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canmom · 10 months ago

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How do you live?

I (finally!) saw Miyazaki's new film 君たちはどう生きるか (How Do You Live?/The Boy and the Heron)! It's been out in the States for a while, and in Japan considerably longer, but it took a while to make its way over here.

I remember at the time it came out, people were having fun riffing on the incredibly cryptic marketing campaign, which consisted only of this rather abstract poster...

In the spirit of this, I resolutely avoided watching any trailers or knowing anything at all about the plot of the film. I picked up a thing or two here and there - I knew to expect some amazing Shinya Ohira animation for example, and you couldn't really avoid seeing the bird with teeth! - but overall, I had no idea.

There's plenty of great writing about this film in English already, such as kvin's fantastic sakugablog piece which discusses the physicality of Ghibli's animation, its weight and springiness, as a throughline. The stuff that kvin talks about really stood out to me as I watched this film. You can likewise read detailed interviews with Toshiyuki Inoue (fantastic interview for sakubutas) and Akihiko Yamashita on fufuro.

First up, the credits of this film are pretty much a who's who of the greatest jp animators of the last 30 years, and they've had some 7 years to cook it, so naturally this film looks fucking amazing. This is absolutely the kind of film that only Miyazaki could direct - its design language feels so familiar and yet it's iterating in all kinds of visually imaginative directions that show that yeah, the old bastard's still got it.

And like, god, man. This film's animation is really something special. Its real-world scenes in particular are full of shots that require an unbelievably strong sense of space, of both subtle and broad acting, the classic Ghibli attention to detail on mechanical objects and everyday tasks. It's full of bouncing and squishing and squeezing and oozing things. It loves to draw crowds and swarms of people and animals. It's the kind of film where any given shot would be the absolute star-of-the-show sakuga moment in just about any other anime film. If you wanted a complete statement of the Ghibli school of animation, it would be hard to do better.

And yet, for all that Miyazaki's known for his tight control over animation and heavy corrections to animators, in this film he had to step back from that kind of role and hand over the sousakkan reins to Takeshi Honda, who steps up admirably - as kvin writes above, bringing in more realist elements to the bouncy Miyazaki style to create a really effective unity that grounds all the big fantastical elements of the film and fills the first act with tension.

Alongside all that excellent key animation, the film's colour and photography departments evidently understand that well-chosen colours and good highlight shapes beat all the digital gradients and overlays you can imagine - the drawings get plenty of form from the strength of the animation, and the flat shading really pops. The backgrounds are as delicious as ever, skyscapes and vegetation and opulent interiors with the just-slightly desaturated and harmonious colours that just kind of remind you that oh yeah, it is still possible to do it this way.

Basically it's a Ghibli film lol. You know how it is.

But what of the story...? What's all this technical magic in service of?

The film's story has something of the feel of a serial story, perhaps reflecting Miyazaki's (in)famous process of working out the film gradually as he draws the storyboards. Certain ideas, like the parakeet empire, arrive in the film rather suddenly and then become fairly central to the plot. There's a clear emotional throughline, but this is not a film that is in a hurry to explain itself more than it absolutely has to. It wants to keep its magical elements numinous and mysterious. I would say, though, it's generally more satisfying in this approach than some of Miyazaki's other later films like Howl's Moving Castle, and resolves a lot more clearly.

So what is it like, About? Well, Miyazaki has been pretty open about channeling a lot of his personal relationships into the film, and a lot of it seems to reflect more or less obliquely on him. It's what they call a 'personal film'. The protagonist's position as the son of an aeroplane factory owner during WWII is straight-up from life. What about the old sorcerer, haphazardly stacking blocks to keep a world alive, and looking for someone to succeed him? The reading's kinda obvious, even if Miya himself says this guy is based on his memory of Takahata. Well, he can be both...

To say more I'm gonna have to delve into the spoiler zone. See you below the cut.

OK so! Let's try and get some thoughts in order.

first, a plot summary type of thing

Our first act introduces us to Mahito at roughly the moment his mother Hisako dies in a hospital fire. This is midway through the war, which is present mostly in the background - now and then we see soldiers marching around, and of course Mahito's dad runs a factory producing warplane parts, not entirely unlike Miyazaki's own father although seemingly a bit higher up the ladder.

We jump forward a little and Mahito's father remarries - to his deceased wife's sister, no less, and she's already pregnant. This is Natsuko, who does her best to play the role of mother, but Mahito still has big traumas and he is understandably not entirely on board with the idea of welcoming a mum 2 who looks almost exactly like mum 1. He moves with Natsuko into a huge old house complex, a mix of older Japanese architecture with a more recent Western wing where the family currently sleeps - and staffed by a small army of colourful old ladies who are eager for any canned meat or cigarettes they can get their hands on.

Also there's this freaky heron that keeps bothering Mahito. It seems to have something to do with a mysterious tower which turns out to have been built by his great-uncle. Mahito visits the tower, but can't make his way inside. Natsuko tells him not to go into the tower.

Mahito goes to school, but naturally they don't much take to the new rich kid on the block, and so after being attacked by his classmates on his way home he injures himself with a rock. (His dumbass dad is like, who did this to you son, I'll fuck 'em up.) For the rest of the movie, he has half his head shaved to accomodate a bandage, which is the sort of attention to detail this movie loves.

The heron has started growing teeth and talking to Mahito, telling him to come to the tower. Mahito is convinced it's a trap, and after a maybe-dream sequence in which Natsuko shoots an arrow to drive off the heron, he steals cigarettes from Natsuko in order to get one of the servants to sharpen his knife, and then constructs a bow and arrow out of bamboo - using a couple of the heron's feathers. Constructing the bow and arrow is shown in immense, loving detail.

In the process, he witnesses Natsuko walk into the forest, and also stumbles on a book: How Do You Live? by Genzaburō Yoshino, which contains a handwritten message from his mother. He looks at this book briefly... and this is about the extent of the connection of the film to the book, beyond thematic parallels.

The maids notice that Natsuko is missing. Mahito tells one of the maids, Kiriko, that he saw her go into the forest, and they follow, finding an old road that gives another approach to the tower. They're greated by the heron man, who is increasingly emerging from the heron's beak to reveal a big warty nose. He's some kind of like... heron selkie or something, a gnome in a heron skin. There's some wonderfully grotesque animation around this guy.

Heron dude taunts Mahito with an illusion of his mother Hisako. Mahito threatens him with the bow - the heron guy is like, do your worst, not realising it's a maaagic arrow. The arrow chases him around the room and pierces his beak, fucking up his magic. At this point, the tower master shows up and orders the heron to guide Mahito. Heron guy sends everyone through the floor into a fantastical world...

Mahito arrives in front of a huge, sinister tomb. He approaches the gate, and a swarm of pelicans walk up behind, crawling all over him and pressing him through the gate. This causes a storm to start brewing, since opening the gate seems to piss off the stones or something...

A fisher woman resembling a much younger Kiriko runs up and chases the pelicans away. She takes Mahito under her wing, explaining that this world is inhabited mostly by dead people, but there are also these little round guys called the wareware, who gain the ability to fly when they eat a fish's guts.

Kiriko, uniquely in this world, has the ability to kill, so she catches fish to sell to the other inhabitants and feed to the wareware; she and Mahito butcher a huge fish. Mahito fairly quickly figures out that she is somehow the same Kiriko that entered with him. She has tiny charms representing the other maids, which serve an apotropaic function.

That night, staying on Kiriko's huge derelict ship of a home, they watch the wareware rise into the sky to be born as humans in Mahito's world. They're attacked by the pelicans, but a fire-wielding magic user called Hisa (hmmmmmmmmmm) drives the pelicans away. Mahito shouts at her not to harm the wareware, but Kiriko assures him that more of the wareware will survive thanks to Hisa's intervention.

Later, a singed and dying pelican explains the pelicans' predicament to Mahito in a scene that calls to mind the animals in Mononoke-hime. The pelicans are foreigners in this world, they don't have anything to eat, so they take it as their role to eat the wareware. The heron man arrives on the scene too, offering to help Mahito find Natsuko as Mahito - coming in to his own as a protagonist more - buries the pelican. Mahito distrusts him but eventually Kiriko persuades them to give working together a try.

Mahito and the heron set out. As they pass through a forest, the heron reveals that thanks to Mahito's arrow, he can't fly and do heron shit anymore - and by magic law, only Mahito can fix the hole. Mahito applies his new woodworking skills to fashion a bung for the hole. The heron tries to stage a top 10 anime betrayal, but then the bung needs more work, so Mahito fixes it, and from that point on, the heron joins the party and he and Mahito are fast friends.

(You might wonder why I just call him 'the heron' and not by a name. He never gets named! He's just the heron man.)

Mahito and the heron arrive at the house of a blacksmith who's supposed to help them find Natsuko, only to find it guarded by big buff parakeet men. The parakeets are splendidly goofy round guys - they remind me of the heedra in Nausicaa. The heron draws the parakeets away, and Mahito enters the house, only to find, uh oh! More parakeets. The parakeets prepare to eat Mahito, who is not carrying a child and therefore fair game unlike Natsuko, but Hisa shows up and burns them with fire magic. She looks just like a young version of Mahito's mum! Funny that. Hisa helps Mahito escape into her house through the fire, and then takes him to infiltrate the parakeets' empire.

In the human world, the maids explain the backstory of the tower to Mahito's dad. It's a weird meteorite that came from space, it turns out, and Mahito's great-uncle built the tower on top of it before eventually disappearing inside. Mahito's dad overprepares in an elaborate getup complete with katana, and goes to try to rescue everyone.

Hisa leads Mahito to a corridor full of doors which open into all the different worlds, including his own world. Mahito briefly glimpses his dad coming to try and rescue him - the two see each other briefly, but the parakeets catch wind of the whole thing and attack, and so Mahito and Hisa have to flee back into the magical world. We see that the parakeet guys turn into regular parakeets when they come into the human world. Mahito's dad becomes convinced he turned into a parakeet.

Mahito and Hisa make their way to the delivery room where Natsuko is resting, waiting to give birth. On their way, lightning starts emerging from the stone - Hisa explains that the stone is sentient and pissed with them. Mahito insists on approaching Natsuko despite this being a huge taboo. They have a heart to heart - Natsuko's mask breaks and she tells Mahito she hates him, while he finally starts calling her mother, as he's assaulted by paper charms that tear at him violently. They part, with Hisa burning the charms to free Mahito, but it's too much and they both pass out.

Mahito dreams of meeting the sorcerer, who stacks irregularly shaped wooden blocks, and explains that stacking the blocks is necessary to maintain the world, buying a few days at a time. The sorcerer reveals the huge flying rock that is the source of his power; he also shows Mahito some blocks, but Mahito somehow divines that these blocks are 'stone for building tombs' and stained with malice. The sorcerer approvingly says this is a good sign for Mahito's ability to succeed him.

While they were asleep, the parakeets have captured Hisa and Mahito. One of them is preparing to eat Mahito, but the heron arrives just in time to save him. They Metal Gear Solid their way through the kingdom while the Parakeet King - a big swaggering guy very like the colonel in Castle in the Sky - goes to press a claim on the wizard, using Hisa and Mahitos' taboo act of entering the delivery room as a bargaining chip. There's some very funny scenes where the parakeets cheer for their king.

Mahito pursues the parakeet king, but the king destroys the staircase behind him, and talks to the sorcerer. The sorcerer is inclined to wave away the transgression, because he wants to let Mahito succeed him, but the parakeet king seems to be bringing him around. I kind of forget how this part went, but the parakeet king goes away from the sorcerer for a bit while Hisa is freed from her prison thing.

Mahito climbs back up with the heron man's help, arriving in the sorcerer's little subplane. The parakeet king quietly follows him, after telling his aides to inform his subjects he was a good king. Mahito approaches the sorcerer, who reveals he has found a new set of blocks, unstained by malice, and again invites Mahito to succeed him. Mahito says that his self-injury is proof of his malice, making him unfit for the job.

At this point, the parakeet king intervenes. Angry at all this sorcerous malarky, he desperately attempts to stack the stones himself, but when they don't stack, he flies into a rage and slices them with his sword. This naturally causes the world to start collapsing, and everyone runs to the doors to escape into the human world.

Mahito has by this point figured out that Hisa is his mum, and he asks if she really wants to go back to their world, knowing that she will very definitely die in a fire not much later. But she is naturally on board with this. Young!Kiriko goes with her, suggesting that she and Hisako entered the magical world at the same time. Meanwhile, Mahito returns to his own time, with Natsuko and the heron. All the various parakeets and pelicans come out through this door too. Old!Kiriko is restored from her apatropaic charm.

As everyone celebrates their safe return (and the appearance of a fuckton of birds), the heron tells Mahito that he ought to forget what happened in the magic world. We skip forward again, with Mahito - now with a baby sibling - setting off to Tokyo. Roll credits!

now let's comment on it

This is not a film that necessarily prioritises an internal logic playing out - new elements enter unexpectedly even quite late in the film. The sorcerer's motivation is murky until late on; the parakeets become major antagonists despite entering only halfway through the film.

There is a certain temptation, knowing how autobiographical this film is, to take it is a roman à clef. Mahito is of course a young Miyazaki; the old sorcerer's concern about finding a successor might be about Miyazaki wondering who should take over Ghibli or if it should just be allowed to die. Under this schema, the parakeets might be Ghibli's legion of fans, or the merchandising empire that prints their designs on every possible product. kvin's article develops this kind of reading, finding some angles I wouldn't have even considered, such as how the idea of weight communicated by the animation factors in to such an allegaroy. It's also something suggested in Miyazaki's own comments about the film, where the sorcerer is Takahata, the heron man is producer Toshio Suzuki...

It definitely helps to know a bit about Miyazaki's background when approaching this film. However, I think it would be reductive to go too far with this kind of reading, and take everything as an allegory for something in Miyazaki's life. The film still has to stand on its own feet!

'Coming of age' is the spin put on it by some outlets, like the BBC. And this is accurate to an extent. The arc of this film is similar to Spirited Away: Mahito starts out sullen and traumatised, but like Chihiro he transitions over the course of his journey in the magical world into the kind of determined Miyazaki protagonist we're used to. On this coming of age angle... well, also like with Chihiro, I don't find the Mahito of the first part of the film especially unsympathetic, his alienation is extremely natural given his situation. Mahito's dad kinda sucks! Living in wartime Japan also really kinda sucks, even if you're the son of a rich dude. But definitely over the course of the film Mahito has a change of heart towards Natsuko, and forms friendships that motivate him to try to protect them. His character arc definitely sees him become 'more prosocial'.

However, there's another angle that's pretty important - the idea of the weight of 'malice', the cursed existences of the pelicans and the like, and the fantasy of building a utopian world that is free of these things. This returns to a theme of Nausicaa, the manga in particular, where Nausicaa discovers that the world she knows - the toxic forest in particular - is actually an elaborate artificial system for cleansing the world of pollutants, that the clean world on the other side will be uninhabitable to her and her people, and that the architects of this system wait in stasis to replace them in this utopian future world. Nausicaa destroys them, commiting instead to an uncertain future.

