#and if i said im a teacher too then what
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
I don't think I've ever been this frustrated with a fic before. It's genuinely one of the best reads this fandom has to offer; the plot, the characters, the pacing all work very well. And yet! Each time I got immersed in the story, something (like a lack of periods at the end of sentences, characters' names without capital letters, no commas in obvious places, sometimes a word or two that got skipped for no reason) kicked me out of it.
I'm just really confused why you didn't think it'd make this fic even better, if you put each chapter in any free writing app (even google docs) and check it for spelling and punctuation mistakes. You don't need a beta. Your writing is great. It would take a moment, and then your work would be excellent.
Maybe minor mistakes catch my attention because I'm a teacher and English is my 3rd language. I get you don't want to obsessively check every paragraph or you're dyslexic. We have software for this!
You're clearly very hard-working, so it shouldn't be a problem to check your text for silly mistakes (that we all make). Correcting them, next time you write something, won't take more than 5 minutes of your time. But the effects will be there.
hi condescending internet stranger! i've actually been in the process of slowly going back and doing some basic edits. i'd like to bring to your attention that I am in graduate school, I work TWO jobs on top of Freelancing and still make time for this. this was originally supposed to be something fun for me and what I assumed was the couple hundred or so people that would engage. it's been deeply overwhelming for me to see the response its gotten. usually it's great. but people like you are making putting out more work extremely stressful because the pressure to be perfect is umm. a lot. and not why i started fic writing in the first place. this is a free labor of love i am putting out because I LIKE IT.
i guarantee you that diligently going over every single word of a 90k long piece of work takes up a LOT more than five minutes of my time, which may i remind you - you aren't entitled to any of. I do the best i can considering I often have 12 hour days.
i actually do run it through a basic checker. so miss me with that. what i will not do is run it through an AI software - which based on your tone is what I'm guessing you suggest I do. and accusing someone of having a learning disability is kind of insane - especially for a teacher ?! i'd really suggest you watch yourself with that kind of language. much more harmful than missing a few periods.
have a nice day :)
#purposefully injected a lot of grammatical errors in here just for funsies :)#sorry this is so agressive lol#its just. i am like. so so so bogged down with work. and to put out like 80k of free story just to have people like this be like umm.#thats cute and all but do you have a learning disability?#MISS ME WITH THATTTTT#but yes if you are curious i am doing a lot of editing. trying to balance doing that and keeping up to pace with putting something out 2nit#personally when i read fic and there are errors im like ok you know what fair fine. this is literally someones free work they are doing wit#their free time#'im a teacher' you say#and if i said im a teacher too then what#sflksajdhf you think i pulled everything in coming home out of my ass
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
152 notes
·
View notes
Text
gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow
#life update if anyone gaf we're now at the point where i know i'm getting the adhd diagnosis and yet i STILL HAVE TO WAIT#like she just isnt sure if it's adhd or add (its norway theyre not gonna update the terms any time soon just roll with it)#and im just like. girl i don't give a fuck#its been so many years i cant do this anymore#we've talked to my fucking kindergarten teachers like 😭 they've investigated my entire life atp#to make sure i did in fact have all these issues from birth#because my word and my mum's word just isn't good enough i guess#like lets rely on the selective memories of random ass people ive encountered growing up this is ASININE#anyway my godmother had a 4h consultation the other day and got diagnosed on the spot#so now my mum is mad at her LMFAO#cause my mum's like. that bitch doesn't even have adhd. shes fine.#which i feel like is probably wrong but i agree with the sentiment#where is the deep dive investigation into her wholeass existence 😭#its cause she got to go private but they refuse to refer me to a private specialist so i have to keep going publuc#public#and if i go private on my own its too expensive plus the waitlist is years long#so. whatever. i guess.#man im so tired.#i will never ever ever forgive my psychiatrist from when i was 15 who said i probably had adhd but because i did ok in school its fine#and they wouldnt set the diagnosis#because the fact that i have papers from when i was 15 saying i don't have it is what's making this all so difficult#even though if you read all the papers it says i hit on EVERY SINGLE POINT#which is why the One Psych who listened to me is absolutely fuming losing her mind cause she can't understand why any of this happened#man i hate my fucking life lol
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't know how much more explicit the message of "THIS IS GROOMING" could have been without Be On Cloud superimposing it in all-caps text over every one of Non and his teacher's scenes. People interpreting that as "cheating" are cracked in the fucking head.
