#and its not like i could go with friends cuz.
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I have a confession. I do not care for the soc boys. I'm sure they have very interesting character traits and lore the actors and fandom have come up with and that is so fun and great and I know none of it and I am perfectly content with that. Shout out to all my mutuals who love the soc boys I hope you are having fun with your Ken dolls but I will not be joining you. keep slaying.
#not saying i hate them i just cant get my brain to like them the same way i do all the greasers and the soc girls#excluding bev for some reason melody ily bev ily but i dont latch onto her the same way i do cherry and marcia 😔😔😔😔#shout out to all my soc boy mutuals i hope you are having so much fun#the closest i will ever get to caring for the soc boys is randy#man was an asshole tried to kill a kid saw his best friend die went fuck all of this dumped his girlfriend left town and became a hippie#shit start great ending good job randy 👍#this is also why i havent gotten into parry#i love the gays i promise but i did not latch onto paul the way the rest of the fandom did 😔😔#i totally get it i see where yallre coming from i understand#its my ship-in-law ill support parry truthers 4ever#but im a dar-bit truther for life#yes i am also a mar-bit truther#and an aroace darry truther#i win no matter what#but anyways#i am not part of the community i am an ally ✊️✊️✊️#its also fun cuz since i know jack shit i never get annoyed at mischaracterization because i dont know what the correct characterization is#i can see anything about them and go 'yeah sure'#and it could be so out of character#and ill never know#i stay winning#anyways love yall 🫶#although i do think a reason i havent latched onto bev is because i never see anyone talking about her#if you love bev please tell me about her i want to know everything#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#two-bit talks
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I know my parents are busy and everything but I wish they'd value the plans we make to spend time together a little more
#i was supposed to be going to the record shop with my stepdad tomorrow#and we've been meaning to go since summer#and we've had this planned for weeks#and last week he was making plans with my aunt for Saturday and i reminded him were going to the record shop#and he told me he knew#and hes gonna go to the record shop with me first and then go to my aunts#but now i might not even be going ?#i just wish they wanted to spend time with me as much as i want to spend time with them#im excited about the cds HELL YEAH but i was really excited about spending time with my stepdad#and its not like i could go with friends cuz.#i mean i have One irl friend that i ever hang out with#its whatever though#January 2025 📌
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Cooking and baking
A small pet peeve of mine with cooking and baking is when recipes say the container rather than the amount
Like, instead of saying "500ml of cream" you say "a pot of cream". Or "a whole can of corn". Like okay which kind of can??? What amount???? Corn comes in more than one size you can't just tell me a can. PLEASE i am begging you tell me the WEIGHT
This is especially a problem with recipes from different countries, for example America. Because your stick of butter is different to our butter. STOP SAYING STICK OF BUTTER TELL ME THE QUANTITY IN GRAMS PLEASE I HAVE A FAMILY
that being said I feel like I see this crop up in like american recipes in particular. Idk if I've ever seen a recipe in one of our cookbooks that does this....
anyway please just tell me the gosh darn weight I am dying here I have a family I JUST NEED TO KNOW THE WEIGHT
#ramble post#randy rambles#recipes#cooking#baking#'a stick of butter' is the worst for repeat offender i see that crap everywhere in american recipes#JUST SAY THE AMOUNT#like even if a recipe here uses 250g of butter (our butter is in 250g idk what size american butter is) IT SAYS USE 250G OF BUTTER#actually tbf i think butter size is not something thats like fully conventional cuz i just googled lurpack and it says that one is 200g#fun fact our butter isnt a long weird stick like americans. why is your butter like that that looks awful to get on a knife to spread#ours is still rectangular its just like more square#ALSO LIKE IDM CUPS. I have measuring cups that have cups AND ml. I WOULD GLADLY TAKE MEASURING IN CUPS OVER 'STICK OF BUTTER' 'CAN OF CORN'#also for the record what spurred this on is i asked someone for their recipe of something and half the stuff is quantified in this way.#'1 box jiffy cornbread mix' what the frick is that please i have a family#like no hate to them lemme be clear but also WHY ARE AMERICAN RECIPES LIKE THIS IM CRYING#i could be wrong that its just american recipes but i SWEAR ive never seen this in any of our british cookbooks but everytime i try and loo#up an american recipe online or ask an american friend for a recipe they give me quantities like this and im over here quietly dying as i#try and decipher what the frick they just told me to use. what is going on why are recipes there like this#(also idk if they do it for cream i just wanted to give an example that wasnt just can of corn or can of soup)#(SOUP AND CORN COME IN MULTIPLE CAN SIZES YOURE HELPING NOBODY SAYING JUST 'A CAN')
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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i think i need help
