#and it's all of them. unless the car is literally falling apart. and then it's like 'I guess I can take $5k for it 🙄'

[kittlyns]

If I don't win the lottery or find an old person to leave me their entire fortune........... idk how I'm gonna do it haha

[fishmech]

so many times as a kid having to suddenly drop everything and race outside to yank shit off the clothesline as the rain suddenly starts and its a race to see what stuff can be pulled inside dry enough and what stuff will get so soaked it needs to be put in the dryer asap

Ok, so something I've noticed that is utterly baffling to me is that all the Americans I know primarily dry their clothes using a machine called a dryer. I don't even own a dryer. So, I need to know:

[wcters]

𝗖𝗛𝗥𝗜𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗔 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗡𝗔𝗣𝗦 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘

pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: chris with a girlfriend who is obsessed with naps/naps all the time

warnings/notes: established relationships, i love naps, my favourite things

- you love naps, you’re obsessed

- always down for one

- you can nap anytime, anywhere

- cars, planes, beds, couches, you name it

- you probably have an iron deficiency

- #hot girl shit

- you can and will fall asleep in the most uncomfortable positions and in any positions really: crisscross, curled up, head leaning on your knees, on your back, starfish, etc

- you could call yourself an expert 💅💅

- you look two ways when you’re sleeping: peaceful . . . or a victorian child dying on the plague

- that tiktok trend? that’s you, and you own it

- and chris had definitely posted you to that

- if not him, either nick or matt

- you also look like that polar bear waking from hibernation when you wake up

- or you went through a tornado

- dorothy from the wizard of oz who?

- so many pictures and clips of you alseep in the background of a video, tiktok, livestream, etc

- the triplets were filming a walk though of the tour bus and you’re just fast asleep in chris’s bunk wrapped in your blanket

- a lot of your friends bereals are you sleeping

- have a humidifier in your room at your house/apartment

- sleep with rain sounds on

- a shit ton of stuffed animals

- and that will be the same for chris’s bed

- they’ll take up most of the space on the bed and he will have a leg hanging off

- you refuse to take them off unless he begs

- you feel bad 😭😭 they’re you kids, you have to care for them

- spend a lot of money on stuffed animals, pillows, and blankets

- comfy fit 24/7

- uggs, sweatshirts, sweatpants, like a living and breathing fresh love ad

- everyone’s jealous

- chris loves you for it, but also dislikes it sometimes because it’s his clothes and he’ll want to wear them

- slippers 24/7

- naps with him!

- most cuddle sessions will end up as nap sessions

- or you alseep on top of him while chris is stuck sessions

- he says he hates it (he secretly loves it)

- a lot of the time even watching movies or hanging out will end up with you alseep in his lap because he likes to run his fingers through your hair (if it won’t mess it up and it’s not styled, scalp if he can) and your skin

- will carry you to bed

- you always wake up disoriented and covered in marks from the bedsheets pressing into you (signs of a good nap)

- you react to the word nap like a dog does to the word treat

- always excited for bed

- definition of snug as a bug in a rug

- you were an avid after school napper

- one of the only consistent things in your life

- you’re fighting a literal WAR between two and five pm to stay awake

- you fully expect (and deserve) a medal for staying awake 🏅🏅

- and you’re grumpy if you don’t have one. you were rude? you were acting like a bitch? didn’t have your nap.

- someone comments on how you sleep to much? immediately dislike

- like sis . . . what’s it to you?

- unless it’s a health concern, and even then, mouth. shut.

- if you’re sick, you’re napping/sleeping even more than you already do

- you’re the first one asleep at all nighters

- nick jokes that you might love sleeping more than you love chris

- . . . don’t tell him that.

- just kidding! . . .

- some of your favourite tiktoks are the ones where you get to choose where you’re sleeping

- you sleep talk sometimes (mostly gibberish) but not a lot, maybe like once or twice a month

- but you absolutely have had full on conversations with people and your answers make sense, and you will not remember them at all

- “hey, do you remember when i told you about that idea i had?” “no, when was this?” “last night.” “oh.”

- NAPS WITH TREVOR

- that dog lovesss you

- and loves taking naps with you

- will also nap with you in the car if you’re going on a road trip with chris and his family

- you love the feeling of his weight in your lap

- you’re a MENACE to wake up

- there have been times where chris just gives up and let’s you sleep if it’s not important because it’s taken him too long (he also gets lazy)

- a lot of the time it’s on their couch because you love their couch

- it’s so comfy, you’re favourite thing

- PISSED if you’re woken up by something stupid

- like one of the boys will make a loud noise and then they’ll all stand there like ‘oh shit’

- if you wake up and chris isn’t with you but he’s in the house, you’ll make a beeline to him and just hug him

- probably fall asleep in his arms standing up

[devilstruly]

best friends to lovers with jason todd

except it's just the best friends part with a ridiculous amount of pining

a/n - this is, and i cannot stress this enough, so self indulgent that it's insane (i'm keeping it gn. though bc we all deserve a chance with this man). in no particular order i'm literally just typing them as i go

☆ hangout days where you just crash at his place and spend the day doing nothing before going your separate ways on patrol

☆ ordering takeout multiple times a week (with bruce's credit card one of you stole) and using a spinning wheel on google to pick a place

☆ watching shitty reality shows/k-dramas so you can complain the whole time

☆ racing on motorcycles through gotham at 2 am after patrol

☆ he'll help with your car maintenance so you don't have to go to a mechanic and the result will be him with a few oil stains on his cheek and hands looking adorable

☆ buying him cosmetic products because he unironically uses 3-in-1 and doesn't see anything wrong with it

☆ stitching him up after a rough night because he refuses to go back to the cave unless he's dying again

☆ always taking his side in a squabble with the family because he is right and they can go fuck themselves (cough bruce cough)

☆ working on cases together, going undercover, etc.

☆ comforting him after a nightmare if you're spending the night together or talking to him on the phone until one of you falls back asleep if you're not

☆ wearing his clothes after crashing into his apartment/safe house after patrol

~°☆°~

i have so many of these i could talk about him forever

[anomaly-hivemind]

Behind You ☆ Ghostface x reader | Kinktober Day 24

Summary:  You get in your car only to have an unwanted visitor in the backseat. So, instead of getting stabbed, you get in the back with him.

Word Count: 1102

Tags: quickies, car sex, mask men, mask kink, face fucking, blow jobs, oral(male receiving), fingering, fem reader, choking, manhandling

You have been on edge lately, getting strange phone calls and pictures of you with little notes on the back, all of which are vaguely threatening, if not in a flirty undertone. Either way, it has made you very paranoid. You have a stalker, and there is no other word for it. This is why you're listing off every related curse word to yourself when you end up in the situation you are currently in. 

You got into the front seat of your car, after spending far too much time in the store trying to get things you needed, and it had gotten dark. You hopped into the car and cut your music in hopes of stilling your nerves, and as you locked your doors, it was like sealing your faith. You freeze when you feel the gloved hand reach around your neck from the back of the seat. Your heart drops to you and you want to risk looking back at your stalker. You didn't even get to grab the seat belt before getting grabbed. You could hear them breathing heavily from behind you but it was muffled. 

