#and if you think he's a trans guy but accept not everyone sees him that way that's awesome keep that up

[jinbeisluffy]

I see so many posts over different social media platforms about sexuality/gender hcs for the strawhats and i want to add in my own two cents because i believe im very correct (but anyone’s opinion is valid so long as it doesnt go against canon coding)

Luffy - the most aroace and trans guy to ever BREATHE. i dont mean aroace in that hes somewhere on the spectrum where he can still be attracted to people, because he cant. this guy had never grasped the concept of romance and never will, because theres no reason for it to him. hes trans because i say he is, i dont have many reasons for THAT but its just the signals hes sending me. trans to trans communication trust

Zoro - gay. thats it thats the post. no but i dont ship luffy with anyone but zoro is just attracted to literally any man who is strong, thats his criteria and thats all he ever needs. is he aware of it? not at all, he has no idea that its not normal to get bricked up by the thought of other men

Nami - i havent seen a bigger lesbian in media ever, genuinely i dont think any other character is as obviously lesbian as she is. she loves girls unapologetically no matter what, supports all girls at the end of the day (cough kalifa) . i also hit her with the asexual beam because i can, specifically demisexual because i THINK so

Usopp - while i wanna consider kaya, i wanna consider sanji too and thats making me lean between bi or omni even if omni is a label under the bi umbrella. its more a question of if he recognises his preference for men or not, because he does prefer then at the end of the day. the ace beam bounces from nami to usopp because he too doesnt feel anything and doesnt think about it either

Sanji - oh my god where do i begin. maybe just the blatant queer coding of wci as a whole?? of course hes attracted to women, thats not an aspect you can remove or just toss around to being something else. he loves and respects women, but he is so QUEER. all of wci is just queer coding, its a queer story and sanji is a queer character i will die on this hill. he probably has some kind of gender issues too, what specifically? no clue, but he likes people of multiple genders and is in deep denial about it all the time he wont ever truly accept it but he can one day as a treat live with that fact

Chopper - oh hes a reindeer he cant really have a sexuality DID WE FORGET THE FACT HES HUMAN TOO ISNT THAT LIKE HIS WHOLE THING, NOT BEING A MONSTER BUT ALSO A HUMAN. HE IS BOTH? i dont have any specific labels to slap onto him, just that hes a people lover and encourager of literally everything. ace beam bounces onto him too

Robin - trans trans trans trans trans trans trans trans you will accept robin transfem into your life right here right now. she can like anyone, she has no label on it, she just likes people and cant bother with genders or anything like that. the ace beam actually skips her because if they were doing a hear me out cake she’d be the one putting all of the crazy things. freak. (lovingly)

Franky - HOW TRANS CODED IS IT NOT TO REBUILD YOUR OWN BODY TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE IN A WAY YOU WANT, BUT GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU LOVED ABOUT YOUR OLD SELF, AND EMBRACING IT. literally, trans goals. he modified his body and went i might as well give myself top surgery and an awesome dick while im here!! sexuality wise hes a lover of everyone, but he has preferences for women (robin) but encourages all bromances (with brook)

Brook - THIS IS WHERE IM MOST PASSIONATE!!!! people can say that hes the token straight grandpa. but theyll never understand the joy of old gay brook had a romance with his captain, the joy of brook trying to subtlety let the other strawhats know he accepts them (he isnt subtle at all and everyone knows). look at brook in drag twice for no reason and tell me he isnt queer, in some way. the ace beam finally hits someone and its brook, insert skull joke here

Jinbei - very specifically old gay man who didnt really do much throughout his youth, he always knew he liked men but he never had TIME to do anything, too busy being awesome and a father i fear. now that hes with the crew he isnt automatically gonna seek anyone out, but hes also not gonna restrain himself from finding interests in people, hes being more selfish now and thats good for him. finally the ace beam hits jinbei and proceeds to fly off towards other op characters that i might talk about some other time

can you tell im asexual and love projecting onto characters with it !!!!

[casiavium]

All of these "who has more anything gender!" polls are just. white man without extreme body builder muscles v white man without extreme body builder muscles. The gender is "masculine" stop pretending it's universal

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?

[kazumirambles]

THIS.

UNPOPULAR OPINION: Comparing Vil Schoenheit to Trans Characters in Anime, Manga and Games — Forceful pushing of headcanons and why Vil is a better character in canon as a cisgender (gay) male

DISCLAIMER: this essay is aimed at those who find it entirely acceptable to shove their headcanons down others’ throats with the threat of crying wolf (i.e., “if you dislike this hc you’re transphobic”, etc.) should they not comply. For those who simply headcanon Vil as trans and acknowledge that canon and other headcanons can exist with (and without) their approval, this essay is not aimed at you and you are perfectly valid.

Notes: Title may be slightly misleading as there’s really only one comparison, and being a cis character does not necessarily make one “better”. However, given Vil’s character, the mun views that Vil has a far bigger impact in terms of plot, hence the title.

Many of us like to suggest headcanons for our favourite characters, some to make the character even more interesting, others simply to relate to the character further. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with fun headcanons here and there, the forceful insistence of fans in recent years that their headcanons are absolute to maximise their own comfort has become a glaring issue across many fandoms. In particular, the subject of LGBT+ headcanons has been especially touchy, as minorities use the discrimination against them to their own benefit and, ironically, suppress the opinions of others. One such headcanon is that Vil Schoenheit of Twisted Wonderland is transfemme, or even a trans woman, as he uses the pronoun “atashi” (typically used by women and girls), and is perceived to be traditionally feminine. However, such a headcanon not only fundamentally ignores the very basis of Vil’s character — breaking gender stereotypes as a cisgender white male — but can even be taken as sexist. To prove this controversial statement, a comparison with other notable transgender characters, either confirmed by canon or heavily speculated on by fans, in other anime, games and manga is needed.

First and foremost, the idea that Vil is transfemme or even a trans woman is shallow and unfounded. While Vil indeed uses the pronoun “atashi” in referring to himself, a pronoun typically used by women and girls in Japan, “watashi”, the pronoun that “atashi” is (presumably) deprived from, is a gender-neutral pronoun used by both genders, though for men, both “watashi” and “atashi” are usually used in a casual context by stereotypical feminine gay men or drag queens. Throughout the story, there was absolutely no indication that Vil has issues with his own gender. In fact, it seems to be the very opposite, he is incredibly comfortable and confident in his own masculinity, which is why he has no problem doing things that are traditionally seen as feminine:

“Next, lotion. As guys (lit. with us being high school boys, アタシたち男子高校生), our skin tends to be oilier so applying too much only makes things worse.” (Main Story Chapter 5, translated by j-mee on Twitter)

“There’s no such thing as “men only” or “women only”, whether it’s clothes or dance.” (服にもダンスにも「男専用」「女専用」なんかない。) (Main Story Chapter 5, rough translation by patchy)

Epel provides as a foil character in this case, having stated his dislike for his cute and “girly” appearance multiple times, as well as wanting to be in Savanaclaw due to the athletic nature of the dorm rather than Pomefiore:

“I really... I really wanted to get into the wild and brave Savanaclaw instead!!” (Ceremonial Robes story, chapter 1, translated by twstarchives)

Epel clearly thinks that Pomefiore is too feminine for him, and only puts emphasis on his unwanted cuteness. While Vil being transfemme or a trans woman would certainly be progressive for Japan considering its conservative nature, Vil being a fellow cisgender boy is certainly far more powerful in delivering this response to Epel. They’re both white and cisgender, yet while Epel only sees his adorable baby face as a weakness, Vil sees his own beauty as his strength and capitalises on it. It is precisely why he is so careful to maintain his appearance through dieting and impeccable makeup:

“I've not once neglected my health. And no one on my Magicamera account, which mind you has over five million followers, has said anything about it.” (Vil’s Lab Coat SR, Part 1, translated by kibadreams)

Having grown up in the entertainment industry and showing no sign that he wishes to retire from it, Vil’s “otherwordly” beauty is one of his greatest assets, and as such, he complies with the industry and all its standards, and is unashamed to do something like dancing if it can potentially further his career. Vil is no Azul, but he is still a businessman in the sense that he knows how to advertise, promote and market himself to the masses. To insist that Vil is transfemme or a trans woman erases the meaning to his actions, and instead reduces him to a shallow figurehead based on how traditionally feminine he acts (use of pronouns, way of speaking, behaviour typically seen as “feminine”, etc.) instead of focusing on his relationship with gender presentation and his rejection of traditional gendered labels as a whole.

Arashi Narukami from Ensemble Stars, while not officially confirmed to be trans, provides a good comparison, though many often compare them on a surface level to try and force Arashi’s character onto Vil’s or vice versa. Aside from their shared use of pronouns, professionalism and both having careers in the entertainment industry, the two characters cannot be any more different. Unlike Vil, Arashi has stated her views on her relationship to gender identity multiple times, albeit they are rather inconsistent due to the different writers of Ensemble Stars having varied interpretations of her character. She repeatedly calls herself a “maiden”, a “girl” and a “big sister”, and insists on others using the “-chan” suffix for her rather than “-kun” (the only exception seeming to be fellow unitmate Izumi). She has also stated her internal conflict with her gender, which one can interpret as Arashi wanting to transition but unable to do so due to her career in the modelling and idol industry, as well as the unwelcoming attitude held by Japan in regards to the LGBT+ community:

“I’m honestly envious… No matter how much I want it, and no matter how hard I try… I could never become the beautiful woman I dream to be.” (Gacha story “Beasts — Centre of the World” part 7, translated by euni2319 on Dreamwidth)

Due to the ambiguous nature of the “okama” label, a derogatory one used for both drag queens/crossdressers and trans women alike, it is not clear whether Arashi truly is a trans woman unless canon states otherwise. However, there is certainly enough evidence in the story to argue such a case, especially with the English localisation of Ensemble Stars using she/her pronouns for Arashi. In contrast, Vil’s behaviour is more in-line with an “onee” type character, or a stereotypical feminine gay man, which is surprising considering that the Twisted Wonderland fandom, in all their hope for LGBT+ characters, fails to pick up on. As stated above, “atashi” is a pronoun often used by drag queens/crossdressers and stereotypical femme gay men, the latter of which Vil seems to fall into the category of due to the homoromantic subtext of his relationship/friendship with Rook Hunt. Many of their interactions can be perceived as romantic, even more so due to the stance that both Disney and Japan have on homosexuality, mainly either with unvoiced distaste or being acceptable as a fetish/strange interest due to the forbidden nature of homosexuality in Japan:

“Nevertheless, Rook's eyes are more accurate than any scale. Even more than a mirror, perhaps.” (Vil’s Lab Coat SR, Part 2, translated by kibadreams)

While Vil and Rook’s relationship does have homosexual undertones, on Rook’s part more so than Vil’s, Vil at the very least relies on Rook and trusts him greatly. The above quote is just the tip of the iceberg.

Vil’s character can be seen as a twist on the stereotypical “onee”, one that is written and taken seriously as a direct comparison to how the character type has been commonly used for comic relief or otherwise unimportant side characters in past works (Garfiel from FMA, Magne from MHA, though a trans example of the stereotype, and Otokosuki from DBZ). The implication that Vil is gay by partially conforming to behaviour expected of feminine gay men yet being a serious and hard-working perfectionist (i.e., having a personality not centred around comic relief) is arguably a big step in Japanese anime, games and manga.

Sexism and even ageism in the Twisted Wonderland fandom is unfortunately nothing new, towards all genders. Non-female creators and yumes struggle to garner an audience without yumejoshis, particularly unusually possessive ones, feeling threatened by their very presence. Adult fans are criticised simply for playing the game despite that their in-game payments are what make the game profitable enough for younger fans, most of which do not earn income and thus cannot fund in-game transactions, to continue enjoying Twisted Wonderland. Yana herself has become the scapegoat for Disney Japan, being blamed for any issues regarding the game’s storyline despite that not only are the Disney Japan executives the ones giving the final approval, Yana has been working while ill due to the gruelling and even abusive nature of the anime, game and manga industry in Japan, where artists, animators and other staff members are overworked to produce the smallest bits of content. Fans, especially those often discriminated against in their own countries, have developed an unfortunate habit of using their statuses as minorities to avoid criticism and responsibility for their own actions, going as far as to deflect criticism of their irresponsible behaviour onto the critics and paint them as the aggressors. Anyone who does not view Twisted Wonderland in the same view of unrealistic progressiveness more commonly expected of Western cartoons is shunned and their actions deemed discriminatory. The fandom has evolved into a space where the prey become the predators, the hunted become the hunters, and the oppressed become the oppressors, all in the name of establishing equality and equity.

