthy partner and need to focus on their other non-romantic relationships first, 2) being in a romantic relationship isn't in their priorities/values (as opposed to career, family, etc), 3) literally any reason at all.

I hate how one of the only ways to convince a fandom not to ship a character with another is to make the character not attracted to the other's gender--- regardless of whether it's a hetero or homosexual relationship. (im not talking about casual shipping, that's fine with me. im talking about those who get irrationally angry when someone does not agree with their ship, even going as far as harassing the content creators because the ship won't happen).

Because it's possible to have a character whose personality/aspirations do not align with a future romantic relationship. And disregarding this is like disregarding their whole character??

I've seen some creators make their characters/OCs aroace purely to avoid them being shipped with another. (I HATE how that just sounded. Let me be clear that this is NOT criticism towards anyone under the aro and/or ace umbrella. Aromanticism/Asexuality is REAL and valid. This is criticism towards those who have made romantic relationships seem like "THE goal" one should aim for.)

Even making characters siblings or relatives to avoid shipping, even if being an only child/having a small family shaped who they were as a person.

this isn't me screaming at you btw this is me screaming in general. no aggression was intended with the all caps.

i hope this didn't come off as offensive. please let me know if it did.

---------- orchard

Hey! You are totally right with all your points. This is exactly what I am talking about.

Characters are given romantic arcs or stories just to make them interesting without the neccesity of them needing a partner in that particular story. No matter their sexuality. Like you said, people would choose not to be in a relationship for a various of reasons. And that is fine. What I've seen in stories or fanfics is that the character who ends up alone in the end, has a sad ending or is tragic thing to have ended alone. (The phrase: They would find their one eventually. But for now they are happy...)

Which shouldn't be true!

Also, just because a character or some characters don't have romances doesn't mean they fall under the aro / ace / aroace umbrella.

Again, characters that are headcanoned as Aromantic / Asexual or both are most of the time not interesting enough. They are not attractive enough. They are portraited as childish or cold, almost not human. These characters should be interesting enough.

If we are improving the type of queer rep was that the only arc of the gay character was that they were gay, we should improve that for aro/ace/aroace characters as well.

Another important thing you mention. It is annoying that characters are instantly shipped when they have a good relationship or chemistry, without the premise of there being anything romantic between them. I mean, people are allowed to ship whatever they want to ship (regardless if is Canon or not) but we have to practice to see friendships or platonic relationships as well. I don't want to make characters siblings, or for example make them one attracted to another gender, or clarify that they are not romantically involved for them to not be shipped. People tend to just ship whatever they can. Pair characters with characters just because.

I don't know, this is mainly amanormativity's fault. It ruins the way we prioritize relationships. (Thinking the romantic one is more important than others). Just like heteronormativity ruined homosexuality before.

Let's give friendships and queer platonic relationships the importance they deserve as well. Characters should be interesting despite their sexuality, if they get into a relationship or not, or they end up with someone or not.

And if two characters get along, they should not be instantly shipped or pretended to end together. They could have another type of relationship as well.

[anamelessfool]

OC pride asks

For Primo: 6

For you, the writer: 14, 16, 18

OC Pride Asks

I'm 36, and there's a lot of stuff that's new now compared to twenty years ago. I've come into my own and found a label for myself (queer), although I'm personally indifferent to labels. But I think it's important to a lot of people and I support anyone who chooses a label. So that's where I'm coming from, and my characters reflect that.

I have all the characters’ traits in my mind when I write them, but sometimes they just never explicitly come up.

6. How does your OC feel about labels?

I'm no queer history expert but I think we have a wider range of labels now than in the 1960s/70s. Primo didn't even explore much before he returned to the Church. He had a lot of anxiety about attraction before the liberated environment of the Satanic Church of the Void. (His brothers, having been raised in the Church, had no such hangups.) If he were around today he would describe himself as pan.

I suppose his journey reflects my own, a little.

14: Any ace/aro OCs?

Yes! I've had one that was in the first ever story I wrote (and I took it down to work on it.) He’s a Sibling named Friar who works and lives in a satellite Church that Terzo visits just before his forced retirement. He’s a voice of reason character for the main character who has got herself wrapped up in Satanic Church of the Void drama. Nobody ever really explicitly says “hey, I am —-!” But in the way he interacts with everyone is reflective of his total worldview.

16. Did you ever change an OC’s Identity when they were already established?

I did, yes, for plot purposes. I like to have a “straight” (straight like in “straight man” in a comedy sense) person or relationship to oppose a main character or relationship. Like a “ghoul that acts normal around humans/their mission” Edelweiss Ghoul/Earth Ghoul/Alpha Ghoul vs. Omega who falls for his summoner and breaks a lot of rules. That way the reader feels the stakes more and doesn’t make assumptions about characters based on their lot in life, just their personality. These two characters Pamela and Frieda from my next three fics (the pre-retirement Terzo one and two Secondo ones) I turned from sisters to romantically involved. The way they acted around each other and also as a foil for Secondo’s own relationship hangups felt more like a romantic connection than a sibling one. It was a lot more interesting and flexible for me that way, so I changed it.