In Mononoke-hime likewise, we encounter the lepers and former sex workers of Irontown clinging on to the 'cursed' world. Their extractivist project proves incredibly destructive, but the film still regards them sympathetically, and the resolution sees them perhaps finding a new way to live - and San, the feral girl, reconciling herself to the idea of humans.

Here, although the parakeet king forces the decision, Mahito has already declared that he doesn't believe he's fit to oversee a utopia, but instead that his place is in the awful, violent human world.

The film, and the book it's vaguely based on, are titled How do you live? In Japanese, that's a plural 'you' (君たち). There's a lot of ways you could read it, depending on who you take as 'you' - a child asking an adult how to live, or equally a future question of how will you live. This is a lot more explicit in the novel - which I have not read, but here is a summary courtesy of wiki:

Junichi Honda is a fifteen-year-old junior high school student, known by his nickname Koperu, after the astronomer Nicholas Copernicus. He is athletic and academically gifted, and popular at school. Koperu's father, a bank executive, passed away when he was young and he lives with his mother. His uncle (on his mother's side) lives nearby and visits frequently. Koperu and his uncle are very close. Koperu shares about his life and his uncle gives him support and advice. His uncle also documents and comments on these interactions in a diary, with the intent to eventually give the diary to Koperu. The diary writing, which is interspersed with the narrative, provides insight into the ethical and emotional trials that Koperu shared with his uncle. The diary entries, which cover themes such as "view of things", "structure of society", "relation", etc. are in the style of a note written to Koperu.[8]

Thinking like Copernicus that our Earth is a celestial body moving within the vastness of space, or thinking that our Earth is fixed at the center of the universe, are two ways of thinking that, in reality, are not only related to astronomy. Even when we think about things like the world around us or our own lives, the truth is that we are still revolving around them after all.

In the end, Koperu writes a decision on his future way of living as a reply to his uncle, and the novel ends with the narrator asking the question "how do you live?" to the reader.

The author of the novel was a socialist, who had been imprisoned by the nationalist government, and wrote the book intending to impart lessons on ethics. The version of his book published after the war was heavily edited to strip the book of political content. But it's also, perhaps paradoxically, a book that centres on very wealthy characters, aimed narrowly at educated boys, though it became a widely read classic.

Studio Ghibli's films, from both Miyazaki and Takahata, have a habit of being framed as imparting something to the younger generation - something the pair seem to have seen as a mission all the way back in the days of Panda Kopanda. For example, while Grave of the Fireflies is seen as the classic tragic war movie, for Takahata it was also aimed at criticising what he saw as the careless, consumerist generation of the 80s; the stubborn arrogance of the protagonist supposed to reflect on this. It's an attitude that also emerges in their comments about Chihiro. And, indeed, one of the first things we heard about How Do You Live? was that it was aimed towards Miyazaki's grandson - and more broadly towards that generation.

So what does this film have to say to the younger generations? Let's have a look at it from Mahito's POV.

For Mahito, the adults in his life are all pretty complicated. His father is enthusiastic and well-meaning but incredibly oblivious to what his son is going through (we might recall some of what Miyazaki wrote about his father in Starting Point, describing him as basically a grifter). Natsuko is masking pretty hard, trying to play the role of Good New Mum and connect to her newly acquired son, but there's an intrinsic distance. It is understandable that Mahito would want to reject them.

Mahito is... not entirely a passive character, he goes to some efforts to for example fashion the bow and arrow and repair the heron man's beak, but mostly he is pulled around by the plot into a strange world he doesn't understand. At first, his instinct is to retreat, even to the point of self-injury. Once he arrives in the magical world, he has acquired something of a purpose (finding Natsuko), but he gets pushed into near-disaster situations (the pelicans piling up to push him through the gate at the tomb) or stumbles into circumstances where something is expected of him (hey kid, gut this fish!). Gradually though his exposure to this world pulls him out of his shell. He runs into conflicts and injustices that seem intractable - the wareware and the pelicans - and has little power to intervene except to bury the bodies.

Eventually, he gets to carry out his main objective - finding Natsuko - but despite finally deciding to accept Natsuko as his new mother, he finds himself rejected, not just by her but also by the earth. Perhaps feeling responsible for getting her into trouble, his new objective becomes rescuing freshly-damsel'd Hisa. But now new adults want things of him - his great-uncle has decided he'd make a fine successor. Mahito has to make a decision here about what relationships he wants to commit to, what sort of life he wants to build - and he chooses the world he found so alienating at the outset of the film, the one which hurt him by taking his mother, not to the secondary-world fantasy.

It could be a 'this world is all we have' sort of statement, perhaps. But also the last act of the film feels like it gets a bit caught up in Castle in the Sky-style adventure-story beats.

I do feel like some aspects of the film ended up a little underbaked - which is an odd thing to say because it's not a short film and there is so much in it already. But Hisa for example - she's got badass powers and all, but I feel we barely get a chance to get a sense of what motivates her. Why did she enter the fantasy world? She acts at first like she doesn't know Mahito is her future son, but rapidly becomes incredibly devoted to him (in a way that reads a little romancey lmao). So much of her screen time is dedicated to having her convey the secrets of the world that it's hard to get a bead on her as a person.

Likewise, Natsuko - why did she enter this world to have her baby in this special ritual delivery chamber? She clearly knows more than most of the characters, but she gets kind of sidelined after Mahito confronts her, with wizard shit becoming more central. The animation does such a fantastic job of selling her feelings in the first part of the film that it feels like a shame that she drifts away at the end.

The progression of the film feels rather like a dream, where everything is arranged by symbolic significance to Mahito. It makes sense... on a magical level, where the secondary world is shaped primarily by parallels in the real one. So the tiny apatropaic statues of the old ladies protect him because they represent the role the real old ladies have in his life. Hisa has fire magic because Hisako died in a fire. Once Mahito has come to his personal resolutions about returning to the world, the magical one is no longer needed, and it collapses.

This is not such an uncommon role for magic in a story. In Miyazaki's own works, we have Totoro and Spirited Away, where a magical world provides direction or relief to a child's real struggles. Or take for example Okiura's film A Letter To Momo, in which the three yōkai recognise taking care of the grieving Momo as their explicit purpose as spirits. This magical world comes to Mahito to help him come to terms with losing his mother, and reorient himself towards living in a painful world.

Meanwhile, the sorcerer, whether he be Miyazaki or Takahata, is quite a distant figure. He may maintain the magical world by stacking his blocks, may be the authority which factions within it must plead to, but he also rules from afar in a vast empty palace full of long halls and open air spaces. His main company seems to be a big fucking rock, with which he made a 'contract'. He's generally handling it a bit better than, say, Ushiromiya Kinzo - he receives the parakeet king with good humour - but he's a pretty flawed god of his little world. So much of this world seems to pre-exist him, it's not something he constructed. Still, when he shows up, you pretty much have to do what he says.

If this is about Miyazaki's relation to Takahata, it seems like quite a sad portrayal. But 'unapproachable patriarch' does sorta describe their role in the studio from what I understand (c.f. Oshii's infamous article comparing them to the Kremlin).

When it comes to the question of who should succeed Miyazaki, we should probably consider the matter of Yoshifumi Kondō, who was being set up as the next big Ghibli director until his untimely death - which allegedly Takahata was willing to accept the blame for. The mythology built up around Miyazaki and Takahata is double-edged.

Here are some rather startling comments from Toshiyuki Inoue's interview. Inoue is one of the most impressive animators who ever lived in my book, the other star of the realist line besides Okiura. Just have a look at his booru page: iconic scenes from GitS, Akira, Millenium Actress; even in more recent films, he pretty much carried Maquia, and steals the show with his scenes in Miss Hokusai.

And yet even he was intimidated to be working alongside Miyazaki when he first came on board for Kiki's Delivery Service, fresh off Akira:

I believe you’ve always been a fan of Miyazaki’s, why were you scared to work with him? Toshiyuki Inoue: I had heard quite a few scary stories. A lot of acquaintances had worked on Nausicaä, Laputa and Totoro before that, so I knew how scary he could be when he got angry – I had heard stories of people being fired mid-production, things like that. How was it actually? Toshiyuki Inoue: Not as scary as I had imagined. He’d only rarely scream in the studio. But he did get angry. I’d sometimes be called to some separate room and lectured alongside Kōji Morimoto and Masaaki Endō. It felt like being in school all over again.

'Only rarely'. Honestly. Inoue describes how difficult it was for him to adapt his logical, analytical style to Ghibli's stretchy, bouncy characters - and how Miyazaki would disparage him if he, for example, drew a ship inaccurately.

For Inoue, coming back to How Do You Live was something like a 'return match'. He talks about how an older Miyazaki was no longer able to strictly correct the animation, and in general age was limiting him, but he still feels that Miyazaki is fundamentally superior:

Toshiyuki Inoue: I’ve always wished for a return match or a way to redeem myself. But even if I say that, I know I can’t even pretend to rival Miyazaki. I just can’t win. He’s extremely smart and learned, and on top of that, as an animator he always transcends common sense: he’s so talented that I know very well there’s nothing I can do against it. The more I learn about him, the more I realize I’ll never be on that level.

Miyazaki's genius is undeniable, but man... it's not a good mindset to cultivate if you want to find a successor lmao. If even Inoue doesn't feel he can measure up, who the hell could?

Mind you, it does rather seem that Miyazaki had mellowed out by the point of How Do You Live?. Here's Yamashita:

Akihiko Yamashita: As I said, the core of an animator’s job is to follow what the director asks, so whenever I had trouble with that, I’d go see Miyazaki to show him my roughs. He’d advise me on the things that were missing and reassure me about those that were good. He really helped me to gain more confidence in myself.

Reading these interviews underlines pretty hard that we shouldn't get too caught up in the mythology of Miyazaki the mighty auteur. While the story may be all on Miyazaki, and most of the character designs (with the notable exception of Natsuko)... so much of the details of the animation, the stuff that really makes this film land, is primarily shaped by everyone else - Honda in particular, but also the individual key animators who interpreted his scenes. I really need to get my hands on a copy of that Industrial History of Studio Ghibli book to get a less Miyazaki-centric perspective on the studio's history.

I do not feel, having come out of this film, any closer to knowing the answer to that eternally pressing question of how do you live - I guess I'm still working out my answer to that one, and I will be until I die. And maybe that's rather the point. I think this film still carries some of the flaws of Miyazaki's later films - despite having so many iconic scenes, it doesn't quite seem to know where it's going. But I am so glad to have seen this in the theatre (I saw it at the Prince Charles theatre in Soho with friends, the theatre was completely packed!), and glad Miyazaki managed to get this one out before he goes. Whatever happens to Ghibli without its sorcerer, it's been a hell of a thing to witness.

#anime #the boy and the heron #how do you live #studio ghibli #hayao miyazaki #film

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petterwass · 10 months ago

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Ho'olheyak really is quite the tragic figure once you read her file, isn't she?

For all her being very funny and her inexhaustible Bug Bunny energy, she really has been through so much, forced into a generations-long project that she never asked for, as a mere infant.

Is a small baby she was subjected to some sort of horrible brain surgery that forced the entirety of her species history into her brain and drastically cut down her lifespan, which is implied to be both very traumatic (only a infant could possibly survive it because once a child is old enough to have a sence of "self" it would have been completely obliterated along with their mind) and with incredibly high mortality (As Warfarin puts it: "I don't want to ask her how, many siblings she *had*).

All to force her to continue her family's generations-long project to restore the bloodline powers of the ancient ku'kul'kan.

While she maintains that the brain surgery does not in any force her to do this, she could if she wanted to, drop the entire thing. But I wonder how true that is.

After all, the sunk cost fallacy is real, and once you've already paid with half of your life, what choice is there really but to continue the work? To to otherwise would be to say that the price you paid was not worth it. That the price your mother paid, and her mother before her, going back hundreds if not thousands of years, was not worth it. That the goal they worked towards is not worth trying to achieve. That the sacrifice that was forced upon you has no meaning.

Which child, implanted with scenes of your people's lost grandeur and raised from birth for this single mission, could really say that they are doing it of their own free will? That they had a choice, when they were selected to pay the price for it even before they were born?

One wonders also, how this has created the Ho'olheyak we know. How different would she be if she did not have her people's history rattling around in her brain since before she could talk?

It also explains in a way, her wanting up always work alone. After all, who else could understand the importance of her mission, how everything and everyone can be sacrificed on its altar if need be, than the one who has already paid the highest price for it, and who can literally feel the wingsbeats of ancient ku'kul'kan in her mind? Who else could ever understand.

And that's not getting into her equipment, how each part of the gear she carries is intended to mimic a trait of the mythical Ku'kul'kan, how this burden she carries is literally too heavy to bear without using her arts to lighten it (her exoskeleton alone weighs over 90 kilograms. Without using her arts to lighten it, she would not be able to move). How perhaps the burden of reviving a extinct bloodline would be too much to bear for any human, except perhaps, one created for that express purpose with Arts and brain surgery, to be the perfect, or indeed, the only possible banner-bearer that could endure the weight of generations of sacrifice towards a single cause? Maybe I'm reading up much into it but the parallels are there.

And in the end, soon enough, as her drastically shortened lifespan runs out. She will breed, likely several times to endure she has backup infants (and isn't that a cold-blooded thought? "the first one might not survive, better make more") . And she will subject her infants to the same horribly invasive and lethal brain surgery as was done to her. Until one of them survives. And that one will carry on the project. That one surviving baby will bear the torch. Will burn their life from both ends.

Of her own free will.

You can probably draw a lot of interesting parallels here. Both to the greatness of multi-generational work: "I plant a tree so my grandchildren can sit in the shade", but also to continuing cycles of abuse: "This, was done to me. I will do it to my children in turn. And they to their children. And the one that survived will carry on the torch."

I don't know. I just think she's incredibly fascinating and interesting once you get beyond the first, obvious outer layer of Sexy Fucked Up Evil Snake Woman.

There's really a lot there. And I love her. She is so very much more fucked up than you initially think she is.

#Arknights #ho'olheyak #Fucked up #Evil woman #Snake #Arknights Ho'olheyak #Character analysis #Thematics

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year ago

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Thai QL Favorites Game

*sigh* y'all seem to love torturing me with the terrible, terrible weight of having to pick favorites.

Tagged by @telomeke

Favorite Thai QL: Moonlight Chicken

gif by @jaehwany

This is so fucking hard because like…I Told Sunset About You, 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, and The Eclipse exist and I could wax poetic about all of them, about how much heart went in to them, about how strong the performances of the actors are, about how emotionally impactful these shows were for me. Because all of them were, and they were impactful and relevant to me in so many different ways. I can say with utter confidence that I have not been as impacted by a piece of television as I was with ITSAY and 180D. But, fundamentally, Moonlight Chicken is the show that started it all for me. Moonlight Chicken is the first show that I started writing analysis about, it is the first show that I started interacting with other people on this website over, I have so many tumblr friends now explicitly because of how I engaged with this show, and how others engaged with this show. And so, regardless of how many other incredible, impactful, cinematographic masterpieces grace my screen, Moonlight Chicken will forever be my favorite because it gave me a community I didn’t have before.

