#and i was so shocked? because i thought that was the regular assumption?

[lover-of-mine]

.

[shazdemon]

How Harry meets Tom....

It is a tiny person, the first glance reveals. A firstie? Amusement overtakes curiosity. Ofcourse. A curious litte baby snake, from the color on his robes. Well, this will be easy enough. He continues forward.

The dark brown that meets his green knocks the breath out of his chest. He is unprepared, wholly, completely, utterly lost for what's in front of him.

Tom Marvolo Riddle. Lord Voldemort.

His lungs cannot pull in enough air, his magic tightening up into a pulsing core, static crackling for one second between his fingers. He pulls them into a tight fist and calls forth every Occlumency practice he has ever had the displeasure of experiencing, an attempt to quell the rising tides of now unfamiliar emotion crashing like waves through him.

Tom fucking Riddle. The firstie encroaching into his private library table.

Lord Voldemort. His what? Future study buddy? He almost laughs out loud at the absurd thought.

Dark eyes have never let go of his own yet. He forces in a steady yet deep breath, trying to replenish the lack of oxygen since his body apparently forgot how to breathe for the last ten? fifteen? seconds.

And Tom Riddle still looks at him, stares, he has not blinked once.

"Hello, I am Harry Potter. Regular occupant of this table for the last four years, hopeful occupant for the next three. And you?"

Vs how Tom meets Harry

It had been maybe an hour before he was interrupted and for a second he is outraged as his newfound secret hideaway is disturbed.

He looks up and the outrage mellows to curiosity at the look in the others eyes. Eyes that seem to widen as if in recognition.

How is that possible?

Palpable shock and surprise evident in that sharp, handsome face.

As if he knows Tom, this stranger he has never seen before, as if he has suddenly run into a familar face in an unexpected place. As if seeing Tom is so surprising that he can't breathe, he hasn't taken his eyes off of Tom's for even a second, or even blinked really.

And then Tom's eyes follow as the surprise clears from his face, giving way to acceptance, and his words surprise and shock Tom in turn.

He had been expecting to have to introduce himself, expecting the boy to rudely demand an introduction such as they had, as he had, on the train, and then, he had been expecting to be dismissed, —with an insult that Tom is unfortunately growing ever more familiar with now.

It is because of this foolish assumption that Tom is totally off guard by the words that fall out the other boys mouth.

Both were equally entertaining to imagine and translate to words ❤️❤️

(For the whole fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/55248685)

[reyesranch]

One thing I think doesn’t get talked about a lot during the discourse about the date is the assumption that Tommy knew he didn’t know he was into men. The audience assumes Tommy knows that he’s a baby bi bc we know he’s a baby bi and we’re looking at it from that lens but when buck says this is my first date with a dude Tommy looks so surprised and I think that’s when it hits him that he’s on a date with someone who hasn’t done this before. I think he’s like that’s ok I guess I can be his first and flirts his way through the ally mess. It’s when buck shoves them both into the closet that I think is when he realizes buck isn’t ready for all of that and leaves. Tommy can’t be patient bc he didn’t have all the information at first and when he got it he decided he didn’t want to pursue something with someone who’s just coming to terms with being queer and that is an ok thing to do! Everyone wants him to be patient bc they assume he asked someone he thought was in the closet out and then decided he couldn’t handle it but Tommy was shocked that buck hadn’t been on a date before bc buck was hardcore flirting with that man how was Tommy supposed to know he wasn’t doing it on purpose. Once Tommy got all the info THEN he decided he didn’t want to pressure buck into something he might not be ready for.

Agreed!

But even if Tommy did know Buck hadn’t dated guys before, it still would be valid of him to want to cut the date short because of Buck unintentionally shoving Tommy back into the closet, realizing Buck was waaay too nervous and not ready to fully embrace his queerness (which we can tell by the ally comment not once but twice) and by all means Tommy also cannot force Buck to come out, but that doesn’t mean he should feel required to date someone who wants to stay closeted.

We as fans like to infer details about characters and with Tommy it could possibly be inferred that he’s been through smth like this before, if not with someone else but maybe he was in buck’s position many times before and knows it is not a nice place to be. Tommy’s also old enough now and comfortable with himself to know what he wants and to not put himself in a situation he feels like can end badly nor does he want to put Buck through that as well.

Overall I think Tommy didn’t want to hurt himself or Buck more than just ending everything right then and there. Tommy probably assumed Buck did need to explore his sexuality more to become comfortable in himself, but instead Buck worked to fully accept this new part of himself and be comfortable with it THEN asked Tommy for another chance.

It’s literally just regular storytelling.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #26

The Battle of Big Wand... Spoiler-free and jumpin' in!

Season finale! I'm excited for this one!

I'm gonna give my very first prediction before moving on from the title screen: Dale is going to learn about Fairy World because he finds the notes Cosmo and Wanda left on his stuff during Dev's birthday.

I'd prefer he learn about Fairy World from Crocker because I thought leaving your enemy notes that outs you as a fairy and tells him all your secrets including the Big Wand as a power source is... out of character and cheap.

Me now realizing I've been acting under the assumption Dev scribbled the notes out very badly and Dale will find them, but I guess it's possible Dev could've erased them thoroughly and they were only there for audience benefit. That's... certainly one of the ways to info-dump ever.

For all I know, Dale might not even be in this episode, though I assume the notes were there for a reason. Also, Dale has definitely been set up as keeping tabs on Hazel and we're probably going to hit a major point of Dev's daddy issues arc.

Tentative prediction... Dev is put in a situation where he can only save either his dad or Hazel (maybe not save them, but assist them or betray the other) and he's going to return to being Hazel's friend at the expense of his relationship with his dad. Let's find out!

Here we go!!

Holy flippin' what on EARTH, Hazel has made more wishes in 1 season with a regular timestream than Timmy did in 8 seasons after freezing it for 50 years.

GIRL, ARE YOU OKAY??

Me when those numbers were counting up: Wanda stop Wanda stop Wanda stop- HAZEL?!?

What the fffliiiip...

Is she going to Wishing Well?? I feel like she might need to. I have to assume that's not the direction we're going, but... ???

Wishing Well's whole thing is that godkids get sent there if they become too reliant on wishing, so they can practice doing things for themselves. I don't think Hazel's too reliant, but I'm really caught off guard. That's a heckuva thing to drop on us with no foreshadowing whatsoever. Not long ago, she hit her 100th wish, right?

That said... I'm willing to let this slide. In "Lost and Founder's Day," Hazel happily wished for good things to come to other kids. 4.5 months later ("Operation: Birthday Takeback"), Cosmo and Wanda confirm Hazel "can" wish for other kids, and I assume she probably has been.

I would've liked to see that onscreen if that's true, though. It's not really been a thing.

- I think I understand why Dale's obsessed with Hazel losing him money by granting people happiness for the price of free now. -> Dale, you should've told me! I would've been shocked and concerned right there with you. She's robbing you blind! This whole city is robbing you blind! -> Unpopular opinion, but if Hazel has secretly made 1 million wishes by somehow not making people lose money when they buy Dimmadome products... first of all, that would be hilarious, and secondly, I think Dale would be justified in saying "hey. wtf." - No, no… please continue. I think we should definitely mess with the guy who has trauma about having no control over his life and lived 7 years being unable to get himself out of it. We should totally destroy his ability to make progress after engaging in hard work and consistent action. I wanna see where they're going with this. - what if Dale isn't the antagonist and the real antagonist is Fairy World stressed that Hazel's draining the Big Wand's power?

[cnt'd - 6,600 words below the cut, so buckle up...]

I guess a few episodes ago, Father Time also said she ruptured the space-time continuum, but...

Oh, I'm so nervous. Girl, if you're at 1 mill, all your wishes are up for review now. Timmy sends his blessings.

Please say that's where this is going. They're not gonna reference "Timmy's Secret Wish" multiple times this season and then NOT follow that episode's canon for "standard procedure at 1 million wishes," right?

I'm stunned and wary, but let's see where we're going with this.

??? Okay, but... I'm pretty sure the only time Hazel truly wished for other people's benefit without including herself in an "unlimited pudding for everyone because Dev is hoarding it all and me and my friends want some" way was during "Lost and Founder's Day." She made wishes for random folks she walked past to have a more enjoyable time when she saw Dale's O-pairs trying to upsell them. It really ticked Dale off, and if he's been stalking her for 5 months...

... then I HAVE to assume that when she's not onscreen, Hazel's still wishing for other people in a way that either cuts into Dimmadome profits directly or stops Dale from upselling in a way that upsets him. Even the O-pairs were having mental breakdowns and beating themselves up about their failures, which just says a million things about the guy who programmed them... presumably Dale.

If she's made 1 million wishes when Timmy required 52 years to hit that number AND Dale became obsessed with stalking her and trying to figure out what she was doing, she's almost certainly wishing for the people around her- It's not like we've seen her with a closet of toys or having a montage of travel adventures. I don't think she's even left Dimmadelphia except to go to Fairy World.

She's 100% wishing up Dimmadome products in bulk without them paying for it. Or at the very least, she's doing something that is wrecking the Dimmadome business, and Dale is really confused and annoyed about it.

I went back to "Operation: Birthday Takeback" and Wanda outright says Hazel is wishing for other people and that led them to stop buying things. So... not necessarily wishing up Dimmadome products, but definitely distracting people from wanting to purchase Dimmadome stuff.

^ Dale tracking his profits, 100% aware this massive crash correlates with Hazel messing around. He's very confused. I don't support grown men stalking little girls, but I respect how hard he's working to keep his business thriving. Look at his notes!! He's working so hard!

Like ?? As far as we know, Dale doesn't know she has fairies and he's not chasing after magic (unless that's what this finale is about). What on EARTH is she doing with 1 million wishes that's getting him this hyperfixated??

It's not like Hazel and the other kids can afford the expensive tech products I'm certain Dale sells, seeing as he's a tech mogul with talking drones that have arms, and seeing as back during "Stanky Danky," he was advertising products kids aren't really interested in (He bragged Dimmadome Global sells "rugs, plugs, and coffee mugs" plus doormats). She's gotta be wishing for adults too.

Am I reading this right? I don't think she's doing anything wrong - she's 10 and is allowed to wish for stuff and there are no rules against wishing for other people - but she's absolutely wrecking the Dimmadomes.

1 million wishes........ hoooo boy.

- I just !! wish we were seeing this onscreen?? Even though Wanda claims in the birthday episode that Hazel's been wishing for other people, I've not gotten that impression outside the 3 wishes we saw her make in "Lost and Founder's Day" (new ice cream after dropping one, faster-moving line, bouncier bounce house)... Things that shouldn't be costing Dale money. -> Maybe he's just annoyed he can't upsell, but ?? none of the kids expressed interest when his O-pairs tried to upsell them. One of them looked bored out of their mind. - I personally would've liked glimpses of Dale working on this stuff since we used to get peeks into Crocker's life regularly, especially since I assume he's the big antagonist for this episode and has run off to Fairy World to take over... I would've liked to be there when he discovers the notes on his board. Maybe we'll get a flashback about it? - I feel like I missed a bunch of context and I'm having to do a very deep read that I would not be doing if I weren't intentionally pausing and theorizing. -> I'd really have benefitted from a Dale-centric episode akin to "Transparents" from the OG series' Season 1: similar vibes to Crocker having a suspicion, showing us how people make fun of him to his face, and taking steps to prove his theories (i.e. Crocker shocked that Timmy brought a dinosaur to show and tell). -> So... something like Dale wanting to scour the whole city with the O-pairs - or stalk Hazel specifically - but having to come up with a creative excuse to hide his intentions. Like him deliberately sending Dev to school with a hidden camera and we keep cutting back to Dale watching the footage at home, or inviting Hazel's family to dinner (maybe through a connection with Hazel's dad studying mystical things; he could say he wanted to show him something or fund his research). -> You're a super rich man and you tell that parascientist that you believe in him and want to fund his research? I think he'd bend over backwards to please you. -> That said, I've enjoyed seeing lots of Hazel episodes. We've gotten important friend and family bonding that I wouldn't want to lose, and we'll probably get some flashbacks that show how we got here. Just... I would've enjoyed building tension over time.

Okay, unpause...

... Hm. So, you're telling me Timmy gets in huge trouble because he secretly froze time 50 years ago, but Hazel gets handed a rule-free wish and none of the Big Fellas are here to supervise...

She's already manipulated time twice without this. If she also wished for time to freeze for 50 years, but it was on a rule-free wish, would anyone bat an eye? Like, could anyone stop her?

I don't love this, but again, let's see where we're goin' with it. I think I know why Hazel and Dev are fighting in the title card. He's gonna want her wish for his dad's love, I assume.

I'm still unclear on why that wasn't one of his wishes when he had Irep.

Wait a sec... He freaked out that Hazel "wished for them to be friends” (his interpretation). He probably genuinely does not want to wish for his dad's love, because it would be "fake."

Now I'm really confused. Timmy had to get his 1 million wishes reviewed and defend the most questionable ones in court. Was that just... something they only did for Timmy because of his history of collateral damage, which is made very clear in the episode, and everyone lied to him that review was standard procedure? lol.

Oh boy. I'm not sure I'm gonna like this... I've not made a real attempt to let New Wish stand for itself as a separate thing from the OG series (I'm too familiar with the show to pretend I don't use it as a baseline to study this one), but maybe I'll have to try and ignore the fact that we're in blatant canon violation. Despite knowing "Secret Wish" is canon in this spin-off.

