#at least I have some motivation to do the workout on my own

[coachs-locker-room]

I've discovered recently that I am severely enthralled by my jock boyfriend's stench. His socks, underwear, shoes, everything. It's just so...alluring. Do you think you could help me embrace this newfound obsession further by making him an even stinkier thick sweaty bear for me to serve at his feet?

A good jockboy should be used to working up a sweat - but for what you need, he will require a little more than some gym motivation. With the right... recalibration, I am sure that your boyfriend's love for his own musk will not only match yours but, it bring the new dynamic to your relationship that you crave.

After taking some of Coach's extra classes - complete with a new diet and protein shake supplement from MASS MONSTA - your jock boyfriend not only discovered his strength and bodymass had increased, but whenever he took a whiff of his sweat-dreanched self he became unable to resist the call of his musk.

Each day, getting more and more potent, the increased pheromones and testosterone kept mixing and coursing through his body. His increased mass and strength only adding to the sweat production.

You might have considered him more of a dominant personality before - at least compared to yourself - but after a week of his new routine, you saw first-hand what a beast he could become when he came back from the gym.

Once he grabbed you by the neck and pushed you into his ripe pit, smelling from the source, your mind would switch off entirely to follow his commands without question.

Within the month, he became not only unrecognisable but truly irresistible. Both to you, to himself, and to anyone who got a hit of his powerful musk. The best part, of course, was that he had no need to shower off before he arrived home. After receiving his pictures, you'd be there, waiting for his return, ready to serve him - however he needed.

The routine became more and more intense - where finishing a workout, stripping out of his sweat-drenched kit and setting up the camera to send a progress picture would cause the whole locker room to stare with desire in their eyes. The alpha confidence was contagious to some and alluring to others, but you were always there on hand to make sure he got what he needed.

Now - go and be a good boy and get on your knees.

You don't want to keep him waiting, do you?

—

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[being-addie]

Morning Routines

We're all looking at those Instagram influencers who somehow manage to wake up at 5 am, do meditation, journal, do a 15-step Korean skincare routine, and go to the gym. And then they make a green smoothie and avocado toast, get dressed in a Chanel outfit and then sit at their fancy desk with a vanilla latte and a croissant.

This is not realistic. You probably already know that, but it likely won't stop you from trying to change your routine bit by bit to look a little like theirs. That didn't stop me, at least.

But now I've come to realise that no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to have a routine like the ones I see online. Because it doesn't exist. It's all curated for aesthetic appeal and generates a sense of false productivity in the watcher's brain. We feel motivated looking at those videos and never get around to changing our own life because we're too busy living vicariously through our phones.

Here's some things you should add to your morning routine, not to be fancy, but to feel better. This is coming from someone who's tried the unrealistic routines, and I now incorporate all of these into my routine. You can skip or add things according to your schedule.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H: Do your body a favour and loosen up your muscles. Nothing better than having a good stretch that wakes your body up.

Drink water: Before you put anything in your system, drink water. Not coffee, not tea. Plain warm water. And I don't mean lemon water. Some people might not agree, but lemon water strips your teeth of the enamel. It also is acidic, so all that bullshit they talk about it being "alkaline and pH balancing" is nonsense. Warm water is the way to go.

Make your bed: A clean bed should be the first thing you do after you wake up. At the end of the day, you'll thank yourself because it will be clean, and fresh and you can fall into bed immediately.

Hygiene: Wash your face to get rid of crusty eyes and sleep. Do a basic skincare routine (cleanser, moisturizer) so you'll feel fresher. Brush your teeth and hair.

Move your body: It doesn't matter what you do, even if it's for 15 minutes. Go for a walk, do a Zumba workout, or squeeze in a HIIT session. You can find lots of tutorials on YouTube (Caroline Girvan, growingannanas, Chloe Ting). Either way, working out will help you feel more motivated and happier. It's the endorphins.

Clean yourself: Set aside some time for showering, slathering on lotion, and doing your (real) skincare and makeup routine. Pick an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

Eat something: ALWAYS make some food. Your body has been famished for hours on end, give it some fuel. Make a healthy breakfast, or prep one the night before. If you don't get very hungry in the mornings, have a banana, and pack a mid-morning snack beforehand so you don't reach for chips.

Do 3 things: Make a to-do list of everything you need to do today. Don't overwhelm yourself. Then, knock off 3 easy tasks from the list that you can do quickly. You'll be filled with a sense of motivation, and it'll be easier for you to complete your list. It can be chores, it could be some assigned reading. Just get it done.

Gratitude or prayer: You don't need to sit for 15 minutes to practice gratitude. You can think of things your thankful for on the way to school or work or practice deep breathing/say a small prayer on the subway or bus. You don't HAVE to do it, but it definitely makes you realise how much you have in life and appreciate it more.

Kindness: Start your day with kindness. Compliment your barista, smile at the old lady on the street, pet the stray cat. There's so much love in the world, and you have so much love inside you, and it's beautiful to be a part of it.

No longer will I be stuck in a rut. I cannot be confined to being a bitter, unhealthy person when I know there's a smiling, healthy, happy version of me in the future. Deep breaths. You'll get there babe.

<3

[elenadoeslife]

Thriving Thirties - September goals

Working on the house and moving took a lot of my time and energy, but we're ready to continue this fitness journey, baby!

Nutrition & movement (daily/weekly goals)

Eat 5-6 small, protein focussed meals;

Take my vitamins every single day;

Drink at least 1,5L of water;

Go for a walk 3 times a week;

Do yoga/stretching at least twice a week;

Look into home workouts that seem fun and doable.

I've made a list of bigger goals I'm working towards. These aren't really weight related, but they do reflect my physical progress in other ways. I'll be working towards these goals until my birthday in February :)

NSV (long term goals)

Relieve/get rid of the nerve pain in my back;

Have control over my bowel movements;

Being able to walk without my legs chafing;

Being able to cross my legs comfortably;

Being able to wear size M/L comfortably;

Being able to wear my old rings again;

Find myself a pair of jeans that fits right;

Start weightlifting and building muscle;

Being able to do 5-10 pushups;

Fall asleep in under 30 minutes;

Improve quality of sleep.

