#and if i dont constantly watch what i eat and if i dont diet and restrict and fast And suffer miserably foreverr and

[thatuselesshuman]

Me when someone says some dumb shit about my medical issues

[cirillafionaelenriannon]

how are we all living in todays diet culture...literally unachievable beauty and body ideals. me being told by a doctor at 16 that i have pcos and ill have to diet my whole life if i dont want to gain weight. and that dieting means giving up half the foods i love so much (bread) cutting out all sugar, and eating plain boring vegetables. and then theres people saying oh but dieting doesnt mean eating boring food! like actually it does when u have pcos and the recommended diet is fucking keto. 

[skzloversblogsposts]

Eat well and live well [l.f][a][f] TW MENTIONS OF STRUGGLING WITH FOOD ETC

TW: mentions of struggling with food and eating , reader suffers and goes through body image issues as well as coping with them ( destructive behaviours) bigger reader

An: I think it’s important that we all sit back every now and again and tell ourselves that we’re beautiful inside and out , it’s so easy to get caught up in life and forget to value ourselves and ultimately ending up being overly critical so if you haven’t told yourself that you’re beautiful or you haven’t heard it yet , take it from me you’re absolutely gorgeous, stunning and please never doubt it 💕

“ no no you can’t eat that think of how awful it would make you look “ “dont you even think about eating anything now you at a few hours ago””if you just lost a few pounds you’d have guys lining up at your door “” it’s not a big deal I’m just being honest with you , you’ve gained a few “

The water in the pot placed on the stove boiled , its savoury flavoured broth causing the room to be enveloped in its scent . You watched as the bubbles rose and fell patiently waiting to pop your cluster of noodles in to the hot water. The weather was cold , the sky hung gray and the windows steaming up from the indoor heating blocking out the cold . Winter was your favourite always had been . From the fallen leaves covering the sidewalks in an array of what was once greenand lush now brown and dried to the icy wind nipping at you cheeks gracing them in a crimson hue , it all felt so comforting but the best will always be the warm baggy clothing , concealing all your flaws trapping you in a sheet of unexposure shielding your body from the harsh words of those around you .

Growing up bigger than others is never easy , constantly being on a diet , restricting foods you love and having to wear certain clothes as a child is enough to leave any kid confused but having to carry those same insecurities and rituals into adult hood seems almost foolish , but here you stand infront of the stove in deep though of whether you should eat the bowl of noodles or not . You sigh grabbing the pot and chucking the soupy liquid down the drain.

Your shoes hit harshly against the pavement as you ran , late for your only chance to catch a bus to work , the commute being longer making it harder for you to walk there . Arriving at the bus stop you crouched down your head pounding and your heart laboring in your chest as the dizziness hit you in waves leaving you unsteady on the side walk panting in heaves . Your body rocked forward slightly startled by the warm hand pressed against your lower back , you blinked haphazardly trying to vanquish the fuzzy shapes that appeared to cloud your eyesight “are you alright ?” He spoke his low voice soft and welcoming as he gently rubbed circles on your back . Your breathing uneven as you stood up , a sheen of sweat covering your worn out body as you took in his appearance , he smiled sweetly urging you to respond “ I’m okay thank you for asking” you said . His eyes widened as he looked at his hand pressed so lovingly to yourside soothing the exhaustion your body expelled “ sorry ,” he chuckled removing its warmth “ you don’t look too good… are you sure you’re alright?” He asked his voice filled with concern noticing your frail trembling hand filling with the hem of your scarf . You nodded casting your gaze away from him and onto your approaching bus .

You stared into the mirror your face paler than it usual your eyes bloodshot and sunken making you appear sick , you weren’t sick , hungry , tried , nauseated and a little hot but sick wasn’t the right word , you just had to hold out a little longer and maybe you’d feel better , you splashed water on your face the droplets easing the heat you felt as you continued on with your day .

The streets never failed you when it came to good food it’s vicinity coated in vendors selling delicious items filling the air with its lovely scent inviting customer and peaking people’s hunger . Your mother never bothered to listen to your requests , as you pulled on her sleeve “ can we get this please it looks yummy “ your younger self expressed pointing to the saucy skewers laden with meat and veggies , she sighed “ you’re not eating anything , you had so much already what are you trying to get bigger? Isn’t it embarrassing enough to have you look the way you do now ? “ she spat .

You clutched onto the strap of your bag as you walked through the smells of the various items awakening your already hungry tummy and churning your nausea. Your eyes stayed steadfast on the ground as you walked past everything determined to get home to the solitude of your confinement where you could be left alone without any distractions . Your head met with the chest of another as he gently grasped your shoulder halting your movement ending the collision between you two , he smiled your eyes narrowed in on him recognizing his features “you’re the girl from this morning right , wow ! what a coincidence!” His eyes crinkled warm laugh filling his chest , you smiled politely watching as he placed a polystyrene container infront of you “ I just got these they’re fresh off the grill we could share them , I mean I did bump into you it would be a shame not to indulge in this coincidence “ he smiled showing off the skewers the meat and vegetables coated in a moutheatering sauce .

Felix sat you down on the bench after introducing himself , the river I front covered in a warm light from the tiny sail boats as he spoke about where he’s from and what he does for a living and occasionally humming as you spoke about yourself, your tummy rumbled filling the comfortable silence you had now created with the stranger you had met “ you haven’t had any” he said gesturing to the food you two promised to share “oh I’m not hungry “ you said smiling at the end “ you sure ..?” Felix spoke noting your rumbling tummy “uh huh I ate a while ago “ you said your lie leaving a bitter after taste in your mouth causing the guilt to wash over you , Felix was a complete stranger you shouldn’t feel guilty about lying to him especially over something so trivial. Maybe it was because he felt so comforting and warm easing your worries with his words or maybe you felt like you were betraying yourself , depriving yourself of your basic needs neglecting any self awareness you had.

Felix who was once a stranger , coursing you out of a dizzy spell now three months later sat on the carpet of your apartment , pizza box placed on the table while you retrieved plates from your kitchen making it a point to drink a glass or two of water before , he smiled cracking open a can of soda as you placed the plates down steadying your legs as you sat down next to him placing too much of pressure on your wrists causing you to wince “ are you okay? Did you get hurt ?“ Felix asked jumping ever so slightly to examine you “no no no I’m alright “ you said “ just a little cramp “ your words leaving your mouth as you pressed on your wrist interchangeably hoping to ease the pain that the tired sore muscles were feeling . Felix nodded seemingly understanding as he opened the pizza box , the smell of cheese and pepperoni filling your apartment , Felix placed a slice in your plate and one in his , eyes fixating on the movie you bother agreed to watch . You looked down at the triangle placed so perfectly on your plate . It’s grease rising through the cheese coating it in a delicious sheen as you moved it about the plate avoiding picking it up .

Felix sighed half way through the movie and turning to face you “yn..” he spoke his voice low as his gaze slowly shifted to yours “ why aren’t you eating ..? “ his curious eyes searching yours for an explanation as you placed the plate on the table “ I’m just not hungry that’s all “ your words untrue , Felix knew they weren’t true , he knew that all too well “ you’re not hungry?” He spoke “ did you eat something before? “ he asked . Your mouth ran dry as you looked at him his face stoic as he asked you questions which seems so simple to answer but carried enormous weight “ I had something a while ago” you lied “what did you have ?“ he asked “ uhm- I -uhm it was a uhm …“ your words trembling unable to form a sentence

“ the truth please “ Felix spoke his gaze softening at your unsteady voice “ I don’t remember “ your voice thick with disappointment “what do you mean you don’t remember?” Felix asked gently taking your hand in his “I don’t remember because I haven’t really eaten anything” it was simple really , the truth but why did you feel so ashamed , so guilty watching Felix’s facial expression fall as he grasped your hand tighter “ I know that feeling all too well yn “ his word soft “ I’ve noticed don’t think I haven’t , I’ve noticed the way your eyes dull at the mentions of food

Or how your hands shake slightly over the dishes placed so perfectly infront of you or how you discard your leftovers claiming to be full as you throw away a full plates of food “ he shuffled closer to you gently tilting your chin up to meet him “ I know why you’re doing this I’ve been there too, too many times to count , too many times to ask for help , I know what it’s like and I know it’s hard but I can’t stand back and watch you do this to yourself , watch you destroy the beautiful person I met “ his hand cupped your cheek “ the person who’s so perfect in every way possible that it pains me to think about how you don’t see it “ your eyes prickled with tears “ I know what a battle it is and I know how you’ve been silently fighting it , fighting yourself but please don’t do this to yourself it’s not worth the trouble , I want you to be happy , to be healthy , to eat well and to live well too even if it means I have to get you the help you deserve I’m willing to do so “ he spoke “ I’m willing to risk it all for you ..for us ..” he mumbled watching as your eyes sparkled with tears slowly trickling down onto his hands , your salty wetness streaking down earning a kiss to your cheek

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in every way possible , please don’t ever let anything make you feel otherwise you’re beautiful ..”

[aanabear2803]

hi i've seen your posts about body weight and I as a fat girl, was wondering if you are open to talk about it or give advice about it

I have been struggling real bad with it lately, I thought I was ok and had been for a few years, turns out I hate my body so much and you seem so confident, you got any advice? would you be open to talk about it in dm's?

feel free to ignore this if it's uncomfortable tho

Hi :3 um... so. I struggle with my own body weight a lot. I wont really talk about the bad thoughts that lurk about.

Ive been overweight since I was a wee lad. It especially hurts when my meds make me constantly hungry. Like I am always fucking hungry. So I just snacked the day away without any thoughts of consequences. I still eat these meds to this day. I am still as hungry as ever.

Id say I wont have very awesome advice? Because what I would normally do when those bad thoughts do happen is... post nudes on my kinky tumblr? Which, you know I dont expect others to do. Im sure there are healthier ways to express yourself than to go on tumblr and do shit like being half naked. However there are tons of gorgous women who dress in lingerie and post on tumblr all the time. You kinda just need to know where to look.

