#and i’m also so happy for this version of me

[cullenbluewrites]

Hello! Remember me? Hi, happy new year. I have returned because recently thought of a TF Animated version of this specific brand of shenanigans.

Basically, Sari, being part Cybertronian herself, would probably be able to make Sparkling Distress Cries™ with zero effort (I’m thinking of this pre-reveal so they don’t know she’s Cybertronian). Would this give the autobots the mechanical equivalent of an aneurysm? Probably. Would it have devastating effects on the Decepticons (who have not seen newsparks since LONG before their banishment)? Absolutely. Does Sari use this power responsibly? Fuuuuck no.

* She does it at the constructicons (who have never even heard of a sparkling) and the autobots come to the rescue… only to find the two cons on the floor begging her to stop the guilt is killing them. If they were human they’d be crying inconsolably.

* Lugnut’s reaction was a shocker. She did it at him mid battle (he was just about to use The Punch) and he just freezes, then VERY SLOWLY lowers himself down in an attempt to seem non threatening and tries to soothe what he has decided is a very strangely shaped sparkling (and not a frame walker because he is NOT dealing with that. No thank you Unicron).

* Blackarachnia doesn’t really know how to handle the situation. She’s quietly trying to sooth Sari and also trying to check if the child is a fellow techno organic as gently and politely as she can. (The fact she was correct is an irony not lost on any of team prime).

* Blitzwing was also caught mid fight, and he just flat out panicked. He just instinctively scooped Sari up and tried to shuffle away from the battlefield/out of danger while Sari continued to make ‘I’m being murdered’/‘this is the scariest moment of my life’ sounds. Blitz honestly looks like he’s gone into shock, all three faces are Alarmed™. The Autobots drop their weapons and have to cajole the panicked triple changer into please giving them THEIR sparkling back. He eventually does and then books it. Sari appreciated that his first instinct was to try protecting her at least.

* Starscream (mid battle, naturally) seems to quite loudly go through all the different stages of grief (while panicking), before just nopenopeNOOOPE-ing his way out of there. He doesn’t know how to deal with this and it’s making him feel a lot of emotions. And maybe a bit depressed? And you know what maybe the clones he planned on making shouldn’t be used as disposable soldiers, they deserved more than that, they came from him after all! Frag it he’s starting a seeker colony on that uninhabited red planet nearby and NO HE DOES NOT HAVE EMPTY NEST SYNDROME shut up.

* Shockwave, if he encountered her, would just be like “huh. Fellow shapeshifter, but small and very young”, move her to once side (near a food source, he’s a professional and he has standards) and continue on his way.

* Megatron feels immensely conflicted about the whole situation. He doesn’t particularly like the fact this organic? (he’s pretty sure that’s an organic. Maybe. Maybe not) is somehow able to sound like a newborn in apparently excruciating pain. He also wants to at least try and sooth it, which is a weird sensation. This is a strange situation, he’s not used to this. He’s… he’s going to call a tactical retreat. This is giving him a processor ache now.

The result back in the Decepticon base is Prof Sumdac watching the constructions having a mental breakdown, Megatron nursing a headache and asking him where the pit he got his progeny from, a rather baffled looking Lugnut, and Blitzwing depressed in the corner because he ended up also getting empty nest syndrome and is handling it badly. Sumdac feels a bit sorry for them.

——

Bonus is her doing it at the Elite Guard to fuck with them. She makes a series of Pissed Off Sparkling chitter at them (aka the ‘leave my guardians the pit alone’ noises). Ultra Magnus just blue screens for a minute or two because What? Jazz backs off but emphatically requests an explanation because organics shouldn’t be able to do that, right? Right? The Jettwins pause for a moment, before deciding to Not Question It™ and chitter back at her. Sentinel shrieks “Frame Walker!!” and runs away screaming. Bumblebee seizes his moment and proceeds to chase him around with her. Optimus… doesn’t have it in him to stop them. This is karma.

I got the image of the Jack, Miko and Rafael learning to imitate Distressed/terrified Sparkling cries and using them against the decepticons. It’s a very efficient defense mechanism. Every cybertronian who heard them is freaking out because oh primus how is the squishy thing making that noise and I gotta protect it at all costs. The sheer chaos that would ensue as the ‘protect/rescue the sparkling’ programming kicks in full force.

