#and maybe I wrote the song for me

[bookwormscififan]

Lighter With Me Here

Read on AO3!

A/N: I had this idea to write something fluffy and non-sexual with Mare giving Mad a nice bath because he's had a bad day... and ended up kind of projecting myself into this scenario.

--

Mare wiggled his fingers under the stream of water, pulling away when the water was warm enough and plugging the tub. He pulled lavender bath soap from under the sink, adding it to the water before setting it aside, reaching for a sponge and a face towel.

Mad had returned home from his walk in a bad mood, skulking around the house with a frown on his face and eyes on the verge of tears. When cuddles by the fire and a new book didn’t lift his mood, Mare decided a warm and calming bath might help lift Mad’s spirits, carrying him to their room and starting the water running.

“Alright, love, up we get,” he whispered, gently lifting Mad to sit up, slowly removing his clothes before carrying him to the bathroom and setting him in the tub. He held Mad’s face in one hand, turning it so he could kiss Mad deeply before letting him go, putting the sponge into his hand and stepping back to undress.

“Why do you care so much?” Mad asked, not looking up from where he was methodically squeezing the sponge under the water, barely reacting as Mare climbed into the bath behind him, pulling him in close to rest his back against his chest. “Why do you work so hard to make me feel good?”

“Humans feel a lot of things,” Mare began quietly, slowly beginning to wipe down Mad with the face towel. “Despite the world promoting a positive mentality, there are a lot of people who feel down. It isn’t possible to completely heal from the down feelings, but there must be times when the feelings can be lifted enough to function.”

“But why me? What draws you to me to the point you’re willing to spend days with me when I don’t want anything to do with the world?” Mad insisted, blindly drawing shapes onto Mare’s thigh beneath the water as Mare carefully spread soap over him.

“Because you’re perfect for me,” Mare replied, giving Mad’s cheek a kiss before following it with a swipe of his thumb. “The riddle of my being is chaos, and you bring the right amount of order to keep things right. It breaks my heart to see you feeling so low that you’re barely speaking.”

Mad took a moment to consider Mare’s answer, leaning his head back against Mare’s shoulder and embracing his warmth. He closed his eyes with a sigh as Mare gently rinsed off the soap with the sponge, covering him with warm water that made him drowsy and less depressed.

“You’re trying not to answer with just a simple ‘I love you’, and I appreciate that,” he started, taking hold of one of Mare’s hands and lifting it to entwine their fingers together. “I love that you don’t try to completely lift my spirits, just lift them enough for me to talk again, and I’m grateful to be able to come home to you whenever something’s gone wrong.” He kissed the back of Mare’s hand before letting the drowsiness take over, resting against Mare’s body and sighing.

“Let’s get you dried off and clothed,” Mare chuckled, gently leaning Mad forward so he could get out of the tub, lifting Mad out after him and wrapping him in a fluffy towel. “People are wired differently, and I do worry sometimes that I might sound redundant if I keep justifying things with the simple ‘I love you’. I want to be able to remain that flutter in your heart whenever you think of me, your first thought in the morning and your last at night. Bad moods happen, and I just want to make those days the most comfortable for you.”

Mad listened to Mare’s words as he dried him off, picking at his fingernails as he blinked back tears. He sniffled when Mare dried off his hair, curling his toes in the bathroom mat to ground himself as he waited for Mare to dry himself, then curled into Mare’s chest as the musician carried him to the bed.

Mare dressed them in silence, waiting for Mad to initiate more conversation as he quietly slipped a fluffy sweater over his head. He held a glass of water to Mad’s lips, watching the scientist take a few gulps before setting the glass on the side table, helping Mad under the covers. Climbing in after him, Mare arranged the pillows so he could rest against the headboard with space for Mad to curl up against him if he wanted.

Mad immediately curled into Mare’s side, resting his head over his chest, laying his hand flat over his heart. Mare draped his arm over Mad’s shoulders, tracing patterns into his upper arm as he softly began to hum.

Breathe deep, I can feel you weep.

When the black clouds gather over your head,

I will be here to lull you to sleep.

I know things won’t magically disappear,

There is no cure for when life seems wrong.

I can offer my support, my love, wipe your tears,

Because maybe things will be lighter with me here.

