#and im not saying im perfect at media analysis either! no one is!

[4utubing]

☝️

i'm not saying this to be callous or rude, but i think what's hitting a lot of buckt*mmys hard is that they're truly just unable to admit that they aren't very good at media analysis. the term 'media literacy' has become so overused in fandom that i genuinely think people forget what it means- it's a learned skill, something you have to study, something you can educate yourself on by reading papers and books and watching all sorts of movies and tv. they're all so convinced that the breakup came out of nowhere when it could not have been written more clearly; tommy has consistently been shown as an outsider in buck's life.

to claim that "everything was perfect" in 8x05 is so ridiculous i almost don't even know where to start. they had two scenes without eddie: in the first, tommy was incredibly condescending towards buck and and his interests (it's time to put away the screen, you already had your five minutes, lights out evan), and in the second scene buck literally says "my boyfriend won't even kiss me" and tommy responds with "that's not true" but they pointedly do NOT show them kissing. if the audience is meant to believe that buckt*mmy are endgame, it would have made perfect narrative sense to have them kiss right then to show (not just tell) us that tommy cares about buck, boils and all, and they did not do that.

moving onto 8x06, the only clue needed to show us they were going to break up was tommy buying buck lakers tickets. that's all it took. in 7x04 it's made so clear that buck does not like basketball. if tommy genuinely knew buck, he would not have bought him tickets to a sport the show dedicated an entire episode to telling us buck does not like! if their relationship was meant to last, tommy could have bought buck tickets to a fight in vegas like he did with eddie. this would have been a great callback, because it's supposedly the first moment buck got jealous of tommy and eddie hanging out. it would remind the audience that even though buck was jealous, he got tommy in the end and they're now doing the activities he wanted to do with tommy before.

once again, media analysis is a skill. no one is perfect at it, and ofc shows can throw away the book and make decisions that don't make sense. but to claim this came out of nowhere shows a severe lack of knowledge and understanding of how stories are written. the shippers were seeing what they wanted to see and they missed all the signs the show was sending them, and now they're claiming the rug was pulled out from under them.

[thurio-edau]

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

yup, him for part two. funny thing despite Aiden being my favourite character I'm most excited for the other three posts I'll make, especially the last one. there's a lot to unpack here so

also im writing this with a migraine pls read it-

Part 2: Aiden Clark

ah, yes. the obviously-mentally-ill from the start fan favourite Aiden Clark. let's go.

first, I want to start with something I find really important about his character, what makes him heavily mischaracterized in the fandom. the 'psychopath' cliche.

the terms 'psychopath', 'insane' and 'unstable' are often confused with each other due to media stereotypes, such as Aiden here. one, he is not a psychopath. psychopath literally means a self-centered person who lacks sympathy, affection and care; making them far from most other characters in their franchise. their lack of sympathy/empathy often makes them criminalized, here

disturbing content warning, for an example of a psychopath.

let's take Gressil from Homesick for example since a lot of SBG readers also read Homesick. so, here, Gressil is a perfect example of an actual psychopath. his lack of empathy makes him torment others, he's very self-centered. and when asked why he's doing this? he says he was bored. let's look at Aiden here. what does Aiden do when bored? probably dumb ideas or annoy Tyler. not torturing people for fun. Aiden is just a boy who likes thrills, but he has a sense of empathy, care and justice.

you wanna see a psychopathic Aiden?? the canvas is it

(our local Logan hater is publishing the canvas eps go checc beachy out)

but that's him, not our Aiden. canvas does not equal originals y'all

alright, now since we got that cleared out!! firstly, ADHD.

I think everyone in the fandom is already aware that Aiden is ADHD but I'm still going to talk about it just like Ashlyn's autism. Red has also said that she wrote Aiden with ADHD in mind but hadn't canonically confirmed anyone as neurodivergent. let's start with the main symptoms of ADHD, also known as Attention Decifit and Hyperactivity Disorder.

I know about 5 different ADHD people myself and did some research, it probably won't be extremely accurate since I'm not ADHD myself, but I'll try to do whatever I can. first with the AD part, Attention Decifit.

now as seen, he doesn't exactly have any problems with theorizing itself. but the problem is that his attention just goes away easily.

i mean cmon bro was making memes on the job

he tries to do work, but can't. he has a low attention span which makes him not able to concentrate. he can't keep it up for long, he'll get distracted or bored too easily about things that doesn't interest in specially.

it's just distracting. what his attention is on constantly changes, there's more to that after the ADHD part but we're here for now.

the hyperactivity... it's a lot more apparent. but I should explain the insane-unstable thing before that.

insane means that someone's mental health is not in an okay situation, where it prevents the person from thinking normally, acting rationally, very often found together with delusions. the person is seriously mentally ill where it might count as a disability.

unstable, however, where someone is prone to psychiatric problems, has moodswings etc. they're not exactly the most sane person, but they aren't insane either. Aiden here, obviously falls on the unstable side. maybe just a little bit insane if you squint. this will be brought up later too, but it mixed well with his hyperactivity too.

and as we all know, our boy isn't exactly the most stable person. (sorry for the collages, but since there is a tumblr picture limit i have to keep on collaging. yes i learnt from the last time) his hyperactivity mixes with his unstable mindset which makes him incresingly vulnerable to danger- which he likes. from when the first shift happened, he's been really careless about stuff but it's been all about his love for thrill.

and it irritates Tyler, too.

the main subplot about his character is that he's a person of excitement. guess what? ADHD people like the excitement, they like new things, they like the adrenaline and thrill. now, Aiden's main characteristic of being unstable mixed with ADHD makes him an even more reckless person. another thing mixing with the hyperactivity, is boundaries.

this part will mostly be about Ashlyn since the boundary issue only happens with her.

I talked about this on Ashlyn's side on my Ashlyn analysis, now it's time for Aiden's side.

he's really annoying to her at first. Ashlyn is someone with lots of boundaries, like high walls. and who tries to climb them with his dumbass? Aiden of course.

she kept rejecting his efforts to befriend her for some time, until the night they stole the jeep. then she managed to actually bring the walls down, and accept them all into her life. but damn was she blunt.

felt that honestly

and Aiden understands her that night, too.

Ashlyn was hesistant to hug him, yes, he was aware. but she still did which made him realize she was also trying. i have to tell you, people with ADHD and people with autism either have trouble getting along, or go perfectly well. my ADHD sibling for example, I have to push them away for a lot and tell them to lower their voice. but once they remember my boundaries it actually becomes a normal, even pleasant hangout. which, Aiden realizes and tries to get along with. he tries.

seeing his efforts on her boundaries makes something click in her mind. and she starts to be a lot nicer when they hang out in the arcade.

