#like i believe she had more than the regular version and maybe some of it ended up in the 10 minutes version

[lover-of-mine]

.

[temis-de-leon]

Pick me girls and OM! Brothers - Part 2

Characters: Satan, Asmo, Beel and Belphie (x reader, separately)

Part 1 - Lucifer, Mammon and Levi (x reader, separately)

Part 3 - Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon (x reader, separately)

Masterlist

CW: pick me girl behavior, one of these girls is actually really stupid, suggestive, mentions of sex between the brothers and mc, mentions of violence, a bit of magic, mentions of cheating (not actual cheating), nightmares, implied death, jealous mc, some fluff, some hurt, some comfort, still ooc but i had even more fun

.

Satan

Your boyfriend looked more offended than you ever had the chance to feel.

The cashier at the bookstore barely had the time to say anything about her supposed romance with the demon before he appeared in his signature pose: a hand in his hip and the other one over his chest.

He had been a regular for years and you didn't know if the girl had been delusional enough to believe she had something with him or if she was just jealous and wanted to make you feel bad.

You weren't sure which one was sadder.

"Am I hearing this correctly?" he said with spite, distracting you from your own thoughts "Are you so daft you were considering me reciprocating your feelings?"

The girl lowered her gaze, clearly embarrassed, and for a moment you felt guilty. Maybe she really thought she had something mutual going on with Satan; a crush that went too far in her own imagination.

She proved you wrong, however, when not only did she give you a side eye, but also said the most stupidest thing one could ever muster.

"Well, obviously you are so daft you chose them over me"

You couldn't waste time on feeling hurt; not when Satan was showing his fangs, letting his tail scratch the floor as it lashed behind him. As hot as he looked like this, it was not the moment nor the place to show his demon form in a fit of rage.

The stupid cashier seemed proud of getting a reaction out of him, finally catching his attention. Maybe she was a demon of wrath too? Maybe that's how she flirted with other demons?

The poor thing would be lucky if she ever lived to see another day.

Let her discover that fact on her own.

"She's not worth it, Satan" you urged, pushing him to the door "Let's go to that cat cafe you mentioned earlier. You said they had new kittens, right?"

That seemed to do the trick.

He looked at you with love, still mixed with anger and bewilderment, but not enough for you not to hold his hand and lean against him.

"I'm sorry, my dear" he murmured, then he spoke louder "Do not believe a word she said"

"I would never"

"Good"

He nodded to himself, like the idea of you believing the cashier was too stupid to even consider it, but neither of you could ignore how his hand stiffened in yours for a second.

"Let's go see some kittens" you said in a singing voice, leading him in the street towards your destination.

You failed to see the adoration in his eyes.

Asmo

This succubus dated Asmo long before you were even an idea in your parents' minds and she wanted you to keep that in mind.

She wanted you to know that everything you knew, she knew better (a blatant lie) and that Asmo preferred experience over novelty (ew).

"I remember the times we went to the sauna and... Oh, sorry, does he take you to the sauna?"

"He invited me a couple of times, yes" but I had to say no or else I would've boiled alive.

"And does he...?"

Does he. Does he. Does he.

He does. HE DOES. HE DEFINITELY DOES.

In which moment did you think going to The Fall was a better plan than doing each other's skincare routine while making fun of 50 shades of Grey?

The both of you could be criticizing that poor excuse of BDSM right now (before recreating the correct version), but, instead, Asmo was ordering the girliest cocktail ever made while this Camila Cabello wannabe harassed you.

"...that was a little joke between us"

Lord Diavolo she just kept going.

"I'm so happy you remember so well your past relationship with him" you intervened with a strain in your voice, "but maybe it's time for you to stop and leave"

The succubus smirked with a smugness that made your innards burn from the inside out.

"Don't get jealous! I'm sure he loves you too"

Oh my Lord.

The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch.

"Hon', look at this!"

There he came, your savior, dressed in a skimpy dress with hands full of shimmery drinks and a glint in his very beautiful loving eyes.

"They didn't have human beverages, but I swear the taste is impeccable, you'll love it! Just let me take a picture for Devilgram first"

Camila Cabello, as you had finally decided to call her, cleared her throat in search of the demon's attention. Asmodeus looked in her direction, obviously trying to remember who she was.

"Asmo, baby!" she was nothing but a smile full teeth and a mission. Her gaze a little desperate "Remember me?"

Her determination died, however, when Asmo's expression turned shocked after studying her. He grasped his chest in sorrow as he asked the funniest question you could hear at the moment.

"What are you wearing?"

Camila Cabello was finally at a loss of words and you briefly wondered if this had ever happened to her.

"If you're gonna meddle in my relationship with MC at least take effort in looking decent"

His expression was sweet, saccharine, but there was an underlying seriousness in his voice.

He was so beautiful. And he was all yours.

Beel

She was one of the boys, apparently. Beel had definitely never mentioned her, but the girl only laughed when you told her that.

"Wow, controlling much? Does he have to tell you about every friend?"

Well, no, Beel didn't have to inform you about everyone he's ever met, but your boyfriend was sweet enough to want you in every aspect of his life, thus introducing you to his friends, his teammates and even his gym bros.

Definitely not to this girl.

You looked at her in disbelief, licking your teeth with a calculating glance. How much would Beel care if you hit this airhead with a dumbbell?

"We hang out together almost every day" she boasted, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger "It's not even weird for me to be in the boys locker room"

Were you strong enough to throw a dumbbell?

Surely she'd rather be with them instead of you if she was 'one of the boys', no? Why would she be in the bleachers with you, waiting for the team to finish their training, when she could be in any other part of the field doing exercise or playing for another sport?

"I'm not making you insecure, am I?" asked the girl in poorly faked innocence "If he loves you so much you should have nothing to worry about"

"Oh, I trust him" you assured her, but you didn't sound as confident as you wanted to. Although Beel never gave you any reasons to doubt him, it was difficult to defend your relationship when this girl was so convinced everyone was in love with her.

"That's so cool"

You decided to ignore her and her mocking tone, hoping to end the conversation right there, but she just kept talking. It was obvious she wanted to get under your skin.

For what? you wondered. Did she expect Beel to leave you if she batted her lashes fast enough? Did she know Beel at all??

"Oh, Beely!"

You cringed with a scowl visible to everyone around you. Some of Beel's teammates laughed at your missfortune, while the others, the ones you liked best, turned around in horror and left without a second glance.

Wether he was oblivious or just didn't care, Beel wasted no time in running towards you with a smile on his face.

"Did you see me?" he asked, looking up to you with a boyish grin and brightened eyes.

"I'm always looking at you"

Beel blushed, his smile still obvious in his face, but he couldn't get another word in before the girl talked again.

"I was looking at you too"

You rolled your eyes and Beel immediately stared at you with a curious glance. He hummed in response, ignoring her once again as he reached out for your hand to caress your knuckles.

"There's a new limited edition menu in a restaurant near RAD"

No questions added nor needed. You smiled at him and nodded, bringing his hand to your lips to kiss it. A promise for later.

"Noo, we used to go there so much..."

"Can you stop?" Beel interrupted her with a deadpan expression "You're making MC uncomfortable"

The girl looked at him in surprise, mouth wide open, clearly not expecting to be snapped at.

She didn't dare to look at you after that.

Belphie

It wasn't the first time you dreamt about this girl and it wasn't the first time you dreamt about her stealing your sloth of a boyfriend.

She wasn't some mystery girl, but rather Belphie's old seatmate, the one he had before you were kidnapped admitted in RAD. A quiet doe-eyed succubus that looked at him like he was the best thing that ever happened to both human and demon mankind.

She'd tried to sit next to him a couple of times with no avail, always getting rejected in your favor. Then, Belphie and you started dating and she stopped trying. You'd innocently thought she'd surrendered.

But not only did she search for him the very few times you guys weren't next to each other, she also ignored you completely when you were there.

Ignoring her back was easier said than done.

And this time, the oniric version of her wasn't just stealing your boyfriend. This time, he was willingly going to her, making your heart hurt so much it made you wake up with what felt like broken ribs.

It took you a couple of minutes to pull yourself together and not push Belphie away when he brought you back to his chest. The image of him kissing her while looking at you was engraved in your mind.

So, although sweating and hurting both from your heart and your confidence, you forced yourself to sleep.

You didn't notice just how awake Belphie was.

Back when you were still friends, you had allowed him to introduce himself into your slumber each time you had a nightmare. Images of you dying under the jaws and claws of faceless demons disappeared faster when the real Belphie was there. Ironic, isn't it?

He tried to stop every single one of them, but sometimes he was so deep in his own dreams it was proved to be impossible.

You thought this was one of those occasions, but, alas, you were wrong.

Days passed without any new event and Belphie mentioned nothing about your initial irrational coldness towards him, which made you feel a tiny bit better. Eventually you'd get so embarrassed about the situation that you had no other option but to dote on him like the brat he was, leading to a whole weekend sprawled over his bed in the attic.

The girl was still there, although not as persistent with Belphie, and she avoided you like the plague, with fright in her eyes.

So he did something about her, didn't he? But how did he know? And what did he do? You wanted to ask, curious as ever, but as time went by and the eyebags under her eyes started to occupy her entire face, you decided against it.

Barely a month later she disappeared without leaving trace. And since Belphie didn't even acknowledge her at all, why would you?

Tagging a little more: @hello-gloomy @the-sassiest-toaster @hero-nii-blog @yourlocalyin @elaemae

[lyramundana]

No feelings involved...right?

Prologue and Part 1

Warnings❗: Implied baby trapping, dubious consent. It all happens at the end.

If their current predicament could be resumed in one sentence, it'll sound like a mother's voice saying "I told you so".

They didn't plan it. It all started with a small mishap, a consequence of their exhaustion and the amount of issues going on in their personal lives. Then the mishap repeated itself, and then they decided to turn it into a game for their own pleasure, no strings attached to her. Then the game grew beyond their control and became a mountain of lies, too big to seize them.

