#and let me tell you in the dream the situation was MUCH more stressful than it is likely to be in real life

[theindefinitearticle]

I just want to write a quick love letter to my ADHD medication real quick. I finally got back on my correct ADHD medication and then had, no fucking joke, perhaps the most insane rollercoaster of a fortnight within fucking days of getting back on this prescription. If even half of the things that had happened to me in the past two weeks had happened in like, January (everyone's favourite mental breakdown month), when I was on an absurd alternate concoction invented through "idk, here's a bunch of scripts and just see what happens" pharmacist magic ("just call around. I don't know when it will be back in stock. Just keep calling places. Go up a dose. Go down a dose. Try both at once") because America says Australia isn't allowed any more of my medication 😤 no were being too greedy 😤😤😤

Went back on my correct dose, had the insanest two weeks of my life, and got through it only some problems. And with an ultimately positive view on the week and my performance in it. If this had happened in February you would have had to have me committed. I don't even know to what department but somebody would institutionalise me for something.

ADHD medication I love you 🥰

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too ♡

Note: this is not my post and it's blushydior's post that everyone been searching for, so i thought why not making it as a post,and blushy if you see this, please don't kill me i know you said that you'll change your post but you disappeared After that.

♡ table of contents:

1. the importance of making this post

2.my take on manifestation + the 3D

3. HOW I DID IT - my journey in 4 phases i went through that include my mindset changes up to the moment i got my desires 

4. your new rules & routine from this moment on

5. a note from me!

6. frequently asked questions: separated into topics regarding the 3D, self concept + miscellaneous questions to have you leaving this post stress free.

now let’s get into it. read every bit of this post “ ~ ୨୧ ♡ ·

I. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THIS POST

i’ve been through it all. you can read my experiences from old life in the “my life before” section of my success story + here, here, here and here. this is my success story on how the law of assumption has changed my life. as you can see from the “how” section of the post, i had purposely left it short, sweet and simple to avoid people complicating the simplicity of the law of assumption. but as time went on, anons and other blogs made me realize that since people do tend to over-complicate the law, the need i felt to make an in-depth post on how i personally manifested through my hard circumstances grew strong.

my blog often highlights topics that pertain to mental health, so i want to make sure those who find themselves in the same situations as i once were feel seen, heard and loved. you are all so powerful, amazing and hold so much potential more than you know. with this post, i hope i am able to help you realize that fact to the best of my abilities.

𝐈𝐈. MY TAKE ON MANIFESTATION + THE 3D

something that you’ll see me say all the time is: “life is a blank canvas.” that’s because it truly is.

remember that you are working with the law of assumption. what you assume to be true, is true. nothing is set in stone unless you say it is. things have meaning only if you assign it one.

you are the sole creator of your life. you are the artist that controls the brush/pen, you control what goes on and off of this very malleable canvas we call life. you don’t have to do anything. therefore,

you don’t have to: affirm 24/7, be specific, word your affirmations correctly, listen to subliminals, ignore the 3D, be positive all the time, meditate, have high vibrations, script, visualize, do sats or lullaby, go into the void, affirm in the present tense, avoid the mirror, etc.

you can literally say a random word like “bonk” and if saying it means you have all your desires or money is constantly filling your bank account, then that’s what will happen!

“but what if my subconscious doesn’t know what it means?” your subconscious mind is literally you. it’s not some stranger separate from you. if you want a scene to play out a certain way on a specific date or a romantic partner with all the most perfect qualities even if you can’t name it all at the top of your head, your subconscious has your back with the details! you have your own back. don’t worry.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO IGNORE THE 3D.

read that again and again and again and again and-if your circumstances are quite literally in your face, how can you turn the other way and ignore it? you could if you wanted but you’ll only be doing more harm and we don’t want that, right?

“so then what do i do?” you KNOW it’s going to change. it’s challenging when you don’t fully believe the law to know it’s going to change, so for a start, tell yourself that this is not the end. why? because the moment you had a desire and claimed it as yours, it has already been set stone in the 4D so the 3D has no choice but to reflect it. this is your movie, you KNOW this is not the end. you are director and star of this movie! you control how it’s going to play out.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. HOW I DID IT - The 4 Phases (more so, 3)

PHASE 1:

i found out about manifestation from tiktok. from there i have tried scripting, law of attraction and had taken a liking into the craft. i tried it all until i found out about the law of assumption, sammy ingram and finally, tumblr.

PHASE 2:

upon finding out about loassumption tumblr, i had learned more and more about the law but as time went on, i had realized i had never really fully tried to apply the law. the idea just didn’t come about to apply it. as many others, i had overconsumed information, always wondering if i was doing it right, questioning the 3D,

so i took a break. upon discharge, i realized many things and decided to spend an extended amount of time alone, away from social media. i’m someone who values alone time as long as if it’s spent wisely.

during this time away from tumblr and sns platforms in general, constantly surrounded by other people’s takes, information, and opinions, i had learned so much about the law of assumption on my own! i went into the law of assumption with a fresh mind, actually applying the knowledge and overtime of affirming and persisting, i ACTUALLY understood the meaning behind “creation is finished. it is done.”

i’m advising you to step away from social media (that on it’s own has negative impacts) and be alone with your thoughts. i know your thoughts haven’t had it’s time to be alone because you’re most likely constantly seeking information to help you. and i don’t blame you. it’s just that, you are always bombarded by thoughts that aren’t your own, you barely give some time to yourself to think for yourself!

and if you can’t help but be on tumblr for other reasons than loassumption, unfollow blogs for the time being, scroll past informational posts to avoid second guessing your application. tell yourself that

YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!

PHASE 3:

when it was time to apply the law, i simplified it. you choose what you desire, you affirm from your desire and persist. okay! got it. so that’s what i did. i affirmed whenever i thought about my desire, i kept saying that it is done! so in phase 2, i mentioned how i realized how creation was ACTUALLY done, right? before deciding to apply the law, i kept seeing posts saying that but i didn’t really fully understand it until the realization hit me during my time away from social media. (see? i love alone time. solitude is my bff) — here’s my breakdown for you:

once you decide a desire is yours to claim, THE SECOND you affirm that, in your head, imagination, your 4D, it is ALREADY yours. therefore, it has no choice to become physical reality. (this is why your subconscious only needs to hear things once in order for it to conform!)

it will always be yours for as long as you sustain that assumption (persist), it is yours! no matter what.

this is the meaning of “it is done.” it’s like telling a chef what dish you want, once they know what you want, they’ve got you covered. except that this chef is you. you know the details of your desire, you declare it’s going to conform instantly so why are you worrying? there is no need to worry.

informational post on the 4D + 3D here:

❝ If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses. To break this hypnotic spell of the senses you are told, "Go within and shut the door,” The door of the senses must be tightly shut before your new claim can be honored .Instead of fighting against the evidence of the senses you claim yourself to be that which you desire to be. As your attention is placed on this claim, the doors of the senses automatically close against your former master (that which you were conscious of being). As you become lost in the feeling of being (that which you are now claiming to be true of yourself) the doors of the senses once more open, revealing your world to be the perfect expression of that which you are conscious of being. ❞

i kept time away from social media and being persistent really helped me be aware of my thoughts.

persistence has helped me:

be aware of thoughts that i wouldn’t have been able to catch before. for example, i was declaring that i have all of my desires and creation was done, but i found myself affirming “okay but where is it?” — this made me realize i was questioning my desires in my 3D even though i knew it was done in the 4D. (you don’t have to do this, you can imply your 3D conforms fast with whatever affs)

flip and interrupt my intrusive thoughts faster and faster the more i persisted. i hated my intrusive thoughts so much. like it was so annoying and hurtful. it was filled with replaying past scenarios that happened to me, things i wished had played out differently, just people who absolutely did not deserve the right to be occupying my mind and space! so i was grateful to learn that with persistence, i started to have less and less of those.

(see!! mental diet, persistence!! <3 this is how habits form and strengthen duhh. remember not to abandon common sense for the law)

AND THEN, PHASE 4:

i had entered sabbath, the state of the wish fulfilled, calm and relaxation that my desire has already manifested and there wasn’t nothing left for me to do other than persist. after so much persisting and saturating my mind with my affirmations, i reached being peace with my desires. i’m really glad i persisted. see how after persistence of assumptions, though false, will harden into fact? see how even your affirmations would feel “fake” at first but will soon feel natural to you? this means that i wasn’t questioning where it was, how long it was taking, etc. but this doesn’t mean i was ignoring my 3D. i saw it all but i knew it was going to change BECAUSE i felt peace in my inevitable desires.

then, i received my desires.

❝ I couldn’t possibly be worried about anything if I really believe that imagining creates reality. ❞

❝ When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.” When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. ❞

𝐈𝐕. YOUR NEW RULES & ROUTINE

☆┆YOUR 3 NEW RULES ARE:

1, you have all your desires:

i have all of my desires.

creation is finished. it is done.

2. you manifest quickly and easily:

manifesting is always so easy and instant for me.

i always manifest within 2 days or less, the 3D conforms instantly.

the 3D instantly reflect my 4D.

the physical reality instantly reflects my 4D/imaginative reality.

3. you are okay because nothing can stop you from getting the inevitable:

everything is going to be okay because creation is done.

i am always aware of my thoughts. nothing can stop/get in the way of my desires.

no amount of intrusive thoughts, events and opinions of others have the power to stop my manifestations.

✉️: choose one affirmation from each list or make one of your own that makes you feel comfortable.

☆┆ROUTINE:

affirm on loop as an act of saturating your mind whenever you think of your desire until you feel satisfied,

in the morning, after you wake up: saturate your mind with affs.

read the manifesting vaunt below everyday (whenever you feel like it) — read it over and over again until you feel confident then go about your day!!

at night, before you sleep, affirm this:

“i kept all my thoughts in check today. i didn’t waver once. my mind is completely saturated with the new story.”

optional tip: if you want to saturate your mind even more as a start, you can set reminders with sticky notes around your space, have affs on your phone lock screen or wear a bracelet.

✉️ NOTE: soon enough, your mind will be saturated and you won’t need to do this anymore. this is just a start for those who battle intrusive thoughts!

let yourself feel any emotions that may come up because of your hard circumstances then once it’s out of your system, affirm your rules, especially rule #3!

do not consume any loassumption information if you know it will only cause you to second guess your ability. if you have the urge to ask a blog a question, try to make sense of what they will say and answer it yourself.

in times of doubt, remember that life is a blank canvas. your desire is set in stone, so your only task is to persist.

REASSURANCE VAUNT

creation is ACTUALLY finished. it is done. the second i claimed my desires as mine, it has already manifested itself in the 4D so it has no choice to present itself in the 3D! all i have to do is affirm and persist. i always have unwavering faith in my manifesting abilities and the law. i never fail. i am successful at every single thing i do. manifesting is so effortless. no amount of doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts or events can ever, and i mean EVER stop my manifestations. why? because i said so. this is MY life. i make the rules. so if i say i manifest easily, the 3D conforms instantly and that i have all of my desires, then it is a FACT. i’m literally unstoppable. everything i want is inevitable. my only task is to persist, sit back and relax as the 3D reflects my 4D. it all happens so fast, but what else do you expect from a master manifester like me?

SOMETHING TO NOTE:

most of the time, people think affirming on loop is saying it like a robot but what you don’t realize is that you’re affirming as if you’re reading a book. it’s not filled with enthusiasm but it’s not exactly monotone either. stop overthinking it. it’s like the voice you’re reading this post with. correct?

again, soon enough, your affirmations will feel natural and you won’t feel the need to affirm constantly. the routine above was given for those who battle intrusive thoughts, making your affirmations dominate to the point where you don’t waver.

QUOTES on STATES:

❝ I paid thirty dollars for my first suit. Today a suit will cost me $200.00, but regardless of the cost, when the suit is new I am aware of it. But let me wear it long enough for it to feel natural and I will no longer be conscious of it. The same is true for a state. You may desire the state of fame. If you will think you are famous and remain conscious of the state long enough to make it natural, as the thoughts flow from you they become a natural part of your body of beliefs, and the world will proclaim your fame. ❞

❝ I urge you to use your own wonderful creative power and deliberately move into the state of your choice. Make it now by occupying the state long enough so that it feels natural. Haven’t you had a suit of clothes that felt so new you were conscious of them every moment? I know when I bought my first suit I walked down Fifth Avenue thinking everyone I passed knew my suit was new. People passing paid no attention to me, but I was so aware, so conscious of my new suit. That’s exactly that happens when you move into a new state. If the state of affluence is new, you think everyone knows it, but no one knows or cares whether you are rich or poor, so walk in the state until it becomes natural. The moment the feeling is natural, wealth is yours! ❞

𝐕. ENDING NOTE

i love you. read that again. you can do it. read that again. i am so so so so proud of you. read that again! you are so strong, you have SOO much potential and power. it’s time for you to tap into it, angel. stop making excuses. stop telling yourself you can’t do it. stop the nonsense! you’ve dealt with your hard circumstances long enough, it’s time for you to turn to the person who can make that change (you) and make it happen. i’m really sorry you have to go through what you did. you certainly do not deserve the unkind treatment. give yourself a hug and tell yourself that this. is. it. you’re going to make the change. you know it and i do too. it’s possible. nothing is impossible for the person who believes! keep the faith in yourself. nothing can stop you.

it’s like those movies where the mc finds out they hold so much power. they doubt it because of the life they’ve had so far but once they give it a shot, they become the most powerful hero ever. you are that hero!!!

i love you and i am, again, giving you the biggestttt hug ever.

now, with that being said, @blushydior​ will no longer be taking asks regarding this topic. i’ve cleared most of the questions that could ever arise. you don’t need my guidance anymore after this post! im seeing you off now. i love you. stay safe. know that you’re loved and hold the power to change your life.

— kisses from bambi ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

ps. make sure you clicked the words that have links! <3 (the links are missing)

𝐕𝐈. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Something you wish you could’ve told yourself before you manifested it all to make things easier for anyone struggling:

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

you guys are beating yourself up for something so simple. take a step back and realize that. you’re already dealing with such hard circumstances, so why are you literally degrading yourself for something so within your power and reach? tell yourself everything is going to be okay. you’re always doing your best. you deserve the WORLD.

I could write a whole novel, combine all the posts on tumblr teaching the law of assumption, and every helpful ask out there but at the end of the day, YOU are the only person who could change your life. YOU make the call. turn every doubtful question to a positive one, when in doubt, turn inwards toward the 4D and know that it is real. it is done the second you affirmed it so.

SPEND TIME ALONE.

i can NOT stress this enough. i didn’t include the details of my time alone in phase 2 for nothing. you’ll see that you can answer your own questions. you’ll catch the thoughts you missed because you have always been so adamant on getting answers to questions you already knew. take a deep breathe and stay firm.

SEE WHAT’LL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE UP.

What did you affirm to get your dream life?

basically my affirmations i gave above and these. all i used were blanket affirmations.

What does persisting mean to you? What does persisting really feel like? Is it just like a mental diet? or what?

“persisting is sticking to what you want / the end no matter what you’re shown, told, and what you experience + picking yourself up after letting any negative emotions & thoughts pass by.” — blushydior from this ask here (sadly the link is missing:()

+ keeping your thoughts in line of the same category. to word this in a different way, i can affirm so many affirmations just as long as they mean the same thing to me!

“it also is a mental diet. we’re always persisting in something. it’s just a matter of what you’re persisting in. you either persist in your desire or negative/non-beneficial thought 24/7.”

“in your post about how you changed your life, you said you just affirmed and persisted. but from your other posts it seems like you read neville goddard books. so did you just affirm or did you do imaginal acts too? i get confused when people say “just affirm and persist” cause neville never said that.” (original ask here) (note from Eli: the link is missing).

“yes, i read his books and sometimes i would do imaginal acts but i would only do that bc it helped me get by my circumstances, yk? like if i was overwhelmed i would just daydream lol. its like how i read books to escape to another world. but i would say, affirming and persisting was what i focused more on.

i just used what worked for me and used his quotes as a reminder of the power of man. i didn’t want to bound myself to one’s teaching constantly worrying if im doing it “right” or not so instead, i went back to his quotes that consisted of telling me to persist, look inwards, finding confirmation in my imagination, etc whenever i needed a pick me up.

but correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure many of the success stories he shared consisted of people simply decreeing their desires and feeling the wish fulfilled simply by repetition and acceptance of their assumption.”

What is saturating your mind?

read about it here (the link is missing, but Basically it is repeating an affirmation every minute or hour until you feel fulfilled)

Do we have to believe our affirmations? Did you ever doubt the law in the process?

no, i did not believe my affirmations and YES of course i doubted the law but i kept persisting either way because what could i lose? and here i am.

