#and i told her a bit louis losses and she was like

[dailytomlinson]

We’ve all got our own worries and frustrations, but regardless of whatever those frustrations may be, to strive to see that glass as half full, it’s something I’ve always tried to do, no matter what I’ve been up against in life. All I’m trying to say is just spread positive messages. It’s just as simple as that, really.

Louis on being a positive person and spreading positivity, Page Six

[1d1195]

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Woohoo! I did it! I kept a schedule! Hope you enjoy it!

~5.4k words of a ridiculous jealous Harry hehehehe (oh and I guess it's a little angsty too 🙄)

Reminder: I know nothing about business. I just be making it all up.

Overtired, overworked, and missing his love.

It was a recipe for jealous disaster.

Harry was a lovesick idiot when it came to her. It wasn’t his fault; not entirely. It was almost... involuntary. He had never loved anyone the way he loved her. She was utterly adorable. It was inexplainable. The moment he laid eyes on her, he turned to mush. It was a miracle he could focus when they were in the same meetings.

She knew how crazy he could get over the most minor of things. Or rather, what she considered minor. Harry had a way of making a mountain out of a mole hill. Especially at work.

Especially with Niall.

After that original bout of jealousy he faced, (back when she practically hit rock-bottom romantically with Harry mad at her from being consoled by Niall, financially by a stolen debit card, and mentally between the mean coworker and her family dramatics) Harry really thought his possessiveness and his grumpiness had disappeared. It wasn’t right. Niall was his best friend, and he didn’t want to feel that way. Obviously, he trusted her and of course he trusted his best friend of years and years. Niall was his favorite business partner.

It made him happy that the pair of them got along so well.

Most of the time.

Harry couldn’t lie it sent a pang of frustration through him when they had inside jokes making them giggle without Harry being privy to the fun. Harry knew it wasn’t purposeful. Lord knew he had plenty of inside jokes with just Niall. There was stuff that he had only ever told her. Stuff he knew only he knew about either of them. But he was so in love with her, so completely taken and infatuated that the little green-eyed monster took control of his mind and his involuntary responses before he could control it.

It hadn’t appeared in their life in a really long time.

But Harry was overtired, overworked, and just really missed his beautiful love. With the loss of the big client, he was struggling to maintain a semblance of normalcy. He didn’t want people to fear for their livelihood. As grumpy as he could be in meetings, he liked when people succeeded. It was a good show that his company was good. He wanted his employees to like coming to work. He didn’t want them to get scared or worried that there was problems.

There were people with husbands, wives, children, older family members and even adorable pets that needed to be taken care of and Harry didn’t want to be responsible for people’s financial insecurity. She tried to convince him to take a break, they would figure it out. But he didn’t want her help. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t her responsibility to fix his mistakes. He wanted to figure it out so that he didn’t have to disappoint everyone at the company.

So, Harry had spent almost every waking hour (and some non-waking hours) looking and researching for a solution. As such, he had left his poor love alone at night for dinner for nearly ten of the last fourteen days. He was grateful she had Louis and Eleanor to keep her company on some nights. When he was at home, he hardly slept. Waking much to early but plagued with frustration too great to fall back to sleep.

Overtired, overworked, and missing his love.

It was a recipe for jealous disaster.

*

Niall returned from his weekly meeting with Harry as he had from every meeting over the last month: exhausted and nearly as frustrated, himself. Still, Niall’s frustration presented much differently than Harry’s.

Harry obviously, prone to throwing his furniture and electronics, was a bit angry when upset.

Exhausted. Poor Niall looked and felt exhausted. She frowned as he entered. “No good?”

“I don’t know how you do it, darling,” he sighed flopping onto the couch face first. She frowned and crouched beside him, putting a hand on his back and soothingly rubbing up and down his spine.

“M’sorry,” she frowned. “I thought for sure that one would work,” she had spent almost every spare moment she had also researching every possible solution she could think of to help the situation. The three of them were all so tired.

“If it helps at all, he almost budged.”

She knew Harry didn’t want her help, so she had to be a little sneaky and sift her ideas through Niall. Niall was his favorite business partner. She didn’t blame him in the slightest; she didn’t get very jealous about his relationship with Niall.

“Okay back to the drawing board,” she said.

“Darling, m’exhausted. I’ve hardly had any time to do the stuff I need to do—”

“Like what?”

“—no I don’t want you to do it for me—can we please just do our regular jobs? For an hour?”

She sighed. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

An hour of regular work turned into two hours. It felt well worth it, their minds were finally reprieved of the anxiety they felt searching for a solution to fix Styles Incorporated. They were talking more strategy—now that they were reinvigorated and less grumpy. Niall paced back and forth while she searched at his computer in the main part of the office. Every so often she would throw an M&M in his direction for him to attempt to catch in his mouth. So far of the seven she had thrown, he had caught three, one bounced off his cheek, and only one hit him the eye. They would have to search for the missing one later, when they weren’t so invested in their solution search.

“I think he’s just going to have to fire me,” she sighed.

Niall rolled his eyes as he chewed the green candy while pacing back toward the window. “Yeah right, kitten.”

She shrugged. “M’just saying.”

“We’re going to find a solution. We’ve got to be close.”

“Why are they even leaving? Do we even know?”

Niall stopped pacing and turned to her, there was a sparkle in his eye that she hadn’t seen in ages. But she knew it well. Niall always got it when something good went their way. He had the same glint in his eye when she talked about bankruptcy or the partnership back when she was just a lowly intern. “No... we don’t.”

“Okay, what are you thinking?”

“It’s not the perfect solution. But if they don’t disclose why they’re leaving, it buys us time. They have to buy out their contract,” he said and raced toward the door to head back and tell Harry. It seemed so obvious but with the initial shock and devastation seeming completely forthcoming, it was hard to keep everything together. After thirty seconds Niall returned. “Can you look up their contract and the repercussions of their buyout? We’ll still need a new client, but we may have bought us another fiscal quarter.”

She was already reading his computer diligently, barely acknowledging that he had returned but he knew she had heard.

 Maybe she and Harry would snuggle when they fell asleep tonight.

*

Harry was marginally happier. Marginally. Having a whole new quarter to come up with a solution was exciting in that he wouldn’t have to fire anyone until well after the holidays. It definitely eased some of the tension. But Harry wanted a new client sooner rather than later. In fact, he would like two new clients just so this never happened to him again.

The legality of their client’s untimely departure bought them time to get a better solution.

But that didn’t mean Harry got any more sleep.

Which meant he was still exhausted. Still grumpy.

Still very much missing the sweet girl.

She was so kind to not be bothered by his stress. She didn’t seem to mind them not having extravagant date nights. Harry hadn’t made her breakfast in ages. It hurt him to neglect her, and he missed her. Even though she was right down the hall, even though she came in with tea and coffee every afternoon, even though they slept in the same bed. It was like Harry’s entire brain was consumed with the financial instability of his company.

It was awful.

Which lead to the worst day of their relationship. Worse than when she met Gemma for the first time and worse than when she didn’t speak to him for the days following her job application fiasco. All times, that Harry recognized were caused by him and his jealousy.

So, he really should have known better than to let his fatigued mind play tricks on him.

It was a regularly scheduled meeting, and everyone was well aware there was an issue. Harry was irritable. More so than usual. But they thought the sweet girl was untouchable. It had been that way since the moment she walked on the floor.

Niall all but helped start Styles Incorporated so it was like he was untouchable as well.

Or so they thought.

They were watching a slide presentation. The poor guy was practically shaking worried Harry would eat him alive based on the projections but instead, he couldn’t take his eyes off the sweet girl.

Passing notes to Niall like it was biology class.

Niall smirked winking in her direction. There was a brief moment of clarity in Harry’s head that he was being ridiculous. But he couldn’t help it. He was overtired. It wasn’t an excuse, but it was at least an explanation he had to fend off the idea that maybe his beautiful, sweet girlfriend should have been with someone who was kind and nice like Niall.

When she covered her laugh with a cough at Niall’s responding note, Harry lost his cool. “M’sorry. We’re having a meeting. Are you two quite finished?” He spat.

The color drained from her face, and she looked at her lap like she was in trouble.

Niall rolled his eyes, used to his irritation more than anyone else in the office. Harry narrowed his eyes at Niall briefly, almost ready to make a comment in front of everyone about the eyeroll. But he refrained. He turned back to his presenter. “Continue.”

*

Harry was beyond worked up. It felt like he was further from a solution than he was even with the reprieve of an extra quarter to figure things out. But as he turned down the hall for his office he was instantly infuriated, by the sound of laughter coming from behind Niall’s door.

Why were they laughing? How could they be laughing? Were they aware that Harry was in over his head looking for a solution?

Without knocking, he ripped the door out of the way. He found the pair of them giggling and throwing M&Ms at each other. They stopped once they saw Harry, visibly fuming at their childishness.

Clearing her throat, she hurried to his side. “Hey, baby,” she cooed softly. “Want some M&M’s?” She asked quietly.

How could they be having fun at a time like this? Was this why she wasn’t more upset? Neglecting her didn’t mean anything because she had Niall. She didn’t need Harry. She didn’t need someone that was angry and frustrated all the time. When was the last time they had sex?

What if they just—

Harry had one shred of sanity left in his brain to keep him from following that line of thinking.

“Niall. Office.”

She looked entirely worried at his tone. His demeanor.

Niall gave her a wink as he left and closed the door as they exited. The moment the door clicked she began desperately searching for a new client. Three clients. Something, anything, to help this horrible situation.

She ignored the yelling she could hear through Harry’s closed door down the hall and echoing all the way through hers.

Her heart hammered violently in her chest. But maybe the frantic search was just what she needed. In the fifteen minutes that she heard screaming from down the hall, she finally pieced together what she thought and hoped was going to save Harry and Niall from another sleepless quarter. Maybe she could book a trip for New Year’s to see Harry’s mom for the two of them.

But as her relief began to take form, the door smacked open. Niall reappeared, looking red-cheeked and totally exhausted. However, his eyes seemed to have a bit of a crazy gleam to them.

She stood from the desk and looked at him nervously, her fingers fidgeting with the skirt of her dress. “What happened?”

He laughed without humor. “Your boyfriend is a piece of work,” he shook his head. “He fired me.”

The blood rushed from her head quickly to her feet making her fingers tingle. She felt faint. She hurried closer to Niall’s side as he started throwing things out of his work bag on top of his desk and gathering his personal affects to replace them. “What?!” Her voice hardly carried, shaking as she tried to process what he just said.

“He fired me,” he snorted. “Whatever. He’s a stupid fucking prick,” he snapped.

“Niall!” She was borderline reaching hysterical.

“Don’t even bother, darling. He’s too fucking mad. Too tired to even process what he did. M’not worried about it. He’s an idiot.”

She agreed with him there. He was definitely an idiot. She would have no problem telling him.

In fact.

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Darling, m’saying this as your friend and former boss,” he said with an eye roll. “Don’t go in there.”

“Niall,” she felt like she was on the brink of tears.

“Listen, bought you an extra week to come up with a solution, since he won't have to pay my salary,” he winked grabbing his bag. “Could use a spa day or a rage room.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Don’t stress about it. I’ll just make him pay me more when he grovels to get me back.”

“Niall,” she whimpered. This was ridiculous. The whole thing. She wanted to strangle Harry.

“I know, love. I know,” he sighed and squeezed her arm. “It’s okay,” he promised. “Just don’t go in there.”

She really should have listened to his advice.

*

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” She shouted as she entered the office. She didn’t care who heard.

Harry was pacing back and forth. Another keyboard and mouse set nearly blown apart against Harry’s throwing wall. The computer monitor and a broken vase were thrown in the mix this time as well. “Don’t,” he ground out, hardly looking at her.

“No,” she marched right up to him. She got so close to him that normally if she were that close, he would assume she would be kissing. “You’re acting like an idiot. Why would you fire Niall!?” She stuck a finger in his chest.

“Kitten, you don’t want to do this,” his voice was low and gravelly. He pushed her hand away from him and put it to her side. If she wasn’t so angry and upset herself, she would have thought he was incredibly hot.

