#But then you forget how bad the song is lyrics wise and then they all slow turn to you as if you wrote them?

[indieyuugure]

(For those who don’t know, the song is “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails)

This was probably funnier in my head…

(Please excuse my awful handwriting)

[hansensgirl]

🪽— 𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐱

summary. | Steve Rogers is a good man. You’re a good woman. Emotional affairs are harder than they seem.

pairings. | Steve Rogers x fem!reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter, fem!reader x OMC (brief), Peggy Carter x Daniel Sousa

warnings. | ANGST, light smut, allusions to sex, cheating, emotional affairs, pregnancy (not the reader), crying, bad family, sadness, age gap, power dynamics (boss x employee), Christmas, heavy petting, kissing, broken vase (accidentally), sadness, drinking, smoking, nightmares, mild argument, and more. 18+ MINORS DNI!

word count. | ~2.5k

author's note. | hi! i'm sort of back. i'm very sorry for my hiatus. here's a new fic! this is based on the lyrics from Phoebe Bridgers' Savior Complex, which is one of my favourite songs of all time. let me know what you think! taglist: @hansensfics. i might delete this one, but please don’t save it or upload it anywhere. thanks! MINORS DNI! 18+ ONLY!

He’s your boss. You work directly under him.

He isn’t bossy. Really, it’s an issue. Every time he gives you a task, he says ‘sorry’ first and finishes the order with another apology. You tell him he doesn’t have to apologize, but you’ve got the same problem as well. It’s always atonement for something you haven’t even done. You wouldn’t hurt a fly unless it hurt him.

Mr. Rogers is very nice. He has a secret office that he lets you stay in whenever you want. There’s a couch from one country and a desk from another. Each item is foreign in this room.

You’re always so tired, but he tells you to avoid caffeine. He gives you a blanket and tells you to lie down. You listen at first but can never relax. Not when you know he’ll be alone.

The honesty was a mistake at first. Mr. Rogers is so sensitive that he feels what you feel. He knows you so well that if something’s wrong, he’ll bother you until confession. You tell him almost anything, biting your tongue when you know you get too close to baring your entire soul.

The male friend of yours who keeps asking you out. The exams you study for to no avail. Your parents’ absence. Mr. Rogers—Steve, he insists—is a good listener and very wise. It makes sense. He’s much older than you and was on his own adventures when you were born.

The adventures are where he met his wife. Her name is Margaret, and she’s everything you aren’t. She’s headstrong and beautiful beyond words. She’s good with numbers and brilliant. She knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get them.

Peggy is a real keeper. The wedding rings on their fingers prove this well.

Nothing more than a few kisses and caresses have intertwined you and Steve. Nothing physical, at least.

You’re quiet around him. Never say anything more than a sentence. You shy away when your eyes met, especially if he says something sweet.

Words take up the space as you grow closer. Steve is particularly good with words, whereas you often stutter and blend words together.

And sometimes, there is complete silence. It’s contentful. He replies to emails, and you sort through the pile of mess in the corner.

You tell him your dreams, and he tells you the ones he’s already fulfilled. What he studied in school, his family, his friends, his favourite country he’s been to. Nothing about Peggy—neither of you can bear it.

Unless she’s done something that’s hurt his feelings—like when she swears she doesn’t talk to Daniel Sousa anymore, but he hears them calling late at night.

Sometimes, Steve talks for so long that it gets dark, and your shift is over. He pays you extra—or, at least, tries to. You never take the money because nothing was lost. You enjoy the little time you have with him.

He takes you home, wanting you to avoid walking down the street in the pitch-black evening.

His car is a mess—the same as his office. He apologizes sincerely and pushes everything in the front seat to the back. The directions consist of “take a left” and “keep going straight.” You assume he’ll forget it. You don’t know how much this means to him.

Steve stays parked outside your building when you rush to your room. You live on the bottom floor and are right by the entrance. You’re a movie’s heroine when you throw yourself on your bed and giggle, butterflies filling your stomach.

He is something. The scriptwriter has Steve’s dialogue under his name but with “CHARACTER: TBA” in parentheses. No one knows if the film will be completed. No one knows how it will end.

Mr. Rogers stays parked outside, forehead resting against his steering wheel, and he’s trying to get a hold of his nerves.

Eventually, he grabs his pack of cigarettes that he always hides from Peggy. She often reminds him of his mother—without the sagacity. She tells Steve what he should or shouldn’t do a lot. He hasn’t lived since he breathed you in.

He smokes with the windows up, tears flowing down his face because he knows this can’t happen. He cannot betray his wife, but he doesn’t want to hurt you.

Steve comes to you on a starry night. You can see the moon and something else twinkling through the trees, and he rings your doorbell.

When you open the door, he’s a large man cowering like a small child. He wants to cry—you can tell. His mouth is in a frown that won’t disappear, and his eyes are glassy.

He’s drunk when he practically falls on top of you. He is slurring apologies that you know are unnecessary. His breath smells of whiskey, and he’s very heavy. You’ve fantasized about him on top of you during restless sleeps, but not quite like this.

Somehow, you crawl out from underneath the older, married man. You know it would be fruitless to lift Steve up, so you drag him to your bedroom.

You keep the door to the bathroom open and bring a bucket as well. The water on your bedside table is his now, and so is the charger and landline. Anything he wants of yours, he can have. He doesn’t even have to ask.

It’s hard to sleep when the one you desire so profoundly is in your bed, sadder than he should be. He drifts off with ease, but he’s violent in his tossing and turning. He shines with sweat and tears, soaking your sheets with his scent. You’re not sure if you’ll wash them. It’s a nightmare you can’t rouse him from, one that you don’t dare to ask him about the next morning.

Steve must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed. It’s small, too small for his big being. Or maybe it’s his hangover—perhaps even hunger. You offer to make whatever, but he grumbles.

He’s not sure why he’s taking his disappointment out on you. He wasn’t trying to test you, but you should’ve turned him away. You should’ve told him to go back home to his wife with her expected child inside her womb, but you don’t know this terrible secret. If you did, it would tear you apart from the inside out. This, he knows, for sure.

Mr. Rogers doesn’t say much to you in the morning, drinking two cups of coffee and staring out the window. You sit across him, and he looks past your face—the very visage he can never seem to tear his eyes away from.

“You shouldn’t have let me stay,” he finally says.

“Why not?” you ask, “you came here yourself. I could never turn you away.”

“You need to. You need to go out and, I don’t know, spend time with boys your age. Boys who don’t have wives or girlfriends they won’t leave you for.”

You flinch as if he’s raised one of his gentle hands.

Steve sighs. “That’s not what I meant. I think the lines between us have blurred. We’re not doing the right thing here, honey.”

You can’t look up, can’t face him. You wish this wasn’t the topic. You wish he had told you about his dream instead, and you would have told him yours. The one where he leaves you, the one where he gets his happy ever after with Peggy, and you get nothing.

He gives you a kiss on the head and bids you goodbye. You’re happy you have a day off tomorrow.

It’s almost Christmas, about two weeks since the conversation. Steve tries to make things seem normal. Normal in the sense that he hasn’t made his employee fall hopelessly in love with him. Then, normal in the sense that Peggy doesn’t exist, and he can still keep you in his arms until a customer comes in.

You go on dates with your guy friend like Mr. Rogers has insisted, but they’re unfulfilling. He often prefers to stay home and rent a movie, followed by sloppy kisses and dry humping that is unsatisfactory for only you.

“You don’t have to go out with only him,” Steve reminds you one day. You’re in his lap and he’s just finished reading through his entire diary with you. Most pages are about the employee he’s infatuated with, few are about his wife.

“I know. I just don’t want anyone else but you,” you tell him.

Moments later, his mouth is on your neck and his hand is up your skirt. You’re just about to come when a delivery man walks in, calling your boss’ name.

The shop is closed for a week, and your father has invited you to visit him and his new family. Your step-sisters are older and runway-ready. They have wonderful jobs and husbands that aren’t seeing women younger than them.

It’s like a closed practice. An event you can only watch from afar. You have no place here, even if your stepmother cleaned the guest room for you. You book a new plane ticket so you can go home early. You don’t make an excuse because they don’t even ask why; they just bid you goodbye.

You land at a horrible hour. There are too many taxis that families need—families trying to have a nice, hurt-free holiday.

And so you call Steve, and he answers on the first ring.

“Hello?” he greets, and you can sense some kind of anxiety in his voice.

“Um, hi. Happy holidays,” you tell him, nervous beyond belief as well.

His voice is smooth like honey, crooning in your frost-bitten ear.

“Happy holidays, baby,” he says. Peggy isn’t nearby.

“Uh, I’m at the airport. I was with my dad’s family, but I left. I don’t know how to get home. All the taxis are taken up.”

“I’m on my way, okay? Just sit tight, sweetie.”

“Thank you,” you exhale, “thank you so much, Steve.”

“Anything for my girl.”

When he arrives, he finds a place to quickly park. He takes your sole suitcase out of your hands and presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

It’s sudden.

Mr. Rogers—your boss, a married man—is kissing you like you’re his only lover. Like he’s your boyfriend, and he’s missed you dearly.

You lean in for more, and he pulls away. Smiling, he opens the car door for you.

He takes the long way home, the ones with few cars driving alongside.

