#instead of writing songs about it then i could conceivably see a happy end for aki and sev. but as they are now...

[gncrezan]

gncrezan get behind me the girlies CANNOT be normal about this poll 🤺🤺

LMFAOOOO i don't think i made clear enough that this poll is genuinely low stakes, i enjoy talking about it !!! and i like to see what others also think of the situation!! it's obviously a very complicated one which is why people are defending their takes in the tags (thanks everyone the 200 word tag thinkpiece is literally exactly what i wanted from this you've fallen into my trap)

if anything the poll has shown that sevenmancers are stronger than me. schrodinger's cat of a RO like you don't know if you've bagged them or not until you check the metaphorical bag

[waltzingwithyourenemyattheball]

PICK A CARD: MESSAGES FROM MAHADEVI (CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE)

Top Left: 111 ; Top Right: 222; Bottom: 333

Disclaimer:

This is a general reading take what resonates and leave the rest

No one is allowed to copy my work under any circumstances

DM for a personal tarot reading

All personal readings are paid.

HAPPY RADHA ASTHAMI 🤍♥️🤍

🌸111🌸

Be grateful for all that you have. Be grateful for all that you have been blessed with. You may think you lack, but the truth says otherwise. You have the warmth of the sun, coolness of the moon, you have water to drink, you have food to eat, you can walk among beautiful scenery. You have all that you need, so don’t look for more. If you have a guitar, play a  song instead of dreaming about building a boat. You have all that you need and more. Be creative, once you start focusing on what all you do have, you’ll feel much richer. I am hearing you should spend time with your mother, help her in her work, be sweet not rude, it will go against you. Walking in nature barefoot will bring you tremendous results, especially if you are having troubles with rahu or shani. If you are taking sone sort of therapy /any healing sessions it will be successful, in 3 months you’ll notice a difference. Give service to cows and animals in general, this good karma will bring you recognition and even fame for some of you. Some of you need to cut your hair, even just a little bit to let go of the energy. Others need to start sadhana and grow their hair out. REGARDLESS take good care of your hair, it’s important. Keep it braided if you need to conserve energy. Wear more orange and red, and don’t let a day go by without writing how you felt today, why you felt that way, and end it with a gratitude list. Not just you, I am seeing your entire family successful, if you have been considering a family business or have one, this is a good sign.  Comment ‘Mahadevi’ to Claim!  🌙 DM TO BOOK A TAROT READING 🌙 🌻 Thank you for letting me read for you 🌻

🌑222🌑

Okay so listen, you know you have a choice, you have the choice to speak up your idea in the meeting, you have the choice to say ‘No’. You always have a choice. You are not tied down by chains, you are not tied down at all except by your mind. No cages exist outside your mind. It is your greatest friend and has the ability to be your greatest enemy too. How do you want it to serve you? That’s again a choice. Make the right one. Choose freedom. Choose expression. Don’t let others walk over you, tell them you have plans and you can’t help them today, its okay. HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. If you never ask, you’ll never know. You think you don’t have much to offer so you become the person who doesn’t need anything, and that not doing anyone any good. DEMAND YOUR RIGHTS. Ask for what you want. You want your partner to come watch you play violin? ask him, have the courage. You are a lion then why do you pretend to be a sheep. You could be born in the year of the horse as well. Some of you are lion yoni. Behave like yourself, the more you astray, the more depressed you feel. You want adrenaline, and you are scared of the same. Trust me, if you let loose you won’t run wild and return home safe. You are somewhat terrified of what could happen if you let yourself be, since you’ve never been, you can’t comprehend and with the fear of uncertainty, so you are always on edge, to say what you actually want to but never do and they are out the door. Other have a pre-conceived notion of you that you want to keep, honey its not healthy you have to let that go before it swallows you complete. Your fire has been watered down, its time to bring it back.  Comment ‘Mahadevi’ to Claim!  🌙 DM TO BOOK A TAROT READING 🌙

🥀333🥀 If you have been seeing a humming bird, or after reading this if you see one, don’t be surprised. They are a sign that you are taking everything too seriously, even things that shouldn’t be taken that way, you have forgotten to stop and smell the roses. It seems like you are someone who has a responsibilities on their shoulders, and you just can’t seem to relax. Between all things mundane, you have forgotten to keep track of your soul’s purpose. Many of you don’t know why you are here. You world is limited to the material realm. You are being told to take time out for honoring your soul’s purpose. One of them is ‘Joy’. You are not here to be in a low or neutral emotional state, you are hear to feel joy and spread joy. It could come from any number of things, from just taking a day off or making time for your hobbies or laughing your ass off. You are here to be curious and be filled with wonder and awe. All these responsibilities are making you anxious, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, and all you do is think all the time, about business and about family and that’s all your life is, you aren’t even in there. I am not saying you shouldn’t focus here, you should these are key areas of life but take a step back, take some time for yourself. HEVAY BURN OUT ENERGY. This isn’t even burn out, you are toasted and done, most of this is coming from the fact that most of your day you do things put of compulsion, you don’t want to do them, but you do. Figure out how to honor your soul’s purpose, and find joy in things or simply do what brings you joy. There is work that need to be done within the family dynamic as well. One step at a time and step starts with you.  Comment ‘Mahadevi’ to claim!  🌙DM to find your Soul’s Mission🌙

- EL TAROT

[thevoilinauttheory]

The Great Eight

[ In lieu of the Rising event ending tomorrow - and myself, just now finishing it - I had some words I wanted to get out.

I get this type of nostalgia - it hurts, it physically hurts my chest; I feel sick to my stomach, and I just want to cry. I’ve asked others if they ever feel this way, but I’ve never gotten a yes to it.

The Rising always gives me this feeling. It’s be eight years since I first picked up XIV. Eight whole years. That’s a slap to the face, it’s been so long and it feels so short. I wish I could give people the same experiences and feeling I had for this game - the pain and happiness this nostalgia brings me. When I say this game means so much to me, it’s not an exaggeration. This game changed my life - I wish to share it a little bit with you. I touched on some of it in the past, but here I’m laying it all out. ]

[ I first started playing in 2013, when a friend recommended the game to me shortly after the game’s rerelease. They were ecstatic to have another player join them, and I owe them a lot for the experiences they gave me. My very first character was Raramlah Ramlah - she was a paladin, because that’s what I mained in WoW. I realized shortly that a tank probably wasn’t the best way to go, but also that my computer at the time couldn’t handle playing it, due to the graphics.

I gave it another shot in 2014, that’s when I made Danny Harold. He was the first character I ever got to level 50. I absolutely loved the game, when I wasn’t sitting idly for my friends to come online as I had with Raramlah; when I picked it up of my own accord. I remember I was in the hospital when I first picked it back up, when I first made him and leveled him through Gridania. But I was still going intermittedly between it and WoW. I missed the first Rising due to ignorance.

2015 comes around, and I’m in a stressful place. I just started a new job, and I’m finally able to live on my own with little issues from my disabilites. However, my apartment complex didn’t have internet, and so I’d take my laptop to Starbucks and sit there until they closed playing WoW instead. I wanted to spend what little time I had on the internet with the friends I already had grown close to.  Year 2 went on without me. But it still wasn’t all bad. Near the end of 2015, Maximiloix Voilinaut was created - and when I started up my XIV tumblr account under “ishgardianscholar”. See, I had made it to Heavensward on Danny when I found out that someone I had met through a friend was starting up a new character for the purpose of RP. I thought to myself “I want an Ishgardian character” - and rolled a new one. It was a new adventure, a clean slate, with a couple of friends I knew from WoW to join me.

Here comes 2016... and WoW had let me down. My disabilites came back full force, and I was left bed bound and reliant on partial disability from my workplace while waiting for SSDI to start kicking into effect. My roommates did little to help take care of the house we were renting, lied to me about their incomes, and forced me to use what little money I was getting to pay for everything myself. I’m short a total of 2000$ because of it. But. But. That was the best year of my fucking life. It ruined me, that year ruined my life, but it was the happiest I had ever been. Lothaire Voilinaut was first conceived and Maximiloix became my pride and joy as a character, I found the class I wanted to keep playing - I made friends, so many of them! So, so many of them! And I loved them, and I still do! I miss them terribly. If I could relive one year of my life... it would be that year. What I would give just to feel that way again - because I had never felt it since. I didn’t realize until Year 3′s Rising came around, how nostalgic just the few short times and experiences were to me. Because I was met with two things... the first song that truly captured me in Final Fantasy games (Prelude), and the first song I ever heard in the game itself (A New Hope). I cried there. Music has always hit me so hard, and I never realized just how much this game meant to me until then. This was how I knew I would stay - that XIV had my heart for good.

2017, during the release of Stormblood, I went homeless. I had wanted so badly to see my first expansion release - and only witnessed second hand “Raubahn EX”. My friends moved on without me, and I was left alone again to start playing. But I told myself already. XIV had my heart, there was no reason to go back to WoW. So I didn’t. I didn’t, and I don’t regret it. This is when I truly started playing Lothaire fully - and when I met my spouse, he became my main. I made it to Year 4, and cried just as much.

2018 - with the loss of friends, did I find new ones. It wasn’t the best time of my life, but I wouldn’t trade the memories for a thing. Year 5 came and went faster than I could blink, but that was it. I heard the music, I remembered my first Rising, I remembered all the times I had before. And I cried.

2019 started off rough. I moved across the country and had a hard time finding a place to live. I got it down, started a new job... and made it to the release of Shadowbringers. I had grown so much since I first started - and the expansion release was everything I wanted it to be, regardless of the issues that came with it (though I’ve been told that it was a far smoother release than the others). I was so excited... and I was not let down. XIV upheld its standards and presented to me a game worthy of pushing onto my friends no matter how annoyed they got with me about it (looking at you @rose-color-boy). Everything about it was a pure masterpiece, people think I’m exaggerating. But this game had done so much for me, that finally, now, I got to witness something I always wanted to. Sure, I didn’t have many friends to start the expansion with... but the story captivated me immediately. Year 6... and I cried.

2020. There wasn’t much to say about it, I was stuck inside all year and I hit a bad patch during the end of it, but... Year 7. It hit me like a truck. It gave me goosebumps, it gave me laughs, and ultimately, it gave me tears. I actually sobbed, this time. Remembering everything I gone through hurt me so badly, the nostalgia was coming in hard. But I knew, in the end, this game would always be here for me. This game had wormed its way into my heart accidentally, and yet I feel like I couldn’t live without it.

This year. Perhaps it didn’t hit me as hard - I still cried. This game means so much to me. So, so much. It hurts, it really and physically hurts how much it means to me. This game made everything in my stressful life so much easier, littered the pain with good memories. I can recall bad places I was in, and associate it with something good that happened to me in the game. 2020 - I got knee surgery... but 5.3 had just released and holy shit. My spouse got a little annoyed at me that the only thing I was listening to was the theme of that last battle (To the Edge). It helped me get through it, the pain and the misery I felt from not being able to walk. 2019 - Work was driving my depression in deep, and I didn’t want to live and continue the pain I was feeling... but I got to the end of 5.0 and only wanted more. I wanted to know what happened next. I still remember that one cutscene, how they got me attached to a minor character so quickly and ripped her away just as fast; and the first dungeon? Experiencing the Trust System, and going through this intense battle on a grand scale with the help of the friends they kept on the sidelines for so long. 2018 - My life was monotonous and I had three other people living with me in my one-bedroom apartment. One of my roommate’s ex’s was now stalking him around my apartment, and work was becoming physically taxing on my legs. But I remember how much fun I had doing maps - and the release of the Tsukuyomi fight? That whole scene there? Oh, wow, it was so bittersweet. The fight was beautiful, the music was haunting, everything about it. Not to mention the ending solo-instances and Ghymlit? The Burn? Omega? The Four Lords? As much as I disliked them (due to my computer issues), even Rabanastre was memorable. 2017 - I was homeless, forced to work a job my body couldn’t handle. I met my spouse, though. I became heavily invested with my tumblr account, doing a full re-write of it all. While I wasn’t much of a fan of the expansion itself, there were some places that really opened my eyes. Azim Steppes? So beautiful - and gotta hand Y’shtola the award for sickest burn. Then I heard my favorite piece of music, and the most nostalgic for me when it comes to SB, Skalla’s theme (Far From Home). 

Lastly, I know this has been long. But I thank everyone around me for being so supportive and kind - I may not be in a good place, but know that every good thing that happens will be associated to this moment. I’ll look back on Year 8 and go “my security was compromised, and my anxiety ran high, but there were these people here who supported me on tumblr, that kept my blog running strong”. I will remember my roleplays, I will remember the music and scenery - even now, I’m getting nostalgic about Shadowbringers, and Endwalker hasn’t even come out yet! So thank you. Here’s to year number 8 - 8 whole years of XIV being in my life. It may not have been that long for many of you, some of you, this might be your first year; hell! Some of you, it’s been longer! But know that this community has helped me so much, and I can’t wait to continue being a part of it. Here’s to the eventual tears Year 9 will bring me! ]

[pinkhairedlily]

Freedom

Prompts: Crossover, Distant, Safe and Sound | A03 link here | Connect with me on Twitter. Happy SS Month everyone! 🌸🍅🥗 @ssskmonth

Some confused drabble on Gundam Seed crossover with SS, referencing the scene where Lacus Clyne saved Kira Yamato from his fight with Athrun Zala. Technical notes at the end of the post!

The clanging of metals, the smell of burning wires, the endless beeping of the monitor, and the sickening slash of Justice’s sword through his cockpit. He remembered being exposed to the open air, hearing the waves of a nearby ocean, and seeing Naruto’s face in a Zaft uniform – his face constricted in extreme anger and hatred. He thought this was what he deserved for killing Hyuuga Neji, but he was caught in a crossfire and war was a matter of survival.

Then there was the explosion.

No matter which way one saw it, he should have been dead. Naruto’s Justice detonated after the blonde ejected out of safety. His stomach was bleeding out from a debris when they clashed into one of the PLANT’s areas. He should have been dead, but instead, he woke up to the gentle singing of a familiar voice.

Sakura Haruno, the famed icon and face of PLANT and the only child of the leader of Haruno Faction which was the primary peacekeeping force and bridge between the Zaft Forces and Earth Alliance. Long pink, wavy hair framed the sides of his face and tickled the bandages on his skin while striking green eyes try to follow the movement of his pupils. Some months ago, he rescued her while she drifted in space inside an escape pod, her escort having been mistakenly struck by Earth Alliance as an offensive party. Some months ago, he amicably returned her safely to her fiancé, Naruto, in a covert operation. Some months ago, he met her and got to know her kindness. And now, he was bound to receive it again.

“Sasuke? Can you hear me?” Her hands gently brushed the fringes away from his face. How long has he been out? Somewhere, he heard the waves go up against the same shore. “You can sleep, if you want. Sleep for as long as you want. I’ll be here.”

-------------------------------

What was this place? It seemed devoid of war – pristine shores, blue sea, the quiet rustling of palm leaves, the warm sunshine. So far off from the neutral colony he grew up in – of the sudden attack and open fire from the skies, so far off from the open space where galaxy belts have been littered with gundam debris and frozen bodies.

She found him on the edge of the ocean, the waves lapping his wrinkled bare toes. He has been here for hours. She made her way to his side, followed by a small pink circular shape hopping across the sand.

“Haro! Haro! Haro!” The robot cried out after its owner; Sakura spun around and caught Naruto’s creation between her hands, nuzzling it as if it was her pet.

Sasuke hesitated for a while – she was a Coordinator after all, conceived with the most superior genes, and he was too, he was but he hated their kind all the same. The same kind who saw themselves far above the Naturals to the extent that they would wage war and kill.

“How tiring, isn’t it?” Sakura suddenly asked out of the blue, her green eyes arresting him in all their sincerity. “The senseless fighting when there is good in everyone.”

“That’s not true,” he rebutted…which was stupid because he hadn’t thanked her yet for saving him.