#not in a serious way just a little push#a little nudge#a small hug#a helping hand while i study#not like when you go to a private class those rarely turned productive as i have a problem with long term replication#just for me to study and be able to ask and check w someone reliable just the little things#(this would erase the sense of nothing mattering and feeling like i am stuck i think)#bc i feel defeat before i even begin and then its very hard to do anything cuz they feel like a waste of time#and then it seeps into stuff i should do (like showering and brushing my teeth etc)#0 notes to me#anyways nothing serious i just hope that i can admit to myself at least in some superficial way that i am having a hard time doing it on my#own without alarming my parents or sister or friends and that it could develop in at least lesser sense of dread once i shut all the screen
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I miss the days where existing online was a fun thing for ppl with social anxiety to make friends on instead of like Life 2.0 ya know
#sucktacular sucks#this is literally about nothing im just like#so tired. im tired all the time. being online was my lil fun escape place#but now itslike#DID YOU KNOW HORRIBLE THING HAPPENED AND IF YOU ARENT PAYING ATTENTION#YOURE AWFUL AND ALSO THIS OTHER STUFF DONT DO IT BUT YOU#HAVE TO DO THIS THING OR ILL SEND YOU DEATH THREATS#or YOU DID XYZ OR LIKE XYZ THAY MEANS YOURE EVIL AND AWFUL#and its like#i know this stuff existed still back then but also#i just miss making movie maker slide shows#and having funny fake cyber sex in gaia online towns with my friends that i dont#know anything about and will never meet#like i could probably still exist in that closed off little world if i tried harder#but like maaaaann its just rough#i log in and get bombarded with information#i have no money i dont go outside and i want to be left alone except for my friends#i dont want to be anyone and i dont want to do anything#and Yet#my anxiety is on high alert every hour of everyday#anyone else wanna just exist and enjoy stuff or be a hater but it not be A Big Thing#again literally about nothing just like#i have an anxiety disorder and i know existing is already hard#but man online gonna make it hard now too huh#ewie#anyway i do miss my death note mutuals but i cant even socialize with my besties these days#cuz im too anxious and one little trip up and im gonna explode and die frankly#working on it#HOW THE HELL DID WE WIND UP LIKE THIS#AND WHY WERENT WE ABLE... TO SEE THE SIGNS THAT WE MISSED. AND TRY AND TURN THE TABLES
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Applying to an apartment with little income and terrible credit score, in hopes that they'll be desperate enough to take me
#im not even getting my hopes up for this one folks#but this same company rook me when i had no rental history so maybe?#unlikely for the aforementioned piss poor income and credit score#im just praying they remember me feom when i used to rent from them and liked me enough then to take me again#the bathroom is not in the apartment btw#that's the wildest thing. like its a basic studio with a kitchen closet and main area#but you have to go across the hall. to the private bathroom#im hoping they realize that thats wild and give me the apartment#i neeeeed to leave my parents house. and i really miss that city the apartment is in#i wish there was a little essay section where i could tell the landlord how much i like the city#and that ill get a better job once i live there and my parents are going to pay my first month and security deposit#that would be nice#i applied knowing that i won't get it but also knowing that i cant get it if i dont try#mostly i just miss that city#there was a really nice coffee shop within walking distance of my apartment#(the apartment i applied to is next door to the building i used to live in so same area which is great)#but i didnt have wifi so i would go there a lot to do work. it was so cozy in the winter especially#and i went on a lot of walks. so i wiuld swing by there and grab a drink to sip on my walk#and it was literally within sight of a great lake. a literal great lakw of Michigan lol#i loved walking along the lake on a nice day. or a windy day and just watch the waves crash#and my favorite band is feom that city so i got to see so many of their performances. and theyre a small band so the most i ever paid#was $50 and that was for the vip package. i saw them for $10 once. and free once. and $50 for the vip#its a big art and music city and i love it so much. i miss it so fucking much and i regret leaving#but at least it made me realize that no other city is for me. that city is my home#oh and it was literally right next to a bug beautiful library that i loved to wander. i still have my library card from there#mostly used it to print stuff and you have to pay at the box next to the printer. and one time i forgot to pay. i still feel bad about that#but i dont want to reminisce too much cuz i know i wont get it#im trying to pay off my credit cards to bring up my credit score but its slow going#its much nearer my gf and all my friends so i would love to live near them. rn im hours away from about everyone i love#i ran out of tags. maybe pray for me if you pray? or just hope for me. i dont want to let myself want this but its there
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dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....