I don't own a scale (mental health reasons) so I'll only be able to weigh in when I visit my parents every 3-4 weeks. In order to stay motivated I do need to track my progress in some way, so I've decided to take my measurements. I also took some pictures and made a video of what I look like now, so I have something to compare it to a couple of months from now.

Let's get this show back on the road, shall we? 💫

[allgoldenelite]

okay so here's my summary of ibushi's latest 2 videos (here and here) from his youtube channel

pls make sure to read this at your own discretion. it's honest, but not exactly cheerful.

this summary is not entirely chronological; i've grouped some points together for cohesion

the vids were taken about 2 weeks after marufuji vs ibushi was announced, so around 12/17 ish (i'm just bringing this up bc i saw some confusion bc ibushi was reported by noah to be in the us rn until at least the 27th)

ibushi starts out the 1st vid by saying how completely different american and japanese wrestling are; the example he uses are cheers, [in aew] whenver anyone makes their entrance the crowd is chanting their name

in japan it has a different quality to it; [i assume he's talking about coming out at the noah show to challenge marufuji here] it's strange to him when he can only hear his theme and there's neither boos nor cheers, but he was glad it got a reaction

as for how he's doing physically: says he'll be frank: his left ankle and the back of his right hand (there's a visible dent on one side of the back of his hand and he says he doesn't have much grip strength there but for powerbombs and germans he grabs his wrist with his left hand so he can still do those) are fractured and his shoulder isn't healed cause he never got surgery for it

the ankle is the worst out of the 3, he can't jump or do highflying and walking 400 m (0.25 miles) is his limit, even walking around everyday is pretty rough

he's been able to benchpress 88 lbs now, with 200 as a one time thing, but he can't do much actual wrestling match practice, worries about what he can do; sums it up as that physically things aren't really on the up and up at all

but he believes marufuji is going through the same thing [being hurt in a lot of different places] and that the match won't be bad because of that; he believes it will be good precisely bc of the shape they are in, the injuries they've sustained

as he's said in the past, he doesn't care about what place he is on the card even tho ppl care a lot about match order, but he has the opportunity of being in the main with marufuji, so [he'll make the most out of it]

the ring remains a place for him to express himself, unable to highfly or injured as he may be, that's part of it too

he could go out there and be like "no i'm recovering i'm practicing hard everything's going swell" but that wouldn't change the fact that it's not true

he's doing what he can do get better, but operating within the limits of his body and how he can workout

even so, he won't give up and expresses confidence, [he seems motivated for the match and to go through with all of this], he's been doing this for 20 years and nothing scares him anymore

he says his instinct/6th sense for wrestling isn't as sharp [anymore] either since he doesn't really wrestle outside of aew these days, and again japanese and american wrestling are completely different and he's matching himself to wherever he wrestles, so he will do the same for the noah match

as long as it's getting a reaction out of ppl, he's happy; as long as he's getting something out of it he's happy, there's no right or wrong here for him

he's not nervous for the match at all, just hopes he can put himself out there in his purest form, so that ppl can decide for themselves what it is he represents for them/how they experience them

the video ends with him saying that he doesn't wanna be gloom, but if something unfortunate happens [i interpret this to mean another injury] this will be his last [match]

[he also then says make sure to watch his matches (since you won't know which one will be the last), and while i don't think he's lying with the sentiment here at all, my suggestion would be to take this as it is for now but not despair too hard about it]

the 2nd vid is mostly a recap of him seconding a kickboxer he trains for his match at korakuen hall on 12/17, interspliced with more footage from ibushi talking in the secret base

just as the fictitious "ibushi pro wrestling research institute" represents his status as a freelancer and a means by which he express himself in his purest form to ppl, it's also a means by which he can take on ppl under his wing

[ibushi has talked on twitter before how he has several trainees who are former/current kickboxers or MMA fighters wishing to become pro wrestlers] he thinks more of them will make their debut in the future; he's not doing this to boast that he's the one training them, it just naturally happened this way

even tho the ipwri is not actually a promotion, [ppl he's training and ibushi himself] get announced/lower third-ed as being from there, so it has established itself in the world

[there's a backstage scene here of ibushi talking to machida (machida lost the match) and altho there isn't much to tl (it's just ibushi basically giving him a pep talk), i still think it's worth checking out, it's very sweet]

lastly he says the institute is taking applications and as long as your feelings/motivations come across, he's happy to read them, even tho there are already too many ppl showing interest rn

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! One about drawing, another one about Ortho, and then some other TWST ones.

Anonymous asked:

Hello Ryu! I hope you and Katsu are doing well. I wanted to ask you: how do you manage to post daily? what motivates you? I just admire how you manage to post quality content every day, I enjoy everything so much! and another question: how do you fight hand pain? I do draw daily, but I end up with hand/wrist cramps and it's worrying me, what would you recommend? Amazing art as always!

Hi Anon! Thank you so much for your kind words.

I actually talked about our motivation and the ungodly amount of sketches (lol) that I produce here! But in short, I’ve always loved drawing, and I spend the majority of my time drawing. Not everything that we post daily is new stuff: we have a big backlog of sketches, and Katsu helps me to manage it. Since I can focus on drawing and Katsu takes care of posting, it’s actually feels easier.

As for the second question, the most important main thing is PLEASE don’t overwork your hand! The moment you feel wrist cramps, take a break immediately, or if the pain is too much, better stop for the day, even if you really want to continue :( I am lucky to have pretty good stamina when it comes to this, but this is also partially because I stop immediately if I start to feel tired, plus never draw after my lengthy timeslot dedicated to drawing is over.