“Naruto is a good person even when you were kids, isn’t that right?” The circular robot was wriggling in her hands and she let it go, only for it to almost fall to the water and to its electrifying death if not for Sasuke’s quick hands.

“You also have some good in you,” she said with a smile. She took the fussy robot from his hands and went back to their family mansion.

-------------------------------

Sasuke found himself drifting in and out of his own consciousness; he would always fall into a daydream, the collage of the civilian ship ejecting from their mother ship and getting struck by a missile keep replaying in front of him. Screams would often escape him, even during daylight, but the touch of her hands steadied him, and her green eyes would reel him back to safe ground.

He would allow himself to lean further into her skin, liking the warmth a little too much, but torn all the same. She was his childhood friend’s fiancé, and he stole too many precious people away from him already.

It was effective, the way she led him in walks along the shore, her hand in his, and haro following closely behind, filling in the gaps of silences with his automated voice. When the robot finally stopped chirping to recharge, she would let go of his hand and hum a random song. He might have heard it before, in a far away moment and now unfamiliar moment of peace, when he was still a student and led a normal life.

“I killed Neji,” he blurted out, unaware of the consequences, but possibly to rile her up, to make her angry at him, to make it easier to go away.

Sakura brought her loose strands to the side of her shoulder, braiding the length of it while averting her gaze from him. “When I was fifteen, the Zaft Forces struck the civilian plane my mom was in. She accompanied my father to a diplomatic meeting with the Orb Union while I was here in PLANT. But I caught a fever and I asked for her despite being surrounded by nurses. I really missed her that time, you see. So she went on board the earliest civilian plane in Panama. Unfortunately, it was also the day the Earth Forces skirmished with Zaft and a stray missile hit their engine. That put a metaphorical dent as well in the diplomatic discussions.” She returned her attention to him, her pink hair unfinished and already coming undone. “We all suffered deaths, one way or the other, and each loss only breeds hatred if the cycle isn’t broken.”

“And how do you propose to do that?”

“Kindness,” Sakura extended her hand to him, and he subconsciously reached out to accept it.

-------------------------------

“Sakura-chan!”

Sasuke avoided the throng of kids that suddenly surrounded Sakura. He found himself standing beside Sai, the reverend who pulled him from the wreckage some weeks ago.

“They’re Naturals, if you’re wondering,” Sai said. “Rescued and fostered here under a neutrality agreement.”

“Savior’s complex?” Sasuke asked, still defensive about the matter.

“Just common moral decency.” The reverend had this mysterious smile etched forever on his face, and while Sasuke learned to read people, he could never read him accurately.

When the orphanage visit calmed down, and they were left alone with biscuits and tea on the gazebo overlooking the ocean, Sakura received the video message transmitted through Haro. She instinctively angled her body so whoever was on the other side won’t see him.

“Ms. Haruno,” a voice started. “We caught wind of some news.”

Sakura nodded, a cue to continue.

“It’s Operation Spitbreak. The real target is the Alaska HQ.”

Sasuke hitched a breath – if he recalled correctly, his mother ship Archangel intended to refuel there and stock on supplies. All the big guns were in Panama, strategizing for the penultimate and inevitable battle. So why Alaska?

Ah, they were the remaining big ship with the firepower that could match them.

Sakura noticed the change in his countenance, and she immediately ended the call after a quick word of thanks. Arms engulfed him in a gentle hug. “I guess it’s time.”

His arms wrapped around her waist tentatively. “I want to stay a little bit longer in this place where everything is safe and sound.”

“Not for long.” She tightened her hold on him. “Not for long, Sasuke.”

He did the same, trying to savor her fleeting presence in his embrace.

-------------------------------

That night, she and Sai led him to a facility under the Haruno family mansion. The steel doors opened after the usual biometrics – iris scan, hand print, and voice recognition. The sight astounded him when the lights started to come on. The gundam was bigger than his previous, Strike, and visually had more missiles and armaments.

Sai handed him a paper bag containing his new mobile suit. “It’s X10A Freedom Gundam, one of the two newest developments of Zaft. You’ll find that it’s much more lighter compared to previous models with faster mobility stats, and more devastating firepower. But you’ll be all right, you have the seed of the coordinator after all. What a dream it would be to see it used for coexistence.” He didn’t wait for Sasuke’s reply and quietly moved away to give the two privacy.

“Isn’t this too much?” Sasuke asked her. She hasn’t even asked him whether his views of the world have changed.

“I believe you’ll do the right thing.” Sakura leaned in and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Come back to me safely?”

Sasuke held her gaze, sincere in the uttering of his next words. “I will.”

TECHNICAL NOTES

GUNDAM – General Purpose Utility Non-Discontinuity Augmentation Maneuvering Weapon System

Coordinators – genetically enhanced human beings; improved traits e.g. faster learning, stronger bodies, more honed talents

Naturals – naturally born human being which did not undergo genetic modifications

Earth Forces/Earth Alliance – predominantly Natural

ZAFT – Zodiac Alliance of Freedom Treaty; PLANT’s national army, members comprised fully of coordinators

PLANT – space colonies

Orb Union – nation composed of neutral territories located east of New Guinea

Music used for this writing: Mizu no Akashi | Fields of Hope

[offbeatcappuccino]

Do You Like Brahms ?: The Significance of Traumerei and Widmung

I am an impatient woman. This quality of mine is exactly why I can no longer watch American tv shows because I simply do not have the patience to watch past a season. This exact quality is what makes it incredibly difficult for me to watch on-going kdramas. I operate by a simple policy: If I cannot binge watch a kdrama over a weekend, then I most probably will not be watching it. However, Do You Like Brahms? was a notable exception to this rule. Despite juggling three lab courses, an internship, and a tutoring gig, I somehow managed to tune into Do You Like Brahms? every Monday and Tuesday and believe when I say that I watched every episode three times. I would first watch the clips that SBS uploaded for each episode before watching the unsubtitled version, and then, I would end my evenings with the complete English subtitled version. I was practically obsessed with the show, even though the show was in many ways imperfect. However, when it came to writing the review, I felt like the original review I wrote didn’t give me room to completely analyze the show to my heart’s content. In this post, I want to focus on the roles of Traumerei and Widmung as motifs reinforced throughout the plot.

The first time that Chae Song Ah and Park Joon Young have a real conversation is when they are both waiting for their respective friend at the airport and Joon Young asks Song Ah what she had to do to land the internship at Kyunghoo Cultural Foundation and Song Ah explains that she designed a concerto surrounding Clara, Schuman, and Brahms and Joon Young asks if the theme of her concert was unattainable love to which Song Ah responds that it was instead a story of three friends. She then asks Joon Young the titular question, “Do you like Brahms” , to which Joon Young resolutely responds no and we soon discover . This brief conversation speaks volumes for the current state of Joon Young and Song Ah’s lives. Though it may not be apparent, unattainable love and friendship are really the same sides of the same coin as both Joon Young and Song Ah are stuck in love triangles. Joon Young has feelings for Jung Kyung, but knows that a relationship between them can never materialize because their friend Hyeon Ho is deeply in love with Jung Kyung. Similarly, Song Ah harbors feelings for Dong Yoon, but conceals them because of his relationship with her friend Min Sung. For both of these individuals, what they conceive as “love” is unattainable, but it is ultimately sacrificed for the necessity of friendship. 

Perhaps no one grapples with this notion more than Joon Young because he is immediately forced to confront the mess of Jung Kyung wanting to break off things with Hyeon Ho to be with him right when he starts to take the initiative to move on from her. He knows that pursuing a relationship with Jung Kyung will ultimately be one that brings pain, but he’s a man struggling with  feelings of lingering attachment. We see that in how he plays “Traumerei” by Schuman as a warm-up before his practice and it also happens to be Jung Kyung’s favorite song. In many ways, Traumerei is a symbolic representation of the ties that needs to be cut and we start to see him do that when he pursues a friendship and ultimately a romantic relationship with Song Ah. 

When Joon Young and Song Ah enter into a relationship, there are already many underlying problems that threaten its foundation. For Joon Young, he cannot completely remove Jung Kyung or successfully establish boundaries that stop her from feeling like she’s entitled to his personal and professional life because of her problematic clinginess. Song Ah, who already suffers from serious self esteem issues regarding her ability as a violinist, constantly compares herself to Jung Kyung ( a violin prodigy) and questions if someone like her can really date the “great” Joon Young. For both, Traumerei really is a song that encapsulates their insecurities and we see the song make a reappearance right when it seems like Joon Young and Song Ah’s relationship is heading towards a train wreck. When Song Ah discovers that Joon Young played Traumerei, things spiral into chaos and we see them break up because Song Ah realizes that this relationship can no longer superficially exist when they cannot be honest about each others’ feelings. 

However, just when the audience starts to get the idea that this tale may become one about “the one that got away, we see our characters thrive individually and reunite, giving us a sweet satisfying end to a drama that elicited a plethora of emotions. Song Ah finally comes to terms with the fact that her emotional relationship with the violin has changed. The violin has no longer become something that she loves but a source of immense burden as playing violin has forced her to navigate a toxic clout-focused environment. Instead, she chooses to pursue a profession in concert and event planning so she could continue to love classical music for simply being music. Jung Kyung realizes that her efforts to win back Joon Young are meaningless and futile, and Joon Young finally speaks up for himself by confessing his love for Song Ah. Its a pleasant surprise when he expresses this through his performance of Widmung, which moves Song Ah to tears and pushes her to reciprocate Joon Young’s feelings. I find this scene especially beautiful because a piece by Schuman that symbolized so much heartbreak for the both of them was replaced by another piece by Schumann that symbolizes hope and love. While Traumerei means dream, Widmung means dedication and the transition from one song to the other symbolizes the growth of Joon Young and Song Ah. In the beginning of Do You Like Brahms, the idea of achieving true contentment was in many ways treated as an unattainable dream by Joon Young and Song Ah. Joon Young constantly put others before himself and Song Ah constantly felt unworthy. However, at the end, by choosing to dedicate themselves to a relationship founded on reciprocity and love, they are able to face their inner turmoil and purse what truly makes them feel happy.

[littlestarlost]

what happened.

All this hunger is Always following us Out where we survive under poisonous skies They’re dreaming, but nobody’s sleeping Just coked hearts speeding See all the gold teeth gleaming See all the young, healthy free men Just move into nothing

(CW: discussion of mental health, trauma, PTSD)

A version of this post has been sitting in my drafts folder for ten months. I know this, because I originally began to write it around late January, just in time for the one-year mark to have passed since I’d last updated Setting Sun. When I posted that most recent update, I had just turned 30 years old, and I promised that it would not be another year before the next update. I wanted, so badly, for that to be true. In hindsight, it’s honestly better that I failed to keep that promise; I fear it might have exacerbated the damage that’s already been done, and made the healing process that much harder.

It’s been nearly two years. I want to talk about what happened.

I first began to write about Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov because I recognized myself so keenly in them; Yuuri’s high-achieving anxiety and imposter syndrome, and Victor’s quietly functional depression. When I found YOI, I was in grad school; I was winning awards, the top of my class, and utterly terrified that it was all a sham. Being able to channel those emotions through these characters helped me realize my own greatness, to embody it and walk with confidence and bravado. It allowed me to go into my post-degree job search with my head held high, trusting that all the lessons I had learned would lead me to professional success. Yuuri and Victor walked through life with me, two shadows of my own psyche, two people who helped me understand myself.

The first few months of the job were fine. Then things became less than fine, and then continued to descend into the kind of mundane nightmare that only multinational corporate legal firms could manifest. Setting Sun, a story about love and self-acceptance and joy, began to twist around in on itself. I don’t want to go into detail, but suffice to say that I spent nearly two years being gaslit and abused, told I was worthless, constantly having panic attacks as I desperately tried to exert control over things that were way over my head. My body betrayed me; I was in so much pain I couldn’t walk, so stressed I couldn’t bring myself to eat unless I’d smoked weed to calm the nausea. I began to believe that I had peaked in grad school, that I was fooling myself, that I was going to be trapped in that cubicle for the rest of my life, doing grunt work without challenge or interest, in the kind of workplace where you get reported to HR for sighing too loudly. That is a thing that actually fucking happened to me; nobody asked why I might be sighing, and nobody stopped by to check in when I spent most days in tears. This was a place where less than half the people in the room put up their hands when asked if they had ever been creative as kids. This was a place where I almost never got to see the sun.

Because I was massively overqualified and even more massively underworked, I spent a lot of 2018 writing fanfic--my zine pieces, my zutara pieces, all sorts of creative things. I also began to write horror AUs; two stories, in particular, gained a fair amount of traction on this particular platform. When I look back now, I see them for the coping mechanisms that they were; in the case of the crossroads AU, where Yuuri is willing to sell his soul to the devil just to escape his commute, it wasn’t even particularly subtle. I poured all my energy into creative pursuits; it’s been my outlet my whole life, and for a while it helped. By the time I hit the SCP-9874 AU, I burned out so profoundly and utterly that it destroyed my relationship to YOI and cauterized the pieces. SCP-9874 was one of the most creative things I’ve ever done, but it also involved what is, in hindsight, a shocking level of violence and horror inflicted on these characters who were such a close part of me. I was doing this to them because I was hurting, all the time. I now recognize it as the cry for help that it was, and to this day I fantasize about taking down all the SCP-9874 posts and excising that portion of my legacy as much as possible.

I wrote Setting Sun’s 21st chapter in honour of my 30th birthday, in late January of 2019. Somehow, at the time, I didn’t realize how rough it was. How much it implied about me and how I was doing. How much it reflected the true extent of the damage I was suffering. I left Victor and Yuuri in an abandoned apartment with more questions than answers and more regrets than they or I had ever thought possible, and I thought, somehow, that this was a good turning point. Little did I know at the time that the worst was still to come.

I was able to finally escape that toxic office last October, when I found a new job that paid nearly double and was everything I wanted to do in life and more. But  Yuri on Ice hurt too much to think about, even as time marched forward and I began to heal. I had PTSD flashbacks to the old office; I dealt with echo upon echo of terror that everything would fall away to reveal I was trapped in the same old nightmare again. In January 2020, I actually took a few days off for my birthday and reread Setting Sun from the beginning, and I’d somehow forgotten how funny it is, how sweet it is, how hopeful. I had completely forgotten; it had been burned away by twenty months of agony. That realization hurt more than all the other ones put together, I think. I had a good long cry over that.

Fast forward to now, and people have started to find Setting Sun again. They’ve found it on and off in the months since I updated, and for a very long time I would read the truly lovely comments people wrote--thanking me for writing it, hoping I’d come back someday, wishing me well wherever I was--and I would dissolve into tears because I just...couldn’t. I couldn’t bear to go back to this story that I could no longer recognize myself in. And nowadays, when new commenters come, I will warn them about that last chapter I wrote, because I can recognize it as the outlier it is.

But something has very recently changed.

I couldn’t necessarily tell you exactly what. Maybe it’s that I passed the one-year mark at my new job, and the last of the poison has finally been excised. Maybe it’s because I’m looking at all my writing with new eyes as I prepare to try doing this for a living. Maybe it’s because it’s 2020, and the rules aren’t really relevant anymore. I don’t know. But I can say that, two weekends ago, I opened Setting Sun, and realized that it didn’t seem impossible anymore. I realized that the boys had been through more than enough. We’ve been through more than enough. We deserve the happy ending I always planned to give them, going back four whole years when I first planned out this massive weird tale.

It’s been a very long time. It’s been exactly long enough.

I can’t promise exactly when the final chapter of Setting Sun will arrive. I’m walking back onto previously thin ice, and my footsteps are more than a little hesitant, so as not to cause any undue cracks. But I can remember the joy and humour and fun again; I can conceive of jokes and silliness and sweetness again. My playlist is filling up again, with songs of hope and love instead of anguish and sorrow. The Yuuri and Victor who sit inside my heart are skating; the music is carrying them, the wind is rushing past their ears, their feet feel light again and they want to jump and take flight and make beautiful things.

