#and it makes me really upset but i don't know how to get help for this? i know it's not good or healthy

[devildomditzy]

“I can’t believe ya”

“I said I was sorry!”, you plead, running after your boyfriend as he angrily stomps away from you, not even feigning a glimpse at you.

“I don’t wanna hear your excuses!”, Mammon exclaims, hurt written clear across his face. “Outta all people, I trusted ya! And look where that got me!”

“Mammon, please listen!”

“No! How could ya!”

“How could ya spill your drink all over the floor of my Demonio!”

You try just so, so very hard to hide your giggles, but how could you? Out of everything you’ve both been through, this is what he decides to get upset about?

“Mammon, it’s not that bad, really”, you try to reason, but the look on his face is getting severely more annoyed by the second, him recognizing your weak attempts at stifling your laughter.

“Not that bad? Not that bad?! Those are luxury carpets! I paid good money to have those installed!”

“And I paid good money for that milkshake…I’m disappointed I dropped it too…” and…

you can’t help it, you make a small honk, just teenie tiny squeak.

“You’re not sorry at all!”, he throws his hands up above his head. “You think this is funny, huh? Sure, it’s real funny, MC. You destroyed your first man’s pristine ride, hilarious!”

And oh Diavolo, he’s really, actually mad isn’t he?

And oh Diavolo, you can’t stop cackling can you?

“I-it’s just a stain Mammon! I’ll clean it! Gosh, you’re so worked up!”

“Clean it?! Or, you’re gonna do more than clean it! You’re gonna make sure my car is spotless, you little heathen!”

“Hey! No fair, I stained your carpet, not ruined your paint job!”

“And if it wasn’t for your butter fingers, my baby would still look just as good as the day I got her!”, he points his finger at you accusingly, crossing his arms after and huffing.

You both garner weird stares from the other residents of the House of Lamentation as you enter still arguing, with Mammon choosing to park outside the front door instead of his garage/loft hybrid. You pay no mind and continue your bickering as you both begin to walk towards his room.

"Ya gonna pay me back double- no, triple! Triple the cost of the cleanin' fee!"

"What! No way! I can't believe you would even suggest...", your voice fades away from the other's earshots the further into the house you get.

They exchange puzzling glances between themselves.

"What do you think that was about? A lover's quarrel?", Asmo asks, an indescribable sparkle in his eyes.

"Don't know, don't care. But, its best to leave them to it", Satan replies with a small shake of his head and a sigh, mumbling under his breath, "Two halves of a whole idiot."

[certifiedsexed]

hi so i was hoping for like a gut check on this because maybe it's weird and if it is i want to stop.

so im trans and autistic, and because of that im a little behind on understanding masturbation and my body. ive been trying to read up on it and im trying to learn how to masturbate. one of my friends and i were talking about it, and he asked to see some of the webpages i was looking at (shoutout to you and planned parenthood). but we were looking through them and one of the links went to scarleteen.

and he said it was weird and kind of perverted because im an adult (24) and thats for teenagers. i said that i thought it was okay because its not like im interacting with teenagers and theyre pretty good for teaching me i thought because i like the clear writing and the easier words and also its just a webpage. but the more i think about it the more freaked out i get. like scarleteens one of them and also teen vogue and some other ones because those are just what come up a lot of the time for learning more.

so what do you think? is it bad? because my friend and i ended up not sure. but if its bad i'll stop i dont want to hurt anyone.

Hello! Let me see if I can help.

So, there's nothing wrong with using resources designed for children when you're an adult, for the most part.

You're not taking resources from children or even interacting with children [though that's not even necessarily an immediate issue, depending on the situation], you're just using an accessible website with a lot of information on things you might've missed.

It can be very hard to find websites with accessible language, especially when you're new to a subject and there should be no shame in using something designed for people younger than you if it's helpful and its not hurting anyone.

I don't quite understand where your friend is coming from, to be honest. Using "perverted" and "weird", both harsh terms for something harmless, to describe this doesn't really make sense to me.

But I understand that it's upset you, understandably! So let me be clear:

No, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Using Scarleteen and websites like Teen Vogue are both perfectly fine, regardless of your age. They're targeted towards children, but children aren't the only ones who can use them.

It absolutely hurts no one for you to read their articles and learn. In fact, it's a good thing you're learning from these websites and showing them to other people you know. That only helps websites like that.

It's not bad in the least, Anon. I'd encourage you to keep using them, especially if they're helping you learn easily. That's literally awesome! [I'm honored to be among those you're learning from! <3]

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[callum-23]

just discovered ur acc, who's ur fav character? (and yeah, this is me asking for u to rant abt ur fav)

L A N C E !!!

Lance is my favourite!! For many reasons, but mostly because I relate to him on a lot of levels, mainly with

- self recognition issues, aka what happened when Lance doubted his skills as a paladin, and was thinking about stepping down.

I struggle with this, mostly as an artist, as I've seen my friends, and other people I know in life, have better skills, and most of the times doubting myself about my artist skills 😔 But I've gotten better at just focusing on my own art and in turn I felt like it helped me get better!!

- value in relationships, platonic, family, romantic even. I love how he values his relationships with the other paladins, about how he's always willing to take steps for others, comforting his friends, and always willing to step up as a person, even though he's cocky and can be full of himself (mostly in the earlier seasons) he's got a heart of gold underneath all that!!

Lance tends to put up this persona of himself being a "ladies man," the cocky flirt even. But there's so much more to his character than just that, he's not just the love interest, he tends to be the emotional support of others, a hard worker, he's also a pretty good well rounded character, he has his own flaws and insecurites, which help him become a better paladin throughout the show. Honestly, though, later, seasons mainly treat him as the "love interest," and I don't think that's really a way to describe him, as he's just SO much more than that!!

I love his dynamic with other characters, SO SO MUCH!

There's Hunk and Lance. They're basically best friends!! Best friends since the garrison, I love their moments together, even though it's not much, and mostly joking and small banter, but in the end they're really close friends who've always got eachothers backs, and knowing how close they are, makes them a really good team. They show their best values and bring out the best in each other!!

There's Pidge and Lance, who are more like a brother/sister duo, with Lance being like a second brother to Pidge. A moment that really stood out to me was Pidge dragging Lance along to help her find enough GAC to purchase a video game from the space mall, I love how Lance just simply went along with it, spending time with her as if she was his own sister, and in return, Pidge traded away a video game so that Allura could get a dress for her date with Lance, as Pidge knew how much this meant to him, even though she was reluctant at first!

Coran and Lance, having a father-son bond, similar to Shiro, being the guide for the paladins, acting as a father figure (space dad)

And then there's Keith and Lance, Keith and Lance, the "rivals" who compete for Np reason, who grow to accept eachother. A good example of acceptance shown between their bond is when the Black Lion had chosen Keith as the paladin, while at first, Lance was jealous, he learned to realise and proceeded to comfort Keith about his new position, showing that yes its going to he difficult, but he says to Keith that he is the one for the job, and gives him a fond look, stating that even though no one can replace Shiro, Keith can lead the team, and that he'll always be there with Keith. (Kinda cute as Lance sorta becomes his right hand man!) And the fact that Lance trusts Keith enough to get some words before his date with Allura, Lance going to Keith of all people when he was unsure about his place as a paladin, Lance even comforting Keith, and helping him during missions, being by his side, the jokes, the playful name calling. Everything, I love their dynamic!!