His shirt was slowly getting soaked with Mad’s silent tears, but Mare didn’t care as he sang quietly, continuing to draw patterns into Mad’s arm while Mad took his free hand in his own, tangling their fingers together and holding tight. After some time, when the moon had risen high in the sky and the wet patch on Mare’s chest had gone ice cold, Mare closed his eyes to sleep, feeling Mad’s breathing become steady and deep, sleep finally granting him peace.

--------------------------------

@iamvegorott @brokentimewatch @dungeon-dragons-dragons @rattyboyisemo

[indieyuugure]

(For those who don’t know, the song is “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails)

This was probably funnier in my head…

(Please excuse my awful handwriting)

[mayrine]

wha- WHAT

imagine this: ranboo dies lovejoy starts playing

[adhdtsukasa]

prosekai au where everything is absolutely the same except niigo, instead of being a music circle, is a fanfiction writing-ish group. kanade is a writer, mafuyu is her beta reader, ena makes fancomics based on kanade's fanworks and mizuki makes trailers for upcoming fics. and basically that's it. niigo lore but everything revolves around them being wattpad ao3 users

[emily-mooon]

So honey take me by the hand, and we can sign some papers

Forget the invitations, floral arrangements, and breadmakers!

[callixton]

actually the really disconcerting thing abt this program is that i can feel my priorities in life changing. i’m slowly moving away from have the best arts career at all costs to needing to make art i care about and having enough money to have a life with the people who i love most

[foldingfittedsheets]

My dads hobby is writing songs and playing guitar. It’s his special interest. His music isn’t for me, I’m not sure if that’s as a result of hearing incessant guitar noodling when I lived at home or his overall vibe.

He is negative percent good at taking feedback. When told he sounds better not singing falsetto his next several songs were all falsetto. When saying he mumbles his lyrics and sings too fast to actually understand he just disagrees.

He’ll play open mics and stuff and it makes him happy. Generally even though I have no idea what he’s on about I’ll just make vaguely supportive noises and I don’t try to give feedback. If he’s happy, whatever.

Several months ago while grabbing lunch he started telling me about his new song. It’s about a homeless man. I grew wary at once. My parents are vaguely misinformed liberals and I did not like to think what he, a very well off white man, had thrown together on the subject.

He read out the lyrics, verses romanticizing living on the street, with increasingly vulgar descriptions of how smelly and ugly this man was, and a tag line about how he’d give you the shirt off his back because he was so generous.

I started vibrating with emotion but I tried to ask what his message was. What did he actually want to convey about homeless people? He shrugged and said he didn’t have one, that the song was just meant to think about homeless people.

I tried with increasing desperation to steer him in any other course and he just dug his heels in and told me it was good and he wouldn’t change any lyrics. He’d only shared them to get praises and wasn’t interested in adjustment. In a temper I challenged him to go sing that to a homeless person and see what they thought of this bullshit view of their hardships.

It was rough. The lunch ended in brittle silence. He is incapable of dropping subjects and responds with sullen brooding if people refuse to keep arguing.

Since then every get together he insists he needs to play it for me. That hearing the melody will change my mind. I ask if he’s changed the lyrics and he goes into a huge huff.

We all went to see The Boy and the Heron tonight and he griped that I was judging him. I insisted we drop the subject and now I’m wracking my brain to find some way to lay the issue to rest. Changing his mind is almost certainly impossible and I’m not going to lie and say I think it’s good, but I’m sick of this.

[xcziel]

has anybody else thought about how jk could easily manage sofia's parts of slow dance or is it just me?

[bluesunflowers21]

I have no posts and no followers so this probably won’t see the light of day, but it’s 1:53 am and I’m up reading yumihisu fanfics from 2014 and I just had this thought I needed to share.

Does anyone ever read these older fics and just think about their age? It’s almost like time travel, right? You’re looking into a time in fandom where so many things hadn’t happened yet, secrets not yet revealed, ship wars that have yet to exist. To see a ship you hold close because even if it’s painful in canon it was the first you ever saw that matched who you were in some small way, and it’s young again. It’s all new, and the angst hasn’t hit, and the tragedy isn’t tragic yet.