I have bookended this post with lyrics from a song that’s been on the maybe list for Setting Sun for nearly as long as Setting Sun has existed. It’s a song I love quite profoundly, a song that means a lot to me personally, but I could never manage to make it fit. It’s a song about running away to the big bright city, about being broken on the world’s wheel, and about realizing you just want to go home. It’s a song that’s ostensibly about the tragedy of this process, but right now I’m sitting at my desk, listening to the line I, I, I wanna go back, back, back, back, with grateful tears running down my face, and I’m realizing that it’s not part of Yuuri’s story, nor Victor’s; it’s part of mine. Home may never be the same as when you left, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t waiting for you with open arms.

So that’s what happened.

Put my body on a wagon And carry me off to the ocean Let me float on into the eastern sun Out where tomorrow has just begun Where I used to be wild, back in my time Now I just fight to sleep at night So render me up into the elements Lay me in a light that I can trust Lay me in a light that I can trust Lay me in a light that I come from...

(Gold Teeth, by Hey Rosetta!)

[daggerzine]

The Simon Provencher interview (by Tom Murphy)

Simon Provencher is perhaps best known for his frenetic and creative guitar work for the post-punk band VICTIME out of Québec. But on March 26, 2021 the musician released his debut EP Mesures via Michel Records. It is six tracks of free jazz collages that bear favorable comparison to the avant-garde compositions of Anthony Braxton as Provencher makes creative and playful use of clarinet, electric guitar, percussion and processing to convey a strong sense of mood and place while making one very aware of aspects of the environment around us we often tune out. In pairing aspects of exploratory jazz and musique concrète, Provencher has given us an album that is both soothing and keeps us grounded in the present. The composer and musician recently answered some questions we presented to him via email about the nature of his music, its inspirations and methods of crafting its elegantly evocative passages.

 Dagger Zine (Tom Murphy): Mesures will probably hit some people's ears as akin to a free jazz or spontaneous composition type of record. How did you approach putting together these songs and experimenting with sound compared with maybe how you do with VICTIME?

Simon Provencher: People wouldn’t be wrong in these assumptions at all. Mesures is a record that was written very quickly. I decided to trust my first instincts for much of the record. With VICTIME, our approach has always been more iterative. By that I mean that we’ll loop “embryonic” parts over and over again, slowly changing elements, morphing the composition until we found ourselves happy with how everything sounded together. I’m still very much into this way of writing, but Mesures was a much more immediate affair.

For me, inspiration almost always comes from timbre, usually through loads of guitar pedals. In this case though, I wanted to see what sounds and textures I could get out of the electric guitar without using any external effects or even amplification. Timbre was still my main concern, but in a more subtle way I guess. I slightly detuned the strings and experimented with resonances, chord shapes, finger placement, fingernails, etc. I also “prepared” the guitar: I jammed objects between the strings and tied sewing thread to the strings (if you pinch the thread with slightly wet fingers and slide them around, you get eerie, reverse-like effects).

Enough about me though, another big change was that this record was made remotely with two new collaborators, Elyze Venne-Deshaies (clarinet) and Olivier Fairfield (percussion). Both of them had “carte blanche” (pardon my french) to do whatever they wanted. I can’t speak much to their personal approach to improvisation, but both of them are seasoned veterans and delivered absolutely amazing performances.

 D: Some people might think of any kind of music declared experimental is a barrier to its acceptance but your album seems to me very accessible as a form of pure expression. Do you have a sense of why your songs seem so open and, as one reviewer put it, welcoming?

 S: I don’t quite know actually. I do agree that the songs have a certain softness to them that was certainly somewhat intentional. When I did the initial guitar parts, I did set out to make something conventionally “beautiful”, or at least “not harsh”. I don’t really have the vocabulary to describe what happened there, but the resonances, repetitions and patterns definitely implied a soft mood from the get go.

I guess this foundation inspired Elyze and Olivier to also play with softer tones, to approach the music with warmth and subtlety in mind. They really “got” the vibe of the music without me ever telling them anything about my intentions. A “shift” of some kind happened when the clarinet parts were added to the drums and guitars. I felt like the mood of the pieces almost completely changed (in a positive way, of course). I think there’s something to the linearity of Elyze and Olivier’s playing, in contrast with the repetitive, hypnotic guitars that gives the music a sense of wandering aimlessness which I really love.

On the audio engineering side, I did intentionally mix the songs with a certain softness in mind. We added some warm tape saturation to some of the sounds and carved out a lot of higher frequencies. On the songs with feedback and noise, Simon Labelle, who mastered the record, made it so that when the clarinets get louder, the high-frequency content ducks out of the way a little bit. This nifty little trick does help out a lot with making the noisy songs more warm and inviting too.

 D: Listening through the album I found it resonated with the albums of Anthony Braxton and Ornette Coleman. The former of which never considered his music part of jazz though he is often associated with that form of music and the latter who expanded the range, dynamics and tonal choices of jazz. Were you inspired by in any way by those forms of abstract yet emotionally expressive music? How might you describe its impact on what you've done?

S: I totally was! I discovered Anthony Braxton through Québec jazz guitar great René Lussier. I’ve been a fan of Le Trésor de la Langue for a while and I got into his back catalog last year: his collaborations with Fred Frith, EAI stuff and more, some of which was released on “Les Disques Victo”. “Victo” stands for Victoriaville, a small city between Quebec and Montreal, where there’s a great contemporary music festival named FIMAV. Shamefully, I haven’t actually been to FIMAV yet, but I’ve loved finding recordings of some amazing concerts, a favourite being Anthony Braxton and Derek Bailey’s 1987 Moment Précieux. I was amazed to find out about this rich local history of musical experimentation and improvisation. This record was very much inspired by the whole FIMAV sound.

Coleman is another great point of reference. His records and those of his collaborators, Don Cherry being another big one, all are major inspirations. As a guitar player, I especially got into James “Blood” Ulmer’s career. I really admire his approach to guitar and the immediacy and expressiveness of his music.

 I’m probably paraphrasing it all wrong, but Don Cherry said of Ornette Coleman’s “harmolodic” approach that instead of improvising from chords, like in bebop, you’d start with melodies and improvise to create new forms, harmonies, rhythms to try and reach a certain “brilliance” as he calls it. You’d try to make the music transcend. In harmolodic theory, melody, rhythm and harmony are treated as equals, no solos, no lead and accompaniment dichotomy, no strict timing, scale or tonality.

This is both quite simple but also quite hard to actually grasp in a musical setting, and I’m far from mastering any of it, nor is it necessarily something I strive for, but it is an inspiring way to conceive improvised music for sure.

 D: The first half of the album you make great use of what sounds like atonal melodies yet they perfectly convey the mood and lend a sense of texture. What informed employing those sounds in the songwriting?

S: I’ve always written music without much regard for tonality, key, etc. My musical background is still very much anchored in No Wave and noise music, where skronky chords and weird, unstable melodies are the norm rather than the exception. When playing, I really don’t think much about it, I follow what sounds good to me in the moment.

Looking back on the recorded music though, I feel like there is a lot of nuance to be found in atonality and imperfection. Detuned chords ringing out have such complex and interesting decaying resonances, you can almost hear the frequencies battling each other. These interactions between notes and lines that fall just short of resolving are part of the magic and intrigue of abstract music. In the case of Mesures, I think there’s something special with how some of the atonal, out of tune textures and weird synths clash beautifully with the in-tune clarinet parts, making either one “pop out” depending on where you focus your attention.

 D: The second half or at least the second three songs on the album use processed drones and what some might call noise underneath or in the background, although very much a presence in the mix, of the clarinets? What do you feel this almost contrast in sounds conveyed that say a more conventional arrangement might not?

The second half of the record is basically a rearrangement of the first three songs. There’s four clarinet parts in there! On the first side, they fade in and out of focus, but on side B, everything is there all at once.

This is basically the result of me simply “soloing” the clarinet takes in my DAW (Digital Audio Workstation, the software used to arrange and mix the music). When I heard the four clarinets at once, I really fell in love with the sound.

 So I knew I wanted this to be the focal point of the rearrangement, and I knew I wanted to add something. I just happened to be working with feedback that week, so it kind of fell in place. Feedback manipulation was a technical interest first, I had gotten a new guitar pedal called a Feedback Looper, which sends some of your output signal back into the input of a series of pedals. This creates self-oscillating and rich, detailed noises that are somewhat interactive and malleable. By turning some knobs and flicking some switches on ordinary guitar pedals, you end up with an infinite amount of possible glitches and shrieking high frequency tones.

I don’t know if my ears got accustomed to it or what, but I’ve come to really enjoy the sound of this process. I also really love the tactile aspect of it, it feels kind of like an unpredictable modular synthesizer. When I had recorded the feedback improvisation, which I did in one single take, I thought this sparse, harsh rearrangement was a nice contrast with the more warm, conventional first three songs. At that point, the record felt complete.

 D: The final three songs also remind me of Philip Glass in his soundtrack work wherein he mixes the playful and flowing with the dissonant. How would you say these sounds complement each other in your own music?

S: Especially on this release, while there are a lot of sounds that are contrasting with each other, I also feel like there is a sense of shared directionality. The song Et quart is a good example of this. The high feedback notes start out in almost complete opposition to the meandering low clarinet lines, but, as the song progresses, the sounds somehow seem to merge with each other and they end up flowing in the same direction for the song’s climax.

 D: What are some other artists operating now that you find interesting and/or inspirational and resonant with what you're doing?

There’s way too many to name them all, but I’ll try! I think there’s a very interesting local-ish scene around me. I admire the work of N NAO, either her solo releases or her collaborations with Joni Void. Sarah Pagé does mind-bending music with harp and effects; I’ve had the pleasure of catching her live in Ottawa just before the pandemic started last year. Kara-Lys Coverdale is also a major inspiration, so is Kee Avil, whose live show and guitar playing blew me away.

I also need to shout out my friend (and bandmate) Mathieu A. Seulement, whose end-year list allowed me to catch up on a lot of fantastic new music, including, but not limited to Ana Roxane’s Because of a Flower, Jasmine Guffond’s Microphone Permission, Caterina Barbieri’s Ecstatic Computation and, last but not least, Holly Herndon’s magnificent Proto.

  **the three Simon photos were taken by Charlotte Savoie

www.simonprovencher.bandcamp.com 

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Helllooo May i request a fic where the reader is an art student in the university of oxenfurt and Jaskier come in as a model one day. She falls in love with him immidiatally and just cant stop painting pictures about him. Later Jask visits her in her studio and see all the stuff about himself. Then love confession( maybe he's been writing songs about her) and some soft kissing😇

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 2,099Rating: TTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract @your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan a/n: This was a lovely prompt, I hope you like what I did with i!

“Hmm… I don’t think you’ve quite captured me.”

You shook your head and a little smile turned up the corner of your mouth but you kept your eyes focused on your canvas.

“You are supposed to be a model and models don’t speak,” you murmured quietly.

“I’m so bored though.”

You glanced up at the man who posed in front of you. Jaskier was hunched over, chin resting on his fist. He looked more pouting than pensive as he was supposed to be but the moment your eyes met, he perked up a bit.

There was no one else in the art studio since it was after hours, class having ended long ago. You’d been sick one day and Jaskier had graciously volunteered to come by and help you catch up on what you’d missed. You were in week three of the “month long strip tease” as he called it, taking a layer off each time. This week he was down to a loosely untucked chemise, sleeves rolled up to the elbows and pants whose laces were undone but still rested just at the hip. Boots were long gone, leaving him barefoot. Indeed, if anyone who walked by the doors saw him in his attire and you, a bit sweaty with disheveled hair, tired after a long day of classes made longer by this extra work, they would have assumed something unsavory was happening. They would have been tragically mistaken.

“You didn’t have to agree to this. Hell, it was your idea,” you reminded him, extending the handle of your paintbrush to gently position his chin back to where it was supposed to be. He playfully nipped at the brush but then moved back into position dutifully.

“Hmm, yes, and why do you suppose I did that?” he asked. It was the same flirtatious tone he used with everyone and you knew that, but still you felt a little shiver of excitement at the tone. Perhaps one day someone would use that with you and mean it but it wouldn’t be Jaskier, the traveling bard with a thousand muses around the globe. He had no need for a simple art student with barely enough life experiences to count on one hand. That would change when you graduated, though. You were determined. Though as the day came closer you grew more anxious about those barely conceived plans.

“You are a patron of the arts of course,” you replied, mixing the shades of blue together. You’d known the first day he walked into the classroom that those eyes would torment you as you tried to create the right shade to capture them. You knew you’d never feel you truly got it right and so far you’d been correct. You’d made far more paintings than the three you’d done for class. In your personal studio you had what appeared to be a shrine to the bard. You just couldn’t get him out of your head and your fingers itched constantly to paint him again, to try and capture his likeness better, more accurately.

“I suppose that must be it,” Jaskier said in somewhat plaintive tone. Yet when you looked back at him again he gave you a little wink and you stopped worrying, rolling your eyes again and setting to get the portrait done.

You were finished before another hour passed and though he tried to catch a glimpse you successfully hid it from him.

“I offered you a deal,” you said, “You show me the song you’ve been working on and I’ll show you the painting that I’m working on. A fair trade of artistic sampling.”

“Perhaps another time,” he said, “May I walk you home?”

Since meeting in that first class nearly a month ago the pair of you had struck up an easy friendship. In truth you felt much more than that for him but you were happy just for the chance to talk with him, much less anything else. He was brilliant and funny and endlessly encouraging. When you told him of your dreams of traveling he’d insisted that you do it and even offered to introduce you to some nobles who had a keen eye for artists they wanted to support. In all of that time, though, you’d never seen each other away from the sprawling campus of Oxenfurt University.

“Alright,” you said a little reluctantly, nervous but also unwilling to pass up a single opportunity to spend more time with him. He gallantly offered you his arm and the pair of you walked through the streets. It was twilight and lamplighters were roving about to light the lanterns that would keep you safe as you walked, the skies bathed in a soft golden and pink watercolor.

“Are you excited to be finishing classes soon?” Jaskier asked.

“I should be,” you said. He laughed, but not unkindly. It was a laugh of understanding.

“I felt much the same when I approached graduation,” he said, “Sometimes I think that’s why I come back so often to lecture and just visit. I felt safe here.”

“Do you not feel safe out there?” you asked.

“No. But that’s part of the fun of it, right? The uncertainty, the potential for danger which makes it exciting,” he mused.

“I suppose so… But I do wish there was a way to both have adventures and be safe or at least feel safer,” you replied.

“Travelling with a witcher has helped a bit. You’re much harder to kill with one around,” he said.

“You’re also the target of more attacks though,” you countered. You’d heard him tell stories about his adventures to breathless students but you hadn’t joined in on their glee. Instead you’d grown more and more worried about the bard’s safety and whether you’d ever see him again once he’d left the school to join Geralt on his next hunt.

“Well there’s always a tradeoff,” Jaskier said glibly. You walked in silence for a time and when you reached your home you realized that at some point during the walk your hooked elbows had slid down to clasped hands. You both noticed at the same time and laughed a little nervously.

“Would you like some tea?” you offered instinctively, not wanting the moment to end. Jaskier eagerly agreed and followed you into your house. It was a humble place but he praised it as though it were a mansion, and he’d likely seen many in his time. Hell, as a viscount, perhaps he had even been raised in one.

“Make yourself at home,” you called as you walked to the little kitchen to get the fire going. Jaskier didn’t need telling twice, already walking around the room, looking at book titles and little drawings. He smiled at what appeared to be an early art piece of yours that had been lovingly framed by a family member, a drawing scrawled by a child that seemed to be… a dog? An elephant? Some animal. He continued to walk through the little house, glancing into the open door of your bedroom. There was a closed door and though he knew you probably would rather he didn’t, he couldn’t fight back his curiosity and opened the door.