Here are a couple of more things that could possibly help:

Pay attention to the way you move your arm when you draw. Prioritise moving your elbow and using your entire arm instead of just moving your hand and wrist. Also try not to squeeze your pen too much, as it tends to make muscles tenser, at least in my experience.

Take short breaks every once in a while to stretch and do exercises for your wrist. These work nicely, but I also love to just… not do anything with my hand at all for like 5 minutes, to let muscles relax a bit.

If your muscles are tense after drawing, warming them up also makes it feel better. I just hold my wrist under warm water lol But there are better ways to do it.

Oh, and check if you do something else with your hand that might also put pressure on it during the day. If you use PC, for example, and sit in front of a desk, then your elbow should be on its surface (the reason for that is in my first point of this list), otherwise you strain your wrist muscles with that position. This is just an example, but it might help to find other reasons why your hand can be tired even before you start drawing. If not, that’s also fine! Drawing is hard enough to do that kind of damage on its own.

If nothing helps and you still feel cramps, you should of course talk to your doctor about it. Maybe they���ll have better advice than I do. Please be very careful with your hand, these muscles are not the ones that should feel slightly sore after a workout unlike a bunch of others, this strain (and pain) can do irreversible damage to your hand and should not be treated lightly. It’s better to take frequent breaks and draw later than to lose the ability to draw (and do other everyday things along with it) at all.

Take care of yourself, Anon <3

Anonymous asked:

wow a whole shroudcest ask post!!! kissing each of the askers consensual and platonically on the mouth, i love that y'all in this fandom. also agree, Ortho should use his beams as a treat when not allowed to join mature content that has first years, it makes me really sad for him!! Epel is super small and he gets to join????? sometimes he's even ''aged up'' (and stays short and small, i see that) lmao like what, Ortho can't be aged up too? the double standards are staggering

sometimes i assume he's just hard to draw, it's fair when mecha and armor are difficult for some people and i often see those two in won't draw lists in commissions, but also?? you don't have to draw when writing?? at least in writing, he should show up more, i'm doing my part at least in the orthoreader and orthooc tags on ao3. his crotch being bare is a feature, not a flaw.

(related to this post)

I am so happy and shocked that so many people wrote such long and lovely messages!! Everyone GETS IT…

Yeah, Epel also gets to join all the time, but somehow Ortho isn’t! This absolutely isn’t fair lol He would be super pissed about it.

I agree with you though that it is related to his design. Of course, the majority of people who complain about Ortho don’t even attempt to draw him as they aren’t artists, but I think a lot of aspects of his appearance are somewhat… “off-putting” to them? It feels like it’s a very strong word, but: his height, his “heels”, the waist and crotch parts of his gear, plus he isn’t very manly and ikemen-like, instead his appeal is that he is a cutie and sometimes a “kusogaki” type. This is why some people just don’t like him at all, and some people don’t like him and cover it up by saying “awww nooo he is just a baby, look at him, he is a kid right?”

I am happy you’re providing people with written Ortho-related content, Anon 💪 He would be so proud and grateful!

Anonymous asked:

Your chibi lillia just looks so adorable, he looks so chewable

Hehehe thank youuu!! Please chew on his chibi cheeks.

irregardlessly-tish asked:

Have you seen the new design that was announced? (Trying to keep it vague in case people don't know which character it is, I don't want to ruin the surprise lol) From an artist point of view, what do you think? I was kind of disappointed by it… I'm not sure if it's Yana's design or not, her characters have so much personality but this one looks just… so generic? Love his suit, the glasses are a great touch to represent this character's eyes (orlackthereof) but everything else feels so uninspired in my opinion. I know this is the pretty anime boy villain game but this one is just too much of a pretty anime boy and I hate this fluffy pretty anime boy hair...

I have! And I will spoil it so please don’t read my reply if you don’t want to know who it is lol

To be completely honest, I am not sure what to think yet; I kind of want to see the full design and also to see him in action. He does feel very different from Rollo and Fellow&Gidel, and maybe this is one of the reasons why he might feel underwhelming: those guys have very colourful designs and a lot of accessories, plus somewhat clearer silhouette (Rollo’s hat is iconic, Fellow also has a hat and fox ears, and that makes them very distinct right away), and the new guy… it’s hard to tell yet, but I think it’s kind of difficult to make a skeleton design work on the same level both in terms of his monochrome colour scheme and the fact that he is, in fact, a skeleton-like creature.

I know there are a lot of jokes about Gojo that people make (I am one of those people), and I think that some people aren’t as excited for the new guy because of that (the feeling that we’ve seen him around a lot already, because young!Gojo was everywhere very recently). But I do agree with you: the glasses are indeed a very good touch and a very smart addition design-wise.

I am also personally excited to see Undertaker vibes from him, but that’s personal lol

So yeah, I’m not sure for now. I really want to see more of him before making proper judgment. I absolutely see your point though. I think if he turns out to be a fun character, his design elements will also become fun and enjoyable, just in a different way.

[mocolococoffeesimp]

Hi love your writing so far! Would you be willing to do relationship HCs for Sol? Have a nice day🌸

Sol is one of my least favorite characters, but it doesn’t say a lot since Guilty Gear has such solid characters. I still like him, not just as much as other characters. This was still fun to write, nonetheless.

-He is cocky. Always showing off whatever he can. His muscles? Showing off. His weapon? Showing off. His motorcycle? Showing off.

-Speaking off his motorcycles, he likes to take you around town with it. Or, even just for some normal rides. He likes the wind in his hair, only seeing you smile makes those days even better for him.

-He is somewhat afraid of starting a new relationship after Aria’s death. But, your smile reminded him of her, so he decided to take the risk with this relationship.

-Good luck getting him to listen to anything that isn’t Queen. He loves their music, almost religiously. He will listen to something, that isn’t Queen after the tenth time, you’ve asked to listen for something else.

“Fine, we can listen to something else.”

“Wait, I’m pretty sure I’ve got something in my ear.”

“Keep that up, and it’s back to the Queen.”