Jisung first met her through a friend of his, and although he found her beautiful then, she didn't catch his attention beyond that. They met frecuently, since they both ran in the same circle of friends, and after one night being left alone by their drunk friends, they spent the time talking and turned out they had more in common that he thought. They clicked, in a way it's hard to explain, but just felt like he knew her since forever. They went from mere acquaintances to suddenly having her name appear at the top of his contact list along with Minho's.

Minho met her through his boyfriend, of course. He first saw her when Jisung brought her home to hang out, without even warning him about it. Their introduction was pretty formal, quick. They shook hands, made some small talk and Jisung inmediatly stole her attention again. Minho wasn't interested in befriending her and viceversa, but Jisung was their common point and she eventually became a regular presence in their apartment, so they really had no option but get along. Forced proximity and all.

Jisung has always known a lot of people, plenty of familiar faces that tend to flock towards him wherever he goes, but few of them can say they truly know him. Jisung cracks jokes, plays long with them, but rarely speaks about himself. He keeps a careful, calculated distance, because he knows that despite all those smiles and compliments, they only see the surface, what they want to see, and don't care about the rest. Which it's okay, it comes with the job, and this facade actually helps to keep undesirable people away without being rude. But she...she's different. From the moment she spoke to him and he listened, he found there was more to her than what she showed. Like him, she never allowed people to see beyond the surface, simply letting them believe the version they liked to spare herself the headaches. She understood him. And for the first time in years, Jisung felt a genuine connection to someone besides Minho.

The funny thing is that they don't talk that much, outside those events where the whole group meets and they stick together to not get bored. And when they get to talk, it's mostly about stuff only they know and deep, phylosophical converstations where they discuss the meanings of life. Maybe, if he's in a certain mood, he complains about a recent argument with Minho and asks for advice, but that's not the norm with them. When he brings her home is to get drunk over petty drama and gossip, without the others. They just fall back in the comfortability of a quiet friendship where no small talks were needed and they could simply let go of their masks.

Things between Minho and her weren't ideal at first. The few times they interacted was when she was at their flat, usually drunk and leaving a mess, and he got mad at it. He could look past it when it was Jisung, but having a stranger doing it was something else. He made sure of letting her know after the drunk haze, barely holding back the bite in his words. He expected her to get offended or feel embarrassed, but no. She never showed an ounce of shame, instead replying him with the same snarky tones, and sometimes that small lopsided grin of hers that made his blood boil. But what started as mostly petty arguments and cold greetings turned into a sense of complicity when they realized their humour was similar and they both acted like Jisung's babysitters more often than not.

Minho is used to be misunderstood. His resting bitch face, his brutal honesty, his reserved demeanour and that perpetual indifference in his face that rarely expressed emotions. People were quick to form opinions about him and not all were good. He was considered cold, arrogant, a snob that didn't like to mingle with those he saw "beneath him", you get it. Most wondered how someone so sweet and cheerful as Jisung could fall for him. It's okay for Minho, he doesn't see the point in caring for what strangers may think. The people he loves know him for who he is and that's enough. Then she came, all carefree and playful and open-minded. Jisung only spoke good things about her, but Minho knew his boy could be biased. Until they started talking and he found out she was truly different. She wasn't intimidated by him, even though he pulled the worst of him sometimes with her around, but she never reacted on it. She was quick to stand up against him, all prideful and confident. And her lack of respect felt like a wheeze of fresh air. After being constantly misjudged, it felt nice to have someone apart from Jisung that made an effort to see through his facade.

Before they noticed it, she became a constant in their lives. Even if they didn't meet often, even if the phone calls sometimes got short, she was present and they felt it. Whenever they needed a favour, she was the safest option. When something juicy happened, she was the first person they called. Even when their fights got brutal and they had no one to seek advice from, her door appeared in front of their eyes.

She never turned down, although her complaints were very much heard. She acted as a bridge between them both when they refused to take the initiative, pushing them to apologise and communicate their problems and feelings. Minho was stubborn, but Jisung could easily win him at times, and persuade them to move past it was a pain. Nevertheless, she did it every single time, to the point the walls of her house and the natural scent that filled it became so familiar to them.

They genuinely don't know when things started to change. They talked it before and both agreed she was beautiful, easy to the eyes, but nothing more. Sure, she was a vital part of their lives now but that's all they wanted her to be. At least that's what they told themselves until that night behind that club, when they tasted her for the first time and found the missing piece they had been bothering them for so long. That annoying empty space in their sex life that have appeared coincidentally shortly after meeting her..

Of course, things couldn't be the same after that mindblowing experience, not like they wanted it to either. They planned the whole affair while she slept in their arms, dead to the world. It was easy to convince her, with her body still vibrating by the last events and her mind still waking up. Granted that wasn't exactly correct from their parts, but they were slightly desperate and the idea of letting her go after that sounded awfully wrong.

And so that was the start of their downfall.

Looking back, they asked for it. At first it was all very natural. They were still friends but now they also fucked sometimes. She was open to every kink and preference of theirs, and she also introduced them to her own tastes. No commitment, no explanations expected or needed. But when their encounters became more often it got harder to stay away from her, they had her sign an NDA to continue. Which was..okay, not something they accounted for but it wasn't necessarily a problem.

No, the problems started when their feelings began to get in the way of the commitment-free arrangement they wanted.

Their doll was a gorgeous creature, a delightful sight for sore eyes, and they knew it. She was like this when they met her and they had no problem with it, Jisung even admired it and made jokes about it, about how ridiculous easy those idiots fell for her charms, scrambling on their feet to get an ounce of her attention. But at some point, seeing such scenes evoked less amusement and more disgust. And following disgust, there was something else. Something twisted and painful and deadly that climbed to their throats when another worthless scum tried his luck with her. Minho could heard this tempting voice in his head telling him to rip their guts out and Jisung imagined a number of creative scenarios where he taught that bastard a lesson.

Sometimes, those voices told them to grab their precious doll and drag her away from those dirty hands, keep her near where they couldn't lose her, which was weird because she meant nothing to them. Just a close acquaintance they casually fucked from time to time very often. And yet...

These sudden, strange emotions were translated in their bed.

The sex with her was always rough and fast, and the only aftercare that ocurred was sharing a smoke in bed over some small talk. But suddenly, it wasn't enough. Their usual routine felt short, uncomplete, unsatisfying. The mouths started to trace her face, her body, the marks they left on her. Their movements turned slower, more gentle, more precise. They wanted to see how it was when she burst in pleasure, when she gave herself up entirely in their arms. They kissed, caressed, worshipped the entirety of her skin, and they whispered words of praise in her ears for the duration of it. And when it was done, they needed wanted her close, lulling her into sleep as their arms trapped her against them.

"You're doing so, so well, doll. Can you give us one more, please? You look lovely like this."

"Look at you, already crying and shaking. Shh, it's okay, love, we got you. Leave it to us, okay'"

But when they couldn't stand that twisted feeling in their guts, after seeing some other clown trying to steal her away, both men turned animalistic on her. They were all confused at this change, and the two of them couldn't explain where did it came from. They just felt the urgent need to cover her in bites, scratches and hickeys, in every place where those undeserving eyes feasted upon. ¿How dare those assholes? ¿Didn't they know she was with them? ¿Had they no shame? ¿Did they really think they stood a chance?

"That's it, keep looking at us, slut. That's where your eyes should always be. ¿What the fuck were you thinking, uh?"

"¿You wanted him to fuck you too? Is that it? You greedy whore. Clearly we need to fuck you more. We'll make sure you can't even talk or walk without our help."

And it didn't end just there. They started to bring her to their dates, inviting her everywhere they went, giving her their clothes. They had love-hate feelings towards her revealing dresses, because as much as they enjoyed the view, they hated seeing others do the same. She became part of their routine, outside the sex part. She was always there. And as time passed, it felt like she had been there since the beginning. They hardly remembered how things were before she came.

But they kept lying to themselves, lying to everyone. This wasn't anything. They could stop whenever they wanted to. There no other feelings involved. Of course not.

And things finally went downhill when someone asked them:

"So, that girl that's always with you two, what's the deal with her? Is there something serious going on? Because you have to introduce her to us, then."

That question struck them. Brutally.

They never thought too much about it. Things with her just...happened naturally, and they barely noticed it. They simply followed their instincts at the time, not realizing the weight those actions could hold. ¿What was the deal with her, truly? Granted, she was more than just a quick fuck, but still. And what was up with them? Why the fuck did they want to meet her? She was perfectly fine where she was.

At the end of the day, the three of them moved in different worlds. There were things about themselves they couldn't tell her, things she would never understand. Maybe that was better, they thought. To keep her away from that circus of drama and lies and dirty secrets they were part of. She didn't belong there. And to keep her far away from idiots butting their noses where they shouldn't.

So they quickly defused the situation. She was just an acquaintance, they didn't really know her, yeah. They already had each other, it had always been just each other. She meant nothing.

If she did, where did that leave them?

¿Were they supposed to know someone was going to post their answer on social media? Were they supposed to know she would see it and demand explanations too?

Yes

They never saw her so angry, so emotional. She was bursting in anger and sadness and dissapointment, and they could both feel how their hearts stopped at the sight. It didn't feel right.

When she started to speak, they sort of panicked. They couldn't control the situation this time, they couldn't control her, and they didn't have proper answers for it. At least, not the kind of answers that would help them.

Most of all, they were confused. As she confronted them with facts, about how their strange behaviour with her and their motivations, they were forced to acknowledge the reality of everything.

That she meant more than they thought. Way more than they wanted her to. It was a liability. A problem. An unexpected turn of events they weren't prepared for.

And because they weren't prepared, they simply said the words that sounded logical at the moment. Cold statements of what they all knew, of what they agreed on the beginning. They didn't truly mean it, as they would realize later, but they felt cornered. And at the moment, the only strenght they could rely on was their pride.

They foolishly thought she would stay after that. That she would see their point of view and calm down.

As expected, she didn't. When it fell on them the terrible error they made, it was late. She left the place. Emptied it of whatever part of her and blocked them from her life.

And as expected, the aftermath was fucking disastrous.

