notyobabygirl

[notyobabygirl]

Hey babes do you still go to the beach in Jersey? I’m going this summer to the shore with my boyfriend & his family but I live in cali & need help. Where to go, where to stay?? Please & thank youuuu ily

i was there this past weekend! my friends have beach houses in different towns but i think it depends on what you want to do! do you have any idea on what town? are you planning on doing an air bnb or hotel?

[notyobabygirl]

hi lizzie bear!!!! what’s up how are you?!?! do anything fun lately or have anything fun coming up? i think im gonna get a new job soon so im looking forward to that but other than that life is mundane for me atm 🫶🏼🍒

hi hi!!! i’m good!! i feel like im such a rut rn with the weather in nyc but next week is suppose to finally be nice. what kind of job are you looking for??

[notyobabygirl]

happy belated birthday angel 🫶🏼🤍🧚🏼🫧 love u big sis <333333

thank u for this lil fam you created 🥹

thank you!!!!!! you are so sweet. i love you 🤍🧚

[notyobabygirl]

Hey Liz hope your well! I need your advice on something..I’m currently in a relationship but it’s not really what I want for various reasons (lifestyles and he hasn’t treated me well) but he’s my first love and I feel like I can’t let go of him! I’ve tried so many times but it’s been super hard because we do love each other.

On the other hand I took a trip a few months back and this guy approached me in the street and complimented me. We just exchanged instagrams at the time and had plans to hang out with my friends and his friends. At that time me and my bf were going through a lot of stuff and I was so heartbroken about things that he did that I just wanted a distraction. We never ended up hanging out because I flew back and he got busy with work.

Since then he’s been messaging me almost every month asking me when I’m coming and that he wants to fly me out. The thing is this guy is way better suited for me, we studied the same thing, he has a great job, he likes to travel and he literally looks like Nate from Gossip Girl. I’ve been avoiding his messages because I’m torn on what to do.

Me and NY guy have never spoke outside of a few messages and I’d like to get to know him more because I’ll be on my own if I do decide to visit him. But I’m also scared safety wise and also don’t want the expectation that I’m going to have sex with him because I’m not a casual hookup kinda girl. But I feel like flying a girl out implies that. I feel like I need to make a decision soon because I’ve been ignoring his texts and obviously one day he’s going to give up on us meeting.

This sounds so bad but I’ve also thought about keeping both, I’m scared I’ll lose my bf if I break up with him go see this guy and he’s only interested in having sex. At the same time my bf hasn’t always been the most loyal and has hurt me a lot so I don’t feel as though I owe him loyalty back at this point. But lately he’s been super sweet and we’ve been through a lot together, he is constantly talking about me moving in with him and getting married.. which I’m definitely not ready for.

I feel like I sound so selfish but I really don’t know what I want.

P.S I’m also in a long distance relationship and it would be easy to hide if I did go see the guy but Idk!

Sorry this is so long!! 💗

hi girl! okay let’s tackle this into two parts. first part of your current boyfriend. i know how hard it is to leave a first love, you are so emotional attached to that person and the thought of leaving them is scary and sad. but you already know you deserve better and honestly that’s the first step. he’s holding you back and if you already met this great job while you are in a relationship, think about all the great guys you will meet when you aren’t in a relationship. being with someone who isn’t the best of the best, is almost like a waste of time. soooo i think you just have to pull the trigger and break up with him. think what you would tell your best friend, would you tell him to stay with a guy who half asses things and you know she deserves so much better? absolutely not. plus in my opinion breaking up when you are doing long distance is easier because you won’t have to see him or run into him. you should break up with him not because you want to meet up with this other guy, but do it because you know he isn’t the one and you owe yourself more than what he is giving you.

now the NY guy. do you have any friends you could stay with in the city or pay a trip out to see them? that way you will go to see a friend and then seeing this guy will be an added bonus. doooo nottttt feel pressured to have sex with him at all. it’s a good indication if he really is this amazing guy, if you tell him you aren’t having sex and he brushes you off then you know you can stop talking to him. but if he is perfectly ok with him (as he should be) then maybe you found yourself a keeper. i wouldn’t visit while you have a bf, first step is the break up and then take a lil trip to new york and be single and have fun!! keep me updated love you 🩷

