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i just can’t get kevin and andrew doing chaotic press interviews out of my head. i like to think that one day they get to a point where kevin realised people like his (matured, therapied, still an asshole but at least he’s self-aware) personality, and andrew gets comfortable with being a little more loose, and they do a string of terrible (amazing) interviews pre- and post-olympics. these are the thoughts i rotate in my mind.

1. they have to fly to NY or smth and the flight that they’re on is terrible. andrew is obviously already nervous because he hates flying, and this is only made worse by sitting next to the Most Nervous Man in America. when they land — and they weren’t sure that they would — both of them are high on adrenaline and have to go straight to filming, but they cannot lock in for the life of them. they’re only trying to make each other laugh and they’re both delirious enough that at one point, they’re halfway through the interview, on the floor and wheezing. it’s such a whiplash from what people are used to that theories spread about whether they were high or not, but no, they were just a mess

2. they do those lie detector interviews and refuse to ask the questions on the cards. andrew asks kevin if he ever fucked on an exy court, kevin asks andrew if he’s guilty of murder. all results end up inconclusive

3. auto-complete interview after both of them come out (andrew gay, kevin bi, you understand) and they both use every opportunity to expose the hook-ups and crushes each other had while in college. results in a viral clip of the interviewer asking if kevin has daddy issues and andrew (tearfully, out of breath, clinging to life) saying “it depends on how you’re defining ‘issues’”

4. look okay i knowww i talk about Hear Me Out cake videos w the foxes but listen. Andrew puts down “the hypothetical feeling of scoring a goal from the goalie box” and kevin says “respectfully, if i saw you do that, i think i’d cum”

5. andrew impersonating kevin at any opportunity by doing a very bad irish accent until kevin eventually wrestles him to the ground and tells him to “apologise to ireland”

6. they do that bit from a Smosh livestream where, while the cameras are rolling but kevin hasn’t started their intro, andrew turns to him and says “just kiss me. kiss me, before we start recording. kevin. kevin, just kiss me.”

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I desperately need more fics exploring the fact that Clark was born and raised in the rural midwest, and Bruce was a Jersey rich boy.

Give me Clark taking his shoes off when entering a house, and bringing something to dinner

Give me Bruce being absolutely confused because "what the hell is a potluck"

Give me Clark doing a proper midwest goodbye and Bruce being confused why he hasn't left when he said he was going to go 30 minutes ago and their still talking

(Even better if when Clark first says he's going to go Kon and Jon make no move to leave because they know it's going to be a while)

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andrew minyard character of all time. he's toxic. he doesn't talk to cops. he has an identical twin brother and they hate each other. he made his identical twin brother promise not to have any other friends and then doesn't even talk to him. he might be a misogynist. his only friends are a born-again lesbian who can beat him up, the runaway son of a yakuza-affiliated serial killer, and his therapist. he's a student athlete. he hates sports. he killed his mother. he's a Mean Girl who runs his friend group like a cult. he's a crim major for the bit. he has an eidetic memory. he's petty. he likes to get people gifts. he does coke sometimes but says it doesn't have any effect on him because he has too many mental illnesses. he's the love interest. he doesn't smile. he was right about wwiii. y2k goth. repeatedly risks his life to help people in situations that have absolutely nothing to do with him and says it's out of boredom. when they picked him up from the psych ward he got in the driver's seat and blasted screamo the whole ride back and didn't say a single word to anyone. oh my god he is exactly five feet tall. he's even gay

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when i see someone online call americans something along the lines of ‘xenophobic dicks’ generally speaking my response is ‘yeah we kinda earned that’ but never in my life did i expect to read that from an english person referring to how we treat THEM😭😭😭😭

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does writing poetry count as step one of my post-concussion return to play protocol if it raised my heart rate above half my resting rate?

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aftg acapella au but Andrew has perfect pitch instead of an eidetic memory

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RIP Kelsier you would have loved the UnitedHealthcare CEO killer craze

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watch nba on tnt clips and tell me charles, shaq, kenny, and ernie aren’t neil, matt, kevin, and jeremy on their gameshow after they retire you literally can’t

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just realized discowing is meant to be read as disco-wing rather discow-ing…..

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the most accurate thing about the aftg series is the amount of alcohol kevin day drinks cause what is college sports without getting wasted after games

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atsumu knew he would hit that the second he saw kiyoomi but it took him until he was complaining about omi to osamu and he realized he had been telling the story with a fond grin on his face instead of annoyed scowl to realize it was anything more than that. he immediately hung up on osamu when questioned about his sudden pause and osamu knew exactly why

kiyoomi realizes he’s into atsumu when atsumu gets under a low pass to set and his first thought is ‘god i have to hit it from the back’ and it surprises him so much he flubs the spike. atsumu yells at him for it and kiyoomi has some…. interesting feelings about it. he immediately goes home and tells motoya he’s in love with miya

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Jason as those AO3 authors who have the worst tragedies happening to them and yet still continues to pump out his new chapter every week

Some poor, unbeknownst Gothamite: “My favorite fanfic writer hasn’t posted or updated any of their fanfic in like four years. I don’t want to bug them but I’m always hoping for them to come back. I hope their okay :( ”

Jason, in between cutting off right hand mens heads and antagonize black mask, like Really Living It Up: “hey, sorry, guys! I know it’s been forever! I literally died and clawed my way back from zombiehood, but I’m back now! Hope you enjoy this new chapter!”

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Neil Josten ordered a hit by writing it on a napkin btw.

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kiyoomi realizes he’s into atsumu when atsumu gets under a low pass to set and his first thought is ‘god i have to hit it from the back’ and it surprises him so much he flubs the spike. atsumu yells at him for it and kiyoomi has some…. interesting feelings about it. he immediately goes home and tells motoya he’s in love with miya

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polycule where one guy has an “i can fix him” mindset and another guy has an “i can make him worse” mindset about the same third guy. net zero moral change

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I mean yeah we all know that Neil is a good liar and all, but I think sometimes we forget to what extent.

Like he got literally plucked from class one day and put in front of his father’s boss, totally unprepared, and put on an oscar-winning performance of a lifetime. Bitch was like “I am not saying your brother is out of line my lord 😔😔😔 I am afraid of what will fall back on you 🤔🫢 🤧” and fucking manage to convince ichirou to kill his own brother.

What a man…