#anyways so... goodbye my danish sweetheart by mitski....

[qoldenskies]

ive discovered so much music looking for inspo for this fic that i might just man up and make a whole playlist for it LMAO

[fyodorsushankaaa]

HEHE HELLO!! U SEEM SO COOL FYOZAI SHIPPER OMG ILY

random hcs abt u:

likes painting

smells like cinammon

had a hasmter and criend for 4 days after he dissapeared

have or had a fyodor hating phase

UR AESTHETIC IS VKEI FOR SURE

THE BOOK I RECOMMEND U IS THE PLAGUE BY ALBERT CAMUS

AND WHATS UR FAVORITE MITSKI SONG??

ANYWAY HAVE A GOOD DAY

WAAGASVHASG THANK UU >:3 I'LL ALWAYS BE BIGGEST FYOZAI SHIPPER NO MATTER WHAT I LOVE THEM SMM

likes painting - YES YES YES DRAWING IS LITERALLY MY LIFE I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT

smells like cinnamon - i don't have an idea abt that but i love cinnamon SOOO much so i hope it's true lol-

had a hamster - unfortunately no 😭😭 i've always wanted a pet (esp a cat) but my mom has allergies (she's also scared of them) and my dad doesn't like them T-T

have or had fyodor phase - yea.. when he was first introduced in the 2th season finale i was like "gosh he's kinda hot but also looks annoying af probably i won't like him" yet he's my favorite character now.. TwT

ur aesthetic is vkei- YEEEA IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE STYLES >:3

recommended book plague - WAA I WAS PLANNING TO BUY IT NOW IM GONNA DEFINITELY BUY :D

fav mitski song- hmm it's VERY hard question tbh.. i find relatable most of her songs and can't choose only one but ig the ones i listen to most are brand new city, goodbye my danish sweetheart, i want you, francis forever (it's also the first ever song i listened by mitski so it's has a special place in my heart :3), your best american girl, old friend, why didn't you stop me, star, when memories snow, i don't like my mind, the deal and im your man

ik there are lots of songs but as i said THERE'S NO WAY I CAN CHOOSE ONLY A FEW :'3

BTW WHAT'S UR FAV SONGS BY HER?? :D

and THANK UU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO <33

[hootnhoney]

((To your “say yes to heaven” post)) I’m not even an anxicet fan and yet you somehow managed to perfectly describe them??? It’s like how both “should’ve been me” or “goodbye my danish sweetheart” by mitski fit Janus’ outlook based on your headcannon/theory

Anyways sorry for ranting it’s just your post has me now considering becoming a Virgil/Janus shipper so congrats👏👏👏👏

Post in reference (see tags)

I can go on and on about this

Thomas has stated that virgil does not like janus. Bro clearly hates him. And Virgil was scared or remus.

But neither janus or remus seem like they actually dislike virgil. Remus even seemed openly affectionate to virgil

Look at this shit >>

Virgil starts saying how remus really unsettled him:

Virgil starts explaining why:

Virgi saying he sees that remus isnt so scary:

Bro literally went from 😕 to 🥺 to 😆

Those r the expressions of someone learning that someone they like isnt scared of them anymore.

And for janus virgil is clearly hostile towards him. But when they interact janus seems sarcastic and snarky but not necessarily hostile.

So i really think Janus saw that virgil wasnt doing well with the “dark sides”. They couldnt give him what he needed to grow and improve. So he chased virgil away to the light sides. Whatever his did to accomplish this was effective enough in making virgil pissed at him but resulted in that hostility being onesided.

Virgil leaving the dark sides was janus’ intention. He knew that virgil being with the others was better for his state of mind. They could offer him comfort, coping mechanisms, and support that the dark sides just couldnt give him.

[tonariofjananda]

For the ask game: Tonari - 5, 7, and 12!

Heya Ray! Ok here goes

5) What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Honestly I’ve got a handful, most for maybe a line or two of association, but the first one that came to mind when reading this question that’s completely hers in my head was “The Moon Will Sing” by the Crane Wives. I love imagining the song as her reflecting on her dad, friends, Hayase, and Fushi, and how they’ve all contributed to the way she feels about herself and her legacy. Fun fact, the association came about from my mishearing of a line as “I shine only with the life you gave me,” the original word being “light” instead of “life.” But the more I reflected on the song, the more I felt her presence in it (I described this to my best friend as Tonari clawing her way to the surface lol), especially in the third verse. That one in particular draws a really vivid image to me of what Tonari’s headspace must have been right after Fushi pulled her away from the flames. I imagine she’s remorseful that she couldn’t give her friends a better life and is rallying to find her courage to kill them before Fushi steps in. “Instead you hoarded all that’s left of me” is a complicated little line too, filled with the bitterness and confusion at Fushi of keeping her from death. There’s not much left of her with the death of her friends, what Fushi did was selfish, but also implies Tonari didn’t realize Fushi cared if she lived or died. Then he takes the sword from her hands, “swallowing your doubt,” and she’s… grateful, angry, upset… but most of all, she acknowledges the mutual hesitance between herself and Fushi, even though they both know this is the only course of action. Even though it makes her feel like he’s taking the sword through her own body. He might as well be. The line “I want to feel the fire that you kept from me” is the most straightforward in my opinion, and what really solidified this song as being hers for me. It’s a little funny what I’ve done here tbh. The song probably meant the line as “i want to become the person you stopped me from being, I want to regain the life that was supposed to be mine,” but for this Tonari interpretation, I’ve given it the opposite implication… cough

Anyway, the chorus also kind of ties in with another song I somewhat associate with her, “Your Best American Girl” by Mitski, for the lines “Well I’m not the moon/I’m not even a star,” but I’ll spare you the analysis for that and “Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart” (also by Mitski) til… later 👀❗️

For now, I’ll leave you with the three following, lighter songs: Laufey called “Best Friend,” which I listen to as something directed towards the immortal army as a whole; “Wings,” by So!YoON! and Phum Viphruit as a song between her and Ligard and Fushi woah who said that; and “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri bc immortalism and the heartbreak of waiting to reunite with someone. Also please imagine the second verse as being from Fushi’s perspective on getting not just her but all of their friends back at the end of the past era arc with potentially rough implications for their thought process in the modern arc WHO SAID THAT

7) What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

(Lyn asked me this too so I’ll cover it here for the two of ya!)

Tbh… I just like it when anyone talks about her ówò Tonari tends to get overlooked- even tho I’d argue she’s something of a deuteragonist- so I really just love whenever people acknowledge her importance to the story and show some enthusiasm for her plotlines. In terms of stories and fan art, it’s always awesome to see all the different sides of her shine through! Tonari’s badass, bitchy, and a little judgmental, but she’s also fashionable, studious, and warm, especially toward March and Eko. It’s also nice to see the occasional silliness she used to show on Jananda shine through every now and then. She’s changed a lot by the next arc, for obvious reasons, but she was pretty silly to Hisame when she was inviting herself to dinner, I don’t think all that playfulness should just disappear! So it’s nice to see fans playing with Tonari without vilifying her ;w; Also without reducing her to her feelings for Fushi, because yeah she has some but that’s not the only thing she’s about (even tho…. I fixate a lot… on that particular subject……… cough). While I’m on the subject, I really love that most ToFu art is limited to things like gentle physical affection. A head on a shoulder (I spent hours running around my house when you sent me that pic Ray, HOURS), a meaningful hug, and touching hands- an absolute must if you like em. I’m definitely getting carried away now though…

12) What's a headcanon you have for this character?

(Limit yourself, limit yourself, limit yourself…!!!)

(Also Coop if you’re reading this, the green one is the only safe one lol)

Bisexual Tonari is an obvious one, I’m convinced she was attracted to Parona’s form (who isn’t in this show tho lmao), and I find those ship posts between Tonari and Mizuha to be so fun tbh. Enemies to lovers maybe, invited to hold hands with her and Hanna! That theory you had about Nagisa having a crush on Tonari lives in my head rent free too, absolutely canon to me. Actually the MizuNariHanna stuff would be extra funny in a world where Nagisa has a crush on Tonari bc now Mizuha’s a girl stealer too! Nagisa just can’t win!!!