Being deprived so suddenly from her presence after getting used to have her near everyday was hellish. No more calls, no more dates, no more lazy afternoons in the couch. She was gone, leaving a gaping hole in their lives that they couldn't fill, no matter how much they tried. And god knows they did.

No vice or person could replace the feelings she invoked in them.

They turned down invitations, calls of friends, choosing to stay at home and just hang out by themselves. Staying at home too long drove them insane, but going out wasn't much better. She was everywhere. In the streets, in the shops, in the people. It was a nightmare.

When a close friend of theirs invited them to the opening of club, they only accepted in hopes for a distraction, and to keep appareances a bit. But the cold, boring night inmediately acquired a brilliant colour when they saw her.

More beautiful than ever, with her pretty dress and carefully done make-up. Her damned smile brightened the whole club and, for a moment, they felt in peace. Like nothing changed.

Until they saw she wasn't alone. Her warm arms, who used to be held by them, were now occupied by other men. Some they didn't know. A pair of strangers taking their rightful places, and she just laughed and danced with them like it was normal.

They spent the whole night like that, watching her and brooding, with that familiar green boiling in their stomach. She looked gorgeous, out of this world, and it wasn't fucking fair. That should be them. She should have been with them, filling their ears with her cute laugh and letting them wrap their arms over her.

Deep down, they knew they fucked up. It was solely their fault. They had their chance to make her stay, to trap her, and they messed up. ¿Why did things have to be this way? Why did they have to realize the size of their mistake in a moment of jealousy? It was stupid.

When they saw her walking outside alone, they exchanged a glance and they knew it.

They made several mistakes, but they learnt from them. Having her hating them was better than not having her at all, so they followed.

It was so easy to fall back into routine. She was already weakened by their presence, and it was the same for them too. Some yelling here and there, insults being thrown back and forth, a bit of fighting, but they ended up right where they wanted: Locked bathroom, against a wall, and the music covering their moans.

They didn't stop until she was bursting with their cum, pushing it right back inside where a drop ran down her legs. Until there wasn't a single trace of skin unmarked. Until she couldn't fucking walk without their help.

And when few weeks later, she showed up in their apartment with three positive tests, they pretended to be shocked and made her move in with them.

They could already see the picture she would make. It was going to be perfect.

(i had this shit collecting dust in my drafts for a millenia and today i had a strange burst of inspiration to finish it. sorry for the waiting to those who asked for this part)

Taglist: @hanjisunglover @queenmea604 @linlinaert @bluducky @jinnie-ret @aalexyuuuhm @noellllslut @skzms @thightswideforhanin @aliensfoundthisblogl @k-krissten @stayconnecteed @hanjibug @roseykat

[try-set-me-on-fire]

How about odd socks for the soft prompts?

Eddie tries to write his vows. Poem excerpts from E.E. Cummings’ [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in], Mary Oliver’s The Mango, and Pablo Neruda’s Finale. Plain text version on AO3 here and under the read more!

Dear Buck oh its not a letter

Buck

Evan Buckley (?)

From the day we met, I

I take thee to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part except I don’t want to stop loving you when either of us die. I don’t want to part. Till the glaciers have melted and the oceans have dried up, till Mount Whitney (the tallest mountain in California, I looked it up) is eroded to a molehill, till the heat death of the universe do us part. Maybe that will be enough time

I keep thinking about that time you wore those fucking socks to work and Bobby and everyone were trying to really gently asses if you were having a breakdown because we just see AND YOU’RE GOING TO DIE on your ankle and then you laughed and pulled up your pants and it said “GET LOST IN NATURE AND YOU’RE GOING TO DIE” which like I still think is kind of a fucked up thing to put on a sock but you just did one of your beautiful sunshine grins (we weren’t even together but god I still got light headed looking at you) and were like “I thought it would be neat to remind people the importance of safety in nature” and I was kind of teasing and annoyed and laughed about it and that was like three years ago Buck and I still feel guilty about it because if you were going through some kind of crisis I don’t ever want to be annoyed and laugh about it, I want to be there for you no matter what and I hope I’ve proven that to you over the years, that I don’t just love you on easy days, I love you every single day all the time even when everything’s fucked even if I can’t write wedding vows to save my life christ this is terrible

I love your nose and your birthmark and your eyebrows and your hair and your shoulders and the bends of your elbows, and your wrists and hands, and I love your nipples and hip bones and cock and ass and knees and your shin, I love the scars on your shin, I love every scar you have because none of them killed you

How about

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Or

But this was a rich house, and clever too.

After salmon and salads,

mangoes for everyone appeared on blue plates,

each one cut in half and scored

and shoved forward from its rind, like an orange flower,

cubist and juicy.

When I began to eat

things happened.

Or

your head on the pillow,

your hands floating

in the light, in my light,

over my earth.

It was beautiful to live

when you lived

The world is bluer and of the earth

at night, when I sleep

enormous, within your small hands.

Before the ceremony I told Shannon “It’s going to be okay” and in the moment I believed it because I had her and I was scared but she was my best friend and up there in front of her parents and mine I said the regular vows but I think that first one was what counted even if it didn’t end up being true. Maybe I’ve been telling you my vows for years. You can have my back any day. There’s no one on earth I trust with my son - with our son - more than you. Every time I tell you I love you, isn’t that a promise?

I’ve been happy before in my life, despite everything I don’t think I was an unhappy man, not always, only sometimes, but you make me happier than I thought was possible. That kind of feeling when you laugh too hard and you’re not getting enough oxygen to your brain. Isn’t that romantic, you give me hypoxia

Here’s the thing you know I’m going to get up there and just start crying immediately so I don’t know why I’m trying so hard to find words I won’t even be able to get out

No hi this is me two hours later of course this is important you’re important you knowing how much I love you is so important to me and I will stand up there blubbering at you for hours if that’s what it takes

I trust you. I love you. I am happy with you. I want to wake up beside you always, Buck I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you next to me first thing in the morning (or night or afternoon or whenever we’ve finished sleeping), touching your warm body with your lungs breathing and your heart beating and the solidity of you feels like a miracle

I’ll buy you socks so your feet don’t get cold and I’ll bring you fruit because you like to eat sweet things and wherever I live will be your home and I’ll be by your side as long as you do me the honor of wanting me there and everything I have and am is yours and I

[tgmsunmontue]

Saga of Solitude 15/21

Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. IceMav AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version). (Side Hangster, which is ALSO angsty).

PROLOGUE (He remembers)

HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights - set 2009)

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN – 2014

                Tom has it narrowed down to three candidates. He’s been chipping away at figuring it out, not making it a top priority, but definitely something he keeps circling back to. The man who he wants to keep a closer eye on, even if it’s been five years he suspects that Bradley hasn’t exactly forgotten him. He had tried gentle probing questions, only to have them deftly avoided. Clever of him, and Tom knows he’s no doubt had practice from when he was younger and serving under DADT as well as protecting Tom and Pete’s own relationship.

                However Bradley hasn’t even told Natasha, because he’d also carefully asked her and she’d simply blinked at him in surprise before shaking her head, saying she didn’t know anything, but that if Bradley had slept with anyone he’d been very discreet, because she heard gossip, and there hasn’t been any about Bradley. Well. Other than him apparently being secretly married to her. Tom doesn’t know why he should even care so much, other than Bradley is his son and he wants to protect him as much as possible, despite the fact that Bradley is now over thirty and more than capable of looking after himself. He has his own house, not that he stays there very often, preferring to be in the center of things and being here in the family home with Tamsin and Petra.

                Except Tamsin and Petra are growing up too, Tamsin in her last semester of high school. She’s been accepted into California-Irvine and he’s so proud but he is also not prepared at all for her to move away. He’s glad she’s decided to stay within state at least, and he knows Bradley likely helped sway her in that decision. Which is why he wants to find some way to ensure Bradley is never held back in anyway. So he’ll keep trying to work out exactly who it is that he still so hooked up on.

…            …            …

                “She’s going to prom,” Pete says again, and he knows he’s maybe belaboring the point, but also he can’t believe that Tamsin is in her last year of high school, is so capable and accomplished and intelligent. Hell, she runs circles around him on the regular and yet he can’t fathom how the little baby girl he held in his arms over seventeen years ago is now taller than him. A fact everyone seems to great joy in pointing out to him, however he can still pick her up and carry her. Her boyfriend hasn’t stopped trying to impress them, and Pete can’t say he likes the young man, and he has tried, thank you very much Bradley.

                “Wish I could have gone to prom with you…” Ice says, stepping in close and wrapping his arms around Pete’s waist. He leans into him, never feels safer than when he’s like this.

                “Yeah? You want to dance with me?”

                “Always…”

                “We pretending we’re at prom?” Pete asks with a grin and Ice smiles, the soft-gentle half smile he uses when he’s feeling particularly sentimental. He feels Ice’s arms tighten around him and there isn’t any music, but then Ice starts humming quietly and his own smile grows wider and he presses a kiss into the side of Ice’s neck. “God I love you…”

                “Love you too. So much Pete… Did you ever think we’d get to have this life?”

                Pete startles a little, surprised at the question.

                “Of course…”

                “Seriously?”

                “You didn’t?”

                “Not in my wildest dreams. Every day I am grateful I get to have… all of this. You. Bradley, The girls. Sarah and Melissa. Hell, even Aubrey is a blessing.”

                “We are very lucky. Want to get luckier?”

                “This was a nice moment…”

                “It’ll be even nicer soon. Let me take you to bed?”

                “Yeah. Please.”

                “Mmm. Begging already. I like it.”

                “Begging you to stop talking. You used to be a man of action, not words…”

                “Pfft. I’ll show you action…”

                “In a bed Mav, come on.”

                They undress with no haste, helping each other, trading kisses and running hands over bare skin as it’s revealed, Ice’s touch on him causing repeated full-body tingles, they always have. He hopes his own touch has the same effect, thinks it does with the way Ice shivers and presses against him, murmurs his name quietly under his breath and kisses at the soft skin just behind his ear. He presses a gentle kiss over the newly healed port scar from Ice’s cancer treatments, suddenly overwhelmed that he too is grateful that he gets to have all this. He’d have been content with just Ice to call his own, but to have his odd little family, to have a son and two daughters who are all turning into these amazing individuals.