“I shouldn’t have to do this! Why would you fire your best friend?”

“Some best friend,” he snarled.

She blinked. “What is the matter with you?! I know you’re stressed but—”

“Do you?” He practically sang it. It was so mocking. It was an awful tone. One she never heard directed at her. One she escaped her entire internship. Her blood felt like sludge trying to get through her veins. Her face warmed at the sound of his voice. Like she truly should have known the reason he was so upset—as if it wasn’t obvious. Like she missed something. Had she missed something? “If y’know m’stressed, why are y’passing notes in meetings? Playing with M&M’s?”

She may have been frustrated by Harry’s tone directed at her, but that didn’t mean she was going to back down. Niall told her he needed to be yelled at more and she might get teary, but she was frustrated too. She missed her boyfriend. She missed his snuggles and his kisses. But the idea that Harry was once more worried about her and Niall...

“You can’t be serious,” she asked in shock. “Are you...jealous?”

He didn’t like the way she said it. He didn’t like hearing it out loud because he knew it was ridiculous. The entire screaming match with Niall, he knew it was ridiculous to say he was going to fire his best friend. His favorite business partner. But he couldn’t help how he felt. The way she and Niall worked so well together. They were always finishing each other’s thoughts and ideas. It was like they shared a brain.

“M’not fucking jealous,” he snapped.

He should have just told the truth. She shook her head rubbing her temples with her fingertips. “I could—”

“You could what, love? What could you do?” He interrupted her again with the mocking tone.

“Harry, you’re being—”

“Just fucking go!”

“I’m not going to go just because—”

“Why don’t y’go make sure Niall is alright. S’obvious that y’care about him more.”

Fortunately for her, she had enough wherewithal to recognize the turning point of her anger. She was going to leave before she said something she regretted. Something Harry was obviously incapable of doing. She straightened her spine. Her shoulders heaving with her frustrated breath. He couldn’t help but notice the tears welling in her eyes. She turned without another word and slammed his office door shut for good measure.

Harry may or may not have punched a hole in the wall above the pile of debris he created.

*

Within fifteen minutes, his phone began ringing incessantly for nearly all of the next hour. But he ignored it—he ignored his office phone, the email pings, and skipped the meeting where he was supposed to be meeting a potential client. He was glad it wasn’t a major client like the one he needed. He wasn’t sure he could fake enthusiasm about his wonderful company at a time like this. He tried and failed to meditate. He just wanted a little bit of give. Just to get some kind of good energy back into his body. All he felt was anger. It was in every inch of his blood making his muscles shake.

He had his head between his knees, hands behind his head like she had Harry do when he told her the bad news.

His peace lasted a mere three seconds.

His door smacked open.

Harry glared up at Niall and his interruption. “What are y’going t’beg—”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” he snapped. “Louis had to call me after you didn’t answer. The girl that you say is the most precious girl you’ve ever been so lucky to have, got in a car accident and you didn’t answer your fucking phone, you prick,” he grabbed Harry’s phone off his desk and threw it at him. Harry’s body processed the words before his mind did. With shaky hands and digesting the words his friend was saying, he read the missed calls from Louis, Eleanor, and even Niall.

Harry felt like Niall smacked him even though he was nowhere near him. His heart skipped a beat. The neurons in his mind began working in overdrive. “What?” He whispered.

“Jesus Christ. I have to take you to the hospital. Let’s fucking go!”

Harry didn’t even grab his work phone. He hadn’t left it in the office once in the eight or so years he owned his company. Instead, he was sprinting to the car. “What do you mean car accident?” He asked slamming the door shut, barely buckling himself in as Niall got behind the wheel sped off into traffic.

He explained the very minimal details that Louis had passed along. They didn’t know what was wrong exactly as no one was able to get to the hospital fast enough before she was sent off. They were running all sorts of tests, and she needed surgery. That was the extent of their current knowledge. But they didn’t know what the surgery was for because no one knew as there to receive the information.

Harry felt worse than ever. Worse than he felt for firing Niall. Which albeit he hadn't really had time to process how bad he felt about that.

“Niall, drive faster.”

“I’m going as fast as I can, the last thing she needs is us in an accident too,” he growled.

“Faster,” he snapped.

“Quit being a dick! What are you going to do fire me from being your friend?”

“Niall!” He was so fidgety in Niall’s front seat. If they hit one more red light, he was going to jump out and run to the hospital. It was clear he was losing his mind. If he wasn’t careful, he would be admitted under a psychiatric hold the moment they entered the ER.

As worried as he had been about his company, he was anxious about the girl threefold. He was so scared to see her. Worried about how broken she might be. If she was in surgery, he would die—he was certain. How could he not be her emergency contact?

Louis was going to kill him.

It was too much. Too much, all at once.

“Pull over!”

“Pull over?! What’s the matter—”

“Niall pull the fuck over!”

He practically spun out coming to the shoulder of the road. The car was barely parked when Harry threw the door open, and his stomach released the frustration of the last month and a half with the contents of his lunch. Niall rolled his eyes tapping on the steering wheel while he waited for Harry to right himself. The moment the door shut, Niall was back on the road. They were silent as they sped the remainder of the drive to the hospital.

Niall was the only one with enough brain cells to have asked Louis for all the directions to the correct waiting room. So, it was Niall that practically shouted them out as Harry ran ahead to find the sweet girl.

*

Eleanor was handing Louis a cup of tea as he bounced his knee impatiently. “Louis,” Harry said quickly.

Louis didn’t even look at him. “You’ve got some fucking nerve,” he shook his head. Harry could feel the distaste leaving his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked. He felt utterly guilty. Completely useless.

“Yeah, I bet,” he grumbled.

“Louis,” Eleanor rolled her eyes. She turned to Harry. “Hi Harry, hi Niall,” she smiled sweetly as Niall filed in beside Harry. “She’s okay,” she promised. The relief he felt was immeasurable. He was lucky there was an open chair for him to fall into with the weight disappearing too quickly from his shoulders.

“She’s not okay,” Louis snapped. “Why was she leaving in the middle of the work day—”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake Louis, it’s not that deep. Accidents happen.” But Harry knew as well as Eleanor why Louis was so nervous about her being in a car accident. “She’s got a guardian angel looking out for her and she drives one of the safest cars on the road thanks to Harry. You all need to take a Xanax.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Niall asked. Between Louis and Harry, neither seemed well enough to have any sort of grasp on the situation. Harry nearly forgot he was supposed to be the one asking. Louis glared at him. Like he knew there was more to the story. Maybe he wasn’t wrong.

“She was pretty shaken up, I guess. Lost her phone. Hit her head. She’s getting surgery on her left arm, a pretty significant break. Low grade concussion and a cast. I think she got off easy,” Eleanor shrugged. “They’ll let us see her once she’s in recovery.”

Harry rubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Good,” he sighed.

Louis snorted.

“Louis. Accident.” Eleanor repeated. “Zip it.”

The four of them sat in silence.

*

Due to the nature of the room, only one person was allowed in recovery at a time until a bigger room opened up.

Louis rolled his eyes at the news and turned to look at Harry. “You first.” Harry blanched immediately. Niall bounced his knee sitting beside Harry. He was silent the entire time. Harry didn’t think she’d want to see him after the horrific display of the person he was today. “M’not saying it again. You go first, or I’m never coming out of there if I go first,” Louis promised staring off into the distance. Harry knew he wanted to see the sweet girl as much as he did. It was kind of him to offer Harry first look even though he was mad.

Eleanor rolled her eyes and squeezed Louis’ hand. “Go ahead, Harry. She’ll want to see you,” she smiled encouragingly. Harry didn’t know if that was true.

His nerves were tightly wound as he entered the room to find her sleepy form curled on the bed. She was half on her side, her arm in a white cast beside her face and pretty lashes fluttering as she woke from the anesthesia. She did look okay. Other than the broken arm.

“Hey beautiful,” Harry whispered gently.

She glanced toward his voice and immediately burst into tears. “Harry,” she whimpered.

“Oh, kitten,” he cooed coming to crouch beside her bed and he pressed a hand to the side of her face and brushed the tears away with his thumb. “Are you in pain, m’love?” He asked, feeling so horrible he wanted to trade places. He wanted her out of the hospital bed. Out of the cast. “I’ll call for—”

“No,” she croaked. She swallowed and sniffled miserably. Her sweet face crumpling with anxiety and sadness. Her eyes were so glassy, and he knew she was still swimming with anesthesia in her veins. “I wrecked your car,” she whimpered. “I’m so sorry.”

Harry thought he might die. He hoped to God, that was the anesthesia talking. If she thought he would care more about a car...he couldn’t even think of the rest of the sentence.

He shook his head. He felt tears prick the back of his eyes as he looked her over. The sweetest, best thing that had ever happened to him. “Baby, absolutely not what m’worried ‘bout,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead, hoping to ease her weary mind. “I’ll get you a million cars. I don’t care. S’only you. You are what matters right now,” he promised.

Her mind was a little loopy and airy, but it looked like Harry was staring at her as if she was the one that made the sun rise every morning. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again. “I know Niall and I—”

Harry felt the need to throw up again. He shook his head, aching for her to stop. “Not now, beautiful,” he ran his thumb along her lip to silence her. “Jus’ want t’focus on you. Y’don’t need t’apologize at all.”

She nodded, still glassy and wide-eyed. “Do you hate me?” She asked.

The poor thing was breaking his heart with every sentence. “No, angel, of course not,” he smiled at her sadly. “I love you, so much.”

She sighed with relief. “I love you too,” she murmured.

“We’re waiting on a bigger room, but Louis wants t’see y’next. I’ll be right back, yeah?”

She nodded, starting to return to herself. “Okay,” her loopy mind answered. “I have a cast.”

“I know, kitten.”

“Will you sign it?” She asked so sweetly. It was adorable. Harry felt at ease for the first time in ages even though he was distraught with worry.

He smiled from the doorway. “Of course, love.”

*

“Louis, I have to go to work in this. Don’t you dare draw a penis,” she warned, the marker in Louis’ hand poised over the plaster.

He rolled his eyes. “Ruin all the fun.”

“Did you bring your laptop?” She asked Harry, while Louis drew on her arm.

“No laptops for at least a week, babe,” Eleanor smiled sweetly. “Concussion, remember?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t do that!” They all scolded at once.

She sighed, closing her eyes to refrain from rolling them again and potentially inciting a headache. Niall was on the phone with the insurance company pretending to be Harry. They found out that she was hit in the middle of the intersection—someone running a red light. It was pretty open and shut. But not something anyone wanted her to worry about and fortunately, Niall knew almost all of Harry’s needed information.

“Well, can you please use it and look at what I found?” She asked Harry by her other arm.

“Didn’t bring anything, kitten. M’sorry. Was worried ‘bout you.”

She blew and exasperated breath between her lips. Louis smirked. “Are we sure she has a concussion?”

Niall was looking at her curiously as he was on hold. “What did y’find, darling?”

“A client.”

Harry ignored her and glanced at Niall. She wasn’t supposed to be involved with the search—he didn’t want her worrying. It wasn’t her responsibility. “Well...we can discuss it next week, love.”

“No,” she said firmly. “Harry, I’ve been giving Niall all my ideas to pass off to you because I know you don’t want me worrying but we haven’t had dinner together in nearly two weeks and I can’t remember the last time we watched a movie. I found a solution and it’s on my computer and I need you to look at it, hire Niall back, so you can stay home for the week and wait on me while I get over the concussion,” she ordered. No one spoke while they let her directions settle over them.

Louis capped his marker, admiring his handy work: his block letters taking up almost the entirety of her arm. “Definitely faking,” he smiled.

*

Without the IV drip, the pain in her arm came back significantly. She felt tired; physically and emotionally. She couldn’t imagine how Harry felt, yet he was carrying her into their house. “Will you sit with me?” She asked quietly.

God, Harry would break his own arm just to match her if she wanted. “Yes, love,” he murmured. “Do y’want some medicine, water?”