Did you just affirm, persist, maintain a mental diet and that’s it? No SATS, going to the void, lullaby, repeating affirmations? Did you just got it sleep?

just affirming and persisting. sure, the occasional lullaby, i usually affirmed for 10 seconds max before i gave up. i couldn’t sleep without imagining some romantic scenario LOL #bambiexposed

How to deal with manipulation and narcissism?

remind yourself that you’re in advantage because you know about the law of assumption. life is a dream, you can literally have whatever you want just by affirming. if you know that, why allow yourself succumb to other people’s thoughts and beliefs? i couldn’t allow other people’s thoughts ruin my chance of living my dream life. the thought of it alone gave me the worst feeling.

How did you tackle the feelings of having no hope? + After being in the victim state for so long what did you do to get yourself out and actually stay out?

i persisted on loop whenever i doubted the law. i reminded myself that it doesn’t hurt to just be quiet, affirm and persist to live my dream life. just do it. you gain nothing from turning back to your old habits. see what’ll happen if you don’t give up. ❝ Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith! ❞ ❝ Objects seem so independent of our perception of them that we incline to forget that they owe their origin to imagination.❞

What was the timeframe of when you got your desires?

about a week after deciding to be strict with self discipline, mind you, i was dealing with hard circumstances and intrusive thoughts for years. within this time span, i had entered sabbath so i immediately got my desires.

How did you kept a positive mindset when it looked like there was no movement?

refer back to phase 3

What was your affirming routine?

AT FIRST, when i started to get sick of overconsumption and not getting my desires, i knew my mind wasn’t saturated/my desires were not my dominant thoughts. so, i decided to be strict with myself. i reminded myself with pieces of paper in my room that said: ❝ PERSIST. new story only!❞ ❝ AFFIRM!❞

❝ 1.) the 3D conforms instantly.

2.) AFFIRM THE DESIRED

3.) BE LOT.❞

and taped them on the wall infront of my bed & one on my door so i can see it before i head out.

i didn’t need them anymore after a few days. (phase 3 & 4)

What did you do on all the days you woke up and things were still the same?

stop affirming that you don’t see results. i flipped the thought of “nothing’s changed.” to “i am in my desired reality, it is done.” and so on. be stern and remind yourself that you are in control. don’t fall prey to the 3D. turn inwards, find confirmation in the 4D. read quotes above.

How did you not react to the 3D?

i allowed myself to be angry. if i wanted to cry, i did. if i wanted to vent, i did. i ranted my feelings out in my head, aloud or in a journal then proceeded to go back to the new story after i cooled down.

But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?”

you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. i ranted for 2% of my 24 hour days. the other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and i felt more at ease. i held onto that feeling because i knew this was when i would get my desires and i did. letting out and actually feeling your feelings is important. you’re not a robot.

Did you script how your life would be?

no.

(.𖥔 ݁ note from Eli: here's her post about her life before and After she changed it with LOA, anyway i wanted to make it in a post since the Google document can't let you make a copie of it and plus you can't take screenshots which René didn't allow)

[nottsangel]

hello !! what was ur dreaam !!

a drabble based on my mattheo and enzo dream cause it’s way more fun than just telling you guys about it :]

you aren’t quite sure how you ended up in this particular situation— you try to think back, but the last thing you recall is watching awfully bad horror movies with your two best friends while drinking a few beers. so how the fuck did you end up with each one of them on either side of you, their naked bodies pressed close against yours?

“i— i can’t fucking control myself much longer.” enzo groans breathlessly against the soft skin of your neck from behind, aggressively sucking dark hickeys into your skin. his strong hands are gripping your hips so tightly, as if to compose himself.

“you think i can?” mattheo growls from in front of you, gazing down at you with those pretty brown eyes that seem to have turned even darker now as they hungrily scan every inch of your naked body— his best friend’s naked body.

and fuck, you’re right there with them— you feel every ounce of self-control you had left gradually slipping away, with the undeniable ache between your legs only growing, your body practically trembling with desire.

but it shouldn’t be like this. you promised each other that nothing would ever happen between you— the friendship meant too much to risk. yet here you are, both their hands roaming eagerly over your naked body as you feel their painfully hard erections pressed against your ass and stomach.

“shit. you’re so… so fucking hot.” enzo whispers right into your ear from behind, his hands roughly squeezing your tits and his fingers toying with your sensitive nipples, causing you to let out a desperate, breathy gasp.

you feel the tip of his cock prodding insistently against your thighs, his slick precum warm and wet against your skin— but then his erection suddenly finds its way between them, the grip on your hips tightening even further as he lets out a throaty hiss of pleasure at the sensation, slowly thrusting his cock between your legs.

“enzo!” you call out, a mix of worry and uncertainty lacing your voice, your brows furrowed in concern.

“shhh, don’t stress, pretty girl. i’m not fucking you, am i?” he casually replies with a playful smirk, but his soothing tone instantly calms you down, because he’s right— he isn’t fucking you. this is… fine.

“you’re so fuckin’ cute when you get all stressed.” mattheo teases from before you, your attention instantly shifting back to him. your eyes lock with his as your hands find their way to his broad, muscular shoulders, steadying yourself against enzo’s sloppy thrusts, your mind clouded with both alcohol and desire. you feel enzo’s cock rubbing right against your soaked cunt, and fuck, it’s driving you absolutely insane.

mattheo’s wandering hand then moves down to your core, followed by his fingers slowly rubbing your sensitive, swollen clit, causing your eyes to flutter shut in pure ecstasy. your intoxicated state only heightens the pleasure, your legs trembling helplessly as enzo’s throbbing cock continues to move back and forth between them, your slick arousal dripping down all over it.

“does that feel good, baby? hmm?” mattheo taunts, his fingers pressing harder against the bundle of nerves, causing your nails to dig into the skin of his shoulders as you hum in response, desperately trying to hold yourself up. your hand slowly travels down mattheo’s body until it reaches his aching cock, and he lets out a soft groan the moment you wrap your fingers around it, pumping it faster and faster.

loud, pornographic moans fill the room, and with the pleasure between the three of you only building with each passing second, it’s clear that it’s not a matter of if someone will break, but who will break first…

ੈ♡˳

reminder: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and keep me motivated. ty! ♡

[beeseverywhen]

I know this is not the angle you're going at this from but this, is my irrational fear. I think about it all the time. I love knowing how things work and so over the years I've spent quite a lot of time learning how various things work. Usually in a dream, I imagine myself living either in a post apocalyptic society or time traveling and getting stuck in the past and having to live there knowing how all these things that make my life easier work but having no way to recreate them. Often the whole dream is me spending forever dealing with that. No-one understands me. I know how a washing machine works, if I had the parts I could build one, but I'm stuck with my hand in a bucket of lye soap day in day out scrubbing cause I can't explain it well enough to anyone so we can try and recreate it. Lighting. Heating. Music if there's no musicians about. So many foods I couldn't cook without the right equipment or ingredients. Charcoal is horrible to write with, what if I couldn't explain to anyone how to make a pencil. Transport. Medicine. Does anyone see where I'm going with this?

an important aspect of modern life is that none of us can function alone. we all rely on things we ourselves could not create, and which would not even be viable to exist if it werent for economies of scale. and its not just that some things are like this, *most* things are like this. almost everything is like this. even clothes are like this! trying to make a single article of modern clothing, from start to finish, without buying products someone else manufactured at any stage, would be totally impossible

but thats material constraints. you could certainly *understand* every part of the clothing making process. and this is true of most manufactured products, before like, 1970. but with the rise of computer technology, even that isnt true anymore! for any practical consumer device, nobody in the world understands every part of its functioning. its got decades of accumulated knowledge, in pure abstracted form, bound up in its wiring. a computer is a machine that uses fossilized human knowledge as its gears, and its too big for the human mind

[dreamscapeee222]

Vi Headcannons

Vi x reader

Masterlist

Vi loves curling up with you after a long day, making sure you're comfortable and always having your back. After a tough day, she’ll hand you a hot drink and give you a soft smile, her way of making sure you're taken care of.

She shows her love through actions—like making sure you have everything you need or surprising you with small gestures like fixing something for you or leaving a note in your pocket. Sometimes, she'll leave a little treat on your pillow, letting you know she’s thinking of you.

Vi is fiercely protective of you, keeping you close in dangerous situations and always ensuring you're safe. When she feels especially protective, she’ll pull you close and softly tell you, “Stay close,” her voice calm and reassuring.

She loves teasing you, challenging you to races, cracking jokes, and making sure you both enjoy lighthearted moments. If she wins, she’ll laugh and say, “What’s the matter, getting slow on me?” Then, she’ll pull you into a hug, showing it's all in good fun.

Vi loves quiet nights together, wrapped up in each other's arms. After you steal her hoodie, she’ll give you a teasing smile before pulling you into a cuddle, her arms holding you close as you both relax.

Vi might not always say "I love you," but her eyes speak volumes, and she comes to you for support when she’s unsure, valuing your opinion above all. In moments of vulnerability, she’ll rest her head on your shoulder, murmuring her gratitude.

She’s your biggest cheerleader, encouraging you to pursue your dreams and offering a pep talk when needed. “You’ve got this,” she’ll say with a proud smile, watching you take on new challenges with confidence.

Her gestures of affection—like a hand on your back, a squeeze of your hand, or a kiss on the forehead—speak volumes about how much she cares. Even without many words, her presence is always comforting.

It can be hard but Vi will be willing to admit when she’s wrong and apologizes because your trust matters more than her pride. After a rough patch, she’ll pull you close, showing that her love for you always outweighs her pride.

In the middle of a quiet moment, Vi might reach for your hand without saying anything, her thumb gently tracing over your skin as she enjoys the peace with you. It's simple, but you both know what it means—comfort and closeness without needing words.

When she notices you're stressed, Vi will offer a reassuring touch, maybe rubbing your back or brushing a strand of hair from your face. She'll just say, “Breathe, cupcake,” and the weight of the world feels a little lighter when you're in her arms.

Vi loves those little moments of intimacy, like when she kisses you softly on the forehead, brushing your hair out of your eyes after a long day. It’s her way of showing affection without fanfare, just you and her in the quietest of spaces.

Sometimes, when the world is still, you and Vi will sit together in the dark, talking about everything and nothing. These quiet, late-night conversations allow you both to open up in a way you don’t with anyone else—no barriers, no rushing.

Vi can’t help but linger when she’s close to you, whether it’s her hand resting on your shoulder or her fingers brushing against yours. She’ll act like it’s nothing, but you know it’s just another way for her to show she’s right there with you.

After a long, rough day, when you’re feeling down, Vi might pull you into her lap, her arms wrapping around you tightly, as if she’s shielding you from the world. She’ll hold you there, not saying anything but offering all the warmth and protection you need.

"It'll be alright, cupcake. I promise."

While teasing you, Vi will pull you closer in a quick, unexpected hug, squeezing you tight before letting go with a grin. It's a mix of affection and playfulness, showing she loves being around you no matter the mood.

Sometimes, when you’re not paying attention, Vi will catch your gaze, her eyes soft and filled with love. She won't need to say a word; that look alone speaks volumes about how much she adores you, even in silence.

She loves you so much and as far as you know, there is nothing that will separate you from each other.

Requests may be sent. Only SFW.

[missbunnybunny]

❣💌[ I'm stravin' , Darlin' ]💌❣

Tw: non-con, dubcon, yandere, stalking, Somnophilia, Drugging, breeding, cockwarming.

A/n: this is my first detailed smut. It was going well at the start until I took a wrong turn and fell off a cliff. Possessive music got influence. I don't know what I wrote, am going to hell, his more delusional; than me. smh. ENJOY!

Note: this is a y/n x pretty yandere, female-bodied reader. Based on the songs Eat Your Young by Hozier and An Unhealthy Obsession by Blake Robinson, helped write this song. pet names such as Darlin, Love, and good girl. If I forgot something plz tell me.

╔═.✧ 🖤 ✧.═══════════╗ ▶︎ 𝕾𝖍𝖊’𝖘 𝖘𝖔 𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖎 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖛𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊. ╚═══════════.✧ 🖤 ✧.═╝ Part 2 ↥

You were exhausted. Who could blame you for being tired? You enjoyed your job as the owner of a small coffee shop, but you were drained, and your staff adored you.

When they had an emergency, you were incredibly nice to them and understanding. You didn't inquire. You just told them not to worry because you trusted them and they trusted you.

You didn't hesitate to assist your staff when an aggressive customer screamed and yelled at them. You listened to all sides of the story and kept your eyes on the cameras.

When they realized they didn't have a foothold, you politely requested them to go. But if they weren't kind enough to go, you merely called the cops. You would never let them get away with it; you had patience, but not that much.

So, after the day was done, you secured your doors and walked upstairs to your house. You double-checked that all the doors and windows were secured and that the security system was turned on and operational.

Taking a soothing bubble bath, dressing, and preparing for some much-needed rest. Closing your eyes and basking in the warm embrace of sleep. Your eyes slowly opened, and you attempted to move your fingers, but they wouldn't budge.

You had been under a lot of stress recently due to overwork, and sleep paralysis was now typical for you.

You could hear your door opening and the floors squeaking. The ebony form of a guy appeared. He was tall, and the broadness of his shoulders suggested that he worked out.

As you felt the bed drop at your feet, he sat at the end of it. His hand began to go up and down your leg gently. Coming to a halt at your thigh. He hummed to himself while pinching your inner thigh.

You uttered a grunt. He came to a halt and gazed up at you. As he peered down at your face, his face slowly entered the frame. "Oh, how pretty," he said, lovingly cupping your face. "I don't think I could hold myself back." H

is breath lightly fanning your face, he murmured. He kissed you, and you let out a frightened moan and screwed your eyes shut. He took advantage of the situation by inserting his tongue inside your mouth.

While squeezing your inner thigh, he hummed to himself. His hand creeps up and beneath your shirt from your thigh. He pulled your nipple and squeezed your breast.

He linked his mouth to yours with a thin string of saliva. He licked his lower lip. "You taste amazing," he replied with a smile.

He kissed your lips once more, and you felt him get out of bed. You sprang awake and took a glance around. Your clothing was in good condition and not flung around.

You raced to your restroom and looked in the mirror; there were no handprints anywhere on you. You rushed to your front door, terrified, and examined your alarm system; nothing was amiss. You were befuddled, and your thinking was jumbled.

You summarized it up to well: an odd wet dream, stress, and being punted up may all lead to unusual nightmares, especially when combined with sleep paralysis.

You sipped your favorite comfort drink, rubbed your temples, and took a few deep breaths. Exhale a sigh of relief as you feel your tension wash away.

You put on your business attire and prepare to open your shop. The business opened at 8 a.m., so you were there by 6:30, and by 7 a.m., staff began to arrive.

Everyone was having a fantastic time in the shop, which was filled with laughter and music. When the clock struck eight, you laughed, "It's eight, you know what to do. Hit it!"

Everyone queued up got into place, and you opened the store. Customers arrived quickly after that.

When a well-dressed man entered and approached the counter, your staff was busy. As you finished serving one of your usual clients, you noticed him and called, "I'll be with you in a minute."

"Thank you, hun." The kind old lady stated. You smiled at her and walked over to the counter to assist the man. "I'm sorry, did I keep you waiting too long?" you said as you set up the ordering machine.

"No, not at all." He informed you in hushed tones, he was attractive, you had to admit it. His voice seemed strangely familiar to you, but you couldn't place it.

But you shrugged it off and smiled as you asked him what he needed.

"A coffee with a cake," he answered politely. "Ah, what cake would you like sir, we have many options." you beam up at him, giving him a tiny smile. "Oh, what would you recommend, my dear?" he asks, quietly tapping the counter.

"Would red velvet cake be acceptable?" "It's one of my favorites," you inquired. He nodded, and you concluded his order with a small 'mm'. " Would that be all, sir?" "If so, this is your total," you say, pointing to the sum on the side of the register. " Yes." He responded and paid.

As soon as the order appears on the screen, one of your staff takes it while you assist with the other tasks and clients. Since the front of the store was fully filled, the man was directed to the back.

He could see the counter and you from where he was seated. The manager patted you on the shoulder and smiled at you as they spoke to you. You chuckle and smile as you remove your apron.

"I'm taking a break, everyone," you say. 'Okay, ma'am,' they respond. You step away from the counter and take a seat on one of the unoccupied stools close to his table. While on the phone with someone, you smile and giggle.

He can't stop staring at you. It was fortunate that he instructed his assistant to investigate you. He even postponed a lunch date with the daughter of a well-known corporation.