#they made them address the thank you note to me and everything ajskfjfkfb. i didnt know they were cheating at the time but wow...#every time i break out my sticker collection and see them im reminded of it. but i cant throw out the stickers theyre deltarune ones 😭#like they were a rly cool artist.... just unfortunate that happened 💀#the drama was insane. my ex only wanted to sleep with them but they (other person) wanted them to break up with me so they could date#but my ex dumped them rly harshly for suggesting that i guess 'romantic' cheating was a step too far even for them lmaooo#i heard abt their breakup secondhand and god could they be cruel sometimes. they made fun of the sex theyd had w them#to all their mutual friends n everything i actually felt so bad for the other person when i found out. at least our breakup wasnt that bad#i only finally got that cruel side of them directed towards me like a year after when they wanted us to stop being friends#but yeah. its also funny in a way bc my ex only suggested i had adhd bc the other person did too + struggled a lot with rsd#which i guess they found out when they broke up with them. and then looked at that and thought huh my gf is kind of similar...#and this was like. 2 years before i even considered i had adhd myself and sought diagnosis ahdkfidjcjdjfjfjfkdbfnf#this made me go look the other persons art page up on instagram + then i recognised some of their friends/flatmates art pages and i found#their (my exs that is) grad year film which is still being shown at animation festivals... good for them good for them#i dont think they have an art page themselves tho cuz they were always v shy and weird abt sharing art on social media#like everyone else except them is tagged on things... shame i wouldve liked to see what they were making now. even if we're not friends#also one of their old roommates made some REALLY similar squid game fanart to mine like a month after i posted it huh..#not mad abt it or anything i think its cool i just didnt realise they showed my art to their friends. thats cute#ah this was years ago anyway. getting my head out of the rabbit hole#im gonna go play some elden ring and then maybe do smth fun in my sketchbook we shall seeee#.diaries
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Being autistic with extreme hyperfixations is so funny bc i'll be like "Yea I'm p sure I'm mulitfandom/mulitshipper" and then I only focus on one hyperfix for months/year on end, go silent until I pick up something else and never speak about that hyperfix again. Or get uncomfortable of another ship involving one of the characters of the ship i'm extremely attached too. And then I realize I am neither of those, but in fact a secret third thing.
#For clarifcation: Im def not the type of person to hate on every ship that isnt my own nor am I the type of person to attack others or be-#those “I don't ship but its cute” NO!!!!#I'm just like. Its kinda like yumeshippers and non sharing#I respect it But im gonna stick to my own thing personally unless somehow I get attached (Ship and Fixation wise)#Open minded But its just REAALLLYY Hard to get me to be interested in another fixation bc i'm so hyperfocused#Honestly its only friends that really get me interested in stuff easier cuz I trust them oh so much and I love those guys. Even if Im not-#I Still have fun and make sure to engage with them bc Yay I love having fun when i'm able too engage#Idk if anyone else has this same outlook. Esp when you have autism but its just a big personal-#trait of mine when it comes to community spaces#I also try not to interact with the fandom as much. And just do my own thing. But I look to it for news and info and other cute stuff#jabbering#Or maybe im just annoying who knows#Idk I'm seeing one BS ship thats weirdly making me go eeeuugh no thanks but it could be bc of how one artists draws it im not sure its-#Complicated i'm an odd person I suppose
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OH MY GOD I REALLY AM GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER !!!!