She shook her head. She probably did need more medicine, but she just wanted Harry. “Just you.”

Harry would kill for her.

He sat on the sofa, her frame curled in his lap. With her head on his shoulder, her cast weighing heavily in her own lap, she sighed contentedly. “M’sorry about today.”

“Please don’t apologize, kitten. S’all my fault.”

“I know how stressed you’ve been—”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“But you have to know that Niall—”

“Kitten, don’t you...want someone like Niall?”

She shook her head rapidly. Trying to understand the words that he just spoke. “I’m sorry, I think my concussion gave me a stroke. What did you just ask me?”

He sighed, closing his eyes, and rested his forehead against the side of her head. He was so glad she was okay. He can’t imagine what he would have done if the last thing he said to her was something about how she didn’t care about him. “Niall doesn’t yell at you. Or neglect y’when he’s stressed. He can catch M&Ms in his mouth.”

She laughed quietly. “You’re an idiot.”

“Do you remember coming out of anesthesia?”

“I remember asking why they sent Louis in before you.”

He smirked. “He must have been pissed.”

She smiled. “It was amazing.”

“I went in first. Y’were probably too loopy t’remember... y’apologized for wrecking the car.”

“That does sound like me,” she nodded in agreement.

“Kitten,” he sighed. “There’s one and only one of you, m’love. I would lose m’mind if something happened t’you. A car means nothing t’me.”

She kissed his cheek. “I love you,” it sounded like a vow.

“Say it again,” he answered nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck before pulling away and looking at how pretty and whole she was.

Giggling, she bumped her nose against his. “I love you,” she repeated.

“Even though m’jealous of m’best friend?”

“Yes, you silly, crazy baby; did you rehire him?”

“M’giving him a spa day tomorrow. Then he’ll be back.”

 “You’re an idiot,” she giggled.

“So, I’ve been told.”

“But you’re all mine,” she sighed dreamily, leaning in for a kiss. "Wouldn't have you any other way."

--

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If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

[sunflouwerhabit]

in absolute loving memory

this past summer, i went on a road trip with someone i had never met. liz drove to my house & she met my family & my bunnies & ME. then she gave me the keys to her car & we drove 345 miles together to chicago. four days later, we got matching tattoos.

it sounds insane. it IS insane. but, as i lay on my couch and let the weight of the past few days crush every nerve in my body, it also feels like pure magic.

meeting liz and erika in chicago, pasc in pittsburgh and then in boston and countless others at different shows and in different cities, has only ever been magic. the people i love came into my life because at twelve years old i discovered a boy band called one direction and, all at once, their narrations would forever fuel my story’s greatest hits.

i am who i am today because of one direction. i KNOW who i am because of one direction. i love live music because they were my first concert.

i wear my heart on my sleeve because louis taught me that’s only ever a display of bravery. i will never shy away from a sequin because harry taught me that bold is beautiful. niall’s laugh brightens my soul. “if it feels like love, then it must be love,” will forever be my mantra. because of zayn, i know that choosing yourself is the strongest thing you can do.

and liam.

liam.

there will never be words. i just love you. i love you so much. i loved you when i was 12 & when i was 15 & when i was 18 & 20 & 24 & now i’m 25. my chest is empty. i don’t know how to move forward. i don’t know what to do. it doesn’t feel real that someone who means so much to me is just … gone. i keep expecting to wake up from this. i keep expecting you to still be here. i’m so mad that you’re not here. i’m so fucking angry & devastated & i don’t know what to do.

thank you for writing so many of my favorite songs. thank you for that time you did your whole #BEAFANDAY bit and made me laugh so hard i cried. thank you for being the foundation of my favorite band. thank you for being an ebullient force and for teaching me compassion, love, bravery, and patience. thank you. i wish i had 6 more decades to tell you how much i love you. i wish i had told you more. i hope that, wherever you are, you can hear me and that you know. god, i just hope you know. i will spend the rest of my life missing you.

i’m so, so sorry i couldn’t protect you in the same way you protected me during my teenage years and beyond- giving me a shelter to be ME in all my anxious, awkward, adolescent glory. you have always been my safe place. i needed you when i was 12 and when i was 15 and when i was writing essays for advanced writing classes about how much i loved you. i still need you now.

thank you, for everything. i hope you are at peace. i hope you are somewhere where you feel safe, happy, free. everything you deserved to feel when you were here. i promise when i talk about you, i will make sure everyone i love knows that were a force in a studio and that you were funny and brave and sincere and kind. there isn’t a me without you. the world will know that.

one direction always meant light and joy and safety to me. now it also means grief and loss and regret. but that means that in the midst of this heartbreak, i got to love and find a light as bright as you in this life.

until we meet again, my baby. always and forever. in every adventure i go on in the future- whether boston or chicago or wherever else life takes me, with this family we found together- i will think of you and i will never be anything but grateful. i love you more than you will ever know. thank you for the magic you brought into my life.

-lexie x

[letstalkaboutit100]

Ideas pt 4 blue = concpet. pink= ep idea

EVEN MORE ideas if EAH got a reboot:

Ok, WHAT IS UP WITH TIANA AND NAVEEN'S SON?! THAT'S NOT THEIR KID! While the turning into a frog is cool, the poetry thing has got to go. Now while it is strange that NAVEEN's kid is all shy and stuff, to me honestly kind of makes sense. I mean, come on? If Tiana and Naveen were to ever have a kid, they would totally be a MAMA's BOY! But they would have MUCH better hair. But let's change his name to either Louis or Raymond. He also has a crush on charlotte's daughter! I think I'll name her Lenny. I also think he would have a wild crazy little sister. She's 7 and her name is Tina! She rides crocodies EVERYWHERE and wears big necklaces , hoop earings and bracelets with long curly pigtails! She and charlotte's daughter are best friends. And she's a daddy's girl! Their both wild and like adventures, and got his personality and winning smile! She's the next mama oldie! (Brair would love her lol) She doesn't like Apple though lol. She's very hyper and shakes people's hands hard like a cartoon XD.

Briar isn't as close to her parents as everyone thinks. She and Aurora fight a lot. She was a wild child. The West Wing wild child is what they called her when she was little. She always hated sleeping. Constantly saying "Well if I'm asleep, I'll miss everything! I won't know what's going on!". I think she would know how to shoot a bow and arrow.

Since Brair parties a lot, I like to think she causes a bit of mischief too. She pulls pranks around the school (mostly on the headmaster) and I can tell you she's been caught a few times.

For season 4:

Espsiode idea (4 parter): Brair gets caught pranking the headmaster (faybelle told on her) and she suspended. no parties, dentation for 2 weeks and on jantior duty. But instead of taking the punshiment, she pranks him again! And she's send home!

Pt2: Brair is sent home and everyone is upset that she was send away! Expelled! So everyone, Apple, Raven, Ella, maddie (and later faybelle) sneak out of school to go to brair's kingdom and convice her parents to let her come back! (Everyone else covers for them, with the help of baba yaga!) But when they get there her parents say no! But they do let them talk to her. Then brair tells them that she heard her parnets are going to punish her by making her follow her destiny early! PUT HER UNDER! AND SLEEP FOR A CENTURY! AND SHE'S ALREADY FALLING IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS! With out knowing what to do, the girls go back to school empty handed.

Pt3: The girls snuck back to school later that night only to show up with no Briar. Everyone is wondering what happened and where is she. They didn't cover them for 2 DAYS FOR NOTHING! After they told everyone what happened their all silent. Everyone is at a loss for words. Brair is gone. They'll never see her again. Even Faybelle feels bad. She was just being a tattle-tail. She didn't mean to "kill" her! "You! This is all your fault!" Apple screams and points at Faybelle. "My best friend is going to be asleep for 100 years and it's all your fault!" Apple runs away crying followed by everyone else. Ella, Maddie, and Raven go up to Faybelle and ask her why she did it. "It was just a silly prank! She does them all the time! I'm just being the villain that I am! But I never wanted to actually put her to sleep!"

[whyislenaluthorsohot]

Ok, so hard of hearing Ava bc I have thoughts.

Hard of hearing Ava that lost most of her hearing in the same accident that took away her ability to move. Ava, who can barely remember the first 7 years of her life because the accident was so bad it's a miracle she even survived and woke up and memory loss was a possibility.

Hard of hearing Ava as a child who called out when she finally woke and realized that she could barely hear anything as she watched the mouth of the nun move and faint sounds reach her ears. She tells them that she can't understand what they're saying and the other nuns look at her with pity while Sister Francis doesn't explain anything and treats her so cruelly so little Ava simply assumes that barely being able to hear sound is normal because she can't remember anything other than the silence filled with whispers she can't understand and no one is correcting her.

Hoh Ava that stumbles through life at the orphanage and learns lip reading to understand others as best she can and becomes pretty damn good at it if she does say so herself. Ava who gets so frustrated that she can't function on the same level as others and thinks that everyone else just has a different communication system that she's being left out of since she can't move because she believes that everyone has a hard time hearing and that they just figure out the system to communicate as they grow. Hard of hearing Ava who grows up thinking that there's something wrong with her because why can't she keep up with everyone else if everyone is the same as her?

When she meets Diego, he starts helping her out too. He's only a child and he doesn't understand why she can't fully hear but he's willing to help in any way he can. He helps Ava start figuring how to regulate her voice, how loud or quiet she is and what her tone sounds like and how mouths move around certain words. She learns how different words are said by feeling the vibrations Diego makes and mimics them until she gets them right. Diego starts finding books on sign language and both him and Ava start learning together. Diego sits by her bedside showing her the books and then making the corresponding signs and they both learn another language albeit silent.

Ava picks up on the signs and their meanings fast and has Diego go through them so she can practice. They don't know a lot of sign but they learn enough so that they can stumble through a conversation. When Ava starts getting slight movement in her hands, Diego moves her hands in the shapes of different signs, first the alphabet and then words, to get her used to it. Ava starts being able to do small signs that don't require much movement but she has enough movement that she and Diego can hold small conversations and she gets a bit better at keeping up with it.

Hard of hearing Ava who died at the hands of Sister Francis and was never told being hard of hearing was not normal. Ava who gets resurrected because of the Halo and isn't paralyzed anymore but she still can't hear properly because the damage was too bad even for the Halo to heal.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@solarsleepless Here's your food. Sent this to loui, but whichever one of you finds it first.

Part 1 of my Hard of Hearing Ava thoughts

[londonfoginacup]

Going off Harry and Louis' music it sounds like Louis is the one who likes his space. Isn't that what Satellite is about? Maybe they both like their space which is why they don't spend much time together and they have communication issues.

Hello friend or friends, I think that we are talking about two different things.

I, personally, am an extremely needy introvert. Introversion and extroversion are not describing whether we’re people-persons or not, they are instead about how we recharge our energy. Introverts run their social battery down by being with other people, whereas extroverts charge their social battery by being with other people.

I am an introvert who likes to spend a lot of time alone with my cats or doing silent parallel play with my besties, but I am also extremely needy and touchy-feely. @lululawrence can attest to this I am terribly in her personal space when we are together, even though we spend the majority of the time not touching. I am being demanding of her by playing with her hand or arm or hair while she’s trying to do important things like writing her big bang.

I don’t know if you’ve had the pleasure of seeing AOTV yet, but Louis is the one who chose to have a bunk along with the rest of his band, rather than creating a separate space for himself at the back of the bus. He’s the one who told his band members they’re always welcome in his dressing room, and the one constantly including them in every step of his process and day. He loves being around people and he loves being able to serve them and see them happy from it. Yeah, I’m sure he needs a bit of alone recharge time too, because he’s human, but I’m seeing a consistent desire to be with others.

That being said, what they talk about in their music I think is based around a lot of grief. Both of them have suffered the loss of many people in their lives in the time since they started writing solo music, and I’m sure that’s presented a lot of different situations. Because how we grieve is entirely different and unique and unrelated to intro/extroversion and how we are in our day-to-day otherwise. I do think there are a lot of signs that when Louis’ lost in his grief he runs away, physically and mentally. Changes his number to get away from people, even, as James said. I’m not as sure about Harry’s response to grief, my best guess is that he gets very lost in his head but he does seek out those close to him to be with/talk to about it (that could be the therapy).

