#and incredibly normal about the characters

[fatliberation]

What are your thoughts on weight gain being used as a metaphor for healing/character growth? It’s incredibly rare but I think it’s wonderful imagery that needs to be explored more. The only example I can think of weight gain being used as a positive symbol/metaphor for anything was in Bojack Horseman where the character Diane Nyugen gains weight from her anxiety medication, making progress as a much happier and stable person as time went on, it also helps that no one pointed out her weight gain throughout the show’s run either, it’s treated as not only normal, but a positive change for her character and I love the show so much for that ❤️❤️❤️

I absolutely felt the same way about Diane’s story, that was so refreshing and heartwarming to see, especially now looking back on it as someone who has gained a lot of weight on antidepressants. MORE WEIGHT GAIN BEING A GOOD THING!!

oddly enough, the only other example I can think of where weight gain was normalized in fiction was in trolls 2??? the one band member who was known as the “hot one” was ripped and clearly under a lot of pressure to exercise - then later in life he’s fat, totally happy, has a wife and kids, is doing what he wants, and there’s no joke or gotcha about his weight whatsoever. just a happy guy. gave me hope for children’s films.

[mirai-e-jump]

TV Life, 11/29/2024 Issue (No.23) ft. Miyabe Nozomi & Miyazawa Yu (translations below)

Publication: November 13, 2024

GavvPare! Vol.6 (Miyabe Nozomi)

-The main episodes that gave me confidence-

Let's backtrack abit and go over episode 7 and 8, which focus on Sachika. When I first read the script, I felt the difficulty of having to express a completely different side of Sachika's usual self through her past troubles and the problems she still faces. I'm not the type of person who shows alot of emotion on a daily basis, so I've never been angry like that in real life. I wasn't sure how to act it out, but Director Sugihara gave me the advice to "put more power into my eyes," and so I tried to play the role while being conscious of both the impression being conveyed through my eyes, and the gap between Sachika's typical smiling face and her enraged expressions. I was happy to receive tons of messages after the broadcast from viewers on SNS saying, "I cried" and "It was really good," and Director Sugihara also praised me. I gained confidence in my performance through these episodes, and it also motivated me.

Also, the scene with the paint being thrown on me was a valuable experience. In actuality, the paint wasn't real paint, but a mixture of dyes and flour, so it was alittle heavy, but during practice we used water, so the sensation was different. I think Tsujioka-san, who played Egawa, had a difficult time managing to do it. Still, I feel that the tension in the air, combined with the urgency and anxiety we both had, made for a scene that left an impact.

In episode 11, Shouma, Hanto, and Sachika finally work together. I personally enjoyed Hanto being pushed around by Shouma and Sachika (laughs). Hino-kun's comical performance really drew us in. Since there's been a series of episodes with more serious elements, I'd be happy if you could watch episode 11 while giggling.

Q: Tell us an unexpected side of Chinen-kun!

A: My first impression was that he was such a reliable person, that I couldn't believe he was younger than me, but right after filming started, I began to think that he "might just be an airhead." Recently, after the Director told him, "Next, we're going to shoot a close up of Shouma," for some reason he replied with, "Thank you very much" (laughs). I keep a close eye on him while thinking how adorable he is.

Off Shot: Nails that look like corn! I'm sure "Shouma" will say they look tasty. I also change my nails every time to match my outfits! _

BakuDAYS Vol.18 (Miyazawa Yu)

-I'm acting while being conscious of Sakito's growth-

Recently, the scene in episode 32 where Genba and Sakito clashed was particularly memorable for me, especially the sumo wrestling scene. From episode 35, in which Bundorio's past is revealed, as Byundi's partner, he had alot of feelings about it. I think it's only because Sakito's shared many experiences with Byundi up until now that he's able to understand both the joy of reuniting with Bundorio and the shock of learning about Bundorio's past. Although he understands Byundi's feelings better than anyone else, Sakito's very clumsy, so I was conscious of portraying the clumsy way he approaches Byundi, as well as the kindness he shows to him.

Sakito's been living in space since he was 10 years old, so there probably wasn't an environment for him to attend elementary or middle school to learn anything. Because of this past, my interpretation is that Sakito's a character that has trouble keeping his distance from others, is strangely calm in situations where others would normally be in a panic, and that he has an incredibly childish side to him. The experience he's gained as a Cleaner is an important part of Sakito, but there's also alot he's learned since encountering the Boonboomgers. He's always lived in space, so naturally, I'm sure he was confused and anxious about the sudden increase of friends. However, as a member of Boonboomger, Sakito has definitely grown. I'm conscious of acting in a way that brings out such perfect characterization.