“I didn’t know you left,” he eventually says.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. It was a last-minute thing.”

“No, no. Don’t apologize. I went to your place to say ‘hi,’ but no one was home.”

“I should’ve told you. I really am sorry,” you profess.

Steve places a finger on your mouth, shushing you. His hand moves to cup your cheek, and you push your face further into his palm.

“Thank you for picking me up,” you whisper, looking at him intently.

“I’m glad you called me. I missed you. I would do anything for you.”

You say nothing to that. You turn the radio on and the last song is one you recommended to him. You both hum the lyrics until it ends, and he turns it off.

“I always enjoy it when you drive me,” you confess after a while.

“Oh yeah? Why?” he smiles.

“You’re careful. You don’t go too fast or slow. You know what you’re doing. You’re such a pro at it,” you explain, slightly self-conscious of your reasoning.

“That all?” Steve teases, raising his eyebrows.

“Hm… No… I love your hands.” You giggle.

“Yeah? I know you do, baby. Always starin’ at them. I bet you think of them touching you all the time,” he rasps, briefly letting go of the wheel to rub at his beard.

You squeeze your thighs, mind already turning with scenarios where Steve touches you like a starved man.

His hand on your face moves back to your mouth, thumb swiping your bottom lip before pushing in. You suck on the digit, giving it the treatment you would to his cock. When you reach out to touch him, the car suddenly halts.

He stops on the side of the road, eyes watering. Regret etches his features, and you know what’s to come.

“We can’t,” Steve says, pulling his finger out. “Not yet, at least.”

“I know” is all you have to give.

Peggy visits the store in early March. Underneath her shirt is a small baby bump.

When you see it, your heart stops.

Steve brushes past you to lead her away, examining your face for hurt. You’re behind the shelves and watch the couple, your mouth parted with your eyes threatening to leak. You turn and head towards the back, choosing to hide somewhere so you can fall apart in solitude.

Mr. Rogers watches as you leave. He wishes you would look back and give him something, anything. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t supposed to hurt you this way. But he did, and he will try to make it right.

Peggy leaves eventually, and Steve closes the store early. He searches for you, listening for a sniffle or movement.

You sit on the floor, a broken vase next to you. He quickly nudges the debris away so you don’t get hurt.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he says, looking down at you. You look up, eyes bloodshot, and you stare at him with something he can’t place. He envelopes you in a hug, and you can feel his erratic heart clamouring against your face.

“Come with me to the office, please,” Steve begs.

You shake your head.

“You ask too much of me, Steve. You have a wife and an innocent child on the way. We can’t keep doing this.”

“No, no. Please, just come. Please, honey,” he pleads once more. “At least hit me, yell at me, tell me to go fuck myself.”

“Why would I? I’m happy for you. You’re getting what you’ve always wanted.” Your voice cracks, and you force a smile. Steve sees through it all.

“No. I want you—I love you. But I don’t have you, do I? Listen, I’ll leave her. I’ll still be a good father, even though I know that’s not my kid at all. We’ll go elsewhere. Move into a nice home and do whatever we want,” he rambles.

Strong Mr. Rogers breaks apart in front of you. You take him into your arms, and you both cry together.

You’re the one that leads him to his office. You sit on the couch with him and notice that his wedding band is gone. He always wears it when Peggy comes by, but he didn’t this time.

“That night you took me in—I dreamt of you. I dreamt you weren’t mine, and you didn’t love me anymore. I messed something up and didn’t fix it. It was the worst nightmare I’ve ever had,” Steve admits.

You don’t say anything. As much as the whole ordeal hurts you, as terrible as what you’ve done to a woman and her child, you can’t let Steve go. Neither can he. It’ll have to end someday, just not now. Not yet.

[pop-pop-pop-popculture]

WICKED: PART 1 REVIEW 🧹🫧

Oh my GOD. I...I actually... loved this????

Songs/Singing

"No One Mourns the Wicked" - I rate this song a 5/5

"Dear Old Shiz" - I don't really care about this song

"The Wizard and I" - I loved the sense of optimism and excitement in Cynthia's singing, which was important to me (and obviously the character considering the reason for Elphaba singing this), as well as her facial expressions. Honestly... this song ended up being cute. I rate this song a 4/5.

"What is This Feeling?" - I rate this song a 4/5

"Something Bad" - Peter is not the best singer but he's not the worst. Regarding the soundtrack, I love how context was provided before he proceeded to sing. Some of the lyrics and the setup of the song were changed, and I really liked it. Instead of beginning the song in class after everyone except Elphaba leaves, Doctor Dillamond is talking to the remaining animal professors, and that's when the song comes in. I love how eerie and dark it was compared to the Broadway version. I rate this song a 3/5.

"Dancing Through Life" - Regarding the soundtrack, I'm surprised the 'What's the most swankified place in town?' conversation was cut. Anyways, this was such a joy to watch despite the song being almost ten minutes long! Jonathan's tone of energy while singing wasn't steady in my opinion, but that didn't make me like this song any less. His version was good! I rate this song a 3/5.

"Popular" - You know what? Ariana went hard with this one and I was pleased. Her singing was pleasant to listen to compared to how she usually sings as well, and I can tell she took inspiration from Kristin all the while adding her own spin. She clearly had fun singing this one. I rate this song a 5/5.

"I'm Not That Girl" - I don't really care about this song, but I still want to add this: Cynthia has such a beautiful singing voice. I rate this song a 5/5.

"One Short Day" - I like how it started slow and then the energy in all of the citizens singing gradually increased as well as the pace of the song. It's different from the Broadway version and I don't know which one I like better. Now, I simply cannot forget to mention the 'The Wise Ones' interlude during Wizomania... . My heart, man. My fucking heart. 🥹 I’m writing a separate post on the interlude, because it was a lot for me to take in. I rate this song a 4/5.

"Sentimental Man" - I don't really care about this song

"Defying Gravity" - OH. MY GOD. I can't even write out my thoughts on this one (maybe I will another time)... . For now, I'm just going to say that I rate this song a 5/5.

Cynthia and Ariana are good at singing, and they don't sound bad together. I still, and will always, prefer Idina and Kristin, though. However, they made a good duo. Surprisingly, I was impressed, and the two actresses plus the film in general exceeded my expectations. Also, regarding the songs, I have to applaud Stephen Schwartz for rewriting some (if not all) of them to fit the film.

Acting

Most everyone did a wonderful job at bringing their respective character to life! Everyone's chemistry, which truly felt authentic, transitioned well onto the screen. I honestly couldn't tell anyone was acting! It’s clear everyone enjoyed filming this, and you can tell in their performances. The only one whose acting fell a bit short was Jeff Goldblum. Ariana fell flat a few times as well, especially when it came to facial expressions, but she was still tolerable to watch. Her ability to be comical was not that bad either. She clearly took the role seriously and put her whole heart into it. Singing, dancing, acting, etc.

(I decided to write a short summary instead of point out every actor)

Other Notes

I still wish unknown, aspiring actors between 15-19 were casted since Elphaba and Glinda teenagers in act one, but, despite that, Cynthia and Ariana ended up being slightly believable college students

I like the idea of adding new content only if it helps move the storyline forward and/or clear up confusion from the original source, but some of the new content in this film adaptation was unnecessary

Regarding the previous bullet point, there's two that come to my mind: The hot air balloon scene that happens before "Defying Gravity", which literally felt like it went on forever but in reality was maybe 10 minutes at the most, and the part where Elphaba sees her younger self as she's falling. Both parts slowed down the momentum of the song as well as made it longer than it had to be. I'm all here for drama and build up in a song, especially for one like "Defying Gravity", but that was too much. I liked the moment between Elphaba and her younger self, but that should have been placed somewhere else instead of during the song.

Elphaba's outfits: Why was she wearing black the majority of the time? I did not like that. Where was the monochromatic blue outfit in the beginning when we first meet her? Unless my memory sucks, her outfits gradually become darker and then, by the end of act one, she's wearing the black dress. We first see the dress in "One Short Day", but in the film, I think she wore black most all of the time. In the stage production, there is definitely some sort of symbolism with her outfits in act one, but the opportunity was not seized in the film.

I loved Elphaba's hairstyles

Going back to Elphaba's outfits, in order to emphasize her age, which was 17 (as stated in the book), the costume designer should've had her outfits be inspired by things teenagers wear. What even did teenage girls wear in the 1800s, though? Anyways, I know Cynthia isn't a teenager in college and neither did she pass for one, but the CGI kind of (KIND OF) helped. Her outfits, though, did not.

Glinda's outfits: I disliked how the costume designer limited her color palette to just pink. This is Galinda Upland, dude, not Barbie! On Broadway, she wore different colors (my favorite one was the yellow dress, which is worn during "One Short Day"), and as she got older, the colors became less vibrant and more monochromatic, which symbolizes her growing up. Maturing. The second part of this film comes out next year, though, so we'll just have to wait and see if the costume designer recreated the Broadway outfits from part two or not...

Regarding the soundtrack, the original "Dancing Through Life" song is seven minutes long. The length of the one in the film is nine minutes. I'm sorry to admit this, but, eventually, I got bored...