So like, yes. I think you’re right and I think I’m right. I just think we’re talking about two different things.

[blueiight]

i was reading the translation of lestat screaming after losing at chess to claudia and it surprised me how a significant number of interpretations were louis is a bad parent for coddling claudia. should've let lestat beat her. those were not the exact words but the implication.

like what. and i thought back to your posts about claudia not being seen as a child by a section of the audience.

also this outburst is triggered by losing at chess and claudia being defiant about not finishing the game. it's not like she killed people and left them at the door.

obv in that scene she's in her 30s but lestat is screaming about when she was younger.

i'm sorry but I'm forever shocked at how some audience immediately takes lestat's side even when it's like ????

i think ppl dont get how louis was a bad parent to claudia in the first place. its not 'coddling' [LOL] so much as it is the disproportionate level of emotional dependence louis has on claudia after a certain point but to an extent even in the nature of her creation.. claudia was created to assuage the losses of multiple aspects of louis's 'humanity'. the loss of his wealth, the loss of his sister, the loss of his ability to have children [which he would never be able to have as a gay black male anyways b4 the vamp shit]. shes created as a means for lestat also, to draw louis back into his life, bc remember, right before louis found claudia, lestat was like lets make this race riot our anniversary n louis told lestat the same thing nick&armand told les in tvl i think? - we wont work, u gone forever be alone. - n ran out. to be a 'bring back our love' child + also someone else's tether to the abstract meaning of 'humanity' is a pretty heavy bit of expectations to put on the shoulders of a young black girl who lost her mom at birth n spent her childhood and adolescence being abandoned by her dad & being abused by her aunt. it follows a pretty troubling pattern louis has with poor black women in his life [miss lily being louis's confidante but having no choice to refuse louis, her trick]. but fans of no color & their allies in thinking dont even see that pattern in the first place cuz they care more about exploring annie r u ok n npc honkey #45 characters than exploring the arcs of fictional bw.

lestat losing the game of chess is symbolic of his loss of influence over claudia [which is ironic cuz show wise he never wanted claudia at first lol] & the implications claudia's independence has for his relationship with louis. claudia herself no longer wants to be a child, someone else's daughter, and wants to equalize the relationship by making them all siblings, but neither lestat or louis want to be brothers to eachother [aint no fun when the rabbit got the gun lol].

lestat himself has an exceptionally brutal reference for parenting. im sure louis himself was raised off corporeal punishment too, hell i was raised off that as well, but short of his psychotic chokedown of clauds in ep7, i cant think of a time where louis actively thought or said he wanted to put hands on claudia to 'set her straight' the same way lestat was. we know in our real lives corporal punishment is a tactic of control + abuse, and this becomes even more prominent if its a white man beating his adult black child [bc claudia is in her 30s here, shes not a child anymore & doesnt want to be]. rl fans taking lestat's bitching bout louis spoiling claudia as facts & not les being pissy that his 30 year old child beat him at a chess match is funny as fuck tho no lie

[hauntedwoman]

titanic watch notes (4/14/23)

when jack saves rose from the back of the ship and the colonel asks cal to give a reward to jack and he offers money rose asks him "is that the going rate for saving the woman you love?" that means she knows that he loves her yet she still shoves him or any pathway to effective communication aside. this also insinuates that their relationship probably used to be better than what we see in the movie

it's said that nathan (cal's father) was the claimant for the insurance claim that was placed on the necklace after the ship went down but it was filed under terms of "absolute secrecy" So that could mean a few things 1) simple damage control 2) he sees cal as incompetent and he feels the need to cover up such a huge financial loss at the hands of cal's impulsivity (this could hint at their relationship being strained)

why doesnt cal end up keeping the drawing ????? considering how badly he wants to possess rose why wouldn't he have held onto a drawing of her naked body ?? maybe he didnt because of the intent behind the drawing and it wouldve been too painful to look at but it is still very much A Question

and on that note why does cal tell rose that he framed jack???? if he wanted her to get onto a lifeboat and go back to her life in first class and still marry him and everything why would he jeopardize all of that for a snarky one-liner ???? ("you know it's a pity i didn't keep that drawing it'll be worth a lot more by morning") im just gonna chalk it up to james cameron being bad at making characters with actual dimension

continuing on that: there are so many stupid cartoonish one-liners that cal has throughout the film just to very much communicate to the audience that he is The Bad Guy. one example of this that annoys me is the whole "something picasso" bit like oh god forbid someone who's morally ambiguous have any appreciation for art or culture (rose being into these things somehow makes her morally superior ???) another one i really hate is the whole "i suppose i might start minding what she reads from now on" at the lunch scene when rose makes that dick joke abt freud

also lol when she makes that joke that insinuates she knows what d*ck is (subtext into cal and rose's relationship ???)

when brock is talking to old rose about to hoto he regurgitates the same thing that cal told her he gave her the diamond (worn by louis the sixteenth, very rare, etc, etc.)

when jack saves rose from jumping she grabs his hand that doesnt have her engagement ring on it

cal gives rose the diamond the same night she tries to kill herself. he knows what she was really doing at the back of the ship, or at least some semblance of it

THAT SAID:

still totally hung up on the whole "john calvert is actually cal" theory lol of all of the names that james cameron could have chosen for her new surname it Had to be That ???

cal and rose both act the same way under any sort of scrutiny (defensive and they automatically move to insulting the other person)

why is it scandalous that madeline astor (who is rose's age) is pregnant but not scandalous that another man is clearly traveling with his mistress (spoiler alert: it's misogyny)

the presence of god and christianity throughout the film ("god himself could not sink this ship", the church service on the morning of the day the titanic hits the iceberg - which is only available to upper class passengers ??? - the priest praying and speaking psalms as the ship is sinking) i think that the larger cultural commentary here is that during this age (early 1900s to 1910s) there is so much innovation and invention happening that humanity begins to feel that they are on par with god (esp the wealthy)

jack and rose have s*x right before the ship hits the iceberg, big juxtaposition between life and death there

still cant get over how rose put her name on the survivors list as rose DAWSON…. theres no way cal didnt know she was alive they saw eachother again after the sinking even if it was him seeing her on a poster for a movie/play or her reading headlines about him or maybe one day they seek each other out but regardless yea theres no way they didnt have contact again

also on that note old rose is an extremely unreliable narrator bc when she talks about cal killing himself she says at the end "or so i read" so there's a level of ambiguity there, there's also some hesitation of her to admit that she kept up with him all of those years bc then it would have completely discredited everything she had said about jack being her one real love etc etc

[phantom-ellie]

The Art of (Smashing) Crockery Chapter 22: Blackbird

Summary: Not all gay awakenings are positive, and not all reactions to rejection are healthy.

Click here for CWs/Full Chapter List

---

I opened the door. I followed the lead. They said you just have to move towards the light. Say, ‘Hello. I am a gay man. My name is Stede.’

My mind wrote a letter my heart couldn’t read. A heart confused, misused, shamed, and contrite. So I opened the door. I followed the lead.

Is this how it feels to be freed? To accept who I am, what my forebears would indict? Saying, ‘Hello. I am a gay man. My name is Stede.’

Waking up gay, a gay awakening, is this what I need? Then why does my heart hurt, my chest still feel tight Since I opened the door and followed the lead?

A mirror, I practice, repeating my screed. But my expression remains the same, try as I might. ‘Hello. I am a gay man. My name is Stede.’

‘It’s too late,’ it threatens, it chokes like a weed. Self-acceptance is a resignation, a reaction born from spite. But I opened the door. I followed the lead. Hello. I am a gay man. My name is Stede.

---

Stede doesn’t respond to Ed’s text. Not through the night or the next day. The blog post is angry, sad. Ed assumes that something happened with Stede’s father, but Stede isn’t asking Ed for comfort. He doesn’t want Ed’s love, or his friendship.

Ed was an idiot. Again.

And being an idiot, he does what he’s always done and calls Izzy. His voice is already breaking as Izzy answers the phone.

“What is it, Edward?”

“I’m so stupid, Izzy. I did it.”

“Did what?”

“I kissed him.”

“Fucking hell, Ed! I told you. Why would you do that?”

“I… I love him.”

“For fuck’s sake, this happens every time. And he rejected you, didn’t he?”

Ed feels so small. He can barely get it out. “Mmhmm.”

“And I’m supposed to drop everything and comfort you ,again, is that it?”

“Come on Izzy, you’re my friend. That’s what friends are for.”

“You have no fuckin’ clue about friendship, Ed. You drop me as soon as someone shiny and new comes along, and then I have to fix it when they leave. Every time! Do you know how draining it is?”

“I… I can guess.”

“You can guess, but you don’t know. I’ve been divorced twice, Ed. What were you doing both times?”

Ed sighs. “I don’t know, what do you want me to say, Iz?”

“You were too busy doing drugs with Jack to be there for me, weren’t you?”

Ed is silent for a few seconds. “Yeah.”

“Go to a gay bar, find someone who actually likes you back, get a therapist, I don’t care what you do. But it’s time to grow up. It’s time to figure it out for yourself. I have shit going on.” Izzy hangs up.

Tough love. Ed’s mind immediately thinks of Stede’s father. Then Stede. Then hurt.

Logically he knows not to blame Izzy. Ed has always taken from Izzy. He’s never given back, not where it counts. Anonymous donations to Los Robles didn’t count for much if they were anonymous.

It’s at this moment that Ed realizes that despite all the encouragement he gave to Stede, Ed doesn’t really know what a friend does, either.

---

Mary: Did you meet with the estate lawyer?

Stede: Yes.

Mary: And?

Stede: It should be airtight. Preparing for lawsuit anyway.

Mary: You know I’m not going to ask for any of it in the divorce, Stede. The timing is just bad.

Stede: You are entitled to it and you will have it.

Stede: You deserve it. For everything.

Mary: See you tomorrow @ 11?

Stede: yeah

---

Thanksgiving. So much to be thankful for. Right?

Maybe.

He manages to make it through the dinner all right. He’s quiet, but that’s okay. It gives him a chance to listen to Alma and Louis bicker a little bit, to see the drawings they’ve done and tell him about school. He can hear about Mary’s art show, which of course was a success, and he can feel a tiny bit of gratitude as she takes care to talk around any mentions of Doug.

At one point Alma pointedly asks Stede what he’s been up to, and he’s a bit at a loss to answer her.

“Well… I’ve been thinking a lot, I suppose.”

“That sounds boring.”

Stede huffs. “I haven’t had a lot of time to think recently, Alma. Sometimes it’s nice to take a break.”

“You could take a break here with us.” Alma looks down at her food, pushing her green beans around with her fork.

Stede puts his hand on hers. “I’ll keep that in mind, sweetheart. I just need a little time to myself.”

“I thought that’s what you had work for.”

Stede shakes his head. “No, not even a little bit.”

When they finish, Stede isn’t too far in his own head yet, so he manages to clean up, do the dishes, to look around at the kitchen that he no longer considers to be his. He never considered any of this to be his, really. It’s as if he’s just been borrowing it.

He finishes up and slides on his coat, prepared to sneak out of one life that isn’t his into another life he hasn’t made yet. But Mary spots him.

“Stede… you don’t have to run away, you know? You can stay here. You can live here with us for now. Let me help you.”

Stede stops to think about this, if just for a moment. He imagines living as a ghost in his own home, too afraid to face his wife, his children. He imagines sitting on his bed, confessing everything to Mary, everything he feels. And in this imagination, they have a wonderful talk, one that solves and clarifies everything. Like it’s so easy. And Stede leaves the house, in his imagination, with new-found purpose as he reaches Ed’s apartment, knocks on the door, says those three words, and they embrace and live happily ever after.

In his imagination.

But Stede is a useless, pathetic coward. And his dreams will never come true.

So he gives a wan smile instead, tells Mary, “Okay, I’ll think about it,” and gets in his car.

