#and ive been playing with that until now bc im not that much of a masochist
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corvidae
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#blood/#yuuji#im not tagging this as spoilers idc sue me . iykyk but i dont think it's obvious enough at all 2 warrant the tag#idrk what this is sorry ive been having a hard time drawing n feeling inspired lately :'>>> so it goes#i find i tend to default to drawing birds when that happens ???#did it with gojo did it with shiro and now it's yuuji's turn ig#sometimes it's helpful to just . mess around with a whole bunch of brushes until something looks ok#and birds and feathers lean soooo well 2 playing around w brushes theyre very forgiving#flowers also kind of so i threw in some camellias bc i figured why not add More Red#i think they mean something that's probably relevant but i was more looking fr the shape of the petals#th rounded tops blend rly seamlessly with the way i rendered th feathers so i am like!!!! nice#just checked also apparently red camellias just mean love and devotion lmao should have guessed#'perishing with grace' also hm hm hm that's kind of wild with th crows#anyway i didn't put too much thought in2 this one so i won't talk fr ages about the symbolism it's all pretty much right there#anyway ty fr being patient with me im sorry draws have been slow :<#ill come out of it ill bounce back!
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don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au
this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--
his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!
So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.
Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.
Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.
And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.
Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.
Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.
He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?
Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.
Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.
They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.
Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.
He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.
His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.
Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.
It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.
He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.
Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.
He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.
He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.
Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.
It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.
It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.
"I've become my grandfather."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc prompt#ive been playing cult of the lamb recently and you can tell#anyways i thought this was funny to think about. its specifically danyal al ghul bc that makes it even funnier#tfw you accidentally become a cult leader. rip to you danny you have a cult following#not at ALL an accurate depiction of a cult but i still think its funny. innaccurate cult depictions. ur in too deep to change it now danno#sam and tucker: hey dude... this is a cult | danny still learning how to People: what. no. these are all my friends and refugees.#his inner circle are all Insane about him they just show it in different ways. Sirius is as equally zealous as the rest they just don't#show it as much. which has mistakenly convinced danyal that they are the more logical one. no danny. they would kill for you#danny: i am being hospitable | sam: you created a cult | danny: i am being hosPITABLE#i dont like ghost king aus but i love danny being in positions of power it just has to feel earned. 'accidental kingdom acquisition' is my#favorite trope it just has to be done correctly. 🫵 build that bitch up with your bare hands and not realize until its too late you fool#'becoming a world power by accident and im in too deep to back out now'#danyal. a raised assassin (has no threshold for normal behavior): *sees utter devotion towards him* yeah this is fine and normal.#danyal: yk i dont see this ending horribly. *goes and collects more followers* yeah this is totally cool. welcome to the constellation#danyal: *saves a few people and houses them in his lair* (everyone liked that [to a worrying degree actually])#his inner circle: my moon! | danny: my stars :]#danny: ive become my grandfather. | danny: ... | danny: idk how to feel about that honestly.#those poor cultists that kidnapped antares were subjected to a 3hr tangent about 'the radiance of the Moon and his resplendent generosity'#before danyal found him and got him home. who were the cultists summoning? who knows! but they got Objectively the Worst out of the#constellation to summon by accident. actually they're all bad there's no picking who. they're all various amounts of Unhinged Danny just#Never Realizes It because he is also Unhinged and thinks some of this shit is normal.#like yeah thats totally normal behavior he has no questions whatsoever. this seems like Typical People Stuff.
