#and im like ok now this actually feels personal

[plummy-squish]

THIS IS MY NEW RELIGION!

Im going to go off topic then come around.

Growing up Mormon i was so sick of this expectation put on me to be perfect, especially being perceived as a girl in the church. There is this look i needed to present, vibe i needed to give off, and value to give especially the men in my life. They also demonized feeling emotions and making mistakes and learning from them. I genuinely stopped me from being me and i didn’t even realize.

It also irks me when a guy says he wants to “leave behind this legacy”. They often are thinking of this movie characters saving the world, or pulling this huge heist, or having lots of money and fame and this huge personality. I feel like they grew up being told if they don’t do something great with their lives that it was meaningless. And they are always the worst guys to be around, always talking about the future and feeling depressed about who they are right now.

If we go into a room with others we have to provide value to it always and especially with a personality and experiences we just aren’t or don’t have. And that’s ok! We will make ourselves miserable doing that.

CANT WE JUST BE HUMAN?

If you want to do something great with your lives that’s fine but i hope that comes from a genuine place of desire. I feel like it’s been engrained into us to do something and be perfect. And that’s just not realistic of being human. Most of us won’t live up to that and all of us aren’t perfect. I wish we would place more value in contributing to a room or the world the ways we do best.especially in this capitalist society we live in we are told we have to do something.

If you look a Brennan now he’s doing just that. He’s created this community of people that provide value because they are able to be them selves in this community. Therefore providing more than they would have force to fit into this box people make up. (If you want to think of it as providing, i like to think of it a thriving). He has unintentionally created this so called legacy by doing what makes him happy. (If we all strived to do what actually made us happy we would “contribute to society” more than we will if our goal is just to contributing to society. But also there is just value in being alive).

This need to fit in a box set by others and to avoid being perfect has limited growth but especially happiness for me. I think there is beauty in enjoying life as we are and living for the day to day moments not in what we contribute to others. Why can’t we just believe we are valuable because we are alive?

There is beauty in uniqueness, there is growth in enjoying living, there is art in imperfections.

“Can’t i just be me? Is that not allowed?” -messy by Lola young

feeling so many feelings about all of this

[marinettesaltprompts]

Marinette Salt Prompts: Truth and Lies if they did it again.

Ok so I just saw Ilustrhater today and I ... well I feel that this prompt writes itself doesn't it?

After Alya left with Nino to go investigate the new wielder of the Butterfly Miraculous, Marinette was left alone with Adrien. Sure, Marinette was unsure about what to do, but it would be fine! All she had to do was talk to him ... right?

Well, that seemed to be impossible for Marinette. Unable to talk to her ACTUAL boyfriend, Marinette decided to run off, having used a nearby fire as an excuse to transform, leaving Adrien alone at the cinema for two WHOLE hours because transforming and running off was TOTALLY better idea than asking Adrien what he wanted out of their relationship.

Of course, she was REALLY sorry when she came back to find Adrien still standing there and the movie had already finished, so she tried to make it up to him by bringing him to a nearby cafe. Hopefully that would fix the rest of the day...

Only for that to fail when Marinette once again was unable to talk to her boyfriend. Having ordered some wierd cookies and having accidentally kicked Adrien under the table, she decided to run off again and transform to help Sabrina with a cat stuck in a tree.

It was coincidental that an akuma chose to appear sometime after and Ladybug was there to stop it, but by the time she had detransformed, the ENTIRE DAY had passed without a single bit of communication with Adrien.

Sometime later, Marinette invited Adrien out to another movie, but when he finally got there, Marinette was shocked to find that he had no interest in watching a movie. Instead, he was here to break up with her.

As Marinette and Adrien stood over a bridge, Marinette was starting to tear up as Adrien explained he had no interest in this relationship anymore. Between having lost his father and having been in a prior relationship with Kagami, Adrien told her that as much as he cared about Marinette, he was not willing to put himself in a relationship where his S.O. would run off on him like that, especially since he had already done that to Kagami unintentionally. He missed his father, sure, but he could not forget how his father practically avoided him for most of his life since his mother's death.

Of course, Marinette tried to talk him out of it. Saying that she cares for him, that she had a good reason for running off that day, that he was someone very important to her, but Adrien was having none of that.

Adrien: I still don't understand. Why would you run away? We were supposed to spend the day with each other and just have a good time.

Marinette: I just .... im sorry.... I have no idea how I'm supposed to act in a relationship.

