#and ive been trying not to post on here
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I love dolls. I always have. There's something to be adored about little figurines, plushies, motionless objects that you give your own warmth to. I love dolls and how they can be changed so easily, how, yes they can be ugly. But who cares because in the ugliness you can. I dunno. There's still love in there. Someone will love it, and it can't be hurt.
I wish I was a doll. It would be nice to have joints, fabric, strings, whatever, and not need to make decisions, I could rip and tear and have no say. I could be as dirty as I am now and boom. Someone could throw me in a washing machine or take care and fix up all those bad parts. Or they could just be there, be emphasized, I don't know. Nobody can truly hate dolls, There's always a box I could stay in, and nobody would care. I could be forgotten to time and not have to worry. Why would dolls need to worry about anything.
That makes me think of doll customizers. The ones that rip off faces to replace them with the little clay ones or other faces, I feel like it's a lot less aggressive than it seems. It's a bit comforting, taking your old identity and throwing it out for the new, nicer one. Like. How do I say it? It feels kind. Cutting out your old parts, creating you a new face, a new you. And there'd be no reason to fuss because, again, you're just a doll. Why would you be sad about that? Or mad? It's your intended purpose, to be played with, altered, for them to maybe see a character, friend, even see them in you. There's no reason for misery when you're a doll. Siigh :-)
plushies are nice too. I like hugging them.
This Ramble probably makes Zero Sense but. It does to mmeee:-)
#i cannot remember the last time i was hugged! phooey.#i wish i could be seen as cute or something#i want to word stuff better but its nearly four am and im oddly sad#and my head hurts again#and i wish i could be held because its so cold#someoone said i looked like a doll once and i was. so happy.#iw ish i was jsut a doll and not this#i hate being in this body and i. hate having flesh its awful#if i were cold could you atleast not. gah. i dont know#i really don't know#I'm just sad#and ive been trying not to post on here#i made another vent account but fukced up like twicw and reblogged stuff from there and reblogged stuff from mutuals on here#my eyes hurt#im crying#ive been. so paranoid lately#about everyone i know secretly being _#and it Fucking Sucks#hgjjjj#i want to say more but i won't because. gah.#:-(
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im actually obsessed with 2-4 phoenix he is tired of all this bullshit. i love how he does not say a word for like 5 minutes after edgeworth enters the room
#hes on no hours of sleep running on anxiety barely processing what just happened#i think hes allowed to lash out a little#im trying to get more comfortable posting doodles here because ive been doodling a lot to cope w the stress lol#phoenix wright#miles edgworth#franziska von karma#farewell my turnabout#ace attorney#fanart#art
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I haven't drawn in so long and tf2 comes back with a bat to my brain again after I first got super into it when I was *checks notes* 14 I gotta get my gears wet again and like, rediscover how to draw and I'm wetting my feet again with a heavymedic shit post 😭
------------------- EDIT: The original images contained a text post from someone who did not want that text post spread - So let's have the blank versions instead! Imagine any dialogue in there that you want lol
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 heavy#tf2 medic#heavymedic#red oktoberfest#man they need a different ship name#its been 11 years on and off being into tf2 and here I am... finally posting for it#you shouldve seen the drawings id made when I was 14 - the shift from anime bishi men to... 30-50 year old comic-style burly men AAA#It was crazy#this is also the media that made me trans LOL#anyways! Im excited to draw for tf2 while im into it for now and am interested in stepping my toes into this fandom proper :)#Im also really glad that Ive grown so much in terms of drawing ability that I can feel comfortable drawing heavy#i didnt even try it when I was 14/15
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Trust me bro he wants you
#its their first date :)#neither of them knows yet#i dislike this one but i had sooo much fun making it so im posting anyway#sometimes i look back on my stuff and im like yeah they would not say that#and then i dont post it bc im picky ab characterisation#i feel like this here lol!#also ive been trying out new pens lmk if this is not working out#zoro#sanji#zosan#one piece#fanart#artists on tumblr#ely's art#sanzo
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earlier this year I started writing a comic about the siege perilous-grail quest situation after finally finishing the didot perceval, and it started circling around kay and perceval. kay as gatekeeper, taboo anxiety vs chivalry, and perceval not doing things "correctly," arthur's enduring affection for kay. that general area. also the horror of the grail quest itself.
this is comic is part of that narrative arc, so with THAT in mind: this is an abridged scene of a longer arc revolving around kay associating camelot with a cage, perceval's associations with jewelry and knighthood and the color red, and arthur's relationship with kay.