Ive also been trying to loose weight. But its more for a health thing since Im close to being diabetic and Im super duper not down for that myself. Im already tired of the meds Ive eaten I dont want to have to subject myself to stabs of insulin.

Im not on a fad diet of any kind. Im just eating 1200kcal a day watching as my weight slowly goes down~ I calculate all of this stuff too.

There's also the difference in how being fat and being unhealthy are wildly different. There's also that thing on how genetics have a say in the weight a person can be. But that is not my expertize at all! But you can be more than welcomed to go search and read up on those.

Ive been more open to exposing my skin a little at a time? Like wearing a bikini while in the pool when Im exercising. Ive been very recently trying to get corsets to work out too! Altho whether you like it or not there will be stares from people. But I would say start from the clothes, buy stuff you think would make you strut a runway. Dont just buy tshirts and pants and call it a day. Find a top in your size and fucking go for it. (Altho I understand many curvy people will not be able to find it cheap and Im just saying if you are desperate for the cash.... you can try Shein. Which I understand many Americans are banning and all the problems with fast fashion into overproduction but they do have many plus size clothes that most store dont normally have for people like us so you know its entirely up to you! But I was close to tears when I bought something and it just.... fits you know? Just dont go all out and buy their entire stock. I buy 5XL on there and dont worry about the number being so high, its probably based around the chinese style with their insane standards)

But hey look, people are going to judge no matter what ok? They always will. They will always find a way to trash talk. Its hard to ignore them, I get it. But theyre not you. They dont know if youre trying to loose weight or whether the food youre eating is a reward for having done a week of gym. Id honestly just say the fries are delicious and they should try it and we move on with our day. Its like online haters, you dont waste an hour of your life justifying things to them, so you have no reason to need to justify things to irl people.

I do hope this helps a little? I dont mind dms if you have any other questions of course :3

[trainingdummyrabbit]

✨ i dont know much about demon slayer, introduce me to it!

oh boy i can certainly try my best!! this will be somewhere between an Introduction and What I Like About It <33 so basically:

demon slayer is a manga/anime series set in taisho era japan (aka ~1910), revolving around a thousand year conflict between Demons, folklorish man-eating creatures turned from normal humans; and Demon Slayers, a secretive group of swordsmen sworn to protect humanity from this supernatural threat.

the story revolves around two siblings-- Tanjiro and Nezuko Kamado, and their struggle stumbling into this conflict after Nezuko is turned into a demon.

on paper, it's a pretty typical shounen anime-- a very straightfoward "good-vs-evil" plot with a heavy focus on swordfighting. however, in my eyes, its charm comes less from its actual in-present-text plot, and more on the sheer amount of love put into so many little details in so many places. i'll be keeping this as entry-level spoiler-free as i can, but i'll elaborate on a few of my personal favorite bits! under the cut:

Art Direction

Narrative Details

Characters

> Art Direction.

ill disclaim that i dont watch a Lot of anime-- in fact, this is pretty much. the Only anime i watch. but the art style + animation of this series is absolutely fucking Stunning. every single frame of it looks like it could be its own illustration, and this traditional brush-like line weight sticks around for the entirety of the show. not only this, but a lot of the sillier, more doodle-esque panels in the manga get translated into the anime, and it is insanely charming.

its ability to handle atmosphere and backgrounds is just as strong, and it only gets better the longer the show goes on. also, circling back to the line weight, there's a lot of effects like Fire and Rushing Water, and not only does that too carry the same lining style, but its constantly in motion. its genuinely such a treat to watch.

and god, the voice acting. (DISCLAIMER ive listened to both the english and japanese versions and Heavily Heavily prefer the japanese voice acting. i wont elaborate too much because this will get Long but you gotta trust me: youre gonna wanna pick the subbed version.) the voice actors do such a genuinely stunning job at both conveying their roles, and also conveying tone and emotion. demon slayer is a tragedy and jesus fucking christ do they fucking commit to it. if a character is crying, they are going to Cry. if they are screaming, they are going to fucking scream. it's very intense at times, but god is it so fucking good.

tanjiro's voice directing is just. [waves hands around] SO GOOD. he's described by another character to have "a sound so kind it makes you want to cry," and. shit dude! theyre right! he's got such a soft and kind inotation to his voice, and yet he still has the range to do [waves hand again] All The Rest Of That. AND THERE'S ONE ANTAGONIST. in season 2, there's a demon that has three entirely different voice tones, and it is genuinely chilling to hear them switch between them just. on the drop of a hat. you have to trust me. you are just going to have to trust me, its SO good.

> Narrative Details.

this one's A Lot. theres something about the tone of the story itself, the way it Carries itself and its relationship to its setting, that is just. so delightful to take in. it's got this weird split between the realistic/historical and the fantastical/mythological.

demons are real, pseudo-unkillable, oftentimes physically montrous, and possess nigh magical powers ranging from typical elemental effects to Pots That Eat You. however, they're also simultaneously staunchly stemmed in the Physical and Tangible-- theyre treated as entirely different species with entirely different biology. their abilities stem from their Blood-- as does their seeming immortality, which is a hypercharged version of cellular regeneration, needing to be fueled by their altered diet.

slayers are nigh-superhumanly powerful swordfighters with ridiculous amounts of physical strength and stamina, using techniques bedazzled with imagery of flames, thunder, rushing water. however, the biggest part of the series is focus on the training of demon slayers-- focus on breathing and allowing your body to function at peak efficiency-- sometimes even pushing past its typical limits-- each form of swordfighting having an entirely different physical execution. those that reach the highest levels of skill are able to practically conjure the look and feel of the elements their techniques are named after. hell, the focus on their swords is shockingly detailed as well!

its a delicate balance that is genuinely so much fun to watch and analyze-- in fact, some of the characters' looks are even given folklore-esque explanations for things like hair and eye color. it's delightful!

> Characters.

in my honest opinion, this is probably my favorite part of the entire series. there's so many things i could elaborate on, and it's all presented with such shocking simplicity! it all feels very genuine! they all, honestly, feel like People!

the character design is, comparatively, very simple. even so, so many of the characters remain genuinely iconic and easy to recognize at a glance.

and then, their actual characters. the way they act. This is the bit i love the most. aside from background characters and the such, there isn't any character that feels entirely one-note. the protagonists are genuinely so lovingly written, and theyre so so easy to get attached to. tanjiro is genuinely one of my absolute favorite protagonist characters, not just because of the way he is written, but the way that you get to see him Think and Grow. he's defined by his kindness, but is staunch in his motivations.

as well, demon slayer is very good with character introductions. it has this funny thing that it does where it introduces a character in such a way that makes you go ". am i supposed to like this one??" presenting them in an almost one-note stereotypical fashion, sometimes even in an antagonistic fashion-- but episodes down the line when the stakes raise their head, you look back and suddenly realize: oh god. i care about this fucker. if anything happens to them im going to actually cry.

its such an interesting way of introducing characters, especially the way it completely reframes the way a character Acts at any given moment in a way that makes them painfully human. you really start to feel for them!

all in all, the charm in demon slayer lies in its worldbuilding, its characters, and especially: its Themes. god i could go on for hours about the links between characters in regards to the themes it chooses to present and delve into, but. this is already long enough. but i'll just say: it handles all of these things ridiculously well.

what does it mean to lose yourself? how do people interact with the concept of death and entropy, of loss? legacy, family-- how do these ties push you on, weigh you down? what will we do for the people we care about-- how far are we willing to go to protect the ones we love? what was given for us to make it this far? who will carry on our message when we are gone?

bonds between siblings, between friends, between those we choose to protect. what makes them real? what are we willing to fight for? to die for? loss is inherent to being alive, but so is joy. we're temporary, we're fragile, we're unstoppable-- we are all painfully human, and thats what makes our lives worth living, no matter how dark, no matter how "insignificant," we're worth it because we're together, we're worth it because, inherently, we are alive. and that is worth protecting.

[finalprojectgroup20]

Women's Expectations and Beauty Standards in Sports and Athletics: Unit 1

Something that has always stayed in the back of my mind while growing up as an athlete myself is watching sports and major sporting events like the Olympics. Women are constantly being viewed not only for their performance but also for the way they look and how they are portrayed to the eye of the public. I am not saying that this is only a problem for women in this particular professional world but that they have it much harder. The standards are through the roof for how they should look, act, sound, and behave to make the public and media happy. This does affect all athletes, but you dont typically see men photoshopping themselves to appear extremely skinny or changing their body shape while they are on the field or jumping from bar to bar like Livvy Dunne did to appease her audience. 

Dunne photoshopped her shoulders and torso to be smaller in comparison to the original picture. Later dealt with a huge amount of backlash for this performance on social media and took down the photo since so many people were shaming her. Not ever considering why she felt the need to edit her photos since she is already an amazing gymnast. Female athletes aren't just competing for a spot in the top ranking, they are also competing with each other for fame and camera time, something only gifted to athletes if they meet all the criteria that the media wants to see - skinny, beautiful, blemish-free, flawless, and overall the “perfect” body that women are brainwashed into striving to be. It's such a dangerous world to be thrown into and if not taken with a grain of salt. You might end up in the firing range like Dunne. 

This isn't new either since women have been allowed to participate in sporting events and teams they have been criticized for how they look and less on how they perform. This appearance-obsessed culture is something that has been riddling with dance and gymnastics since the start of it all. Women all over the world have come forward to speak out about USA coaches who have starved and even forced them into extreme diets while shaming young girls who could not shed weight due to their genetics or body shape. Garber writes “ However, dictating female athletes’ bodies is unfortunately commonplace in virtually every sport”. This isn't just coaches and managers who are trying to force eating habits and dictate the weight of women. Just this last February, track star Mary Cain also known as “The fastest woman in America” set a lawsuit against her personal Nike coach for forcing her into an abusive diet, starving her into submission that later resulted in a deep and overwhelming depression episode that lasted for months. 