Tonari loves writing! And she’s a woman in STEM! Not a headcanon just fact but it lays down the groundwork for my following headcanon: she probably went away to grad school or something. Bon asked if Tonari knew how to do surgery, implying to my insane head that she’s probably gone away for school or something, maybe even received a doctorate, but Bon doesn’t know what for. Her stitches look a bit spaced out and wonky tbh, so she probably doesn’t have the patience for things like needlepoint. I’d wager her calling probably isn’t physical art either haha.

She absolutely goes drinking with the immortal trio + Bon and maybe Gugu once she’s old enough to do so (… would Hairo drink? Designated driver Hairo Rich, but also it’d be so funny if he’s completely normal in the stupidest way while drunk. “Stands like perfectly normal but topples over the second he goes to take a step” typa drunk- BUT THIS ISNT ABOUT HIM SORRY). I think they’d love having Tonari around to pal around with! I imagine that old Jananda arc silliness comes out full force then, if her excitement at Mizuha’s birthday was anything to go off ✌️

(This one’s safe Coop!) Her hair’s been short and choppy since before she got to Jananda so I like to think she did that little kid thing where she tried cutting her own hair and it came out looking uneven. Instead of letting her parents fix it though, she just insisted it wasn’t a mistake and wore it out like that for years. Then when she got to Jananda all the scissors sucked so she just had to keep cutting her hair in the same shabby way. Mia and Oopa having long hair is so funny to me too cuz I imagine they wouldn’t let Tonari get anywhere near them with scissors in her hand (OK stop reading here Coop!)

While I’m here, i think Tonari probably sees a little bit of her old friends in the immortal army tbh. Like, @/alphaofdarkness made the connection that March probably reminded Tonari of Oopa ;; So I feel like Gugu could remind Tonari of Uroy in some ways too, like in the buff, blond, older brother figure kind of way. Eko could remind her of young Sandel in the same way both were kind of upbeat and cute, but quiet in a way that they faded a little in the group (my brother INSISTED Sandel had NOT been there the entire time we were watching the Jananda arc). Meanwhile Messar might remind her of the older Sandel, the kind who probably was more like a brotherly shithead to her after all their years of growing up together. And Mia… imma be honest Mia’s weird as hell, chair fighting, curly hair collecting? Ain’t nobody doing it like Mia 🫡 ACTUALLY ITS BON, BON TOTALLY REMINDS HER OF MIA LMAO

OK IM ENDING IT THERE (Believe it or not this is me limiting myself, I’d typed out an entire section on Tonari’s relationship with each of the members of the immortal army). Hope these were decent enough responses to your questions Ray!

If you- or anyone- has anymore questions on Tonari or literally anyone else please feel free to send them! I have thoughts on like literally everyone, no character too obscure ✌️

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of February 2024

[last month]

Out of all the releases I've been interested in these past two months, I feel like I've listened to barely any of them :( But I've really, really loved the ones I've gotten around to checking out, so I've been having a great couple months of music anyway! My music taste is in its seasonal transition--plenty of bleak winter stuff this month, but I've been craving big heartstopping pop anthems, too (G-IDLE's "Revenge" isn't on here, but I've been loving it lately).

1. Ahora y Aquí -- Ramon Mirabet, Bely Basarte

So I keep saying I'm tired of the 80s-inspired synthpop trend that's taken over our post-"Blinding Lights" world, but here I am with this at the top of my list. No but this one's DIFFERENT, SHE'S NOT LIKE OTHER SYNTHPOP. As with most tracks blessed by Bely Basarte, the vocals are what elevates this for me--they're unexpectedly gritty for a sleek pop track like this, and when both singers let it all out in that last chorus, I understand what it means to go feral. It has all the uncontrolled chaos of a real dance party, and I love it!!

2. Lejos -- Andrea Santiago

This is a pretty by-the-numbers Andrea Santiago song, but even the most average of her music is a world of its own to escape into. I'm not sure how to feel about this new album--something feels really off about the production--but "Lejos" is absolutely hypnotizing! Definitely going to be bringing this one out at karaoke sometime, because it's exactly my type of angst (and the chorus jumps are SOOO fun to sing???).

3. Turning Tables -- Adele

I sulked to this song all month, and I don't regret a minute of it.

4. Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart -- Mitski

Do I win sapphic points for having Mitski in the top 5?

5. Is It Over Now? (Taylor's Version) -- Taylor Swift

LETS FAST FOWARD TWO THREE HUNDRED TAKEOUT COFFEES LATER !!!!!! Yeah I'm completely obsessed with that line. Taylor Swift always releases songs that are just SO fun to sing along to, so I'm running around my apartment like YOU SEARCH IN EVERY MODEL'S BED FOR SOMETHING GREATER, BABY !!!! This song is such an off-balance mix of humor and agony, so like I don't really understand it but I can't take my eyes off it. And that intro is GORGEOUS.

6. Easy -- Le Sserafim

I didn't get the hype for "Perfect Night", so I didn't particularly care either way about this comeback--until I heard it. And oh my god "Easy" got me on first listen. ("Smart" has been working its way up my On Repeat playlist, too.) Le Sserafim stole all my new-release energy this month, but my appreciation for "Easy" still hasn't died out. A silky-smooth song like this is perfect for my mood right now--their delivery is so casually confident, contagious enough that I can't help but feel stronger when I listen to it; but it's not so energetic that my poor gloomy winter-brain is overwhelmed. The production is really crisp, too, complimenting the vocals well and making for some really iconic moments. And yes i'm aware this is gg "Sticker". I still can't listen to "Sticker" (it gives me a headache), but this version isn't too annoying for me, I guess?

7. Unstoppable -- Sia

I actually don't have a real explanation for this one? I remembered this song existed mid-month (after having forgotten about it since 2016), had a crisis with it as a soundtrack, and now it's in the playlists.

8. Roaring 20s -- Panic! At The Disco

Burnout anthem?? Burnout anthem.

9. Outta My Head -- Jeon Somi

My commentary on every Somi song ever is just "Somi sing so pretty SQUEEEEEEEE". So, that's my review for "Outta My Head". I don't know if people still like this one, but my love for it hasn't died since "Birthday" era!

10. Budget (feat. Latto) -- Megan Thee Stallion, Latto

@shyreol got me with her Megan Thee Stallion agenda! I don't think I'd ever cared for a Megan Thee Stallion song before this year, but "Ungrateful" and "Budget" have me HOOKED.

11. Now That We Don't Talk (Taylor's Version) -- Taylor Swift

I don't know, I just really like it when the title drop goes BOOM !!

NOW THAT. WE DON'T. TALK.

12. Tinnitus (Wanna be a rock) -- TXT

WHOOOOO AFROBEATS !!!

13. There Will Be Tears -- Faux Paz

Faux Paz is back for round two on my 2024 monthly lists! They're my favorite holdover from my acappella days--their arrangements always hit hard, and there's something about the really gloomy, and also cathartic, acceptance in the phrase "there will be tears" when its repeated by this giant wall of voices? It really gets me. This isn't my favorite Faux Paz cover, but it's a song I can't look away from.

14. Escape Room -- fromis_9

I'm a gg stan, so this was going to show up on here eventually. Next up, Chung Ha's "Roller Coaster" ?

15. Hold The Girl -- Rina Sawayama

Stole this rec from @nayeonline a while ago (thank you for sharing!!), and it really hit this month :) This song goes all out with the angst, and Rina Sawayama has more than enough vocal power to do it justice!

Five-Star Songs (& Albums) This Month:

Ahora y Aquí -- Ramon Mirabet, Bely Basarte (bely basarte is two-for-two in 2024's five-star songs lists, and wow is it deserved)

DNA -- Yena (i have no idea what about this song makes it so perfect for me, but i love it 100x more than "good morning" for some reason?? it just hits SO hard)

Pirate Radio* -- Jean Dawson (okay i'm actually not a huge fan of dawson's voice, but this instrumental is too wonderful to leave off the list. i watched & enjoyed school spirits on netflix this month, and this is by far my favorite from the soundtrack! string instruments make my heart go BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and this song is just a delightful confection of them !!)

Vision -- G-IDLE (a sixth star added for that layering where someone's murmuring underneath the whispery vocals in the chorus??????? like it should NOT sound as good as it does but here we are ?????)

Prenderle Fuego a Todo -- Andrea Santiago (i want to start including albums on here, mostly to get myself to listen to more albums all the way through! i've been obsessed with a few songs from this album for years now, but i finally listened to the whole thing this month--and it's even more wonderful as a complete set. the CLOSING SONG ?? I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE SPENT YEARS OF MY LIFE IGNORING IT. when i'm listening to andrea santiago's music, i see the world with completely new eyes, and this album captures that wanderlust, an emotion i've actually never felt without help from music, even in its slow moments.)