[some other scene context: perceval has injured his hand and can't participate in the tournaments, so he's craving some kind of fight. kay is disinterested in replying to this challenge, but he's not above reminding perceval of their first meeting. it's just mean enough in a weird-intimate kind of way that perceval's like, ok so we're doing the antagonistic version of court romance rituals. he picks up hunting because kay can't leave the castle.]
on the subtext of jewelry:
Clothes Make the Man: Parzival Dressed and Undressed, M.D. Amey
on the topic of kay, gatekeeping, and taboo anxiety:
Cei and the Arthurian Legend, Linda Gowans
the whole Red Knight/Perceval Shows Up In A Dead Man's Suit Of Armor transgression-situation (which kay references through red jewelry) mentioned is told in both de Troye's and Wolfram's Perceval narratives :)
anyway! to close out all this out: the transgressions. incredible! what is camelot but a bunch of transgressions stacked on top of each other tbh.
#i wanted to do some kind of siege perilous-grail quest horror comic after watching bresson's lancelot and i think#after several years. i figured out what kind of story i want it to be#like it no longer feels abstract i can see the story core and now i have to hack away at the clay to see if i can make a figure out of it#HEUGH. okay. i'm gonna wrap this up here. ive been Very Under The Weather lately in some kind of way#trying to get back in the swing of things. but augh. eugh. they need to invent a kind of body that doesnt fall to pieces#the minute it gets slightly less sun than usual like vitamin supplements only go so far. awful flesh prison experience#komiks tag#long post#knights knights knights!
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The illusion of choosing a path when it had been carved out from the start
It was out of love, though. For you.
You can walk out if you want.
#i had to redo this whole thing bc it didnt post. thanks tumblr#they are fine they just need a second#perkeo forgot thats a huge deal bc theyve been working on it for such a long time so its just a normal tuesday#i wanted to draw a background so it wouldnt look so empty but that would've taken too long so good enough#i also hate the 7th image with burning passion but ive redone it 4 times already so good enough²#they are wrapped in a blanket btw. bc i like being wrapped in blankets#ive stared at this too long it doesnt make sense to me anymore but im posting anyway bc we ball#immortal au#immortal au art 🎨#dca au#dca fandom#dca community#doodles#sunshine draws#comic#dca fnaf#dca sun#dca moon#< technically. kind of implied. but heres there#please dont tag my stuff as fnaf#oc#if i forgot any tag i probably wont add later anyway. it is what it is#this took a while#it was more annoying to try to upload it than to actually make it
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they're not that nice......
#um. hi :) i wanted to post more but life got in the way so im just gonna leave these here.....#the nice guys#holland march#jackson healy#holly march#my art#im soo normal about them etc....#ive actually been drawing these guys so much ive just also been trying out a lot of stuff#so i barely end up finishing it. sorry...#anyway. i hope this reaches the 4 remaining the nice guys fans thats all i want
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Persecution Complex, or: "Just You, Me, And The Weight Of Your Dead Girlfriend Between Us"
#reanimator#reanimator 1985#herbert west#dan cain#danbert#bride of reanimator#my art#this is the only comic piece from my zine im gonna post here i think. im trying to show SOME self restraint.#but im too geeked abt how this one turned out... want to share The Vision#i may get scared and delete. im shy abt my comic writing. but.#have an early installation in the Gay Herbert West Character Study ive been drawing all year.#shoutout to tumblr auto cropping longer posts now. so i at least dont feel inconsiderate formatting this vertically lol.