Is Hazel going to be super anxious about having a rule-free wish? Is that what the recent set-up of anxiety in these last few episodes was for?

lol, I just realized that (unless this rule-free wish comes in the form of a muffin) Hazel's now put herself in a situation where she's not going to be able to wish for the entire rest of this finale unless she's willing with her rule-free wish. That would be really clever.

I said I expected Dev to turn from his dad to Hazel, but I can also see Hazel using her rule-free wish to save Dev from falling to his death or something.

?? I am SO CONFUSED. If they want to do a rule-free plot - and if they don't follow standard protocol for 1 million wishes - why didn't they just do a fairyversary plot? She should be WAY closer to hitting her 1-year anniversary of godparents than to a million wishes.

Rule-free wishes are canon for the 1-year anniversary, and "Abra-castrophe" is probably the best-known movie of the series. It would've made sense.

And she clearly hasn't hit her anniversary yet in a world where we assume that's still canon, or she'd already have rule-free wish experience, which she doesn't.

Pfft, the Big Wand drained. That's... also a way you can take away her ability to wish so this finale will be dramatic, but I liked my "oh no, if I wish for anything, I'll waste my rule-free wish" theory better :'D

Cosmo: We've gone to Fairy World with you 39 to 40 times! :) Me, who previously said I was sad we hadn't seen Hazel being delighted by Fairy World or engaging with its magic, whispering: what the fliiiiiip... This has never been indicated even slightly... why weren't we shown this?? instead, you flat-out told us Fairy World was "reserved for special occasions," which you then used photo evidence to back up your insistence that going to Fairy World was really only for times Jorgen is testing you as godparents... I'm so confused...

Did I miss some episodes? Did we jump forward in time? Is there a plot twist time travel reveal? I feel like I missed 2 or 3 whole seasons;;

- Fairy World should be a big deal. It should feel very different than the human world and be full of weird roads, magical creatures new to Hazel, purple grass, etc. - I'm sad that our only times seeing Hazel interact with Fairy World are when she and Kennueth went clothes shopping (in one store we didn't see them enter or leave, just a scene change) and when she was randomly teleporting around with Dev. Or Fairy Con, I guess, but we haven't seen her wander the streets. I'm just sad to hear she's gone so many times, so now I'll not get to see her explore. - Had my hopes up for something akin to "Big Wanda" or "Odd Squad" or "Timmy TV" :'D Or even just "Most Wanted Wish" when Timmy goes to lunch with Mama Cosma

I just want to see New Wish's version of random reminders that Fairy World is a funky non-human society and it's fun to explore :'D

I wanna be wowed!! And I'm sad I don't get to be there when Hazel truly starts looking around. Alas...

I'm operating with the assumption that the show may get a second season (at least, it needs to be set up so it can either tie up loose ends or continue in the future). 1 million wishes is a strange thing to drop on us this early (Skipped every milestone and skipped oodles of adventures). I saw no foreshadowing or hints that they were doing any of this.

-> I could've sworn her most recent milestone was 100... Or if I'm misremembering, it can't have been more than 1000.

Hmm. I do like how Wanda's worried and Cosmo's kicking his legs.

... When I paused to write my note about not being shown this, I thought I heard a flashback ripple that would showcase Hazel's wishes. But it was not. It's just a normal scene change :')

This is a 20-minute episode; I can't treat it like a movie. They're doing their best in the allotted time and budget and I'm glad we even get a finale.

But also, I really like how "Secret Wish" makes a special effort to showcase tons of Timmy's wishes, most of which we'd seen, but a few that were made up. It gave us story context and depth that I'm itching for more of with Hazel.

- I like what I've seen with Hazel, but I feel like I just got sucker punched in a "Haha, you don't get to bond with this character or be there during these important events like finally exploring Fairy World with Cosmo and Wanda" kind of way. I feel robbed and icky. - Next you're gonna tell me she's already familiar with Juandissimo, Mama Cosma, Schnozmo, Blonda, and/or Big Daddy and I'll just sit here feeling sad, cheated, and confused. Let's hope not...

omg, we're going back to the Hocus Poconos in the finale and it's gonna be full of unwished Hazel stuff..... Is that why we don't have flashbacks yet? That'd be clever! My theory was that Lezah got sent there, and they did set her up as a rival with a very thoughtful design... so maybe.

??????? whaaaat.

hooooly, what is this...

Well, that's not Dimmadome aesthetic, so this doesn't fit my Dale theory. I don't recognize this style. It gives me Crocker vibes, but we've only seen him once.

?? The fact that Cosmo described the Big Wand as yellow and Hazel says "It's blue" when she shows up makes me think this is supposed to be Anti-Fairy aesthetic (even though their star is black), but it sure doesn't look like it...

We know, like... 4 things about Anti-Fairy World: red skies, purple roads, lots of metal, and Anti-Cosmo's castle design. This doesn't look like any of those things.

I want to think Crocker, but it can't be... He's only had one cameo. We just barely had our second Anti-Fairy reminder; this HAS to be Anti-Fairies. but... throwing out their aesthetic would be a heck of a way to introduce them :'D

If this is Anti-Fairies, I'll let it slide because they seem to have taken over Fairy World, so actually... it makes sense Anti-Cosmo's sign isn't here. Also, they wouldn't bring the sky. And I can't blame them for not lugging barbed wire out here.

Actually, this looks closer to Fairy World when it lost power in "Crocker Shocker" than to Anti-Fairy World. Which would track with the fact the Big Wand just went down.

I do like how the bridges look like lava. I think I like that better than Anti-Fairy World's purple roads.

I'm really glad to see the roads connecting different clouds up and down as that's Fairy World's signature thing; I was sad in Episode 2 that Fairy World didn't look magical or make me interested in returning.

Ironically, this might be the best showcase of the roads I remember from either series. But I miss the mountains…

Okay- I've taken some time to sit and think. I'm paused at 2:48, so I don't think I have enough clues to put the pieces together, but since it's the finale and I'm not sure if I'll be spoiler-free again if we get new episodes, I'm pulling out all my theorizing stoppers. Bear with me.

1) We know Fairy World is shut down right now. I think it's coincidence that this happened when Hazel earned her rule-free wish. I don't think anyone's plotting to take her wish, and I do think she'll use her wish to either save Dev's life or make him happy.

2) We know the Big Wand is blue (???) and the sky is gloomy. That feels like Anti-Fairy vibes despite this not being their aesthetic.

3) We know Anti-Fairy World is still a thing; Jorgen sent Irep to Anti-Fairy World when he booted him away from Dev. That implies the species are still divided.

In most of their appearances, there's a theme of Anti-Fairies being locked away. I think something happened to get them out, which plays into my next thought:

4) If this is Anti-Fairies, I lean towards this being Irep now grown-up and following through on his dream of taking over. It feels weird, because his goal in the debut of THIS series was obtaining godkids, so... I'm not sure, but I'm getting Irep vibes. Here is why.

- This feels closer to Irep's aesthetic than Anti-Cosmo's. Foop's thing has always been that he loves Anti-Fairy World the way it is, and all the creepy aesthetic that goes with it. He eats it up. - Anti-Cosmo enjoys chaos, but his whole thing is being jealous of the Fairies. He hates being locked up and seems more tolerant of Anti-Fairy World's vibes than appreciative of them. His thing is that he desperately wants Earth (so it’s really funny he said H.P. could blow it up. BFFs…) - OG series Anti-Cosmo doesn't even want to take over Fairy World; he wants a godkid. His shtick is "I will literally do anything for a godkid even if it's stupid and I make a fool of myself." And then he makes a fool of himself; it's great.

I don't think Irep is capable of taking over Fairy World by himself, even though he wants it. But I also don't think Anti-Cosmo would do this, even though (if his Anti-Fairies followed orders) he probably could.

Taking over means confronting magical people, and Anti-Cosmo doesn't, like... do that. He taunts people IF he holds a blatant advantage (like them being locked up or them being a human who can't jump and grab him), but he's also a huge coward <3 He's Mr. Buddy System. He needs his Anti-Fairies. So... He might be here, yeah! But I do get major Irep vibes. Irep's totally leading, and I don't see Anti-Cosmo's aesthetic here, so I think he's playing a small supporting role if he's here at all. - Anti-Cosmo thinks being locked in Anti-Fairy World sucks, but he also hates leaving the house, you get me?

I DO think Anti-Cosmo would be willing to help someone who helped him. And I do think he doesn't mind Anti-Fairies taking over if it keeps Fairies off his back... but ruling isn't his gig. He likes being a goofball in the field.

I think someone else who wants to take over Fairy World got the Anti-Fairies out of Anti-Fairy World, and this is Anti-Fairy aesthetic combined with someone else's. I think they've been granted freedom in exchange for their numbers and magic.

Dale has ginger hair. HE looks like the roads. Now, THAT would be funny.

oh, I'm an IDIOT! It's gotta be DEV. He went looking for Anti-Fairies at the end of "Best of Luck!"

omg, this is Irep's love for darkness and cruelty plus Dev's ginger hair aesthetic! That feels totally right. That's my final answer.

Okay, THIS IS MAKING SENSE. I've been sitting here for (no joke) an hour outlining mental notes like "Irep got flicked away by Jorgen being casual; he can't possibly take over by himself. And you'd need a ton of Anti-Fairies to pull this off, and they take orders from Anti-Cosmo... but why would Anti-Cosmo take over Fairy World? He's literally always dragged his feet about it when the idea comes up."

But if Dev let the Anti-Fairies out - thus earning Anti-Cosmo's assistance - and we know Dev's been ANGRY... Ooooh, that would answer my concerns. I'm ready for this.

Anti-Cosmo does not have the best track record with not backstabbing someone who releases his people, so I'm intrigued.

And this COULD be a way to get the godkids! Indirectly, but we just found out Anti-Fairies can now yoink godkids if Fairies quit, which is a new rule for this series!! Ohhh, I'm picking up what they're putting down (I think).

I'm here, I'm ready, I'm excited. Let's do this.

Hey, actually, before I unpause... what the flip. Up until this second, I assumed the notes Cosmo and Wanda wrote on Dale's note board were going to be found by Dale... ... but we KNOW Dev saw them. HE knows about the Big Wand. AND he has a way to get to Fairy World (Peri, and/or Irep coming back for him, and/or if he broke into Cosmo and Wanda's apartment I guess) that Dale doesn't. And he's even been here before, and he's been researching Anti-Fairies. That makes so much sense.

Final answer: I think Dev released the Anti-Fairies (bringing back Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda for finale, yay!) and they're teamed up enough to blend their aesthetics, indicating a semi-equal partnership.

I think A.C., A.W., and Irep will all be here together, finally giving us family vibes for them (fingers crossed), but I think Irep will suck at being a team player. I think Anti-Cosmo will play along with Dev until he decides it would be to their benefit to backstab. Not sure what they'll do with Anti-Wanda; she might hang back =(

Maybe we'll get lucky and Anti-Wanda will be motherly towards Dev. Anti-Cosmo being fatherly would be funny.

omfg, that would be REALLY funny. Anti-Cosmo wants godkids- can you even IMAGINE the daddy issues that would resurface if Irep had to watch his dad fawn over his new friend? crying.

Irep's not big on backstabbing people unless they betray him first (Ex: Crocker not inviting him to his house party), so I do think if Anti-Cosmo fawned over Dev, that would snap him. lol.

I'm not expecting Anti-Cosmo to talk about wanting godkids, which is fine... This is a new show, and he's had time to form a new dynamic with his son that wasn't there in the OG series (because his son grew up in Abracatraz and Foop was upset about his parents "moving away without leaving a forwarding address again" in "Certifiable Super Sitter"), so it's not like their dynamic was great back then.

"Hey Riddle, didn't you say once the week they ditched Foop would pan out to be during free-tailed bat mating season? And hasn't that always been your headcanon'd species for them and it got way funnier when it turned out Foop's toes are canonically light-colored, just like the white bristles on free-tailed bats' feet?" Yeah. lmao.

Also, I think Dale should have a gun.

I have my fingers crossed that we are referencing "Secret Wish" for a reason... but the only thing I can think of is that the Hocus Poconos is coming back.

I'm just so surprised they'd make up new lore for a rule-free wish in a way that directly violates that episode's canon of what happens at 1 mil (considering that if people wanted to go digging for Hocus Poconos backstory after its introduction in this series, "Secret Wish" is what they'd watch) instead of using the established one with the shorter time period, unless they just didn't know the lore.

It has to be intentional. But why?

My thoughts are that they don't want a rule-free muffin bouncing around or they didn't want Hazel's muffin to be compared to the OG series... but that makes me sad because we know that was established for any godkid who keeps fairies for a year. It would be so easy... That's literally the movie they air often... It's the one people are probably most familiar with...

Hmm. Well. I'll take a breath and try to let New Wish stand on its own, but I'm just very surprised.

Plot Point Theories

... Okay, I've been thinking a little longer (next day), and now I'm REALLY nervous if this is Dev. Because if Dev's hanging around Anti-Fairies and making wishes with their powers, Peri's gonna get magical back-up.

In fact, I'm surprised he hasn't already since we haven't seen him grant a single wish for Dev in several episodes, and when he did show up, he was in his parents' house with Dev nowhere to be seen.

Also, the Big Wand is down- everyone is gonna get magical back-up, which we just learned kills you.

In the OG show it didn't kill you (and Cosmo and Wanda went through it multiple times), so if they explode and then turn out to be fine, I won't be surprised. However, they seem to be pushing the death story for this show.