Ultimately, we are all fans of Twisted Wonderland trying to enjoy the game in our own ways. Our comforts are unique and distinctly different from one another, and no one’s comforts should be prioritised above that of others simply because one is in the minority. While the fact that people have become more and more comfortable taking pride in their own identities is certainly something to be celebrated, we should not be taking this as an opportunity to alienate those we so much as remotely dislike just because they belong to a certain race, gender or age group, particularly twisting oppression against vulnerable minorities to do so. Frankly speaking, none of us have the right to force our own interpretations of canon onto others, minority or not, and doing this simply reinforces one’s narrow mind and self-absorption.

[genderkoolaid]

I feel like you would get this, seeing this comment section kinda hurt. The OP they are responding to is a non-binary trans man who was talking about feeling uncomfortable because they still feel attraction to lesbians and have felt very excluded. He’s wary around certain lesbians because they center their ideology around hating men regardless of gender identity and has faced a lot of anti-transmasculinity and transmisogyny. While most lesbians are wonderful amazing people there’s no denying that some do hold an innate hatred for men, not saying they need to like men. I fully understand lesbians and predatory cis men but there’s definitely lesbians who would date trans men. It can be scary for a trans man to come out or start transitioning because at what point do they become too masculine or too much of a man for their friends. There were even people in the comments saying the same anti-man statements who identify as a he/him nonbinary lesbian. This topic is very hard to hear for me as a closeted genderfluid person because my best friend is a man hating lesbian and I dread the day I can actually begin transitioning and she turns her back on me like these people. Queer spaces in general can be hard to occupy as a multi gendered person because of those people as well as mlm/nblm spaces that say ‘fem aligned dni’. In general I don’t think we should police labels and everyone has their own interpretation and I think labels are just a suggestion anyway but I suppose that makes sense for a genderfluid bisexual person.

These people just straight up do not understand the gender diversity that has always existed in lesbian spaces (by which I mean spaces built & catering to queer women & those seen as women).

There have always been trans men in lesbian spaces. You aren't obligated to fuck them, but they have always been there. There are pages and pages of writing out there not only by trans male dykes, but by the lesbian cis women who love them and still identify as lesbians while in relationships with them. There are trans guys at dyke bars right now as we speak having a great time.

Its not surprising to me that there are he/him NB lesbians supporting this. There are a lot of people out there who, because they don't identify As Men, mentally distance themselves from those who do despite any similarities. It's okay for THEM to be lesbians, and it's transphobic to erase THEIR lesbianism because they are Non-Men™! but once you cross that line you become the enemy. It's very "no you gyns I'm TOTALLY different than those gross tbros i promise im not a man at all and i will never want to be one so im allowed in the club!" The same people also throw multigender people under the bus. Trying to figure out your nonbinary in this environment is hellish (I speak from experience) because people pretend like they are super accepting of nonbinary people, until you realize that if you ever think of yourself as even slightly male people will start seeing you as a predatory invader trying to Force Lesbians To Date Men! Very "complex gender for me but not for thee"

Anyways. Twitter is not a good place. Anon, I hope you find better friends. Not every queer space is this hostile to us, I promise. There are people out there who genuinely work to make our community better and I hope you find them.

[stinkysam]

Vinsmoke Sanji - Oh boy.

Warning : none

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : "Sanji falling for an ftm „he / they“ reader and feeling conflicted not only because that’s the first time he ever realized he liked a guy but also because he never even FLIRTED with a guy (...) And all in all just being awkward and waaaaay overthinking this just because he’s very much a confused newly discovered bisexual as well as „first time trans ally“ and is trying his best. Extra points: Reader immediatly knows what’s up and is just like „lol. : )“ because he thinks Sanjis awkward fumbling is adorable, before he puts Sanji out of his misery and goes „I like you. Wanna go out on a date sometimes?“" - anon

Reader : male (he/they/you)

A/N : Part TWO

Sanji likes women.

That's a fact everyone knows.

Or thought they knew.

So you can guess his surprises when he realizes his feelings for you ; a man. Not believing he could think such things with you !

Why is he caring who you're looking at ? Or why does he suddenly care about the way your eyes shine ? Or how you smile and how cute it is ? Why does his heart beat faster each time you compliment his cooking, your hand gently resting on his chest ? You could probably feel the way it was pounding under your palm.

He goes through a small stage of denial. And thinks he's being an asshole because he still sees you as a woman. Which he doesn't but his feelings make him think he's being transphobic and he absolutely hates it.

Because you're a man and he sees you as such. So when he finally realizes he's not transphobic but just bi he relaxes a bit.

And now he's scared. Because what if you don't feel the same ? Right ?

Or worse ? What if you think what he thought ? That he's being a transphobe and still seeing you as a woman ? What if he starts flirting and you see it disrespectful ?

Wait, how does he even flirt with a man ?

He doesn't know how to do it with any man, or with you, for that matter. You don't flirt with a man the same way you flirt with a lady. Right ?

Would you like to be called handsome ? Or perhaps pretty ? Or is pretty too feminine and you'd prefer handsome ? Or maybe you don't mind and like both ? Would you like flowers ? He wouldn't mind receiving them so maybe you wouldn't mind either ?

God, why is it so hard flirting with a man ?

He's really uncertain so he prefers to start with compliments. Your clothing, your hairstyle, your fighting…

He wants to start small in hope you see it as him being serious with you.

When he eventually starts flirting he's still really shy and unsure, fumbling on his words and stuttering.

The sentence he had prepared for you leaves his brain the second he opens his mouth.

But then !? You flirted back ?! You winked at him and invited him for dinner at a restaurant on the island you stopped at ?!

W h a t ! ?

He feels his heart burst in his chest. Just simply exploding. BOOM.

He's at a loss for words as he tries to smile. How does one smile by the way ? He's so happy he forgot. He's so sheepish he almost doesn't answer, giggling a little before finally accepting your offer.

Suddenly he's hoping he didn't read it wrong and you really flirted back.

"No, because, they could've invited me to be nice. Or maybe he also invited the others as well ? What if it's just not us two and I come with flowers like a fool ? I have to ask them. But will I look stupid if I do so ? …" He thought to himself.

"Um, just to make sure we're on the same page, [Name], it's a uh… d-"

"Date, yeah. Tomorrow night." You say with a small smile, slightly proud of yourself as you look into his eyes.

You swear you could see the way the air got stuck in his throat as he stopped breathing.

"Okay." He started, still sheepish. "Good." And with that he turns around and leaves. He doesn't know where he's going but he's definitely going somewhere. He needs a walk to calm down anyway.

Not that the food was bad the other times but you ate extra good this evening. You had plenty of choice and even Luffy didn't know where to start.

[atimeofyourlife]

We've met before, it's different now

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: modern au | rated: t | wc: 995 | cw: mentions/ fear of transphobia | tags: modern au, tinder au, trans steve harrington, transfem steve harrington, trans eddie munson, transmasc eddie munson, pre steddie, first date, t4t steddie Steph is back in Hawkins for the first time since coming out as trans. Robin convinces her to get back on tinder, where she finds Eddie. He's familiar for some reason, but she can't place why

Steph couldn't place how she felt as she laid on Robin's bedroom floor. It was her first time back in Hawkins since coming out. Since her parents had kicked her out, saying that they would never see her as their daughter, she would have to accept her place as their son, the sole Harrington heir. She'd left with Robin for Chicago, where she could reinvent herself. Become the woman she knew she was. But they were back in Hawkins for Christmas, and Joyce and Hopper's wedding, which was happening early in the new year.

Really, she didn't know how to be Steph in Hawkins. Anyone who was unaware of her transition didn't seem to recognize her, even people she'd been friends with in a different time. She'd been right behind Nicole, a girl she'd once dated, in the grocery store. And Nicole turned and looked her straight in the eye and asked if she was new in town. Mark Lewinsky approached her in the parking lot and offered to take her on a date. And every time someone looked at her, she wanted to make herself smaller. To hide away and put on a mask the way she had in order to survive high school.

Now, she was unsure if she wanted to do anything with her time, or to just hide in Robin's room when she wasn't needed elsewhere.

"Come on. I've updated your Tinder profile with new pics and everything. Even if we just sit here and swipe through everyone. But you never know, you might get something out of it." Robin said, dropping onto the floor next to Steph. 

"Fine." Steph rolled her eyes and held her hand out for her phone. She flicked through the photos Robin had chosen. A lot of her favorites, including a thirst trap from the boudoir photo session Robin had gifted her for her birthday, nothing too risque, everything was covered in a bodysuit, but it was a photo that made her feel confident and sexy every time she looked at it. "Okay, lets do it."

The first few were various guys she knew from school, a couple of girls mixed in too. She swiped left on all of them, not that interested. The first one that made her stop wasn't one she was interested in dating. But she was shocked to see Carol Perkins pop up with her interests set to men and women.

"There is no way Carol fucking Perkins is interested in girls." Robin said from where she was looking over Steph's shoulder as she flicked through the photos.

"Tommy's in most of the pictures. I bet they're looking for a third." Steph said, swiping left. "But they know that no self-respecting woman would get into that mess if they knew Tommy was involved, so Carol it is."

"You told me that you had a threesome with them?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, but that was before I knew I was a woman, and at the time I had very little self-respect." Steph replied, and continued swiping.

Robin had got bored of watching Steph swiping through Tinder, so had moved back to her bed to text Vickie. Steph stayed on Tinder, yet to swipe right on anyone, but then one guy caught her eye. A guy with long curly hair, named Eddie. He seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place him. His bio said that he was in a band and played dnd. There was something about him that made her swipe right. She didn't think anything would come from it, and tried not to think on it.

A few hours later, she checked her phone to see a notification from Tinder of there being a match, and Eddie had sent her a message.

Hi. I don't really know what I'm doing with this. I'm back in town for the holidays, and my friends said I should make a profile to try and meet someone. But you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.

Steph giggled and blushed at the message. It took her a while to figure out how to respond.

I'm back in town for the holidays as well. My best friend updated my profile for me and said I should start looking even if I swiped left on everyone. You seem pretty cute, and I would love to hear more about this band you play in?

Steph felt that she and Eddie really hit it off, messaging each other for a while everyday. They talked about almost everything, and were even planning a date at Benny's. But Steph couldn't help feeling nervous. What if Eddie couldn't accept her being trans? What if everything went wrong and she got hurt, or outed, or worse?

She decided on a basic outfit, a comfy sweater over jeans. Feeling that anything fancier would make her overdressed for a date at a diner.  She still felt nervous, but she was sharing her location with Robin so someone would know if anything went sour.

On the date with Eddie, everything felt so real. Time seemed to fly by, and they were talking for hours. She found out that he was also living in Chicago, so they could continue to see each other.

"I graduated from Hawkins High three years ago. I hated everyday that I was stuck there " Eddie said.

"You graduated a year after me, but your profile said you're a year older than me?" Steph asked, frowning. She still couldn't place him.

"I uh. I got held back a couple times. Shit happened. It was a hard time for me."

"I feel like I should know you, but I don't remember you from school."

"The thing is, I've not always been Eddie." He said, looking nervous. "I had a different name, and I looked a lot different too."

It took a moment for Steph to realize what he was implying. "That's okay. I get it, because I've not always been Steph."