As far as the lines go, the film actually stood pretty true to the script/lines of the stage performance, so that made me happy

Regarding the previous bullet point, a few lines were either changed up, "placed" at different times, or not in the film at all

After everyone was on the boat to head to the Oz Dust Ballroom, Fiyero's face lit up when he saw Boq and Nessarose coming, and I found that so adorable

Speaking of D.T.L., the entire part when Elphaba showed up to the party and everyone laughed at her almost made me cry. Glinda deciding to dance with her and then them two dancing was so intimate and beautiful. 🥺 Ariana and Cynthia really delivered on that part!

Me, whispering out loud under my breath during this part: "A bear raised Elphaba????" 🤨😶 They really should have had the novel character, Cattery, who was the Thropp's nanny, instead, and I know exactly who the actress could have been. Obviously, she'd be a hell lot younger (and prettier).

I appreciated the emphasis on where animals who can talk like humans stand in Oz. Spoiler Alert: They're not on the wizard's good side.

I like Joel Grey better

I didn't care for him too much in the stage performance, but I liked Doctor Dillamond in the film. What a sweet little goat.

The way the Oz guards just carelessly grabbed Doctor Dillamond by the antlers...

Madame Morrible gaslighting Glinda by telling her if she wants to prove her worth and be good (or something like that), then she needs to bring Elphaba back to her and the wizard

Madame Morrible hugging Glinda towards the end of "Defying Gravity"

The entire scene with the lion cub from when we first meet him to Fiyero leaving in the woods with him. So adorable!

Elphaba literally lifting her sister in the air…! I honestly had no idea that that was being insinuated on stage, so I'm glad the film made that part clearer for me.

The poppies Elphaba casted a spell on made the entire class fall asleep. That was such a clever idea and a nice homage to the 1939 film (The Wizard of Oz)! This is not what happened in the stage production, and I didn't mind. I like the film version better.

The part where the wizard was showing off the model was unnecessary and, if I'm being honest, slowed down the pace of the film

Jonathan Bailey can dance, man. Holy shit.

I loved Nessarose’s burning desire to be independent. Another detail I thought was a nice addition to the character was her not wanting anyone to touch her wheelchair without permission.

I love that Nessarose and Boq first met each other on orientation day instead of during "Dancing Through Life", because doing this allowed them time to become friends

I honesty can't wait to see how Marissa handled the transition of portraying a sweet and loving girl who wanted nothing more than to make friends to becoming an insufferable tyrant

The look on Fiyero, Boq and Nessarose's faces when they heard on the radio what Elphaba did was heartbreaking 😢

The way Fiyero and Elphaba met for the first time was great. "Get stuffed!" -Elphaba to Fiyero

Nessarose saying she couldn't watch her sister being laughed at. 😢 I wish, though, that Boq was scripted to say something supportive.

After Glinda said "That’s not fair, I told you a really good one.”, she flopped face down on her bed like she was pouting. What made me laugh, though, was the camera going back to her just for the audience to see that she was still in the same position.

Jonathan should've been more comically dramatic with the delivery of "...I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow" and Ariana should've been more comically dramatic with her delivery of "The artichoke is steamed".

Although it was cool having a prince bring his horse to university, I still wish Fiyero's grand appearance stood true to the musical. It was honestly so iconic and on-brand for that scandalous, genuinely self-absorbed prince!

The way Fiyero got offended over Elphaba rolling her eyes at him after he waved at her during "Dancing Through Life"

Glinda hesitating to set the humongous straw statue of the Wicked Witch of the West on fire during “No One Mourns the Wicked”

Overall, I give this film a 8/10.

🍁 November 22, 2024 🍁

[invece-sto-sdraiato]

Rant about everybody’s waiting (and some general fandom stuff) cause I finally found words to my feelings:

tw// mental health struggles, anxiety (can you notice that I’ve never done this before 🥲)

Yes, okay at first I was skeptical about the song. Reasons? I’m not entirely sure (yet) but once I heard the whole thing, I was like, “ok, not as bad as I thought, kinda my taste but will take time to grow on me…” by now I can definitely say that it’s super experimental and brave of them to do something like this, so props to that! I think the second half of the song is what really convinced me.

Lyrics-wise? As much as I understood the meaning, the importance they held for bojan, I didn’t see myself actually “getting” them, if you get what I mean. I didn’t understand what they even meant, at first. (well, I couldn’t hear some words in the song properly)

But now these-

What a wonderful life, panicking

A perfect time to get lost in deep, unoriginal line

There’s nothing left, just flight or die

Lonesome and run down

Can’t tell the sky from the ground

Turning around

Okay now… this hit me straight in the gut. (not sure if these are accurate, feel free to correct me) This… doesn’t exactly explain my feelings, but they sure do come pretty close. This made me realise certain things about my personality which I never thought about before. I was never the “take it easy” type and these words…somehow remind me to slow down sometimes… (I’m just rambling here atp)

I’ve always, ALWAYS been a nervous wreck, since maybe I was ten? And I’ve always gotten anxious about so many things (whether they’re in my control or not) for so long, that I just thought it was human nature to feel so much, and I thought everyone else was just better at handling it than me. I’ve never thought to label it or even address it, cause it was so ingrained in my unconscious, to know that it isn’t normal.

So, seeing how important it is that bojan is addressing this issue is not only a big deal for Slovenia, it is for me too. Joining this fandom, I see so many of you being so open, so vocal about things I generally would’ve never dreamed of admitting (it also does NOT help, the fact that I’m from an extremely conservative country 🥲)

The first time I ever felt accepted, or seen was here. People in my life till this point, have shared similar opinions with me, but no one actually got to know me, the real me because there was always that disconnect that somehow made me distance myself from them. Obviously this is all online and I don’t know any of you personally, but y’alls sheer honesty just makes me go waaaahhh (the only word I can think of rn)

And I think, the real therapy for me was talking to @da-proti-toku-grem and @paperphilia thank you so much for your kindness and acceptance. It means the world to me 🥹

(especially the fact that @paperphilia you asked me “are you ok?” after seeing my rant about the jance photo shoot. That is something I will not forget for a long long time.

And maca, obviously our long conversations will always have a special place in my heart (love you!)

Huh, okay this is getting too long. Anyways whomever of the baby boos reads this, just thank you so much for being there, a part of the reason why I’m happier now. This song ended up being therapeutic for me, who would’ve foreseen that lol.

[bulbabutt]

listen im not trying to be a hater i just think tf prime represents something of the moment in time it was made and i dislike it a lot. it clearly is trying to be like the bad movies, stylistically and character wise. it loses its own identity in trying to make a cartoon out of that concept, because it cant.

its full of so many words that it tries to give meaning to, all being names or objects from previous shows, even using song lyrics from the 86 movie, while its central conflict becomes about politics it barely understands. trying to make me care if the decepticons or autobots press the magic button that will restore their home planet because whoever does so will have a POLITICAL edge when the other cybertronians return home (they never do)

it barely grasps what the source of the war was. what starts as revolution against an oppressing class became a war between two guys with differing beliefs on how to achieve justice. but when the difference in their politics is literally 'i will get justice even if it resorts to violence' vs 'i dont believe in violence' and then you HAVE A WAR SO BAD IT CAUSES YOUR PLANET TO DIE you need to grapple with the consequences of that. the characters should bring that up. the vibes between optimus and megatron should be more familiar than they are. like a magneto and professor x thing, a former brotherhood turned sour, but knowing each other better than anyone despite their opposing views.

(rambled on for a while so cut)

in other shows we're left wondering what the history is, seeing these two titans who have been fighting for millions of years, we rarely see any specifics and so we're left to make our own conclusion based on the relationship we see. here its more about making the lore heavy than it is about how the characters back story relate to how they act.

to get into how the characters as a whole interact it seems less interested in making characters seem like real people than the g1 cartoon, which by all accounts was just a silly toy commercial. there is no sense of brotherhood among the autobots and no real love for earths living creatures outside of these 3 children (and the us government). none of the autobots feel like characters, they have no real personality or individual quirks (besides ratchet) and optimus most of all feels like he is just here to stand in the corner of a scene and give a good soundbite line. something vague that somewhat relates to whats being said, it feels like 'well we have peter cullen lets let him say something cool'. style over substance.

meanwhile the decepticons despite being so bloodthirsty and brutal, constantly forget and forgive each other for literally attempting to kill each other every episode. in one episode megatron tells starscream if he doesnt find him worthy of rejoining the decepticons that he will kill him. then we see him watch all of starscreams betrayals from over the course of the entire show, we see no reason he should ever forgive starscream and then at the end he simply.... doesnt kill him. he forgives him and keeps him around. this is supposed to be the scary bloodthirsty megatron who was a gladiator and has no problem with violence, yet he lets the character who stole victory after victory from him live. it makes no sense in this 'the more serious show'. but then it works out cuz starscream just stops being who he was and then just genuinely follows megatron. so. idk i guess the goal was scare him. thats the end of that whole plotline then.

starscream specifically seems too goofy here because he constantly fails at everything. theres a part of how you make this character work thats fully missing here, and thats his sense of self preservation. he doesnt have one. he makes decisions that make no sense, he betrays everyone and walks into traps set by them despite knowing they want him dead just to make him as pathetic as possible. when he loses his t cog its especially apparent because he just. went to the guys that wanted a t cog after destroying bumblebees and hes like "whoopsie oh well" and then is surprised they turn on him and take his. comparing this to the g1 version and saying 'this one makes more sense' kills me. it doesnt. g1 knows when to fold. thats why it feels like knockout feels more like starscream to me, hes the only one calculating and staying quiet until he sees the power shift.