#dead friend forever#dff the series#barcode fucking killed those scenes!!! the desperation and discomfort and resignation!?!!#the fact that Non was textually terrified of dying at the hands of Tee's uncles gang unless he found that money#and once he accepted it and Keng held that power over him did he lean in to kiss him.#theres a reason that even universoty professors are fired for having relationships with their ADULT students.#because holding a position of institutional power over someone like that in a relationship is deeply deeply disfunctional and bad#do you think that if you were a child that felt they had literally nowhere else to turn. not to parents. or friends. or partner.#and a teacher said they would fix all your problems in a room with a closed door and kissed you.#you wouldnt feel obligated to kiss back and offer yourself up in exchange???#because what?? you're too moral??? you'd rather die???#THIS IS HOW GROOMING HAPPENS. ITS ADULTS SEEKING OUT THE MOST VULNERABLE PEOPLE IN THEIR CLASSES AND HOLDING SOMETHING OVER THEM.#IF I SEE ANYONE CALLING NON A CHEATER AGAIN I AM GOING TO KILL.#ITS STATUTORY RAPE. YOU THICK FUCKS.#KENG MADE HIM KEEP HIS SCHOOL UNIFORM ON. HE'S A FUCKING PEDOPHILE.#IM GOING TO KILL.#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOME OF YALL ARE THE STUPIDEST MOTHERFUCKERS AROUND. YOURE STUPID. YOURE SO FUCKING DUMB. GODDDDDDDDDDDDD
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
community college is so funny because half of the teachers are like "For this class you need to use lockdown browser for all quizzes and tests. You need to buy this 70 dollar textbook, and all papers turned in must be in APA format with a title page even if they're only 500 words long. I will not accept late assignments. Also you have a minimum of 4 assignments a week." and the other half are like "you don't need proctoring for the final exam I trust you. here's a download link to a pirated copy of the textbook. as long as your writing is coherent and demonstrates an understanding of the material I literally could not care less what format you use. I can't figure out how canvas works so I'm not giving you due dates, just make sure it's turned in before the grading period ends. your only weekly assignment is a forum post with a minimum of 100 words."
#my favorite teacher so far is still the film history professor I had in my first semester.#he was very old and didn't understand how canvas worked at all and sometimes had trouble opening a video file#but simultaneously he was tech literate enough to recommend we use firefox with an ad blocker#because whenever someone missed class and was like 'where do i go to find the movie' he'd be like 'use an ad blocker and google it'#he said the school made him stop emailing links to free movie sites because people would open them on chrome with no ad block#and there'd be borderline malware on them. like this guy gave me the impression he was like. a veteran movie pirate lol.#that class had barely any assignments. like there wasn't a final exam or anything.#he just wanted us to write a paragraph or so answering a few questions about the movies we watched. it was chill.#and i also learned a lot actually. like i didn't know what a nickelodeon was before then. or the Hays Code.#the movies were genuinely good. i never thought Id be that into old black and white movies or westerns for example but they actually slapped#some of them had really mature themes and i definitely started to understand the people on this website who are like#'if the only media you consume is children's media you should maybe branch out instead of calling steven universe problematic'#because a lot of the movies we watched depicted very 'problematic' things and were able to directly address them because they are for adults#(to clarify I didn't just like kids media before then. i just mean that it introduced me to some older stuff i didn't think I'd like)#(but i ended up liking a lot. it also made me realize that movies made today are kind of shit. which i also already knew)#(but it put it more into perspective because I have more to compare it to)#im rambling now. community college is pretty swag i enjoy it. and i do get along with the teachers who have crazy requirements too lol.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I WROTE A STORY ABOUT LIKE WHAT IF SAM DIDNT MAKE IT FOR CHAPTER TRIP TO THE COUNTRY BUT I WROTE IT ON PAPER FIRST. LATER ON I ASKED MY ENGLISH TEACHER OF SHE COULD PROOFREAD IT AND SHE SAID YES