Fairies leaving no bodies behind when they die was canon in the OG though, so I like that part (They left dust, and I've always headcanon'd Anti-Fairies as leaving behind smoke since Foop was born from a smoke cloud).

- I like that in this series, they clarify magical backup occurs "if you don't use magic." That was always unclear in the old one, where they used to say "if you don't grant wishes" despite the majority of Fairies not being godparents. - In 'fics, I went the route of "Well, godparents probably get a huge power boost of magic when they sync up to a godkid, hence why the creatures who are so paranoid about people hurting them are even motivated to help kids, and that's why you risk backup." - Specifically, I went a whole worldbuilding route where godparents draw energy through the Big Wand, but use godkids as a springboard to alter the world in ways they normally aren't powerful enough to do (so I like how we saw Irep messing with the flow of time when he became Dev's godparent in "Best of Luck" since that was probably the first time he was able to play with those kinds of powers in an all-encompassing way). - But if it's just magic in general, that's a completely new vibe than anything I've played with, and I like that. I'm ready to be surprised and horrified about what does or doesn't count as magic.

I think if Hazel doesn't save Dev with her rule-free wish, she's probably gonna wish someone who explodes from magical back-up back to life.

My predictions for where Dev's arc is going:

- Peri's going to get magical back-up and Dev will be some emotion like shocked, ashamed, or remorseful.

- Anti-Cosmo specifically will backstab Dev when he's "no longer needed" (Irep won't; Irep's always wanted friends. He might even stand up for Dev against Anti-Cosmo, but I'm not confident).

- If Dale shows up in this episode, he's gonna uncover Fairy World's shtick and have a meltdown that the Fairies never rescued him from 7 years of child labor.

- Dale tries to explain himself to Dev, justifying his behavior with claims that he's never "meant" to treat him poorly and all he's ever wanted is for Dev to have a better life without needing to carry the burden of trauma and the past that Dale does.

-> Big "I was going to tell you when you're older; I was trying to do the right thing for both of us" vibes

Ex: We know Dev never gets to have lemonade (presumably a trigger for Dale) & we know Dale has told Dev he "worked in a factory underneath a lemonade stand," but withheld details on Vicky (with Dev having no baseline for how Vicky could possibly know his dad). -> And Vicky only said lemonade stand, not factory, which makes me think Dale's withheld some of the details. For all I know, Dev might think his dad "worked in a factory" by choice. If he uncovers Dale's trauma (maybe by finding memories or records of the past), Dev's gonna either be annoyed his dad withheld this from him, or confused and saddened in a way they can bond over. -> Ex: Maybe Dev thinks "Vicky and my dad worked at a stand as kids and my dad went on to a factory and she's bitter." Part of me is like "Surely there's no reason to bring the lemonade up; it's not a big deal for Dev like it was to his dad," but after Vicky referenced it recently (and Dev was like "How does she know my dad?"), I suspect we might play with that someday, even if it's not in this episode (Because I can see Dev's daddy issues being a multi-season thing to maintain tension).

- Dev's going to break, lose, or throw away his shades, symbolizing that he wants to stop regressing.

-> I imagine them getting broken during a tense moment (such as Anti-Cosmo backstabbing him and smashing them under his foot) so it feels sad at the time as Dev clings to his comfort item, but he's gonna learn to let it go.

- Dev will reject his dad and stay with Hazel and/or Cosmo and Wanda, willing to put in the work to be a nicer person. Also, Peri resolves some issues he has with his parents.

-> Actually, forget that: I think Peri should get his own apartment and Dev can hang out with him there. I really want to see them try to live on their own when I don't think either of them knows how to do much to get by in the real world. I want them to confuse scream together as they try to, like... read bus routes and grocery shop.

- Dev will finally get to taste lemonade. tbh, I think if I was handed this set-up and told to find a fun way to end it... I'd have Hazel "waste" her rule-free wish because it makes her anxious, so she opts to give Dev lemonade.

-> Again, I know the lemonade's probably not a big deal to Dev, but I think it's funny. Then she no longer has to think about the anxiety the wish causes her, and he can be touched by her kindness. lmao.

In "Nectar of the Odds," Timmy's lemonade could grant wishes for anyone who drank it. Dev getting his hands on THAT would be hilarious. I'm not sure what it would add that Peri can't give him, but it would be a funny way to use magic when the Big Wand is down (because Cosmo made that lemonade with his sweat, which he still has in this episode, implication being fairies kinda ooze their extra magic). I can't imagine they would do that because it requires a big callback to the OG series and magical lemonade's not been foreshadowed, but... Dale himself is a callback to that same episode, so I write off nothing. I'm super glad Dale was brought back as Doug's son. Imagine if Dev had different parents, one of whom was Doug's child, so we had a Dimmadome child, but it wasn't Dale. - I'm glad he's here because it feels like the writers did their research. I'd miss him.

Alternate endings I don't think are likely, but they make me laugh:

- Finale doesn't 100% wrap up and instead we're setting up a longer-term relationship for Dev and the Anti-Fairies.

- Dale and Dev have a heart-to-heart and try resolving some of their issues. Dev reaches the point where he's no longer miserable (maybe through his dad being kind to him, or Dev opts to cut ties with his dad and it's a weight off, or Hazel being his friend), so he and Peri will part ways (which tbh... might be healthy for both of them).

- ?? I think I like the idea of Dev no longer counting as miserable, which should disqualify him from having a fairy, but the Council lets him move into Poof's apartment as long as Cosmo and Wanda are nearby to keep an eye on them.

- Alternatively, Dev and Peri break up because Peri realizes he wasn't ready to godparent yet. He takes time away. Thus, Dev temporarily ends up as a shared godkid with Cosmo and Wanda (an unlikely callback to the old series since a lot of people didn't like Chloe sharing fairies with Timmy, but I think it would be funny).

-> Or, Hazel decides Dev needs Cosmo and Wanda more than she does (I'm not saying she doesn't need them, but canonically most godkids don't keep their fairies for long, so it would be interesting). She lets them go so he can have them, maybe using her rule-free wish to do this.

That's not a likely way to wrap up a finale that needs to leave things open for future seasons (if any), but intriguing to think about. We never got a proper send-off for Timmy in the OG series and one of my early theories for New Wish was that Hazel might give Cosmo and Wanda to Dev in the finale, so I think it's worth mentioning.

This show really likes changing the status quo, which was uncommon in the OG series, so I like that about it and I'm interested to see what might happen.

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Now then... I am once again writing my concerns about Anti-Fairy reboot stuff so I can look back later and see what did or didn't happen.

Basically the same thing I said in Post #10

If you don't like people talking about concerns, you can stop here and I'll pick up the liveblog in my next post <3

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Okay, so... hm.

I'm not that picky about what they do with Anti-Cosmo. If he's now more interested in taking over Fairy World than chasing after godkids, I'll allow it. He can mix it up and it makes for a dramatic story.

Also, the chances of us getting to see his many facets are pretty low if we only get this one 20-minute episode that also has to (presumably) wrap up the Hazel-Dev conflict and some of Dev's issues towards his dad. We're not gonna have time to see much of A.C. beyond whatever he's out here doing, which seems to be evil takeover stuff. And that's okay.

But my hope is that I don't have to see Anti-Cosmo making Dev sign a contract. I really want the Pixies to keep the stuff that's theirs. I don't want their cool things to be moved to characters who are already popular.

Also, I refuse to believe the man who can't sit still for 3 seconds and whose plans look like this would have the skills or patience to write his own contract:

If there's a contract, I'll take it with grace, but I'll headcanon he's been hanging out with H.P. (which I'm not opposed to at all, so that's a win for me).

I'm glad I took the time to sleep and think about this. I'm not sure my thoughts will be correct, but I think I've made peace with the idea of Anti-Cosmo taking over Fairy World: something he's never really expressed interest in and that I associate with H.P. instead.

I said in Post #10 that I was really nervous about the possibility of Anti-Cosmo being rebooted as a suave, sassy, super calculating sexy bad boy who's now confident and all-in on taking over Fairy World... considering that in the OG series, he's an awkward nerd who hates confrontation, defers to H.P. even in his own castle, can't discipline his son, likes comic books, spins in circles, jumps on tables, throws tantrums, will wander off when he's left alone, and wants a godkid.

He DOES have smug energy and cool lines sometimes... but he's also a tantrum-throwing brat who's scared to stand up to people, and in this house, we love him for it!!

And yes, I am so nervous that I'm going to have to watch Anti-Cosmo be rebooted so he's more like H.P. - who IS the suave, sassy villain who's meticulous and in control - and then I'm going to make " :'D " faces for years as I watch the fandom gush over Anti-Cosmo turning into the cool villain H.P. always was. I'm sorry, it's selfish, but H.P. is my favorite and has been a big part of my life for the last 8 years of 'fic writing and fanart, so it would make me sad :') Also, I like Anti-Cosmo being dorky; who will I turn to for a dorky magical villain if I lose him?? The second half of this fear is... Since rebooting Anti-Cosmo into a sassy, confident villain who plans well and wants to take over Fairy World would make him basically the same as H.P., then the pixies are less likely to show up in future seasons (if any) (Alas), or worse... ... H.P. might return, but get rebooted so he's no longer one of the snarkiest characters in the whole show... No longer uses finger guns, no longer gets excited over puns, no longer kicks back to drink the canon alcohol parallel (soda) on the job, no longer wears two hats at the same time, and no longer ditches responsibility for raves :') And I'd just be very sad if I had to see his character traits stripped from him and folded into Anti-Cosmo instead, seeing as A.C. is already very popular with fans and doesn't need the boost in cool.

But... All this said, now that I've sat with my thoughts, I like this idea of Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and Irep doing things as a family. THAT is interesting enough to me that I think I'll forgive Anti-Cosmo being confident and sassy, if that's how he's rebooted.

I think it's reasonable for A.C. to change for his family. So... as much as I'd be nervous for what it could mean for H.P., it'll be fine.

I just want Anti-Cosmo to be an awkward nerd pretending to be confident, but also he likes to run around and goof off, but he should also look at people like he's confused they kicked his puppy. Also, that scene in "When Nerds Collide" that you can pause with perfect timing and see him holding Anti-Wanda's hand lives rent-free in my head. You have to balance the smug "In your face" dance & his love for touching things & how oblivious he is to Anti-Wanda's pregnancy cravings & the fact that he shook his wife up and down 2 seconds after she gave birth & how he much he cries & the fact he throws tantrums kicking and screaming & that he once pulled Timmy towards him and then dropped him on the floor because he forgot he couldn't float. This man is a spoiled brat with the giddy energy of a Labrador and the emotional stability of tinsel. you understand...

Man. Why am I so nervous?? H.P. and A.C. both had a decent amount of episodes, and there have been so many callbacks to the OG series that I'm sure the writers studied A.C. before putting him onscreen. If for nothing else, then to get a feel for his dialogue.

If H.P.'s characterization can remain the same across several years in the OG series, he'd probably be fine if they ever came back. I'll be less bothered about Anti-Cosmo changing if H.P. doesn't become less sassy as a result, and I'm probably overthinking (though I have many questions about where Hazel's love for paperwork is going; it almost feels like they're setting up a Pixie plot)

-> Especially since about 15 months ago, there was a rumor going around that the Pixies would return "in the 2nd half of the season." It was later decided they weren't, but the possibility that they nearly did just gets me on edge.

I'll always be happy to see my specialist boy in the world, but if they reduce H.P. to the Pixie stereotype when his whole thing is that he conflicts with whatever dull and boring expectations you go in with, I'll be injured in Family Guy death pose forever. Do not do this to me… I want him back so badly :') ...

Okay. On to a 2nd post! ... Tomorrow, I think. I'm not even 3 minutes in. Haha, I'm in danger.

[liu-anhuaming]

Reading Chinese Ebooks on 讀墨 ReadMoo

For the past few years, I've labored under the assumption that I can't read Chinese ebooks because I just can't focus on them. However, I recently saw someone on insta mention the app 讀墨. I was intrigued, and decided to give it a try. And wow, what a shock, I can in fact read Chinese ebooks! I just have to change it to vertical text and make the font very large.

So the past couple weeks I've been trying to read more consistently using 讀墨. The book I started with was slow going at first, which almost made me give up; it was the Chinese translation of The Last Cuentista by Donna Barba Higuera. This book really wasn't for me, and I didn't want to keep reading it. So instead of just giving up, I bought one more book and tried again: 《你的孩子不是你的孩子》 by 吳曉樂 (yes, it is the basis for the Netflix show of the same name).

I devoured the book in under a week. So yeah, I think Chinese ebooks work for me if I like the book.

Below is gonna be an overview of the app, and my thoughts on it so far. It's not comprehensive though, since there's a lot of things on this app I haven't explored yet (like the audiobooks).

***Please note that 讀墨 is a Taiwanese app, and as such it mainly offers books written in traditional characters. There are apparently books written in simplified available, but I haven't explored those since I'm fine reading traditional.***

Buying Books

Buying books is fairly simple. You make an in-app purchase of coins, which you then use to buy books. Note: As of writing this, I have recently recently received a notification from the app that their book purchasing system will be changing soon. Instead of being able to buy the books in the app, you'll have to log in to your account in a browser and buy the books there. The books will apparently then appear on the app for you to read.

As it stands, 210 coins costs $10.99, and the books I've bought have ranged in price from 210 to about 300 coins. That means the books cost ~$11-$16, just like a regular book. This could be pricey, but since I'd otherwise be paying for international shipping if I were buying a physical copy, this feels like a bargain to me. (For me, shipping books from Taiwan/China to the US typically doubles the price of the purchase rip)

Once you buy the book, it's in your library for you to start whenever you please.