the show is frustrating to watch because it just seems like characters waiting around doing nothing but reacting to things, but in the meantime theyre not really being characters at all, theyre not being enjoyable or lovable to watch outside of their names reminding you 'they are iconic IP, please buy these toys.'

and they dont look very good either, clearly trying to mesh together the overly complicated ugly mess that is the b*yverse with cartoon proportions. specifically anyone designed in that first 5 episode. the designs are all top heavy, their faces so flat mouths so plain, but everyone has these very detailed eyebrows to emote with. in arcees case she even gets detailed eyelashes.

and dont get me started on the 'arcee cant be pink cuz thats a girl colour and shes a girl but shes not a GIRL' problem. you put pink on her as her secondary colour. you put pink IN HER EYES. she has a skirt. she shows off an insane amount of robot midriff (somehow, cuz they painted her like that) her flat face for some reason has lips (which dont even look good, like warped metal around her mouth). so are you trying to design a girl character or not? be fucking honest about it. youre both embarrassed of pink arcee while also doing the same thing, making her small making her clearly the feminine one. and narratively ohhhh dont get me started (also this show decided to keep saying two wheeler in a way that meant girl and thats......ugh)

basically i just think when you try so hard to be so serious you end up being sillier than things that know theyre silly. if youre embarrassed of the media that came before you why even make it?

oh right. brand synergy. to advertise your new streaming network. to show off what cartoons can REALLY be like now. SUPER SERIOUS. SUPER CINEMATIC.

but i think it just didnt say anything about anything. it didnt represent anything. didnt make me care about anyone or any plight. any stakes it tried to add didnt matter. didnt do anything new, didnt really understand anything that came before. threw out ideas stolen from better shows. threw a new paintjob on hotrod, called him smokescreen, but then didnt have the balls to kill off optimus to make that character matter. kinda represents a lot of what i mean just in that regard alone.

i just think ive seen a lot of these shows now and this one has made me the most mad, cuz it is so 2010, its so cynical and mean spirited, its so lazy and cash grabby, its full of in name only references to make you point at the screen and go I KNOW THAT THING! without knowing why you ever cared about that thing.

and while im not trying to say its the worst one objectively (i dont rank shit like that) i am saying at least when it comes to something the masses would consider a 'worse show' like energon or bm or rid, at least all of those have their own identity and theyre not pretending to be something theyre not. theyre not trying to be cleverer than they are.

basically the people who wrote this are the people that wrote the first transformers movie, and that is where this plague of creating soulless reboot/remake/sequels to your favorite nostalgic media that hollywood has been stuck in ever since started, and you can TELL.

[tubedog-todd]

i love you so fucking much like a 3-4/10 : just doesnt read as a glass animals album its like yeah if you gave this from a generic soft pop band yeah bam like a fucking 7 or some shit but this is HTBAHB Glass Animals. ZABA DUDE DO NOT FORGET ZABA!!!

painfully generic? Too poppy this time in an uninteresting way. personally i see no complete cohesive idea/theme/vibe tying everything together (yeah i know love and heartache but it does not show through with the track cohesion)the songs are so disjointed its genuinely a detriment. (filler tracks exist for a reason dumbshits)

-show pony: do dont like the chorus, too sharp? the audio is sharp and does not sound too nice, the sharp guitar though is acceptable, rhyming is ... interesting, leaves the song droning over and over, trying to drill the chorus in your head. i dont understand what its trying to set up. guitar compression is probably the best thing

-whathehellishappening : mild whiplash transition between songs but i get it,its kinda funny,again pretty unassuming each bridge/verse sounds too similar to differentiate them, again plain and unobtrusive, catchy chorus hmmm i wonder why,ends funny but i wont get why you wouldnt lead into a break track

-creatures in heaven : a little more interesting pacing wise,more personable,snappy?, again chorus is pretty prominent to a more notable amount, interest break with the space elements, wait why are there space elements, is this supposed to bright the dichotomy of heaven and earth

-wonderful nothing : start with the title oh fun, wait why are all of these songs starting with their title,i like the vocals more becuase they dont force themselves into higher notes where you can hear the strain, the beginning into the main song is funky and probably the best beat tbh,idk bdsm kink shit i like, nice layering i enjoy as the song goes but couldve been shortened, repeats a bit too much.

-a tear in space : To be honest i was so excited by this beginning riff that i wanted Wonderful Nothing to somehow lead into, these songs are so disjointed it feels like im being shoved around with no direction with how to process what im being told,rhyme dog with floor, look man i like it because of the constant variety of vocal style, BUT dude the auto tune fucking sucks and is really jarring, again catchy chorus lyrics cmon guys an album ISNT supposed to be 10 signles lumped together you NEED glue the velcro or at least something, i really like the violin/synth i just really like how light it is

i cant make you fall in love again : guitars fine WAIT THE TITLE AGAIN? jeeeeeez dudes, jumps in pretty fast with trying to hook in the chorus, does he always sing with the chorus staying at the same note. really unobtrusive lyrics wise, i enjoy his sultrier voice but at least he doesnt try to strain himself too bad but its noticable again, bland

how i learned to love the bomb : THIS IS SEX BOMBOMB AND W- sorry, this one and the previous track blend together with the droning beats and singing. the chorus is nice with this one, i like the guitar but i swear i will not remember what makes these two different. at least its not saying its title every three seconds. reminds me of that 2016 era of popi just see nothing interesting in here

-white roses : TITLE STARTS WOOOOO, it just STARTS but not excitingly! Repeating repeating repeat the drill is here and its staying!!!! Space again, wait what why? who knows. just doesnt keep my attention with the lyrics or vocal inflections(except the auto tune which makes me physically recoil like where did this come from), chorus is fine, reapeating repeating repeating and CATCHY!!! COME ON GUYS LISTEN TO THE RA DIO,

-on the run : beginning is actually interesting, i like the weird vocal beat pretty funky at least for this album, i like how he sings this beginning BUT the chorus makes me want to scream, how does this TRANSITION SO BAD? again DRONING BORING, rest of the song is okay? the chorus is the worst part and is jarring and detrimental, kinda like how the autotune in any other part of the album is. unobtrusive and radio material....hm....

lost in the ocean : i like the low key ukelele and singing, chorus is again pretty stripped but he just has more interesting inflections that lead the song forward. LOVE the background singing! the gradual growth of the song lends itself to something that BARELY resembles a glass animals songs, yes a slow and mournful one but its there. the hearts still there. Its just....still a little too obvious on the hey im a single yeah! swaying in the kitchen song, very simple and doowoppy. Cute! Bad ending to an album

Ranking : lost in the ocean 6/10 a tear in space 5/10 creature in heaven 5/10 wonderful nothings 5/10 -frankly i dont care how the rest fall. i wont listen to them willingly ever again-

OVERALL : dissapointing! Go listen to Dreamland (i think its a way better album than this. Get over ur hate boner on Heat Waves) or better yet! ZABA or HTBAHB!!!

[saint-starflicker]

Spring Awakening Fandom Tag

(By @winter-asleepening )

1. How were you introduced to the show?

2007(?) OBC sountrack on compact disk gift from a friend.

2. Seen a production live?

My honest answer is going to get me in trouble around Question 17, isn't it.

3. Dream role/character you relate to most

Ilse Neumann.

4. Favorite male character

Moritz.

5. Favorite female character

Ilse. Is that redundant with Question 3? Martha, then.

6. Deaf West Revival or Original Broadway Cast?

The OBC soundtrack got me through a very rough time in my life, but as far as the cast goes I'm going to say the Deaf West revival cast. I'm glad it was revived, I'm glad that cast is cast in that cast, and I'm glad they're the introduction for a new generation of Guilty Ones.

7. Favorite song

I love them all equally.

8. Least favorite song

...I don't care for Mirror Blue Night.

9. Favorite quote/line

I'm more of a melody person than a lyrics person.

10. Favorite TV performance

Deaf West Touch Me THEY TURNED INTO A BOAT

11. Favorite cast member(s)

I don't really play favorites with cast members, I just try to find what each new actor brings into the role.

12. Favorite cast member moment

I don't really follow the behind the scenes anecdotes either, but Jonathan Groff forgetting the lyrics to Left Behind except for "all things" is as inspirational as it is horrific to imagine going through. If he can get through that and live to tell the tale, then I can get through a bad day.

Also every time Michael Arden says, "All my best ideas come from [ Andy Mientus ]" is like d'aww they're cute together.

13. Do you write fan fiction?

In this fandom, no, I'm more of a reader.

14. Do you make fan art?

I could.

15. Do you cosplay?

Not really...I don't like the late 19th century fashions? I'm more of a Merveilleuse type (no bra no corset just Spirit Halloween chiton).

16. Don’t do Sadness or Blue Wind?

Those are two halves of a whole song!

17. Word of your body or the Reprise?

OBC I did not like the Reprise because even through the Discman (... that's a Walkman for CD's) I had the sense that it was a "comic relief" moment that relied on the existence of gay boys as the joke.