I love Lance as a character, sure, I'm still SUPER upset on how his life is after the events of the series, but in short, Lance, Lance McClain is my favourite vld character.

Literally the best sharpshooter ever !! ⬆️

[creatingblackcharacters]

I don't tend to interact with people in general unless they initiate even if i want to, and that goes double with fandom spaces. I very easily miss and forget things, including attempts at bullying around or even toward me. Idk i usually only send asks via Anon, but this question thing is just. Really good. At first, i didn't feel like they applied to me much since i haven't really interacted with fandom spaces since i was 14 anyways and that when i did, i also remember confronting the racism i managed to notice.

But thinking more about it. I know there was a lot of racism i didn't notice or recognise or forgot about immediately and therefore didn't respond to and even if i don't see myself as part of 'fandom' that all definitely also applies to the real world!

My two best friends are mixed and have both told me they'd been called the n-word in fucking kindergarten. My dad's friend's wife who i like and care about a lot not only had to deal with moving from Uganda to a very different country and learn a new language only spoken here, but she and her kids must've dealt with so much anti-Blackness that i have no idea about. There's so many people i know, both friends and close acquaintances who constantly have to deal with something i have such a hard time to understand.

Some family members have the philosophy that saying bigoted shit when only family are around is ok. They think I'm being a spoilsport for getting upset about it even when that certain bigotry doesn't apply to me. It sometimes makes me think that maybe i am overreacting, but if i can't feel comfortable even having them around people who that bigotry would apply to. If i feel embarrassed for being related to people like that, then I'm not overreacting at all when i get upset and tell them to cut it out.

Not speaking out against it means I'm contributing to a terrible environment i know not only hurts people i care about deeply but also so many more. Bigotry in fandom might not seem as serious as in real life, but it reflects how those people are irl and helps normalise an environment where people feel comfortable to be bigoted. Black people not being able to escape anti-Blackness for a second even in fandom shouldn't be accepted as how things just are.

I apologise for the long incoherent rambling, weird wording and focus on myself i just. Asking those kind of questions and doing what you do is invaluable in so many ways. I really hope everyone that's seen your posts are able to apply it both in fandom and art as well as outside of it. Thank you, all your work does make a difference and I'm very happy that I'll be able to be a better friend and ally!

Indeed! Nothing I say here can't be generally applied to how you treat Black people in real life. The perspective holds; you don't consume media in a vacuum.

I sincerely hope you do become a better friend and ally 🙏🏾

[ch0wen]

Raise a Little Hell

Trevor x Fem!Reader Part 1 | Part 2 * - (in progress)

𓎙─۫──۪─𓎙

Trevor got home, drunk, and you were pissed off at him for it. You started an argument with him because lately, he's always out late and intoxicated when he gets home.

He started yelling at you back, pissed too that you're always bringing up him going out and, in his eyes, having fun.

"Seriously? You're bringing up me getting drunk when you're literally the one who gives me grief for being even a minute late getting back from work? Work, babe. I need a drink in me to handle your war paths." He groans as he puts a hand on his head and runs it down the front of his face, before snagging the freshly opened beer bottle off the side table and taking a swig.

"I made dinner, Trev," I sigh. Gesturing to the pans on the stove with the cold, burnt food caked inside. Feeling stupid standing in the kitchen in a floral patterned dress.

"Yeah, and? It's your job to make dinner. The food is cold at this point anyway," He scoffs and leans back against the wall. He didn't notice how upset you were. He was just being stubborn as always.

"No, it's not my job, you prick."

I toss the hastily untied apron onto the counter, before opening the fridge and getting my own beer. Cracking it open and taking a swig.

He glares at you, watching you drink the beer, "Oh really? Then what is it, huh? Housework?"

He says it sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. Pushing off the wall as he walks closer to you, clearly still drunk.

You scoff at his ignorant comment, but point your beer neck toward him, "Don't you come near me. I'm so fucking annoyed with you." Then tossing one of the pans into the sink. He grabs your arm and pulls you against him.

"What're you gonna do about it, princess?" He chuckles and looks down at you, smirking as he's clearly messing with you.

"You're drunk. Let go of me," you shrug him off and turn to start scrubbing at the pan. He wraps his arms around your waist and presses himself against your back, his chin on your shoulder as he watches you clean the pan.

"But I don't wanna..." He says it in a pouty tone, acting like a brat on purpose to get a reaction out of you.

You scrub at the pan as you let him hold on. Pausing to drink your beer with a heavy sigh as it's set back down. Dropping the sponge. And without turning around, you stare blankly at the backsplash that you helped him pick out last month, "Was Riley there?"

He groans when you bring up Riley. Not wanting to admit that he was at the bar with her. Knowing that it'll make you even more pissed at him.

"Yea, she was." He admits it quietly, while his grip on your waist tightens. Not wanting you to turn around.

"Of course she was," you mumble as you start scrubbing the pan again. He sighs, hearing the irritation in your voice.

"C'mon, don't be mad. It was just for fun." He tries to defend himself, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck and mumbling against your skin.

You huff, "How am I supposed to feel when you still hang out alone with the girl you used to fuck, Trev?"

He grits his teeth when you ask that. Clearly, he does not want to talk about it. "We're just friends. We've been over this." He mutters and tightens his grip even more. Now just holding you possessively.

"Yeah, I know. But you never have us hang out all together anymore," you rinse the pan, wash your hands, and let them fall to the edge of the countertop; Clenching tightly.

"Because you always act like this when she's around," He mutters. Moving his hands to grip your hips instead. Spinning you around so you're facing him now. He leans against the counter, trapping you between him and it. Looking down at you with a slight glare. You look into his blue eyes and just feel the anger and resentment. There's something dark about the way he looks at you now. You don't know when things started going downward. But he just started to shift away emotionally and it's severely affecting your relationship,

"She is just so handsy when she drinks and you just let her." You frown at him as he rolls his eyes at that. Not seeing the problem with it, sighs, his grip on your hips tightening a bit more.

"She's just a touchy person when she's drunk. That's all. It's not like she's doing anything to me," He mutters. His tone is dismissive, as if your feelings didn't matter in this situation.

"I just," you sigh. Feeling like you're not going to get through to him. You know the routine - He drinks, you bicker, you either fight or fuck, he forgets, he's super apologetic like a dog with its tail between its legs the next day, he drinks, repeat. "I mean, surely you could understand that I worry she doesn't know her limit when she's alone with you."

He sighs again. Growing annoyed at your concerns and how much you're worrying about something that he sees as insignificant.

"Babe," He groans and moves one of his hands to your chin. Tilting your head up to look at him. His expression was stern as he looked down at you. His grip on your chin is almost tight enough to bruise. "Stop worrying so much. Nothing is going to happen between me and her, I promise."

"Okay," you wince and grab his wrist. Pulling his hand away from your face. "Jesus, fuck. I hate how aggressive you get when you drink."

He looks slightly annoyed that you pulled his hand away. His grip on your hip tightened to a point where it was almost painful. "Then why do you keep pissing me off?" He grumbles, not really meaning it, but still being antagonistic from the alcohol in his system.