As for browsing for books, I haven't gone too in-depth yet. I went in to 讀墨 with a TBR and went for books off that list exclusively. When it comes to buying books online, I almost always go on whatever site I'm buying from with a list of the books I'm thinking of buying. I get recommendations elsewhere (e.g., Goodreads or insta).

Reading Books

The 讀墨 reading interface is pretty typical for an e-reader app. What makes me like it way better than other apps I've used is that it has a lot more customization options.

For starters, you've got 6 options for page/text color. There's the typical black, white, and sepia, but there's also blue and green! I use the 奶綠 option, since I don't like having such a stark contrast between the text and the background when reading on my phone for long periods.

Then there's the options for changing the text size and spacing. You can make it bigger or smaller as you please, and put more or less space between each line of text.

You can also change the font. There's 8 different fonts you can choose from, including the default. There's even a font that puts 注音 next to each character! You can see a preview of that one in the photo below.

And then, there's the option to switch between horizontal and vertical text. The default is horizontal text, but I've come to prefer vertical when reading Chinese novels. If you go to your settings on your profile, you can make vertical text your default, which is what I ended up doing.

Like any good e-reader, there's options to highlight text. There's four different colors you can use (pink, yellow, purple, and blue). If you go the ToC, you can find all of your highlights and filter by color of highlight. Super convenient, since I've been using pink to highlight words/phrases I don't know or find interesting and yellow to highlight key sentences/paragraphs.

Aside from highlighting, when you select text you have the option to look the characters up in a dictionary or online. I've been getting a lot of errors with this recently, but I'm wondering if that's just my phone acting weird? It worked perfectly fine when I first started using the app. Anyways, the dictionary it takes you to is 夢典 MoeDict and it opens in a browser. This personally is a bit annoying bc I actually have this dictionary app installed on my phone, but this is a minor complaint. The dictionary opening in a new browser tab is a non-issue.

Reading Stats

Now, I'm a big dork and love to track my reading stats. To my great satisfaction, 讀墨 keeps track of some stats. The main one is time spent reading. You can set a daily goal (the minimum is 20 minutes), and if you reach it you get a nice checkmark on the calendar. The calendar doesn't update until the very end of each day, so if you've reached your goal for the day it won't show on the calendar until the next day.

Also, keep in mind time differences between where you live and Taiwan. I'm ~12 hours behind Taiwan, so the app doesn't start a new day until around noon for me.

Below the calendar, there's a chart that shows your total reading times for a week, month, or year. I normally can't be bothered to time my reading (especially not when I'm reading physical books) so this is cool to see. I think when it comes to reading in Chinese, being timed is more interesting because I'm able to more clearly gauge progress.

And below all that, there's a breakdown of the genres you read. I don't pay much attention to genre when choosing books, so I don't find this one quite as interesting.

(tfw you're reading a non-fiction book about a tutor so your main genre becomes 教育)

Overall Thoughts

So yeah, I've enjoyed myself so far. Aside from the reading interface, I find the app pretty easy to navigate. I spent a bit of time just clicking around and was able to figure out what's what pretty quick.

Like I said, this isn't a comprehensive review, but I'd recommend giving the app a try if you're willing/able to put down money for ebooks and are able to read traditional. It feels worth the money for me, since the interface is pretty customizable and easy to use.

If you're wondering where to find simplified ebooks, idk. This is my first real foray into Chinese ebooks, so I don't really know where to find them for simplified or traditional. I have heard that it is a little easier to pirate Chinese ebooks since their copyright laws are a little different than ours in the US?

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

The Blue Eyed Bandit

When a wanna-be cowboy rides in all the way from Tennessee, he’s laughed out of town, but Y/N can see something in him that others can’t, especially when their town becomes the target of ruthless gang of bandits.

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader

(Cowboy!Au, Angst, Fluff)

5.9k Words

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, prostitution, flirting, drinking, bar fights, guns, stalking, blood, wound care, knives, makeouts, hickeys, description of injury, gun sucking, degredation, groping, (attempted) kidnapping

An: I’ve wanted to write a story about Johnny as a cowboy for a while XD This was inspired by a lot of things, but especially the Mexico episode of Viva la Bam! I specificly wrote this story to be set in the ‘1850s, though it’s not explicitly stated. I did more research for this fic than any other I’ve written before, on topics from wound care to desert fruits and breeds of horses! It was super fun to write so please let me know if you would be interested in something similar to this in the future!!

You were lucky. It’s odd to say that working as a prostitute in a parlor house would be the luckier of any number of options, but it was. Leaning against the dry, rotting wooden post that held up the roofed porch of Madame Evette’s Gentleman Parlor, your current place of board and employment, you rolled this idea of luck around your mind. There’s always worse options, like that brothel up the road that had half its staff wiped out in the last smallpox outbreak. Working here, you always had a hot meal, warm baths, proper living quarters, health insurance, and much more reputable clients. In fact, you had started to get familiar with your regulars because nobody new ever seemed to come there. Looking out at the high, sandy bluffs that framed the desolate, arid New Mexico landscape, you realized that this was a town that new people didn't want to come to, but whose citizens seemed to want to leave by any means.

Lost in thought, you hardly noticed when a man walked up to the creaky railing you were leaning against until he tipped his hat at you with a warm, half smile, “Howdy, ma’am.” It shocked you how cordial he acted to you of all people. Still, you met his eyes. “Hi.” You recognized him- one week ago, this wanna-be cowboy from out east rode into here of all places to pursue his wild west fantasy, and he was already the laughingstock of the town. Still, you humored him a little, “What can I do ya for?” While he was a little dorky, you recognized the charming air he had about him that none of your other clients seemed to possess as he made conversation, “Well, I was under the assumption that this is the place for a gentleman like myself to find some company and,” Holding out his palm flat to take yours, he spoke low and with an accent you couldn’t quite place, “I would be delighted to be graced with yours.” Part of you assumed this was some sort of cruel trick he was pulling, treating a woman like you as a common lady, but you gave him your hand anyways.

Just then, the Madame caught sight of this through the window and swiftly came storming outside with a broom, “Keep those dirty paws away from my girls!” The commotion seemed to draw a good deal of attention as some of the girls inside peered out the door in various states of undress to giggle at the spectacle going down on the porch, and then there was you, caught in the middle of all this. “This is a proper establishment! You can take those dusty boots of yours down to the whorehouse across the street!” She chased him out into the streets, and there went the cowboy, ducking down an alleyway, laughing to himself.

You and the rest of the girls spent the evening lounging about the well furnished parlor, drinking wine in your garters and stockings while you entertained tonight’s men. Despite what people may think, your interactions with patrons didn’t start in the bedroom- there’s some drinking and singing and fraternizing one would usually have to get past before the fun stuff started. But the whole time you were chatting up the fat cat town banker while he puffed away at his cigar, you couldn’t help but think back to your interaction with that cowboy from earlier. There was something different in the way he treated you- how he saw you compared to how the rest of the town did. Most of the men you tended to wouldn’t be caught dead in your presence outside of this place, but he felt no shame in the slightest to interact with you. In fact, he seemed to have taken a liking to you. The thought made your chest feel warm.

Then, out of the blue, there was this great commotion outside, loud enough to rattle the crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling. Oh. This couldn’t be an earthquake- earthquakes aren’t usually accompanied by the whip cracking sounds of gunfire. Oh. This had to be a saloon fight gone bad. You nearly fell to the ground as everyone in the parlor flooded out the front door for a chance to bear witness to this spectacle, and of course you followed shortly behind because while you were a lady, you were never one to miss a good fight. There was always something or other going on in this town, whether it be a shootout or a bank robbery, so most people were sort of desensitized to it at this point. Dashing out onto the dusty streets, all indigo from the night, so many people crowded into the little tavern next door that you would’ve thought the cheap wooden floors would’ve given out from sheer weight. The place was buzzing. You weaseled in, squirming past people. At first, all you could see over the heads of those in front of her was the town bartender Steve, the one with the shaved head, cautiously emerging from where he had ducked behind the counter, all pale under yellow lamplight. The bar in front of him was completely splintered and half of the bottles that sat behind it were shattered, sticky amber liquid draining down the walls and to the floor. The whole thing was pretty damn tragic- you knew Steve, and by extension knew how he had been busting his behind, having practically built this place from the ground up and kept it running with only a couple saloon girls for help. It was his way of fulfilling a passion you always found to be pretty selfless: making people happy. Albeit, it was through alcohol and cheap bar tricks, he still took it seriously, like it was his baby, and in one moment it was destroyed.

As you squirmed closer to the front of the crowd, that’s when you caught it. A blur of mauve then step on a chair, step on a table- crash! A man leapt out of a window with an armful of cash, green bills fluttering in the air with the sparkling shower of glass. Immediately, you recognized him, but anyone in town could with one look at that purple mink duster with the strange heart symbol on the back that hung from his shoulders or with a glance at that face that was just made for wanted posters. But just like that, he disappeared into the night. And there, on the floor at the feet of the people who had front row seats to all this, was the cowboy from earlier, and he did not look good. Well, he looked good, but he looked unwell, especially with the slowly growing red stain on his shirtfront. “My, my, my…you gotta deathwish, boy? Or are you just plain stupid?” A man standing at the front of the crowd glowered down at him like he was horseshit on his shoe, “Ana’body five miles round’d know not to mess with them bandits.” If it wasn't bad enough, he had picked a fight with the leader of the meanest gang of ruffians in the west, this ruthless fellow that went by the name Bam on account of all the chaos he caused wherever he set foot and that subtleness wasn't necessarily his style. Of course he didn’t know what he was getting into, but the bandit king was gone, and everyone had forgotten about the cowboy that was still bleeding on the hardwood, so you ran over to the bar for a wet towel. Still shaken up, Steve handed you the bar cloth he was unconsciously gripping and, as the townspeople filtered out, you went to tend to the man in the ground.

“Whats’re name, cowboy?” It was pity that urged you to help him, surely. As you peeled away the dark cloth that stuck to his skin, his chest rose with heavy breaths. He watched with half lidded eyes as you dabbed away the blood that was steadily trickling from where he was grazed with a bullet, swallowing as your hands ghosted over a faded tattoo of a woman’s name on his chest before he murmured in a voice still hoarse, “Johnny.” Smiling softly, you finished up cleaning his wound, “Well, what you did back there was mighty brave, Johnny.” Now that you got a look at him, you couldn’t deny that he was a pretty well shaped young man. Cracking an exhausted grin, he let out a labored chuckle, still polite despite the circumstances, “Well thank’y, ma’am.” Gazing up at you with those blood loss dazed eyes, Johnny murmured, a little embarrassed, “I’d invite you back to mine, but I don't think it’d be your style, considering. I, uh- I’ve been sleepin’ in the horse stables for the past week…” There was something undeniably endearing about that fact. You helped him to stand as you went to pull yourself up, “Well, what about tomorrow? We could have lunch together.” Stumbling to his feet, Johnny drawled, “That sounds like a fine idea.”

So you dressed up nice that Sunday in a dress you “borrowed” from one of the other girls that worked at the parlor with you- this vibrant pink dress, the color of ripe red pitaya fruit. The usually lively streets of the town were deserted on Sunday mornings, and since you avoided leaving the parlor during the day due to the looks you got on the street, Sundays were the only day you really went out for fresh air. Johnny was already waiting for you in front of the bar, still in the same clothes as yesterday, bloodstains and all. Seeing you fully dressed for the first time in a sort of ‘you clean up well’ moment, he looked you up and down before a smile crept onto his lips, “Why aren’t you at church?” You shrugged, “I ain’t exactly the churchgoing type, and if I was, they don’t take too well to my kind. You?” The two of you began to walk down the dusty streets, the midday sun beating down and warming your skin. Johnny walked in step with you, inching a little closer, “Well, neither am I.”

You ended up at this little oasis up on a hill at the outskirts of town- one of the few green places left in this god forsaken place. Sitting down on the grass under a Blue Jacaranda tree, you set your woven basket that you carried the food in down and you caught Johnny nearly drooling as you opened it. It was all food you found lying around the parlor- fluffy pink and white conchas, warm boiled esquites, and a package of salt pork wrapped in brown paper and twine. Handing him one of the pastries, he tore into it like a starved man. Noticing your surprise at his eagerness, Johnny stopped himself and added bashfully, “Sorry…In- In all truth, ma’am, I’ve been livin’ off’a bar peanuts for the past few days…” It was believable- that cowboy was looking mighty thin. Of course, he went right back to eating.

The two of you talked for a while. He told you all about the mishaps that happened to him on his journey there all the way from Tennessee, a part of the old Southwest territory, and about how before he realized he wanted to move out west to pursue his cowboy dreams, he was a writer for his town’s newspaper. There was no shortage of stories with this man, and you couldn’t complain because he spoke with this vividness to his words that just captivated you. Johnny asked you about what it’s like in your line of work. You told him that you grew up on a farm and came here for a better life, some life that turned out to be. But as long as you had a clean bed to sleep in and warm meals, you’d be pretty content.

