#and it fucks with her self esteem a lot

[offorestsongs]

a villainess doesn't get to end up with the prince.

low-quality silverflame posting time! with some vague lore! i don't have the energy to do anything more polished rn but i still wanted to get the idea out

[pepperpixel]

SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,

BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,

IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!

FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

[cheekblush]

really starting to believe that psychic who claimed i’m cursed

[watermelinoe]

my niece once got upset w my dad bc he wouldn't buy her some overpriced drunk elephant skincare product. she was freaked out about getting wrinkles. at age eight. i wish her mom had never bought her that damn smartphone

[bumblingbabooshka]

Watched ‘Charades’ - The Vulcan/Human stuff wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be tbh. Typical Star Trek bioessentialism which I expected. (EXCEPT THE BACON BULLSHIT. WHY DID THEY HAVE HIM EAT BACON? AND THEN PLAY IT FOR LAUGHS??? Of ALL things they had him eat Bacon. It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth since Leonard Nimoy was jewish and seems to have put a lot of that into Spock.) Love T’Pring no notes for T’Pring you were so sweet the whole time. Her holding his hand and subtly giving him tips to make the ritual go smoothly...AAA!! Christine/Spock things sooo boring on their own but as angst for T’Pring? Very good. She wasn’t even gone a DAY before they made out. DUMP! HIS! ASS <3 The phone operator please-hold aliens were very cute to me, I liked them!  Also it introduced the concept of a sacred Vulcan familial roast sesh which is honestly so fucking funny and I adore it. Five minutes on the clock to devastate your future son-in-law, better make it count. The mother-in-law-is-a-bitch and ‘henpecked husband’ thing is SOOOOOO boring though. Boomer comics. The funnier and more interesting option is that they are both equally pretentious but T’Pril is just more committed/has a better eye for things to complain about. 

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

Why do you care what Joe Alwyn thinks?

That’s a good question! I think a big part of it is that instinctual protectiveness about Taylor bc of how many people I’ve seen hurt her. It’s not unlike how your ears perk up if someone is talking about something an ex of your friend said about her. Chalk it up to parasocialism maybe haha I also just am nosy and find it more interesting/light hearted than doomscrolling. I do think I tend to care more than is “normal” to care about a total stranger (so is Taylor), but that’s why I’m here on the special interest website to post and read posts about Taylor swift’s cinematic universe, idk. I don’t ever seek out information about what he thinks, but if I encounter it organically in the swiftie ecosystem I don’t feel the need to pretend I didn’t hear it. Im not really interested in the moral purity contest around being a swiftie. I like gossip and I like chatting with the girlies in my phone about pop culture idk and I like feeling righteously grouchy about loser dudes I guess.

maybe more deeply, I think I care what he thinks because it gives me a window into how this man carries himself, and how his opinions/actions may have effected my girl Taylor and her art. It’s so rare to get insight into how he ticks, so when something comes up, it fleshes out my mental picture of him. For someone who was sooo honorable for not talking shit with their friends, he sure talks a lot of shit!!! If he doesn’t want me to hate him, he shouldn’t keep staying stupid shit about Taylor 🤷🏼‍♀️

I tend to not care at all about his existence/thoughts most of the time, but when he’s blabbing publicly about Taylor, that feels more fair game (I know none of it is actually ethical. in particular the last piece we were discussing which was something someone overheard him saying, and not a consensual quote, I think).

[astralaces]

amity should have been the one to calm willow during her freak out since she's the one who gave willow her inferiority complex in the first place

[hauntedhikingsociety]

episode 3 of scooby doo mystery inc: this is cute the mystery is cool it’s still obviously a kids’ show haha shame i didn’t watch this when i was 10

episode 21 of scooby doo mystery inc:

[darksouls2yuri]

i wish i could be horny consistently and not ruin the mood always by saying stupid shit because i love my wife so much shes so fucking hot and i dontt hink she thinks i do love her because i fuck it up when she wanst to have sex im always like damn i need to do laundry

[bibiana112]

I have no idea how to phrase it but being on the older end out of the students in this class and seeing a lot of the ones that just left highschool struggling with very similar stuff than I did (because no one in this course is cishet and neurotypical) and then seeing them come to me for support with all that stuff just because I'm outspoken about my experiences and somehow signaled that I'm safe enough of a person to come to all in the third week of class is so much I don't know how I got here but I'm so glad I did

[elytrafemme]

THERAPY ACHIEVED!

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

do you ever just begin to write something and have an epiphany

[o-vera-nalyzing]

i had to add the tags cause goddamn that’s so fucking real. and it’s so natural for him to go overboard in the other direction when trying to heal from the mindset of always trying to be smaller and nicer etc

but it goes back to what zelda said sophomore year, he’s not a weird guy offering a flower to someone the first day of school and singing a song trying not to get mad. he’s a rockstar, he’s saved the world, his friend group is the most popular and objectively coolest in the school, he’s literally killed many people which might not be that weird in spire but a good amount of those people were school faculty. like he’s intimidating and scary and cool and has a group of friends who can, have, and will kill for him.

i don’t think he fully realizes it yet but eventually he’s gonna realize when he says certain things that are healing for him because he’s breaking from his forced placidness, that those things can also really hurt other people. and i think with the support and friends and role models he has he’ll learn time and place and lines not to cross, etc, but i honestly just love to see the growth.

anyways he’s my boy and he’s finally standing up for himself unapologetically and maybe the whole rage thing is connected to the overarching plot in a bad way but honestly i don’t care gorgug deserves to be mad bffr. he’s in high school and he’s got a stellar support system he’ll learn when to be mad and when being mad is an understandable reaction and even though it’s not bad it isn’t the most useful or acceptable in every scenario.

i honestly think that Gorgug bullying Mary Ann is a good thing for the fandom bc i see so many of you guys being like "oh he's so sweet he would never hurt a fly", still treating him like he had no evolution since the first day of freshman year and the tinfoil flower... wrong. Gorgug is as capable of being a shithead as any of the others. he's a tall strong teenager who could very well turn into a bully if he wanted to, just like any of us, and who keeps getting pushed into it by his teacher and even his friends. Gorgug's road to self-affirmation cannot be brought forward without casualties, otherwise his narrative arc wouldn't have any weight ; this is a character who grew up being taught that you have to make yourself smaller, to always be kind and nice and arranging to others, while the general public kept seeing him as this big threatening monster !! of course he's going to take up some bad behaviors on the way of breaking free out of that. i hope he keeps having outbursts until the bad kids are forced to realize that it's not so fun anymore and to actually intervene.

[kuiinncedes]

bro

[disillusionedjudge]

((so... y'all know how I've said Gylfie is less bothered by the whole dog comparison than she should be? yeah, that was a lie sfdgkhjsgdf