#man this is going to be irritating to read soz

[clarabowmp3]

Top 13 TTPD lyrics this week?

JUST SAY WHEN ID PLAY AGAIN HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND DOWN AT THE SANDLOT I FELT MORE WHEN WED PLAY PRETEND THAN WITH ALL THE KENS CUZ HE TOOK ME OUT OF MY BOX!! STOLE MY TORTURED HEART!!! LEFT ALL THESE BROKEN PARTS!!!!!! TOLD ME IM BETTER OFF!!!!!!1 BUT IMMMMMM NOT

swirled you into all of my poems..................

and all at once,,the ink bleeds,,,,,a conman sells a fool,,,,a get-love-quick scheme,,,,

crashing into him tonight hes a p a r a d o x, im seeing visions am i bad?? or mad??? or wise???? / i Keep recalling Things we Ne ver did messytoPliPkIss howilong for Our Tryst, without every touchingHisSkin how can I be guilty as sin 🙈🙈🙈

the whole of tsmwel bridge but esp in plain sight you hid...but you are what you did......and I'll forget YOU but I'll never forgive the smaallest man...who ever......lived

light camera bitch smile in stilettos for miles! He said! He'd love! Me for! All time!!!!!!!

I crashed into you like so many wrecks do! too impaired by my Youth! to know what to do.....

i just don't understand........how you dont MISS ME, in the SHOWER, and RMB, how my RAIN SOAKED BODY was SHAKING, DO YOU HATE ME, was it HAZING for a CRUEL FRATERNITY i pledged...and i stilll mean...it...... (obligatory 'were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke ���😞)

and it was written...i got cursed like eve got bit ten, oh......was it punishment...............

andyou said you'd come and get me! BUT you were 25,,, and the shelf life of those fantasies has expired........

breath of fresh air through smoke rings 😊😊

the whole of how did it end. i cant pick 😭

not that i like this song much but....no one's ever had me...not like you......................

[all-or-nothing-baby]

Sticks and Stones Will Break Our Bones But Names Will Break Our Spirits

_____________________________

Word Count: [957]

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: None

Characters: Sam & Dean Winchester

Tags: S7 ep3 'The Girl Next Door' Coda, Frustrated!Dean, Hurt!Dean, Sad!Dean, Comforting!Sam, Adoring!Sam, Sam Takes Care of Dean (in a mothering kinda way) Sam Winchester Loves his Brother, Dean Winchester Loves His Sammy, Codependency Like No Other, Dean Loves Sam Like He wants To Make The Sun Rise Just For Him; And Sam Loves Dean Like He He Wants To Break The Sun So Dean Doesn't Have To Anymore, hurt/comfort, Brotherly Love.

_____________________________

"I'm fucking useless," Dean insisted. He picked at a hole sprouting foamy-innards on the arm of the ancient sofa inside of Rufus' log cabin. His other hand, balled into a fist, punched the plaster cast that covered his leg.

Sam sighed, drawn-out and heavy. This was going to be a long couple of weeks.

"No, Dean. You're not useless. Just a little more… harmless than usual." Sam tried really hard not to smile.

Dean dug down the side of the sofa, almost instantly pulling out his gun and shaking the uncocked piece around like a single maraca.

"I said useless, Sammy, not defenseless."

Sam tried even harder not to roll his eyes.

"Why you bitching 'bout feeling useless then, man?" Sam asked lightly, as he moved around the room in small circles, laying things like the TV remote and bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos within easy reach for his laid-up big brother.

"Because… because." Dean cut himself off prematurely.

Sam was unsure where this was headed, but wanted to prod almost as much as he didn't.

"Because…?" he prompted.

Dean opened his mouth a few times like a fish out of water. Looked at Sam. Looked away. Opened a bag of his favourite chips.

"Because, smart-guy," Dean's signature sarcasm finally brimmed over, "I ain't got as many... talents as some." Dean chanced the briefest of glances in Sam's direction.

"Aw, you think I'm talented?" Sam smirked, and Dean's honesty-moment almost passed.

"Okay, you know what?--"

"Dean, I'm kidding," Sam apologised without apologising, his eyes now fully open in question. "Go on."

The muscles in Dean's jaw ticked a couple of times before he sheepishly continued.

"Laid up, like this?" Dean began. Cleared his throat. "I can't fight, Sam. Can't drive. Can't cook," he blurted, "and I can't look after my irritating and freakishly tall little brother like I'm 'sposed to, neither," Dean managed to get out in one breath, embarrassed and frustrated and ashamed.

Sam's smirk dropped from his face like they were aboard some kind of spacecraft and the artificial gravity had just been switched to 'on'.

He strode across the open plan room in three huge strides and bent down on his haunches in front of Dean, clasping a huge hand onto his brother's shoulder.

The only things eating the bag of chips now were Dean's downward-looking, abashed eyes.

"Dean?" Sam asked without asking. "Will you look at me a minute?" his voice soft and deep and low.

Dean chewed on his lip, undecided. Until his curiosity decided for him.

Dean looked up at the boy who was no longer a boy and hadn't been a boy for such a very longtime. Yet, to Dean, this Gigantor of a man--his little brother, Sammy--would always be the one thing he had to get right, even if he'd done wrong by him so many times over.

Dean's eyes couldn't stay trained. They flicked from Sam to door, to table, to Sam, to the floor and back to Sam in mere seconds.

"You've been looking after me your whole damn life, Dean. You've taught me and shown me and loved me," Sam said, so easily earnest, years of feelings flowering out in one sentence. "Now just let me repay some of that unfaltering fucking kindness, would'ya?" Sam didn't swear as often as Dean so when he did, Dean tended to take notice.

Dean's dimples twitched into submission. But his eyes sang a song of utter need.

Sam's heart suddenly clenched in his chest.

This man in front of him, made from pure and solid loyalty; this protector, Sam's protector--Sam's number One Goddamn Hero--was somehow now the little boy he'd known only in photos, the ones where Sam was just a babe in arms.

Dean was embarrassed, yes, and more than likely frustrated and ashamed. But he was also vulnerable, unsure and lost--and Sam had never felt so in awe of anyone.

Sam lunged on the toes of his boots till his body was flush with Dean's, squashing Dean further into the ratty old couch, Dean's arms flailing in sudden confusion. One of Sam's flannelled arms grabbed his brother by his shoulder and crushed Dean--now powerless--into his firm embrace; the other arm came around the back of Dean's head, Sam's chin now tucking itself over it in an involuntary yet definite protective grip of unadulterated affection.

Dean whole body was tense, in shock with this confusing display of rare affection being suddenly and so fiercely shared between them.

Sam didn't let up though and slowly, slowly... Dean let himself melt into Sam. Dean's strong, freckled arms wrapped around his brother, one enveloping the broadest of shoulders, the other around a slim, Kale-fed waist. And they just… stayed like that.

Breathing. Being. Just boys again, if only for the briefest of moments.

It was a moment they both sorely needed.

Sam and Dean Winchester had always just needed for each other to simply be okay--and to let each other know when they weren't, and that that was really okay too.

Dean finally let up, but didn't pull away straight away. He pulled back just enough to hold Sam's face. He then put his full lips to Sam's exposed forehead in a brief but loaded kiss.

"Love ya, bitch," he mumbled, and gently pushed Sam backwards.

Sam rolled his eyes back as he went, fervently this time.

"Love you too, jerk," he smiled, and gave his brother a look of pure adoration.

"It's cuz I'm freakin' adorable, Sammy," Dean annoyingly insisted, somehow startlingly accurate, then added, "and incredibly handsome, obviously," in obnoxious, Dean-like conclusion.

Sam huffed a small laugh.

"Yeah, humble too," he grinned, borrowing some of his brother's sarcasm.

Dean couldn't disagree with that.

"And most definitely not fucking useless."