He didn't mind because he could tell she was attempting to catch his attention. He couldn't care less about how much her clothing cost or how it 'accidentally' revealed her chest. He'd rather be here, staring at your face and grin.

It was a coincidence that he first spotted you; one of his clients requested to meet at this cafe since they genuinely enjoyed your coffee and sweets. He couldn't get your face out of his mind and thoughts after that.

Your phone call had finished, and you turned to meet his gaze. You froze as you studied his face. He saw the fact and grinned.

You realized he hadn't touched his cake and sighed in despair. "Do you not like the cake, Sir?" You questioned him quietly, your gaze fixed on the plate. "Oh, no, it's not like that. "I was saving the cake for last because it was so delicious." He let you know quietly.

"Oh, okay," you said as you stood up and turned around. "Would you like to join me?" he offered, and you graciously accepted his invitation.

You spoke till your break ended. He became a regular client after that and frequently asked about your favorite treats to try.

It had been months since then, yet you still felt tired whenever you saw him. He was the final customer in the shop on one such occasion.

You sent your employees early, not wanting to keep them waiting so they didn't miss their bus or train.

"It's closing time, Mister Blackwell; you should go home," you said. "I told you to call me James, Darling." He told you firmly. " However, I agree. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you." While drinking his drink, he informed you.

"Would you mind joining me before I leave?" He remarked this while pointing to the seat next to him. you exclaimed, "You are extremely persistent." You shook your head and set your favorite drink on the table.

Turning around and laying a little slice of cake next to your drink. You had no idea what he had placed into your drink by the time you sat next to him. He grinned as you took a sip of your drink, seeing your expression shift.

He watched as your eyes gradually closed and you collapsed on the table, spilling your cup on the floor. "What…did you do?" You questioned him carefully, feeling yourself nodding off. "Don't worry, my love, I'll take care of you."

As you eventually slid away, you heard him declare. You wake up with him twirling his tongue at your clit, then cat licking your entrance, going back and up to your clit, before his tongue went into your pussy, tasting every inch of it.

You eventually let out a whimper as the knot in your gut finally split and you filled his mouth with your cum. "You're awake, I hope you don't mind," he whipped his mouth with his palm. "I was dying to taste you." He stated.

His gaze moved up and down your body, forming an image of you in his mind. You attempted to speak, but all you got was a broken wail. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness, and you were entirely bare to him.

Your eyes began to water, and silent tears streamed down your cheeks. " Why are you crying, Darlin?" He stated this as he licked your tears away before giving you a ravenous kiss, His tongue quickly claiming your mouth.

He released your lips as he stated, "It will take a while until you can move again, but don't worry, I'll make you feel good." He gently graded your hand before bringing it to the bulge on his pants.

"This is what you did to me." He talked as he stroked your palm up and down his bulge, letting out a groan as he began to accelerate.

He stared down at you, hungry, and proceeded to remove his outfit. He was now entirely exposed for you to see. " Oh, very lovely. I'm curious how you'll look after I slit you in half on my dick." He murmured this as he sank his thick fingers into your pussy, causing your back to arch.

When he noticed your body jerked up and your jaw fell open, he smiled even more.

He discovered your sweet spot! He curled his fingers in the same place over and over. You felt that familiar tight knot in your gut emerges, prompting you to tighten your walls around his fingers.

"That's it, cum on my fingers like the good girl you are," he said. Your walls flutter subconsciously at his words, "Oh, you like being called a good girl?" he questioned, advancing faster.

Your moans and whimpers sounded like music to his ears. He was itching to sink his dick into you. You came undone under him with one more stroke, cumming on his fingers and hand.

He took his hand away and brought it up to his mouth, licking your juices. "You taste divine." He exhaled.

He positioned himself at your entrance, tapping his dick on your assaulted lips. He graded your legs and pushed them on your chest in a typical mating press position, and you could plainly see his pink tip and how enormous he was.

Once he got you the way he wanted you, you felt the swelling tip of his cock press against your tight entrance and buckle his hip. He bottoms out in one push, his pelvis colliding with your entrance.

He took your breath away since he was so large. And, as he claimed, he was splitting you in half with his dick. "Don't pass out on me, Darlin," he remarked, softly patting your cheek with his palm." The fun is just getting started," he remarked as he kissed you on the lips.

Allowing you to get used to his size before proceeding. You were so tight! And you are his and his alone.

His cock began to slide in and out of your tight pussy, as if you were nothing more than a fleshlight at his disposal. "Y/n I'm going to make you only mine," your desperate cries mixed with groans as you sought to stop him.

The sound of skin smacking against skin got louder as he thrust harder and harder. Your muscles were absolutely spasming, and your eyes could hardly fixate or focus on his sweat-splattered face above you.

So this was how it felt to be with a man like him, putting you precisely where you should have always been.

BELOW HIM, you were groaning, saliva flowing from the corners of your lips, and your eyes rolled up every time his cock brushed your cervix and his pelvic bone stroked against your swollen clit.

Your eyes met his and he kissed you passionately; the longer the two of you kissed, the more his hips appeared to press into yours. The headboard of the bed was crashing fiercely into the wall, adding yet another obscene sound to the symphony.

You could feel his dick pounding against your walls; it was clear he was nearing his climax, which was going to totally fill you up to the point of leaking, and then fuck a baby into your womb.

As he furiously pounded into you, his hands came to your waist and had a tight grasp on you. You felt James base expand and get even bigger only seconds before his hot sperm was spurting into your womb, and the veins surrounding his dick were pulsating against your walls, making you gasp for the nth time.

The sensation of being totally filled was so intense that you almost ended up cumming again.

He lay down next to you, panting and allowing you to collect your breath. As your body was extremely sore, he began spooning you from behind his cock, still inside you.

"Sleep, Love, you must be tired," he kissed your neck. I'll prepare something for you in the morning." You were exhausted, and your half-lined eyelids eventually closed as you slept off. James grabbed up his phone and called over your sleeping figure.

The phone rang till someone answered, "Ray?" "Did you do what I asked?" he inquired calmly. "Yes, I made sure to delete the footage of you breaking into the home months ago, as well as the alarm system," Ray stated gently. "Perfect," James smiled, hanging up the call as he fell asleep next to you.

After so long of only admiring you from afar and secretly stroking you as you slept, he was overjoyed to finally hold you in his arms.

Don't worry, you can have a better life because He will take excellent care of you. "It'll take some getting used to, but we'll make it work." were his final thoughts as he fell asleep affectionately sound asleep with you in his arms.

Am gonna dig a hole and hide. bye....👩🏽‍🦯

Update there’s a new hole to hide in now 🕳️ 👩🏽‍🦯

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE august edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the august catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. a magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.

WHAT UR DREAMS REVEAL ABOUT YOU ;

have u ever woken up from a vivd dream and thought "what does that even mean?" yeah same. so i decided to dive into this for this catalog and here's what i found. dreams represent unconscious desires and wishes. we have dreams that mirror our emotional state.

three of the most common dreams that people have are falling, being chased, and dying. which are all inherently negative things. when u dream of falling, it shows a loss of control over an important situation. when u dream of being chased, thats ur brains way of telling u that ur stressed out. and when u dream of dying, it could represent a part of you that is dying or something you'd like to escape. 

and dreams about death are the most scary to me cuz i have MASSIVE fear of death but there are more than just negative dreams. usually my dreams consist of things that radiate positivity, or my dreams can be flat out weird. either way, if i remember my dreams i like to write them down and yap about them with my friends.

HAIR HEAVEN ;

i thought that since its leo season and leo's have the BEST hair its only right that hair is the topic of this month's beauty section. so im going to focus on talking about styling, treatments and general care.

how you style ur hair is SO super important to ur whole vibe and aesthetic. hair styles look different on everyone for a multitude of reasons but one of the most obvious is that people have different face shapes and different styles are flattering on different faces.

remember, u dont have to get the same haircut as ur favorite celeb bcuz its so much more cute and original when u get ur own haircut…💬🎀

now unto hair treatments. hair treatments are so important to keep ur hair healthy and lustrous and just well taken care of. so im going to give some hair mask and treatment recipes to keep ur hair healthy and radiant…💬🎀

now finally lets talk about some general tips to keep ur hair gorgeous and lovely on a day to day basis.

♡ use scrunchies instead of elastics when u can to avoid putting strain on ur hair

♡ incorporate collagen into ur diet with supplements or vitamins because its rly rly good for hair skin and nails

♡ when using heat on ur hair, use a heat protectant and try not to apply heat to ur hair on a daily basis

AUGUST MUSIC ;

this month i've really been listening to CHECK by the girl group FLO and let me just say, that song is an absolute MASTERPIECE. the music video was amazing. i love love the cinematography and the concept cuz its super hyper girly just like me and the girls looked so amazing and beautiful.

one of my favorite albums that also dropped this month was latto's sugar honey iced tea album. latto is so so talented and gorgeous and she rly ate down with this album so i highly recommend it to anyone who's been thinking about giving it a listen. my favorite songs on the album are shrimp & grits, look what u did and S/O to me.

BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON ;

for a lot of us, its back to school season and its the time to kind of transition from summer -> into the school year SO here are 5 tips on how to seamlessly transition from ur hot girl summer into a successful school year…💬🎀

♡ get urself an established routine

get urself an established routine 2 weeks before u start cuz the earlier u start ur routine, the quicker it'll be for it to become a habit. adjust ur sleep schedule by sleeping a little earlier, and going to bed at a reasonable time.

♡ reflect and write down some goals

reflect on ur last school year, what u did good and what u did not so good and based on that formulate a couple goals that u can commit to and hold urself accountable to so that then ur making progress thats trackable.

♡ be organized

organize ur notion, ur space, ur school bag EVERYTHING. organization is so crucial especially for school and can protect u from feeling overwhelmed and cluttered.

♡ brief review

im not the kind of person that like summer work, in fact i hate it. but a week or two before school starts i'll do a quick refresh or research the classes that im going to be taking to kind of set myself up for success.

♡ fix ur attitude

stay POSITIVE and dont take on a bad approach to this school year before you've even started. believe in urself, ur discipline and ur abilities and stay in a good mindset.

i have lots of back to school content planned still that hasn't dropped including studying, resources etc so that we can slay this school year…💬🎀

BACK TO SCHOOL FASHION ;

details for back to school fashion/academic princess style :

♡ plaid

♡ grey, pink, black and white color scheme

♡ collared shirts and jackets

♡ pleated mini skirts

♡ sweaters

♡ headbands

♡ knee/thigh high socks

long bouncy curls with a headband that matches something on ur outfit. ballet flats and leg warmers. baby pink gloss and square shaped french tips, delicate necklaces and bracelets…💬🎀

when i think of pink academia fashion the first person that comes to my brain is cher from clueless. here are some of her most princess academia moments in the movie.

cher emphasizes literally everything i've talked about in the pink princess school fashion scheme. the pretty socks, fluffy pens, collared shirts and pink->white->grey color scheme. even the way that she does her hair is very very pretty and flattering.

WHATS MY HOROSCOPE (AUGUST 25-31) ;

♡ you’re the star of the show this month, virgo! it all begins on august 4th with a leo new moon that awakens your zone of spirituality. you could be focused on sacred release to clear space, welcoming in new beginnings. confidence is cultivated through deep soul-searching. on the same day, venus enters your sign, bringing a boost to your energy, creative projects, and style. mercury stations retrograde, also in virgo, encouraging self-reflection.

♡ for aries, it’s an exciting month ahead! the action begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of pleasure, inviting you to follow your passions! a playful approach in romance and creativity can inspire new beginnings that feel fun and stress-free. on the same day, venus enters virgo and visits your sector that rules self-care, encouraging you to embrace healthier habits. In the evening, mercury goes retrograde in virgo, signaling a time for you to get centered.

♡ for taurus, it’s an emotionally powerful month. it all begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of intuition, bringing major insights that lead you to new beginnings. with your environment in the spotlight as well, you might use this time to beautify your living space, pulling in bold animal prints and patterns. later in the day, love planet venus enters virgo, activating your zone of pleasure. take a practical approach to love, money, and creativity. then, mercury stations retrograde in virgo, urging you to release perfectionism and rest.

♡ for gemini, his month is full of connection! the magic starts on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your communication sector, inspiring you to shine your light, share your ideas, and express yourself. leo’s passion blends with the fresh slate of the new moon to bring you an exciting new path to explore. later, venus enters virgo, awakening your intuition so you can manifest! mercury stations retrograde in virgo as the evening comes to a close, marking a period of rest and awareness.

♡ for cancer, success is yours this month! it all begins on august 4th, when the new moon in leo visits your money zone, inspiring you to share your talents and build up your resources. the bold expression of your skills impresses others and serves as a beautiful boost of confidence for you too! you’ll crave more meaningful conversations when venus enters virgo, awakening your communication sector. mercury stations retrograde in virgo at the end of the day, signaling a time of required pause.

♡ for leo, it’s an expansive month! the excitement starts on august 4th, when a new moon in your sign ignites a path to new beginnings. you’re stepping into the most confident version of yourself! set intentions for the future with courage and inspiration. on the same day, venus enters practical virgo and visits your financial sector, helping you organize money matters and work projects. mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, encouraging you to embrace stress reduction and physical relaxation.

♡ for libra, it’s an enlightening month ahead, libra! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your friendship sector and invites you to step into the social spotlight. you could be making plans with friends or passionately helping others. set intentions for the future and remember that dreams do come true! venus enters virgo later to help you get grounded as you explore your emotional realm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo that night, highlighting the importance of practicality.

♡ for scorpio, prepare for a month of empowerment! the leo new moon on august 4th inspires you to showcase your talents. by doing so, important people take notice and doors of opportunity open. don’t be afraid to courageously share your expertise. venus enters virgo later in the day, enhancing your powers of negotiation as well as your charm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo before the day ends, signaling a need for patience.

♡ for sagittarius, it’s an adventurous month! the fun begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon lights up your travel zone, encouraging you to explore on physical, intellectual, and spiritual levels. embrace new beginnings that bring abundance into your life. venus enters virgo on the same day, inviting in well-deserved acknowledgment and opportunity. mercury stations retrograde in virgo, asking you to review your long-term commitments and responsibilities.

♡ for capricorn, it’s a month of personal growth, capricorn! the leo new moon on august 4th awakens your zone of transformation and brings change. you could be healing your relationship with money or crafting a plan to tackle debt. when you surrender into evolution, manifestations become reality. venus enters virgo later and lands in your adventure zone. seek out experiences that feel fun, expansive, and abundant. mercury goes retrograde in virgo before the night ends and asks you to slow down.

♡ for aquarius, your relationships are highlighted this month, aquarius! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your relationship zone and opens new paths in love. create heart-led manifestations and enjoy quality time connecting with others. venus enters virgo on the same day and visits your sector of intimacy, encouraging you to bond beyond the physical plane. communicate with care when mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of potential misunderstandings and snafus.

♡ for pisces, get ready to fall in love this month, pisces! it begins with the leo new moon on august 4th that encourages you to love the most important person of all: you! this is the time to take excellent care of your mind, body, and soul so you can feel rejuvenated. venus enters virgo the same day, activating your relationship zone. strengthen your bonds! mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of healing.

CELEBRITY GOSSIP - BLAKE LIVELY ;

this month the movie "it ends with us" was released starring blake lively and justin baldoni and it has been gaining LOTS of traction on the internet for a multitude of reasons. i haven't been to watch the movie yet but if u have, tell me how it was!

the reason why im going to be talking about this in the celebrity gossip section is because of the fiasco blake lively and how out of touch she is…💬🎀

blake is getting called out for how shes been acting during her press tour for it ends with us and her past actions and behaviors that rly showcase how tone deaf she is. the movie is based on the book it ends with us that was written by colleen hoover, and in the book it explores topics such as domestic violence, emotional abuse etc. because of the serious nature of the movie, her saying "grab ur friends, wear ur florals" was a tone mismatch.

a clip of her is going viral where she was asked by the interviewer on, what was the best way someone who understands the themes of the movie, could talk to her. and she responds with literal sarcasm. leaving everyone confused and kind of put off. furthermore during the filming for the movie about literal DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. she launches a haircare brand. which could just be unfortunate timing but i feel like with how good marketing is, this wasn't a coincidence but thats just my opinion.

the last thing i wanna talk about is an interview a while back when blake was pregnant. the interviewer congratulated her saying "congrats on ur little bump" which is so sweet. blake responds "congrats on YOUR little bump" which was SO uncalled for because one, the lady wasn't pregnant and two, the lady literally couldn't have kids. throughout the interview blake just continued to be absolutely obnoxious, ignoring the interviewers questions and just being such a horrible guest.

anyways i'd love to hear ur thoughts and opinions on this situation in the comments and if ur kinda curious about the celeb gossip i recommend watching this video bcuz d'angelo rly explains everything well.