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jakey + dirkjake sandwiched between my organic chem notes. a poem in there somewhere
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#jake english#dirk strider#erisolsprite#brobot#dirkjake#admin draws#fanart#ok so the latter two are. a bit old and drawn in a rush because as usual i had thoughts about dirkjake and hair BUT ALSO#while reading the post-timeskip chatlogs i was like hm jake's hair looks kinda long here. i might be crazy tho#and then i continued thinking. because Ive had jakes haircut and t has to be trimmed often and i dont trust his ass to competently do that#so i think brobot helped out there and post entry it fell on dirk to trim it#and i think as their relationship worsened the first thing to properly go was the haircuts. because jake couldnt be assed to sit in dirk's#company for the duration of a haircut. direct line of strider word vomit while ur held captive basically (massive overdramatization)#so. its a good thing he got interrupted after trying to cover the tattoo up. because i guarantee you he wouldve been waking up on that#quest bed with breakup bangs.#finally formatted this one in drafts to post so im not leaving yall too high and dry again#i see my askbox and i appreciate it btw! its terraria night but i hope to be drawing tomorrow :]
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IM FUCKING BACK BABYYYY!!!! [Read tags for a lil info!]
(Please accept this silly doodle dump of my brainrot boys uvu ✨)
#HI!! HIHI!!#posting now when its a little dead lol but#omg sorry for suddenly disappearing ive been seeing all your dms and asks#just had college finals and a mental breakdown so had to take a break off tumblr xD#BUT IM BACK AND HAVE SM TO POST#i was still drawing a lot lol#im gonna go on an ask answering spree tonight/later today so I'll try get to most of them#also tysm for 5k here :') so cool u guys like my silly little doodles#cant wait to be silly here again hehe 🤭#SENDING KISSES!!#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#rottmnt donnie#jax#tadc jax#huskerdust#husk#angel dust#tribbleart#tribbletalks
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YJ S3 Dick, still in the midst of his fever dream, hides underneath the 'souvenir' instead of behind some boxes, and accidentally opens the airlock trying to take care of the Parademons. The others get it to close... but not before Nightwing is thrown into space.
There, he stares at the ship holding his friends and mentors. There, he wishes more than anything that he can, somehow, survive. There, he tries to live, if only so his family don't have to bury him like Jason.
There, Nightwing dies, wanting to save everyone, even with the cold seeping into his bones far too quickly for a regular section of space.
Then, Dick opens his eyes to... Earth? There's a little house, and grass, and trees, but there's a bubble of green over it all. Outside of that green was an entire castle, one that looked like it should have far more support beams than it does for even a hope that it stays standing.
And the sky was swirling shades of that same green. It makes him think of Lazarus.
"Well, that's something you don't see every day." He whips his head behind him, a bit too fast for Earth's atmosphere, but it doesn't hurt him. Past the bubble of green was a blue-skinned adult in purple robes, the insides of a grandfather-clock fitted inside their torso, and a black staff with a stopwatch on its top. Beside them was a man with snow white hair, glowing green eyes, a crown of frozen fire dancing above his head, and the most galaxy-like cloak Dick's ever seen clasped to his shoulders. He's wearing... a hazmat suit? Maybe? The twinkling stars and odd lighting of wherever he is were giving him a bit of a headache.
But in front of those two, within this bubble, was...
"DICK!" Wally shouted with unrestrained glee, a blur overtaking his spot for barely a heartbeat before Dick's stuck in a crushing hug that he reciprocates once his brain stops feeling like its melting.
He doesn't know how long it took for them to calm down, but the man with the crown spoke up after a time, as Wally was still wiping their faces free of tears. "Welcome to the Infinite Realms, Nightwing." Dick barely even registered that he was still wearing his suit, but now it felt suffocating. "I suppose you're the one Clockwork was holding out for; There shouldn't've been enough Ectoplasm around you to form a Ghost, and your physical body's still in space. I can see why you like this one, though, Clockie," he states flippantly, turning to his companion. Almost like he didn't expect Dick to pay too close attention to what he was saying.
"Either way, there's two options for you." The man didn't let Dick swallow his tears and question anything. Dick's not sure if he's grateful or not. "First: Stay in the Realms permanently. You'll see Kid Flash whenever you want and learn to be a Ghost with the denizens of the Realms. Maybe find your parents."