And--if he tried hard enough to see himself like his beautiful, kind and wise little brother did--maybe, just maybe, Dean couldn't quite disagree with that either, even if it were only for the briefest of moments.

_____________________________

Wow, I just boshed this out in one sitting (it's unedited so soz) and I think I'm maybe really, really in need of a hug! And imagining a Sam Winchester hug always helps to get me thorough life's shit and slag.

When I read it back to myself, it made me think of the quote below (from who-knows how long ago) and I just spent an age trying to find it before I could post... xD

I have no idea where this ^ originally came from, but, to me, it is the absolute epitome of the Winchester brothers realtionship...

#sam and dean forever

[I'll tag later, I need a frickin nap.]

Tags:  @petrichoravellichor @narraukoiel @aloha-cowgirl @suckerfordeansfreckles @verobatto-angelxhunter @winchester-reload @wanderingcas @may-darling @crack--attack @dammitsammy @ladystiltskin67 @cutelittlekittykorner @trenchcoatsandfreckles @shealynn88 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @moderatelypanickedbiromantic @a-mess-of-many-fandoms @hectatess @northofantastic @notwithd @peanutbutterandgrapejelly @legendary-destiel @ladywaywarddsc @ladygotsoul @avidbkwrm @superwholockpartyof1 @superwholockandbooks-art @collectorofsecretsandsouls @apieceofurmind @staycejo1 @mishezza @lovemesomecas94 @katekarnage7 @cloverhighfive @sillyyjackie @hellfire37 @pimentogirl @reallyelegantsharkfish @galaxy-charm  please message me if you'd like adding/removing from the list...

[weconqueratdawn]

chapter seven - gradence catboy au

[pretty sure links are back and working so we’re all back to normal *phew* though the tags still hate them]

Pussycat, Pussycat

Rating: Explicit Chapter: 7 of 8 (c. 30k words in total) Tags: Catboys/Human Hybrids, AU - no Grindelwald or Mary Lou, Master/pet, Humour, Graves Is Honestly So Fucked, Happy!Credence, Porn With Plot, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love

Fic Summary: Three months ago, Percival Graves was surprised to receive delivery of one (1) pet catboy after winning him in a raffle. Now Credence has decided Percival is his Owner, leaving Percival no option but to play along and without a clue what he should do next. All he knows is Credence has nowhere else to go. And also that he has the biggest dick Percival’s ever seen…

Chapter Summary: Back home again and Percival has more than one confession to make to Credence…

*

They took another taxi home.

Credence had grumbled about having to dress again--a rebellion which was a sure sign he was overtired--so Percival allowed him to take off his hat and coat off in the cab. A certain devil-may-care attitude had befallen his own self--probably a sign that Percival was overtired too. But what did it matter what the taxi driver thought? Who cared if they saw Credence’s ears or tail and realised what he was? Or what Percival was?

He was an Owner, that’s what he was.

Percival spent a little time practicing that in his mind. I am an Owner. This is my pet, Credence. Yes, he is beautiful, isn’t he? Touch him and I’ll snap your spine in two. That sort of thing. It was surprisingly satisfying and he found he was feeling quite good about himself.

Credence, however, was restless. It was dark in the back of the cab and the lights outside blurred past as they moved with unlikely speed through the streets. Percival got flashes of his face--he was drooping with tiredness but too distracted by the busyness outside to settle.

Percival reached for his hand and squeezed it. Credence turned to him and tugged at the neck of his sweater.

“Can I take these off too?” he asked.

“Wait until we get home,” Percival said.

Credence let go of the sweater and blinked owlishly around the cab. Percival saw the driver catch a glimpse of him in the mirror. He stared only for a second before he turned back to the wheel.

“Can I sit here?” Credence asked, pointing at Percival’s lap.

Usually, Percival would’ve said no. But tonight was different. Tonight he felt different, about Credence and about himself as well.

And Credence was in dire need of a nap.

“Yes, okay,” he said, and lifted his arm to admit him.

There wasn’t a lot of space on the backseat and, after some fidgeting around, Credence decided the best thing to do was to curl up with his back to the front seats and lay his head on Percival’s thigh. Percival’s hand went automatically to the back of his neck; he slowly massaged the soothing spot there, just under his collar. It didn’t take long for Credence to relax into something like sleep.

“Hey you back there!” the driver piped up. His face in the mirror was red, his hands gesturing angrily. “No funny business in my cab!”

Inside, mild irritation at the man’s stupidity warred with protectiveness. Percival glared fiercely and leaned closer to the driver.

“He’s sleeping,” he said in a harsh whisper. “What’s funny about that? Just keep your voice down and your eyes on the road. You’d better not wake him--especially if you want a tip.”

The driver huffed, cast a suspicious glance at Credence’s still form, but didn’t make another peep. Not even to say thank you at the end of the ride, when Percival handed him a whole dragot and told him to keep the change. 

read chapter on ao3 | read from the beginning

Fic is complete and will update every Sunday.

Huge thanks to @pangaeastarseed and @soz for letting me play in their ‘verse, which began life with @pangaeastarseed ‘s magnificent NSFW art(available in a wonderful art book here) and the fic “…Kitten” written by them both, which this fic is inspired by/a remix of.

AND ALSO featuring artwork by @theseavoices - cute kitty Credence animation here and NSFW illustration here XD

ko-fi | what is weconqueratdawn up to?

[sweetnestor]

12 Days | Chapter 6.2

Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.

***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience

lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa

previous

Tom’s eyes bolted open from the sharp movements next to him. He had fallen asleep on his side, facing away from Bella, only to be awoken by her. He turned around and looked at her; She was twitching in her sleep. She hummed and turned, sounding distressed. It was very bizarre.

Hesitating at first, Tom gently shook her shoulder. It didn't wake her up, but it did stop her twitching. He sighed in relief and turned back around, curling up under the sheets. However, his drooping eyes opened again at the feeling of an arm going around his waist.

“You're sleeping weird,” mumbled the soft, sleepy voice.

The hell does that mean? Whatever, Tom assumed the position anyway. He turned so he was facing Bella and he wrapped his arms around her. She nuzzled into his chest and relaxed into him, like sleeping with the love of her life was all she needed to recover from that dream she was having.

Was it bad that he kind of wished her was holding her as himself? Not that he had suddenly developed feelings for Bella after knowing her for 2 days; It wasn’t really her that was the issue. When was the last time any girl wanted to sleep in Tom’s arms? When was the last time he was innocently in bed with a girl? Those late nights with Zendaya hardly ended up like this, and that was usually his fault. Usually they were in his car or her’s as well, so there was no room for cuddling.

Not only that, Tom was just reluctant to have any physical contact that wasn't sexual. He wasn't sure why. Zendaya was honestly perfect. She had never done anything wrong in any aspect. She complied with his stupid “rules” despite that it wasn't what she wanted. Now, Tom was feeling guilty for it. Maybe he was just afraid of the public backlash. Maybe he wanted to save at least one thing from being put under the public microscope and just went about it the wrong way. Maybe when he was back in his own body, Tom could try to fix things with her. In the meantime, he had to date this pink haired girl who twitched and groaned in her sleep like she was possessed. Maybe he could learn from this relationship.

A lightbulb went off in Tom’s head. Was this the reason for the switch? Did he have to properly learn about a healthy relationship? He tried to imagine what Sonji the psychic would say about that. She would probably be super vague and hit him with a dab. Or she would actually hit him with a pack of tarot cards.

Eventually, Tom fell asleep and dreamt about switching back with Ethan. It went horribly wrong, and their faces morphed into something straight out of a horror movie. Melty skin, multiple limbs, voices crying out for death. He could hear Sonji laughing obnoxiously in the background. It was a weird dream.