STYLE DISSECTION MARILYN MONROE ;

marilyn monroe is an absolute ICON and legend in literally every form of the word. shes an amazing role model and something that i rly rly love about her is ur style and her beauty which is why im doing this month's style dissection on her…💬🎀

one of my favorite marilyn monroe outfits was her gorgeous deep burgandy silky dress in the film how to marry a millionaire. in this film we get the ICONIC diamonds are a girls best friend and honestly they're right. marilyn sports GORGEOUS diamond jewelry in this movie that rly tie her outfits together and give the air of luxury and opulence that is so so hard to recreate which is why no one can do it quite like marilyn.

marilyn rly made the iconic 1950s glam what it was. everything from her signature platinum blonde bob to her gorgeous, feminine allure. in her film gentlemen prefer blondes shes wearing an absolutely stunning orange dress that shows off her body. it has a super flowy mermaid cut at the bottom which compliments the snugness of the dress around her waist, hips and chest.

i could talk for HOURS about the fashion icon that marilyn monroe is but we dont have that kind of time in this years august issue of the it girls magazine…💬🎀

[thezombieprostitute]

Imagine this:

accountant!reader x IT tech!Jensen x manager!Andy x CEO!Lloyd

The intent was to write something short and sweet but smutty. The result is approximately 2200 words with a ton of smut! I blame Lloyd.

Warnings: Power dynamics; Creepy boss; Smut, smut, SMUT! Minors DNI!!!!

“Thank you, Jake,” you half whisper, half moan into his ear. “I really needed this.” You’re not normally one for hookups in the supply closets but you’d had such a stressful day you really needed to let off some steam. Thankfully Jake was always happy to help you out. And he was very good at helping you feel good. 

The two of you had a friends-with-benefits situation that had been carefully negotiated and navigated. Sometimes you got the sense that Jake wanted more and that’s why he was so eager to please. But you were both quick to talk if either of you felt things were getting too serious. It definitely made office parties a lot more fun. Everyone else was enjoying the cheap food and you and Jake got to go to a private office and actually take your time together.

You both do try to be careful at the office but your manager, Andy, has been really ramping up the sad sack shtick with all the women in your department, desperate for a date or some feminine attention and pity. You could only take so much, especially when your coworkers pointed out to him that you’re single. Traitors. 

Every day he would ask you about your plans. You tried being polite and got nowhere. You finally told him, directly, that you weren’t interested in him last Friday. Today you were called into a meeting with HR about “appropriate workplace behavior”. They told you they’d received complaints from your manager about flirting with him despite him telling you “no”. You smiled tightly and nodded, staying quiet and signing the documents saying you’d been talked to. 

You texted Jake on your phone to meet you in the hall closet. One of the things you appreciated? He didn’t ask questions, he just showed up and gave you what you needed. He really seemed to like it when you would repeatedly whisper “thank you’s” into his ear. It’s only a quickie but it definitely helps. You kiss Jake’s cheek and thank him as he blushes. You leave at different times and head back to your respective desks.

 You check your email and find yourself looking at an appointment with Lloyd Hansen, the company’s CEO. Thinking it must’ve been in error you hit the “Decline” button and add the most polite note that you can think of. Just a few minutes after you get yet another appointment notice with Mr. Hansen. No explanatory note. You’re extra grateful to Jake because your brain immediately jumps to Andy complaining about you to Mr. Hansen because your HR visit wasn’t enough of a punishment. 

The appointment is for tomorrow so you silently stew for the rest of the workday. At home you treat yourself to your favorite meal and shows. Your sleep is full of stressful dreams and you wake up more exhausted than when you went to bed. Not wanting to look like a mess in front of Mr. Hansen, you make sure to take extra care of your makeup and clothing choices. Working as hard as your caffeine deprived can to balance “I’m okay” with “I’m not trying to flirt with anyone”. It’s never an easy task.

As you log on to your computer you smell Andy’s cologne and internally wince. You turn to face him, “yes, Mr. Barber?”

“Easy there, tiger,” he chastised. “I just want to make sure that you’re doing okay after that HR meeting.”

Gritting your teeth you reply, “why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well I know a lot of people can have a kind of whiplash when they realize their behavior isn’t acceptable,” he explains in an obviously condescending tone. “I’ll understand if you want to take some vacation time.”

“Mr. Barber,” you seethe, “I think what would help me the most is keeping some distance between us at all times in the office.”

“Okay,” he scoffs. “Just remember who it is that HR listens to.” He walks away and you find yourself trying to not throw or break something. 

As soon as you can you head straight to Mr. Hansen’s office. His secretary lets you in, though he is not yet in. You should probably be upset that he’s late for the meeting he insisted on having with you but it’s better than sitting in your cubicle waiting for Andy to strike. 

The quiet is broken by Mr. Hansen storming into the office, yelling at someone on the phone. You recognize him immediately if only because of the mustache. “And I told you to handle it, Six! Get your head out of your ass and fix it!” He lets out a small huff as he listens to the person on the phone. “I don’t give a shit. It should’ve been handled weeks ago. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a meeting.” He hangs up without waiting for a response and turns to you with a smile that makes you feel like prey caught in a trap.

“So you’re the girl Barber was complaining out,” he starts. You’re unable to hold back your grimace and he laughs. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I don’t give a shit about that cuck.” You tilt your head in confusion. “See, he tried to play up the whole “women don’t know how to take a compliment” thing but I was able to see through him. He’s pathetic and you weren’t having it. Even flat out told him, “no”. That’s something I respect. Not everyone would do that to their boss.”

He sits down in his chair and continues, “so I started looking into you and imagine my surprise when I find out you and Jensen are hooking up!” Your eyes widen in shock and you start stammering before he holds out a hand, gesturing for you to stop. “You’re not in trouble for that. Hell if I could get laid instead of attending those lame work parties I absolutely would. Which is why I brought you here.” 

He leans his elbows on the desk, “I want in on whatever fuck-buddy deal you and Jensen got going on.”

“S..sir, I,” you’re at a loss for words. 

“Tell you what,” he slaps the desk and stands up, “I’ll make it easy for you. Either you agree to be my own fuck-buddy, occasionally still get some good stuff from Jensen, or I’ll make you Barber’s personal secretary.”

“What if I quit instead?”

“Then I’ll go ahead and fire Jensen,” he quips. “It would be a damn shame, though. Jakey is one of the best IT guys we got. Likely up for a promotion that would get him a private office.”

“Can I talk to Jake first,” you plead. “It is part of our arrangement that we communicate changes before they’re implemented.”

“You know what, sure. I can respect that a deal is a deal.” He goes to the phone on his desk and tells his secretary to send Jake up.

When Jake does arrive he’s shocked to see you. At Lloyd’s gesture he closes the door behind him. Lloyd doesn’t let you speak and lays everything out for him like he did you. 

Jake looks at you, “it’s…umm…I appreciate you looking out for me and my job,” he starts. “But it’s also your body and I would never want you to accept something like this just for me.”

“You know, Jakey here has a point,” Lloyd interjects. “You really don’t know what you’re in for with me. How about a demonstration? I’ll even let Jake join in to help keep you comfortable.”

Knowing that you were being watched shouldn’t excite you so much. The fact that both of these men wanted you was making you wet. You straddle Jake in his chair and start making out with him while taking off your clothes and grinding your hips against his crotch. 

Jake moans as he takes off your bra with practiced ease, “you’re sure about this?” 

“Feel how wet I am, Jake.” He obliges and sticks his fingers inside your panties. He rubs your clit and you arch your breasts into his face as his eyes widen at the wetness he finds there. 

“Holy shit,” he breathes. He gets a dark glint in his eye that you don’t entirely recognize. He removes his hand and starts to unbutton your pants. “You gotta taste her, Mr. Hansen. Sweetest pussy and it’s already drenched.”

You hadn’t realized Lloyd was standing behind you until he grabbed your breasts, lifting you a little as he nibbled your neck. He pulls you off of Jake and the two of them finish undressing you before setting you on Lloyd’s desk. You’re on your back, your head hanging over one side, your legs spread wide for the both of them. 

Lloyd doesn’t hesitate and dives tongue first into your pussy. Your reaction is immediate as he uses his mustache to tickle your clit. You throw your head back and moan before you’re able to stifle it. 

He pulls away from you, “don’t worry about noise, sweetheart. My secretary is gone for the afternoon and no one else would dare be on this floor.” He turns to Jake, “you were right! This is a damn tasty snack.” He gets back to it and you don’t hold back your sounds. It was such a relief to get to be as loud as you wanted. 

“Fuck, I love those sounds,” Jake groans.

You reach out to him, “your cock, Jake? Please, can I stroke your cock?”

“Love those sounds, too,” he grins as he undoes his belt. You look to Lloyd to see if he has any objections but he’s too focused on licking up all of your juices. Jake is already half hard and your hands know just how to get him fully erect. His hands start playing with your tits, gently pinching, pulling and fondling. 

The two of them quickly bring you to the brink of orgasm, then Lloyd sticks two of his fingers inside you and it pushes you over the edge. You cum loudly and Lloyd keeps scissoring his fingers while sucking on your clit, enjoying the show. When the aftershocks fade, he removes his hand and backs away just a little.

“Jensen, you take her mouth,” he orders. “I’m gonna make a mess of this pussy and I want to hear her choking on your cock while I do.”

You let go of Jake’s erection and he starts pushing himself into your mouth, grunting and moaning as he does so. He’s careful with you, like always, and places your hand on his thigh so you can signal if it gets too much.

Lloyd, however, lines himself up with your opening and quickly thrusts himself fully inside. If your mouth wasn’t so full of Jake’s cock, you’d likely have screamed. They fucked both of your holes with abandon and you were loving every second of it. Occasionally Jake would ask for a status and you’d tap his thigh twice for “all good”. 

“Not gonna last much longer,” Lloyd admitted. “This pussy is so fucking tight. I see why you risked your job for her.” He started rubbing your clit and you careened towards another orgasm. As soon as Jake came in your mouth you were done for. You tightened your legs around Lloyd as you came hard and swallowed all of Jake’s spend. You heard Lloyd mumbling, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” before he came with a yell. 

You’re still in a daze as both men pull out of you. Lloyd whistles, “now that’s a pretty picture. What say we get you cleaned up?”

“What the fuck?!” A voice from the office door crashes your post-orgasm euphoria. You look up and see Andy, standing in the doorway.

“Ah, Barber,” Lloyd says as he zips his pants back up. “Right on time.”

“What?!” Jake exclaims as you look, wide-eyed, at Lloyd. 

“You see, Andy,” he walks over to your manager and claps him on the shoulder. “You’re a complete cuck and we both know it.” Andy tries to protest but Lloyd cuts him off. “This is the closest you’re ever going to get to some pussy. Now be a good boy and clean up the mess I made.” He throws Andy to his knees in front of your spread pussy. 

Andy groans at the sight and you feel a stir of courage. “Well,” you scold. “Are you going to be a good boy and do as you're told or am I going to have to clean myself up?” His eyes darken but you don’t back down. He dives into your cum filled pussy and starts cleaning you up.

“Good boy,” Lloyd smirks. “Probably the only way you can actually please a woman.” He looks at Jake, “whenever you’re done with her, call her cuck over to clean up. Sound good?”

Jake looks to you and sees you writhing with pleasure, “I think so.”

Part 1.5

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

[strniohoeee]

Labyrinth

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female reader

Synopsis: A numb and addicted y/n can’t seem to understand why her life suddenly feels different. She’s done nothing but move around in her adult years, so why is it now that she feels she can’t pack up and leave anytime soon?

Warnings⚠️: I haven’t written in over a month, so I’m super rusty this might be shitty! Cigarette smoking and mentions, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol. I don’t condone smoking or drinking (underage).🖤

Song for imagine: Cigarettes and Coffee- Otis Redding

Its early in the morning

About a quarter ‘til three

I’m sittin here talking with my baby

Over cigarettes and coffee

I was never one to deal with stress easily which led me to deal with it in the worst ways possible. Drinking, smoking, quitting jobs on the spot and even packing up and leaving places…..I know stupid and risky, but I never had that anchor in my life to tell me everything was going to be okay.

If I felt stressed and useless my things were packed and I was on the road to a new state. I think I was on state number 7 in about a year and a half. Who the fuck in their right mind handles stress this way? That was the million dollar question, and I had the answer…. I wasn’t in my right mind…not in the past, not in the present and undoubtedly not in the future.

After my last breakdown I landed in California precisely in Los Angeles, the city of angels. Where all your dreams and aspirations could come true. It just felt like lost paradise to me, but it’s the longest state I’ve ever stood in. For some reason I couldn’t find the power in me to leave when I got stressed. It was as if I had some unforeseen future here….a future of happiness and hope?

But the stress still gnawed at me. Will I ever have a career, will I ever be truly happy, will my parents be proud of me?How am I going to pay for next month's rent?How am I going to pay for next week's groceries?

It was a constant battle and I never severely suffered because I always found a way, but once all that was taken care of the immediate panic started again about how will I be able to do it all in the following weeks.

I started smoking constantly and it was weird because I wasn’t a smoker but I knew I should drink a little less. I only lit a cigarette when the stress was so bad I refused to drink anymore. Not like smoking was any better ruining my lungs rather than my liver….

But the problem was it went from one to two a day to five and on really bad days even up to eight. It was a bad crutch I simply couldn’t pull away from. They were my training wheels and I was so scared that once I let go I’d crash and burn.

I had an addiction and I had no one around me to slap me out of it. Of course I still spoke to my parents, but I just lied about it. I mean there’s truly no one to blame but myself, however all that regret left my mind once a lighter was in my hand and I took a long drag while the cool night breeze brushed against my skin.

I was lucky enough to have found a job almost instantly. It was a cute little coffee shop that had a small selection of books. It was a peaceful and slow paced job. We only really needed two to three people working. So I’d open at 8am and waited for the next girl to clock in at about 11am.

It was a fun job that paid the bills and my horrendous cigarette addiction. I had found a decent studio apartment nearby. But I was always convinced that this would be snatched from under my feet and I should never get comfortable. As you can expect this led to my extreme stress and anxiety.

I didn’t necessarily have friends here, I mean yes I was cool with my coworkers and boss; but we weren’t friends. It was more of a hi, bye situation. It didn’t bother me much. I was always a loner. I never really found people who got me, so I stayed with the only person who did…me.

On my days off I spent a lot of time walking around flea markets, heading into other cafes and even writing. I’d always hoped that one day I’d be a writer. My mind was always running and I figured someone out there might actually relate to and enjoy the words I’d write on a piece of paper.

Today I was actually working a small shift from 8am to 1pm. I was staring blankly at my reflection in the bathroom. Scrubbing my hands and gargling mouthwash. It was 11am and I was coming back from my break.

Spitting the mouthwash into the sink I closed the cap and stuffed the travel size bottle into my purse. Inhaling deeply I looked at myself once again.

“You have got to stop smoking” I replied in a mumble

Slipping my hand blindly into my purse I pulled out my perfume; spritzing myself before shutting the light and heading into the break room to place my purse back.

Slipping my apron on my coworker walked in, clocking in the back as she offered me a smile

“Good morning Y/N” she said as she walked towards me to place her things down

“Good morning K” I stated as I offered a smile back and began to make my way to clock back in

I wasn’t sure why her name was K, it was all over her employee paperwork. She was here before me, so I felt I had no right to ask her for her real name. But it was interesting for someone to just drop the rest of their name and solely go by a singular letter.

After punching back in I walked to the front, not a surprise it was dead. The only people lingering around were the 8am-9am crew. Sighing deeply I decided to clean up a bit.

It was about 12pm now and I was watching the clock anxiously waiting to clock out and run free. Usually I worked 8-4 and sometimes even 8-6. I had a whole day ahead of me and two days off might I add. I felt pretty invincible

Drinking from my water cup the door chimed signaling a customer. Placing the cup down I began to turn around.

“Hi welcome to Mugs” I stated as I turned around

Immediately I was intrigued. I have never seen someone as interesting before. I mean it is LA, so I have seen some interesting stuff; but no he looked different…. And for some reason I couldn’t really look away

Placing his vision glasses on top of his head he squinted his eyes to read the menu. My eyebrow raising.