#i cant even complain cuz i sound too fucking pathetic man#i just want to befriend other single people lke ever so i have someone to hang out with#not even like i need an SO i just want a friend in the same boat as me? idk how to word this#im never invited to stuff because everyone i know hangs out with their partner first snd foremost which is FAIR but#i always have to go out of my way to invite people to things and it has to be something (3) or more people actually want to do#and ofc when people cancel im the only one who really loses anything and ends up alone yknow with that social energy prepped to go and it#cant go anywhere so it just hurts my chest#i just really am missing the time when i could just msg someone or they would msg me to comd do stuff and it was just me and someone else#having a good time together now im always the odd one out of a group#its a shitty feeling!!! and idk maybe something is wrong with me but idk man... i dont know#thx for reading ig
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i look for irl friends everywhere but its always. my fucking coworkers. like inevitably the place im gonna find my best friends isnt gonna be through school or hobbies its the other ppl who are also working alongside me for just above minimum wage.
#idk if its the minimum wage thing or the job field im in. maybe something about a kitchen job just attracts the coolest ppl ever#either way kind of hate that development of my social life is always dependent on like. having to work for money#but it kinda selects for ppl i can get along w ig. like dawg i just cannot be friends w rich ppl#never could relate to like. the stereotype of highschool rich bullies who make fun of u for being weird an poor cuz like#most ppl at my highschool were also pretty poor but. kind of feel like im encountering that in my adult life#like either theyre stuck up an dont wanna interact w me at all#or im like. trying to connect w someone who thinks its normal that both their parents own a tesla#having friends who are like. poor or who were also in foster care is kind of more important to me#than having other friends who are queer i realized#like. i just have more in common w someone raised by their grandparents who isnt that familiar w queer culture#than i do w someone immersed in the culture whos parents make 100k#but i mean now i sorta have both im no longer the only queer in the kitchen#my boss is like the most badass dykiest dyke ive ever seen#i mean im gonna keep trying to find non-worker friends though. my boss told me i should go to a gay bar skfhjgsdj
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however setpmeber has felt too slow to me why isnt it october yet.
#i actually cannot believe im saying this but lowkey i wish the sem was over and i could go home#NOT because i want to. but because a) i miss my bed & bath and b) i wouldnt have to be on the constant lookout for her all the time#and also c) i know its askign for too much but im hoping for spring semester to just change things up again pleaseeee. last spring was so#good to me i just want another good spring sem pleaseeee#but i know deep down i will probs never have as good of a spring sem as last year#however i will say this fall sem is infinitely better i think than the last one#last fall sem was so awful. like compared to high school it was way way better but in general not great#i think just cuz this sem i have a more set group of friends and ive been just doing shit left and right and STILL somehow on top of my wor#like its a good start in a way!!! i dont think teh 'on top of my shit' will last but i feel good about things generally#obviously not about my breakup but even then like all things considered other than that its been a really good start#like ive just been more willing to not be cooped up in my dorm all teh time and i want to do things#and i think its nice that i actually have 5 roomies cuz last year it was doubles#and my roomie was never around so maybe the 5 roomies has actually also helped#even though not having an active roomie last year didnt bother me i guess ive realized how quiet things were last fall
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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I hate when you're very sure you're over something, but then you're awake at 4am and clearly Not Over it yet :/
#something something thinking about how my childhood ex-best friend is the reason i think everyone is gonna leave me eventuality lol#and i havent thought about them in YEARS#but the past 8 months it's been bad again#like. it could justify going back to therapy bad#and its gotten better. at least i dont hate my birthday anymore like i did though all of high school#and like. okay it basically stems from how i was the only one who put in effort into maintaining our friendship after#we went to different high school#and they would hang out with the other memeber of our friend trio but NEVER would ask me#and things then slowly fell apart#and that period of my life was when i was the most depressed and heartbroken#it's so much better now#cuz i realized#“well. i cant stop people from leaving me. the only thing i can do is be a good friend and trust them not to break my heart like ***** did”#cuz like. im still best friends with my kindergarten bestie. so like#***** is an outlier and should not be counted#and most of my friends are extremely introverted or on anti-depressants. so i dont mind being the one who makes plans#but sometimes its 4am and the thoughts GET TO ME#sigh sigh sigh#“***** is an outlier and should not be counted” damn. that actually does help.#thanks 4am brain <3#unfortunately its 5am and im too awake now rip#ive had friends comment over the last year about how much they appreciate the effort i put in#why can't i just cling onto THAT#sigh sigh#it'll get better
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