“You're going to do what I want and this will go real easy for you.” A distorted voice spoke through the thickening silence. You didn't want to die so you just got a short nod.

“That's a good girl.” The person muttered before grabbing you by the arm and forcing you to move into the back. 

You stumble and borderline fall into the back seat, feeling completely disoriented. You look up and see your masked stalker looking down at you. A pit formed in your stomach, and a lump in your throat had your mouth opening and closing like a dying fish.

You quickly sit up almost feeling dizzy with nervousness as the thick silence you despite your music playing faintly through the radio.  You feel the gloved Hand yank your pants and underwear off roughly, and you feel the cold fabric of your seat against your bare lower half. 

“Alright, pretty, behave, and we'll both have a good time.”  He rubbed his gloved fingers against your folds, causing you to shiver.   You let out a loud hiss when he pushed his fingers into you, scissoring them apart to stretch you out. 

“Please don't kill me,” you whimpered out; your voice was shaky, and your heart was beating so loud it felt like it was going out of your chest.  

“That's the last thing you need to worry about unless you do something stupid.” He pushed his fingers in and out of your cunt with each word he said, his voice rough as his thrust.   

A part is you couldn’t deny that there was a mix of things turning you on between all the fear. You could literally hear the friction of his gloves disappearing with how wet you were getting for him.  You could feel the bulge on his pants pushing against the fabric. 

“I know what you're thinking, slut,  you've always been so telling. Go ahead and suck it bitch!” You hear the voice change peak as he growls out his sentences to you. 

You don't need to be told twice, and you, with shaky hands, work to free his cock out of his boxers. You put him against your wet tongue against the tip; you cover his cock with your saliva as he fucks you with his fingers,  his knuckle brush against, adding the needed stimulation That was bringing you closer to cumming. You suck on his cock while moaning against him. You hate how good your stalker and potential future killer were finger-banging you.  You clenched around his fingers, and your legs tried to push close.  Your orgasm seems to only irritate the man as he yanks his fingers out of you and shoves his cock down your throat.

“Who said you could cum, you fucking slut” he forced you down against his balls, and you choked and gaged against him as your eyes watered. 

“You'll only be cumming on my cock…And even then, I still might not let you cum!” He hissed as his hand held you down and still so he can fuck your face roughly. 

He was slamming into your face so hard that you almost thought you were going to throw up from all the gagging. You hold his thigh in hopes that he will slow down, but he doesn't. Instead, he starts to move more aggressively and without rhythm as he works to claim your mouth. The hand that was once on the back of your head moves to your throat.  He roughly pulls you off of him and yanks you by the neck upward. He flips you onto your back and holds you into place. 

He holds your place by the neck tightly, causing you to gasp for air and grab at his hand to try and pull it away. Your body thrashes as it gets harder to breathe. He moves on top of you and loosens his grip as he slides into you fully.  You both let out a moan, and you take in as much air as you can. He brings his other hand down to your neck and so both his hands are wrapped around the delicate area.

He starts thrusting into your soaking pussy, the sounds becoming louder than the faint radio. He tightens his grip on your neck, and you tighten your grip on his cock.  You whine out a gargled wheeze as you start to get light-headed.  You both were on the edge of climax from before,  and it was all starting to climb back up. 

You moaned out a bated breath as you felt like your orgasm was overcoming you. You felt like you were going to pass out or die at his tight hands. But the way he was making your pussy feel like heaven on ice was clouding your judgment more than lack of air was. Your eyes rolled back as his grip tightly more; everything went white as you experienced the most intense climax of your life, and then everything went black.

Your Ghostface staker releases his grip on your neck and blows his load in your accepting cunt before pulling out of you. He crawls his way into the front seat and starts your car. You're startled back to consciousness by the sound of the music getting louder. You feel like a puddle, and your legs still shake as you look over at the man driving your car. 

“Time to take you home,” he purred, and you can't help but smile.

[raggedytiger]

ragatha/agatha and pomni/penny human hcs!

(r)agatha:

is an english teacher!

yes she still loves horses. she used to ride them, & she loves old western movies.

owns cowboy hat and boots.

analytical and loves long & winding conversations.

has a very happy cat named sandwich.

patches her own clothes, doesn't have kids but if she did she would embroider their names into their belongings.

she still plays cello, she loves music in general, probably sings like an angel.

can't do any mathematics.

can drive, but like a lunatic. somehow has never had an accident though, so it's fine.

probably has a cute little baby blue/yellow car now, but definitely had a beat up offroader truck at some point that got put to good use. or maybe she still does, i'm not the boss.

total lesbian, a bit of a heartbreaker but not intentionally (women just keep falling for her)

goes to town/neighbourhood/community meetings. likely is/was in a knitting circle

absurd number of quilts in her home

pomni/penny:

is an accountant as we know, and cannot cook for shit as we know.

no pets she can barely take herself for walks. is more similar to a cat, but had a dog growing up. would love a collie or a dalmatian probably.

would name the dog something stupid like Thermometer Johnson.

she can drive, but nervously.

really quick thinker, like impressively, unless she's under HUGE amounts of stress. is literally always thinking at 100mph.

no sense of interior decor or personal style. all practical, kind of butch. really does kill a suit.

very much lesbian but not fully to terms with it. probably had short-lived relationships with men in which she was 'content' but didn't really care for it. seeing agatha as agatha for the first time was probably a crazy punch to her little gay heart. not to mention the cowboy gear.

autistic

watches 90s anime to wind down

listens to every single genre of music. passes a lot of time with headphones in, slowly making her way thru the entire world's discography

owns no band merch or anything though she just listens

can't sleep without a fan on, thunderstorm 12hr audio, blackout curtains, weighted blanket, water nearby

does not sleep a lot

both of them (going to call them pomni and ragatha for convenience):

didn't immediately recognise one another. i havent got an exact idea of how they reunited after getting out, but there were tears.

bonded in a very rare and unique way - they got to revel in the newfound joys of real life again. they got to eat delicious food, go on long, unobstructed walks in the real sun, be warmed by it, chew on ice cubes and shiver at the pain, listen to each other's heartbeats, listen to real music, read real books, smell soaps and flowers and sauces. they went to the supermarket together and read all the labels, and bought one of each type of fruit to try between them, and smelled all the candles, and touched all the blankets. spent a lot of time holding hands and kissing and i'm sorry to say, probably having sex, because holy shit, i'm real, you're real, we're real

now live together in ragatha's apartment, after pomni moved out of her small and confusingly-furnished flat.

both of them feel inadequate from time to time. this is resolved by a stern-but-loving talking-to.

sandwich likes pomni very much. pomni doesn't really get cats, but loves sandwich a great deal, and enjoys letting her sleep on her lap.

ragatha is very pleased to see her girls getting along.

ragatha cooks, pomni chops the veg. she often doesn't fuck it up

pomni cleans a lot as a 'thank you for letting me live here, i love you'. she's very much acts of service, ragatha is words & physical touch <3

they watch a lot of movies together. depending on how long they've been stuck, they might have culture to catch up on

ragatha wants to have a house with a garden one day. pomni starts germinating seeds from their fruit & veg like a weird science experiment. ragatha is delighted when she is presented with a baby tomato plant.

clothes are shared. ragatha's are bigger, but most of pomni's are ill-fitting anyway so it can go both ways. ragatha likes to dress pomni up in different outfits and have her do a little fashion show. pomni pretends not to savour the confidence boost.

pomni starts sleeping more

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | July 29th-August 4th 2024

Against my best intentions, I've been seduced by the dark side 🙈 (the infideleddie/buckfidelity trend).