18: Do you prefer to give your OCs specific labels?

They’re in my head but never specified unless I do a profile of them or someone directly asks me. Also, in regard to the ghouls human ideas of gender and sexuality don’t apply to them. If anything all my ghouls are gender-fluid if we are thinking from human standards. I try to have a lot of different ways to be a ghoul featured in my work so readers get that impression organically. They’re human-shaped because their summoner is human, and there’s multiple ways to be human-shaped and how each ghouls reacts to that is based on their own personality. Aether Ghoul was cis female and she/her in his previous tour 400 years ago, but Edelweiss Ghoul has always been he/him regardless of how his body was constructed at the time. When the ghouls are in their natural astral living space beyond their human-shaped vessels, they are all they/them, and choose the form they wish. And a lot of times the forms are animals or just concepts and not human shaped at all.

Thanks for waiting for my really really long response!

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait! Even though happy mightn't be exactly the right phrasing, I'm so happy that you also HC Saeran as being ace! (or demi)

I've always thought that way too, and it's just so refreshing to see somebody who thinks the same way.

And by that I just mean

...'it' doesn't need to be a necessity in a relationship for it to be happy.

Character pairings and ships these days almost always are focused around it.

It just kind of upsets me in a strange way.

But now for me to have played Mystic Messenger and for the first time actually felt a connection to a character

Honestly I kind of dreaded looking up any sort of fan works for what I might find

But I legitimately ;; I almost began to cry when I read your analyses of Saeran.

Because I've never believed sex to be this super ultra compulsory thing for a relationship to be 'whole'

It just makes me so happy that you also believe that Saeran might be the same. Honestly, like, so happy. Relieved, almost.

I would be content forever just to be with Saeran. Just in his company, just doing stuff together. Enjoying life. And cuddles.

Everyone is entitled to their view of a character. As long as they're not hurting others or themselves, it's perfectly alright. I feel a lot of ways about Saeran Choi that can't be contained to a single post since I'm a person who could talk for hours and hours about him without getting bored, overwhelmed, or running out of content to navigate. If nothing else, I am consistent.

When I think about Saeran, I don't see someone who is necessarily invested in the idea of sexual intimacy. I don't think he's opposed to that with someone he loves, but it's not the first thought on his mind when he thinks about intimacy. He wants to enjoy your company for as long as you'll allow, and no matter what that means, he'll be happy and content with it until the day he dies.

You don't need to have sex to have a complete relationship, nor do you need to want it in the first place. Every relationship for someone looks different, while some people value and desire sex, others may not want it, may feel indifferent to it, or are willing to explore it but it won't be the end all be all of their bond. Everyone is valid in what they decide with their partner, and that is their business to keep.

I'm panromantic and demisexual, actually! So, I saw a lot of myself in Saeran from the get-go. I think what he values more than anything is the ability to be with you. He wants to stand by your side and watch a city of clouds float by. That's his happy place. Does he desire more in this relationship? He has you and he couldn't imagine anything else in this world!

But, if he wants something more, or if you want something more in this dynamic as far as sexual intimacy goes, those are things that you need to talk about and be comfortable with before you explore them. Communication is what matters at the end of the day. Talking about everything works. So, respect what you and your partner want together, and find out what works for every person involved.

Sex, no sex, do whatever you want! Respect what other people want out of love. This blog will always be a safe place for aces, aros, demis, etc. Whether you're sex-repulsed or not, you always deserve respect and care.

[justagirlinacape]

Here’s a in-depth explanation of my gender and sexuality because I’m afraid to tell anyone irl.

Sexuality: first and foremost I am aro-ace. I experience no sexual attraction at all and I’m fairly sure I don’t have romantic attraction as well but it’s hard to tell sometimes. Definitely somewhere in that spectrum though. I have really strong platonic feelings toward some people and depending on the person also strong sensory attraction. Sometimes I really want to be friends with someone but the idea of them touching me makes me want to vomit. I’m not necessarily opposed to being in a romantic relationship, but I also am not entirely sure what makes a relationship romantic (if anyone wants to explain this to me, please do!) I think a qpr would be a better option then a romantic relationship just because of the fluidity that comes with it. I definitely feel aesthetic attraction and get a feeling when I see a pretty person. I also watch thirst traps some times, but honestly I just do it cause they have cool outfits. I get the same feeling by looking up aesthetic outfits on Pinterest or seeing cool outfits on manikins in stores.