And then I look at the comments. 2013, 2014, 2017, 2018. All are people, who at one time or another, have read the exact same work I have, and have enjoyed it enough to make a comment. And it’s not just fanfic either, it’s YouTube comments, it’s old vine compilations, it’s late 90s and early 2000s music. It goes beyond nostalgia, it is for just a moment, seeing peaks into peoples lives in a more in-depth way than any history book I have ever read. It is a diary of humanity when things were easier, when we were all young and bright eyed and full of hope.

I feel that since Covid, even before it, the world has been so dull. Colors are faded, and sounds are muted, and smiles aren’t as wide anymore. But tonight, even if for one moment, I caught a glimpse of what once was. I saw the beginning of a world I had just discovered over 10 years ago. I saw a hole in history, and I remembered myself. I remembered humanity. I remember when I cared about people beyond a surface level, when I had empathy and sympathy carved so deep into my heart that I bled comfort and love. I remembered the little things, the fallen log in the woods behind my papas house, just past the field that was decided by and electric pole, and the hill covered in cherry blossoms that I dug arrow heads up from, I remembered my wooden easel that I painted when I ran out of paper, and my bed frame that was once white and ended in an array of pastel colors. I remember when I liked pink and purple like the walls of my bedroom before first grade. I remembered when I started to hate pink and purple. I remembered the bullies from elementary school. I remember my fourth grade teacher convincing me to read The Stone Child, and how it was the first time I had finished a proper book. I remember looking for any horror book I could find after. I remember starting middle school and being so scared of what would come. I remember making a huge card for my seventh grade math teacher because he was retiring, and him hugging me and the other student who helped, because I don’t think he expected that from any of us. I remember starting highschool and trying to figure out who I was. I remember my mom getting cancer. I remember theatre being an escape. I remember friends I haven’t spoken to in years, and some I still speak to today. I remember the little kid who would think “future me, please tell me it will be okay” and I now think of the adult me who says, “yeah, it will be”.

Maybe this is all nonsensical rambling, but now I can’t help but think of a game I played for the first time after watching YouTubers play it online. There’s a specific quote that I don’t think I really understood until this moment, one that I saw make others cry in…I’m not sure, relief? Sadness? Happiness?

“Despite everything, it’s still you”

Despite everything, reading those comments on a random ballerina AU fic written over 10 years ago reminded me that yes, after everything that has happened, things I’ve caused and things I’ve never had control over, the little kid who believed in people still exists. She is a part of me that has never and always existed. Everything she was, and everything she ever will be, is who I am. Everything any child was and will ever be is who they are. Everything a child could have been and will be, is who humanity is.

We are angry, and selfish, and cruel.

But

We are kind, and we are hopeful, and we are love.

Not that we are loved, or that we do love

We are the embodiment of the concept.

And this is all the sleep deprived ramblings of a 21 year old who has no idea if I am actually writing this or if I am just dreaming it. Who knows, either way I won’t remember it in the morning. Tbh I barely remember it now.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

four walls playlist

[hollowboobtheory]

if your sense of taste is lost does that mean you can listen to the new taylor swift album

listen i am strictly neutral on her music. if it's playing in a room i'm in or someone is listening to her near me i don't have a problem listening to it. it's not actively offensive to my ears, i just don't really get anything out of it for the most part and it's not really my style. it's not bad its not good it's just here. and there's so fucking much of it

[averlym]

some very very quick costume shorthands!

[afterlife-2004]

Reminds me of “The World Was Wide Enough”, a song from the musical, Hamilton!

[gncrezan]

gncrezan get behind me the girlies CANNOT be normal about this poll 🤺🤺

LMFAOOOO i don't think i made clear enough that this poll is genuinely low stakes, i enjoy talking about it !!! and i like to see what others also think of the situation!! it's obviously a very complicated one which is why people are defending their takes in the tags (thanks everyone the 200 word tag thinkpiece is literally exactly what i wanted from this you've fallen into my trap)

if anything the poll has shown that sevenmancers are stronger than me. schrodinger's cat of a RO like you don't know if you've bagged them or not until you check the metaphorical bag

[qoldenskies]

ive discovered so much music looking for inspo for this fic that i might just man up and make a whole playlist for it LMAO

[pardonmydelays]

Happy Saturday!!

AAAAAAAAA HI M, HAPPY SATURDAY TO YOU AS WELL! COME DANCE WITH US!