Things will continue to rage on from here on out! Spindo, the final boss, has appeared, but I wonder what'll happen to the Boonboomgers from here. And then, how will the ISA play into the story? It'd make me happy if you'd look forward to the conclusion!

Q: Something you want cleaned up by the "Cleaner"

A: I've been filming Boonboomger for over half a year now, so I want to get my clothes in order. I'd like to get rid of things that need to be thrown away, so I'd like to have this cleaned up by the end of the year. I don't wanna have to drag this into the coming year! (laughs).

BakuageSHOT: A photo that was taken after filming the final scene in episode 37. Filming has entered the climax, and developments are going to continue to rage on from here on out, but as the Boonboomgers, we'll continue to overcome these "raging waves" until the very end! I don't want it to be over, but the six of us are going to push forward until the very end!

[rat-rosemary]

Yes but also. Augh.

They encourage him to take more then he would normally, specially because now they (and Sapnap) have a whole system for his feedings so he can safely eat more

(I will now show my incredible bias and love for c!Q)

It's not that Q was a bad partner when they were together, but Sapnap didn't have any support when it was them and afterwards Q believed that Sapnap had been changed in some way and was now a danger to society

But the truth is that Sapnap's (un-)life is a lot like he needed mobility support but couldn't show it so he just tried to lean against walls as subtly and lightly as possible while walking around, but them Shadoune and Serpias came along and they just. Gave him a crutch. And it's visible and he had to learn how to use it and he definitely stumbled but like. All his past struggles almost seem silly now because he has this support. There used to be a pain on his gut that made it hard to move every morning and now it's just gone and it's hard to remember it.

It does drive Q up a wall seeing Sapnap healthier, both because he's scared that means he's killing Shadoune and Serpias in the process and because he thinks his Sapnap was taken from him and turned into something else, instead of Sapnap having just suffered silently during their relationship

However, a silly thing about Q is that at the core of his character he is a pathetic little slut /aff, and three blood bags is better then two, so I think he gets his wish of getting back those golden days

shadoune/sapnap/serpias vampire human polycule idea!!! :3

👁👁

Okay like. Human Sapnap and his vampire boyfriends of course because Sapnap is a loud and proud monster fucker, but also how funny would it be for Sapnap to be a vampire, shamed and hunted for hundred of years, just for his boyfriends to be really into it

Like, push Sapnap's face into their necks and order him to bite. He's their little bat <3

[hpowellsmith]

Heart's Choice WIP announcement: Heart of the Mountain by Fay Ikin

Heart of the Mountain is a new Heart's Choice text game by Fay Ikin, the author of Heart of Battle and Asteroid Run: No Questions Asked. It's in the same setting as Heart of Battle, with a new MC and totally standalone.

Play Chapter 1 here! Fay would love to hear whatever feedback you have if you have a moment - either on the forum, or send it to me and I'll pass it on to her as she's not on here.

-

The war between the Coritan Republic and Messimera has been over for years, but as a magician you’ll never be free of your duties to your country.

With control over warmth and heat energy, you’ve been sent to a remote Messimeran outpost, where a small group of soldiers from both sides have been tasked to cooperate and guard the northernmost demilitarized zone…where your predecessor went mysteriously missing.

If anyone crosses the mountain pass or the frozen waterway, the peace treaties could fail. It’s frigid, isolated work, and monotonous until a mysterious fellow magician falls at your doorstep hiding dangerous secrets. Will you welcome your kind, or support your colleagues’ suspicions of them?

Everyone has their own agenda - and their own secrets to guard. When their goals oppose each other, who will you support and who will you stand against? Who will you keep close when your magic starts to fail, when paranoia and fear strike the outpost? A mysterious force within the mountain threatens to topple everything your country has worked for. What are you willing to lose to survive - your livelihood, your love, or your magic itself?

Heart of the Mountain is set in the same setting as Heart of Battle, 4-5 years later. All of the characters are new for this game, though backstory elements can have some familiar notes from the previous game. You won’t need to have played Heart of Battle to play this game.

I’m aiming for 3 or 4 chillies - some sex scenes are very explicit, and some will (at the reader’s choice) feature some intense kinky experiences.

As with Heart of Battle, it’s v/v. The MC can be a man (cis, trans or non-specified), woman (cis, trans or non-specified) or non-binary person (AMAB, AFAB, or not specified); the love interests are selectable between cis man/cis woman/non-binary.