[oceanwithouthermoon]

okay some people genuinely really need to accept that the ONLY "queer coding" in saiki k is when they make gay jokes. there is NO other intentional queer coding, and i think people dont understand that claiming rep where it isnt there is much much more harmful than you think it is... just headcanon! its fun! you guys act like youre going to fucking die if you ship/hc something not canon, so you convince everyone that everything you say is canon ☠️ its literally insane

theres a HUGE difference between a headcanon or ship having what YOU see as canon backing, and a hc or ship that is actually implied or canon...

the only ship that you could argue is implied in saiki k is terusai, thats literally it, you could potentially make an argument that yumekai could be reciprocated towards the end, satoumiya, or MAYBE mikosai, but im pretty sure thats it...

nonbinary saiki is one of my personal favorite headcanons (one of the only ones i pretty much ALWAYS have in mind when talking or writing about him, it's practically a given) and i think it has pretty good canon backing, but its not ACTUALLY implied.

hes FAIRLY certain that his biological sex is male, and all evidence points to that, but he doesnt know and specifically says that he doesnt know what his true gender is... he clearly has absolutely zero discomfort with masculinity OR femininity, doesnt know or care about his gender, and is comfortable with either sex... he seems very happy to just be either...

seems like pretty solid evidence, but you also have to realize that there is literally zero chance that the author intended for saiki to be read as nonbinary, or trans in any way, this was literally just an excuse for plot and to have a reason to take advantage of his shapeshifting to do crossdressing/genderbend chapters ☠️ i love to see it as him being nonbinary and i think it has a lot of backing, but its not canon or even "implied" at all.

theres a lot of other examples of this kind of thing in this fandom, like theres a lot of people who claim that kubokai are queer coded (its usually just a joke when people say things like "hehe my ship is so canon" but im talking about like... people who see yumekai and go "um 🤨 this is LITERALLY homophobic because erm um kubokai are basically canon and queer coded and you shipping one of them with a WOMAN is HOMOPHOBIC" lmfao) and i am actually just not even sure where this comes from because they dont have anything that can even be twisted into romantic subtext, theyre just a popular ship because they have a good friendship. which is great! but theyre like the LAST thing i wouldve expected people to claim as implied or canon. they are absolutely not. the only thing i can even think of that might make people think that is saiki saying they look gay in that one chapter ☠️

[gold-rhine]

Afab! Scaramouche x GN! Dom reader first time

A\N: I guess technically it’s hurt\comfort. sigh. I don’t like to center my writing of trans characters on negative emotions, if you’ve read my previous stuff, you know when I write afab! male characters it’s like. Just guys, who happen to have pussies, having sex. And that’s how I initially started to write Scara’s afab first time prompt, but his canon storyline is so overtly about struggle of dysphoria, anxiety and self-hatred that it felt wrong to not incorporate it into my explicitly trans fic. So I had to rewrite it completely and I’m taking his part out of the compilation so ppl who want to avoid heavy topics and just have a good time reading smut can skip it. Otherwise, give it a try if you like complicated brats, I think it’s one of my good pieces and it has a happy ending.

Warnings: not sfw. graphic descriptions of dysphoria, anxiety attack, dissociation, angst, self-hatred, allusion to self-harm. Fingering, edging, overstim, spanking, oral (character receiving), vaginal sex. Cock stands for strap too, as usual.

Wordcount: 2k

You try to start slow and gentle with him, but he huffs mockingly.

“How long are you going to be wasting my time?”

“This is literally your first time, you little git.”

“Maybe you mortals need to be coddled, but I’m not a weakling.”

But despite his bravado, he’s tense when you kiss him, he doesn’t know how to properly kiss you back and what to do with his hands, so they just limply hang down. When you start opening his clothes to reveal his chest, he’s becoming more and more wooden. You try kissing him, his cheek, his neck, but it doesn’t relax him and he refuses to meet your eyes, still painfully clenched up, jaw locked tightly, like he’s preparing for something bad that he needs to just get through. He is not out publicly yet, still clinging to the belief that if he conforms to her expectations well enough, his mother will accept him. He’s so critical of himself all the time, especially of his body, which is just horrible and wrong, he hates seeing it himself and hates even more the thought of someone else seeing him naked.

“Hey, are you okay?” you ask quietly. “We can stop.”

“No!” he snaps. “I’m great. I don’t need to stop, are you stupid?!”

He wants you, is the thing. He wanted you for some time, got butterflies in his stomach, fantasized about you at nights. He wanted you more than anyone else in his life. So if he can’t bear even for you to see him, to have sex with him, then obviously something is deeply, fundamentally broken in him, no hope for him at all.

So desperately, he tries to find a roundabout solution. He’s still wearing a skirt, which he normally hates, but now it’s convenient, you could fuck him without taking it off.

“We don’t have to take off my clothes. There’s nothing good to see anyway. ”

He sounds frantic and frustrated, eyes alight with anger, and this does not look like a good situation to continue to you.

“It’s not a big deal, we can do it some other time when…”

“It’s just a cunt, you don’t need to see it!” He finally meets your eyes and you realize the brightness in them is not from anger, it’s from held back tears, because he believes you are rejecting him no matter what you say, “Why wouldn’t you just fuck it?!”

He hates his body and he doesn’t even want to have a pussy, but somehow subconsciously he feels like the one he has is also wrong, not even good enough for fucking, that whoever sees it will also recoil in disgust, as he does when he sees himself in the mirror. It’s ridiculous and he knows it, but he can’t help feeling like this, and he hates himself even more for this idiotic, nonsensical weakness, so this spirals into this vicious, unending cycle of self-disgust that he can’t see a way out of. What the fuck is so wrong with him that he can have a person he wants so much touching him and still be petrified, when it’s so easy for everyone else, and when…

You scoop him into your arms, turn him around so he doesn’t have to face you and hug him close to your chest. When he gasps and tries to protest, you clasp your hand over his mouth, kiss his ear.

“Don’t worry baby, I won’t look. But you need to calm the fuck down.”

He wants to struggle, but he’s so touch starved that when you embrace him, your warm breath on his skin makes him melt, especially combined with the wave of relief from your promise. He stops fighting you, curls up into a little ball in your arms, hiding his blushing face in a pillow, humiliated by how good it feels to be held, how little it takes.

“You don’t want me,” he says, miserable, but stubbornly proud, when you let go of his mouth. “You just pity me. I don’t want you to be here just because you feel bad for me.”

“I want you. I just wouldn’t want to fuck someone while they’re having a nervous breakdown. You or anyone else, for that matter.”

“It’s fine,” he says firmly. “I’m fine. I will be fine. Just do what you want to me, ignore my reactions, and soon I won’t even feel anything. It’s okay. I’m a puppet.”

It’s the conviction in his voice, the absolute certainty that there’s no better option that breaks your heart a little.

“Fucking hell, do you even hear yourself?”

“Why?” he says, face pressed against pillow, but calm, limp in your arms, a puppet with cut strings, and you hate it. ”It’s true, I am not like normal humans. You don’t have to treat me as one. It’ll be easier for the both of us, in the end.”

Maybe I just want you to feel good, baby.”

“Pffft,” he snorts like it’s ridiculous, like you’re naive and this option is not even on the agenda, and also so stupid he doesn’t even want to argue about it. “Even for humans, first time is supposed to be painful.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“No, everyone knows it, and…”

You clasp your hand over his mouth again and he starts squirming, noises muffled by your palm, but his protests die down as soon as your other hand starts siding down his body. 

“You’re so bossy for a little brat, aren’t you?”

You flip up his skirt and slap his ass, and he jolts up in your arms, gasps against your skin. You stroke the affected skin first gently, then with more and more pressure, until groping it, fingers digging into his tender flesh. “Maybe be a good doll and let me handle this for you.”

He didn’t know it could feel like this, not even when he came thinking of you before, so good, like he’s safe, being taken care of, but also so sweetly helpless, unable to resist. His head is light and dizzy with desire when you caress his thighs, nervously and instinctively clenched up, and he can’t remember his millions of concerns when you whisper “Open up for me, baby.”

He lets your hand between his legs, you slide into his panties and find him already wet, but when you stroke his clit and quietly tell him “Good boy,” it runs through him like lightning, eyes opening wide, moan escaping from his lips, his entire body arching up against you. 

“Yeah, that’s right, baby,” you keep caressing his clit, and he writhes more and more against you. “Doesn’t it feel good?”

His hand grips abruptly at your wrist, his slender fingers digging deep, and for a moment you think he’ll try to tear you off him, but then you realize that instead, he presses you closer to himself. You smile against his neck, the hand that kept at his mouth slides down, stroking his throat and down to his chest. At the same time, you slide your other hand deeper in between his legs, find his wet, pulsing entrance. You push two fingers into him, and he shudders against you, his fingers clenching at your wrist, but his cunt is wet and ready for you, stretching sweetly and leaking, his hips bucking against you. His breath is quick and frantic, heart beating rapidly, and then his fingers find your hand that isn’t buried inside of his pussy, leads it down his chest and then under the clothes, under the bra, to find and caress his small tits, and he whines sweetly, arches up, hard nipples poking at your palm. But when you take your fingers out of his pussy and press the head of your cock against his entrance, he tenses up again, his muscles spasming.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Just do it! It’s supposed to feel good for you when it's tight, isn’t it? So just fuck it, I can take it!”

He shuts up with a tiny gasp when you press your teeth into the side of his neck, which lets you keep groping his tits.

“I’ve never met someone, for whom a ballgag is so obviously needed for survival before. It’s going to be okay, baby, relax.”

You stroke his clit and massage his breasts, cutting his protests short, his hands clutching helplessly at yours, not trying to stop you, but just trying to be grounded. 

“What if it’s not going to be okay?” he asks quietly, his face buried in a pillow. “What if I’m just built wrong, if it’s just always going to hurt when you try to fuck me?”

“Then we’ll figure out something to do that doesn’t involve penetrating your pussy. It’s not that hard, baby.”

“You would do that for me?”

“Of course, don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to leave you just because I can’t fuck your cunt.”

“Really?” he asks, choked, trying for sarcasm, but failing badly, a raw edge in his voice. 

you would just switch to eating him out, but he seems pretty hung up on the inability to take you in, but from how easy it was to fit your fingers into him, how he seemed to enjoy it, you’re pretty sure the issue is psychological. So you stroke his clit, squeeze his breasts and kiss at the side of his jaw. You can feel his entrance involuntarily pulsing open and you push the head of your cock into him, feeling him stretching wider. He turns his head to you in alarm, but you catch his mouth in a kiss, keep caressing his body and slowly moving deeper into him. His fingers move from your wrists to intertwine with your hands, and when you squeeze back, he comes so quickly in your arms, before your cock is even fully sheathed inside of him. 

You hold him through the orgasm, then slide out of him, but then he turns in your arms, until he’s under you, he’s looking up at you, instead of being held. 

“I want more,” he breathes out, hot and heavy, and before you can think of the answer, he pulls his clothes open, opening his bra and revealing his chest, and then tugs his skirt and soaked panties down. He lies under you, both trembling and determined, his breath fast and nervous for exposing himself to you after trusting you won’t be disgusted with him, that you’’ll *want him*. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you run your eyes over him and kiss him, hard, and he presses himself against you, kisses you back with desperate abandon, but still when you break away from each other, he asks, his voice small. “Really?”

In response, you pepper him with hungry kisses, from the neck down the chest, ribs, stomach until you cover his swollen pink pussy with your mouth, while he’s leaking sweetly under your lips. When he comes, and he comes quickly, moaning loudly, you pull him close and kiss his lips with the taste of his own arousal.

“Really,” you tell him softly, while he’s blushing, soft and squirming against you. He shoots you a wry little look that you already came to associate with trouble coming, and says, trying to sound superior, but failing because of mischievous little smiles breaking his act

“So you like this body? That’s so degenerate of you, who would even like something so ugly and…”

He yelps and shuts up when you forcefully turn him over to lay on his stomach and slap his ass, but he looks pleased afterwards.

“There are much better ways to get spanked, you little brat.”

He arches his back, popping up his ass and spreading his thighs to show off his wet flushed pussy, entrance pulsing up open for you. Then he looks at you over the shoulder, eyes glinting in excitement, and sticks out his pink little tongue at you.

“Oh really?”

[freak-accident419]

deprivation

Derek Danforth x AFAB!NB!Reader

Summary: After scrolling through social media and seeing several beautiful women that you couldn’t be, your insecurities rose into you once more. Believing that Derek deserved someone better, he makes it his mission to prove you wrong.

Word Count: 2.3k

Content: 18+ MDNI, smut, AFAB reader, non-binary/transmasc reader, non-woman reader, reader has had top surgery (reader has no breasts), oral sex (v-receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v penetration, trans guilt, slight internalized transphobia, self-deprecation, angst, fluff, comfort

(A/n: finally a self-indulgent fic by me??? i know, right?! thank you to everyone who supported the creation of this fic, ily guys so much. while the reader in this is an afab enby, anyone is able to read it. no gatekeeping here :3 just a reminder, these are my own experiences and thoughts whenever i’m in a dark place—everyone has different experiences. if you are reading this and are trans in any way, you are beautiful, seen, and loved. thank you to everyone for your support!)