—–

“Jaskier? Tea is ready! Jaskier?” you walked back into the little living area and saw no sign of him. You poked your head down the hall and almost walked back away, thinking he may have left suddenly, and then you saw a sliver of light coming from the door you knew had been closed. Your heart leapt to your throat and you ran towards it as though you could outpace what had already occurred.

There stood Jaskier, staring at a portrait you’d most recently completed, surrounded by sketches. Not all were of his entire face or body but you knew that he knew exactly whose disembodied hands and eyes and mouth and other randomly positioned angles of body they were.

“Fuck, ok, I can explain,” you began, heart beating a mile a minute. Jaskier turned to look at you but you didn’t see fear or disgust, just a soft look of surprise.

“Y/N?” he said.

He was giving you the chance to explain like you said you would but no words came to mind. You just stared at him blankly, panicking, feeling the walls close in around you.

“I think… I may be able to help,” he said. He walked past you and you waited to hear the front door open and close as he left, possibly to get the guards but most likely just to escape you. But then you heard him walk back, holding the leather notebook he drew in often but never showed you. He opened it to a page and handed the book to you, a nervous, expectant look in his pale, blue eyes. You took it with trembling fingers and at first you weren’t sure why he was showing it. Perhaps he thought that he should offer some exchange of art since he’d seen yours. Maybe he somehow didn’t recognize the man in the pictures as himself. Maybe this could all blow over and be nothing.

And then you saw your name.

“Jaskier what is this?” you asked, flipping the pages and finding more descriptions, not with your name specifically, but of a woman who sounded unmistakably like yourself.

“This is the bardic version of what this room shows, I believe,” he said, his voice soft, “They’re pieces dedicated to someone I have fallen very much in love with over the last few weeks.”

Your wide eyes tore away from the journal to meet Jaskier’s. Now he was the one who looked uncertain and scared, waiting for you to run from him.

“You don’t think it’s weird then?” you asked, gesturing to the room as you placed the journal on a shelf nearby, hands trembling too much to keep a secure hold of it.

“Oh no, it’s very weird. But love makes you do weird things. Like fill a journal full of half-formed songs about someone or stay late to pose for paintings or snoop in rooms you know you shouldn’t because you just can’t resist getting every little bit of them you can,” he replied, moving a bit closer and gently brushing his fingers against your cheek. Though he’d thrown on his doublet again the chemise was still unbuttoned and you rested your hands against his chest, fingers twining in the dark hair.

“Whoever said anything about love?” you teased, “I could just be incredibly enamored or perhaps a very artistic murderer.”

“Well I was speaking for myself mostly,” he answered, “But you’re right. I should be concerned. Shall I call Geralt to defend me against you and your wicked brush?”

“Ooh watch out, Jaskier, don’t sass me! You may find yourself having a brush with death,” you said, emphasizing the pun unnecessarily. Jaskier groaned and shook his head.

“Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind.”

You opened your mouth to make some other, terrible joke but he stopped you with a kiss, mouth brushing against yours with the barest touch but you recaptured his lips with yours and felt him card his hand through your hair as yours tightened against his chest. His kisses were soft and tender and nothing like what you’d expected the renowned rogue to offer but then the people who spread those rumors hadn’t known him like you did.

“Come with me,” Jaskier whispered against your lips.

“What?” you breathed back. His eyes found yours and you were struck again by the puzzling color. Was it blue? Or was it grey? Was it even the same thing all the time or did they change on you? You would spend the rest of your life trying to figure it out but oh what a happy quest.

“When you graduate you said you want to travel the world. You’re graduating soon. Come with me when you do. I’ll take you everywhere. I’ll show you the world. I can’t promise to keep you safe, there is always a tradeoff, but I will do everything I can and I promise you it won’t be boring,” he replied, words spoken in a hushed tone like someone offering a fervent prayer. You considered his words, thinking about the risks but more than that, thinking about the things that are worth taking risks for. And the people.

“Ok,” you breathed in response, “Yes. Take me with you. Show me everything.”

“Oh love,” he said, licking his lips which quirked into a wicked grin, “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

[narniaandplowmen]

My lute be still for I have done.

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier Also on AO3 2608 words.

General Audiences / No Archive Warnings Apply Complete

Part 1 of Half a Century of Poetry

Three months after The Mountain, Jaskier is a one-day journey away from Oxenfurt. There, one night before he enters the city to become a professor, he writes and performs his final song.

Jaskier couldn’t perform. It had been three damn months  and he still couldn’t perform. Oh sure, he tried, and he did manage to get through some songs without being hindered by sobs ripping their way up from the core of his heart. But he couldn’t perform.  He couldn’t even get through the first few chords of Toss a Coin without his throat closing up and forcing him to change to a different song before even opening his mouth to sing the first line. Sure, he had tried singing the very few songs in his repertoire that did  not  speak about the Witcher and his heroic deeds, but every single song somehow circled back to Geralt. Geralt, who had, in no uncertain terms, told him it was better if Jaskier were dead. If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands.

He had attempted to sing Fishmonger’s Daughter, but that only reminded him of their first meeting and Parvetta’s betrothal feast. Even the songs he had written for Countess de Stael were unplayable. He couldn’t fool himself. He knew that, even though the songs described the long soft hair and gorgeous eyes of a maid unaware of her own beauty, he was really describing a certain long-haired, yellow-eyed self-conscious Witcher. And even if he did manage to fool himself, the instrument he held was, on occasion, more than enough to make his heart break into even smaller pieces, if that was even possible. The lute was a physical reminder of their first adventure, of the compassion Geralt had shown even when his life was threatened. And yet Jaskier could not manage to part with it, could not even conceive of selling it. It was, after all, some sort of reminder that Geralt had, once, cared. Had, once, put Jaskier’s life above his own. Once.

It had been three months. Three damn months and Jaskier felt pathetic. He had hoped, dreamed, wished, prayed that by now he would be over it, his broken heart would be healed even the tiniest bit, but now that winter was fast approaching, he had to accept the fact that it would not. Instead of nagging at Geralt that he was getting so cold, that he needed the Witcher’s body warmth -  ‘I am a mutant, my skin is cold,’ Jaskier could hear the words as if Geralt was standing next to him - he was camping in a forest alone, with nothing but his thoughts to distract him from the biting cold and his chattering teeth. Tomorrow, he would be in Oxenfurt. Tomorrow, he would be surrounded by hundreds of people, welcomed warmly and, hopefully, offered a teaching position, like the university had done every time he travelled through town. Where he had always kindly refused, he would, this time, graciously accept. Jaskier had prepared his excuses well: he would tell them he was too old to travel the road, he would speak of the ‘importance of giving way for a new generation’, he would complain about his knees hurting if he walked too much. And then, maybe, hopefully, nobody would question that he was not following the white-haired Witcher anymore. And if they begged him to play… If they begged him to play, he would refuse. He would, Jaskier had decided, claim he was rheumatic. State that playing hurt. It would give an excuse for his sombre state, for his tears if he did play, for his choice to leave the Path he had always spoken so fondly of. Jaskier the Traveling Bard, the moment he entered Oxenfurt, would cease to exist, replaced by Professor Pankratz.

 But that wouldn’t be until he entered the city. So now, in the dark loneliness of the forest, Jaskier grabbed his lute and played.

  My lute awake performe the last

Labour that thou and I shall waste:

And end that I have now begonne:

And when this song is song and past:

My lute be styll for I have done.

 Jaskier remembered how his parents had disapproved of his career path. They had been elated when he had announced he wanted to go to Oxenfurt, but this happiness was short-lived once they had learned that their son was not planning on studying business, or politics, or some sort of scientific program. Wanting to study the seven liberal arts had caused multiple huge fights. Most of them were now, so many years later, a vague, negative blur in his mind, but he remembered one thing vividly. During one of the final fights he had had with his parents before they allowed him to go, he had stood in a windowsill on the third floor, holding tight but hovering one foot over the empty air below, yelling that he ‘would rather DIE than give up music’. And now, as he played, he knew that giving it up would cause his death as well. He breathed out a small laugh. Die of heartbreak, a marvellously poetic way to go. How else was he expecting to die? Old, surrounded by friends and family? Children and grandchildren around his bed as he used his last words to say something wise? No, that had never been an option. He would cease playing and die, as he once, so long ago, when he lived in happier times, had joked: a broken-hearted man.

  As to be heard where eare is none:

As lead to grave in marble stone:

My song may pearse her hart as sone.

Should we then sigh? or singe, or mone?

No, no, my lute for I have done.

 He didn’t understand where he had gone wrong. Jaskier considered himself quite a good judge of character, and he knew that this was not just one of the self-aggrandising statements he often made. His ability to read others, mirror them and appease their needs was the exact reason he had become so well-know, so well-liked, the ‘skilled negotiator’ and ‘stirring orator’ that had been welcomed by courts around the Continent with open arms. Sure, musical talent was important, but any successful bard’s true strength was his ability to appease in all senses of the word. So where had he gone wrong? What had happened? Had he truly not been able to correctly judge the nature of his and Geralt’s relationship? He knew, of course he knew, that Geralt could never see Jaskier as Jaskier saw him. It was abundantly clear that their friendship was just that, a friendship. There would be no hope for anything other than that. Yet, Jaskier had been pretty confident in calling Geralt a friend. Sure, the Witcher denied it with each passing breath, but Jaskier knew that Geralt knew that all those denials were lies, attempts to not get attached to someone mortal, no matter the fact that Jaskier’s half-elf parentage meant he would still live twice as long as the average human. Twice as long was nothing, nothing compared to the eternity a quick Witcher could live. So Jaskier hadn’t pushed. Sure, he had joked, on occasion, but never too much. Never to the point where it made Geralt uncomfortable. Their friendship was an unspoken thing, and that was fine. So what had happened for that to change? Jaskier briefly stopped playing to wipe the tears from his cheeks. Pathetic. If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands. What had he done to deserve such a death-wish? Jaskier knew he had a tendency to be a bit too much, too bright, too happy, too loud. Yet still, did he deserve this fate?

 The rockes do not so cruelly

Repulse the waves continually,

As he my sute and affection:

So that I am past remedy,

Wherby my lute and I have done.

 Jaskier turned to add more wood to the fire. Next to the small stack of wood he had gathered, a tiny violet flower bloomed. He reached out, picking it from the dirt and turning it around between his fingers. Violet. Yennefer. The Wish. He had stumbled across the sorceress a month after The Mountain and, instead of cursing him, or killing him, or laughing at his pathetic state, she had bought them both tremendous amounts of ale and they had spent the night - bonding? Yes, that was the only appropriate word for it, no matter how weird it sounded. It turned out that Geralt had not only ruined his relationship with Jaskier that day. He had also managed to make an enemy of the most powerful person on the entire Continent. Jaskier had been appalled when Yennefer, in a soft voice, had shared what had happened when Geralt had found the djinn. Jaskier himself could remember little of it, and now he wished he could still live in that blissful ignorance. The knowledge that Yennefer saved him was awful enough on its own, but learning about the wish made Jaskier want to vomit. Sure, he was an ‘unparalleled lover’, but he always, always made sure he had the full, complete and enthusiastic consent of his partner before undertaking anything. What Geralt had done was cruel, opportunistic and shameful. And, although he never thought he would say the words, Yennefer deserved better. 

 Proude of the spoile that thou hast gotte

Of simple hartes through loves shot:

By whom unkinde thou hast them wonne,

Thinke not he hath his bow forgot,

Although my lute and I have done.

 It had turned out that Jaskier had not just ‘stumbled across’ Yennefer. Instead, she had sought him out. The next morning, after some handy magic spared him from nursing the worst hangover of his life, Yennefer had revealed her plan of vengeance. As the woman spoke, Jaskier made several mental notes to never ever cross her. Still, he had refused. He understood the desire for vengeance, for payment, for retribution but, Jaskier had told Yennefer, Geralt had taken enough of his life. He didn’t want to spend more time chasing the white-haired Witcher. Besides, without them, how many friends did the man have left? Letting him rot in his loneliness was enough of a punishment. Yennefer had disagreed, of course she had. But she had left him with a ring. Turning the blue stone twice would signal that he had changed his mind, that he wanted to take revenge anyway. Turning it thrice would alert Yennefer that he was in great danger. Turning it once would signify he was thinking of her. Turning the stone once, he turned back to his lute and continued to play.

  Vengeaunce shall fall on thy disdaine

That makest but game on earnest payne.

Thinke not alone under the sunne

Unquit to cause thy lovers plaine:

Although my lute and I have done

 As Jaskier played, another memory forced its way up to the forefront of his mind. It had been at the beginning of their travels, sitting next to a campfire similar to this whilst discussing Geralt’s newest contract.

 ‘What happens if you don’t manage to kill it this time?’ Jaskier, in his youthful innocence, had asked. 

 ‘I die.’ The Witcher had said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. 

 ‘And when does it end? All this fighting and travelling? When are you done?’

 ‘When I die.’ 

 ‘Don’t you want to settle down? Maybe somewhere on the seaside? Retire? Find a nice cottage?’ 

 ‘Witchers don’t retire,’ Geralt had grunted, with a tone that made it clear that this was the end of the conversation. 

 Later, Jaskier had often seen the exhaustion on Geralt’s face. The man might have thought he hid his emotions well, but the opposite was true. He had seen him glance at old, retired couples. He had seen the mental exhaustion as the Alderman tried to find loopholes to pay him less. He had seen the longing, aching, yearning that Geralt never truly allowed himself to admit he had. So, when Geralt had come down from the mountain with a clear look of defeat, Jaskier had extended him a metaphorical hand.

  ‘We could head to the coast. Get away for a while.’ 

 But instead of a nod, or of Geralt’s characteristical silence, he had been met with those words. That deathwish. Take you off my hands. And here Jaskier was, away from the Witcher who would, apparently, rather have him dead than alive. And some bitter part of him hoped that Geralt would make his way to the coast, would get away for a while, and would, finally, realise that Jaskier had been right. But by then it would be too late, and maybe, maybe, some vengeful part of him whispered, Geralt would feel even a fraction of the hurt Jaskier felt now. 

  May chance thee lie withered and olde,

In winter nightes that are so colde,

Playning in vain unto the mone:

Thy wishes then dare not be tolde.

Care then who list, for I have done.

 Jaskier knew the idea of Geralt retiring was laughable, of course he did. A Witcher did not retire. He lived on, fought monsters, got slow and died. Most likely somewhere in a muddy swamp, slowly and painfully bleeding out as his mutations tried their best to heal him, but failing to do so. Probably whilst being eaten by a kikimore or something equally awful. In those last hours, would Geralt think of him? Of Yennefer? Of the child surprise he had left behind, he had never visited? Or would he, by then, have completely forgotten about any of them. Were they all just a breeze in the wind, a single grain of sand in the desert of Geralt’s life? A soft buzz on his finger signalling that Yennefer, too, thought of him, removed him from those thoughts. No, it could not be. Jaskier had to have meant something. Geralt had allowed him to travel with him for two decades, that must have accounted for something, right? Maybe, just maybe, Geralt’s last thoughts would be of him. Maybe he would regret his behaviour, and maybe, when they both arrived at Melitele’s Gates, they would be reunited at last, and all would be well.

  And the may chance thee to repent

The time that thou hast lost and spent

To cause thy lovers sigh and swowne.

Then shalt thou know beauty but lent

And wish and want as I have done.

 Jaskier suppressed a yawn and, after adding a bit more wood to the fire so it would burn through the night and checking that the fire would not spread, leaned back against the tree behind him. He would need his energy tomorrow to make it to Oxenfurt before the city gates closed. He carefully placed his lute next to him, softly humming to give his voice a proper cooling down. ‘This is it, my sweet,’ he whispered softly in-between hums. ‘No more carefree playing for you.’ He did not even bother to wipe away the tears from his cheeks. Tomorrow, Jaskier the Bard would become Professor Julian Pankratz. Tomorrow, he would have to go back to the days where he had to hide his playing from the world, finding spaces where nobody could see his fingers touch the strings as if they had found their home. So, in a sombre, soft tone, Jaskier sang the final verse of his song acapella, heard only by the insects on the ground and the grey owl in the tree high above him.