——

The vehicons are clustered at the other end of the room panicking. They don’t know what to do. The human sparklings are looking right at them and making distress noises. The guilt is killing them.

Knockout going “is the car form less alarming?! If I turn into a car will you stop seeing me as the threat?!”

Breakdown is having a breakdown.

Starscream pinned to the wall on the other side of the room having an internal crisis. He doesn’t like this. Make it stop.

Soundwave makes no noise but you can FEEL the sheer distress radiating off of him.

Megatron is frozen. No thoughts, head empty. He’s not moving at all. He doesn’t know how to handle this.

——

The autobots have mixed feelings about this. They’re glad the kids have a way of defending themselves but please don’t do it near them. They’re stressed out enough as it is.

(This might sound kinda dumb but I thought it was kinda funny. Very tired while writing this)

Wait no this is actually brilliant.

The Decepticons never anticipated their long buried parental nature to be used against them. No one did. But they day the human children turned up on the battlefield looking far too confident, every Bot and Con present had the all encompassing feeling that something was terribly wrong. Their suspicions were quickly confirmed when, before the Decepticons could do much of anything to get the relics they were after, Rafael began to wail.

Normally, human screams meant nothing. But there was a certain pitch that sounded so close to a cry of distress from a sparkling that, to warriors who had not heard a sparkling in millennia, it was enough to send them running to help. In this case, the issue was only compounded as the children scattered like mice and started making the same noises. The Decepticons could hardly focus on the Autobots booking it to the relics as they frantically tried to locate the fictitious sparklings calling for aid.

The Vehicons managed to get to Jack, but he just kept looking up at them defiantly. Every time one of the dozen or so Vehicons on the field tried to grab him, blast him, or otherwise hurt him, Jack would chirp like a sparkling and send all of them scurrying back. It wasn't cute to the Vehicons. Having never seen actual sparklings but still having the coding needed to adore them, they looked at Jack and saw a weird frame-walker. They weren't sure what to do about it except try to haul themselves away while also keeping a vague circle around the human male.

Miko on the other hand made it a point to chase after Megatron and Soundwave, screeching like a sparkling about to be shredded. Neither stopped for her, but Megatron completely lost his train of thought every time that screech rang out. He could have been aiming at Optimus with a perfect head shot and he would be unable to fire as Miko's distressed sounds rang out in his audials. He KNEW she wasn't a sparking. His coding wasn't even that strong. But by Primus, hearing her screech was the same as watching a civilian get run over by a bus, repeatedly. Focus was impossible.

Soundwave wasn't much better. He didn't react outwardly, but the slowing of his steps and the way he tried to sidestep Miko gave away his distress. He avoided her like the plague, trying to refocus but being unable to really get far as Miko screamed like a demon. It was a fight against the Unmaker himself to keep Soundwave from bolting over to collect the sparkling who sounded so very upset.

Rafael, for his part, followed Miko's lead and harassed the other three members of High Command most often found out on the field. Breakdown ran screaming the moment Rafael started chirping at him. This was both out of fear of the frame-walker and to escape the inevitable overreaction of his coding. He may or may not have attempted parkour once or twice to get as far away from the smallest of the humans as possible.

Knockout tried to ignore Rafael when the kid chirped up at him, he really really did. But how does one ignore the Cybertronian equivalent of a soaking wet kitten meowing up at you? Simply put: you don't. Knockout gave in and quickly dropped down to try and soothe the non-existent sparkling every. single. time. Rafael pulled his noise trickery. He never fails to panic and attempt to flash colorful things at Rafael to get him to stop. Every Decepticon has since been endlessly disappointed in him.

Starscream, being terrified of things that really shouldn't be there, took the skies the instant the trio began screeching. Nope. Not today Unicron. He'll get the mission done or get the heck out of dodge to avoid coding coming online. He doesn't need empty nest syndrome on top of a crippling case of "I Love Power." He also doesn't need to deal with the horrific mental image of a squishy somehow managing to sound like a sparkling. Nope. Nope. NOPE.

The Autobots are grateful the kids can protect themselves a bit now. But by Primus, they have known NO peace since the kids figured it all out.

[gothamite-rambler]

Karen (holding a purse with a broken strap): Hey! Hey! You owe me my five hundred bucks!

Red Robin (sighing): No.

Karen: No?! You little brat!

Red Robin (dryly): I'm in my twneties.

Karen: Don't care, Batman, arrest him! Or like, punish him!

Batman stood on the side, eating a sandwich, looking around confused, then continued eating his sandwich pretty much checked out for the night. He had a different mission and it was slow for the night.

Red Robin: I got your purse back. Why are you mad at me?

Karen (shouting): The strap is broken!

Red Robin: Because I had to fight the snatcher for it! Then I returned it back to you! I'm not asking for a thanks, but you have to understand mistakes happen!

Karen: This is a Marc Jacobs bag, okay? Mistakes don't excuse that! This is worth so much money!

Batman walked over to the group and examined the purse.

Batman: This is a knock-off. The straps aren't that thin and don’t break easily. The stitch work is off and Marc Jacobs doesn't sell purple versions of this.

Red Robin: I didn’t want to point that out, but yeah, you have a counterfeit purse. Which is fine.

Batman (rich man opinion): It’s really not.

Red Robin (upper middle class opinion): Not everyone can afford the expensive name brand.

Batman: Saving money is a thing.

Red Robin: Would you take a walk!

Batman walked off, indifferent to the situation while continuing to eat his sandwich.

Karen (in denial): It’s not a knock-off or counterfeit! I’ll have you know my cousin knows a guy who sells these, and he said they are a hundred percent authentic.

Red Robin: Looks real, obviously fake, don’t care. Can I just pay you back and then you leave?

Karen: You— Wait, really?

Red Robin sighed, pulling out a large stack of paper money and handed the woman double what she was demanding. Karen took the money, surprised.

Karen: Oh… Well, I’m not thanking you. Here, you keep the damaged one! I took out all my valuables!

Karen stormed off, eager to score a thousand dollars. Red Robin held onto the purse and sighed, exhausted.

Red Robin (regretting some of his life choices at the moment): The purse sells for two hundred dollars, and I gave her a thousand… I better get some good karma from this.

Spoiler walked over, humming a song from Epic the Musical. Upon seeing the purse, she perked up.

Spoiler (taking the purse and looking it over): This is nice! I've never seen one of these up close! My ma's cousin Michelle has one and she's always rubbing it in our faces that she can afford one. The lady who lost this bling is lucky.

Red Robin: Nope, she pitched a fit because the strap broke when I yanked it from the thief. She didn't have to curse me out. Also, it's a knock-off.

Spoiler (not caring as she put her arm through the shorter straps): Knock-off, smock-off, this is nice. Purple too, now I can have my tumbler match my bag! Oh wait, can I keep it?

Red Robin: The strap is broken.

Spoiler (checking the broken strap): Boy, please! My ma has a sewing machine. But to be fair, the short straps are still intact. It's so spacious too. Please let me keep it, or I'll buy it off you.

Red Robin (shrugging): It's yours. Happy birthday or whatever.

Spoiler grinned happily and then hugged Red Robin.

Spoiler: And my ma said you can't be friends with your exes.

Red Robin: To be fair, her ex is Cluemaster.

Spoiler shrugged, walking off with her new purse while Red Robin followed her, smiling at her energy.

[utilitycaster]

Here’s my C3 hot take: I think Matt just messed up. I think att just didn’t do a good job DMing this one, and I’m sad but I don’t think the players could have solved the problems entirely on their own. The lack of a session zero makes no sense, but more to the point I think Matt just has to much Catholic Trauma tm to have told this story. His blind spot to religion v. Personal worship in his world building is to big to stick this one. His excitement about the culmination of these narratives after 9 years made him play story beats to close to his chest looking to surprise and shock his players, and also, because he was so tied to it, he didn’t pivot, or change the story to guide the players through. The pacing, especially at the beginning feels like he was entirely to excited to get to the clever plot.

Honestly… and this makes me sad, a lot of the issues feel like he sort of started believing his own mythology. I am so happy for him to be self confident but this all feels like a story guided by someone who thinks their terribly clever and so don’t have to rely on the same level of hard work, collaboration, prep, planning etc. of previous works (and also wanted to be novel, I just think of their original campaign announcement where they said “anything might happen” and sigh a little).

My bit of hope? That’s a really easy thing to come back from! I hope they reflect and improve going forward!

p.s. this isn’t to say the others couldn’t have made things BETTER, they could have, for sure.

Hi anon,

I disagree with most of this. Most crucially, this is not the form of campaign I think would come of Catholic religious trauma. Matt's mentioned he was raised nominally Catholic but he's also mentioned his parents were artists, hippies, and D&D players, and he seems to be on pretty good terms with them. I think this is a vast overstep on your part that came from basically nowhere, especially since the logical outcome of a Catholic Trauma campaign would in fact be one that actually did portray Vasselheim as a vast controlling force within the world regulating the worship of the gods across it. A pretty massive hole in the worldbuilding, at least as this campaign demands we see it, is that we really haven't seen religion as an oppressive force except in one highly specific case, and even that was spearheaded by mortals and not the gods and is indistinguishable from a purely political land grab. Like, the blind spot you mention is actually a sign that he was not raised particularly religious; someone who was raised strictly Catholic would be extremely aware of religion as a highly organized hierarchy with clear rules and a vast worldwide network and not "a few missionaries who didn't kill anyone or even forcibly convert anyone, Vasselheim seen as a good meeting spot for a worldwide conference, and Ludinus's grievances are all highly personal." Like, the Catholic Trauma version of Exandria has Vasselheim at war with the Empire for their banning of half of the prime deities, or going full Inquisition/Crusade on Hearthdell.

I want to be clear: when I accuse fans of projecting religious trauma it's because they outright have said shit like "I always like when a narrative kills the gods bc I'm a white southerner who was raised Christian". I do not say it just because they are affiliated with a specific religious denomination.

I also don't think the issue is so much believing his own mythology as much as the one major correct thing you said, which is the lack of not just a session zero but a heavy hand in character development, coupled with a very specific plot he wanted for this campaign. Campaign 1 worked because he tailored a campaign heavily to the interests and stories of the characters, and built a world around them. Campaign 2 similarly allowed for that same give-and-take; characters like Trent and Uk'otoa and Marion and the Gentleman came from the backstories the players came up with. Some of the players' ideas were changed as part of that heavier hand in character creation. The guidance for that campaign (morally gray and complex) was actually accurate, and when the characters took a sharp turn away from the planned story, Matt was able to pivot quite gracefully.

The problem really is that it's clear Matt had a very developed vision of this campaign and didn't realize that the characters of Bells Hells largely failed to fit within it. I don't think hard work wasn't done (I think there was in fact a TON of prep that we haven't seen, eg, I 100% believe Matt has an extensive amount of work done on Otohan, Ozo Cruth, Marquet, the Apex War, etc that Bells Hells simply did not see); I think, in fact, that like three hours of work that probably would have resulted in scrapping or drastically changing the characters to fit the intended story would have fixed the vast majority of problems here. It is only, frankly, because the characters are such a bad fit that the issues we're talking about (little establishment of organized religion vs. personal practice) even became issues! But it's literally that - it's not realizing that even a longform campaign can live or die on character creation. It might even be that too much prep was done ahead of time and he was too unwilling to abandon it.

[whentherewerebicycles]

my baby is eight months old and every month of his wonderful little life has been better and more joyful than the last (which is saying something, because every month has been so good). he is still very Baby but he is also suddenly blossoming into a little kid before my eyes and it’s so much to handle 😭 he has always been an expressive talker but these days he has the most delightfully animated little conversations with himself, full of complex baby feelings like surprise and delight and shock and glee and of course spluttering indignation (you would not BELIEVE the wrongs done to angelic little babies these days! they have to take naps in their CRIBS!!). he laughs and gasps and hoots and fake coughs, and then he looks at you with a sly little expression to see if you think he’s funny. he is silliest with me by far (he still gets a bit shy and reserved around new people) but he also absolutely adores Liz & A and his nanny and breaks into the most bashful gummy little grin as soon as they walk into a room. he is still bald as an egg but NOT FOR LONG, as he wakes up every morning with more dark fuzz on his big round noggin. this month he learned to sit up and now he wants to be sitting up playing with his toys all the time (he is over the moon to have discovered a mother-approved alternative to accursed tummy time). he has developed strong preferences for certain toys along with the motor skills to select the objects he wants, and he is quite discerning—last week’s toys are so last week and he gets an impatient expression on his face if you try to entice him with formerly beloved objects that are just like sooooo over, mom, pleaseee don’t embarrass him in front of his friends (the dogs). speaking of the dogs it is his most cherished desire to pat them but they give him a wide berth except for the occasional facewash sneak attack. he spends a lot of time bouncing up and down in his seat reaching longingly for them while they ignore him completely. he has the chonkiest most solid little baby feet you have ever seen in your life and little fat bow legs that curve down to his chonky little feet and perfect fat little baby hands that he loves to slam repeatedly against his tray or his mat or your face. he has one little razor-sharp sliver of a front bottom tooth and I genuinely CANNOT handle it, it is just too much, he gives you his square little gummy smile and then you see the TOOTH and you’re like that’s it, I’m dead, this killed me. he had perfectly shaped little orecchiette ears when he was born and I am delighted to report that they remain absolutely perfect and when you nibble on them he acts like you’re tickling him and does his little turtle-in-a-shell teeheehee reaction. I would say that his basic temperament is the same but perhaps tends more towards a happiness default than the reserved watchfulness of previous months. he is still quite watchful—in all the daycare videos I get he is sitting with the big kids observing them play with a totally focused expression—but he is also delightfully silly and laughs a lot, especially at home. if he’s not hungry and has napped reasonably well, he is easygoing, adaptable, and game for pretty much whatever. he is such a good sleeper I can’t tell anyone in my offline life about it except liz whose baby is also a unicorn sleeper… but honestly I think that’s probably the root of his default good mood (if I slept 12 hours a night I’d also be the best possible version of myself). let’s see what else… idk this month has just been so fun. he’s just a little person now and I genuinely enjoy hanging out with him. I just think he rocks.

his favorite toy in this exact moment: his stacking cups, especially when you put a plastic ball inside of them for him to tip out onto the floor. his most beloved object: his squishmallow, of course, which sends him into transports of delight when he sees it. his favorite food: with the exception of arugula this child has never met a food he didn’t like. he LIVES to EAT. words his daycare teacher most frequently uses to describe him: “Owen is SOOOO hungry!!!” other favorite activities this month: kicking in the bath or in the pool, watching trees go by on car rides, slamming his hands as hard as he can against his high chair tray, watching the dogs wrestle, being swung slowly back and forth like the pendulum in a giant clock, gazing at his beautiful reflection in the mirror, kissing his beautiful reflection in the mirror, having mom make his squish swoop down from high above to CHOMP him, chewing on the edges of plastic bins, and scritch-scratching the rock wall outside of our house. he’s perfect. my beloved little kiddo.

[lifenconcepts]

I absolutely agree with that and am SO happy to find someone similar to me!! I’ve never been one to hate on the shit another finds good but the popularised versions of identities being this half which is just sunshine and rainbows always feels a little unjustified for how much those same people which say ‘embrace the weird! Be yourself! Love others!!’ and say they support those which unapologetically go against what social norm has been formed, suddenly go from all kind to ‘yuck! How can you say that? That doesn’t seem right.. you’re not one of us!’ the very moment you mention you support real fur instead of faux, that hunting and genuinely mauling your food with your hands is okay, feel angry when another animal marks your home or vehicle, or any other variation of not being the ‘aesthetic therian’ others so believe is the ‘only’ way of being alterhuman.

The exact definition that’s been burned into our brains like a branding has gotten boring! There’s no right way to be yourself, because you’re the only one who knows what you actually look like! And no matter how much I see ‘alterhumanity is different for everyone’ I still tend to think that not all really get that into their brains. They take in the words but not the MEANING behind them. I want others to just blatantly face the facts that some find it nice, prefered in fact, to just want to be able to think and act like an animal. None of that explanation of why and how. (I love to find meaning behind everything but that’s simply because my soul craves knowledge) I too sometimes believe it to be great for the simplicity of a creature’s mind. You can enjoy harming another life without some twisted sense of pleasure (although that’s also fine. Huntings dogs were bred to hunt. Ofcourse they will be happy to hunt), to go where you walk simply because it’s what feels right (why must you understand the journey or destination in mind when birds migrate simply by how it feels and where is better? They don’t think ‘oh gee! It’s the 8th of September! I must get going to Portugal otherwise I may not survive the cold!’ Their minds subconsciously gather the temperature change and just vaguely understand they need to fucking go some place warm), and it feels irritating to fight for this in a community that claims to support and understand eachother alot- BUT ANIMALS DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES! They don’t! They don’t decide to just casually start feeling some way and try change to be that, no! They feel a way, and so they are that. And that may change, it may be wrong, but who cares!? Emotion is emotion and sensation is sensation. Whatever feeling comes along then it’s that feeling which is invoked. This makes more sense with examples but I just had to get it off my chest.

You won’t find a flying squirrel explaining to another ‘look, I just don’t feel enough like a rodent enough because I’ve seen the air like the birds and bugs, perhaps I’m not made for this body because I love the air as must as the trees. Is it so wrong?’ No. It’s just living as it fucking needs to, eats shits walks and floats, and will die when it needs to. Our human minds allow for a lot more to do and various things to come of it, but they also are just so much of a plague of questions that assault simple activities. Ah- I could go on for hours, but everyone needs to know that an alterhuman will be alterhuman even if they don’t explain themselves. Maybe someone misunderstood themselves but to what extent does it even matter? Maybe it’s chosen maybe it’s involuntary but why are you policing another? Is life showing any sign of rules? Sure, patterns exist, and there may be exceptions for moral wrong doing, but in the end it’s always up to subjective perception to decide what is right for you. We already have human-made rules, it’s called the law. Don’t kill or abuse others, don’t steal and destroy another’s property, and the rest is up to your grubby little hands to decide (some laws are idiotic I will admit).  And I needed to get this out for a long time but damn it- ALLOW others to exist without a label! Allow yourself to go unlabelled! It’s a common practice but it’s not as neccesary! Do you know how much agony you’ll be spared if you stop going ‘well how much of a Therian am I? What counts as Otherkin? Have I experienced any symptoms of So-and-so in the past month?’ And rather spot what makes you feel better in your body, what brings happiness, and what you do often. The cause ain’t even all that neccesary to understand unless you want to. Just focus on what you feel like and what you want to see in yourself and then you can go all ‘let’s find a word for this’. Honestly. The English language has already so many words, and that’s not even taking into account those which grown lost with time. You really think newly-made terms don’t hold as much value? Or that a single word must explain your own mind and body? Your soul is boundless, but able to be gazed upon at times. So why limit yourself to fit into a new box just to claim you ‘escaped the system!!’ as you once more alter yourself and grow bound to mere words and a fear for others judging you.

Okay that’s a bit off topic now, thanks for the opportunity to ramble, but yeah. Let animals be animals. And animals don’t need to explain themselves, they can blatantly do whatever feels good or right at the moment without it having define their entire existence or life. Animals can be dirty, mean, confusing, nasty, dangerous, scary, but still have nice qualities. And even if not, it is not their fault.

Never ever mistake me. I am not just in favor of the uwu romantic version Being An Animal. It's not all moodboards and waxing poetic about tails/wings/etc and running in the forest wild and free. All of that stuff is GOOD and FINE and a nice outlet for all flavors of nonhumans, please do not stop engaging with that sort of thing. I'm talking about me also wanting to embrace the gross and so-called ugly and less fortunate aspects of animality. like when you're wrestling a large prey animals into submission so you can eat that day but it fuckin Gets You with a claw/antler/horn/hoof/beak/etc and suddenly you're hurt real bad. Lost an eye, a toe, half your tail. Got a permanent limp from being stomped so hard that will make hunting difficult so you may not live your full natural lifespan. dying of severe cold or heat and then your body decomposing slowly, being food for other things. scent marking with piss, shit, musk. being young and inexperienced so you go without food for days cuz you can't hunt for shit.

there is no part of animality that is something I don't desire. I want it all, because all of me is animal. does it suck to downgrade from human sized complex brain to smaller wolverine brain? No not really! I am not mourning the loss of things I never asked for in the first place. sure I could say that woo, less complex brain means less capacity for things to go wrong, but that is a very human lens to look through. does a wolverine know it's "lucky" that it cannot have certain human mental illnesses because its brain may not be that complex? no, and that's why I'm not worried. I could turn into one fully physically overnight and then die stupidly 2 years later and that would still be ideal. sure I also may romanticize some things in ways that are not really Natural for my species, like how I think places that feel like Home just seem so beautiful to me, but no damn animal is perfect. I am allowed a couple flaws. several, in fact, lmao.

I Crave It All

[delulustateofmind]

Okay so like, this is going to be a long one but I’ve been dying to know more and more and I just need to keep asking because the lore is crazy addictive lol. So in “it’s all your fault, isn’t it?” Does reader ends up becoming indifferent? Empty, broken, whatever you want to call it, is it like she’s not really there anymore? You know when sometimes they present mentally sick woman in films as those unresponsive detached ones. I wonder if she’s like that. I imagine her becoming numb as you’ve mentioned, but to the point she doesn’t even talk or do anything besides sitting around and staring into space. Could you get a little into explaining how do you think she behaves in the years after the accident?

Also, how do Satoru and Suguru react? Are they worried about her or more about the fact she’s not really interested in them anymore? Or do they mostly focus on each other and just want her around as a broodmare (I recall someone using this term haha). Did she stop loving them at some point? And are they craving her love? It makes me wonder that if she in fact goes completely indifferent does it make them desperate for her to show some type of affection. Lastly (I’m sorry for such a long ask and so many questions 😭) do you think Satoru and Suguru would fight/blame each other for it? Or once again, do they think she’s the problem.

I have so many questions considering this trilogy it’s honestly my favorite of yours and I want to know every little detail I hope it’s not too much! Thank you for your work🙏🏼

It’s never too much! I’m so glad you like it enough to keep asking <3 If you want to crawl into my noggin and explore all the silly lore files, that’s totally okay. I’ll just place you right next to the thoughts of silly Calico Critters and Smiskis by the one brain cell.

Anyway…

Yeah, she would become really, really numb after that. To the point where they actually have her medicated for depression. It helps a little, but she’s not going back to her regular self, even if they have one or two more kids. Reader becomes way too afraid of getting attached, of even thinking a negative thought (though, honestly, it’s not like a curse would survive long in the Gojo compound). She’s more detached and numb to the world than anything.

Satoru does his best to make her laugh, even taking her and the kids to Disneyland. She just gave him a small smile and a kiss on the cheek. This behavior hits Satoru the hardest because he saw Reader from the very beginning as this happy, cheerful person, and now she’s become so obedient and docile. But he doesn’t say anything. For one, he’s emotionally constipated, and for two, Suguru looks happy.

For Suguru, he’s much more content with this version of Reader. He likes how you’re more attuned to his touches now—how he can just pull you onto his lap, and you snuggle right in. Sure, there’s a difference, but for him, he prefers this. He describes it as you being “more at peace,” even though it’s really just numbness. He’d take that over the nights where you were shouting at him to let you leave, or when you were constantly trying to escape. Now, you’re like a tamed cat in his eyes, and he didn’t even have to resort to unsavory methods to get there.

Sure, they know you don’t love them, but you’re no longer indifferent to their love. You just… accept it. They can pull reactions out of you during sex; they can hold you whenever they please. You’re not as snappy anymore. With the medication, you’re more loopy than anything, and sometimes, you even show an ounce of a smile in that state. Satoru likes to watch you sleep when he gets the chance because, in those moments, he sometimes sees your real smile. You seem more at peace there.

(Sorry, I’m rambling at this point.)

There’s no real blame, at least not between Satoru and Suguru. The kids, though, blame their mother for turning out this way and see her as sick now. They end up with some serious mommy issues. Satoru doesn’t blame Suguru—he knows they’re both equally at fault for this. Ultimately, though, they’re just happy you’re no longer fighting them. They’d rather have you numb and peaceful than fighting them constantly and crying all the time.

Hope that helps! If you have more questions, feel free to send them my way—they’re always welcome <3

[lotus-pear]

i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

[exxpelliarrmus]

i think i fixed it and i won’t cry on shrooms next time

[ohbuggy]

Sobbing,,, that lore drop was something huh?

[lunarcrown]

OLLD drawing I can share now of Timmy after recovery and care from staying on double life and being looked after by the box boys~

He’s healthier, happier, his hair and wings have grown back out and have a pretty blue-black sheen to them (that he never knew he had bc in hels his diet and environment only let them be dull) and he just heard the sound of a portal opening for someone to come visit~!

[betterthanbatman1]

Jason Todd Red Beanie appreciation post

[kinokoshoujoart]

oops all rock (springtime edition)

i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…

could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)

[royaltea000]

[jttw oc] cursed to be an obligate carnivore, ate his entire family one particularly bad winter

[akkivee]

ghost ichiro who is very interested in his brand of world domination with kuukou and ghost kuukou who is confused by the affection and as any kuukou does when uncertain, they withdraw LOL

[ninyard]

remembered today I have a Jeremy Knox board on Pinterest that I can add canon things to now

[j-nor]

Hey. Grisps you.