                “Pete…” Ice says, voice deep and raspy, the way it gets when he’s just woken up or when he’s getting really turned on. Then there are warm dry fingers wrapping around his cock and he follows Ice down onto the bed, lets his hands find purchase on Ice’s hips as he rocks against him. It’s warm and comforting, and despite wanting everything else to go fast in his life, this, with Ice right now, is something he’s happy to draw out. Knowing they don’t have to rush, not the hard-fast-desperate times that they had in the beginning, terrified of being caught.

                He’s married to this man, it’s on his record and they live together, always come home to the same place. He realizes he didn’t think he’d get to have this, but he had always hoped and dreamed he would. That despite everything he’s damned lucky and he shouldn’t take what they have for granted.

                “You want to fuck me?” Pete asks, straddling Ice’s thighs and grinding his erection in a rocking motion against Ice’s.

                “Yes.”

                He grins then, knows his face is probably scrunched up in happiness but he doesn’t care. They don’t do this very often, it’s more effort than either of them are usually wanting to put in, but sometimes it’s exactly what they both want. He leans back, rolls off the bed and pulls open the bedside table drawer for lube; hears Ice shuffle off to grab towels. He follows, uses the glass on the sink to have two large glasses of water.

                “You planning on working up a sweat?”

                “Yeah… you better be able to keep up.”

                Ice snorts at that, but follows his example and throws back a glass of water, but his eyes stay on him, the light grey-blue shaded darker with arousal and Pete’s cock jerks in anticipation. Ice, being the smug bastard he is, and because he knows him so well smirks, lets one of his hands come to rest on Pete’s flank, fingers digging and rubbing and pulling him close so they can rub together. He’s being moved, Ice using his height and breadth to encourage him back to the bedroom, like he somehow needs convincing.

                “Hi…”

                “Hi. Can we…”

                “Always trying to rush…”

                “Not this. Not with you.”

                “I know.”

                Then he’s on his back, Ice dragging him so his hips are raised on a couple of pillows, which are covered with one of the towels. Ice kisses him, then there’s the slick slide of fingers between his ass cheeks and he reaches blindly for him, needs to touch him so he can feel grounded, know that Ice is there with him. It’s not fast, Ice always takes his time, makes sure now that he’s not going to cause any pain or even discomfit. Pete has learnt that he’s allowed to just lie back and enjoy. The whole preparation aspect is something Ice takes pleasure in, the building anticipation and knowledge he has time, permitted to touch Pete and make him feel good. He does that now, their years together making him an expert in Pete’s body.

                Pete doesn’t often have the patience for this; time shifts and passes in a liquid state, seconds measured in kisses against his skin, minutes in the growing and easing pressure of fingers stretching him. He’s hard and leaking, feels like Ice has been driving him around the edge of a whirlpool for hours and he’s just waiting for them to get sucked down together. He feels Ice’s cock push into him and he lets out a groan, cants his hips to make the press deeper and let’s Ice manhandle him so his legs are around his waist.

                “Ice…”

                “Yeah. I got you Mav…”

…            …            …

                He’s home five weeks early, and they’re managing to pull it off, and god, if he makes her cry and her mascara runs she’s going to kill him. But it’s her prom night and while they’d planned on him arriving during a school assembly to surprise her, they’ve modified it because she’s going to prom alone because her boyfriend is an asshole.

                So.

                Bradley is going to turn up in his dress whites, sweep her off her feet and he’s going to consider himself lucky if Tamsin doesn’t punch him. She’s standing with a group of her friends, nearly all of whom he recognizes, Ice and Mav are failing at hiding behind a pillar, Petra with them and looking bored. A lot of sets of eyes are on him and he can see someone making a signal for the music to be turned down, and that has Tamsin and her group look around and he steps forward, hand out stretched.

                “Can I have this dance?”

                “Bradley!”

                Then he’s being hugged tightly, she looks so grown up and he’s reminded again that parents do this all the time; that he works with some who leave their young kids for months at a time and he’s simply an older brother. He steps back to take in her dress and hair, is pretty sure Mav and Tom probably had collective heart attacks given the split up the side.

                “You look amazing.”

                “I know!” she laughs. “It took hours. I cannot believe that some people do this every day before they leave their homes…”

                There’s applause and he’s got the usual thanks for your service and he nods and smiles his way through it all, because he’s in the service to fly planes because he can’t imagine doing anything else, and if it has the added bonus of serving his country then that’s okay. But he knows what came first for him.

                He dances with Tamsin, can actually dance the more formal and traditional dances but steps away when she starts throwing her hands up to a song he doesn’t recognize. So this is what old age begins to feel like. Ice and Mav have left, and some of Tamsin’s teachers come and introduce themselves, and he finds it a little alarming that one of them is in fact younger than him, the others only a few years older and he hopes his freak out about being his age isn’t showing on his face.

                “You’re actually in the Navy huh?” a man asks, and he thinks this is Tamsin’s English teacher.

                “Yes. These are my actual dress whites. Thought I’d try and make tonight better after her boyfriend decided to dump her.”

                “Ah yes, he’s a bit of a social pariah now. Tamsin is well liked.”

                “Good. She’s awesome.”

                “The words of a completely unbiased bystander, I’m sure,” the guy says with a gentle teasing smile and Bradley turns slightly, thinks he’s being flirted with.

                “Protective and proud older brother instincts aren’t ever going to go away. I’ll be in a rocking chair and I’ll still think she’s awesome.”

                The glint of something intensifies and Bradley raises an eyebrow, licks his lips and doesn’t miss the other man’s eyes flick down to the movement.

                He is never telling Tamsin that he got a blowjob from her English teacher, however he also doesn’t feel like he’s so ancient after all, so he’ll definitely count it as a win.

…            …            …

                Tom isn’t an idiot. When Petra turns sixteen he very politely recuses himself from even being an option to teach her how to drive. He did it with Bradley and Tamsin. Petra is another thing entirely, and he knows Pete has already let her drive his motorbikes up and down the airstrip at the hangar, has no doubt that she’s already done the same with a car. He can only hope that Pete doesn’t make any exceptions around safety. He doesn’t expect he will, he never has with Bradley or Tamsin. It’s only his own body he’s a little reckless with. They both come back super excited, fizzing with more energy than he knows what to with and later when they’re curled up in bed Pete admits he knows what he’s going to get Petra for Christmas. Laps at the nearest racecourse.

                Tom sighs.

…            …            …

                “Hey Bradley?”

                “Yeah Pet?”

                “If you try and pull that prom bullshit on me I will castrate you and make you wish you’d never been born. Got it?”

                Bradley snorts.

                “Yeah. Got it. Is that a no surprises ever, or just big public ones where you might cry?”

                “No public ones. Nice surprises are fine.”

                “Okay. Well I’ll try and keep the big public displays saved up for Tamsin.”

                “Yeah. That sounds good.”

…            …            …

                “I have to look over these promotion recommendations before sending them on to the SECNAV. We’ve got a young aviator who chalked up an air-to-air kill, so he’s being recommended for accelerated promotion to Lieutenant… A Jake Seresin.”

                Tom recognizes the name immediately. Jake Seresin. He remembers having dinner with him, he’d been polite and engaging, flown in a way that made him itch to be in the sky again. He’s also on the very short list of men that are potentially Bradley’s ill-advised hookup that he is adamant about leaving the fuck alone. Tom isn’t so sure, but also he’s got a feeling in his gut that this is him. That Jake Seresin is the young man that Bradley hooked up with. Which makes him worth his attention, but it doesn’t stop him from halting the other man’s career trajectory. He signs the paperwork giving his recommendation for promotion and asks for an invitation to the ceremony.

…            …            …

                “Jake.”

                “Lieutenant Bradshaw.”

                Bradley bites back his immediate retort, because he guesses he deserves that.

                “Congratulations on the promotion.”

                “I’m sorry, are you talking to me now?”

                “Well, we’re currently the same rank so I can’t have the fraternization rules thrown at me as a warning. So yeah, I guess I’m talking to you…” Bradley starts, even knowing that the previous difference in their ranks is a weak excuse for his previous behavior.

                “Yeah well, I’m not listening. Catch you around Bradshaw.”

                Fuck.

                So much for trying to apologize.

[serenityfails]

part two of my DATV thoughts, now that i've finished the game. i think i'm gonna focus on my feelings about specific character arcs in this one.

VARRIC: i touched on this in my previous post but varric isn't really a character in this game, it's just rook and solas's shared projection/idea of who varric was. which i do think is actually an interesting concept. i just think it's noticeable, once you learn that fact, that everyone just moves on instantly. i don't need the game to indulge me with hours of clothes-rending mourning, i just don't believe his death would go totally un-remarked upon.

HARDING: i need a lot more selling on the idea that she cares really deeply about her dwarven heritage. it's possible i missed some important banters or something on this subject from her, but as it stands i didn't feel, based on who she was before, that it really mattered to her that much. she's a surface dwarf, born and raised-- she certainly had some thoughts about that in the descent DLC, but the vibe i got was "yeah those guys don't associate with the likes of me, but fuck 'em, I'm Fereldan", not "gee i wish i could reconnect to The Stone". even just some tidbits about her family. she brings up her mother all the time-- something about her mother feeling a sense of loss there, or something emotional to link her thematically to the titans.

lacking that connection, it felt even more glaring that they straight up PUT VALTA IN THE GAME, because that's HER story, not harding's. it just doesn't line up for me personally.

i like the idea of anger vs joy in concept, and i liked the idea that harding actually had a lot of animosity towards solas that she felt ashamed of. but i think that animosity should have started from a more personal place (maybe what happened with corypheus and the inquisition, then varric) and blossomed from there into the wider question of the titans. if that was the intention, i didn't really see that in the final version.