[notyobabygirl]

hey Liz! i’m so glad your back :) do you have any experience dating a guy with a mom who isn’t the best person? or maybe you just could not seem to form a connection with her? i’ve been dating my bf for years and i’m still struggling to form a relationship with his mom, let alone even like her. i’m pretty certain i’m going to marry my bf.. and ideally i’ve always pictured myself having a second family when i’m married, and always assumed i would love my husband’s family. but my bf’s family is kinda broken- parents divorced and they weren’t good parents growing up, his dad lives in a diff city, his much older sister lives in a diff state, he’s not close with any of them despite living with his mom. i don’t mind that i’m not close with his dad considering i only see him a handful of times a year. but i see his mom pretty much every single day and have spent a significant amount of time with her. and for some reason have never really clicked with her. when my bf and i go do stuff with her i get along with her great, and generally i do like her! but the more time ive spent with her, the more i’ve realized she’s not a great person. she treats my bf, his sister, and her mom (who i absolutely adore) like crap most of the time for no reason. she’s one of those people who seems stressed out 24/7 and when she’s having a bad day she thinks it’s okay to take it out on people around her. whenever she’s in meetings and i’m at their house i hear her bullying/yelling at people she works with. there’s been a few times in the past where she’d be wine drunk and i’d be staying the night, she would be very catty towards me. or one time she was drunk and she heard me and my bf fighting and she kinda went off me on me saying “he’s not ready for a relationship. why are you even here? you just cause problems” it was so weird and mean. but when i told my bf about it he said “im so sorry but she only said that because she’s drunk. don’t think she meant it” but idk. other than those few times i always felt pretty lucky she seemed to like me and be a lot nicer to me than she is to most people. until the past couple days.. idk what it is but she has been extremely hostile to both me and my bf. the main reason i’m sending this in tho is something she said last night.. my bf and i got home from dinner and he went upstairs. and immediately she started yelling at him about how he forgot to load a case of water bottles into the fridge. and my bf was like “oh shit i’m sorry. i’ll do it right now” and she said back “or you know, you could make your girlfriend do something around here for once” in a super condescending voice. my jaw dropped. i was down in his room but she definitely knew that, so there’s a good chance she just didn’t care if i heard. not only was i very confused why she said that, but i’ve known this woman for years now and she couldn’t even call me by my name? “your girlfriend” just seems way more disrespectful imo. when my bf came down i was like “what was that about?” and he said “she’s drunk. just ignore her like i do” and i said “i cannot just ignore that. why did she even say that? she’s never asked me for help around the house.” since im over here almost every day and sleepover a bunch, i’ve always offered to help with chores. or if i notice one of them doing something i ask to help but they always decline. when im over here im always in my bf’s room tho, its very rare i use dishes or do anything messy but when i do i obviously always clean up after myself. idk why she hasn’t just come to me herself and said “hey can you start helping out around the house while you’re here?” instead of talking poorly to my bf about me when i have no clue it was even an issue. idk what to do, i don’t want to keep being so sweet to this lady who couldn’t care less. and i think it’s so odd that at her old age she can’t seem to communicate or handle her emotions like an adult. should i talk to her about it myself or should i just let my bf handle it?? :/

ok ok ok. that’s for sure a sticky situation and dealing with a family like that isn’t ideal. i feel like everyone wants the perfect family to come from your partner but unfortunately i feel like that’s hard to come by. what she said to you was extremely rude and so uncalled for. i think she just is that kind of person, which sucks. some people don’t care if they hurt someone’s feelings and just don’t have the kindest heart. i don’t think you have done anything wrong. if you offer here and there to do things around the house and she says no then that’s all you can do. it’s not your responsibly to be a maid in her household. wish there was a better answer but you are just gunna have to stick it out. i’m sure once your bf moves out then it will get better but for now just kill her with kindness and ignore her the best you can!

[notyobabygirl]

NOTYOBABYGIRL IS BACKKKK AHHH!!!! how have you been? what’s new?? 💋💋

was gone for too long girls 🥹 i’m good!! i just got back to nyc from being in florida for 10 days. i have a very busy weekend coming up and fun plans in april. ive been good 🥹

[notyobabygirl]

Hey Liz I need help on writing an email to my professor. What’s a professional way to say sorry I can’t attend class because I’m sick.

ok no joke i have this saved in my notes from college i forget where i got it from but this was always my go to

dear professor,

I am writing to share with you that I have not been able to attend your class (course name and time of course) on the following dates (insert dates here) due to (insert situation here; i.e. illness/flu) situation. I have been trying to catch-up on course work as best as possible.

Can we set up a time to meet and discuss missed work and possible next steps?

Thank you in advance for your time. I look forward to talking to you soon.

[notyobabygirl]

Hiii I missed you omg! I could use some advice on if I’m taking something too personal or if how I’m feeling is normal…

I’ve been dating my bf for nearly 4 years & I’ve been living with his mom and him for over a year. She’s taken me on small trips to their ski lodge 3 hours away 4 times & always pays for my dinners/drinks when we go. She’s also invited me on a couple big trips that just didn’t work out- a Yosemite trip that got cancelled & a last minute roadtrip to Canada that I couldn’t join because I didn’t have my passport yet. Early into our relationship her and my boyfriend went on a roadtrip to Yellowstone and flew to Michigan for his sister’s wedding, neither of which I was invited to. But those we both within the first 6months of our relationship so I understood.