“So,” You started after a silence, “How’s that wound healin’ up?” Swallowing what was in his mouth, Johnny loostend the top few buttons of his shirt and pulled the collar to the side over his bicep, exposing the half scabbed over pink flesh. Maybe it was just an excuse to touch his chest, the intimacy made more so that you were leaning over his body as he sat up on his elbows, looking down at you. Fighting back a blush from creeping onto your cheeks, you blinked and met his eyes, “It, uh…doesn’t look infected, no.” As you pulled away, your gaze lingered on his still open shirt, “Is that your woman’s name- on your chest?” Johnny glanced down at the name scrawled on his tan skin, “Nah. S’my daughter’s.” Never in your days could you imagine a man as young as him a father. Still, you couldn’t help but ask, “So she’s waitin’ for you with your lady back home?” Shaking his head, he smiled gently as if remembering something fondly, “Oh, no- my little girl’s all grown up. And my wife,” he wiped some crumbs off of the side of his mouth, his voice falling a little serious, “well, she left me ‘bout a year ago this November.” You asked for an inch and he gave you a mile. At this point, you couldn’t deny that you were interested in him, but you still maintained your stuff demeanor, “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.” Glancing up at the sky, you shielded your eyes with your hand, “S’noon. Church should be letting out soon.”

Conversation was light as you walked back in town and he dropped you off at the parlor like a gentleman. You made a resolution that this would be routine- outcasts like you needed to stick together after all, or at least that was what Johnny said. It was cute, in a way, all this wisdom he had. As the two of you were chatting as you passed an alleyway, you saw something out of the corner of your eyes- this dark figure and a glint of something diamond blue that sent chills down your spine. But when you turned to take a second look, the shadow disappeared.

That next morning, you and some of the other girls were relaxing on the porch in your frilly underclothes and chatting because you had no clients and, in your line of work, that is what you call advertising. Every now and then a man passing by would whistle at you and you’d have to go up to the rail and flirt with them a little, standing just where you did on that day you first ran into Johnny. His plight still occupied your mind. Poor guy- his daughter left him and so did his wife. He’s probably a very lonely man. Before you could get to thinking about how you would be more than happy to help him out a little with that loneliness, your attention was drawn elsewhere. It seemed that you were too slow to notice the panicked looks and the people starting to make themselves scarce until a hush fell over the street and the air was so tense you could cut it with a knife. Just as you could’ve sworn you could hear yourself sweat, that’s when you saw him.

This hulking, dark mass looked like a vulture on the prowl as he sulked past a roadside fruit stand. There was no question who this was. Your blood ran cold at the dark chuckle that reverberated through the bandit king’s throat at the poor, shivering man who owned the stand as Bam snatched something out of one of the baskets full of fruit, not bothering to pay for it. He was subtle and silent there, something nobody had ever known him to be. Flicking his Bowie knife out of its leather sheath, the silver blade glimmered under the hot southwestern sun like sparkling hot oil as he wasted no time carving the skin off of that pitaya fruit. Though his eyes were concealed under the shadow of the brim of his hat, you felt Bam’s chilling gaze on you from that predatory grin he wore as sticky, red juices bubbled up around the Damascus steel, smearing across his blade and dribbling down his fingers. As if to emphasize a point, he dropped the now discarded peel to the ground and brought the knife to his lips, a serpent-like tongue flicking out to lap at the last traces of sweet nectar from the sharp, glinting edge.

And he smiled at you.

A cool wind blew through the air as you and Johnny sat down at the top of the hill that Sunday. “You know, ma’am,” Sitting with his legs out, cowhide boots stretched out in front of him on the grass, he turned to you, “I never caught your name- your real one, I mean.” Glancing up from the basket, you shook yourself from your thoughts of your encounter with Bam that last week, swallowing before you replied, “It’s, uh- it’s Y/N.” A warm smile spread across his face as you spoke, the corners of his eyes crinkling up. “Y/N. That is a mighty beautiful name.” That warm feeling- that same feeling as before, swelled up in your chest as you stared out onto the golden desert that seemed to stretch on for miles in the early morning sun. “Johnny.” You cleared your throat, “Is this how you expected it to go? Life, I mean.” God knows that you didn’t. You came here looking for a better life. What a sham that was. It was rare that you really got to feeling sorry for yourself, but sometimes, and especially after what happened, it was hard. Feeling nauseated, you hadn’t touched a crumb of the food you brought for the both of you, while Johnny had eagerly gotten through more than half the basket by the time you spoke up. “If you’re askin’ me if I thought I’d end up a cowboy, traveling the land and rightin’ wrongs, I would say yes.” He added hurriedly, a little embarrassed, “But, so far in this town, that ain’t exactly what I’ve been doin’...”

“So, you’re not gonna stay?” Unconsciously, you had inched just a little closer to him, nearly laying your head on his shoulder as the two of you talked. This clearly didn’t pass under Johnny’s notice as his voice fell sweet like honey against your ears, “Well, I didn’t say that. What I mean is, “ He turned toward you slightly, so close to your face that his lips nearly brushed against your cheek as he spoke in a low, slow voice, “all I’d need is a reason to stay.” You only then just noticed how, with the way your face was tilted towards his, your lips were nearly, almost touching. And then they did. But it felt nice- different from the sloppy men who had stolen kisses from you before. It felt soft, and natural. Almost upon contact, Johnny sat back with wide eyes, surprised at his own impulsive actions, “O-Oh lord…” His voice got real quiet, nearly wavering, as he blushed softly, “That may’ve been the least gentlemanly thing I’ve ever done.“

You stopped him, placing a hand against the soft fabric of his dark, half unbuttoned shirt front and leaning back in to gently press your lips to his, your eyelashes fluttering shut. Johnny’s warm muscles were initially tense under your touch but as he relaxed into the kiss, so did his body, letting out a soft groan against your lips. You had never made a man blush before, much less react so earnestly. Reaching out to you, the cowboy’s hands found purchase in your clothing, calloused fingers tangling into your calico dress as he hurriedly undid the brass buttons. Your heart fluttered in your chest and your head swam from the passion and desert heat as you started to think that this was maybe what love was supposed to be. Johnny’s breath came out in hot pants against your newly exposed skin as he hungrily sucked mauve blotches onto your neck and chest, his facial scruff tickling a little as he practically devoured you. But he was gentle with it. So sweet and gentle.

Nothing could have pulled Johnny away from you then, not even the gunshot that cracked out loud in the town below while the two of you were still caught up in the heat of the moment, so you were the one who had to pull his face away from your bosom by his hair. You could feel his breath fanning out against your skin as you sat up to get a better look at the commotion. Howling and cackling like twin coyotes, off rode the bandit king away with his fair haired cohort, arms full of loot from their latest hit- the town general store. They had swiped a small fortune in gunpowder, dynamite, and tobacco. Of course, this drew the townspeople away from church early, especially when one of the two young men who owned the store ran out, shouting and brandishing a shotgun. He fired three or four shells in their general direction, but his shots didn’t come near the hides of the bay mustangs nor the bandits that rode away on them, kicking up dust.

Johnny went back to the horse stables that night and realized just how much everything was looking up for him. He had a roof over his head, the favor of a lovely woman he would quite frankly lay down his life for, and hot meals every night courtesy of the man who owned the stable, a fellow by the name of Chris who he had gotten to know pretty well. In fact, besides the town bartender Steve, he was his only friend, but it was hard to count Steve as a friend because he was always tacking extra tequila shots onto Johnny’s tab while he distracted him with some trick he picked up in the circus. Still, he could let that slide because business was business. Chris, on the other hand, was just a sweet guy who loved horses, and he had taken such a liking to Johnny’s horse, Noami, that he let him sleep in her horse stall there free of charge.

So that explained why he was in the stables in the middle of the night, laying back against her shiny, chestnut coat as she slept with her head against his chest, snoring softly. Funnily enough, it was the horse sleeping against him that woke up first when a dark figure hopped the front gates into the stables. Blinking awake after she stood up, Johnny sat up curiously to catch sight of the silhouette opening stall doors. He thought about Chris- all those nights of charity and companionship, just for him to let some two bit their run off with his buddy’s pride and joy? Oh, no way in hell he was going to let that happen. A flash of emotions went through his mind as he threw himself to his feet and stood up to block the front gate. Johnny’s voice was nearly a growl as he gazed across at the bandit who was currently trying to make off with Jezebel, Chris’ prized palomino mare. “Y’aint leavin’ with her.” Though he didn’t initially recognize him, Johnny put two and two together quickly.

Bam was dead quiet, only visible as the tombstone shape he made in the darkness as he got low, light glinting off of the silver spurs affixed to his heels. Then, all at once it was as if the cowboy had taken a steam engine to the solar plexus, while in actuality it was a black suede wrapped fist that had knocked the air from his lungs. Still, Johnny stayed on his feet, coughing hard and hitting him with a poorly placed uppercut that knocked that hat clean off of his head. Bam sputtered, his mouth now bloodied and dripping onto the sand as he ducked down, taking a step to the side as his right hand reached for the gun afixed to his hip. It was no wonder the bandit king would fight dirty. Before Johnny could duck away, cold steel collided with his orbital bone in a skillfully placed pistol whip and he was knocked out cold. As the cowboy’s body fell limp to the ground, Bam huffed and spun his trusty piece around a finger before slotting it back in its leather holster, shooting a look at the man below him that spelled out that his resistance would not go unpunished.

When Johnny woke up, the first person to come to his aid was the stable owner himself. Chris picked him up under the armpits, lugging his half awake self over to a wooden chair in a corner and leaving him there as he went to fetch some medical supplies from his home next door, leaving the door open as midday sun flooded in. Blinking awake, the first thing Johnny did was look around to see if maybe what had happened last night was a bad dream and that the horse was still waiting in her stable, which was especially hard given the purple swelling around his left eye, but her stall door was wide open from the previous night. As Chris returned with a leather medical bag, Johnny coughed, his voice gravelly, “He- he got away with Jezebel…” This was a low point for him. It seemed that no matter how or when he tried to intervene, there was nothing this cowboy could do, even for the man who had shown him such charity. Kneeling down and threading catgut sutures onto the curved needle, Chris seemed forlorn, yes, but there was an appreciative inflection to his voice as he stitched up the split in Johnny’s cheek, “But he could’ve gotten away with a lot more if you weren't here. I’d say that makes you a hero in my book!” Turning it over in his head, he decided that maybe he had a point with that, but he still wasn't going to tell Y/N. She didn’t need to know. As the needle pierced the cowboy’s skin, he winced, sucking a breath in through his teeth. As Johnny peered down at the dried blood that certainly wasn't his that still remained on his knuckles, he swallowed hard, his voice still tense and very grave, “I’ll get’re back for you. Promise.”

So you heard no word of the stolen horses the next morning and went about your day without a care in the world, tending to clients as usual. You were especially busy that night, feverishly going from man to man, doing your thing and racking up quite a sum in commissions from all the whiskey you pawned off. In fact, you were so focused that you nearly jumped when you heard your name, “Y/N.” Madame Evette tapped you on the shoulder, drawing your attention away from the client you were currently entertaining, “Room seven. There’s a gentleman waitin’ for you upstairs.” It struck you as odd because while men who wanted to skip all the fluff wasn't that uncommon, it didn’t happen every night. Apologizing to the fellow you were talking to with a red lipsticked kiss on the cheek, you turned to hurry up the creaky staircase, making clicky noises against the wood in your little heeled boots.

Wandering down the hall of rooms upstairs, you cracked open the door of room seven to darkness inside from a put out lantern. Oh, poor guy- he must be shy. That makes the whole no canoodling thing make more sense. As you closed the door behind you, you noticed that there was just enough light from the moon trickling in the open window that you could still see a general outline of the man sitting in the wooden chair at the far corner of the room with his knees about a mile apart as you approached him, doing your little flirty routine, “So, what can I do ya’ for, handsome?” Wordlessly, the figure gestured down with two fingers and you knew what he was asking for, especially after he shifted his hips to sit lower in the chair with a huff. Getting onto your knees, you positioned yourself between his thighs, the floor chilling the skin of your bare legs. Reaching out, you started to undo his pants, and while the downstairs parlor was consistently noisy, the soft metallic clinking of a belt buckle was the only noise in the otherwise silent room. Your lips fell open and your eyes suddenly went wide at the sudden, unmistakable ice cold feeling against your forehead.

It was the muzzle of a revolver. The voice that rumbled out of the man above you was nearly a snarl as he spoke through his teeth, “You make one peep an’ I swear to god,” he pressed the tip harder against your head for emphasis and you could swear you heard a smirk in his voice, “I’m puttin’ this bullet in your fuckin’ skull.” Your heartbeat pounded in your ribcage as you felt your head swim and you thought that this is what it feels like to be a jackrabbit caught in the jaws of a coyote. Quivering, your gaze nervously trailed up his body, and you could feel the color drain from your face when your sight fell upon his glinting, all too familiar vulture eyes, flickering like blue hot steel. Click. The bandit king slowly pulled back on the hammer, his hand so close to your face you could see his fingers curl around the mother of pearl handle and read the words etched into the barrel as he tightened his grip with his finger on the trigger. And he chuckled this deep, predatory laugh, grinning down at you with a mouth full of fangs as he spoke slow, deliberately, “Now you’re gonna stand up nice n’ slow with those hands b’hind yer back- and you are gonna be real quiet.” Frozen in fear, you couldn’t move under the shadow that looked over you even if you wanted to keep your brain inside your skull, which you really, really did. “Y’takin’ me fr’a fool, whore?” Bam’s thick accent deepened with agitation as he spit his words, nearly barking, “I said,”

“Stand. Up.” A gloved hand roughly tangled in your hair and yanked you up on shaky deer legs, forcing you to weakly comply much to his satisfaction with the gun still snugly pressed against your forehead. Standing maybe six inches away from you, you picked up on the distinct scent of alcohol and tobacco on his breath. With how his gaze lingered at your lips, you could tell he was getting an idea of something else he could do with that gun, but he just nodded, relenting just slightly at your compliance, “That’s it, girl. Now turn around.” Standing up after you, Bam jabbed the revolver between your shoulder blades making you arch your back as he harshly grabbed your wrists and deftly bound them with the red bandana he wore around his neck. Pulling the gun away from your spine for a second, a warning shot cracked out through the ceiling that made you jump, your eyes nearly bugging out of your skull in fear as you yelped. But your terror was funny- so damn funny to Bam as he pushed you along, the burning hot muzzle returning to where it once was.