BELLARA: She's Fine.jpeg. i think it would have been good to get a clearer idea of who/what Anaris is, because i did feel like that aspect of her story was underbaked and her brother's death was foreshadowed so hard it was basically haus of decline's "i think we're gonna have to kill this guy, steven" comic, but that was an issue i had with multiple character plotlines. i like her and Neve's relationship and i will be sexualizing it. thank you.

NEVE: i can't really take her Dark Knight bit seriously but that's okay. (she's Crime Boss Batman in my game now, and her boyfriend is the leader of the Crows, so good for her.) I like how she plays off the other characters more than I think I like her in isolation. i also feel like i was missing some of her backstory, but maybe you get more if you romance her?

LUCANIS: i want him to be a bigger mess. he's too well-adjusted. i say this having hardened him in my game... i was cut off from romancing him but i still feel like he was taking everything too well and being too reasonable about everything. i want a bitch with messy hair and yellow teeth scrabbling around like a fucking goblin okay he's been imprisoned under the ocean for a YEAR and he's POSSESSED make him get FREAKY WITH IT. he lives in a pantry but he always looks like he just stepped off a magazine cover. i can't jerk off to this

DAVRIN: they could not possibly have told you any more clearly how precisely his entire plotline will play out from mission one, so it was boring in that respect, but i enjoyed all the Wardeny lore of his questline so i'm okay with it. I also called the monster being Isseya so i get a gold star for being a big fucking nerd. His romance has moments of juice and then peters out a lot at the end, which is tragic. I actually enjoy his perspective as a Dalish elf that felt confined by that life and left it on purpose, but I think we don't get enough of a sense of the Regular Old Dalish vs. the weirdasses in the Veil Jumpers to feel the weight of that choice.

EMMRICH: i love this bitch he's so fruity and fun. it's deeply cute that he's genuinely shocked and hurt people find necromancy creepy and weird. i razzed him about it once and he got so genuinely sad about it i was like omg... baby.... i'm so sorry peepaw!!! Hezenkoss is the best villain in the game because she's just like what fucking ever no relatable motivation no grey morality it's mad science time!!!!!!!! my friend said she "made a bone Jaeger out of rich people" and you know what. she was right to do that. #womeninSTEM #supportwomenswrongs

i let manfred die. in the moment, i was actually just super mad at the game for so blatantly foreshadowing WE ARE GOING TO KILL THE CUTE LITTLE SKELLINGTON that i was like fuck you, the skeleton dies. i felt bad about it after. but also emmrich becoming a lich was REALLY funny so i don't feel THAT bad.

TAASH: there is a good character in there underneath the corporate mandated HR meeting. another point where the script needs less handholding, more time to breathe, and more in depth exploration of the qun's take on gender, which in the past games i have found genuinely compelling, and gender in thedas in general (which the games already have a patchy track record on).

i was also mad at the game for so clearly flagging their mom's death, and it seemed so reversible because like... hi we have a party full of mages with healing magic what exactly is the issue here, BUT WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRR. (mommy, why didn't aerith use a phoenix down?)

i also have to apologize to Taash for completely ruining their life and making it hard to connect to anyone ever again by killing off Harding. i think it's crazy Harding got to spend her last months on the planet getting the daylights fucked out of her by someone who is at a rough estimate ten years her junior and twice her size, though, good for her.

post is already too long. i will post about my feelings on Solas, Lavellan, and Mythal some other time.

[chunktism]

Cometcare AU/frosty angst ramblings :3

ok kind of an au? basically ive been thinking about what cometcare will be like if any of the parents doesn't survive. the first one ive been thinking about is if just doom dies and of course i had to make this about frosty

^ first drawing i did based on this concept. maybe ill do an alternate version based on what if polly dies and doom doesnt another time

in this universe wendy (who doesnt go by his nickname anymore) is the youngest and doesnt have anyone relying on them, so she doesn't feel the need to act as positive and happy as in cometcare. basically they are just very numb and tired similar to canon polly.. his siblings constantly arguing with eachother doesn't help!!

personally my interpretation of regular frosty and unis dynamic is a little different than canon. i find it kind of hard to believe uni is badly coping and lying to herself about pups trauma without having some kind of unhealthy ideas about stuff. on her toyhouse it says he's trying to get frosty to see that "he has their own special kind of magic, caring about things and other people" when he's also very clearly stated to struggle with apathy, which makes me think unis advice is often less than helpful and wendy finds it pretty useless and annoying.

as for polly i think the resentment he usually feels towards it is a lot less subtle. barry hasn't come close to being helpful either.

i think sly and wendy could be closer in this au.. fen would try to help them even if she has no idea how. to him it feels a lot more genuine than when their parents try to talk to her and he appreciates fen a lot. ik sly isnt out to anyone but i like to think here wendy would be one of the first people she would come out to.. the sisters ever

ally and frosty have literally no canon dynamic (kit apparently caught them when his wings first froze up and i believe thats their only interaction) but i think they were close when they were little kids. ally feels terrible about wendy being so depressed and numb now but she doesnt know how to help.

i couldnt not mention plants!! wendy usually doesnt have the energy for baking anymore but she still takes care of plants. despite usually not being talkative they will ramble for ages about them if given the chance !!

also since while drawing these i joked about this being emo wendy .

assuming carrie is still around here and eve doesn't exist norma would probably hang out with wendy sometimes instead! theyre so cool. theyre awesome

[sadhornydemons]

Rapid-Spoiler-Season-Speculation: Apology Tour/Ghostf*ckers

Caution: some references are made to other spoilers, so proceed with caution if you wish to avoid.

Apology Tour:

Alright, I'll admit, this episode I think I understand the least, so I'm sure I'm completely off the mark in even attempting to make sense of it.

Cake will be served, and it's clown Blitz version. Heart on an item in the back, heart on the knife. How many years has it been and she's still obsessed?

WHATEVER this is, Blitz didn't just stumble into it, I wonder if some type of invitation got him there.

Blood/red stained sheet for unknown reasons.

I think I'm the only one who preferred the earlier design, but guess I just have a type.

WHAT. DA. FUCK.

Yeah, of course, this is when my imagination starts churning.

Did Stolas reach just the perfect amount of drunk before his Spotify breakup playlist reached Olivia Rodrigo, causing him to throw on last year's Halloween costume and portal himself to his ex so he could express himself properly?

No, Stolas had an entire stage prop production prepared. That or we haven't seen the full extent of his magic conjuring abilities.

(same outfit, I'm keeping my eye on the spiked collar 'cause it's new to his wardrobe)

I don't know what could bring this on. At first, I thought it was a dream sequence, but the spiked collar turns up in a later scene. Maybe I just haven't accepted that my fav character could be an asshole?

Screenshots of Blitz, sheet is now a hoodie, we really don't know what he's looking at in this particular scene.

I don't think this is a full scale concert, though. Probably more of a private event. Maybe Verosika was planning a gathering of the 'We Hate Blitzo' fanclub, but Stolas was the only one to RSVP.

If it is, a public concert, I mean, I can just imagine the headlines:

Prince Stolas shocks audience members by appearing as the opening act in Verosika Mayday's concert, preforming his original ballad, 'Imp Dicks Aren't Worth the Heartbreak'.

And if it is a regular event, there's the possibly Blitz attended on purpose..to apologize about things? (hence the title) I don't know, it just all seems too weird.

As poster bleucaesura noted, Stolas is on his couch in this scene. The red stained sheet, presumably with Blitz under, stand before him. Stolas's collar is spiked, so this seems to happen after the musical number.

This is mainly all the info we have this episode, but looking ahead to future ones, I'm thinking this is gonna conclude the majority of the Stolitz angst. Or at least the current ones.

As many have noted, this season has been following a pattern of focusing on, and occasionally resolving Blitz's relationship problems. Unhappy Campers introduced Barbie properly, adding more details to the fire incident. Oops and Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special added to that by focusing on him and Fizz. Full Moon and Apology Tour seem to be based around Stolas and then both Stolas and Verosika, fitting since it's comparing people from his love life.

Hence, I believe the next episode will instead prioritize Blitz's relationship with M&M:

Ghostfuckers:

The IMP mobile is totaled and appears spray painted. Therefore, guessing this scene must take place first:

But what would cause "a life on the run", as Blitz puts it, unless he wasn't completely serious?

And I'm not sure if the hooded folks, "Come out, we've got your surrounded." scene was edited in before this or not.

There are those clouds in the background and it seems to call for a more scary scene, or at least until he checks his watch.

(actually those could all take place in previous episode or the ones to come, for all we know!)

Blitz wears a bad disguise rather than using an asmodean crystal. We could read too much into that because maybe Blitz just LIKES coming up with disguises, but in other spoilers, we see Blitz using a book for portals.

The enemy is doing bad things to the character's mental health, bringing about their worse fears. In reference to Blitz, I wonder if this is this is where those scenes come into play:

Interesting how it's edited like Blitz watching a filmstrip of his life, complete with a decorative frame.

Shown in a different style, I wonder if this flashback will also be used:

And, (if my earlier theory is wrong), this has to appear somewhere:

We see a flashback to a younger, longer hair Millie (not unlike her wedding photo):

(and it looks like outside a ship? Hey, maybe pirates really did have port windows!)

Which may be used to match up with this fight:

This, however, is hopefully, just another hallucination:

Okay, for the rest of this episode, one can't really speculate because the (looks both ways cautiously) storyboards leaked last year reveal a good chuck of the action and dialogue. So without getting TOO into that, for those who want to avoid getting too spoiled, I'll conclude this episode may turn out to be a fun, scary, but with admittedly triggering subjects, that showcase Blitzø's messy and occasionally obsessive relationship with Moxxie and Millie.

...and possibly new issues with Loona? Something is hinted out, but I might get into THAT speculation in the last two episodes.