Favorite Pairing: First and Khaotung

gif by @gunsatthaphan

I want to make it very clear, I do not condone fanservice. I am generally opposed to speculating about the nature of two actor’s relationships to one another outside of work. So, when I talk about my favorite pairing, I mean it strictly as scene partners. First and Khaotung are my favorite pairing because they are incredible fucking actors. First is a fucking chamelian, like seriously, I saw him in Not Me first, then in The Eclipse, and I think it took me until I looked up what else First had been in during my first viewing of The Eclipse that I even realized he had played Yok. And that blew my fucking mind because Yok and Akk are radically different characters. Yok is loud, chaotic, comfortable, and open. Akk is quiet, stressed, distressed, closeted, suppressed, and First does such an incredible job with both of those characters. After I watched The Eclipse for the first time, I went back right after to watch Not Me so I could compare First’s performance, and I was just blown away. I have since rewatched The Eclipse about six times.

gif by @choikangho

Then I saw him as Alan in MLC and again, First was able to be an asshole to Jim while maintaining a sympathetic position, he navigates so well the razor thin edge that has to be balanced when it comes to making a character that first appears as an antagonistic force but whose pain and anger is immediately understandable, and he does it with ease. It both makes me sad and happy that Aof did not know how good of an actor First was. I heard from @so-much-left-to-learn that Moonlight Chicken started filming before The Eclipse was released, and that Aof wasn’t ever on set for The Eclipse and therefore would not have really had a chance to see him playing more serious roles. I am glad that Aof acknowledging how blown away he was by First means that First actually can act and I am not just distracted by the angelic face of his. Also, this boy can fucking cry.

gif by @gaykey

Khaotung similarly, I think my first exposure to Khao was The Eclipse and then I saw him in A Tale of A Thousand Stars and I was like “Hello??????????? Where did my rat bastard go? This is a sweet ray of sunshine!” Khao is a powerhouse, and a master at displaying, expressing, and articulating grief that it radiates out of the screen. It is unsurprising to me that everyone was singing his praises in MLC and I feel some type of way about the fact that Aof knew how talented Khaotung was and trusted him to carry the heavy responsibility of portraying the grief of losing a parent so soon after Aof lost his. And everyone who said that your eye can’t help but be drawn to Khao whenever he is on screen is correct. Khaotung is a force to be reckoned with, and though you are drawn to him, I don’t think when he is not the focus of the moment that he ever steals the scene. Also, this boy can fucking cry.

gif by @thebvbbletea

I think it was @ginnymoonbeam who said that First and Khaotung elevate every role they play, and I have to agree. But further, they elevate each other, and I so enjoyed the clips I’ve seen of First and Khaotung discussing their friendship and how they had never gotten to work together, and how they had a conversation with each other when they got cast opposite one another in The Eclipse being like “this is probably the one and only time they are going to have us work together, so let’s show them what we’ve got” and they just like…demolished those fucking roles, and now are scene partners in a number of shows. I loved watching the Behind the Scenes videos where First and Khaotung describe what they have learned from each other working together, especially how First is always going back to look at the camera and to observe the scene they have just recorded so he can see how the scene is looking, take mental notes, and adjust as needed, and how Khaotung had never done that until he was on set with First.

Again, I will not speculate in any way, shape, or form about the true nature of their relationship to one another outside of work, but inside of work they do appear to be deeply deeply important to each other which is just so wonderful to witness. Regardless of whether or not their friendship is that strong when cameras aren’t rolling, I love seeing sweet, vulnerable, and strong displays of male friendship where First and Khaotung are literally crying at the thought of not seeing each other every day. Like, I just think shit like that is incredibly important for people to see in hopes that they will understand that it is okay to love your friends loudly and strongly.

Most underrated actor: Jennie

I love Jennie so much, my face always lights up when she is on screen. I think she is a great actress, and gave a very compelling performance as Mae in 3 Will Be Free. I would love to see her in more things, in larger roles.

Favorite Character: Akk, The Eclipse

gif by @fuligongs

Thankfully this is a Thai QL tag only so that I didn’t have to pit two bad bitches against each other (Wen Kexing and Akk). Ohhhhhh Akk, you are trying so hard to please everyone around you, and you are so scared, and so prone to being manipulated, and so stressed out. You have so much pressure on you, you are carrying so much doubt and fear and pain. You tried to murder your classmates, you cry yourself silly over problem you are partially responsible for. You are complicated, and suppressed, and constantly on the verge of bursting, and I want to just wrap you in a blanket, give you hot chocolate, and tell you everything is going to be okay. Akk is my beloved BL boy. I relate very hard to the composition of his character. I am not an Akk apologist, because he has done some very wrong things in his life, but I love him because of all the wrongs he has done. Because he didn’t know any better, because he had a lot to lose if he did not do his job to a satisfactory degree, because he saw a hot boy who was immediately mean to him and fell head over heels, and because Akk is constantly evaluating and questioning his worldview, and adjusting it accordingly. He has such a huge heart and he’s not quite sure what to do with it.

Favorite Side Character: Chot, Step by Step

gif by @mushiemadarame

This man has his shit together and spends too much of his precious time corralling his love sick, dumb fuck gay boy boss and his love sick, dumb fuck gay boy coworker around their enclosure.

Favorite scene in a QL: 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep. 8

The farewell Wang gives to In near the end of Episode 8 is probably my favorite scene in a QL ever for a very innocuous and unexpected reason, and that is the flashback to Mon comforting Wang in the aftermath of their confrontation. Now, poor @bengiyo can attest that when I first saw the literal like…ten seconds of Wang falling against the doorframe of his mother’s bedroom, and then collapsing sobbing in to her arms, that I was sent in to the most intense emotional distress of my entire life for deeply, deeply personal reasons. I shared this entire clip because I think the confrontation itself is a marvel to behold, the way the tension has been building and building and building the entire show, and you can almost hear the whistle as the pressure finally becomes to much, and then erupts. GOD THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKING GOOD. Anyway, it took me thirty minutes to calm down and breathe properly from Wang’s “Ma” moment in this episode and because of how strongly it impacted me, it is my favorite scene.

Favorite line in a QL: “You’re allowed to be weak, at least with me” / “You don’t have to be strong, not with me”

This is a line that is very frequently said by at least one half of a pair, Akk and Ayan say it to each other in The Eclipse, King says it to Uea in Bed Friend, I’m pretty sure there is some variation of it that Praipai says to Sky in Love in The Air. It is cheesy, and tropey, sure, but boy oh boy how I love the level of safety and comfort it implies between characters. Like, fundamentally, an aspect of relationships that is constantly evaluated in romance, is who knows you better than anyone, how you show your most authentic self to the person that you love. I mean, seriously, how much of romance stories revolves around hiding parts of yourself you fear no one would ever love? How much of romance stories revolve around keeping secrets because you are scared of losing the person you have? How much of romance has their conflict arise from the revelation of the secret, but not the secret itself? How much of romance has their resolution occur after moments of complete and total honesty?

I love all variations of this line, non-verbal ones included, non-verbal ones especially: from Pran sobbing in to Pat’s shoulder in Episode 10, to Tien fainting in Phupa’s arms, to Akk and Ayan always holding one another while one or both of them cries, navigating nightmares, and panic attacks, bearing witness to abuse, etc.

All that said, the other line that has been haunting me recently is “No one has asked me how I am in awhile” said by Tawan in My Ride because oof, yeah, in many ways and in many aspects of my life I am Tawan and truer words…

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Only Friends

First being a slut. Neo being a slut. Mark being a slut. Force being a slut. Khaotung being a slut. Book being a slut. JENNIE!

This chart:

This clip from the trailer:

(gif from @ahxiang)

The playlist:

I am 0% looking forward to the fan reactions because I feel like this is a show rife for the picking around discourse, but I am looking forward to seeing what kind of a ride (haha) Jojo takes me on.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: Mork and Tawan, My Ride

gif by @save-the-data

I haven’t finished this show yet, I have the last two episodes to watch but I really love the reciprocal relationship the two of them have, I know it seems funny and ironic to say this, knowing that Mork did withhold information from Tawan and continued to try to alleviate his fears by lying to him about it, but they are open and honest with each other in a really wonderful way, I love their dynamic, and I think that as they continue to know each other, and love each other that they will only get better and better with open, honest communication, and mutual respect and care.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Akk and Theo, Enchante

Sorry if you like this show, and sorry if you like this couple, and I know this feels out of left field when VegasPete exists, when FUTS exists, when Boss and Toy exist but like…

Theo does fuck all for Akk, he just creates the most elaborate lie, doubles down on it, triples down on it, lets four other boys try to woo him, and Akk’s devotion to Theo and Theo’s downright obliviousness to Akk’s life needs leads to Akk getting fucking FIRED FROM HIS JOB BECAUSE THEO COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO RIDE THE BUS. Like…I’m sorry, but as much as I do believe that many relationships have some inherent level of imbalance, whether that is time, emotional needs, income, life experience, etc. and that can be fine and does not inherently make a relationship terrible or “toxic”, folks I’m sorry, I have seen 60 BLs at this point and I think this is the couple that I like the least.

Guilty pleasure series: There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure, I own that shit…

My guilty pleasure series is not so much a series as it is revisiting certain scenes in different BLs that I love. I have rewatched a number of the fight scenes, make out scenes, and sex scenes in the shows I have seen: Eclipse, Bed Friend, La Pluie, LITA, KinnPorsche, Moonlight Chicken, etc.

gif by @liyazaki

There isn’t a particular order, and there is no intentional plan, but sometimes a backing track of a scene gets stuck in my head and I have to watch the scene to get it out, and sometimes I’m like “damn I miss my boys”, and sometimes @colourme-feral is an asshole and reblogs King and Uea gifs and I am seized with the urge to see them again. I tend to watch kissing scenes and sex scenes a lot in the shows that I’ve seen because I love breaking down the choreography of the scene. If you don’t know by now, I spend a lot of my time in shows analyzing the body language of the characters and there are no scenes more rich with body language to analyze than the strongest emotional moments, which come through the eruption of a fight scene, or through the intimacy of a love scene.

gif by @alexshenry

I will often watch a particular moment of a scene like four times in a row, trying to parse through every microexpression on an actor’s face, or wonder how the hell they managed to get through a scene without laughing. I love watching other people have strong emotional responses in a television show because I cannot and do not act, and therefore I am constantly amazed and curious about how a person is able to make their face move like that, make their body move like that, make their eyes shine like that, etc.

Most underrated series: He’s Coming to Me

Honestly, I would say 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us is also a highly underrated series, but 180D is very heavily reminiscent of stage plays (which makes sense since the director is a playwright) and I that is not a style of performance that is as easily watched for everyone. So I can understand the physicality, and the pacing, and the space to be a barrier to actually enjoying the show. Which is why I am going to say something most other people have said…He’s Coming to Me.

I am picking this one because it is filmed in a similar style to most other GMMTV BLs which means that it is accessible to a wider audience. But it’s released was impacted by a number of different issues, including fan pushback, which is to say the least a goddamn travesty. This is a beautiful piece of media, with (unsurprising) stellar performances from Ohm and Singto. Aof knows how to do an Episode 5 roof scene, let me tell you. I have seen it on a recommended watch list from time to time, with mostly just the statement that people should watch it because there is a really good coming out scene. Which is literally all I knew about the show when I started watching it, and which promptly became a thing I got a bit miffed over, not because I didn’t love the coming out scene (I super super did) but because this show is so queer. This show is a gay trifecta (by, for, and about queers) and no one fucking told me?!

Like, seriously the only thing anyone at all had to say about this show was that the coming out scene was good? Not the way that seeing ghosts is a metaphor of queerness, not that Ohm delivers one of the most gut-wrenching screaming apologies? Not a peep have I seen about Ohm’s ramble about people’s assumptions about what and who he likes by his friends in the locker room?

Everyone needs to see this show. I know that the distribution of it prevented a lot of people from seeing it in any timely fashion, but it is available on YouTube now and I would highly, highly recommend it. This was a 10/10 show for me.

Tagging @solitaryandwandering, @colourme-feral, @ranchthoughts, @rocketturtle4

#la pluie #step by step #moonlight chicken #bed friend #mlc #hctm #3wbf #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #jennie panhan #ohm pawat #singto prachaya #180 degree longitude passes through us #kinnporsche #only friends #thai ql tag challenge #wka long post #Spotify

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felicitysmoaksx · 8 months ago

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Notes: Hi all who are reading my little drabble! So before you read this, this is an alternative take on the scene where Cassian tries to get Nesta to admit they're mates because while I'm not sure who was right or wrong in this instance, I didn't like how it was just swept aside in the books. It was never addressed that I can remember after Nyx was born and that has always bugged me. Warnings: This does have an ambiguous ending with slight suicidal undertones, so I want to say that it wasn't my intention and I think that becomes clear at the end, but I want people to be aware so that they can take care of themselves.

“Well, I didn’t have a choice in being shackled to you, either.”

Shackled…The weight of the word settled over Nesta. The last person she thought actually liked her and he was only with her out of obligation. She was probably nothing more to him than a personified cage. Her heart wasn’t so much as breaking as it was wilting where it rested in her chest. Nesta took a step back. From him. From the argument.

He followed her, guilt flowing from him to her through that tether that shackled him to her. “That was an incredibly poor choice of words.”

“But the truth, right?” She blinked. Because he didn’t say it wasn’t. Because he didn’t say he didn’t mean it, didn’t even try to refute it. Instead, that word hung in the air. Nesta dipped her head once. Her words were devoid of emotion. “I get it now.”

“It’s not-” Cassian tried to take it back now, but the damage was already done and settling around her shoulders like a heavy scratchy blanket. He stopped, “Get what now?”

“I thought you liked me and now I see how foolish and naive that is.” Such a human thing to say. Fae never simply liked another fae. “I realize now you and my sisters have to deal with me out of obligation. I’m nothing more than a burden you have to bear.”

How could anyone stand to be around her, let alone care about her without some kind of obligation? She was a bitch. Everyone hated her. Cassian even said so. With each passing moment, another brick was being laid in a wall blocking the tether that bound them together.

Cassian’s eyes widened. “Nes, please just-”

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t just. Dimly she felt him try to reach for her down the bond. Nesta shook her head. She wouldn’t be anyone’s obligation anymore. “Well, your duty to me is done, General.”

“Nesta, please.” There was an urge, to make him feel the same she was feeling now. To wield words like daggers and hurt him. But she couldn’t. Nesta wouldn’t hurt him any more than necessary. Despite not being able that he was right about what they were, she still cared about him. Instead, she declared calmly. Too calm. “I’m calling in my favor.”

“Whatever you’re thinking about doing-” Cassian warned after he stilled at her words. His back went straight, rigid. “Go back to The House and do not leave or try to come find me until your high lord or high lady come and talk to you.” She thought about her words carefully, remembering her little sister’s caution about how you word a bargain and requests of those bargains.

He tried to fight it. Nesta watched as he struggled, backing away from him. Then his wings spread and he took off soaring over her. She continued to watch him, until he was gone from her sight. Then she turned and made her way to Feyre’s and Rhysand’s house on the river. Shackled…No one would ever be shackled to her again.

#a court of thorns and roses #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #my writing #my edit

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arosnowflake · 8 months ago

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Riju's character is so incredibly interesting to me because of the ways she parallels Zelda (and Link, to a lesser extent). Breath of the Wild has a consistent theme of 'the weight of duty', and shows this with Zelda by having her receive her duty way too young, having others put too much stress on her, and showing the ways in which she cracks under that stress. Riju, too, received her duty way too young and finds this duty heavy, but unlike Zelda, she is not cracking, and this is entirely due to their differing circumstances.