"I don't know, Trev!?" You give a firm but not harsh shove, as you move away from the counter. Not liking him cornering you like that. You scoop up your beer and walk through his studio apartment into the living room and onto the leather couch. "I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

He follows you, "What do you mean you don't know me anymore?" His tone is cold as he sits beside you, leaving a bit of space between.

"You-...you came home late one night a few weeks ago and you've just seemed off ever since," you furrow your brow as you gaze out of focus into the apartment. Trying to remember what may have happened to cause this change in him. He raises an eyebrow at that. A look of irritation on his face as he tries to also remember what you're talking about. He leans back against the couch and crosses his arms, his mind racing.

He finally speaks, "I've been off because you keep pestering me about stupid shit like work and what time I get home. That's why I seem 'off'."

"No. No, Trevor. That's not just it. You came back on edge that night. Like you did something bad and wrong. And I always thought you were seeing someone. Maybe Riley again. And you've just been distant..."

As you sip your beer with a sigh, Trevor clenched his jaw. He wasn't expecting you to bring that up again. He looks at you, his expression closed off as he processes what you say. He was silent for a moment before speaking again. His tone was cold and emotionless, "And you're accusing me of cheating on you again, huh?"

"Because I feel like I don't know you," You repeat. Slapping your hand to your side as you turn to him. Taking in his lack of expression. A dim light of the man you actually fell in love with. His handsome defined features are now stony. "You have been pushing me away."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes again, clearly not believing you. "I'm pushing you away because you're constantly accusing me of cheating on you, and it's pissing me off, princess." The nickname he uses sounds almost like an insult now. He clenches his jaw again, and you wonder if it could unhinge if he does that too often. The irritation is clear on his face as he runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Because you're never around?! And when you are, you're drunk! It's like you need to be away from me or under the influence when you're around." You huff, as you sneer over at him. Angry at yourself that your features are betraying you as they brim your eyes with tears.

He groans when he sees you getting teary-eyed. He hates when you cry, especially when it's because of him. "Oh, so I'm a bad boyfriend because I need a few drinks every now and then? You're so damn sensitive." Not wanting to admit that he does have a drinking problem and that it is starting to affect his relationship with you.

You shake your head and finish the beer. Getting up to retrieve another. "Happy Anniversary, Trev."

He watches you walk into the kitchen, "Ah yeah, forgot that was today," he says sarcastically.

You keep the fridge open, as you hide behind the door from Trevor. Letting some angry tears fall. Wiping at them harshly as you snag another beer bottle. "You're just further proving my point." You mumble, before letting the fridge door slam shut.

"And what point would that be, hm?" He grunts as he rises from the couch and stalks into the kitchen, stopping behind you to lean against the counter. "That I'm a bad boyfriend? Because I'm fully aware of that, sweetheart."

"Yes. Exactly. Something happened to you three weeks ago and you've been a really shitty boyfriend ever since," you snap, angrily facing him.

He raises an eyebrow before glaring down at you, "You really think I'm a shitty boyfriend because of a single night where I came home late?" Despite the night having affected him more than he wanted to admit, he feigns ignorance.

"No! That night changed you into becoming a shitty person," you shout, growing frustrated.

He steps closer, getting in your face and towering over you. "Watch your tone, princess." He growls. His expression turned into a scowl.

"No." You outstretch your arm to keep him at a distance. Manicured fingertips barely touching his toned chest, "You don't get to intimidate me. I'm done with this fucking toxic cycle!"

He grabs your wrist, his grip tight. He pulls you closer to him, leaving no space between your bodies. "Oh yeah? What're you going to do about it?" He asks in a challenging tone. Looking down at you with a smirk, enjoying this a bit too much.

You look up at him in terror before instinctively slamming the beer bottle onto the counter. Holding the jagged end toward him as you back up, "I'm done with the fighting and the aggressive sex. The darkness you bring with you into a room. You have been nothing but a storm cloud in your own life. You don't go to work, you just drink. You avoid. You destroy."

He looks at the broken bottle in your hand, eyes widening slightly at the action, before returning to their fixed cold glare on you. "Oh yeah? Well, maybe you should've thought of that before falling in love with me, huh?" His tone was almost cruel as he held his gaze. Not intimidated at all by you or the broken glass.

You feel your back hit the wall as you whimper slightly. Yet, you keep your stare hardened and determined. Sick of the emotional abuse that you've been suffering through for the past few weeks. Knowing in your gut something happened to your once loving boyfriend that fateful night.

"I loved your old self. The Trevor I fell in love with would've never made me question that he would've ever laid a hand on me. Unlike the version of you standing in front of me now." My hand holding the bottle was shaking.

Trevor notices the shaking hand, a bit of amusement in his eyes, as he steps closer again. Closing the distance between you. He places a hand on the wall next to your head, trapping you against the wall with his body.

"Oh really?" He asks in a mocking tone, a smirk gracing his lips. "You're sure you still love the old me? Not even the version of me that you see now?"

You shake your head, "No. Because I'm not sure there's an ounce of him left in you. You have been so abusive. I don't even feel loved by you anymore," your lip is uncontrollably wobbling. "We don't make love as much as we used to. It's all aggressive and hard and punishing. You hit, and scratch, and I claw to get away from you."

Trevor raises an eyebrow at your words. His smirk widens slightly as he looks at you with a mix of disbelief and amusement. He leans in close to your ear, his voice low and mocking as he speaks, "Oh? And who's fault is that? Who's the one who gets me drunk and then expects me to not be a little rough with you?"

"I don't want you drinking!? You've just used it to cope or numb something. Baby, I want to help you. But you have to help me. This isn't you." You try fighting the tears, but they trickle down as you plead to him.

He scoffs at your words. Moving his face away from your ear and looks down at you with a cold expression. "Help me? Help me with what? You can't help me, princess. No one can."

His tone is harsh and dismissive as if he truly believed that there was nothing that could be done to fix him or the mess he's in.

"But there is something that happened?! I can try." you whimper. "Please baby, just talk to me."

You place a shaking hand on his cheek. His expression softened slightly. He stays silent for a moment. Debating whether or not to tell you what happened that night, three weeks ago.

He sighs, the fight leaving his body as he leans into your touch. The coldness in his eyes fades as he looks at you.

"Please, Trevy," you whisper. A thumb caressing his skin.

He sighs again and closes his eyes. The nickname causes a pang of guilt to go through his chest. He was still a little drunk, but the softness in your touch and the tone of your voice was making him vulnerable again. Something that he recently hated being. But, he knows deep within his soul that he should be taking care of you.

He leans into your touch more, his head dropping down onto your shoulder as he buries his face into the crook of your neck. Silent; he just rests there.

"Okay, maybe not tonight. Maybe let's go to bed, yeah?" You whisper. Your hand moves to card through his hair. Feeling your heart clench as he finally shows you a minuscule glimpse of a gentle reaction.

He lets out a shaky exhale against your neck as your fingers move. The sensation was soothing him in a way that he didn't know he needed. He stays like that for a moment, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you close to him as he clings to you like a lifeline.