There are four characters alongside the MC - everyone the MC interacts with is romanceable and plot relevant, and the conflict between different love interests’ goals and ambitions drives the plot.

All the characters have the possibility of a happy ending, but on some high-conflict routes some characters can become hostile antagonists

There are currently some polyamorous options planned: Eleri/Felician/MC, and Stelare/Theano/MC.

Romance Options:

Captain Felician Resende

GRIEVING OFFICER from the Coritan Republic

Felician’s magician best friend, the MC’s predecessor, went missing a month ago: a devastating loss Felician is still struggling to accept. With bad experiences with magic in the war, and a lingering deep distrust of magic, Felician’s trying hard to keep it out of the way of professional - or personal - relationships.

Best Felician: honorable, go-getting, enthusiastic

Worst Felician: inflexible, manic, controlling

What to say: “I agree, a five mile hike is a perfect team-building opportunity!”

What not to say: “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve made some amendments to your chore chart!”

-

Sergeant Eleri Katsaros

CONFLICTED ENGINEER from Messimera

You can’t get secrets out of Eleri with a prybar, but it’s still obvious that Sergeant Katsaros bitterly regrets whatever happened during the war. So now, here’s someone committed to being kind while frozen with shame. Eleri can’t imagine being called a good person, let alone believing it.

Best Eleri: Idealistic, practical, reliable

Worst Eleri: Fatalistic, brittle, volatile

What to say: “Let’s stay up until four in the morning to do inventory. In silence.”

What not to say: “I’ll only give you your toolbox back if you can name five things you like about yourself.”

-

Doctor Theano Leventis

MISANTHROPIC PHYSICIAN from Messimera

“Doctor Leventis has the potential to be a shining star of the Messimeran Army…if only Leventis could match talent with compassion”.

This, like other performance reviews, Theano has disregarded as ‘pointless sap’. There’s little point in babying other people’s emotions when there’s any number of things to do instead: music, reading, gambling, scientific analysis…you name it, Theano can do it. Unless it requires a bedside manner.

Best Theano: Creative, progressive, perceptive

Worst Theano: Bitter, destructive, dismissive

What to say: “Why would we be emotionally vulnerable with each other when we could get drunk and pass out instead?”

What not to say: “I’m sorry, but the future of the outpost relies on your ability to give me a convincing hug.”

-

Stelare Belmonte

FLIGHTY MAGICIAN from the Coritan Republic

Magic academy washout, army washout, an Illustrious’ magickeeper’s washout, an arena designer washout…is there anything Stelare can’t get fired from for ‘wilful disobedience and lack of adherence to basic safety’?

Stelare has telekinetic magic: the application of force to move and manipulate the world. But instead of being indispensable, Stelare has happily embraced the label of ‘massive liability’ and the freedom that comes with it. But what exactly is the plan on this remote, classified mountaintop?

At their best: Passionate, ambitious, protective

At their worst: Unpredictable, careless, vindictive

What to say: “I made you some hot chocolate, the others are so jealous!”

What not to say: “You don’t scare me…you’re just mediocre.”

[unnamed-atlas]

Something something Mumbo's hair turned grey and he didn't even mention it and in the exact same episode he introduces the science lab that he had originally said was meant for him to investigate the strange happening of the server but was actually introduced to be a corporate lab looking into the idea of immortality and is letting waste runoff poison the farmlands of the town he has referred to as being like the hometown for his minecraft character. He was meant to be looking into strange happenings that he worries might be 'too late' to solve if left to fester. The lab itself is causing strange happenings. They are poisoning the town. Mumbo's hair is turning grey. The merch drops seemed to imply that the Grumbot AI originated in this town, was made by Big Ron and passed down to Mumbo, who went on to improve it throughout his time on hermitcraft. The company mentions their work in AI in relation to their work in the field of immortality. Mumbo remains working there despite seeming to know what they're doing to this town that he seems to care about deeply. They are researching immortality. His hair is turning grey. Do you. Do you see what I'm seeing.

[potatobugz]

eek! scary!

[bookshelfdreams]

fr if "this is no longer the queer joy show" for you, idk what to tell you. maybe next time try engaging with the actual story instead of the version of it you made up in your head

[six-legged-sea-leopard]

no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-

[vidapon]

i just know hes never had a good sleep ever in his life

[elkian]

big same

After all, Inspekta is so sweet, and cute, and friendly, and helpful! You trust your good pal Inspekta, don't you, Godpoke? Look at how silly and whimsical he is! Check out those cartoony speech patterns! He's just a harmless fella who needs a trustworthy deputy. It's a big job, but he trusts you to do it!