Aiden eventually learns and remembers what she's like and what she loves to do. he already tried to watch her ballet sessions once -got slammed-, he's been to her room where he remembered the mat from and her fighting makes it obvious. I'm sure he knew he'd get cooked by betting that. but he still did,

because he knew it'd interest her. which he succeeded, he saw her smile again. the arcade day went great until Barron and his gang pulled up, but if we ignore that part it all went well. Aiden started to understand and respect her boundaries.

anyways then Tyler fucking dies

he knows that Ashlyn feels guilty. Aiden wants to comfort her through it, but also do it correctly. without going over any boundaries. which makes him really,

really,

really surprised when she responds.

also including this pannel cause its hilarious

here we see that he's still trying. hell, I'm sure he spent minutes thinking if he should come close physically to help her. that's probably why he just nudged her softly before anything else. he's not used to it, he has to conciously make an effort to not cross said boundaries. keeping his voice lower, try to not be so reckless, not doing anything physically close unless she reciprocates. wow how i wish another someone i knew irl tried that hard instead of blaming it on me cOUGH COUGH COUGH

also other small things to include

he's yapping a lot

he has a comically large amount of puzzles in his backpack for one single trip

and sticks his head into lamps for some reason

but that's just Aiden and his little neurodivergent brain for ya.

now the part I wanted to get to the most.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

first, what is Borderline Personality Disorder?

shortened as BPD, borderline is when someone's mood is inconsistent and swinging. think of it's name; the person's mental state is in the border, in the border line, switching up fastly. the most easily understood and common type is when the person goes from a depression to a happy state. but no matter which state they are in and/or go to, one thing stays the same: it is unstable.

one thing about borderline is that it is frequently mixed with bipolar. however bipolar is a neurodivengercy which means it is what someone is born with and cannot be changed. but borderline is obtained later in life. it usually happens with depression. bipolar is much more random and the episodes last longer in comparison. it may last up to hours, and the person's memory might have trouble remembering their episodes. borderline, on the other hand, is a short-lived mood swing.

now here. here's the catch; people with BPD during mood swings can have reckless behaviour, suicidal thoughts -in his case as far as we know, lowered sense of protecting himself- or a loss of understanding danger. sounds familiar?

borderline's recklessness and dangerousness, sometimes self-destructive acts combines with ADHD's love for thrill and excitement, combined with Aiden's own personality all make up for a great condition of instability.

Aiden's behaviour constantly goes crazy, I think his most frequent mood swing might be his normal self (at least, as normal as he could be) to this more maniac way of acting. I noticed it from his eyes, when he's in a more calm-ish normal state his pupils are a bit more dilated. in the pictures above, you can clearly see that he's still in the episode; filled with the adrenaline, the unstable way of thinking.

but, what causes that? surely a mental illness such as borderline doesn't happen on it's own.

right?

cause it didn't.

it never works that way.

but it can get better.

eventually.

but what happened to him?

personally, as much as a large amounnt of people seems to believe it's something like family abuse I don't think so. maybe neglect, maybe withdrawal, maybe maybe. but we've seen his parents. I don't think they would hurt him like that. I can't put any more pictures, but this is the last part anyway. his parents seem to be kind and gentle, despite that picture in his house. I'm thinking the picture was only for the dramatic effect. his parents said that he used to be really calm and quiet during Lily's birthday, and both Aiden and Ben seem comfortable around them. they were happy taking Ben in too, any kind of abusive parent wouldn't do that at least that's what I believe. also there is that Aiden got serious and concerned when he learnt that their parents were also in the facility, most likely worried for his own as you would have thought.

there was a post that I've been trying to find for like half an hour, I commented on it but I can't find the post now. the person talked about their own theory. if I remember correctly it was that when Aiden was depressive as a child, his parents took him to a thrilling activity like the ones he's been talking about (bungee-jumping, skydiving etc.) and the thrill made him actually get excited. which is why his parents allowed him to go even more reckless, because they are aware of how prone their son could be to the depression.

what happened? let's ignore the parents factor. someone can have a loving family and still be traumatized, someone can be taken care of and still feel abandoned, someone can never have confronted a situation they are terrified of.

one of my theories is that, the loneliness. it must get to a child heavily considering children need to not be left alone, but Aiden was. he didn't have any actual friends since they always moved from one place to another from his parents' business, and they might have not had enough time to make for him (which I believe is bullshitting, every child deserves to be taken some time out for. some people quit their jobs entirely for their child.) and be unaware, and that doesn't change that he was still depressed and alone. his depressive state was seemingly before Ben was taken in. now here one thing with borderline, at least from my experience, is faking actions. smiles, laughs, friendships, conversations... almost as if there's two different lives; one fake, and one real. you keep on switching, you keep on swinging between the sides where you're yourself and where you're just mimicking 'normal human behaviour'.

it starts from faking a happy state during their depression, and by time you're faking it it becomes an automatic adition to your personality. to your mind. once it furthers, it becomes the disorder. Aiden we see is always smiling. it becomes a habit that only breaks sometimes. now, I'm not saying his smile is fake- I think his face is literally just stuck like that. it breaks ever so slightly sometimes. fake it till ya make it yanno? that kind of thing. and when he swings from his calm mood to his borderline-d mood, his pupils get small and his smile gets worse. noticably worse. I'll be rereading the series (AGAIN) and this time look at all the small details since Red loves putting them and I love theorizing so

which, wraps up the Aiden thing! im actually really proud of how i could put my thoughts into text which i never could. i'd love any additions because i love other opinions as well.

and you know what? im glad Ash and Ai are out of the place because the rest are what I'm actually looking forward to >:)

...and i should sleep. really.