Gender: gender is confusing and I hate it. Not really but seriously why is this so hard to figure out. I’m AFAB and for most of my life have never had a problem being cis, until all of a sudden shit started happening like a sudden uncomfort with she her pronouns or my name, and occasionally my body though not as much really. And then it changes sometimes, like I’ll be super very much a girl one day and would rather stick my head in a pit of snakes then be a girl the next. I haven’t ever wanted to be a man, so I have thought about some form of nonbinary, but that doesn’t feel right either. At this point I have given up on trying to find a good label to describe it and focusing on pronouns. She/her is sometimes good, and learning about neos has also been helpful and sometimes I like to go by voi/void/voids or sometimes it/it’s. And everything keeps changing which is very annoying. The changing makes me think gender fluid, but them I think like, my gender doesn’t really fluid, it more vibrates. If you put a point on a price of paper that was girl, my gender would be moving just a little bit off of it in all directions and also go through it some of the time and just sort of stay woman or woman adjacent, but never really move very far through the gender spectrum. Most days I just ignore it and if something makes me uncomfortable I just cry lol.

[agentmilocade]

I've just been going through my Quarterly re-evaluation of my sexuality, and come to the realisation that some of my previous conclusions may have been misinterpretations of my interests:

I am still very much sexually attracted to masculine men, and I can now also confirm that I am romantically attracted to this same group. Having identified as aro-ace not too long ago, this is a little frustrating, as I don't handle change very well. I am now in two minds about my needs, and may need to carefully consider the idea of a relationship (although, in terms of practicality, this is still not something to which I really want to commit emotional resources).

Further confusion arises when I consider what attraction I may or may not be experiencing towards women.

I do like to look at images of women's bodies, and would not be opposed to touching. This is also a very recent development (within the last 8-9 months). But I am feeling some confusion about it, as I don't become aroused at the thought. It's more like a sense of curiosity. As such, I don't know if I can actually class myself as bisexual.

Maybe there is another term for a gay man who is open to the idea of sex with women?

As much as it feels a bit like a cheat code, the umbrella term "queer" will have to do for now.

[sentientgopro]

On the topic of transness and the whole aroace thing. Idk if I can be of particular help, while I personally am allosexual and alloromantic (I think), I have a weird relationship to attraction (and gender) and I'm also polyamorous, so generally outside of the norm for how attraction works. Plus, I have several connections (partners, friends, a sibling, etc.) who are on the ace and/or aro spectrum. Which is why I had way too many thoughts on this topic, unfortunately none of them scientifically backed. I'm not a sociologist, but interpersonal relationships are somewhat of a special interest for me.

I'm warning you now, this is probably gonna get messy and long (even though I'll try to keep it as short as I can), but I like sharing.

This point might be the most relatable and applicable to your situation. I have a friend who used to identify as agender and asexual (don't remember if also aromantic, it's been years) who then realized she's a trans woman and a lesbian, which was very surprising and weird for her as well. The way she rationalized it was that within her own self-perception she couldn't see herself as someone who would be in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone else, but gaining more acceptance for herself and her own identity, the idea of her being someone who loves and is loved seemed more realistic and desirable. She's not 100% sure either, though. But there is a possibility of internally rejecting attraction as a sort of self-defense mechanism due to a lack of self-acceptance. That doesn't invalidate aroace identities, but I think both of these ideas can and do coexist.

It may be important to also remember here that first of all, both asexuality and aromanticism exist on a spectrum and secondly that they refer to attraction rather than behavior or desire for tangible circumstances. Asexual/aromantic people can still enthusiastically participate in sex/romance, the main point is that they don't experience sexual/romantic attraction for specific people (or only under specific circumstances if we move around on the spectrum). My longterm partner is asexual (but not aromantic), but will participate in sexual activities with me because they love me and it's a pleasurable activity. They find me aesthetically attractive, and may even find certain behavior or body parts arousing, but they're not sexually attracted to me as a person. In fact, sexual attraction doesn't even cross their mind unless prompted. Another more recent connection is aromantic (but not asexual), but doesn't mind participating in traditionally romantic activities and physical non-sexual affection with me, but just doesn't experience crushes/romantic attraction towards people. The entire concept seems a bit hard to understand for them. They "love" me, but conceptualize it mostly as very strong platonic feelings, as far as I can understand. (At this point it might be good to note that I have the most ironic luck at finding partners/connections as someone who experiences very strong sexual and romantic attraction.) My sibling is on the aroace spectrum, but still desires companionship and partnership (cupioromantic has been used as a label before, but not consistently). Romantic and sexual attraction are all just very wibbly wobbly weird concepts in general, just like gender, honestly. Nothing really matters ultimately, but also it kinda does? It's all very silly how much importance society puts on these things, especially when you deviate from the norm.