[zombiemackerel]

about music rn.

I'm here with a challenge

Assign every bsd character with a song

Every.

Every bad character in the main series who has enough dialogue or background to explain

Go

Dude I just cackled so maniacally you have no idea what you've just done

[Some of these have actual thought behind them and some of them are based purely on vibes so keep that in mind, also I only did the ADA, PM, and Sheep because I got lazy </3 might add to this later for the others, apologies if I've forgotten anyone else 😭]

ADA members

Fukuzawa - I have no clue to be honest, so I'm gonna give him Cats by The Living Tombstone because I think it's funny

Yosano - Just Dance by Lady Gaga

Atsushi - Advice by Alex G

Dazai - Alien by Lebanon Hanover

Kunikida - Too Close by Sir Chloe

Ranpo - Lotta True Crime by Penelope Scott

Jun'ichiro - Custer by Slipknot

Naomi - Vivica by Jack Off Jill

Kyouka - Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski

Kenji - Lemon Boy by Cavetown

Katai - don't know enough about katai to give him anything [yes I know he's a former member but I wanted to put him on the list anyways]

Haruno - same applies to haruno </3

PM members

Mori - I don't know about him either I'm sorry 😭

Kouyou - Should've Been Me by Mitski

Chuuya - Hate Yourself by TV Girl

Akutagawa - Gallowdance by Lebanon Hanover

Gin - In the Dark You Die by Dark

Tachihara - Over & Over by Rio Romeo

Higuchi - It's Never Enough by we are the dirt

Hirotsu - It's Called: Freefall by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

Elise [idk if she counts but she's getting added anyways] by Who Is She by I Monster

Q - Cry Babies by Crystal Castles

Kaiji - Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D. by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

Oda - Parallel Universe by Mysteron

Ango [he counted at one point so we're putting him here as well because I know virtually nothing about the rest of the Special Divisions Unit] - Saddest Smile by Lebanon Hanover

Sheep members

Shirase - Things to Do by Alex G

Yuan - Japan by Yot Club

The rest of the sheep aren't really touched on so I can't get anything for each member specifically, but Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana gives me Sheep vibes

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi hello my anglest angel!!! now that i have uh caught a breath from the knight!sugu fic (i went insane btw) i am here to talk about the songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE SO GOOD!!!!!! i know you said that you have Thoughts about them and now i am beggggging to hear more about those!!! please please please more knight!sugu n brat!reader crumbs i loved them so much

THE SECOND GOODBYE MY DANISH SWEETHEART STARTED PLAYING IT JUST CONJURED UP THE PRETTIEST CASTLE AND I WAS ALREADY IN THE STORY I LOVED IT SO MUCH

there’s nobody better than you // it took me a while till i knew // but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? // it just took me a while till i knew

sad face emoji sugu the all-knowing-one sighhhhh oh i adore him so much ari i nEED TO HUG HIM

I LOVE RISES THE MOON AAAAAAAA I LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH i think it fits the reader so fucking well. it's such a good pick for them. the little lamb the little fox. sigh they're very dear to me already.

btw i just realized that i asked moss a while ago for their knight!sugu songs and "tongues and teeth" was one of the songs!!!!!! idk if u happened to see that but if not then this is a very cute little coincidence it's the knight hivemind!!!!

i’ve grown a mouth so sharp and cruel // it’s all that i can give to you, my dear // and when you come in quick to steal a kiss // my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear

THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH THIS FITS THEM SO WELL WHAT

no but overall all of these songs were perfect for them i listened to the playlist multiple times and then i listened to classical music lmao don't ask it fit surprisingly well OKAY BUT NOW DON'T HOLD BACK ON ME!!!!! (THREAT!!!! VERY SERIOUS THREAT!!!) I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU'RE HIDING IN YOUR BRAIN ABOUT THEM LAY IT ALL ON ME SWEETHEART I'M GIDDY I'M EXCITED I'M READY!!! LOVE YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS<33333

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY I’M HERE I’M HERE I’M FINALLY HERE 😭😭😭 pls ignore the fact that i’m many months late ok my brain refuses to cooperate with me sometimes but i’ve been soso excited to answer this properly!!!! this got . Extremely long. like. actually. i got VERY carried away . i’m sorry i genuinely can’t stfu when it comes to them <///3

anyway !!!!! knight!sugu & bratty royal!reader our beloveds :333

first off!!!! i’m sooo glad to hear you enjoyed the songs 🥺🥺🥺 and that you got knight!sugu/royalty!reader vibes from them too!!!!! i’m just gonna get right into it bc we have . a Lot to discuss 😭😭 i really didn’t hold back in the slightest AND ON THAT NOTE pls just know that there’s literally zero pressure to reply to this at all, esp since it’s so late!!! i’m so happy just knowing you think of these silly little guys 🥺 i love you soooo much my sweetest little kitty cat mwah MWAHH <333

goodbye, my danish sweetheart

MY FAVORITE MITSKI SONG EVER EVER EVERRR and honestly i think it fits the fic more than any other song on this list . like. just the vibes + instrumentals alone are sooo perfect for a royalty au…. it sounds nostalgic and bittersweet and very tender . and the LYRICS 😵‍💫😵‍💫ohhhh my fucking god mickey . i’m gonna need to go through them one by one but they just … make me think of royalty!reader so much . how they just want to be accepted. the feelings of inferiority …. the belief that nobody can love them as they are . :(((

there's nobody better than you // it took me a while 'til i knew // but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you? // it just took me a while 'til i knew now i lay as i study a blank wall // would you spare me your voice if i call? // ’cause you waited and watered my heart 'til it grew // you can see how it’s blossomed for you

THIS IS SOOOO READER @ SUGU. he’s the one who keeps pushing and fighting for a connection between them and reader keeps resisting until they just . can’t. and they really do think there’s nobody better than their knight !! nobody stronger or kinder. they love him sm :(((( every time they call for him he’s there. and he waters their tiny little heart until it’s not afraid to flourish anymore…..

there’s some kind of burning inside me // it’s kept me from falling apart // and i’m sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart // but it's kept me from falling apart

AND THEN THIS . oughhh . :(((( this is both royalty!reader AND knight!sugu…… they both keep their true self at arm’s lenght to protect themselves. and they both cling to something rotten to keep themselves intact. in reader’s case they cling to the idea of themself as a spoiled, bratty, scummy royal — cling to the anger and bitterness they feel . and suguru clings to knighthood. it burns him but it makes him feel alive. it’ll turn him to ashes but he doesn’t mind. etectc.

strawberry blonde

aaaand then another mitski banger :33 i picked this one mostly based on vibes !!! the instrumental just sounds like it could fit into this au … the more peaceful scenes between the two . but the lyrics are also just brimming with devotion and adoration..

i love everybody because i love you // when you stood up, walked away barefoot // and the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape // i looked over it and i ached i love it when you call my name // can you hear the bumblebees swarm? // watching your arm // i love it when you look my way

IT’S PERFECT BECAUSE . i think the lyrics work both ways !!! i can see both sets of lyrics being from reader’s pov; loving suguru makes it easier for them to love the world . they want him to call them by name. but it also works well from sugu’s pov…. he aches for them and yearns to follow them . he loves it when they call his name, too. they’re both yearners…. what can i say…..

rises the moon

ANOTHER VIBE-BASED SONGGG i also love this one mickey … it’s so beautiful and soothing :((( i imagine it playing during the scene where suguru shares a bit of his past with reader . sitting by the windowsill in their room as the moon glows….. and then he carries them to bed and tucks them in :) i can picture him humming them to sleep with this song.

oh-oh, close your weary eyes // i promise you that soon the autumn comes // to darken fading summer skies you’ll be visited by sleep // i promise you that soon the autumn comes // to steal away each dream you keep breathe, breathe, breathe

and the lyrics are just ???? soooo incredibly soothing. i think knight!sugu brings a lot of peace into reader’s life . they feel very safe with him. and the mentions of dreams and seasons feel fitting, since those are motifs in the fic :3

honestly !! i associate a lot of my character/reader pairings with seasons …. especially this one though. i’m also always thinking about your little knight and prince and how he’s the summer to their spring :3 in my case i think suguru is probably reader’s autumn!! a bridge that softens the gap between summer and winter…. he gives them stability and comfort. and they give him both summer and winter. he meets them right in the middle <33

tongues & teeth

HEAVY BREATHING …… this one is a Must for any knight character or pairing . any character who views themself as a monster . I DID SEE THIS ON MOSS’S PLAYLIST TOO AND THEY’RE SO BIGBRAINED FOR THAT !!!!! it’s just… oughh. i think i mostly associate this one with suguru’s rampage after reader gets kidnapped but the lyrics are more readercoded !!!!