He was pleased to find that he awoke naturally. No obnoxious alarms. Olivia wasn’t here to rapidly knock on his door and yell at him to get up. Harrison wasn’t here to literally pull him out of bed. There wasn’t a demanding schedule to follow. Tom shifted in the sheets and stretched his arms above his head, feeling strangely relaxed. That is, until he remembered where he was, and what exactly he had to do today.

Bella was nowhere to be seen. Tom immediately sat up, looking around the room. He heard voices coming from the living room, which only prompted him to grab his phone and check in with Ethan. For once, he wasn't left in the dark, and was pleased to find a string of messages. The first five were sent the night before.

“Got yelled at by Olivia but it seems like the schedule wasn’t completely fucked so that’s good I guess.”

“Harrison somehow knew about Zendaya already so I just kinda rolled with it”

“I might have made things worse for you with zendaya but I got her off my back for the time being. She’s all yours when we switch back.”

“Also yes i am aware that my gf is the best gn dude.”

“Don’t forget to try to edit some stuff tomorrow we’re not all made of money like you 🙃”

Tom sighed in relief, despite that that last passive aggressive text caused a wave of anxiety to surge in his stomach. Today, he was a YouTuber. Judging by what he had observed from the three other YouTubers he's been spending time with, it involved a lot of things he knew nothing about. As long as he kept a confident and positive mindset, this should be a breeze. Tom kept reading.  There were two more messages, sent earlier that morning. The words Tom read made his stomach knot up.

“Why are all your friends so much cooler than you?” it read. “Let Everyone™ try the suit one,.  direcotr didn’t seem to mind tho.”

“Oh man,” Tom whispered to himself. The mental image of tall and lanky Harrison trying on the Spidey suit did give him a right laugh, but also a small wave of anxiety. Had the executives not taken back the costume? And Tom wasn’t there to witness it?

Shaking it off, he replied to Ethan.

“Worked things out with Bella, should be fine until we switch back,” he wrote. “Thanks for talking to Daya. Oh, and Harrison knows everything that goes on with me. Have fun with that!��

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened. Tom jumped, nearly losing grasp of his phone. His heart racing, he looked over at Bella, who was mildly startled by Tom’s sudden move. Her eyes scanned over his body, the way he looked like a deer in headlights, the way he was clutching his phone like a lifeline.

“Morning, love,” Tom greeted, his voice embarrassingly higher than normal.

“Morning… didn't mean to spook you,” Bella replied with a nervous chuckle. “How long have you been up?”

“Uh, I've only just woken up.” He climbed out of bed and scanned the ground for his jeans. “Have you seen my trous- uh, pants?”

Bella gave him a look, but she went over to the bureau and opened up a drawer, pulling out a fresh pair of black jeans. She threw them over to Tom wordlessly. “Don't be an outfit repeater, chulo. Get ready, we're gonna go have lunch and then we're gonna take Jack and Signe to the airport.”

“Oh, they're leaving today?” Tom asked.

“I know, I wish they could stay longer. I miss having Jack as a roommate. The apartment feels so quiet and empty since he moved out.” She sighed as she left the room.

Tom raised an eyebrow at that statement. After putting his pants on, he shot another text to Ethan.

“So what's the deal with Bella and that Sean guy? Is he someone I need to keep an eye on?”

~

It was one miracle to survive a night with three strangers in an unknown apartment. It was another miracle that Tom survived lunch in a public restaurant with these three strangers. At the last moment, however, he remembered Ethan's nut allergy and made sure to stay away from anything that involved peanuts. Part of him feared he would forget about that particular detail and accidentally kill himself. Or, Ethan's body. Could he, Tom, die in this body?

Best not to think about it.

Anyway, he made it through midday. Later on, Bella was leading the way to the airport. Tom offered to drive, so as to seem like a decent boyfriend, but it only made Bella and Jack laugh. At least Tom wasn't the only one left in the dark about that; Signe seemed just as mildly confused as well.

The car pulled up to the front of one of the entrances. At least LAX was something Tom was familiar with. To think Ethan was here earlier… Thinking about him made Tom check his phone again. Nothing yet.

The four got out of the car. Sean and Signe retrieved their luggage from the trunk before saying their goodbyes. It was weird. They kept looking at Tom like they truly knew him, like he was actually their friend. But he's not Ethan Nestor. You've got the wrong guy, sorry.

“Thanks for everything, Baller,” Sean said as he hugged the pink haired girl. Again, Tom couldn't help but feel suspicious of their actions, despite that Bella hugged Signe next.

“You know you guys are welcome at any time,” Bella said. “Whether it's for uni, or whenever you guys feel like, I'll always have that extra room for you!”

“Ethan!” Sean exclaimed as he opened his arms. “My little stinky boy!”

Tom returned the gesture and hugged him. “It was good seeing you again, mate. Have a safe flight.”

“Alright, mate,” he replied in a mock British accent.

“My turn!” Signe piped up as she came in between the two boys. “Bye, Ethan!” She stood on her toes to hug him around his shoulders.

After that, the couple ventured into the building, their luggage in tow. Bella and Tom watched them as they leaned against the side of the car. Bella lied her head on his shoulder for a moment.

"Ya los extraño,” she sighed.

“Yeah,” Tom replied even though he had no idea what she said. Then, he changed the subject. “Hey, can you take me home? I gotta start editing.”

Her hand went into his, squeezing tightly. She didn't say anything at first, which was a little off putting. But she agreed, let go of his hand, and went to the driver's side. Before starting the car, she turned to him.

“You don't wanna see Helena?” she asked, a concerned look on her face. “After what happened the other day, and after what you told me yesterday?”

Who the everloving fuck is Helena?

“No, I'm fine,” Tom said as he checked his phone yet again. “It's fine.”

“You sure? I have an appointment with her, but you can take it if you really need to,” Bella gently pressed.

He shook his head. “Really, I'm good. I just really need to work on some videos.”

She watched him for a second, but then turned the engine over. “Well, you are starting to sound like yourself again.”

Thank god.

Traveling twenty miles took a lot longer than it should have, given the amount of traffic. Bella handled it like a pro, not getting irritated or annoyed at the other drivers, whereas Tom wanted to take control and navigate the whole ride out of sheer irritation. He knew better now, though. Apparently, Ethan wasn't allowed to drive.

Tom enjoyed Bella’s singing too, even if she was singing depressing songs. He stared out the window and listened to the pretty voice, reflecting on his life and his choices, missing Zendaya, missing his own fans. Missing people he hadn't thought about in ages…

And then an upbeat song started playing, sending Tom back to reality. He looked down at his phone again and unlocked it. Curious, he opened up the Twitter app. The feed wasn't anything special; Just stuff about gaming, various celebrities, and other YouTubers. Then, feeling a little bold, he decided to type out a new tweet.

“Had to say goodbye to Sean and Signe. So good spending time with those smelly boys again. I miss em’ already”

Replies started coming in almost immediately. It was much like Tom’s own feed. He didn’t realize Ethan had fans of his own. He chuckled in disbelief, which caught his girlfriend's attention.

“What is it?” she asked.

Shit. Tom scrolled and tapped a random tweet, quickly skimming it.

“I put an apostrophe in the wrong place and everyone's attacking me,” he told her as he replied to another person.

“That's the Internet for you,” Bella said in response.

After a few more minutes, she finally pulled up in front of Ethan's apartment building. Tom took off his seat belt and grabbed the door handle before Bella put her hand on his shoulder.

“Are you sure you don't wanna see Helena?” she asked him seriously.

“Positive,” he said, giving her a reassuring smile. “I'll call you later, okay?”

“Text me,” she corrected. “Oh, and don't forget about tomorrow!”

He nodded like he knew exactly what was going on. He was a good boyfriend who would consult with the actual boyfriend about tomorrow's date. Finally, Tom kissed her goodbye and got out of the car.