Doesn't feel good to be special? For a god to tell you that you're special?

I was, and I mean this sincerely, utterly fooled. I took in the front and read it as his real face for so long. Only once he started talking about wanting to be special and being unappreciated did the red flags start to catch my eye.

(I think even if I were allistic I'd still be Oblivious Dork Inc., but yeah.)

Inspketa being so cute is really an amazing ploy - all the Bizzys are, but he's the cutestest. And it's weaponized, but it took me almost the whole game to realize that.

Inspekta being the cutest is a red flag (dunno if it's intended, but Mina is sort of a parallel - extremely cute, and grips people so hard she destroys them). NO other god, or even character, is as cute as him. No one has those super duper sparkly eyes, no one does so many cutesy poses. And if you go back and replay or review after the reveal, you can spot the timing of cute faces and poses lining up with some extremely sus behavior and lines. It's incredible character writing and acting.

In the artbook, it's mentioned that he's visually inspired in part by Charlotte from Madoka Magica - a disarmingly cute character who bites the gunslinger's head off before anyone realizes the danger. Charlotte expanding to her full form and attacking is when the show gets serious. Inspekta doing so is the same.

Anyways, great game. I highly recommend replaying or reviewing yourself - it's incredible to see how the foreshadowing is folded in so seemlessly, enough for alert players to catch but still subtle until it hits you square in the face.

EDIT: Meant to mention, we see Inspekta's human form at the end and it's very interesting how the two bodies differ. The similarity is clear, but Hector is normal-guy cute. Inspekta is cartoony cute, the absolute cutest. You can read some self-esteem issues into his form, especially contrasted with King's godmode (though as mentioned she was already heavily deified so she was already most of the way there).

Hector is a normal-looking fellow. He's of average height insofar as we can tell in the style - a little taller than a standard Bizzyboy. His hair is a bit frizzy, his face is a bit fuzzy, and his body is a bit chubby.

Inspekta is a tall, thin figure who gets taller as time goes on. He doesn't have coke-bottle lenses; he has big ol' sparkly eyes. His hair is a smooth, wavy mass. The man is his own gijinka - his idealized anime self portrait. His cuteness isn't incidental - it's not clear how much a god's body changes over time, if at all, so it's not unreasonable to assume he mostly looked like this on Ascension.

(And someone else said it better than me but the fact that his coat is full of hands? There's nothing in there (during the finale) except hands? He's empty and grasping, huge yet hollow. He doesn't even have arms, just hands. Bauhauzzo is the same, but he's far less active, his hands coming to balance and rest at the sides of his broad body. Inspekta's hands disappear in The God Complex unless he's actively scrolling - like he doesn't want you to see them.

His tail seems natural in human form, yet taped on in godmode. His flexibility is unnatural and used to unsettling effect as he literally bends over backwards to convince you.

Inspekta's form is artificial from the word go, and it honestly is pretty tragic.)

A note on Great God Grove's core story (as in, MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW) and me, specifically:

An important reminder I got from playing Great God Grove is that I am susceptible to propaganda.

It's been argued that everyone is to some extent, but I don't know nearly enough about the subject to comment.

It's interesting watching LPs where the chat goes 'huh that's sus' about parts I blithely blitzed through. I've mentioned before that I had incorrect assertions of Bauhauzzo's personality; watching these LPs, I realize it's because almost all of the information I went in with came from a suspect source. The God Awards is a masterpiece of misinformation that completely went over my head the first time. I was going 'haha LimboLane is doing puppet videos again' and chuckling over how the BizzyBoys crammed Inspekta into Miss M's place, and was so accepting of the whimsy that I missed some red flags.

I thought the post-Milldread fight was odd - especially when Inspekta claimed he couldn't stop them because they wouldn't listen to him. The Bizzys are so excitable that it is plausible they might not listen... but he's supposed to be the God of Leadership.

The sword statues are weird and there's definitely an oversaturation of Inspekta merch in Hobbyhoo, but I genuinely didn't get a real clue until BuzzHuzz. And watching other people play, I'm catching all kinds of foreshadowing - Inspekta claiming to have intercepted Click Clack's letter, while Click Clack says Inspekta delivered it! The fact that Inspekta didn't receive a cruel 'King' letter of his own! And so much more! The game is absolutely rife with foreshadowing, but between the whimsy that's key to both LimboLane games I've played, the goofiness of the BizzyBoys, and how harmless and cute they seem for a while - that weaponized incompetence - that it took me, if not by surprise, then at least a really damn long time to truly catch on.