-

Derek began to press soft kisses to your neck, one hand cupping your face and the other caressing your sides. His palm rubs over your stomach, then made its way to your arm, dragging the soft pads of his fingertips against your skin. His kisses felt like heaven to you, each one sending a desperate chill down your spine.

“B—”

“I don’t wanna hear it,” Derek mutters hoarsely as he began to nibble the sensitive skin on your neck, softly biting it between his teeth and sucking, sure to leave red and purple marks much sooner.

Recently, you had a random wave of depression: your insecurities rose back up, much more severe than before, crushing your self-image entirely. Expressing your concerns to your lover, relentlessly insisting that he deserved someone better, someone prettier, someone normal, a bona fide woman, something in him just snapped. He was going to do whatever it took to prove you wrong and convince you that all he wanted and needed was you.

Your previous words had repeated abysmally in his head, like shitty earworm songs. He was brought back to the past moment with your phone in your hand, opened to several pictures of beautiful, confident women and models, something that you could never be. And he could hear your miserable voice reverberating over and over again:

“I deprive you, don’t I?”

So there you were, laid out on the cold mattress where you’ve always slept together. Both of your clothing were sprawled out across the room, tossed carelessly by Derek as he’d previously removed everything himself. You were under him, unsure that he truly wanted this and truly wanted you. Surely he deserved someone much prettier and more normal than you.

“I know what you’re thinking about,” he mumbles, looking up at you slightly before trailing kisses downwards to your collarbone, reaching your chest. “I love you.” Derek began to pepper kisses against the faint line on your chest from your top surgery operation many years ago, the scarring already completely healed. “I don’t want anyone else,” he pressed his lips against the other side, following along the scar, “but you. Do you hear me?”

You nod quietly, but with that, falsely. You were uncertain why you couldn’t just accept his words. It seemed too untrue. You had faith in Derek, you couldn’t doubt him, but you knew that nobody, especially him, should ever be reduced to a partner like yourself. Shouldn’t he be with someone who was much more beautiful than you? Why was he with you? He deserved much more than you. Your body was unnatural, your identity was unnatural, you weren’t normal, your—

“Hey, hey, hey,” he whispers affectionately, wiping their tear at the corner of your eye that left as you had been drowned in those thoughts. “You’re beautiful.” It was like he could read your mind. “You’re so, so beautiful.” You hated it. “You’re perfect.”

Derek pressed his lips to the center of your chest, inhaling deeply as he trailed down towards your stomach, covering it in kisses. Then he reached the top of your thigh, beginning to leave more hickeys, marking you up incessantly. Soft whimpers escaped your pretty mouth, making Derek smirk to himself as he continued, letting his gentle palms caress at your sides.

“I wouldn’t trade you for anyone or anything else, my love,” he declares, rubbing your inner thighs with his thumbs before opening your legs, spreading them out. While you admit that you were still very insecure about your relationship with Derek, you couldn’t help but become aroused from his affectionate touches and words, thus revealing an astonishing wetness between your thighs. Your boyfriend moans softly at the sight, looking up at you while he kissed at your skin right above your clit. “You look so fucking gorgeous, my love, so gorgeous…”

He hooks his arms under your thighs to grip them with his hands before licking up a stripe at your pussy. The sound that escaped your mouth was complete perfection, Derek observing the way your lips parted and eyelids grow heavy, his own lustful eyes boring into yours. He then began to lap his tongue at your center much faster, teasing between your folds, tasting you, kissing you, making your legs squirm under him. “Fuck, you taste so good, baby, what a pretty fuckin’ pussy,” he praised breathlessly, “Fuckin’ love your perfect, pretty pussy…” And once you finally feel his lips close around your clit, his warm tongue lingering against it, you moan out in pure pleasure, hands immediately reaching for his hair.

“Ah-ahhhh,” you cry softly as your fingers tangle in his curls, tugging lightly. The pulling sensation prompted Derek to remove one hand from your a thigh, lining up his finger with your entrance as he continued licking at your clit. His finger methodically ran along your wet folds before slowly easing in, slipping so easily inside of you. “M—Mmmm…”

You hummed softly in contentment, feeling his finger explore your insides until he instantly slips another one in, stretching your walls and making you cry out a choked moan. His other hand spreads your other thigh out wider, pumping his two fingers in and out of your wetness at a steady, loving pace.

You felt your own hands fail yourself, falling back down on the mattress as your fingers gripped the sheets below you instead. You could feel the tip of Derek’s tongue flick at your sensitive bud skillfully, then kissing and lapping his tongue against it. Your nails dug further into the mattress as your moans became louder, face red and flushed in ultimate ecstasy.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you moan. “Mm—Derek—”

“Mmmm,” he hummed with his lips still at your clit, sending small vibrations to you, causing you to squirm and whine further.

“Fuck,” you pant as you felt closer to the edge and then…

Shit. You let out a soft, desperate whine as Derek slowly withdrew his fingers, leaving a chaste kiss on your skin before pulling away. His lips pressed against several areas of your thighs, then to your folded knee. “You taste so fucking good,” he mumbles, “You turn me on so fucking much, your body turns me on so much, you know that?”

Your bright, satisfied eyes looked up at him in pure submission, nearly begging him to touch you more. And yet, you couldn’t help but think: was he just saying this because you brought it up in the first place? And would he keep touching and tasting you longer if you were prettier? Would he touch you even more and thoughtfully if you had the body of a goddess? A siren? A woman? Ultimately, it all came down to this:

would he love you more than he did if you weren’t trans?

Derek witnessed you spacing out again in your thoughts, cupping your face gently and shushing you. “Hey,” he whispers, kissing at your neck and your face. “You’re all I ever want. Nothing’s gonna change that.” He reached down to kiss at the healed scarring on your chest again, making you shiver.

“God, look how fucking hard I am,” he cooed, urging you to see his throbbing length, “just by looking at how damn sexy you are…” His cock was completely hard, precum leaking slightly at the tip as you admired him intensely. His body had always been so beautiful and attractive to you, that you felt your own core heat up.

Derek kissed your lips briefly, deepening it while he grabbed under your thighs, lifting you up so he could sit against the bed frame with you straddling him. “That’s it, baby, I’ve got you,” he reassures gruffly, gripping tightly onto your hips. “I’ve got you.” As you hover over his lap, holding yourself up by your knees, Derek removes one hand from your hip, gripping onto his thick cock, stroking your wet folds with its head, teasing your entrance.

“Ah-Ahh,” you sigh softly in pleasure, mind beginning to become fuzzy as you succumb to the feeling of his dick slowly rubbing your pussy. Your head hung low as your hands held onto his shoulders, nails slightly digging into his skin.

He lined up his cock with your slick entrance, pushing you down onto him, stretching your walls with his thick girth. And suddenly, you could feel all your worries and insecurities dissipate into something so much more meaningless, as microscopic as a particle of glitter—except they weren't as pretty. But this allowed you to completely enjoy every feeling, every sensation guiltlessly.

“Ahhh, fuuuuck,” you whine, “fuck, Derek… sh-shit—”

Derek’s grasp on your hips remained as he lasciviously slammed them up and down his cock, grunting and moaning softly.

“Oh, fuck…” Derek’s lips parted gorgeously as he let out pleasured groans. His eyes were half-lidded, looking at you as if you were prey, yet simultaneously overwhelmed by a haze of arousal. He not only got off by the tightness of your pussy around him, but also from your beautifully rhythmic moans. You panted and whimpered loudly in such a gratifyingly repetitive manner that it was practically a dirty symphony to Derek’s ears. Paired with the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin, it was as if it were the only orchestral piece that he could stand.

Derek slightly jerked his hips up into yours each time he slammed yours down on his, making your cries louder and more desperate. He then moved his hands to your ass, squeezing the flesh selfishly as he controls your movements against him, sneaking a small smack against a cheek.

“So sexy, you’re so fucking sexy, baby,” he pants heavily, grabbing the side of your face with one hand to kiss your lips deeply, shoving his tongue past your lips to taste you. “I’m so… fucking lucky to have you…” he mutters in between kisses until he finally pulls away with a short string of saliva connecting one another’s lips, breaking it with a quick peck from Derek.

Suddenly, he changes the position by pushing you down, your back now flat against the mattress as he hovered over you. His legs were spread apart, his hips still lined up with yours as your ankles were above the back of his thighs. Placing his palms on the mattress while your knees were raised, his arms, against the back of your knees, trapped each leg in that open and spread out position. Penetrating you again, the two of you let out a loud, soft moan in unison.

“Fuck!” Derek hisses from immense pleasure as he began to move again, at a much faster pace than before. You choke out high-pitched sounds as you feel his cock constantly thrusting in and out of your fleshy walls with every wet slap. The bed creaked and rocked violently with every movement that came from Derek. He relentlessly stretched you open and buried himself even deeper inside of you, ensuring that he strokes his pelvis against your clit with every thrust, the closeness between your bodies creating an even more intimate atmosphere.

“Oh, fuck!” You cried softly, lips parted as you felt so much throbbing pleasure against your heat.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty… Tell me that you’re pretty, baby, can you do that for me?” He inquired in a hot, low mutter.

Your thoughts froze at the request. “I—But I’m—”

He thrusts even deeper inside of you, making you moan louder. “C’mon, baby. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes upon. C’mon, tell me you’re pretty. Say it.”

“I—” You looked up into his eyes with desperation. “I’m pretty.”

“That’s my good baby… Now tell me that you’re beautiful…”

“I—” you stammer, “I’m… beautiful.”

“Again.”

“I’m beautiful.”

“Again.”

His cock pounded deeply and harder into your walls, making you cry in complete pleasure. “I-I’m beautiful.”

Your hands reached up towards the back of his neck, bringing his face down to press his forehead against yours, staring deeply into each other’s eyes while gasps and moans escaped the two of your lips.

“Tell me you belong to me. That you’re mine only,” he commands vigorously.

“I-I’m yours,” you whimper loudly.

“Damn right, you’re mine,” he huffs breathlessly, almost in a lustful slur, “all fuckin’ mine…” Derek smashes his lips against yours in a fiery and passionate kiss, burying his face in your neck to add more dark hickeys than you’d already had. Your hands go to his hair, holding his head as you tangle your fingers in his curls, lightly tugging as you feel your body begin to clench around his dick.

Your moans become more desperate as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, whining to yourself from how ecstatic this all felt. The raunchy silhouette of Derek’s body rocking lustfully against yours was truthfully a beautiful sight.

“I—I’m close!” You whimper out, your panting speeding up. “I’m so close, I—I’m gonna cum—!”

“Fuuck,” Derek grunts, “Cum for me baby, fuck, c’mon.” He sped up his pace, making your vision blur as your eyes rolled to the back of your head in pure ecstasy. And finally, with one more deep, fast thrust, your body tensed up completely, a loud whine escaping your mouth as you came, your pussy clenching deliciously around him.

Your orgasm instantly drove Derek to the edge, groaning as he came deep inside of you, shoots of his warm white cum decorating your walls and filling you up. He stays like this for a while, collapsing on your body as his face is buried in your neck. The two of you were panting heavily, struggling to catch your breaths from the intense climax. Derek began peppering kisses on your neck once more, going over the old hickeys that formed several moments ago.

“I love you so fucking much, okay, baby? I wouldn’t—I’d never leave you,” he mutters, making your heart full. “You could never, ever deprive me, baby, you’re everything I could ever want. Your body is so damn beautiful, you’re so fucking perfect…”

Derek kissed your lips deeply once again, spilling all his authentic admiration and love for you. He would rather perish by suffocation from kissing your lips as much as he could, if it meant that even a sliver of you would be convinced that he loved you for who you were. And who you were in his eyes was utter perfection.

[chrisredfield73]

Could you do a reader who accidentally tells the tf2 mercs they're gay/queer in sexuality? With some angst from the reader because they're worried it'll affect how the mercs see them. And depending on the merc, some comfort?

This is a bit self-indulgent as I am a girl who likes girls, but it can be written for anyone

The reader is meant to be a teen so it's strictly platonic!

A/N: As a gay trans guy, I understand the angst and fear! Thank you for requesting!!