Complete

i swear it will get easier by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Post-S7, Chris&Buddie | 1,8K | General): “Chris texted me last night.” Tension slams into Eddie’s body. “Is he okay?” “He’s fine,” Buck says quickly. “There’s nothing wrong. He just—” he looks up, meets Eddie’s eyes. “He asked me how you’re doing.” Eddie’s face falls. “I’ve been texting,” he says, voice small. “Just—checking in, you know? Every day. But yesterday I thought—maybe I should give him some space—” he scrubs a hand across his face. “Did he think—” He doesn’t complete the sentence, but Buck fills in the blanks. Did he think I’d given up on him?

Jeep Talking by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Chim POV | 2K | Teen): A ride in the backseat of Buck's Jeep with Buck and Eddie in the front gives Chim new perspective on his brother-in-law's strange dynamic with his so-called "best friend.' And Chim is sick of them being so oblivious.

I'm falling apart (and all I want is to trust you) by diaz_evan (3x03: The Searchers | 2K | General): OR Eddie and Christopher's reactions to Buck collapsing in 3x03: The Searchers.

unless you're choosing me by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (Post-S7, Misunderstandings | 4K | Teen): “Could you check that?”, Eddie called from the kitchen. He had insisted to make something for them tonight instead of ordering their usual pizza and ice cream dinner. “Sure”, Buck replied and snatched the phone off the coffee table. He knew the pass code – it was the day Eddie had started working at the 118. There was no new text, just a message from his phone provider, but an earlier conversation was still opened. Before Buck could place the phone back on the table, something caught his eye. Why was Eddie talking to Hen about him? or: buck reads a text he wasn’t supposed to read

can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Post-S7, Getting Together, Pride | 4K | General): Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right? - or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.

the one where buck finds out by weewooforever (Post-S7, Misunderstandings, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): “You’re — You’re over me?” Buck manages to choke out, looking towards Eddie with wide eyes. “When were you… “ He says, his voice barely above a whisper as he tries to make sense of this whole situation. “When were you under me?” or the one where buck listens to a voicemail that turns his whole life upside down.

nothing wrong with me loving you by cranberrymoons/ @cranberrymoons (Post-S7, Cheating, Sexting | 5K | Explicit): He’s not thinking about it. He’s not. He’s definitely not. Buck leaves for the night, gets in his car and drives away like everything’s normal – normal because it is, it literally is, it’s the most normal night in the world, and Eddie is the most normal he’s ever been, and then maybe an hour later, he gets a text. * buck and eddie watch red white and royal blue together; one thing leads to another (aka: the sexting fic) (Part 1 of 🔥buck and eddie's red hot infidelity summer)

i'll come to you and drop my bags (you'll help me unpack them) by farfromthstars/ @doeeyeseddie (Post-S7, Media fic | 5K | General): eddie has some important conversations via text over the course of the worst(?) summer of his life.

����Down to the Bones of Me by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7, Road Trip | 5K | Teen): The morning after Christopher leaves Eddie gets in his truck and drives. Buck lets him go, and Eddie fights to come back for both of them.

Oopsie Daisy (Never Knew That Was Your Boo, Baby) by ameliahart (Post-S7, Cheating | 5K | Explicit): The first time it happens, it’s Tommy’s fault. Maybe that’s unfair, all things considered, but Eddie certainly isn’t going to blame Buck for it. And Eddie’s single, so it can’t be his fault. But Tommy sent Buck a dick pic while Buck was at Eddie’s house, so Eddie feels secure in blaming Tommy for everything that happened after. * Or, five times Buck cheats on Tommy with Eddie, and one time he doesn't.

I Always Wanted My Own Spark by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Future Fic | 5K | Teen): In 2040, during the midst of a family crisis, Christopher Diaz and his younger brother butt heads. (Part 5 of 🔥Anywhere I Want, Just Not Home)

it's a small crime (i got no excuse) by justhockey (Post-S7, Cheating | 6K | Mature): It’s a dangerous game they’re playing. Buck doesn’t care. He’d like to blame it on the alcohol running through his blood and loosening his inhibitions. On the rough shift, or the even rougher week he’s had. He’d like to blame it on Eddie, or Tommy, or anything at all that could absolve him of what he’s about to do. But the truth is, Buck just wants. He wants, and he wants, and he wants. So he takes.

hang me up on your bedroom wall by hrudayam/ @eddiegettingshot (Post-S7, PWP, Cheating, Breeding kink | 6K | Explicit): “You’re going to be a great father someday,” Eddie says eventually, because he’s worse than he used to be and Buck’s reverent eyes make him feel—they just make him feel. “Eddie, I—” “You are,” he repeats, firm. “Don’t you think I’d know better than anyone?”

drink up (you're wasted on me) by okanus/ @buddieism (7x06: There Goes The Groom, PWP, Cheating | 9K | Explicit): Or: Eddie and Buck hook up at the bachelor party. Difficulties ensue.

close ain't close enough (til we cross the line) by cranberrymoons/ @cranberrymoons (Post-S7, Cheating, Sexting | 10K | Explicit): Eddie thinks about it for a minute. He really does, because he’s more clear-headed now than he was last night, so he thinks better of it for maybe thirty seconds. Remembers the inarguable fact that Buck has a boyfriend and that Eddie is – well. Learning some things about himself, maybe, but is very specifically not Buck’s boyfriend, so. He shouldn’t. Right? Except. (Part 2 of 🔥buck and eddie's red hot infidelity summer)

all my little words by youbetsya/ @maddiebuckettebuckley (Post-S7, Epistolary | 11k | Teen): Eddie: Did you just send me an email? Buck: yeah lol. Eddie: Why… I dont think you’ve ever emailed me actual words before. Just stuff to print when your printer is broken Buck: did you read it? Eddie: Not yet. Too busy trying to figure out why the fuck you’re emailing me. Buck: just read it dude 🙄

🔥treat an opportunity like it's treating you by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Post-S2 | 12K | Teen): After losing his leg as a result of the fire engine bombing, Buck is presented with the opportunity to have a service dog donated to him.

🔥 Operation: Keep Eddie Diaz Busy and Annoyed by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Post-S7, Getting Together | 15K | General): Or, the one where Buck forces Eddie to keep busy while Chris is gone, but ends up catching a bad case of The Feelings in the middle of Eddie learning to love pickling things to irritate Chim and charming old ladies through square dancing.