#SHE SEND ME A PICTURE OF THE PAPER#Didnt have that much mistake so YAAYYYYYY#MY TEACHER IS SO NICE MAN#SRS#AND DUDE ONCE SHE SAID IM A NICE KID TOO INFRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS AND I WAS LIKE#IDK WHAT TO SAY#MEANWHILE MY FRIEND BESIDES ME IS PATTING MY BACK LIKE “Dude congratulations”#thoughts#random ramblings#mafia definitive edition#sam trapani#mafia#tommy angelo#mafia 1#paulie lombardo
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
My five year old has his very first day of kindergarten tomorrow 🥺🥺🥺 I didn’t expect to be hit with such a huge wave of emotions but I’ve been a WRECK all day
#personal#he’s so excited#we’ve been talking about school for so long and he’s so excited that it’s finally here!#and a little nervous too he said but he keeps asking about the other kids and if he gets to have lots of friends now#he really liked his teacher when he met her and he’s excited to see her#the only thing that tripped him up a little was when I told him that me and his daddy are bringing him to the school but we can’t go with#that he has to just listen to his teacher and we’ll see him after school 🥺#I’m mostly worried that he’s not going to get enough food at school because he doesn’t eat very fast at home#he doesn’t focus well on meals#I’m hoping that positive peer pressure helps him with that#if he sees the other kids eating he will hopefully follow their lead#he’s going to be taking the bus home as well and I’m nervous about that for him too#even though it’s silly because his bus will pick him up in the morning and bring him directly to the school and then drop him off first#after school#he’ll be on it for maybe 20 minutes each day#I just worry too much#i worry about how issues he might have that I can’t help with like what if it’s too cold in just one room#but I don’t know that and send him in shorts?#or what if he gets teased for things I can’t anticipate right now? how can I best set him up for success with his peers?#I only know what he likes not what other five year olds like#I don’t want him to feel like the odd one out#but maybe that’s inevitable at some point#I can’t protect him from the world if im not there 😔#that’s the hardest thing about it#obviously this is supposed to happen and school will be so good for him#but he was a tiny little baby just yesterday#at least that’s how it feels#they say it goes by fast but damn
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
this feels too soon to say because its still not well over a month that i started uni but like...
im quite happy by how things are going now- it doesn't feel all too restrained unlike my past school years. and apart from that, i feel a lot more independent being able to travel miles away from my home which has been my biggest anxiety as i got older. just the fear of getting lost spooks me a whole lot! even if i'm travelling through a planned route, going all by myself is probably the bravest thing i did this year and i say this as an introvert who doesn't go out all too often
#ive always wanted to share this sudden core memory of mine when i was grade 12: i liked my english teacher a lot and she made us write an-#-essay about something that.. i want to overcome? i think? i forgot but i remember my passage very well#i basically summarized that i feel i haven't developed that well as an adult in terms of maturity and feel that im very left out in social-#-situations. as well as feeling like a serious adult. i basically said that i wish i was given more time to get myself together#then when i got my paper back: my teacher had checked it with a little message near it: and it said something like#“it's okay to experience this - time will wait for you and you still much time to learn and grow” something like that. not verbatim but#that's what i remembered so well. when i read that i felt so happy and understood#i am not that close to my teachers but seeing that this teacher cared to really read my passage and not just check for grammar mademe joyous#so remembering that - and now that im in uni - typing this all out as i wait for my bus that will take an hour worth of travel to go to#i feel really accomplished#irl banter#~ rambling#yeah :)#my point is. you're never too late to learn new things
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
We’ve all got our own worries and frustrations, but regardless of whatever those frustrations may be, to strive to see that glass as half full, it’s something I’ve always tried to do, no matter what I’ve been up against in life. All I’m trying to say is just spread positive messages. It’s just as simple as that, really.