The scene downstairs was absolute chaos after that bullet went through the ceiling. Startled patrons and half clothed women scrambled outside, flooding into the streets and attracting quite a bit of attention, especially from the cowboy that was lingering outside the horse stables before he was set to retire for the night. Even though every instinct in him told him to stay away based on the outcome of his previous heroic efforts, Johnny’s body lurched forward almost involuntarily, dashing towards the chaos that Madame Evette’s Gentleman Parlor had become. Pushing past frightened patrons, he stormed in right as Bam was walking you down the staircase as you stumbled in front of him. Your panic-stricken eyes met Johnny’s (or at least, the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut) as he stared at the scene in front of him, his tone stern but his fear giving way to a trace of vulnerability in his voice after he swallowed hard, “Let her go.” The man behind you tugged you back hard by your bound wrists as the gun relocated to your temple, wedging you in place between the weapon and where the bandit king rested his head on your shoulder, nuzzling against your cheek. “Oh, no way…” Bam held eye contact with Johnny as purred into your ear, speaking melodically as he taunted both you and him, “I gotch’re woman…an’ I don’t feel like givin’ her back.” Adding insult to injury, with his torso pressed snug against your back in a crude imitation of intimacy, his free hand, which was sitting on your hip, slid up your body posessively, reaching to roughly fondle your chest as he let out a low, predatory growl, his gaze challenging the cowboy across from him.

If you could’ve seen the white hot fury in Johnny’s eyes. Blinded by rage, he didn’t even consider using the pistol tucked into his holster, instead lunging to tackle Bam to the ground. You slipped out of his tight grasp just in time, clamoring to safety on your hands and knees on the hardwood floor as the cowboy just wailed on the guy. The struggle between the two was like watching two bighorn sheep with their horns locked in conflict, a blur of instinct and emotion, all rabid and teeth and fists. Letting out shuddering breaths, all you could do was watch the violent scene in front of you with your heart pounding out of your chest, not daring to move an inch. The only thing that could’ve pulled Johnny off of the man beneath him was when the town sheriff stormed in, grabbing him by the back of his shirt collar and throwing him off of the bandit king, or what was left of him as he lay limp on the ground. He was beaten to a pulp, almost literally- just a wheezing, bubbling mess of blood and bruising with a few teeth missing. Pulling Bam up by his sweat soaked black curls, Sheriff Tremaine held him to dangle in the air, glaring at the man in his hand with unadulterated disgust, “You’n you’re little gang’re goin’ away for a while.” There was no doubt that he had witnessed the brutality the cowboy inflicted, especially with the blood still dripping off of his still raw knuckles, but it seemed that he would let it slide this time, glancing to you and Johnny and tipping his hat, “We’re gonna get to roundin’ up the rest’a these bandits.”

Without a proper leader, the most fearsome gang of criminals in the west were left with nothing to hold them together, letting the sheriff's men easily pick them off and throw them in the slammer where they rightfully belonged. Life, for once in that godforsaken town, was peaceful. And Johnny? Well, after he was credited as the man who took down the bandits, he was hailed as the town hero, especially after he helped rebuild the bar and returned Jezebel to her stall at the town stables. Even Madame Evette had taken a liking to him, permitting him to come and go to the parlor whenever he felt the need to visit you- on the condition that he got a new pair of boots.

[ahoystevee]

Dazzling Starlet, Bardot Reincarnate

It’s 1990. Eddie Munson did Steve Harrington the favour of being his first male sexual encounter and is filled with deep regret when Steve Harrington shows up at his apartment needing his help months later.

OR: Steve’s parents find magazines under his bed and Eddie begrudgingly lets him stay at his apartment and hates every second even though hes secretly a sweetie with a soft spot

"I cannot fucking believe it." Eddie grumbled, arm leaning against the surface of the bar as he glared over the rim of his glass.

"What?" Robin asked, immediately averting her gaze to Eddie's line of sight.

"Oh, you're talking about Steve again. Shocking." Robin sang, tone tainted in sarcasm.

It had been three months since Eddie had kicked Steve out of his apartment the morning after their surprising, yet oddly exhilarating sexual excursion.

He'd done Steve a favour, Eddie got laid. Quid pro quo. All's fair in sex and war.

Eddie was of the assumption that he was free of him, that life would go back to normal after Steve Harrington. Like plucking a blood sucking leech from your skin knee deep in a shallow river or finally digging out that splinter in your finger with a pair of tweezers.

But no.

Because Steve Harrington was everywhere.

All of the time.

Dancing, flirting, kissing.

He'd become a regular at Eddie's most sacred place. His Nirvana, his church. Valhalla, Abraham's bosom, whatever you wanted to call it.

Thursday to Saturday, as soon as those club doors opened at 9pm, there he was. He'd even made friends with the bouncers so he could skip the queue each time. The guy had a fucking membership card and every single person in there knew who he was.

Eddie shrugged it off at first. He's young, he's finding himself. He deserves to blow off some steam and have a little fun. The sex was pretty much the only joy of being gay so he couldn't blame him too much.

Eddie would watch him saunter up to past, present - and what he was hoping were future - flings without a care in the world. He cut his T-shirts up into crop tops to show off his abs, he started wearing eyeliner, he would tease and flirt with anyone who so much as looked in his direction.

He had a posse of men around him at all times with their hands all over him.

And Eddie was forced to bear witness to all of it.

Eddie whips around to face Robin behind the bar, slamming his glass down on the surface.

"I used to be the best fucking ride in here. Then he comes along acting like he owns the place and everyone flocks to him like Jesus' disciples after he waltzed out of his cave." Eddie seethed through gritted teeth.

"They're just a bunch of cock starved hedonists. Y'know I thought we had a little humility about us. Evidently fucking not."

Robin rolled her eyes, drying a glass with a dish towel.

"He's just the hot new thing, you know how this place goes. Some other poor unsuspecting twink will come along in a week and everyone will forget about him."

"I literally taught him everything he knows."

"Well - at least you don't have to deal with him anymore. You did him a solid and now he's - giving everyone else a solid." Robin snickered.

Eddie downed his drink, sliding the empty glass across the bar.

"Makes me sick." He spat.

"You're not jealous are you?" Robin smiled slyly as she poured a single measurement full of Eddie's favourite whiskey.

Jim Beam. Old reliable, Jim. That was the one man who couldn't piss Eddie off even if he tried.

"No, no - I'm not fucking jealous."

"Sounds like you're jealous." Robin thinned her lips and widened her eyes cautiously as she handed Eddie his drink.

"Screw you, man. I just think it's a bit rich coming from the guy who didn't even know how to finger himself three months ago." Robin grimaced as Eddie took a hefty sip.

"Like, how good can he be really? He's a bottom, all he does is lay there. I was the one doing all the work! Me!" He exclaimed as Robin continued to stare at him.

"What?"

"It just sounds like you're a bit upset that after your steamy night of passion, he seems to have forgotten all about you."

"That doesn't upset me." Eddie sneered.

"Its preferable he forgets all about me. I like it that way."

"Sure." Robin said, lowering her gaze to bite back a smile she was desperately trying hard to hide from Eddie.

"Are you forgetting that I could have had him again? I'm the one who sent him packing the next morning. I didn't get down on my knees and beg him to stay. I wanted him gone."

"Well, there you go then. I don't know what you're so uptight about!" Robin declared, slapping her hands against her thighs in defeat.

Eddie turned around, realising he wasn't going to be getting the validation from Robin anytime soon. Ever the pacifist.

Eddie watched as Steve raked a hand through his hair - his already cropped shirt lifting even higher as Eddie's eyes unwillingly glazed over the scope of his body.

God.

Steve gleamed at Eddie, making his way over to the bar.

"Oh my fucking God there's no escape is there." Eddie muttered.

"Hey." Steve called out breathlessly, smiling at Eddie.

"Hi." Eddie grumbled, leaning back against the bar and crossing his arms tightly against his chest.

"You look like you're having fun."

"I would say the same for you, but - looks a bit dry over here." He retaliated, directing his attention to Robin and offering her a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Could I get a vodka lime and soda please, Robin?"

"Sure thing!" Robin responded.

A little too politely for Eddie's liking.

"Vodka lime and soda? What are you a forty year old woman watching her figure?" Eddie mocked, peering at Steve in his peripheral.

"Well - I was gonna offer to buy you a drink"-

"No thanks. I don't take handouts." He interjected, hurriedly.

"So testy." Steve acknowledged - folding his arms against the bar, elbow knocking against Eddie's as he situated himself mere inches against his face.

"And for your information - It's the opposite of dry, thank you very much. We're having a blast."

"Yeah, it's a real hoot and a half over here." Robin deadpanned, topping Steve's drink off with soda water.

"Coulda fooled me." Steve shrugged.

"Not going out there?" He asked, cocking his head over to the main floor filled with bustling bodies.

"Nah, just observing tonight. I'm not interested in chasing around a bunch of fucked out crystal queens with blown out pupils right now."

"Y'know - I've seen you a couple times - you haven't left with anybody in a while." Steve acknowledged.

"So?"

"So - could the great Eddie Munson be past his prime?"

Oh, this kid had a death wish.

Continue reading on ao3

[fluffydice]

you should definitely write that yandere saiki idea you posted a bit ago if given the chance bc i would go feral. ur writing so good. scratches brain just right.

Kicking and screaming I REFUSE (until i clear up my writing schedule for the month,,,) you CANT MAKE ME-

Wordcount: 810

Warnings for referenced abusive relationships, and vague implications of dehumanization (treating someone more like a pet than a human)

The word ‘abomination’, no matter how harsh, kept brushing Kusuo’s thoughts. This Kuboyasu was so meek and dependent, the exact opposite of his own. Always on his heels like a loyal dog, staring at him attentively at the slightest movement. It made his stomach cramp. That wasn’t who Kuboyasu was. This boy had been twisted by his alternate self, and yet refused to see it. 

Kusuo stalked up his stairs and tried to think. Maybe it was a blessing he couldn’t read his mind. (Side effect of being from another dimension?) Kusuo didn’t want to hear his thought process, didn’t want to hear the praises and adoration for him that no doubt suffused this Kuboyasu’s thoughts. Telepathy would only keep Kusuo further away, out of pure disgust for what had happened to the other. It-

Oop. It might have kept Kusuo from ripping open his door and walking in on the other Kuboyasu changing. Kusuo froze in shock, his face beginning to burn, entirely unaware of what to do in this situation. This was never a problem he’d had to deal with before. What did people even do!? Oh, good grief, shit, normal people had it rough-

“Oh, you’re back!” Kuboyasu smiled, entirely too eager for someone standing in just their boxers. He was holding the shirt Kusuo had snatched from regular world’s Kuboyasu’s room, and in one smooth motion, it was tugged over his head. He hadn’t even jumped when Kusuo came in, like he was entirely certain of his safety here. 

Crazy. Kusuo couldn’t even fathom the idea. “Sorry,” he offered, a bit late. 

Kuboyasu gave him a confused look. “For what?”

…Ugh. “Nothing,” Kusuo sighed, realizing it wasn’t worth it. Kuboyasu sat down on Kusuo’s bed to tug up his pants, and Kusuo found himself staring. 

This Kuboyasu was abnormally pale. It made him look sick. But everything else pointed to a high degree of health; He was a nice weight and lacked even a hint of eye bags. His hair had a pleasant sheen to it that seemed to belie the assumption of low vitamin D, which made Kusuo think that the other him was even accounting for things like that. Pills, maybe?

Pills that Kuboyasu wouldn’t even be allowed to get himself. He had to rely on alternate Kusuo for all his needs, in complete control of another human being. 

Kusuo was suddenly reminded of his brother. He gave a hidden camera a quick glare, inwardly wondering what he made of the situation. 

Kusuo looked down, viscerally uncomfortable in his own body, then steeled himself. He forced his gaze back up. “Kuboyasu,” he said, getting the other’s attention. The boy straightened up, but Kusuo didn’t miss the flash of hurt at the usage of his last name. “What did you do? Before me?”

Kuboyasu’s eyes, without his glasses, were so wide. Guileless. Despite Kusuo’s Kuboyasu’s genuineness, he never looked like that. Fully trusting, nothing on his mind beyond adoration for the person speaking to him. It made Kusuo think about the dogs he saw sometimes, staring up at their owners like they were their whole world. Hell, Kusuo was this guy’s whole world. It was all he was allowed to see. 

A person who would never betray him, someone who would only ever see the good in him. Someone who loved as easily as they breathed because that’s all they had been trained to do. 

For a sickening moment, Kusuo could almost see the appeal in having that full-bodied trust, that security of love. Someone who would never hurt him by leaving.

A beat. Then- “I don’t remember,” Kuboyasu responded, smiling sweetly again. “Nothing, maybe. There wasn’t anything before you.”

