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Allison “It’s not gay if it’s a threesome with me” Reynolds perfectly scheming to get Seth “I’m not gay” Gordon and Kevin “It’s easier to remain heterosexual” in bed together.

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what if Damian wasn’t sent to Bruce by Talia and instead decided to do a bit of early child-rebellion by running away to him himself. Talia, pissed off but too busy dealing with uprisings in the league to go track him down herself, calls up the person Damian is most likely to listen to other than her; his brother, who she trusts to keep him safe.

the thing is, Jason is 1: busy with his own missions atm 2: was also once a rebellious little asshole who liked to run away from home. he was Damian’s tutor once, he knows the kid can handle himself and he also knows if he CAN’T handle something he’ll contact Jason for help. he knows this because about a week before Talia called him, Damian called him.

Jason, phone balanced between his ear and shoulder: what do you want, i’m undercover

Damian: i require money for a fake passport.

Jason:

Jason, letting go of the guy he was beating up: alright you have my attention.

Damian: i am running away from home. i wish to do something ‘for the lore’ like the stories you used to tell me as a child.

Jason:

Jason ‘i’m going to ethiopia’ Todd: there’s some stuff in the fake panel under my bed. don’t tell me where you’re going, i don’t want to be complicit when Talia calls. also don’t die, because if you do i’m gonna make you eat dirt once you get out of the pit.

Damian: understood. if i am about to die, i shall call again.

Jason: have fun kiddo.

so Jason tells Talia he’ll ‘keep an eye out for any leads’ and then goes back to his normal business. league missions, his own missions, some outlaw shit, and eventually he ends up crime lording it up in Gotham. he’s a little confused when Tim Drake is seen swinging around as Red Robin rather than just Robin, but he got over his obsession with the Robin shit a while ago, so he ignores it.

until he runs into Batman and Robin. and there isn’t a mask in the fucking world that could hide his kid brother’s face from him.

Red Hood:

Robin:

Red Hood:

Robin:

Batman: why are you two staring at each other like that. what’s happening.

Robin:

Red Hood: *deep sigh*

Robin: are you going to tell mother-

Red Hood: -when you said ‘like the stories i used to tell you’.

Robin: *looks at the floor*

Red Hood: i did NOT think you meant running to a different country to find your birth parent. you fucking COPIER.

Robin:

Robin: …but you made being Robin sound so cool…

Batman: what the fuck are you two talking about?

Red Hood, pointing: you stay out of this, this is family business.

Batman: ????

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ok but it makes so much sense that it happens often cause if i had a weird friend/more thing going on with someone and that man showed up??? i would lock that shit down as fast as humanly possible otherwise you can’t stand a chance against him

Kevin shows up to CA and is third wheeling and the lesbians are like. Damn. And Kevin’s like would u believe this is the second time this has happened to me. No matter where I go I am just accidentally getting ppl together. And they’re like pause. We have ppl who need a push. Are u willing to be a fourth wheel this once

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jason todd monopolizing the daddy and mommy issues of the batclan? like damn bro leave some for they rest of them

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thinking about neil showing up at the end of tsc

"Jeremy opened the door right as Neil knocked.

'Hello, Neil.' Jeremy turned sideways so Neil could fit past him through the doorway, but Neil only stepped backwards off the welcome mat. 'An unexpected pleasure.'

'Unexpected,' Neil agreed as he looked past him" (p300)

"an unexpected pleasure" just reads like a forced pleasantry that's really just a thinly-veiled complaint to me. like he does not want neil there. and neil just steps away and doesn't even look at him. honestly one of my favorite scenes in tsc maybe. lol i hope they hate each other kinda

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living on a college campus in pennsylvania means i never actually have to ever watch a football game to know the outcome and it’s kinda nice ngl. i didn’t watch a single second of the game tonight but i know the eagles are going to the super bowl because there are like ten guys in the hall singing fly eagles fly and screaming go birds

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it’s so hard to take superheroes serious in fanfics when u come from a tall/athletic family. like they’ll be like ‘he’s GIGANTIC’ and then he’s like 6’4 220 pounds. which is like tall don’t get me wrong but like my little brother is 6’6 260 and i would still only call him abnormally large.

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which dc comics trio gives drake/kendrick beef vibes more

specifically i’m thinking of a ‘fuck the big three there a only big me’ situation where two of them go ‘omg we’re so great and awesome! also (insert character) is awesome too!’ and the other character finds out and takes huge offense to it cause clearly they’re number one none of this ‘too three’ bullshit

(they’re listed in the order of drake, kendrick, jcole)

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too old to be a protagonist too young to be a wise mentor, what else is left for me in this desolate portion of life? to be a a cool older role model who immediately fades into obscurity after two chapters?

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hi here’s a cool bird I betcha didn’t know existed, ✨the wallcreeper✨

it literally looks like a monarch butterfly it’s so cute

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About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

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yes and the third scenario is you get adopted and then eventually become the adopter after enough time has passed

question. do we think the adoption situation in gotham is a "you either get adopted or escape long enough to become the adopter" situation orrrrrrr

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texts sent to Neil the first month Andrew spends away at his first pro team

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omg that sounds amazing, lmk if you find it!

*Stuck in their civilian identities trying to stop a villain*

Clark: *whispering* Bruce what do we do?!

Bruce: *whispering back, stuck in Brucie mode* I dunno man, usually I just flash my tits and all my problems go away

*Clark’s eyes dart down to Bruce’s unbuttoned shirt and a blush takes over his cheeks*

Clark: Oh, erm, *cough* y-yeah I could see that…

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a comment under one of Ben Shapiro’s latest videos that i like

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it's really funny how the NYPD perp walked Luigi Mangione as an obvious power play so they could pretend they're badasses but instead they just look like they're leading Jesus to the cross