  Now cease my lute this is the last

Labour that thou and I shall wast,

And ended is that we begonne.

Now is this song both song and past,

My lute be still for I have done. 

[sissytobitch10seconds]

For your Superlove prompt , would you write one for post - mpreg Stony where Steve and Tony are settling in with a cute chubby little new born. And Steve is adjusting to breastfeeding and being occupied with cute baby photos and outfits and sending videos and pictures to Tony throughout the day. Please 🥺

Thank you for this prompt! It was nice to be able to write something fluffy and cute instead of just smut, haha. I hope you enjoy, and remember that you can also find this on Archive!

Jamie Isolde Rogers-Stark had been born at 10:30 am on a chilly Friday in March. She was born in the same bed that she had been conceived in, not that either of her fathers would admit that for as long as they lived. She weighed ten pounds eight ounces, and was nineteen inches long. She had a head full of downey blond hair and bright blue eyes, so both of her parents were waiting to see what her final features would look like. 

Steve was currently sitting in one of the big plush chairs that they had ordered when he was getting large during his pregnancy as the couch or his normal chairs weren’t comfortable. He has his newborn laid on his lap with his hand behind her head. He was rocking back and forth gently while humming the song that he remembered his mother singing to him when he was small. 

He had been like that for some time now, content to just hold and love his little one. Jamie’s eyes slowly blinked open, squinting at her mother blearily for a moment. The baby then scrunched up her nose and let out a wail that shook the tower. “Okay, okay, I get the message,” Steve laughed. He carefully moved her so that she was lying against the arm of the chair and across his lap. He used his hands to remove his shirt as quickly as he could. He hated not being able to see his daughter, even for an instant.

“Papa’s here, shh,” Steve placed his hands underneath her bum and her head as he picked her up. He moved her so that her head was resting in the crook of his arm and his hand was underneath her bum with her little legs extending and scrunching with anger. “So hungry, I know,” he cooed, bringing her close to his chest.

Jamie began to mouth at his skin, desperately trying to find the place where she could latch on. Steve furrowed his brows and bit the side of his tongue as he moved her around to try and find the perfect place. He sucked in a panicked breath as she began to scream louder with her hunger rising.

“I’m sorry, just have some patience with me, angelface,” Steve mumbled. He finally got her where she needed to be and released an audible sigh of relief as she latched on. He collapsed the footrest of his recliner so that he could rock her. Jamie had latched onto his nipple and was no suckin away greedily.

The sensation of breastfeeding was nothing like he had ever experienced before. Even during his pregnancy when he had had to milk his tits just to get some kind of a relief from the swollen glands, this felt completely different. Not only did it feel odd on a physical level, with a bodily fluid literally being drawn from him, but there was a spiritual element to it as well. Something felt so right and perfect about having his baby this close to his chest and cuddled in his arms. He adored the thought of being able to provide for his baby and keep her healthy and happy.

Jamie pulled off of his nipple and smacked her lips a few times, her blue eyes closed again since the light was still a little much for the newborn. She whined, wiggling around in her mother’s hold as the meal hadn’t been quite enough.

“Alright, hold your little horses, miss fussypants,” Steve chuckled. He carefully moved the baby so that she was lying in his other arm and then repeated the quest to get her in the right location for feeding. He moved one of his hands up to her face just as she started suckling. He ran his hand down the soft skin of her cheek and then up over the head of hair. 

He had been surprised by her lack of hair, more than anything else when she was born. Everyone always talked about how much hair their babies had, but she had been born with a normal amount, according to their midwife.

He chuckled softly at the memory, “You’re perfect to me, precious. Doesn’t matter how much hair you have right now or ever. Everything about you is perfect.”

He let out a contented sigh as his daughter kept eating. When she finished, he grabbed the burp rag from where it was still sitting on the coffee table. They were now everywhere as they discovered that Jamie couldn’t even go a single meal without having some it come back up. He placed it over his shoulder and maneuvered the baby so that she was lying against him. Her head was placed the way that it was supposed to and he was supporting her with one hand. With his other hand, he firmly patted her back until she released a loud, wet burp.

“Good girl!” Steve praised happily. He brought her down after making sure that he was supporting her head and her body. He used a corner of the burp rag to clean up her face before he discarded it back onto the coffee table. “I think it’s time for Papa to get some lunch too.” He grabbed the baby carrier that had been lying down by the chair from earlier that morning.

Steve laid Jamie down in his lap like he had before and got the carrier fastened on his body. Around the house, they had a sling-style carrier so that Jamie could move around the way she liked while also being close to her mother. When they were out in public, they had the traditional carrier that would prevent her movements a little bit more and keep her safer. He picked up the baby and laid her gently down in the carrier. 

He drifted around the house after he got his lunch. Jamie had settled down for a nap, like she always did when she was cuddled up close to her mother. Steve knew that he probably should have put her in her crib, but he couldn’t help himself. She was so small, chubby, cute, and all his. He wanted her to be with him all the time, so that he wouldn’t miss a moment of her life. He also wanted to get in as much cuddling and smothering as he could before she got old enough to start needing space so she could grow into a fully functioning human.

He finished up the chores that he hadn’t been able to get done that morning. He sat back down and changed Jamie when she woke up from her nap. She spent a little bit of time gurgling in his lap as he cooed at her, telling her silly little stories. 

“Do you want a bath?” he asked, bringing his face down to kiss her nose. She gurgled and reached up, grabbing at his hair as he pulled away as quickly as possible. 

He carried her to the bathroom, holding her in one arm as he filled up the baby tub inside of the bathtub. He set up his phone to record her, as Tony was always pouting that he missed bathtime. Steve gently lowered her down into the shallow bath, lying her head against the back. He gently scooped water over her chest and just underneath her neck. She made fussing, whining noises, turning away from the water as much as she could. “Baby, baby,” he whispered, bringing his hand to hold one of her chubby fists. “Papa’s here, you’re safe. It’s just a bath, precious.”

He covered their softest wash in a little bit of the baby-safe soap that they had gotten for her. He gently rubbed it over her head and body, remembering to spoon handfuls of warm water over her chest to prevent her from getting cold. “So good, Papa’s so proud of you, good girl,” Steve praised. He knew that Jamie couldn’t understand him and probably wouldn’t for a year or so, but he hoped that she could tell he loved her by the tone of his voice. 

He rinsed her off with handfuls of warm water, making sure it didn’t get anywhere near her face. He stopped the recording and sent the video to Tony. He gently lifted his baby out of the water and then patted her down with the towel he had already spread out for her. “Diaper time, fussypants,” he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her belly. He got a diaper on her with relative ease, before she had another accident on the towel like she had the first time she had been bathed by her fathers.

Steve carried her back to the living room and sat down in his chair. He turned on his show, removing his shirt once again. He laid Jamie down on his chest, getting her skin-on-skin contact for the day while she slept again. 

When she woke up, his show had just ended. Steve changed her and fed her again before he brought her to the nursery so that he could dress her again. He chose the outfit and gently slid the onesie over her. Once he had finished, she was wearing a onesie that had come out just after Tony and Steve had announced their relationship to the public, so it was a combination of both of them. It had the arc reactor symbol inside of the first ring of Steve’s shield and then the rest of it was his symbol. She had green socks on with Hulk’s face and a hat that was made to look like Nat’s fiery red hair.

“Aren’t you just the cutest thing ever?” Steve cooed, bringing his pointer finger to caress her cheek. He took a picture of her mid-yawn after setting up the Hawkeye plushie next to her. He sent the picture to the group chat with the caption: Fan of the team already.

He laid her down for her nap and turned the baby monitor on as he went to finish up his chores. He still wasn’t recovered enough to do a lot at once, but he managed to get things like dishes and the laundry down fairly regularly. He got a while to draw and respond to his friends and husband before the baby woke up again. He changed her and cuddled with her as they waited for Tony to come home

“How are my two favorite people?” Tony asked. He never shouted to announce his arrival back home anymore since it made Jamie cry out of surprise. He was standing in the doorway with a bag of takeout in his hands. 

“We’re doing good. Someone didn’t cry all the way through her bath!” he beamed.

“I noticed,” Tony walked over, setting the bag down on the table. He removed his tie with one motion as he pressed a kiss to Steve’s lips. He gently picked the baby up from his husband’s arms and kissed her forehead. “Hi there, sweetheart. Were you good for Papa while Daddy had to go to work?” he cooed. Tony had started hating work even more than he had before now that he knew he had a daughter at home, waiting. She responded by sneezing, which got both of her fathers laughing. 

Steve put the baby in her bouncer while they got out paper plates and spread the takeout out on the table. They talked about what their days were like as they ate, Steve pumping as well. He put the two bottles in the fridge so that they could use them later.

“Go and have some Papa time. I’ll take care of her while I finish up some paperwork and designs I came up with today,” Tony smiled. He gave Steve a small peck on the lips and let him leave. While his husband was showering, the engineer put away what little leftovers they had. 

He was sitting next to the table when Jamie began fussing. He picked her up and she immediately stopped, just wanting to be held while she napped. He ended up leaning back against the couch while sitting in front of a holographic projection on the table. He had luckily already finished up the paperwork he brought home.

Tony fed her when she woke up again, letting Steve get in the four to five hours of sleep that he needed. When the clock strung eight, he put the baby to bed and then showered himself. He was in bed by ten, pressed against his husband as they slept. One or both of them would be up when their daughter needed them. They would always be there for their baby girl.

[lottalucamotion]

Stex Appreciation Month day 31: Nit Picks and What You’d Change

*Cracks knuckles*

Alright.

Once more this will be all text and no art since this is topic is probably better covered in words.

So basically I will be breaking down Stex into the way I would direct it if this was “Luca’s Starlight Express”. Some aspects will be full on changes, though most will just be a mix and match of aspects of different shows over the years that I liked.

So let’s begin this break down.

So first off I’ll talk about what seems to be wrong with Starlight and what the trends seem to show. I of course no nothing for sure, but this is just speculation based on rumors and little tidbits of information I’ve picked up on during my time in the fandom.

It seems like the biggest flaw that the show has is the lack of care, mainly by Andrew Lloyd Webber, for the show in general. While the show is heavily credited to have been created by ALW no doubt because he’s more the household name, Stillgoe is the one who really made Starlight what it is. Lloyd Webber was just reluctantly along for the ride. He was never fully on board with the idea of making Starlight a musical, and just intended for it to be a music collection for kids. It was to the point that ALW felt the need to put a disclaimer for critics saying that he didn’t really want to make it.

Starlight was always meant to be an audience entertainer, not a critic entertainer. From the minute it was conceived as a train musical on skates, it was damned to be crucified by critics, and well, the biggest issue with where it has ended up is the lack of acceptance to just let it be what it is.

This is not to say the show hasn’t always had some flaws. Where it seems to have always lacked is the story. It relied more on the spectical of being a series of being a roller skate show with music and races rather than a musical with a complex story and characters. Don’t get me wrong, this by no means implies the characters are not likable. The main cast has a lot of likable qualities even if they’re characterizations are fairly basic. In a sense this, give a chance for the audience to interpret the characters how they want. Though on the other hand it can also make the the main characters difficult to root for since their motivations are never really made clear.

In addition to that there are of course that matters of making certain characters out to be shallow stereotypes, and the critique that there is sexism in the story. Honestly, I think the poor direction in which the “fix” for the sexism critique is due to attention being paid too much to professional theatre critics who don’t actually want to give stex the time of day so they just say the story is sexist with no further elaboration, causing the direction to go blind into whatever the hell “I Need Me/Ich bin Ich” is.

Though not everything I would apply to my ideal stex is related to story. Most of it is just things are of no real consequence, just preference for this sequence or that song.

So now that this ramble is over, let’s actually get to the real meat of the matter.

I like the transition between the introduction of the nationals and Rolling Stock rather than starting with Rolling Stock.

I have a difficult time deciding whether Engine of Love should be Rusty’s intro or Call Me Rusty. I’m leaning more toward Engine of Love simply because I like that song more. Though putting in Engine of Love means that there won’t be any Whistled at Me variation. I would be okay with that even if I do love the pop version. Forgoing the “Dream Engine” plot point altogether honestly makes creating a more compelling characterization for Rusty and Pearl easy (Pearl’s dream train is a steam engine, and Rusty’s a steam engine so it just makes no sense why she would fall for and electric and diesel when she’s specifically looking for a steam engine).

So on that note let’s talk about what plot I have in mind for Rusty and Pearl. Pearl is a young excursion car who works around a lot of vintage engines for a luxury tourist line. Rusty and Pearl have known each other for a long time and promised each other that they would run their first race together.

While other engines are more inclined to be prejudiced toward steam engines, coaches find them quite romantic. However, Rusty’s physical state and the fact that he’s a switcher engine means that the coaches not only don’t believe he is capable of racing, but also believe it’s too dangerous for him. When Pearl agreed to race, she was not aware of how dangerous racing could be for Rusty.

Basically “Make Up My Heart” rewrite where Pearl makes the point that racing with Rusty could hurt him physically but she also doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.

It makes Pearl’s motives for leaving Rusty much less likely to be read as malicious, and makes more sense for their eventual romance.

As for Rusty, I prefer the writing going more toward how Rusty was originally written, more motivated to prove himself rather than racing to win over Pearl. Rusty’s reluctance to race coming from the fact that no one believes in him rather than just being rejected by Pearl. Obviously it stings the most coming from Pearl since the two of them were the closest, but she’s not the only factor. Maybe he even has thoughts that the coaches are right and he could get hurt.

Speaking of romances, let’s talk about Greaseball and Dinah. Dinah actions are likely the biggest sexism complaint source, and I won’t really deny that criticism. I get that we want everyone to get a happy ending at the end because that’s just the nature of this musical, it’s supposed to be light hearted and all. So if Greaseball and Dinah have to get together again, some justification should be given there, like implications that Greaseball and Dinah’s relationship beforehand is good and worth keeping even if just through the actors’ body language (like maybe Greaseball acting a bit more lovey-dovey toward Dinah in Pumping Iron rather than just having him treat her like all of the other coaches). Greaseball can still be a general asshole without being mean to Dinah. They can still have an argument about Greaseball’s cheating, but instead of having Dinah immediately backpedal to try to beg him out of leaving her, it should be an agreed action, where Dinah willingly leaves Greaseball as well as him leaving her. 

Greaseball should also at one point show some sign of remorse, maybe he notices her in U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D., watches her, thinks about it for a bit after she leaves, but shakes it off for the time being since he has a race to focus on.

Back on the subject of songs, for Lotta Locomotion, I’d love to see it with more subtle lyrics like “A Lotta Locomotion” but slap hard like “A Whole Lotta Locomotion”.

Bring back the original coaches. Yeah maybe Ashley is “outdated” and not PC but this is coming from the same people who put the confederate flag on the diesel gang and named the British Engine Brexit. I can’t fathom why they got rid of Buffy too?

I like all versions of ACDC and think what version would be best depends a lot on the voice of who’s playing Electra.

Red Caboose toaster hat edition - no Canoose. Also Killerwatt has no rights, I’d bring back the original components.

I actually really like the newer versions of the Rockies, I just don’t like the new Right Place Right time, the original version was the best in my opinion.

Even though I would include Caboose, I do like how Flat Top was given a more prominent story role without him, and would kind of like to emulate that.

Dustin should also be given more fleshing out in the first act, for example, having him sing “There’s Me”. While on one hand, having Caboose sing There’s Me gives more ways to think about his character, it just makes sense to give that comforting role to someone like Dustin (plus Dinah and Dustin being friends would just be the cutest shit ever).