Louis on being a positive person and spreading positivity, Page Six
#yk whats funny#im a teacher in an ESL school anddddddd i have private 1-1 classes#and i was telling my student to listen to angels fly bc shes being doing some reading lyrics->translating it#and i told her to do that with angels fly#and i said 'its not a sad song#unless you know the context which we assume its about'#'#and i told her a bit louis losses and she was like#'i think i love him?'#and im like girl same me too the fuck#but its genuinely so him....#like#she said 'id never guess'#pagesix23#louis tomlinson#270723
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
DISTRACTIONS sometimes its the drive to help and save our friends that pushes us to learn and to succeed. unfortunately its normally ''unethical'' to replicate that in a classroom setting. I ONLY JUST FINISHED THE LAST PAGE HERE, THE FIRST TWO WERE LITERALLY FROM LAST YEAR, N A FEW MONTHS APART. LOOOOK AT MY EVOLUTION. im very proud of this and bled REALLY HARD FOR THE LAST PAGE. PLEASE ABSORB THIS.
#gillion tidestrider#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#the last page honestly just took super long bc i dropped it for a long while. only recently wiped the dust off o it.#IM RLY PROUD OF ALOT O THINGS ABT THAT LAST PAGE#LIKE THE PERSPECTIVE N THE WIDE SHOTS OR WHATEVER#IT WASNT EASY BUT I MADE IT LOOK GOOD!! IM SO HAPPY WITH IT#I ALSO just really love drawing gillion as soooo small#just a little guy with the weight of the world bolted to his tiny tiny shoulders#n yknow what while im here ill talk abt the first two comics aswell. i like taking inspo from JTHM for this kinda stuff#more specifically SQUEE n the way his dad was just sooo honest and cruel to him. 'yeah its your fault my life sucks' n all that. i imagine#that gillion prolly dealt with alot o that too. i know weve already seen the elders#but i did initially imagine them to be very much like the Tallests from invader zim. they just hate this little guy. hes so small n lame#hes prolly had teachers like that im sure. i like thinkin about gills experience in school!!#i fell in love with him the moment he said that he wasnt good at being a student like girl ME TOOOO WAAAAAA#HE SUCKS In school and everyone is just sooo tired of him but they gotta put up with him bc hes the Chosen One#but GOD they wish they had someone more competent i bet. it was prolly a relief when they banished him#could u imagine being that? someone so insufferable that people sigh in relief when youre gone. poor poor gillion#ANYWAY THATS ALL MY THOUGHTS#TALK ABT UR THOUGHTS IN THE TAGS TOO DIPSHIIITT CMAAAHHNN
248 notes
·
View notes
Text
SCIENCE HOMEWORK I HATE YOU WHY😭😭💔💔💔
#im doing everything BUT NOT MY FUCKING SCIENCE HOMEWORK#i hate my science teacher#she said shed be moving some people next lesson WHILE LOOKING AT ME AND MY FRIENDS DEAD IN THE EYES#AND GUESS WHAT???#WE WERE MOVED TO THE 4 CORNERS OF THE CLASSROOM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK#i predicted that btw i believe i am genius#me and my friend are now doing made up sign language to communicate from across the classroom#what our teacher didnt account for was that me and my friend can see each other PERFECTLY and no one is in the way so slay#ALSO SHE GAVE US SO MUCH HW#ITS DUE TMR BUT HONESTLY ILL TAKE THE DETENTION MY GOD I HATE THIS#i understand like HALF of the things on this fucking booklet😭😭#im too lazy to actually write the shit i know though💔💔#sighhhh#jorge rivera herrans save me💔💔#epic is my newest hyperfixation btw :3#ANYWAYS!#i have science EVERY FUCKING DAY I HATE IT SO MUCH💔💔#my teacher is out for MY BLOOD#but i fear i cooked last lesson so who cares anymore (i don't remember shit anymore) (bad memory)#this is just pure yap st this point#im stalling chat💔💔#OKAY ILL GO DO MY SCIENCE HW (i wont🫶)#kadens yap session
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can't wait to be a mom someday
#tradlife#tradwife#tradblr#catholic#traditional gender roles#slow living#homemaker#homemaking#cozy aesthetic#cozycore#cottagecore#talked with my boyfriend about getting engaged the other day#he wants to wait a bit until hes closer to finishing up with the military and me finishing up my masters#he said he was a little envious of a colleague who brought in their little kid into work#not in like a bad way but in a 'aw i want one' sort of way#we've talked about being parents and how great our little family would be and how well we could share what we know#we're both unique and he can help with sports and outside work and i can teach them music and cooking and homemaking#and he joked he can teach the boys how to make edible food lol#which i said no one is escaping the kitchen. everyone is going to at least know the basics of cooking because its a skill#and maybe our future boys will need to help their wives someday or at least when they're bachelors#but i cant wait#i am a professional violinist and music teacher so when i say i can teach them music im quite serious#im going into violin/viola performance for my masters#and i could sing professionally but im fine with just cantoring for church#they appreciate it#i have to wait at least two years to get married to finish my masters but i am really looking forward to having a family#maybe we can have a family right away too#thats be nice#just really looking forward to the future#just gotta make it through grad school
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.