Everyone around Zelda put a lot of stress on her to succeed. This is especially shown via Rhoam; we see the flashback scene with him scolding her and forbidding her from engaging with her (very useful!) interests, and Rhoam's diary talks about constantly scolding her, fighting with her, putting relentless pressure on her to train and just generally not treating her well as his daughter. Rhoam also mentions other people talk about Zelda behind her back, and not in a good way, so it's clear Rhoam is not a one-off. While Rhoam is clearly worried about Zelda, he prioritizes her duty and never ceases to put pressure on her, only resolving to do so once it's already too late. Zelda, the person, was seen as less important than her duty. All everyone talks about in regards to her is whether she has succeeded in her duty yet, whether she will succeed in her duty, and all avenues in which Zelda tries to express herself as a person are curbed. People see her, first and foremost, as a princess with a duty, not a person.

On the other hand, the moment you step into Gerudo Town, you are greeted by people worried about Riju. They are proud of her as chief and what she's accomplished, but they are worried about the pressure she's under at such a young age. After you defeat Vah Naboris, Padda, the woman who takes care of Riju's sand seal Patricia, talks about how Riju has been so busy with her duties she's barely had time for herself, and is relieved that she's now playing with Patricia and resting in her room again. In Padda's room, you'll also find a large sand seal plushie in progress, the style matching the several in Riju's room. People in Gerudo Town constantly talks about how much they adore Riju, and how worried they are for her, too.

And importantly: none of this worry or adoration seems contingent upon Riju's performance as a chief. Sand seal plushies do not aid Riju in her leadership, but they do comfort a child. While the Gerudo are proud of how well Riju has done as chief, praise of it always comes with the caveat that they hope it's not too hard on her. The Gerudo care about Riju as a person, recognize the pressure she's under, and do what they can to try and help her.

Things aren't perfect, of course; it's clear that people are too formal with Riju, indicated in the piece of dialogue where she mentions nobody's called her by her name in a long time. But ultimately, the Gerudo clearly love and support Riju as a person in a way the Hylians never loved and supported Zelda.

This does not mean Riju has no issues. As mentioned in the cutscene before Vah Naboris and the diary in her room, she deals with feelings of inadequacy and worries others see her as weak and unfit to rule. She acknowledges everyone looks at her with warmth in her eyes, but this does not stop her from being convinced others must blame her for the loss of the Thunder Helm. She feels unworthy of the adoration and worry of the others. So, much like Zelda, she has self esteem issues and is convinced people see her as unworthy, but unlike Zelda, this belief is not based in reality; Riju even seems aware of this on some level, yet still can't shake the worry. This is only natural; she's a kid trying to fill her dead mother's shoes by leading a nation. No matter what, she was always going to develop some issues from it. There is very real pressure on her shoulders, despite how kind everyone is and how much they wish to help her.

Yet ultimately, the one harshest on Riju, the one who puts the most pressure on her, is herself. This is in contrast to Zelda, who yes, does put a lot of pressure on herself, but who receives far more pressure from outside. But the #1 person who doubts Riju is Riju.

Even so, Riju is clearly much more centered than Zelda ever was. We never get an explicit reason as to why Zelda was failing to awaken her powers, but personally, I feel the implication that it was due to an overabundance of pressure is clear. By contrast, Riju is doing a stellar job leading the Gerudo despite her worries to the contrary. I find it obvious that this is because she's receiving a kind of love and support Zelda never received.

I find Riju an extremely interesting character because of how well she rounds out and plays into the overarching weight of duty theme. Ultimately, despite the issues she has, Riju's duty is a manageable weight. Yet, it is still a complex situation with very real pressure resulting in self esteem issues and a seeming lack of close connection because of the formality everyone displays with her. Riju's character shows that the weight of duty is a heavy one to carry even when people try their best to support you, yet it also shows that it's so much easier to manage when people do so. In doing so, it creates parallels to primarily Zelda and to a lesser extent Link, two characters for whom the weight of duty was, in effect, fatal; not necessarily due to their duty itself (as shown in Link succeeding in his quest during the game), but due to the undue pressure put on them.

[HAS NOT PLAYED TEARS OF THE KINGDOM DISCLAIMER]

#my posts #botw #loz #riju #botw riju #i woke up stupid early. drop riju infodump at 6:20 AM #botw zelda

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kakesuki · 5 months ago

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I was casually rethinking of the whole "roman empire trend", and the fact that so many people (some of my friends too) told me that theirs were actually fanfics, generally fanfics that were dropped in like 2015 and that were absolute fire, with great suspense and weakly update and just stopped one day, leaving them at the worst moment. And I could easily relate to that, I also have a fanfic that I read around that time and that, the three years following the disappearance I just, checked every month or so. But the more I think of it the more I feel like no, that's not it. Not because even if that fanfic owned a big part of my brain, was amazing and all there was something worse than that.

A fanfic you love being dropped always feels like shit, but when you're in a minuscule fandom with little little works, reading about a ship that, today has 3 works but at that time it was only two, one being a smut fic of only one chap and the other that one fic that lives rent free in my brain, there is something far worse than the story just getting dropped. The fic never getting finished and being erased one morning. That sucks.

Even more when I remember that the characters were actually amazingly represented, that the fic talked of a lot of heavy themes (grieve, family issues..etc) + had darker tones, had a mix between evil spirit and music that called directly the soul. Found family scenes, slow burn romance with a little bit of enemy to lovers with them starting to open up slightly to the other.

An actually beautiful writing that makes you want to continue.

It probably sounds like the worst resume ever but in truth I ate it up so freaking fast and reread it soo much. The importance it gave to the heart, to the feelings and to the act of continuing and getting over it. The main character being the golden child of his reformed family and loving them so much but at the same time burning himself; not having money, not wanting to be a weight. Dialogues that were actually profound!! Incredibly written and so perfect!

And then, it's just gone. Not finished so you'll never know the end but you can't even cope with that by rereading the beginning. It feels just like the whole work never existed. That is my roman empire.

#ao3 #ao3 fanfic #roman empire #I'm going to kill myself #ao3fic #fanfic #I'm totally normal about all of this.

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bird-inacage · 2 years ago

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Love in the Air: Comparing Sky & Prapai’s Love Scenes

(A one night stand VS our night as one)

Ask and you shall receive. I wrote a post (HERE) a few weeks ago about how I hoped they would give us another Sky x Prapai NC scene, which would provide a direct contrast to their first one. And my prayers were answered. So here’s a deep dive side-by-side breakdown of Episode 8 and 11′s NC scenes.

I’ll start with the more obvious differences in the two scenes respectively. The two exchanges take place at completely different points in their relationship, and these scenes are delivered and framed in a way to reflect exactly that.

> FAST vs SLOW: Episode 8′s one night stand is a whirlwind, a frenzied collision of two strangers. Sky’s objective was to fulfil Prapai’s proposition, and to do that in the most efficient way possible. Due to the indifference in our characters’ execution of said act, the whole rhythm is very staccato: stilted, brash and unsynchronised. In contrast, Episode 11′s love scene is lingering, indulgent and unhurried. Sky and Prapai are attentive to one another’s cues, and it’s an equal back and forth which feels wanting and relishing.

> ROUGH vs SOFT: There were multiple moments in Episode 8′s scene where their interactions in general feel like rough and tumble. There’s an edge of wild aggression, with the way Sky pushes Prapai where he wants him around the room, the way Prapai shoves Sky back onto the bed and bites his neck. There an air of immense impatience to ‘get on with it’ and with that comes a level of heavy-handedness. In Episode 11, Sky and Prapai are gentle and tender with the way they handle one another. This is shown by how they litter each other with kisses and caresses, and how they cup each other’s faces. There’s care and affection laced throughout.

> NOISE vs QUIET: Episode 8 had a very distinctive (almost nightclub like) thrum and beat to accompany the scene. This really helped imitate the headspace of our characters, where the entire engagement feels hedonistic. Their exchange is a heady rush, where the ‘music’ blares out any coherent thinking. Simply do, don’t think. Episode 11 is almost completely the opposite. All we hear is almost entirely just the sounds of them making love; kissing, moaning, breathing, whining, and that’s because this is what they hear. All they can hear is each other, and that drowns out the rest of the entire world. Everything else has fallen away. This time they are completely immersed in one another, and this present moment is all that matters.

> EYE CONTACT: In Episode 8, they barely lock eyes throughout what they’re doing. Most of the gestures feel like Sky is ‘servicing’ Prapai (such as giving him a BJ) or Prapai is ‘servicing’ Sky (when he’s kissing his back) but they’re doing that in physical and emotional isolation of one another. In Episode 11, they constantly face each other and maintain eye contact, especially when they kiss. This is incredibly intimate. To stare into someone’s eyes when you’re allowing yourself to be at your most vulnerable and out of control. When you lock eyes with someone, it means you are intentionally trying to read what your partner is feeling, and registering what is making them feel good. More importantly because you care about their pleasure as much as your own.

Now onto some of the more interesting points of note for me:

EMOTIONAL WEIGHT

I think most people will agree that the reason Episode 11′s scene makes such an impact is due to its emotional weight. Even compared to Rain and Payu’s NC scenes, this one is particularly powerful and touching due to Sky’s trauma around physical intimacy. That puts a huge amount of gravitas on what they’re doing. It’s not just sex, it’s not even just about making love. This is an absolute and fundamental test of trust that could ultimately unravel Sky. Our two characters’ growth throughout the last few episodes is now being epitomised through the act of sex. Unlike Episode 8, this is no longer intimacy with detachment or with doubt. This is intimacy with intentional emotion, and with positive feeling. This is why it’s so important that Prapai prefaced his sentiments clearly to Sky before they went ahead. There’s a mutual acknowledgement of how important this is to both of them.

TRUST: SKY LEADING VS PRAPAI LEADING

Sky taking the lead in Episode 8 was of particular significance because Sky was actively trying to retain control by following through on his terms. In Episode 11, Sky isn’t necessarily being passive and allowing Prapai to do whatever he wants, but it's evident that he is letting Prapai to take more of a lead, where he’ll respond or follow.

By doing so, he’s allowing himself to be at the mercy of Prapai, “Please shut up and take me,” is a clear nod of consent for Prapai to take the reigns. This once again implies a huge degree of trust. The whole reason Sky held back control from Prapai in Episode 8 was because he didn’t trust him. In Episode 11, Sky is essentially giving Prapai permission to overtake him, to overwhelm him. He submits himself to Prapai willingly.

Whereas the one night stand definitely felt like Sky’s objective to pleasure Prapai, this was considerably more about shared mutual pleasure. It’s not about one person’s pleasure over the other.

PRAPAI’S GAZE

There are many moments in Episode 8 where Prapai appears genuinely surprised, impressed, taken aback even by how assertive and experienced Sky is. He’s not expecting it at all. His awe derives from what he doesn’t know of Sky.

Comparatively, in Episode 11, Prapai’s gaze is one of wonder and admiration, and this is now derived from what he does know of Sky. Everything he now understands and knows about Sky only fuels his love and adoration further. The way Prapai looks at Sky in Episode 8 is in spite of what little he knows about Sky, in Episode 11 its in sight of everything he knows about Sky.

THE POSTCOITAL

In the immediate aftermath of Episode 8′s scene, Sky has intentionally turned away from Prapai. He’s already shutting himself down, closing himself in, internalising his anxieties alone. Once they both reached their climax, it was done. There was nothing more to be taken, said or enjoyed. The transaction has been reached. An abrupt dose of postcoital clarity, like an all too cold crash from a sudden high.

In Episode 11, they remain in each other’s embrace. It almost looks like they haven’t moved an inch away from each other at all. Bodies still connected and intertwined, they continue to kiss and gaze at each other adoringly. That moment immediately after climax, can be a very vulnerable state to be in, and they clearly can’t bear to separate themselves from each other just yet. This depicts a much gentler, tender, mellow descent from a blissful peak that feels wonderfully content.

The stark contrast between the two scenes was beautifully handled, and I’m so so glad we got to see this comparison in all its glory. It’s really a great example of utilising love scenes to enhance your story-telling.

#LITA #love in the air #love in the air series #LITA meta #LITA analysis #prapaisky #prapai x sky #sky x prapai #its not just sex but love #its collision vs poetry #its lust vs passion #its you VS me to you AND me #its hot & steamy to sweet & tender #its i'll try to break you before you can break me to i'll give you the power to break me #its 'let's get this over with' to 'let's take our sweet time'#its i want to revel in the moment to i want to revel in you #its 'you were just a fling' to 'you are now my everything'

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feltpool · 2 years ago

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What they do

We’re told right from the start that the batch are ‘enhanced clones’ and that they each have an ability that makes them special.

But this is an oversimplification. They don’t have different abilities, they all have the same abilities, only in differing proportions. And I’m including Omega in this too. Five enhanced clones.

Hear me out...

Tech tells us: "They manipulated preexisting aberrations in our DNA, resulting in your brute strength, Crosshair's sharpshooting skills, Hunter's enhanced senses and my exceptional mind"

Now Wrecker is big. He’s tall and he’s broad, and looks like he should be able to lift a truck without pause, let alone a troop ship. We see him pumping iron using Gonky on more than one occasion. But bodybuilders also look like they’d be really really strong, however, it’s all about the look of the muscle and they’re actually a lot weaker than their bulk suggests.

But we saw him lift that ship off of Cody so where are you going with this?

I don’t think strength is really where his talents lie. His enhancement has increased his physical density, which gives the appearance of far more strength than he actually has. The structure of his body has become vastly dense which allows him to take the strain of lifting that weighty ship without breaking his own bones, or tearing his muscles to shreds in the process.

Any human can physically lift way more weight than we generally actually do, because our brains cut in with all the warning signals to tell us to stop before we break something important.

So sure, if hysterical strength kicks in and overrides those responses people can do incredible things like lift cars off of trapped people, but they pay a heavy price for that afterwards. Torn muscles, crushed joints, cracked bones and teeth, internal bleeding, etc.

So strength alone just isn’t enough to counter the damage caused by such an action. But density just might be.

Look at the scene in TCW where he’s holding Jesse up by the neck. Rex is pushing at him, trying to make him put him down. Now Rex isn’t a small man, but he doesn’t so much as make Wrecker sway slightly, and he should already be off balance by holding a wiggly Jesse.

And it’s easy to ignore how much the clones are struggling to pull him up and away from the dianoga on Bracca because we’re led to assume all of their struggle is them having to pull against the creature in the water, not that they’re struggling to lift his hugely dense and weighty body up to their level.

They get around this same issue in TCW by having Anakin force lift him out of the Echo Chamber instead of the others having to work out how they’re going to get him out of there.

Look how much he was struggling by the end of his fight with Muchi. Sure, it was made into a joke (“He’s losing his touch”), everything with him always is. Right up until it isn’t funny anymore. Like with bouncing his head off of every hard object until his chip activated and he went into full on murder mode. But what if his apparent lack of stamina is simply the byproduct of him struggling to heft his own body weight around for a prolonged period?