~

If any of Ethan’s friends saw his current Internet history, he probably would have gotten fired. No, not because he was searching every bit of freaky porn ever, but because each link was to a guide on how to use Adobe Premiere. How to edit YouTube videos. How to put a facecam on gameplay. How to do literally anything that had to do with YouTube.

Ethan hadn’t made it any easier on Tom, either. Any video file he had on his hard drive were titled different variations of “alkdfhkj.” Oh, and they were all either Photoshopped pictures of Ethan in different video games, or already completed videos that were on his YouTube channel. Where was the “pile of unedited footage” he had talked about? Tom inspected the camera behind one of the monitors and took out the SD card. On there, he found a video of Ethan talking about a game called Flix and Chill 2: Millennials. Great, now he had to find the actual gameplay.

It took more hours that what was probably necessary, given that he ended up with an eleven minute video. It was mostly a bunch of tedious work, removing bits and pieces where Ethan fumbled on his words and things that dragged on too long. Tom was by no means an expert on what could and couldn’t stay in the video, but he did his best. He wondered who would be watching this, and if they’ll be able to tell if it was different from what Ethan normally did.

Nevertheless, Tom put it up on Ethan’s channel. Since it was already late in the day, he scheduled it to go up the next morning. Managing the actual YouTube account was much easier than just about anything else involved in this “career.” Well, it wasn’t difficult as much as it was boring. Tom liked to think that he would be more comfortable actually recording videos rather than editing them. Mark’s got his own editors, why doesn’t Ethan?

Speaking of, Tom pulled out his phone again, sending what was probably the third or fourth message in a row to the guy. “Finished editing a video! You can tell me how amazing it is tomorrow morning when it goes up :P”

One down, several more to go.

_______

tag list: @marie-is-in-the-dark @beardedsteveslut  @ohsnapitzmoony

_______

next

[justadump]

Chapter Three – Lucio I - Mishaps and Lunch

Warnings - Nothing too graphic except TW for slight vomit (not very descriptive). 

Lucio had never felt so comfortable before in his life. He was drifting between the haze of sleep and consciousness, aware of his surroundings but not paying any true attention. It was warm, dark… and if Lucio had paid enough attention, he would notice the increasingly loud muffles of someone-

“Santos!”

A large, dark skinned hand slammed on the desk- barely an inch away from Lucio’s head.

Lucio jumped, an audible gasp escaping him as he awoke. He glanced around the classroom, which was filled with his smirking classmates, made Lucio realise with embarrassment he had fallen asleep in class… with probably the least patient teacher there was.

Looking up at Professor Gabriel Reyes, Lucio gave the man an apologetic smile. Reyes expression remained unchanged, unimpressed mixed with stern disappointment. Also a hint of intimidation, which was not hard considering how tall and scarily scarred his professor was.

“Uh… my bad Professor?” Lucio said meekly, trying his hardest to repress a yawn. He felt exhausted.

“”Your bad”?” Reyes cocked an eyebrow. “I expect all my students to pay attention to my lectures, and answer when I ask a question, Santos.”

“Question?” Lucio said, looking around to his peers. Most were snickering at this point, and being generally unhelpful. “Uh… could you please repeat it, professor?”

Reyes sighed, and all Lucio wanted to do was shrink down and disappear.

“I had asked you what the three laws of motion were.” Reye supplied, not entirely helpful for Lucio. He had been unable to pay attention to the two hour long lecture, and any memory of that information was non-existent in his mind. “You were set the task of researching it yesterday. I assume you did your homework?”

Crap… Lucio thought, unable to hide a grimace. He was screwed.

“The three laws of motion are… well, it’s the thing with Isaac Newton…” Lucio said, trying to speak slowly enough to think. Even if he knew it, his mind was going blank from the stress of the situation. “Uh…”

“I think that’s enough Santos, it’s clear you didn’t do the reading I set out for everyone yesterday.” Reyes grumbled, and turned away from him to face the board. Lucio gritted his teeth, feeling an awful mix of guilt and anger.

He understood why Reyes would be annoyed, but his professor’s awful mood seemed uncalled for. Then again, Reyes was always in an awful mood.

Lucio watched as he wrote on the whiteboard, making sure to take notes to ease his professor’s irritation. Which seemed an impossible task.

The next hour dragged ever so slowly, Lucio had to use any willpower left to stay awake- he really couldn’t afford to anger Reyes any further and risk being held behind.

Unfortunately, Reyes did just that.

“Santos.” Reyes called, as Lucio packed up his bag and went to leave with his other classmates. Lucio stilled, repressing a sigh. “We need to have a chat.”

“What’s up, Professor?” Lucio asked, cautiously, as he approached Reyes desk. But he had a feeling of what it was about. Reyes grimaced at his casual wording.

“Santos, tell me, why are you in this class?” Reyes asked, sharply. Lucio was taken aback, from both the question and tone. He shifted awkwardly.

“If this is about the late homework, I am sorry professor. I’ve just been kinda busy with my job and-“

“This is more than just the homework.” Reyes sighed, he didn’t look too angry- just weary. “You have been in this class for a few months but you seem to have no interest in the subject, you’ve been missing deadlines, putting a part-time job a priority when your education should be.”

Lucio was silent, staring at one of Reyes potted plants (lilies of all things), conflicted. The words struck close, all the doubts of himself laid bare- the why am I here? Is this what I want?

“Are… are you kicking me off the course?” Lucio asked quietly, Reyes rolled his eyes.

“No.” Reyes said, shaking his head slightly. “I’m not going to do that. It might seem like the opposite Santos, but I want the best for you- for my students. If you don’t want to be here, don’t be- or waste your time. Our time.”

“Uh… thank you?” Lucio said, and couldn’t help but glance towards the door. Reyes noticed.

“You can leave.” He sighed, and as Lucio practically rushed towards the door, he called out.

“Bring your damn homework next time!”

BunnieUnnie: YO where R you??? ^-^;  

Froggo: Prof kept me behind :C

BunnieUnnie: aw T_T …meet me at our spot??

Froggo: can’t rn soz :O… gotta check on Amiguinho

BunnieUnnie: R U srsly naming him Amiguinho??? -_-

Froggo: Don’t judge me woman!!!! Jk jk… but maybe meet later??? You can hang with your GF until then? :)

BunnieUnnie: Blocked! >:C

Lucio smiled to himself, pocketing the phone as he made his way through campus. Much to his relief, lessons for the day were almost over, Lucio having an hour or so for a free period before his compulsory maths class. He would usually meet with Hana, but instead he had some pretty important errands. Ignoring his buzzing phone (likely Hana sending him silly GIFS), Lucio picked up his pace – the campus was pretty big, it would take him at least twenty minutes to get to his apartment.

Leaving his poorly patient for so long left a sour taste in Lucio’s mouth- the 2 hour long lesson not helping much with that concern.

Lucio was out of breath by the time he reached his apartment complex, key ready in his hand, he jogged up the two flights of stairs- barely stopping to unlock his door and rush inside. A quick glance around reminded him of the very due clean out needed- empty takeout boxes practically lined his kitchen and living area, dirty laundry thrown into a pile.

His mãe would throw a fit at the sight.

Lucio ignored it for now, sliding his bag and jacket off onto the floor whilst he made his way to his bedroom. The cage was still sat secure on his desk, undisturbed and silent as Lucio approached. He assumed Amiguinho was still sleeping.

“Hey, time to wake up Amiguinho…” Lucio cooed, as he opened the roof door. He had managed to find time to pick up some rat pellets on the way so quickly prepared his food. He hoped that the rat was healthy enough to start on solids, and not just fluid. “You up little guy?”

Lucio continued to talk softly, reaching down to nudge the bundle of fabric- he hadn’t the heart earlier to disturb and move Amiguinho earlier.