-He workouts regularly to keep his gains. Which, in turn means that you’re either his gym partner or the motivational speaker to him. He likes it when you’re there with him. He gets to show off to you, and he gets his workout done. Its a win-win situation. 

-You often forget that he isn’t an idiot. If you ask him about a science stuff, or something that requires couple years of academic research, he will explain it to you. You’re having hard times with physics? He will explain it to you. Your taxes are making your head hurt? He will gladly do the math for you. 

-He has a hard time expressing himself verbally. So, instead of telling you that loves you, he hugs you. His hugs are extremely warm, thanks to his experience with fire magic. 

-He is somewhat of a lazy ass. So, if he doesn’t have anything urgent to do he will laze around. This does to an extent include chores. Which you will urge him to do.

“Sol, can you please do the dishes?”

“Is it urgent?”

“Well no, but..”

“It can wait.”

“I’ll give you kisses.” With that, he leaped off the couch, towards the kitchen. It still amazes you how much you can get him to do, just with a promise of a kiss.

-Brush his hair. He barely takes any care of it, just washing it when he hits the shower. He will wince, a little bit as you brush it for the first time. He will tell you that he doesn’t see a difference in his hair. But, after some time you see him brushing his regularly. You feel very smug that day when you see him doing it by himself. He will occasionally ask you to do it for him.

-Sol both smokes and drinks. You do occasionally join him for a drink, which he appreciates. But, also understand if you don’t want to drink. If you smoke he will offer some of his own cigarettes for you to some. If you don’t smoke he will try to keep it to a minimum around you. And, overall as he knows the stench gets stuck on his clothes, so he doesn’t want to give you a headache over it.

-He activates his dragon install form every now and than when he sleeps. The first time it happened, you got hit by his wings, which caused you to fly off the bed. You aren’t really sure what triggers these form changes when he sleeps. But, you have learned how to deal with it. Which, is to hug him. This either calms him down completely turning off dragon install, or just making him stay still. Either way you get to hug him, which is a win in your book.

[my-perfect-fitness]

Some Tips I've Found Helpful For Working Out With Mental Illness

Because a lot of mental illnesses can rob people of the focus or motivation to go to the gym, there are some tips that I have—in my own personal experience—found helpful for staying active and keeping a semi-consistent workout routine through mental illness.

Having someone you know keeping you on track: Whether you call them a workout buddy, an accountability buddy, or another name, having someone to work out with you, or at the very least, remind you to work out, can give you the push you need to get started.

Investing in a gym membership: Going to the gym is ideal because you're in a space that requires you to do something active, so going to the gym is incredibly helpful. (I recommend planning what you'll do so you don't flounder too much.)

Signing up for classes: Ditto, with the added benefit of having instructions and/or an instructor or trainer to keep you on track.

Finding exercises you can do easily: There are many videos on YouTube for exercises you can do in bed or sitting down. It may be easier to start an exercise knowing it's simple to get ready.

Setting smaller goals: Sometimes, it's daunting to set the expectation of doing a full workout, especially when you're in a low mental state, but you don't have to push yourself to go all the way. If you can only convince yourself to do one repetition of your set instead of two or three, getting one done may motivate you to continue. And failing that, one is better than none.

Ultimately, sometimes we have to force ourselves to do unpleasant things we don't want to do for our health or well-being. But it's crucial to dig into your reasons for wanting to be healthy and pull yourself up to the task regardless instead of waiting to 'feel like it.' And I won't say that exercise is the only tool you need to combat mental illness; far from it. But I believe keeping a consistent exercise schedule improves one's overall mental state. Live well, everyone.

[zeydaan-isabella]

Vanquishing Vanity

Commission for Sreck with story written by them and partially by Vinomath

Eliza always told me I looked great for someone in her thirties. Good for!? Thirty is the new twenty. I know I still look good because I still turn heads to this day. I get compliments on my body from horny desperate bachelors. Eyes are usually being pulled down by the “gravity” of my breasts, as one artist said. Not only that, I have opened my own law firm; Jolyne Guerrero Law. I have come up working my way from being an intern and finally broke out as a prosecutor in order to help my clients.

Guess that is why I caved and made a little work out area in my office. All I did was move some of my office equipment to one corner of my room and set up some dumbbells and a workout ball. I know my job as a lawyer does not require any physicality, but I do like to maintain my figure.

Eliza referred me to a specific work out series she found. Apparently it was ripped from a VHS and converted to audio form. For the best there is no visual for me to look at. Always gives me the sense I am being watched and judged. That happens to me enough in the courtroom, I don’t want that in my own home!

I push play on my tablet.

"Welcome to your new workout obsession. By the time it's over, you'll be ready for any fight." the male voice said. "To begin, we're going to be doing some stretches. We'll start with our legs, simply take a step forward and try to touch the tip of your toes."

Easy enough. I straighten my legs and bend down to touch my toes. They were looking oddly red and pointed. I never painted my toenails, but I would have at least trimmed them. My legs are becoming thicker with my feet following suit. Two of my toes merged together on each foot. I hope it is just me not focusing.

"Alright, stretch time is over. Next, we're going to be getting some cardio going. You will jog in place for five minutes before we move on to the next stage. Don't over-exert yourself, keep a slow tempo."

Running in place, my footsteps are becoming heavier. I know I am going to get complaints from the neighbor downstairs. Looking at my feet again, I notice that not only do they look gray, but they are further away from me. Why was I having a growth spurt?

My stomach looks more chiseled. I don’t have a belly or anything, but this is way tighter than it usually is. This had to be the work out working. Right?

"Excellent work, let's keep it up. We're going to be working on the glutes now. We're doing ten reps of squats. Feel the burn!"

As I resume the exercise and try to focus on completing my squats, a rip is heard. I turn around and see a reptilian tail. What is this recording doing to me?! I have to stop! Something is very wrong. I have to turn this off!

"Do not be distracted, every moment you pause your workout is another moment you waste both of our time," the man's voice suddenly said. "If you keep it up, I'll have to get someone else to take over your regimen."