Adrien: Well... admittedly I don't really know either, but I thought that we could have tried to figure this out together. That if I just spent the day with you, I could figure out how to be good enough for you.

Marinette: We still can Adrien. You are good enough, great enough even! Just please ... stay with me. Trust Me.

Adrien: I... I can't. When you left me alone that day... I felt like I lost my family again for the third time. First my mother, then my father, and now the person I love went out of my life. You're telling me to trust you, but how can I trust you when you run off like this? Can I trust that you will stay by my side when I feel the same way? I.... no. I'm sorry Marinette, but this is over. Between everything that happened and now this... I don't think I can be in love again. Not for a while.

Adrien left Marinette in the twilight of Paris, not looking back even as the Heroine of Paris wept and grieved.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Ok so how are we feeling about the Diaz parents

(Full disclosure I don’t like them. I mean you see your son and he tells you he was with the exact doppelgänger of his wife and you don’t stop and think: “Wait this actually might be a cry for help maybe we should stay here and help OUR SON and his son” )

oh i absolutely fucking despise them both as people and as characters

(get ready this is gonna be a long reply

for context, i have to talk about the bts of it all

the way the show handled the whole situation w gavin’s restricted filming schedule due to his family moving really pisses me off as a whole because like- he barely showed up in s7 anyway and no one questioned why we were getting fewer chris scenes bc we as a fandom understood that gavin is getting older and his family moved and thus that creates some scheduling conflicts; so the logical solution would be to just give him less screentime like may and harry as he gets older (even though yeah, it sucks but it’s better than the alternative we got)

but instead of just doing that, they chose to have eddie go off the deep end (and not even for a good reason because nothing about this plot has furthered his character in my honest opinion- 806 did absolutely nothing for him that wasn’t already done in previous arcs and it just felt like “oh we have to give eddie something after hyping him up all season” so they shoe-horned that arc in and it fell completely flat for me.) just to give them an excuse to send christopher away on screen rather than just giving him less screentime to work with gavin’s schedule.

but as far as the diaz parents of it all; it honestly ruins the quality of their characters within the story bc now they’be gone from bad parents who stick their noses into their son’s business a little too much and don’t understand him to now being complete comic book super villains who are hellbent on making their son miserable for their own gain and it’s like… for what reason?

bc before this happened, even though i think the diazes are awful parents, i do think they genuinely love their children (hell we even had that whole plot in s5 w eddie and ramon coming to a little bit of a reconciliation) but tim minear has been using this philosophy of “shock value and drama are more important in this show than the actual storytelling” so he just completely threw out the love that they do have for eddie to replace them with these evil heartless characatures of themselves looming over the narrative.

like i personally have a rocky relationship w my own mother- she’s a super conservative christian woman and im a socialist nonbinary gay person, but at the end of the day no matter how rocky pur relationship is she still loves me and would never do anything to intentionally harm me for her own benefit.

so yeah- i hated the diazes as parents before but they at least were decent characters in eddie’s story, but unfortunately s7/8 have just made me completely hate them even as characters bc tim and the writers have just ruined the dynamic they had going bc they would much rather infuse shock value and cheap, unearned drama into the show to grab people’s attention rather than take the time to create a meaningful story that would in and of itself provide sufficient room for drama within an actually enjoyable narrative.

overall… im super disappointed with how all the diazes have been written since 707… even eddie. it feels like they took a character who has so much potential for interesting storylines snd turned him into a narrative punching bag, snd have kinda turned him into a watered down version of who he used to be all in the sake of cheap tv show drama- and as an (obviously) eddie diaz stan, it disappoints me that my favorite character and his arc are being treated so poorly by the writers to the extent that a story and character dynamic i used to relate to so well has been destroyed in favor of hamming up the plot purely for shock factor purposes (if any of that made sense i’ll be shocked by im literally typing this w one eye open im so tired)

i’m sorry this may not be the exact kind of answer you were looking for but your ask hit me right while i was actually thinking about all of this and i just had to share my whole thought process lol 😭 thank you for the ask bestie <3

[brucebabener]

god im still suffering from the consequences of switching from lexapro to wellbutrin and im just pissed at all of my friends for no good reason but also kind of good reason???

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))

My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can

and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.

[moeblob]

A lil guy !