"I love you so much, Trevor. I want to be there for you. I'm here for you." Your hands continue to gently scrape at his scalp. Feeling him slacken into your touch. You push off the wall and slumped over, now cuddly man toward his bed.

He allows you to guide him. You sit him on the bed and help him remove his pants and shirt. You catch the tired smirk on his lips, while his eyes remain closed. Only catching them peeking open as he sleepily watches you move around the room while taking care of him. He lets you help him lie down, and you place a garbage can by his side of the bed.

"Bedtime, baby. We'll talk tomorrow."

He grabs your wrist as you try to pull away, "Stay with me." He mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper as he tugs you down onto the bed with him. You oblige as you let him pull you. Having changed into one of his t-shirts while puttering about the apartment.

You curl into him and appreciate the warmth his body provides. You bury your face in his chest and let out a deep sigh. He immediately wraps his arms around you. Pulling you flush against his chest and holding you close to him. Burying his face in your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo, and letting it calm him further. He's silent for a moment before speaking again, his voice still quiet and hoarse,

"I'm sorry."

"I know," I hum, as I press a soft kiss to his chest.

He shivers slightly. Arms tightening around you like you're the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely.

𓎙─۫──۪─𓎙

Eventually, you feel Trevor's breathing even out. You roll over in his arms, and he unconsciously pulls you closer, staring out into the dark apartment. Wide awake after the events of tonight.

The darkness plays tricks with the shadowy furniture, as you glance around the room. Your mind races as the overthinking kicks in. What did he do three weeks ago? What happened to him? He came back almost the exact way he's been acting now. Just so much more aggressive, all softness scrubbed out of his body. This is the first time in a long time that you feel like you actually cracked him a bit.

His face is buried in your neck again, breathing steady and soft. Your eyes flick to his phone lighting up in his jeans pocket. Illuminating the section of the room like a spotlight. You hesitate but then move carefully to get up.

Trevor lets out a small noise of disapproval when you move, his arms searching for you in his sleep and finding nothing. He grumbles as he rolls over onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillow and remaining fast asleep.

You breathe a sigh of relief when he stops fussing and take out his phone. Lowering the screen brightness before seeing the message. From Riley, asking him if he made it home safely.

You worry at your lip before unlocking the phone and texting her.

'Yes. But it's Diana. I'm concerned about him. Can we talk?'

The phone buzzes with a response almost immediately, 'sure. we can talk now if you want.' And she asks if you're able to talk privately.

'Ye can we meet at that 24/7 diner at the corner of ferry street??' You start pulling on a pair of Trevor's sweatpants and zip-up as you wait for her response.

Riley texts back a 'sure thing,' and tells you she'll meet you there in a few minutes. Quickly, you put Trevor's phone back and slip a pair of boots on before quietly leaving the apartment. Heading out of the complex, and over a few blocks to the diner.

𓎙─۫──۪─𓎙

You arrive at the diner, noticing the back of Riley's curly hair sitting in the booth in the corner. This place is mostly empty. She waves you over when she sees you walk in, you spare a glance at the clock on the wall and note that it's almost 4am.

Her expression is filled with concern as she watches you approach.

"Hi Riley," you smile softly, before sitting down opposite her in the booth. Taking in how tired she looked. "I'm sorry for keeping you up."

She waves her hand dismissively, her eyes studying you closely as she takes in your appearance. "Don't worry about it, Diana. I was awake anyway."

She lets out a small sigh and leans back in her seat, a tired look in her eyes, "so, what's up with Trevor?"

You fiddle with your fingers nervously on the table, "Y-you're his friend. Have you noticed he's been acting different?"

Riley nods in agreement, "Yeah you're not the only one who has noticed that. He's been really different. I've tried talking to him about it, but he just shuts me down and changes the subject every time."

You worry at your lip and then look at her, "Was he with you? Three weeks ago?"

Riley looks at you for a moment, her eyes widening slightly as she realizes what you're asking. She hesitates for a moment, clearly conflicted about whether or not to tell you the truth. She lets out a sigh and nods slowly.

Your brow furrows as you feel your heart drop. Eyes falling to your hands and sliding them off the table, "Yeah, he was with me three weeks ago."

"Were you guys like...sleeping together?"

Riley's eyes comically widen even more at your question. She quickly shakes her head, a look of horror on her face. "No! God, no. We weren't sleeping together." She says firmly. Clearly taken aback by the suggestion.

Your eyes dart up and you sit back in your seat. "Oh! Oh. I'm so sorry, I just know you guys have a history and I've only just started being really paranoid."

You shake your head, but Riley lets out a soft sigh as she releases a bit. Understanding where you were coming from.

"I get why you would've thought that though. But we're friends. Nothing more, I swear."

"Thanks. I believe you," you nod. "What were you guys doing that night then?"

Riley looks down at the table for a moment, hesitating again before answering.

"He was having a rough night. And I let him stay over at my place for a while to get his mind off of things." She says, keeping her answer vague. Not wanting to tell you the details of that night.

"Did he tell you what happened? Please, he won't tell me anything. But I feel like he came home almost possessed that night and just hasn't been the same since." Desperation and worry lacing your words.

Riley sighs again, her expression filled with sympathy as she sees the desperation in your eyes, "He was, really messed up that night. I tried talking to him about it but he didn't tell me anything. All he said was that he did something stupid."

She pauses for a moment, debating whether or not to continue. You look to her, silently pleading that she does.

"He was just so full of guilt and regret when he showed up at my place. I've never seen him like that before. He wouldn't even look me in the eyes. It was like he couldn't bear to face me."

"Did he say why?" You ask breathlessly. "I'm sorry, I just want to understand so I can know if I can help him in any way."

Riley shakes her head, messy curls bouncing. A look of frustration on her face, "He didn't give me details. He just kept saying 'I did something terrible' and 'I don't deserve her.'"

Her expression softens slightly, "He really loves you, you know..."

Your lip wobbles, feeling like you've hit a dead end. Nodding halfheartedly, "I just don't get it."

"I know it's hard."

"I mean," you sigh. "I think deep down that he wouldn't cheat. At least the Trevor I knew for a good chunk of our relationship wouldn't. And if that's the Trevor that went out that night, then how awful was the circumstance that he put himself into?"

Riley squeezes your hand reassuringly, her eyes filled with understanding. "I know you trust him. And I know he wouldn't cheat. But whatever he did that night, it really messed him up. I've never seen him so self-destructive before."

You can't help your worried tears as you hastily wipe them away with the sleeve of the hoodie. Breathing in his familiar cologne. "Did he like, mention anything else that may have not made sense? Like he didn't hint at anything he got himself into?"

Riley shakes her head again, "He didn't say anything else. Just drank himself stupid and cried. Pretty closed off. Ok, well, I guess he did say one more thing though..."

You peek up with piqued interest. Riley's expression grows serious, "he mentioned a 'lament' and that he didn't deserve you. That he was a monster for what he's done and you should hate him."

"What?" Riley nods slowly. Eyes locked in on yours as she sees the shock and disbelief. Your brows furrow again, as your mind spirals. Lament? And if not cheating then what else?

Riley watches as your mind clearly starts racing. A look of worry on her face as she could practically see the gears turning.

"Don't. Don't over think it, Diana," She says softly, gently squeezing your hand again.