Before I can turn off my ipad and stop the file, the voice became a deep guttural growl "W-what did you just say?"

"What's your name?" the voice snarled.

Odd question. My name is…no. No no no! Why can’t I remember it? This should be the easiest question in the world. I write it every day for my job and my business even has it in its own name!

I grip my head, as a different sensation is occurring. Two bumps formed on my forehead. Bumps begin to widen and sharpen, turning into some kind of horns. The tips of which are sharp enough to cause a drop of blood to form on my finger.

"For every second you're not exercising, more of your mind will drip away, no better motivator than stakes," the voice said with eerie confidence. "Now then, you still have more reps left." The voice went back to the peppy man from the start of the recording.

"I cannot focus on the workout if these changes keep happening!" I retort. Why did it sound so...wrong? I've always had a tail...right? It was weird because I couldn't remember my name, that's it!"

"Three reps to go."

Not wanting to disobey, I continue with the final three reps. My name? Why can’t I recall it? I know I have a law firm so I try to think back to that. If I could just remember the name of my firm I could get some of my name. It was a Jo sounding name. Jodie? Joanna? Jordan? There can’t be that many woman names that start with Jo. I know it is Jol-

"Alright, let's bring things back down to the ground." the voice said. "Get down on your hands and feet, it's time for push ups. Like the squats, we'll be doing ten reps of them.

The next work out instruction snapped me back into reality. Worst of all, I lost that name I thought of. I already hate it when it happens normally, but this felt like dropping a phone in an open sewer drain. I get back onto the floor, hands and toes flat on the ground and begin to push my chest onto the ground.

Around the sixth push up, I noticed my breasts were not hitting the ground as much any more. This tape did something to my girls.

"We're sticking back to the ground because now it's sit-up time! Get that core worked out!"

Perfect, this will at least give me an opportunity to look at my chest. As I figure out how to lay on the ground with my new tail I can finally look. Where did they go? Both were gone, or at least became really flat.

It always annoys me how many co-worker, clients and especially strangers ogle and stare at them. Still I was proud of them. I could not deny they were sexy and that made me feel good. Now they are just gone! I want to cry, but I can’t. I do not want to make these changes worse than they already are.

As I continue to do sit ups, I also notice something odd with my clothes. The lack of them.

My yoga pants are completely gone. Yet, I feel like my butt has some kind of padding that is preventing me from feeling my wood floors. Getting a better look at my leg is much worse. These are tree trunk legs, almost as thick as my torso. In between parts of my legs, there are gray and black scales forming that look inhuman next to my tan skin.

What is more unnerving is the river of red on my toe nails and legs. Like fire is forming on my legs. I am able to briefly touch it and there is some kind of heat coming from it, not unlike a fireplace.

"We're close to the end, let's start winding down." the voice said. "Let's loosen the neck, just simply roll your head along your shoulders in a circular motion, that'll help your neck and shoulders to wind down."

This is a nightmare! I'm not supposed to have scales. I should not be almost six feet nor be completely nude. What did I do to deserve this?

As I continue to roll my neck, my hair is growing longer, blonder, more unkempt. My precious black locks are gone. Before I could bemoan the loss of my hair color, there is a sharp pain and then a rip from what is left of my top.

Cold air from my ceiling fan blows against my sweaty back and a shiver. I briefly look behind and I see some kind of wings. Not feathery or light, it felt firm. Am I becoming some kind of dinosaur?!

"And last one! Hold your arms behind your head and stretch them out. Then after a 45 second hold, raise your dominant arm into the air, while keeping the other one bent." The voice returned to that deep commanding voice from earlier.

None of this is right, it is all wrong. I’m not a man, my hair isn't supposed to be this long, blond or unkempt. I should not have these horns or a tail. Before I could ponder everything about me that was wrong. Wait how did I..?

Nothing. My mind dulled, and I was staring ahead with a blank expression on my face. My arms are held in the last stretch I could remember. Remembering anything else is impossible. All I can do is process what I am feeling.

My face feels like it is being grabbed and pulled forward, like some kind of muzzle. The sharp teeth that were clustered in my mouth began to space out, giving me sharp fangs. Yellow eyes losing their pupils and become pure gold.

More spikes grow around my hairline. Not that it matters as my mane of gold has expanded, losing the tight and trimmed hair I had. Any patch of skin on my body is covered with scales. My legs are already the proper size. Not to mention a cod piece to hide and protect my new “other tail”.

A pulse goes through my body. I feel as if I am expanding. My arms grow longer to match the proportions of my enlarging torso. Any flab from my breasts is chiseled into firm muscle. Pleasant pops in my spine provide relief as I grow taller and taller. My tail has become thicker, I have full control of it. I slam it against the ground.

Finally, blades begin to form on my arms. Perfect for delivering killing strikes to my opponent. My biceps feel incredible as I can feel my arm bulking out with muscle due to this stretch.

My body is perfectly tuned and trained for the fight. I know I am massive and it instills pride in me.

"Excellent work Caesar" the recording said, a small "click" being heard as recording stopped.

I come to. I maneuver my other arm back to my side and start moving my claws, making sure my hands are not stiff.

That damned cat is so slow to get ready. Slow enough to where I finished a work out recording from front to back. No wonder I became absorbed in my meditation. We are in the arena to fight as a test of strength, not of beauty.

Doesn’t matter. Once I am in that ring, I will put her arrogance on display. I will grind her bones into dust under my heel, destroy her fighting spirit and leave her broken. Pantera will regret ever challenging Caesar Valius. The Calamity of the Vanquished Souls tournament. No one will ever take my title as champion!

“Mr. Valius. Pantera is ready for the match.” Ah that is more like it. Eliza is not unnerved by my presence. This is why I respect her, even if she calls me Caesar(ce-sar) as opposed to Caesar(Kaiser). She just calls me Mr. Valius, which I also do not like, but she does not seem to care.