"But..." Dick pulls away from Wally, keeping him at arms length, eyes flitting between them. The two outside the bubble were distinctly... ghost-like, so the mentions of 'Ghosts' make sense. But Wally looked... alive. A bit pale, a bit thin... but alive. Dick can't see any of his own skin to see if it was blue or tinted that way, but the Nightwing symbol on his chest kept flickering between its own blue and this 'Realms' green. "But--What about the others? What about you? Why can't you come home?" The last two, he focuses on Wally, because now he can feel a heartbeat beneath his gloves. Wally's alive. He's alive.
His friend just shrugs. "Something about their portals not fit for the living? I'm meant to wait for someone to figure out a permanent portal, but they won't tell me how long that'll take." Wally glares at the... 'Ghosts'? There was a heat to it, but it also seemed like this was a well-worn argument.
"The permanent portal was always an 'if', Wallace West. And that is entirely dependent on if Richard Grayson takes the second option," the clock Ghost--Clockwork?--speaks up. But instead of the adult Dick was expecting, there was an elderly Ghost in their place. Still with the time motif. Was that... more literal than Dick took it?
"Yes, the second option..." The crowned man glares daggers at Clockwork. The temperature dips below comfortable. Dick tries to blink the spaceship and stars out of his sight, withdrawing his arms from Wally to try and warm himself. Tries to remember he's not in space. "The second option is that you return to your body... changed. You'll be able to protect Earth better, stay with your alive family, save the Lost Ones... for a price."
Dick doesn't know if he should ignore the plural in 'Lost Ones'. He doesn't know if he's reading too much into how, in this Realm, apparently only his parents were able to be found. Where's Jason? He doesn't dare hope, but...
"What's the price?"
The man smiles and a ring of blue forms around his waist. It splits in two and travels up and down his body, replacing the cloak and whatever clothes he was actually wearing with a NASA shirt, worn jeans, and red sneakers actually duct taped together. The blue tint to his otherwise tan skin fades completely. His hair turns black. His eyes turn blue.
He was like a taller, slightly slimmer, way hotter version of Bruce.
The man walks through the bubble, but doesn't disturb the grass beneath his feet. "You become the Ghost King's vassal." Dick flinches away and almost hides behind Wally. "Not my idea! But, well... it is either this, or your permanent death."
"What does becoming a vassal do to him?" Wally asks, gently trying to stop Dick from breaking his ribs with how tightly he was hugging himself. Does he even have ribs?
"He gains my powers. Ice, electricity, invisibility, intangibility, flight... He becomes a Halfa. He becomes what I was, in life. Just... needing to make offerings to me, now and then. Something like that, at least. I give him powers, he gives me a chunk of, I don't know, chocolate once a week. Like a warlock."
Wally keeps talking to the man, keeps getting information that he knows he should pay attention to, but something in his chest screams to accept this deal, and he can't focus on anything else.
Nightwing can protect. He can return to life and go back to Blüdhaven, be the Vigilante they need. He can visit Gotham every now and then, help with cases and stop criminals from harming others. He can see his brother. He can see his friends. He can eat Alfred's cookies, and have little get-togethers with Babs and the Team--hell, he can argue with Bruce.
And all he has to do is... give an offering to this guy? The Ghost King? Every once in a while?
"There's no other price?" The King turns his attention to Dick. His eyes had shifted to a blue-green that almost hypnotize him. The green swirls, the blue forms and melts like snowflakes, and he can't look away.
He takes another step forward and Wally steps to the side. There was familiarity between them. Wally deferred to him. Dick can't quite tell why. Though, with how Wally hasn't once looked at Clockwork, maybe it's because he's... grounded? Are all speedsters in trouble with, what, the Ghost of Time? That... actually makes perfect sense.
"I'll be honest, Nightwing: You've impressed me." The weight behind the King's words lifts the ones that've been on his shoulders since he was nine. "You remind me of myself. Maybe, if I wasn't a Halfa... If I had a mentor... I could've been like you.
"Despite Clockwork's insistence over the years that I get back in touch with the living, I've held off. When he eventually suggested that I help create another Halfa, I locked him in his tower for twenty years. I didn't want anyone to go through what I had. But, now... I see that you won't. You can't. Even if you hide this deal--our shared powers... You'll still have people by your side. Strong people. Smart people. You can already handle yourself. And I'd love to see what you can do--who you can save--with my help."