So basically I’ve been on a couple small trips, but never an out of state trip with both of them. Him and I have gone out of state together countless times, but I always thought it’d be fun to go on one with his mom too. Anyway… around this time last year his mom had planned a trip to Disney World and from what I remember it sounded like I was invited. But she had to reschedule it for April this year. My boyfriend reminded me last month that we were going and he told me all the plans for the trip. He was so excited, told me we got our own hotel room, a redeye flight since we live on the west coast, etc. Just talking about how fun it’ll be for us. And of course I got super excited because I’ve always wanted to go to Disney World and I love trips with him, and now I can experience one with his mom and sister too. But then a week or so later, I realized his mom hadn’t mentioned it to me yet. So I told him to make sure I was actually invited because it seemed odd. Then a couple days later he told me that I actually wasn’t invited, his mom wanted it to be a “family trip” with just her, him and his sister. I was a little hurt hearing that since we’ve been dating for 4 years and I live with them… you’d think she’d consider me family by now? I just know my family would never invite me on a 8 day long trip and not invite my boyfriend too. Especially since they consider him family and they call us a “package deal”. But I didn’t want to be weird so i acted like it didn’t bother me when he told me I’m not invited. But my boyfriend was like “Ugh I do not want to go without you. Trips without you always suck.” so he told me he was just going to pay for me to go. And tbh- every time he goes on a trip without me he texts & calls me the whole time, talking about how miserable he is. So I feel bad I wasn’t invited but I also feel bad for him he has to go alone. So anyway, I didn’t really respond to him saying that I’m gonna go with him anyway and that he’ll pay for me. Because honestly I really want to go, but I also don’t want to go against what his mom wants and intrude. And I also didn’t want to get my hopes up, because there’s a good chance it ends up being too expensive for him to bring me or something doesn’t work out. We haven’t talked about it since (that was a couple nights ago) so idk if he still plans on bringing me or not. And I feel so awkward bringing it up because I was so excited to go & now I feel so left out? I overheard his mom talking about the trip to a coworker on the phone yesterday and she was just talking about how it’s been on her bucket list and she’s so excited. And then at the end she said “My son asked to invite his girlfriend, but I think it’d be better just the 3 of us since this will likely be our last family trip for awhile” I couldn’t hear word for word what she said but it was basically that.

I think another big reason I feel so weird about it is because ik my boyfriend’s ex from a couple years before me, who he dated for only 3 months, went on a big trip with him and his mom. And I’ve been with him for nearly 4 years and I still haven’t been out of state with them. Ik thats probably silly to even think about but I can’t help thinking about it.

I understand Disney World & flights are expensive, but she could have at least asked my boyfriend if he wants me there (which is obvious) or if I want to pay for myself to join. But she just excluded me entirely and didn’t even let it be an option. I know for a fact she knows that my boyfriend hates long trips without me, and that he hates traveling with her and sister because they’re both not the nicest to him & they both get very stressed out/grumpy while traveling. Where if I’m there, I’m very easy going, I love traveling, and I’m his girlfriend so it’s way more fun for him. He’s also not super close with his mom or sister- it’s kinda sad but his mom very obviously favors his sister. So I know he’s gonna be miserable being at Disney World with just his 65 year old mom and 27 year old sister. Idk if I’m being dramatic or if I shouldn’t think this much about it? And if my boyfriend decides to pay for me to come what do I do?? I have a feeling he won’t or his mom won’t let him, but if it somehow works out, do I go despite his mom not inviting me and feel guilty the whole week? Or do I decline even though I know it’ll be sm fun for both of us? If you answer this thank you🩷🫶🏼 Sorry for how long of an explanation that was lolll

hi girl! that is a tough situation but i think at the end of the day you just gotta let it be just them. i know it will suck and disney is fun but it seems like his mom really wants it to be just them 3. i truly truly truly don’t think it has anything against you, i don’t think she doesn’t want you or necessarily not want you there, i think she wants to spend quality time with her son and daughter. it’s always hard for moms to understand their kids are getting older and when they have a significance other it can feel like they aren’t as close anymore. esp if she said it will be the last trip for a while. i think she knows if you do come then your boyfriend will be by your side at all times and not give much attention to his mom and sister. i know when my family goes on big trips my dad didn’t want our boyfriends coming because it was a “family” trip and he knew if i invited my bf then i wouldn’t be so engaged with my family. you should just be the bigger person and tell your boyfriend its totally ok and don’t both asking his mom about it. plus maybe you can take the money he would have spent on you and do a little trip just you two. lmk what happens ily ♥️