[realbatberntruther]

ok so im on a rush but it goes something like this:

Bernard is an EMT in Gotham at first, wich then escalates to finishing his education to be an actual doctor, mostly done by the recommendation of both Leslie and Alfred because, while they can manage all the batfam injuries, they´re not inmortal, so they need to know someone will take care of everyone when their moment comes.

In this AU Jason and Damian, by some ungodly reason, get along with Bernard; this is mostly based on some fics i´ve read that i like, so we keep that :)

At some point, both Jason and Damian gift Bernard some weapons in case he ever needs one; Jason gives him either a Kimber micro 9 or a Colt 1911, engraved with some patterns in the handle, while Damian gives him a pair of daggers, the leather in the handle the same color as his eyes, with an engravation in the blade on a lenguage Bernard doesn´t understand.

As time passes, Bernard decides to be part of doctors withou borders, both to help where help is needed and as a way to test his knowledge and abilities.

Let´s say that one year and a half passed once he came back to Gotham, and another six month pass until Tim proposes.

Bernard is all over the moon at the prospect of getting married to Tim, and he has´t been this happy in a long time. But as always, this doesn´t last forever.

Just one week before the wedding, Tim dies, supposedly, in a plane crash.

Not only Bernard is devastated, the whole family is, they just lost a son, a brother, a friend, and the crime in Gotham doesn´t stop, so they have to handle all that at once.

Bernard was still assimilating the news when he finds out it wasn´t an accident, it was planned, and oh boy

Bernard, instead of communicating this to the batfamily and, idk, maybe process grief in a healthy way, goes straight up to Shiva, Ra´s, literally anyone who´s willing to train him without asking too much questions, because he has shit to do

in this AU, i had the idea of Ra´s helping Bernard because one of his men betrayed him and helped kill Tim despite his order to NOT, so he agreeds to train him in order to take care of that. (be aware that im not expert in the interpretation of whatever a character would do something or not, but this is what works for the AU, so please bear with me)

After 5 months or so of training and collecting information, Bernard makes his first move

That´s how the batfamily found out that Bernard had left the country, because after the death of Tim they had been so overwhelmed and trying to find a new normality that they didn´t even realize they hadn´t seen Bernard in person for months

Bernard´s first stop is in Japan, mainly for two reasons: he needs someone there to make a katana for him (kill bill inspired), and the first person on his list is also there (also kill bill inspired)

He´s also there to get his suit, but the how is mostly unimportant. His suit his white, reassembling what was supposed to be his wedding suit. It´s, for the most part, similar to the one The Bride wears in Kill Bill, even the shoes.

The fact that Bernard actually succeds in taking out the first one on his list is what puts to alert all the other ones because, yes, for Tim to die the collaboration of twele people where needed

Some facts of Bernard in this AU: he was in a pain cult, so he is no stranger to what it feels like to hurt so much, but after Tim´s death he starts to intentionally hurt himself, not as a punishment, but as a training for what's about to come. The fact that he trained himself to tolerate pain to the point where he doesn´t really feel it is what tells the 12 killers this guy is serious. It only got worse once they realized that oh shit, this is the groom of the guy we killed

The first 4 try and fail to kill him directly, the next ones were more smart about it

I have many, MANY thoughts about how this AU would go, specially considering the amount of people Bernard would need to kill in order to get vengance, but for now this is all i´ve managed to write.

I wanted to make some drawings of Bernard, thinking that, if this was a comic run, it would be cool to have Bernard and the killer in the covers; the more people he kills, the bloodier his suit gets.

If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to add! English is not my first lenguage, so i may have some mistakes, and i apologize for that in advance :]

My Kill Bill Bernard AU has stopped being an AU and at this point is just a whole independent history with an OC based on Bernard and The Bride but idc

[evelynpr]

Might be a hot take as a bkdk and tgck truther here, but I find izuocha endlessly fascinating, beautiful, but also tearfully tragic.

I see their love for each other as something representative of their innocence and naivety when they only knew so little about who they were, and what was to come.

I think the main barrier of their relationship is that its rooted in how they see each other very idealistically, specifically that they're attached to the image of their Best Heroic Selves, and not the deeply selfish, destructive, freaky, and egotistical parts of them. To each other, they need to keep fulfilling that image or else that same person they looked up to would almost die in front of them, and that would be too cruel. Although that hero is still there, that same person they looked up to is not the same now because of...well...everything.