You asked "Are there different kinds of romance?" and I raise you "What is romance even?". To date I have not been able to come to a conclusion or been given a good answer to that. Ask 10 people and you get 10 different answers. As soon as you divorce the premises of sexual attraction and monogamy from romance, it becomes nigh impossible to even start to define. For a lot of people these seem to be defining factors of romance (as opposed to platonic love). In fact, my current running theory is that romance, on its own, is a social and cultural construct (especially if you look at historic conceptions of it). Nevertheless, romantic attraction is still a feeling I experience, and it feels different than strictly platonic love or even sexual attraction. Best I can do for a description is give general vibes. I cannot even strictly define it for myself. But I have people that I have romantic feelings for without them being sexual. I can be sexually attracted to people I don't harbor romantic feelings for. I even have romantic feelings for people I don't desire a relationship with. It feels a bit like RGB color sliders sometimes, but I think it's even more multidimensional than that. It's honestly kind of frustrating to me. But honestly, yeah, people are multidimensional and we experience the same concepts in different ways. Which actually leads me to my next point:

Being polyamorous and having people with different sexual and romantic orientations taught me that relationships, at the core of it and once you free yourself from social norms, are entirely customizable and don't have to be perfectly symmetrical. I can have romantic/sexual feelings for someone while they don't have those for me and that's okay. We agree on the activities we want to experience together and the ways we'd like to interact and then it's alright. Of course, it's more complicated than that and you do run into conflict/resentment on the way, but as long as you keep and open mind, stay flexible, and are willing, you can establish and experience great and fulfilling interpersonal relationships outside of the norm. Sometimes they don't last, and that's also okay as long as you do your best to have a good time. What I'm saying is, the rules are all made up. Do what you want. Just gotta find the right people. That's not always easy, but it's incredibly worth it.

Anyway, I hope my messy ramblings contributed something and if not, I'm sorry for taking up your time (English is my third language, so my sentences can get a bit too long, I think). Obviously, my point of view is very colored by my own circumstances (notably non-monogamy), but sometimes it helps to look at things from outside of the box.

Hope you have a pleasant life and that you either find the answers you seek or learn to make peace with not knowing.

Yeah, thank's for the help! If you take a quick look at my profile, youll quickly see Im no stranger to long posts, lmao, I love em.

I do think that not being happy with who I am could absolutely be a factor in this. I think it feeds into a general lack of understanding of relationships. I might feel romantic attraction, I dont understand what that feeling is to know whether I feel it or not, so I based my judgement on desire for a relationship.

But I think the main part of it is a combination of not understanding romance and lack of self respect. Its like, if I dont understand what romantic love is, I cant see myself as being lovable? And to me, a big part of my newly discovered desired relationship is emotional support. So I look at that, see it as a desireable aspect of someone, and know I am absolutely incapable of giving it to other people. There are other examples like that, but basically, I dont understand relationships, I consider what I would want out of one, and dont think I have that.

My main takeaway from reading this is I just cant know yet, can I? Im aroace now, these labels fit now, when I start transitioning Ill do whatever. If I get into a relationship, would it be romantic, platonic, Queerplatonic, etc, it really just doesn't matter, its just a relationship and we'd do what we wanted. I'm getting too hung up on figuring things out that are A. Impossible to figure out before I reach the point where it happens and B. Not necessary to figure out.

As for asexuality, Im gonna tread lightly, but yeah, I think I might be some shade of grey ace. If I was in a romantic relationship already I would almost definately wanna be involved that way.

But yeah, your response was really helpful, thank you! I really just shouldn't worry so much, you helped me realise that.

[titanbabyeams]

Actually, I need to talk about this more. It’s officially pride month and, hi! I’m aro/ace. I’m normally pretty okay with it but sometimes I just get these feelings of… overwhelming inadequacy? Like, I’ll never have just a normal relationship. And that’s so difficult. That’s hard!! I’m tired of pretending like it’s not!

I’ve admittedly projected slightly onto Norm with my own headcanon that he’s on the asexual spectrum. I say spectrum because I don’t think that he’s entirely opposed to sexual activities I just think there’s… apprehension.

I’ve written nearly 4000 words, in-between everything else I’ve been doing, of exploring the idea of Norm & asexuality & being able to explore it in a ‘giving’ way and not a ‘receiving’ way. Him coping with the weird dichotomy of being so explicitly uncomfortable with sexuality and yet being equally as intrigued by it when it comes to The Ghoul is just so… god. And then The Ghoul simply respecting Norm’s boundaries because he’s a terrible person but he’s not a monster…

I am screaming this into a void because I just know no one in my life would be able to match my energy on this.

okay but how insane would I be if I admitted I was curious about the ship dynamic between The Ghoul & Norm?