“You know glasses are meant for you to see things” I said logging into the register as I looked up at him

“I’m sorry?” He said looking at me

“You um…. You put your glasses on your head and then squinted to read” I said pointing above me at the board

“Oh… well these are just blue light glasses. I genuinely can’t really see” he said in an awkward way

“Ohhh well uhh want me to read the menu to you?” I asked laughing a bit

“Oh no it’s fine, I’m not really a coffee drinker” he stated looking at our pastry display

“You do realize you’re in a Coffee shop?” I said jokingly

His mouth opened a bit and then he squinted his eyes

“I am now seeing how ridiculous I look” he said chuckling and shaking his head

“No judgment here” I said sticking my hands up in defense

“I won’t waste your time any more! Can I have a chocolate chip cookie and that bottle of Pepsi” he said pointing behind me at the small fridge

“One Pepsi and one cookie, coming right up” I said checking him out on the screen

Grabbing the cookie and bottle of soda I placed it on the counter and slid it towards him.

“You can tap or insert your card whenever you’re ready” I stated clicking some buttons on my screen

“I’m uhh actually paying cash” he said fishing in his wallet

“Woahhh cash in this century?” I said giggling and fixing the system

“Yeahh I carry a little bit of cash and little bit of card” he said shrugging his shoulders

“A little bit of card….hmm…that’s funny” I said giggling a bit at him

“Well you know what I mean” he says playfully rolling his eyes

“I’m just messing with you” I said shaking my head

Smiling he handed the cash over and grabbed his items

“Keep the change” he said waving with his hand and nodding his head

Walking out the door I couldn’t seem to understand why I had a stupid smile on my face. Putting the cash in the till and placing the change in our tip jar.

Turning around I was met with my two coworkers staring at me with a smirk on their face. I’d never been the spotlight of attention and I’ve never gotten anything other than a good morning from either of them. So my face dropped and I got self conscious

“What?” I said a bit scared as I straightened my posture

“He was totally into you” K stated as she placed the rack of cookies down

“Was not! We were just making friendly conversations” I said opening the pastry shelf and putting some cookies in

“No no I agree with K we’ve had a lot of guys come in here, but this is the first time I’ve seen a guy like utter more than two words to you and he was totally geeking out” Delilah stated

“Totally! That kid was blushing like crazyyy” K stated as she grabbed the now empty tray and began to walk back towards the kitchen

“Guys come on! It was just friendly banter” I said shutting the pastry door

“Delilah knows her shit too, that’s how Danny and I got together” K stated from the kitchen

“Shut up! No way” I said rolling my eyes

“Sure did! As soon as we had an interaction K told me he’d be back for my number, and that was three years ago” K replied

“You just got lucky this was nothing but mere coincidence” I replied back to them

“You’ll see girl” Delilah stated as she began to make herself a coffee

Playfully rolling my eyes I checked the clock, I had about 10 minutes till my shift was over. I decided to make myself a drink.

As I made my iced latte I began to wonder. I didn’t really have many interactions with guys, but I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.

It just felt like a friendly banter with an awkwardly shy….nerdy guy. Laughing to myself I finished making my drink.

“Alright girls I’m going to clock out now” I stated as I walked to the back

Punching out and grabbing my things I slid my apron off and grabbed my drink. Heading towards the front of the cafe

I waved bye to the girls as I took a sip.

“Have a good day girls” I said as I walked out

I had the whole day ahead of me and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. My job was near a pier where I could always sit down and watch people.

Before heading to the pier I decided to stop for some food. Heading into a small restaurant I sat down. Taking my book out of my purse I began to write. I hadn’t written in two weeks and it felt wrong.

Ghosting my hand over the paper, my mind just kept going blank. I couldn’t form a proper sentence and my mind began to race again. Thinking back on that boy I began to think about my love life.

Honestly I didn’t really have one, I was more of a hopeless romantic. Often watching rom coms and rolling my eyes at how unrealistic that love was. I’m sure it was tangible, but I was just a sour puss.

I longed for a relationship like that to always know you’ll have someone there for you loving you unconditionally. To be with someone through sickness and in health. I was only 22, but it seemed to me that everyone around me already had that amazing soulmate. I was very clearly late to the game and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find someone to love. I wasn’t even sure I was lovable myself.

Then again I never put myself out there, but times have changed. It's not that easy. Guys have become so shitty and all they care about it sex. But it’s like what about getting to know the person deep down.

Not once has a guy ever asked me my dreams and aspirations, where do I see myself in five years? What are my biggest goals in life? What’s my biggest fear….. I lost all hope for love by the time I was 18.

Reading romantic stories and watching these shows and movies definitely added salt to the wound.

I hadn’t realized how much I was writing till my hand began to cramp. Looking up I realized it was no longer daytime.

“Shit” I muttered under my breath

Slamming my book shut I paid my bill and began to gather my things. Walking out of the restaurant I stepped out onto the golden street. It was about 5:45 and I really couldn’t understand how that much time had passed.

I think that’s why I enjoy writing the most, I’m so far gone in my own world it’s like I’m frozen and the world around me continues to move.

Walking towards the pier it was surprisingly empty at this time. Breathing in the salty air I sat down on a bench. Watching the ocean I let the breeze blow through my hair.

Digging in my purse I pulled out my pack of American Spirits. Sighing deeply I pulled a cigarette out. As soon as I grabbed my lighter all the regret washed away from me.

Placing the white object in between my lips I flicked the lighter a few times before a glowing flame appeared before me. Guarding the flame from the wind I brought it closer.

Inhaling as I lit the cigarette all my worries washed away. This was only my second cigarette of the day and I somehow felt accomplished.

Kicking the gravel underneath me I took a long drag, exhaling I got up. Walking over to the edge of the pier I decided to sit down allowing my legs to hang off the edge.

I wasn’t 100% sure I could do this, but it’s worth a shot I thought to myself. Leaning my chin on the railing I took another drag as I stared into the sunset.

Life was so beautiful and I wasn’t sure why I was so sad and numb all the time. I took a lot for granted and I hated it.

I really needed to stop smoking.

“You know those things will kill you” I heard from behind me

My brows began to furrow as I took a drag

“I’m sorry?” I said annoyed as I looked behind me, blowing the smoke out through my nose as my face dropped

“You shouldn’t smoke” he said again with a cheeky smile on his face

Meeting eyes with the same guy from the cafe made my heart skip a beat and my throat go dry.

“Squinting your eyes is also bad for you” I said putting the cigarette out

“Won’t kill me though” he said shrugging his shoulders

“You never know” I said shrugging my shoulders and standing up

His eyes followed me as I got up and it was only then did I feel super self conscious about this whole situation. My embarrassment turned a bit into anger.

“Anyways you drink Pepsi, so that for sure will kill you” I said as I dusted my pants off

“Guess we’ll both be dead then” he replied

“Wow you’re super blunt” I said scoffing

“Sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude. I was just playfully teasing” he said looking nervous

Looking at him for a split second and I sniffed and then rolled my eyes

“It’s fine. It’s a bad habit anyways” I replied shrugging my shoulders

“We all have bad habits we’re not proud of” he said in a whisper

“Are you uhh following me?” I asked him cocking an eyebrow

“What? No oh my god no! I was just walking and I thought you looked super familiar” he replied putting his hands up in defense

“I’m just teasing you” I said giggling

“I’m Matt” he replied placing his hand out for me to shake

“I’m Y/N” I stated as I shook his hand

“It’s nice to formally meet you” he said awkwardly

“Yeah” I replied awkwardly

“I’ll uh… ill let you go on about your business. Maybe I’ll see you around” He said

“Well you know where to find me” I said smiling at him

Opening my bag I was digging around for my phone before successfully pulling it out.

“Right, well have a good evening” he said and waved shyly

“I’ll see you round Matt” I replied

Going our separate ways I looked down at my phone, 6:55pm…. Sighing, I walked back to my car close to the cafe and drove home.

Shuffling up the stairs I pushed my apartment door open after unlocking it. Making note that I must call the maintenance guy because that door needs some WD40 badly.

Locking the door I turned my lights on. Today just felt strange like I couldn’t put my finger in exactly what the fuck was going on.

Walking over to my patio I opened the sliding door and stepped out. Taking in the evening breeze my mind just went blank.

Stepping back inside I grabbed my purse, grabbing my lighter I shuffled my hand around my purse to feel for my pack of cigarettes. But my brows furrowed when I didn’t feel the square container.

Walking over towards the light I opened my bag more and looked inside. An annoyed feeling washed over me as I couldn’t find the box. I mean honestly good because I did not need anymore.

Still searching as if the box was going to magically appear. I groaned soon realizing I must’ve left them on the bench and they are for a fact long gone by now.

Throwing my lighter back into my purse I groaned and sat on my couch. The one time I desperately need a cigarette I fucking left it on the pier.

I cut that night short with a 80s movie marathon and left over pizza as a midnight snack.

remembering that tomorrow I had to stop into the cafe to pick up my paycheck. We’re living in a very digital world right now and my job still does paper checks….

Groaning at that I decided to call it a night….

The End

Okayyy IVE BEEN GONE FOR SOOO FUCKING LONG. And I’m sooo sorry it’s just life has been so crazy since March! However this was the end of part 1….stay tuned for more🥺🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[loveemagicpeace]

💜Astro Notes💜

🩵Neptune in 1st house-many times you attract the attention of children. Because you give energy as if you are some kind of character and then they see you as some person who is not real and is more of a dream. Dreamy things often suit you. You look like a fairy. Makeup looks best on them.

🥳Sagittarius placements are soo funny. They always have the best jokes. And if you can laugh with anyone, it's them. But the funniest thing to me is that sometimes they also laugh at their own jokes.

🌙Moon in 6th house- can make you emotionally unstable and overly concerned about your health. Many times you can think the worst about situation. The moon here has a good instinct, but it can deceive you many times if you are too nervous. Your day often depends on how you feel. So your health also depends on your well-being.

🌵Mercury in 6th house- you can become obsessed with your treatment or think too much and research (when you are sick) what could be the cause and why it is so. It is good for these people to work on themselves and to do things that add as little stress to them as possible. Especially if you have a scorpion in this house.

🧸Taurus moon- they don't like to change the environment, and they don't like new people around them. They mostly like to stick with people they have known for a long time. I have the feeling that even if they see new people, they still like to stick with the old ones. It's the same with the Cancer moon - they are tied to emotion. On the connection they have with people. They do not like to change the people around them, because they feel that the new ones will never perceive them as emotionally as the old ones. It is difficult for them to let go of the emotion they feel for someone. Both moons are tied to a feeling of familiar. Both moons love someone they met in the past or childhood love can be at the forefront here many times.

🎈Aries & capricorn placements-these people are obsessed with winning in business. They will do everything just to be better than their competition, to prove to others that they are the best and that they can succeed. I won't lie these people can devote their lives to their careers.

💙Pluto in 1st house- These people will always have secrets that they will not confide in anyone. This is not about them lying, but their energy tends to keep their secrets to themselves, so as not to burden others. But the secrets you find out about them can be really, really dark. They can be dying in the hospital or have a serious illness and they won't tell anyone. These people are every strong inside.

🌞Leo placements -if they love you they will do anything for you. If they don't have you then they can be very selfish.

🍀Mercury in Virgo- analyze every situation and think a lot about how they acted. Many times when they tell a story, they go into detail. But it depends on where mercury falls in their house. If mercury is in the 3rd house then they will be very talkative and sometimes won't stop talking. If mercury is in the 12th house their thoughts will be more poetic.

💫 3rd house is house of gossip so people with a lot of planets here will be very interested in what others are doing or what is happening in the neighborhood.

🎸I think people with sagittarius placements can be very generous, passionate and devoted in love. People underestimate their love. They will give you all the love in the world. They will show you all their favorite places and everything that brings them happiness. They will want to travel and discover the world with you.

🔥Fire signs always wear colorful clothes or someting fiery. 🌊Water signs always wear something which is related to emotions (inscriptions or something that is emotional). 🪴Earth signs always wear simple and grounded clothes . Something that is appropriate for society. 🌬️Air signs always wear something cute and fun.

🪴People don’t talk about this but capricorns love nature, flowers, earth and gardening. They like something that is not related to people, work. Also cap risings many times they feel responsible for the people around them. They sound cold and can be stubborn, cruel and even rude, but inside they will always feel bad for people, even if they don't show it outwardly. If you really want to get to know them, you have to know that you have to hang out with them more than just once.

🎁5th house-the inner child-this house describes how you are as a child and how you can keep the child inside you. So thats why leos are child their whole life. They know how to keep passion alive. Planets here reflect the essence of this inner gift.

🌊The difference between a virgo and pisces rising is that virgo often worry and become anxious when something doesn't go their way or when they can present themselves to people. Many times they give more attention to others instead of themselves. Pisces don't worry so much about how they will stand out in front of others or how they look. They have a lot of illusion in them and many times this leads them to emit a different energy outwardly.

-Rebekah🩵💧

[weskie]

Reversal (Albert Wesker x gn!Reader)

18+ | 1192 words | handjob, soft wesker, begging (as much as wesker would), could be any era of wesker | Fic Directory

he deserves to be spoiled once in a while. wouldn't you agree?

He’s never quite sure how the two of you end up in these situations, but particularly himself.  Wesker, being the extremely generous lover that he is, was far from used to being on the receiving end of things.  But you have your ways.  He could hardly call it trickery since you’d given him ample opportunity to refuse, but he just couldn’t.

What turned into simply sitting by your side atop the bed turned to a loss of control so blissful that his jaw trembles with every breath he takes in vain attempts to steady himself.  You’d coaxed him so sweetly, pretending that you were shuffling behind him to simply rub his back.  And you did for a time.  Stripped away the shoulder holster and kneaded taut, stressed muscles for so long he’d almost been convinced his body turned to jell-o.  When your soothing touches slipped around to unbutton his shirt, he knew he was in for it.  The very second you tugged on his belt, he knew he was all too happy to let it happen.

He huffs an open mouthed breath, chest rising and falling, heartbeat like a drum in his own ears while he cranes his neck further to the side for your wandering lips.  The buckle of his belt clinks with every mindless shift of his legs.  You feel so nice… your hands are so warm and soft as you stroke him slow and steady.  

He grips your leg with his left hand and the right reaches back to thread in your hair, anchoring himself to you like a docked ship in preparation for a storm.  Wesker can’t help but arch back into you, body seeking more and more contact as he fights each gasp and whine that threatens to expose how easily you’ve wrapped him around your finger.

“Talk to me, sweetheart.” You coo in his ear, breath tickling the shell of it and sending a shiver right down his spine.  There’s an air of humor in your words like always.  Amusement that you’d turned the tables and taken apart the man who usually unmakes you.  Wesker’s eyes flutter open, half lidded and dazed.  He dares to look between his splayed legs and your hand moves just in time to feel his balls tighten at the sight.  You hum a small laugh when he does little more than swallow thickly and exhale.  “Even if you won’t use your words, your body still tells me all kinds of things.”  Your thumb circles his weeping tip with an agonizing slowness and your lips fall to the junction of his shoulder.

He nearly jumps out of his skin, choking off a sharp keen into panting breaths when a wandering hand pinches his nipple, rolling the hardened bud carefully.  It’s then that he truly loses himself, completely leaning his weight back onto you and hissing through clenched teeth.  “Y-You…”  He tries, but his train of thought derails entirely when your fist twists down to the base, squeezing gently.  Wesker’s legs shift haphazardly, one bending just enough for leverage to thrust into your grip.

Your touches halt suddenly but you don’t release him.  “Yes, honey?”

Fuck, he thinks to himself. This again. 

Not too long ago you’d learned that he wasn’t quite so unbreakable.  That iron will and stoic demeanor ran incredibly deep, but for you?  Oh, you have the key to his heart, which means you’re privy to sights and sounds that leave him red in the face and practically squirming.  

You planned this, didn’t you?  

Now you were going to get exactly what you wanted…

“Come on, Al.  Tell me.”  Each word drips with love the likes of which he could drown in.  It drives him insane in ways he could never dream.  You hold release over his head like bait but give freely that which makes you so special.  “Tell me so I can take care of you.”

Wesker’s jaw quivers, teeth practically chattering.  “You… I want you to…”  He’s whispered filth in your ear so many times just to guarantee your pleasure, but to reverse the roles?  To tell you how badly he wants you to… t-to…  “Please,” he gasps, voice a tad higher than he’d prefer, “anything, I– ah!” Wesker gasps sharply, head falling back against your shoulder as you trail the tip of your index finger along the length of his cock. 

“Anything?”

“M-More!” He mewls.  It’s all so undignified and the embarrassment swirls deep in his gut, but it’s washed away by a fingerpad teasing a bead of precum.  Heavy breaths turn almost to snarls.  “God, just– please!”