Another case in 2016 with the tennis star Eugenie Bouchard came out where she spoke out about her battle with an eating disorder due to the pressure and expectations from the outside world and herself. Women are more than what they look like and how the media is portraying them to be and if the whole world can't see that then the harm will continue to follow suit for these amazing athletes that dont get to truly shine without someone or something trying to bring them down for not being what they want them to be. With my lasting words on the subject, I would like to inform you that through the National Eating Disorder Association, 62% of female athletes in weight class or aesthetic sport suffer from some type of eating disorder. I hope you let that information sit with you before you try to judge an athlete for more than how they perform in their sport.

Work Cited:

Savage, M. (2012). Body image in sports. Character Education - Santa Clara University. https://www.scu.edu/character/resources/body-image-in-sports/ 

Majumder, A. (2023, November 6). Olivia Dunne Sparks internet backlash over “photoshop” controversy in latest post. EssentiallySports. https://www.essentiallysports.com/us-sports-news-gymnastics-news-olivia-dunne-sparks-internet-backlash-over-photoshop-controversy-in-latest-post/ Garber, E. (2020, March 10).

Female athletes are worth more than their appearance. Massachusetts Daily Collegian. https://dailycollegian.com/2020/03/female-athletes-are-worth-more-than-their-appearance/

[mistigri0000]

You will talk about your bad experience in foster care and there will always be one stupid fucking bitch to say smth like "you had food and water and u still find a way to complain" i wish there was a fucking bean emoji to describe how fucking stupid you are really.

1. WE BARELY EVEN HAD FOOD. At that time i was muslim and couldnt eat meat that wasnt halal (i could eat meat except for pork the rest had to be halal) we were two kids to have this diet. Wed either eat fish or eat nothing lol and i cant tell u how fucking tiring it is to eat fish at every single meal, one day i was eating a fucking radish watching everyone taking a huge bite of their burgers lolll and when id dare to buy myself like a pizza thered always be sum kid to complain about it ?

2. I was constantly living racism for no goddamn reason (theres never a reason to be racist but u get what i mean, i didnt do anything beside existing) like im telling u i was just sitting there eating my meal on ramadan at night and i just got called a terrorist and a "fucking muslim", when id ask to see a hairdresser or buy product for my hair theyd refuse. And no its not a budget problem theyd just refuse. Bc its too complicated well actually one time they tried to buy smth lol but it was straightening cream and when i told them she just said "oh sorry there was a black girl on the package i didnt bother reading what was written on it" but u take the time to read "for blonde hair" on a shampoo bottle ?

3. When ure a traumatised kid you dont give two fucks about food. I went on a hunger strike bc i was just tired of their faces and everything. I was tired to do the dishes for a house i hated so i just stopped eating. Trust me when i say i wish i never told anything to my psychiatrist abt my sexual assault at home

4. I could never forgive them for anythinggg

[sereniv]

Exactly! When someone says they are doing their best, i take their word for it. I might not believe it, but i am not them and therefor dont get to define what is nescessary for them, or what they can and cant do

I always bring this up, and this wasnt about veganism but about ethical chocolate, but someone said that a hersheys chocolate bar was what kept them from killing themselves, the one thing that kept them going.

Now idk if i believed them going off of the rest of the stuff they said indicted that they might be stretching the truth, but i kept that to myself. Because it doesnt matter

It doesnt matter what random person feels they need to do. I encouraged that person to do what they needed to do to be safe. I suggested they try alternatives, but that at the end of the day you cant beat yourself up on something you genuinely need, which is why i always say that necessity is defined by the individual

What we should be doing is constantly talk about what the base definition is. Which is the Vegan Society definition, which is the original coined definition from the 40s.

That Veganism is avoiding animal exploitation in all forms, as FAR AS IS POSSIBLE AND PRACTICAL. Caps for importance

Combat misinformation by just spreading information

And in cases of like obviously not vegan people (aka spreading misinformation, even if they call themselves vegan. like dieters) let people know

Veganism is SO accommodating, truly anyone can be vegan because its based on what you can do- but when you tell people that they get angry, and they dont want to admit it, but its because they arent doing their best OR they are misunderstanding what 'your best' means

Your best means: Doing what you can that doesnt negatively affect you in a way that is lasting or extreme.

Personal Religion or culture (not a whole religion or a whole culture, someones INDIVIDUAL position in that religion or culture) and animal use needed for their personal connection, that is valid.

Food deserts, that is valid. Some people are able to eat plant based in food deserts, but just because some can doesnt mean all can. even two people living next door from each other.

Health reasons. There are not a lot of true health reasons that stops one from eating plant based, but regardless, this is valid. Again, just because something works for someone else with the same condition doesnt mean it works for you

Working/time management is valid. Some people have 2 jobs and kids and have no time to cook, you are still vegan if you eat at mcdonalds everyday if thats all you can do

All that is required to be Vegan is to agree that animals do not deserve to exploited in anyway UNNECESSARILY, and that as humans we should always be seeking to find better ways to do things, ethically, sustainably. And that even includes plant based products, like almonds ( ot that almonds are so terrible but for the sake of example)

All anyone asks is that you sit down with yourself and figure out what is truly a necessity, and what isnt. To check in with yourself often. but above all and i really mean this, is to have fun with it

veganism is a serious topic, and some people stay by watching videos and reading up on facts, but for some people what makes going plant based hard is that it feels like a chore

be curious, nudge yourself. Find a reason to keep trying.

Veganism isnt a diet. its not a fad. its been around for a long long long time even before the term was coined, because its not a diet. its a philosophy? that just so happens to have ended up being based in fact.

Seriously though, make content and posts about what veganism is (and isnt?) but dont go to individual people trying to figure out if they are lying.

As long as you talk about shit, people will pick up on what it actually is. You dont have to go after anyone.

in response to your reply about the definition of veganism

couldn’t people start saying things like “I eat meat 6 days a week, I’m vegan because I give up meat one day a week but it’s not possible or practicable for me to give up the other 6 days because I just love the taste of meat so much and couldn’t stand to give it up. But I’m doing my best by giving it up for one day”

Would that person really count as vegan?

Sure, they can call themselves vegan if they want to, the it would just be a bit meaningless. A man who cheats on his wife daily could call himself a good husband because he buys her flowers for Valentine’s Day - nobody can stop him doing that, it just won’t really amount to very much because the labels and the self identification aren’t important. Behaviour is what matters - and we all know that. Do we need a strictly defined definition of what a good husband is because of that? I don’t think we do.

The only way to decide who ‘counts’ as vegan in a way we’d all agree to is to appeal to a central authority that veganism just doesn’t have. That is also true for people who want to think of themselves as a good or ethical person, unless you’re religious, there is no ultimate authority on whether or not you actually are good. You can decide you are good, I can decide you’re not, your friend can decide you sometimes are but not really. There is no other way to deal with ethical designations without an appeal to authority, and that won’t help us when it comes to veganism.

I understand the impulse to want a clearly defined label so you can point to the hypocrites and say ‘you’re not really vegan though are you.’ There are times we may want to do that and when doing so is totally reasonable, like when someone clearly has the capacity to avoid harming an animal but does so anyway - they may call themselves vegan but we wouldn’t agree that they are.

That’s really the best we can do, and honestly I think that’s completely fine, since the alternative involves gatekeeping and excluding people who really are doing their best and deserve to be part of this community. I’m just not interested in having any sort of dogmatic rules or list of criteria for who gets to call themselves vegan and who doesn’t, and I’m very wary of arguments that try to promote the establishment of that sort of orthodoxy when it comes to philosophy and ethics.

[otteroflore]

spoilers for osmosis jones

my partner and i watched osmosis jones and here is my summary

-bill murray is a good comedian, and funny. he is not funny in this movie

-in the first 5 minutes bill murray begins eating an egg with mayonnaise on it which is the first sign hes eats “unhealthy food” but like. my guy its an egg with more egg on it. eggs are healthy...

-the cars having cilia instead of wheels is creative and fun but i honestly am not sure the average child under 7 appreciates cilia the way i do

-i just feel like if you’re going to make a movie about the body either make a lot of medical references and aim for an older audience who you can teach or just make fart jokes but its like they cant decide

-the movie aims to gross you out all the time

-i feel bad for frank but also hes a terrible father just terrible

-theres like sort of creativity with the designs but imo almost too much homogeneity. The average citizen of Frank seems to be a white blood cell, depicted as a blueish humanoid, or a red blood cell, depicted as a reddish skinned humanoid, but it’s unclear what the mayor and leah are supposed to be since the white blood cells are cops and the red blood cells are just shown like picking up trash or whatever (which is also like, idk why they didn’t involve red blood cells doing smth cool like deliver oxygen and involve the plot). All the pathogens (”germs” but ok) are green blobs except for the main one, Thrax, who has a sharp-edged red-and-black design. Besides being a bit on the nose, it feels like the background character designs could have been a little more interesting, especially given one is labeled a “flu vaccine” who is a cop informant (as a metaphor for vaccines its pretty nice). Since flu is a virus, the informant should look like a virus and thus more like thrax than the other characters who are implied to be bacteria or whatever. it could have lead to some interesting mystery about whether hes a virus or other pathogen.

-the main girl cell character is *purple* for absolutely no reason, it just really irritated me

-the tonal dissonance btwn the animated and live action scenes is startling

-whatever they were trying to do with Drix The Cold Pill wasn’t... enough. i feel like hes supposed to have a buzz lightyear out of his element vibe but it doesn’t work well

-more inconsistent sizing in this movie than in the su episodes people like to bitch about on here

-I googled eyelash sizes bc of this movie and found out an eyelash diameter is like 10 to 100 times the size of a white blood cell so its probably not *that* bad in that scene but i also found out about eyelash mites and now im like well that should have been in the movie. also im upset about it

-also bill murray is just disgusting. this movie is so gross and unfunny it hurts

-its also one of the most insulting / anti-fat movies ever and i’ve seen the farrelly brothers later horrible movie shallow hal. like the movie is so fckin mean to bill murray for eating shitty food or whatever that his daughter implies his mom died because of their diet. it is SUCH a shitty message to tell to anyone! jesus christ!