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viktor prev 🤖
#i forgot 2 flip the canvas back but his mole is on the correct side i prommy .. first time ive ever kept it accurate lol#im chipping away at ths sooo slowly …#unimaginable number of drafts and im just opting 4 the most simplistic one instead#umm fav viktor moments . his im from the undercity remark & slapping jayces hand away. lets gooooooooo#or that scene of him mel and jayce at the table where hes fiddling w jinxs bomb i like tht whole exchange#when he transforms into the machine herald#when he transforms in2 the machine herald (2)#ans when he transforms into the machine herald😁 THE FACE SPLIT IS JUST SOOO FRWAKING COOL#wht else . guys can i be honest can i be brave and honest w u all. hated the sky plot . hated#the scene of him crying over her i was like scratching my neck n pulling at my collar like u guys seein this … 🧍#the story never developed sky enough to make her death impactful#she only exists in the context of viktor and how she can further his story or personify his emotions ykwim . boringg#i think the timeline is such a big issue 4 arcane writing in general bc#they try to pass off their quasifriendship as something genuine bc theyre partners or have known each other for years#supposedly but they dont show it let alone say it . like i cant tell u the amt of times i saw something after watching that was like#oh this timeskip was a year or seven years or idk and aside from the obvious timeskip we see w charas aging up in s1#or the montage once cait takes power its just not . discussed . rmbr after the arcane anomaly ambessa was like theyve been missing for 6#months or something and if you didnt hear that one throwaway comment u would just be like wht is going on#all that to say they want you to believe they have a strong foundation 2 make her death and later reunion meaningful but they dont give you#anything to actually Feel it#so . MY TWO CENTS !!!!!!!!!!!ok#sorry im blowing up the tags in ths random post that never asked for this 💔#lg doodles#arcane#viktor#well ok bc im going on and on i will say . i thought singed was pretty interesting in the show but never rly cared for him#until i played him in aram n im like oh so ths guy is awesome actually#HAHHAAH#dude and b4 they got rid of the hectech chests i pulled his arcane skin . bsooo much fun#i also played jinx for the first time and now i understand why ppl like her gameplay so much . soo smooth w it like she feels soo polished
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……………..who was gonna tell me the BEN drowned arg was gonna make me weirdly emotional huh
#yes i have not watched it until now#fake fan…. i know…….💔#BEN has been my fav for literally my whole life! i say with a suspiciously unwatched shaped arg behind me#but seriously damn😭#my little BEN loving heart and inner child loved the whole thing#ive been meaning to watch it forever but#im horrible at remembering to watch stuff LOL#and i’ve been having so much trouble with trying to design BEN in my au i thought oh this should help#…………it did but now i’m emotional#still gonna watch an analysis video as well bc… jadusable did not make anything incredibly clear and i need more context for AU writing#especially about….. yk. BEN himself. bc the videos were largely just following sarah#which is nice! love sarah i rooted for her the whole time and i almost cried at the end#but…. she aint the one getting an AU design here🤫#BUT!!! 10/10#fun fact: i begged my parents to buy me majora’s mask on my 3ds as a kid bc i loved BEN so much#but i could never even get past the deku link parts LOL#im notoriously awful at zelda games…… ironic i know.#tried majora and botw and twilight princess#sucked actual ass at all three it was unfortunate#but i haven’t played one since i was a kid#i would play it again if i still had my 3ds :(#anyways i just needed to babble#expect more BEN soon…… very soon………………..#i say as if i will ever NOT post about him HAHAHA#my shaylaaaa#obligatory heart eyes heart eyes#rambles#ben drowned arg
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Survived today fine. Just chilling now.
Ordered a new bridge for my violin. Current one is kinda bent (from age, I think) and I think it's affecting my sound quality. It's supposed to come in on Saturday, along with some mutes (both for performing and also for practicing. First for making it quiet while playing a song and second to make it quieter in general so you're less disruptive while practicing. I think.) and also some sand paper. Because I'm probably gonna have to sand the legs of the bridge some to adjust it to my violin's shape.
I've never replaced a bridge before. I've put one back *on* after at least one time of accidentally knocking it out one way or another. Kinda really inconvenient. Gotta loosen all the strings, position it, then re-tune the entire thing. So that part is inconvenient, but familiar. But the sanding it into shape....... well, I might look up an instructional video or something. Just in case. It seems like it'd be pretty intuitive, but better to be safe than sorry.