[notyobabygirl]

thoughts on friends who take forever to respond to texts/snaps/calls but when you’re with them they’re always on their phone? one of my friends does this exact thing and it gets kind of irritating. like i get we’re all at work and busy and whatever and it would be one thing if when i was with her she wasn’t on her phone.. id be like okay she’s just someone who barely uses her phone, fine. we also don’t live close to each other rn so texting is our only way to stay connected and it feels like she doesn’t care tbh

i have a friend just like this also and it is super super frustrating i have realized some people are like. i would send her a text and just be like “hi i miss u i wanna talk more and catch up”. some people just hate texting so maybe she might prefer calling or facetiming. you can only try so hard with a person so if you find yourself constantly reaching out and getting nothing in return then you might eventually just have to cool it for a little and see if she realizes

[notyobabygirl]

(Crush on boss girl here) I’m so bad at flirting so idk if she flirts w me but she def lingers her eye contact and jokes around w me and stuff! She’s prob just being friendly and I know nothing would everrrr happen but she’s just so pretty lol it’s nice to dream 😭

having a work crush makes going to work so much more fun. and having someone whose nice to look at is fun too. i don’t blame you girl

[notyobabygirl]

UR BACK omg i’ve been thinking about your blog the past couples months wondering if you’d ever be active again🥺 missed you!!

i am back 🥹 it’s been over a year i know. i missed you guys dearly

[notyobabygirl]

giiiirl I have a crush on my boss but idk if she’s into girls or not and I know nothing would ever happen between us (she also happens to be my moms boss) and I’m still in the closet too it’s such a dilemma the yearning is killing me lollllll

unfort dating a boss crosses prob the number one rule in the HR handbook. is she flirty with you?

[notyobabygirl]

just so much shit honestly and dealing with being kicked out and broke and confused idk what I want to do with my life. Also having to deal with someone in my life who is toxic I just feel like I can’t handle anything anymore. I feel so stupid and useless. i want to screammmmm for like 3 days straight lol 🥹

the first step is to understand you are not stupid or useless. you need to talk to yourself how you would talk to a best friend, be kind to yourself!! it sounds silly but the way you talk to yourself really effects your mood. it’s so hard to remove a toxic person from your life and i obviously don’t know the whole story and it’s easier said than done, but blocking is so helpful. you shouldn’t have any toxic people in your life because they will bring you down with them. it’s a new day tomorrow, you can do little things everyday to help yourself. things will get better, but you have to try to help yourself the best way you can. you got this. take it day by day

[notyobabygirl]

When I went on a trip to Spain to visit my family, my roommate invited people over & she allowed someone to sleep in my bed while I was away. She acts as if it was no big deal but I am sooo mad about it. I want to move but I’m stuck here for another 3 months. Howww do I deal with a roommate that doesn’t respect my space🤧

that is very annoying and really invasion. she should have 100% asked you at the very least. 3 months might seem like a long time but it will go by soooo fast trust me. you have lived with her this long so you are in the home stretch and then you don’t have to live with her anymore! i hope she washed your sheets and if she didn’t then i would absolutely ask her to!

[notyobabygirl]

life is so harddddd at the moment ugh girl idk what to do

what’s wrong hunny :(

[notyobabygirl]

Hey so I didn’t make a post but other people did and one of these friends liked the post so she would’ve had to know. I think the thing im hung up on is that we’ve been friends for so long and this was never a problem and then all of a sudden, it was. They never forget each others birthdays only mine. That’s where I get confused. I totally get that as adults people are busy and can easily forget and that’s fine! But it only being me that gets forgotten is rubbing me the wrong way.

okay if i was in your position i would say but in a “jokingly” manner. like text them or just one and be like “wait i just realized you didn’t wish me a happy birthday. do u hate me”. something like that where it’s jokingly but not really and see what she/they say. keep me updated!

[notyobabygirl]

(2/2) and now i kind of feel like an idiot.. and im so lost? i genuinely just don’t understand. im kind of having second thoughts about reconnecting now because to me this kinda says they haven’t changed much but then im like or am i just being dramatic? but then i have newer friends (some I haven’t event known a year) that didn’t forget so it’s obviously not that hard to remember. what do i do? like do you get the vibe these girls are not my friends? idk how to even go forward with them bc im afraid im wasting my time :/

okay okay i think the most important question i have to have an opinion on what you should do is did they 100% know it was your birthday? did you post anything on insta or any social media?? lmk and then we will re-evaluate ily