undeadgirlboy

[undeadgirlboy]

1960s Snoopy Lighter

[undeadgirlboy]

I am not the first person to say this, but the whole "people act like nonbinary means woman-lite" is not exactly an accurate read of the phenomena it's intended to describe.

due to transmisogyny, (and transphobia more broadly, but the specific transmisogyny here is key to understanding why this is a structural thing everywhere from professional organizations to lgbt NGOs/nonprofits to housing listings) "nonbinary" in many spaces has come to denote specifically TME trans people who pass as cis women.

that's why it's always "women and nonbinary" as interchangeable with "women and femmes" phrasing.

that's why the "women" part never includes trans women, and the "nonbinary" part never includes TMA nonbinary people, and the "femmes" part never includes transfems.

if nonbinary was associated with womanhood and femininity then trans women and transfems and feminine TMA nonbinary people would be welcome in these spaces, but they are not.

"Nonbinary" isn't associated with being "woman lite" it is being associated with a very specific positionality of privilege* in which someone is not subject to structural transmisogyny and can, at least in some places, conditionally pass as cis.

it might seem like splitting hairs, but I do think a more precise analysis of this is needed. cis power is awarded to those who adequately adhere to their assigned gender, and so these spaces are looking for people who were assigned female, and obey the constraints of their gender assignment enough to not threaten the cis women running the space. of course, who exactly decides what counts as "enough" is wildly variable because it's essentially the collective will of cis women running the space.

but like if you, like me, are TME nonbinary, and getting frustrated with the constant aggressive coercion from cis women to push yourself back in the closet, feeling erased & misunderstood & dysphoric, it's important to recognize where this coercive force is coming from and what the intended effect is. if you're misdirecting your (justified) discomfort with this at TMA people instead of cis women, you've lost the plot.

_

*hear me out, I'm talking contextual & conditional & relative to other trans people. not saying people in this demographic do not experience transphobia--in fact even inclusion in these predominately cis women spaces is emerging from transphobia & I think everyone who has ever been in this demographic who has entered these spaces feels this transphobia viscerally. cisnormativity is extremely enforced in these spaces and if you're loud about transfeminism & confronting transmisogyny in the space, in many cases you will quickly be socially excluded too even if you were welcomed initially. no one is getting cis privilege here. but there's a difference between being excluded for your actions & never being welcome in the first place. And that difference is transmisogyny.

[undeadgirlboy]

"there is something wrong with me" would imply theres something right with other people. which i dont believe

[undeadgirlboy]

a trans woman expressing love freely and openly to everyone in her life. a beautiful thing

[undeadgirlboy]

The Radical Queer Aesthetics of Gay Power Magazine

[undeadgirlboy]

wanting romantic relationships is a weakness btw and also a moral failing

[undeadgirlboy]

i sat my white ass down and got tortured

[undeadgirlboy]

kneeling down beside my bed and folding my hands and closing my eyes: dear god please let me have some gay sex soon and also maybe let me win the lottery so i never have to get a job again. okay goodbye i mean amen

[undeadgirlboy]

I love being ugly as fuck and into music

[undeadgirlboy]

[undeadgirlboy]

All of the full moons of 2024

[undeadgirlboy]

[undeadgirlboy]

I have done this method several times and it works well but is definitely labor intensive. If you're interested in a slightly easier modification you can buy packs of stencil blanks from Walmart for around 3 dollars. They are significantly sturdier in my experience and have less risk of ripping while you're cutting out your design.

How to print your own graphic T-shirts like this at home for less than 5$

You are going to need:

- acrylic paint in your desires colours (if you want to put light colours on dark fabric pick up white paint too to use as an underpainting so your colours show up)

- paper sheet

- masking tape

- exacto knife

- makeup sponge you don't mind ruining

- printer (optional)

This is made using my trusty method of stenciling. First you need to pick up a pattern - for biggest chance of success pick something high-contrast and with as many details as you think you'll be able to cut out by hand - if in doubt go simpler so that there's higher chance you finish the project.

I picked the danse macabre skeletons (imagine the background is black)

If you have a printer put your image in an editing progam (if you don't have one downloaded use canva, its online and free) and invert the colours to use less ink.

If you don't have a printer I suggest taping a piece of paper to your monitor and tracing by hand, or you could even do it by putting the picture on your phone zoomed in and tracing it part by part moving the paper as you move the picture underneath. Of course you can also just design your own print, add stuff, change em, anything.

Then what you do is you cover your paper in a layer of masking tape from each side - this is to give it structure and pervent marrying of the paper to the fabric.

Then you get an exacto knife and slowly cut out everything you want to print. Don't rush this step or you'll risk ruining your stencil. Make sure to leave structural supports for your stencil, you can either incorporate them into the design or just leave out stripes that you can fill in later. You can check how your stencil will look like by bringing it twoards a light source, to track if you like the direction the project is heading.

This particular stencil took me 2 hours I believe (i did it last year I don't remember)

Then you masking tape the stencil to your shirt, pant, bag, whatever honestly, this will work on any flat fabric and make sure to put a barrier inside so the paint doesn't bleed to the other side - it shouldn't do that but it can so why not pervent it.

And now using acrylic paint you dab on the paint thin layer by thin layer - the goal is to have not a lot of paint on your sponge so it doesn't bleed but to work it into the fabric really hard so your graphic is durable and doesn't crack. You don't need fabric paint or to mix in any medium since you're working the plastic so deep into the fibers. For white paint i usually do 4-5 coats, for dark paints on light fabric usually two is enough, but it's up to you entirely.

And now just let it dry for a while and it's ready! It's safe to wear probably within 10 minutes, just check if it's not sticky. Best thing is that the stencil is reusable so you can make more, you can do it in different colours, different garments, you can do just about anything. Have fun!

Washing care is how you would take care of any graphic tee - wash inside out on the "hand washing" setting in a washing machine and let air dry and also use minimal detergent - If this is too much to ask just turn it inside out when putting it in the wash, that's where most protection comes from.

This whole thing took me maybe 3 hours total. The shirt I used I thrifted for maybe 2$ and the materials I bought once and have been using for years, so the total cost of putting this print on this shirt to me was nearly 0$.

[undeadgirlboy]

[undeadgirlboy]

This satire article resonated with me so much

[undeadgirlboy]

i know it's hard. but i so firmly believe the strongest antidote to loneliness is reaching out first. and continuing to reach out. again and again and again. excise any scrap of shame you hold about being the person who texts first or pitches the plan or asks to get lunch. everyone is tired and busy and struggling. and afraid of feeling unwanted and unimportant. don't let the people you love feel that way. reach out first. don't be a ghost in your own life.

[undeadgirlboy]

">_< but im scared of change!" <- girl who wishes everything was different