As his finger moved a section of the fabric aside, a soft pink nose slowly emerged- moving erratically, soon very twitchy whiskers were now visible. Lucio froze, staring as Amiguinho slowly lifted his head and let out a soft hiss.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Lucio said, moving his hand away- he learned his lesson the other night. “Nothing to be scared about here, just checking to see if you’re alright. You hungry?”

Lucio didn’t expect a response, he always spoke so openly with animals- even if people looked at him strange for doing so. If anything, it reassured Lucio more than the rat.

Amiguinho crawled slowly, lifting himself out of the scarf. Lucio could tell by his movements that he was still recovering, his gait wobbly and awkward, which was not helped by the missing limbs.

Thankfully his eyes seemed brighter, and more alert- and no obvious signs of shock were present.

“You’re looking so much better than yesterday Amiguinho!” Lucio smiled, and placed the bowl of pellets down in front of the rat. “Hey, you think you can eat some of this?”

Amiguinho didn’t move for a moment, staring wide-eyed at Lucio. Then, he leaned down to sniff the bowl, never taking his shiny eyes off Lucio.

His pink nose wrinkled with distaste, the rat bearing his teeth and letting out a much louder hiss than before. Amiguinho turned his back to the bowl, instead choosing to look (glare?) upwards at the still open cage roof. Lucio closed it slowly.

“Amiguinho, you have to eat. It’ll help you feel better.” Lucio chastised him, but wasn’t too concerned, yet. “But hey, it’s alright… you’re still healing, I know you feel too terrible to eat, but try later yeah?”

Sitting back on the edge of his bed, Lucio sighed. It would be naïve to assume the still injured rat would be ready to eat, and if Amiguinho had never eaten pellets before- it would be unlikely he’d rush to eat something unfamiliar.

Lucio shrugged to himself, and feeling hungry himself, decided to fix up some lunch.

He was halfway mentally composing a new song when the food was ready to dish up. Lifting the red hot pot off the stove, Lucio hummed- left foot tapping to an imaginary beat.

It was a traditional feijkoada dish, although it was nothing like his mãe would cook- a half-assed discount version if anything.  But it reminded him of home, and was one of his favourites.

Delicious meat and beans, with a touch of homesickness.

With a hearty serving of feijkoada in a bowl, Lucio made his way back to the bedroom- wanting to keep an eye on his patient during his meal.

To Lucio’s dismay, he still had another class at the college in less than a couple hours- as well as work in the evening.

As Lucio settled with his meal on the bed, covers still messy from the morning, he began to eat. Lucio couldn’t help but practically hum at the taste, after only having a hastily half-eaten cereal bar the whole day, the meal was mouth-wateringly satisfying.

But, loud grating sound caught Lucio’s attention, he glanced towards the plastic enclosure, where Amiguinho was hanging off the bars of the roof, gnawing the metal frame frantically. Lucio worried for the injured rat’s safety more than anything else.

“Hey, hey, stop that.” Lucio said, gently.

Putting his bowl down, he scooted closer to the cage. Amiguinho froze in his movements, still gripping onto the roof with only one fore limb- impressive really, considering how weak the animal should be at this stage. “You’ll hurt yourself, Amiguinho.”

The rat gave a rather loud hiss in reply, Lucio frowned- but as Amiguingo bared his teeth; his grip on the cage slipped, the animal landing on the plastic bottom with a rather loud thud. The animal looked dazed.

“Oh, crap.” Lucio swore, and went to open the enclosure. He was too racked with worry to care about bites, so he scooped Amiguinho up in his hands. Lucio stroked Amiguinho lightly on his soft forehead, practically holding him against his chest like a baby.

The small rat was shaking slightly, but otherwise seemed unhurt- if not woozy. Lucio continued to stroke his forehead gently, the action seeming to calm the animal.

“You got to be more careful Amiguinho, you’re still recovering from yesterday and last thing I want is for you to be any more hurt…” Lucio chided, his soft expression turning slightly tense when Amiguinho started to shift in his arms.

It was instinctual, but Lucio could still vividly remember the painful sensation of being bitten by a rat, and would rather not repeat it.

But instead of the aggressive response he expected, Amiguinho only moved to raise himself on his hind quarters, his pink nose scrunched up as he sniffed towards Lucio’s bowl of food…

Suddenly Amiguinho tensed, and before Lucio could react, he dived.

“Hey!” Lucio gasped, his grasp on his food slipped- the bowl tipping sideways which caused half of meat to spill on the white duvet covers.

This didn’t bother Amiguinho, who was happily munching on the very species inappropriate food. The rat’s face was covered with the reddish sauce, making him look almost feral.  

“Man…” Lucio sighed, rubbing his face in exasperation. “You wouldn’t eat the pellets, but thought my lunch would be a nice treat, huh?”

Amiguinho said nothing, instead he choked.

“Oh shit.” Lucio breathed, frozen as the rat hacked violently a second time- it seemed it he was eating too fast for his throat to manage. It wasn’t until he coughed a third time that Lucio jumped into action, lifting the rat in one hand as he quite sharply pressed Amiguinho’s ribcage.

A few repeated presses seemed to help. Amiguinho’s choking became less forceful after a few moments. Lucio grimaced as the rat finally threw up, chunks of half eaten meat finally unstuck from his throat.

“You really are accident prone, aren’t you?” Lucio sighed, gently wiping some sauce and food from Amiguinho’s mouth with his hand. The rat squeaked quietly, his amber eyes focusing on Lucio as he wiped away the debris. “You’re going to give me a heart attack y’know.”

Lucio grabbed a washcloth from his bathroom, Amiguinho still curled up in his arms. With the damp cloth, he finished cleaning all the sauce off the rat’s face- the animal seemed weak after his choking fit, and barely put up any fight. It was a worrying sight.

Lucio glanced at his watch, and bit his lip.

“I don’t think I can leave you here… but I got class…” Lucio mused to himself, his eyes catching sight of a small carry cage/vivarium he uses to take Alfonso, his frog, to the vets.

“That could work…”

[daftynews-blog]

Trump's face on a hot cross bun cured my dandruff:  Woman's shock claim

by Danny SoZ

A 47-year-old woman has made the astonishing claim that her chronic dandruff, which has plagued her since early childhood, has now completely cleared up, due, to what she believes to be, the miraculous healing powers of a likeness of US President, Donald Trump she spotted in a hot cross bun.

Tracy Dell from Whitechapel in East London, told newsmen: "I arrived back from Lidl last Friday and decided to eat one of the hot cross buns I had bought earlier. "To my surprise, the face of Donald Trump was clearly visible in the corner of one of them. There was no doubt about it. Two of the currants were his eyes and a burnt orangey section at the top was his hair. "Almost immediately, a bright light flooded the kitchen and I felt a burning sensation on my scalp. "I heard a voice cry out: "Dandruff! Leave this woman until we find out what the hell's going on. Make her scalp great again" "After I'd calmed down a bit, I looked in the mirror and my dandruff had completely cleared up. It's a miracle and I can't thank Mr Trump enough. "I was going to bare my arse and throw bottles of piss at him like everybody else when he visits Britain in November, but after this, I'll just stay home and watch it on the telly instead" Mrs Dell's revelation comes exactly 25 years after a man from neighbouring Shoreditch was cured of chronic irritable bowel syndrome after spotting the face of Ronald Reagan on the burnt surface of a custard tart.