(wow sorry yall i finished this hours ago and said 'alright reread to make sure its good before sleep' and fell asleep through it lol sorry for 4 hour delay ig)

(leaving for school rn see yall 8 hours later 🫡)

[itooaminthisepisode]

Hi, me again (sorry if this is annoying), but I was wondering if you had any advice on writing fanfics. Cuz i just started, and im having a hard time properly expressing the characters' head space. Or writing dialogues that i feel like the characters would actually say. Again, feel free to ignore this if it's annoying.

not annoying at all don't worry abt it!! glad to help out an aspiring writer!!

and honestly it might sound cliche but my best advice is to read!! see what your favourite fic authors are doing and take note of what you really like about their fics. is it the way they describe emotions? is it their sense of humour? i find that reading a fic with this in mind helps me understand what i want to see in my own fics!!

also, it might sound a little odd but find out what tense you best like to write in. i always used to write in past tense because it's what i was taught, but when i started writing for the house fandom i switched to present tense and it feels SO much easier for me - it feels like i'm actually there, so i can better describe the scene. it might not be the same for you, but i would recommend trying to write a few snippets in different tenses to see what works best!

another thing i would recommend is reading meta posts about your fandoms, specifically character analysis. that certainly helped me when i was stuck with characterisation! alternatively, you could watch an episode or two (or read it or whatever other media your fandoms are) with the express goal of noting down their motivations for doing things. getting to the fundamentals of why a character reacted a certain way, or what made them say a certain thing, is immensely useful.

and one of the best pieces of advice i can give: write what YOU love. don't write something because you think it'll be popular, or because other people like it - write for yourself and yourself alone!! i cannot stress enough how much this mindset helped me. a few years ago i used to get so burned out whenever i tried to write, because i was trying to appeal to the masses with my ideas. all that ended up happening was me getting stressed as hell and never publishing any of it. but now that i'm writing things that i'm interested in and that i enjoy, the process is much easier because i'm genuinely having fun :D

also: don't worry if you think it's 'bad.' it doesn't have to be perfect - it's fanfiction! you're putting it out on the internet for free, and that's incredible in its own right!! plus, i guarantee you that someone out there is going to love it no matter what. try not to compare yourself to other authors either, even if you have an idea similar to someone else - i know it's easier said than done, but comparison is the mind killer. this comic genuinely helped me so much with this:

people will be delighted to see your work!! and don't be afraid to write things that are weird or freaky or a bit out of the box. there's an audience for everything - write for yourself first and foremost, but oftentimes you'll be able to find other people who love the same tropes and ideas and headcanons that you do, and it's great to find a little community where everyone can uplift and support each other :)

hope this wasn't too rambly and i hope it helps!! good luck in your writing endeavours!! <3

[icharchivist]

I am so deeply in love with this new cast of companions already holy shit. I didn't think it sweep me off this easily. And i only unlocked 4 of them so far 😭😭

Spoilers ahead but

Went to check on Neve and Bellara was geeking about Neve's adventures in the papers. Neve was a bit rolling her eyes, and as a Shadow Dragons i could shittalk the way Tevinter's papers are written with her.

Then Neve said she hoped Bellara had read the rest of the papers, and Bellara said she loved those stories that came in the papers, serials, but since she doesnt get access to newspaper a lot as an adventurer, she never could read her serial fully, and it makes her sad she doesn't know the ending.

Without being asked but acting like she was (the tsundere way yaknow?) Neve went "guh fine I'll track down the end of your serial for you", and Bellara just jumped with joy, asking us "i wonder how it ends"

And as a Shadow Dragon again i could just go "it's Tevinter. It always end badly." That Neve approved of going "sorry to break your dreams Bel"

And Bellara was like ":( I'm sure you're exagerating :("

Rook: who's the second most innocent person in a Tevinter story? Likely the killer.

Bellara: >:( and the most innocent one?

Rook: don't know, they die, generally.

Bellara: D:!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!

While Neve and Rook start to chuckle together. Then Neve says she'll go back to Docktown soon amyway so she'll track it for Bellara and "we'll see which one if us is right, and Bellara you'll see we told you so". And Rook offered to come with her, which Neve was all up for.

Leaving the cutscene, a codex unlocks where Bellara shares her wild theories about her favorite serials, and Neve writes back "interestingly thought, and better theory than what people usually come up with. Let me offer you another angle of reflection: notice how the narrator didnt tell us how that thing ended? Suspicious dont you think?"

And like. Im so in love? With both of them?

Because this was the cutest bookworm conversation, the teasing that comes with getting your friend in your fav stuff. The analysis back and forth with Bellara and Neve reminds me of convos I've had with friends where i was on either side of the dynamic.

So Neve being so happy i join her on a stroll and Bellara just overjoyed to have her story just.

It makes my heart burst??? I'd kill for them.??

It makes me notice how in the previous games aside from banters and main story beats you dont really see the companions talk in down time. There's a couple of those in da2 where you catch a conversation ending, and theres the wicked grace scene in dai maybe, but this type of organic "multiple characters being developped at the same time and you're all good friends" cutscenes? No, not really

And it's perfect. I adore it. I would kill for those girls. They're my besties. I want to discuss media analysis with them. I want to be part of their bookclub. Please.

[hurricane-of-jacarandas]

I was going to put this in the tags but f it, Im going to say right here.

In my opinion, the worst part about the death of media analysis is the death of nuance. And again, in my opinion, the characters that suffered the most are parents and parental figures.

I understand we're the two or three generations (x, y, z) that are calling out parental abuse and going no contact without guilt, maybe in first time in history. So I understand that people are projecting their own experiences when writing those stories.

But what people are falling to see is, just because your parents didn't loved you and saw you as an object of their own social influence, doesn't mean that every parent who makes mistakes is like that too. Some parents, I'd dare to say most parents, genuinely love their kids and make mistakes trying to get right. Even terrible and traumatic mistakes. If you think I'm exaggerating, know that Demeter is just one of a long list of parent characters that were unjustly villainized. I swear is the Madonna/ Whore dichotomy all over again, but with parenthood. 'If you are not the perfect parent you are a horrible parent."

Also, the other great victim of the media analysis crisis and the death of nuance, I don't know if there's a specific name for it, but it's not understand that more than one thing can be true at the same time. Using our example:

- The myth of Persephone going underworld, can be about a young woman getting married and moving away from the mother, seeing her rarely and be about a young woman or even a child dying and the mother dealing with the grief and moving literally heavens and earth to bring her back.

- the myth of Persephone can be about the one of the few healthy and equalitarian marriages in the the whole Greek mythology and be about the complicated and loving relationship between mother and daughter. And if you think about it, for the original myth purposes, it kind of doesn't matter if Hades is a good guy or not. Either he is a personification of death or he is the general representation of "future husbands" and some ancient girls got unlucky and got bad marriages, but some got lucky and were happy with their marriage. The story is about mother and daughter and their separation.

- the myth can be about how death and marriage separates mothers and daughters for ancient women, and can be about helicopter sexual repressing mothers for the contemporary women. Meaning you can write the fanfic as you wanted, without trying to change history or claim "that's how it was originally", "this is what it actually meant". If you are making something new, own it.