Izuku had barely even talked to girls when he first met her. She was Izuku's first ever real friend (Sorry Kats, everyone and him knows he was terrible), so he saved her in that entrance exam even if it was so dangerous. She gave a new meaning to his derogatory nickname just by being a friend that believed in him. After that, she saved him several more times (Blackwhip and Megaphone are the biggest samples iirc). It makes perfect sense that she is Deku's hero.

Ochako hardly knew what it meant to be a hero when she first got into UA. Just by reaching out to some kid tripping, she made a new friend who would then save her in that exam, then save him again in return. This boy then became someone who was always working so hard to save everyone in trouble, and she realized she wanted to be just like him too. "I want to save people"

But...Deku changes. The weight of One for All is on his shoulders and he needs someone to carry this burden with him. He continues to want to save other people at the expense of himself, still not letting his true selfishness and ego ever show- and it only grows more and more unbearable.

Then...Ochako fell in love with Himiko. Truly, relentlessly, selfishly and devotedly in love with a girl who then dies giving her blood to her- the greatest expression of love Himiko could ever give.

Not that they can't love each other because of this happening (and...so many other things oh god), I'm honestly not sure how to explain it- But them ending up together after losing that innocence and naivety? After Ochako will forever grieve the girl who showed her love in its most beautiful and ugly form? After Izuku changed so fundamentally as a person that the butterflies of a nice girl talking to you doesn't exist anymore? After that simple image of being a hero and being in love has completely changed for them both?

Even so, I believe they still love each other. There is no label I know of that can properly describe them though. They are each other's image of being a hero when it comes to saving people. Aside from Shoto, no one else can grasp the grief of the person you tried to save dying in your hands. They would no doubt try to cope with these losses together, and just try to get better together...but so much has changed. They've changed. The world changed. What are they now? Who are they now?

"What happened...to us?"

[averlym]

fairest of the fair

[willyhoos]

you know for someone who loves metamy so much. i gotta say having it be fully unrequited is honestly fitting with metal's whole arc (or rather his LACK of arc)

he wants what he can't have. he's not anything or anyone, he doesn't deserve it. what would he even do with it?

"i don't think i have anything. i don't think i can have anything. i don't know how to have something." (src: 17776)

whether or not you subscribe to the roboticized metal theory, it doesn't change that metal's goals are not aligned with reality. ironically it's the robot that is unable to logically analyze his situation. he wants to be sonic but it doesn't change the fact that he isn't. he wants to win but it doesn't change the fact that he won't. his desires are narratively and morally unfulfillable because what he wants is wrong (factually and ethically.)

and so if he, in theory, wanted amy rose how could he ever actually have her?

the most she would give him is "you're more like him than i thought."

because he's Not sonic. all he can be is sufficiently Like him (sometimes). whatever metal claims he is (and honestly whatever he ACTUALLY is) is irrelevant because he can't MAKE himself sonic. he can't make himself the version of sonic that amy loves. amy loves sonic for WHAT he is (good) not what he's named. the most she could ever do is passively appreciate the traits of sonic that metal is able to imitate. emulate. simulate. fabricate.

sonic's role (in the meta story and in-universe) is so unique and treasured and irreplaceable. the only way to kick him out would be to, idk, replace him with an identical copy and put the old sonic in a lose-lose situation where he could not possibly be believed or sympathized with. or something.

say he gets "rehabilitated," rebels against eggman... you know those metamy fics. what is he then?

-> another job well done. another good deed for team sonic (y'know, the real one).

because it's not just that he's Not Sonic. (and he isn't. even if you believe he once was, he's not anymore in any way that is relevant to the narrative. the narrative, as you know, is the real sonic's pov.) it's that he's not even really a person anymore.

he's been forcibly depersonalized, dethroned, removed from his role (+ promptly replaced with something canonically better!) and isolated from any semblance of humanization. he doesn't even have a mouth. either it was taken from him or he was never given one. and we are not given any glimpse into his thoughts. (they're not important.)

like. this is a dead end. he is a dead end. there's nowhere to run.

he won't "get the girl" (pardon the term) not because he's evil not because he's not sonic but because he is not a "person" in any sense. not literally not socially not narratively not practically not really

idk. whether metal falls in love with amy genuinely, or if it's just out of jealousy/desire to want what the real sonic has/instinct to emulate the real sonic's emotions... it's doomed. he's just a ghost from a doomed timeline and everything he will ever do is destined to fail. he can't kill sonic. he can't hold amy's hand. he can't do anything but lose.

in that sense, metal "losing" amy to the real sonic (as if metal was ever even a contender, as if he was ever real enough) is just another failure in a long, long string of mostly unpleasant memories of a character who doesn't even get to go by his real name. because someone more important took it already has it.