The Deaf West production kept a sense of respite and relief, and some comedy in the relationship dynamic between Ernst and Hanschen rather than playing on preexisting stereotypes...even though it didn't change a word of the script in that scene, which is amazing on a text analysis level like what happened who used the Captain Planet power ring with the power of heart in this scene, what sorcery is this?

So it depends, because the non-reprise Word of Your Body does a narrative job—Melchior haters can feel free to hate, but I can understand what the musical version was trying to go for with his character, and Word of Your Body was part of that.

Groff's Melchior came off more smarter-and-better-than-you but sort of giving up his pretensions in the process of seduction, and I can understand why that aspect might look appealing.

Doyle's Melchior doesn't have that "he's a ruthless boy but maybe i can change him"—I think he plays Melchior as more sad and desperate, and putting that energy into studying is how his Melchior thinks he gets a handle on his own feelings.

McKenzie's Melchior is an oafish, bookish 14-year-old boy trying to act smooth as he condescends to a Deaf girl. He has as much primal sexual energy as a newborn beagle puppy, which to be clear is none at all. I think that can be endearing, that he doesn't really know what he's blathering about in terms of life experience.

Wendla's a consistent constant performance-wise, all three versions I think balance out to a constant average...so it's really the Reprise that determines which one I like better.

OBC Reprise was very much worse than OBC Word of Your Body...but, Deaf West Reprise was a little better than Deaf West Word of Your Body and a lot better than the OBC Reprise. But I like the OBC Word of Your Body better than the Deaf West Reprise, at the same time that I like the Deaf West Word of Your Body an equal amount as the OBC Word of Your Body, contextualized comparatively being different than the chronological context that defines its vibe in an individual show's run time.

18. Touch Me or My Junk?

My Junk as a tune — but the Deaf West Touch Me did turn everybody into a boat, that was kinda cool.

19. Explain the song of purple summer.

Ilse recovered from her trauma and now owns her sexual identity, despite the history of everyone in her home and community doing their worst to her in ways that directly targeted that very intimate part of her. Her story is not the main plot of the show, but the fact that she survived and found personal definition means she now has her own voice on which to carry the wisdom of her life. That will be what heals and inspires others. Red or pink sunsets plus blue evenings make the sky in summer purple. At the end of the day, there still is beauty in living.

20. Explain the song of purple summer (wrong answers only)

Butterflies scatter ergot fungus while they fly around, so everybody thinks that everything looks purple this summer. The sky is purple. The rain is purple. The corn is purple. The horses are purple. The fungus is eating everybody's brains. They're all going to die.

[clarabowmp3]

Top 13 TTPD lyrics this week?

JUST SAY WHEN ID PLAY AGAIN HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND DOWN AT THE SANDLOT I FELT MORE WHEN WED PLAY PRETEND THAN WITH ALL THE KENS CUZ HE TOOK ME OUT OF MY BOX!! STOLE MY TORTURED HEART!!! LEFT ALL THESE BROKEN PARTS!!!!!! TOLD ME IM BETTER OFF!!!!!!1 BUT IMMMMMM NOT

swirled you into all of my poems..................

and all at once,,the ink bleeds,,,,,a conman sells a fool,,,,a get-love-quick scheme,,,,

crashing into him tonight hes a p a r a d o x, im seeing visions am i bad?? or mad??? or wise???? / i Keep recalling Things we Ne ver did messytoPliPkIss howilong for Our Tryst, without every touchingHisSkin how can I be guilty as sin 🙈🙈🙈

the whole of tsmwel bridge but esp in plain sight you hid...but you are what you did......and I'll forget YOU but I'll never forgive the smaallest man...who ever......lived

light camera bitch smile in stilettos for miles! He said! He'd love! Me for! All time!!!!!!!

I crashed into you like so many wrecks do! too impaired by my Youth! to know what to do.....

i just don't understand........how you dont MISS ME, in the SHOWER, and RMB, how my RAIN SOAKED BODY was SHAKING, DO YOU HATE ME, was it HAZING for a CRUEL FRATERNITY i pledged...and i stilll mean...it...... (obligatory 'were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke 😞😞)

and it was written...i got cursed like eve got bit ten, oh......was it punishment...............

andyou said you'd come and get me! BUT you were 25,,, and the shelf life of those fantasies has expired........

breath of fresh air through smoke rings 😊😊

the whole of how did it end. i cant pick 😭

not that i like this song much but....no one's ever had me...not like you......................

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Taylor Playlist :]

Cause if you haven't noticed I've been a bit fixated on my little guy recently and I meant to share this one forever ago anyways. I'll be real, I really didn't bother to figure out the song order for this one.

Track list below the cut + annotations and relevant lyrics :)

(slightly long post you've been warned!)

>> Here you go bestie <<

Seeya (by deadmau5 feat. Colleen D'Agostino)

“Don't wake me up, I'm winning wars inside my head

And maybe I'm weak, but not beneath the covers of this bed

Asleep, I'm undefeated in this world of mine

So, let me stay inside this dream and keep me from the light

(…)

I've built this place, behind my eyes, you'll never see

And you can move my body, but please keep my mind asleep

Beyond the galaxies, where there's no space or time

I will transform, I am reborn to rule over the skies

(…)

Escape the world I know, it's all in my control

I, I just wanna stay this way

(…)

Don't try to save me when my mind is finally free

'Cause I'd rather run my own world, than face your reality”

The Main Character (by Will Wood)

I don’t think I have to explain this one.

World Is Mine (by Hatsune Miku)

Lol

Life Is Fun (by Boyinaband feat. TheOdd1sOut)

Well this one for me is basically an interaction between Taylor and Scary haha.

Cloudbusting (by Kate Bush)

Largely about Nicky! But in a way that is like… From Taylor’s perspective? Maybe also the reverse. A bit hard to explain exactly but maybe I’ll just share what sticks out to me and you can come to your own conclusions.

“You're like my yo-yo

That glowed in the dark

What made it special

Made it dangerous

So I bury it

And forget

(…)

On top of the world, looking over the edge

You could see them coming

You looked too small

In their big black car

To be a threat to the men in power

(…)

I hid my yo-yo

In the garden

I can't hide you

From the government

Oh, God, Daddy

I won't forget

(…)

And every time it rains

You're here in my head

Like the sun coming out

Look, your son's coming out

Ooh, I just know that something good is going to happen

I don't know when

But just saying it could even make it happen, oh

Ooh, just saying it could even make it happen”

Chosen (by The Living Tombstone)

Hm how to put this… It’s like, one part “Taylor seeing himself as some kind of chosen one”, one part “Taylor unlocking his inner demon” and one part “Taylor being along for the ride- potentially at his own expense/risk”

“A mind without a home

Leaving behind, the comfort that I've known

Where do I roam? A stranger to myself

Born to be here, but living somewhere else

And I'm searching for the reasons I've been

Chosen by a force beyond control

Beyond remorse and I don't know

If I will make it through this

Losing who I am

(…)

Losing everything I called "human"

Free will is miles away

I heard you play

In the digital cabaret

But I'm okay

I won't disobey

If you take me by the hand and make me

Chosen by a force beyond control

I'll play a part, you'll make me whole

You'll be my voice, I'll be your soul

You'll take my choice and I don't know

How you will make me new but

This is who I am”

Open Up Your Eyes (by Tempest Shadow)

Like this could have gone in a Nicky playlist cause this is literally just Nicky talking to Taylor and warning him of betrayal but it’s a MLP song so ultimately Taylor won out lol. Also someone please make an animatic of this I want it so so bad.

“It's time you learned a lesson

It's time that you understand

Don't ever count on anybody else

In this or any other land

(…)

I once hoped for friendship

To find a place among my kind

But those were the childish wishes

Of someone who was blind

Open up your eyes

(…)

Give up your sweet fantasyland

It's time to grow up and get wise

Come now little one

Open up your eyes

(…)

We all start out the same

With simple naïve trust

Shielded from the many ways

That life's not fair or just

(…)

But then there comes a moment

A simple truth that you must face

If you depend on others

You'll never find your place

(…)

And as you take that first step

Upon a path that's all your own

You see it all so clearly

The best way to survive is all alone”

Pretty Little Head (by Eliza Rickman)

It’s mostly:

“Boy, where's your mother? Fall down dead

Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head

I wish you were here, I wish you'd make my bed

Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head”

Mama (My Chemical Romance)

Heheh.

“Mama, we all go to Hell

I'm writing this letter and wishing you well

Mama, we all go to Hell

Oh well, now, Mama, we're all gonna die

Mama, we're all gonna die

Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry

Mama, we're all gonna die”

In light of recent episodes maybe even

“Mama, we all go to Hell

It's really quite pleasant except for the smell

Mama, we all go to Hell”

Takes on a funny little meaning now.

Holding Out For A Hero (by Frou Frou cause I really like this cover)

Partially an antihero goof, but there’s also a bunch of lyrics that are funny/interesting to me if you remove the intended context and think about Nicky instead. Perhaps especially:

“Up where the mountains meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I could swear there is someone somewhere watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain

And the storm and the flood

I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood”

Heads Will Roll – A-Track Remix (by Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

Because it makes me laugh and I couldn’t resist.