#speculation nation#yknow now that i think about it it probably is pretty much time#i dont know what's standard for violin maintenance but i think it's the same bridge ive had since i got this violin in 8th grade#which was. back in 2010. 15 years ago....#the violin overall is in perfectly fine shape. though i wonder if i should change the other strings at some point.#i changed the G because i had to. because it broke. the others are currently fine but hmmm#idk i'll pay attention to if they start sounding weird. the G was sounding weird before it snapped back then.#im also Pretty sure im suppsed to get the bow's hairs redone at some point... but it's still fine?? i think.#ive never been the type to press hard enough to snap hairs very often. though maybe thats not a good thing#idk im just. thinking#i really want to Stay in the habit of playing even after this semester ends.#it's felt like reconnecting with an old piece of my core identity. i was an active violinist from ages 11 through 19#and even in the time since then ive still Called myself a violinist. bc that kind of thing never leaves you.#my left arm is Still more flexible than my right one. can bend further up behind my back and everything.#but it's also... not the same as Actively playing. it feels right and wrong at the same time.#it feels *right* but it doesnt feel as natural as it used to. im too out of practice. fumbling fingers trying so hard.#trying to not get frustrated with myself when the person in front of me plays so beautifully without any hesitation.#im sleep deprived. and incredibly out of practice. but im taking measures to improve things.#the bridge will help i think. i kept getting thrown off by the sound today. on lower strings it almost sounded like smth was rattling.#and when i install the new bridge on saturday i will practice. until i at least know what im supposed to be playing.#i wont embarrass myself again. i will *not* be so lost next time. my pride as a violinist demands it.#i may be severely out of practice but i was once the 4th best violinist of my high school. i can get that good again.
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every time it's the end of the year i feel like i'm going insane like the entire year just culminates into me just mcfreaking losing it on new years eve
#first of all i am so tired. my cat is on this horrible schedule where she wakes up at like 11pm and so i end up staying up to play with#her until like 2am bc im like she slept all day she needs to play which is fine but i get up at 7 every morning and so ive been doing this#for like 2 weeks straight and im so tired. so last night at like 1am i was just playing with her just sobbing bc im so tired#but i feel so guilty just going to sleep when she wants to play so im like im not just going to not play so im sitting my bed#throwing her stupid little yarn for her just crying and she's like :) watching me throw it back and forth im like ok.#but that's whatever bc idc i'll do anything for her#then since saturday there has been this Smell in my hallway and i have looked everywhere for it and i dont even know what it is#but it's like a sour kind of just really irritating smell and it's not strong but it just lingers#and ive searched EVERYWHERE. and nothing is wrong so now i'm thinking maybe#something died on the roof in my bathroom vent fan thing bc i leave my bathroom window open all the time but#last night it was almost completely closed bc it was cold last night and i was like ok yeah it's stronger in here now#so i just taped a trash bag over it to see if it goes away and if that's it then i have to deal with that#also im getting my period so i know that's why im upset at all#then i have a lost package that ive been waiting for since a week before christmas and i was like hey can you guys like help me find my#package like it's not the company's fault but i wanted to know if they could like idk contact the shipper or something#and theyre like oh it's just tracking error :) it's on it's way#like ok. it's in a city an hour away from me and it's been in limbo between ups and usps since the 19th so no it's actually not coming at#all i think but they keep blowing me off#then i have to go to the store right now and i know it's going to be so crowded and anyway ok im done dumping and complaining#i just feel like im drowning rn but im going drink so much champagne tonight and forget it all
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Oh, did I ever mention I wanted to start a band? I think I did. Probably. Ages ago. Anyway! We finally did it! We've got a place to practice (it's a place literally for [alternative] youth they are happy to have Us which means no rent and they even have equipment we can borrow it's great) and we finally met up and. It was so. much. fun.