[dojunie]

MESSENGER; HRJ [PT15: TWO-FACES]

➥PART 15 OF MESSENGER; a smau about a stranger, a whole lot of animal pics, and a relationship you would never have expected to come from texting a random number written on a public bathroom mirror.

wc: 1.1K

[PREVIOUS PART] [INFO/MASTERLIST] [NEXT PART]

a/n: double update omg

tl: @matchahyuck@theboyz-jacob @hoeshi17 @neoteez01 @hibernatinghamster @luvvsnae @shwizhies @skynightgalaxy @ihrtnyu @kunvibing @liliansun @txpxwxk @is4b3ll3s @rxnexxi @rum-gone-why @she-is-dreaming @chenfleur @haedgaff  @twogyuu @jeongintwt @wispystarss @chocorenchin @tinidell @defzcl @funkygoose @gyujunhans @simpforarmihn

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THE NEXT LOGICAL STEP WAS FOR YOU TO TEXT HIM, DONGHYUCK SAID.

Which meant the first thing Renjun did after closing Hyuck’s message thread was look into getting a second phone number.

He’d worried about that earlier, back during the impromptu study session when you’d appeared with your gifts— you’d pulled your phone out at the end of the hour and for one bone-chilling second, he thought you were about to ask him for contact information. It made sense; you might’ve wanted to schedule another day to study or something, but he’d frozen like you were about to leap across the table and devour him whole. As stupid as it was, it was only then that he realized he only had one number. And you already knew it. He couldn’t give it to you again, only for the contact to appear as the version of himself he was starting to detest a little more every day, Duckboy’s face popping up on your screen to ruin everything; but if you reached across the table to ask him to put it in, what else would he be able to do?

Thankfully all you’d been doing was checking a text, the same one that made you look up at the clock and curse before sliding all the books off the desk into the open maw of your book bag and darting off. All you left in lieu of a goodbye was a promise to catch up with him again soon and another thanks for the help.

Even as his heart palpitated from the near miss he smiled a little as you ran, and even managed a laugh when you had to twirl, ballerina style, to avoid crashing into an oblivious tittering couple wandering out of the cafe. He promised to figure out the number thing that very night, but of course got caught up with his Econ studies again and forgot.

But now with Donghyuck’s heads up, he couldn’t afford to forget again. 

It ended up being significantly easier than he thought. Maybe guilt made him think it would be a tedious process; having to meet someone at some seedy back alley tech shop somewhere, using cash to slip a brandless simcard into his pocket at midnight— but it only took a single Google to gain another unlimited texting plan under his contract within the minute. It appeared like a brand new string of digits right under his regular one— a shiny new number, quite literally, just for you.

And not a moment too soon. Because your promise to catch up with him again soon apparently meant the next day, where you appeared at his usual spot in the library again, brandishing your phone in his face like court summons.

“I’m not staying long,” you’d said, “I only just realized I should probably get your number if we’re going to do this studying thing again, right?”

And in just the way he’d memorized, he’d entered his new number with a smile. 

He’s not going to lie; at first, he’d felt pretty clever about it. Two phone numbers is a pretty good way to get around his unique, two-faced predicament. Another layer of safety in the stupid game of identity that’s become his life, another potential crisis avoided. But that night, as he laid in bed and prepared himself to reply to the usual textbook’s worth of texts from you, the relief from dodging detection turned into shame like everything else has been doing these days.

What he's doing isn't right. Despite his actions, trust and believe, Renjun is fully aware of that fact.

This had all stemmed from one innocent lie, hadn't it? One born out of honest desire to make things right again— as right as he could without actually telling you the truth, which may of spoke to his cowardice better than he really understood— the idiotic, in hindsight, decision to not immediately tell you who he was. He was worried you wouldn't like what you saw, that he couldn't live up to whatever version of him you seemed to like so much in your head. He was worried you'd think he was some sort of voyeur, showing up at your game without asking for something more nefarious than just wanting to see you.

He was scared something would go wrong if he told you the truth and lied to cover it up. Something small, something that would stay small if he stuck to the plan of leaving you alone.

But he couldn't leave you alone. And somewhere along the way that lie began to... grow. Donghyuck's library ambush, to helping you study that night, to telling you Duckboy moved back to China, to your thank you gifts: every interaction with you fed that lie, and as it grew bigger and bigger, it fabricated into something he couldn't recognize as... genuine, anymore.

Renjun was no longer coming from a place of pure intention. He was being selfish. A kid who craves the party and the cake, someone who swears they only want some but cries and whines for all of it when it so dangles tantalizingly close. Mystery Girl, the version of you in his phone, was the slice. Perfect on its own, the right amount to be full, just enough sugar to satiate; all he thought he needed.

But the you he'd met on the court that day had been the whole, gittering, gleaming, buttercream double-decker. He'd pushed you away on principal, knowing he'd been fine with the slice, that it wasn't fair for him to have it all, that he didn't deserve to have it all. It wasn't even his birthday. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve you.

But you didn't know it wasn't his birthday, and as you inched closer and closer, none the wiser to the truth, he got... greedy.

(Accepting your thanks in the library had been his hand reaching out, and offering to help you study had been his fingertip dragging through the icing, forever marring that barrier between before and after. And he knew this. He knew that once he went as far as to taste it he'd be a goner, which was why he knew he had to tread carefully as the lines blurred further. There was no going back when it came to you; once he let himself into your orbit, he'd never, ever be strong enough to leave.)

He flinched as his screen lit up in his hand.

Right above the dozen messages from you as Mystery Girl, was one new text from you. The actual you, the last four digits of the number you’d told him to look out for.

02-939-0…, 8:12PM: hihi!! it is me (y/n lol) 

Renjun sat up fast enough to make himself dizzy, immediately forgetting that he'd meant to text you back first in the other thread, too focused on not keeping you waiting. The real you, anyway.

(What he hadn't really realized yet though, was that the moment he met you on that court, he'd already committed the fatal act of placing the sugar on his tongue. All that was left was to fall deeper and deeper into the high.)

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♥︎ please leave a like if you enjoyed! every time i get a notification it motivates me to work on this series faster ♥︎

[amberjazmyn]

i'm already there🫶

pairing : max verstappen x fem!reader,alluded dad!lando norris x fem!reader, dad!charles leclerc x fem!reader, dad!oscar piastri x fem!reader

summary : a portion of the lyrics of westlife's song "i'm already there" illustrates the joys, tears, heartbreak and every other emotion in relation to being away from loved ones whilst travelling around the world for formula one.

warnings : reunions, happy tears, sad tears, swearing

a/n : this was written one other time for westlife but i wanted to rewrite it but for f1 since i just want to get another f1 grid one shot out idk lol!

max vestappen:

i'm already there, don't make a sound. i'm the beat in your heart, i'm the moonlight shining down. i'm the whisper in the wind and i'll be there 'til the end. 

you sighed shakily as you mysteriously waited in the monaco airport. you had no idea why you were even in the airport since max, your boyfriend and his f1 team weren't leaving for an international grand prix so, you literally had no clue whatsoever why he had dragged you all the way to mote-carlo airport from your guys' place in monte-carlo. however, your boyfriend had cleverly come up with this plan to surprise you, his girlfriend, with the homecoming of your military twin sister and you were absolutely none the wiser. you didn't even realise this is what was happening because every other time you and your family were welcoming your sister back home from the military, you had to go to a specific terminal hidden away from regular public access so you just thought that maybe max had dragged the both of you here to watch the planes take off and land because that was another thing that you and max would drive the two-ish hour drive from your hous to the airport for. 

however, you didn't realise the surprise you were in for when max tapped your shoulders since you were facing away from him to only turn around to see your sister walking out of the gate towards the both of you. your eyes widened and you staggered to your feet and, almost like a giraffe learning to walk, ran over to your sister. pulling you into her arms, you couldn't believe that she was home. you two had jokingly started to message the song, i'm already there, the westlife version, to one another just days ago not even realising that it was a cute little clue that your sister was going to be home very soon. 

"...you...you're home!" you muttered in shock as max smiled, watching two of his favourite girls reunite - proud that he managed to keep such a surprise under lock and key

"yes i am! i'm home!" she smiled as she pulled out of the hug and held you at an arms length just to get a good look of you - noticing that not very much had changed except for a new hair colour and some new piercings 

"that's why you were messaging me the lyrics of i'm already there? you were coming home!" you chuckled lightly as she nodded her head, quite proud that whilst the clue was quite obvious, it still flew right over your head 

"mhm. that is correct! i was on my way home the whole entire time, the last lyric that i sent you, i'm the whisper in the wind, and i'll be there 'til the end was sent just before my flight left afghanistan," she smiled as you couldn't help the shake of your head as you both giggled 

"how on earth did i not realise it wasn't just a cute little joke?" you sighed, facepalming as your sister and max both giggled as max and your sister reunited and hugged one another 

"because max made sure you didn't look too much into it. your boyfriend was more involved in this surprise a lot more than you think, y.n," the older twin giggled as you couldn't believe it, what masterminds your sister and boyfriend were 

"goddamit it! why am i so gullible!" you sighed with another giggle as you forgot you were still in an airport 

"you're not, you were just so adorably focused on all the planes landing and taking off that you seemingly forgot why you were so confused originally," max perked up as he kissed your cheek as you smiled 

after all the thrill of being surprised went down, you, your sister and max walked a little further through the airport, watched a few more planes landing and taking off before you three decided it was time to get something good to eat on your way home from the airport back to your guys' apartment in monte-carlo. 

but, just as you three stepped in the car, the very song that you and your sister were messaging the lyrics to each other started to play on the radio and the same westlife version. and at this point, you could only believe that it was fate and you felt at ease and peaceful that your sister was home and that she was safe. she was no longer just the beat in your heart or the moonlight shining down or the whisper in the wind, she was right in front of you and she was safe. 

lando norris:

we may be a thousand miles apart but i'll be with you wherever you are, i'm already there take a look around.

whilst you loved being the girlfriend of formula one driver, lando norris, there was only one small thing that you didn't enjoy and that was when their grand prix's took place during the times you had to be outside of europe and in australia and you weren't able to go with him. currently, lando and the other nineteen drivers and their teams were in america for the austin grand prix and the mexican grand prix before it was a two week break before a treacherous triple header which thankfully, you would be able to get time off of study to travel with lando for that triple header. and then after the triple header, you would return back to australia where lando would travel to the middle east for the qatar and abu dhabi races which were the last of the season where you would meet up with him again.

so, because you weren't allowed to travel for these next two races in america because you were studying internationally in australia, you weren't able to watch lando race and be his lucky charm. but, thankfully, you weren't alone in australia. one of the other wags, daniel ricciardo's girlfriend heidi was also currently in australia as well. it was a complete coincidence that the state you were studying in was the state that heidi was currently visiting on holiday alongside daniel since he wasn't needed since he was still the third reserve for red bull. so, what the three of you decided to do was to have sleepovers, going back and forth from the holiday home that daniel and heidi were staying in and the apartment that you were renting for the entire time you were studying in that state.

however, at this stage, you were struggling because it had been months since you'd last seen lando and you were drowning half the time in your university work. and it seemed like heidi noticed straight away as you desperately tried to cram in so much study since you decided you needed a break. only for you to feel as though you were now falling behind when really, you weren't at all.