- least but not less important, Demeter is allowed to be an overprotective, overbearing, overparenting without getting thrown out in the horrible-parent-cancel-her category.

the myth of persephone is about the trauma of the separation of mothers and daughters by marriage and this is the hill i will die on

[still-a-morosexual-help]

i agree that mammon is very respectful and never forced mc but did you need to compare that to levi? im not trying to be rude just letting you know that it put levi in a bad light and levi only thought of it as a chance to stay close with mc through acting so he took it it's not like he did something uncomfortable to mc :(

I never said he did anything uncomfortable. I literally just stated a fact that actually happened in the current event. They obviously have differences in personality & how they approach relationships, it's right there in the game for anyone to see.

I, personally, don't believe Levi's actions put him in a bad light but if you do then that's something you need to take up with the devs not me😭

All that being said, I'm gonna conduct a very mini lesson in character analysis because...;

One way to analyse a character's traits is to compare & contrast them with another character, & in this case Levi was the obvious choice (since Simeon chose to cast MC as Solomon's dead lover in order to avoid conflict).

I'm not even saying one way is better than the other, that's very subjective to the reader.

Also considering how the characters (specially the brothers) act, there's always a high chance that when you're analysing or discussing CANON facts one or more of them are going to come out in a "bad light"

For example:

You discuss Satan or Asmo's major issues (which I have done) and Lucifer comes out looking like a douche

You discuss what happened on the train with Luke in S3 and Mammon comes out looking like a douche

You discuss Asmo's first pact formation and Solomon comes out looking like a douche

You discuss Simeon & Diavolo's first meeting and Simeon comes out looking like a douche

Hell, I've compared and contrasted Mammon & MC enough times and had MC come out in a "bad light". One or two of those times were on consent too

It's common enough when you're breaking down aspects of their personalities or actions and analysing media from different PoVs of characters with conflicts or conflicting ideals that some of them come out looking bad, even though if you take their whole personality they're objectively a good person.

I don't know what to tell you, that's just how it is sometimes 🤷

Again, I don't think Levi's actions in this particular event were bad BUT he has done some shitty things (like they all have) and that's obviously okay because all characters have flaws. A character having flaws doesn't mean they've been placed in a "bad light" either

I'm this 👌 close to going on an unneeded rant about letting characters be shitheads sometimes (or hell all the time!) without expecting them to be perfect & expecting everyone else consuming the media to perceive them as perfect

So the answer to your question is: Yes ^.^

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[theyarebothgunshot]

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

[dunderbread]

rlly I think where people get torn up about fan engagement w squid game is thinking that doing fandom shit and understanding the gravity of the show and its message are mutually exclusive. on the one hand, making memes/fanart/all that jazz is a real fun way to engage w the characters (who are affected by the setting but can also be engaged w for their interpersonal issues), and fan analysis (yes this includes fanfic that expands on the themes of the show) also technically counts as fan engagement. there are ways to make fan content of a show that builds on its themes and continues to explore them – but its also not the end of the world to have a little fun with a piece of media.

on the other hand, I get the sense that people feel the need to “dumb down” their consumption of this show to justify making light of it – pointing out where the writing and marketing is flawed and then saying “just let people enjoy things”. squid game as a piece of writing ain’t perfect but everything about its setup is about the specific desperation that comes from struggling under capitalism – and colonialism on top of that, there’s a reason most of the VIPs are Americans. I think you can have your fandom fun while still engaging w the themes, but I do have to give side eyes at the people who completely sanitize everything because to me feeling uncomfortable with aspects of the show and how you consume it is all part of the experience. Ignoring the real world implications in favor of fandom stuff shows a lack of willingness to engage beyond a surface level, and trying to downplay how serious parts of the show are to avoid these uncomfortable truths is pretty disrespectful. 

as for “let people enjoy things”, im sure we’ve all heard the adage that you need to consume media critically, but that’s kind of what I'm trying to say. The important part is that critical consumption and fan enjoyment doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. make fun stuff with the characters but also think about the message and context of this show, reflect and analyze the setting and characters and how they represent real world issues. essentially: fandom can be a great way to interact w a piece of media, but don’t let fandom detract from letting the themes of this show weigh on you. 

(additional stuff + disclaimer under the cut)

P.S. I think it can actually be really helpful to use the characters as individual people as the basis for more lighthearted content. the characters in this show are shaped by the world around them so you can’t COMPLETELY divorce them from the setting, but I also think character interaction is the best way to make lighthearted stuff because you can make jokes about how characters would interact on a personal level without making too much light of their wider situation, at least in my opinion. its also possible to examine these characters IN their situation and in fact appreciate/understand them more through that lens. 

now for the disclaimer: im mega fucking white. I wasn’t raised in the states but im not gonna use that as an excuse – im writing this as if im speaking to American fans either way. if anyone wants to challenge me on anything I've said im all ears. I dont want this to be a glass houses situation: I like making funny stuff (and ok maybe some of it is kind of gay too so sue me) but I also want to be able to follow my own advice. ok. that’s all

[prettylittlebrownskingyal]

ari how does one provoke u into writing an essay about disaster boy zuko,,, im tryna see sumn 👀

here 👀 we 👀 go 👀 some incoherent but love filled thoughts about Edge Lor— i mean Fire Lord Zuko ((also lots of Azula analysis because she crept up on me this time, eye did not see that coming.))

cuz like, in all of the history of all of the media in all of the galaxies, ATLA has successfully carried out a redemption arc that is not only entertaining to watch but also morally and humanity driven.

but let’s talk about sibling relationships because i am insufferable about sibling relationships 😔👉🏽👈🏽

Zuko isn’t perfect. which— hah, i know— is obvious. but he goes through a journey that allows him to free himself from the conditioning of his formative environment.

cuz honestly (without touching the whole war criminal/fascism bit) he IS a direct product of the family and propaganda run society he grew up in. and with all the Fire Nation kids, he’s been through it.

to extrapolate on this though, i have to mention Azula (and don’t say it, i already know)

there are a lot of analytical takes on Aang and Zuko being each other’s mirrors— and ATLA has definitely written the story that way.

but Azula and Zuko? they’re two sides of the same coin.

their circumstances are identical. their privileges. their opportunities. all basically the same.

its essentially in their differences that they become to wholly different entities.

Zuko is a social pariah.

Azula is a tragic villain.

now me? personally? i blame BOTH Ursa and Ozai for screwing up these kids. and we’re shown that the favoritism expressed by either parent does affect the kid that has to stand by and watch the other.

Zuko is the eldest but Ozai treats him as an inferior in favor of Azula. and its clear that Azula watched Ursa coddle Zuko and reacted in the ways that she knew how. her whole game in the assertion of dominance is to please her father and do his bidding.

she doesn’t have to desire power because she has it at her disposal. she’s a tyrant like her father and often displays machiavellian traits. she’s intelligent. quick. almost unstoppable.

she’s 14 and kicking her brother’s ass physically, mentally and emotionally.