Now we hadn't really talked about shit beforehand because idk it's super easy to get side-tracked but we managed to actually talk very little and cover one and a half songs in like. two hours. i mean it's not a proper cover but we do sound genuinely good together. ig it helps that all of us play instruments already and have played with others before so we know what that's like and we have a very solid understanding of music theory but. still. the only one who actually knows her instrument in the band is our drummer. BUT we STILL sounded actually good. it's so cool. it's SO much fun. my fingers are going to kill me
#a biscuit's rambles#cant be much longer til ive got callouses tho#im just so hyped#IT WAS SO! MUCH! FUN!#we managed to get through the entirety of seven nation army btw#its not perfect yet but it does sound good#mostly vocals are still a bit off but to be fair my friend was pretty firm that she hated singing#until. band practice when she relented to try bc she doesnt rly have an instrument for this#now shes gonna be our singer :D its gonna be so great#idgaf about performing i just want to practice again immediately this is what instruments are for its been too long since ive played with o#others
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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i think a lot of people dont like matthews cause of the incident with the security guard
i think that's just mostly internet people, but sure
#easks#like if we wanna talk abt why the typical sports fan doesnt like am34 i dont think that has much to do w it#if u wanna talk abt random pockets of internet fans who keep their list of whos been problematic then yeah thats part of why im sure#ive seen it used as a gotcha from sports fans who try to argue stats at first so like... its kept as a bg fact until#ur losing the argument n need a reason to take the moral highground fhkdjdj but sureeee#not that i dont get why it makes ppl uncomfortable.. if i stanned the whole time n went through it real time id prob feel differently than#i personally do now but#im not keeping a tally of these mens crimes#they are lil dolls to play w in my mind thanks v much#be real though bc no one thinks hes overrated for that lol. its more to do w sports fans hating other ppl
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vent
#haha now im fucking sobbing im my bathroom bc i was texting one of my only 2 friends (not including my ex) about how nervous i am#then i started in about how i actually dont really want to go out & meet people & go on dates but at the same time#im so extremely tired of being lonely/alone & having absolutely no one to consistently hang out with & im so starved for love & gentleness#and tbqh all i want rn is someone to hold me. i want someone to actively want me/pursue me. i want someone to choose me & care about me#it really fucking hurts & sucks being on everyones backburner. im such a loving person. i have such a big heart & so much love to give#ive always been like that. ive always loved people with my whole being. always been happy & happy to make others happy#ive always prioritized peoples happiness & comfort & well-being FAR above my own#ive always heard the universe gives back what it receives from you......so whens it my turn to be wanted fully & loved in an unwavering way#my love has always been give give give...... i just want to receive the affection. the devotion. the loving tasks. for once. please.....#im not even looking for my forever or for my life partner or w/e. i just want someone who's excited to see me & wants to be in my presence#someone who; even if only for 1 day or 1 week or even 1 month; chooses me. chooses to stay.#i think......im tired. im gonna go play fallout nv until i pass out from exhaustion. im tired#emma vents#vent tag#sad boi hours#sad bitch hours#2023 tag
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so ive accidentally stayed up WAY TOO FUCKIN LATE w my ethiopian KING - i went to take pics for this class & baked & we ran into each other on the stairwell & then we went to his place to drop his bags & for ciggys (where we grabbed LI & GOT HIM TO SMOKE TOO before he went upstairs again) & the 2 of us sent on a walk so i could take pics for this one clase & boy howdy did i learn SO much, also btw ethiopia is currently, still, in a civil war
#stream#hes absolutely fascinating like girl we both chat SO much & hes also on topic bc i derail SO fucking much & then we’ll go on tangent then#subtangetn then he’ll get us back to what we were talking abt but i literally Cannot Do That im juts like oh um… what we were taling abt#anyway#yea its 3am & i need to be up at 10am#ALSO i had tea w the chinese flatmates bc i saw arthur & i got to learn so much & also yen je explained different parts of chinese grammar#etc & it turns out that he is INTERESTED IN LEARNIGN SPANISH SO WERK IM GOING TO HELP & ALSO I MET THE OTHER FLATMATE TODAY TOO#girl ive been playing the sims w myself i’ll be talking to someone then do the little like person+ (green bar) like frendshop increased#persuasion increase d#so albert(o) is from mexico city bc i also was like is ur name albert ? sick um yea is it like actually alberto just curious xx so hes#alberto now#& arthur told me his real mame but i forgot bc literally im still running on the 4hrs sleep i got last night like yall i was like wow i#pigged out last night haha - literally bc i ate an entire bag of baby carrots - so i thought im not hungry ? no girl ur colon just full so i#just havent eaten bc then i was going to after my irst class today but i saw the chinese & harassed them until it was like 15mins until i#had to haul ass to get to the japanese class & girl … i know i was such a bitch i was losing my mind it was 2hrs & she was like ‘we will#only use an hour !’ BUT NO WE USED THE WHOLE HOUR I NEED THESE WEEABOO AS MFS TO SLOW DOWN#i FULLY dont know what im doing & these bitches r soeaking sentences & also 1 guy was arguing w the professor like girl .. shes literally#japanese ur going to have to take this L like ur british thru & thru baby#so anyway#im going to go make french fries in the baking sheet that might give me cancer#ive also never used a baking sheet to make french fries im sry i just dont get to eat these in the states bc i love hating myself ?#ive been eating so much mayo i love peri peri omg … kewpie mayo …… im squatting
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headache. death and destruction on planet earth
#pain suffering etc#not as bad as last night tho but ughhh#chronic pain tw#this has been a shitpost#i need food probably but cant move bc kitty is finally cuddly :')#she hates me ever since we got the second kitty so this is a big deal#ive got cuddles like once in the past three months from pumpkin#makes me so sad bc i love her so much thats why i got posy to be her friend#and theyre both my cats but only posy is nice to me and cuddles me usually#and pumpkin is sooo sad and upset with me all the time bc of posy#but shes getting better and they play now and stuf pumpkin even groomed her the other day but shes still mad at me#and this morning she attacked me and i had to spritz her so im surprised she forgave me this much#but i trapped her in my room with me and played purring sounds until she settled down <3#but now i cant move and i need food and advil lol#but not enough to disturb kitty
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and btw. love is real.
#wind howls#ive been a lot less active this past week because ive been playing tears of the kingdom until either my head hurts or its 6 am#its 4:30 something rn. im stopping because my head hurts LOL#this isnt the point of this post. the point is i love my boyfriend dearly.#he is asleep rn bc he restarted work this week so now he has to sleep sooo early and i cry forever at that BUT its okay. itd okay#because i love him so so much. any words we exchange are precious to me and that is good#man. my head hurts. goodnight !
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hi everyone i love you all! how is everyone! please tell me how you are! sorry for the malevolent-only posting the last few weeks, i been going through it and these silly guys are the only ones getting me through it all i think
#i sustained a repetitive-use injury to my left wrist that holds up my heavy bass trombone so I can't play properly rn <3#im taking it real hard i didn't realize how much of a creative outlet this instrument really is for me until i'm NOT allowed to play it#physio is not helping a lot because i keep trying to play through it... i have important auditions coming up in 3wks for grad school#but i have to take the time off and get better now for future me </3#love you all#stretch and take care of your body#do yoga and calisthenics to strengthen yourself!#ive been thinking i might have hEDS because of all of this bc my sister is going thru testing for it rn and likely has it#and it would make sense for all my chronic musculoskeletal issues#mymy speaks
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Hello, I hope you are well.
Could you possibly write a fic where Cynthia has been instantly busy by faraway research partners summoning her for her professional opinion, fans wanting a picture or to battle, and always interrupting her and their readers day or hangouts whenever they go out? But eventually, Cynthia figures something out to make it up to the reader?
:)
Thank you!
Hello anon, I can most certainly get that done for you when I have the time! Ms. Cynthia is always welcome in my inbox.
I don't know when I'll get into it? Idk I'm almost finished with the scarvio dlc girls and can have that up for valentines, so I'll get to work on it sometime after valentines.
#not writing#request stuff#gonna assume its fem reader anon unless you state otherwise just fyi#im doing fine btw#kinda rattled but not in like a genuine way#ive been playing too much persona and got to a certain part in the seventh palace#not like im going to stop until im done tho#also got the shit scared out of me bc fireworks suddenly went off and i thought it was gun shots#yeah super bowl chiefs won sports ball#the only reason i cared about sports is when it got me the day off in school but that isnt relevant to me anymore#schools would normally let kids off if the local team won the super bowl for the parade#(bc a lot of kids would just be pulled out anyway and thats bad for attendance and all)#glad im not in school now tho bc the parade is on ash wednesday#and i went to a catholic high school where we would have had to go anyways bc its holy day of obligation or whatever#jeez i didnt mean to write this much sorry#but im listening to the super paper mario ost so everything is all good#anyways#im... so close to being done with the headcannons#its been 5000 years#hopefully i'll get this done in a more timely manner#oh my god its been like two months since i posted what i swear it was decemeber last week#my birthday is soon too i dont like that#i already have backpain plz
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