Go back to the “Hey you” version of the Rap, none of this train Tinder bullshit we have now.

I usually hate the love songs in Stex but “I Do” is one of my favorite of all stex songs so that can stay as is.

Lastly,

Bring back No Comeback.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-7th Place

>Insert long exaggerated sigh here<

It’s here that I really, really, REALLY hope nobody that I know personally is reading these.

(Also, sorry that this was a day late)

#7-My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (2010-2019)

The Plot: In the land of Equestria, a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle moves to a happy little town called Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. There, she meets her best friends Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. Together they’ll do what most friends do. Which is to sing songs, defeat creatures who seek to destroy everything, and learn that friendship truly is magic.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. Hell, I knew what you were thinking before I even explained the plot: “Isn’t this just a show for little girls that twenty-year-old losers fell in love with? How is this in the top 10?!” Now I’ll be the first to admit, there was a time when I didn’t get it either. When I heard that a fanbase grew around a My Little Pony reboot, I thought people were losing their minds. But, on one fateful day in 2014, my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to watch ONE episode that seemed interesting to me. Unfortunately, it was the first episode in season two, and I had no idea what was going on within the first few minutes. So then I decided to watch the entirety of season one and then ONLY watch that episode in season two. And the episode after that because apparently, it was a two-parter. And then I watched the next episode after THAT because it also seemed interesting to me, plus the episode after that, for no reason other than I just wanted to. And then I watched all the rest of the series until the season four finale. And the two spin-off movies called Equestria Girls and Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks. Soon, I found myself reading fan-fiction, writing fan-fiction, looking at fanart, and even reading these spin-off comics that aren’t even canon, but I just couldn’t leave this magical world because it TOOK ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR FOR THE FIFTH SEASON TO PREMIER! ALL BECAUSE I JUST WANTED TO WATCH AN EPISODE WHERE A CHAOS CREATURE MENTALLY BROKE OUR MANE CHARACTERS! AND YES! I DID WRITE MANE INSTEAD OF MAIN BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS SHOW DOES TO YOU! IT MAKES YOU SO ACCUSTOMED TO THE WRITING AND LINGO, THAT’S WITHIN BOTH THE SHOW AND IT’S INSANE FANDOM, THAT YOU’LL END UP CATCHING YOURSELF FROM SAYING MANEHATTAN INSTEAD OF MANHATTAN!

>SCREAMS WITH INSANITY<

…

So as you can tell, this show is surprisingly good once you get infested.

The biggest hook it has is the animation. While it doesn’t beat The Amazing World of Gumball’s quality, it is pretty impressive when considering that it’s all done in flash animation. Most flash animated cartoons tend to look cheap and slow, and Friendship is Magic is thankfully one of the rare exceptions. The movements are insanely smooth, and the facial expressions are pretty comical to look at. Even in the background of scenes, viewers will notice a lot of little jokes the animators put in. Seriously, the biggest reason why I kept watching the series for so long was that it was nice to look at (which is the case for most people, from what I’ve heard). And the best part? The animation somehow gets better with each passing season. And only 0.1% of the time does it show it’s cheapness, which isn’t that big of a deal considering there are two hundred and thirty-two episodes with a twenty-two-minute runtime. That’s nearly five thousand, one hundred, and four hours of animation that’s good for 99.9% of the time. While you could argue that it’s not the best, it is still pretty good animation quality.

Another thing that drew me in was the comedy. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean Friendship is Magic is the funniest show on the list (that also goes to Gumball). Humor is subjective, and just because I found myself laughing with this series, that doesn’t mean everyone will be on the same page. That being said, I was surprised by the fact that I found the show funny in the first place. It’s hard to pinpoint what type of humor the show relies on (for me, at least). For some cases, Friendship is Magic has dialogue-based jokes that use smart or random lines to get a laugh out of audiences. Other times it's visual humor that requires slapstick or comical facial expressions that will make people laugh. But while its comedy falls between two different spectrums, that doesn’t change the fact that I find myself losing it every once in a while. Even during some of the worst episodes of Friendship is Magic, there’s at least one line or gag that got me to chuckle at least once.

However, both the animation and the comedy cannot top the main selling point of this series: The characters. Friendship is Magic might just have one of the biggest cast of characters out of any show on this list. Most of them manage to be funny, relatable, and are downright likable to watch. What’s even more astonishing is how well this show handles character growth. To be fair, there can be certain characters whose development is slow, but for the most part, everybody grows significantly with each new lesson they’ve learned. There are even moments when the characters say something along the lines of “I’m no longer that pony I used to be anymore because I finally learned how to change.” However, this doesn’t mean that every pony in the show is worth the time. There are a few unlikeable characters, but they’re either meant to be unlikable, forgotten after an episode’s end, or are redeemed after a triumphant return.

This is good because it’s the characters that make the stories in the show work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is split into two different storytelling genres: Slice of life comedy and adventure fantasy. And unlike Steven Universe, it’s Friendship is Magic that mixes both these genres together perfectly. I’m not joking when I say that an episode where Twilight rekindles an old friendship can be just as intriguing as an episode where Twilight fights this soul-sucking centaur made to look like the devil. Hell, some fans even argue that the slice of life episodes are even better than the adventurous episodes. Because while the adventure episodes are cool and action-packed, it’s the slice of life episodes where the characters are allowed to grow the most and are actually given time to be themselves. As for the grand adventures, while their fun to see, the cast is forced to stick to their central personality traits to move the plot forward.

Unfortunately, as fun as this show can be, I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it. Not because there are elements that I think are bad, but because there are elements that might turn people away from watching. And the most significant repulse this show has is also the most important hook.

Yes, the characters in this show are great, but there’s also a lot of them. Some might even say too many. By season nine alone, there are a total of twenty-seven different characters that have the possibility of taking/sharing the spotlight in an episode. And that’s not even counting important figures, recurring antagonists, supporting characters, and even recognizable background ponies (yes, that’s a thing). Because if you want to add those to the mix, you’ve got yourself a total of one hundred and twenty-seven characters (give or take). That is one hundred and twenty-seven different names, faces, and personalities to try to keep track of. Luckily the personalities are easy enough to remember, and it’s mostly the most (in)famous figures that make a return. Even for some of the obscure characters, the show is kind enough to give a brief recap so the audience can get caught up. However, this is reasonably a lot to take in for a casual viewer. Case in point, in season eight, the show decided to add six new characters to the main cast, and it only took me a season and a half to learn their names correctly. It’s even worse since these “new” characters can sometimes feel like carbon copies of the Mane Six (Yes, that’s how the main six characters in the show are referred to as. Deal with it).

And the excessive amount of unnecessary characters are just one issue to deal with. The lessons that the show teaches are another. Before I say anything, I want to clarify that this show has fantastic lessons it teaches kids. In fact, there are even great lessons that are perfect for adults and only adults (know your audience, I guess). However, here’s the thing about morals: Not everyone will share the same view on what’s good and bad to teach children. Every person on this planet has their own life experiences, and with those experiences come different ideas of how the world works. One person can believe that a lesson is good, where others view it as awful and potentially dangerous. Things get especially bad when specific morals are misinterpreted or taken too literally. The best example is the episode “Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep.” I believe that there are two possible lessons within the episode. One is that to truly be forgiven, a person must seek forgiveness from themselves and others. The other conceivable moral is that the cure for self-destruction is to get over it and move on without any professional help whatsoever. Now, take a wild guess on which lesson gets talked about more. And in all honesty, I blame poor/rushed writing that causes specific morals to be muddled, as well as a person’s own life experience in whether or not you find an episode’s lesson to be intriguing or insulting.

Another thing that depends on one’s own personality is (kinda spoilers ahead) how this show handles reformations. I may have commented on how Steven Universe uses redemption poorly, but it’s even worse in Friendship is Magic. This show seems to have the idea that the transition from bad to good is as simple as flipping a light switch. Now, on the one hand, this is not something I should be mad about. The show’s title is Friendship is Magic. So, of course, the series would push that making friends will lead to peace and prosperity. Where making enemies will lead to war and violence. The problem is that from a storytelling standpoint, it isn’t that entertaining. Or, at the very least, not as much as it should be. The art of a good reformation is taking the time for the transition to be believable. Characters suddenly deciding to become good seemingly out of nowhere will do nothing but have audiences rip their hair out of frustration. It doesn’t help that most of the villain’s reasoning and backstories are pretty pathetic when they actually should be sympathetic. However, while the reformation itself can be frustrating, I personally think some characters are made more intriguing post redemption. Don’t get me wrong, these villains were great as they were, being the perfect mix of both funny and terrifying. But when the show actually allows characters to grow and deserve the hand-er-hoof of friendship, they begin to have more fascinating personalities to dissect. Now, not everyone is going to feel this way. And if you genuinely believe these villains were better as villains, I can absolutely see why. But for me, I’ve come to enjoy how far these ex-cons have come from their more evil days. 

But none of this compares to the final controversial element that this show has to offer, where there is a fifty/fifty chance that you’re either going to love it or hate it. I, of course, am talking about...the songs. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has four different types of songs. Depending on the episode, these musical numbers have many purposes. They can move the story forward, only work within the episode’s context, try to one-up Disney, and reveal everything you need to know about a character. Now here’s the thing about the music: I don’t hate it. I’ll admit that the lyrics are pretty lackluster most of the time, but at least most of them sound pleasing to my ears. But I have heard how some people seem to hate these little numbers, and I’m willing to put money on that fans even skip them. Everybody has their own tastes in music, and there’s nothing I can do to convince them otherwise. Only respect their opinions and hope they do the same to mine.

In the end, your enjoyment of this series, once again, depends on who you are. Some of you might think this is a dumb kid's show that should only be viewed by children. Some of you will understand that this show has great characters, comedy, and animation, but you just don’t think it’s for you. And some of you might be like me. A person overwhelmed with curiosity over the weirdest phenomenon in the last eleven years and ended up being pleasantly surprised with how magical the show turned out to be.

(And just a heads up, you don’t have to watch the Equestria Girls spin off series or movies in order to enjoy Friendship is Magic. EG isn’t technically canon, and the only noteworthy thing that makes it worthwhile is Sunset Shimmer. And while I personally don’t hate it, I completely understand how others will. But you do need to see My Little Pony: The Movie (2017), though. It surprisingly plays a big part in season 8 and beyond.)

[callioope]

I’ve been vague about what has been going on in my life intentionally, both because I needed to tell some people offline first and because it’s a lot to process. 

But here is what happened: I am in the process of miscarrying.

I thought it might help to share my story. Miscarriage is more common than people realize and rarely talked about. If someone can benefit from my story, all the better, but mostly this is to help my grieving and coping process.

This is pretty detailed, so trigger warnings and all that.

Exactly one month ago, I read the results I had longed for: pregnant.

Today, I’m sprawled out on the couch in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced. 

They don’t tell you that miscarriage is a process.

We’ve been trying to conceive since the end of last June. It was taking so long, I was convinced I’d be scheduling a fertility consultation this coming June. They tell you if you’re under 35, to give it a year. Before we started trying to conceive, I’d tell anyone about how time speeds up the older you get. It makes sense logically, of course, when a year is 1/5 of your life, it sure seems long, but went its 1/32, well... 

But this has been the longest eleven months of my life. The first month we started trying, I had an unusually long cycle. 39 days. I was so sure I was pregnant. My breasts had been hurting for two weeks. Husband and I were vacationing in Minnesota to see Aston Villa play. I bought a pregnancy test, beaming, excited, and was puzzled by the negative result. A week later, when my period came, I cried to my mother, and she said something about the universe saying I wasn’t ready or something. Whatever it was sounded bleak and ominous to my ears. It sounded like it meant I’d never be ready. 

The fall was busy and stressful, and despite all the tedious ovulation test strips, nothing happened except somehow, my period got lighter month by month. I was pretty sure something was wrong with me. I thought I had a UTI. (I was actually stressed and dehydrated, which I eventually remedied.) While I cried at a Sara Bareilles concert in November, my mother told me that her OBGYN said it can take as much at 9 months for the body to recalibrate after being on the pill.

Speaking of which. I’ve been taking the pill for over a decade. For the most part, I took it correctly. There is some leeway to taking it incorrectly, for the record. You can miss two pills in a row and it still has instructions for what to do (while cautioning to be safe and use extra protection). Maybe only once did I ever have to throw out a pack for missing too many in a row. 

(This is maybe neither here nor there, but rebelcaptain accidental pregnancy fics have become a bit of a pet peeve for me. Jyn and Cassian are far too careful and intentional to let that happen, and it is so easy to be responsible since there are so many birth control alternatives these days that don’t even require reliance on routine or memory.)

So, of course, the concern lately is that clearly 10+  years on birth control has messed me up. I do not know this objectively (what I do know is that I have OCD and anxiety and obsess over Everything That Can Go Wrong), but the point is that birth control really can have consequences that I don’t think are necessarily fully understood or studied. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, USE BIRTH CONTROL. My only regret is what I didn’t know.

I learned too late, but a lot of conception advice articles tell you to quit the BC as soon as possible. Even if my mom’s OBGYN is wrong, the general advice does seem to be that it can take up to 3 months for your body to recalibrate. So, if by any chance someone reading this is thinking about conceiving soon, if you take nothing else away from this rant, take this. I wish I had stopped taking the pill a few months before we actually intended to start trying.

After ten months of all this worrying, I finally got what I’d longed for. The moment I saw that positive result, it felt so surreal. There had been little things leading up to that moment, strange hints and signs, like I knew subconsciously even before a test would have been positive. I wrote that Howl’s Moving Castle pregnancy fic before I knew. I started learning “Here Comes the Sun” on my ukulele before I knew (it’s... silly, but I decided I wanted to learn the ukulele because I wanted to be able to play that song for my kids some day). It involves finger picking, so I’d been putting off learning it, but one day I just decided it was time. And finally, I decided to watch the latest season of Brooklyn 99. I’d avoided it because I knew Amy & Jake were also trying to conceive, and it was too emotional for me to watch that when I was so frustrated for how long I was taking. (Of course I didn’t realize they also had trouble, and watching it actually felt cathartic for me.) I got that positive result literally the next morning. 

I spent Monday, April 20, making checklists and spreadsheets. I set my first prenatal appointment for May 8. Those two and a half weeks were the slowest of my life. They stretched out like a rubber band. I couldn’t really focus on anything except this pregnancy I’d waited so long for. That’s probably why time moved so slowly. I wasn’t filling it with the hobbies I enjoyed, writing and playing my ukulele. All my overwhelmed brain could handle was the hilarious distraction of Community. Yeah, this is also around the time I disappeared from fandom. It was originally for a happy reason, I was just too excited to focus!

I know many women who have miscarried. The data seems to vary from source to source, but anywhere between 10% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I couldn’t wait to get to the doctor to confirm everything was okay. I wondered if they would do an ultrasound; I dreamed of seeing a fetus on that screen.

We started talking about how we were going to tell our family. We wrote a pretend promotion letter for my sister, promoting her from “sister” to “aunt” (she’s a badass at her job and we had recently been talking about her promotions so it was thematically relevant). We planned to do a video call with my parents where we played Quiplash and created custom answers related to the pregnancy. 

But we never got that chance. On May 8, I went in for my first appointment. I’d spent the last three days sewing a mask because the ones we ordered still haven’t arrived yet. So all the time I would have spent preparing myself for the worst (as is my way) was spent instead distracted by sewing and finishing up Community. 

They took me to an office first and went over medical history questions. “Any morning sickness?” the nurse asked. “Not at all,” I said. “Should I be worried?” “No,” she answered. “Consider yourself lucky!” 

(For the record, many women who carry to term do not ever get morning sickness.)

(It was just one of those unfortunate exchanges.)

Then the exam with the doctor. All in all, it’d probably been 30 or 40 minutes by this point, all of this excited talk. I was going to tell my parents on Mother’s Day. My due date was Christmas.