Stede has always felt safest personifying inanimate objects. His hotel room has a minibar. He tells himself that’s the only friend he needs.

---

Ed: hey

Jack: hey you unblocked me

Jack: ya getting lonely big guy

Ed: what if i am

Jack: door’s always open

Ed: you really gotta lock that shit

Ed: on my way

---

Post from the blog Hear Something Weird:

Now you remind me of something I’ll never have So, blackbird don’t sing

Comments: MauritianSupremacy: Hey, we’re planning to take you out for drinks, you left the group chat. Check your texts PracticallyGayJesus: lucy told me to tell you we miss you LucyFlawless: That was not the way to deliver that message, babe

Chapter 23

[idkman-fish]

Reviewing(?) Interview with The Vampire

cuz i just finished watching it... like a few minutes ago.

WARNING THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE.

now first off imma say MAN LESTAT AND LOUIS LOOKED YUMMYYY- however there are things about the movie that I can't look past for example Louis owned a plantation-

and in once scene it looked like there was something disgusting going to happen, but was stopped by a cut towards vampires bursting in which I am very glad.. cuz... what the fuck man.

But regardless of those elements I do say its a very good movie, and MAN THEY HAD A LOT OF TENSION BETWEEN THE MEN. LIKE LMAO??? also my mom told me she had the book and due to me searching about it I asked her if it was gay and she said it was atleast bi- which fair because like lets acknowledge theres also NOTHING STRAIGHT ABOUT VAMPIRES AND THEIR AESTHETICS.

I love this movie so fucking much although there are parts I didn't like because they were unneeded, but historically Louis owning a yknow... makes sense, but still... very uncomfortable with that. So, I'm on Lestat train tbh like sexy vampire French man is better than Louis with his... questionable start in the story. At least he didn't remain one for long, but with his arc of valuing lives also makes no sense as well with how it started. And I can get him also valuing lives due to experiencing loss, but still to me doesn't make sense considering what he was- yknow in the beginning.

But overall with that it's a pretty good movie, and if there's one thing I love it is the aesthetics and set design along with the costumes, the ruffles, the colours they used and all were lovely- and some nice eye candy (I love old clothes and stuff from different eras, ITS AMAZING) although probably not historically accurate to certain things(I like history, but i'm not exactly a knowledgable of what'd be accurate for certain eras at times, but if anyone wants to know the story begins in 1791 and the movie I specifically watched in the 1994 Interview with the vampire, so have fun with that)

Story wise I do appreciate how they establish things and how Louis and Lestat are both pretty much clueless, Lestat despite making Louis a vampire had no idea how to answer his questions because he never got the answers either and I honestly like that alot. After a bit of the movie and Louis not wanting to kill or feed on humans they end up adopting a child called Claudia, Lestat who definitely did to a degree cared for her treated her like a pupil and essentially spoiled her and trained her to be a killer whereas Louis acted like a father to her. They both individually cared for her although Lestat despite him definitely caring for her, purely turned her as a way of giving Louis company and also to keep Louis at his side. Louis after Claudia "killed" Lestat ended up caring for her on his own and they search for answers on what they are together, but didn't find an answer. And then Armand and the theater vampires come into the story which I do find their parts of theatrical stuff very fun and I do think it makes sense that they pretend to be humans pretending to be vampires as no one would believe that they are truly vampires, they were smart.

In this part of the story this is where the questionable scene is for a second when Claudia wants Louis to turn a woman named Madeline in order to have a companion as well as a caretaker essentially, but then the theater vampires in order to punish them for "killing" Lestat come in, Louis gets trapped and Claudia is trapped with Madeline and burned in sunlight genuinely I have no works for this scene, but I do like the acting in it- After this Louis angered by the fact they killed his daughter kills all the Theater vampires in a fire and decapitates some as well, afterwards Armand comes and saves Louis from the sunlight, but Louis clearly has a distate for him after this as well since he didn't stop them from killing his daughter.

I do like how Louis essentially throughout the story felt like his lost a sense of purpose, all he can cling onto is the guilt for killing and the guilt for being a monster. That's essentially all he has left to live for. And then meeting Lestat again, they reminisce a bit (also its in the place Lestat used to own(i think? that or its just in another burnt house) which uh again, still dont like that but eh) and then Louis leaves Lestat, and thats where it ends.

I also like how in the end of it Louis rejects turning the interviewer, but then Lestat comes in while the interviewer is driving and is very annoyed at the tape- and he also is giving the interviewer a choice much like how he did Louis years ago in the story and thats how it ends.

It's a pretty good story, although I wish I could read the book.

overall not as gory as I was warned it would be by my mom and man its not as terrifying as another movie I've watched where its i think called Carnage Park? it takes place in maybe texas and the protagonist is a woman who uh... my god she suffers and although its a good movie its one I wouldnt suggest watching until you are much older than me because ITS FUCKED UP.

but aside from that(and the elements that i REALLY didnt like) it was a pretty good movie.

[wolveythecat]

Edward Holland

Edward H sits at his office desk, his fingers pressing down against the keys of the typewriter, soft clicking noises fill the somewhat quiet and dimly lit room. He’s typing out the profit margins of his latest plays.

He mutters to himself, “Only 2.3 percent increase. I hope this venture in St. Louis is actually worth it…”

A voice speaks out from in front of his desk, the Irishman is too busy thinking to notice her entering the room, Edward jumps a little bit in his seat, causing it to fall over with him in it. The voice states, “Speaking of St. Lou- Are you ok sir?”

Edward pulls up his chair and nods slowly at Elise, “I’m- fine Elise, heh. I’m just a bit jumpy I suppose”

Elise pulls out a clipboard with some notes, “I’m afraid I must inform you of some bad news, one of the speakeasies we’ve been supplying got raided-”

Edward sighs, “As to be expected. I told them they were being too reckless.”

Elise nods, “And the owner was killed during the raid.”

Edward types slowly on the typewriter, “Losses are epidemic to the business, you know that.” He stares into her eyes for a second and his facial expression becomes u unreadable, “Now. Tell me, is there any good news?”

Elise gulps, “W-well the theater in St. Louis is finished, and ready.”

Edward’s face goes back to cheerful as he replies, “Nice!”

Elise nods, “D-do you want me to go fetch your driver.”

Edward quickly nods, “Aye, of course. That would be nice of you”

She quickly walked away from his desk, her heels making gentle tapping noises against the wooden floor. Edward sits back in his chair and looks to the roof, and his tail sways about softly, the burnt tail fur nearly recovered from events in the prequel.

He leans forward and continues to record profit margins on the typewriter, loud clicking noises fill the room before Elise arrives back into the room, and says, “Your driver is ready to see you.”

Edward stands up from his office desk and walks past Elise, “Thank you Elise, you may take a break now.”

He leaves Howard Hayes in charge of the speakeasy as he trusts him to not do anything stupid with it and run it well. Edward walks out to the car and climbs into the passenger seat.

He speaks out to Alexander, “Hello Alexander, Let’s hurry this up.”

Alexander begins to drive them towards St. Louis, visibly annoyed by Edward calling him Alexander and replies back at Edward, “I believe that I’ve told you, ‘Eddy Holl’ that you should call me Alex.”

Edward replies back at Alexander, “Eddy Holl? Really? Also fine, I’ll call you Alex. On a different note. You look pretty snazzy today.”

Alexander is a Siamese cat kind of like Sedgewick Sable, wearing a full red suit, and he has a pair of yellow/gold spectacles on him.

Alex replies, “Thank you, Ed”

The rest of the drive to St. Louis is filled with the sounds of witless, pointless conversation, but eventually, they do arrive in St. Louis. Edward pulls out a wad of cash from his wallet and pays Alex with it, and Alex quickly drives off into the darkness.

Edward quickly makes his way into the finished theater. The room is completely spotless, he lets out a big yawn, and walks into his empty office. The Irish theater owner pulls out a script from his pants. He stares at the words on the paper before sitting in the comfy chair. He closes his eyes and before he can even think, he passes out.

He awakes in the morning with only one hour til the grand opening of his theater. He quickly scrambles to ready his things, and get properly dressed and cleaned up. He climbs down from his office and unlocks the doors, and opens up the theater for business.

The theater floods with people, and a certain detective with a knack for driving and fighting joins the crowd of people, looking up to Edward. Low murmuring fills up the room before Edward shushes the room

Eddy Holl begins to speak to the crowd, “Welcome! Welcome to the Edward theater. I’m here to bring you down the classic Shakespearean story of Hamlet. It’s an exciting one! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as much as I do. Now let’s start the play.”

Edward walks out from the stage as the actors walk on stage. Edward walks into his office, visibly nervous and staring at his watch. He watches the time slowly tick, and tick, and tick. He sits there in the quiet, dark room with a flickering candle all the way until the end of the play before his secretary arrives in the room.

Edward turns over to her, “Ah Eliza, well. How did it go? They liked it?”

Eliza replies, “It went well except for two strange people. One black and white tuxedo cat with spectacles and a tiger cat in a suit left a letter on their seat.”

Edward, confused, replies, “A letter? Why would they leave a letter?”

Eliza hands him a letter, shrugging, “I don’t know sir”

Edward says, “Fetch me a letter opener, please.”

Eliza walks off to go grab a letter opener and he just stares at the envelope with no name or address on it. He thinks out loud, “What kind of business does this person have with me?”

Eliza arrives back with a small knife, engraved with shamrocks and mini little bottles of whiskey, he grabs it and begins to slice the letter open. He thanks Eliza for giving it to him and he slowly pulls the letter out from the envelope and begins to read it.

“Hello Mr Holland. I know much about your work in Louisiana. I figured I would make my appearance to see your dinky little theater in my town. I got to say, it’s quite enjoyable to watch your plays, but on a different note. We have business to talk about. How about you call me, and we’ll talk further.”

At the bottom of the letter he reads out the name of the person who sent it.

“Asa Sweet.”

[emberxwilder]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 !

[cisfemale and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [EMBER WILDER]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [KATHERINE MCNAMARA]. You must be the [TWENTY-SEVEN] year old [MECHANIC AT PIT STOP]. Word is you’re [HARD-WORKING] but can also be a bit [DEFENSIVE] and your favorite song is [US AND THEM BY PINK FLOYD]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [SEABROOK QUARTER]. I’m sure you’ll love it! [mel, 23, est, they/them, no triggers]

TRIGGER WARNING: child abandonment, neglect, pregnancy, child loss, car accident

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

Name: Ember Lorelai Wilder Nicknames/Alias: Em, Little Flame, Firefly ( last two by her dad)

Faceclaim: Katherine Mcnamara

Age: Twenty-seven Gender: Cisfemale Sexuality: Queer/unlabled Date/Place of Birth: May 5th / Augusta, GA Currently: Aurora Bay, CA

Positive Traits: Hard-working, compassionate, kind Negative Traits: Defensive, self-critical, Astrological Sign: Taurus Archetype: The gentle soul

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘.

Ember was born to Faith and Louis Wilder, who called a small trailer home to themselves and their three children. Ember was the youngest of the three, worrying that she was a burden to the ever-growing family, another mouth to feed when resources were already slim.

Despite feeling like a burden to the rest of her family, Ember always had a close relationship with her father. A daddy's girl by nature, the two were thick as thieves and he supported his little girl every step of the way.

As for her mother, when she wasn't at work -- Ember found herself competing for her attention with her two older brothers, who their mother clearly favored. However, this gave her more motivation to keep her head down and put her everything into her academics.

When she was fourteen, she came home to find a note on her bed letting her know that her father had left her behind with the rest of their family and he had no intention of coming back. Papers were filed through his lawyer, and there was little else for the family in Georgia. It was an impulsive decision, but with her brothers now out of the house -- Ember and her mother relocated across the country to Southern California.

It was here where she met Chase Williams -- who she never thought would give her a moments notice. And yet, she did. Ember was a loner, kept to herself as she struggled to make friends with the kids who had practically spent a lifetime together. She fell head over heels in love with him and for the first time, she saw a future together outside of a trailer residence and beer cans collecting in every corner. She could have a life.