There’s a gap between the fight and him walking through the streets of Ord Mantell with Muchi by his side and we don’t get to see if he spent all of that time sitting down and resting (”chargin' up before I charge in”) any more than we get to see him returning to the ship post fight.

But what does this have to do with anyone else?

With Hunter we saw the Zygerrian slaver wrap his electro whip around his arm and he barely reacted to it. And while much of the whip was wrapped around the armour on his arm he was also holding it in his hand. Given just how much those things have hurt people when we’ve seen them used previously it seems unlikely that the thin fabric of his glove would be enough to protect him from feeling it.

Unless the increased density of his body maybe helps to decrease the sensation of pain? That remains unclear as yet, but it’s a possibility.

But we also saw him fall halfway down a mountain and get up again at the bottom. Gregor, a man also wearing the same class of armour that he has, had already said they couldn’t survive that jump, and that was before Hunter solidly bounced off a lot of rocks and trees as he descended.

Oh, he shook his head a little before he got up, but he should have been dead.

We don’t get to see Tech flex his muscles much but he peels that durasteel? panel off the brig wall like it’s nothing.

And what of Crosshair?

In the mess hall we see him trying to be a good boy and not get into a brawl up until the fight comes and lands right in his dinner, at which point he uses his increased density to put enough force behind that flung lunch tray that it not only slams into two other clones, but does it with sufficient force to knock them both right off their feet.

And that’s just not normal.

But neither is the way Omega manages to slide down a cable strong enough to moor the Marauder and prevent it from breaking free and escaping from the crab creatures (in the S2 trailer) without slicing both of her hands open and causing friction burns on top. She certainly should be in no condition to spring up, grab her bow, and start firing shots.

There’s a really good reason abseilers wear sturdy gloves.

It's 'Crosshair's sharpshooting skills', not Crosshair's phenomenal eyesight.

We’re led to assume that it’s his eyesight because we tend to think of shooting as being a linear thing, because straight lines are how projectile weapons work.

But blasters aren’t like slug throwers and we see that every time Crosshair gets his reflector discs out, such as when he mows down a corridor filled with droids, bouncing a single shot off disc after disc and cutting down everything standing in between them, or setting up his Elite Squad to die long before they walk into the training room.

His enhancement is an increased mental processing speed, just like we see in Tech and Omega. It’s his ability to calculate the angles super quickly in order to set up that corridor full of droids on the fly, or to target something 10 klicks/6 miles away and to pre-place a series of reflectors accordingly so they never see it coming that makes him special.

His ability to see where a child jumped into dark night waters after a sinking droid, to calculate the distance and angle, and to shoot a grapple at just the right velocity to hit his target even against all the water resistance. And to calculate all of that in seconds before anyone is stupid enough to jump in after her.

Chances are his eyesight is no better than any other clone.

But he also shows signs that he may feel less pain than is usual, just the same as Hunter does.

A high velocity rifle with a super long barrel filled with as many collimating components as will fit inside must give one hell of a kick. Even with the shoulder padding on his original armour the recoil from the firepuncher throws his shoulder back hard every time but he never shows any sign of pain. Does an increased density of tissue simply mean he doesn’t feel it as much?

And Tech? With his self proclaimed ‘exceptional mind’?

It’s all about the fast speed at which he can process the data he acquires. Which goes well with the excellent flight skills he’s displayed, such as over Ryloth and Daro, which suggest his reaction times are exceptional, allowing him to correct for changes in environment and in combat situations really quickly.

Very similar to Crosshair’s skill, but with a different application.

Omega displayed excellent strategy skills when beating everyone else at dejarik, she identified Cid when none of the others managed to work out who she was, she manipulated Todo 360 into allowing her to repair his leg so she could make her escape from Bane’s ship, while scared and handcuffed she then managed to find the comms station and operate outmoded equipment in order to contact the Batch, then she made her escape from Bora Vio all by herself.

So her processing speed doesn’t appear to be lagging any either.

When the Batch are on Onderon Tech says “I would not discount Omega's insight. A state of heightened awareness is not unusual for an enhanced clone such as herself.”

But they’re all ‘enhanced’, I mean, that’s exactly what’s supposed to make them all so special in the first place.

A ‘state of heightened awareness’ is usually taken to mean a state in which you’re highly aware of your surroundings, hyper vigilant or focused. And those of them whose mental processes have been speeded up should be far more skilled at picking up on subtle cues and background information that other people don’t notice.

It’s like they want to make them force sensitive but without actually letting them access the force because something somewhere once said that clones aren’t force sensitive, so they’ve gone for the next best option.

So they can have hyper senses but no lightsabers.

Hunter sensed the probe droid when it was lurking in the trees and we put that down to his EM detection. But a little earlier, when it was watching them through the trees, Crosshair looked around too, even though there was no indication that there was anything there. So it seems like he felt it in some way too.

We all noted how Hunter appears to ‘feel’ Crosshair’s presence when they’re leaving Ryloth, but one person on a busy planet with a lot of people, communications, construction, etc wouldn’t give off enough of an EM disturbance to pick up at any sort of range unless they were deliberately sending out a signal, and hyper awareness shouldn’t apply since he wasn’t within sight, sound, etc range.

Crosshair seems to know where Caleb is hiding up a tree on Kaller, and he doesn’t buy that he fell over the waterfall for a moment even though there’s no evidence to show otherwise apart from knowing Hunter well enough to know when he’s lying.

In the mess hall fight Tech picks up the threat to Echo from the clone who slams him with the lunch tray even though he isn’t facing him, only turning towards him in time to warn him of the incoming threat.

We don’t notice Wrecker reacting to his surroundings in the same way the others sometimes do, but it’s possible that he might have a better sense of the space around him and the room he takes up and uses this to move around in a small area like the Marauder without bumping into things or stepping on anyone’s toes.

But no one of them noticed the scrappers on Bracca approaching noticeably before any other one does.

And it was no help to them when the Zygerrians snatched them either.

Hang on, Hunter’s skill is EM detection. Tech says so.

Yes, it is. But it’s everyone else’s skill too, they’re maybe not as good at it as he is, but they’re all picking up the signals to some degree.

However, if you’re trying to sell your team of enhanced clones as being unique individuals with a skill that makes each one special, you’re not going to want to point out that they’re all technically doing the same thing.

So they focus on Hunter’s EM detection, Tech’s fast processing, Wrecker’s apparent strength, and Crosshair’s sharp shooting.

Because it sounds fancier that way.

And fancier sells for a higher price.

When they’re talking about getting their experimental clones back Lama Su says “We only need one” and if they all have the same abilities coded into their DNA then that’d be right.

Any of them would suffice to allow them to proceed to the next phase.

#tbb #the bad batch #enhanced skills

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mushroom-winners-proof · 3 years ago

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FINALLY got round to reading the first volume of the 358/2 manga so QUICK REVIEW time :^) under the cut anyway it’s long :^))

As is typical with the Kingdom Hearts manga series, the first volume features a more comedic tone to its storyteller. Even at that however, the volume does a great job in balancing its comedy and sincere moments (though that doesn’t stop on-going jokes from bleeding into serious scenes, i.e. Xion fretting over Roxas waking up but Roxas still having his face covered in markers from the Dusks).

Moreover, Shiro Amano’s visuals never fail to impress me. I’ve always been a huge fan of how they capitalize and exaggerate how different the Organization members look from each other (namely Lexaeus and Vexen, but I’m also a fan of Axel’s fox-esque design in the mangas), and the Days manga is the perfect place to let that creativity flourish. I always liked Vexen’s dramatic and over-the-top expressions- it definitely helps accentuate how pompous of a character he was in Days and Chain of Memories and certainly adds to the comedy of the manga (though to backtrack to the Chain of Memories manga, I appreciate how Amano is still able to portray Vexen seriously- or at least not as “cartoonishly” if a scene calls for it).

Since I mentioned Lexaeus, a change that the manga makes regarding the actual storytelling is a marvelous one. Instead of Lexaeus training Roxas by... bashing him over the head like in the game, he sits and does a puzzle with him, explaining that they’re working on a mental exercise and being able to remain calm when anxious. When Roxas successfully solves the puzzle, Lexaeus encourages him to ask questions, to which Roxas inquires about Kingdom Hearts. At this point, Lexaeus solves his own puzzle and vocalizes that Roxas is starting to become more inquisitive.

I adore the changes this scene makes for a few reasons- firstly that Amano clearly loves having Lexaeus do puzzles, as he does one during the Chain of Memories manga as well. But I also love Lexaues liking puzzles in general because it reminds us that Lexaeus wasn’t just a meat head, but that he too was an intelligent scientist- he just happens to be incredibly strong and a man of few words. The puzzles are a small reminder, but a greatly appreciated one at that.

But what really makes this scene for me is the visual symbolism in Lexaeus finally separating his puzzle upon Roxas’s question: at this point Roxas has made it clear he wants to know what a heart is and is starting to figure himself out as a person. Knowing of Roxas’s future, Lexaeus saying “You will understand when the time comes” certainly holds more weight than maybe first thought of; as we will learn later on in Days, Roxas’s new goal will be to be his own person and to free Kingdom Hearts in order to “get his life back”. As we know, Roxas’s interest in the heart and what it means to have one will become a major player eventually and this scene is a nice stepping stone in realizing that as a reader.

Even more, the separation of the puzzle adds on to Roxas’s future desire to completely separate himself from Sora and have him be seen as his own person: with the heart being removed from the crown, it’s hard not to acknowledge that Roxas’s existence is centered on the heart and Sora’s signature symbol is the crown due to his necklace, evidently laying the foreshadowing on thicker this way. Lexaeus completing his puzzle at this point additionally plants the seed of Roxas’s future motivations, and while it’s a quick page I always love scenes like these.

Continuing my love for Amano’s visuals, I’ll always be a fan of their action-heavy scenes. Perhaps due in part because the Heartless disappear into fog, but not only is their line weight appropriately distributed and presents impact where it’s needed. Pardon the mist during battles featuring Heartless, Amano uses this line weight as well as line direction to set up the flow for a fight scene and lays out a subconscious map for the reader’s eyes to follow. They also manage to keep some scenes comedic while not negating the flow of combat (Sure, the comedy isn’t great here. But Axel’s face is still humorous enough for me to mention: it’s visual comedy that contrasts his dialogue, not to mention it heightens Axel’s reckless personality. Basically, it has it’s purpose beyond being a fight-scene panel or a comedic panel), and that truly adds to the charm of the manga.

Alongside with the flow of scenes, there’s generally just very pretty shots in the manga. Amano does a spectacular job coloring a great deal of panels using grayscale, helping to add depth not just to the environment but to add suspense to scenes when needed. The way the balance of light and dark shifts on page 124 does a wondrous job in highlighting Roxas’s emotions: it’s subtle, but effective. Not to mention shrouding the Organization members on page 11 draws attention to how they’re only acting like they can feel things, when in reality they’re just soulless husks who shouldn’t be able to feel at all (according to the rules of the manga, of course).

...And we shouldn’t ever doubt the power of showing and not telling; I’m a fan on how Roxas’s eyes gradually obtain “color” as the first chapter concludes, slowly but surely demonstrating how Roxas is coming out of that “zombie” state. I like how Amano highlights “the moment” Roxas finally leaves that state and is finally in a stable state of consciousness. It’s a pretty big moment for him, and this way introduces us into getting out of the stort of “prologue” part of his story.

The last thing about their artwork is that I love how Amano takes advantage of the panel space they have when they want to; even with simple panels, they make sure to use up as much of the space available to make it feel full and inviting to look at and study. It’s hard to find a panel where a background feels lacking, and if it does it can usually be assumed it’s because there’s a wall from the castle behind a character or there’s a great flash (in the case of the latter, Amano’s detailed backgrounds lend a hand in “brightening up” these “flash” scenes. Then there also exist scenes that want you to focus on a character and, just like with the “flash” scenes, the sudden lack of backgrounds gives strength to these as well). Perhaps because Amano has the advantage of drawing Kingdom Hearts characters where, whether it’s the Heartless or Organization coats, their designs heavily feature black. But Amano’s ability to balance black, white and gray in scenes is also very well done. Circling back to their action scenes, Amano’s use of the full panel additionally makes some fights feel suffocating and suspenseful- as they should! In that they do a wondrous job in putting the reader in Roxas, Axel, and Xion’s shoes and making them feel a part of the scene.

On another note about the Organization members, while the manga doesn’t focus on them for too long it sure enough is still able to give their personalities some space to shine through. I think the only thing I can really tilt my head at is how seemingly colder Xigbar is in the manga, but it’s not a detail that’s going to totally throw me off the manga. It’s a pretty small thing, and while Xigbar can be a bit playful in the games and novel, I don’t mind too much focusing more on this cynical version of him (that doesn’t mean he’s a total prick in the manga, though. He still has his moments of being a bit fun). I can’t really act as though Xigbar was ever overly playful in the actual game either, so again it’s still an appropriate portrayal of him so far.

One final thing I took great appreciation with when reading the manga were the instances where Roxas attempted to say his name, yet was always cut off. The inclusion of these scenes does a wondrous job in how Roxas’s identity really never is his own throughout Days. Roxas’s identity- on paper- is a conglomerate of other people, not to mention his own name being bestowed upon him by Xemnas. Having him not even be able to say “My name is” definitely adds a cumulative weight into Roxas’s person and his desires to have one, yet ultimately never being able to properly abtain one.

So as far as the first volume goes, I’m a pretty huge fan of it and I really love the direction it’s going in so far! HUGE HUGE HUGE shoutout to my best mate @inanotherworldarling for sending me this volume and who i promse to make this review for like a month ago OOPS so I could read it and review it for y’all :)

I don’t know if I’ll be getting the rest of the volumes soon, but I would definitely love to check the rest out and see how Amano takes on this story! Like I said, the Kingdom Hearts mangas are generally more comedic than the games and novels. With Days having arguably one of the most emotional plotlines and resolutions, I’m curious to see if they can appropriately balance comedy yet maintain the emotional impact the original Days provides throughout the rest of the volumes.

#kh #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 358/2 days #kh days #snap chats #snap reads the kh manga #this is kind of a messy review ngl BUT i just really wanted to talk about it #i mostly focused on visual elements of the manga but hey what can i do i'm an art guy #i like art my eyes like to look at things #plus tumblr will only let me put so many images on one post #lmao imagine if i did a video essay. Horrendous #ngl i considered it for a hot minute but i feel like i'd wanna do a video essay on the WHOLE days series so #im pretty sure im talking utter NONSENSE in like half of this but listen i said it was a review i never said it was a good one #im not proofreading this i said this was quick dagnabbit so it's gonna be quick #ok byyyye join me next time for uuhhhHHHHhh #i unno bestie sent me the first volume of KH2 as well #i unno if ima do an in-depth review of it like i did with this but i will read it :)#i read it years ago ngl i lost my computer Years Ago so it'll be nice to read through it again with my Big Boy Brain #ok bye now fr i gotta pee

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transformers-fan-continuities · 3 years ago

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Spotlight: Ties That Bind

This one’s a doozy folks! If you missed the last spotlight you can go read it here, but strap in for The Ties That Bind, an absolutely brilliant take on humanformers. It’s hosted here at @tiesthatbind-tf created by @artsy-hobbitses!