"...hey, y.n, do you need help?" heidi came up behind you softly, a small hand to the bottom of your back as you couldn't help the trembling breath that left your mouth 

"umm...i..." you trailed off as tears hit your eyes and a sob left your mouth as immediately, daniel seemingly came out of nowhere and gently lifted you out of your seat as heidi pulled you in for a hug as she let you cry

after daniel had cleaned up the desk that was filled with so much uni work, he rushed back over and joined the hug as you continued to cry as they both comforted you. it was obvious you were exhausted and needed a break but you couldn't give yourself one because no matter what, you always needed to prioritise your uni work first and then you were a secondary choice. it was obvious to heidi and daniel why you were suddenly crumbling under the pressure. you were a nursing student who had been graciously given so many days out so you could travel the world but now you had run out of them until after the american races and you were in the long-distance part of your relationship with lando and it wasn't like you could just ring your boyfriend any time you wanted because he was across bloody oceans from you. it was also hard on lando being so far away from you, he didn't fully know how to help you with your study because he didn't know much about what goes on about becoming a nurse. and you knew for sure that being so far away from you was killing him inside every second of every day he was away. so you weren't mad at lando at all, he was simply doing his job which was how you guys were surviving and providing for your little two-person family.

you had finally started to stop the tears and managed to not wake up the rest of the neighbourhood which you were shocked at considering you were not a silent crier, "i'm sorry! i don't know what came over me..." you trailed off before heidi and daniel stopped you from continuing 

"...don't apologise, y.n, you're exhausted! it's hard being in a long-distance relationship and a nursing student with all of this work piled up when your boyfriend is on the other side of the world and the rest of your support system being there as well. i get it, i mean, i have the same feelings when i can't be with daniel and it's hard but, i also remember to ask for help and to stay with friends and family because i know i can't always do it all on my own. which reminds me, when was the last time you spoke on the phone to lando's family? i'm sure they'd love to catch up with you over a facetime call, especially lando's sisters cisca and flo! and even oli's wife, savannah would love it! even letting lando in on this plan would be helpful too, just so we're all on the same page!" heidi proposed as you sniffled and nodded your head with a smile

"yeah, that does sound like a good plan, heidi! i shouldn't have tried to do it all on my own! i should have asked lando's family for help from the start as well as extended family i have here," you smiled as heidi and daniel smiled back as you three hugged again

like heidi and daniel promised, as they all huddled together on the couch away from all the nursing notes and asessments, you rang up lando just to check in with him and make sure he was okay coping since you knew he was also a worrier especially now after the pointy end of your nursing degree was approaching. you could tell almost the moment lando spoke up over the phone that he was also fighting against his emotions like you were. however, you were just glad that he was finally given time to have a full-on conversation as last time you tried, you could only speak for five minutes before lando had to hang up. so, it felt great having over an hour of a conversation with your boyfriend. it reminded you that whilst you may be a thousand miles apart from lando sometimes, he was always there and all you had to was just to look around you. he was in the photos covering the walls, he was in the sunshine that reflected in your hair, but most importantly, he was in the photos that you plastered all around the house so you wouldn't feel lonely.  

charles leclerc:

she got back on the phone, said, "i really miss you, darling. don't worry about the kids, they'll be alright." wish i was in your arms, laying right there beside you, but i know i'll be in your dreams tonight. "and i'll gently kiss your lips, touch you with my fingertips, so turn out the lights and close your eyes." 

you were on your own with your husband charles being away at the tailend of the triple header in japan, azerbaijan and singapore whilst you looked after the twin girls you shared together, jules and antoinette. you were now back on the phone with charles after you let the twins talk to their daddy. they then sat and watched with tired eyes as you finished up the call with their daddy so the three of you could go to bed together in the lounge room.

"...i really miss you, darling. but, don't worry about jules and nini, they'll be alright. we're doing perfectly fine without you but, it's never fun just the three of us, we need daddy home with us!" you sighed with a small giggle as you could hear the emotions in charles' voice on the other line while he was all the way in singapore for the end of that specific triple header

"i miss you too babe. but, i'll be home soon and i'll gently kiss your lips, touch you with my fingertips... it's getting late in monaco and i have more meetings and things i need to be at, so turn out the lights and close your eyes, you need sleep baby! i promise, the race is going to fly by and i'll be home before you guys know it, okay?" charles' voice was soft and filled with so much love that you felt okay with having to end the call since you were basically falling asleep at the mere sound of his voice over the phone 

"ok, it's probably a good idea as i'm basically falling asleep at the mere sound of your voice bebe*giggles*. and i know, it's going to go by so quickly that you'll be home soon and we can then go out to france for a little getaway holiday with the girls and we'll be happy again!" you slurred as sleep really started to takeover as you heard charles' sweet, gentle giggles over the phone slip right into your ears

"good. you need sleep mi amor, you need to also take care of yourself, not just the girls! and deal, we can go to france for a little holiday with the girls, it'll be a lot of fun. but, right now, you need to hang up this phone call and you need to go to sleep and so do the girls because i can picture you guys in the lounge room after rearranging it so you could all sleep together...so, it's bedtime and i'll talk to you tomorrow and i promise i'll tell you everything about the race in our facetime tomorrow at the airport, okay?" charles convinced you as you smiled as nini, the youngest of the girls, cuddled up against you as you kissed her hair before finally deciding to finish up the call 

"okay. i love you, amor. see you soon and, you better tell me everything about the race in tomorrow's facetime otherwise i'll be ringing up carlos *giggles*. goodnight bebe, i love you," you smiled as charles also smiled on the other end of the phone all the way in singapore 

"i love you too, bebe. talk tomorrow," charles giggled as he ended the call before sighing to himself, only wishing the wags could always come with them for all of their races even though it was practically impossible due to having jobs and also having young kids

as you turned your phone off, placing it on the armrest of the couch, nini spoke up, "is papa gone now?" she questioned in her sleepy voice as you couldn't help your facial expression as you hugged your youngest girl tighter 

"yeah baby, he had to hang up the phone cause it's bedtime for us and daddy has meetings before his race tonight with your uncles!" you whispered in a baby voice as nini nodded her head as her eyes started to close 

"oh, okay. goodnight mama. i love you and papa!" nini mumbled as her eyes fully shut and she fell asleep basically on top of you 

you chuckled softly, kissing the little princess on the top of her head, "goodnight baby nini. i love you too and papa loves you as well!" you whispered as you lowered yourself, making yourself and nini comfortable on the couch as jules after patiently waiting, joined you 

cuddling on the other side of you, jules closed her eyes and started to fall asleep but, not before she also said goodnight, "goodnight mama, i love you and papa," jules muttered sleep overcame her as well as you smiled

laying awake for a couple more minutes after your two girls had all fallen asleep, you could only feel excited that your husband charles would be returning home soon. you were also smiling because you damn well knew that you'd be dreaming over your husband being home with you and you were always so excited when you dreamt about charles just because it was endless and it was always an adventure. 

oscar piastri: 

he called her on the road, from a lonely cold hotel room, just to hear her say "i love you" one more time. and when he heard the sound, of kids laughing in the background, he had to wipe away a tear from his eye. a little voice came on the phone said, "daddy, when you're coming home?" he said the first thing that came to his mind. 

you had just managed to calm down your little daughter, ellie and her brother noah that you share with your husband oscar, when your phone started to ring. it spooked you but, nevertheless, you answered the phone and smiled when you heard your husband's voice on the other end. it was obvious he had called you just to hear you say i love you one more time even though you had just spent the last twenty minutes sending each other i love yous back and forth. 

immediately, the moment you picked up the phone, it was as though your two kids, ellie and noah knew straight away who it was that you were talking to and started to laugh and play with each other, not realising that their dad could hear them. you could tell even though you weren't seeing each other face to face that oscar was crying due to the way he was breathing against the phone.

 you smiled sadly as you picked up ellie, put your phone on speaker and her little voice spoke up, "daddy, when are you coming home?" ellie's voice was soft and pure and, of course, the first thing that came to oscar's mind was what he said 

"i'm already there baby girl. just look around you darling, i'm in your reflection, i'm the sunshine in your hair..." oscar sniffled, just wishing he wasn't halfway across the world as you couldn't help your own heart breaking at hearing the upset in your husbands voice 

it was confusing for ellie because she couldn't understand why her dad was crying. especially considering before having ellie and noah, they had never seen their dad be the levelheaded, unemotional person he was before they had arrived. so, she just looked at you in confusion as she handed you the phone. you smiled sadly as you gestured for her to continue playing with her little brother as long as they were quiet. 