You always did show him mercy when he used the magic word.  The very second your strokes begin again, his eyes roll back and he succumbs.  

“That’s it, Al,” you murmur between kisses and suckles to his exposed neck.  He writhes and thrusts and pushes against you like his life depends on it, seeking more sensations, more pressure, more of you while he comes undone.  “Shhh, just feel it…”

He’s unsure of just how loud his pathetic litany of whining had been, but he’d much rather not know at all.  Fuck, if he felt like jell-o before… he’s practically a ragdoll now, limbs like lead demanding that he simply lie still and bask in a haze so powerful he can’t even open his eyes.  He tries to give you a hm of acknowledgement, but it comes out as a breathy whine that leaves him wishing he had the energy to curse himself for such a weak display of self control.

“You did so well.”  Your praise erupts his flesh with goosebumps.  “You deserved this.  You deserve to feel so good.”

Wesker tilts his head just enough to nuzzle your cheek, hissing a hot breath against it when he feels your fingertips dance through the mess he’d made on his abdomen.  His eyelids are so heavy…

“Get some rest, sweetheart.” 

He wants to. God knows there’s nothing else his body screams for more in the moment, but he also wants so badly to return the favor.  You wiggle out from behind him carefully, slipping his shirt free and slowly helping him descend into the plushness of pillows and blankets before stripping away the remainder of his clothes.  You disappear for but a moment, promising him you'll return before you do, and you bring a warm, wet cloth to wipe away the mess his bliss had caused.

“There we go,” you say.  There’s not a single word necessary, but he knows you do it to reassure him that he’s clean.  A soft thud signals that you’d tossed the cloth elsewhere and then you’re climbing in right beside him, tugging soft covers up onto the both of you and snuggling close to him.  “You should sleep,” you tell him.  “The world will still be here when you wake up, okay?”

“In some state of chaos, I’m sure…” Wesker mumbles, pulling you closer with a heavy arm.  Lips press to his temple, then his cheek, then his lips which curl into a lazy grin.  Within seconds, he’s out like a light.

He always sleeps so well after you take care of him.

[winmance]

Swipe Right for Family Discount!

Damen looks at himself in his rearview mirror one last time, repositioning his hair correctly and checking his teeth to make sure no salad has gotten stuck into it. He’s not usually this stressed before going on a date, but he’s also not usually that interested. He hasn’t told Nikandros yet, refusing to see the disapproval on his friend’s face, but he thinks this may be it for him. He’s been talking to Laurent for less than a week and yet, he already can’t think of anything else. Every second of his day is spent thinking about him and even when he’s sleeping, his brain finds a way to bring Laurent in his dreams. Which is crazy, considering that today will be the first time meeting him.

Laurent is the one who chose the restaurant, and his choice surprised Damen, but he didn’t think much about it. Looking back, he probably should have questioned Laurent about choosing a family place for their dinner, but you don’t know what you don’t ask.

It doesn’t take him more than a few seconds to spot Laurent in the restaurant. It feels like a movie when the music starts to play and everything goes in slow motion. His hair is so blond that the light seems to reflect on it. His blue eyes are on Damen in an instant, deep and cold. He’s not wearing expensive clothes but he’s in all black, with not an inch of skin showing. He’s the most beautiful human being Damen has ever seen and he hopes Laurent is going to like him because there’s no way Damen will be able to live knowing that such beauty walks on Earth.

The slow motion stops the moment someone steps into Laurent’s personal space.

At first Damen frowns, until he realizes it’s a kid and then he thinks the boy must be lost but then - then Laurent’s eyes leave him and focus on the boy and he doesn’t seem to care that the boy is so close to him, that their feet are touching.

That’s when Damen realizes something is wrong.

“Hello Damen,” Laurent says.

“Hello Damen,” the boy next to him repeats.

“Hey, I… uh… You are…”

“This is Nicaise. My babysitter was sick. It says on your profile that you love kids.”

“I’m a kid,” the kid says.

“I do,” Damen says. “Nice to meet you. Both of you.”

He loves kids, yes, but on his first date? He’s not sure. Laurent’s profile didn’t mention a kid. Let alone a teenager. He’s not the best at math but even if Laurent had the kid at sixteen, it still would be impossible for him to be this big.

A normal man should have run. In fact, Damen is pretty sure that if he could google “What does it mean if your crush brings their kid that they didn’t tell you about to your first date?” he would find out that this is one of the biggest red flags ever.

But Damen is not a normal man and so he leads the way to their table and he pulls out the chair for both of them. Nicaise giggles while Laurent barely smiles. Damen tries to blame it on stress, but they’re barely two minutes into their date and Laurent is already holding his head, looking extremely bored, which is strange because they talked so much by text that Damen thought the conversation would go smoothly.

“I watched the show you talked about,” Damen says. His throat feels tight with how tense the situation is. “Into the fire? The documentary about the missing girl.”

“You did?”

Laurent seems surprised and for a few seconds, he even lifts his head to look at Damen.

“Yes. It was really good.”

“I thought you didn’t like true crime documentaries.”

“Yes but you said you liked it, so I thought I should watch it too.”

“Can I watch it?” Nicaise asks.

“Absolutely not. Do you hear me? It’s a no.”

“You may be a bit too young for that,” Damen says, and then he realizes he has no idea how young Nicaise is. He’s pretty, like Laurent, with big blue eyes and curly dark hair. He’s small, though, and slime. Damen has never been like that. He went straight from toddler to Viking, as his father used to say. At six, they were already dressing him with twelve years old clothes.

“Did you watch it illegally?” This time, the question is directed to Laurent. “So I can’t watch my favorite anime because it may give us viruses, but you can? You know that you can go to jail for that? And let me break it to you: orange is not your color.”

Damen never spoke like that to his parents and if he did, he wouldn’t be here to tell anyone about it. He should feel offended but he can’t, not when Nicaise’s words make him want to laugh.

“It’s on Netflix. He probably watches it here,” Damen says, trying to help.

“We don’t have Netflix anymore. The neighbor used to allow us to use his account but with their fucking new setting it doesn’t work anymore. Thanks fuck we can still use their WiFi!”

“Langage Nicaise,” Laurent says. “I watched it with Jord last weekend. Nothing illegal here.”

Damen has to force himself not to react. It would be disproportionate to make a fuss about a guy named Jord, who could very much be Laurent’s grandpa. In fact, he’s probably his grandpa. If Laurent forgot to tell him about his kid, he may have forgotten to tell him about his grandpa with whom he likes to watch true crime.

“Do you have Netflix, Damen?” Nicaise aks.

“I do, yes.”

“And Amazon Prime?”

“Yes.”

“What about Disney+? HBO?”

“Uh, yes. I think I got all of them? There was a deal when I bought my TV.”

Nicaise nods, as if taking notes, before focusing back on the menu in front of him. For some reason, Damen feels like he just gained some points and he smiles before turning back to Laurent, who’s looking at him with a frown on his face. He seems tense and Damen would like to blame it on the fact that it’s their first date, but he has a feeling it’s not it. There’s a hole in Laurent’s sleeves and he keeps playing nervously with it. It’s really cute.

“I read the book you mentioned,” Laurent mumbles. “I didn’t have anything to do.”

“Did you like it?”

“It was adequate.”

The book is one of Damen’s favorites. He read it when he was twelve and the loss of his mom was starting to creep into him. It’s a beautiful book about grief and he’s aware that only someone who had lost someone they deeply loved can appreciate it.

“You cried while reading it,” Nicaise says, his eyes still down on the menu.

“I did not.”

“Yes, you cried like a big baby and then you were like, all emotional and telling me that you loved me. It was disgusting. Damen, don’t recommend that kind of book again.”

“Notes taken. What should I recommend then? What kind of books do you think are appropriate for Laurent?”

“Erotics books.”

Damen bursts into laughter at the same moment Laurent shoves Nicaise away, his face turning a dark shade of red.

“What? It’s true! That would do you some good!”

“Focus back on your menu. You are not a part of this conversation.”

“We should order, actually,” Damen says, trying to distract Laurent again. “What does Nicaise eat?”

“You can ask me directly, you know,” Nicaise says.

“Oh yes, sorry. What do you want to eat?”

“I don’t talk to strangers.”

Laurent, having already forgotten the kid, can’t help but smirk and Damen is a weak man, so he does the same. He has a weird feeling in his stomach, something warm and familiar. He has to restrain himself from reaching out to hold Laurent’s hand.

“He’ll have a burger with extra bacon and a diet Coke.”

“Good choice,” Damen notes. “And you?”

“Cesar salad.”

Damen has never once ordered a salad while at the restaurant and he’s not surprised to see it’s the cheapest meal here. It does look good, sure. If you eat it while waiting for your burgers. Still, he’s smart enough to understand why Laurent chose it, and even smarter not to comment on it.

“I’ll take the burger too. They have onion rings and chicken wings that seem absolutely amazing so I think I’ll start with them.”

“You’re having all of that before your burger?” Laurent asks.

“Yeah, that may be a bit excessive… Would you be ok eating them with me?”

Laurent’s stomach is quicker to answer than he is, the noise reaching their ears before Damen’s sentence is even over. This time, however, Nicaise doesn’t laugh when he looks at his father and instead, a complex expression booms on his face.

“If you don’t mind…”

“Nah, I won’t be able to eat it all anyway.”

Damen quickly orders for them and they finally fall into an easy conversation after that. Nicaise helps a lot, throwing shades at his dad every time he can, and at some point, Damen thinks he insulted him but he’s not sure that he got it quite right. He hadn’t realized just how old he was until that moment, but apparently young people these days seem to have a whole new language.

“You should download TikTok,” Nicaise tells him. “I’ll send you videos to help you get some culture.”

“You’ll not,” Laurent says.

“Why?”

“It’s inappropriate.”

“Ugh, find. Damen, can I have your phone please?”

“Nicaise, that’s not-”

Damen unlocks his phone and gives it to him. Laurent looks at him as if he has grown a second head and it occurs to Damen that yes, giving your phone to a fourteen-year-old (Nicaise had told him he was eighteen to try and get a beer, to which Laurent had replied while pointing his real age) was quite dangerous. But he doesn’t care.

“Here. I added Laurent’s TikTok. He doesn’t post anything of course, but he’s always sending me those really not funny videos that I’m sure you’ll love.”

When they were texting, Laurent had told him he was not on social media. No Instagram, no Facebook and certainly no TikTok.

“Can I get a follow-back?”

“I… Yes.”

After sending a deadly stare at Nicaise, Laurent takes out his phone. The screen is broken and the phone seems like an old version of the one Damen has, but Laurent is still able to navigate through it, and like promised, he adds him on TikTok.

They get distracted again when the food finally arrives and after some convincing, Laurent helps Damen in eating all the things he ordered. It’s a nice family scene, Damen realizes. It looks like they’re just two regular dads eating with their teenage son who can’t keep his eyes off his phone. It’s domestic, the way they easily fall into silence without it being awkward. From time to time, Laurent will look at him with that weird expression on his face, but then he stays quiet or tells Nicaise to focus on his food. Each time, Damen smiles at him. Now that Laurent is more relaxed, he’s exactly like in his texts: sarcastic in a funny way, shy but not too much, interesting, and passionate when Damen finds the right subject. He loves true crime but also The Office. He lived in France for a while but has never been in another country outside of that. He works in a library, something he hadn’t told Damen before but that makes so much sense. He doesn’t talk about his family but when Damen talks about Kastor, both Laurent and Nicaise agree that he’s an asshole, which makes Damen laugh. They’re almost done eating when Damen realizes that he’s in deep trouble because there’s no way this was a one-time thing.

“So Damen,” Nicaise says once he finishes his burger. He cleans his mouth with the back of his sleeve, which earns him another complaint from Laurent. Unlike his dad, his clothes seem new. “What are your intentions towards Laurent?”

Laurent chokes on his water but Damen keeps it cool. He was expecting this question, for some odd reasons.

“They’re nothing but pure. Anything he wants, I’ll give him.”

There’s that deep blush on Laurent’s face again but he doesn’t say anything. They finish eating in silence, but it’s a comfortable one and when Damen’s fingers brush against Laurent's own, he doesn’t reach out but doesn’t push his hand away either.

Once it’s time to pay, Damen doesn’t let Laurent take his car out and immediately pays for the whole meal.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I did say in my bio that I was old school, didn’t I?”

They agree on a walk along the docks after. The air is fresh but not cold, just enough to make Damen sleepy. Next to him, Laurent shivers, which is no surprise because despite not showing any skin, his clothes are way too thin for the season. So of course, Damen takes his jacket off and throws it on his shoulders.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. I can’t imagine what Nicaise would do to me if I let you get a cold.”

Laurent smiles fondly.

“He’s a bit protective, sometimes. But he’s a good kid.”

“He is, yes,” Damen agrees. “Do you do that a lot?”

“Do what?”

“Bring the kid to a date so that you’ll get dinner for free. I’m not complaining, just so we’re clear. I had a really good night.”

Nicaise is in front of them, running after some poor birds to make them fly. Damen understood pretty fast during their date that he was just part of a scheme to get free food and while it did hurt his ego a bit at first, he can’t complain. Not when the night is so nice and Laurent is so close to him.

“I only did it once or twice,” Laurent admits after a while. “It’s not… Money gets tight sometimes and it’s fun. We’re not hurting anyone. The two times we did it, the men paid for the meal but didn’t stay with us. They kept apologizing but couldn’t stand to even try and have a conversation with us. It was laughable, I swear.”

“So you never mentioned Nicaise to any of them before the date?”

“No, but to be fair, you’re… I didn’t talk a lot with them, even through texts. We just chatted a bit and then they wanted to meet me right away. So it was easier to pretend like the question didn’t come up.”

“And with me?”

“I didn’t expect us to talk this much.”

There’s a strange feeling of pride booming inside of Damen’s chest and he’s smiling like a teenager, but it feels right to do so.

“You were not really looking for a boyfriend then?”

“No,” Laurent says. “I’m… I was not.”

“And now?”

Laurent stays silent for a while but his cheeks are red and he’s playing nervously with his hands. Still, when he turns towards him, his face is neutral.

“It was a great night.”

“It was,” Damen agrees.

They stopped walking some time ago. They’re standing in front of each other now, Nicaise’s presence not far away but not close enough to disrupt them. Damen won’t kiss Laurent, not now, but the way they’re looking at each other is better than any kiss he ever had.

“So, tomorrow at the same time?”

“I will have to bring Nicaise.”

And this time, he does seem sorry about it.

“Ah. See, it’s a bit awkward but it’s actually Nicaise I wanted to see… He’s really funny. But you’re free to tag along, of course.”

This time when Laurent laughs, he does so with all his chest and it’s the prettiest sound Damen’s ever heard. Well, almost, because then Nicaise, who has apparently been listening to the conversation, laughs too and the sound they make is the one Damen will be playing in his head on his deathbed.

“I want to eat sushi tomorrow,” Nicaise says. “Also, can we go and watch a movie before? There’s a new horror movie -”

“No horror movie for you.”

“What? You’re the one who gets scared! Not me! I’m sure Damen can hold you close so you don’t piss your pants.”

“Yes,” Damen says, “I’ll hold you close. Both of you.”

Damen has never been very lucky with love. He had a lot of girlfriends, including Jokaste, but none of them he felt deeply connected with. He loved them, to some extent, and they probably loved him back, but he always felt like he was searching for something else. Like his heart was made for more, and yet it always refused entry to any of the girls he dated. Like he had been made to love, fully, without any restraints, but without ever being able to do so. He remembers lying in bed with Jokaste and feeling like a fraud for not loving her more. He had thought that maybe something in him was broken. That his mother’s death, his father’s cold love, and Kastor’s hate had broken something in him, making him both craving and refusing love.

The moon is up in the sky. The stars are shining. Nicaise is taking a selfie in front of the water. Laurent’s hand is in his. And he thinks, for the first time, that finally his heart feels complete and opens.

Nikandros is going to give him so much shit for this.