Q) Give us a run down of your cont! What's it about, what's it called, what's it like?

Ties That Bind is a humanformers-based original continuity which is part Science Fiction and part Alternate History where the invasion of Quintessons and introduction of their technology to Earth in 1920 sets the world and humankind on a completely different trajectory. The active narrative spans a period from 1920 to 2070, covering the First and Second Quintesson Wars, the interplanetary Antillan War (leading to the creation of Unicron on Mars) and the Great War which involves the Autobots, Decepticons and Functionist stalwarts, and how it affects the characters.

The cast is pretty sprawling and the narrative is mostly centred around human drama with bits of humor interspaced and a dash of horror (mostly centred around how the previous government often chose to utilize the technology left behind from the Quintesson Wars to create new systems of oppression, which affected many of the characters, in the name of worldwide rebuilding efforts).

Q) What characters take the lead here? Any personal favorites?

I will admit to this continuity being very much heavy on the relationship between Old Bastards Optimus Prime and Megatron, which is given considerable weight as they were best friends who had known each other since childhood and were deeply intrinsic to each other’s growths as individuals, which makes it all the worse when guilt and betrayal enter the party. Despite being captains in two corners of this battle, there’s a part of them that just cannot let go of their pasts together and they need to reconcile with how this will affect their agenda (Megatron) and how they lead their team (Optimus) who don’t necessarily share their history.

Other characters with significant development include:

Starscream, a Cold Construct in a toxic working relationship with Megatron with whom he is hiding a dark secret, who struggles to balance the underhanded viciousness he believes he needs to gain power and his innate desire from his Senate days to make the world a better place.

Windblade, a Camien native who fights her government’s apathy concerning the situation on Earth which they see as unsalvageable compared to their more Utopian society.

Prowl, a Cold Construct raised from childhood to be a cop in a police state, who finds out that he was brainwashed several times to ensure his obedience and efficacy as a government asset and is now working to reclaim some semblance of the humanity he was never allowed to feel and figure out how much of him is who he really is and how much is programming.

Hound, a sheltered Beastman who joined the fight to ensure that Beastmen the world over would have the same rights he did in his homeland of Shetland Isle, but is forcefully stripped of his humanity and faced with his animal side during the war and has to relearn what personhood means amid his trauma.

Q) Is there a bigger point to this, like a theme or some catharsis? Or is it just fluffy fun?

God with the amount of time I spent sleepless trying to figure out how the logistics of this or the semantics of that were supposed to work in universe, I cannot for the life of me say it’s fluffy fun, but I can’t exactly say it hasn’t been pretty engaging either!

There’s elements of war being messy for everyone involved where there doesn’t seem to be a clear line between friend and foe at times, but I think for most part it prescribes to Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s belief that people are inherently good, but are corrupted by the evils of society. Despite its dark themes (Including but not limited to child abuse, torture, illegal experimenation and brainwashing), love and friendships do prevail, kindness does beget kindness, found families are made, even the smallest actions matter, and things do get better because there are people on both sides who genuinely want to, and strive to make it better.

With Cold Constructs and Beastmen, it also delves heavily into what it means to be human; to have agency and personhood.

There’s also a strong undercurrent of taking responsibility for one’s actions, even if they were made with the best of intentions (Avoidance of this is what eats up Starscream and Megatron from the inside, and what Starscream eventually embraces).

Q) How long have you been working on it?

There’s two answers to this!

I’ve had a Humanformers-related universe going all the way back to 2007 around the time the first Bayformers came out---basically I had a choice between learning to draw cars or draw people (I was an anthro artist back then) and I immediately chose people.

The 2007 draft however had no worldbuilding or connective storylines and was mostly a fun little venture into character design and practice which were actually instrumental to me experimenting and learning how to draw humans properly.

I left the fandom for about a decade and when I came back to it in late 2020 around September via the War for Cybertron series on Netflix, I immediately got hooked on the 2005 IDW comics I missed out on and wanted to get around to updating my old designs as well find a way to translate several of the concepts I wanted to explore in a human sense, so the 2020 update became its own full-fledged original continuity with detailed worldbuilding and history.

You can see the artistic evolution of several characters from their original incarnation below!

Q) It’s incredible to see your artistic improvement too! Give us a behind-the-scenes look! Show us a secret ;))

Say hello to my workspace! I’ve been working exclusively on the Ipad Pro since late 2016, which is fantastic because I can basically whip up concepts and sketches on the go anywhere. Nowhere is too out of bounds to work on TTB!

Also, do enjoy this sneak peek at true!form Rung, whose synthezoid human body took years to perfect.

Q) YESSSSS alright I must admit this is one of my favorite Rungs, and certainly my fave within TTB. Amazing. Phew, anyway. Where did you draw inspiration from? What canons, what other fiction, what parts of real life?

TTB was initially conceived as a faithful retelling of the IDW 2005 narrative before it was transformed into its own continuity and as such, it borrows heavily from concepts and mirrored plot lines introduced in that run! I chose to have the series inspired off it specifically for the amount of history and worldbuilding it introduced to the franchise.

Anime like Gunslinger Girl and Beastars inspired the depictions of Cold Constructs, especially the more harrowing aspects of their upbringing as government assets instead of children, and Beastmen (Beastformers) in TTB.

I haven’t depicted the world itself in my art all too much, but the architecture from Tiger and Bunny, which has sort of a futuristic Art Deco feel to it, is what you’d usually see in major cities. There is an in-universe reason for that---with a Point Of Divergence set in 1920 followed by 25 years (an entire generation) of progress basically being kicked to the curb due to the Quintesson wars, mankind was basically in a time-locked bubble until the end of the wars, and by then their heroes were 1920s-style rebellion leaders, which lead to 1920s fashion (especially among the Manual Working Class---Megatron, Jazz and Optimus all rock 1920s fashion at some point of their lives) and architecture being celebrated and retained as sort of a reminder of how things were before The Invasion. This anime’s background design is also where I adopted the tiered system TTB’s major metropolises are often built on (with each tier being designated to a different working class) from.

The main artistic style itself is a love letter to 90s cartoons, in particular Gargoyles’ deep and drama-driven character narratives and designs as well as The Centurions’ take on body armor logistics.

I also take inspiration, especially armor-wise, from the characters’ given heritage and background. As an example, Hotrod who is depicted as Irish has the flames on his armor done up with Celtic knots. Welsh aristocrat Mirage’s armor bears olden knight-style filigree and has his Autobot logo designed as a coat of arms. Indonesian Soundwave’s armor and Decepticon logo takes cues from Batik and Wayang Kulit while their mask is based off the Barong.

Q) They are absolutely gorgeous! Show off something you're really proud of, a particular favorite part of your cont.

The worldbuilding in general! Most Humanformers I’ve seen tend to treat it like a fun exercise which it is and is definitely valid, but I found myself wanting a full-fledged world to lose myself in and I sought to try and make that world myself by drafting a detailed history and timeline of events which would affect ongoing narratives, having indepth worldbuilding to include almost all societal aspects of the universe and expanding on the concept of Beastmen and Cold Constructs existing in a human setting.

I’m not so secretly proud of the research and diversity included to make the cast look like the multicultural, globally-based team that they were meant to be instead of being locked to a single region! My original draft from 2007 was, to put it simply, quite culturally monolithic and I wanted to improve on that aspect with TTB.

I’m also proud that I’ve kept to it this far! I’m a notoriously flaky person jumping from one idea/fandom to another and to have kept at this continuity for the better part of ten months is honestly a personal feat.

Art-wise, this scene depicting a young Megatron working alongside Terminus and Impactor (cameo by @weapon-up-wallflower‘s OC Missit!) is definitely one of my favorites since it helps build up the world they live in and plays to familial bonds and comfort found in one another despite their less than ideal circumstances.

Q) Everything has come together so beautifully, you absolutely should be proud. What other fan canons do you love and why? Would you like to see them interviewed?

I am dying to hear more from @iscaredspider’s Sparkpulse continuity! Her designs are MIND-BLOWINGLY GORGEOUS and I want to hear more about what inspired her to work on it!

Also YOU. Yes YOU BLURRITO. LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT SNAP.

Q) [wails and squirms away in the mortifying ordeal of being known but in a very flattered way] I WILL SOMEDAY I PROMISE aflghsdjg thank you QwQ

Well that was fantastic, Oni, thank you muchly! A magnificent continuity with so much to look forward to! Coming up next is another personal fave of mine, the first inspiration for SNAP, so stick around...

#long post #gore #ties that bind #spotlight #transformers #HUMANFORMERS #transformers au #tf original continuity #transformers fan continuity #transformers redesign #maccadam #i said id post this on sunday but i realize thats a holiday for lots of folks on this site :/

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bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 3 years ago

Text

Trick or Treat

The next A Very Bouncey Halloween installment and a belated birthday gift to my darling @veritasrose. Thank you so much for the last year of friendship, I look forward to celebrating with you again. <3 you are much loved.

tw: curses, Geralt is an idiot, competent Jaskier

---

Light flashes through the room and momentarily blinds Jaskier, who stumbles back against Geralt. He mumbles an apology to the ever-sturdy Witcher as he waits for his vision to return and when he blinks clearly for the first time after a few long moments, the bard feels utterly and totally confused by the scene unfolding before him.

The Duke’s grandest ballroom, which had been bustling with excitable party guests only moments ago, is now flooded with ghouls, ghosts, vampires, and monsters of all sorts. A woman with swan’s wings is huddled in one corner, squawking angrily at anyone who tries to draw near. A minotaur stumbles through the center of the dance floor, lowing in frustration as he tries to control his bulky limbs. Two werewolves wrestle for dominance atop the furthest banquet table to their left. As Jaskier takes it all in, he feels Geralt’s hands wrap suddenly around his bicep; the Witcher is clinging to Jaskier fiercely, leaning his not insignificant weight against the bard’s side as his eyes grow round and watery.

“What’s happening?” Geralt finally asks. His tone of voice seems breathy and high, filled with a terror - almost totally foreign to Jaskier’s ears. Geralt fears nothing and yet… “Let’s get away from this dreadful place, please!”

“Aren’t you going to try and solve this problem?” Jaskier asks, glancing at his companion. He gestures at the various monsters roaming freely past the buffet table. “You’re likely the nearest Witcher, after all.”

“I’m no Witcher,” Geralt declares. He splays a hand over the very center of his blue velvet doublet (a nearly perfect imitation of the way Jaskier reacts to a perceived offense). “I am a Count. Witchers are dirty things, not meant for such a public life as my own.”

“For fuck’s sake, Geralt, now is not the time for a prank of this nature,” Jaskier huffs. “Something is clearly going on here. We need to help these people!”

“I know something is wrong,” Geralt sniffles - fucking sniffles - and squeezes the bard’s upper arm even more tightly. The sound of Geralt crying shakes Jaskier into understanding, even as Geralt begs: “But I don’t know how to help! Please get me out of here, Milord, I’m scared.”

Milord? Jaskier mouths to himself, even as he wraps one comforting arm around Geralt’s waist and ushers him away from the growing chaos at the center of the ballroom. Jaskier hurries them down one suspiciously empty hallway after another until he reaches the small suite that he had accepted as payment for his performance at the party. Jaskier ushers Geralt inside and locks the heavy oak door behind them.

“My Lord Geralt,” he gets the not-quite-Witcher’s attention. “Do you mind taking a seat by the fire for now? I’ll be right with you as soon as the room is secure, and then we can figure out what’s going on and what to do from here.”

“Yes, Milord,” Geralt nods. He hurries to comply with Jaskier’s request, to the bard’s continuing shock and awe, and stays still and quiet as Jaskier removes his doublet and rolls up his sleeves. Using the strength he’s spent twelve years at Geralt’s side developing, Jaskier shoves a bookcase, a dresser, and an unfortunately designed roll-top desk in front of the locked doors for added protection.

Moving behind Geralt with practiced efficiency, Jaskier also closes, shutters, and locks every window in the room, pulling the curtains closed to keep any light from spilling out and alerting stray creatures of their presence.

When he’s finished locking down all of their room’s possible entrances and breathing hard from exertion, Jaskier tugs the Witcher’s xenovox from his bag and flips it open, waiting with bated breath until Yennefer’s irritated voice snaps: “What do you want, Geralt?”

“Who is that?!” Geralt cries from his place near the fire. He has a white-knuckle grip on the overstuffed armchair he’s perched in and his clothing is mussed; Jaskier motions for him to be quiet and Geralt bites his lip, worrying the soft pink skin between his unusually dull canines.

“Was that Geralt?” Yennefer asks. "Did Jaskier summon me?"

“Yes and yes,” Jaskier replies. “I think he’s been cursed or enchanted or something. I was hired to play at the Duke of Rinde’s All Hallow’s Eve celebration and Geralt accompanied me - even dressed up for the occasion - but something happened at the party and now he’s acting strangely. I don’t know what to do.”

"What's happening?" Yennefer prods.

"Geralt is acting rather out of sorts. He’s speaking strangely, he wanted to flee the party rather than investigate the source of the changes-”

“What changes?”

“Everyone sort of… Well, a good portion of the party guests suddenly transformed into their costumes,” Jaskier explains, his speech stunted by his disbelief. “I know it sounds incredible, and it was! One moment we were all enjoying the music and the next… there was a minotaur and a mermaid and a faun… Geralt went nearly mute and started clinging to my arm like some sort of aristocratic maiden!”

“Oh shit,” Yen groans.

“Who is that?” Geralt repeats. Jaskier continues to ignore his companion. He knows that the moment he turns his attention to caring for Geralt, he won’t be able to tear it away again, and he needs to finish this conversation with Yennefer first.

“Why are you swearing?” he asks the sorceress. “What is it?”

“Geralt asked me for advice about this stupid ball a few days ago, while you were busy making arrangements with the Duke. He wanted to impress you with his All Hallow’s Eve costume and prove that he could be just as fancy and well-mannered as all the other men of your status.”

“Why in the world would Geralt want to dress up and act like a nobleman? It makes no sense! He detests small talk, he hates vanity, and he finds most men of my station to be cowardly and overly delicate - myself included! I just- I don’t quite understand why he’d go through all of this just to impress me. Or why he thinks this kind of thing would be impressive in the first place.”

“Jaskier, please tell me that you aren’t as stupid as our mutually beloved Witcher…”

Jaskier considers for a moment, pondering the things that he does to impress Geralt: gathering wood, learning to cook with game meat, preparing the Witcher’s potion ingredients while he's out on hunts, organizing their packs when they're spiking camp, brushing Roach’s mane… Realization dawns suddenly and all at once. He has a moment of pure understanding, a moment much beloved by every poet, bard, and playwright across the Continent: “Oh.”

Yennefer gives a tired laugh. “Yeah.”

“So he’s stuck as… a noble?”

“I suppose,” she sighs. “I’ll portal you to my location and we can figure things out in peace. Get your things together, I’ll open it up in precisely five minutes.”

“What’s happening!?” Geralt demands. Jaskier pulls the Witcher/Count to his feet and bows shallowly.

“I am Jaskier Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove. I will be your protector and chaperone for the foreseeable future, Your Lordship,” Jaskier bows shallowly. “I’m going to gather our things together and then we are going to meet up with a very lovely sorceress, Yennefer of Vengerberg.”