Something definitely feels weird by the time you reach Hobbyhoo, but I was on the fence - and it took me longer to be sure whether it was Inspekta or Capochin who'd initiated the whole thing.

This is far from the first time I've missed a hidden message or direction of a story until a major plot twist or outright revisiting it years later. It doesn't surprise me at all. But it is a good reminder. The Bizzyboys and Inspekta work as the villains they are because they are so adorable, and tiny, and harmless, and clueless! They're just lil guys! How can you be so mean! And that is a genuine risk in the real world, where truly nasty movements are shrouded behind absurdity and Disney-cuteness. Rick Brick referencing "family values" was as unsubtle as his namesake to the face.

[sealeneee]

actually i really don't fucking get the whole ''anders was better in awakening" circlejerk. "sealene you have posted about this several times already isn't it enough" NO IT IS NOT

anders in awakening is a cliche funnyman guy whose motivations aren't particularly interesting or compelling. oh he likes cats and doesn't like templars and wants a pretty girl. truly revolutionized writing. it doesn't help, of course, that awakening is only like 15 hours long if you do all the side content, and really none of the companions are that fleshed out.

idk man i don't have any screenshots or long professional essays about character analysis i'm not that kind of blogger. i'm just some guy who finds the da2 version of anders much, much more interesting and compelling as a character. "oh they ruined him in da2" it's called fucking character development?????????????

anders in dragon age II is far from being a flawless person. some might even say he is a bad person, and while i don't really agree to that, i do see where those people are coming from. but he is an interesting character, one that provokes heated discussion even 13 years after the game's release. how often is there any meaningful discussion regarding awakening anders that isn't just "hur dur he was better back then"?

i don't even dislike awakening anders he's a fun little guy wish he wasn't voiced by fucking greg ellis tho but come on man would this man really be an interesting companion in something longer than a 15 hours long dlc with very little companion interactions

edit: i have a feeling this post might breach containment so in case it does -- i wrote this while being kinda sleep deprived and without thinking too deep, i was just pissed at dragon age reddit being stuck in 2016. i could have articulated my point better and with less generalization towards daa anders but i won't bother rewriting the post now because most people likely won't see the new version anyway

[peachie5000]

Woe Tales of Abyss Luke breakdown animatic upon ye...

[royalarchivist]

Quackity: Someone who I really wish would play a little more is– I'm going to say it: it's Luzu. Because Luzu – I was in a past server with Luzu called Karmaland, which Vegetta owns – and we did some crazy ass stories. [...] I would definitely love to do more stuff with Luzu, you know? [...] His thing is the time zones, though. Which makes sense, 'cuz he's like 60.

Foolish: Is he more of an early bird?

Quackity: No, he's like 60. He's 60. He sleeps early, wakes up early. That kind of like, BS. He's like, "Oh, I have a kid to take care of." It's like, "So?"

Foolish: Tell the kid to grow up!

Quackity: That's like a hobby. [Laughs] That's like a hobby, bro, that's like fcking–

Foolish: Just kick the kid out.

Quackity: Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you told Ollie [Luzu's son] to fcking– to just grow up, he would.

[ Full transcript ↓ ]

Quackity: Someone who I really wish would play a little more is– I'm going to say it: it's Luzu. Because Luzu – I was in a past server with Luzu called Karmaland, which Vegetta owns – and we did some crazy ass stories because– Ok, so the thing with Karmaland and the problem with Karmaland was that every.

Foolish: The problem with Karmaland!

Quackity: –was that everyone were Spaniards. Everyone was Spaniards. Everyone from Spain, they all had Spain timezone.

Foolish: And that's a problem

Quackity: So I would always start streaming at, like, 5 pm, and all the people from Spain would be asleep. Everyone from Spain would be asleep. So, it was just me doing content, and occasionally, it'd be with Luzu, and I miss that a lot. You know, Luzu– the reason he doesn't play on QSMP as much is because of timezone, so that is literal fcking revenge. That is revenge because Luzu had a fun time being Spaniard and making sure that when I connected late times in Karmaland, there would be no one! Well, guess now– guess what now, Luzu? You wake up at fcking six in the morning– [in a sad crying voice] –and if you ever want to come back, I'll fcking log in for you. No, I'm kidding. But I think- I think– no, I would definitely love to do more stuff with Luzu, you know?