(also hats off to the writers because this is never framed in a sexist way)

Zuko—despite being her big brother— doesn’t ever really have to/get to interact with her like a normal sibling would. take Sokka and Katara for example here.

(also, i can imagine that Zuko watched them love each other so unconditionally and questioned how that was even possible.)

partially, with the way Azula views Iroh, we know that she gains this perception of torturing her older brother from Ozai. (can you tell i’d beat Ozai’s ass up Fire Lord dick face or not i’m throwing hands and he can come C A T C H)

my point here is that Azula is what Zuko could have been. but he isn’t. and this is both a result of concious effort and influence— and yes. i’m talking about Uncle Iroh in all his royal tea loving kookiness.

Zuko has the comfort of having someone look past his cultivated exterior after he loses his mother. (and Ursa’s exit is what really tips the scales for Azula to go on into her tragic villain journey)

and even though his father has undermined him all his life, he holds on to the desire to make him proud. its why he betrays what could have been a new, better life for him at the end of book 2. getting everything he thought he wanted made him realize that he really didn’t want any of it in the first place and that no matter what he did, his father would always be like that™️. this is also good writing!! redemption and changes in behavior especially for a protagonist doesn’t have to be linear. fluctuations make sense, especially as these kids were raised and conditioned in a certain way. like even after he’s cut off at the beginning of book two and he’s out in the world seeing how harsh life is for common folk, he starts to see just how evil his family truly is. that doesn’t deter him from returning to the familiarity of what he’d previously been fighting for.

another thing is, Azula clocked her father’s behavior earlier on. part of why she only really unravels after her friends betray her is that they were all she really had to depend on. Ursa wasn’t there for her. her father never really cared and only needed her around for her talents and she didn’t have Iroh the way Zuko did. she was alone.

what makes this worse is that there are moments when you can tell Zuko and Azula could have potentially been great siblings. its more in the little things here and there— the one that stands out most to me rn is when Zuko bursts into Azula’s room to question her (somewhere in book three) wakes her up and after they talk, he walks away and leaves her door wide open. not to give away the tricks of the trade, but that is an elder sibling power move. oh and outside of playing it up for information or with a mission in mind, they’re both horrible at social interaction ESPECIALLY with people around their ages. this sorta parallels with the way Sokka and Katara are for the most part, personable and easily get along with their peers.

i also just wanna mention that as the chapters progress, we notice a change in both of their appearances. Zuko cutting his hair was quite symbolic of him beginning to cut ties with his past but prior to that, we recognize his previously uncomfortable looking hairstyle as akin to the way Azula doesn’t have a hair out of place when she’s first introduced. As her mental state deteriorates and she gets more attached to the idea of killing Zuko, her appearance and ergo, her hair starts reflecting her inner turmoil. and while this happens, we witness Zuko growing into his appearance to the point where he’s more comfortable with himself— his scar doesn’t bother him as much and he grows out his hair.

adding on to this here train wreck, Zuko doesn’t have any friends until he joins the Gaang. he’s experienced being around Azula’s friends in childhood, but with the way his sister weaponizes manipulation, its safe to say that up until that point, he had no real exposure to friendship. not in a way he could recognize, at least. because we know Mai cares for him and in The Beach episode, we see that Ty Lee does too in the way she insists that she knows him well.

and i’ll be willing to bet that he had no idea siblings could love each other the way Sokka and Katara do. if Lu Ten had survived, he’d have an older brother to rely on. perhaps this would have extended to Azula and the damage that these kids sustained would be much less. ((but that’s a case we shouldn’t crack open cuz i’ll never shut up.))

tl;dr: Zuko and Azula are parallels of each other and also Sokka and Katara, atla is superior media and Ozai is steaming pile of crap.

[kuuderepunkin]

May I please have a match up for Death note and Assassination classroom?

I’m an INTJ, Scorpio,I like to draw/paint and write. When I get the chance to Im very out going but I’m normally very shy and cold at first. I love true crime and psychology sometimes I just watch people to see why they act a certain way I have a very low self esteem and I have problems eating and sleeping, I know how to use people to get want I want and I can change my personality to make the people around me like me a lot better

When I’m in a bad mood I normally just want to be alone and way from everyone except for the person I love or am closest with. I deal with a lot at home so I don’t like being yelled at at all and tend to flinch a lot. When I get comfortable with someone I am very cuddly and clingy.

I have dark blue hair right now and blue eyes, I normally have to wear glasses but don’t if I can help it. My style is punk mixed with grunge. I love dark things but secretly like cute things.

Of course! Honestly I love true crime/psychology too o0o and I feel you on the home life, so I hope these help out at least a little bit <3  I hope you enjoy these!

Death Note matchup:  L Lawliet

 I would match you up with L for a couple reasons, you’re both analytical and observant of people, your interest in true crime and psychology obviously interests him as well. And your initial shy or cold personality does not bother him one bit, he’s a patient man and highly observant himself. He is very interested in your appearance as well, it’s quite unique and draws his attention immediately. When he first sees and approaches you, it’s a bit awkward, because he kind of just stares at you which may be a bit uncomfortable. 

Your first meeting was probably a public police press conference, it was discussing the current growth in unexpected and unexplainable strings of deaths attached to criminals. 

As always L was there just in the background despite being the one who wrote most the police reports, when he spotted you in the crowd. 

You had probably heard about the case on the radio or news and became curious about the details, being a fan of true crime you wanted to see what the police investigation had turned up. 

As the press conference went on you began to feel uneasy, when you caught someone staring at you. It was unsettling at first but the moment the dark haired male caught you making eye contact with him, he approached you. His piercing eyes just bore into you as he remained quiet, the two of you just standing there in false silence as the detectives began to talk about their leads in the case. 

After that long awkward exchange L finally speaks and bluntly tells you he likes your hair and the “manner in which you dress.” 

He curiously asks you about your opinion on the case, if you tried to cater your personality to fit a discussion with him I think he would catch on to the flexibility in your disposition. 

L is very interested in what you have to say about the case, any outside perspectives are always riveting to him. If given the chance he is very excited to tell you about his personal theories on the case. 

Before the two of you go your separate ways he asks for your phone number or other means of contacting you. And to ease your suspicion of his strange mannerisms he tells you who he actually is, because the time he spent talking with you he decided there was no chance you would be involved with the case, so revealing his true identity wouldn’t jeopardize anything. 