For Spy's part-

Mon chou means 'my cabbage' (weird term of endearment for kids but it's really sweet)

--------------------------------------------------------------

You let it slip, accidentally, but it immediately made you panic. You mentioned liking the same gender as you. The fear of not being accepted hit you like a tidal wave, as you stare wide eyed at the merc in front of you..

Scout:

He's surprised, to say the least.

He definitely makes a snarky and sarcastic joke, but he quickly shuts up when he notices your fear.

"Hey now.. Don't get all nervous on me."

He's pretty supportive overall, giving you some reassuring comments and a pat on the back.

"Listen.. I don't know how all the other guys would react, but I'm okay with it. Don't worry, I won't say anything."

He may make some hints about it to the others, but he doesn't go too far.

He also definitely would help you find a s/o and he would beg to hear who you like.

Soldier:

Now for this big himbo, it's a 50/50.

He either doesn't hear or get what you've said, or he heard it and he's judging you.

"What was that, maggot?"

If he didn't hear you or understand you, you could definitely play it off as a joke. He'd probably laugh it off with you, not even noticing how nervous you are.

If he heard you and is now judging you, he's staring at you through narrowed eyes. "You're queer?"

He's definitely not supportive... At first. You could probably, eventually, get him to come around and be supportive.

He has that mentality of, "I was raised thinking it was wrong so it's wrong."

Pyro:

When he heard you say that, it's completely obvious he supports you.

He gives you a thumbs up and a hug for reassurance.

"Mff mff mm mmff."

You're not sure what he just said, but you can tell it was something supportive by how he just acted.

He helps make sure you're comfortable, even giving you gifts that are discreet pride flag colors.

If any of the other guys catch wind about it, you can bet that Pyro will be there to stand up for you.

Demoman:

Another one of the guys that's 50/50 about it.

If he's drunk, he's either not going to act supportive, when he actually is, or he's not going to be paying attention to anything you just said. "What..?"

In the rare occasion that he's not drunk, he's very supportive and will give you a hug.

"Ey there, lass/lad, no need to worry. It's alright with me."

He is one of the supportive ones, despite being an idiot when he's drunk. He's proud of you for being yourself, even if you're not out to everyone.

Heavy:

He's shocked, looking over at you with wide eyes.

He doesn't say anything for a moment, before noticing your anxiousness.

He's not super supportive, but he's not going to judge you about your preferences.

"Heavy is not mad. Heavy is happy you're happy."

He gives you a pat and maybe even rubs your back, trying to help you feel better.

He won't tell anyone about it, he's the second best secret keeper on the team.

"Heavy won't tell anyone, Heavy pretends he never heard it."

Engineer:

He's caught off-guard, but he's supportive 100%.

"Oh? I never would've thought..."

He gives you a reassuring smile and hugs you gently.

"Don't worry, kid. I won't tell nobody. You have my word."

He's the first best secret keeper, and he's basically the supportive dad of the team.

He'll, much like Pyro, also get you discreet pride gifts to show he supports you and to make you feel better.

All in all, Engineer is the best to share things with, he's a calm and gentle soul who just wants to see you happy.

Medic:

He had his suspicions, he suspects a lot of things about a lot of people.

"Oh? You like women/men?"

He's pretty supportive, but he's not a very touchy person. He'd prefer to not have a ton of physical contact.

He gives you a quick rub on the back before pulling away.

"I'm not going to judge you, there are things far worse than not being straight."

He's not the best for comfort but he is, at least, mostly supportive.

Sniper:

He stops what he's doing and turns to look at you, his expression and emotion unreadable.

"You... You're what now?"

He notices you panicking and steps over to you, offering you a small smile.

He gently ruffles your hair and chuckles, "Easy now, roo. Calm down. I'm not judgin' ya, I'm just confused."

He's okay with you elaborating on your sexuality, and he's okay with you not talking about it anymore.

He's also good at not telling anyone about your sexuality, he prefers to keep to himself anyway.

Spy:

He let's out a low hum, raising a brow. He definitely didn't expect that.

"...Hmm?"

He's polite, not teasing you or making fun of you.

He doesn't really understand but he's not going to go out of his way to judge you or make fun of you.

"Don't worry, mon chou. I'm not going to judge you."

He sets down his cigarette in his ashtray and pulls you in for a hug.

He's one that doesn't like physical affection very much, but seeing you in slight distress makes him want to comfort you.

He almost thinks of you like his child, and he just wants to see you happy.

[grave-z-boy]

Right so I love your writing and just need more mx m cause fuck I'm tired of imaging dead me .

I'm a Trans man..I think ( female to male ??) So I was hoping for a fic somewhat like that . Arthur and reader meet when they're female but 2 years later or so they meet again and arthur doesnt recognize y/n (because they transitioned) I just want some fluff and acceptance of that . I know back then homosexuality was a big no no and being trans is unheard of so it'll be fun to see where you take it.

Arthur Morgan x Trans!Male!Reader

Summary: You’ve felt stuck and unhappy for years, so, in pursuit of your own happiness you leave everyone and everything you’ve even known behind. Including your currently out of state lover, Arthur Morgan.

Word count: 6,011

Warnings: reader is a bartender, reader steals, readers sister and mother are mentioned, implied past sex between Arthur and reader, drinking and alcoholism mentioned (not reader or Arthur), y/n and his guns, guns mentioned, shooting mentioned, abandonment, hurt comfort, reader being One Of The Guys™️, sleep deprived Arthur, Tilly being helpful, reader get misgendered and deadnamed a lot but it’s before they knew he was trans, reader cries really fucking hard at one point Arthur being sleep deprived, sleep deprive Arthur being really gay for Reader, not mentioned in the story but the reason Arthur is so tired is because about half way though his second trip to town his horse bucked him off for pushing her too hard and he had to walk the rest of the way, worlds longest warning list damn

Sept. 15, 18XX

My Dear Arthur Morgan

It’s been thirteen months since I saw you last. The time has passed slowly for me- sometimes it felt as though I was standing still for days at a time. Like everyone and everything around me was moving forward- but for me, and only me, time stood still. In the months since you’ve left it seems my joy, as well as a my love for my home town, has dwindled to nothing. Staying here, the way I am, it pains my heart. I know I said I would be here, that I would wait for you to return. But I need to change and the change that I need cannot be achieved here. The people here know me, they’ve known me my whole life, and no matter what I do I will always be that same little girl to them.

I’m heading up to a little town in Nevada, maybe I can start over there.

Always yours, D/n.

Arthur received your final letter months ago. In the time since he’s read it hundreds of times, mulling over every little detail. The crumbles in the paper, the unevenness of your writing, the all too familiar tear stains that permanently warped small circles on the page, the way your name ripped through the paper, as though you’d traced it dozens of times before sending it off.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever understand what happened, why after all this time of waiting, all this time of writing him dozens of love letters, why you decided to say goodbye, he understood change. Arthur has seen people change, he’s changed, and if it was change you needed he’d do it again. But you left. If he really wanted to, he could find you, ride day and night, ask everyone he saw if they’d seen the beautiful woman that he loved more than anything. But…

You didn’t want that. You didn’t want to be hunted down, you didn’t need to be convinced. You needed change, not a reason to stay the same. So he let you go and even when the following days were filled with the nothing but pain and confusion and the complete desolation your decision brought, he still let you go.

The gang knew he was hurting, he was withdrawn, went off on his own for a couple of days. They figured he went to find you, but when he returned, without you and in a severely worse state, they knew not to press him on it.

You weren’t much better.

This was your decision and you were going to live with it. You yearned for Arthur, every day and every night, it was different from waiting for him in your hometown, he was the one who’d left then, but you knew he’d come back to you one day. Now you were the one leaving, and you could never go back to him.

You needed to move on, you sold every piece of clothing you had to a local tailor, it was almost funny to see some of your nicer dresses displayed in the window the next morning, early on, your new wardrobe came from various drunk men. You’d be surprised just how much you could find in an alley next to a bar. After you had an outfit, a proper male outfit, you were able to assimilate.

You lived above a tavern. The owner was far too old and far too tired to run it anymore, and he wanted to live in his own house for the first time in decades, so he offered you the place for a little over a hundred bucks. You worked at the bar at night, while you handled various chores and other responsibilities during the day. The pay wasn’t great, but you had a permanent place to stay and spare food from the bar to eat, and it was more than enough.

You’d taken up a new name, y/n, you thought about it for a long time before you left. A good name, the name of a proud man with no connection to who you were before. No one ever questioned you. You were just a man to them. They teased you, in the earlier days, called you feminine, pointed out your hand, your cheeks, and your hips among other things, but in the end it was just teasing, they didn’t know why you were like that, and they didn’t question when you put in an effort to change or hide your more feminine aspects. Maybe they were just too drunk to care.

You loved this life, you were just the friendly bartender.

But even with this new life, you found yourself missing aspects of you’re old one.

Your old friends, your old family, your old lover. They wouldn’t take you back, not like this, they’d think something was wrong, they’d try to change you, try force you back into the box you clawed yourself out of.

But still you dreamed of them, your sisters cooking, the way she was effortlessly graceful even when she was teasing you, your friends, the girls you’ve know since you were in diapers, singing, making flower crowns, getting into trouble. Arthur…

You dreamed of Arthur the most. Your days and nights were filled with thoughts of him. You think back to your last night together, the way he held you so tightly, you swore you could still feel his hands there. The praises he muttered, the love he confessed through out the night, every move he made, the way he left and the hole that was left in your chest after.

You dreamed of him, like one day you’d wake up and he’d be beside you. And he tell you that he loved you, not d/n, not the girl from before, but you, y/n, as your truest self.

But just like yesterday, and the days before that, he wasn’t there when you opened your eyes.

The sun was just coming up. But the sliver of light that did shine through the window seemed to magically be angled at your eyes. Making the rest you so desperately wanted impossible.

You pushed yourself up with a groan, your elbow popping the moment you were upright, your eyes were just barely open, you scratched your chest and let out a long yawn.

Your room was still dark for the most part, but you were still able to pull on some pants and fasten a belt so you could head downstairs. The tavern was empty, you cleaned up good last night and you wouldn’t have to worry about really opening until later. Still, you unlocked the front door and flipped the wooden sign in the window to say open, the people here knew you weren’t really open to serve, you were just open to the chatty people that passed through in the morning, locals coming to say hi, or travelers in need of direction, others came to sit with their friends and get out of the violent Nevada sun. Either way, you’d be polite enough to them, but they weren’t welcome for a drink for another couple of hours.

Stepping into the backyard you picked the laundry off the line and into a basket. You heard the bell up on top of the front door ring a couple of times. As you got closer to the back door you could hear the faint chatter of two people inside, Doctor Mayer, one of three doctors in town, and Anita, a house wife. She was in here more often than her husband was, but you always figured that she just needed something to do while he worked considering you’ve only ever seen her drink a handful of times in the past year.

When you came through the back door she let out an excited yelp,

“Y/n!” She shouted, like she hadn’t seen you the night before.

“Mrs. Matthews.” You said with a respectful nod. “How’s you’re husband?”

She groaned, “paranoid.”

Setting the basket down on the bar, in between the upturned stools, you turned back to her.

“He used to be a farmer, farmers are always paranoid.”

“He was not a damn farmer, don’t let that man fool you, he was a farm hand, it’s different,”

Dr. Mayer piped in, his voice low and tired, though that just how he always sounded, “the bastard smells like one…”

“It’s getting warmer out there.” You responded, leaning against the bar.

“Doesn’t mean he has to walk around smelling like a damn animal!”

You laughed, turning back to Anita, “what does your husband do anyway?”

“He’s a banker, which is why he’s so damn paranoid in the first place.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well..” she stated, adjusting herself in her chair, “one of his colleague’s brother-in-law told his colleague that he saw a gang ‘a outlaws heading up this way, but here’s the kicker, Johnny, the colleague, is a notorious liar. Lies left and right like his life depends on it.”

“Johnny Flores?” You asked.

She smacked the table, “That’s the bastard!”

“Yeah, he comes in here every Wednesday like clockwork, telling the boys his stories. It’s a surprise the whole town hasn’t heard about this..”

“Well, it isn’t Wednesday yet, is it? It’ll make it’s way into you’re bar, don’t worry”

You laughed again, grabbing the basket off the table you said, “Alright, I’ll be back in a minute, got a few more thing to settle.”