So romantic. So heart-stoppingly, gut-churning horrific. Kusuo took a step back, shaking in sudden terror at himself. Alternate him, him-him, whatever it was. Other him had gone drunk with power over someone. That’s all this was. But there was a biting shame at the realization that this was something he himself was capable of, too. If he was pushed just enough, abandoned just one time too many-

Kusuo tugged open the door and fled. For a moment, he thought about leaving, but found himself stopping at the top of the stairway, breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut. 

He was in charge of Kuboyasu’s care right now. It obviously upset the other when he left. Alternate him had made this mess, and now Kusuo had to accept the fact that he was the one holding the reins for now. 

He could hear Kuboyasu approaching hesitantly, obviously unsure of his place after being rejected by Kusuo so many times. He forced himself to turn around and cleared his face of any discomfort. 

Kuboyasu was too fragile to go through a new environment, a new reality, without his security blanket. Kusuo couldn’t push him away; it’d break him. 

And something told Kusuo that alternate him would be none-too-pleased to get his favorite pet back in pieces.

[marlynnofmany]

So this exists now, and I couldn't be more delighted. Have a brief Season Two fix-it fic / epilogue, because it definitely needed to exist.

~~~

I Will Face God and Walk Backwards Into Hell 1296 words

Aziraphale felt ill at ease from the moment he reached Heaven. He was always on guard there, ready to be judged harshly, but this was … unprecedented. Trying not to show it, he squared his shoulders and soldiered on. He’d made his clothes presentable to Heaven’s standards in the elevator as usual. He did his best to act as if following the Metatron to an extremely unexpected new post was nothing out of the ordinary.

But oh, the Metatron hadn’t told the other archangels yet. And that interaction went just as well as you’d expect.

They were polite, mostly. A bit shocked, which was understandable, and Michael visibly stopped herself from saying something unwise. Sandalphon did nothing but glare. Aziraphale managed not to fidget purely by force of will.

He told himself to remember the greater good, and he kept regally silent while the Metatron smoothed the way for him. This would be okay. A bumpy start, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He was going to change things for the better.

And he thought he actually could, for a while. There was an office, which was nice and posh, and there were meetings that the Metatron facilitated in which his now-subordinate archangels listened to the many ideas he had for the betterment of humanity. They even agreed to roll some out immediately.

But there were also meetings which the Metatron did not attend, and those were very different. The others talked over him ruthlessly, Michael in particular, and focused on the business of Heaven with little regard for Earth.

Aziraphale suspected that there were other meetings that he himself was not invited to, where they discussed the twice-delayed Armageddon that he was so firmly against. The Metatron still hadn’t brought up the subject of the Second Coming, which he’d hinted at before.

Never mind the fact that Aziraphale had put forth several well-thought-out measures for how to sway humanity as a whole toward the path of good, thus making any kind of conflict unnecessary. And the fact that God still hadn’t made any official pronouncements in a very long time. Aziraphale would have liked to question the Metatron directly on that matter, but he didn’t want to press his luck.

So he focused on doing good. Implementing what changes he could, keeping tabs on Hell’s actions as best he was allowed, and leading by example.

He tried not to think about Crowley. Sometimes it was hard not to, especially when checking up on Hell, but he did try. And he shared his thoughts with no one.

He’d managed to convince himself that he was doing a respectable job of things by the time he arrived at a regular meeting and found that all of his plans had been stalled, and some even rolled back entirely. Michael had a smug list of excuses. Uriel backed her up while Sandalphon grinned, and Saraqael just looked unimpressed. The Metatron acted as if everything was business as usual.

Aziraphale held his tongue and pressed with ultimate politeness for the resumption of at least the most important. Michael gave him the barest of concessions.

After the meeting, he cornered the Metatron in his office and demanded answers, afire with righteous indignation and no little amount of hurt. What was this insubordination, and why was the Metatron going along with it? Why even promote Aziraphale if this was what it led to? Was the role he was supposedly so well-suited to just as a figurehead? Was this God’s plan??

The Metatron was an unflappable as usual. He said simply that Aziraphale was welcome to ask God herself, if he doubted Her wisdom. The assumption was clearly that he would back down, shrink back into himself like he’d always done, and let the rest of Heaven have their way.

Instead, Aziraphale regarded him steadily. “I think I’d rather like a chat, if you please,” he said. When the Metatron didn’t move, he gestured for him to get on with it.

Aziraphale wasn’t privately sure who was calling whose bluff, but he stood tall while the Metatron went through the motions of requesting God’s presence. Was this even how it was done these days? He had no way of knowing. He pretended that he did.

A column of light shone into the room. The Metatron’s flourish for Aziraphale to proceed was more than a little sarcastic.

Aziraphale kept his cool and spoke into the light. He asked of his plans to improve humanity’s moral standing, to turn the Earth onto the path toward an endless Eden, with no need for war and no place for Hell’s influences to gain a foothold. He spoke of the resistance he’d gotten from the other archangels. He even spoke of thoughts he’d never shared with anyone: that someday even demons might redeem themselves enough to be forgiven. He could certainly cite one example that deserved it. He didn’t look at the Metatron as he said so.

Finally the voice of God filled the room. “You mean the Archduke Crowley? He’s served his purpose. Hardly doing much to redeem himself these days.”

Stung, Aziraphale demanded, “And is that part of your ineffable plan??”

The smile in God’s voice was absolutely infuriating. “That’s for me to know and you to find out, Aziraphale. Now why don’t you get back to work and do as you’re told?”

Aziraphale gaped, lost for words.

When the Metatron chuckled condescendingly and started forward, Aziraphale held up a hand.

“No,” he said to the Metatron. Then he repeated, “No,” to the shaft of light. “In fact,” he continued, making the first rude gesture in Heaven since Crowley had pulled one behind Michael’s back. “Hell no,” Aziraphale hissed, setting both of his middle fingers alight with holy fire.

He held them up proudly and strode backwards out the door while the Metatron sputtered and God was silent.

(If there was any ineffable snickering at how well this was playing out, God kept it strictly to Herself.)

Aziraphale continued walking backwards through Heaven, fingers held aloft and aflame, now with his wings spread for maximum emphasis for anyone who was watching. Judging by the gasps from all sides, many were. He didn’t turn his head.

The escalator down was slow, but he was patient. He simply angled his arms upward at all the staring faces. Then when he reached the ground floor, he stepped to the side and continued downward.

An angel glowing with holy fire blazes quite a trail in Hell, even one walking backwards.

It didn’t take him any time at all to find Crowley. The door opened behind him, and he finally lowered his hands to turn around. He let the flames go out.

Crowley sat on a throne much more grand and terrible than the ostentatious chair in his old flat, with elaborate robes patterned in snakeskin echoing the scales that crawled across his face. His eyes blazed yellow. His expression was stony. Minor demons cowered on all sides.

Aziraphale gathered himself, saying nothing.

Then he did the dance.

“You were right. You were right. I was wrong; you were right.”

He held the final pose while Crowley quirked an eyebrow.

“Very nice,” said the demon, starting to smile.

Aziraphale stood and held out a hand with an answering smile. “I hear Alpha Centauri is lovely this time of year.”

Crowley was silent for just long enough to make him doubt, then he surged to his feet, shedding robes and pretense as he crossed the room. Ignoring Aziraphale’s hand completely, he grabbed his fancy shirt and kissed him deeply. His teeth were sharper than usual.

Aziraphale found that he quite liked it, and kissed him back. The scandalized noises of the crowd of demons faded away as they left to just be an “us.”

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Okay but I just had a thought about Ace Tav - backup: every other identity doesn’t seem to be shocking anyone, in universe history with these things are clearly different from ours, etc, so what can we infer from that - so somewhere in the cities there must be an ace community? Maybe? What would baldurian ace culture look like? Does Tav know about this? Or does she think she’s alone?

It’s a bit tricky. Because I think your right that nobody in the Baldur’s Gate universe seems all too shocked by homosexuality/polyamory/pansexuality or anything else in the alphabet. I honeslty don’t even think those communities would need to form since it seems so the norm. It’s not counterculture it just is the culture.

On the other hand, it does seem to be a society that functions under allonormativity. A least, we’re never explicitly shown asexual/aromantic characters or those types of relationships. Honestly, I’ve been writing Ace!Tav under the assumption that asexuality functions under the same conditions it does in our world; namely relatively invisible and in regular need of explanation.

With all that being said, it’s very possible an ace community would exist because it would be counter culture.

I honestly have no idea what it would look like. I imagine it’s relatively small and highly localized. Tav hasn’t ever stayed in one place long enough to form meaningful connections with anyone, let alone find a community like her. I imagine she does feel like she’s alone, hence why it took her so long to figure out her own boundaries. Hell, I’m not even sure they have the word for it, but it’s how they feel.

I do think Tav and Astarion would go adventuring together post-Absolute, but they could easily discover a community somewhere in Faerun. It just might take some time.

[seriousbrat]

Hi! I love reading your takes on characters, and I just wanted to share my thoughts on Lily's character. Sorry if this gets a bit long!

I really wish more people explored Lily’s character in the context of living at the intersection of two completely different worlds, where she never fully fit into either.

People often overlook this crucial aspect of her life, reducing her to a “Mary Sue” who faced no challenges, but her very existence was a constant struggle. Not only does this term disproportionately target female characters, but it also dismisses Lily’s strength and talent, implying she can’t possess these qualities without facing criticism—unlike her male counterparts. Somehow, people find it difficult to accept that she was simply a good person.

Exploring her experience as a Muggle-born, trying to navigate both worlds, is far more compelling than the oversimplified portrayal she usually gets. It’s what adds depth to her story: just as Petunia’s life emphasizes normalcy, so does Lily’s. I’ve always viewed Lily’s story as that of a normal girl from a normal family, thrown into an abnormal reality she constantly had to deal with—and in the end, it tragically cost her life.

I think the misconception about Muggle-born experiences comes from the common assumption that the wizarding world is extremely progressive, when in reality, it’s far from it. There's also the mistaken belief that Muggle-borns are automatically willing to leave behind their old lives—family, friends, and their familiar way of life—simply because they discover magic.

You can be fascinated by magic yet still feel unsettled by the society that comes with it. The wonder of magic doesn’t automatically mean embracing the quirks or problematic aspects of the wizarding world, which might feel alien or uncomfortable, especially for someone new to it. Cultural shock is still a cultural shock.

(I hc that Lily might share some views with her sister regarding wizards, like considering their clothing to be strange. Or like writing with a quill isn't very practical when you could simply use a regular pencil or pen)

Not only do you spend most of the year away from your family and have to give up your Muggle friends, but when you come back, you have to constantly lie because of the Statute of Secrecy.

It’s really difficult to leave the wizarding world if you want to because you can’t get back the time you need for a normal education. Participating in school activities is essential for obtaining recommendations to apply for university or college, which is necessary to secure a stable job and build a stable life.

Muggle-borns have a major hurdle when it comes to finding jobs, as employers tend to favor those who were born into the wizarding world. Additionally, the wizarding economy itself is quite strange.

Now imagine it’s the 1970s during the first wizarding war: a terrifying time for Muggle-borns, living under the constant threat of a literal human hunt targeting them and their families.

Some may think it’s odd that Lily was the only known Muggle-born to join the Order during the first wizarding war, but in reality, many likely chose to hide or flee the UK. That's why I love to view Mary Macdonald as Lily’s closest female friend, someone who opted for a different path and gave up on magic. This dynamic would realistically capture the harsh realities of their time:

How their once a fairy tale turned into a nightmare

Absolutely! In many ways, wizarding society is basically a dystopia; it's absolutely meant to be a microcosm of the injustice of real life. I'm mostly just going to leave this ask without much comment because I think it's great!

I'm also a Mary MacDonald fan although I have had a slightly different take on her than what I think is the norm. It just breaks my heart to think that Lily had close friends who survived the war but never reached out to Harry, personally, which is why I also support Marlene-as-Lily's-friend theory even though I know a lot of canon truthers like myself aren't fans of that.

VERY off topic but this made me remember a character I had in a HP roleplay site (I know lol) years ago who was a muggleborn who didn't want to be magical and generally rejected magic because she wanted to be a pro skateboarder/pop star. It was set in the 90s and for her sorting I had to answer a question that was something like "what do you most want to do with your magical powers" and her answer was "bring tupac back from the dead." Quite often I think about how good that character was and how I wish I could use her for something else.

[dramatic-squirrel]

Daminette December Day 29- Membership

@maribat-calendar-events

Stars lit up the window, creating a view like none other but, more eye catching than any other star, was the sight of Earth, floating there in all of its various hues of blue, green and brown. It was so gorgeous that Ladybug zoned out of the conversation as she thought of how to best depict the colors of Earth in an outfit. 

“-bug. Ladybug!” Superman’s voice finally brought her out of her trance.

She jumped slightly before responding. “Yes! Sorry, what is it?” 

Superman gave a little chuckle because all new timers were like that at first. “We were just saying congratulations on becoming a member of the Justice League.” He expected awe, happiness, maybe even a little shock. What stared back at him was none of those emotions.

“What?” Her head tilted to the side as she tried to understand what was going on. “Why am I being inducted into the Justice League?”

Superman looked at Wonder Woman. This wasn’t something that happened often and he wasn’t sure what to do. Knowing distress when she sees it Wonder Woman stepped in to explain. “Because of your valor, sharp wit, selflessness, and abilities, the core members have decided to offer you membership into the league. Be honored Little Ladybug,” she placed a hand on the young girl’s shoulder. “You’ll stand amongst the greatest warriors of Earth in order to defend it.”

Ladybug stepped away from the duo before trying to ease the tension gathering on her forehead. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Did none of you talk to Batman or Robin before deciding this? I thought I made my stance on this very clear to them.”