Special (by Shinedown)

“Stop waitin' on your fifteen minutes of fame, 'cause you're not special

I'm not tryin' to rain on your parade, but you're not special

I'm not tryin' to bring you down, I'm not tryin' to sound so ineffectual

But you're not special

(…)

We all live to love, we all fall apart

We'd all go to war for the faint of heart

Instead we're condescending

There are no happy endings

I won't hold my breath, I won't cast a doubt

I'd never sell you out

But I'll give you one last chance to own it

'Cause you're not a god or a poet, so...

(…)

Stop waitin' on your fifteen minutes of fame, 'cause you're not special

I'm not tryin' to rain on your parade, but you're not special

I'm not tryin' to bring you down, I'm not tryin' to sound so ineffectual

But you're not special”

^ Anthony probably lol.

:) Okay that's it thank you for entertaining this besties!

[worstlovesong]

asks for distractions: what are your favourite lucy lyrics? (solo + boygenius inclusive!)

Thank youuu <3 I apologize in advance for anyone who thought I could be normal about this because I am simply Insane about Lucy’s writing <3

“We had a lot to measure / We had more past than pleasure / And time grows deep like weeds” - Dream state…

This song hits me hard post-bad-friendship but this lyric sticks with me. Realizing that even if there was a lot of memories built with someone, they may not be Good Ones. Realizing after the fact that perhaps the time spent together wasn’t as good as it once seemed. Time is always moving forward and now that you’re away from them, you’re left with a mind full of invasive weeds to pluck through in search of new growth.

“If beauty is the only way / To make the nightmares go away / I'll plant a garden in your brain / And let the roots absorb the pain” - Trust

This chorus makes me so !!!!! Like oh my god. It’s just beautiful, it’s a promise of a loved one wanting to ease your pain and soothe your fears in the gentlest way. It’s a promise to yourself, to find beauty in the world and hold onto it because then there’s a reason to keep going.

“Don't hold your breath, forget you ever saw me at my best / You don't deserve what you don't respect / Don't deserve what you say you love and then neglect” - Night Shift

This song in its entirety is just a fucking masterpiece. I love it so much and I struggle to express why. This part specifically gets across exactly what I want to say to someone who hurt me and it honestly helps me reframe my thoughts because No this person does not deserve me at my best or at all because they did not respect or love me like they said they did ‼️

“Believe me, I'm speaking plainly and painfully/Trying to stay elegant, eloquent and delicate to you” - Body to Flame

This one just scratches my brain tbh. This whole song is beautiful and just the very human concept of knowing someone so well and yet somehow not fully understanding them because we are all so unpredictable

“The future isn't worth its weight in gold / The future is a benevolent black hole” - Cartwheel

Not being ready to face the future, especially when it takes things and people away from you. Change is hard, change is scary, change is autism’s worst nightmare (and therefore mine). Yet she also implies that the future, while vast and unknown and forcing change, is not inherently evil. The future can bring good things, even if you’re not ready for it.

“I wanna run my fingers through you / You say nobody understands you like I do” - Partner in Crime

Once again this just makes my brain go ‼️

“You called me cerebral / I didn't know what you meant / But now I do, would it have killed you / To call me pretty instead?” -Brando

This line and I Don’t Wanna Be Funny Anymore hit me for the same reasons. Growing up being forced into the role of the funny one or the smart one but I was never pretty. It’s just that frustration with people who can’t even bother to give straightforward praise/compliments, calling you an old soul or wise for your age or cerebral. What does that even mean, when you’re 10 years old and just like to read books but they paint you as a scholar or you’re 15 and you’ve never had someone other than your grandmother tell you you’re beautiful. Like goddamn just let me be pretty for once.

“I'm staring at my hands / Red, ruddy skin, I don't understand / How did they betray me? What did I do?” - Triple Dog Dare

After I came out to my family at 15 years old I wasn’t allowed to see my friends outside of school for months. I internalized it, I mean I was still dealing with severe internalized homophobia from the church and I thought it must be My Fault. I remember apologizing to my friends, crying, because I wasn’t allowed to come over or hang out with them. As if it was my fault. I would spend hours regretting coming out, wondering what I did that was so wrong. This line just sits in my brain and wow Lucy Dacus is just like me fr

“I want you to tell me that you miss me / Want you to hold and hurt and kiss me / I wanna run away and live on your family's boat” - Triple Dog Dare

As you can tell by my pinned post I have Feelings about this verse. I’ve posted about this before but this song is the perfect example of young queer love and how adults interfere and see it as impure. This line specifically just highlights that need to be with that person, for them to hold you and kiss you and even if they’re hurting you at least it’s proof they’re there. The need to to run away with them because even if you’re missing at least you’re together in the end. God this song makes me fucking feral.

“But it feels good to be known so well / I can't hide from you like I hide from myself / I remember who I am when I'm with you / Your love is tough, your love is tried and true-blue” -True Blue

I’m really gay and I love my girlfriend <3

But also like this song just fucking hits oh my god. Being known and loved by someone in a way that is so genuine, so honest, so raw. The parts of yourself you are ashamed of they embrace openly. A dependable and honest love that makes you remember yourself, truly see yourself.

“I wanna live a vibrant life / But I wanna die a boring death”

AND

“Oh, it hurts to hope for more / Oh, it hurts to hope the future / Will be better than before” - Afraid of Heights

I remember after my first listen of this song I just sat there stunned, crying. This song is so dear to me and Lucy has my entire heart. I relate to the concept of a toxic friendship in which the person pushes your boundaries and shames you for them. Every word of this song resonates and I’m so tired so I don’t think I can do it justice but I truly have many thoughts on it.

The wish to just live a bright and exciting life but not die in a risky, stressful, painful way. The pain of the unknown, of the future, once again going back to the benevolent black hole. Just hoping that one day things will be better because it’s all you can hold on to but it hurts so much some days

This got so long 🫠 I recognize I have a problem and I just want y’all to know I love Lucy Dacus she’s everything to me <33

[faceglitchsworld]

It's the 13th of March here, which means one thing... it's Beomgyu's birthday! 🥳

Here's the collage I made for him ☺️

Very, very proud for this, capturing every side of him was very simple this time. As always the selcas have two of my weak point, glasses and hairbands, even tho I fought with the photos this time, zooming wise. I'm very sorry, but believe me, Beomgyu is wearing an hairband in the right middle.

Outfit wise, I decided to put in the middle my favourite TxT era + the song which made me fall in love with them. Probably I'll do this for the other members too maybe 🤔

Time for the little letter now.

Before becoming a full time OT5 stan, Beomgyu was my first and only ultimate bias at the time. There were many reasons for this.

First and foremost I think that the main reason why I fell in love with him was his fun personality. I clearly remember the first time I tried to see an interview TxT made for a magazine (must admit, I checked those because of the subtitles 😅) and how Beomgyu immediately stood out during it. And from that video I became literally obsessed with how he acted towards the members especially towards Yeonjun. My gosh, you don't have any idea how much I laughed while watching compilations of Beomgyu and Yeonjun being literally Tom and Jerry every second. And not let me start talking about every time I tried to watch a To Do Episode and I needed to stop for a second because of Beomgyu. This boy was meant to make me laugh.

I also want to talk about another wonderful thing Beomgyu did when I started my entire K-pop experience. If you've followed me for a while probably you know that I go completely crazy when two groups interacts together or even make collab (cough*theWeUsfamily*cough *theBTXTcrumbs*cough). Sometimes I even think about how collabs between my faves might work. The reason why I'm like this is thanks to Beomgyu. It's 2021, I finally added Stray Kids into my stan list with TxT and Monsta X. I'm minding my own business when I receive a notification about a TxT update. I click on it and I discover that Beomgyu made a selfie with I.N. I've been stunned for five minutes. And then my heart was overwhelmed of joy. It was the first time where I saw two of my faves interact to each other. Ok, ok, I admit it, I didn't know at the time that they were friends already. My bad. But I will never forget how I was relieved at the time. Seeing what seemed to me a genuine friendship into this competitive industry made me really happy. It was a ray of light for me, really.

And now, I think it's time to talk about something that is connected to him in a very special way: Maze in the Mirror. Ok, little story time. I was doing a little TxT marathon through their discography, I reached The dream chapter: Eternity and I started to listen to it. Everything was pretty normal until Maze in the Mirror started. I don't know what happened to me but I felt something different. I noticed that all the members were shining differently. It was like that song was more...personal to them. I stopped listening to the album and I searched the translated lyrics, which is something I rarely do, and I searched the credits. And once again I thanked my instinct since I was right. This was a song where they worked on.

But what caught me off guard was noticing that Beomgyu helped in the production too. I think it was that moment where I understood him a little better. I've understood that the same member who made me laugh and brighted my days was the same one who decided to hide his insecurities and fears with a smile. And I've understood that the minimal melody I loved so much in Maze in the Mirror was his personal way to communicate with us those insecurities. Yup, I think you've might understood it now, the reason why I love this song so much is thank to him and I'll be always be grateful for that.

My dear Beomgyu, thank you for being the kind friend who always looks up to the other members every time. Thank you for making my days a little more better with your effortless comedy. Thank you for just being you. Probably you don't feel the same insecurities you had while writing Maze in the Mirror anymore but, if there will be a moment, any moment, where you'll think that your efforts aren't enough remember that you have four amazing friends who'll always be with you. And remember that MOAs appreciate you in the way you are, always.