You weren’t too worried about the rumors, there wasn’t much in the town anyways, no sheriff either so if they did come and make noise, it’d be a free for all and they’d leave with less than they came with. Everybody had a gun, hell- you had two, a shotgun the last owner had given you, and a pistol Arthur had given you a few weeks before he left, one was under the bar on a shelf, the other was under your bed, you’ve never really had a need for either, but if Johnny was being truthful for once in his life, which you doubted, you figured it was good to have them.

That night, when the bar did open, a few unfamiliar faces strode in, though none were to shady. A couple of working girls took to them quick and they were gone after being chatted up by for a bit. Outside of that, it was a normal night.

You closed late, shooing out the last drunk nearly two hours later than usual. Wiping down the tables, flipping the chairs and stools on them, washing the glasses, sweeping, mopping and making sure the front and back door was locked before heading upstairs. You scrubbed yourself down at your washstand. Of all things you missed from your old home, your bathtub was one of the bigger ones. Your mother had invested in it early on, and now you were saving to have one installed here too. What you wouldn’t do for a hot bath after a long day. You were almost there, another fifty dollars and you’d have all the money you needed. That’s were a good portion of your money went, you didn’t mind, after all you’ve sacrificed you deserve something nice.

——-

A couple of weeks later, Wednesday afternoon, Johnny Flores and a couple of his friend decided to take over the seats directly in front of the bar. Again, he told stories of bandits headed your way, but he was “serious” this time.

“I swear, I know what I saw, Dutch’s boys, just like the damn posters! I saw them coming from the east, clear as day.”

Before one of his friend could respond you asked, “and what the hell were you doing in the east, huh?”

“Well-“ he straightened himself out, “I was out with my lady friend-“

“The prostitute-“ his friend, Oscar, interrupted.

“-Not a prostitute, she's a-”

“-escort-” both Johnny and his three friends said together, they've heard that one before.

“Isnt that the same thing?” you asked.

“He doesn't think so!” Oscar said.

“They almost knocked our carriage over!” Johnny shouted, getting the conversation on track.

“Sure they did..” you said, drying the glass in your hand before setting it back down. “Bet they stuck you up too, only let you live cuz you're so pretty.”

“Go to hell, y/n.”

“I'll go where ever your lying, drunk ass ain't.”

“Im not lying, and I’m not drunk either, so get me another whiskey, asshole!”

“Hey now,” Daniel, who was also a regular, piped up, “careful how you talk to him, he might shoot ya’”

You set the glass down in front of him, he snatched it quickly, gulping it down.

“Or I might just piss in your whiskey.”

He choked hard, luckily the drink went down his throat instead of all over your counter, then you would have shot him. His face morphed to one of irritation, but his friend's laughter was infectious and he found himself laughing along with them.

The night ended with you carrying a passed out Johnny to the alley, you cleaned up, scrubbed yourself down, and went to bed just as you always did.

The next morning a delivery was made to the bar, food and alcohol, you kept your meats and some of your more expensive liquor in the ice box and things like bread and supplies were kept on the shelf. Food wasn't ordered commonly in the tavern, but there were those who ate here nearly every night because they had no skill for cooking and no one else to do it for them. You enjoyed those people, and you think they enjoyed you too, especially since the last owner would drive them out if they tried to come in for more than three days in a row. He thought that they were stealing food from other customers, but you didn't, You knew they were just hungry and needed to eat, and they couldn't be stealing because they always paid.

After that, your day was pretty normal- other than what you consider to be one the best things to happen to you in a long time- your bathtub, your beautiful porcelain bathtub with golden feet and faucet, was done. Fully installed and in perfect working order. You weren't going to pretend to understand how the man you paid did it, but he did. And finally, after what felt like years, you were able to take a hot bath.

It was weird, staring down at your distorted body as you soaked. Usually, when you scrubbed yourself down at the washstand all you could think of was how desperately you wanted this to be over. Your mind was clear, but that clarity only lasted so long though, as it did most nights, your mind wander to Arthur.

Saying you missed him was redundant, it was meaningless, it was stupid. You know, but you did. Letting out a long sigh, the last time you saw Arthur was like a dream, you spent an entire day together, you woke up together, ate together, bathed together, dressed together- everything you did, every little move you made reminded you of that day. And with Johnny spreading rumors about the Dutch’s gang, you heard his name more and more. You let yourself sink into the water, your eyes clenched shut as warm water covered your face. You stayed there longer that you should have, when you finally sat up, you were nearly gasping for air.

You got out few minutes later, you were tired, dressing yourself halfway before collapsing into bed.

You didn’t dream that night, your mind either too tired or too pained to show you your usual fantasies.

——-

Arthur swore he wouldn’t look for you, he swore it to you and to himself that he’d let you be free. But it seemed unavoidable now. Dutch had settled the gang in a large clearing in Nevada, the gang was mostly hidden by a small chain of mountains, and there was a streak of towns and settlements all within a couple dozen miles from each other.

There weren’t many cities in Nevada, it was dry and damn near impossible to farm out here if you didn’t know what you were doing, and if that wasn’t enough, the heat would be.

You were out there somewhere.

Dealing with the heat, with the drought, and with the shitty crops. And you still didn’t go back home. He’s been to your home. He's gone back dozens of times, you were never there, whatever you wanted to do, whatever changes you made, you succeded. He was happy for you, you were happy, God he hoped you were happy- he doesn't know what he'd do if he found out you weren't. If you were somewhere miserable and sulking, all this time, when you could have been with him.

He pushed those thoughts back- you were happy, you had to be.

When Arthur mentioned he was riding into the nearest town, he got a few odd looks. It wasn't a secret that you'd run off to Nevada, not even close. Most didn't say much, maybe a quick good luck, or a request for something from town. Some didn't say anything, but Dutch did. Dutch warned him, warned him about you and how some changes weren't good, and if Arthur did see you that he needed to be careful.

Arthur wasn't one to ignore advice, and he didn't ignore it, he thought about it as he road through the desert lands of Nevada, but whatever changes you made, he could handle it. He wasn't a child, he didn't need have his hand held. There wasn't even a guarantee that you'd been in this town, or the next one. So for all he knew he'd never have to face you're changes.

The town was bustling with life. The people went about their business. The town was…normal. Small, busy, and normal. He road in unbothered, no one here seemed to care enough to even look when the man when he trotted by.

Hitching his horse to a sturdy pole he set off to one of the small shops nearby, after picking up some extra oat cakes and apples for the horse, he tried to find the sheriff’s office, only to find that this town didn't have one after asking a mildly disheveled yet nicely dressed man for directions, no government either. The town was its own unit outside of the occasional trading.

“Danny Hikman used to be the law here, well, not really, but he kept people on the right track. Encouraged them to do right- and get guns, he used to run a bar a little down the way, gave it to his nephew or something-” the man said, laughing slightly.

“‘ bar any good?” he asked, only half listening to the man.

“The best, fresh food, cold whiskey- bartenders a good guy too, won't hesitate to throw your ass out though.”

“I’ll bet- which way’s that bar, again?”

———

You started serving earlier than usual today, mostly so you could close earlier without complaint. The familiar chime of the bell above the door called your attention for a less than a second, you recognized Johnny, then looked back down at the glasses you were cleaning.

“Changing your schedule on me, Johnny? I thought you were a Wednesday man?”

He let out a short laugh, sitting in the spot directly in front of you, “just showing a friend around.”

“You’re friends are all alcoholics, I doubt they need help finding a bar.”

“Hey now, I’ve got a new friend. Mr. Uhh-“

“Arthur.”

You felt like you’d just jumped out of your skin, the glass in your hand clattered against the floor, ever so sturdy. Landing thankful one piece. Staring at the man in front of you, standing just behind Johnny, Arthur Morgan, right there, looking just the way he did when he left, just the way you remember him.

He glanced at Johnny, then back at you- it felt like he looked right through you. Looking at you with none of the love or adoration from before. Because he loved d/n, not y/n. Y/n was just a bartender to him, an awful one who apparently couldn’t even hold a damn glass.

Your heart felt like it was collapsing in on itself, your chest was tight and you could feel your throat start to close as tears weld in your eyes. Quickly, you broke eye contact with Arthur, ducking down under the bar to grab the glass, using the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the forming tears in your eyes before standing up.

“Sorry boys,” you muttered, “you’re, uh, friend startled me is all.”

Taking off his hat and setting down on the counter, Arthur took a seat on one of the stools.

“Sorry, your friend here talked you up quite a bit, had to see for myself if what he said was true.”

You let out a laugh, forced and almost nervous, setting the glass down with the rest of the dirty glasses, you said, “Trust me, it’s true, what you looking for Mr. Arthur?”

“Just Arthur, and whiskey, thanks.”

You nodded to the man before heading to the storage room, you’d hate to admit it, but you wanted to run, straight passed the storage room and out the back door. But that would make Arthur think something was wrong, and yes, something was wrong, but he didn’t need to know that. He didn’t recognize you, and that was okay, it was supposed to be okay, you left so you wouldn’t be recognized, you left to start over. But he’s out there, and you were hiding in the storage room so you wouldn’t have to face him. You gave yourself a moment, for your throat to release and for your heart to stop pounding and aching. Only the pounding stopped. You needed to work, you couldn’t let them know anything was wrong.

Grabbing a bit of higher quality whiskey out of the icebox, feeling the frosty glass sting your hand as you carried it out of the storage room. Without looking up at the man you grabbed one of the clean glasses and poured him about half a glass. You remember Arthur complaining about it once, only getting serviced the tiniest amount of alcohol, no matter the price. Capping the bottle you gave a short wordless nod before setting it under the counter. Arthur grabbed the glass, before he could speak you were on the other side of the bar, serving somebody else.

Johnny didn’t stay long, he had other things to do on a Thursday afternoon, but Arthur stayed, you poured him a couple more glasses before cutting him off, at least from your expensive whiskey.

“How much do I owe you?” He ask, his speech a bit slurred as he sat unsteadily in his seat.

“Nothing, I’ll put it on Johnny’s tab, come Wednesday he won’t notice it.”

“Thank you kindly-“

“Y/n-“

“Thank you, y/n.”

“You have a good night Mr. Morgan.”

You crawled into bed that night, still in your day clothes, feeling like your heart had been torn out of your chest. And you cried, you cried until the sun came up, until your body couldn't cry anymore and every sound you made was a rough heaving sob. And when you had no more energy left to sob, you stared at your open window, watching the sunrise, listening to the people.

You were supposed to open today, unlocking the door and flipping the sign, staring out the window, at the people, at Mrs. Matthews waiting across the street for you to open your doors.

You flipped the sign back, you stated at the word “OPEN” facing you, then at Mrs. Matthews's face fell as the word “CLOSED” faced her.

————

Sitting on his cot, journal on his lap, Arthur stared at the picture he drew. It wasn't perfect, considering he was half drunk when he drew it, but it was something. The bartender from last night. He was…something. A nervous something. Arthur felt bad for him when he dropped the glass, then he just…stared at him, long enough for Arthur to get a spark of familiarity when he saw his face. Arthur tried to get his attention as the night went on, ordering drinks, asking questions, trying to get the man to stay close, be he'd walk away the moment he'd answered or served him.

He wasn't like that with other patrons, he laughed, he joked- then he kicked everyone out.

He heard him say he was closing early, but let him stay until he finished his last drink. Arthur thought about the name he'd given. Y/n.

“I see you're drawing d/n again, did you catch her in town?”

Looking up he saw Tilly standing next to him with a kind smile on her face.

“No, it's not d/n, some bartender in town, he looks so familiar.”

Tilly hummed, sitting on the cot with Arthur and taking the book out of his lap. She flipped through the pages quickly before finding a drawing of d/n, with your final letter stuck right next to it.

“Needs a change, huh? Maybe she skipped town and became a bartender, you never know.”

“A bartender and a man?”

“You never know Arthur. Maybe that's why she left, couldn't make a change like that where people know you. They would've hunted her down.”

“Tilly..”

“Maybe you should talk to the bartender, if it's not her then it's not her, but if it is, are you really going to miss seeing her again because you won't take a chance?”

Handing the journal back to him she said, “Just think about it, at least.” Then she walked away.

————

You heard the slam of the front door behind you as you sat the freshly cleaned glasses on the rack. If you were going to sulk and lock yourself in the bar then you were going to clean while you did it.

“We’re closed..” you said, your tone not exactly customer friendly.