[verstarppen]

A THANK YOU LETTER

an apology and update! for all you beautiful people - 2 for the price of 1

hello! over the months i've written and deleted this letter because i was too much of a coward to show my face after i left. i contemplated if it would be adequate enough, if it even matters. At the end, i owe this fandom too much, so here it is:

THE APOLOGY

i am truly sorry. there's no better way of putting it.

the more i create the more i realise how this fandom held my hand and i simply wouldn't be the person i am now if this blog never existed. i've always struggled with sharing art and writing online, as i thought it was too lame and took the coward route of keeping it to myself and my closest friends.

ever since this blog, i've found that less of an issue. the more i think about how much i let you and myself down by disappearing the more i feel the shame weigh me down. i never wanted to leave, but life has this funny way of forcing your hand when you least expect it.

without getting too personal, this year hasn't been great for me or anyone close to me - friendships died, family members were hospitalised, university crushed me, expectations from everyone around me made me question if i'm failing in every aspect of my life, i lost passions like art - something i've always thought of as my dream career, and i fear the stress will only grow rather than die down.

in some of those harder moments i would always turn to a distraction, create something for a fandom i enjoy to get my mind off things. to see your comments and your messages always kept me going even when i physically couldn't take the stress of everything around me anymore. being busy made my flame for F1 dwindle, too. it's one of the main reasons i didn't return earlier. I've missed half the races this year, yes that includes both lando and oscar's wins, and although im looking forward to the summer break ending and the racecs coming back, i don't think the enthusiasm will ever return to the way it was when this blog was at its peak.

i feel like a coward for disappearing and it's a big regret of mine this year. i can't promise to write for F1 again, but what i've made will always be archieved here :)

THE UPDATE

not great. i can't even lie i'm not doing too hot right now. i promised i would return to writing when things finally calmed down and yet the more stress there was the more one off projects i made to combat it. throughout the months i've accumulated a lot of side projects for different fandoms like star wars, star trek, dc, merlin and lesser known fandoms such as heavy rain, mortal kombat, the sims (no seriously have you seen the lore) etc. that i have nowhere to post. in april i decided i can't afford (literally) to distract myself with any hobby projects for the sake of my situation and thus... i was an idiot and i deleted my ao3 account. there weren't that many stories on there anyway, but i regret it even if it was the right decision.

i owe @wtfisakilometer2 so much for telling me that the people who love the blog wouldn't mind what fandom it is as long as it's by me, even if i don't fully believe it. it did open my eyes to finally write this, though, so direct all your love to her.

so that leaves me here, sort of homeless on my own blog and with very conflicting feelings about it's direction. i intend to preserve it as an archive of my F1 writing without messing with it, but still let you know about my new ao3 and everything on it so i can keep both our interests in mind.

thank you for reading if you made it this far, i hope you have an awesome day and a lot of cat memes in your pinterest. thank you for all the lovely messages (i read everything) and thank you for everything this fandom has offered me. i will truly never get over you guys.

- star :)

[holybibly]

Bunnies, please spend a little time with this message, because there are things I want to talk to you about.

First of all, I'm fine. I'm so sorry for worrying so many people yesterday. Sorry if I haven't replied to your DMs yet, there are a lot of them and I need time to reply to all the bunnies.

Please do not worry. Your experiences are not worth me (don't even think about arguing about it), nothing in your life can be more important than you and your family.

Now let's talk about serious matters. I did a lot of thinking last night and it was a hard night, I won't lie. I am a very sensitive person and most of the time I accumulate emotions until they just drown me. The last few weeks have been stressful for me with work and I haven't had much time to relax or get inspired, but when things finally started to pick up, this message was the last straw. It really hurt me.

I hope situations like this don't happen again

Now, I want to talk about comfort and other things on the blog.

1. Nicknames. For all the followers of my blog there is a special nickname "bunny". This is a special nickname associated with one of my works - Pretty Flushed. This is my first popular piece, it is a unique idea and this is what makes my blog my own. From the moment I posted this, it became natural to call my followers 'bunny', as everyone who asked me questions or wrote to me personally signed themselves as 'bunny'.

Now I want to ask you - are you comfortable with this nickname? Did you feel anxious or uncomfortable when I called you that? I don't want you to feel that way, so if it bothers you, let me know and I'll stop.

2. The question of trust. As I wrote earlier, unfortunately I cannot be sure whether I am communicating with minors or not.Because the issue of age deception is very acute.

Neither Tumblr, nor Wattpad, nor YouTube, nor even Gmail can verify your age on a reliable, documented basis when you create a personal account. The only way we can find out is if the user reports it to us. And this is where the question of trust comes in. Can I trust you? Should I keep doing this? These questions are constantly on my mind. It makes me anxious and panicky. But also, how can we live in a society where you are afraid every day? My blog is a safe place for adults and conscious people, but I can't guarantee that somewhere among my 2.8k followers there aren't underage teenagers. Because I just don't know who's telling me the truth and who's not.

If any of my bunnies find out about underage accounts, please let me know so that we can make the issue public.

There is also the issue of anonymity. You can call me shameless, but I am not ashamed of my desires or thoughts, you all literally live in my head, but I know that there are people who are not ready to talk publicly about their desires and dreams, here are also people who are simply afraid to do so because someone might find out and use it against them. We all have different lives and we all have different life and social circumstances, so I understand all the people who are not ready, who are afraid or who are ashamed of their thoughts and dreams.

I will not block the possibility to talk to me anonymously and I leave it up to you. You can also DM me with your request if you don't feel comfortable with me posting the answer for everyone to see.

3. Communication. Bunnies, communication is important to me; it's true. I always want to know how you feel, if you are comfortable, and what you think of my work and of me. But unfortunately, sometimes my questions remain unanswered, and I begin to doubt if everything is going well. There is no greater fear for me than that you do not feel comfortable with me.

I don't know why, but it seems to me that many people avoid communicating with me. Some people think I'm rude or abrupt, and I don't seem to fit in with the general happy atmosphere. I am most comfortable with my bunnies. I enjoy playing with them, flirting with them, or just talking to them, and I'm very lucky to have made great friends, but I still feel isolated in a way.

It's weird; people always tell me that they've heard of me or that I have some kind of bunny fandom of my own, but I'm nothing more than a normal person. I will never lie to you and try to be better than I am. I am who I am, and I have no intention of creating a false persona in order to be loved. If I'm not right for you, don't waste your time.

I always tell you that you can come to me with all the questions in the world. I will never refuse to help you. Communication is the key to success, don't you think? I know I can be intense, and the way I communicate on the blog is unique, but that is how I see this space—without templates, labels, bias, shaming, judgement, and other things. This is a place where you can be yourself.

So let's communicate more and get to know each other better to make our lives a little easier.

I may decide to add a few more things here later, but these are the issues that concern me most at the moment.

Also, in terms of updates, the planned update for this weekend for full-length work will be postponed until next week.

Unholy hours have been on the air since the weekend. 

I love and appreciate you very much, my bunnies, and I hope I have been able to share some of my thoughts with you. We will work on improving the atmosphere in our little naughty house.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom :) I realized last review forgot to mention with it being the 100th ep that I hit quite a milestone myself. It was my 100th review. Unreal and proud of myself for doing 100 of these. Now it's my 101st with this one. They’re hard work but enjoy doing them so much.

Love the responses these have gotten. So Thank you to everyone who's commented, liked or reblogged any of these 100 you are amazing. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. This episode is adorable for so many reasons lots of good Chenford nuggets in here and lots of John/Bailey moments I can fast forward LOL Let us get started.

6x03 Trouble in Paradise

We start with some GLORIOUS domestic Chenford. I mean legit glorious. Tim with his early morning scratchy voice. Leaning against that door frame like the delicious sight he is. Also let’s not by-pass the scruff. It's littered all over that sexy jawline of his. Mmm. Take me now sir. Anyways....To top it off he’s in his jam jams I love this. He asks her if she slept at all? Lucy telling him she’ll sleep when she’s taken the exam and gotten detective.

Tim scoffing knowing she’s not sleeping then either LOL I mean he’s not wrong…He’s so damn supportive as he listens in as she explains what she’s prepared on. The way he just nods along and listens to her vent. Every woman’s dream Tim Bradford every woman's. Checking in to test the temperature of her neuroses today heh I love him for it. He just wants to love her through this so much. It makes my heart so happy.

Lucy explains how it’s the oral portion that’s keeping her up at night. It would be keeping me up too honestly. Especially with how subjective it is. Also like to note how unfair it is how friggin pretty Lucy looks in the morning. Wish I could look that good ha. Tim asking if she still thinks Primm is out to get her? Then explains her cookie debacle. How she brought him some homemade ones and he just tossed them. I mean that's pretty damn rude....What a schmuck.

I relate to Lucy’s anxiety so much. Because I am her when I am very stressed and anxious. I get hyper focused and can’t relax. Won’t let myself do anything till that’s done. Tim once again does his damndest to calm her, support her and reassure her it’ll be ok. The man deserves a gold star for how amazing he is eps 1-4 truly. He is 10/10 incredible for her. Her legit support system through out this whole thing.

The way he tries to take her highlighter cracks me up. Gently placing his hands over hers and pulls. She holds onto it for dear life though so he gives up. lol Tim tries a different tactic. He tells her she can over-prepare. Which is true. I’ve lived this life. BUT when you are this stressed/anxious that ain’t coming through. Her reply cracks me up. ‘No, that is an idea that lazy people created.’ LMAO This made me laugh so hard cause I would say something to this effect.

Tim does a Hail Mary of logic in this last portion. Telling her she’s gonna get in her head, how she just needs to trust herself and then let it go. His smile is so pure and sweet. Truly thinking he’s gotten through to his girl finally. The way she nods. Then Lucy instantly walks it back ‘ Yeah, I don’t think I can do that.’ I’m rolling. Oh Lucy I do get you girl. Least she’s honest with her man ahha

Tim knows when to tap out and does as such. With a frustrated groan he gets up. Knowing he’s not gonna break her study spell. Noting he’s gonna go take a shower then. Little does he know the prospect of him wet and naked is enough to break it. Lucy is surprised at his sudden departure. Asking if he means right now? He’s so over the convo just gives her a ‘Yeah.’ Wiping his hands of this situation for the moment.

Lucy lust's after him as he walks away from her. The thought of Tim being her break is far more enticing than a normal break. Mmm don’t blame you girl. I would be using that man for all kinds of stress relief if I was you... Lucy finally gets up and follows her man to the shower. For a much needed break. I love the continuity of their shower sex LOL It’s bloody fantastic and we’re all here for it. I saw a great post that said ‘If only 5x01 Tim could see himself now.’ He would lose his friggin mind.

Getting all the shower sex and shower time he wants with Lucy now. She seeks him out for it and vice versa. Gah so good. The writers sure know how to take care of us. Especially with moments like this. D wrote a fantastic fic about this moment. Highly encourage you to read it. Also saw a great tag for this as well. It was their head canon he did that on purpose to get her to unwind with him. Sold! LOL I love this fandom and how it thinks.

We get to see Tim back in T.O mode and it revs my engine everyone. hahaha It just does especially after not seeing it for awhile. Tim standing there looking criminally delicious in one of my fav poses. Arms crossed, biceps bulging, and forearms front and center. Hot damn he’s such a sight.

Celina is being reprimanded for her behavior at the wedding. Because honestly it was concerning to say the least. With Nolan out and Harper needing to get back to the detective squad Tim is taking over. Lucy catches his eye and he knows she’s up to something. I love his expression. He knows he needs to see what is going on. He barks orders at Celina to get war bags ready before he goes to check on his girl.

Lucy going to Smitty has to be one of the most hysterical things. Tim literally just told her to cool it for her sanity. What does she do? Go to friggin Smitty. I’m dying. Thinking it won’t get back to Tim. Your husband done found out already dear. ha I do love the tip Smitty gives her on how Primm loves dogs. Such a Melissa detail there. Appealing to the animal lover in her. Tim interrupts their impromptu study session. This scene is comedy gold. Always is with Smitty. Dude isn’t in the show a ton but when he is. Man delivers haha

Tim can’t believe she’s gone to Smitty to study of all people. It is hilarious how offended he is when Lucy says ‘Is he even really helping her?’ Like damn that's ice cold Lucy. Man was just giving you valuable intel lol Tim corralling his girlfriend into his shift for the day is everything. Once again kudos to our man for doing his best for her. Trying to get an obsessive perfectionist to chill is quite the battle to take on. Not only chill but focus on something eIse entirely isn't easy.

I would know I am her and I feel bad for my friends when I get like this. heh. Tim riding the line between BF and Sergeant in front of Smitty is fantastic. She’s like a toddler right now and he’s continuously trying to keep her from the outlets. The parameters he puts down for both Celina and her crack me up. Still got that T.O bark in him for her. The way his eyes follow her out. *dreamy sigh* That BF side coming back out there. Smitty's comment snaps him out of it though. Too funny.

S7. Imma need more of this trio right here. On and off work. It’s such a good one right off the bat. Celina rambling nervously while Lucy enjoys herself in the back. You know she loves watching him in T.O. mode. Just like the rest of us. We also get the delicious eargasm of him saying ‘Juarez’ with that that sexy inflection of his. If it seems like I’m extra feral this ep for him it's because I am LOL No point in fighting it. I am who I am.

Lucy brings up Aaron and Tim is instantly annoyed. That convo doesn't last more than 20 seconds. Tim pulls the car over immediately jolting them both. Telling them both to get out of the car. Ahh S1 Tim trying to make an appearance. Lucy isn’t phased in the least. Because no matter what she knows soft Tim. Also just had her way with him this morning. She ain’t scared ha Their amazing dynamic never ceases to amaze me. Lucy concedes and says they can just talk at lunch...

I do love them Co-T.O’ing Celina in this one. Perfect mixture of hug and smack really. They respond to a guy who claims to have ‘amnesia’ Tim isn’t buying it in the least cause well it's Tim. They make it to the hospital to interview this man. Tim could not be more over this man and his BS if he tried.

His face while this guy prattles on is priceless. Eric out here killing it once again with his facial expressions. Let’s not forget the ZERO amount of personal space per usual with them. Always delights me paired with the height difference? I’m a happy girl. They are once again the epitome of Grumpy x Sunshine here.

No one does it better than our ship. They reconvene in the hallway to discuss how they wanna proceed. They’re so deep into their chat they don’t realize Celina isn’t there. LMAO Her looking around for them after they’ve left is so funny. Giving me 5x17 flashbacks where they kept losing the kid. Except it's their rookie which isn't much better.

Tim yelling out ‘Boot!’ Mmm yes sir. Celina running over to meet up with Tim and Lucy. He continues his gruff T.O. act with her. Telling her he's about the hang a bell around her neck cause he keeps losing her. Oh Timothy. I adore how Lucy looks at Tim while he’s in this mode. Nothing but love eyes emanating from her. You are at work madam. Reign it in it. Actually don't I love it. I would say this portion is indicative of their future parenting styles. But we all know that man is gonna be a softie to their kid(s)

Because he didn’t get to have that. Lucy is going to have to be the one to lay down the law, funny enough. Especially if they have a girl. Lord help Tim. A mini Lucy running around? Man will be a goner... I do adore Lucy jumping in and saving Celina. Because she would’ve loved that herself as a rookie. Lucy’s T.O teaching style is very in line with me as a leader. As we were see in a future ep with her and Celina. She was denied praise so she wants to give what she was denied herself. Exactly how I am as a leader.

Wanted to give everything to my people that I never got. I adore this trio so much. Very mom/dad and their kid. I love Lucy giving Tim crap for not giving her a little praise. Also Lucy defending why she let Celina just go is the best. It is everything I explained above. Tim was of course is adverse to this idea. Trying to keep that hard T.O exterior going. Lucy not backing down asking 'Have I not softened you at all?' LOL You have my dear, but that is exclusive to you and only you. On and especially off work.

We get early morning domestic Chenford x2 in this ep. I’m eating it up. D and I have had this convo about how creepy John/Bailey are with waking up the other. How they’re just sitting like a weirdo till the other wakes up at the end of the bed. It’s not sweet or romantic in the least. It’s off putting lmao Whereas this moment it’s very sweet and intimate. The way Lucy rolls over and he is the first thing she sees. *happy sigh* What a way to wake up.

Look at how that man is looking at her. Tim is head over heels for her and not hiding it at all. It's exuding out of his delicious form as he gazes down at her. I’m not well guys. I’m not well. This is so precious I cannot. Just standing there. Getting ready for the day while he let's his girl catches some much needed extra z’s. Imma implode with how cute this all is. Getting ship drunk over here and loving it.

We can see how soft this man is for her. Right after she just asked the night before if she had softened him at all? Yes Lucy. Very much so. Tim is legit putty in your hands. Never seen this man as happy as he is with her. Second gif is all the proof I need. Also there is something so sexy about the way he rolls out his cuff. Why is this so attractive? I was already feral enough in this ep ahha Look at that man above. Getting ready in his delicious black shirt like he doesn't know he's an absolute snack.