It doesn’t take long for him to become attached to you, and he invites you over often to talk about different true crimes and analyze different people in deep intellectual conversations. He really enjoys having someone to discuss these topics with, let alone someone he finds himself becoming attracted to. 

Even before the two of you become an official couple he will point out that you haven’t “eaten the proper amount of food necessary to sustain the human body.” And he does not hesitate to get you some food, insisting that it’s important for your mind and body. 

Sadly, he is also not the best when it comes to getting rest, so sometimes he will make a compromise, he will join you in trying to get some much needed sleep. If it’s not just because you fail to get sleep, but have trouble falling asleep he will do his best to find solutions for you. 

He’ll make you tea, rub your back, play with your hair to lull you to sleep, and if you’re up for it he will cuddle with you to make you feel warm and secure. 

L never yells so you don’t have to worry about that at all, besides he’s so patient I feel that it would take a lot for him to become remotely upset. And if someone else is raising their voice he is quick to deescalate the situation. He’s also not a fan of people being loud, and if you’ve told him about your rocky home life he does not tolerate people making you upset. 

And while L may not seem to be the type to be into affection, he truly adores it, but he never rushes into it. Especially understanding you are more introverted. Once you become comfortable with physical touch he will always crave to be near you. Not always in extremely obvious forms of affection, but he enjoys sitting next to you with his legs touching your own as your arms press into each other. 

He will intertwine his fingers with yours as the two of you sit beside one another. He loves when you lean your head on his shoulder and sometimes he will put his head on your own. 

When watching television on his couch he loves being the big spoon, or just sitting up and having you sit between his legs with your back against his chest. I feel he may be a bit touch starved but he only craves being near people he trusts. 

I can see him watching you from the side as you draw or paint only to sneak up and gently take your glasses off and put them on, curious as to how it feels to look out of them. He gives them back after checking himself out in a nearby mirror. 

Contrary to belief he is not critical about everything, by this I mean he is never critical of your art. He is curious and observant and will ask questions but he will never give his own opinion unless told explicitly to do so. 

He appreciates your creativity and believes putting any kind of critical analysis on something you care deeply about, that has to do with self expression, is counter productive. 

He also loves getting you gifts, it’s a mix of both your grunge/dark aesthetic and your love for cute things, somehow he finds the perfect things to get for you. Anytime he has to leave you for a job he sends gifts to you to remind you he’s constantly thinking about you. 

Assassination Classroom matchup: Karma Akabane 

  As for Assasination Classroom there are a lot of good candidates, so choosing a single character to match you with was a close call. Nagisa is a great match for intellect and psychological discussion but his well mannered behavior may prove difficult in breaking through your initial cold exterior. Karma on the other hand is quite smart despite not initially putting his full effort in the series, and his edgy aesthetic and personality would be a great match for your own grunge/punk style. Talk about power couple, he will bring out the best (or worst) in you. He’s slightly teasing but he knows where to draw the line because his intention is not to make you upset just to see your reactions. 

If you have even an ounce of sass in you, he’s going to help draw it out, making remarks about others and having you join in makes his heart grow 10 sizes. He’s so proud he can have the effect of making you more confident, even if it’s just because he’s around you. 

While he hates to admit it, he’s pretty smart if he would just put the effort in. So while you discuss your interests in criminal cases and psychology he will do his best to entertain you without revealing too much of the intellect he is in public. 

Luckily in private he doesn’t care how much he shows off his intelligence, he will hold long discussions with you about different people you’ve seen and the two of you will pick apart their personality and analyze every aspect of their possible psychology behind why they act the way they do. 

When the two of you watch a movie you often discuss the characters and maybe how ridiculous the plot is. He’s a savage and will tear down the villains in the media because of how ridiculous they can be. It can get to the point where he’s analyzing the writers at some point because “who would write such a two dimensional character? They’re not even likeable.” 

He will not let you neglect your health and will constantly remind you to eat and keep hydrated. Sometimes it sounds like he’s nagging but it’s because he doesn’t want to seem like too much of a softie. 

And as for your sleeping trouble’s he’s not going to let those slide either, he’s going to be giving you massages, running you soothing baths, preparing you some tea and bed time activities to help you unwind. 

If you’re down to let him cuddle he’s going to do everything in his power to lull you to sleep, tactical hair brushing, rubbing small circles to your arm. 

If people yell around you he’s going to go into dark Karma mode and just be little them to the point they have crippling anxiety and just leave the two of you alone. He tries not to be too confrontational around you because he doesn’t want to make you anxious. 

But he’s your body guard and won’t let anyone say or do anything that makes you nervous.

In public he’ll let you cling to him, but he insists he’s just being a good supportive boyfriend, and not that he loves to have you attached to his side. 

He slightly teases you about your love of the more cute things, but he bought it for you so he obviously cares enough to make you happy. It just really gets him going to have you be expressive, whether you’re telling him off or blushing from the teasing he’s happy either way. 

[inkysqueed]

You might say it was... a machine for pigs

jokes aside, im no fan of the game (never played, feel neutral on it) but your analysis reminds me of a thought I've had here and there. Maybe I've become a little jaded with 'media being produced as a series' as a whole but I wonder if sometimes it's best to make one or two things for a setting and then let it rest a while.

or to make a standalone game. no sequels, no prequels, no dlc-- leave people wanting more for a while. you know how many people have been wanting a Legend of Dragoon anything?

...for pretty much as long as I've been alive!

sorry for hijacking your post btw. I feel like A Machine for Pigs is maybe trying too hard to recapture and/or perfect what made Amnesia: The Dark Descent so wonderfully twisted. Even if I've never played either game myself-- I see tons of fanart and fanworks for Amnesia: The Dark Descent. I do not see nearly any for A Machine for Pigs.