🔥I think if you're lucky by colonoscopys/ @colonoscopys (Prince Buck/Firefighter Eddie | 19K | Teen): Evan hits him with his car.

mask over my eyes and an arrow through the heart by youbetsya/ @maddiebuckettebuckley (Post-S7, Cheating | 35K | Explicit): “Look, you’re my family, a-and I want you guys to be on board with this.” Buck is tense, anxious. Eddie should really say something. Be supportive. “But it’s happening either way. So.” Bobby leans over to clap Buck on the shoulder, staring him straight in the eye as he does. “I am happy for you, Buck. As long as you’re sure.” Some of the tension falls away from Buck’s posture. He smiles. “I am. Sure. I’m super sure.” “Alright then.” Bobby pats Buck’s shoulder once more before he pulls away. “Congratulations, kid.” Buck visibly exhales in relief, which Eddie finds solace in despite the fact that he’s currently being stabbed with a thousand tiny knives. Or: Buck is getting married. He is.

drift past the flowers. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6, (Un)requited Love | 45K | Teen): OR Buck and Natalia get engaged, and Eddie flees the state about it. A petty email correspondence ensues.

WIP

Where there's smoke by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Multiverses | 4/31 | 5K | Teen): His eyelids are heavy. His lungs ache. The smoke is dense and thick, slowly suffocating him. Eddie feels himself drift as Buck’s voice penetrates the smoke, cuts through the fog in his brain. “Eddie, stay with me. Stay with me, Eds.” Eddie wants to stay. He wants to open his eyes and see Buck. He doesn’t want to leave. But he’s so tired, and sleep is calling him. Maybe it will be okay. Maybe his dreams will be sweet. Maybe there’ll be peace, there. And maybe, if he just rests for a little while, he’ll be able to find his way back.

E & E: A Buddie Drabble Collection by Tizniz (Prompt fic | 108/? | 24K | General): A collection of drabbles for Buck and Eddie.

Best Case Scenario by lesbianrobin/ @lesbianrobin (Podcast, Multimedia fic | 2/? | 4K | Teen): Buck and Eddie start a podcast. a multimedia epistolary fic

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 132/? | 419K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

[polakina]

what it's like to be in a relationship

call of duty headcanons #1

hc masterlist // masterlist

i'm a sucker for headcanons, and they're so fun to write, i can't lie

rating: explicit

-

treats you like a fucking princess

lets be fr

loves to be close to you; hand on your thigh, on your back, holding you close, this man is basically attached to you

such a gentleman. will hold doors open, doesn't let you get out of the car unless he's there to open your door and hold a hand out

never calls you by your real name (unless he's mad...or worked up hehe)

loves to call you 'honey' or 'darling'. it's his favourite domestic term of endearment. your heart glows when he calls you that

protective as fuck

always keeps an eye on you when you're out with him and the task force, even if it's just for a drink. makes sure he knows where you are, and gets ready to approach you if he notices you've caught someone else's eye

will not hesitate to argue with any man who disrespects you. just his voice alone sends them running away with their tail between their legs

doesn't raise his voice with you. ever. is the calmer one in an argument, and likes to talk things through

if he's seriously pissed off, he'll take himself away from the situation and come back to apologise when he's calmed down

doesn't like to talk about work with you, unless you're on his task force. you're his happy place to come home to after the shit he deals with in the line of duty, it's where he doesn't have to worry about looking over his shoulder

nsfw (minors LEAVE)

adores everything about you, and will tell you that when he fucks you

favourite position is missionary. watching you fall apart beneath his only turns him on more

massively into dirty talk, and he knows that it's his voice you love the most, so what he says doesn't nearly come into comparison to how he says it

but when he's pissed off, or stressed with work, he loves to bend you over his desk, pulling you back by your hair and pounding mercilessly into you

aftercare king. loves to take care of you and clean you up, kissing you on the side of the head and telling you how good you were for him

knows his way around a woman, exactly where to touch or kiss you to make you squirm. he's got experience. a lot of experience

always up to try something new if you want to give it a shot. anything that makes you happy

will literally murder anyone that says a bad word about you

over protective to the MAX

anyone starts making you feel uncomfortable? he's behind you, staring down whoever is speaking to you until they scamper off, uneasy under his piercing gaze

a man of very few words, shows his affection in other ways

a cuddle bug (baby spoon all the way)

likes to lie with his head on your chest or your lap while you play with his hair. will fall asleep right there and then

favourite thing to do is shower with you (not in that sense you filthy maggots)

loves to wash your hair or your body. just being close to you is enough

always up before you, waking you up with a coffee and a kiss on your cheek

you're the only one he never wears his mask around, so when you compliment how he looks, he doesn't really know how to take it

helping you do simple things is one way he loves to care for you

cant reach something? he's right behind you getting it for you. cant open a jar? he won't even look up from what he's doing to take the jar and open it, silently handing it back to you

secretly a reading fiend. you've caught him looking through your bookshelf for something to peak his interest, so when he was away with work one time, you added a whole new shelf and filled it with books for him

he takes one with him on deployment, and switches it out when he gets back, giving you a full review and rating every time

nsfw (minors LEAVE)

fucking loves to make you ride him

his large hands on your hips, pushing and pulling you to his will, grinding up into you

likes to make you beg. can and will tease you with the tip of his cock until you've said please a thousand times before ramming it into you

prefers to finish inside you, it feels more connected that way, for the both of you

takes pictures of you with him on deployment, you know about it of course, so he has something to occupy him with at night, even though he knows its not as good as the real thing, it'll tide him over until he gets home

not as much into degrading as others, but will tease and mock you endlessly if you'd done something to piss him off previously

favourite time to fuck you is in the morning. especially if you both sleep in and wake up with you in his arms

he'll gently roll you away from him if you're not already laid in that position, kissing your shoulder and neck, his hand trailing over your waist and down your sleep shorts

it feels so comforting, and personal

you're both sleepy and moaning quietly into eachothers mouths as he rolls his hips against yours lazily

will try and make you laugh at any point of the fucking day

does not care what you're doing, he'll crack a joke

doesn't mind carrying you in the slightest, will take great effort in making a scene out of it

large puddle on the street, he's already scooped you up bridal style, bragging out sacrificing his boots and jeans to keep you dry

feeling tired after a night out? prepare for a bumpy piggyback ride back to the car with your shoes in one of his hands

secretly learns new recipes while he's away, taking note of other cultures meals and concoctions to bring back to your own kitchen

calls everyday, updating you on the boys and when he'll next be home. will go to all the 141/vaqueros and let them say hello to you over the phone (price once grabbed the phone and whispered for you to take him on holiday so he could get some peace from Soap)

wants a dog. a lot. goes on about it everyday. your neighbour has a dog, and your hear him every sunday morning saying hello to him through the fence when he's mowing the lawn

get this man a dog

physical touch and gift giving is this man's favourite thing to do for you. even if it's not an excessive or expensive gift, you still love it

you mentioned once that you loved a certain perfume; it appears on your dresser a few days later. you run out of snacks one night while he's grocery shopping; he brings home a basket of all your favourites

his job is a stressful stressful experience every time he flies out, so you've gotten into the routine when he comes home to stick on your favourite movie, make your favourite homecooked meal and lie on the couch until you both fall asleep, the credits rolling

nsfw (minors LEAVE)

will fuck you anywhere. anywhere.