Read the full article

[addicted-t0-coffee]

1 to 96 enjoy you're night 😊

Lots of effort but here goes:

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? Legit closed, takes up too much space otherwise (2) Do You Have Freckles? Yes I do, too many (3) Can You Whistle? Nope, and that’s pretty sad (4) Last Song You Listened To.All Time Low - Drugs & Candy(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?Teal (6) Relationship Status.Well I wanna build my own empire and I don’t wanna share so I’m currently single (7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?9 degrees Celsius rn (8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?Nah, I just woke up not knowing what day it was (9) How Many Followers?Ummm not many, like 20 something, idk(10) Zodiac Sign.Pisces (11) What Is Your Eye Colour?Hazel(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? Nope (13) Do You Sing In The Shower? Yessss, shower performer over here (14) What Books Are You Reading?Started reading ‘The One’ by John Marrs, kinda weird but it’s okay (15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14. ‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?’ she texted… (16) Favourite Anime?Pokemon? (17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?Ummm, well I cried because of a spider? But person, my mum(18) Do You Collect Anything?Mugs, my collection is great (19) What Did You Have For Lunch?Tuna sandwich (20) Do You Dance In The Car?Who doesn’t??(21) Favourite Animal?Sloth (22) Do You Watch The Olympics?Sometimes, not often (23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?Any time after midnight (24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?Nah, don’t wear any (25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?Defo the ocean(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?I’m indecisive and this decision is too hard, moving on (27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?Tap water, unless I’m abroad(28) What Makes You Happy?Sleeping (29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? With music but not too loud or catchy because I’ll end up singing along (31) Dogs Or Cats?Prefer dogs but cats are cute too (32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? Probs like a black/grey ish one. Crayola has one called outer space, maybe that one(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.PlayStation, add me: SulphuricBumhole (don’t ask me to explain the name but if you add me, say you’re from tumblr pls)(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? Ocean definitely (35) Do You Believe In Magic? Some of that shit on BGT is trippy af and idk if that’s magic or illusions so maybe? (36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?I’m wearing a koala onesie (37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? I can(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? Bit of both, I buy too much random shit man (39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? Yeah, my socks (40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? Obsessed with sleeping tbh (41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? Yessss, let it go after though (42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? Nah, I’m stubborn af (43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? Well my last dream I befriended a crocodile and called him Dave, so no not really o.O(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? Love, love, love aeroplanes. Travelling is the best!(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. Umm, it was a French film called The Student and Mr Henri(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? Peanutsssss(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?Umm, Bryan Adams. He’s the bomb in concert (48) Are You A Picky Eater? With meat, yeah(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Kind of, I don’t hear noises as such but I will wake to a phone call (50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? Nah. I love it!(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?Love reading, awful at writing (52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? Yess, love to have a concert on my own(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? Wrap presents. Even though my OCD kicks in, I like to make the paper line up (54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?Train - Drops of Jupiter (55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)I think it’s late Spring but this weather is bipolar af (56) What Are You Craving Right Now? I really want some coffee tbh (57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.Effort though man, soz pal (58) What Is Your Gender?Female (59) Coffee Or Tea?All about coffee, tea on occasion though (60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?None, finished 2nd year of uni (61) What Is Your Sexuality?I am gay (62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?Yess, mainly because it’s uncomfortable to lay on when it isn’t made up (63) Favourite Pokemon?Would have to say Blaziken tbh (64) Favourite Social Media?Probs Facebook (65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?Stupid, use Snapchat (66) Do You Get Homesick?Not really, ask me again in December cause I’ll be in France (67) Are You A Virgin? None of ya business pal(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?Head & Shoulders (knees and toes)(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?I would choose my car, that’s $60 to use for food or something (70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Nah, just Madre and (step)padre (71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?Wish I didn't but what can ya do, ey?. (73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?“Aspire to inspire before you expire” - Eugene Bell Jr. (74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? Kinda love green tbh (75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? I love swings, get so high to jump off  I’m a kid at heart (76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? NUGGETS (77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?Candy crush is all that matters (78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?Of course I would, they have every right to live (79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? Too many times, I have no life (80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? Meh, who hasn’t?(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? For the most part. I’m socially awkward until I get comfortable with them(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.I don’t, they irritate me (83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?Closed, I live in university accommodation so leaving my door open would be a tad weird (84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? Had a panic attack bc of a spider; dyed my mum’s hair; and driving lesson. (85) What Do You Wear To Bed? Currently, a onesie (86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.Don’t own any :)(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?Definitely a night owl (88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.Phone: Candy crushPsn: FIFA 17; Black Ops 3; GTA V; Little Big Planet 3; Rocket League.

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.Mentioned somewhere above (90) Favourite Soda Drink?Hmm, sprite probs(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?I love the sound of the rain, I could sit and listen for hours (92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?Jeans, mostly (93) How Do You Look Right Now?Like a koala (94) Name Something That Relaxes You.Sleeping (95) What Tattoo Do You Want?Something geometric or maybe a Disney related one(96) Favourite YouTuber?Sarah Croce is a babe 

P.S. That took ages so I’ma take a nap for a year, much love

[sweetnestor]

12 Days | Chapter 11

Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.

***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience

lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa

previous

“Hewwo?” Ethan spoke into the phone.

“You need to stop fucking answering like that, mate,” Tom replied.

“Hey man, don’t tell me how to live my life,” Ethan chuckled to himself as he threw himself onto the bed, exhausted from the long day he’d just had.

“Well, your life is my life now,” Tom sighed, placing his elbows on the desk. He had been unbearably tense all day. “Or… my life is yours. Just never say that again, alright?”

“Fair enough,” Ethan paused. It’d been days since they’d last spoken on the phone, he’d forgotten how odd it was to hear his own voice over the phone. “So uh… how was your day?”

“Ah, you know, made some videos… or a video,” Tom said, rubbing his eye. “Spent some time with my girlfriend. I don’t know what’s making me more tired, Bella or YouTube.” His filter had been disappearing lately, and his patience was running thin, he didn’t realize how he was sounding.

“What do you mean, is Bella stressing you out?” Ethan tried to keep the irritation out of his voice. It was true that Bella could be a lot, but Tom’s not allowed to say that. “And she’s not your girlfriend.”

Tom sat up, quickly retracting. “Right, sorry. You get used to saying ‘my girlfriend…’ I just didn’t realize how much baggage she came with. Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he quickly added. “I tried to be with her today, but she keeps asking why I’m acting so strange. I don’t know how long more we can keep this up.”

“I hear ya’. If I have to be on a movie set one more day I think my head will explode. Guess acting’s not what as easy as I thought it’d be,” he let out a small sigh. “And don’t worry about it, I only snapped at you because I’ve been really irritable lately. Shooting a movie is no joke.”

“Definitely. And I’m getting really tired of YouTube. How long more do you think we have to be like this?”

“I honestly don’t know dude. What did she say? That she was trying to teach us a lesson? All I’ve learned is that I really don’t want to be an actor. Shit’s a pain in the ass.” Ethan huffed as he walked into his walk in closet. Despite it being almost 1 in the morning and the guys being completely knocked out, he still felt like they might hear him.

“I’ve learned how bloody boring your job is, no offense.” Tom spun in his chair from side to side. “Do you think we could switch back without that woman’s help?”

“Honestly who knows. She’s the one who switched us so I doubt we could switch back on our own.” Ethan paused, choosing his next words wisely, ”But... do you think we could force her?”

Tom’s eyes widened. “Uh… define ‘force.’”

“Like, confront her? I don’t know, just try and convince her that we’ve learned whatever fucking lesson she’s trying to teach us,” Ethan could feel his heart racing. The very prospect of possibly switching back was exciting to him. Being back in his own body would be a dream come true.

“Huh…” Tom put his phone on speaker and set it on the desk. “Let me try something.” He brought the computer to life and opened up Google. Then, he clicked on the search option and typed: ‘sonjisonjisonjisonjisonjisonjisonjisonjisonjiSONJISONJISONJISONJI!!’

Suddenly his words disappeared and were replaced by someone else’s. The message, ‘WHT DO U WANT’ stared back at Tom.

“Aha!” he said in satisfaction. “Have you ever tried Googling her?” he asked Ethan on the other line.