"I don't think that's possible. I worry so much for him."

"I know you do. But you're not going to figure out what happened by stressing yourself out. It's not good for you."

You nod and almost ignore her concern as you ask your follow-up question, "What do you guys talk about when you're together?"

Riley raises an eyebrow at the question, caught off guard by it, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, again, I trust and know that there's nothing funny going on between you guys. You're friends. Always shooting the shit and catching each other up on life, from what I've seen. What have you guys been chatting about lately? Any plans? Did he talk about anything in the past few weeks before that night?"

Riley's question becomes more thoughtful as she processes the question, "Well, we haven't really been talking much recently. Things have been a bit tense between us since that night. He kind of sulks and drinks and keeps me as a drinking buddy. But I think around the time of the incident, he mentioned going out to meet up with some old friends."

"Anything else?"

"We didn't really talk for long. He seemed distracted the whole time. And I didn't want to pry or make him uncomfortable."

You squeeze her hand and smile at her gratefully, "Okay. Ok, thank you for sitting through my interrogation," you tease.

Riley chuckles and rolls her eyes, "It wasn't one! I understand why you're asking, you know. I'd probably be just as confused and worried if I were in your positon right now."

"Thank you. It just isn't sitting right with me," I release her hand and look at the clock. "I've kept you. You need some sleep, I bet."

Riley looks to the clock and realizes how late it is. "Yeah, you're probably right. I have work in the morning." She looks back to you concerned, "Are you gonna be okay, Diana?"

"I will be once he is, probably." You admit, "But, I wanted to say I'm sorry if I ever have been bitchy to you or have come off cold when we have all hung out. I really appreciate you being in his life, and I genuinely hope to get to know you more." You smile softly.

Riley's heart warms at your sincerity. "It's okay, I get it. And there's no need to apologize. I know you're going through a lot right now. And I would like to get a beer with you guys, we'll need to figure out a time when you're not in the mood to kick my ass for hanging out with your boyfriend."

"No, I trust your word. There will be no skepticism seeping from me again," you promise with a bigger smile. "But just no hands on the upper thighs. Everywhere else, above the belt, is at the legal limit," you tease.

Riley bursts out laughing at your comment. A light blush crept on her cheeks, "I promise I'll keep my hands to myself, don't worry." She says giggling a bit.

"We all get that way when drinking, I don't blame you, girl." You giggle a bit and feel a wave of comfort and happiness wash over you - Having the feeling of being shut into a dark corner for some time in these past few weeks.

Riley smiles warmly, feeling a sense of camaraderie between you. "Exactly, and I know I can be a bit touchy when I'm drunk...But I can't help it. Trevor is just so touchable, ya know?"

You smirk, "He really is! He works that body to perfection. Hard not to poke at those muscles."

Riley nods, "Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible not to want to touch those muscles. They're so defined, I could just drool over them for hours."

You laugh and nudge her playfully, "Alright, relax!"

"I'm just being honest! Haven't you seen the way he looks without the shirt on?"

You smirk to yourself. Nibbling on your lip a little as you think of all the times you've walked into his apartment after he's worked out, or got out of the shower, in the shower with him, on top of him, underneath him. He had an amazing physique that can be appreciated by all. But you get to see and feel it at all of his most intimate angles. And while Riley may share similar experiences with you, you can feel in your gut that she is no threat.

Riley can't help but notice the way your eyes glaze over slightly as you think of Trevor. She smirks at the sight, clearly amused.

With your mind focused on Trevor, your lips falter as you begin to worry about him. Your mind falls back on how much he has shut down. You spare Riley a weak smile before lightly tapping the table, "Right. I'm gonna motor. We'll keep in touch, yeah? I'll snag your number from him. Good Night, Riley!"

Riley smiles softly as she notices your expression falter again, her playful demeanor lessening. "Yeah, of course. Get some rest, Diana. You look like you need it."

"You too. Stay safe and well." You bid her farewell as you leave the diner. Briskly walking back to Trevor's apartment complex and letting yourself in with your key.

𓎙─۫──۪─𓎙

The apartment is dark and quiet. The only sounds are the low hum of the air conditioning and soft snores coming from the bed. Trevor is still asleep.

You breathe shakily, grateful that he’s still asleep. And before you think better of it, you’re back on his phone. Scrolling through text messages. He only has a couple of group chats, and single chats to search through. He doesn’t really keep up conversations or talk to a whole lot of people.

You find a group chat that showed the last message was received the night things went to shit. It was a message confirming a meeting point.

The group chat seems to consist of a few unknown numbers. There are only a few messages in the chat. You scroll through the messages, looking for any clues or hints as to what he was doing that night.

An unknown number was texting about a burglary they were planning. - ‘Big score.’ - There was dropped a pin to an address. - Trevor confirmed he ‘was in.’ - Is this what they got up to that night? Was he a part of a robbery? Did he kill someone? Did someone do something to him? Instinctively, you look at his sleeping form.

Then your eyes flick back to stare at the text messages for a moment longer, your heart racing in your chest. You’re not sure what to think. The thought of Trevor being involved in a robbery is shocking and unnerving. And you can’t help but notice the lack of details about what actually happened that night

As you look at his sleeping form, you feel a mix of emotions. You’re worried about him but also hurt and confused by his actions. You don’t want to believe that he would do something like this, but the evidence is right in front of you. But that still doesn't answer the glaring questions.

After a beat, you glance at the clock and a sigh of resignation, locking the phone. That’s enough detective work for the night, Nancy Drew, you mentally chide. You put his phone back and shed the boots, hoodie, and sweatpants, and crawl back into bed with Trevor.

Trevor stirs slightly, his eyes fluttering open just a bit.

“Babe…?” He mumbles sleepily, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

“Sorry, baby. I just got back from the bathroom. Didn’t mean to disturb you.” You whisper, kissing his arm as you settle in.

Trevor hums softly at the press of your lips to his arm, and his grip on you tightens slightly. He mumbles something incoherent, his eyes still half closed as he pulls you flush against his chest.

You let his breathing guide you into sleep. Comforted just knowing he’s here, providing you warmth and not pushing you away. You fall asleep for only a few hours but soak in the moments of tranquility. Ready to tackle this mystery tomorrow.

[sinfiltrate]

Act 3 spoilers

I just wanted to voice my opinions on the entirety of act 3, I will be making another post focusing on Jayce because I am disappointed with his story specifically.

Let's start with what I'm happy with!

The display of Mel's magic was amazing. All her scenes were so powerful.

CaitVi is canon! (which was predictable for obvious reasons but i'm still happy for them)

The music choice was perfect, as well as the quality of the episodes, as expected. No matter the storyline's flaws, the art style itself is undeniably gorgeous.

Maddie dies IMMEDIATELY after betraying Piltover, so I'm happy with that. Don't get me wrong, I think the season looked rushed, but the instant karma of that scene was enjoyable. It's well executed shock value.

The Caitlyn/Mel and Ambessa fight sequence was SICK. They really emphasized Ambessa's strength and battle IQ here, and while I dislike her, it was satisfying to watch.