big into public sex. does not care if someone hears him. will do that shit anywhere he can and make a meal out of it every time

loves to grab you by the jaw to make you look at him while he fucks you, seeing the pleasure in your contorted features, seeing the look in your eye as you're just about to cum

phone sex is something he took up early into your relationship. it started out with just talking for the first few months, but after a while he started to miss you a lot

miss your taste, your touch, how you felt under him, on top of him

then phone sex turned into a regular thing; you in the comfort of your bed in the home you shared, him in the barracks of his compound out in the middle of god knows where

is not ashamed of begging

has been on his knees before you, and will do it again

begged at your feet before to let him touch you just one last time, to bury himself between your legs once more

but it was never just one last time

the man has the stamina of a goddamn horse

such a fucking softie i love this man oml

basically worships the ground you walk on

sends you pictures of cute animals he sees on deployment

when he's home, he loves to go out with you on cute little dates. this man sees anything as a date; going on a walk, feeding ducks at the park, cozy nights in, absolutely anything

showed you off to the boys when you went to visit him at the barracks, and was so happy when you gut along with everyone

calls you whenever he can, but you hear the panic in his voice whenever Soap steals his phone and runs off to tell you something embarrassing Gaz did that day

loves to bring you back small gifts from all the different countries he visits on deployment, you have a little collection going in your room of everything he's gotten you

loves to cuddle into you, burying his face into your neck. i'm telling you, he's a big ole softie at heart

can be protective, but mainly just sits back and lets you handle it. he knows you can take care of himself. but if it starts getting a little heated, or that dickhead goes to grab you, he's all up in that guy's business

has a cute habit of doing the sweetest, most simplistic things for you, especially when you're getting ready to go out with your girlfriends

loves to brush your hair while you fix your makeup (he even watched tutorials on how to braid, curl and style hair at night when he's away for work)

ties your shoelaces for you if you're out and don't notice. makes the same joke every time, saying that he could just leave your laces until you tripped, so he could catch you and brag about how you fell for him

nsfw (minors LEAVE)

prefers slow, sensual sex over anything

your bodies touching, sweat slicking your skin together, hands constantly roaming all over you

leaves kisses over every inch of skin he can reach, never leaving one part of you untouched

his absolute favourite thing is for you to sit on his face. he fucking loves that shit. gripping your thighs as he buries his face into your cunt, hearing the soft moans fall from your lips

but when he's fucking you, he's louder than you are; constant praises coming your way, deep moans filling the room as he grinds into you deeply, slowly

when he's just got off mission, he needs to destress, and loves that you know exactly what to do

he never asks for blowjobs, ever. but when he gets back from work and his entire body is tense, he fucking loves the way you guide him to the sofa or the bed and kneel down in front of him

after you start, he can't shut up; telling you how good you're making him feel, grabbing a fistful of your hair. not to push your head further down, just to have something to grab onto

up for anything. anything you want to try, he's ready to give it a go

even tried anal once, but he couldn't sit down comfortably for a week afterwards, and had to make up every excuse under the sun to the 141 on why he looked in pain during meetings and in helo's or trucks

wouldn't let you near his ass at all after that. and would never let you know he secretly enjoyed it a little

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim and Jason headcanons 👀

One morning during breakfast Tim keeps excusing himself to go to the bathroom to fix his boxers because they must've stretched in the wash. Meanwhile, Jason can barely move and waddles into the kitchen like he has a rubber band around his legs. Imagine the horror when they connect the dots and realize their underwear got swapped

One day Tim's room suddenly starts to smell like tomatoes and he tears it apart trying to find the source. Turns out Jason put soup in the humidifier

Jason: *gives Tim an iced coffee*

Tim: "You put salt in it"

Jason: "No I didn't"

Tim: "I can literally see the crystals"

Jason: "What crystals?"

Tim: "Right there, all settled at the bottom"

Jason: "That's how the coffee is"

Tim still owes Jason for the time Jason stopped him from faceplanting in Alfred the cat's litter box

Contrary to how it appears, Jason's hair is thicker. It's so thick that Tim accidentally drops a glob of mayonnaise in it and Jason doesn't notice until he combs his hair hours later

They get bunk beds on a mission. Tim gets the top bunk after losing rock-paper-scissors. While he's asleep, Jason moves the ladder to the other side

Jason puts a cockroach on Tim's desk thinking he'll freak out. Tim, who's on his third day without sleep, looks Jason dead in the eye and eats it

As a kid, Jason often re-wore dirty clothes until he absolutely had to go to the laundromat meanwhile Tim washed his more frequently in small batches so he wouldn't get told off for having a huge pile. Cut to the present day where Tim's sifting through a mountain of Jason's laundry for a pair of socks and Jason is offering zero help whatsoever

They stand out in the rain to see who gets drenched first. It's usually Tim—he absorbs water like a paper towel. Jason then gets in trouble because Tim could've gotten sick ("Thanks, Bruce, not like I'm soaked to the bone too")

And when Tim gets sick, he refuses to take his meds unless someone sneaks it into his food. Finally, Jason has a use for the NyQuil Chicken TikTok

Jason drives three hours from an out-of-state safehouse to hide in Tim's closet and scare him. Little does he know, Tim is in the closet at the safehouse, waiting to pounce on Jason

Jason peels a pride sticker off a villain's car and gives it to Tim

Jason mixes all the Goldfish crackers into a dough and bakes them into a single giant Goldfish. Why? 'Cause he can, and Tim needs something to test his new food pic filters on

In March their patrols end by meeting at McDonald's for Shamrock Shakes

Tim prank calls Jason and convinces him he's lost in Metropolis. Eight hours, countless Bizarro flights, and two unfortunate geese encounters later, Jason storms into the Batcave while Tim simply grins and asks, "What'd you think of my new VPN?"

Tim and Jason find a wheelbarrow at a crime scene and keep it after the case is closed because it's a free wheelbarrow. This happens twice more and now they have enough for a family wheelbarrow race

Bruce makes them spend more time together, so Jason decides to teach Tim the Three-Card Monty. Tim just nods along because he doesn't know how say that he already learned it by watching the second Robin out-con a conman

Jason wakes Tim up one morning by chucking a feather duster at him, saying Alfred wants everything clean. So Tim gathers all the dust in his room and dumps it on Jason's bed before going back to sleep

The Ferris wheel has a clear "no food" policy but Tim doesn't listen and sneaks a chili dog anyway. Jason's in the seat below him, and it's the second time something falls in his hair without him noticing

Jason: "Red Robin, do you read me?"

Tim: "Affirmative. What do you need?"