i’ve grown a mouth so sharp and cruel // it’s all that i can give to you, my dear // and when you come in quick to steal a kiss // my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear oh, i will ruin you // it’s a habit, i can't help it // i know that you mean so well // but i am not a vessel for your good intent i will only break your pretty things // i will only wring you dry of everything // but if you're fine with that // if you're fine with that…

IT’S ABOUT . the violence . and tenderness. a person who thinks they’ll bring this brighter, kinder, more ”pure” person nothing but pain . reader assumes they’re too much for anyone to handle so they keep everyone at arm’s lenght . i think they view the people they admire as paintings. and they’re convinced they’ll smudge the canvas if they get too close . but deep down they want to be accepted, claws and all :(((

and suguru does!!! they both accept each other as they are . a fox and a wolf. suguru will let reader bite and hiss and claw at him as much as they need. he won’t love them any less . and reader sees suguru covered in blood, manic and frenzied, and still only thinks about how beautiful he is . how nice their name sounds when it’s falling from his lips . they don’t love each other despite their flaws or because of their flaws . they just like each other. scratch marks and all . i’m normal abt them btw

the garden

THIS ONE 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 MICKEYYYY HOLD MY HAND. this one is almost TOO perfect . i love the crane wives and so many of their songs would fit super well into this fic …. but this one is just . insane . the album cover even has a little fox 🥺 BUT AAA JUST . the instrumental and the LYRICS … i’m gonna need to really pick them apart because they’re so unbelievably perfect for royalty!reader i’m going to. scream.

the crows in the garden are laughing at my expense // drowning out all the lies that i might have told instead

OK SOOO . crows . are a bit of a motif in the fic. crows remind me a lot of suguru maybe that’s why. then there’s also the garden, which is mentioned a lot in the fic too!! all the flower imagery…

but . here’s the thing. royalty!reader is a Liar. they lie. they wear a mask. they’re not honest with their own self and not with anyone else either. and they assume everyone is looking down on them. i can picture them looking out into the garden, seeing those free crows, and imagining their cawing as mocking laughter . it drowns out the sound of their own lies . (crumbles to the floor)

my stone // my shield, my steady hand // hold your light // to the darkness in my head

AND THIS ONE . THIS ONEEEE

mickey ….. grabs your shoulders. i know you’ll see the vision. this is royalty!reader @ knight!sugu and it makes me . Ache . very deeply. he’s their stone. their shield, their steady hand. he holds a light to the darkness in their head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oughhhh they make me insane 😔😔😔 i think reader holds a light to suguru’s darkness too though . it’s more subtle with him but i wrote the fic with the idea that reader saves knight!suguru from his destined doom. he grows to care more for them than knighthood, which saves him from his fate, which is. breaking under the pressure of knighthood. you Get me. you must choose love Every Time.

put your ear to my heart or set your teeth against my throat // give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes

this one is just . really fitting right??? i guess this one is more knight!sugu coded though . i can imagine him returning to the castle after a bloody duel and getting patched up by a worried little reader :((( they give him a clean blouse . maybe bite his throat a little . who knows .

…. i think they also really love the sound of his heartbeat. it helps them sleep :3

get on your knees and // dig up the garden // won’t you throw down that spade and // dig up the garden, darling? // get your hands dirty and // rip up the garden // won’t you cut down that apple tree for me?

and finally This …….. i think the garden is like. a Metaphor . you know how it is . something something reader is a flower growing under the soil…. suguru has to dig their heart up…. etcetc. but i also love the devotion of it all . the loyal knight gets on his knees and digs and digs at his lord’s request. he’s eternally devoted to their joy.

my love is sick

dies . explodes .

mickey this song …. this goddamn song….. oughhh i love madds buckley sm :((((( she’s so good!!! i adore this song and i think it fits very well for both of them but especially royalty!reader…. it goes back to the whole thing where . they think they’re unloveable. their love is ”sick.” but they still crave tenderness and companionship……

my love is sick // it’s messy and wrong // but i pray for a bit of contagion // hands without fingers // like spoons at the source // coat evenly // oh, won’t you touch me? you’re an infection // i am keeping // no matter the sepsis // you are staying my love is sick // it’s taken me whole // i’m simply a host to a haunting // ghosts without corpses // still linger in flesh // holding on to a love they keep wanting

THESE LYRICS ARE JUST . soooo good. so good. the idea that they view their love as messy and wrong but still want him to touch them . they view him as an infection because intimacy scares them so much but they still don’t want him gone.

and then the final line ….. ”holding on to a love they keep wanting”…….. yeahhh . suguru and reader are both afraid to bare their hearts to one another but they keep holding onto that love anyway.

anything, anything, anything

aaaand then finally!!! another madds buckley song :33 this one is ADORABLE and it’s just . dripping with devotion and adoration !!!! i guess i see it almost as a post-fic song ??? like. after the final scene. the culmination of their relationship. it encompasses their love for each other really really well and the lyrics are just so sweet 🥺🥺

honey, i hate wine // but i’d gladly down a bottle of your name // just to get another taste of you // a single drop not on my tongue would be a waste and i hate mornings // but i like waking next to you // you always wake up before i do // so i can sleep in your embrace and i hate time // the minutes shared will never last enough // no amount of time will ever be too much // and parting leaves a bitter taste

THESE LYRICS ….. soooo royalty!reader. they’re a little sap but they don’t want to admit it!!!! i think their love comes down to making Exceptions. like. suguru is their exception. they hate wine but they’d drink some if he brewed it for them. they hate mornings but wake up early just to get a glimpse of his sleeping face . they hate time, but cherish the clock-ticks they spend with him. they’re a little softie and i love them :(((((

we burn like gentle firewood // we yearn like vines and leaves // and we settle in the comfort of // the bones that rest beneath // and i’d stop staying home and wasting time // to keep your soul with mine

THIS IS BOTH OF THEMMMM. they burn and yearn and settle in the comfort between each other…… they’d stop staying home and stop wasting time to keep each other close .

i’d do anything, anything, anything // anything, anything, anything…

this is really like . the Core of the fic i think. especially on knight!suguru’s side . he’d do anything. there’s something very gentle and tender about this repetition and it makes me wanna cry. sniffle . i adore them mickey :((((( he’d do anything for themmmmm

BUTTTT OKAY . songs aside…… the reason it took me so long to answer this (faulty brain aside) is that i really wanted to include some siken poems for you too :’3 since his poetry inspired me sooo much when i was writing the fic!!! and so many of them are knight!sugu +/ royalty!reader coded….

i’m just gonna go through the ones that remind me of them the most !!!! :33

the way the light reflects

title of the fic was snatched right from this so ofc i had to include it 🫡🫡

the paint doesn’t move the way the light reflects, so what’s there to be faithful to? i am faithful to you, darling. i say it to the paint.

i think this. encompasses the fic. i really do. the paint and the light. the Faith. what’s there to be faithful to? well, the knight by your side has something to say. if reader is faithful to the paint then he is faithful to Them. he’s made out of it. and all reader wants is for someone to have faith in them. they’re the paint, and suguru’s the light.

i paint in his face and i paint it out again. there is a question i am afraid to ask: to supply the world with what?

and this … royalty!reader is really . confused i think. to supply the world with what? what’s their purpose? what good can someone do when they’re stuck in a castle? they don’t know, so they keep painting. and maybe that’s enough.