The JayVik ending. Now, I am very conflicted with this, but I'll focus on the positive part. THIS MOMENT WAS SO TENDER!! It revealed how much Jayce truly loved and cared for Viktor, and that Viktor thought Jayce to be the only person who could ever make him acknowledge the importance of humanity. Jayce was his last and only hope, and Jayce proved Viktor right in every timeline.

Jayce defenders, we won. We got an entire episode dedicated to what Jayce and Ekko/Heimerdinger went through, and it proved that JAYCE WAS RIGHT AND HIM AND EKKO ARE OUR SAVIORS THANK YOU 🙏

Jayce looked fine asf. That is a beautiful man and I'm expecting many more edits (pretty please).

Alright, now let's get to what I'm upset about.

Jayce's wasted potential. The way I see it, they just reduced him to a pawn in Viktor's character arc, considering that his life begins and ends with Viktor. It's sweet, yes, and can be counted as a win for JayVik shippers, but I really wanted more for Jayce. And yes, I will most definitely come back to this on my Jayce-centric post.

The lack of reaction to Jinx's and Jayce's "death". I'm honestly not sure if either of them are dead (I am also somewhat in denial). Mel lost her lover, of whom brought out a softer side of herself that she didn't even know existed, and there's no reaction? Not even a scene of her finding out? The same goes for Caitlyn, since she literally saw Jayce as an older brother. Then there's Vi, who's seen completely fine with Caitlyn, and Ekko, who's having the only appropriate reaction, but even so, it's too calm. We'd have to assume that there's been another timeskip, but it couldn't have been long since the war. ALSO XIMENA, Jayce's MOTHER, she's seen putting a paper of Jayce's name to burn and honor him after his supposed death, but her expression is blank. Just simple resignation. I don't know, the lack of reaction had me questioning why I was sad.

No proper reunion scenes besides Ekko/Jinx and Mel/Jayce?????I actually liked Ekko and Jinx's reunion, but Mel and Jayce? Not even close to what I expected or wanted.

This season was rushed; that's something everyone can agree on. I think it was very focused on action rather than the complexity of these people's relationships and minds, while the first season had a balance between both. There just wasn't enough time for that balance with all the information they had to give us.

Honestly, and this is gonna sound horrible but hear me out, I would've preferred it if they had episode 6 be the last episode instead, and used the act 2 to explore Caitlyn's dictator arc and truly emphasize how long Jayce, Ekko, and Heimerdinger had been gone. I know how this sounds, but I really wanted to see more of Caitlyn and her mindset during the whole fascism plot rather than have her throw it all away three episodes later. It would've helped others understand her more, while also acknowledging how blinded she had become with anger and sadness. Also, this would've given more time for people to grow an attachment to Isha and see how she reminds Jinx of Powder!!! Just imagine it, the season closing with Jayce "killing" Viktor, no sign of Ekko or Heimerdinger, and Isha dying would have been even MORE devastating; the ultimate cliffhanger. There's no denying people would've been angry and shocked, but it would've made us want more, just like the first season did. I would be 100% willing to wait 3 or more years for the next season than have such an underwhelming ending.

Okay, I think that's it. Might add more to this post later if I come up with any other critiques, be prepared for the Jayce post because I NEED to talk about him.

[the-thieves-gambit]

"Didn't appreciate?" The words were repeated back to herself unsure of what was happening. "Who appreciates a stranger touching them at all?" He wasn't wrong, the touch had caught her off guard and left her a bit off her game the day before. It was something that she had shaken off with last night's rude awakenings. She wouldn't make that mistake again, she'd make sure he'd make it out alive, she wouldn't let her guard down and she wouldn't let him down.

The way he shook his head at her, upset her for a moment but she had to remind herself of everything she learned since arriving here. There was so much already going wrong for him, she needed to stop being one of the things fighting against him she was here to help. Despite calling him on his previous promise, guilt knotted in her. She hated this. As he moved she started to walk over to help him like she had last night only to find herself stopping in her tracks as he looked her over. Whenever anyone looked her up and down she knew how to play, how to move and place herself to make them like what they saw, but it felt different right now. She didn't know what he was thinking. Her breath caught in her throat awaiting what he had to say, only to find herself giving him a soft smile. "Thanks."

Rolling her eyes at the cinnamon sugar comment, like she could ever forget that he was allergic to that, she began to make her way to the door. "I think I saw some in the kitchen. Let me get one for you and a cup of coffee. And then we'll talk before I head out." Before he could say anything, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. It would give her time to think over how to say things nicely.

As the coffee brewed, she took the same ingredients from last night, minus the chocolate to make a muffin in a mug instead. Granted it would be a lot plainer than the chocolate one from last night, it would still be what he wanted. After the coffee and the muffin were ready she took a deep breath and headed up to talk to him. As much as she hated having to work with someone else, this was his case.

Had someone tried to save her from Jennifer as a kid, she would have hoped they had someone helping them to make sure it had happened. As much as she pretended to not care, she did. It was why she took on people's cases when they came to her at barely a payable wage. She kept the office floating with all her old aliases saved stashes for now. She was their last resort and knew that she needed to help however she could. Settling with her best friend had been the worst thing to happen to her.

"Look Wally," she said started as she made her way back into the room. Settling the mug of coffee and the muffin in a mug on the nightstand next to the bed she crossed he arms and said her piece. "I don't think you're taking this seriously. You're not taking me seriously. Not only can I handle myself I am really good at what I do. You have a kid and an agent out there and I am here to help. Now," She sat on the edge of the bed. "I am walking out there today and I am going to accidentally bump into Nolan, whether you like it or not. And I am going to do what I do best. What I know to do since I," was a kid, she stopped herself. "For a really long time. Now I need you to level with me and tell me what it is you need me to get from him to save this kid. Because as I see it the kid is priority one. If you tell me to not help in anyway, that I need to just 'enjoy myself' then I will leave. And I mean leave back to my office. If you don't let me help then what is the purpose of me being here, Wally? Why the hell ask me to come in the first place?"

Sighing, she stood up. "So, tell me. Am I packing my things and leaving or am I going out there to do what I know how to do? "

"Well, forgive me if I've misread it but didn't seem like it was just unexpected but more like a visceral reaction." At this point he was hopped up on pain meds that he could have read her coming home looking like she did wrong. "Almost like you didn't appreciate the foreign touch." Now he was speaking to his pillow as he rearranged it the proper way. Maybe she wasn't as closed off as she seemed to have him believe.

"No. There's no need. I just wanted the name." Wally was quick to shake his head. More like he needed that name. Things had just gotten complicated for him. Even more so than having that rookie out on the field fucking him up. Which he couldn"t help but think it was Karina's doing. He should have stayed home he began to think. "You're right. Take the day and explore. It is your vacation." Getting himself into trouble was one thing, bringing Elizabeth into it was another. Karina was still riding him over this mission that he needed time to let things cool off. The last thing he needed was to alert her to something else going wrong. As it was this report was going to have a lot redacted. He wasn't going to risk Karina knowing about Liz now that things had gotten a little out of hand with his injuries and a copycat.

As he shifted to his side he kept from screaming out in pain. This was when he finally looked up at her. The dress she had on made him stop and stare a little too long. She looked ethereal. Emerald hues sparkled as they looked at her in the dress. Well, her in general. He was quiet for a moment, smile he gave her was small yet gentle. "You look nice."