-such weird classist implications too, like the offhand bit that he got fired from his job at a factory to go work at a zoo with “a ninety percent cut in pay” which like first of all. you need expertise to work at a zoo like i dont want to undermine factory labor but the skills for working in a pea soup factory are going to be very different from a zookeeper. but then also he has a nice 2000s middle class all american home he is somehow still affording.

-but then theres the fact he eats all junk food which is constantly depicted as disgusting and vile and is clearly meant to be mocked by the audience (and his daughter as a stand in for the audience is very upset by it). like first of all... fuck off with rudeness to anyone for how they eat but second of all poor people often 1. cant afford better food and 2. eat junk food bc its the closest thing to a luxury they can’t afford. i guess by giving them the big house its showing that bill murrays character has the choice to afford better food? but then why throw in the bit about his character losing his job and taking a pay cut?

-its such a weird plot contrivance that the end of the movie relies on his daughter wearing fake eyelashes. Like, real eyelashes fall out sometimes they could have just done that. or something else entirely

-the ending cumulates in frank, bill murrays character, flatlining and an incredibly tv-star-telenovela-bait man in a doctors code announcing hes died and then his daughters tears bring him back to life

-actual diseases are so much more interesting than this movie.

-also this movie is not funny please dont watch it

[poptod]

Pull the Stars Out of the Sky (And Gift Them To Me), (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: The new Pharaoh has a bit of an obsession problem.

Notes: i suppose this would technically be yandere but i really dont want to admit that i wrote yandere fanfiction about a childrens movie WC: 4.6k

+

He called himself a savior. His people called him a God. Thus he acted as a sort of savior God, decked in gold, more powerful than the kings of a hundred foreign lands. He kept his friends close as he had no enemies, those in power too afraid to stand up to his might. 

It was not as though he was undeserving of this title––quite the opposite. He dug his country out of a dangerous recession that followed an invasion by the Hittites. He defended his status as Pharaoh against his tyrannical elder brother, who had attempted to claim his rightful place on the throne. He brought great prosperity to his people and maintained his image of regality, the untouchable air around him, as though the Gods truly did walk the earth in the form of him. 

Here he was, the most powerful man to walk the earth, coddling you as his fingers ran through your hair.

The decisions that brought you to this moment were poorly thought out at best and downright shameful at worst. Your home in the southeast of Africa now lay what felt like eons behind you, hazy memories of chains and scuffing, bloodied feet whirling in your head. Even in your village you knew of him––not by name, of course––and had already grown to fear him. By the time you got out of your home village and began going market to market, you knew to stay clear of him at all costs. But his dirty soldiers were everywhere, and constant vigilance brought you back-breaking stress that had your steps faltering. 

Your stumbling was what brought you here. Stumbling into prison, stumbling into a palace, stumbling into a King's chambers.

"Aren't you just gorgeous," he cooed softly, petting your head. 

The rough, uneven pull of your breath was the only disturbance in the peaceful room, bathed in warm light and Egyptian paintings. Every nerve in your body screamed to get away, to worm yourself out of his touch, but with every attempt he just held you tighter. 

"What's your name? You look hungry," he said, eyes scanning your panicked face. "Would you like something to eat?"

Punch him. Talking to you like a dog.

You shook the thought out of your head, but the Pharaoh took it as a nod of confirmation. 

"We'll get you some food," he decided with a smile, separating from you long enough to stand and pull you up with him. 

He did not part his hand from yours, instead leading you through the long, tall hallways and their arches that painted scenes from stories you didn't know. Your past excursions to Egypt had hailed no such royalty, nor did any of your other travels. Most of the time you stayed in hostels and taverns. The grandeur and sanctity of churches and temples were as close as you got to this, standing on the cusp of a garden that stretched further than you could see, the white alabaster pillars lining your vision. 

"Come," he said, and you thought it best to try not to disobey him. "This is a food garden. You can eat anything you like."

It had been a while since you'd gotten a good meal. The last thing you ate was hardtack from a tavern about a six-hour walk down the river from here. 

The Pharaoh followed closely behind as you moved forward, constantly looking over your shoulder as you scanned the different vines and bushes. It was the color that caught your eye––most of the plants along the Nile sported an olive-type green, dull and yellow-ish. Many of the leaves in this garden were a bright green, more so than moss and grass, lively and soft beneath your fingers.

Only after scanning the whole of the garden did you decide on what to eat. From blossoming flowers in the water that lined the walkway to the figs hung high on the trees, you chose plums sprouted fruitfully from a short tree.

You sat right where you stood as you began gnawing at the flesh, tangy juice dripping from your bite marks. After a moment of watching you the Pharaoh lowered himself to your height, earning a chary side glance from you. 

"What is your name, lovely?" He asked again, much softer, as he once more began to pet your hair. Most other times you would've shaken the hand off, but most other times it wasn't Pharaohs touching you. 

"Amoke," you said through a rough throat and full mouth. Your voice had remained unused since you stepped foot in jail, and it was only now that you were reintegrating its' use.

"Amoke," he repeated, nodding. "A western name. Is that where you're from?"

You nodded.

"Do you like it there?" He asked quietly.

You shrugged.

"I should like to keep you here, then," he murmured, gaze flickering to every feature on your face. You watched his interest closely.

What came to mind was that you didn't want to stay here––that you wanted to keep on the road, stay away from the permanent and escape the inevitable routine. You couldn't say that, though. Not to his face. With nothing on your mind but leaving him and his touch, you remained silent in the wake of his request. 

The sun soon set behind the garden's walls, casting long shadows that consumed the both of you without fail. When the residual light of the sky began to fade, he took your hand, paying the stickiness no mind as he led you back into the palace.

"I shall keep you in my room," he said with a firm confidence in his tone that stewed in your empty chest. "If ever you need something, just tell me. I can give you anything you desire. During the day you should stay in my room as well––it's safer that way. I'll be able to keep you safe."

From what?

Fifteen years travelling the world on your own and now you're forced into a single room for your 'protection.'

"My name is Ahkmenrah, though most call me by my title. 'My King,' and such. You may call me what you wish. I don't mind," he said, a smile crossing his features as he opened the door set in front of you. His eye only tore from you for a second before his attention was back, scanning the way you stepped nearer to him and into the room. 

The once-bright light of sunset had vanished in his bedroom, replaced by the eerie purple of a late dusk. Outside the balcony arches, the sky bore an ombre of plum and blush, reaching up into the dome where stars had already come to see the world.

"I know your name already," you murmured, staring out to the city. His eyes remained ever on you, burning the back of your neck. "I know you freed many of your slaves but kept worker camps in Kush. I know you intimidated every nation so severely you can do anything you want now. It's not like anyone will stop you."

"You're knowledgable," he said, taking a seat on the floor.

"Is that what's happening here?" You asked, but he didn't quite understand. At his confusion you sighed but continued. "Am I supposed to be intimidated enough by you that I will stay here of my own free will?"

He furrowed his brow, tilting his head ever so lightly to the left.

"You... don't want to stay here?"

"No. I have a life that I'd like to get back to." Much of it being avoiding you.

"I don't understand," he said after a beat of silence. "You want to leave? But – there is nothing in the world I cannot give you here. Any riches you want, yours. Any delicacies are yours."

Ahkmenrah collected things. Already it was clear enough to see––collect and retain an image that prevents any fight against him, collect the riches of the world to give to his people and himself, collect the respect of those around him, and collect you. He will share with you everything he has gained if only you join this ever-growing, ceaseless collection of belongings. There is nothing stranger than being offered to become a toy.

"I prefer to keep moving. Meet new people," you said.

"You'll be safe here," he said, reaching for your hand. You instinctively pulled your hand away, but a sudden poisonous glare overtook his eye, and your heart froze in its' place long enough for him to gracefully lead you to your knees.

With you now raised on your knees, he met your height, nuzzling your cheek with his nose. 

"I don't need to be –"

"You will stay here," he said, his intensity thrumming in your nerves. Once again there was no thought more comforting than leaving this place.

He must've noticed the panicked look on your face, as his expression softened.

"Do you understand? Oh, lovely," he said in a hum, fawning over you as his touch overcrowded your senses. His nose rubbing up beneath your jaw as he nuzzled into you, his hand holding your hip tight as the other tangled in your hair. He took in your scent with deep appreciation. "Sweet darling.. pretty one."

His mumbles grew less coherent the longer he held you, dusk fading into midnight as the silence of crickets resounded in the distant flora. The tension in your chest never fell, leaving you exhausted with your stiff breaths, bags beneath your eyes begging you to fall asleep, even if it was in the possession of another.

From waking up in an underground prison to mistakenly entering a King's chambers, the day weighed heavy on your mind with little solace at the end. Still, the body has its' cravings that will never relent, and you fell asleep to the rhythm of his praising murmurs and stroking hands. 

Even hours later you awoke to arms still twisted around you, keeping you pressed tight to the warmth of the Pharaoh's chest. Hunger bit at your stomach, acid burning around the empty walls in a sweet reminder of your recent diet. Two-ingredient crackers and two plums in the last two days. You supposed that you wouldn't have to worry much about that in the future, so long as you stayed in his graces. While you doubted he would withhold food from you as punishment, you wouldn't put it past him, as it was a common jail tactic in many cities.

Wandering had been your sin for many years before this moment, and it would continue to be so whether or not you gave into the urge. Being stuck in any place––even one so comfortable as this––itched at your skin, tugged at your motionless legs and pulled at your scattered fingers. Despite your original insistence that you should stay still, your foot began to gently bounce as your fingers fidgeted restlessly. Your eyes darted every which way.