The discrepancy is noticeable even to a non-fan.

every time I see anything A Machine For Pigs related I get the urge to become a video game YouTube essayist for real so I can complain about it

[cabbagezonk]

can y’all stfu

deadass nothing is woke enough for tumblr freaks is it. like being aware of a piece of media’s flaws is fine/prob a good skill to have, but something ppl seem to forget is that not every piece of media will touch on every problematic issue

someone talks abt racism but doesn’t discuss how lgbt poc have it worse? #cancelled

someone talks abt sexism without devoting the entire convo to racism? #cancelled

contrapoints, a trans woman, makes a video about terfs, goes out of her way to acknowledge the privilege she had being amab, well-off, and white? sorry, didn’t discuss it long enough and should have been meaner to terfs (even tho sometimes the goal isn’t to alienate EVERYONE who disagrees w u y’all)

examining things intersectionally is absolutely a crucial part of understanding these issues. white feminism ignoring the struggles of woc is absolutely a problem that shouldn’t be ignored. lgbt communities ignoring trans ppl is a problem too. people with privilege trying to meet racists/sexists/homophobes in the middle isn’t something to ignore. BUT we shouldn’t shoot down anyone who doesn’t convey their message perfectly either. instead of looking for reasons to tear someone down at the first sign they’re Problematique™ maybe listen to their point FIRST and see if it’s their point you don’t like or just the way they said it. again, this isn’t a free pass for fucking covergirl or gillette or fucking nike to be #woke, im just saying that maybe you should consider that people aren’t perfect, and maybe they can discuss one issue (and MENTION connecting issues as is often the case) without full depth analysis of the other issues as well

im not saying you can’t have a discussion with whatever media creator/regular fuckin person you have criticism of, it may be beneficial! maybe they hadn’t considered your perspective before and can learn for the future! BUT if your discussion isn’t going to be productive, then you need to learn to leave ppl tf alone. don’t even get me started on she-ra or b99 or fuckin steven universe, but looking at fucking discourse abt contrapoints bc even she isn’t apparently #woke enough is honestly sad. is she perfect? no. does she speak for the entire trans community? no. but that doesn’t mean that with such a large following, she can’t still influence ppl for the better and give them a better perspective on trans people than the one they get from broader society

anyways some of y’all need to get off ur high horse once in a while lmao

[shushvera]

*toy story shark vc* howdy howdy howdy ! i would like to make it known i’ve been unabashedly eyeing this since it opened ! anyway ! i’ve lost my ooc intro groove so we gonna move down to my ic intro down below:

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, VERA FLOROS. you’ve been here for TWO MONTHS? awesome! you look just like MARINA DIAMANDIS, it’s crazy. oh, so you’re a 30 year old ‘FORTUNE TELLER’/’MUSICIAN’. and you’re FEMALE and use SHE/HER? okay, just checking! oh, people say you’re INTUITIVE & DILIGENT but DECEITFUL & RASH? well, i’m sure that you can prove yourself here. you’re looking forward to the HALLOWEEN celebration? that’s a good one, you’ll love it. i have to get going now, bye! [fleur, 19, est, she/her]

i would like to start by saying i’ve played vera once (1 time) before and it was,, so much fun,, the dumbest smart person to exist. i’ve tweaked her bg a little (because..... that’s what happens when you read lucille ball’s autobiography that was SUMN.....), but ! who cares !

update: this got rly long so there’s a tl;dr at the bottom if that better floats your boat !

INTRO-WORTHY STATS

aka, stats that aren’t that deep™

FULL NAME: Vera Floros DOB: August 17th, 1989 AGE: thirty FROM: Abergavenny, Wales OCCUPATION: “fortune teller” & a musician who doesn’t understand marketing ORIENTATION: bisexual CLASS: middle class ( that inheritance kicked in ! )

BACKGROUND: 

CHILDHOOD

triggers: parental death, brief mentions of child abuse

alright, vera was born to a very young couple in wales. they’d gotten married fresh out of high school and had a child (her) just two years later. that being said, for about two years after, her mother began distancing herself from the father... not because he was a bad guy, but he moved cities entirely and she was NOT about that.

to be perfectly redundant, for about two years, it was just vera and her mother. 

grandparents weren’t about their daughter being married. at 18. did they help pay rent for a separate living space? until vera’s mom was 21, yes. but was she welcomed in their house? lmao!!!!!

THEN her father blew back into town. they reconnected, they both began working more so that vera’s mother didn’t have to rely on her own (we’ll get to her dad’s parent’s in a second). 

vera, at the Tender Age of Three™ learned that she was a complete Daddy’s Girl™. although she loved her mom for obvious reasons, she connected with her dad on an entirely different level. he was fun! he was playful! he was young, but he was the perfect dad! he even told dad jokes! which she didn’t get until she was five because three year olds usually aren’t that smart! they did little ‘acrobatic’ things! it was cute and fun and good!

but? this is a roleplay character?

our man died from unexpected heart failure. the autopsy showed an abnormality that hadn’t previously been discovered, and we know our man rarely went to the doctor. vera was six at the time.

her mom: married at 18, mother at 20, widow at 26. 

because she and her mom had never developed that Close Bond™, it was difficult for her mother to figure out how to... like... keep her from wandering around... because just telling her not to wasn’t working... so she was like “you know what.... a leash.”

we love ‘puppy’ by george saunders

so whenever her mom was at work and vera wasn’t in school, she was tied to a tree in the backyard.

cruel and unusual punishment!

eventually, her mom kind of just... threw in the towel... she left completely for a change of pace. she said she would be back and that vera would be under the care of her father’s parents in athens until then.

her father’s parents had always been more accepting of the young marriage. they’d been more supportive of them being young parents, in spite of her father having left for a while. they’d definitely been supportive of vera and her mother during that time because they were like “omg mood”

there were a few other kids under their care, all related or not. they did some work for her father’s parents, but nothing very laborious – just sort of... Bonding™ ja feel?

so her mom DID keep her promise and returned three years later when vera was nine. mind you, vera had never held any feelings of resentment towards her mother. when she was six, she... just didn’t get it. at nine, she was old enough to be like “i get u.”

BUT her mother DID get remarried. she didn’t resent her for that, but... she was not fond of the new husband. he wouldn’t accept the ‘dad’ title, was very stern, very serious, made her mom seem like an absolute joy, etc. 

but her mom was in love, so what could she do? and then they had a son together, so what could she do? nothing.

that summer, to learn more Discipline™, vera was sent to live with her step-father’s parents in london. boy howdy, it was nothing like her father’s parents! they had a knack for pointing out flaws, induced actual laborious work, constantly quoted the bible at the worst of times, and thought that a single head nod was the equivalent of “good job!” there were a couple of other kids there too, but yikes.

TEENS ( *hang ten emoji* ) + COLLEGE

triggers: brief domestic abuse implications

early was filled with Drama™ surrounding her step-father’s parents and her step-father himself. the overall consensus was that he was not a dope dude, nor were his parents. vera’s mother filed for divorce and gained sole custody of their son (keeping in mind.... she basically already had sole custody of vera.... considering she was her only legal guardian left lmao)

after the divorce was filed, vera’s mother was like “u kno what. my parents hate me. my first husband is dead. my second husband was a douche. i have no reason to be here anymore.” so they went to the land of golden opportunity

but wound up in america instead

(joke patented by dr. doofenshmirtz)

vera, around sixteen at the time (y’all i’m figuring out ages as i go along bear with me), now attended some strange high-school where they were like “fahrenheit.” 

by the way! it was in holiday! that’s important to note for possible future connections!

it wasn’t an unwelcome change, though. starting over... was nice...

but the problem was that she was like her father in that she always acted before she thought... which made her a very dumb smart person. 

alright get ready for the single idea that drove this entire thing:

she majored in philosophy then was *pikachu shocked face* when she realized there were no jobs out there for philosophy majors.