"Mm no thank you." he shook his head. Frustration was clear on his features as he still couldn't lift his left arm but he'd manage. At least this time it wasn't his spine. "If I can shuffle my way around I'll review some documents while you're out and about. If I remember the password that is. Enjoy your day, truly." He tried sounding as sincere as possible, actually wanting her to do what she was promised she would get to do. "If you don't mind, could you bring me back a muffin. Not blueberry and not anything with cinnamon sugar. I'll pay you back for it." He needed time to think and force himself to move through the pain. He could not go back looking like this. Karina would for sure pull him off with one of her bullshit reasons.

[lilacerull0]

i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this

[numberoneanika]

Honestly the roleplay blogs are stronger than I am because if I saw a post where people were saying my blog was annoying and calling me corny I would jump in a large pit and rot away

[mushyposts]

TUMBLR PLEAAASE LET ME POST THIS NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

OF COURSE!!! This is the sort of analysis I could honestly talk about for hours, and if you have ANY more thoughts on my fic, please please PLEASE dont be scared to message me and hash it out!! I absolutely love the chance to think critically and analytically about my work.

You are absolutely not projecting, and even if you were, that would be entirely valid!! Creativity exists as a vessel for us as humans to feel, and if my writing at all helps you process any feelings you have around the themes I explore in it then I think i have more then succeeded in my task as a writer! : D

I also think that as a writer, I can put as much intent as I physically can into my writing. I can spend hours working to make sure a certain theme is perceived the specific way I want it to be, but if someone takes it a different way then I cant change that! I can take it as it is, and from there move and try to approach the theme in a different way, but people all have different live experiences that will make them see what i write differently. My experiences with parental figures, their presence, lack of, and their affection towards me will always be different to yours for example, and that means you will see how I write the parental dynamics in my writing different to how I do! Does that make sense?

Okay onto the actual analysis LMAO!! I think that people get caught up in this idea of "The choice was made for the greater good, so he should be absolved." and although yes, there is merit to understanding Hakoda didn't want to leave and was doing what he thought was the best choice for his kids and the future of his tribe its also SUPER important to understand that there were other ways.

A few things when considering the argument of Hakoda taking ALL the men, is firstly that we don't actually know how many people were in the "fleet" and there is some defence to the idea of them needing every working hand they can get, however I also think that alongside this argument is if Hakoda was doing this to protect his tribe it would have made sense to at LEAST leave enough men to defend them, or train Sokka and the other younger boys to have some form of defence.

I think the closest we get at seeing how many are in the fleet is pre-black sun, when they all meet up, and even then those numbers are skewed because of the involvement of other groups of people. EG: The swamp benders, the earthbenders and then the people who took residence at the northern airtemple. I do, however, personally believe that there should have been some men left behind to defend.

Another thing to consider is the canon timeline for when Kya dies and then when Hakoda leaves and then to canon actually is kind of inconsistent? We can assume Hakoda left around when Sokka was 13, but during the flashback of Kya's death along with the flashbacks in Bato of the water tribe where we see Hakoda leave, Sokka actually looks a lot younger. As far as I'm aware, as a show only watcher who doesnt actively intend on reading the comics, we dont really know how long the time between Kyas death and Hakoda leaving is. I even say at the start of my fic that I fucked with the canon timeline a bit to make it line up a bit better.

I think the show acknowledges Hakoda's abandonment and the complex ways thats hurt both Sokka and Katara in subtle ways. Katara very outwardly displaying her upset, albeit initially passive aggressively, she does eventually burst out, telling him "we needed you." and Hakoda apologises. Sokka is more internal, he obsesses over his ability to explain his plans, how he's perceived by his peers, an obsession with masculinity and what it means to be a man when you were never truly taught it in the first place.

I also think something that people tend to get mixed up with when it comes to critiquing Hakoda as a father, is they often equate being a bad dad, to being an abuser.

Hakoda, at least in my interpretations and I never intend for him to come off as so, isnt an abusive father. He is not a perfect father, he has made many choices that led to the long lasting hurt of his children. Speaking in the development of my own fic and how i've worked with Hakoda's character, he is an absent figure who was faced with an impossible choice and should have thought through it in more depth. He made a choice, and although its hard to fully say without a doubt he chose wrong, it had severely negative ramifications on the mental well being of his children.

Theres a lot to be said on the nuance of abuse, neglect, absent parental figures, especially fathers, and I don't want to speak TOO heavily on this because again, its such a nuanced and complex topic that I think I couldn't even begin to unwrap in tumblr reblogs. Theres some incredible fics out there exploring this with Hakoda and Sokka's dynamic, and I even have a one shot in the making all about this stuff in the canon universe seperate from my writing, but I just REALLY want to emphasise that I am so aware of how Zuko will come off to Sokka as a replacement.

I think in Zukka fics, or any fic with their dynamic, Sokka is often used as a tool for Zuko's healing, and his own trauma and negative experiences are put on the backburner in turn for Zuko's more outwardly present trauma. This is never something I want to do in my writing, I want to give a stage to each characters trauma, experiences and lives and try to show that things arent always as clean cut as they seem.

Hakoda abandoned Sokka and Katara. he left Sokka to be a man, without truly giving him the tools to do so.

Hakoda saved Zuko from death, and gave him a chance at life again.

These are two things that can exist at once, and the existence of one does not negate the other. People are a mess of good, bad, neutral, and its so hard to untangle it. Sometimes it doesnt even need to be untangled, sometimes you just need to hold the mess that people are and know it isnt a slight on you. You didnt cause the tangle, some tangles just are, yknow??

I also do personally believe in canon there are a lot of gaps that dont fully make sense in reference to Hakoda's character, and I think he honestly could have been executed a lot better in canon, so thats also something I like to consider whenever I am thinking too hard abt Hakodas character!!

I hope this made ANY sense at all. I usually have to sift through my writing like, a hundred times to get any kind of sense out of it, but truly this has been such a pleasure to write about!! : D Ur thoughts are so well written, and its incredible, as i said before, to see people picking up on the more nuanced things I'm trying to set up for future chapters!! it helps keep my steam for writing this honestly WAY bigger fic then I intended going!! : D I am MORE then happy to indulge!!!! If anything, this is indulging for ME! So thank YOU!!!

(Also, to answer ur tags, it isnt bad ur a bit mad at Hakoda!! He's flawed, thats okay! He's made mistakes just like anyone does. His just have more ramifications since he's the adult. I am a HUGE Hakoda stan and I do love him, but trying to work around canon and make him be a good father... A bit tricky!!)

I already put this on ao3 in a comment but you made me cry so you have to see it twice now. I know this entire story is Zuko-centric but I literally can't stop thinking about what this au means for Sokka.

Ok I just have to say I felt so heartbroken for Sokka here. All I could think about was how all of a sudden there's a boy in the place he's supposed to be. HE should be travelling with the men, HE should've been with them for the last three years, HE should be trusted enough with all this important stuff he should know if he is the next chief/acting chief.

He is being told this new kid has seen and done things the most skilled of warriors couldn't have done, like he is this almost untouchable standard Sokka can't reach. Then to be told he's taken Sokka's place in the tribe as Hakoda's and Batos' adopted child, teaching him how to be a man over the three years Sokka didn't even know his father, never a letter, never knowing when they would come home. Then being told by that same kid that he was only playing war. not to mention the piercings and jewellery he's adorned with.