"I see you're awake," he mumbled, voice barely there in the first dregs of morning. "Stay a little longer."

Not that you really had a choice. His legs were all tangled in yours and you could barely move.

For what seemed to be another hour and a half you lay there, wondering when he would wake again and finally release you. He couldn't keep you here forever––not sleeping with him, not in this palace. It was clear he would not willingly let you go, so in the meantime ideas stirred in your head, plotting out ways to escape without his knowledge.

A knock came from the door when rays of sunlight began to touch the bedroom floor, flooding in through the arches. You wriggled when you heard the sound, disturbing Ahkmenrah from his sleepiness, which at last led to the loosening of his grip. The moment he went lax you tore yourself away.

Breath finally returned to you, the long hours of night fading away as your chest heaved an even up and down. The blankets around you fell as the Pharaoh stood, making his way to the large doors, where he removed the lock to let in a lean servant.

"Good morning, my King," he said, his gaze naturally coming to you. He stared at you but addressed Ahk, his words concise and posture straight. "You have a meeting with the embalmers of Thebes this morning, on the false accusations. After that you have –"

"– to overlook the temple building in the markets, yes, I know. My memory isn't that bad," Ahkmenrah grumbled, sighing deeply as he rubbed his face with his hand.

"Apologies, I just..." the servant's eyes flickered to yours, "didn't know if you.. drank last night."

"Just a glass, Naguib," he said with a slight smile, one that fell once Naguib began to root through his wardrobe.

You watched from your spot on the floor; the glint of gold in the closet, the mirror perfectly reflecting the King's standing position. His reflection yawned, dreary eyes meeting yours with a gentle delight. Instantly your vision darted away. 

"Amoke, this is Naguib," he said, and in that moment you forced yourself to turn back to him. He was smiling expectantly, the servant behind him waving a polite hello. You returned the wave and he appeared to be satisfied.

Naguib picked the King's clothes and donned them on him, from the lapis beaded collar to gold cuffs on every wrist and ankle. The cape that streamed from his shoulders was a light all its' own, as though Ahkmenrah wore the sun upon his back, the silk drifting in gentle waves towards the marble floor. Only the crown was more regal than that, but above all was the man himself. The sweet coos and fawning words of the previous evening had faded into a stone face, pride on his puffed chest, and cunning on his parted lips. 

"I'm afraid I'll have to leave you here for the day," he said as he stared at his reflection, smoothing out the wrinkles in his sleeves and the unevenness of his necklace.

"But –"

"No," he interrupted you before you could truly start, voice dipping low as half-lidded eyes turned to you. 

There was something about his stare––something about the way he looked at you, as though he knew every thought in your head. This must've been the look that, in part, earned him his reputation. 

"Stay here, pet," he said in a softer voice, bending down to kiss your forehead.

His lips were warm and enviously soft on your skin, but you had little time to process it before his cape whipped behind him, leaving you alone in the room. Naguib had left with him and locked the door. Now the only sound to calm the incessant ringing in your ears was the incredibly distant murmurs of an early-morning market, filled with birdsong and calling voices attempting to sell their work. 

Fumbling to stand, you padded with bare feet towards the open arches. From here you could see the Nile and the many temples sprouted up throughout the city, their towers marking themselves distinct from the houses cluttering the twisting streets. It wasn't all unlike the other cities you'd seen––a different architecture style, of course, but similar nonetheless.

The arches had no railings of any sort, so as you peered over the edge, you kept both hands on the pillar beside you. Right beneath the Pharaoh's room was a garden, smaller than the one you had visited the night before. 

It wasn't too far down, either.

You darted back into the room, pulling the thin blankets off the bed and off the floor, tying the ends together with frantic hands. Even your breath hastened to match your heartbeat, speeding dangerously in your chest as apprehension filled you. There was no time to waste––you needed to escape now, before he came back, before you had to memorize his routine; before this became more than a two-day problem.

Guards in their uniforms passed by outside, circling the palace with spears in their hands. You glanced out at them as you worked, trying to find the rhythm in their marching, and having little luck before you realized there were multiple groups passing by the arches at different times. A soft groan left you as you bit your lip in irritation. More things to calculate.

Although the ground didn't seem all too far away, it took a decent amount of time before the makeshift rope could reach the ground. Several hours of rearranging the types of knots and their placements finally wrought good results––the lowest blanket could now touch one of the trees near the garden's entrance, which you could use as a way down.

The sun had to be around midday, going by the shadows, and you assumed the Pharaoh would not be back to his bedroom until later in the evening. Before you could stay to see that time, you tied one end of your blanket rope to the arch's pillar and casted the length of it below you.

Hesitation caught you as you attempted to climb down, the sheer height of the building catching you off guard. What once seemed a short way was suddenly a means of death––not that it wasn't ever that before––and you could barely breathe with how tight your throat became. Your shaking hands gripped the cloth tight, sweating with the tension building in your muscles. Gentle breezes only accentuated your sweat, but it was not of import to you. All that remained on your mind in the overcrowding of fear was the need to escape, and thus you returned to your task, carefully scaling down the palace wall.

Nothing but silence dared make a sound in your thoughts as you climbed, breath evening further with every step you took downwards. The anxiousness only faded once you could see the individual leaves of the tree below you, and the design of the blanket stretched out on its limbs, crimson red and gold in the sunlight.

The moment you could reach you did so, clambering onto the thin branches in hopes of swinging towards the thicker ones. As you reached for the next branch, another hit your wrist, pain instantly shocking your left hand out of its' grip. Fortunately you caught yourself; just barely, and a second later you dropped to the ground with a huff.

You ran.

Without thought you ran, as fast as your feet could take you, as far as your lungs would allow. Air began to sting in your lungs, wind biting at the back of your open throat as you bounded through the halls, praying you wouldn't meet anyone on your way out.

The Pharaoh and his power was intimidating, no one could deny that, but your fears remained centralized in the idea of being known. You scarcely gave your name and hated living on in memory. Your own world was perfectly fine and you found no need to exist in anybody else's, no matter how much Ahkmenrah wanted you to.

But of course your stumbling would get you. As your thoughts were occupied, you paid little attention to the road in front of you, toppling over a railing you hadn't noticed yourself barreling towards. You tried to catch yourself with bulging eyes, but the ceiling was fading with mortifying speed. Bile filled your mouth as a sickness invaded your stomach.

Cool water splashed around you, soaking your clothes and skin alike as you sunk into the pool. Vines entangled you, the legs of lily pads separating in your wake, their flowers naught but silhouettes above you. A shadow appeared above you, but before you could make any decision it grabbed your upper arm and forced you out of the water.

"Ohh, dearest," sung a voice, accompanied by the close cradling of your body despite it being soaked. The sick feeling in your belly grew into a poison as recognition came to you. Your muscles tensed again in his grip, every nerve fighting against a fleeing instinct.

"My King, isn –"

"Quiet, Gyasi. My poor, sweet love... what are you doing here?" He asked, his hand coming up to stroke the hair away from your face. "I told you not to leave the room."

You shivered, leftover adrenaline sending shakes throughout your body. It left a tense silence where you would originally reply.

"You feel cold," he said, though you didn't feel at all cold. "Let's get you cleaned up, hm? I ought to do it anyway, since your clothes are a little torn."

He brought you to your feet, keeping an arm around you as he patiently led you away from the pond and those gathered there. Most everyone stared at you as you left, but you could barely notice, your vision blurred and hazy.

Steam filled your senses in the room he led you to, warm and scented with honey and lavender. Your eyes opened there, head raised to see the servant women working, stoking the fires and heating the water. Beside you, Ahk motioned to one of them, mumbling something in her ear that sent her out the door. Though curiosity did come to you, you kept silent in the unease of the Pharaoh's presence.

He had yet to accuse you of trying to escape, but it was only a matter of time. The rope in his room was still hung off the balcony. That fact kept you wary as much as it kept you jumpy, something Ahkmenrah unfortunately noticed.

By the hands on your shoulders he led you to a bath dug into the raised floor, the water inside steaming pleasantly with the scent of honey. Reluctantly you began to peel your clothes away, all too aware of his eye on you, memorizing how you stripped yourself down. As you dipped into the water, you attempted at removing the sick irritation you connected with him staring at you. It would happen quite a lot more (whether or not you wanted it to) before you could leave this place.

"Do you have any injuries?" He asked as he moved to sit beside you, his golden robes dirtying on the floor.

"I don't know," you said hoarsely.

"I'll have one of our physicians look over you. That was a long fall," he said, leaning forward to kiss your forehead again, before standing and leaving you to the care of the servants.

As promised, a physician visited you shortly, scanning over you while one of the women scrubbed at the dirt beneath your fingernails. The heat of the water calmed your muscles, untensing your anxious grips even as you were bombarded with questions.

By the time the servant women had dried and dressed you in new clothes, the Pharaoh had yet to return from whatever excursion he had left on. It didn't bother you, considering you didn't especially like being around him, but it did leave you wondering as you lazily watched the servants. Even if you wanted to leave you couldn't; you had no idea where in the palace you were, and there was a fair amount of guards wandering around outside the room. You bit at the inside of your cheek.

A good while later––far past the midday when you'd first fallen––he returned with singed clothes, ash covering his face. Your eyes widened at his appearance, and he was quick to notice your mild alarm.

"Incident at the, um, Bastet temple. One of the new priests really likes working with fire," he mumbled in a dazed voice, shaking his head as though he was trying to shake himself back into his body. "Are you alright?"

You nodded.

"Good. I've got most of the rest of the evening free, so let's get you back to my room, yes?"

It took quite a lot of self-control not to spit in his face, and much more willpower to slowly nod. He would accept no other answer and the suggestion of such would land you in unknown terrain.

He led you back down the hall, and each step you took burnt your regret into the ground beneath you. If one could identify the scent of fear, it'd be coming off you in floods, obvious in your panicked eyes and hastened breath. He would find the rope, and he would no doubt be angry. None of this would have happened if you had just watched where you were going.