…. i can’t remember if i mentioned this to you before but. i imagine that reader paints suguru a Lot once the events of the fic are over. as in…… eventually a corner of their room is dedicated to him and no one else . he’s very embarrassed about it. cutie <333

portrait of fryderyk in shifting light

THIS POEM . richard siken when i fucking catch you. it’s one of my absolute favorites of his and it…. really really REALLY helped me write some scenes 😭 especially the one where reader is painting. the writing is just so beautiful and flows so well. and it fits the themes of the fic perfectly !!

i sussed the gesso into foam and white roses, stalling. i troubled the shadows and silvered his edges. what can you know about a person? they shift in the light.

silvered his edges …. something something royalty!reader @ knight!sugu . BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING …. what can you know about a person? they shift in the light. that’s another quote that really gets to the core of the fic i think….!!! both sugu and reader aren’t what they seem to be. they shift in the light!!!

i find the parts that overlap with mine and light them up in clayd and creams, yellow music singing pink, the flicker of his mouth a purple rust. his face congeals as he settles in. his hair is bronze in here, not gold: walnut, bark, and cinnamon, chipped brick tipped in ink.

OUGHHHHHH AGAIN I’M JUST . so . enamored with the way he writes 💔💔💔 the colours…. the paint……. this is what goes through reader’s head when they’re painting suguru

difficult, to be confronted with the fact of yourself. opaque in the sense of finally solid, in the sense of see me, not through me.

SEE ME NOT THROUGH ME 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 yeah. reader wants to be Seen but not Discovered. suguru does both. he sees them and sees through them and stays anyway. it’s difficult to accept yourself but he does it for them. he sees the wolf and the lamb and the little fox beneath !!!! and reader sees him for the kind wolf that he is :333

litany in which certain things are crossed out

h … heavy breathing …. another of my favorite siken poems . this one was my absolute fav for a while….. it’s a really long one and there are just . soo many lines that reminds me of them!!! :((((

of course, she wakes the dragon. love always wakes the dragon and suddenly flames everywhere. i can already tell you think i’m the dragon, that would be so like me, but i’m not. i’m not the dragon. i’m not the princess either. (…) okay, so i’m the dragon. big deal. you still get to be the hero. you get magic gloves! a fish that talks! you get eyes like flashlights! what more do you want?

THE DRAGON/PRINCESS IMAGERYYYY. LOVE ALWAYS WAKES THE DRAGON !!!!!!! reader views themselves as The Dragon while suguru views them as The Princess . he’s The Hero obviously. i think reader is bitter towards suguru at the beginning for a Lot of reasons but one of them is jealousy. knights are domesticated creatures so they aren’t exactly Free but . they have more freedom than a chained royal . they get to run around in the forest and by the sea and they get to see the world :((( what more could he want?

you said i could have anything i wanted, but i just couldn’t say it out loud.

throws up blood . yeah . the knight offers his lord anything they wish for but they can’t say what they truly wish for . they can’t push the words out of their mouth .

forget the dragon, leave the gun on the table, this has nothing to do with happiness.

EXPLODES !!!!!!!! one of my favorite siken lines Ever. idk it’s just the vibes . i know you’ll understand mickey!!!!!!!! forget the dragon, this has nothing to do with happiness……

i want more applesauce. i want more seats reserved for heroes. dear forgiveness, i saved a plate for you. quit milling around the yard and come inside.

🥺🥺🥺 this line is so…. pretty. and hopeful. it makes me think more of knight!sugu than reader because i think he’s done many things he can’t forgive himself for . but the forgiveness he yearns for is just within reach . all he needs is a push. and i think reader more than anyone wants the better things in life — for themselves and for their knight.

suguru is passive in his suffering, but reader is willing to reach for what they want. and i think that inspires him. quit milling around the yard and come inside!!!!!! stupid silly knight >:((

unfinished duet

this is knight!suguru’s anthem . boy oh boy do i have thoughts about this ……

he wants to be tender and merciful. that sounds overly valorous. sounds like penance. and his hands? his hands keep turning into birds and flying away from him. him being you.

heavy breathing …. he wants to be tender and merciful. sounds like penance. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i have …. soooo many thoughts about knight!suguru but the center of his character really is Guilt. shame. he wants to repent for things he can’t remember doing. knights are meant to be ashamed . it’s the catholic in them i think

then there’s the bird line ….. as much as he pushes and pushes for that connection, he’s just as scared as reader is when it comes to intimacy!! his hands turn into birds and fly away from them . he’s afraid of crossing a line or boundary. i tried to show it in the fic but like …. he’s very particular about certain things . he’s willing to bend certain rules (esp later when his devotion starts sticking more to his lord than his knighthood) but he’s Very firm about other things . like not calling them by name at first . it’s a little… too much for him. knights really have to tiptoe that line.

…. there’s this one arthurian work that i love. that you’ve definitely heard about bc it’s so popular + they made a movie out of it and i don’t think it was a good adaptation but it was soooooo so good as a movie . gawain and the green knight….. I DON’T WANNA RAMBLE TOO MUCH BUT UM. i love the arthuriana :333 and i’m mentioning this story because gawain is tested on his value as a knight right. there’s a whole thing about how he kisses a man’s wife because it’d be impolite to deny the lady’s wishes (rejecting her would go against his honour as a knight), but he can’t sleep with her because that would go against … his honour as a knight. it’s a whole. purity thing. you need to be chivalrous but also chaste. so knight!sugu acts all charming and flirty but when reader wants him to cross the line between them he’s like 😳 yeah. he’s . a silly little guy .

what did you really want? someone to pass this with me. you wanted more.

cries . throws up . this is both knight!sugu and royalty!reader actually …. they limit themselves because they don’t think they capable of / allowed to have the thing they really want :(((( just having somebody by their side is enough for now….

was there no one else? his hands keep turning into birds, and his hands keep flying away from him. eventually the birds must land.

…. yeahhhh . 😔😔 yeah . sorry this poem is wrecking me a little . eventually the birds must land!!!! knight!suguru can resist and royalty!reader can resist in kind but one day that distance Will be breached. they’re doomed to fall (positive).

snow and dirty rain

and finally …. this beast . it’s the final poem of siken’s crush collection and it goes…. insanely hard. soooo many lines here remind me of them mickey :((((( it’s sickening actually . just a little push more and then you’re free 🫂🫂🫂 here is a drink for u to sip while reading i made it just for you ☕️

we can do anything. it’s not because our hearts are large, they’re not, it’s what we struggle with.

OUGHHH . yeah . knight!sugu and royalty!reader both have pretty small hearts but they’re kinda…. overfilled . i think . they both struggle with kindness despite wanting to Do Good .

my dragonfly, my black-eyed fire, the knives in the kitchen are singing for blood, but we are the crossroads, my little outlaw, and this is the map of my heart, the landscape after cruelty which is, of course, a garden, which is a tenderness, which is a room, a lover saying hold me tight, it’s getting cold.

….. i just realized every single one of these quotes is gonna wreck me entirely . I’M JUST???? THIS IS THEM?!????? IT WAS MADE FOR THEM?????? MY DRAGONFLY MY BLACK-EYED FIRE. MY LITTLE OUTLAW. the landscape after cruelty which is OF COURSE a garden which is OF COURSE a tenderness which is OF COURSE a room of sleeping lovers. tenderness is a garden . etcetc.

we have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven, which brings us back to the hero’s shoulders and a gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it.

just kill me actually . i wrote some of these lines here wayyyy back when you first sent this ask so being forced to read them again is . hurting me mickey 😭😭😭 FOR THE RECORD. this one is extremely knight!reader/prince!toru coded. the gentleness that comes not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it… yeahhh. you get me.

you said tell me about your books, your visions made of flesh and light and i said this is the moon. this is the sun. let me name the stars for you.

🥺🥺🥺 reader asks about his life and visions and dreams . and suguru tells them about the moon and the sun and the constellations ….. ”let me name the stars for you.” <- SUCH a sugu thing to say. i can’t stand him . he’s so devoted it hurts when i think about him

we were in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want, so i said what do you want, sweetheart? and you said kiss me.

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😵‍💫😭😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 KISS ME . this is literally the final scene between them . under the stars. suguru asks what they want and all they want is a kiss. THE SWEETHEART …… lowkey his favorite petname. i’m partial to it. they go through all the suffering and growing together and finally arrive at the gold room. where they get what they want. and all they want is each other . (sound of muffled sobbing)

we are all just trying to be holy. my applejack, my silent night, just mash your lips against me. we are all going forward. none of us are going back.

and finally …… this 💔💔💔 it’s just . perfect. it’s so hopeful and it makes me so emotional. just mash your lips against me; none of us are going back. even though they were both born for doom there’s a bright future ahead of them :’3

OKAY I’M DONE . FINALLY . if you read all this then just know i’m smothering you in kisses…. i’m doing that regardless though . i love you!!!! thank you for loving them with me!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 i hope this was a fun read despite the wait </3

[thermodynamic-comedian]

okay. Yuri-bot asker again. I've been stalking your page. I love your.. curious thoughts. You are a VERY interesting specimen. Anyways, not the point, I'm giving people on Tumblr I enjoy Mitski lyrics I believe for with them. You've been picked as one of those people! I couldn't really pick just one set of lyrics so.. you get two!