Jason: "Pick a different gargoyle. That one's mine"

Tim: "I don't see your name on it"

Jason: "Check the underside"

Tim: "It just says Robin, so technically it's both of ours"

At one of Jason's safehouses there's a mysterious bucket in the corner of the living room. No one but Tim knows what it's for

[thestralluvr]

Lars Pinfield x reader headcanons part 2

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

his glasses are constantly breaking, lenses falling out, arms breaking, the bridge has literally snapped but he refuses to buy another pair.

avoids cameras like the plague.

a tech geek, he’s revamped a vintage camera.

his favourite movie is Vroom (1988), his favourite character is Ringe.

you’d think he’d own a super cool vintage car then, right? wrong he’s got a total shitbox that’s falling apart at the seams.

like the door is literally held together with duct tape.

his favourite show however, is drag race. his all time favourite queen is definitely jinkx.

cryptid believer, he’s definitely pulled all nighters researching them and comes to you with blood-shot eyes in the morning like “hey y/n did you know-“.

even working in the paranormal field he’s still a skeptic when it comes to hauntings, a fake until proven true kinda guy.

sets your alarms 15 minutes before you have to actually get up in order to get those mandatory cuddles in.

he adores the domestic moments between the two of you, even something as mundane cooking or cleaning together.

not big on pda unless he’s jealous 🤷 if someone’s flirting with you and not getting the hint he’ll wrap his arms around you from behind and kiss your neck, he can be possessive and it’s really hot.

but other than that, it’s usually hand holding, a quick kiss goodbye or hello, maybe an arm wrapped around you or hand on your thigh and legs entwined when working together.

but alone? he’s all over you, he can’t get enough.

his version of borrowing from people is secretly taking it then discretely putting it back when they realise what’s missing, he’d never admit it was him 😭.

poor babe puts a lot of pressure on himself.

he’d never admit if he was struggling with a certain calculation or something wasn’t adding up.

but you know, you can always tell.

so, when the moment arises you quietly ask him to join you for a break outside, 9 times out of 10 he’ll be able to figure out what he was stuck on once you’ve helped him clear his mind.

he’s forever grateful for you, what may seem like little things to you mean the entire world to him.

less sappy, you know that tiktok trend of boyfriends sleeping like they’re dead, got the plague, pharaoh’s curse, clutching their pearls? well that’s him.

his arms crossed over his chest, he’s ready for his coffin.

you’ve had to check if he was breathing a few times 😭.

if you’re american, he definitely mocks your accent.

if you’re not, you both secretly mock others’.

he’s constantly bumping into things, he doesn’t have much luck with corners i’m afraid. but hey, he’s tall with very gangly limbs i don’t blame him.

you’re always there, band aid box in hand with an unimpressed look on your face.

lars pinfield is the LEADER of the sassy man apocalypse.

the sass from this man, you swear you’re getting premature greys!!

in his hipster phase (referring to part 1) he got a septum piercing but he’s had it flipped up since.

the first time you saw it you were so taken aback.

“since when has that been there?!?!”

“uhh 2012?”

i think he’d have an industrial too but that’s just my opinion.

.

.

hopefully this was okay!!! i feel like you can definitely tell i’m australian by my writing 😭

[sugar-omi]

i start school in 12 hours 😧

so to keep from losing my sanity imma ramble about how Cove would make school fun if you hate it, like me!

Going to school with him, rather it's by bus, car, or on foot is always nice bc you guys can just talk and hang out on your own.

If someone ever tries to start shit w you, he's there and ready to kick ass. (not literally, he's a gentle giant. i mean unless he really has to)

If you get easily burnt out and lack motivation to do your school work, you guys can have study sessions!!! although results may vary when it comes to how much work you actually get done 💀

Sits next to you in all your classes and pouts when your schedules don't line up. Promises to see you at lunch and if you hate the caf like me he makes it soo much more bearable just by being there.

If you're a complainer like me, he'll listen to you and give solutions

his solutions: "let's just skip."

you don't tho. not too often at least

i feel like Cove would definitely be the type to skip for you. Like you tell him you're not going to school and he's already at your window like 'ok so what are WE gonna do then?'

doesn't matter if he was dressed and ready to go, he doesn't wanna be there without you.

UGH HES THE BEST I NEED HIM SO BAD

THAT LAST BIT MADE ME SMILE

school was hard for me socially n I never did the homework, so cove would definitely help you do the homework even if you end up copying some of his answers

socially, like I said before he tries to take thr heat off you. and I agree he doesn't rlly get physical!!! but if someone is giving you a hard time he comes up behind them, puts a hand on their shoulder.. "why don't you stop bothering them?"

or will stand in between you and crosses his arms. cove isn't that scary but he doesn't care abt that, he just wants to protect you

will indulge in your complaints too!!! even shares his own complaints. AND BACK TO THAT SKIPPING THING

okay just to set the scene, let's say you're really stressed and end up having an anxiety attack or feel one coming on before class. cove pulls you to a secluded spot and you end up calming down and crying while he holds you, eventually falling asleep with your head in his lap while he stands guard.

after that, whenever you get stressed or tired. anything like that, he finds a spot you guys can hide and you'll skip class.

you try not to do it often since they'll end up calling your parents, but you treasure those little moments bc he'll share a snack or doodle w you, or even better play more hangman w you <333

will play tic-tac-toe in the middle of class!!!

also I love cove climbing thru your window fully dressed for school and he's like "so, what did you dream last night bc I dreamed I was a SHARK which was rlly cool but then you were a fish n I ate u and I woke up and cried-"

this man is crazy istg

omg if this is like step 3 n youre dating he'll walk you to all your classes and squeezes your hand goodbye bc he's too embarrassed to kiss in front of your classmates n teacher (definitely does it once on the cheek and RUNS AWAY)

yall never live down how lovesick you are I promise

OMG SENDS TERRI AND RANDY TO DELIEVER MESSAGES OR SNACKS N STUFF

once had terri deliever a little sticky note w a heart on it or smth and terri went "omg yall are so CHEESY EVEN WHEN YOURE APART" randy is giggling and teasing you too

omg imagine he's in PE and he sees you. he runs to the door or window and looks back and forth before he steals a hug or kiss (pls kiss him, if not you owe him 2 kisses to replenish his energy fully)

teacher: holden! get back here. stop making out w y/n!

cove: *jumps 10 feet* y-yes! omg.... I'll see you later y/n<3

[fandomfluffandfuck]

https://www.tumblr.com/fandomfluffandfuck/737790809786793984/idk-what-switch-fucking-flipped-but-the-blasphemy

omg the way i immediately went to maddie's blog to read her priest!steve and inmate!bucky now that u reminded me of it 🥴 the flavor guilt brings to the table is always🙏🙏🙏

related to this

"Matthew 26:41" by MaddieWritesStucky

Also--

"The Wages of Sin" by MaddieWritesStucky

Aaaand, I'll plug my own kinky blasphemy drabble, too, lol--

"Did I Mistake You For A Sign From God"

Anyway, fics aside, yes yes yes-! I love Maddie's works, and those in particular are *chef's kiss* I love them 🥴🥴

Now is the time when I also admit to maybe having already having started planning a new fic or drabble, I haven't decided yet what it will be (if it will be anything 🤷🏻‍♂️), related to blasphemy and sacrilegious and kinks of the kind. Although, it's not evanstan and it's not stucky...

I've been thinking unholy thoughts about God the Bounty Hunter and Cole Turner...

Cole whimpers, "guh! Nnngh! Oh, God!" His fingers tight, tight, and tightening in the bounty hunter's hair, holding on as he swallows around his cock, so deep that he's in his throat, Jesus, he's never--no one has ever taken him so deep. Cole's throwing his head back, giving up on being quiet so they don't get caught in this fucking creepy ass parking lot, but then...

God pulls off.

And Cole whines again.

God smirks arrogantly, "you're damn right." He jerks him nice and slow in his fist, too tight and overwhelming, making Cole want to crawl out of his skin. "Say it again," God murmurs, voice husky and rich, satisfied by already knowing that he will. Cole doesn't have a choice when he's making him feel like that--

"God, God, fuck, fuck mee," he whimpers, uncaring how pathetic he sounds when the man between his legs does whatever that was again.