The only issue I foresee is that, in my head, Norm is the younger brother and cannot possibly be over 22 years old… but boy, does that little worm in my brain bring up the ship every time I write.

Sometimes I just think it’d be so interesting? Norm has gained some backbone by the end of the series and I really think he wouldn’t be afraid to just… say what he thinks to The Ghoul’s face. He’d also have none of that ‘Vault Dweller Goodness’ that The Ghoul has associated with Lucy. There’d be a strange combination of respect and animosity… plus, I think he’d appreciated Norm’s dry humor.

Imagine: Lucy & The Ghoul are traveling together and Norm joins them at some point. Norm is keeping records of all the Wasteland creatures he comes across because he’s genuinely interested in how the surface has affected things and people…

…which leads him to asking rather probing questions to The Ghoul. Does he have genitalia? How long did the process take to become a ghoul? Are they experiencing radiation exposure just by traveling with him or do they have to be in closer proximity? Is he semen irradiated?

Purely scientific, of course, but The Ghoul would turn it right back on him and ask if he wants to experiment to learn these things.

Norm is disturbed, initially, cue crisis…

Who knows who knows.

[aroaceconfessions]

Being an aroace person who is completely fine with sex makes it difficult to fit into the community. I like reading smut and I am not opposed to the idea of having sex one day. I love the idea of romance and relationships and would like to have one with platonic love. I have an aesthetic attraction to multiple genders and may appear to be 'thirsting' over them.

The sexual and romantic attraction I feel is 0. Unfortunately, because I am not sex-repulsed, some people aren't able to understand that. This sometimes makes me feel invalid and has affected my perception of myself. I feel less aroace than my sex-repulsed ace friend even though she isn't aro.

Most aroace spaces, follow the narrative aroace people are sex-repulsed even though that isn't the only viewpoint. It's essential that aroace people who are sex and romance positive don't feel pushed away from a community and label that they feel comfortable in just because of their preference.

[epitheterasedgen]

heck it. self-indulgence time.

✨EE aspec headcanons✨

(obviously, romance mentions below! a few of the characters are Token Allos (TM))

Molly: the aroace kid who's always like "yeah I don't really get romance but I guess I'll get it when I'm older" and keeps saying that until she's almost 30 and finally someone's like "wow you've never dated before?! are you aro/ace?" and she's like "oh huh I guess I probably am" and then it's never a big deal again

she's also super grossed out by the concept of sex, even well into adulthood, which is Yet Another Reason why it is absolutely perfect for Percy to adopt her because it's just a topic that Never comes up in their household

Sylvie: honestly the only character I don't have a solid grasp on in terms of attraction, though I HC swap!Sylvie as alloaro so I guess canon Sylvie is probably the same, it's just not relevant yet since he's young and a late bloomer in terms of hormones. plus he's just focused on his work more than anything else

Gio: I fear what Jello is going to do to him in the future, bc this boy gives off the MOST oblivious aromantic vibes EVER and I know Jello's track record. but listen idc what happens in canon, Giovanni's dream future is to live with all his Boys as platonic housemates and he has no idea he's aro because romance literally isn't something he even THINKS about. he's probably also ace with the same reasoning

Mera: my Token Allo (TM). she's a die-hard hopeless romantic and moronsexual, but that's not really headcanon that's just canon I mean cmon—

Indus: it took me a stupidly long time to realize that my interpretation of Indus is just "romance-positive partnering aro" because that's not a genre I dip into a lot but it sure fits him. he doesn't really! understand romance?? or actually feel "romantic" attraction. but he likes Lady Mera and he'd do anything to make her happy! :D so if she wants him to bring her flowers and a candlelit dinner, he'll do it!! she just better be prepared for him to pick a bunch of dandelion weeds and accidentally set the table on fire

...actually now that I'm typing this out, it explains why Mera/Indus bothers me so much less than other ships aghasdkflgh

Percy: realistically she's just the Oblivious Aroace (TM) along with Giovanni. same as Gio she has no idea she's aroace because it's just not even something she Thinks about, but if someone gave her a vocabulary lesson she'd be like "oh yes that fits me :)" and continue to not perceive romantic advancements even if they hit her in the face. she's already married to JUSTICE, sorry everyone <3

(I portray her as more apothiromantic/romance-repulsed on my RP blog but that's just because projecting onto Percy is cheaper than therapy)

Ramsey: ok highkey my headcanons on Ramsey shift depending on the AU (don't ask how many AUs I have hahaha) but normally he falls somewhere in the range of "allo ally" who Knows All The Terms (from spending so much time online) and is probably the person who gives Percy a vocabulary lesson despite being allo himself