You had a list of things you needed to do, you've already mopped the floor, scrubbed the tables and walls, washed every glass, plate, and utensil, did your laundry, scrubbed your tub, cleaned your room-

“D/n..?”

You paused, then glanced over your shoulder. You knew it was him, you already knew, you knew his voice too well to ever mistake it. Taking a breath, you hands shaking and heart pounding, you turned around.

“Arthur, I-” you breathed out, but you didn't know what to say. “How did you-”

“Lucky guess..”

Taking slow steps towards the bar, you heard him sigh.

“Are you…okay?” he asked, unsure.

You nodded, “Yeah, yeah I'm okay.”

“We should talk-”

“Yes, we should-”

You stepped from behind the counter, still unsure as to what could happen next. Then, without warning, you were pulled into a tight hug, Arthurs's body practically enveloping yours. You stood there, holding him as tightly as you could until your arms started to burn from the strain.

You didn't know what to say, or how to explain what happened, the realization you went through while he was gone, why you left.

When you pulled away you still didn’t know what to say, you opened your mouth to talk but no words came out. You kept your face glued to the ground for a long moment.

“You look different, I didn’t recognize you yesterday..”

You pulled out one of the stools.

“I told you I needed change.”

He pulled another out beside you.

“I know, I just don’t know what I was expecting.”

“This must be so confusing.”

“It is, but I’m betting it was more confusing for you that it could be for anybody else.”

Leaning on the counter, you looked up at him.

“I guess so. In my home town I figured that they’d be a little more angry than confused so I left..” you stopped, taking a breath, “I didn’t want to leave you, Arthur.”

Arthur sat there silently, his eyes turned towards the counter.

You couldn’t help but stare, you haven’t seen him in so long, his eyebrows were slightly scrunched downward, his pretty blue eyes focused on nothing as his mind raced. His fingers tapped against the counter every few seconds. You tried not to let that anxious feeling in your chest build, but the longer he was silent, the harder it got to push down.

“You said you aren't happy anymore..”

You blinked.

“I wasn't.”

“How about now? Are you happy now?”

“I'm.. I have more good days than I did before, so…yeah, I'm happy.”

He stayed silent for another moment. You figured he was just trying to find his words.

Then, when he did speak,

“I still love you.”

You sighed, “I still love you, too, Arthur.”

Another long silence passed. It was odd, you've dreamed of seeing him again, all the damn time. And now that he's here you didn't know what to say. Your relationship, how ever strong it was before, was dying. Even though you loved him and he loved you.

Arthur was having similar thoughts, he didn't care how much you changed, he wanted you to be happy. That's all he wanted for you. But he wants to be with you, he doesn't care that your a man, it doesn't matter to him, he doesn't think it's ever mattered. He's never thought too hard about it. But now, with you sitting there looking the way you did. Looking so different, so muchlike yourself, so much more at peace even though you were being confronted, he thought, ‘yeah, I could be with a man.’

Before he could, you took a chance.

“How long you thinking of staying in town for, Arthur?”

———-

You laughed, he missed your laugh.

“You can't just go around taking people's clothes off!”

“I needed clothes and they were so drunk they wouldn't miss them!” you argued.

“How have you not been caught yet?”

“I bought new clothes!”

“Why couldn't you do that first?”

“I needed to avoid suspicion.”

“Avoid suspicious by stealing clothes..”

You laughed again.

You and Arthur had found your way upstairs, both of you sat on the floor, leaning back against the wall. He asked you how you ended up here, it was funny, explaining to Arthur, a known outlaw, the various ways you broke the law, and having him lecture you.

“I will not take this from an outlaw!”

“You're an outlaw too, now, Clothes Bandit.”

“Oh that's awful, why couldn't I get something good?”

“‘Good’ like what?”

“I don't know, you're better at naming things than I am.”

He looked over at you a small smile on his face.

“Really now, Mr. Y/n, how’d you come up with that anyways?”

“Well I found a baby naming book.”

He sat up, giving you a look.

“Are you serious?”

You looked at him for a second, a stren expression on your face, then slowly a smile broke out on your face.

“You're an ass.”

“You really think I got Y/n for a baby naming book?”

“You could have!”

“But I didn't-”

Eventually, after showing him your room and the various aspects of your new life that you adored (yes, the tub too), you headed back down to the bar, only to see Daniel, one of Johnny’s friends, behind the bar serving himself.

“Daniel, I'm going to kill you, how many drinks have you had?” you said, rushing over to him, snatching both the glass and bottle from his hand.

“One-” you gave him a look, he caved quickly with a sigh, “five.”

“Goddamnit.”

“‘M sorry, you are closed, your never closed!”

“I wouldn't be serving drinks this early anyways!”

He laughed, walking around to the other side of the bar, “I'm special though right? Won't get shot or banned or nothing?” he practically pleaded, but formed it like a question.

“No, you're not banned, but you still need to leave.”

He sighed, dragging himself out the door.

Sighing yourself, you turned to Arthur, “See what I have to deal with?”

“‘Seems like a handful.”

“Daniel is harmless, he's just an alcoholic.”

“Never met a harmless alcoholic.”

“He's harmless now, he doesn't want to risk almost getting shot again.”

Arthur laughed, sitting at the bar, just like had yesterday, “Who shot at him?”

You stared at him for a moment.

“You?”

“I gave him plenty of warning, see that hole in the wall that there—” you pointed to the very back wall of the tavern, between two tables was a loosely patched hole, “- warning shot, missed him by an inch.”

“Who the hell taught you how to shoot?”

“I taught myself, maybe I could teach you sometime.”

“Very funny, y/n, I wouldn't mind seeing you shoot sometime though.”

“There's a range in the next town, I could take you there sometime.”

The two of you talked until the sun had fully set and the town had gone quiet. The bar made you feel more open somehow, it always did. Arthur helped too, you guess. You missed him, you missed being like this, so normal with him. You were surprised his quickly things settled back in place, like neither of you had ever left. It was clear that you were different, but Arthur seemed to accept this change flawlessly. He never messed up, seemingly having ingrained every aspect of your new life into his mind.

Y/n, Mr.Y/n, Sir, he even called you handsome, you swear you nearly fell over when he did.

By midnight, you both were tired, and despite what he planned before, which was bringing you- if it was you, back to camp with him. But that plan never fell through, you ended up pulling him into the bathroom with you. You thought you'd be uncomfortable at first, but you figured if he was going to be back in your life you should get used to him seeing you naked again. But it wasn't, it was calm, comforting. You were thankful for your massive bath, the both of you fit well, you sat behind him, his hat tossed in on top of the heap of clothes you two had left, you ran your fingers through his hair, water from your hands running down his face. He hummed in contempt. He didn't speak much at first, simply enjoying you and your presence. It wasn't until the water had begun to cool and the cold air of the Nevada night started to seep in did he pressed himself closer to you, muttering something quietly.

It wasn't until you got out, long after the water cooled, we're you able to figure out what he was saying. You had some clothes you figured might fit Arthur, something you'd bought impulsively without actually checking to see if you could fit it.

“You have…nice arms-” he muttered.

You were pulling your pants up over your waist when he spoke, you turned to look at him, one hand holding your unbuttoned pants up, you asked, “Arthur, are you drunk?”

“No, no I'm just…real tired.”

“Didn't get much sleep?”

“I didn't sleep, I kept thinking of you.”

“When was the last time you slept?”

He groaned, “Tuesday, I was on watch Wednesday, I was pre occupied by your ass on Thursday, and now here we are.”

“Fucking Christ, go to sleep.”

“I want to look at you, I missed you-”

“I'll be here in the morning Arthur.”

He didn't respond for a long moment, you figured he dozed off finally, until you decided to switch shirts, shoving the one you had on into your drawer and pulling out another.

“You have a nice back too-”

“Good night, Arthur.”

Your night ended with you curling up around Arthur, your arms nearly wrapped completely around him. You didn't dream again tonight, your usual fantasies of seeing Arthur were deemed useless now and we're thrown out with the rest of today's mental trash.

[waiitwotworkshop]

*ahem* gaang headcanons? very specifically, transfem zuko headcanons?

YAYY

Zuko goes by Lin and everyone thinks that’s her new name so they try not to deadname her, so when anyone refers to her as zuko they all cringe and try to defend her. Only for her to be like ‘idk why you guys kept calling me Lin, we’re not in public”

Zuko is sm more sensitive abt her hair. She is crying inside when she cuts it off at the end of s1 when it starts growing back in she’s so happy. It grows back a little wavy and it’s such a cute cut that makes her look feminine even w short hair.

Somehow attracts guys while working at the tea shop. This includes jet (ugh) but ultimately they don’t go further than some weird flirting which is actually just insulting each other. Jin still has a crush on her but she doesn’t go on a date with her because iroh just assumes she’s straight(it’s debatable)

Sokka rlly likes girls who can beat him up so naturally he gets a crush. This hot girl is mean to him but sometimes laughs at his jokes he’s absolutely falling for her. And he loves to treat her delicately even though she can clearly handle herself. This is where we get into some divergence from canon (other than the obvious lmao) canon zuko would not want someone to treat him so fragile but Sokka does it so lovingly that she can’t help but love it. Like ‘omg a puddle let me carry you over it so you don’t get mud on your shoes :3’ just being such a gentleman and zuko is so in love with it because she’s never been treated so gently. Ugh just imagine him being so lovesick over zuko, like ‘yes darling, anything u say darling ^^’ this is basically canon do u see the way he treats suki lol. I just love the thought of this grumpy loser doing a complete switch when it comes to zuko.

She wouldn’t go back to the firenation with Azula because she /can’t/ her father would definitely not accept her like this so this is a hypothetical but she would hate being expected to be Mai’s bf again. And she tries to give her a seashell bc she thinks it’s nice and /she’s/ a girl and likes it so why the hell doesn’t Mai like it too. She’s definitely jealous of the girls getting attention so her and azula r just pissed together.

Zuko is 10x more nervous around katara bc she desperately wants them to be friends. She just thinks back to how Azula made friends so easily and how zuko was so bad at it/didn’t want to hang out with guys that she just tagged along like a loser. She’s so desperate to finally make her own friend that she also tags along to wherever katara is and cringes at herself every time they interact. When suki joins the gaang and three of them hang out she’s secretly ecstatic.

I will literally go on abt trans girl zuko forever I’m so happy to have an excuse to talk abt her someone please ask me more

[thatfanficauthor107]

TRANS DAICHI HEADCANONS WOO

he’s trans ftm

came out as trans to Yui during Junior High, she’s been his biggest supporter since

didn’t tell the karasuno team he was a trans guy he just let them assume he was cis

he did eventually come out to them (accidentally) (it went so well he wasn’t expecting that)

not on T, hasn’t had any surgeries

his parents aren’t supportive :(

“HIP DIPS” the crowd screams in unison

”STRETCH MARKS” the crowd screams even louder

his periods are actually pretty heavy, though the cramps aren’t

never corrects people who deadname/misgender him (doesn’t feel like he needs to make a huge deal about it even though it hurts)

Suga will though. And he does it well.

When the rest of the team found out, you bet your biscuits they corrected people, some subtle, some with threats.

He wasn’t planning on telling anyone he was trans outside of the team, but some kids who went to his junior high finally made the connection and told his whole year (by extension some of the younger years, and then when they go to matches and stuff they can always hear rumours about “apparently their captain is a girl”- people are usually on the more transphobic side) (writing a fic about this)

so this means that kuroo and the other captains eventually found out, and they were actually super accepting of Daichi (who was so nervous to talk with them after the rumours spread)

his whole family still use his deadname and call him a girl (but the sugawara family has basically adopted him as their own at this point, and treat him like a boy)

his deadname is Yukio (he thinks its a nice name, but has grown to dislike it as whenever he hears it someone is deadnaming him or being transphobic)

doesn’t feel like many people see him as a boy (even those who do see him as one)

getting a place on the boys volleyball team was a huge struggle (but Yui’s mum was a huge help)

was so happy to finally play on a boys team (also was terrified because he’d never hung out w a group of boys before)

loads of the girls in their year have just adopted him and will give anyone who even looks at him the wrong way absolute hell (he at first thought this was because they saw him as a girl, turns out half of them still thought he was cis and that he was just a girls boy. They all hang out and gossip together, so Daichi always knows everything about everyone. Some of them are in the tech department, specifically makeup and product design stuff, so they usually end up testing stuff on him.)

that lead to far more dating allegations than he was happy with

hates hates HATES the jokes people make about his thighs. he knows they’re just affectionate jokes and nothing intentionally mean, but his thighs are one of his biggest insecurities and the jokes really don’t help

his younger siblings call him Yukio and their brother - they’re confused but trying

suga always reminds him, sometimes more subtly, that he sees him as a boy (referring to him as ‘my awesome boyfriend’ ‘my husband’ ‘mister’ ‘future mr sugawara’ ‘my favourite boy’)

daichi once made the connection jokingly between pinocchio and transmen (both want to be real boys) and his contact name has been saved as pinocchio on yui’s phone ever since

[crazy-pages]

Yes - your experiences with RHPC are also there to mistreat and degender trans women. It's indicative of your privilege why these spaces were "welcoming" to you. Learn to realize that instead of shutting your ears.