“About time she is ready.” I make my way past the door, Eliza clearing the way like the good handler she is.

My walk turns into a jog, then into a sprint. People make pains to avoid me as I barrel down this hall. People call me a beast. A monster. A demon. All insults that I take as a point of pride. It shows that they fear me, recognize my strength and my fighting prowess.

This is what I live for.

[littlepinkdiary]

sunday, december 24

hiii again, i'm still alive lolol! i didn't stick to my promise of posting here but that's more because i started journaling, as i planned, so i had nothing to say. but i do love having this blog so i'll keep it if only to reblog helpful and motivating things.

school has been good so far, lost some friends and actively planning to lose some more… that sounds so backwards but it's something that must be done for my own sake. recently i've been feeling too mature for my friends and not in an "i'm better than you" way but more in a "we don't care for the same things" kind of way, like i'm being held back by trying to fit in with them. which i believe is a valid reason to pull back from a friendship, i'm being as nice about it as i can. i'm used to fewer friends in general, and a bit less drama, so at least i won't be tired coming home from school every single day until may lol!

i've had my week of slacking now and i'm ready to pull up my laces and do what has to be done. like some desperately needed cleaning and wardrobe revamping and also starting on some IAs. again, i plan to share my yearly ins and outs and i feel like i wanna go over my moodboard for the year and talk about what did and didn't come true (spolier alert: most of it did) also just talk about like- other stuff. i definitely wanna like ramble abt workouts and stuff here bc it's fun. this is just a blabber space for me since i can't "move in silence" and this is the closest thing i've got!

because i do have actual living breathing haters somehow…

i don't think i have anything else to say actually sobs, but i'll try, again, to keep this blog updated and active! toodle~

xoxo, cc <3

[analjubisic]

Going to the gym

🏋🏻‍♀️Activity title: Going to the gym

🏋🏻‍♀️Duration: 2 or 3 times per week

🏋🏻‍♀️Type of activity: activity, long term activity

Activity description:

Firstly, I make a plan of my workout for each muscle group and then do the training for at least one hour. I try to make a few different plans so it can be a little bit more interesting every time.

Reflection:

This type of activity is maybe not as good as doing some sport, but it is much more than just the training. The most important benefit is being more self- disciplined and organised throughout the day. It helps me also be in a better shape and be more confident. Sometimes I feel bad if I don’t go when I knew I had to go, and that means that I’m disciplined even when i’m not motivated, and that can help me in some other aspects in life.

Learning outcomes:

🥇Identify own strengths and develop areas for growth

🥈Demonstrate that challenges have been undertaken, developing new skills in the process

🥉Demonstrate how to initiate and plan a CAS experience

[honeyymistt]

do you have a workout routine?

i don't have a set routine that i do because i like to do lots of different workouts!! i'll list some of the things i do in more detail :)

yoga: i like to do yoga at least 5 times a week. i really enjoy doing it first thing in the morning or at the end of the day. sometimes i watch a youtube follow along and other times i'll do my own practice with poses that i know. recommended channels (yoga with adriene, jessica richburg, yoga with bird, boho beautiful yoga)

pilates: i started pilates when i was a dancer and i really really enjoy this. i go through phases with pilates but i almost always fall back on this. it's a workout that's easy for me to do when my motivation is low. i like to experiment with workouts i find on pinterest or tiktok!

HIIT (but not really): i wouldn't really label this as a HIIT workout but i like to focus on workouts that get my heart rate really high. so over the past month or so, i do 100 jumping jacks and then 100 burpees. after that i like to do some sort of ab workout (usually around 8-10 mins). after this, i like to do 5-8 mins of arms!! after this, i am dead so no more

walking: i have a dog so i walk her around the park near my house and i go to university where i get thousands of steps from walking to and from class lol so i definitely count this hehe 10k steps a day!!

[art-of-mathematics]

I need to workout mentally in regards to use of my language. Phases of cognitive decline become worse, more frequent, more intense.

I think it would help if someone would give me exercises to write about a topic and let me elaborate on that topic.

I need that in real life.

I think ergotherapy could help with that.

Yet, I also need a living place. And the living place inmdresden doesn't work due to the abusive father and sister and also the very bad experiences in the clinic there and the clinic staff beingjoverwhelmed extremely, no refuge place/no single room. No stable food times and no organization. The psychiatrists don't talk with each Other and it ends in everyday I was treated different.

I become more and more unfunctional. I am desorganized and confused, do not know where i am most of the time.

I do not know how to receive help.

Just a regular day routine would help, having an own room and learning to be more selbststänvig andjfunctionaljstep by step.

But the situation in Germany is the following: Clinics are overchallenged and send me elsewhere. Nowhere. Back to that overchallenged mother who is also not able help me with creating a daily life routine. She does notjhelpjwith diabetes, food, day planning, organization of tnings like ergotherapy and minimum physician visits either.

Then I would be given the advice to be sent to special care home. And that is also horror.

I could think about living in a care homejfor some months or few years in the north of germany, but not anywhere where that mother is living and the Konzern vitos is roaming.

I write too incoherently.

Yet I know these most basuc things would help with the cognitive descline:

-stable environment

-active cognitive training - especially writing texts wouldjhelp. It would help if someone wants me tojwrite and if we could elaboratejthe texts together. It would also motivate me. Andjhelp me tojcontinue andjdont discard my projects all the time.

- stable food times

- a room

Things that make it difficult:

- medication does not work. Meds often even worsen the symptoms and side effects are most present. Often, clinics only fill you with meds. Even if they work paradox they don't look. The clinic staff has no capacity.

- I would NOT want a psychiatric stay, but currently the options are few.

Currently, Miri helps me. But she has few options as well. We want tojtravel to her parents today. And the village is tiny and i dont know...

I will also not be able to becomejmore selbstständig. I willjnot be ablejto learn to take care of myself there as well.

Sure ijwilljhave a room there, which i am grateful for.

But ijwill also not have any structure or realistic challenge or active mental training.