Zora: as much as I'd LOVE to see an aspec Zora, I think she'd look and act a bit different from canon Zora. I swear I didn't mean to make both main antagonists the Token Allos, but they're also the ones most fans want to date so y'know what, whatever. I personally think cowboys are overrated but y'all go crazy

Howie: CANON AROACE KING... specifically I imagine him as anti-romance, not because it repulses him, but because all that time you waste on "love" could be used for DOING YOUR JOB!!! (in a serious setting I'd say Howie isn't ideal aro rep bc he embodies a lot of negative stereotypes about aros, but EE is a comedy and people need to lighten up about the fact that EVERYONE is gonna have weirdly exaggerated personality traits; the show literally wouldn't be funny if they didn't; seriously guys leave Jello alone about the rep)

Meryl: ok she's not in EE but this is MY blog and I pick the comfort characters! anyway Meryl experiences a lot of alterous attraction AKA she has trouble distinguishing between very different forms of attraction (platonic/romantic/sensual/sexual/ect.) and they all just sorta blur together into one big Anxious Mess (TM). as opposed to Percy and Gio, she spends a LOT of time thinking about this and trying to figure out What she's feeling, but it never helps and at this point she's pretty much given up trying. she just needs a hug ok

in various AUs I've put her in romantic, platonic, QPP, and co-parental relationships, and she's pretty much happy with whatever :)

Eros: I feel the need to include him because I included Meryl, also bc while he is allo as heck and has definitely dated in the past, he's also just a super uplifting guy who uses flirting as a form of affection and to make people feel good. he's one of those "somehow weirdly pure" characters because he's so unabashed about everything and most of his flirting is sphallolalia, which is one of my new favorite words I just learned and means "flirting that leads nowhere." he also just has a deep appreciation for a good laugh, and a lot of his joke wells are pickup lines!

[aro-culture-is]

Am I aroace?

Hi I’m just trying to figure this out

So I guess I feel attraction to people? But it’s like I don’t like intimacy at all and I always say everyone is ugly so people don’t think I like anyone

I just hate the idea of intimacy, but am not completely opposed to it but I don’t even know. I can say someone is hot but like me imagining myself in a relationship or being romantic is disgusting to me despite ONE exception

I just don’t know

Hi! I’m a little unsure how best to interpret parts of this, so I’ll do my best to give you some guidance. That said, I can’t tell you anything for certain - it’s your identity.

You say you feel attraction to people - do you split your attraction? If so, is it romantic, sexual, or both? Does it occur only rarely or in specific circumstances? If the answer to that final question is yes, you’re probably a-spec. If you experience little to no romantic attraction, you’re probably aro-spec, and likewise for sexual attraction and ace-spec. One exception would definitely fall under “rarely” imo.

The fact that you say imagining yourself in a romantic situation sounds disgusting to you would suggest to me that you experience romance repulsion. While I don’t think this is something only aro-spec folks can experience, I’d say it’s a pretty strong indicator that you are aro-spec - I haven’t seen alloromantic folks commonly experience it.

I’m unsure what type of intimacy you’re referring to. I initially started to answer this with the perspective of it being emotional intimacy, before suddenly realizing you could mean sex. If it’s the former, that isn’t a great basis for judging a-spec identities off of. If it’s the latter, I think I’m understanding that you mean that you find sex repulsive? And that you don’t find people sexually attractive, though you can generally judge their attractiveness? Assuming that interpretation, I could also see you identifying as asexual.

I do want to note: saying everyone is ugly is perhaps a statement that you may want to reexamine. There is a difference between saying that seeing people nude is repulsive to you, and saying that people are ugly. I suspect, if my judging that intimacy = sex in your ask is correct, that this may have been your intention.

- mod kee

disclaimer under readmore:

Hi, I'm an internet stranger. I am one person. I will speak from my personal perspective. I happen to be more visible in the aro community than some, and this puts me in a unique position where I am asked many types of questions. I will do my best, but I am not representative of all aromantic people, or even my specific identities of non-sam or loveless. Sometimes, I might say something and later disagree with that stance. Treat me as the unqualified stranger I am.

[lemonii-love]

So this project represents a lot for me. 

I haven’t seen it or touched it in months; I can’t even remember the last time I worked on it. 

Originally, it was intended to be a gift for my partner. Her favorite color is purple, and since she lived across the pond (I’m in California, she’s in the UK), I wanted to knit her something to make her think of me - not that that was ever an issue, as we talked everyday for the entire length of our friendship. 

Even though we never met, we had this plan that eventually we would, we would get married, find a house in the country side, live the whole cottagecore dream. It made sense; there’s no one I’ve ever clicked with more than her. We were a perfect match in so many aspects, and to this day, I don’t think anyone has ever understood me the way she did. 