We also get a nice shot of his chest as he buttons up. Hot damn this man is so beautiful. I’m a legit puddle of attraction *fans self*. After Lucy is done gazing at her beautiful BF she realizes she has slept in. Pops up in an instant panic. Tim replying calmly she needed it. Not phased at all by her reaction. What a good man taking care of her like this.

Seriously he was in the running for BF of the year at this point. Tim tells her to take the morning off. You know it's killing him to watch her drive herself into the ground like this. He had to do something. And if a little more sleep was what he could control then so be it. It’s what he was going to make sure happened.

I love how he asks her 'Don’t you feel better?' It's his soft tone that has me melting. Does me in. Lucy concedes immediately saying that she does. So thankful for this man. Thankful for how he takes care of her without even asking. I love them so much. Also there is nothing like sleeping in after lots of sleep debt piles up. Lucy was due for it and Tim made sure she cashed in.

I adore the way she thanks him for looking out for her like this. It’s very sweet and loving. Heart eyes galore. Now the big ass smile on Tim's face after she says that. *chef kiss* My god that man is so happy to have finally gotten a victory with her. That smile has me reeling basically saying 'You’re welcome, my love.’ He then continues to get ready for the day knowing his girl is happy and rested.

Unfortunately the happy morning bubble doesn’t last for long after this. Lucy gets a text saying her test is ASAP. Which beyond sucks and just another mind game from Primm. Because we all know he makes her wait till dead last. 20 minutes my ass you SOB. I hate it sfm how he makes her wait that long only to destroy her in her oral exam. *grumble*

Honestly makes my stomach turn watching her in that oral exam. I can’t stand to watch it but must for this review. I hate her having to defend her mistake from 6x01. That shouldn’t define what an exemplary career she’s had. To this point she’s been stellar and nothing short of extraordinary. Hurts my heart to watch this scene go down. Also angers me and makes me wanna meet Primm in a dark ally with no witnesses…. Grey looks upset af when he posts the exam rankings. When she reads her results. 17th….

Gah this scene absolutely gutted me the first time. That has not changed during this rewatch. The music paired with Melissa’s outstanding acting got me all in my feels. Holy hell it's like getting the wind knocked out of you watching her devastation. How she tells Grey she’s going to die on that list. Ugh. My heart. Getting punished for taking care of Tim when he needed her. Makes me so mad I wanna throat punch Primm. Grey isn’t much comfort but that is a Tim job. It’s a rough rough scene everyone. Hard to stomach.

When Nolan damn near gets everything handed to him. She has to fight and claw for everything. Then still gets this steaming pile of crap. I hate this for our girl I really do.I truly hope we get to have a hard look at where she goes in S7. This needs to be delved into and wrapped up all in one. Our girl needs a path and a purpose. I truly think T.O. Is the calling she never expected it. Be interesting to see what they do in the next season for her following this. T.O. or not. But if she's a T.O. Tim will be her equal and not her superior for when they get back together. But I'm getting ahead of myself lol

We get domestic Chenford part 3 and it’s the best part of all. So much to love about this scene it’s crazy. The soft Tim we all know and love is ever present in this scene. Also, his partner, supportive Tim, is crushing a performance in this segment as well. It’s beyond adorable from end to end. Just what we needed after that devastating scene before. It does our shipper hearts real good.

Lucy is pouring them some wine for their night in. Cause clearly they’re not going out. She wants to hide away with her man. I do not blame her one bit. Telling Tim she can’t believe she came in 17th… That it’s almost worse than coming in last. I would be feeling the same. Tapping into her childhood a bit and the failures she feels from there.

Not only that, but I’m sure the voice in the back of her head, that sounds like her mom, is voicing the same things. About her choosing this career and life. It’s a good thing Tim is there to quell and silence all those voices. He tells her there is no prize for coming in last. BUT there is one for coming in 17th. Haha Tim then reaches over and pulls out the award he got her.

Look at the smile on that goober. He couldn’t be prouder of himself if he tried. Lucy looks throughly confused until she realizes he’s altered the trophy to ‘17st’ LMFAO. I love this man so much. As does Lucy as she grabs the trophy from him. Realizing what he's done. So many reasons to love this moment.

Lucy stated in 3x03 how much she loves trophies. Tim remembered this and got her one. My damn heart. Not only that the man was so sure she would be #1 he bought it beforehand. Lucy Chen’s number supporter right there. Front and center people. Lucy’s smile is everything. Tim is beaming because she is. Look at him in that second gif. He is smiling ear to ear. All he wanted was to make his girl smile and laugh. Check and check. Well done sir.

Tim truly was so damn thoughtful and precious through out this scene. A+ boyfriend right here folks. A damn plus. Man is soft as butter for her. We all love it. Lucy’s energy has immediately changed thanks to the man next to her. Not only does her tune change she matches his mood. Throwing back a joke of her own. Saying how she gonna have to set her sights on a different future. Then mentions Metro to get a rise out of him.

His reaction is HILARIOUS. He wasn’t ready for the joke she sent his way. Completely unprepared with a good answer. Also the stress it would bring him if she actually did. They know they work well together. That is not the problem. It’s the immense and increased danger she would be in. That’s what would give him a legit heart attack everyday. Lucy Chen has once again broken this man's brain. Gotta be a record at this point heh.

Lucy could not be cuter when she tells him she’s kidding. Her whole body bouncing with laughter. That adorableness that only Melissa can conjure and convey. It’s beyond precious. Tim with his weak. ‘I …I knew that.’ Lucy basically following it up with an ‘Ok babe…’ Whatever you say my love. LOL Not believing him even a little bit. They are so cute and sweet I’m diabetic.

Lucy then looks back down at the trophy he got her. Asking him if he really thought she was going to come in first? That self doubt and lack of confidence creeping back in. She truly needs to know and hear it from him. Needs that reassurance he believes in her. Because just like Tim’s needs her opinion of him to be high. Lucy needs to know Tim believes in her. Tim doesn’t miss a beat with his reply.

The sweet smile going along with it. He’s loves her so much. Is so damn proud of her. It just flows out of him. Wasn’t a doubt in his mind she was capable of being #1. He’s seen her defy the odds so many times. Was front row to every victory and loss that’s shaped her as a cop. He’s watched her become this confident bad ass. Overcoming insane and traumatic things only to come out stronger. Knows she’s a strong test taker. To him was a no brainer she would crush this thing and then some.

Lucy hears all that in his tone and reply. Sadly she doesn't take this as a positive. But a failure on her part. She starts to fall back into her previous mood. Feeling like she let her most important person down. Those insecurities rushing back and she is beating herself up. It’s the way she stares down at first. Then locks eyes with him letting him know she’s sorry. Sorry she’s disappointed him. I saw someone made a 1x12 parallel to this line that kinda hurt my heart a bit. And once again it's something I can relate to cause I’m the same. He is just so damn supportive and cares so so much. That it comes off as high standards.

Ones that people feel like they're going to fail to achieve. When really it's just a great depth of caring and voicing what someone is capable of. Because he was denied that in his childhood he wants to make sure the people he loves know it. So they feel this need to live up to these standards he unintentionally sets. I can so relate because I was this way with my team. I was deeply caring and supportive but also voiced a lot what they were capable of. Because I too had been denied that in my childhood and with other leaders in my life. So when others would watch my team they would tell me that I had such high standards for my team.

They did not tell me this in a good way btw. Even though I produced a successful team that loved me it felt like a slight. Now while I had those standards it was always paired with deep caring and support. Just like Tim. He is just trying to build up those he loves and can come off as high standards people can't reach. Just a fascinatingly tragic thing the woman he falls in love with mistake it as high standards. When he's just trying to show how much he cares and supports them.

I stumbled across and felt it fit this moment. Because right now Lucy feels she has failed his high standards. Failed his idea of her being #1 (which we know she hasn't in his eyes.) That she's disappointed him so much so she can barely keep eye contact with him. The potential for miscommunication for this is immense. Like it was for him and Isabel. Luckily Tim kills this before it's an issue. So proud of him BTW. His growth still floors me.

Where in 1x12 Tim has no answer for Isabel saying his standards made her feel like a failure, here he has one for Lucy. He’s learned from his past and that’s a beautiful thing to behold. He’s learned to love better. To communicate better. Loving Lucy has made him want to be better in both of those aspects. He doesn't want to make the same mistakes with her as he did with Isabel. I said back in s2 his relationship with Rachel I loved. Not because I loved him with her. But because it helped heal him. Showed him he could do a relationship again. She got him back to that place where he could fall in love again.

Even Ashley as much as we didn’t like her got him thinking about marriage, serious relationships etc again. A place I’m sure he never thought he would go again. Also taught him what he didn’t want. Even though she was the one to end it you know he learned from it. He saw all the things he wanted out of life for his next relationship and then he saw those things with Lucy. All that to say is with that growth he's gained he immediately quells the anxiety and disappointment raging inside her. Doesn't let it fester.

Squashes the thought of her thinking he could ever think that with his sweet reply. I love how he shakes his head. Kinda like how he did back in 6x02 when she asked if he loved her. Like he can’t believe she would even think he would say or think that about her. So much is said in one sentence here. The way he leans closer to her as well. Makes sure she can read her his heart eyes as he expresses something so deeply true to him. That she could never disappoint him. *heart clutch*

Then we get the sweetest kiss to wrap this moment up. I love the way she smiles into the kiss and afterwards. Makes me squee to no end. Completed besotted with the man next to her. It’s screaming all over her body language how much she loves Tim. Their kisses always bring me such shippy joy. It's hard to put into words sometimes. But this one definitely gives me all the butterfly feels. The entire scene does really.

The scene ends with the cutest smile from Lucy. We talk a lot about Tim’s “Lucy smile.” The one he only brings out for her. Lucy has the same with her “Tim smile.” Ain’t no one making her smile and legit light up the way Tim does. Look at the way she looks at that man in the final gifs. With sheer reverence and awe that she gets to call him hers. Tim is uber cute reveling in how good a job he did haha

Lucy easily gives into his comments. Letting him pad his ego this time. He’s more than earned it. Agreeing he did and she loves him so much for it. Adores this man by her side. He is keeping her afloat like no one else could. He never once gave up in supporting her through this nightmare. How even at her lowest Tim managed to take care of her and make her laugh and smile. She is forever grateful and it’s written all over those last two gifs. Cuteness they name is Chenford.

The song in this scene is called “healing rock.” Seems fitting. Tim was definitely healing her in this final scene. Also just a soothing song that played in the background. Perfect way to end it. That’s all she wrote for this one. Damn good episode for them. I was on cloud 9 after this one. Hard not to be. Thank you amazing readers for like, comment and reblog these. You are the real MVP's. see you all in 6x04 :)

~~~

Side note -Non Chenford

More I see Lucy in T.O roles more I think I want her to be one. She would be an excellent teacher. Far better than friggin Nolan.

I love Grey Checking in with Tim about Lucy. Tim telling him he will be glad when this is done. Killing him how she is has been a mess during all this. My heart.

John and Bailey had to have had the most unromantic boring ass honeymoon ever. I watched it the first time but I fast forwarded all that this time. *snooze*

[booksandspilledwine]

Reasons why I could NEVER hate Eli King

-an extensive list

Let me just start off with this excerpt from one of Eli’s chapters:

‘As I watch her peaceful expression, I almost forget that I’m married to what’s societally known as a madwoman. Worse, she doesn’t even know it. And I’ll make sure it remains this way.’

He forced organizations and companies to invite Ava to play at their events or programs so that she could rediscover her lifelong passion: the cello.

Before her performance, he texts her knowing that she’s anxious and reassures her too. 

‘My wife is many infuriating things, but she’s undeniably beautiful.’

Like hello??? SWOON.

He avoided drinking and helped Ava with her alcoholism issues.

He distanced himself from Ava because he felt that his face was a trigger to her episodes

‘I’ll carve my name beneath her skin so deeply, she’ll find me in her dreams. And her nightmares.’

Eli, Chapter 25.

“Tell me you find me beautiful.” “I find you so extremely beautiful, it hurts to look at you sometimes.” “More beautiful than your ex-girlfriends?” “I’ve never had a girlfriend and even if I had, they wouldn’t hold a candle to you.”

He memorized the letter she had written in which she confessed her feelings for him. WORD FOR WORD.

He had OCD, yet he allowed her to mess up the order of his books.

He refrained from having s3x with her because he felt that she was not in the right state of mind to consent to it. He felt like he was taking advantage of her and he did not like that at all.

He left an important meeting just because Ava showed up at the office, without caring about the consequences or what his father would say.

He stabbed a man important to his project for suggesting that all he wanted in return for his investment was sleeping with Ava for a night. He stabbed a man. IN PUBLIC. 

“You’re lucky we’re in public or that knife would’ve been deep in your throat. Look at my wife again and I’ll gouge your eyes out.”

Yet another example of him not giving two shits about the consequences and problems he’d have to face.

“You’re my wife and those who don’t respect the fact will be dealt with accordingly.” 

He literally killed a man because he sexually assaulted Ava.

He didn’t let her drive because he anticipated that she would have a panic attack and it would also serve as a trigger.

“You never treated me as abnormal and I’m grateful. No, I’m beyond grateful.”

Ava to Eli, in chapter 29.

‘And I know- I just know I’ll fuck up everything for this woman.’

Oh Eli King, the man you are.

He keeps the night lamp on because he knew how much she hated sleeping in the dark. Now, this might not seem like a lot BUT IT’S ALWAYS THE LITTLE THINGS.

“Should we go to a West End show later?”

“You don’t even like the theater.”

“But you do.”

He took care of her after every episode, bathing her, cleaning her and putting her to sleep because he knew she was in no state to do so and she couldn't even differentiate what was real and what wasn't. He did all of this without ever complaining.

No matter the situation, he, and I cannot stress on this enough, ALWAYS put her needs before his. One example is the fact that he developed insomnia because he was worried that she would have an episode at night and he wouldn’t be able to help her. That literally shows how much he cares for Ava.

‘However, the more I find, the deeper I want to go. I’ve seen her hide from her best friends just so they won’t witness her at her worst. I’ve seen her smile and laugh while her eyes were screaming for help. I’ve seen her looking in the mirror and reciting her name, age, and her love for cello while seeming as if she were staring through herself.’

He noticed every small detail about her.

“I’d never despise her.”

“Even if she’s the reason you ruin the ambition you’ve harbored your entire life?”

“Even then.”

“You’ll be destructive without a purpose.”

“I have a purpose. It’s her.”

A conversation between Eli and Leo Henderson

In the beginning of the book, we see Ava repeatedly asking for a divorce and Eli shutting that down. However, the minute Ava threatens to kill herself, he agrees to a divorce and transfer of guardianship.

He didn't want to live in a world if Ava wasn't in it. He was ready to unalive himself if she had died in her fall down the stairs. 

‘I sacrificed my peace of mind for hers, and I realize now that I would do it again in a heartbeat if I ever got a redo. Because I care about her, more than I even realized. Since she waited years for me to come around. I can do the same. For as long as it takes.’

In chapter 41, Cecily gives a long explanation of Eli’s actions. If that doesn't convince you that he cares about her, I don't know what will.

Eli would visit her at the institute every night once the doctor allowed him to. He held her hand as he sat. He would read romance books to her even though he didn't like them at all. He came back night after night, even when it looked like he hadn't slept for days so much so that Cole himself was impressed.

He took care of her plants in case she ever thought of returning.

He never took off the watch she gifted him.

“The phoenix is you. You’re a beautiful mythical being who can be born from the ashes of your illness.” “And the tree of life?” “That’s me. I believed I could contain your rebirth, every time.”

SEE?? He loved her so much that he got a tattoo for her. Also I'm just a sucker for those phoenix metaphors.

‘She might have been the one who experienced issues with alcoholism, but my addiction to her is far worse. The only difference is that I don’t wish to ever become sober.’

An excerpt from the second epilogue.

EliAva are the perfect definition of ‘Action speaks louder than words.’ Saying that you couldn't feel the love between them is just straight up stupid. If you think they didn't have chemistry, then I just have one question for you. DID WE EVEN READ THE SAME BOOK?? If you think chemistry means chasing someone in the woods, taking advantage of you, forcing some random girl who's on the verge of offing herself to give you a bl0wj0b at the EGDE OF A CLIFF, no less, then I really don't know what to say. Am I saying Eli was a good man? No. Not at all. He wasn't perfect. Every Rina Kent MMC had their own issues and were problematic. People say they want complex characters but the minute a complex character is introduced, y'all waste no time hating on them. What Eli did barely even touched the surface, especially if we compare him to other RK men. Hate on him, Ava or the book all you want but don't tell me they didn't have chemistry or that Eli never cared about her when the entire book is a testament to the fact that he actually cared about Ava a lot.