ADULTHOOD

alright... so what do you do when you have no good opportunities for things in your major?

you would think you would do something like... idk... find a well-paying job that doesn’t require a major?

or maybe a job that just requires experience in ___?

or maybe a job that just requires a bachelor’s degree of any sort?

or maybe a job that doesn’t require a major, but would like a major similar to yours, thus giving you a leg up?

etc.?

lmao no. you go to new orleans and become one of many phony fortune tellers using the one good thing you got from your weird upbringing: easy analysis of body language.

in addition, you try to make something of your life through music, but have no clue what ‘marketing’ is because you really don’t understand social media and probably still have the egg as your twitter profile picture.

what do you mean print is out of style?

what do you mean no one listens to CDs anymore?

what do you mean garageband isn’t acceptable to record on?

that being said, it’s not like... she wasn’t good at it... i mean she was v good at it... but musician is in quotes because she has made NOTHING of her LIFE with it. DOES NOT UNDERSTAND MARKETING.

*sonic kid vc* WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? *end vc*

she got some decent pay from being a ‘fortune teller,’ though. tourists totally flocked and using a fake russian accent helped, as did... just speaking a language they didn’t know while pretending to contact spirits...

at least she’s a good scam artist

can’t market very well, but could probs create the next big ponzi scheme

returned to holiday when she heard news from her brother that her mother had fallen ill.

honestly rest in peace.

is still around because... that’s her home! sentiment! also rip!

also marketing isn’t as hard in holiday so???

also testing fortune telling out in holiday is more interesting so???

DOPE.

PERSONALITY

either really dumb for a smart person or really smart for a dumb person.

still has a childlike trait tbh. i mean when ur growing up just laying beneath child labor laws, ur gonna have to become a kid again eventually.

really bad at technology for reasons unknown to... everyone, but really good at scams.

has not thought before she acted even ONCE.

hasn’t used her degree since she was 22. the closest she’s come is buying some misc. philosophy books and sharing tidbits with strangers. 

“now this is a taoist anthem” - vera @ ‘soak up the sun’ by sheryl crow

so many ragrets.

will find a way to bring up she’s half greek in every conversation. 

“and i’ve had mental illness since i was in middle school. good night.” - that video someone edited of professor tox

im so bad at personality sections but she’s got a fun one y’all one of the few characters i’ve played who’s had a Sad Backstory™ but wound up being a Fun And Comedic Character™

TL;DR

that was my first time ever writing this whole thing out, so it got real long. so we gonna give a tl;dr:

triggers: v brief mentions of parental death, brief mentions of child abuse, v brief implication of domestic abuse

born to a v young couple in wales. dad was like “brb” then he did, indeed, come rb. loved dad. but dad died when she was six lmao get wreckt this is a roleplay character.

mom was like “idk what 2 do” so she took notes from george saunders’s ‘puppy’ and just tied vera to a tree when she was gone adjsflka. went away for a while and vera stayed with her dad’s parent’s in greece. came back three years later and reunitedanditfeelssogood.mp3.

got married tho and vera was like “i don’t like this guy” and mom was like “i’m having his child.” lived with his parents over the next few summers. they almost violate child labor laws. like. just a hair more. hare? became source of any self-hatred lmao get wreckt

vera’s mom and step-dad divorced bc he was horrible and they moved to holiday when she was sixteen. she left for college when she was eighteen. she decided to major in philosophy which was a bad idea and the source of her entire character. 

decided to become a phony fortune teller in new orleans instead of... idk... just getting a job that didn’t require a degree or sumn? pretty successful tho! talked in a fake russian accent around tourists bc? why not? 

also did/does music but has no idea how marketing works. bad at social media. records things on garageband. an overall fool. good but a fool.

back in holiday bc mom died lmao get wreckt we’re an orphan now boizzzz

Sad But Rad™

WANTED CONNECTIONS

it’s 2:38AM as i write this part and i still have to go back and include a stats thing bc i love those then post ic but i’ll update this w/ some when im done i suppose?? but we do love brainstorming in this house!!

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

[davearcilla]

REFLECTION JOURNAL

By:Dave SanJuan Arcilla

MODULE 6: Forms and types of Creative non fiction

In this Module lete share to you my thoughts and what i learned about MEMOIR, BIOGRAPHY, AUTOBIOGRAPHY, TESTIMONIO LETTER, TRAVELOGUE, LETTER, REFLECTIVE ESSAY and lastly REPORTAGE and how this things will help Me and be useful In my future let me define or said what are the things i learned about them.

I want to share what I've learned about MEMOIR, BIOGRAPHY and AUTOBIOGRAPHY i will compiled them as a group because they have similarities. According to what i have learned Memoir also known as biography or autobiography, the memoir form is probably the most recognizable form of creative nonfiction. Memoirs are collections of memories, either surrounding a single narrative thread or multiple interrelated ideas. The memoir is usually published as a book or extended piece of fiction, and many memoirs take years to write and perfect. That's how i can explain what I've learned about them i hope that i explaines it clear

After saying what I've learned about Memoir, biography and autobiography lets move on to the next topics thats discussed in this module

TESTIMONIO LETTER im educated or teach now that testimonio letter is a form pf creative non fiction that is generally defined as a first-person narration of socially significant experiences in which the narrative voice is that of a typical or extraordinary witness. Now i have knowledge about what is a Testimonio letter is.

TRAVELOGUE according in what i Learned this travelogue is a person’s account of a journey to another country or place. It can either be a written report with many factual details or a narrative story about personal impressions and experiences supported by images thats what i learned about Travelogue.

LETTER according on what i interpret and based on what ive learned in this module a letter is a written message that addressed to a person or organization. Letters often contain personal thoughts and opinions, but they are directed at just one person.

REFLECTIVE ESSAY according to what i understand basically reflective essay is a type of personal narrative in which writers share insights and observations about life thats all for reflective essay now lets move on to the final topic of this module which is reportage.

REPORTAGE after we discussed it i know now that Reportage is sometimes refers to the total body of media coverage of a particular topic or event, including news reporting and analysis because report means stating facts so thats what i learned about reportage in this module.

I hope i explain single one of them according to what I've learned about them i hope that you can gain knowledge in this blog now lets move on to the last Module.

[jooheonies]

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE