#and i’m like yes holy shit
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people who are weird about artists sharing their own OCs make no sense to me. if you support an artist and you don’t bother getting into their own original art with their own world building and characters you’re missing out! it’s so fun to see artists i follow going down paths with their own OCs and creating a world with their own lore, side OCs and everything i find it fascinating
#this is a 5am ramble#i just saw a post on here about OCs and how supporting artists means to support all the art that artist creates#including their own OCs#and i’m like yes holy shit#it’s so cool to see people just ramble on about their own OCs and have drawings attached and an entire world built for them#just really neat in my opinion
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Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.
The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.
#not even gonna tag this cause I don’t want to start discourse in the tags but you can absolutely still explore the concepts of patriarchy#toxic masculinity misogyny and rape culture if the genders where swapped#like those concepts don’t disappear just because Anya is a boy now cause you have to think of all the ways it applies to male victims and#I just don’t understand why people keep getting angry when people facilitate different discussion the game opens you up to#like yes I get the frustration with not seeing the conversations you want but start them go find them why complain on other posts when#people are bringing attention to similar issues and the ways they are overlooked dismissed or blame the victim#I for one think we should have more basic clarifying conversations of SA rape cultures and how toxic masculinity and sexism create scenarios#like the Tulpar and enable men like Jimmy but I also can understand and enjoy the topic being expanded upon to include other cases on a#flipped scale like yes how male centered the fandom is is annoying considering the topic but seeing comments saying that SA isn’t as harmful#to men cause they can’t get pregnant is a whole can of worms you really need to unpack cause holy shit#like in this scenario if Jimmy is pregnant and can’t get rid of the baby Anya is the father yes Jimmy is pregnant but that’s because in this#swap she assaulted a man lied to either say it was consensual he forced himself on her or like canon panicked and semi admitted to forcing#him either way he is afraid to do anything because men do get blamed for defending themselves against women in these situations not to#mention the shaming that occurs because he is a man and should step up for the kids sake and likely be told he should be proud a girl wanted#him that much like yes you have to explain it more but bodily autonomy in this scenario is just as nuanced and I can’t believe I have to#defend something being male centered in a game where the rape of a woman is the catalyst just because people are saying SA for men#is not as damaging or degrading or harmful to autonomy as it is to a woman like how can you want conversations on rape culture and shut down#people bringing up other nuances in the conversation#like people are gonna jump around with it I know but if you only want to talk about one thing stay in that sphere like I just don’t get#going to another space especially one that isn’t even being weird or toxic and starting shit cause you don’t like it like the amount of#unnecessary and mean comments on normal art of think pieces I’ve seen on Twitter is crazy like it’s stupid callout shit for the sake of just#not liking something like I’m seeing so much screen shotting and vague posting like just at the bitch and fight about it like it’s still a#relatively small fandom ur just asking for in fighting on like the few things we shouldn’t have to worry about#as a victim my self and who has been in other situations and being afab I just can’t understand the vitriol toward this sort of discussion#mouthwashing#actually I will tag this cause you can explore the themes in mouthwashing still stop being freaks and just block bitches ong
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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narnia is a christian allegory TO YOU. to me it is about being transgender
#i could write a thesis on this#like yes okay obviously i know it’s a christianity. but. listen. LISTEN.#if you put that many it is never too late to choose to live as yourself. living as yourself will always always always bring you more joy.#you must be that person even and especially if you are in an environment where it is not easy.#if you put that into the media. i’m making it transgender and you will just have to deal with it#edmund eustace and lucy. all transgender.#fun new layer to add to their dynamics w peter and susan.#ohhh lucy in votd going holy shit spell of trans my gender. and then realizing that without her unique experiences the world would be a much#less rich place#she would not be herself if she weren’t Herself. if she were in a different body.#i’m onto something here. it might be crack but i’m onto something
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“kristen applebees religion struggle overdone at this point” TO YOU! i personally am thinking about how helio, yes?, & cassandra relate to where kristen is at mentally in her journey of learning to live for herself & not for god and how helio is representative of kristen’s family, yes? is representative of tracker, & cassandra is representative of kristen herself, which is why kristen is shunning her.
#trackerbees is so over by the way#kristen applebees#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#cassandra looking like younger kristen showing how kristen is kinda emotionally stuck there rn even as she tries to grow#tracker being the one to give kristen the idea to change yes! to yes? and how tracker is kinda kristen’s god replacement figure post-helio#(read: tracker is what kristen was devoted to)#and obviously her family & childhood being represented by helio. her abrupt extreme cut off of them but missing the comfort & love there#also fun to think about how kristen createsvher own god & a few months later partially abandons it for her girlfriend’s idea of yes?#there’s something there idk. like it was kristen’s god who kristen made & it was cringe but it was hers#& she threw it away because she got sick of its optimism… idk i’m in pain & i’m just saying shit#also this might be too niche but that tiktok labyrinth by taylor swift / the archer by taylor swift / not strong enough by boygenius sound#is unfortunately so kristen in junior year / sophomore year / freshman year.#& when i say that i mean it’s her with cassandra / yes? / helio.#the fun part of all this is i could be totally wrong & disproven next week but if i’m RIGHT? holy shit! (not likely tho)
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Intimidating ladies calling me pet names>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
#this post is about Rio Vidal#she could make me commit war crimes I’ll say yes in a heartbeat#like holy shit you think I’m a sweetheart?????? just marry me rn#rio vidal#agatha all along
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hi!! Reading all of these is really fun, I love the old black-and-white noir feel :) I was wondering, if someone (me) were to hypothetically (not hypothetically at all) want to make fanart, are there any character design details, and if so, what are they?
ah yes, hypothetical fanart. now, this wasn’t somethin’ i expected to be discussin’ just yet. but i had considered the possibility of this happenin’ especially considerin’ Madame Curator has plenty of fan content of her, so i was rather excited. i decided to divulge…
see, some main details would probably include a fedora (that is commonplace among detectives), a trench coat with a popped collar, and possibly a cigarette or magnifying glass (among other various 1940s detective related paraphernalia). really, i’m just your average noir detective.
save for one detail…
now, i wasn’t plannin’ on revealin’ this next piece of information so early, but seein’ as people are lookin’ to make fanart of me, i guess id better spill the beans…
see, what a lotta folks here don’t know is that your local Hellsite Detective, P.P.I is actually a woman. that’s right, i’m a dame. i’m like if you mixed a regular “fella” detective with a classic femme fatale. interpret that how you will, tumblr masses.
i look forward to seein’ what you might hypothetically do with this information. especially considerin’ i dropped a relatively shocking plot twist in this post. but i welcome any sorta art that people would be interested in doin’! i’d consider it the highest honor, truly.
thank you very much for your time! have a great day!
#HOLY SHIT FANART OF ME YES YES OMG AAAAAAA#but uuhhh yep i’m a girl!#if people are making fanart i thought it’d be best to be properly represented#what people do with these details is up to them!#i’m allowing a ton of creative freedom here honestly#like just go nuts!#ask#hellsite detective#not a post case#the detective responds
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Ok I’m starting a poll tournament and going through every album
#reblog for sample size#korn#jonathan davis#brian head welch#james munky shaffer#munky#fieldy#david silveria#korn band#1994#self titled era#polls#this is the hardest poll I have ever voted in bro tf#yes I’m voting in my own poll#going back and forth on daddy cos while it’s not one I listen to often I would say it’s extremely defining for who they are as a band#and even as bandmates knowing the backstory of the recording#and for fans I know that song really changed my life in terms of like holy shit this is someone I really relate to just putting#everything out there no guard whatsoever#that takes courage#that really changed my life and is one of the reasons I still hold them so close all these years later and never stopped#anyway.#if I pick the one I listen to the most then clown sweep
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Apparently Astarion’s theme in Baldur’s Gate has LYRICS and they’re BEAUTIFUL?? And I’m just
Just
#I want to live#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#astarion#yes I’m on my 100th loop on like an hour holy shit#Spotify
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hey hey lil thing
howdy hey horselord here with some horselore/rambles
i just wanna say; in the Unwanted Guest AU Stanarrator isn’t canon AT THE BEGINNING—
Stan and Nar go through a bunch of character development throughout the AU, and they don’t like each other at all
Stan thinks Nar is a power hungry psychopath who loves watching him be in pain
Nar thinks he’s just doing his job and that Stan doesn’t really matter
BOTH OF THEIR OPINIONS WILL CHANGE IN THE FUTURE, GOOD AND BAD.
Stan started off liking Nar but quickly grew to loathe him due to being stuck in a loop for a long time.
Nar started off thinking of Stanley as nothing but a boring protagonist he’d have to waste his time on to make the Crows happy, but after seeing how fascinating Stanley is he grew attatched (PLATONICALLY for now)
Any Stanarrator art I draw is purely silly and fun because fuck it, I wanna draw my men being happy even though they aren’t close to being happy.
If they got into a relationship right NOW, like right in the beginning of the AU it would be toxic and bad. So I draw them being cute outside of the AU. The doodles I draw are with some of their lore and not a lot of character development, but what they would act like together as a happy cute couple.
The actual couple they’d make is…well, you’ll see. Just wanna clarify the cutie patooties you see aren’t canon…yet :3
anyways have low quality doodles
#rambles#horselore#tsp#the stanley parable#tspud#tsp narrator#tsp au#tsp stanley#stanarrator#ug!au#sorry for rambling so much and barely posting art-#I JUST GOT SO MANY THINGS I WANNA CLEAR UP AND CLARIFY#I LOVE TELLING THINGS ABOUT MY AU#MAKES ME SO EUPHORIC#and yes i’ll get to the HOLY FUCK A FAT ASS FLY FLEW RHGHT NEXY TO MY EAR#anyways#ahem#and yes i’ll get to the Nar questions and other questions about my AU soon#but i love talking about the functions and shit#and setting up plot devices#like if i randomly introduce something#its probably important#just saying teehee#anyways it’s like 1:53am for me so ima hop off tumblr#but YESSS au world building is so fun#thats why i love questions#world building and it helps me clear up plotholes and shit#so ask me thingies about my world 🥺#sorry if you did and i haven’t answered it yet i’m forgetful#OKAY TO BED I GO
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I love free will. I can just do stuff. Like you know what? I was happy about something, so I looked up the person who made me happy and found her public contact info and sent them an email saying that she’s cool and awesome. Like woah. I can just go and tell people they’re cool. What a lovely world.
#chaoticbuggybitchboy#btw i was watching Alaskan dinosaurs on nova because im autistic#and I was like holy shit that’s the first like gender fucky person with bright hair I’ve seen on one of these shows#and I was like dude i gotta look them up#and I did and found her website and yes that’s a gender fucky person on a Dino show#and I sent her a message being like hi trans person I’m also trans it’s really cool that you’re doing stuff like that#like I’m nearly 18 and in the last decade plus no trans people at all#anyways yeah her name is Riley Black very cool
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kung fu panda four my beloved, they could never make me hate you
#i have no idea what’s everyone’s beef with this movie but i’ve always been a HUGE kp fan (the second movie is my religion)#and given the majority of comments/reviews i read online before watching the movie i entered the cinema expecting the devil incarnate and…#it turned out to be a good movie????? and a really good one i dare to say??????#and yes it’s not on the same level of the first two (and tbh who would ever expect that) but holy sHIT#some of you painted it as the worst movie ever and like. it is not???#i even found the fox girl enjoyable despite having my doubts at first#and i could go into heavy detail but it’s late and that’s not important#i’m just happy we had a good sequel..bye!!#kung fu panda#kung fu panda 4
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Watching s4 ep13 of The X Files
___
Tattoo lady: *speaks*
Me: 😳
Tattoo lady: *whispers huskily in surround sound directly into my headphones*
Me: okay whooooooooo the fuck is that and why does she sound so hot
Me: *looks up the episode imdb*
Me: oh. well that explains everything.
#it’s only the hottest woman alive#Jodie fuckin Foster#I was questioning my sexuality (again) there for a second 💀#I mean like I’m *ace* but I’d do anything she asked#also ummmmm Mulder when Scully says ‘this is my life’ and you say ‘yes but it’s m—‘#FINISH YOUR FUCKING SENTENCE NEXT TIME#CUZ HOLY SHIT I WAS ABOUT TO JUMP OUT OF MY SEAT FOR JOY BUT NOOOOOOOO#😭😭😭😭😭#anyways wow what an episode#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#🎶song sings🎶
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vent
did not expect kissing and realizing i’m lowkey dating a guy to send me down an existential spiral of reminding me that i have only one life to live and then i am going to die without living any other different lives
#but i’ve been wasting time not exploring at all!!#doesn’t have to be a forever person it’s just an experience#but still#it’s really weird and idk!!!!#and if i date this guy fr i would have to like go on birth control probably and holy shit i do NOT want more medication#and what if i meet someone else?#i don’t exactly want to commit y’know???#but i’m halfway through my twenties and i don’t know how much time i actually have and if i think about it too long i hyperventilate#which WOULDN’T HAPPEN if i was just continuing on with being safe and alone!!#and what about women?? i love women!#but when i really love something or someone i go crazy about it#i lose myself#so maybe realistic and neutral is better?#am i neutral?#i don’t fucking know and my friends for the most part aren’t quite grasping what i’m trying to say#like yes i overthink and yes it might not be that deep to anyone else including the guy#but it NEEDS to be that deep. to me.#because that’s how my brain fucking works.#i don’t take shit lightly and i never have#that’s why i’m better off alone#or with people who are also deeply unchill#but this guy is so chill! and it does make me feel comfortable!#but it’s also like bro is this conversion therapy am i conversion therapying myself?#my entire identity for more than a decade has been based off being single and independent#and the lapses in that are times in my life that i see myself as unambiguously pathetic and embarassing#with men and women#i feel like a fucking unsocialized semiferal cat that wants affection but also doesn’t know how to accept it#and do i even want it? or is it want i know i should want or what would be good for me so im just slowly forcing myself into it?#it’s so much easier. so much simpler. to not have to freak out about this stuff.#sorry for venting i know it’s annoying it’s just fuck man…
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My friend just made me download Airbuds how do I explain me listening to the entire Hamilton track
#I hate this app already#music is literally supposed to be my private time#this doesn’t feel so private#I feel so vulnerable rn#I hate it sm#like you don’t understand#I thought the question ‘who’s your favorite artist?’ was bad this is actually ten times worse#I’m actually going to freak out over this#does anyone know a way around this#urgently#help a girl out#but like actually#seriously#I’m not joking if you know please tell me#this is stressing me out so much wtf#I feel so restricted#tw anxiety#music#airbuds#who invented this app holy shit I’m gonna come for you#pjo#kotlc#yes I’m tagging that I need this to reach people urgently#i need to calm down#and touch some grass maybe#but in a minute#music is therapy#therapy is confidential#THERAPY IS CONFIDENTIAL LEAVE ME ALONE#Hamilton
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i hate how entitled I end up feeling bc this is my sentiment but . Really really resenting that my parents aren’t going to help me with school or rent or anything while they super can
#230k income and they say they can’t afford to help. bull fucking shit#I work full time and make 30k a year and my mom said#and I quote#‘that’s it?’#YES THATS FUCKING IT HOLY SHIT?#I had to beg her to help with medical expenses for the cat she LEFT US WITH#and she says her and my dad can barely afford their house but she has never had access to their financials#so how would she know all of a sudden#I don’t know I’m struggling and I’m making a budget spreadsheet and I don’t have time for hobbies trying to do both work and school#and it makes me so angry because all my friends get help from their parents and mine just. I don’t know#I feel abandoned and hurt because it was like my mom and us against the world but she chose my dad in the end and that meant shutting us out#like whatever it is what it is. but it’s also not and I have so much hurt and anger pent up because I feel fed to the fucking wolves#btw out of their 3 kids I’m the only one they would have to pay ANY tuition for#and I’m going to a state school in the state which I was born and currently live. it would not be financially devastating.#(for them.)#fafsa is going to give me nothing unless I get married to my boyfriend so I can be an independent#bc fafsa is so fucking awful and is like mmmmm your parents will pay :) but they WONT THATS THE FUCKING POINT
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