There was maybe two inches between their faces when the King finishes speaking. Dick roves his eyes across the other's face, trying to find the common and familiar ticks that show lies and deceit and manipulation. All he finds is sincerity and genuine care.
Wally plays with his fingers from the corner of his eye, gaze hopeful as he looks between the two of them. Wally, who was alive and breathing and able to leave if he accepts. Eventually. Somehow.
Dick Grayson sends a quiet apology to his parents and hopes they will forgive him for being a little bit selfish.
"I accept."
He flings his eyes open. Above him, domino mask too wobbly to be properly secured anymore, was Robin crying and begging him to wake up. His hands were sloppily placed over his heart. Batman was trying to drag him away, the firm set of his jaw screaming grief.
Nightwing gasps once he registers his lungs burning.
There's a large cacophony of noise, multiple bright suits and people hounding over him, and the distinct artificial taste of slightly-too-much oxygen that the ship with the Parademons had. That he flew out of and died. He was still too cold.
Someone moves their arm beneath his knees and shoulder and Dick passes out.
(Dick 'Nightwing' Grayson dies in space. Ghost King Danny Phantom likes this too-human Hero. They split their souls in half, take one piece of the others, and all they know is that Phantom is now Nightwing's Patron Deity. Danny uses ice, for electricity killed him. Dick uses electricity, for ice killed him. They are opposites, and yet so incredibly similar. Clockwork was looking forward to when Danny starts putting off his paperwork to hang out with his new 'friend'.)
#i dont think ive seen something like this yet but its been stuck in my mind for like ten months#also i dont see enough death defying so this was like heavily implying that#ive imagined dick just. not telling anyone what happened. even when his powers get a little out of control. he just. like. makes a bowl#of cereal and leaving it on the counter and just saying 'for the. uh. ghost king? lil help?' and thats how danny first shows up again#eventually dick really does wonder bout the lazarus and gets to ra's. sees that one new assassin. ghost sense goes off. hes never had THAT#happen before. confusion. the assassin HESITATES to attack him. oh. oh fuck. jay? oh fuck the dude flinched. GET RA'S OUT HERE NOW DAMNIT#WHATVE YOU DONE TO JAY??? I DONT WANNA HEAR IT. *pulls a tim and explodes something*. JASON WE'RE GOING. just full on grabs the guy and#gets back on the plane. theyre going to blud#at some point in time constantine meets nightwing. takes one look at him. turns around. fucks RIGHT off. tries to never be near him again#1 thats a HALFA hes gonna try and get john in the realms bc o all the soul contracts. 2 hes DRENCHED in 'do not touch belongs to ghost king#and he does NOT FUCK with the ghost king. 3 is that? THE GHOST KING'S RING ON HIS FINGER???#turns out danny gave him that after a particularly good offering that they dont realize counted as courtship. oopsies#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc au#dick grayson#danny fenton#nightwing#death defying ship#halfa dick grayson#dc x dp#dc x dp prompt#dc x dp crossover#vwoopis posts
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
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tracked down this clip just because of this post! have jokes from skizz and scar
#i spent way longer than id like to admit doing these captions. autocaptions was completely busted so i did em manually#please let me know if i missed / should change anything!#i am a person who needs captions trying to make captions for others lmfao. are the colors ok? too subtle? i wanted them legible still but#anyways sdkjhg here have this#txtly described#(bc i made the captions)#though i will probably also add a video descrip later just. not rn sorry guys#also blease if you can find the post LINK ME i have been searching the tag for ages#hermitcraft#skizzleman#goodtimeswithscar#grian#edit: thank you to the person who linked the post!! :D#second edit: yall ive been trying to swap the video out for the corrected one and it wont swap help
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i've been playing around with drawing some post-credits earth c dirkjake in a homestuck-adjacent style recently and i'm having a lot of fun with it. here are some dirk wips :)
#dirk strider#homestuck#my art#beloved pointy creature#ive got like 9 fake panel wips on a file so far haha#attempting to create the happy post-credits dirkjake i desperately want to see#ive been trying to draw them canon-ish looking but also visibly a bit older#still messing around with the style here but im pretty happy with it so far :)
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