College was never really in the cards for her, considering her financial situation. Her mother had nothing saved, already living paycheck to paycheck and her brothers were forced to put themselves through school. This didn't stop her from going to a trade school nearby Notre Dam and becoming a certified mechanic.

At nineteen, she found herself unexpectedly staring at a positive pregnancy test. Even if she hadn't anticipated it, wondering if she was ever meant for motherhood -- she had every hope that she could give her daughter the best possible life that she could.

She remembers getting to hold her daughter like it was yesterday. She was absolutely perfect in every possible way. However, everything would soon change when one moment, the happy family were driving home and suddenly -- she was back in the hospital.

When Chase told her that their daughter had died in the crash -- something in her broke. It opened up and it felt like the universe was swallowing her whole. It didn't take long for her relationship with Chase to unravel, another casualty alongside the loss of the daughter they had brought into this world together.

For a couple years, Ember was restless. She found herself traveling all over the country -- rarely residing in the same place for much more than a year. Things were just easier on her own, evident by the way her father walked out of her life, her mother's near absence and the loss of her child + the man who she believed she would spend the rest of her life with.

This outlook turned her cold. Very little brought her joy, and she made very few friends. And while she never thought she'd return to California -- she soon found herself settling down in Aurora Bay about one year ago.

As she nears her thirties, she's begun to find some recognizable amount of stability. Things finally make sense. While she once lived in Ocean Crest, she relocated to Seabrook Quarter about four months ago and has lived there ever since.

Two weeks ago, she received an e-mail from a man who claimed to be her father, and that there was more to the story about the reason why he really left so suddenly. However, Ember isn't quite sure if she wants to hear it. Thus, she's found herself ignoring his messages. However, the more that come in, it's getting harder and harder for her to resist writing a response...

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒.

If there's anything that's been noticeable about Ember's grieving process, denial is a consistent trait. She's been avoiding the loss of their child ever since it happened as a form of self-preservation.

She's had very little consistency when it comes to her romantic life or friendships, that is, until she arrived in Aurora Bay. While being back in California has triggered a lot of old memories, she's found herself returning to some sense of normalcy.

For some reason, Ember is made deeply uncomfortable by being alone in her house for too long. Thus, she can often be found at the bars after work, avoiding the inevitable journey home.

A fan of the ripped jeans, flannel shirt and sneakers combo. A fan of denim in general. However, she practically turns into a different person on nights out.

MORE TO COME.

[dulcetmuses]

          elena really wasn’t sure how she was supposed to move or even think about anything other than him in that moment. she could feel his cum dripping out of her, how warm it made her feel inside. she wasn’t sure if anything could ruin that feeling of euphoria for her.  ❛  mm.. maybe our little friend outside of the door will carry you.  ❜  she laughed a little at that, nodding when he’d asked for her phone. she unlocked it and handed it over to him, leaning over to watch as he typed. she rolled her eyes at the first name, but the last brought a bit of a smirk to her lips.  ❛  louis? it’s cute. fitting.  ❜  elena told him. after taking her phone back, she added a purple heart emoji beside his name and then set it down.  ❛  do you want to take me home? i’ll gladly ditch my driver for you.  ❜  it wouldn’t be much of a loss at all, elena didn’t exactly like him or anyone else her father employed. she took a few more moments to recover before finding the strength to stand and reach down for her clothes. elena scoffed a little at his words.  ❛  and you would’ve deserved it if i had. next time, give me what i want the second i ask for it.  ❜  she told him. elena couldn’t deny the fact that she really wanted to see him again though.

the man outside the door was extremely pissed off by the time they finally opened it and stepped out, not that they cared, of course. he was just lucky that elena didn’t give into the part of her that wanted louis all night. maybe she could convince him to spend the night with her. it likely wouldn’t take much, just the promise of another round. she let him take her home though, and it wasn’t too long before he was pulling up in front of it.  ❛  do you want to come inside? i have a really comfortable bed that’s calling your name, can you hear it?  ❜  she smiled softly.  ❛  come on.  ❜  elena gestured for him to follow her inside. it wasn’t something she did often, bringing random men back to her house. she preferred hotels, they were more discreet and didn’t have all of her valuables inside. but there’s something different about louis. . something that made it easy to trust him.  ❛  you can leave your shoes right here.  ❜  elena told him, slipping her heels off and setting them aside. she leaned up to kiss him softly, pulling back with a smile.  ❛  want to take a shower with me? i promise i’ll keep my hands to myself. . or maybe i won’t. you’ll just have to come and find out.  ❜ 

Between the name, the sharp pain of her nails, and the new angle he was hitting her pussy, it was safe to say this was one of the best fucking hook ups of his life. It was jarring and just the kind of fucking weird that never really left you. One he'd compare to every bit of strange he got after and would likely never live up to. He was fine with that though. Ecstatic really. Cause while he didn't kiss and tell, didn't mean he couldn't use it. With some creative liberties, it could be transformed into something even more epic. Though as he neared his climax, he couldn't help getting a bit nervous, half expecting her to punch him just before he came or something equally bizarre to keep him from getting off at all.

Still, he groaned feeling himself on that precipice and rocked back to pull out and-- he jerked, her legs tightening, forcing him to stay inside of her. His brow furrowed, the words finally hitting him. Every bit of rational knowledge and instinct told him not to listen. To pull out and cum anywhere but inside. Why? He wasn't fucking sure. Maybe it was all the whiplash he'd experienced up until this point? Or the feeling of his impending death from the start. Or just plain and simple, he didn't want karma or fate or shit luck to greet him in a few months with a tah dah-- you are the father. But she held tight and irrational thought won out, because he knew-- he absolutely knew cumming inside her would feel fucking earth shattering.

Louis didn't fight it, didn't even comment. He just kept pounding away, the tightness of her legs only adding to the intensity of it all and when she came? The grip of her pussy knocked the breath out of him, his head lulling back as his muscles spasmed and he tried to thrust, tried to ride it out but jesus fucking christ-- he was whimpering at the tsunami of euphoria as he managed one last thrust and came so hard it took him out at the knees. Or it would have if he wasn't already on them. It was-- it was just a fucking lot as his body trembled, his cock filling her with rope after rope of his heat. It was likely she was dripping with it by the time he was spent. He barely managed to roll to the side as his body collapsed into the sheets, slipping out of her with a lewd sound and heavy breathing.

"Oh yeah? Who's gonna carry me?" he teased back, knowing it would be a moment before he could move at all. His orgasm had hit hard, harder than it had in a long fucking time. And he was feeling real weak so whoever it was who was banging on the door earlier would be waiting a while longer. He sighed, still fighting to catch his breath as she brought up his name again, "Give me your phone," his voice was gritty, hoarse from moaning her name as he came. Once she had produced said phone, he made a new contact. First name; Daddy. Last name; Louis. before he typed in his number. It could've been a big fucking mistake given the chaos that surrounded them in the last what? Hour? But that was future Louis' problem. He passed it back to her before getting the strength back to sit up, "There. And if you're serious about needing an escort home, just-- give me like five more minutes. Cause fuck-- that was..." he didn't bother finishing, instead he reached for her, pulling her into another kiss. This one much sloppier than those before it, but he didn't quite care either. "Pretty cute you wanna see me again...especially since you were thiis close to kicking me to the curb,"

[kenmas-consoles]

Hello honey! I hope you don't mind me requesting something with this topic but my father told me today that I should kill myself just because I bleached my hair and then that I should care about other's opinion and not my own so can I request how would William react to his s/o saying this to him? If you don't feel comfortable writing this it's fully okay, I understand 🤍 Thank you in advance though 🤍

Pairing: William Moriarty x Reader

Summary: You bleach your hair and your father disapproves and says harsh words that lead you crying and William is there to console you.

Word Count: 1,878

Warning: Mentions of death/ act of suicide

It was never a secret to anyone that being born into a prestigious lineage meant that you had watchful eyes on lock with your every move. Every action you made was like a public statement and it was quite restricting, never being able to act out in the open in fear of public judgement. It has been that way since you were young, (y/n) (l/n) the eldest daughter to a famous business tycoon in England.

Though upon meeting William a few years back right after a business transaction made by your father and William’s eldest brother Albert you had become close friends, and maybe something even more. The time you’ve spent with him made you feel free, free enough to express yourself because you knew he wasn’t one to judge. It was a breath of fresh air, you never had to worry about the public eye whenever you were with him. These days you have a little skip in your step, after gaining the confidence to just be yourself.

You had made a big decision of getting your hair dyed and you were quite jittery upon entering your estate with your newly done hair. The little adrenaline rush of somewhat planned impulsivity of getting it dyed thrilled you though you know that others may have mixed feelings about your new hair. It hadn't mattered to you much since you were sick of playing the perfect daughter role. You knew your parents would have to find out one way or another you just hoped they would be accepting. Besides, it was just hair and it wasn’t that bad. If anything you thought you looked 10x better a blonde.

Still, you made an effort into hiding it for the day and probably dropping the gun and talking about it tomorrow since you were still pretty tired.

Closing the doors silently you enter your room and just as you set out a sigh of relief you hear a clatter and a piercing shriek.

Maggie, your personal maid, was in your room with tea now stained on the carpet floor as she looked at you with wide eyes. Upon realizing it was just you, her young mistress, she had calmed down and rushed towards you. Holding you by the shoulders she inspected you in amazement.

“You- you’re hair!” she exclaimed in excitement, “You’re blonde! How-”

You giggled lightly at her amazement and loss of words and babbling as she held a few locks of your hair in her fingers.

“I’ve had it done earlier,” you said, giving a little spin. “How does it look?”

“Absolutely stunning dear!”

Her response brings a smile to your face.

“What in the heavens?!” A deep male voice exclaimed from behind the door and your smile had grown shaky as you realized that the voice belonged to your father.

You mustered up a smile and took a deep breath before facing him.

“Do you like it?” you asked. “It’s preposterous! outrageous! What were you thinking?! Or did you even think at all?!” “Please calm down it’s just- “Hair?” Pinching the bridge of his nose he turned away from you with a shake of his head. “ You’re being selfish again, why can’t you just listen?”

In a much quieter tone he says “why can't you just get it through your head that your actions greatly affect the family! your brother is months away from getting married and you-

why can't you just think about what others might think and stop with this nonsense.”

Each word brings a pang in your heart as your eyes sting with tears. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him either as you grew small in his presence, self conscious even.

A silence passed and neither of you spoke. The tension in the room was suffocating, your father looked as though he had more to say but he just clicked his tongue before moving towards the door.

“Maggie, please clean up this mess,” your father said without turning back to look at the now scampering maid.

Sparing one last look he sighs and says, “I’m done with this conversation, with you, you can go jump out the balcony for all I care.”

Once the door clicks shut, you fall on your knees. Never before had your father said anything so harsh nor has he raised his voice towards you before. The tears threatening to spill had already made its way down your cheeks and you choked up a sob. All the confidence you had built over the past years felt like it was deteriorating and the only feeling that ate you up was guilt and shame.

Maggie comes back in and rushes towards your side as she sees you crying. “He doesn’t mean that sweetie,” she says all while cooing consoling words and holding your crumpled form.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, your fathers words replaying like a broken record. Were you selfish? Was it your fault? You couldn’t help but think that and once again the ugly feeling of shame was boiling up within the pits of your stomach.

Watching from your balcony, your father who was talking to the coachman below. Downcast, he hadn’t spoken to you all day. Thinking back to last night where he couldn’t even look at you during family dinner nor even say a word to you during breakfast.

As though you were drilling holes into his head from above he had turned to face your balcony. You stepped back to avoid being seen but you saw him shake his head and then you felt the shame creep up again.

You were frustrated. At your father’s silence, his words, at yourself for letting it get to you so much. It was so really unlike you and you felt tears start to sting at your eyes. You knew your schedule was free today so you had decided to head for the Moriarty manor, your safe haven.

You made your way there without delay, gripping at your skirt as you sped through the streets of London, ignoring the weird stares and whispers of those who had recognised you. Nothing was more important now than getting there, since you were minutes away from breaking down once more.