“They’re dealing with a lot of Rogue problems in Gotham right now, so we excused Batman and his team from any decision making for the time being.” Superman explained. “Why, what’s the issue?”

“I’m not joining the league, now or ever.” This time it was the two of them who were confused. “First of all, I just entered college and the league is a full-time commitment I do not have the energy or time for. And secondly,” she held up her hand when Superman was about to protest. “The miraculouses are not meant to be governed by an external force.”

“What do you mean, Ladybug?” Wonder Woman questioned.

“I mean, that I can’t work under someone, when I have to take responsibility as the guardian of the miraculouses. If I join the JL, there will be the expectation that the Justice League has control over the miraculouses, who wields them, where they are stored and so forth. Not only is that a ridiculous amount of power, all controlled by one group, but you all have no clue how to properly deal with the miraculouses.”

“That's a big assumption on your part, Ladybug. We can give you full autonomy over the miraculouses as that is your duty. Joining the League will give you greater access to resources to help you solve crime.”

She shook her head again. “I’m willing to be allies, but how will the rest of the world react to you gaining such powerful magic? The world needs to understand that if the Justice League is compromised, I can step in to save people. Batman agrees with me on this.”

Superman sighed as Batman once again made his way into another failsafe against the League. “Well, we can’t force you. But I thought you would have been happy, being in the League with your fiance.”

“Please. We see enough of each other already. If I had to fight crime with him too, on a regular basis, I think we’d get sick of each other.” Wonder Woman and Superman shared a look, was she dense or simply too close to see how much Robin actually cared?

[gurugirl]

Do you have any strong thoughts on Harry as a partner?

I was really disappointed with how he acted with Olivia and then Emrata after. If they are really friends I think that's such a dick move from him, really gave me the ick tbh. Anyone not famous I would be like what a twat, but because he's Harry Styles it's like he gets a pass. I just think he's become a bit of a fake and he's actually not respectful of women at all.

Even if Holivia wasn't real, it still made Olivia look stupid and caused tabloid fodder between two women AGAIN and anyone who does that to someone else is a bit off in my book. And yeah she's done problematic stuff too, but not enough to deserve shit in my opinion.

Idk, I'm not expecting any defence or otherwise from you, guess I just wanted to get my thoughts down. It just made me sad to see because I've been a fan of Harry's since I saw him on the X factor when I was 15.

He's still a man I guess, don't know why I continue to be shocked by men's behaviour lmao.

Sorry this is ranty, I love your writing and I think you're so super talented! Sending you love ❤️

I don’t have strong thoughts on Harry as a partner. I feel like he’s very much a man who puts his job (music) first - above a relationship. And I would imagine that anyone he gets with would be forewarned of this.

I think he’s not someone I’d want to be in a relationship with (that’s not to say I wouldn’t roll around int the sack with him for a bit of fun) because I need to be a priority and I need attention in a relationship. Like with Olivia, I agree - that whole thing was a disaster and she wound up looking like a fool and he did nothing to stop that.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say he doesn’t respect women because we don’t know what’s going on behind everything but he certainly puts himself first and like you said he’s just a regular (hot and famous) dude who probably likes to get his dick wet from time to time.

In the end I don’t know him and I don’t know what’s going on in his personal life because anyone who knows him doesn’t talk and he is so vague… we can only make assumptions about him.

Thank you for sending me your thoughts on this! It’s fine if it’s ranty - we all need to rant sometimes! Thank you for the kind words too 🖤🖤

Xoxo

[iamthecomet]

-slides in and sets down a cup of herbal tea-

To your post about a regular saying, "You're sharp for your age!" my friend, who is, coincidentally, also working in a library (she's a youth services librarian) gets mistaken for being younger quite a lot, and for much the same reason she gets told similar things, because too often people associate age with wisdom/intelligence.

I also get mistaken for being younger by customers due to my looks, even some people I've known for years are shocked to learn I'm not, like, sixteen.

Sometimes it feels like a jab or a backhanded compliment, and, in some ways it is, even if not intentionally so, and it takes a lot of my energy not to be bothered by it.

And other times I find a way to work it into the conversation that, no, actually, I am an adult and have been for years.

Then there's the folks that keep telling me, "Don't get old" because "things start to hurt", and I'm over here, having had to deal with chronic pain/illness since I was a child, and who didn't think I'd make it this far, and that's the stuff that really gets to me.

But, like, looping back, it's always strange the things strangers/patrons will say to you sometimes.

Weird assumptions or out of the blue questions/statements that have you going, "What?" the rest of the day.

Anyway, on a completely different note, when I got to work today, there were a bunch of cops in the back parking lot while I was unlocking the shop, and they were still there when I came out to tend to the animals, and I thought I felt one of them looking at me.

And, yeah, yeah they were, because they were watching me water the ducks.

So I'm standing there with a hose, trying not to make eye contact with them while I talk to the ducks like, "Yes, yes, here is your water, do you want a bug bath today, Duck Duck?"

This is the second time I've walked up on a... a herd? a herd of cops in the parking lot that suddenly turned to look at me.

-leaves some extra cookies-

*sits down with my tea and a cookie* I moved back to the town I grew up in as an adult and it has been a wild experience. Mostly because of exactly this. These people have known me my whole life but still picture me as a teenager so therefore I must still be a teenager right?

The other great part of the whole interaction was she asked me, like five minutes before that comment, how old I was going to be on my birthday (because it came up in conversation that my birthday is this week), and I told her. And she went--in a baby voice-- "oh you're just a babbyyy" I'm sorry that you also have to deal with this shit on the regular, but also I'm kind of glad that we can at least commiserate about it. As a semi side note, I don't get the "don't get older" thing. What would you prefer I do? Die? Like I know it's a saying and I get it but it's stupid and we should stop saying it. And why do you keep running into herds of cops? That's honestly one of the scariest things you can run into in the wild. They're so fucking creepy. God, I'm glad they left you alone (except for the staring at you part, wtf?) and let you water the ducks in (sort of) peace.

[mcgnussen]

THOUGHTS ON K-MAG AND F1 GOSSIP 

first of all, after this then i am done addressing everything related to kevin’s night out this weekend, so i will not be answering anons about it. there is really nothing more for me to say. it is all just speculation based on an alleged video of kevin talking to another woman in the club, how scandalous of him to have a conversation with a woman 😅 however, to the anon who sent me details about where kevin supposedly partied this weekend: i have no idea how this information, if true, was obtained, but i sincerely hope it is not shared online with people in real time. kevin has had quite serious stalker issues in the past. sharing information about his current location is really not okay. i understand that it does not really matter after the fact, but yeah, please do not share in real time. and besides that, it is pretty weird tracking drivers - especially when they are at “home” like please do not do that. a big portion of kevin’s life is already in the public eye. he should be able to go out with friends without everyone knowing exactly where he is, what he did and who he was with. it is an unhealthy way to be a fan of someone.

second of all, this whole saga has led me to get a glimpse of the gossip side of f1 and i’m pretty taken aback by how serious people are about it. i have obviously seen things on tumblr, but i just feel like we have mainly laughed at it and joked about how crazy some of the rumours are. but to my horror, there is a substantial amount of people who believe everything they read and then they go digging looking for any kind of “evidence”, they also make crazy assumptions based on nothing 😅   

all of this leads me to what i have really been thinking about most of the day. i think a lot of the people who has made the giant leap from kevin talking to a woman on a night out to kevin cheating on his wife are primarily younger girls. i hope that is the case since then they will hopefully grow of that. but i had a pretty interesting conversation with someone familiar with the gossip world of f1. they told me that kevin has gotten a reputation as a “horndog” simply for following a woman who either work or has worked for the haas team. this woman posts some pictures of herself not wearing a lot of clothes, but again this is instagram, not onlyfans, so it’s just her in swimsuits and stuff among regular posts. like they are judging his whole character because of that - and kevin actually knows her. he follows a lot of people from haas. women should be able to embrace their sexuality and post pictures showing skin. i hope we all agree that there is power in that. it is reclaiming and taking control over something that was taken from us as women for a very long time. but believing that means that men in these women’s lives should unfollow them if they start posting such pictures is such a conservative take. and in my opinion, it is also anti-feminist. by judging the men following these women, you are judging the women themselves. you are saying there is some inherently wrong with showing skin as a woman. that showing skin must be sexual. you are saying you believe the goal is to be sexy to cater to men.  

and talking to women as a married man is not a crime. this is also such a conservative of looking at romantic relationships. are we at the point where a man talking to a woman must be a sign of cheating? that is such a controlling and skewed perception of romance. a healthy relationship is based on trust. trying to control who you partner follow on social media, who they talk to and so on is the ultimately showing of lack of trust. but i digress. i am danish and a child of former hippies lmao, so this kind of thinking is just a culture shock. but i truly find it horrifying that some people believe you should basically stop interacting with members of the opposite sex if you are in a relationship. i have a lot more thoughts on this, but i have already rambled for too long and i am sure no one is reading this far into my little rant.   

i know i cannot stop gossip, speculation and digging from happening, but i really do urge everyone unironically involved in this side of f1 to make use of their critical thinking skills. gossip is gossip. as long as people don’t lose sight of that then it is harmless and fun, but as soon as people start forming actual opinions based on rumours then it is a problem. these drivers are rich and privileged and they do actual shitty things. let us judge them based on what they do and say instead of judging them based on possible things they could have done.

[notmuchtoconceal]

Your tumblr is near enough mind-melting with how awesome it is. It's real difficult not to get completely lost in the archives. Would be interested in showing off some alpha cowboys who like lassoing their prey?

bro, i really appreciate you saying this. i haven't been keeping up with my own work lately. i don't read it or enjoy it or know what it's about it.

used to be i really primped and polished and took my time with everything i wrote, but the highly repetitive nature of the sex act or the gym act or the sacrificial rite, tied to genre stratification tied to my own personal need to evolve and grow, sometimes it's a struggle to keep things interesting -- personally and creatively. think what i'm doing now is goin as fast as i can and with as little thought as i can to push myself to favor first impulses and rapid production -- to see how my process is effected, as well as the quality of the work itself.

the things i write -- you may have noticed, they're similar and they're not.

sometimes it'll be three AM and one person will like one random thing in my backlog, and I won't see em again until another three AM nights later.

sometimes a dude'll like twenty or thirty posts of mine in a row, then follow and i'll start to see em either in regular rotation or else just keep hittin me with the splurges -- every few weeks or months.

makes me wonder what people are doing in my backlog. how long they're back there, what they're looking at, what they're reading, what the whole labyrinthine experience of getting lost is like.

it's hard not to notice the sorts of things that people reblog. there's an undeniable tendency towards agreeableness and safety. this makes intuitive sense, as many individuals like to see themselves as activists or connoisseurs with the content they reblog, but let's not kid ourselves -- an online page is curated space where individuals assemble objects to create an aesthetic impression of their inner lives. the objects arranged just so communicate -- this is me. this is what i'm about.

you may read something and find it heartfelt, shocking, rhapsodic. you may read something that makes you think, that haunts you, that changes you. nevertheless, since it doesn't fit the curated experience of yourself you've assembled for your online page, the more vibrant reality of this thing you read is fated to remain unengaged with, left to molder in obscurity in some dust bin of memory, the experience nevertheless enduring, haunting you, effecting a subtle sway on your actions.

it doesn't matter if it's erotic, polemical, poetic -- any sufficiently novel effect can jar you out of your pre-conceived notions long enough to make you truly reconsider something you'd absolutely taken for granted, and if it seems too shocking for approval by other people, you're liable to ignore it because ultimately the opinions of our peer group matter more than considerations of truth, because our peer group is what's most immediate and visible and truth is so abstract it may as well not be real.

this problem is only compounded by the implicit assumption that a person -- and thus their mind and soul -- ought only be "one thing" as the value of a person isn't in cultivating a holistic personality or skill-set, but their immediate one-way use value to others, as most individuals still bare the scars of a culture shaped by top-down workplace abuse.

to risk putting something on your page which clashes -- violently, discordantly -- with your curated ego, though you recognize the utility it has to free other curated egos from their bondage -- this may not be a revolutionary act in itself, but it can help train you for further revolutionary acts by getting you in the mindset to indulge in some occasional rebellion.

the important thing is you start training yourself to act for self-liberation.

a person is the consequence of their applied actions.

if you continuously make the effort to live a more free and open life, it will only be a matter of time until you're doing so, though you must be ready and willing to confront the ways other people want to keep you muzzled.

you are recognizing a way the status quo is impeding the net spread of human liberation through a harmless social convention -- everyone's page is "for them" and this is individually charming, though can stagnate on a large enough scale -- and you disregard it, coyly, and in doing so invite others to follow suit. voila. now we still have personal pages, but we also have deeper connections and a net increase in authenticity.

the world is a better place and everybody wins. you told the truth and it cost you nothing. someone might be mad at you, but since you reblogged this and thus think it must be right, your first impulse should be that the person who might want to give you shit is wrong.

to wrap this up, i'll add -- absolutely.

the other day i had a blonde thought that the cowboy's basically a knight of rugged individualism, the one true american ethos.

he ain't in uniform, but he's still in uniform.

that's the way it be sometimes, brah.