“Is she a friend of yours?”

Jaskier barely manages to hide his surprise at Geralt’s utter lack of recognition. His memories of Yennefer have also been taken, then.

“She’s a mutual friend.”

“Are you my friend?”

“I would like to think so,” Jaskier smiles. Geralt remains oblivious to the bard’s heartache, even as he curls himself against Jaskier. He tucks his face against Jaskier’s shoulder and sobs quietly. The bard runs his hands comfortingly up and down Geralt’s spine for a long, soothing moment. The smooth, royal-blue velvet tickles his fingertips. “Shh, dear heart. I’ve got you. Everything will be alright, I swear.”

“I trust you,” Geralt whispers.

Just as Jaskier is about to reply, Yennefer’s portal snaps open in the center of the room. Jaskier hands Geralt a set of bags and hauls his own over his shoulder. “Time to go, Your Lordship. Just take one little step…”

---

“Do you know who I am?” Yennefer asks. Geralt shakes his head before burying his face in the back of Jaskier’s shoulder-blade.

“I’m so frightened, Milord.”

Frightened? Milord? Yennefer mouths. Jaskier shrugs nearly imperceptibly and makes a panicked gesture in the Witcher’s general direction.

“I don’t know what to do either!”

“Well, start from the beginning. Tell me what happened at the party before all of… this.”

Jaskier recounts every detail he can remember in the most straightforward way possible, momentarily renouncing his poetic skills in favor of efficiency - for Geralt’s sake, of course, not Yennefer’s. When he's finished he asks: “And you said he did all of this to impress me?”

“Yes.”

“But why?” Jaskier repeats his earlier question. Yennefer understands that his meaning is different; Jaskier understands that Geralt is interested in him romantically, but the bard can't seem to get it through his head that Geralt has deemed him worthy. Although, knowing the Witcher, he isn't even sure how to go about doing such a thing in the first place.

"I just... I don’t quite believe you," he adds.

“He loves you,” Yennefer reiterates. "And now he’s stuck like this until the effects of the spell wear off, so I suggest you take his precious Lordship to one of my spare rooms and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll see you both for breakfast, providing the magic is null and void by then.”

“And if it isn’t?”

“I hope you enjoy small talk, you bardic bastard.”

Yennefer smirks and disappears from the room in a whirl of black and white silk, the scents of lilac and gooseberry curling through the air in her wake.

Geralt clings to Jaskier’s bicep again as the exhausted bard stands, keeping his larger body pressed against the human’s side as if Jaskier is the one who wields the Witcher’s swords. “So I’m under a spell?”

“Yes, darling.”

“At least I have you here to protect me, Jaskier. You’re so brave and strong; my hero!”

“It’s usually the other way around, dear heart, but I appreciate the sentiment. Now, how about we find a comfortable place to bed down for the night, Milord?”

"Alright."

Jaskier moves Geralt's hand so that it's curled around the inside of his elbow, the proper etiquette for a platonic escort, and leads him quickly down the long hallways of Yennefer's sprawling manor house. He chooses the blue-themed bedroom at the back of the East Wing, far from the sorceress' own suite of rooms.

He has to help Geralt change out of his lordly costume, the Witcher-turned-Count fumbling uselessly at the laces and buttons as if he'd never seen a fastening before in his life. Geralt whispers shyly as Jaskier pulls a nightshirt over his head: "Thank you again, Milord Jaskier. I feel as if I can't help but continue indebting myself to you."

"Think nothing of it, dear heart," Jaskier smiles, ignoring the pang in his chest. "I am happy to help you."

Jaskier tucks Geralt into bed before changing into his own nightclothes, tossing his things back into their travel bags as he swaps outfits. He feels Geralt tense up when he sits on the edge of the bed and his eyebrows narrow in concern.

"Are you alright, Geralt?"

"Are you going to share a bed with me?"

"Would you rather I didn't?" Jaskier answers with a question of his own.

"I... I wouldn't mind it if we shared."

Jaskier wishes he had Witcher sight, so he could catch a glimpse of the blush no doubt attempting to stain the Witcher's face. Despite the mutagens, Geralt's face still went pale pink when he encountered a strong emotion. It was adorable. And incredibly rare.

As soon as he pulls the covers over his chest, Geralt glues himself to Jaskier's side, snuggling close. "Feels safer," he says in lieu of explanation.

"Goodnight, dear heart."

"Goodnight."

---

"Fuck," Geralt groans, sitting up in bed. Jaskier sits up beside him, wiping the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Good morning, Milord," he teases.

"Shut up," Geralt groans. Jaskier does get to see him blush this time, and the bard revels in it; he would trade all the gold in the world to see Geralt flush like this. "I can't believe I cried on you!"

"It was rather adorable, actually."

"Hmm."

"Still..." Jaskier reaches out, tentative, and cups Geralt's cheek with his palm. He turns the Witcher's face and locks their gazes together, blue meeting gold. "Still, I think I prefer you as you are. My big, strong Witcher who cares so much about defending the little guy. Willing to step in and help wherever and whenever he can."

Geralt's eyes get a little glassy and he leans forward, pausing and letting Jaskier make the final decision. The bard meets him halfway, pressing his lips against Geralt's without any sense of urgency at all. It's warm and sweet, time fading away as they let their feelings pour through this one simple gesture. When they pull apart again, Geralt gives a surprised, lopsided smile. "Oh."

#geraskier #geraskier fluff #a very bouncey halloween #geraskier first kiss #geraskier and buffy #btvs au #geraskier fluff and silliness #curses #cursed geralt #nobleman geralt #yennefer was there #bamf jaskier #competent jaskier

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obeymebabes · 4 years ago

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Could you do a second part to Mammon running away where the brothers run into him or track him down and they see how terrible he looks and/or they saw him drinking alcohol and just let himself go not caring what happens to himself and when he looks them in the eyes they just see how broken he truly was 💔💔💔💔 I'm a hoe for angst and I just think Mammon needs more appreciation then he gets and I apologize if you're not taking asks I'm kind of new to Tumblr

I don't think I'll ever get tired of writing angsty Mammon HCs.

Warning: Angsty angst. Sad boys. Painful.

Lucifer

When Lucifer first found his brother, he felt his heart shatter all over again.

His sense of pride was completely lost, seeing what he had done to the person he wanted to do nothing but protect.

“Mammon?” He would ask, quietly, as guilt was now visibly written all over his face.

Lucifer could physically see the emotional damage that was done when Mammon turned to him.

The pain that flashed on Mammon’s face upon seeing his elder brother really hit Lucifer hard.

That pain was quickly hidden by anger, Mammon was both pissed off yet somewhat relieved that Lucifer finally came to find him.

“What are ya doin’ here?!” Mammon would scream, eventually letting his anger break him down to tears, ending up in Lucifer’s arms begging to come back, apologizing profusely.

“Shh, it’s okay Mammon. I’m here. I am so sorry. I should have never driven you past your breaking point. Please, please come home, we miss you. I miss you.”

It’s rare to get Lucifer to the point of tears, but in this moment, with the knowledge that his brother was now safe, he was sobbing.

“I never stopped looking for you. I promise I won’t let this happen again. Please, just talk to me next time. I can’t lose you again.”

It was a heart-felt moment that they knew they both needed.

Levi

We all know Levi doesn’t get out much, so running into his brother had completely caught him off guard.

He honestly didn’t even notice that it was Mammon.

It felt like a scene in an anime. Everything slowed down, Levi’s heart feeling the weight of his previous actions. He was frozen in shock. He hadn’t expected to ever see his brother again.

“Is it really you?” He hadn’t even noticed that he spoke out loud.

Mammon looked just as shocked as Levi.

“What are you doing here?” Mammon questioned, trying to sound defensive, but in reality he was happy to see his otaku brother.

Levi, snapping back from his frozen state of shock, nearly ran to hug him.

He was a mess, having thought he would never see his partner in crime ever again.

This also meant that he would have a chance to get his money back.

“Hey hey whadda think you’re doin’?” Mammon was quick to try to shove off Levi, messing with him a bit.

Levi would just sit there embarrassed, fiddling with his fingers and mumbling “oh, sorry.” and then Mammon would smile, grab him, and just squeeze him.

“I’m kiddin’. I don’t think ya understand how happy I am to see ya. I’m sorry for leavin’ ya. It was wrong of me to do.”

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve said to you. I was just jealous, you know? You’re just.. The Great Mammon, and I’m just lame old Levi.”

“Ya didn’t run away like I did, and that makes ya a lot stronger than me. I’m proud to be your brother, Levi.”

With a smile, Levi went back to squeezing Mammon, which was quickly followed by “Dude, you reak, when’s the last time you actually took a shower?”

Satan

He wasn’t the first one to notice his brother. No, instead Mammon was the first to notice him.

“Satan?” Having heard his name, he turned, seeing a very sad looking Mammon standing before him.

“What in Devildom happened to you?” Satan couldn’t help but question him. Mammon looked terrible. Like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

While Satan was generally cold to his elder brother, his heart pained at the sight of him so broken.

Without much warning, Satan went in to hug Mammon, explaining to him that he knew what it felt like to feel out of place.

“Please, Mammon, if you ever need someone to talk to, know that I am there for you. I know I contributed to the mess, but I am sorry. I don’t mean to take it out on you the way I do. I hope you can forgive me.”

Mammon nodded, sending a smile to the Avatar of Wrath.

With a smile, he ruffles Mammon’s hair.

“Besides, I can’t keep pranking Lucifer without you.”

Asmo

Running into Mammon while he was out shopping was not the way he wanted to see his brother that he felt responsible for driving away.

Upon seeing him, Asmo nearly collapses, dropping his bags, his eyes watering, chest tightening.

He was temporarily frozen in time, right until Mammon caught his gaze, Asmo then lost it.

The Avatar of Lust was now sobbing in the middle of the shopping plaza, but he quickly wiped his tears, launching himself at his brother.

“Oh Mammon I never thought I’d see you again! I am so so sorry.”

Mammon was incredibly confused at the heartwarming actions from the brother that he thought hated him most.

“Asmo? Are ya alright?”

Holding Mammon’s shoulders, looking at him through watery eyes, Asmo nodded, smiling.

“I never should have said such awful things to you. You are my brother, and no matter how much you get under my skin, please know that I will always love you.”

With a sign, and a few tears, Mammon nodded, finally giving in and being the one to pull his brother into a hug.

Asmo let out a soft chuckle, letting go to wipe his eyes and retrieve his bags that he dropped moments ago.

“How about I treat you to a makeover? You look like you could use one. Hehe.~”

Beel

He had seen Mammon lingering around the outside of a restaurant, practically digging through the trash for what he could only assume were food scraps.

Feeling a heavy weight on his heart, he quickly went inside to buy a whole slew of items for both himself and his struggling brother.

When he returned outside, he headed over to his brother, letting out a soft cough to let him know he was there.

“Look I ain’t doin’ anythin’ bad alright! I just- oh. Beel? What are ya doin’ here?” Eyeing the food that Beel had before him, the gluttonous demon handed it to him.

“Take it. It’s for you.” Beel reassured him.

Taking the time to sit down at a nearby table, Mammon explained why he decided to run, and how he regretted every moment, but he felt so ashamed to come back. Especially after the angry letters that he had written.

“Mammon, you have all of us worried. We are your family. We are here for you no matter what happens. I know that everyone is harsh on you but we still love you.”

Beel smiled at his brother, watching him enjoy what looked to be his first meal in possibly days.

When he was finished eating, Beel pulled him into a hug, trying to reassure him that everything would be okay.

“Please come home, Mammon. You don’t have to keep struggling like this with us by your side.”

Belphie

Having woken up in the middle of the night to yet another nightmare about Mammon’s departure, he was taken by surprise when he saw Mammon actually sneaking back through a window into the House of Lamentation.

Rubbing his eyes, he tried to make sure he wasn’t simply hallucinating.

“M-Mammon? Are you really there?”

Jumping at the unexpected voice, Belphie quickly realized that he wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating his brother’s sneaky return.

“Wait-” Belphie grabbed his arm before Mammon tried to flee. “I just want to talk. Please. Everyone else is asleep. I won’t even mention that you were here if you don’t want me to.”

Mammon groaned, giving in to his brother’s request, sitting down to let him talk.

Even through the darkness Belphegor could see the hurt and pain that was lingering across Mammon’s face from just being back in the very place he fled from.

When talking to him, Belphie explained that he understood the hurt that he was going through. He had also mentioned that he had kept having nightmares about when he ran away, fearing that Mammon would get hurt.

Taking it to heart, and realizing how much this had affected his brother, as well as the others, Mammon reassured Belphie that he would stay.

“Thank you, Mammon. I am glad that you’re here.” Belphie smiled, followed closely by another yawn. Hopefully now he would be able to get proper sleep, knowing that his brother is alright and safe.

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boytouya · 4 years ago

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READER SOCS X GREASER DABI- IM -yes pls omfg - 💫

𝙂𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙞𝙣𝙙

a/n: flashback in italics!

Warning: brief fight (rumble) scene, one (1) mention of homophobia, 1960s society

Words: 1.3k

The outskirts of the East rest on jagged roads and blend into smooth pavement, that of which belongs to the West. There’s nothing like it, a clear outline that separates the fortunate from the unfortunate, rich from poor, privileged from oppressed. The only grey area is a Drive-In. It sells the best popcorn you’ve ever tasted, with butter that melts right on your tongue.

In the West, Socs litter every corner. Whether they’re walking their dogs or going after an ice cream truck, you can expect to see people with well-clipped hair and ironed clothing. The sickeningly green grass was always trimmed, and it seemed that they were always attending parties. It never mattered, because their parents were the ones giving them enough money to swing by in school without even trying. They were all fast cars and dirty mouths, anyway. But you’d never say that out loud, they were your friends. And you were a part of the group too.

…

“Tuff,” Dabi whistles, watching his little brother-Shouto- wheel in a shiny car. He’s stripped of his leather jacket, instead it’s sitting in his hand. The car was a Mustang, all silver and an engine that revved a great amount of noise. They were getting pretty popular, but there was no way it was their replacement car. Too expensive, and Greasers didn’t go around owning cars anymore. “Who's is it?”

The boy shrugs, patting the car with a heavy hand before popping the hood and throwing a towel in Dabi’s general direction. The older makes a face, twisting his eyebrows and shifting his weight from one foot to the other, clearly waiting for an actual response. Sometimes he curses Shouto for picking up on his own habits. “Clean looking man came by, he looked scared. Then he asked if I knew how to fix cars. I said I didn’t, but I know someone who does. He gave me a card.”

“You go around telling my whereabouts to a nobody and expect me to do it?”

“He’s not a nobody, he looked very important.”

“Even worse, a Socs.” Dabi grunts. His little brother was always so neutral, if the kid knew how to be a little more intimidating he wouldn’t be dragged into so much of his shit.

”He offered a lot.”

And that’s enough to get the scarred man moving.

…

After all the partying, greasy food was the best way to soak up the alcohol in your system (or so you’ve been told). The Drive-In was the best place for that, and you got to see a good movie during it too. The uncomfortable back and forth movement of your best friend's car is almost unbearable as your friend ‘gets some.’ You try not to let it bother you, instead munching on your popcorn and crossing your legs on the hood of the car as it moves.