Foolish: Yeah.

Tina: I wanna meet him.

Quackity: His thing is the time zones, though. Which makes sense, 'cuz he's like 60.

Foolish: Is he more of an early bird?

Quackity: No, he's like 60. He's 60. He sleeps early, wakes up early. That kind of like, bullsht. He's like, "Oh, I have a kid to take care of." It's like, "So?"

Foolish: Tell the kid to grow up!

Quackity: That's like a hobby. [Laughs] That's like a hobby, bro, that's like fcking–

Foolish: Just kick the kid out.

Quackity: Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you told Ollie [Luzu's son] to fcking– to just grow up, he would.

Foolish: Yeah, absolutely.

Quackity: That's a horrible question. That really hurt my feelings. OK, Foolish: you have to ask a question now.

[crystal-verse]

god i want. an au where it dosn't work. where it's just arr g'raha who's woken up, and he doesn't have all these memories and all these people keep looking at him like they're mourning someone. the world has changed and time has changed and all the people he knows have changed, but he hasn't changed, he was just sleeping, just sleeping, and the world nearly ended several times and apparently he helped prevent yet another end but he has no memory of this. they want him to join the scions. he does not know these people. (he barely knows the warrior of light, now, but did he ever truly know them in the first place?) his little sister is alive and well. she looks at him like a ghost. she's changed, and she's older than him now. he acts bratty and loud and brash to cover up the fact that he does not know anything it seems, and he is tired but he was sleeping for so long, so how could he be tired?

he doesn't know these people. they seem to know him. he wonders if he'd killed someone, when it was him and not that exarch who woke up. he wonders if it should have been him who was "killed" in that way, if it is him that lives and not that man who had known and become friends with all these figures from legend. he wonders if he'll always be fated to be a historian one step back from everything, because he simply cannot be a hero.

[thebeautifuldaughter]

fascinating to watch how hozier speaking Irish in his new music is making some people: 1. fetishise him further and/or 2. make 'fun' jokes about gaeilge/gaelic/'''garlic'''' bc like. babes. i can guarantee you neither of those actions are separable from the lingering impacts of colonialism.

[ssruis]

Hello welcome to yet another post that was 1) originally meant to be a short thing but it rapidly got out of hand 2) caters to me specifically 3) is all over the place because I kept finding more things I wanted to talk about

The way rui approaches emotions is so fascinating to me bc like. He approaches everything with a very rational/logical thought process instead of an emotional one and he tends to either ignore his emotions or view them as an obstacle/hinderance.

(From his gleaming stars card story)

If he acknowledges that he’s upset or unhappy he tends to just go “oh well. What can you do.” & then berates himself for not wanting to be unhappy. I feel like a lot of that can be explained by his childhood alienation from his peers.

In RMD his reaction to his classmates refusing to take part in his play once he explained the tree jump stunt & them calling him weird is to blame himself:

Little Nene: Rui, what’s the matter? Did something sad happen?

Little Rui: Nene… No. That’s not it. I pushed my show onto everyone and bothered them.

(From RMD - TL by Arven Oven)

Which is pretty telling. To Rui, the issue is that he asked for too much, that he as a person is something that must be tolerated by his peers.

But ultimately he still has faith that he’ll find his people.

Little Rui: …That’s right. People like you, Nene, who would say that they like my shows, surely exist out there. I want to make my own shows. But as of now - I think it might be a little hard.

(RMD)

And he *did* keep trying to find people who would accept him for a while - Wonder Halloween shows that he continued to try to reach out even after the stuff that happened in RMD, but eventually anyone he got a little close to would end up leaving & reinforcing his idea that he was too different from others to form relationships.

(From Wonder Halloween)

I’ve seen some people say him giving up on forming relationships was due to the events shown in RMD, but I think it was more of a result of him experiencing the same rejection over and over again. The definition of insanity is trying over and over again when the result never changes, and despite what his peers may think, Rui is not insane. I think he gradually lost faith in his parents assurance that he would find people who accepted him - he begins pushing Nene, the only person who hasn’t left him yet, away.

Middle School Rui: I’m working on a solo project… but I haven’t found anyone else like you that’s willing to help.

Middle School Nene: oh, I see…

Middle School Nene: then would you like to join the troupe I’m in…?

Middle School Nene: I mean, uh…

Middle School Rui: hehe. It’s nice of you to invite me, but there’s no need to pity me. I’m doing ok on my own, and it’s for the best anyway.