But in February of this year, she broke up with me. 

I use that phrase very liberally. We were never actually dating, at least not from my point of view. But during the end of our friendship that was a constant point of stress; she wanted more, but I didn’t want to tie her, or myself, to something that couldn’t happen until years into the future. And to make matters worse, during our time together I realized I may be aromantic. I wish I’d known going into it, then I could have saved us both a lot of heart ache, but I’d never had a serious relationship before. 

In the beginning she tried to be supportive. I started to realize I may be aromantic about a year before I actually told her, and the realization was crushing. I didn’t want to be aromantic. I wanted to be normal, to have the life we dreamed of together, and this made me feel like we never could. It was months and months of me trying to prove to myself I couldn’t possibly be aro, and then even more months of me talking to other aro people, trying to come to terms with it and understand what it meant for me. And, more importantly, what it meant for Her. 

I think one of the worst part of being aro, as opposed to being ace, is how She reacted to it. If I had been ace, she would have been fine. Ace means no sex, or maybe only sometimes, and that was something she could respect. What she couldn’t live with was the idea that I didn’t love her enough. And it didn’t matter that that wasn’t true - I’ve never loved anyone like I loved her. For two years, I talked to her what felt like all day every day. I told her anything and everything about myself, things I could never tell anyone else. I poured so much of my life into Her. 

But it wasn’t enough. Because I was aromantic, and she couldn’t see the difference between how I felt about her, and how I felt about my best friend. I tried to explain it everyway I knew how from my little bit of experience, I showed her the split attraction model and tried to make her understand the difference, but she just... couldn’t. And it was awful. It made me feel awful, for hurting her, and for the way she hurt me, made me feel like my love would never be enough for her, even when I gave her all I had to give. 

For all her talk about love, how there are so many different kinds, she really doesn’t understand it at all. If she did, she wouldn’t have grown to resent me, she would have seen how much I loved her, even if it was different from the way she loved me. 

But I think the biggest tragedy, is that it never had to happen in the first place. We didn’t need to break up because we were never dating. At least, that’s what I thought. And whenever it came up, I made sure to gently remind her that I saw us as friends, and that I didn’t want her restricting herself to only me. it wasn’t fair to either of us. She always insisted she knew, she wasn’t stupid, she just didn’t want anyone else, but the pressure of knowing she was entirely devoted to me was suffocating. 

I realized later, long after the final fight that ended things between us permanently, that she spent the last several months of our relationship lying to me. I could pinpoint the exact day when her resentment began to fester and build, until it finally culminated on February 17th; ironically during aro awareness week.

It was October 18th. Half an hour before my Statistics class, we were talking as usual. She mentioned her mother who asked if the two of us were dating, and I made some comment I don’t even remember, but I’m sure you can guess meant something along the lines of, “You know we’re not together.” She agreed, but her tone was completely different, and then she stopped talking to me all together. For the rest of the day, and the next. I tried to continue messaging her here and there, but she ignored me, until I finally gave up. She agreed, but in February, she put the final nail in the coffin when she said, “I was only telling you what you wanted to hear.”

And that completely shattered my world. Months of our relationship had been built on lies. She told me that from the day I told her I thought I was aromantic, she knew we wouldn’t stay together. Long before that she told me that whatever happened, romantic relationship or not, we would always be friends. And then she destroyed that too. 

Sometimes I wish i was ace instead. People in our community are so much more willing to accept that over aros. Because it’s fine to not want sex, but God forbid you don’t feel love. At least, not the way someone else wants you to. It doesn’t matter if the love you feel is everything to you, it will never be enough to them. To Her. 

I loved her so much, for so long, that when she left, it felt like she took all of me with her. I gave her everything and there was nothing left for me. I’m nothing like who I was before. 

It took me months to scrape the pieces of my life back together. I went to school, I somehow managed to pass my classes, I even started making a few friends, before the quarantine. I managed to finally start working in May with the job I’d been working towards for two years. I’m not the same, and I doubt I ever will be - the first major heartbreak will do that to you - but I’m getting better, 

And then she decides to drunk text me out of the blue, and it’s like I’d lost all of that progress I made. As soon as I saw her name flash across my screen I felt my stomach twist up in knots. I was cold and shaking with the worst anxiety attack I’d had in months. And all it took was a single text. I didn’t even have to read it, just see her name. 

There were more, of course, she couldn’t leave it at just one. I somehow found the strength not to respond, even though I’ve thought about texting her every day since our break up. In the beginning I wanted to apologize - even though I didn’t know what for, aside for being who I am - and then I wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me, and then I just wanted to know why. But I didn’t. Because I promised her I wouldn’t. And then she decides the fragile rules that she set between us, didn’t apply to her. That she has the right to come in and out of my life as it suits her, with no regard for how hard I’ve had to work to get over her. 