Panic saturated your heart, functionally marinated it, as Ahkmenrah reached forward to open the door in the middle of the hallway. Every click of the latch had you flinching, till the door swung open and the light of late-afternoon hit your eyes.

The rope tied to the arch was inconspicuous, but the absence of nearly all the blankets in the room was not. Slowly the cogs in his brain sped up, and in each passing second you could see further recognition in him, till his eyes turned to the rope knotted around the pillar.

He said nothing––simply moved forward, glanced out and down the balcony, and turned back to you.

"You were trying to escape?" He asked you, nothing behind the tone of his voice, which might as well have been as bad as any anger he could've unleashed.

"I told you I could keep you safe here," he continued, and you, in your head, connected dots that suddenly appeared. He would never let you outside his room now––now that his point has been proven. "See what happens when you disobey?"

You blinked and he was standing in front of you, close enough that every inhale of his chest brushed against your shirt. At first you tried to step away, but he moved to cup your face, keeping you frozen in your spot. Your terrified eyes stared into his.

"The next time you try to leave here without me, I shall have to intervene myself, if you do not hurt yourself on your own as you so often do. Do you understand me?"

You nodded. There was nothing else you could do, not with your throat so tight you could barely swallow.

"I obviously cannot trust you," he said, his gaze flickering between your eyes.

He left you standing in the middle of the room as he went to one of his chests, pulling and unlocking the latch before the creak of hinges sounded in the room. You turned to watch in both interest and worry, patiently waiting for his reveal, before he turned back to you with rope in his hands.

As per usual, your first instinct was to bolt out the door. Your feet practically itched with the tension stored up in them, but you stayed perfectly still, terrified into submission as he pulled you forward. You almost stumbled, but before you could fully do so he pushed you onto his bed. Quickly you moved from your stomach to your back, creeping backwards on the bed as he drew nearer, the rope drawn taut between his hands. Kneeling on the bed with his head held high above yours, he was an opposite from the lovesick King you had first met.

He tied your wrists to the bedpost and you let him. He pulled the knots so tight and intricate there was no hope you could get out without breaking the rope, and you let him.

"I can keep you safe here," he murmured, lodged between your legs with his lips against your temple. Your heart stormed hell in your chest. "You will stay here. Any attempt on your behalf to leave and I will have to punish you. Understand?"

"Then I am a prisoner," you said, your voice hoarse and broken.

"You are what you make yourself," he said in a much more stern tone, looking down at you with knowing, wary eyes. "If it is a prisoner, then so be it. But you will be, throughout all actions and situations, mine."

"I..."

"You belong to me."

[nxrthmizu]

hey babe! idk if u take this kind of requests, im terribly sorry if u dont, i didnt saw anything bout it so im sorry once again. im also sorry if this so happens to trigger u or make u uncomfortable, but if u could perhaps make suna and osamu's reaction to having an insecure s/o? like, she was bullied when younger bc of her weight, so she avoids mirrors, tries dangerous diets and overexercises herself trying to feel better? i had to go to the hospital bc of that and could really use some comfort

»»——⍟——««

request | suna and osamu with a s/o who’s insecure about their weight

warning(s) | self-insecurity, overexerting 

words | 1.3k

author’s note | Hey Ana! (It’s been a while, watch me drop into your inbox later >:)) Of course I’ll write this, feel free to dm me if you need someone to talk to okay? I hope you’re feeling better now, remember that your body loves you, so love your body too, okay? <3 mwah 

»»——⍟——««

↬ suna rintarou 

the first time he brought you to his apartment, he noticed how you eyed the reflective surfaces like they were a threat 

you avoided the windows and the one floor-length mirror he has in his room 

he didn’t understand why you hated reflective surfaces so much, but the next time you were over at his apartment, he had installed curtains and he hid his mirror inside the closet 

when he brought you to a family gathering, he noticed how you flinched when some of his aunts made comments about your weight (he didn’t like them much either, but after seeing how much they affected you he swore he was going to tell them ‘Hi Aunty, you still look pretty young for 75!’ his aunts are only 40-50 years old.) 

his aunts eyed you and told you ‘Wow ah girl, you gained some weight since the last time I saw you! Come come, I introduce you to this weight-loss drink, my friend sells it so you can get it for cheaper price!’ 

the whole time suna was narrowing his eyes and thinking to himself that you didn’t need the stupid weight-loss drink because he thinks you’re perfect the way you are 

he’ll be darned if he let them talk to you let that, especially since you look even more uncomfortable by the passing moment 

so he interrupts, putting his arm around your waist ‘Wow Aunty, your skin still looks pretty clear, especially since you’re already 70!’ 

they definitely looked offended but he continued, ignoring them ‘And this weight-loss drink that your friend is selling... Are you drinking it? Because if so...’ he looked them up and down ‘It doesn’t look very effective.’ 

you’re confused, but you let him do what he wants 

your man totally tore down his aunts, no mercy at all 

when he was finished, he smiled sweetly at them, told them the two of you needed to get going, and high-tailed out of the family event he didn’t really want to be at anyway 

his younger sister covered for the both of you, saying that one of suna’s friends had an emergency and the two of you needed to leave to help his friend 

after he brought back to his home, he dragged you into the bedroom, plopped you on the bed, and asked you to be honest with him 

you admitted that you were bullied when you were young, and that throughout your teenage years you were constantly picked at by family members/classmates about your weight 

you also told him that’s why you avoid mirrors and reflective surfaces, and that you tried dangerous diets and overexercised to the point you collapsed 

the whole time he was getting even angrier but he tried not to let it show because damn it he loves you so much why can’t you love yourself too???

proceeded to drag out the floor length mirror and pointed to every part of your body and explained what he liked about it 

‘your arms. I like how they feel when you wrap them around me for a hug’ ‘your stomach is always so warm and I love when you let me lie on your stomach’ ‘your thighs are so cute and they feel nice when they’re tangled with my legs’ 

suna would set an alarm on his phone to remind him to tell you he loves your body every day 

he also set up a healthy diet for you, and if you want to go back to exercising he would join you and make sure you don’t overexert yourself 

this man would appoint himself as your personal trainer, he’ll go on jogs with you every morning, would help you with your sit ups, will massage your sore muscles after a workout 

10/10 the most supportive athlete boyfriend ever 

↬ miya osamu 

he expresses his love for you in onigiris, so imagine his surprise when you decline his newest salmon onigiri recipe 

‘what’s wrong?’ immediately drops everything, has a mini crisis because do you not love him anymore??? did you find someone who makes better onigiris??? 

you shake him off, tell him it’s nothing, that you’re just not hungry 

do you take him for  idiot because nope he’s not convinced, not at all 

but you didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it so he lets it be, he won’t push you if you don’t want to tell him 

osamu started questioning his cooking skills because you’ve been eating less, you’ve been telling him you have no appetite 

please tell him it’s not his fault this man is panicking 

it went to the point where he called atsumu for help because he’s desperate 

atsumu listened to him (without interrupting, what a miracle) and these two clueless brothers tried to piece together what’s wrong 

they did not come up with a conclusion lmao 

it isn’t until the two of you went to eat dinner with your family that he realises what the problem was the whole time 

your cousin, who’s a model, eyes you and tells you you’ve gotten fatter, you should probably get on a diet again

he doesn’t miss the way you flinch visibly 

your mother snapped at your cousin, saying that as long as you’re healthy it’s fine 

your brother/father told you to ignore your cousin and put some food in your plate 

but you didn’t touch your food after that, you just smiled weakly and said you weren’t hungry- That was the point that he realised that his cooking wasn’t the problem 

the drive home is quiet, because you’re just staring outside the window with this blank expression 

the first thing he does when he gets home is make you an onigiri and a cup of tea, because you didn’t eat much and he will make sure you at least get something in your stomach 

he had that expression that said ‘if you don’t eat I will feed you this one mouthful at a time’ 

so you ate until he was satisfied 

he sat down on the couch next to you and made you look at him 

‘you are amazing the way you are, I love your body just like I love every other part about you’ he told you with a very determined expression ‘I’ll find a way to make my onigiris with less calories as long you promise me you’ll eat enough’ 

‘I don’t know what happened to you when you were younger, but all I know is that your cousin is an idiot. you shouldn’t go on a diet, instead you should eat healthily. I’ll research what foods are good for you and I’ll come up with new recipes.’ 

you were ready to cry because how much more romantic can he get, making new recipes just for you 

you told him that you were bullied for your weight when you were younger, and that you tried dangerous diets and once overexercised until you collapsed and had to go to the hospital 

not gonna lie, this man was ready to hunt down your cousin and murder someone 

‘if you ask me, you look pretty healthy, but if you want to exercise we could do it together, I used to play volleyball in high school after all- And I’ll look up on foods that will help you with your weight’ 

he made you promise him that you wouldn’t keep saying you weren’t hungry and that you would eat 

was the human version of a golden retriever puppy when you tried his new, less-calorie salmon onigiri :) tell him it’s delicious, he’ll love you forever 

»»——⍟——««

I hope this was satisfactory! Like I said before, feel free to dm me if you need to talk okay? Also I’ll send some extra comfort your way later <3 mwah take care of yourself! 

»»——⍟——««

[astralglam]

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

1. What does your muse smell like?

without soap or perfume, 683 smells bizarrely sterile, chemical-ish, like a dentist’s office, bleach or cleaning supplies.  like hand sanitizer that kills 99.9% of germs.  they have that faint smell of powdery clean cosmetics, only because they wear so much foundation, face powder and setting spray.  humans like things that smell less artificial, so 683 takes to using cheap perfume (think a teenager who just learned to douse themselves with axe or bath and bodyworks spray), which is artificial in a slightly more palatable way.  their clothes (which are almost all second hand) have that mothball-musty smell of a thrifted dress that hasn’t been washed yet, like an old book.    