(From Wonder Halloween)

Why he pushed Nene away is sort of left up to interpretation - To protect her from himself? To leave her before she left like everyone else? - but I think the assumption that her invitation is out of pity show that at least part of his decision to push her away was out of the belief that she, like everyone else, was simply tolerating him. If he assumes everyone hates him/is scared of him right off the bat, he can avoid getting his hopes up and being crushed when he’s inevitably abandoned. It’s not unhealthy or detrimental to forming relationships he’s just recognizing a pattern and using it to predict the behavior of others (blatantly wrong).

Zombie Plushies: We can tell you’re just pretending to be friends! Deep down, you’re probably scared and disgusted by us too!

(…)

Zombie Plushies: We’ll never fit in with them anyway…

Rui: …! (Never fit in with them, huh…)

(…)

Rui: When I look at them… I remember how things used to be.

(WXS world link, TL by Haruka’s penguin)

He rationalized his loneliness with “I’m just incompatible with other people” which

1) ow.

2) if he’s incompatible with other people, there’s no reason to get his hopes up because he’ll never find people he fits in with

3) if nothing is ever going to get better, he should be content with being alone. There’s no reason to be sad over a fact of life. It is what it is.

4) being sad over this is inconvenient, unhelpful, and a distraction from following his dreams (on his own)

5) inflicting himself onto others is a selfish desire and he should just keep to himself. “It’s for the best, anyway.”

6) he’s perfectly fine on his own. He doesn’t need anyone for his shows, and he doesn’t need friends.

By the time the WXS main story takes place, he’s already fully convinced himself that he’s better off alone, and that Actually It’s Super Beneficial For Him & His Shows And He’s Fine Like This.

Middle School Rui: Solitude isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.

Middle School Mizuki: huh?

Middle School Rui: In fact, it has had certain benefits for me. It’s given me plenty of time to see plays and to think over ideas for shows, for example.

(Kamikou festival)

Rui: hehe. Unfortunately, we won’t be doing a show together.

Rui: you see, I like to work alone and with absolute freedom to stage any show I want.

Rui: as long as my shows fill my audience’s hearts with joy, I’m perfectly satisfied.

(WXS main story) (“I’m perfectly satisfied” me when I lie)

I feel like it’s overlooked that the only reason rui joined wxs was to get nene in the group. I’m probably going to talk about his continued pushing of Tsukasa’s limits/suggesting insane stunts and over emphasizing how dangerous they are at a later date - and how that was (imo) an attempt to find the point where Tsukasa would hate and leave him too -

(surely this is too good to be true, Tsukasa/wxs will be like all the others -> wait he’s not calling me a freak and leaving ok I guess I’ll go full throttle on the insane shit surely at some point he’ll get tired of me -> he got injured because of me and he’s still here?? what the fuck???? Well now I care about him & this group so I need to pull back I’m not going to get a second chance)

(Wonder Halloween)

- but I would like to briefly mention that Rui literally suggests risking Tsukasa’s life right off the bat & when Tsukasa is like “?? I don’t want to die???” Rui just goes “alright I’m out of the group I guess bye. have fun nene!”

Rui: Don't worry, the device can be securely attached to the stage in a way that will keep the audience perfectly safe. Please make sure you don't touch it or you'll die.

Tsukasa: what about keeping ME safe?!

(…)

Tsukasa: I’m not going to risk my life on-stage!

Rui: but you said you’d perform any role I gave you to, quote, 12000%, unquote!

Rui: I'm afraid that I have no choice but to step down as a stage director. Nene, good luck working with these people.

(Wxs main story)

Unfortunately humans are a social species & emotions don’t follow (faulty) logic so rui *was* unhappy on his own and he *did* want to have friends. Which I’m sure he continued to call himself selfish/greedy for feeling. Rationalizing all of this was a way he could accept/make peace with being miserable (because it must be this way, because this is how it will always be).

Rui: I was the same a long time ago… I gave up on fitting in with anyone.

(…)

Rui: If they don’t understand me, that just can’t be helped, if they disagree with the way I think, that just can’t be helped… I would think like that.

Rin: Rui-kun…

Rui: - in reality, I really did want to put on a show with someone else. But people didn’t understand the shows I was making. On a subconscious level, I convinced myself it wasn’t going to work out and gave up on the idea.