"I wanna see the whole world

I wanna see the whole world

I don't know how I'm gonna pay rent

I wanna see the whole world"

- My Body's Made Of Crushed Little Stars

"So, I don't blame you

If you want to bury me in your memory

I'm not the girl I ought to be, but

Maybe when you tell your friends

You can tell them what you saw in me

And not how I turned out to be"

- Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart

woagh that's crazy one of my friends is going to a mitski concert in germany pretty soon

[mitzisarchive]

Marauders as mitski songs

Hi! another one? yeah, but this time we’re here with my love regulus because i kin him and, honestly, i always want to talk about him

i’m a little wary about this one

once again i must remind y’all that this is my own interpretation. especially since i kin this boy and that affects the way i think of him (am i projecting? probably) but at the same time i must say i don’t want to romantice the death eaters nor justify bigotry. i could make an entire post of my personal interpretation of regulus

not gonna lie, at first i thought about giving regulus “goodbye my danish sweetheart” with the focus being, of course, his and sirius’ relationship. and it may be because i’m an only child, but i don’t really like how sometimes we reduce regulus’ character to sirius’ little brother, because he can be such an interesting character

anyways, i finally chose for him everyone, from lauren hell, a song which mitski defined as minimalistic - she actually made it when she didn’t had any instruments around!

let’s go with regulus “everyone” black

(did i lose the chance to do regulus “everyone” black // sirius “nobody” black parallel? yes, i will never recover)

___________________________________________________

Everyone, all of them

Everyone said, "Don't go that way"

So, of course, to that I said

"I think I'll go that way"

the song begins with this rebellion, the protagonists is going against everything their surroundings are telling them. there’s a certain cockiness to this decision, “so, of course, to that I said” is telling us the protagonist usually does whatever they want.

this may no sound like regulus at first, i know, but it’s because there’s been this weird babygirlfication of reggie, and i think y’all are forgetting this boy wanted to join the death eaters. i’m not the one to take jk rowling seriously, but she had something to say about regulus. apparently, he "got in a little too deep... He was attracted to it, but the reality of what it meant was way too much to handle"

now, we can argue about what was regulus attracted to, but as a slytherin i will assume regulus was attracted to the power voldemort possessed. now, “the reality of what it meant was way too much to handle” could be the fact that voldemort was actively making horrocruxes, but i would find it weird that someone could excuse a literal genocide but draw the line at immortality, so the reality of what it meant is probably more about the killing part.

now, you may be thinking “why would he join the death eaters if he couldn’t stand some death?” well, growing up with that kind of family probably desensitized him to some extend. we can’t forget that this boy died at 18, he was barely a child when he joined the death eaters and he didn’t become active until 17.

regulus definitely wasn’t defying everyone when he joined the death eaters, but i like seeing it this way:

regulus was getting into so much danger by joining the dark lord, there would be probably people around him who were worried about him, he may have ignored them.

but there was one who tried harder than anyone. his brother. i will fight whoever i have to fight, but i won’t believe that sirius let his little brother alone for a second while he could still look out for him. i won’t believe he didn’t beg for reg to come with him, and i won’t believe that even when he was disowned he didn’t ask for reg to not join the death eaters.

and, definitely, i won’t believe that regulus didn’t care about sirius. everyone may had told regulus to join the death eaters, but the one regulus cared the most was telling him not to join them.

so, of course, he joined them.

And I left the door open to the dark

I said, "Come in, come in, whatever you are"

But it didn't want me yet

he joins at 16, quite a young age, yet nothing happens yet, he’s not old enough after all

maybe he hanged around the future death eaters gang, and maybe he cursed some muggleborns, but he wasn’t active, all that once had screamed danger looked now stupid, after all, what had changed?

he’s still far way from the reality of the situation, the dark didn’t want him yet

Then like a babe in a crib

After some big hand turns out the light

And I opened my arms wide to the dark

I said, "Take it all, whatever you want"

a babe in a crib is such a painful metaphor

baby’s are supposed to be comfortable in a crib, happy,safe

when regulus had grown comfortable in that situation, he faced the reality, the violence, the death

his first reaction was probably to keep his posture and try to follow the others “take it, whatever you want” after all, regulus was active for a year, yet when he disappeared he had made enough of a reputation himself that people believed he was killed by voldemort. this boy was probably a menace.

I didn't know that I was young

I didn't know what it would take

I didn't know what it would take

this is the most painful part for me

“i didn’t know i was young”

sometimes we like to think we’re so mature and so old only to find out years later we were only kids. i think of sixteen-year-old me and i can’t help but smile at the fact that i believed i was practically an adult, because i was a teenager and so young.

my memories are sweeter than regulus’, for sure, as he had joined a terrorist group, and he had probably sacrificed so much of his integrity in order to fit in.

the fact that “i didn’t know what it would take” repeats twice makes me think that’s the breaking point of the protagonist, and regulus breaking point was voldemort hurting kreacher. for me, regulus probably had suspect about the horrocrux for a while until that confirms it

in that moment he makes the decision to end it all, and to redeem in his own twisted way

“Sometimes I think I am free”

the desire to redeem himself, the hope there’s something else for him, that he can do something better with his life

“Until I find I'm back in line again”

life isn’t a fairytale, regulus’ redemption stays between him and kreacher and his hopes evaporates as he’s drowned by inferis. he’s back in line, as he will be forever remembered as regulus black, the death eater.

or, well, kreacher doesn’t die there, and he lives long enough to clean regulus’ name

‘Fight! Fight! Fight for my master, defender of house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord, in the name of brave Regulus! Fight!’

________________________________________________

it’s interesting to say that before we’ve talked about the “After some big hand turns out the light” part, and it can be interpreted both as the reality of what joining the dark lord meant and being dragged by the inferis.

well HI AGAIN!!

i’ve been missing for a while, i know, but right now i’m about to face one of my country’s most difficult exams and i’m in the excellency program, so i have little to no time left

i love regulus so much and i need more morally grey regulus fics, drop some recs if you know any please

[faglovesongs]

♫ + cniki

hi it's been like a month but i just saw this ask so. here u go anyway

goodbye my danish sweetheart- mitski

[disastrousfeline]

HI sorry for the late response i have been agonizing over this for weeks <- anxiety

anyways i think it's best if i begin with a preface from our esteemed gm @sekiyo:

i think we agreed that our playthrough is even weirder in context so uhm . i'm just gonna explain what we've shared on tumblr. but if you want more context anyway feel free to ask 👍 in particular @crunchy-lesbun is VERY excited to share about buns blorbos

anyways i'll try going through this chronologically:

this very post oh god do i have to explain everything . fine okay - a burning hill: do i need to explain this . i am the fire, i am the forest, and i am a witness watching it. i stand in a valley watching it. and you're not there at all - because dreaming costs money, my dear: in the scenes preceding the tachyon, marthe (callsign 9 thermidor) (@sagit---taurus's pc, as mentioned) had an extensive breakdown because she's from fourthcomm and knew feather. in the scene immediately preceding it i (as my pc sou spacious lynk, callsign alsciaukat) referenced this song because i was listening to mitski for hours recently at the time. to comfort her. we will manage somehow. seki even commented that the scene is really pretty with this song. i can still smell the fire. though i know it's long died out. the smoke still hangs in my hair. and on some quiet evenings it burns my eyes. yeah . - i'm your man: you believe me like a god; i'll destroy you like i am. - my love mine all mine: alice (as mentioned, @crunchy-lesbun"s pc) sang this while we were unwinding from the tachyon with a karaoke. her homebrewed bond is the lover and a lot about her is about loving. she is our polycule recruiter. - goodbye, my danish sweetheart: as i said, just a snippet and several combined hours of rotation . there's some kind of burning inside me; it's kept me from falling apart. and i'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart, but it's kept me from falling apart. - heat lightning: honestly this one's just vibes and SO MANY combined hours of rotation. sorry. i think it's understandable once you've rotated it enough though - last words of a shooting star: i quoted this when seki mentioned that s'more (its pc) keeps draer apartment pretty much unchanged so that, in the event that drae dies, drae does not leave much to clean up. seki agrees - a horse named cold air: vagueposted character has been revealed. the leviathan. please note that our group LOVES fucking around and finding out and thus we found out about A Lot of things before we should have. anyways the vibes do check out i think