Not everyone is sitting in their cars, and since the Drive-In was the only area both Socs and Greasers stayed, there were a few motorcycles tied to metal poles. You subconsciously wondered what it would be like to ride one. You nearly jump out of your skin when an arm wraps around your shoulders, and you’re grateful for the dim lighting; parking so far in the back.

Your boyfriend, all scars, dark hair and sharp canines looks so smug as you playfully push him away. He settles on the hood of the car, almost hyper aware of how he shouldn’t be sitting on a Socs’ car, and grabs a handful of popcorn, “What’d I miss?”

“Just about the whole thing.” You try not to frown, you really do, but you only get to see him once a week, twice if you really begged hard enough. Your schedules were completely different, and no one could know you were together anyway. The only dates you’ve ever had were on his rooftop or driving around the outskirts of the East.

You met Dabi when he was getting jumped by a subgroup of Socs, he was hunched over and gripping a baseball bat while he got his stomach kicked in. You considered begging them to stop, almost risked your own life and thought about beating them up yourself, but you couldn’t risk your status. When the group left you said you’d stay behind, making up the excuse to ‘be sure the hood wouldn’t snitch,’ but you really just wanted to make sure they didn’t kill the poor guy. It was an unfair fight. Five against one.

“They really did a number on you, huh?” You offered your hand, wrapping one around his shoulders before he shrugs you off. He didn’t accept your support, instead pushing himself off his knees with the help of his baseball bat. You didn’t notice till later, but it had blood on it.

“You boozed-up or somethin’? Better get goin’ ‘fore they get on your ass too.” You could tell he was holding in his groans, and he looked just about ready to collapse. His leather jacket slung off his shoulder, and there was a rip in the arm.

“They?” You said instead of mentioning the obvious pain he was in, patting down your slacks. They were speckled with dirt.

“The Fuzz,” He shrugged, and there was a loud crack resounding from his shoulders. His face contorted into a mixture of a grimace and anger, and he turned to leave. “Wouldn’t want a rich, handsome fella like you involved with someone like me, would you?”

“Wait!” You stepped forward, mentally cursing yourself for being so loud. You lowered your voice, and instead gently grabbed the hem on the leather clothing. He didn’t turn to meet your gaze, he simply tilted his head to the side. “Your jacket.”

“Pretty tuff, ain’t it?” There was pride dripping from his voice, and under the grime, blood, and deepest shadows, you could tell he was incredibly handsome.

“It’s ripped.”

“Oh, really?” His voice was flat, and the emotion vanished. He still wasn’t fully facing you, but he looked as if he was ready to scram at any moment. You wished you could have met under different circumstances.

“I could fix it for you…?”

“Right now I go by Dabi. I’m sure you could, prince charming.”

“Don’t be like that,” Dabi’s gaze shifts from the large projected screen and back to you, his eyes lidded and a lazy smile on his face. You absentmindedly trace the cross stitch you used to fix his jacket the night you met. If there was one thing you hated about Dabi, it was the way he was so nonchalant. You met his brother once (and by accident), and it seemed to be some sort of familial attitude. It was hard to get under his skin, and his ability to mask emotion until it popped was intimidating. You saw it when people called you slurs, you saw it when he mentioned his father, and you saw it when you left to go home with your friends. Where your Sun set his had just risen, and you wished you could be on the same side of the world. “Always got things to do, hun.”

There’s humor lacing his voice, and you ignore the suggestive bite to his lap as you settle into your spot next to him, hesitating before you give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. His staples pull against his skin. One day you’ll ask how he got them, but for now you’d rather just admire them in their beauty. You know that after this you’ll go back into your separate lives, pretend to like other people just for the approval of your family, and go to bed thinking of the Greaser with a sharp tongue and sweet nicknames.

“Goin’ sweet on me, sugar?” He teases, shrugging himself out of his signature leather jacket and placing it over your shoulders. Dabi was different from any other person you’ve ever met. He didn’t judge you, not for the way you looked or dressed, not for who you liked either. Hell, maybe you even loved him!

And although you don’t have all the time in the world, you have tonight. And that might just be enough.

#💕.dabi #get it the title is based off pony boy’s favorite book #dabi x male reader #anime x male reader #my hero x reader #mha x male reader #mha x trans reader #bnha x you #bnha x male reader #touya todoroki x y/n #dabi x you #x male reader #x male oc #💫 anon

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coexiising · 4 years ago

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angel of small death & the codeine scene - anakin skywalker

SUMMARY ◆ anakin is just so fucking enamored by you that he can’t take it holding back from professing it anymore. porn with a plot lol.

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, lowkey public sex but not rly, y’all just fuck in his ship in the hangar, dirty talk, unedited

WORDS ◆ 2.5k

NOTE ◆ this is based off of the song ‘angel of small death & the codeine scene’ by hozier so yeah listen to that if you desire but i can’t stop you if u don’t. this is really short lol im just indulging

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“YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE HAVING TROUBLE WITH YOUR SHIP?” YOU ASKED THE GENERAL, WALKING UP THE RAMP. it was later in the day, and just as you were going to call it a day and settle down for the night, you got a call on your comms asking for you to come down to the hangar. that was where the commander told you that they were experiencing some problems with general skywalker’s ship and sent you to do your job.

you hadn’t been working in tech for super long, still young enough to make a real job out of it. but you joined the side of the republic in the war because you didn’t want to see democracy die, and if you could play a small part in that, that was good enough for you.

there was a clank of something mechanical from the main control center and no response to your question, prompting you to walk towards the noise to find out if the general was making the problem worse. the second you came within a few feet of him, he jumped and turned around to face you, wrench in his hand. “maker, you scared me,” he stated.

a small grin made it’s way onto your face. “aren’t you supposed to be able to sense things coming up behind you?”

generally, you wouldn’t be talking that way to a general of the republic. but anakin was different, more close to your age and really didn’t care all that much for titles or respective ranks. you could see it with the way he treated the soldiers with as much respect he would give to someone like general kenobi or general windu.

anakin laughed, stepping out of the way to let you see what he was attempting to do. you saw all these wires popping out of place, and one of the pipes completely busted out of its socket. how the hell had he managed to do this? you turned back to face him and cocked your head to the side, motioning at the carnage and saying, “how did this even happen?”

you allowed your eyes to only look into his blue ones, because you knew the second you let them do what they wanted, you would look over him like he was a meal. and to your defense, anakin was incredibly hot. there was no denying it. but he was a jedi, and a general, and to the most of your knowledge nothing was ever going to happen.

he cleared his throat. “just a . . . just a mishap that’s all, look, can you fix it or not?”

“yeah, it shouldn’t take too long,” you replied, setting down your bag filled with tools and beginning to work. and then hopefully you would finally be done for the day and could get some much needed rest.

“alright, i’ll be back in just a moment,” anakin told you, his hand coming to your waist for just a moment to push past you. you knew that it was just something that he did absentmindedly, but it sent a shock through your body, making your brain hotwire for just a moment. but as soon as it was there, it was gone and you were alone in his ship.

anakin knew that he was a reckless person. it was evident to anyone that most of the time he did what he wanted, not taking into account any of the possible consequences afterwards. you would think that being a jedi wouldn’t keep that much room for error, since sometimes the weight of the galaxy sat on his shoulders, but there were times where he felt himself breaking away from the jedi code. and that happened the second he saw you.

he knew that it was wrong to lust over some mechanic that he only saw from afar most days, but you were just so goddamn beautiful he couldn’t help himself. anakin admired the way that you carried yourself, confidently in anything that you did, the way that your hair framed your face every day, and the face you made when you were concentrating.

at first it just started off as a passing thought, just a brief ‘oh, she’s hot’ instinct that everyone had once in a while, but now he knew that he wanted you. and anakin was planning on just letting the feeling run its course until it was sucessfully gone, but the second you walked into his ship, he could feel the want practically jumping off of you.

he had to have you, especially now since he knew the feeling was mutual. there was just the tricky task of initiating something.

you puffed out a small breath, biting the inside of your cheek as your fingers carefully patched wires together. it was getting later and still no sign of anakin again. weird, you thought to yourself, but not so unlikely. it’s not like you needed him to complete your job anyways. you went back to work, wondering what could have possibly happened to general skywalker.

it seems that devising a plan to get your attention was harder than the man wanted to admit, because he had been standing next to the ramp for almost ten minutes now since he had left for a quick daily briefing. he was probably looking like an idiot just standing there. to hell with it. he would just improvise. like he did most things.

“you finished yet?” you heard anakin ask from behind you. you shook your head in response, taking a moment to look at him.

“your power converters are basically fried,” you told anakin, your cheeks flaring up at the way he was looking down at you. sure, there had always been a slight height difference between the two of you, but you were crouching down right level with his hips. you bit your lip and immediately got back to work, pretending like you weren’t just thinking about giving him a blowjob right then and there.

the problem was that anakin knew exactly what you were thinking and that smirk came onto his face, leaning against the wall closest to you and watching you work. your face flared up, feeling his eyes trail on you. “do you have to watch me while i’m working?” you asked him in a hushed tone, as if you weren’t trying to ask him that indirectly.

“am i making you nervous?”

your stomach dropped, you were so flustered by him that the cable almost slipped out of your hands onto the floor. luckily you were quick to conceal it and you hoped that anakin didn’t notice. but he did, he was watching your every move, seeing how long it took before you broke. “no, general skywalker, you are not making me nervous, just tired that’s all,” you said, not daring to look at him.

though, the next thing anakin asked caught you off guard.

“when are you just going to admit you want me?”

you would be lying if you said your knees didn’t feel like giving out right then and there. anakin said it in a deep voice, like he was teasing you for your attraction towards him. your mouth felt dry, like someone was stuffing cotton balls right down your throat. there wasn’t anything you thought you could say to try and defend yourself.

instead you stood up and crossed your arms, looking into those eyes to decifer what he was thinking. anakin was looking right back at you with those magnificent eyes of yours, yet there was a hint of something else there. he was being mischevious and you knew it, toying around with you all because he could feel the feelings you were giving off. “fine, general, i do feel something towards you, but what does that have to do with anything?” you said, deciding to take the high ground.

it was like a lightbulb went off in his head, and before you knew it he was walking up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer. woah. this was not the reaction that you thought you were going to get. honestly, you thought that he would kick you out and order for someone else to come fix his ship. this was definitely not that.

“I asked you,” he started, one of his hands coming up along your back to your neck. you shivered and leaned into his touch. “because i want you too.” both of you were staring into each other’s eyes, almost daring each other to make the first move.

and that’s all it took before you were leaning in, hesitating for just one second more as your nose brushed against his own. there was still time for you to compose yourself and walk away, leave your desires there and forget this ever happened.

to hell with it. you wanted him and he was looking at you like you put stars in the sky. the stupid jedi code would just have to be pushed aside for the moment, because you were closing the gap between both of you and kissing him, body intermingling with his own.

it was a mesh of your gasps from his roaming hands and his groans from your own hands tangling and tugging on those curls of his that were just begging to be ran through. you could’ve sworn anakin tasted like berries and he kissed with so much want and need that it was almost hard to keep up with him. but you did nonetheless, wanting as much as he was willing to give you. these types of things only happened in your wildest dreams.

your back was soon pressed against the wall that he was once leaning on, one hand on your waist and the other sitting comfortably on your neck to keep you close to him. the air was hot and heavy surrounding both of you and you pressed your body against him, signaling that you needed him right now.

anakin pulled away, cheeks red from lack of air. “the guards come to check the hangar every 2200 hours,” he told you, forehead pressing against your own. you looked at the clock behind him and saw that it was almost that time, and that you had at least fifteen minutes maybe less if the guards decided to come a few minutes early.

you were quick to think, your eyes landing on the chair near the controls. he seemed to hear your thoughts, pressing a kiss against your lips before bringing you over there by your hands. you pushed him down onto his seat, pulling down your pants just enough and watching as he pulled himself out of his pants.

of course anakin skywalker was packing.

you swore that if you could take your time with him, you would already be on your knees for him. oh well, there would just have to be a next time.

“hurry,” anakin said to you, helping you up onto him so you were straddling him, your knees on either side of his sitting body on the chair. you put your hands against his shoulders for support and once you were ready, you sunk down onto him and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. he filled you up just right and it was better than you could ever imagine. anakin panted below you, head bowing down to nip at the exposed parts of your neck.

the second the pain began to subside, you experimentally moved your hips forward, feeling a wave of pleasure course through your entire body. it almost stopped you from moving, which was not good for the time constraint. just as you were about to begin again, anakin grabbed your hips forcefully and lifted you up slightly, biceps flexing as his hips raised to meet your own.

you couldn’t stop yourself from making noise while he continued with this fast pace in the same way, mouth wide open and hands shaking as they tried to keep their hold on him. you were hot all over, every time he pushed into you it felt like he was splitting you open so deliciously. the noise being made by both of you incredibly lewd, though it was on neither of your minds.

you always thought that anakin looked so good after battle, when there was still sweat on his brow and his hair was all messy. he looked like that now, except you were the person messing up his hair and making him sweat, and that made your heart swoon. you wanted to kiss him and now there was nothing stopping you. your lips attached to his in a hungry kiss, tongue slipping right into his mouth and prodding against his own. everything was hot, sloppy, and messy and you didn’t care.

“you look so hot like this,” anakin told you against your lips, pulling back and watching your face as he pounded into you. and he wasn’t lying, it was one of the best things he’s ever seen in his life. he made sure that he would remember this moment so he could replay it in his mind over and over again. “if i would’ve known you’d take me this good i would’ve done something sooner.”

you couldn’t respond to him with words, only moans that came from deep in your throat. you weren’t going to last much longer, not when every time his hips hit your own it rubbed against your clit for just a short moment. you tried to help him with the movement, circling your hips and feeling the release creep up on you before you could compose yourself.

“anakin,” you moaned out as you hit that much needed orgasm, looking right into his eyes as you fell apart. you were so sensitive that you whined against his neck where your head now laid, making use of your lips by kissing along his tanned neck.

a few more thrusts and he was there, cumming right inside of you and making you hum in contentment. the two of you caught your breath against one another, his hand coming to rub against your back in a way that was surprisingly really loving. you moved your head so you were facing him and he leaned in to give you one last kiss, pushing away the hair that had fallen into your eyes.

a new voice in the hangar made you jump, realizing that the cloned guards were here. both of you scrambled to get up, helping each other dress and look at least a little presentable. your legs were shaking with every step and you heard anakin laugh a little from behind you, making you hit his shoulder jokingly. the footsteps came closer and soon enough one of the commanders was looking at the two of you. for good measure, you picked up your bag of supplies.

“general skywalker, you’re out here late,” the guard said, giving a look at you. “is everything alright?”

“yes,” anakin responded. “the mechanic here was just finishing up work on my ship.”

as soon as the guards stepped away, you gave him a look. “you know i didn’t even finish repairments, right?”

anakin shrugged, a grin on his face. “i guess you’ll just have to come back tomorrow then, same time?”

“sure thing, general.”

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin smut #star wars #star wars prequels #star wars fanfiction #star wars x reader #star wars smut #anakin skywalker x you

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