But I didn’t respond, and she deleted the messages, and I still don’t know what, if anything, to say. I want to ask her if she’s trying to hurt me. I want to tell her not to drunk text me, because I hated it before and I hate it now, and it was her drunk texting that started this all, long before I realized I was aro and she realized she couldn’t live with it. 

I gave her everything I was and more, and now all I have is this half-finished blanket in Her favorite color, and I don’t know what to do with it anymore. 

[den-gamle-kartograf]

Probably the single biggest epiphany I’ve had in the last month or two is just how much I HATE performing gender in TTRPGs, and how all of my favorite characters to create and to play have existed outside human(oid) gender conceptions, and how hard it is for me to enjoy roleplaying explicitly gendered characters.

One of my current characters is a lizardfolk. Technically male, but the way I’ve interpreted lizardfolk culture there are no gender distinctions beyond “lays eggs” and “fertilizes eggs” and I’m the only lizardfolk in the campaign so far so even that isn’t relevant. I’m sure my character is Perceived as male, but it’s never once actually been remarked upon. And it feels incredibly liberating.

Now I’m prepping for a new campaign in a homebrew setting based around Gundam-style mechas in space, and I’m going all in on creating an agender character whose whole thing is rejection of both individually unique characteristics and the physical body itself. It’s my first time playing an explicitly non-cis character and I’m pretty nervous about it but also curious whether it will provide me with the same sort of positive experience. I’m not out to anyone except (as of tomorrow) the DM and it’s important that I stay that way.

This character’s style is pretty dramatically different from my lizardfolk - reserved and clearly traumatized, as opposed to having no filter and saying Stuff One Must Left Unsaid in the most straightforward way possible. I’m worried about my ability to pull that off convincingly. Most of my public-facing offline persona involves masking trauma and unpleasantness, so I’m not sure what it will be like to roleplay someone doing that same masking and (hopefully) letting the mask slip as the campaign progresses.

At this point I don’t even begin to know how to describe my relationship with gender, or my “real” gender identity (if that’s even a thing) underneath all the structures I’ve built and experiences I’ve had and masks I’ve put up. I know I have an antagonistic relationship with masculinity even as I cling to it both out of inertia and because it’s necessary for holding my life as I currently know it together. I know how I’d answer the “unlimited magic wands” question (but not the “one magic wand” question) but I also know that I live in a world in which magic wands do not exist. I’m on a medication that has taken my brushes with ace/aro identity and turned it up to eleven, and has significantly altered my gender identity as well, and I still haven’t fully reckoned with the fact that something so seemingly fundamental can be so easily altered. I have less than no idea how this interacts with my full suite of barely- or mis-treated mental illnesses. I am equal parts Fuck Gender and I Demand Gender. I am in fundamental disagreement with myself.

[dr-ishigami]

Senku, What happened to you?!!

Why is Senku so closed off to love/feelings?

I mean, all of the girls who’ve expressed interest in him were met with a variation of “love is irrational, relationships are “troublesome” and he ain’t wrong. But like, how did he arrive at this conclusion?

“He’s not into girls,” you might say, but we haven’t seen him react any differently to dudes. It seems his lack of interest encompasses all people.

I totally support the idea that when it comes to Gen, the mentalist is ten billion percent DEHYDRATED! Like, you can’t tell me he ain’t.

But Senku does not give a damn. I think he knows too, but since he’s already been up fromt about his views, he figures Gen respects that like everyone else who’s shown interest. I really don’t see his development towards Gen as romantic. I mean he started out thinking Gen’s ideas were BS, any progress is good progress when the respect is that low. Savage Senku is best Senku.

“His girl is science-chan.” Yes. But people can have a hobby/passion in life and still have feelings for someone. Of course relationships would be very distracting and would hinder his scientific progress, but, knowing Senku, I feel like he would just straight up say that. He’s so direct!

“He’s oblivious, cause he’s the protagonist.” Not at all.

If he were aro/ace, he’d simply say he’s not interested, or does not feel the need to indulge. But It’s evident that he strongly opposes the idea of romance. He had a very supportive dad so I doubt he ever had the need to hide anything. Byakuya is BEST DAD ok?!!

Come to think of it, as I wrote this post, I realized that it’s not just love he brushes off to the side like that. Whenever someone thanks him or acknowledges his prowesss he credits other people and drives the attention away from himself. I mean he wasn’t even there to celebrate him becoming chief. (For obvious reasons but still).

It’s almost like he uses science as a buffer and that’s why he’s so good at it?

Is he ok?

Am I thinking too much about this? Yeah probably.