[kuroo-hitsuji]

I somehow only Just noticed how Lucifer's wings move when he laughs in Surprise Guest interactions and I'm. Kind of obsessed? Like that's inexplicably adorable what

I've been due for some wings brainrot for a while now, hoping this one sticks around for a while afhsfjsf the tails got more than their fair share of my attention i Need to be spinning the concept of wings around in my brain at all times for the next three months At Least--

(Bonus hc infodump in the tags bc I have minimal self restraint)

[fairiencarnate]

Why did no one tell me that the "chemical imbalance" theory has largely been disproven, that serotonin and dopamine can't cause mental illness on their own? Why have all mental health professionals been pushing this idea as fact? I've always thought the whole BPD diagnosis was bogus, just modern day hysteria slapped onto (mostly) women with complex-PTSD. Almost an official gaslight, like "your trauma wasn't traumatic enough to warrant the PTSD label so we're going to act like your brain is malfunctioning". So I'm not surprised to find all this out.

Can we finally begin a trauma-informed approach toward mainstream mental health shit? Especially mood disorders? Let's not rule chemicals and hormones out entirely, but let's acknowledge that trauma and genes have far stronger ties to mental health.

[cultofthepigeon]

im still trying to beat dd1 even though i spoiled the ending for myself cause im bad at it/wont get the same excitement and sense of joy from the ending like everyone else/watched multiple people start the game after me and finish it before me

but anyways if someone catches the crimson curse under level 5 and unles i desperately need them for the dungeon, i just toss em. single handedly just infesting the outside world with bug vampires. youre welcome everybody 👋

[michaeljoncarter]

ALSO, like with just about everything about wyll in the full release version i m o, the way his interactions with mizora throughout the game were just sorta ported over without much tweaking to make them fit in with the new version of his character is so weird and clunky and just.... uncomfortable

the fact that mizora was mortal in the original version of the story was kind of an extremely important detail that not only wyll's entire character quest but also their entire relationship and history hinged on. the ea version of mizora was half-human, not a full devil, and according to dnd rules as i understand them, that means she would've had a regular human lifespan. (eta: yes, she's still called a cambion in the full version, but my issue is at some point between ea and full release, all the differences between cambions and devils apparently just up & vanished) so if ea mizora and ea wyll, who were around the same age, met when wyll was 17, that means they met when mizora was also somewhere in the range of her mid/late teens

there's obviously still an unhealthy power imbalance there with her being his patron and all, but there's a pretty big difference between a teenage boy being manipulated by an equally as young teenage girl into signing a pact vs a teenage boy being manipulated by a fully immortal & presumably-already-grown-at-the-time woman into signing himself into her service

and the flirty/sexual dialogue being left in makes this 100x worse. originally, mizora and wyll were explicitly in a romantic relationship that had just ended right before the game started (like literally right before. as in he told you that the nautiloid snatched them up WHILE he was in the middle of giving her his breakup speech (lmao)), but there is literally ZERO reason for the full release version of their relationship to have such a weirdly charged undertone to it??

you can't just take the dynamic of "toxic high school sweethearts who just had an insanely messy breakup 3 days ago after dating for 5+ years" and slap it onto "grownass woman who manipulated a teenage boy into signing his life away to her 5 years ago" with zero acknowledgement of the fact that that changes literally everything??

like sorry, this isn't just petty exes bickering anymore. this is now reading as nonstop sexual harassment, and to someone without the context of this happening due to a messyass rewrite (or even with it tbh), it's weird as fuck that some characters get entire arcs dedicated to unpacking the trauma that comes from being trapped in this exact dynamic, but with wyll, neither he nor the player ever get a chance to try to stop it or even really acknowledge the fact that it's happening in any significant way

the sloppiness of this whole rewrite is actually insane to me

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[rbtlvr]

u know the one thing i will say is. and obviously there will be exceptions i havent seen Literally Everyone On The Internet. this is just in my experience. but the one thing i will say is. everyone ive seen who DOESNT like spoilers is super chill abt ppl who dont mind or do like spoilers. like yeah u do ur thing ill do mine etc

and i personally know plenty of ppl who do like/dont mind spoilers and are totally fine but like. i have also seen... a non zero number of people who act like the ppl who would prefer to go into things blind, like, killed their family