Later, Cole lets God fuck him. He needs it.

Cole ends up on top of God, riding him in the back of the car, fogging the windows, but despite what their positioning might have anyone else infer, God is absolutely the one in control.

"You fall apart so pretty," God purrs, "you look like an angel, all fucked-out."

Cole whimpers, shaking under the praise. He can't help it, clenching down on his cock, it feels so big inside him.

"That's it," God groans, "give me what I deserve."

Cole's lips drop open, maybe to call out his arrogance and pride, but all that really happens is his lips quivering. It's too hot to even moan.

"You gonna worship me, huh, angel? Gonna kneel and serve me? C'mon, I know you want to, I can practically see that brain of yours dissolving, angel, it's okay, give in, I know I make you feel better than anyone else has. It's okay." God talks down to him even though Cole is literally on top of him, and it's so delicious. He feels crushable. Tiny and delicate underneath the power of the other man--underneath the power of God. "'M gonna ruin you, but I promise it won't hurt. Not unless you want it to."

An even hotter, bigger wave of heat crashes through Cole, so strong he helplessly swoons down, collapsing onto God's chest.

God responds cruelly, kissing him within an inch of his life. Pouring enough lust to kill him into the embrace, biting his lower lip until he cries out. Cole could cry. He feels so good.

So... uh... head full 😮‍💨😮‍💨

[demigods-posts]

headcanon that percy and annabeth are both equally infatuated with the HSM franchise: PJO version

• the obsession started after the sea of monsters when annabeth stayed over at percy's apartment and they argued over which movie to watch

• eventually, they decided on watching HSM together since neither of them had seen it and they ended up loving it

• at karaoke nights at camp half-blood, they often sang Troy/Gabriella duets (The Start of Something New, What I've Been Looking For, Breaking Free)

• admittedly, they sounded terrible, but singing is so much easier and less embarrassing when they do it together, so neither one of them cared

• the implications of their duet were completely lost on them, but it was one of the main reasons the camp ships them

• after The Titan's curse takes place, annabeth continues the tradition of staying over percy's apartment (also because they missed each other since she got kidnapped) and watched HSM 2 and they both fell even more in love with the franchise

• the morning of percy's fourteenth birthday, he and annabeth baked cookies in the kitchen while blasting 'Work This Out' so loud that the neighbors complained

• sally found the loud music annoying too at first but completely forgot about it when she watched percy and annabeth sing 'You Are the Music in Me' while throwing flour at each other, obviously falling for each other

• percy and annabeth completely shut down the idea of them dating when sally not-so-subtly teases them about it, but sally wasn't fooled

• throughout percy's and annabeth's eighth grade year, they frequently email each other (they know demigods and electronics are a bad idea but they don't care when it comes to each other) and constantly sign-off their emails with quotes or song lyrics to hilariously describe their current mood

• "dude, my brothers literally came into my room and spilled water all over my plans for the camp's next prom night. come fix it." - wisegirl12, how did we get from the top of the world to the bottom of the heap?

• "no." - seaweedbrain18, i gotta go my own way

• the year HSM 3 came out, percy and annabeth weren't on good terms and didn't speak to each other unless it was about preparing for the upcoming war

• still, they refused to watch HSM 3 without the other

• after the battle of the labyrinth (more importantly, after their kiss), percy iris messages annabeth and apologizes for how distant he's been and admits he been avoiding everyone and everything related to being a demigod because he's scared that he'll die before he'll graduate

• annabeth apologizes for being so rude to him and admits that's she's just scared she'll lose him and is shitty at expressing her emotions

• the two continue to talk about anything and everything and eventually get to the topic of HSM 3

• they admit to each other that they hadn't seen it since it came out, so they make a pact: if they both survive the war, annabeth has to come over and watch the movie with him

• later that week, percy secretly purchases the DVD for the movie and promises to not open it until then

• as we know, the two survive the war and finally get together on percy's birthday

• as sally comes to pick the two up from camp, they run to the car hand-in-hand and sally immediately figures it out and is so happy for them

• sally spends almost the entire car ride to the apartment enforcing the 'door open at all times rule', much to the couple's embarrassment

• later that night when annabeth stays over, she and percy cuddle on the couch and talk and then annabeth reminds him of the pact they made

• percy leaps out of his seat and grabs the DVD, much to annabeth's surprise, and the two cuddle and watch the movie together

• from that point forward, whenever they email each other, percy signs off his email as "seaweedbrain18, troy bolton"

• annabeth thinks it's incredibly corny, but signs off her emails as "wisegirl12, gabriella montez"

I was listening to the soundtrack for HSM 2 and got this headcanon idea. Add to it if you want :)

[ashtxeman]

Punch-Out!! Driving HC's!

Returning to my roots, aka returning to the big old Punch-Out document I have hidden away in my vault.

Due to medical reasons, Joe's licence was revoked. He likes taxis anyway though, so he's not fussed!

Similarly to Joe, Kaiser doesn't drive for medical reasons. He likes walking places, but most of the time he's forced into getting a lift by some overly kind co-worker.

You've seen the cutscenes, Disco can drive and he drives like a king. His car is absolutely decked out, and he loves keeping it spotless. He's also the number one guy to ask for a quick lift.

Hippo doesn't see a point in transport, and barely understands it anyways, so that's a no-go.

Hondo can drive, and he's one of those 'always under the speed-limit' people. The limit's 70, Hondo, stop going 60 please.

Hugger can drive! He's got an absolutely gorgeous pick-up truck and he insists on cleaning it and repairing it himself, just to get his hands dirty. It's an old son of a bitch but he won't have it replaced unless it literally falls apart.

Tiger could easily drive if he wanted to, but he doesn't see a point in driving when he can just teleport faster. Most of the time he's forced into getting lifts, usually by other members of the Major Circuit since all of them drive except for him.

Don drives an absolute hot-rod of a car, it's gorgeous, and spotless too. If you get a crumb in his car he will berate you and have no mercy. Even if he doesn't like having other people in his car, he's often the one giving lifts to the wonder that is..

Of course Aran can't drive. He's had his licence confiscated twice, but that doesn't stop him from finding a way to hop behind the wheel anyway.. just don't hop behind the wheel with him because you will either break something or die.

Soda can drive, but he doesn't do it often. He actually has a motorbike as well as a car, but he's not one to give lifts so nobody really knows.. benefits, nobody can recognise you under a motorbike helmet!

Bull has a licence and a pretty decent car but he's on thin ice with the forces, he's definitely one to road rage and he's done quite a few undesirable things behind the wheel. Including slamming his head against the horn and making the airbag go off in the middle of a road-trip.

Macho has a licence, but it's not like he uses it. Some poor minimum-wage guy either drives him around in a limo or flies him around in a helicopter or some fancy private jet. True douchebag.

Sandman is a perfect driver. Perfect car, perfect record, perfect perfect. He refuses most of the time to give people lifts because he absolutely does not trust the other idiots to respect his property, but some people may get special treatment if he's in the right mood.

[battleangel]

THE PLANET WILL DIE BY 2100!

THE PLANET IS DYING!

THE EARTH WILL DIE IN 100 YEARS!

100+ STUDIES PREDICT EARTH WILL BE UNINHABITABLE BY 2100!

Extreme weather never seen before — droughts, heat waves, back to back fire warnings than freeze warnings, 40+ degree temperature changes in one day, earthquakes & tornadoes in areas that never previously had them — signal the literal destruction of planet earth.

The sky is ACTUALLY falling!

•Do not have any children.

•Do not buy a house — live in a 1 bedroom apartment.

•Stop using air conditioning — use electric ceiling or box fan & open window.

•Keep thermostat for heat between 62 degrees & 68 degrees during winter.

•Work remotely if you can — W-2, contract, temp, part-time, freelance, fractional, start your own business — avoid working on-site & in an office that would require a daily commute.

•Only drive when absolutely necessary — walk, take the bus or stay home — should only be purchasing gas for car a few times a year at most.

•Do NOT buy an electric vehicle or hybrid vehicle & do not use air taxis. •Cobalt is only available in Congo & is causing a genocide as local warlords kill each other & local civilians over the mineral that Apple, Tesla, Google, Samsung, etc. pays outrageous amounts for — men, women & children work in the Congolese mines for 12 to 16+ hours a day with no protective gear & cobalt is an extremely toxic mineral.

•Stop buying new cell phones — buy refurbished or used cell phones every 3 to 5+ years — cobalt is used for the batteries for all cell phones & is currently causing a genocide in Congo.

•Stop buying new electronic devices — laptops, tablets, TVs, smart watches.

•Cobalt is used for the batteries for all cell phones & is currently causing a genocide in Congo.

•Stop taking vacations — do staycations instead.

•Do staycations — local county & state fairs, carnivals, farms, parks, gardens, movie marathons or sleepovers at home, nature trails, hiking, local museums.

•Stop flying in airplanes.

•Do not fly anywhere unless absolutely unavoidable.

•Do not go on cruises.

•Do not stay in hotels.

•Stay in motels, economic lodging, airbnb, vrbo or couch surf with locals.

•Minimize meat intake — stop eating meat Monday through Friday.

•No plastic water bottles.

•Buy water filter + use stainless steel water thermos.

•No showering or bathing.

•Wash at sink with face cloth & soap.

•Do not live in an apartment with a washing machine & dryer.

•Only do laundry at laundromat every 30 to 90+ days.

•Do not live in an apartment with a dishwasher — wash dishes by hands.

•Only do laundry at laundromat every 30 to 90+ days.

•Reduce single use plastic whenever possible.

•Six R’s: Refuse, repair, reduce, reuse, recycle.

•Delete Prime & Amazon account.

•Do not buy from Amazon.

• Borrow books from local library or purchase from local book stores or independent book stores online.

•Stop using fast fashion apps — Shein, Zaful, Romwe, Fashion Nova.

•Stop buying clothes at the mall, department stores & chains.

•Do not buy new clothes.

•Buy used clothes from online & in-person thrift shops — Depop, Mercari, Etsy, Poshmark, Goodwill & consignment stores.

•Reuse current outfits until they are unwearable — 25+ years.

•Only buy new shoes when current pair breaks down — every 10+ years.

•Stop using plastic sanitary pads & plastic tampon applicators — wear period underwear + biodegradable tampons without applicators or period cups or menstrual discs.

•Shave your head yourself with a razor at home every 1 to 3 months — stop going to hair salons & barbershops — do not use any hair products (shampoo, conditioner, oil, gel, spray, etc.) — do not dye hair — do not color gray hairs.

•Wear wigs for 3 to 5+ years before replacing.

•Be frugal & minimize consumerism.

•Do not purchase anything online more than 1 to 3 times a year.

•Do not buy gifts for anyone.

•Advocate for antinatalism — the belief that procreation is immoral & unjust.

•Advocate for the voluntary extinction of the human race both online & in-person.

•Minimize fast food, delivery, takeout & sit down restaurants to a few times a year.

•Do not use KCups & minimize buying coffee at Dunkin Donuts, QuickChek, Wawa, Starbucks or any chain.

•Brew coffee at home with reusable pod.

•Avoid big box retail & chains.

•Shop local grocers, food markets & mom & pop small businesses.

Make these changes because of climate change.

Make the change to save our dying planet!

Make that change!

[satinelibra]

When most everyone left the offices and Mr. Doherty pulled her into his office, there was no work to do.  It would be nothing like last time.  He grabbed her, slamming his lips to hers, kissing her for the first time.

She whimpered and tried to push him off, but he just wrapped his arms around her and manhandled her against his desk, feeling her body over her clothes.  When he pulled away from her lips, she pushed her fists into his chest and pushed him off as much as she could.  “Stop!  I don’t want to do this!”

He chuckled, “You don’t have a choice.  You don’t want me to fire your dad, do you?”

“Well, if you do, I’ll go to the police,” she whimpered.

He growled at her, slamming her back against the top of his desk.  He laughed darkly, “Like they would believe you were telling the truth.  They’d think it was a scheme you and your father came up with to get back at me for dismissing him.”

She tried to school her features, and hide her fear.

“I could also frame him for embezzlement,” he added maliciously.  “Then he’d go to prison, and never get another job again.  Unless…”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, but couldn’t respond before he was on her again.  He reached into the collar of her blouse and literally ripped it apart, revealing her bra-clad breasts as she squirmed in his hold.

“You are mine,” he snarled at her, pulling off her shirt and bra and tossing them onto the floor without care.  He clamped his hands around her breasts and squeezed them, “These are mine.”  He yanked her up so she was sitting and latched his lips over her nipples before pushing her back down.

“Just lie there and take it,” he growled as he shoved her skirt up and skimmed his fingers through her folds after licking them.  He shoved them inside her until she was pouring over his hand, and then he plunged his cock into her.

She yelped at the suddenness of all his actions, arching her chin up so she was looking behind her, anywhere but him.  Her body jostled back and forth on the desk.  She could feel her breasts jiggling up and down.  She could hear him groaning and muttering filthy things above her while he manhandled her legs apart.

“Moan for me,” he barked behind her.

She couldn’t deny the legitimacy of her moans as she let them out.  “Uh, uh, ah, ah, oh!”

He grunted behind her, chuckling at her noises.  “Knew you would love cock in your cunt.  Knew you would be such a good fucking slut.”

After he finished his sentence, he roughly yanked out of her and pushed her to fully bend over the desk.  She heard fabric hit the floor and then he was propping his foot on the desk and plunging back into her.  He yanked the clip out of her hair, letting it cascade down her shoulders and back as he fucked her into the desk.

“So fucking tight on my dick,” he cursed.  “You have the perfect cunt for fucking.”

She mewled as he wrapped his hands in her hair and pulled her head back, pounding into her with animal-like grunts.

When she came – against her desires – she did it silently.  She knew he was still aware of it, as her pussy collapsed in on his cock as he fucked her.  But at least she didn’t make a noise other than some muffled whining.

When he came, he slammed into her and shot off ropes of sticky cum deep into her.  He groaned as he continued cumming in her as he slid his cock out until just the tip was splattering semen into her hole.

She let tears fall out of her eyes, sniffling as his limp cock fell out of her pussy and he pulled away from. 

“Get cleaned up and get dressed.  I’m calling you a car to take you home tonight.  I’ve got plans.”