trick or treat pt 1 marthe is. eccentric. a weirdgirl who lacks a sense of personal space. i say this affectionately. anyways yeah she's in a relationship with alice, as is like half of the team and several npcs

trick or treat pt 2 these are alice and cŵn annwn, an enemy npc from the capella fight that we got attached to and subsequently recruited to the polycule and team. she's graduated to a pc now by the way, still played by seki of course

trick or treat pt 3 i don't think i need to explain this. fuck rodericke steele all my homies hate rodericke steele. as a side note we might kill him soon (on ch 3 rn)

trick or treat pt 3.33 no relation to the previous trick or treat i just think it's a shame if it's not 3. anyways the other players don't know what characters this vaguepost is about yet. as a side note, this ransom note meme is made from snippets of yi sang's poems. yi sang the real life author wrote a lot of poems about mirrors

trick or treat pt 4 another reference to alice and cŵn annwn. also only tangentially related but sagit---taurus told me to mention that annwn was a farmgirl. so there's also that i guess

trick or treat pt 3.33 pt 2 seki didn't tag this with #in golden flame but. more dogmirror posting. wink wonk

FALLING, FALLING, FALLING INTO THE FLAMES at least seki and i are fans of the mechanisms and their song titled hellfire is so good and like. y'know. apocalyptic fire. and attempts to prevent it. i couldnt not brainrot about it. why alsciaukat? their bond is (a variant of) the magus and. yeah

more alsciaukatposting wooo my silly little pc, yeah. i use this as their tupper pfp now btw

vickposting i think @omaticwriting explained it pretty well already

my friends (@sekiyo @sagit---taurus @lemonorangelyr @crunchy-lesbun @omaticwriting) and i ended up associating a suspicious amount of mitski with our igf campaign for some reason (several combined hours of rotation) . here's a list (which im guessing will only continue to grow as our collective brain mold grows)

a burning hill

because dreaming costs money, my dear

i'm your man

my love mine all mine <- less about the campaign and more about a specific pc (alice, crunchy-lesbun's character)

goodbye, my danish sweetheart <- kinda like just a snippet of it but shhh

heat lightning

last words of a shooting star <- also more about a specific pc i think (s'more, sekiyo's character)

a horse named cold air <- character associated with it hasn't appeared yet but gm (sekiyo) vagueposted about it so

bonus (courtesy of sagit---taurus, 9 thermidor's player):

[sockori]

there’s nobody better than you

[tragedykery]

I’ll be doing karaoke and go “why do I sound off” not considering the fact that sitting cross-legged and half-hunched-over on your bed might not, in fact, be the best way to sing

[mintcaboodle]

you will regret asking this

ok so 'mitski archetypes' is a term completely fabricated by me and just refers to like. specific roles that tend to fall within her songs. for example. These snippets from Star (TLIIASAW), I Guess (Laurel Hell), and Two Slow Dancers (Be the Cowboy):

Between the three (auditorially as well) there's a theme of resigned acceptance to lost love. Looking back at what they had and remembering fondly, even though it hurts. This interpretation is also available in songs like Wife, Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart, but with varying levels of peace or lack of it. But the main point is it crosses albums and years, establishing the dynamic as a repetition enough to be a theme. (Or as I am saying: a Mitski archetype!)

There's a few other groups, and here's a couple rough categorizations that I did off the cuff so I maintain the rights to revise these LOL:

Desperate and/or all-consuming love (swings between healthy and unhealthy):

Destroying yourself in the pursuit of love or creation:

The perpetual (inevitable) fear of screwing it all up, of being the ruiner:

Anyway. There's patterns to her work beyond just 'sad music' (irritates me when ppl reduce her to that LOL). These delineations are flexible, too, with very few on a hardline. Its more of a blurry approximation, as any interesting theme is. My main point to the categories is that you can fit a lot of specific media/relationships into them- by specifying that x, y, z songs at least somewhat express sentiment 'abc', you can slide up with character who identifies a lot with sentiment 'abc', and make those connections.

and even they dont, if you are a true mitski scholar or just deranged enough, you can headcanon them into it had enough to work anyway LMFAO. thanks for the Q @junktrout

which came first chicken or the egg but its which came first my fascination with tortured stories or my takenism with mitski discography.

just know that as soon as a pairing becomes mitski-viable (ofmd s2, gomens s2 ending, yellowjackets....etc...) i hone in like a fucking truffle pig on the most operatic sniff of his life

[mirillel]

Mitski Mitski

[vampyrial]

Over & Over, Honey

Content warnings: nsfw (mdni), pregnancy

Pairing: Claude x fem!reader

Author’s note: me, writing this: I’ll fix this family with my. bare. hands. Anyway, this is a sorta part two to A Pearl. You don't really need to read it to get this one, though.

Song: Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart - Mitski

‘There’s nobody better than you’ The thought occurred to Claude every time he saw you. Though he loathed to admit it out loud, you were making him a better man. He was happier than he had ever been. The anxiety still crept into his heart now and again but with you, he could let it pass through and forget. His rage was always calmed when he saw your eyes. Although you never judged him as bad or good, to you, he only wanted to show a version of himself that could be good.

So when you encountered the daughter he had purposely forgotten, only 3 years old, it made his heart clench in fear for more reasons than one. Though, calm as always, once you came to understand who and what exactly she was, you only gave your insight. “I’ve accepted all parts of you, good and evil. That’s why I feel comfortable telling you that what you did to that child was awful. But unlike many of the things in life you’ve done, you have another chance to change the outcome” You said “It’s your choice to make, not mine. Whatever you decide to do, whether you decide to develop a relationship with her or leave her be, do it for yourself and your daughter. Not for me.”

Your serene face showed no reproach. Somehow your lack of open judgement made him feel worse. What else could he do? Hearing you talk about what he had done, having you know, made all the unpleasant feelings flood back in. Maybe you were his external conscience. It’s true that the unpleasant knowledge of your concealed sadness was the main thing that made him want to make things right but it didn’t stay that way.

He met his daughter often, without you. At first, she was a curiosity. Her mannerisms, her clumsiness, her childish sayings. He had claimed they were annoying, even insolent at times but you knew they were growing on him. Now that he had worked through the pain of losing Diana and forgiven her, he also had to work through the last remnant of that pain that he had taught himself to forget. He had to make peace with the daughter who bore such a strong resemblance. It was a deeply personal experience that you didn’t want to interfere in.

Although it was painfully awkward at first, the two grew close enough to spend hours in the day with each other and you were glad. He was even beginning to act like a proper dad, carrying her properly and all. Slowly, you began to forge your own relationship with Athy. You never wanted to be her surrogate mother, you weren’t even sure how to do that, honestly. You just wanted to be someone who could help her, someone she could go to for comfort, for advice, for anything you could give. Even though you were her stepmother, she already had a mother and she already had a mother figure, the most useful thing you could be to her was a friend.

She took to you well. You were easy for her to like. She looked for you often and it wasn’t an unusual sight to see you carrying her in your arms around the palace. She took comfort in your soothing voice and how you would chide Claude when he teased her. In her head, she called you “Angel” for your demeanor and beauty.

Claude had formed his own relationship and love for Athy outside of his desire to show you he could be good. They had become a family. You could finally rest easily knowing that Claude was doing his best to repair his wrongs and that Athy had forgiven him. They were ready to include you in their dynamic. You thought that you could never be her mother but Athy was a bit more open minded than you thought. She had grown up being raised by multiple maids that she viewed as maternal figures. She had always known she could have more than one “mother.” She eagerly accepted you as her stepmother without ever letting go of the other women who had a hand in raising her.

Somehow, finding this makeshift family made you feel more grounded. Becoming a mother felt permanent. You were connected to Athy as you were tied to Claude. Even if you left this world, they were a part of you. You could keep them in your heart like pressed flowers between book pages. The peace of that was everything. It made your relationship with Claude even stronger.