I video call my husband just in time for the ultrasound. 

There was no embryo. 

The doctor said a lot of women are ovulating later in their cycles due to the stress of the pandemic. At the time, I thought maybe. Hope is funny like that, in the face of logic. It started to grow like a weed in the cracks of my breaking heart. 

But the thing is, even with that stubborn hopeweed, I knew. I’d been doing this for ten months. I knew when my last period was, I knew when I ovulated. I was 7 weeks and 1 day, and there was no embryo, and that was it.

The beginning of the process of miscarriage. 

Technically, it’d started a few days before that appointment, but I was distracted at that time. I’d noticed one morning that there seemed to be more hair in the shower floor than there should be. 

Dots started to connect. My breasts had stopped aching. Now, they started to shrink back to their original size. 

This happened over several days. I felt certain I would miscarry on Mother’s Day; fortunately, that did not happen. No, enough days had to pass for that hopeweed to prosper. Only then, when it whispered maybe would I start spotting and cramping. 

On Tuesday, the second ultrasound confirmed what I already knew. Not viable. Missed miscarriage. Technically, the prescription the doctor hands me reads “missed abortion.” “It’s just the technical term,” the doctor explains, acknowledging that many women might find this triggering. 

I don’t cry as much as I did. I only cry when I tell people. It seems important for people to know, just in case. Just one person in the relevant circles of my life. I had to tell my boss to explain the sudden uptick in unexpected doctor appointments. (I’m Rh negative, so I needed to go to the hospital to get bloodwork and a Rhogam shot -- and being in a hospital these days in anxiety-inducing enough without this trauma.)

It still feels surreal. All of this happened in one month. Somehow my life has changed completely and then reverted back. This is just a blip in my life, relatively, and yet it seems the longest month of my life.

In movies, in stories, miscarriage seems to go the same way: a flash of bloody sheets, a shout of shock and pain, and then grief. I never knew how it really goes: that it would stretch out for weeks, from the moment I saw that first ultrasound to now, twelve days later, just starting to bleed. I’ll have to go back for another ultrasound to confirm it’s done, and if it’s not, then I’ll need surgery. 

This speaks nothing of the grief. 

And then it’s back to square one, a whole year later: ovulation tests and endless waiting. 

It’s been a whole month; it’s been only a month, and miscarriage is a process. 

[tonotbelionized]

Different Partners in Team RWBY

So I was actually writing another discussion post before my sister asked me a thought provoking question.

What would be different if Team RWBY had different partners to canon?

I’m going to honest, I thought that not much would given that they’re all good friends in canon, and surely having different partners wouldn’t change that. But after some thought and talking it through, I’ve come to realise that, yeah, there’d be some difference to their dynamics if their partners were different, especially at the beginning of their journey.

The main reason is that some members of Team RWBY barely interact with each other. The most egregious example is Ruby and Blake, who’s one-on-one interactions I can count on one hand. Given that six volumes have passed, this isn’t a good thing. But that’s not the point of the post, so let’s see how things would change in my opinion if RWBY had different partners.

Partners #1: Yang & Ruby

The best thing about this pairing is that it’s already been talked about in the canon material. Ruby wanted to partner up with Yang because Yang’s the only person she knows positively in her short time at Beacon, and as she’s socially awkward Ruby likely finds the prospect of pairing up with someone else daunting, something that she doesn’t want to entertain.

But Yang already points out the disadvantage of Ruby pairing up with her. If she continued to latch onto her sister,Ruby wouldn’t have been pushed into the situation where she had to interact with other people. Replace Weiss with Yang and the whole arguments that happened between Weiss and Ruby would never happen, including the scene where they start to move past it because of Weiss saving her partner from the Deathstalker.

That’s not to say Weiss still wouldn’t save Ruby from the Deathstalker. Just because Yang is Ruby’s partner doesn’t change the fact that she is unable to reach her sister in time, but there’s no conflict between them beforehand due to Weiss and Ruby not spending that time together. This would be the first time they see each other since their arguments in Beacon, and having to save Ruby after she rushed into battle likely wouldn’t make Weiss’ view of her any better.

That being said, with Ruby still being made leader and following behaviour deemed unworthy to Weiss, they would still have that moment where Weiss tells Ruby that Ozpin made a mistake and that she did nothing to earn the title of leader. Both Ruby’s talk with Ozpin and Weiss’ talk with Port would happen, and the two would grow closer even if they weren’t partners, due to being on the same team. 

It’s pretty similar to Weiss’ and Blake’s relationship in canon. despite not being partners, Weiss works hard to let Blake know that she can rely on her and the team due to all of them making up Team RWBY. Yang’s partnership with Ruby wouldn’t change that, and after the difference in the beginning, it’s likely that Ruby’s friendships with Blake and Weiss wouldn’t change much from canon.

Partners #2: Blake & Weiss

To be honest, I think Blake and Weiss being partners would change quite a lot with their dynamic in the beginning of RWBY. Given their little interaction before the Emerald Forest plot line, Blake obviously has no love for Weiss or what she represents to her; the SDC, and isn’t afraid to call Weiss out for any small contrivances. 

Now, I’m not saying Ruby was a pushover, especially given that she was shown to stand up to Weiss as well, but Blake’s little love for the Schnee name and Weiss’ poor attitude would certainly hinder any progress that they make in the forest more than Weiss and Ruby. It’s likely Blake would’ve gotten in more sly jabs at the SDC and Atlas as a whole, and wouldn’t have opened up like she was beginning to do so with Yang.

After the forest and integration into Team RWBY, the whole revelation of Blake’s Faunus heritage and her previous affiliation to the White Fang, I’d think that Weiss would take it even more poorly. In canon they were on the same team and were expected to work together with Ruby and Yang, but they weren’t partners, and didn’t have any time previously (on-screen) where it was more one-on-one teamwork. As Ozpin said, their partner is someone they would be working with for their four years in Beacon, and Blake was hiding a pretty big secret that had impacted Weiss personally before.

That’s also to add that Weiss had a very poor attitude about the Faunus and the White Fang as well. In this partnership, Blake could be even more angered given that Weiss is the one she’s meant to work together with, and yet she has this bigoted attitude about her own people. The whole scene at the end of Volume 1 would’ve been the culmination of these flaws and hold more weight. It definitely did in canon, showing that outside of their respective partners, the girls did obviously care about each other, but in this instance it would end the story with two girls from very different and conflicting backstories overcoming these problems and growing closer as friends and partners.

That being said, after Volume 1, there really wouldn’t be that much difference in their dynamic. Blake would still run away and Weiss had grown into a more understanding and empathetic because of her time with Team RWBY, so their reunion wouldn’t change much from canon. Chances are her talk with Yang would differ slightly to accommodate this change in relationship between her and Blake as compared to their canonical relationship.

Partners #3: Ruby & Blake

Given just how little one-on-one screen time these two get, a partnership between Ruby and Blake would add more dynamic overall to their friendship with the additional screen time. 

Given how aloof and somewhat standoffish Blake was around other people in the beginning, it’s almost certain this behaviour would carry on throughout their first mission together in the Emerald Forest, especially since it was Yang’s sunny and warm demeanor that got anything out of Blake with their canon interactions in the forest. Going off Ruby’s social awkwardness, it’s likely their interactions would be more stiff and, well, awkward.

However, there would be moments of breaking down Blake’s walls there. The main turning point of Blake opening up at all was Ruby’s connection with her over something that they mutually enjoyed; books. This was before Yang and Blake’s interactions with just each other, and it’s pretty telling that Yang was unable to get anything out of Blake the night at Beacon, even going as far as deeming Blake a lost cause and willing to go back to bed before Ruby asked about her book.

Going off that introduction to their characters and how they work together, it seemed that Blake was pretty willing to entertain Ruby’s optimism and goal of becoming a Huntress so that she can protect people, like the heroes in her stories, and even called them “pretty ambitious for a child” before explaining her own viewpoint on the matter. It shows that Blake doesn’t look down on Ruby like Weiss did, and she doesn’t have that sibling relationship like Yang does. It’d be pretty conceivable that this level of maturity would carry on all the way to them forming Team RWBY, and their surprisingly in-depth conversations would continue with the time they spend together.

Given that Blake is certainly more level-headed at this point than Weiss, including in the heat of battle, I’d think that Blake wouldn’t underestimate Ruby’s capabilities, and so wouldn’t install this need in Ruby to prove that she’s deserving of her place in Beacon. Any tendency to rush into battle on Ruby’s part wouldn’t be met with biting rebuttal or arguing like with Weiss, and I think at this point Blake would’ve been a good partner to mature and push Ruby to reevaluate her own flaws given that Blake doesn’t hesitate to call people out when they deserve it.

Outside of that, partnering Blake and Ruby up might even bring their relationship closer. In canon Ruby obviously cares deeply about Blake; she was upset to hear that she left at the end of Volume 3, she welcomed Blake back without hesitation in Volume 5, and Blake being in danger in Volume 6 caused Ruby to activate her silver eyes. If they were pushed together instead of Yang and Blake, it could’ve given Ruby more of a chance to develop and talk about herself.

One scene in mind is when Blake refuses to go to the dance in Volume 2 because she’s too busy worrying about the White Fang. The scene could go either way honestly:

A: Yang still takes it upon herself to help Blake break through this obsession, opening up about her mother leaving her.

B. As her partner and leader, Ruby would feel more confident in talking to Blake herself and go seek her teammate out. This could give us some forbidden Summer lore as well as looking into Ruby’s feelings over her mother’s death, something that even nearly seven volumes in, we know nothing about save for one song Red like Rose part 2.

Either way, the main positive of this pairing is just the extra time these two desperately need to talk to just each other, not when they with the others in their team. 

Partners #4: Yang & Weiss

(Note: I picked this picture just because it was really funny and I had to lmao)

Similar to Ruby and Yang, this pairing would only really affect Yang and Weiss at the beginning, and they have the advantage over Ruby and Blake with having more screen time and plot important moments together in canon.

Playing off Yang’s character before her dismemberment by Adam, the main source of conflict between these two would be just how differently Weiss and Yang treat fighting. Yang is the happy go lucky boxer who treated her fight with the Ursa in the Emerald Forest as some sort of game that she didn’t have to take seriously, whereas Weiss is practical and goes over the steps to her fighting style down to the letter. 

This attitude of play vs work would make Weiss butt heads with Yang, though given her pretty playful nature and teasing attitude, I wouldn’t suspect Yang would hold it against Weiss unless some buttons were pushed, such as when we saw Yang start to lose her temper with Weiss while she and Ruby were arguing the night before the exam. This conflict wouldn’t be resolved until after Weiss’ talk with Port, pushing her to learn to move on from her entitled attitude and build up her teamwork skills.

Nothing would change much after that, until the end of Volume 3 where Weiss is taken away by her father. Going off their partnership and Yang likely growing closer to Weiss like she did with Blake in canon, this loss would hurt Yang deeply and would be something they talked about when they reunited in Volume 5. However, unlike Yang’s clear anger towards Blake for running away, I doubt she’d be very angry with Weiss leaving due to the fact that it wasn’t Weiss’ choice to leave.

Yang’s abandonment issues seem to not take in whether someone leaving her was willingly or not, given her attitude that Summer left her even though she died and Yang appearing to lump unwilling abandonment (Summer) with willing abandonment (Raven and Blake). The talk with her and Weiss could include this difference, and the whole scene would definitely read differently with this pairing compared to Blake and Yang’s canonical partnership.

That’s all there is to the subject honestly. While there would definitely be change in the beginning and in some of the scenes later in the volumes, there wouldn’t be any giant difference to the girls’ relationships with each other or how they grew as characters themselves. Afterall, all of Team RWBY clearly love each other and cherish their friendships, and getting different partners would not diminish that love between them.

Either way, thanks for reading and leave what you think would change, or if you believe that I’ve missed something out as well! 

[eldritchsurveys]

641.

Would you convert to a different religion if your fiancé/fiancée was of a different faith? >> Fortunately, this was never an issue. Even if she did have a religion, there’s no obligation for me to share it. I tend to be the one interested in religions (although the jury’s still out on whether I’d ever actually feel comfortable adopting one).

The world is ending, and you can save one group of five people: who would be the five people that you save? >> First of all, if the “world is ending”, then I do not want to be stuck as one of the six humans left to deal with the aftermath and trying to survive in an inhospitable landscape. Also, this is just way too implausible a situation for me to take seriously.

Is happiness a delusion? Is happiness only real when shared? Why or why not? >>The idealisation of happiness is a bit delusional, I guess, but it’s a shared, social delusion -- just look at all the “wellness” “self-help” “self-care [the “buy this thing” kind, not the real, practical kind]” nonsense being peddled to us on a daily basis. Any feeling that is not happy-cheery forced positivity is aberrant and pathological and has to be “fixed”. That’s not a healthy way to think, and I hate that we’re all made to feel that way about perfectly normal ass emotions. I don’t know if happiness is only real when shared. I’ve always had someone(s) Inworld to share my happinesses (and everything else) with, so I can’t speak as to what it’d be like if I didn’t.

What would the cover of your biography (presumably written by somebody else who never knew you, postmortem) look like? >> I... really have no idea.

Write about a really good or creative Tumblr URL that you see frequently on your dashboard. >> inflagrante-delicatessen is a funny one.

If swear words were not things like “shit” and “fuck” what would they be otherwise? >> That’s, like, impossible for me to predict.

Write a very vivid description of what is/would have been your most perfect way to lose your virginity. What is your exact definition of ‘losing your virginity’? Also: will you/would you have liked to save your virginity for marriage? Why or why not? >> I don’t really care about this, you know? It’s not like if my first experience was earth-shattering, it would have somehow made up for all the horrible experiences I had later. I don’t have a definition for “losing one’s virginity” because that’s not a phrase I like to use. I don’t like making a point of dividing people’s experiences into “before sex” and “after sex” to begin with, but also, just focusing on a certain kind of sexual act as a “goal” to reach or whatever is... kind of weird to me. The whole shit is just weird the more I think about it.

Write a six-word fortune cookie. >> I’d rather not.

Why do you think eyebrows exist? >> I don’t have a hypothesis about this, but I’m sure there’s some educated theories out there if I was ever curious (right now, I am not).

If you could only have one contact on your phone, who would it be? >> Sparrow is the only person whose phone number I actually use on a regular basis, so, her.

Your bucket list is limited to three items. >> I don’t have a bucket list, period.

Do you wake up first or do you open your eyes first? >> I assume that I wake up first, and then open my eyes? But maybe it’s the other way around, what do I know.

Write a love/thank you/appreciation letter to someone you take for granted. >> No.

What makes you feel infinitely sexy? >> Can Calah makes me feel sexy. King Crimson makes me feel sexy. Sexiness isn’t something I feel outworld.

Make a video and talk about something for two minutes. Anything. And don’t edit out any parts of it. >> Uh, no.

Write a poem you’d stick on a refrigerator. >> Also no.

Are you afraid of aging? Why? >> I’m not afraid of ageing. I actually look forward to seeing what the rest of my life will bring, especially internally. What I am afraid of is infirmity, degenerative illness, that sort of thing. I’m afraid of losing my personal quality of life. (I know there’s a lot to unpack in regarding one’s quality of life as diminished if one develops a physical disability or something, because people live full lives with those things all the time. But I cannot predict how a change of that magnitude would affect me, personally, and I worry that I will not be able to adapt.)

Describe one time you basically thought you were the shit, when your self-confidence was soaring through the roof. This is meant to be a positive thing. >> Hm. I can’t remember a time like that right now.

If there was one person you could get drunk with and kiss and then later blame it on alcohol, who would it be? >> I would not do that.

Does perfection exist? If the word perfection did not exist, what word would be in its place? What would perfection mean instead? >> I guess the concept exists, at least. I don’t know if it’s something I can measure and perceive.