Upon reaching the manor you were greeted by the familiar face of Louis who was tending to the gardens by the gate. Delighted you made your way towards him. “Louis!” He turned his head and stood with a shocked and bewildered expression as he blinked twice almost as if checking if what he saw was correct. “(y/n)?” he asked and you happily nodded.

“What happened to you, you look like you have been crying?” he asks.

You scratch your head a bit and mention how it was a long story not even denying the fact that he found out you were crying. Louis offers you another understanding smile as he walks with you to the manor telling you he’d go fetch William for you.

“I forgot to mention,” he says as he led you through the long hallways of the manor, “You look beautiful by the way, I’m sure my brother would think so too.”

You in turn blushed in response to his words.

“You can stay in the living room (y/n), I’ll go inform William of your presence now,” he says with a curt nod and a smile.

“Thanks Lou,” you say as you both exchange another set of smiles before he takes his leave.

A few minutes pass and you hear the sound of quick steps, the door of the living room bursting open to reveal none other than William Moriarty with the most agitated expression ever.

His agitation morphed to shock as he took one long look at you and he slowly moved towards the couch you had been sitting on.

One of his rare small smiles grace his face as he takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand tenderly.

“You look different,” he jests, then takes a lock of your hair between his fingers and rubs them. You both sit in comfortable silence and he takes this time to inspect your face, he notices the little circles around your eyes and how puffy they look not to mention your slightly rosey tipped nose. It wouldn’t take a detective to know you had been crying.

He looks at you expectantly and you take it as a sign to start spilling the beans. You tell him of how you had dyed your hair the other day to sneaking into the family manor that night uptil how your father had scolded you for your actions.

William just sat there with his hand in yours, staring at you lovingly as you replayed the story. Squeezing your hands ever so lightly when you had told him that your father had told you to kill yourself. He was appalled with your father to say the least, you the most brilliant person he had met and someone had the audacity to say such hurtful things to.

As you move your arms around animatedly to show your frustrations he found them rather cute and amusing, another smile moves up to his face. You were too caught up in retelling the story to notice him bring his hands to your chin. He moves your chin to face him and this action silences you.

Smiling at you once more he moves the hand holding your chin to caress your face. “Listen,it's true you have to consider others' opinions but that's just the tip of the iceberg, think about it... do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own? self-care is never a selfish act.”

You sigh, taking his hand that was on your face in your own, “It’s different when those people are your family. I don’t know how I could go back and face th-” “You don’t have to go back,” he grumbles under his breath but enough for you to hear.

“...then where would I go?”

“Simple,” he says with a compelling dangerous glint in his crimson eyes. “You are of age now, stay with me. I will marry you.”

Your eyes widened in surprise and awkwardly laughed it off thinking it was another one of Williams jokes but the look in his eye told you that he was dead serious. Your cheeks then set aflame as numerous butterflies crashed around your stomach and chest.

“I know it is much too early for a proposal but I promise to love and cherish you for as long as my heart keeps beating,” He then stands and extends a hand for you to take, almost a silent sign of asking you to accept. And once you do slip your hand in his he holds you by the waist for an embrace and whispers in your ear.

“Besides, I think you look lovely as a blonde.”

This comment leaves you in a fit of giggles. William James Moriarty will always continue to be your safe haven, a pillar of support.

Hey there angel I hope you’re feeling alright please remember that you cant let others decide your self worth for you so try not to let huetful comments let you down. I’m pretty sure you look amazing and hopefully your father will come around with getting used to seeing your hair that way. I hope this story was to your liking as well have some moriarty love!

Also I pretty much crammed this cause I only saw the request today and aaaaaaa im sorry anywayz hope you like it again sweetie!!

[watermelonlovershigh]

Single Dad Harry & His Daughter Rose (journey through life)

This was requested by this anon (instead of the daughter being just one of the ages you suggested, i decided to just incorporate all the ages, like a timeline of her life.)

AN: from now on, i think i'm going to use a random name generator for child names in my fics (like i did with this one). that way the name is random and with no thought. unless someone requests a name to be used.

This story contains: completely narration, no dialog, dad goals

{ dad!harry - singledad!harry - became a dad at 17 years old }

word count: 1320

Harry's journey of taking care and raising his daughter Rose as a single father.

Ever since Harry became a single dad, his life had been anything but easy. When his daughter Rose (named after his rose tattoo) was a baby, her mum completely left them, saying she didn't want to be a mother yet and it was a mistake to have not used protection. Especially when it was a one-night stand and that person was a celebrity. She had Rose (not finding it in her to go through with an abortion) and days later gave her baby to Harry, and that was the last time Rose ever saw her mother and Harry ever saw his baby's mama.

When Rose was a baby, Harry was the one that got up at all hours of the night to make her bottles, beings she had no way of breastfeeding. Most of the time on the One Direction tour bus because that's where he and his bandmates stayed while on the road touring. He'd also burp her and change her dirty diapers. Rub her little tummy when it ached. The rest of One Direction didn't always like being woken up to a crying baby, but at the end of the day, knew how special Rose was to Harry and supported him through everything.

His bandmates would often babysit Rose when Harry had to go into the recording booth and record his parts of their songs. Louis was the one who acted as a mother figure in her life (beings he grew up taking care of his younger sisters), like doing nightly feedings when Harry was sleep deprived. Or give Rose a bath in the little baby tub they bought for the bus when Harry was just busy in general. Niall being the silly guy, loved to make Rose laugh when she was being a bit moody. And Zayn and Liam were the protectors and kept Rose out from harms way.

When One Direction went on hiatus, Harry didn't have all the help he once had when living with four other people. At that point, Rose was three so it wasn't as hard to take care of her as it was when she was a baby, but still quite difficult for him being a single dad. She was potty trained and eating all regular foods. Though she'd sometimes still wanted a bottle of warm milk to help her fall asleep at night.

Harry would make Rose breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the two of them each day. He'd give her baths and washed her curly hair, sometimes making a soap Mohawk from the shampoo just to make her laugh. He'd read Rose bedtime stories and sing her lullabies. And though Harry tried to enforce Rose to sleep in her own bed like a big girl, he'd always cave in when she gave her daddy puppy dog eyes and a wobbly lip, as though she was about to cry. So often Rose ended up in her daddy's bed and Harry held her close, loving the feeling of knowing his daughter was safe and sound in his embrace.

Years went by and Harry sent Rose to kindergarten. Much to his disliking because he'd miss being with her through-out the day. He'd get up with her every morning and styled her hair to the best of his abilities. Sometimes not being able to accomplish what Rose requested and feeling terrible. Times like that was when he wished Rose had a mother or mother figure. Harry would pack Rose a lunch to take to school and help her with her homework when she got home at the end of each day.

Harry went to every school play Rose was in (she loved preforming just like her daddy) and every PTA meeting the school held. Though he juggled being a international popstar, Harry always put his daughter first no matter what. He helped her with any school projects she'd have and Harry even went and chatted to the principle when Rose complained that some kids were being mean to her. He was a super dad, doing it all.

When Rose turned ten, Harry decided she was old enough to go on tour with him. He hadn't properly toured since One Directions last tour (just doing local gigs here and there) and that had been years from that point in their lives. Harry wanted to wait a few years and give Rose somewhat of a normal childhood with stability, hence why she attended public school in her adolescents.

Harry hired an on-the-road teacher to have as Roses homeschooling teacher that'd stay on his tour bus as they traveled. His number one priority was making sure she got her education over anything else. Harry paid for extra security guards to protect Rose when she went out, beings some fans went a little crazy. Harry had his assistant watch her when he was busy in the studio or doing interviews. Life was hard at times and yes Harry wished Rose still had a mother, but wouldn't have traded his life experiences of being a single dad for nothing. It truly helped him mature faster and appreciate live to the fullest.

Two years later at age twelve, Rose became a women. Well she started her period and matured like a women. Because all she'd ever known was living with her dad and not really having many women figures in her life, telling Harry she started her period wasn't that bad. Rose was fortunately home when her period had started and walked into the living room where her dad was sipping a glass of wine and informed him she was menstruating.

In the twelve years of Roses life, Harry knew that that day was coming. The day she'd start her period. He was only regretting that day because his little girl wouldn't be so little anymore, but wasn't hoping that day wouldn't ever come because he knew how important it was for a women to have one. Harry grew up with a house full of women so periods were a natural and easy topic to discuss. He hugged Rose, congratulated her, and immediately drove her to the local pharmacy to purchase some pads and tampon (and chocolate + a heating pad).

Between the ages of twelve and Roses current age of sixteen, life went as well as it could have gone for Harry and her. Unlike most teenage girls, Harry raised a good and respectful young lady. Rose doesn't like to go out and party like some of her friends do. She'd much rather stay at home and spend time with her dad. She's a daddies girl after all. Rightfully so because to her, her dad was the only one who truly loved her and cared for her, unlike her dead-beat mother.

As for Harry, he's still single. He's had a few flings through-out the years and a couple one-night stands, but he hasn't meet anyone that felt like a keeper. Or someone who he felt would love his daughter the way she deserved to be loved and treated. Harry doesn't tour as much anymore because of his age (not due to fan loss because he still has millions of fans. fans that love to call Harry a dilf.) and Rose is back attending a public school in London. They often visit her dad's ex bandmates and Rose loves them all dearly. They helped raise her as a baby and feel like secondary father figures to her.

Sometimes Rose wishes she still had a mum. A women in her life that she could have womanly conversations with and chat about her love interest to. Even just to say she had a mum because when her friends chat about their mums, she feels left out and sad. But truth be told, she almost thinks her life was meant to turn out like it did. Her and her dad Harry make a great father/daughter duo and she wouldn't trade the connection they have for anything in this world. Even if it was for a mum that loved her.

Masterlist (regular smut, fluff & sicfics)

My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

Harry Styles Series One Shots Masterlist (for my one shots that go with a series universe)

Harry Styles blurbs, concepts, & short stories Masterlist- (short writing with little to no dialog)

[realcatalina]

I decided to do deeper dive into Catherine's first pregnancy and I am honestly bit concerned...regarding the timing.

You see 6 weeks prior to birth is called laying in. Then 6 weeks after birth woman was churched...and could return to society and start to sleep with her husband again...

And given when they got married (11 June 1509) pregnancy was announced(August 1509), when baby kicked(begining of November), Catherine's due date should be March or April...That's all ok.

Given when she laying entered her laying in(in mid-March) she more likely believed to it be late April.

But here is the weird thing...We all know New Years prince, if he was full term was conceived around 1st April.

However on 20th of May Catherine told spanish ambassador Louis Caroz that she was no more than 9 weeks pregnant. Meaning she started to sleep with Henry around March 18.

Just few days after her laying in started, if not immediately after. (idk the exact date when she entered her laying).

Like is it coincidence her belly deflated immediately after her laying in started...or did they deliberately had her enter laying in...6 weeks after stillbirth...so she could then sleep with her husband in secret?

...The infection would explain the later problems in pregnancies...but timing here would suggest...that they all played a giant roose!

...But if it was made up lie...about the 2nd baby...why would Catherine not talk about it when she writes to her father in May saying she 'recently' lost the baby? ...I mean it'd be more understandable, bring more sympathy to her...if she told him about it...and if she was liar...why not do that? ...But instead she is begging for him to not scold her for the loss...and I'd say in her mind the loss is fresh...

Imo because to her finding that 2nd baby didn't exist was same as if she lost it for real...

Idk what to think anymore...It's like ping pong with my brain... I even started to discrediting myself...and questioning my favourite Queen's character...I fear Thistle started to rubb on me...

But there is another explanation...I always assumed the belly deflated after she entered her laying in...But Fernandez never said that.

What if? It happened sometime in Febuary or earliar in March, and they decided...that best course of action would be for Catherine to enter her laying in, seclude herself, get pregnant...and so they deliberately picked date of enterying laying in 6 weeks after stillbirth, ...but the infection was still real...it just didn't last as long as we thought. Or worst of it...