“Like her business? No,” Ethan responded making his way back into his room and grabbing the laptop lying on the ground.

“I mean like, connecting with her in weird ways,” Tom explained. “I tried to research on body switching - or ‘soul swapping’ as it’s called - but it wouldn’t work. Coincidence? She also sent me an email when I spoke about her out loud. She’s got a trail on us.”

“You know, now that you mention it, the same thing happened to me. I was trying to google pictures of your signature for that one day in London that I had to do all those poster signings and I typed something stupid like ‘sonji why have you done this’ or something, and she responded to me in the google search box! She said something like ‘because you haven’t learned your lesson yet’ and then called us twats,” Ethan couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory. It’d only been a few days ago but it felt like it’d been ages since he’d been in London.

“See what I mean? And I just typed to her on Google again and she replied!” Tom said like it was the greatest news ever. “Get online, let’s see if we can persuade her!” He looked at the computer screen again, only to find a new message. ‘Are you wasting my time again or what?’

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on Google right now,” Ethan looked back down at the laptop screen on his lap, “uh, what should I say?”

“I don’t know, just annoy her.”

“Ah yes,” Ethan chuckled as he popped his knuckles, “my best quality.” ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘Sonji’, pause. ‘So-’

‘WHAT’

‘Hey psychic lady person,’ Tom typed. ‘We need help. Please. We know we’re annoying, but seriously.’

Ethan watched as his laptop opened a new tab and opened up a Google doc. He would’ve been freaked out if he didn’t know who he was dealing with. But this is Sonji, psychic lady who has nothing better to do than to fuck with two guys’ lives, so he’ll allow it.

This wasn’t the weirdest thing to happen, watching the computer immediately open up a blank doc. Still, Tom felt a little nervous as he placed his fingers on the keys and typed again.

‘H-hewwo?’

“OH SO YOU CAN SAY IT BUT I CAN’T?” Ethan shouted into the phone, a big smile on his face. Tom’s scream (in his own voice) was worth possibly getting caught by Harrison and Harry, though he can’t imagine they’ll hear him. Once they’re asleep they’re passed out cold.

Tom clutched his chest, his heart pounding. He tried to catch his breath as he looked down at the phone screen. “Shut up… you twat…” He had forgotten that he was on the phone with the man himself. Thank god he was home alone.

‘So what do you guys want’

Ethan read Sonji’s words over a few times, trying to decide how to type what he wanted to say in the nicest way possible. Actually, fuck that, she doesn’t censor herself, why should he?

‘Switch us back cunt’

Tom couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Don’t fucking laugh at me Tom,’ Sonji typed, silencing him immediately. ‘Lmao yeah i hear your phone conversations, i read your text messages to check your progress. I know everything you fucking twinks.’

‘TWINKS?’ Ethan typed feeling more than a little violated.

“Okay, better step in,” Tom mumbled as he typed. ‘We just want our lives back, sonji! We’re losing our fucking minds here!’

‘BUT HAVE YOU LEARNED???’

Ethan looked down at his keyboard and hesitated. She can read their texts, but can she read minds too? ‘Yes.’

‘Of course we have,’ Tom added, ‘there’s really no point for us to stay like this. We’ll go to your shop in San Diego again if we have to.’

‘Why do I, a psychic lady, get the feeling you’re lying?’

Just play it off Ethan, confidence is key. ‘Because you’re a paranoid psychic lady?’

‘Yeah, maybe all the voices and things you hear are mixing together…’

For a moment, Sonji didn’t type anything more. Tom didn’t dare speak to Ethan, now knowing that they were being watched.

‘And how are yall going to get over here?’ she asked. ‘You were in serious trouble when you dropped everything to come find me. If you’re willing to cause more trouble for each other then have you really learned?’

‘Yeah, and that’s why I’ve already talked to the people here about taking a few days off for ‘mental health’ and I’m already cleared.’ There’s no way Sonji can know that Ethan plans to just leave after filming tomorrow, right?

‘I’m taking time off work already,’ Tom wrote. ‘I have the freetime. And honestly, I’m speaking for both of us when I say that I’ll go through all the trouble to get my life back.’

‘I second that,’ Ethan typed back.

‘...........you two have been through quite a bit… it’s been what? Eleven days now?’

Tom nearly hopped out of his seat at the lenience. He frantically sent back, ‘Yeah!! And we’ve learned the woes of each other’s lives, and the longer i stay like this the longer im going to think i’m actually ethan!! Please switch us back, sonji??’

‘Please :(’ Ethan didn’t really know what to reply. How much longer would they have to beg before she gave in?

Sonji finally answered. ‘I’m not promising anything, but if you guys turn up to my shop tomorrow… and maybe actually buy something this time… i may or may not be able to help you…’ She quickly added “twinks” one more time at the end before deleting it immediately after.

‘You mean we just had to buy something the first time aND WE COULD’VE GOTTEN SWITCHED BACK???’ Ethan groaned in frustration as he hoped that her answer was no. She wouldn’t make them suffer all this just because they didn’t buy anything, would she?

“😘” And then the doc closed on itself.

“What the fuck,” Ethan grumbled as he fell back onto the pillow behind him and brought the phone up to his face. “She’s messing with us right?”

Tom sat back and opened his mouth to say something. But now he had to mind his words whenever he talked to Ethan. “I… She’s always messing with us! She’s made us live like this, hasn’t she?”

“Good point.” Ethan opened up another tab and searched through the flights available from Montreal to Los Angeles on the Southwest website. “So, you’ll pick me up from the airport right?”

“Yeah,” Tom replied as he got up and started to pace. “I’ll be driving your car this time.” He chuckled at the memory of them being in the same car for the first time. It felt like years ago.

“Owner of the car gets to pick the music, your rules,” Ethan laughed as he booked a flight. “I was planning on getting a flight towards the end of the day, but then we wouldn’t make it to San Diego in time so I got a flight that lands at 4pm.”

“Alright, mate, sounds good. Hopefully Sonji will wait up for us.”

“Well she’s listening to this conversation isn’t she? She knows so she’ll hopefully wait up for us since she’s so nice and thoughtful,” Ethan did his best to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. Hopefully Sonji won’t notice it.

Tom was hoping in the back of his head that Sonji was overhearing, but at the same time he wasn’t sure if she would approve of them taking matters into their own hands. Actually, he knew she wouldn’t approve of this.

“How easy will it be to switch back?” he wondered. “Like, we’ll be back in our bodies, but are we just going to pretend this never happened?” It had been on his mind, given that he had moments where he was almost convinced that Ethan’s life was actually his the whole time.

“I… don’t know? Are we… friends now?” Ethan wasn’t quite sure what to say. On one hand, he’d probably go insane if Tom wasn’t there to confirm that yes, he did in fact switch bodies with Tom Holland for almost two weeks. On the other hand he’d definitely go insane if he had to pretend that none of this ever happened.

“Well, we’re not strangers,” Tom said with a chuckle. “It would be absolutely horrible to talk about this with anyone else when it’s over, but at least we know how the other feels.”

“Yeah, not to mention we’d definitely get thrown into a hospital,” Ethan replied, already imagining the headlines “Newest Addition to Marvel Cinematic Universe Tom Holland Absolutely Fucking Loses His Mind!!!”

“Hey, if we’re next door to each other on the psych ward, then there won’t be much to complain about,” Tom said. Was he hamming this up for Sonji, or did he actually mean it? Who knows?

“Yeah, true! Though we’ll probably never get released at that point,” Ethan laughed. He glanced down at the time on his phone and sighed. “It’s getting late and I gotta hit the hay for filming tomorrow…”

Tom checked the time on the computer. Time had slipped away. “Yeah, Bella’s been texting me, gotta see what she wants. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Click. Just one more day, he could handle one more day.