Every time you got alone with Claude, the two of you were all over each other. The maids could barely get in to clean. Maybe it was the fact that in addition to his political duties, he had Athy and couldn’t spend as much time with you. Both of you felt so immensely pent up. He just wanted you. When you only had a bit of time to spare, you visited his office, he put his hand between your legs not bothering to stifle your moans at all. Making you twitch each time his thumb made a pass over your clit. The way your hips stuttered while you were trying to rub yourself against him, he couldn’t help but smile against your lips.

To make you cum on his fingers and get back to work were his only intentions until you began to rub him through his pants. You smiled impishly as you simply ran your pointer finger over his bulge. You could feel his cock twitch when you finally reached the tip and circled over it. You were very shamelessly teasing him. Claude wouldn’t dare admit it but he liked it when you did this, he loved that quiet confidence you possessed as you worked him up with only a finger.

That’s why he didn’t pull your hand away when you pulled his cock out and started stroking making sure to go slowly. Precum trickled down his cock as you circled a thumb around the tip, smearing it all over the head. You looked up at him, a glint of playfulness in your eyes, silently asking for permission. He was only supposed to make you cum quickly before returning to work. That had already gone out the window, though. He slid your panties all the way down your legs as an answer.

You were on top of his desk, papers spread all over and spilling onto the floor. The embarrassing wet sounds of him filling your cunt over and over, seemed to almost echo. Of course, you were beyond caring, you felt no shame. Claude was holding you so tightly you thought there would be finger sized bruises left outside of your thighs. Still, you wished he would hold you tighter.

He wanted you so much he could eat you whole. His face was buried in your neck, kissing you, moans sending ticklish vibrations through you. He inhaled your scent that clouded his head, always made him feel tipsy. Your scent worked like an aphrodisiac. When you were gone, he'd scoop up your robe and inhale. He'd be hard in an instant and wishing he could be wherever you were.

You had your arms wrapped around him, so close you could hear his heartbeat. Claude's pace was slow, despite the urgency he felt. He fucked you deep, pressing the spot that made it impossible not to cry out over and over. With each thrust, you felt your insides becoming more drenched. This was something that did not escape Claude's notice as he reveled in the feeling of your slick cunt. He couldn't help but speed up, laughing a little at your gasps.

Your trembling hands bring Claude's face back to yours and you kiss, both of you moaning into each other's mouths. The sensation of his tongue in your mouth, his cock pressing against your walls, his hand snaked between your legs with his thumb kept pressed against your clit. It was getting to be too much. You begged him to cum inside you, like it was the only phrase you knew. At your begging, his control which was stretched paper thin, snapped. You felt so good, so wet, so tight, your pussy was fluttering and throbbing around him. And then there was this, you begging him in such a pretty voice. It was something that happened when you were within a hair breadth of cumming, you would mindlessly whisper in his ear and beg him.

Who was he not to oblige?

Even when you came, Claude didn't slow down at all. He relentlessly pounded into you, as you dug your nails into his back, as you cried out from overstimulation. Claude's skin was slightly sweaty, eyes trained on the sight of you coming undone before him. His lips were red from your kisses and parted. He looked fucking filthy. Pink, flushed cheeks were a good look for your Emperor. He always looked so calm, untouchable, indifferent before; It was nice to know you could make him like this. You made the most ungodly moans as he fucked you through your orgasm and his. He came a lot. So much that it dripped out of you and onto the desk.

Your entire body went slack. Your face was buried in his chest so you couldn't see him looking down at you with a grin. He rubbed your back, with one hand massaging your scalp the way he knows you love.

It was always like this, Claude always thought he would simply get you off but he was never able to control himself to that extent. Not when it came to you. You knew that and from the deepest part of you, you thoroughly enjoyed it. People always thought of you as the emperor’s woman but more than that, he was your man. You were the only person who could ever bend Claude in any direction. You influenced him in more ways that he was willing to admit. You never forced your whims on him, it came out his own desire to give to you.

You found out you were pregnant a few months later. It wasn't planned, you hadn't even spoken to Claude about children. You figured the topic was a sore subject. There was certain kind of tea that was used as a form of birth control. You had been using it every time you had sex and it had worked fine...until now, of course. You thought everything would be stable, at least for a time. You felt secure before but now, there was bound to be uncertainty, fear and anxiety. Even in the best case scenario, things would be stressful for both you and Claude, welcoming a new life into the world was no simple feat. It would break open old wounds, stir up new anxieties.

Although the pregnancy was sudden and unplanned, you wanted to have your child. Whatever happened, you wanted them. But you were worried about Claude’s reaction. You knew him and you knew he wouldn’t hurt you like you knew the sun would rise each day, what concerned you was how he would feel. The arrival of a child wasn't easy for any couple even without the complexities of Claude’s situation.

You didn’t know how to tell him. So you decided to be straightforward. What else could you do? It was late at night, when he went back to his bedroom. You told him as soon as he closed the door. He stilled for a moment. “What?” He asked. His voice was sharp.

"I'm pregnant" You said, calmly. You were prepared for the worse that could come of the situation. You had preemptively accepted whatever outcome would result. You were almost floating above everything, emotionally detached.

Claude was silent, his eyes wide, fists clenched and trembling. He wasn't even looking at you. For someone who didn't know him, his reaction could be perceived as rage but you had known him long enough to recognize it as fear. You would be a fool not to know why. Your emotions flooded back in as you watched him silently grapple with old fears renewed.

He needed reassurance. You stepped toward him. "Claude" You called, softly. You reached out and touched him, resting your hand against his cheek. "Claude." His eyes finally met yours, trying to appear stoic. "Nothing is going to happen to me, I feel sure of that. But even if something does, even if I should meet the same end, you need to know that I will never leave you. I'll be gone from your sight, that's all. I choose you, Claude, every single day; wherever I am, you will be a part of me." You began, voice soft as the whispering breeze. "The world, your world will continue on even if you can't see me. Even when I'm no longer a body, just a ghost living in your garden. You'll still have people who will need you can't let them down. Not again."

Claude heard the warmth in your words but your hand was shaking. Your face held a tender expression but there was also fear in your voice. You shared his fears, you prayed that he never had to experience what he'd already gone through, again. You didn't fear your death, you feared the impact. Claude was calmed, brought back to reality by focusing on your words. You chose him. The words made his heart sting. It always amazed him, the sincerity in your commitment to love him. He didn't deserve to be loved this way but that didn't mean that he didn't lean into it like a plant reaching for the sunlight. He had only been thinking of himself again when you were the one...the one who must have been more afraid.

He had thought he had gotten past it but he was still afraid. He would always be afraid. Maybe that was what part of loving something that could be touched by death was, being afraid. But he wasn't the only one. How could he have only thought of how desperate he was not to lose you? You were feeling just the same and yet you extended your hand to him. You comforted him when he should have been the one to do so. He took you into his arms, burying his face in your hair. "I'm...sorry" He said, awkwardly, as if the words didn't suit him. Before you, he was humbled. He was human. “I’m sorry” He said again, lips against the top of your hair.

Your eyes as you gazed at him were glossy and too pretty to disappoint. Whenever he looked you, he felt anxious knowing that he would give anything for you. It was a frightening feeling to know that there was potential for emotional ruin even greater than Diana’s death had caused. And it was out of his control whether you stayed or whether you went. Claude strived for control over his own life but this…he had to surrender to you. But before it could bring him any anger or melancholy, those eyes comforted him somehow. There was a certain peace that came with it, in knowing that however temporary your bodies were, there was permanence to what you had. What you had would outlast death, whether yours or his and even if that didn’t remove the fear, he felt appeased in that moment. Claude had always been slow to believe, hesitant and skeptical. But there was something convincing in your sincerity. What you believed is what he wanted to believe.

For the first time, Claude earnestly wished for something. He wished he could be the man he ought to be. He was better than he used to be, but it was still a work in progress. When you talked about him, you talked about what you saw in him and not what he used to be and he almost felt like maybe he could be the man he ought to be. As you rested against his chest, his scent and the sound of his heartbeat slowly calming you down, Claude ruminated on this.

He wanted to be what you needed, even if he had to wait. Even if it was hard. Even if sometimes he didn’t exactly understand what it meant to that person. Before your eyes, he wanted to be the man you could lean on. So that you could do whatever you wanted, get whatever you wanted, talk however you wanted and whatever messes you made, whatever emotions you felt, he’d clean it all up. He’d care for you in the way he knew how and he’d still be clumsy, blunt at times, but he would try. He would get better. Over and over and over again.