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

cold, frigid and icy, almost like a mannequin’s if you left the mannequin in the freezer. their skin is tight over their tendons and fingers, with almost waxy, plasticy skin stretched over their joints and knuckles, which makes them seem very fragile.  sometimes their palms are uncannily clammy.  their skin on their palms isn’t rough or calloused but they’re starting to get scars on their fingertips from their voyages into the realm of string instruments.  they used to have very neat, clean and unpainted nails, but nowadays, they have divots and cracks because 683 is clumsy with the strings.  

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

683 is often at the mercy of when their friends will decide to cook for them/buy them food.  they don’t have any cooking skills and can barely wash and cut an apple (this isn’t because they’re stupid, on atomina they were used to communal dining with a designated set of people who cooked for everyone in their unit).  683 is naturally accustomed to eating plant matter and (unlike us humans) has a way better digestive system for breaking down cellulose and gets a lot more out of their vegetarian diet than you might expect (two stomachs aint for nothin).  left to their own devices they just eat Whatever (orange? handfuls of spinach, unwashed, pesticides dont hurt them.  microwave a tomato and watch it explode.  brave cutting open an avocado and just eating it with a spoon).  dinner is when priscilla either buys him take out or sid cooks something for him (and sid is an amazing cook!!!).  sid isn’t vegetarian, but his family is, so he knows how to make all kinds of dishes perfect for 683 -- substitute the dairy for nondiary alternatives and 683′s getting matter paneer (with tofu instead), malai kofta (with coconut milk), and aloo gobi (no butter), all sorts of things !!! 

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

sort of.  683′s voice, by itself, is nasally and weird and a little grating, but their devotion to music lets them make the most out of their “strange” voice and almost use it to their benefit to sound unique, different, super far out !11!11111  their lyrics, instrumentals and emotion combined is what makes them a talented musician rather than just a good quality voice.  so while they might not have a very pretty voice, they’re still a skilled singer due to their delivery.  

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

im assuming this is about bad (physical) habits rather than personality deficiencies (of which 683 has many).  683 stares, like, really just stares at people with reckless abandon, they havent figured out it’s rude.  they arent good at even pretending to listen so if they’re disinterested in what you have to say, they’ll look elsewhere, pick at their nails, mumble or interrupt you.  always finds a way to make the conversation about themself.  very disorganized and messy, has a hard time taking care of objects even if they value them (ex. dropping his guitar, misplacing jewelry, yanking a belt off and breaking it).  definitely self pities and has no problem trying to guilt you for everything and anything.  is a pretty frequent smoker, but is polite enough not to smoke if you ask him not to.  

683 is always a little nervous so their nervous ticks are just their baseline state of being (wringing hands, stammering, talking really fast, making insane gestures all around you but being too afraid to touch you, etc)

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

683 looks very put together at all times -- not necessarily polished or professional, but very intentional, in that you can tell they definitely made a conscious choice to dress the way they do.  he wore the same dumb uniform every day for the first 20 years of his life, so he’s very excited to try new clothing options.  

more femme-ish clothing preferences go to boxy, sleeveless a-line dresses, miniskirts, bright floral patterns, big plastic earrings, headbands, scarves, etc.  they like clunky platforms and prefer to wear boots.  very 60s mod and colorblocked.  she loves bright eyeshadow but tends to go for more neutral lipstick.  can never figure out what to do with her hair so she usually leaves it down or does a half-up half-down bun kinda deal.  

more masc clothing preferences are bell bottoms, button ups with butterfly collars, paisley print, turtlenecks and fringe jackets, etc. earthy tones and weird nasty olive green.  very late 60s / early 70s. prog rock flavor or glam rock flavor.  never got into the disco style only because he cant pull it off because he’s so scrawny and twitchy and has no chest hair to impress the ladies.    

one thing about 683 is that he hates tight long sleeves and goes insane if he has to wear them.  his uniform was sleeveless, so even short sleeves feel really weird and horrible on his arms.  prefers sleeveless, can do with short sleeves, 3/4ths sleeve or loose long sleeve, really tries to avoid tight/constricting long sleeves.  

i have a pinterest board of potential fits for him although i havent updated it because i barely know how to use pinterest.

7. Is your muse affectionate?  How much?  How so?

to most people, not really, he’s kind of a weird cagey asshole.  oscillates between fascinated with physical touch (suddenly wanting to hug his friends or snuggle with them or grabbing strangers when he’s trying to talk to them) to despising contact (cringes if you touch his hand when you pass him a cup).  he didnt grown up with a culture very big on it, so he isn’t sure if he likes it or not yet.  

to people he does care about, he tends to take his friends for granted but overperform affection for those he has romantic interest in.  not that he doesnt also dearly love and adore his friends, he’s just not the best at expressing his care for them other than random bursts of kindness and dissolving back into his weird normal self.  his understanding of romance has come from a very commercial, media-influenced place (he learns about it through television, novels and commercials, it’s not really inherent to his species) so he thinks romance is about buying flowers, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes for three hours, etc. if he has romantic interest in you, he will constantly over and over again tell you how much he likes you and your company and you are soooo funny hahahhahhfhh, and will be unusually touchy (clings to your arm, sits RIGHT next to you, drops his head on your shoulder, etc).  

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

683 didnt know what blankets were until he came to earth (or deep space nine) !!! his old room was perfectly temperature controlled and he already has a lower natural body temperature, so there was no need for blankets at all.  human beds with big pillows and blankets are THE COOLEST, so he either curls up underneath a blanket with only the top of his head poking out or he sprawls out like a starfish to take advantage of as many pillows as possible.  his special move is to roll up in the blanket like some kind of little alien lumpia.  

he’s a fitful sleeper so if you sleep in the same bed as him, he’ll punch you or kick you on accident.  he does appreciate company, though, and will also plaster himself up against you and leech your body heat with his weird cold body.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

depends.  they have a very average speaking voice and aren’t necessarily very loud (plus platforms dull footsteps), but if they were excited, they might raise their voice or yell or exclaim something.  and then they’re very shrill, so yes, you would hear her.  

Tagged by:  @sampati im sorry i took like a week it was really fun i love to type letters and words on the computer Tagging: @dynaura or @pataparty (for whoever you want) / @phantombs / @ofgentleresolve (for lamon? or anyone you want, really!!) / @bystcrdust / @kyrieleisen / @baelends / @bup1957

[bakuraryxu]

talking about meds and stuff unsolicited opinions (especially from [redacted] people!!!!) are NOT welcome unless its to tell me how cool i am for doing stuff about my health

like.... its not a magic weight loss drug. its just like.... accelerating everything i already do. watching my diet is still boring but its easier now. i dont feel like im missing out quite so much. its like the obsessive part of my brain doesnt latch onto chocolate and junk food and sweets like it did before where it felt like my throat was cut if i didnt have something yummy right then and there. ive had a block of choccies in the cupboard for a week bc im only eating a few squares every other day because it tastes good. not because i feel like i need it.

exercising is easier too. it used to drain me and leave me more fatigued than usual. i see an exercise physiologist who promised me regular exercise would raise my base level of energy and he was a FUCKING liar. not on purpose or anything, my stupid idiot brain and body just refused to feel anything other than fatigue and trepidation at the thought of working out.

its like the perfect balance between appetite reduction and giving energy. im waking up around 6am and going for walks. its so easy to avoid snacks, a tiny amount of chocolate satisfies me, i havent had any intense cravings ....yet.... and god willing, i wont. its been 6 days and the first couple days i didnt feel anything, just dizzy and lightheaded and cranky. i get to watch the sunrise bc i get up so early. i walk my dog around a busy neighbourhood lake and i socialise with strangers who are also out walking their dogs and its great.

Before my biggest issue was my never-ending appetite. it didnt matter how much i ate, or how well (i see a nutritionist he assured me my nutrition is pretty good), i was constantly hungry. now im not. its not total appetite suppression for me i describe it more like a dampening effect. i get kinda hungry, i go eat a salad or whatever the fuck, and im satisfied for a couple hours. like on god. this is so ALIEN for me. and its great! i still drink coffee but because i like the taste, not because i feel like ill die without the caffeine boost.

this legal speed stuff is insane i totally get why people do meth now like ive thoguht abt it in the past bc the idea of not sleeping for days is so crazy but anyway.

its phentermine not amphetamines but anyway im loving it lmaoooooo like i feel normal. i feel so normal its insane. i can wake up and feel normal and i have energy, not even like. excessive. i just HAVE energy, which i never really had before? the fatigue fucking sucked the life out of me but atm im in a good place like mentally and getting there physically. im sore all over from working out, whcih ive done almost every day this week. im being social. im thriving. im losing weight. hopefully im building lean muscle mass too.

wish i took a before photo. im still extremely overweight but i know im slimming down and i feel great and cute and good looking. to reach a healthy weight i have like. so any kgs to go .... but u know. i dont know how much i believe these ideal weight bmi things, like i just cnanot conceptualise what i would look like if i was that slim??? and i havent weighed that much since i was a child. we’ll see what happens. this week was pretty easy all things considered, i hope i can keep it up.

so far my biggest side effect complaints are cotton mouth and irritability (see gif for example). its not a constant thing but i do think im more aggressive than usual? im ready to start biting people. oh also the insomnia i guess but these three things... could be for any reason. not just the drugs. its impossible to say. im not unfamiliar with dry mouth and trouble sleeping from antidepressants ive taken in the past lol.

[sacred-pro-fiction]

Ugh same on the finding casual weigjt/diet talk triggering or at the very least depressing. Ii started watching Binging with Babish for Sola after all the crap with Bon Appetit went down (for those that dont know: they straight up refused to pay woc for their videos and recipes and constantly type casted them and when everyone quit, purposely looked for other woc to replace them to keep up a diversity image). The main host will make food from tv and movies.