Hope you'll spent a great and funny day with the members and that you'll receive amazing gifts from them and your family too.

Happy birthday, teddy bear 🧸

[shortkingshapeshiftr]

Ok, So I Rewatched Brother Bear II - Let's Talk About It!

Alrighty, so I just finished re-watching Brother Bear II. I recall viewing it almost a year ago, but I didn't have many positive things to say about it. But what do I think about it now that seen both the first and second movies recently? Well, let's get into it! It's gonna be a long one, lol.

Starting off simple, I'd say the animation is decent enough. The backgrounds are, arguably, the closest to the original movie. There are some moments where the character models do look off, giving that sense of "direct-to-VHS Disney movie vibe." When comparing it to other low budget Disney animated sequels of the 90's to 2000's, it doesn't look half bad. Not as pretty as the original, but still good-looking!

Music-wise, I found the discography to be rather forgettable and disappointing. Perhaps this is a hot take, but I wasn't entirely a fan of the soundtrack in the original, either. Now, that isn't to say that the first didn't have fantastic songs! The song "Transformation" is easily one of my favorites, and I find it to be emotionally very moving. It just feels like some of the songs, even if they mean something to me, are under-cooked. And maybe this is another hot take, but I'm not big on Phil Collins music, either. No hate to Phil! Getting back to the soundtrack of the second movie, I can't really say that much about it. It's rather boring in my opinion, and I find myself not resonating with it. The first movie had songs that meant something to me, but I do acknowledge could've been tweaked more sonically or lyrically, "Welcome" being an example of this. Brother Bear II's lacks any bite. So in short, the OST for the sequel is pretty mediocre and didn't spark much in me. Definitely a downgrade compared to the original.

Next up is the story/plot elements. Maybe this is just bias, but I personally didn't find the story or plot to be that interesting. It is a rather generic love story; one about two long-lost lovers who start off disliking each other, only to get together in the end. Many of the plot elements felt more like mindless filler than intentional story/character development. The scene with the raccoons being the prime example of this. In general, I would say this is much more of a "silly" movie compared to the original. This film is definitely marketing towards a younger audience, but in a rather cheap, half-baked kind of way. Now I do understand why scenes like the raccoon scene exist, it gives a reason for Kenai and Nita to bond with each other and eventually fall in love. My issue is just how it's handled, that's all. It feels... disingenuous? Forced? I'm not sure how to describe it, but Kenai and Nita's relationship and how it's handled leaves me feeling... odd. I don't know, just in general I feel like it could've been fleshed out more and, again, have a little bit more bite like the original.

Onto the character stuff! Again, similar to my previous talking points, the characters just didn't live up to the original. Throughout the movie, I just kept yelling in my head: "JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER ALREADY, COMMUNICATE!" That happened a lot in this movie, moments that easily could've been solved if you just... talked honestly for like two seconds. It was a smidge frustrating, given how easy some of the tension could've been lifted. I also feel like Kenai's constant flip-flopping between Nita and Koda to be a bit off as well. In the beginning, Kenai is clearly jealous that Koda is getting along with Nita (Nita isn't romantically interested in Kenai, which Kenai is upset about.) Later on in the film, this is flipped, so now Koda is jealous/upset that Kenai is hanging out with Nita. My issue is how quickly Kenai forgets about Koda, given what happened in the first movie. Kenai is responsible for the death of Koda's mom, Kenai knows that Koda looks up to parental/familial figures in his life. Kenai understands that he owes Koda so much and has to look out for him, but in a short span of time practically ditches him. It just felt kinda of off, given that the end of the movie was literally about Kenai becoming the titular "brother bear" to Koda and being responsible for him, loving him. That massive element of Koda's character, his emotional attachment to a parental figure, really only comes up later in the movie. I felt like this could've been expanded upon a smidge more, perhaps through... communicating with the other characters. As a side note, I also find the moose characters to be kind of unnecessary. To me, the comic-relief moose in the first movie were one of the weaker parts, so considering they got significantly more screen-time in the sequel just made it a bit more annoying. In the end, they get the girls who magically lose their self-awareness, regardless of how manipulative they were. It's ok, the story and plot is ok. Nothing to ride home about.

It's all just middle of the road, that's the best way I could describe Brother Bear II. It's not as good as the original, and I feel like it has many pitfalls. It doesn't really expand much on the world of Brother Bear, and it is rather generic. Again, it's just an inoffensive, mid movie that I can't bring myself to get that mad about. Not much else to say about it.

That's all I got for now. Thank you for toiling through my long-ass, late-night post. There will be more bear stuff to come! 🐻

[stinkyhyena9000]

Screw it, I'm forcing you all to listen to my video ideas. And by forcing you to listen, I mean allowing you to read at your own leisure. Please note that everything audio-wise and more will be spoiled.

So, the Mike music video was actually an idea from a very long time back, and only just thought of again due to a friend of mine *ahemhem* and yeah. Mike is a super funny guy, and I got the idea from this one edit for a game I can't seem to remember. It looks Sega-y idk. Anyways, the song used will be this the B52's cover of Bad Guy - Billie Eilish [ x ]. A silly song for a silly man.

So you're a tough guy Like it really rough guy Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type Make your girlfriend mad tight Might seduce your dad type I'm the bad guy, duh -------------------------------

The Ash music video is based around my transfem headcanon of her, which is based off this one scene in Sing 1, where after auditions, Buster asks "which one is the girl" when trying to recruit Ash. I interpreted it as her struggling to pass. Yes, Lance does know shes trans and supports her. He's just a total douchebag. He's a dickbag, not a transphobe asdusahdsau. Anyways, the song being used will be Transgender Dysphoria Blues - Against Me! [ x ]. A song whose still I think fits her very finely.

Your tells are so obvious Shoulders too broad for a girl Keeps you reminded Helps you to remember where you come from

You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a faggot They hold their breath not to catch the sick

Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone -------------------------------

The Marcus music video was an idea I got indirectly from a friend of mine, and will focus on the troubled relationship between Johnny and Marcus in Sing 1. The song would be Little Soldiers - The Crane Wives [ x ] In this context, the song details how he has always loved his son, even if there is a lot of trouble between the two of them.

On the broken backs of all the words we spared Like little soldiers in the trenches It was a march we made towards ruin and despair But we held hands all the while

I swear that I loved you I swear that I loved you I swear that I loved you I swear, I swear

Personally I think the next following set of lyrics fit more closely to the story here, but I wouldn't be able to make it outside of an AMV in my head.

(Btw the AMV in my head is Marcus returning to jail, and getting letters from Johnny while in prison)

-------------------------------

Buster dance comp is kinda self explanatory. Someone did request me to do it alongside the hop comp, but I opted not too due to the large ratio between dances and hops

-------------------------------

Okay so like, the Noodlemoon meme vid is basically me trying to take a crack at this one TikTok animation meme but without animating? I don't know how well it would go, but it's too cute not to give it a try! Here's an example of one of the meme! [ x ]. In here, Knuckles would be Buster, and Sonic would be Eddie.

Buster: I'm going to confess to you at the reopening! Eddie: Eh?! Buster: Will you be free after lunch? Eddie: Hm! (Yes) Buster: So be prepared! Eddie: Okay Buster: Why is your face all red? Eddie: Because you basically confessed Buster: Forget what I said

[yukiakaren]

Kpop title track ranking: VIXX

In this series I’ll be ranking kpop groups/soloists title tracks based on my taste.

VIXX is one of my ult groups. This is very much backed up by the fact that my tumblr archive tells me that VIXX is my second most used tag of all time. Now having this Leo&Ken&Hyuk MNET reunion stage made me listen to VIXX a lot after a while and reminded me that I could do this ranking thing for their songs too, so here we go! (I basically love them all so this is going to be both pointless and extremely difficult xD) 

Eternity - My true love. This was the first VIXX song that heard a snippet of and I had to go and listen to the full song. That was the most right choice ever made. I loved it immediately. And after all these years my love for this song just keeps on getting stronger. It’s a masterpiece and I love it to bits. Also just the instrumental version of it gets me all emotional. It’s incredible.

Error - Another tear jerker (next to Eternity). My first ever comeback as a Starlight and they delivered. I love this to bits too, Eternity just has even more special place in my heart.

Scentist - Mature masterpiece. Damn it’s just awesome. I wish we could have gotten even more of this mature and gorgeous VIXX.

Shangri-La - It’s so gorgeous! Just all about it. It’s just so pleasing to listen to.

Voodoo Doll - After that Leo&Ken&Hyuk reunion stage I’ve been stuck on Voodoo Doll! Usually I would probably not put it before On and On but right now yes I will!

On and On - And the concept kings were born! I had a period when this was my favorite VIXX song. It’s still great as ever and I can’t help loving it.

Hyde - I love the duality concept so so much!!! Those stage outfits being split 3-3 was so cool. Truly I love these songs so much and it just depends on my current mood how I rank them.

Fantasy - I have to say hearing this now, after quite a few years, I realize that I have not given this one enough credit. It’s incredible!! I’ve always liked it, sure, but somehow I’ve never given it much thought other than that. It still ends up in the middle of the pack as I have too much nostalgia-driven love for the other before it but oh my I’ve been wrong here!