I am begging you to get out more. Please, actually go to a Rocky Horror Picture Show showing! You don't even have to go in! Just look at the crowd that shows up. You have this absolutely detached from reality notion of who is watching it and why, and I swear on any god you care to name, if you actually go to one you will see throngs of trans women having an amazing time. It's not for everyone, sure, but (and I can't believe I have to say this) no part of the queer community is a monolith and you need to actually try and understand the experiences of others who feel differently than you.

But no, you know what? I'm gonna put a positive note on this.

Buckle in, I'm planning on making up for all the negativity around this with quite a bit of positivity and it's gonna be long.

The very first time I watched Rocky Horror Picture Show, I was in college, freshman year. I knew I was a bi guy by that point, had dated a guy*, and still felt absolutely petrified being openly bi around strangers. I had no idea how messy my queerness actually was by this point.

*She turned out to be a transfeminine mostly woman genderfluid person later, but at the time it was my first gay relationship.

I'd just had a talk with a straight guy on my floor. He'd made some comments about how he supported pride, but like ... not the gay people who are so out there, you know? That's just uncomfortable.

And damn me, I agreed with him. Not because I actually agreed with him but because the thought of disagreeing petrified me. I didn't know how to say that I actually wanted to be one of those out there queer people. That I wanted to have that bravery. I want it to be accepted, of course, but gods I also craved the simply bravery of people who hung pride flags in their own rooms. Who felt confident enough to say any flavor of "I don't fucking care if you want it, I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it."

And then a trans girl I'd met during orientation invited me to watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show with her. I had no idea what this was. But she got what felt like every damn queer freshman in the entire dorm together. Gay, bi, trans, whatever. Our straight friends? Sure. Some of us who turned out to be very queer later and who she somehow clocked? You betcha. She got us all together in the dorm lounge, which was open and faced the elevator. Every single person moving through the dorm that evening would be able to see us.

And she put The Rocky Horror Picture Show on.

It was every single queerphobic stereotype the 70s could throw together. Transmisogyny? Hah! That shit went beyond transmisogynistic depiction, the demons out of the fevered imaginings of 70s straight culture weren't broken down into categories. Faggot? Dyke? Tranny? They all meant the same thing and it was totally indistinguishable to your average suburban straight person in the 70s. They had no damn concept up there being a difference between a guy who wants to fuck other guys and a guy who pretends to be a woman. The decree of vicious stereotypical othering on display was literally beyond current conception. It was everything that straight guy I had talked to was thinking of when he said "gay people who are so out there", distilled and refined.

And it. Was. Joyous.

It was a movie which took hold of all of those stereotypes, even the explicitly predatory and infectious and doomsaying ones, and screamed "YES! SO FUCKING WHAT!? WE'RE HERE, WE'RE QUEER, AND WE FUCKING LOVE IT!" It is a movie which takes the stuffy suburban point of view characters and makes them queer. It does so in a way that embodies every aspect of the 70s fear of infectious homosexual permiscuity and then shows it as joyous! As liberating and wonderful and the best fucking experience of their lives!! Its characters were messy and full of conflict and doomed from the beginning and also gloriously fucking alive and happy to be queer!!!

At the end of it the trans girl I'd met during orientation, who would go on to be my friend for the next decade to this day, asked me what I thought of it.

I said I really liked it.

I meant it had changed my life.

She started gushing about it, and a lot of the freshman went back to their dorms at this point, but the rest of us talked for what must have been longer than the movie itself about all of the queerness in it. Yeah about the trans misogynistic stereotypes and the homophobic stereotypes and the complicated way the movie both mirrors and subverts the way 70s discourse about queer culture and even the way it elided cis queer women. And we did it all in plain view of everybody. We were the queers in your face and it meant the world to me.

The second time I went to a Rocky Horror Picture Show showing, I was actually invited by a straight friend who was invited by some queer friends he didn't know quite as well as me. (It really ended up being the two of us going together.) I was living in Arizona at the time, which is not quite as bad as the Deep South but still pretty damn conservative and it made being openly queer scary as hell.

I had realized at the time that I liked wearing skirts. Like, really liked wearing skirts. A lot. Lots of gender euphoria about it. Now like I said, my queerness is messy. I am very much a man. I am also pretty sure I want to get bottom surgery someday. I genuinely don't know if that makes me cis or trans. Hell I'm not sure what the word for that even is. Transsexual maybe?? But at that time, I was still figuring it all out. I didn't know if I was a trans woman or not. I knew I didn't really feel like a woman or want to be a woman or vibe with feminine secondary sex characteristics, but like ... I dunno when you're getting euphoria over wearing skirts and in the deep dark recesses of your mind you think you want a vagina, it's kind of impossible to not ask that question.

And the thing is, I had never been out in public in a skirt before. I'd never even been out in public with makeup before.

But I had that experience with Rocky Horror Picture Show to draw on. I knew that showings of this movie were where you go to be openly, loudly, unapologetically queer.

So I put on a skirt and a see-through shirt and really intense makeup (not in this picture unfortunately) and the biggest smile I felt like I'd ever worn in my life, and I went to The Rocky Horror Picture Show with my friend.

Now for those of you who don't know, there's a tradition at showings where people who haven't attended a showing before get marked with a V for virgin, and called up on stage before the showing to get kind of lightly sexually hazed. It was very explicitly done with consent at the showing I went to, everybody was made to understand they could bow out at any point and that it was all in good fun and in the service of expanding people's boundaries. Stuff like being asked to kiss other people in queer ways, encouraging a blushing baby lesbian to motorboat a hot older woman in leather, getting two guys to do an overwrought romance improv, etc.

And when I got to the door with my friend, there was someone working the door who was some flavor of queerly transfeminine and supremely confident about it. She looked at my friend and immediately asked him if he'd been before and gave him the V. (He came in a tshirt and jeans.) Then she looked at me.

And I'm never going to forget what she said.

She gave me a look up and down, chuckled, and said, "Yeah you've done this before, go on in."

I had not actually done this before, I hadn't gone to a proper showing and so I missed out on the virgin experience, but I could not bring myself to care. Because I was riding the high of her comment for days. I'm still riding it, to be honest.

She hadn't recognized me as any particular gender or flavor of queerness. All I knew was that she had seen a visibly masculine dude with a buzz cut and a skirt and poorly done makeup and said "Oh yeah. You're one of us. ❤️"

Also my straight friend had a great fucking time and we ended up gushing about it for like an hour afterward and I got to pass on a bunch of the stuff I learned from my old trans friend about the history of the queerphobic stereotypes on display and the underlying meaning of aggressively joyous claiming of that from the '70s queer movement.

So yeah. It is a movie which portrays queerness as intrinsically alien to straight society. The creator is a genderqueer man who believes that trans women are women, but an intrinsically different flavor of women, an opinion which has aged very poorly and quite justifiably gotten him scorned by the modern trans community. And some modern queer people, especially trans women who are sensitive to portrayals of transmisogyny, are going to feel uncomfortable with the movie.

And yet.

I've had people in my DMs and anons in my asks yelling at me for saying there are transwomen who like this movie, and that the question of whether it's trans misogynistic is more complicated than whether it portrays transmisogynistic stereotypes. Most of those have involved people screaming at me that they're sure it must have only been trans men and tme (transmisogyny excluded) people attending showings (and you could really feel the sprayed derisive spittle as they typed those terms), that it's impossible for any true trans woman to enjoy showings of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

And to those people, and to you, all I can hope to do is share these experiences with you and hope you try to understand the different queer experiences of others.

Not just mine.

But the experience of a trans girl who I'm sure was feeling even more alone and isolated as a queer freshman than I was. Who assembled a whole group of queer kids, who sat with her to take the very nightmare stereotypes which haunted her every day and turn them into a weapon of raucous joy and in your face queer solidarity with her.

And the experience of the person at the door of my first showing, queer and transfeminine and supremely confident about it, seeing some baby queer looking like every damn flavor of masculinity rocking up in a skirt and poorly done makeup. Saying "Hey kid. You're one of us," and watching the baby queer's face light up like a million Christmas trees.

You don't have to like the movie. But the people who like it? Are here, are queer, are - yes - even trans women.

Get used to it.

[beanghostprincess]

Thoughs on Transfem Luffy? Personally I actually love this concept, some of my main hcs are:

- She comes out after Garp leaves her with Dadan so when he first sees her bounty posters he thinks he is going crazy at first

- Design is literally the same but with pigtails and the classic op girl eyes

- She casually nentions being trans after a visit from Chopper and everybody is cool with that. (Exept sanji)

- Amazpn Lily is a nightmare at first but after explaining herself Boa makes misgendering her a crime

- Impel Down is a lot more interesting

- Akainu is the only transphobic person in op and he gets his ass beaten

- Sabo cries (of joy) at Dressrosa for her

- Wano is more interesting too

Very very positive thoughts about transfem Luffy. She's my beloved. My little ball of chaos. The same exact as our canon Luffy but with different pronouns and somehow I imagine her to be even more unhinged because you wouldn't expect a cutie pie like her to be so damn chaotic.

Honestly, the whole thing is just something so cute to me. Makino? Dadan? Ace? Sabo? Shanks? They'd all support her like crazy. Ace and Sabo would beat the shit out of anyone saying anything bad about her while Makino teaches her (and her brothers) how to do her hair so it doesn't bother her while playing/running/training. This makes even more sense now because both Shanks and Dragon give major girl dad energy, so of course they'd love her (thinking about Dragon seeing the first Wanted poster and being thrilled about it and mourning a bit not being able to see her). Uta!!! Uta would tell her to be more feminine and delicate but she'd end up being charmed by her freedom, so she'd also beat the shit out of anyone who doesn't consider her sister a girl. Luffy is very nonchalant and careless about these things but is very stubborn so she gets frustrated when someone doesn't respect her identity. She's all like "I am a girl but I still wanna do stuff boys do, y'know? It just feels right to do whatever I want but, uh, as a girl. It makes sense".

Not to mention that she'd come out in the worst moment possible, in the most sudden way, and everyone in the crew would accept her but they'd be so astonished because Luffy is just so damn stupid and blunt sometimes. Also, I think it'd be good for Sanji to learn about trans girls... It'd help Sanji... In so many ways... The closet is glass for Sanji too but this isn't about her...

Amazon Lily is even better because Boa and Luffy would've been even greater friends (even though I love the whole "Luffy being the only guy she feels safe with" I also think that Boa acknowledging trans girls in an island specifically for women would be awesome).

Akainu can go rot in hell. If someone's transphobic in this show, it is him only.

Sabo!!!!!!! Sabo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sabo would be the best brother ever to his sister. I just know that he'd be even more protective than he is now even knowing she can protect herself. Like that's his baby sister!!! And he'd be so happy to see her again and realizing she has the family and support she has always wanted!! The fact that she lives free and by her own ideals is enough for Sabo to be the happiest.

Wano is more interesting because she'd actually relate to Yamato's experience!!!!!!!! Trans besties!!!!!!!!! And Kiku!!!!!! Wano truly is the trans arc...

Overall, I believe she'd be the exact same as she is now but would easily get bothered by people telling her she's not a girl or saying that she isn't girly enough. She'd be ruthless and yet the cutest thing ever. Btw, she'd still go shirtless/topless even if she gets boobs because she does not care about it lmao--

I've been saying we need more Luffy female protagonists, tbh. It'd be soooo good for the story and would add more to the topics of freedom and liberation.