#not said sarcastically or as a vent by the way I genuinely find it so terribly amusing. you think I have it together ? aw <3 you fool.#i’ve been pacing around my room like a starving lion since the past week in whatever free time i’ve had.#and i keep getting people in my messages begging me for last minute help ? which is endearing but. i’m hanging on for dear life myself#helping isn’t foreign to me; i have 4 (?) people in my class who almost exclusively refer to me as ma’am and even refer to me as a teacher.#but helping last minute is so. deeply chaotic.#and I have this issue with me where having others around me makes me immediately drop into a ‘role’ of sorts?#i’ll be freaking out but then someone else starts freaking out around me and my immediate response is to just.#hey. we are going to make it out of this. it’s easy as pie. do you see me worried? no right? <- on the verge of hyperventilating#there’s this one guy in particular who got so excited to find out we have the exact same examination set-up tomorrow.#i gave him like basic pointers and i don’t think i’ve ever been thanked so earnestly and desperately in my life.#i remember during mocks my friends would message me what I wrote in questions and then they’d immediately go oh thank Fuck.#they’d literally just act like they’re absolutely going to pass now just because we had points in common.#as if i’m some sort of fucked up correct answer sheet incarnate.#it’s genuinely really sweet to me though; like i’m not posting this ranting or such.#having so much faith in another to the point that you can put yourself completely at ease says. alot i think.#and i’m glad i can be that person for so many.#and I feel like it helps me in a way too because i become so concerned with others that I forget to drown myself in my worries.#i forget that I’m worried because there are others to care about and console and help. so i suppose they help me in a way as well.#but also who is going to be that person for ME. who is going to console ME. im going fucking neurotic /jest#<- woman with ego issues & control issues who would rather die than accept help.#sigh. oh well. I’m sure we’ll do just fine. cannot wait#🥀🍷 — colloquy.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh
#everhoneignore this post classic rant post i don't have real problems everyone can move along#truly have had such a bad couple of days here and i am not even close to finishing the assignments i need to finish in welding being in#clsss makes me want to quit and die i don't know why i'm so slow i don't know why everyone else can intuit this stuff and improve and#understand how to do it and im always always falling behind if i could try harder wouldn't i be able to do that ive got no drive to push#myself at all i guess i like the english and i can do the physics i thought i at least liked drafting and metals fabrication but i feel so#stupid everything i do makes me feel so stupid and my teacher talks to me like i'm always doing everything wrong when i do some classroom#ettiquette breaches that everyone else does too and i can't get myself to go to sleep on time can't get myself to go in early i have hours#and hours and hours and i blink and it's gone and i've done nothing i should've welded today and gone in early to draft but i didn't because#im stupid and im slow and i can't do anything right i have always been able to square away a little bit of pride on being precise on doing#things well because people are always telling me that i am but i am below average here i just can't do things right and i feel like everyone#hates me and thinks i'm obnoxious and i don't know how to interface with my class or my teacher or how to improve or how to be less anxious#and i feel even stupider for that because i am so stuck up not being able to deal with even a little bit of failure or issue or hardship#and everyone around me is sick all my classmates and people in my dorm are sick im sure it's covid they haven't said it's covid but none of#them would test and i've been wearing a mask again but im certainly been exposed to it already and no one else is wearing a mask anyway so#what difference does it even make and i can hear them coughing in my dorm and in the classroom and when i go to get food and i miss seeing#my friends from philly and everuthing will be terrible forever and ever#alex talks
2 notes
·
View notes