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tag list: @beardedsteveslut @ohsnapitzmoony @marie-is-in-the-dark

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[sweetnestor]

12 Days | Chapter 7.2

Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.

***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience

lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa

previous

bonus: the videos that “tom recorded/edited”: x x

Waking up to texts from the guy you switched lives with was like waking up to texts from a needy girlfriend. Except instead of affectionate “good morning”s, you get things like, “Oh god. Try not to ruin my channel thx 😅” and other things like, “Don’t worry about Sean. He’s a good guy and he’s helped Bella through a lot. They’re friends and nothing more.”  Oh wait, that’s what Tom needed to know. It was vital information about this life. Well, Sean was already gone, so maybe it wasn’t as important to know now, but still.

There were two more. One made his heart ache. “You have the most beautiful dog and I love her.” Tom missed his little Tess more than anything. He was supposed to be one cuddling with her.

The next one read: “Also this time zone difference is insane, I’m never gonna sleep.”

Tom decided to leave him on read, since he had nothing new to report. Then, he thought about what he had to do today, and a bout of nerves formed in his stomach. Today, he had to successfully record a video as Ethan Nestor. Why was this more stressful than being on a movie set? Why did this make him want to shit his pants more than giving a speech at an awards show, or going to a movie premiere?

There was literally no one else in the room, and Tom was anxious about how he would sound and act. How far could binge watching a bunch of videos late at night get him? Would Ethan’s fans figure out what was really going on? Tom’s own fans were frighteningly incredible at playing detective, he could only guess what Ethan’s would be like. He hadn’t even checked how people reacted to the video that was posted today.

After looking through the files on the computer, Tom stumbled across a game titled “Dream Daddy.” What the fuck kind of games was this guy into? He looked into it a little more, and then discovered what exactly this game was and who made it. Wasn’t really helpful, but what choice did he have?

He also had to Google search how to record the computer screen, cursing Sonji under his breath as he did so. Why did she specifically choose Tom and Ethan to switch? Why couldn’t it have been two nobodies with boring office jobs?

A spark of curiosity hit him. Tom typed “swapping lives” in the search engine, only to receive links to a fiction book with that very title. Next, he tried “soul swapping,” and that was when the Internet connection decided to dramatically slow down.

“Sonji,” Tom whispered as he narrowed his eyes. Whatever, he had more important things to do anyway.

Once he turned on the camera and lights, Tom began right away. He opened the game, and was pleasantly surprised at the dreamlike, whimsical music that started playing. He did a little dance to the music, completely bullshitting what he was doing. It works, right?

He got the god awful intro out of the way. “What is up my cranky crew? It’s Ethan from CrankGameplays and today we are here in Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator!”

The game was actually really fun. Good story, good dialogue.Tom made sure to comment on all of it as he played. He almost made himself as a dad before remembering that he was pretending to be somebody else. This daddy had to have blue hair and glasses. Yes, he had discovered how blind Ethan was after driving in his car a couple of times.

Anyway, recording was the easy part. He just had to act extra dorky and say “oh boy!” every now and again. He also made up a story about having a “horse phase.” Editing was where things got tricky. Firstly, the facecam footage was corrupted, and took ages to get it all back. Then, it was out of sync with the gameplay, which was even more confusing because the last video didn’t have this problem. Cutting out footage was harder than it should have been. It was a nightmare, and Tom grew more and more irritated as he went through it. Lastly, timing the ridiculously long outro music with Ethan’s equally god awful outro phrase (“So thank you guys so much for watching! Hope you enjoyed it, if you did make sure to slap that like button right in the face and I will see you guys in the next video! Love you all, stay cranky, bye!”) was a fucking challenge. Tom just didn’t get it. Wasn’t this supposed to be easy?

Somehow, he got the video done by the noon. Even after that, he had to make a thumbnail on Photoshop after noticing all the ones on the other videos. So Tom had to learn how to use another program as well. He needed a nap after getting through all of it.

Just as he started to come down from the stress, his phone started to blow up. Tom snatched the device from the desk and unlocked it, hoping to hear from Ethan. Instead, it was three different texts from Bella, Mark, and Amy.

Bella: “Good video today!! Are you coming over?”

Mark: “Oh so you decided to keep your channel going. Feel up to coming back to work yet? No rush.”

Amy: “We still on for tomorrow?”

That last message would have been very concerning, had Tom not remembered that Amy was Mark’s girlfriend. The only person he responded to was Bella. After that, he got ready to go.

~

There are plenty of things you don’t really think about when you switch lives with another person. Well, you think of the main things like, general personality, the person’s friends and significant others, their job. You don’t really think about things like how this person responds and reacts to their fans. You don’t think about their attention span, the way they fidget, or which leg they put into their jeans first. You don’t think about how they act with their friends versus how they act with their significant other. You really don’t think about what kind of gift he would get for his girlfriend on their six month anniversary.

Tom was bloody lucky that Bella hadn’t heard him enter her apartment that afternoon. He overheard her making a video in her bedroom, where he heard the words “get ready with me,” “date night,” and “anniversary.” Panicked, Tom bolted out of the building, hopped back in the car, and drove off to the closest mall. Part of him wanted to call Ethan and yell at him for not telling him about this, he had the chance to when his phone dinged four times on the ride to the mall. Tom was just trying hard to think up a decent gift on his own. They couldn't help each other, correct?

Eventually, he found something. It wasn’t much, but he could only hope that she wouldn’t mind. Tom had already fucked up with her once, he couldn’t do it again. Apparently, not only was a Pop Funko Spider-Man keychain a decent gift, it was sentimental and perfect for Bella. She nearly teared up when Tom brought it to her later on.

This anxiety thing she had must have been really serious. Bella told him all about how she hadn’t been to the cinema in years because of her panic attacks, and that Homecoming was the first movie she had seen from start to finish without any anxious interruptions. She was very proud of that, and she was happy that she experienced it with Ethan.

If only Ethan were here to see this moment… Actually, he could.

Bella fell asleep later in the afternoon. She was squashed between Tom and the back of the sofa, sleeping somewhat soundly on his chest, or practically on top of him. The physical affection was nice, but Tom wished it was someone else. Thankfully, he had his phone in his hand, so he was able to open the new messages he got literally behind his girlfriend’s back.

He had five new messages, four were the ones from Ethan earlier today, and the last one was from someone called Parker.

“Signed a billion posters, pls work on your signature it’s so much longer than it has to be dude.” Oh please, at least Tom signs his actual name as opposed to Ethan, who apparently signs things with his YouTube name.

“You’ve got a great family dude. Really, they’re all great.” Tom missed his family too. His missed his mother's pancakes.

“On my way to Montreal now for Chaos Walking pre shooting stuff i don’t really know.” That's going to be an adventure.

“I swear if I have to work out I’ll die alright gn?”

Tom rolled his eyes and sent something back. “Thought I completely fucked up your relationship, but it’s all good now!” As a follow up, he added: “Now I’ll be spending my six month anniversary with the missus! Night mate x”

He attached a photo of his current position, giving a smug expression to the camera. Ethan will get a kick out of that, that’s for sure.

“Who ya texting?” asked the sleepy girl lying on him, who could hear the ticking of the keyboard.

Tom was busy reading the next message, it was a little confusing. First of all, who the hell is Parker? Second of all, what the hell did Tom have to do with him tomorrow? And why did it involve Amy? What was with all these “don’t forget tomorrow”s? Why couldn’t anyone be straight up anymore?

I’m looking at you, Sonji, Tom thought just as his phone dinged, indicating that an email had arrived.

From: psychiclady420@fuckyou.net

I told you you gotta learn a lesson now leave me alone you asswipe!!

Tom, wide eyed, silently locked his phone and put it down for the rest of the day.

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tag list: @marie-is-in-the-dark @beardedsteveslut @ohsnapitzmoony [idk why it wont let me tag you asdhlk]

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