... that the meldeadresse is stilljin Dresden makes it alljtoo difficult. I need to be movedjaway fromjthere already to receive help more easily. But for that i need more daily functionality. For that i need a bit help from medical staff ad well...

And damn, the kind of problems is banaljactually, but this constellation of problems makes it utterly difficult.

I need to go "step by step"...

There will be options.

At least I know what I need, or what would help me - and it's "im Bereich des Machbaren" (area/space of the doable)...

We'll see.

[startingover2108]

How my first GYM training went after a loooong break. (March 29th 2023)

.

So last time I took a workout class I also got a diet plan (February 2022). I was sticking to it immensely. suddenly my gut health got out of order.

-I was always with some bloating, stomach pains especially my left side and never knew why...

That's how my first ever flare started and lasted for a goooood 3,5 months of constantly bad bowels..

.

This time I took a women's group class. Easier with people. The program is about getting stronger with a lot of different types of weights and bodyweight also.

Currently am feeling like shit (it's (31.3.)4am in my country, my sore throat is waking me up and I am not sleeping good for almost 2 weeks now.just 5-6h per night is never going to be good for me)

Today I have another training. It will kill my ass probably and I will be in so much pain. CURRENT WISH: I really want to get stronger. Especially now on systemic corticosteroids while we tricked my body into fake remission with it... Idk if it makes sense but- if my core and all over body is stronger maybe I'll be better at taking the worse days physically and mentally.

That's my goal. Already told my trainer about my situation. I'm out of a habit. I'm new after a long ass time. I'll have very bad days.. but I told her I want to show up even then, to do at least slight stretching. I wanna show up 3x per week and do it for my mental health and to show myself I'm here for me and I'm not backing down again.

.

Workout consisted of proper squat form, proper kettlebell swings and holds, basics. But damn my legs feel like Jell-O 😂

.

Hope this helps someone or motivates you to find your own little active outlet. Just try to be there for YOU. If you show up for your self you won't have to look who didn't. It will be good enough ^^

Have a wonderful last day of March and an AMAAAAZING upcoming April

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

[the-wizard-challenge]

The Wizard Challenge

If you're like me and you have both an unquenchable thirst for roleplaying games and executive dysfunction, then you might also find yourself in a similar headspace of getting distracted and not tackling tasks that are necessary for the average functional civilian.

So, I decided to use my favorite pastime (coming up with D&D characters that I'll never use) as a way to help me motivate myself and trick myself into adopting better habits and routines in the coming year.

I didn't make any major new years resolutions for 2023 other than "do the the damn thing," and generally get around to all the things I should get done. My mental illness often inhibits me from getting into the correct state of mind where I feel motivated enough to start something, much less finish it.

And then I got to thinking, what if I could give myself XP for actually finishing tasks I set out to do? What If I could fuel my motivation with my inherent desire for escapism?

As a millennial with mental illness, I've seen motivational plans and tips like this a hundred times before, and have always felt pretty meh about them or fallen off early. Since I thought of this concept, however, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. Might as well give it a shot!

I first turned to D&D 5e, the TTRPG system I'm most familiar with. It's easy to grasp, and there's tons of materials available online.

Then I started going down the rabbit hole that is creating a character concept, which is my favorite part of starting any game. But I also had to think of how I would apply my task management and routine-building.

I decided to pick a Wizard for my class. Because one of my general goals is to read more often, Wizard felt like a good option; any time I finish a book, I can treat it as a spell and add it to my wizard's spellbook.

I've been playing a lot of Potionomics and I adore the design for Luna, a moth girl with a talent for marketing. I picked Fairy for my wizard's ancestry, and got to work designing a moth-ish Wizard baby. Her name is Phalena, she enjoys green tea, and I'm aiming for her subclass to be Order of Scribes.

Then I sat down to think over how certain tasks and goals should be calculated in terms of experience. I didn't want to make things too easy on myself, so I factored in the idea that most D&D groups are about 4-6 players on average. I looked up some basic enemy stats for 5e (specifically, low CR enemies) and used that to build up my own system.

Basically, everyday tasks like doing laundry, washing dishes, or picking up groceries are equal to low-level monsters like zombies and skeletons (challenge rating 1/4). These are things that must be done, but can still be difficult to accomplish.

The total experience points awarded for defeating a zombie is 50 xp. As I said, though, you'll typically be playing D&D with at least 2 other people. Taking into account a 5-person party, that 50 xp is divided into 10 xp each.

Considering that the average time to actually start and finish one of these tasks is relatively low (15 to 30 minutes being the range), the trick that made the most sense to me was to take the total time in minutes it took to finish something and multiply it by 2 to get my total xp.

The original idea was to just multiply the minutes by 10, which would get me roughly around the average amount of xp in an encounter. For example, washing the dishes would be 150 xp. But if I'm trying to keep my numbers more in line with regular D&D sessions, that number would have to be split 5 ways to account for companions that I would surely need to overcome these encounters.

I mean, we all know how squishy wizards are. Let's be realistic.

So, the system became # of minutes a task takes to start and finish x 2. This also accounts for more arduous and draining tasks like studying or a workout session, which take longer, to have a proportional reward.

I'll be real right now: I haven't ironed out absolutely everything yet. I already have lots of ideas for other things I want to try. For example, I'm currently studying for specific certification that is in my field of work. Rather than just tallying up all experience points from studying sessions and taking the test, I also want to treat it like a side quest for a magic item - maybe a flying broomstick or an upgraded spellbook.

I also have thoughts about how rests should be treated, if I should think of those as self care activities. Maybe activities that I like that should be more moderated like playing video games can be seen as spell slots or once-per-long-rest abilities.

There's a lot of mechanics in 5e I could potentially incorporate other than just xp and new spells, but I feel like this is a good foundation for what I'm trying to do.

I also wanted to share this on Tumblr because I know there are others like me who may or may not find this interesting, and also 2023 is the year of the wizard as I understand it.