Rock Ur Body - It’s such a cheerful one! Okay, I have to admit that when I first got into VIXX I didn’t like this one immediately but I grew to like it too. But I have to say it’s so catchy and cheerful I can’t help nut think fondly of it.

Super Hero - Another such cheerful one! The styling in the music video has seen better days (I mean maybe it did) but other than that I don’t think it has aged badly. It’s cute and bubbly and I’m here for it!

Chained Up - Oh boy oh boy Chained Up. There are layers here, aren’t there? The concept. Anyway. It is so so catchy, and there is no way to deny that. Also SBS Gayo Daejun 2015 performance, the noise that added to the chorus. I’m obsessed! Why doesn’t it belong to the original version, I’m so bitter xD

Dynamite - Cheerful but more grown up than the first two. Groovy? Very enjoyable but I have to say I quite rarely find myself wanting to go for Dynamite specifically.

Love Equation - This is such a special case as it actually is a remake. Counted it in because they performed it on music shows. Good that they did as they ended up winning so much with it! Happy and proud Starlight here. As a song it’s cheerful sound-wise and then you read the lyrics and you go “Oh it’s a breakup song!” Lovely but I personally usually go for the others instead.

The Closer - I admit it. I never quite got The Closer. I don’t know why but it never clicked with me. I don’t actively dislike it but I don’t get anything out of it either. And that’s just too bad. AND can we talk about the video? Poor N - who’s terrified of heights - you made him hang of that edge... Poor thing ;_; 

G.R.8.U - I didn’t even remember that this was actually a title track, oops. It’s cute and fun but I guess me forgetting that it actually is a title track tells all that needs to be told xD 

What can I even say? VIXX is amazing. Their music is amazing. I still love them dearly and have a glimmer of hope that one day we could get a proper VIXX comeback.

[impablohurtado]

August 14th

I like to think of all the people poems have been written for.

Every classic love ballad,

Every sonnet,

Every verse,

A lyric in a song,

Every turn of phrase chosen carefully,

Tucked between words trying to find new ways to describe how someone makes the writers heart flutter and grow.

All those emotions that would've been other wise lost,

Recorded for history,

Because love sometimes is greater than time,

Maybe the only idea that can travel along side the years,

Not pausing or failing,

Existing because it did once so strongly that it was enough

When Pablo Neruda wrote,

"I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long."

Who was he trying to forget?

Did she know he'd affixed a part in his poems just for her,

That for generations people would read of his soul being unsatisfied for having lost her.

Mary Oliver once wrote of how she enjoyed being in the woods alone,

Talking to the birds, hugging the old black oak trees,

To become invisible amongst the roses singing.

She said,

"If you have ever gone into the woods with me, I must love you very much."

Who did she let accompany her,

Did they know what it meant to be there by her side?

For every one written,

On the opposite side of the text stood a person,

A face in the mind of a writer.

How do you convey the way someone fills the days up in such a way they would feel empty without them,

And in feeling empty, be lesser and feel longer.

It seems impossible to fit the whole of a person within a few lines.

Maybe it's why writers can't stop writing,

Maybe it's why I still find words for you.

I think of how someday mine could be read,

How people may wonder over time...

How many people occuppied the space for him to write for them?

When the truth will be, they were mostly ever for you.

I once found an envelope filled with words my dad wrote to my mother,

When I was still a baby and he was locked away for a short while,

Some poems,

Others just letters,

But I did not read them,

Because they were for her and not for me.

Now others may read these poems I've written,

But only you know they are for you.

Time makes us all fade,

We grow old,

Our bodies betray us,

But life goes on.

New people will love,

We'll turn to memories,

Most things will change,

But the words shared,

They always stay the same after they are put down.

I hope that when you are feeling low,

When the days get long and you find it hard to catch your breath,

When you feel less than enough,

That you can read these and know you are more than the sum of your parts,

The good and the bad,

That the love in your heart is so strong it grips those around you,

It makes them better people,

That there's a goodness in your smile that catches everyone,

The way it found its way to me and hasn't left all these years later.

In being friends, in being anything more,

Through it all, the constant was comfort,

Not just in my life, but all of those you touch.

Special doesn't seem enough of a word,

But for now, *

For this poem it will do,

It's exactly what you are.

You once told me if I'd never met you,

I wouldn't know the difference of you being in my life or not,

But I think in some way I would,

That quality in my day would be missing,

The feeling in the air I couldn't quite put my finger on,

The lingering thought that there's something wonderful missing in the world.

[pixelatedquarter]

Okay, so far (dates 1-3 of tourdust) we have:

The set changes to drop a giant doberman head that, contrary to what I theorized in the days leading up to tourdust, does not shoot bubbles from its mouth, but in the same set change translucent balls are dropped (And in at least one occasion have been kicked by Joe ) and the mouth does move to sing along, and then a tree shows up (and it is very relevant that it is real and you can touch it)

'Pyrotechnics & Flames' includes Pete fucking around with a Flamethrower Bass

Piano with no setlist that in Patrick's words was added because Pete thought it would be cool and when confronting him with "I dont really play songs that aren't mine and i don't really have piano songs and i don't really play piano" the only answer was "eh, you'll figure it out". And he did. The motherfucker. Figuring things out on the spot.

Baby Annihilation, the spoken word poetry, which includes a disappearing magic trick by Pete, who then shows up on top of the tree and then is back down doing shenanigans like doing laps around the crowd by the time they play the next FOB song (what, did i forget to mention after the trick to give him time they play a fragment of Crazy Train? whoops my bad.)

The setlist includes songs from all eras, it is currently unknown which ones because they could change at any time. This is being docummented extensively but important mentions for the sake of the fuckitweballery are: Headfirst which used to be booed during Folie days, and Patrick wanted to play again and after getting good reception at Heaven they've added it to the set, Heaven Iowa which is Andy's favourite track in the album, Gin Joints which Joe mentioned wanting to play again in his book was an 8 ball song (ty @omegalomania for pointing it out!) and also a section is dedicated to travelling back and it seems to feature mainly TTTYG. On the note of things changing at any time Take Over was swapped with Hum Hallelujah for Kansas.

Here's the lists for Chicago, St. Louis (no Kansas available yet), it is its own point instead of being just a fun "might as well add this" because the magic 8 ball song is written in code :3. And the first version that leaked is also different, btw.

The Magic 8 Ball is a bit where Pete asks it if they should play a surprise song, so far it can be a song they've never played before or an old song that's out of their set rotation. So far it's been GINASFS ("a song we've never played before", codename GOLF) Gin Joints ("an old song about crashed cars", codename GAMMA JULIET) and Sophomore Slump ("Let me see that sign...let me tell you right now the magic 8 ball cannot be hypnotized or fucking intimidated"/"is this our sophomore slump?", codename unknown, what IS known is that joe didn't know how to play it)

Patrick sings the Arms Race call and response with that aforementioned giant Doberman head, which as mentioned before moves its mouth in time with the lyrics, good dog. (as pointed out by @mageshine-dance)

Pete also likes to interact with the doggie. In his Pete way.

They stroll around with maybe maybe not stage passes (and because they're very Some Guy passing and playing large venues here's the mugshots poster for venue employees) pete showed up to take a picture with the queue.

Meanwhile Joe is using this strolling time to hide copies of his book for a scavenger hunt.

(Patrick and Andy are being more normal about this freedom and have been spotted listening to the openers, not really fuckitweballing material smh but just in case you're wondering if we know anything about what they've been up to)

(Did you know there's a character limit for how long you can make a single block of text (like a bulleted list) before tumblr breaks it up? Because tumblr forgets and reformats it into a single block every time you edit and then doesn't let you save until you've changed it back. Hopefully this fixes it, but this IS the website of all time.)

Ah yes how could we forget, clothing-wise Andy maintains his iconic look, moobs on full display, black shorts (Also probably referenced the MTG buttcrack guy meme). Joe has been keeping it real with a grey t-shirt and jeans. Pete is donning a blue poncho/hoodie/The-Mesh&Rose-Harness for a triple layered striptease and leather pants. Patrick's been consistent with this era with a t-shirt, jacket, baseball cap and a variety of jeans-

lol who's kidding, this is the Fuck It We Ball compilation there's a reason we're listing outfits like we're in My Immortal: the t-shirt depicts a crying sun & smiling moon and matches Pete's hoodie and for Kansas he decided to do away with the t-shirt and cap and instead wear a black shirt and fedora combo.

Also because last section's links served the not-so-hidden purpose of highlighting how insanely soulmates they have been, it would be a grave omission to not add this moment to the list.

And more posing happened with the Kansas crowd picture.

Credit list is massive so it's here instead

Here's links to part 2 and 3

Someone needs to start compiling all the ways this is THE tour of Fuck It We Ball before we forget things like Joe literally has a scavenger hunt for his book going on and Pete managed to convince Patrick to spontaneous piano with a "eh you'll figure it out" (thus causing night 3 to be "Patrick deadass figures he may as well play a piano cover of I'm Like A Lawyer") and Pete's magic trick apparentyl coming with variants (or at least that he went for a crowd lap) because it's the details that elevate this tour from "there's extra surprise songs with the 8 ball gimmick and a piano intermission" to "Fuck. It. WE. BALL."