The next book you see that has over 300 pages, open up to page 136. Find a sentence you like, copy it down, and then write about it. >> I don’t feel like getting up to grab a book.

Who makes you laugh the most? >> ---

What is one thing that you are proud of, that you think lacks praise/lacks appreciation from the people around you? It could be a simple thing; it could be a secret thing. >> I don’t really seek appreciation from the people around me, so I don’t know.

If you could accuse somebody of being fake/a bitch and not suffer any repercussions, who would you accuse, and how would you do it? >> I’d really rather not. What even would be the point?

What is the funniest one-liner Tumblr text post you’ve ever read? >> Dude, there are so many funny ass posts on this website. I collect them at @officialaynrand.

Rewrite a verse of lyrics from your favorite song. They have to sound good when you sing it out loud along to tune of the song. >> Nope. But I will say that my brain insists on hearing the “heavy metal broke my [heart]” line in Fall Out Boy’s Centuries as “heavy metal Pokémon” and even though I know the lyrics I still sing it like that because it just kills me every time.

If the SATs/grades did not exist, in what way should colleges/teachers evaluate applicants? >> I have no suggestions.

Do you feel at home in your home? Is home a place for you? A book? A thing? A person? What would you want your home to be? >> I feel at home in Xibalba. I feel at home in my room here in the apartment, too. But I guess I’d feel equally at home in any place as long as I have a room of my own, a controlled environment that belongs solely to me.

Write your own eulogy. >> “Mordred Shadow Lastname wishes to inform us, the gathered, that it is just as surprised by this turn of events as we are. Except it actually isn’t surprised, or anything else, because It’s too busy being dead. Surprisingly. The unbelievably-deceased would like to request that if someone asks how it died, it will haunt whoever dares to say something stupid like ‘natural causes’. Make up a good story or pass the mic to someone who will.” Dunno what else I’d put in a eulogy about myself. That’s not really for me to write, anyway. Funerals are for the living, they can write the damn thing.

What is something you felt like you deserved or should have belonged to you, but you never got? >> There is nothing I feel that way about.

Do you feel ‘connected to nature’? Do you frequent outside? Do you believe that a connection with the earth we live on is necessary in the first place? >> I mean... I love to be outdoors, but I also love to be in a server room. I feel the same sense of awe and connection in both settings. For me, there is no real difference between the organic states and the transmuted states of matter. It’s all matter, innit? I don’t believe that feeling connected to Earth is necessary. I believe it’s healthy, sure, and common, but I don’t believe it’s unhealthy to not have that connection, or to feel connected to something else instead. It’s possible that some future generation of Homo sapiens will be born on another planet. What happens to that supposedly-innate “connection to the Earth” then? (Will they feel connected to their home planet instead? Or, something else? Or, nothing?)

Your opinion on oral sex? >> I don’t have an opinion on it, exactly. Just a preference: I prefer not to give or receive it. That’s all.

If one TV show could be real, which one would you want it to be? Which one would screw our world over? >> That is a complex question with a lot of variables and I don’t think I feel like devoting mental energy on it right now.

How many kinds of love are there? >> I… don’t know? As many kinds as people can conceive, I imagine. Or maybe it’s all just one kind, with different expressions. *shrug*???

Which word needs to exist (or be used again)? >> I mean, if I thought a word should be used again, I’d just use it. That’s literally how it works. If it’s been phased out completely enough that no one remembers it and it’s not recorded anywhere, then I can’t want it back, because I’d have to know a thing used to exist in the first place in order to want it to exist again.

What is the absolute hardest thing about staying alive? >> This pesky nag called “death” that keeps asking, “are we there yet?!” from the backseat.

What is a book that has been recognized as ‘great literature’ that you dislike? Why? >> Oh, I don’t know. The only time I ever read “Literature(tm)” was in high school, so I don’t know how I’d feel about any of it now. I'm just not really interested in it.

What is one change that you would make/have made to your life that will make/has made it better? >> *shrug*

Is everything you do for yourself? Can you truly be selfless? >> No, not everything I do is solely for myself. I do things for others as well. But I don’t like doing things for others if doing so threatens my quality of life, survival, or mental health. I don’t think it’s possible for a human being to act without a single note of self-interest. I mean... isn’t the survival instinct an instinct of self-interest?

Are you the same person you were two and a half years ago? >> I’m not the same person I was a second ago. (I also am not the same person I was about... 5 or so years ago, but that’s a... different thing.)

Can you possibly conquer the labyrinth? >> What labyrinth? Jareth the Goblin King’s? I’d try my best to conquer it if only to get to dance in the ballroom scene with him.

As a hyper intelligent pan-dimensional being, what is the answer to the ultimate question, the life, the universe and everything? What is the ultimate question? >> The ultimate question is obviously “how the fuck does CatDog poop?”

[lazuliblade]

“Figure Skating Fan” Magazine 2018-2019「羽 から生まれる」Translation

This is the interview with costume designer Satomi Ito on the construction of Yuzuru Hanyu’s Origin (and a little on Otoñal) costume featured on pages 42-43 of the February issue of フィギュアスケートファン (Figure Skating Fan) magazine released Dec. 22, 2018. 

I’m formatting this to resemble the original formatting in the magazine.

Words after a long dash ------ are the interviewer talking/asking questions.

Words in「Japanese quotation marks」are Satomi’s responses.

Where text color changes for emphasis, I’ve used bold italics.

The interviewer tends to put technical terms, concepts, and key words in “quotations”. Which means: 

When they bring up titles of literature, program names, and quoted phrases, those are in 『blocky quotes』instead. 

Anything within (parenthesis) was originally in parenthesis within the article.

[words between brackets are my translator’s notes] 

Following English conventions, I’m writing her name as Satomi Ito. For reference in Japanese: 伊藤聡美 いとうさとみ Itou Satomi The interviewer/writer is いとうやまね (Itouyamane) - a writer unit composed of Itou Miho and Yamane Seiji.

I’ve left the honorifics. They refer to Yuzuru as “Hanyu-senshu” (athlete Hanyu) throughout the entire article. -senshu is the respectful term for athletes. -san is the general honorific (Mr./Ms./Mrs.).

---------------------------------------- I agonized over capturing the ways they said certain phrases, but even so, I’m just an amateur translator, which means there are some turns of phrase I probably could have translated better. I originally wrote this all by hand, so there’s no Japanese transcription typed up, but if you’d like a specific section to see what exactly they said, send me an ask or a message and I’ll be happy to type that up. For more learning, sewing/fabric/technical terms will have a glossary at the bottom, along with various notes. 

INTERVIEW[<---the original text is actually in English, but misspelled as INTERVEW]

Costume Designer・Satomi Ito

「羽 から生まれる」Born from feathers

Here is Origin’s “temporary-stitched”[baste-stitched] costume. Black lace on a flesh-toned base, and velour pants. In costume designer Satomi Ito-san’s atelier, she let’s us see the “idea’s prototype.” Interview/text: Itou Yamane

100 feathers

-----Black and white feathers are being attached to the lace on the upper body, aren’t they! Although it’s surprising that the feathers are all handmade.

「I made all of them here. First, I cut leaf shapes with a rotary cutter, then I cut into the sides with scissors. The black is [made of] PowerNet, the white is a 2-way with a bit of thickness. Both are fabrics with elasticity. One by one, I would sew this by hand.」

-----It must be a large number of feathers isn’t it?

「I wasn’t counting, but it’s probably around 100. I don’t know the exact number of feathers that I’ve cut each and every time. I’ll feel like “it’s not quite enough, huh” so they increase. The entire weight is light, though.」

-----When I first saw what Hanyu-senshu was to wear, a structure, or should I call it a construction?, I thought “it’s like an architectural structure.” By way of intricate three dimensionality, there’s a sense of great depth.

「I’m doing that quite consciously. If you just simply put the feathers down it won’t feel very 3D, so I kind of group creases to make it feel like the feathers float. When it’s just right, I pin it.」

-----As for the white feathers, there’s also a gradation on the front side, huh.

「The appearance would be too jarring if white abruptly appears on the black fabric, so I put in a bit of airbrushing. Filling just the center part with black. Furthermore, there’s factoring in the sketch too. Whatever pattern there is. I’d try and put it on the [mannequin] torso and it’s like let’s place this feather on this area.」

-----You do the airbrushing on the styrene boards by the wall, right?

「I’ll fasten with pins. Lining up a large quantity.」

-----On these boards, numerous......starting from Hanyu-senshu, [Shoma] Uno-senshu, [Marin] Honda-senshu, [Wakaba] Higuchi-senshu, [Mai] Mihara-senshu, and others. Thinking about the airbrushing for the various costumes, I’m deeply moved. I thought “is this fine art”?

「It’s not. (laughs)」

-----The inlet-like form of the chest is wonderful isn’t it. I was impacted by the inlet being composed of black feathers.

「To start, I cut the lace on the chest area roughly, then apply the feathers there. In the middle of that process, I also cut hole shapes here and there in the lace. It’s a sense of torn holes.」

-----Also on the lace itself there’s an intricate pattern of light-and-dark, furthermore, you make light skin-tone portions. This is the secret of “depth” isn’t it.

「And I put feathers on top of that. I’m pretty interested in this technique. Of all the costumes I’ve made for Hanyu-senshu so far, this one is my favorite.」

-----The curves on the back are also technical. The detailed flow of gold is beautiful. It’s a little terrifying.

「I kind of thought it’d be nice if it looks a bit bone-y. I could do lines which run along the shoulder blades. Then in addition the crawling-like gold stones and bugle beads, and putting in purple rhinestones too.」

-----At the sketch stage, did you have an image for the white feathers? 「At first I was thinking of just black feathers. But because that didn’t really stand out, I kind of thought maybe adding in white feathers would better bring out the “sense of feathers being attached.” I’m glad I did put them in.」

-----It’s effective. The amount and arrangement are also nice.

「As for the design image, the [costume’s] flow changed a little. The result: I was correct that the feeling of ascending/rising would come out more than before. Entering production, I mostly don’t look at the design image. I won’t know the full picture not putting it on the [mannequin] torso and making it. Although because there is the initial image, there are times where I do more-or-less stick to it. That’s why the completed piece isn’t faithful to the sketch.」

The concept is from the “surname”

-----As for these costumes, for stuff like attaching feathers, or setting rhinestones, to give some examples, was there an assistant?

「For 『Origin』, the craftsmanship is brutal, so I did it all myself. For the Short [Program] 『Otoñal』 I received help.」

-----This is about the part most essential to a designer. Can we say that the design’s concept comes from Hanyu-senshu’s “surname”?

「『The nonhuman born of feathers』. All along I’ve thought I want to make a costume with that theme. This time it came true.」

-----Hanyu-senshu feels superhuman doesn’t he. He’s not an ordinary human. Shae-Lynn Bourne also said as much.

「The Hanyu name, isn’t that by itself cool? The song’s starting pose too, it has the air of spreading one’s wings. Although I knew absolutely nothing of the choreography, so having the image link pretty well was surprising.」

-----I thought you must have heard the concept for the choreography beforehand. It seems Shae-Lynn conceived it from the 『Kojiki』. Without establishing some [sort of] story and image with the choreography, the world won’t unfold, I heard.

「Design is like that too, isn’t it. With nothing, you can’t create. That is the same. Hanyu-senshu is Hanyu-senshu, so he likely has yet other different ideas.」

Each Individual 『Origin』

-----From this one piece various worlds unfold, it’s wonderful isn’t it. I as well, from the concept 『born from feathers』and the 『Kojiki』information, researched various things on birds coming from Japan’s creation myths. I also more-or-less tried reading the English version『KOJIKI』. Because I was interested in how it’s conveyed to foreigners.

「Was there something?」

-----Quite a lot of birds appear. Within those, the black Yatagarasu and the golden kite, after that I came across the egret that Yamato Takeru, on the cusp of death, metamorphosed into and flew away. I thought “this is nice,” and I wrote it in the [article] column.

「There’s a story nature to it, right? Exactly. Although, I didn’t consider it to that extent when I designed [it] (laughs).」

-----Hanyu-senshu himself likely wasn’t thinking of the『Kojiki』either. I think it’s good that the performer, creator, narrator, and fans each have their own 『Origin』. As for the design check-in, did you send the image to the person himself [Yuzuru]?

「This time, because I was able to take the time to meet personally with Hanyu-senshu, the design image and fabric were shown at the place to him himself. As for baste-stitching, it’s done when he’s in Japan at ice shows and such.」

-----What about the final fitting?

「That’s also just before he flies to the actual competition. The product delivery itself is passed on through the manager.」

-----About how long did it take to design and construct the costumes this time around?

「The ornamentation alone takes 1-2 weeks. From design to product delivery it takes about 2 months. For 『Origin』 the image solidified relatively quickly, but the Short kinda ended up taking a lot more time.」

-----The blue of the Short is pretty too, isn’t it. Rather than fall, [it’s] winter-like. The crackling line of rhinestones is characteristic.

「It’s the image of ice crystallization. And you can also see it as the tracings left by blades on the rink. He’s the champion of the ice, so I thought it would be nice if [the costume] could have that symbolization. Because he’s the young noble of the ice.」

-----We can say the fundamental [costume]order was the blue and black-gold of the tributes’ original designs from Johnny Weir-san and Plushenko-san, but could you also be making alternate versions?

「The Short and Free each have two [costumes]. The B version too is a similar feel.」

-----I’m looking forward to the day we can see those too. First off, wishing for Hanyu-senshu’s return from his injury.

(Itou Satomi) Costume designer. [After high school] enrolled in the Esmod Japon school of fashion and design. The ‘08 Kobe Fashion Contest special choice award winner, studied abroad at England’s Nottingham Trent University School of Art & Design. After her return, [while] at Chacott she came to be engaged in figure skating costumes; [has been] independent for 15 years. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Glossary/Notes:

Baste-stitching - a temporary loose stitching to hold the pieces of fabric together while the initial form and alterations are being made.

PowerNet fabric/PowerNet mesh fabric - a type of high compression 4-way stretch fabric

2-way fabric - fabric that stretches in 2 directions, meaning it has some elasticity (4-way fabric stretches in all four directions)

bugle beads - the thin tube-like beads often associated with embroidery

the title of the article 羽から生まれる“Born from feathers” or “Born of feathers” is a pun on Yuzuru’s last name: ���生 

In a previous interview, Satomi talked to Itou Yamane about her past work focusing on fashion as architectural structures, and deciding which kind of architectural design to use as a motif. Which is why the interviewer brings up “structure, or should I say construction?, architectural structure”

I translated this 王者 as “champion,” because it’s slightly different from the court title “king”王様. Satomi is giving reasoning behind her expression of ice crystallization - saying that he’s a champion (“ouja”) of the ice, then adding further: “because he’s the young noble of the ice”- which would sound a bit odd and redundant if she had just called him a “king.” 

Yamato Takeru and the egret - "isn’t it a swan?” The Japanese text is 白鳥 which normally would mean “swan”(hakuchou), but in parenthesis the interviewer clarifies the reading as “しらとり” (shiratori). It seems the white bird that’s referred to as 白鳥 in the Kojiki and Nihonshoki is considered to be referring to the bird 白鷺 (shirasagi) in modern Japanese. Here’s a site (JP only) about the myth, with pics of the shrine.

the interviewer tweeted pics too

The column that the interviewer mentions, I think they’re talking about how they wrote down the birds to mention in this interview column itself. They’ve written various pieces before for magazines and online articles, and they published a book last year called   氷上秘話―フィギュアスケート　楽曲・プログラムの知られざる世界 (secrets on the ice - knowing the world behind figure skating songs and programs). They dig up information on the music, art, design, history, and legends (basically, an entire meta book on theories and relevant links), and shed light on the actual choreography and program’s concept. So it’s possible they could be writing something else too.

I want to include photos of the full two pages, but I feel that’s probably something I shouldn’t do... so I’ll wait a while longer and then edit this post.