(WXS world link)

(Wxs Journey to bloom animation)

This added scene from the main story animation adds to this - why he leaves WXS did have to do with Tsukasa yelling at Nene, but the reason he doesn’t come back after Nene forgives Tsukasa is because Tsukasa’s self centered attitude is something that antithetical to a belief that Rui thought he’d given up on a long time ago: great shows *can’t* be made alone, no matter how many times you insist that you don’t need anyone else. As much as he denied it, Rui *did* still want to connect with people and be accepted - not just for the purpose of making shows, but to have a place where he belonged. For the first time in years Rui got his hopes up, started believing in what his parents told him, and Tsukasa proved to him that he never should have done so in the first place. Unlike the other times, though, Rui is the one to walk away first. & then tsukasa/wxs do the whole “true feelings” show etc etc we know how the main story ends.

That being said, I think that Rui still subconsciously believed WXS would grow to hate him and leave because he would finally be Too Much. Wonder Halloween showed him that this wasn’t true (Which is why it’s so important that the zombie plushies in the world link performed potato ghost to connect to the other plushies - it’s the show that was performed when Rui fully realized that wxs was not going to abandon him.) but I feel like that only cemented the fact that wxs would keep performing alongside him, not that they were his friends.

Rui also very clearly did not process or evaluate how his childhood impacted him.

Nene: When you talked about the old days, you seemed happy.

Rui: fufu. I don’t mind it anymore because it was so long ago.

(His RMD card story - TL by Rubilia Heartfilia) (me when I lie part two)

After so long by himself, with shows as the only thing he had, I think that having a connection to people *outside* of shows was completely unfathomable to Rui.

Which is why he’s kind of incapable of realizing why the idea of leaving wxs hurts him so much,

(Curtain call)

why he doesn’t realize why he starts holding back in wonder Halloween or why he holds back on the cheer squad,

(Cheer squad event)

And why he’s surprised that wxs cares for him not just as a director, but as a friend.

(Festival bathed in twilight)

I make fun of him for taking a year to finally be like “yeah tsukasa-kun and I are friends” but I think it’s pretty reasonable taking his trust/abandonment issues into account. Accepting Tsukasa’s offer to join wxs (twice) changed his life drastically - he realizes that he can connect to others outside of shows, that it’s possible for him to form relationships with people outside of wxs. Rui just needed to make the choice to accept the outreached hands - not changing the parts of himself that people previously deemed too weird or strange (not that he was ever going to do that anyways) but changing his attitude of “it’s just impossible for me to be accepted.”

Rui: I had always thought that I could never properly understand everyone around me.

Rui: as I started doing shows at Wonder Stage with everyone, my way of thinking and feelings began to change.

Rui: now, I am able to understand and connect with someone without relying on shows, and I’ve come to value the beauty of laughing alongside others

Rui: that’s why — tsukasa-kun. Thank you for giving me the chance to change.

(…)

Tsukasa: but… it’s not only just thanks to me, y’know?

Rui: eh?

Tsukasa: think about it. No matter how many chances I gave you, if you had refused to change, you would never have done so, right?

(Pandemonium, TL by Tsukasa’s #3 fan)

This is also why he tends to berate himself for having the very normal desire to hold on to wxs. He’s never had something like this before, where he has people who accept and love him as he is. He’s never wanted to keep something as badly as this. He’s asking too much of them, he’s imposing like he did with his classmates in RMD, he should let them leave. It’s the mature thing to do. He spent so long on his own, he should be fine going back to that, isn’t it selfish and greedy to want more?

(Curtain call)

(Talking abt wanting to keep doing shows w wxs and his actions in OHE) Rui: Now that I think about it, I’ve been pretty selfish.

(World link)

Rui: (…When the time comes, even I, too, will have to move forward.)

Rui: (…Moving forward, can I do that?)

Rui: (…Geez, I really lack a backbone. When will the time come when I find myself satisfied with the way things are?)

(…)

Rui: (While working to make my dream come true, together with everyone, I will make their dreams come true. A way to do that - let me think of one.)

Rui: (fufu, how greedy of me.)

(Curtain call - TL by Arven Oven & Tsukasa’s #3 Fan) (fuck you ensekai)

I think that, in future events, he’ll (hopefully) come to realize there are more people who will accept him (& get more trust ranks. Please.). I think it’s an impossible ask for him to be completely fine with wxs going their separate ways some day (and the same goes for everyone else in wxs), but I think when the time comes it will at least be bittersweet and with the knowledge that he can find other places to belong & that his relationships with the rest of wxs is strong enough to withstand not being in the same troupe. Things can’t stay the same forever, but change doesn’t have to be bad. Etc etc.