We know on 24 February Henry ordered furniture for the nursery...now did he do that to keep appearance? ...I mean if baby originally was due in March or April, late February is pretty late...because at the time furniture took time to make...especially for royals...all those carvings...

So he could be doing that to help promote the image of her still being pregnant...even though he knew by then she wasn't...

(It could also be just wrong wording. Maybe he ordered the nursery to be furnished...like prepared...and furniture was already long ago done...)

But what could also have happened, is that he didn't know at all.

I mean Henry is included on list of people who knew by May...and he must have conceived his son before this...But we cannot be certain he was told before late March. ...I mean Catheirne was terrified of her father's reaction...what if she was equivally terrified of Henry's?

By this time I don't think Henry did ever anything wrong to her...he didn't cheat, he was in love with her...he'd give her no reason to doubt him or to not trust him...or to be afraid of him...this was very early in their marriage...He was far from tyrant we think of.

So if Catherine was insecure...it'd not be because of Henry, but projecting either her parents marriage, her siblings' marriages...or what other people told her...like if some lady kept telling her ...how she had cousin who had misccarriage and afterwards everybody hated her...etc...

Catherine could then start to project these fears...and could be stressed unnecessarily by those around her...even during her first pregnancy...and that is never good...

...But had it been the case and Henry only found out in late March...and found he was deceived...well, could you then blame him if he was years later wondering if she lied to him about something else? How can you trust somebody, who at beginning of your relationship doesn't trust you?

...Now, him finding out in late March would be worst case scenario...and i think...he'd probably be way less likely to trust her early on in marriage if he was already deceived like that(whetever out of deceitful intentions or out of fear)...but if Catherine delayed telling him of loss ...and only told him after she thought she was pregnant with 2nd time...once again, it'd still crack a bit their trust...but not as significantly...so that in my opinion would be more likely...and it'd be understable that she couldn't bring herself to tell him...but when she thought there was 2nd baby...then would be ideal time to tell him...to soften the blow...

Of course best scenario would be that he knew immediately...but if you're wondering why he eventually stopped trusting her...well, here you have one of possible scenarios where the trust could have been damaged a bit, if only he was informed about this later than would be ideal...We cannot exclude the possibility.

...And yes, I am starting to make Catherine sound as very insecure person...but...you can be at times very strong, and at times very insecure... There is nothing wrong with that. Some even say that courage is not absense of the fear...but overcoming it...And I kind of like it. We're human, we do mistakes, we're not perfect. But we try to overcome our shortcomings.

Catherine’s health part 1: 1st pregnancy and its aftermath-the begining of end

Lots of things are discussed about the first failed pregnacy of Queen Catherine, theories that already Henry VIII gave her syphilis etc.

But I have acquaintance which I call Thistle(because of her attidute) she is mainly active on quora, and she for long time was VERY strongly against Queen Catherine. I didn’t manage to completely get her on our side(yet), but at least to give Queen Catherine benefit of doubt.

But this different narative of hers, despite her making many very wrong assumptions, have also turned up with interesting finds-details which other people missed.

I honestly believe she figured out why so many pregnancies of Queen Catherine ended up in misfortune.

The first pregnancy and its aftermath are the real cause. Very likely.

She had that thought upon reading letter from fray Diego Fernandez(Queen Catherine’s chaplain) to King Ferdinand, informing him of stillbirth which has occured on 31st of January 1510.

Even documentaries appear to have misunderstood what the letter is describing happened after. It wasn’t fake pregnancy which caused belly to be swollen. But infection. Massive, long-lasting infection.

Most high and most powerful Lord, All the past time I did not dare to write to your Highness of the condition of the Queen my Lady, in order not to annoy her, and because all the physicians deceived themselves until time was the judge of the truth. 

(He is criticizing Queen’s physicians and says they for long time refused to accept the truth.)

The last day of January in the morning her Highness brought forth prematurely a daughter, without any other pain except that one knee pained her the night before.

(Catherine had atypical labour pains just in one knee, it’s pretty rare for labour pains to be just in legs and not in belly. But due to this people were oblivious she was in labour until baby came and she didn’t have midwives around her etc, hence there was much bigger chance of things going wrong. Sadly the baby girl didn’t make it.)

This affair was so secret that no one knew it until now, except the King my Lord, two Spanish women, a physician and I. (Note that midwives aren’t on the list. And that previously he said physicians and now he uses singular physician.(might be mistake in translation, letter was in Spanish)

The physician said that her Highness remained pregnant of another child, and it was believed and kept secret.

(One twin surviving and one dying, is not impossible. But usually it is unproblematic if it happens during 1st trimester. She was 6-7 months along. 

Even nowadays, there would be risks with this. Big ones. For baby, for mother. In those days, it’d be true miracle if mother and 2nd baby both turned out fine. In this case, however. There was no 2nd baby.

Any grieving parent would hang to whichever straw they were offered. Both Henry and Catherine believed there was 2nd child, Henry even ordered nursery to be furnished in February and Catherine entered her laying in later on in March. They were very convinced!)

Her Highness, in order to conceal it, did not guard herself against the cold, 

(She was acting as if nothing happened and didn’t rest, was forced to keep appearance and fake it and she wasn’t treated by midwives- Not ideal for recovery.)

and her uterus intumuit so much as never was seen in gravida muliere.

(intumuit means swollen and gravida muliere means pregnant woman, 

hence her uterus has swollen so much as never was seen in pregnant woman, possibly to be even bigger than while she was pregnant, which would suggest trully horrible infection)

Her Highness believed herself to be with child, although she had some doubts.

It has pleased our Lord to be her physician in such a way that uterus decrevit,

(uterus has decreased-swelling disappeared) and by his infinite mercy he has again permitted her to be with child.

This your Highness is to believe, for it is as true as I am a man. Her Highness denies it to all the world and to the King, but to me she has told it that she is since three months [pregnant],

(First of all, did he just suggested that Queen had lied to others, but told truth to him?! Also he must misunderstood how far along she was.(or translation is incorrect) Because Catherine’s belly decreased probably in March, after she entered her laying in, and no way she was 3 months pregnant in May. But she could be 3 weeks pregnant, might have just missed her period and hence was still reluctant to say she was with child, she wasn’t sure. But she probably confessed to her chaplain that she believed she migh be.)

 and her Highness told me that uterus suus iam intumescit multum; 

(that her belly already swells a lot)

her Highness cannot deny it, because she is already, by the grace of our Lord, very large, 

(Which shouldn’t happen so early in the pregnancy. Which could mean, the infection wasn’t yet entirely over. And hence it wasn’t really ideal time for Catherine to get pregnant again so fast.)

so much so that all the physicians know and affirm it, (the pregnancy)

and a Spanish woman who is in her private chamber told me the same thing from secret signs which they have.

(was it one of those two spanish women who were there when stillbirth occured and didn’t fetch midwives afterwards? Also did they spy on their Queen?)

I pledge my word to your Highness that it is so, and I hope in God that it has been a beginning to give to your Majesty a hundred grandsons of their Graces my Sovereigns instead of one.

Her Highness is very healthy, and the most beautiful creature in the world, with the greatest gaiety and contentment that ever was. The King my Lord adores her, and her Highness him.

(Oh that is interesting, because when Henry VIII was about to exile him from his court for being ‘too friendly’ with ladies, Fray Diego was shouting at him how he was mistreating the Queen and what a horrible husband.)

 Your Highness is bound to give many thanks to our Lord that he gave you two such Christian children in their Graces my Sovereigns, so very wise, learned, and with all the natural perfections above all others. I kiss the royal feet and hands of your Majesty for your confidence. 

(Flattery, flattery and more flattery)

In all that Don Luis Caroz, ambassador of your Highness, shall command me, you will find me a very true servant of your Highness as I am. 

The interest of my stay in this land after serving God [paper missing] your Highness and the Queen my Lady with very firm and entire faith. The day that your Highnesses shall command that I return to my convent I am quite prepared to go, to pray to God for your persons and royal states, which may our Lord preserve with many more additions of kingdoms and lordships.

From Greenwich, the 25th of May. The perpetual and humble servant and chaplain of your Highness. V. Didacus Fernandez.

The letter paints the most horrifying picture. Catherine’s belly was swollen for weeks after the stillbirth and though it decreased sometime in spring(probably after she entered her laying in mid March), possibly in May it wasn’t yet entirely over.

It was at least six weeks of serious infection. Possibly 3 months!

I agree with Thistle, the Queen was very lucky it didn’t kill her and that she wasn’t baren afterwards. This infection must have caused some damage to uterus. No way it wouldn’t. 

Hence already by this point by May 1510, no matter what midwives would do in pregnancies to come, no matter if best physicians of that time would try to help, the damage was done. Most of Catherine’s children were doomed by this point.

And it appears the damage caused it to be much harder for Queen to deliver full-term and strong baby.

It wasn’t her husband’s fault, it wasn’t her fault, but perhaps we still can blame somebody.

The actions of her ladies and physician(s) were most unfortunate and frankly, they cared more about Queen’s reputation than about her health!

That is one of the main reasons why nobody told midwives. 

The infection might have been avoided if midwives were fetched as soon as Queen delivered her stillborn child. Hell, the midwives might have even been able to revive it! They had the experience far bigger than any of Queen’s ladies could have had. Or male physicians.

(Because at the time physicians rarely were present at birth, hence they were inexperienced! Edit: According to some people, Spanish physicians at the time were more present at births than other physciaisn. However I still think there would be difference in skill of midwives and physicians. Basically male physicians were GPs…responsible for many general ailments, while midwives were OBYGN, specialized in pregnancy and childbirth.)

The midwives would treat Queen with herbs, kept her warm and look after her in fallowing weeks and do their best to dispell from uterus what wasn’t supposed to stay there. 

But instead those two spanish women fetched male physician, who wouldn’t be as experienced in female health(if he knew anything at all). He convinced Queen everything was ok and that she was still pregnant with 2nd child. 

(But to be fair, since they were hushing things up, I think he didn’t have chance to exhamine her himself, so he relied on the ladies and Catherine telling him what was going on…)

It’s debatable whetever or not he had her drink herbal teas to avoid infection and to have placenta dispell properly.

But why did they come to him instead of midwives in first place? Partly because the physician was fellow spanishman(who was more likely to keep his mouth shut), but also due to sexism. At the time, people belived male physicians were more knowledgable than female midwives. (Which in most cases was exactly the oposite of reality!)

It’s such great irony, that Queen who was advocating her daughter’s rights to throne, who herself was daughter of Queen Regnant, had still been surounded by sexist people. 

I also don’t get why they thought midwives would talk! They didn’t in rest of Catherine’s pregnancies and it would be most stupid if not outright dangerous for them to talk. And it wasn’t as if it was Queen’s fifth failed pregnancy.

Catherine’s own most trusted people diminished greatly her chances of having healthy babies and caused her so much suffering!

We will never know which of Queen’s ladies those two spanish women were, but probably two of Catherine’s noble ladies. Those were the ones who would sleep in same chamber as Queen, sometimes sharing bed with Queen even, hence most likely to be attending her on night when stillbirth occured.

If I recall corectly, there was at the time Inez de Venegas(lady Mountjoy), Isabel and Blanche de Vargas(probably sisters) and Maria de Salinas(later married Willoughby).

Just 4 spanish ladies. (Tell me if I missed any, I probably did). 

(And no there was no Catalina de Cardones-that is madeup character based on Isabella de Cardones and Catalina of Motril.)

We consider these her best friends, most loyal etc. But were they trully? I used to think so, now I am uncertain.

The confessor/chaplain couldn’t say anything as he was bound to secresy(yet he doesn’t mind telling upon others, including giving details of private conversation possibly confession with Queen), but the physician(s) also should have informed the midwives and work together with them. If I am not mistaken, Queen Catherine had 2 spanish physicans, and the letter doesn’t make it clear if just 1 was involved or both.

The way Queen’s attendants handled this was a disaster!  I know they were in shock and panic, but …the people who she trusted most have failed her. And sadly it wasn’t the only time. Just the one with the worst consequences for her.