Occasionally he'll add something about not being able to eat all of whatever/his diet suffering and it just. Makes me sad so I never watch to the end. He doesn't do that in episodes Sola is in (which are mainly focused on culinary challenges to show her skill) but yeah. It's super noticable when binge watching things too and it's so frequent in cooking stuff which I like because I cant cook and have executive dysfunction so something getting inspriation from watching cooking stuff is needed

I almost fell into the diet trap a year or so ago, and Im so glad I broke out of it within a few months. Even when you know that shit is making you miserable and not really good its like, you become convinced that you're the exception.

Like "yes some people are naturally fat and can be healthy while fat and are beautiful and worthy of respect regardless of if they're healthy or not..... but MY fat isn't natural, it must be a result of laziness or bad eating habits." Its such a trap. I've been closer to underweight my whole life so when I started putting on chub, instead of thinking it was a result of HRT/My Depression Lifting/Natural Body Changes as I age, I was like, clearly I must be doing something wrong. It really made me realize I only saw being fat as acceptable when you couldn't help it.

And maybe I was overeating but you know what? I was way healthier than when I was 10-20 pounds lighter and ended up in the fucking emergency room from DKA. Im glad i stopped dieting before i got diagnosed tho, cant imagine how miserable i wouldve been to spend my last diabetic-free months dieting for no damn reason

[flowerslightning]

Wanna be a Game Character?

And now, who's up for a physical torture??

Inspired from Saitama's 100 days challenge, since this will only be for ' 7 ' weeks only, Im gonna name this workout challenge as "TIFA LOCKHART WORKOUT".

I like Lightning Farron more, but she has a God-like power. While Tifa is an ordinary girl who train her body to be in the same level as the hero. So I use her name for this workout. Besides, I want to have what she has - the agility, power and speed.

I.. Have.. No.. Idea.. My weight .. Has .. Increased.. A lot 😂😂😂 no wonder why I feel my body is heavier than usual. I didnt train a muscle during the quarantine and the last time I trained seriously with my coach was in January and then my intern shift interrupted most of my training seasons.

I got scolded by my coach for being weak and unmotivated today 😂😂 and today was be the last time I saw him bfore moving 500km away from my hometown bcause of this intern for 7 weeks. I need to get back to my usual figure before meeting him again.

Disclaimer : I'm not a coach nor someone who has knowledge in nutrition. I once used this method to reduce 8 kg in a very short amount of time for my sparring tournament and it worked (but previously the workout was a lot more intense than this). And my weight maintained for several years, not until my sleeping schedule got crazy from the past 6 months and I have to stay indoors 24hrs and eat midnight snacks almost everyday and 0 hrs of exercise for 3 months straight.

Hah-hah.

★Tifa Lockhart Workout★

Tifa has light build, superb strength, slim but fit figure, high agility and speed. She has abs but not the 6 pack type and her female appeal still maintained. A body where lots of women admire. While genetic does play a huge role in a person's body, but I believe Tifa does not have restricted diet but still train herself intensely. This workout should be light and easy to follow (well at least for me it is easy).

So, overall, the main objective is to regain power and speed. Which I assume I can achieve this by loosing weight and increase muscle endurance through out the 7 weeks self train. I will focus more on full body workout which involves cardio and strength exercises. [Pls note that I hate dumbbells and dislike gym. I like cardio and love pushups and plank]. So, this workout is really simple but effective (for me) and may torture ur mental a bit. It doesnt need equipment (but u need a jump rope)

★ Ready to go? Lets check the schedule first

F - Fasting | INT F - Intermittent Fasting

I will give myself 2 days rest to allow my body to heal. I have extra time doing the weekends, so I will push myself to do more workout. Doing the selected days, I will try to spend at least 2 hrs for weekdays and weekends at least 3 hrs.

★ Move on to the diet

I'm not a foodie person. So I can survive a day without eating heavy meal while still being active. I choose Mon and Thu to fast, and Tue, Wed, Sat for intermittent fasting. Fri and Sun are my super 👻 cheat days. And dont forget to drink ur water 3L/day. I like to add a few slices of lemon in to my plain water for no proper reason. I just like to watch the lemon floating inside my bottle 😂

Rice is our main dish and we often have it during breakfast, lunch and dinner. Rice is a form of high carbs, so Im gonna cut it completely from my diet, along with bar chocolates, sweet drinks, candies while still eating breads and cookies, less intake of salty snack and more in protein and fruits. And the rest, Im gonna eat it like usual but in smaller portion- noodle, kuey teow, oden, mee, oatmeal, etc.. Will be away from home for 7 weeks though, I'm a cheapstake to myself so I dont really spend money on food 😂

And i dont take any extra supplement. I hate drugs..

★ And here's what the activity will look like

Dont forget to do warm up! We usually rope jump for half an hour before stretching.

Since my only problem is my weight increased and I feel my muscle endurance reduced, I will immediately start at Level 3, then jump to Level 5 and then to Level 10. Im not an expert though, I just like to push myself to my limit and see how far I can still proceed.

If ure new to any type of exercise, pls try to do this activity level by level. Increase ur level every 2 weeks. Eg - Level 1 rpt 10x push up, 10 mins rope jumping, 1km jogging for the first 2 weeks | Level 2 rpt 20x push up, 20 mins rope jumping, 2km joggin for the next 2 weeks | Level 3 - and so on. Make sure to have 5-3mins rest before doing the next activity.

Agility workout aint fun without a partner, for me, at least. But, yeah, none of my female intern friends like sweat 🙃 so I have to train agility.all.by.my.self. (or probably will skip it and change to strength workout) Hmmm

Friendly reminder : Do it slowly but constantly. If u cant finish the 10x burpees, u can rest 2-3 mins every 5x. No need to push ur self too hard. Unless if ure stubborn like me, then have it ur way. Do this at ur own risk.

As a summary to this challenge ;

Right now, I am 166cm tall and 56kg. Perfect BMI u may say, but I feel heavy, unlike when I was only 54-52kg. Besides, I'm in class B sparring tournament. Cant let my weight be more than 54kg and less than 50

☆ Mission : Reduce weight - From 56kg to 51kg

☆ Objective : Regain strength, speed and muscle endurance

☆ Workout focuses : Full body workout - Cardio + Strength

☆ Time limitation : 7 Weeks

Keep in mind that this is not about trying to be like Tifa Lockhart, but instead, u may have abs and lean muscle like her through this workout (depends on ur genetic, routine and diet). If u want to reduce weight and bcome light like how I want it to be, then this simple exercise is for u.

Alright, that's it. Feel free to join my 7 weeks challenge ! If u participate in this challenge, do tell me ur result and ur experience. I'm eager to listen to ur story 😆😆

I will be in hiatus for 7 weeks straight. Was told the internet line at the village clinic is horrible. So, will come back on 23rd August. See ya guy later ! 🤗

[bananonbinary]

if you have any more thoughts on martin having an eating disorder, i'd like to hear em (if u don't/ don't wanna share, that's ok!)

first off: at the risk of tmi, im drawing a little on personal experience and ive never been diagnosed beyond “that’s really not healthy and we need to fix it,” so i dont actually know what disorder this is, specifically.

anyway.

martin does in fact drink a lot of the tea he makes, because it helps to have *something* in his stomach, and he doesnt want people to worry about him not eating. basically any time he feels hungry he’ll go and make himself some tea instead.

he also NEVER eats from communal eating spaces like the office breakroom because if u think his mother didnt yell at him for snacking at home or eating food that wasn’t “his,” you are wrong. he knows that looks weird tho so sometimes when other people are already eating (it’s fine if someone else starts, right?) he’ll give himself permission to grab like a banana he brought from home or something.

he DOES usually eat meals if other people are there to see (which, if hes around they usually are, just cause he doesnt eat well doesnt mean he wont bug everyone else about it), its just like. stuff that he feels its “acceptable” for a fat person to eat in public so its usually a small sandwich or some shit. never takeout or frozen if he can help it, altho he’ll often go for that at home for money reasons.

he used to go through cycles of restriction and binging, but once he started living in the archives he was around other people too much and was pretty much just restricting all the time. this...unfortunately didnt really ever let up, because everything just kept getting worse.

obviously, the whole prentiss situation made things even harder on him. a lot of his go-to food became triggers, so his already poor diet became really unbalanced.

things were actually the worst for him when not!sasha was around, because she (and jon’s breakdowns) made him paranoid that people would KNOW, people would SEE (he’s not even sure what, but they WOULD) and he pretty much didnt eat at all at work.

this fed into all the shit in season 4 because its actually incredibly lonely to constantly be watching other people’s self-care habits and know that no one’s noticed your own. ironically, he had the chance to eat a bit better around then, because no one was around to see, but the constant dissociation just made it easier to ignore so it wasnt really better or worse in the end.

jon kinda noticed all this early on? especially when he was stalking everyone lmao. but like. his own issues with eating properly and his general...everything at the time made him feel like it wasnt really his place to say anything.

by the scottish honeymoon tho he’s been on the receiving end of martin’s caretaking so many times that he basically just copies that to bully martin into actually eating the proper amount. theres kind of a running competition of who can outdo the other with “i made an elaborate meal for the two of us this evening, now you’re OBLIGATED to eat something, you bastard.” also just general turning concern back on the other person. its all very sweet and gay.

jon genuinely finding martin beautiful and lovable and helping him with his self-esteem issues also helps a lot.

its weird, because you’d think trying to tackle a decades-long issue on top of all the other bullshit they’ve been through would make things hard, but Martin is basically having to relearn how to be a person and actually sit in his body again anyway, after the Lonely, so this just feels like the natural time for recovery. when he’s already asking himself “am i sad, am i distressed, am i cold,” its easy enough to add “am i hungry” to his (and jon’s) check-ins.

after the eyepocalypse, they obviously dont need to eat anymore, but jon doesn’t want to undo all martin’s progress and reassures him that he’s always allowed to eat just because he wants to, so he still makes an effort to scrounge up small things as theyre walking. a little package of cookies, a bag of chips, a loaf of bread one time. its not like expiration dates mean anything anymore, and they could both really use the small comfort of pretending to be human for a bit.