Sokka has been the leader of the remnants of the Southern Water Tribe for three years, and due to the strict gender divides, had no one to teach him how to lead in the way a chief would. He has been the one hunting, defending, in charge of the future of their civilisation, the education of the children, which is really important in their culture. the memories of his father would be so twisted to the memories Hadoka has of Sokka. Sokka, in the months before he left, lost his mother, protecting his little sister. he then saw his father fall deep into depression, becoming very detached, and from what is described, angry and violent, not towards him, but that his still scary behaviour to witness. Then, his father left, and he was told he couldn't come, and that he was in charge of the village. Even though it was probably to boost his ego at the time more than anything, the impact on Sokka in that moment, combined into quite literally what his job becoming.

Just imagine when he finds out the secrets Zuko's hiding and how his father and Bato knew and didn't tell him. Sokka has struggled with feeling like he isn't important, as a non-bender and his relations with his sister, her being a prodigy + a bender, and his father, always feeling like he wasn't enough for his dad, not good enough, not smart enough, not needed, but the Zuko's good enough, Hakoda loves him.

Zuko, who has had an incredibly traumatic and difficult childhood, the last three years of his life is where he has found and made a spot for himself in a positive community that loves him and supports him, Sokka has become increasingly more and more isolated, and his sense of self has changed even more dramatically in the last few weeks.

Sorry for the long rant, but I could just feel Sokka's fears and insecurities screaming at me throughout the chapter. Love this work though, just cried for Sokka <3

HIII OH YOU SO GET IT!! OH YOU SOOOO GET IT!! The fic is for SURE Zuko-centric, but I have been intentionally layering on the potential for his arc to align with Sokka's in completely the opposing way. Zuko has everything Sokka wants, he has a space with the crew, the warriors. he spent the last three years with his father and Bato, bonding, developing his identity as a person alongside the tribe, welcomed in, he has gotten to be everything that Sokka has always wanted. Meanwhile, Sokka has everything that Zuko wants. Sokka was home, somewhere safe with people who cared for him and looked up to him, with his sister, away from his parents and in a position where he was in charge of his own life. Its such a twisted, complex situation where the two crave, desperately, what the other has without thinking about the context. Without thinking of what got the other to the point of having what they wanted, both in turn. IM SOOO happy to see someone talking about Sokka ohhhughhh im so fucking happy. I think a lot of people have focused on Sokka's initial attitude towards Zuko, without thinking about every single thing you've brought up in this beautifully constructed comment, of which I am really excited to eventually flesh out when I am back from hiatus. Sokka, more than anything, wants to be a warrior alongside his father. For Zuko, he doesn't think Sokka fully understands the gravity of what that would look like, especially after having experienced such a heavy loss as he had recently. (RIP king im sorry) but for Sokka, he see's a replacement. he doesnt know the nuances, not for lack of intelligence but he just literally hasnt been told and although he is owed explanation he isn't owed Zuko's story in its full, of what led Hakoda and Bato to the decision of keeping him on board. I firmly believe if Zuko had have been older, or had have been a child from any other nation, Hakoda and Bato would have not kept him. I actually go over this a lot in the early chapters where they're deciding wtf to do. It genuinely ended up being a problem of "well. No matter where we put him he's gonna get killed. How fucked up is that, safest place for this kid is LITERALLY on a warship of the enemy. great." I also think acknowledging the fact that Zuko HAS had a lot of support and comfort in the last three years whereas Sokka has not is a super important point to be made! Despite the current circumstances, and the ones that led Zuko to being in the position he is/was, Zuko did have support which Sokka lacked. TBH, if I hadve had more wiggle room and decided to fuck with canon more then I already had, I would have left a good amount of the warriors in the SWT, unlike in canon. Or had Hakoda go back to leave soldiers there when he realised they were going to be gone for longer then what I am assuming was initially planned. However I was more then aware that would SIGNIFICANTLY change the circumstances of Sokka's experiences and how it aligns with Zuko's, in canon and in the fic, so i chose against it. This is such a sporadic messy reply I am just so happy to get a comment picking up on all the stone I've been laying for a big discussion on the details of Sokka's own trauma and how its going to clash with Zuko's.

All this to say, Sokka will absolutely be getting his turn to hash out everything you've said here and I can promise you no stone will be left unturned when it comes to his trauma and life experiences!! I think a big thing I am most excited for is having the two hash it out and realise where their lives overlap, where their feelings and experiences align and managing to acknowledge that each others traumas dont cancel each other out. Zuko's experiences do not cancel out Sokka's, and Sokka's do not cancel out Zuko's.

[fromtheseventhhell]

They're so twins-coded

[my-thirteenth-reason]

bro wtf is with this guy i swear when will he get the hint that i no longer am and do not want to be friends with his transphobic-in-the-weirdest-way ahh

[f1owermoon]

sorry i just. need to rant for a second

[hirazuki]

Okay, see, the thing about your story ending on a negative/dystopian/'despite everything that's happened nothing has changed in society' note and doing so successfully? It needs to have been set up for that in the first place, and it needs to be done in an intentional manner.

I have nothing against works that reinforce how cruel/meaningless/pointless/etc. the world is -- I enjoy a fair few! -- but the works themselves need to be some sort of commentary about it; the plot might be demonstrative of the futility of everything, but the story never should. It should take that and build on it and use it to make a statement, underscore a point, etc. to its readers. Having everything carry on business-as-usual without acknowledging it, especially in a genre that's generally meant to conclude on optimistic, uplifting, and hopeful notes, comes off as callous and in direct opposition with the values it extols.

Plus, the story itself should never be futile because, then, well, it never mattered as a work and it makes no difference if you've read it or not. Which... that's just a badly written story lmao.

[whattraintracks]

90s Raphael’s characterization between the first movie and the next two is interesting. Could make for a good fic.

I love Raph's characterisation across the 90s trilogy.

There are so many little things I could point out, but overall, I love that he's a little guy with big feelings! He doesn't always know what to do with them given he's a teenager with sensory issues and trauma. I love his strong convictions about right and wrong and justice and helping others and protecting his family and bystanders. I love watching this kid who spent fifteen years in isolation discover what he wants and fight for it.

Splinter tells him and his brothers their whole lives (as gently as possible) that the world above will never understand or accept them, but Raph carves out a place for himself anyway. He must have brought home so many strays growing up, and then he brings home three humans who change their lives. As he gets to know April, Casey, and Keno, he learns that he craves connection, a wider social circle than his family can offer. He wants people to know he exists. And we see how much he wants, but the price to have it is too steep. Because he can't reveal himself to the whole world and protect his family; he can't live in ancient Japan and have them, too. Despite so desperately wanting more, he chooses his family every time. I love when tmnt media and fandom explore these aspects of Raph.

My 90s fics tend to focus on how Raph is harmed by their conflict with the Foot Clan.

Sunset is my take on some of the missing hours between Raph's capture and rescue from Foot HQ.

Wrestling imagines how Raph might've broken down after the first two movies given everything he went through.

Thanks for the ask =)

[izzy-b-hands]

Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)