I want to be able to sketch my wizard and share her soon, but in the mean time I've already racked up some xp in the past couple days that I'm itchin to log.

[mypinkdiary43]

2023 Vision Board

This is not really a vision board, but I didn’t want to call it my resolutions either. So here it goes.

Dear Diary:

I’m feeling so optimistic and hopeful as the new year begins. It really feels like my life is getting back on track, and this time I’m being more intentional about my goals. My focus is on putting myself first, so I don’t fall into another mental health crisis this year. I’m genuinely happy right now. Not only am I starting a new job soon (still in the animal welfare industry), but I’m officially a director in my industry! Well, I know have the title at least. I've always been the director, strategies, but my boss has always gotten the credit for what I did behind the scenes. Okay, off topic, but anyway; I’m finally making the kind of money I’ve dreamed of, and it’s so motivating to work for a company that values me as much as I value it. Being underemployed for so many years took such a toll on my mental and physical health, but now I’m stepping into 2023 in the best way possible—and I’m so ready for this new chapter!

Oh, and nope, I’m not pregnant yet, but honestly, I’m over it for now and will save that discussion for another entry.

One of my goals this year is to become more self-sufficient with my hair. I’ve had a solid hair routine for the past three years, and my hair has grown so much because of it. I’ve learned a lot about caring for my long, thick kinks, which can easily tangle or mat if I’m not careful. I love my hairdresser to pieces, but I think it’s time for me to take more ownership of my hair care. Maybe I’ll reach out to her only when absolutely necessary—perhaps quarterly—and do my own hair on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. It’s time for me to take the reins.

Another focus for me this year is establishing a solid morning routine. I want to start each day with tea and some gentle movement—either stretching or yoga. Right now, I wake up around 6:30 a.m. and usually spend time writing until 8 a.m. before I get out of bed to prepare for work. While it’s enjoyable, it’s not productive for my physical health. Most days, I’m so tired after work that I skip exercising, which isn’t helping me meet my health goals. I think a shift in my morning routine could be the key. Here’s my plan:

6:30-7:00 a.m.: Writing

7:00-7:45 a.m.: Morning stretches, workout, and yoga

7:45-8:30 a.m.: Make breakfast, drink tea, and shower

Be ready for work by 8:30 a.m.

If I can stick to this, I’ll start my day with intention and hopefully build up the motivation to work out at the end of the day, too. I’m also planning to incorporate a lunch break at noon and then a dedicated workout hour from 2 to 3 p.m. That way, I can step away from my desk and really focus on my health. My goal is to finish my workday by 4 p.m. so dinner isn’t too late. If I can lock this routine in, I truly believe I can improve both my physical and mental health at the same time.

Lastly, I’m committing to signing up for therapy once a month. My mental health has been rocky for the past three years, but I made some real progress in 2022. I want to keep that going. As I return to the workforce and take on new responsibilities in my job, I know I’ll need to keep battling impostor syndrome and anxiety. So, I’m being proactive about this. Within the first three months of this year, I’ll have a therapist lined up to help me stay grounded and strong.

This year is about balance, intention, and growth—and I’m ready for it all.

[fakinbaconpancakes]

Thoughts on Unemployment (Part 1)

This may be a long one because I have a lot of thoughts. Some of this may not be completely coherent.

I am annoyed that I was laid off. I was managing a group of 5, supporting a number of research groups, and getting the job done.

It was a decision because my boss thinks she could do it, I had 2 counterparts that did the same thing as I, and my boss' boss is a shitty manager.

My former manager was a piece of work. With a workaholic pathology, they had no personal boundaries. Working on holiday was the norm, and set a terrible standard in the group. If they weren't doing the job of 6 people, they weren't working hard enough. They resented the 20 people on the team who ultimately reported to her. How do you lead people you hate? I stopped providing information about my peers when I realized that they made it a point to weaponize it and attack others. Early on, and I'm only realizing it now, they were threatened by me and made it a point to threaten me. They said, when you do X, I can't protect you. I didn't work at a place where people were vindictive. They came from a place where backstabbing was the norm. And they brought that shit with them. The feeling of being threatened only increased when I learned how to make strong arguments, backed up by facts, and advocate for myself. I always made it a point to be convinced of better ideas, but I see now that my creativity and the slightest bit of willpower soured me on her. And now they think they can handle what I used to do. The team isn't stupid, and I see confidence in their abilities falling. I have more, but the one thing that always got me: "They (meaning the team members) aren't allowed to talk about their salaries with each other." I can't describe the number of times I had to step in to say "Yes they can," "Yes it's legal," "It's the National Labor Relations Act," "It's illegal for you tell them to not talk about their salaries," "Ask HR." And this was all before the pay transparency laws started popping up. By the time I got booted, pay transparency was part of the company culture, at lease seeing your own pay bands.

My boss' boss. What a piece of work. My first month, I went to say hello and got zero emotive reaction. My second month, they had a department meeting where they spent an hour yelling at the group. They made a statement saying they were there to help people in the department with their problems. I know our relationship went off the rails when I didn't come crying for help. I can handle my shit. And in the following 3 years, there was 1 instance where I needed assistance and they were completely ineffectual. Sometimes leaders are in leadership positions because they are great leaders. Other times it's because there was no one else in the start-up phase of the company.

Back to being unemployed. It feels terrible. I was sans work once before for about 8 months after returning from a job overseas. At least back then I had some hope and naiveite, but no plan other than just applying for jobs. That got tough, especially as time went on. I felt like such an awful person and it showed. At least this time I have some plans, which should lead to better patience.

My first month after the notice was terrible. Deep depression. All the cliches. Woke up late. Barely ate. Morning depression nap. Afternoon depression nap. No motivation to do anything. Went from 5 days a week workouts to zero. I went to a week-long hobby event, drove halfway across the country for it, and barely engaged. Spent some time with like 3 people instead of 100. Mostly sat and lost myself in some fiction. I left early to be miserable by myself at home.