"you alright babe?" you questioned, hearing oscar's sniffles as he tearfully giggled, most likely wiping away his tears 

"yeah, i'm fine babe. just didn't realise how much i actually missed the sound of ellie's voice..." oscar swallowed back a sob as you moved into the kitchen, trusting ellie and noah not needing you to constantly keep your eyes on them whilst you spoke with their dad

"...i'm sorry babe. ellie just heard you over the phone and she got excited. she misses you by the way, so does noah. but, they're doing perfectly fine, they're just a little bit confused often as to why they can't see their daddy but can hear him. i forget how intelligent children actually are even though they're still so young, they are way too observant *giggles*. anyway though, i don't want to make you cry even more so, how have the races in the triple header been going, the races fun?" you smiled as oscar again tearfully laughed and wiped away tears on the other end of the phone

"don't apologise babe, it's not your fault, i wish we weren't so far away. and i miss you three as well, but i'm glad that they're doing good. oh yeah, i also forget how smart they are, i accidentally overheard lando and his girl's phone call last night and i could hear their little ones in the background just making their sweet baby noises and could tell it was absolutely breaking lando's heart into two. and, you won't make me cry more, it'll be me that does that myself since it's all i've been doing since becoming a dad! *giggles* and the races have been so much fun and yeah, the media things also have been so much fun. but, i'm very excited to come back home and see my two girls and my gorgeous little boy again," oscar smiled, noticing lando and a few other drivers he was close with giving him worried looks as they noticed the tears but, he reassured them he was okay 

you could hear the three other drivers, lando, logan and alex in the background and could tell that they were most likely checking in on oscar, to make sure he was okay and that made you smile as you rested against the kitchen bench, "you sure you're okay, osc? i can hear lando, logan and alex in the background which usually means you're not okay..." you trailed off as oscar giggled which made you smile 

"...i'm truly okay babe. i was upset and crying at the beginning when ellie had the phone but, i'm okay now. anyway, enough about me, how are you dealing with all of this? i know how stressful it can be on you having to deal with two little gremlins *giggles* so how are you?" oscar then switched it over to you as you smiled, not even needing to think about your reponse

and, truthfully, you thought you'd be struggling a lot more however, you weren't since you had remembered to ask for help this time. since, the first time oscar had returned back to racing after ellie had been born, you didn't ask for help. and you cried yourself to sleep every single night until the last day of the grand prix when lily, alex's girlfriend, had suggested you ask for help and you did

however, this time, you didn't allow yourself to be in struggle town now that you've had baby noah, along with ellie, you had both grandparents, oscar's parents chris and nicole as well as your own dropping past every now and then to take them for a couple evenings. so, this triple header, you were doing a lot better and you were a lot less stressed. 

"i'm okay babe. i'm a lot less stressed this time around. tomorrow and over the weekend, i'll be having a girls night in with your sisters and lily so, ellie and noah will be with mum and dad so, i'm doing great thanks. anyway, where are you right now? last time we chatted you guys were in singapore so, are you boys still there or have you moved on?" you questioned, hearing oscar breathe a sigh of relief that you were doing better than last time as he smiled 

"we've moved on babe, we left singapore last night and we arrived in qatar early this morning. we're just chilling in my hotel room right now all together. so, i'm not on my own this time like i was a few nights ago when we both cried together over the phone *giggles* but yeah, no, this time i've got the three boys with me," oscar smiled as he laughed as the boys all cheered, hoping they were loud enough for you to hear them - which they were 

"yeah, i can hear them, osc*giggles* but i'm glad that you're not alone this time. it's not healthy to be alone when you're struggling like that and i'm glad you've all got each other because me, your sister's and lily all have each others backs when we miss you so, it's good you guys can lean on each other for support..." you trailed off, for the first time running out of things to say since you had been updating oscar daily on everything so there was all of a sudden nothing else to talk about 

"...yeah, anyway, i better hang the phone up cause i remembered that you're going out for dinner with the wags tonight so, who's looking after ellie and noah tonight? my parents or yours?" oscar questioned as you smiled that he even remembered that as you then noticed the kids scream in excitement - their nanna and pops had just arrived 

"that was perfect timing babe cause they've just arrived and it's your parents tonight babe. my parents have them tomorrow and over the weekend!" you laughed as you went over to the front door and let in your inlaws as immediately, nicole picked up ellie and chris picked up noah before they both pulled you in for a hug 

they then noticed you were on the phone to oscar as they smiled and took the littles to the lounge room so you could finish off the phone call, "wow, yeah, that is amazing timing! and, wonderful, well, i'll let you go now babe as you've probably got to go get ready, are you driving or are you being picked up?" oscar questioned as you just loved at how involved he was with everything even though he was across a couple of oceans 

"i know right babe! and yeah, i'm just going to our room now to get dressed since i did my makeup just before you called actually *giggles* and kelly just picked up lily, alex and lando's new girlfriend and is on their way to ours now so, they should be here in like, five/ten minutes, since logan's girlfriend is already at the restaurant waiting for us," you smiled as oscar smiled again and mumbled a "mhm"

"well, i guess its time to end the call then babe. i love you so much, have fun tonight with the girls. talk with you tomorrow, yeah?" oscar starts to wrap up as you smiled as you stepped into your sweet little black dress you had picked out for the dinner 

"okay. i love you so much more babe, and we plan to have fun but not too much obviously! and yeah, talk tomorrow! tell me everything about the races and we'll talk about other stuff as well since i won't have ellie and noah with me, bye-bye," you ended the call after hearing another faint "bye babe, love you" and finished getting ready 

you were putting on your shoes and earrings when you came back down the stairs to see ellie and noah behaving perfectly with their nanna and pops. walking over to the couch, you gave them both hugs and kisses and then gave kisses to ellie and noah's heads. 

"i am so sorry, nicole and chris, i was on the phone to oscar. he's in qatar with the rest of the teams and they have their race tonight. he was a little bit upset and started to cry after hearing ellie talk on the phone, asking him when he was coming home, but, apart from that, he's doing okay and is pleased to know that i'm doing much better this time around," you immediately gave nicole and chris the update from the phone call as they smiled, even though they heard about oscar's tears, they still smiled knowing he was okay 

"oh, don't apologise y.n, thank you for the update. so, is kelly picking you up tonight?" nicole smiled as you smiled, nodding your head 

"yes, nicole. kelly has already picked up lily, alexandra and lando's new girlfriend and logan's girlfriend is at the restaurant already holding the table for us. but kelly, lily, alexandra and lando's new wag should only be about five minutes away now. umm, of course, i don't need to go over the rules with you but, ellie and noah have said that for dinner tonight, they'd love it if they got some chocolate afterwards so, i have two little chocolate bars for them in the pantry that you can give to them afterwards. umm, yeah, i think that's all i have to say since you always know what to do but, yeah, thank you again for coming down to take care of them. i just didn't want to ask mum and dad to have them for four days in a row so, yeah," you smiled at the end as chris and nicole smiled as they sat with ellie and noah in their laps whilst the kids were focused on the kids show on the tv in front of them 

"no worries. we'll make sure ellie and noah get those chocolate bars after dinner and, absolutely understandable, y.n. it's not a problem, ellie and noah are just the most perfect little angels ever! we love looking after them!" chris spoke up this time as nicole nodded her head as you nodded your head with a smile as you grabbed your handbag as kelly's car had just driven up the driveway 

giving one last hug and kiss to ellie and noah and one last goodbye to your inlaws, you left your house out of the front door, closing the door behind you. not needing to lock it since both your inlaws were there and you climbed into kelly's car as you greeted each other, you, kelly, alexandra, lily and reintroducing yourself to lando's new girlfriend, before starting to car up and leaving for the restaurant where logan's girlfriend was patiently waiting for you. 

fin

this was so much fun to rewrite but omg, this was not what i originally wanted to publish since i have a charles one-shot that's really sad but has ended up taking so much longer than expected. so, it's sitting in my drafts after deciding i wanted to put this one out first since it was way shorter lol and because i just wanted to publish something in the inbetween of the bigger charles one-shot.

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[oluka]

Tony and transhumanism

Tony Stark mentions in Captain Marvel: Dark Tempest (2023) #3.

Setting aside the “even HE knows what hands-off means”, it's interesting to me that when faced with a humanoid-machine blend, Carol's mind goes to Tony. She says that Tony was the original transhuman, and well, he maybe wasn't the first in the marvel universe, but he got his first synthetic heart in Iron Man #19 (back in 1969!), and transhumanism has been a part of his story arc for a long time. Some examples on the top of my mind (I know there are more, this is not an exhaustive list):

-When Tony had an implant in his mind to remotely control the armour while he was paralyzed in volume 1.

-His fight with the sentient armour in volume 3, and the end of it, when it gave him its heart (Iron Man vol.3 #30). And fully replaced Tony's heart with its own "mechanical bio-physiology". An artificial heart that was still implanting itself into Tony and fixing his broken ribs in issue 31 (body horror much??).

-Extremis, of course, which to me is the height of Tony's path to transhumanism. It's one of the two logical conclusions to his search to always perfect Iron Man and himself. Either make his body machine, or forgo the body entirely (looking at the three different Tony Stark AIs Tony has made). Extremis is especially good to me because of how he made himself the perfect blend of man and machine. Tony had until then always had recurring problems with his heart and other physical disabilities, and with Extremis he was finally past that "flaw". He was stronger, could heal, but more importantly, his mind was faster and better. I think he never came closer to erasing the line between Tony Stark and Iron Man than he did then. There was so much potential for this story beat, but Civil War and Dark Reign kind of ruined it. I really wish we could have had Extremis for longer, and really explore the classic "what makes one human" "man vs machine" and other transhumanist questions with Tony. Oh well. As an aside, it's interesting to me that Superior Iron Man decided to bring Extremis back. Clearly to him that was the next step of evolution, or in his words, what made him a god. If we push the analysis further, does this mean that regular Tony has developed an aversion to Extremis and what it entails? Maybe some left-over trauma from the Civil War and brain deletion?

-The repulsor node in Tony's chest after he was brought back. That controlled his brain. And also the bleeding edge armour that Tony casually put into his bone marrow. You know. Like one does.

-The fact that Tony apparently was experimenting on his biology and body and that that was the only reason Carol didn't kill him at the end of Civil War II. And then the fact that he managed to bring himself back to life and synthetize a new body.

-The Tony Stark AI that ran around during Secret Empire. Who made himself drunk, and also remembered Civil War somehow, and had all of Tony's character traits and regrets (see Secret Empire (2017) #6). I know it's probably an error on the writer's part, but I choose to believe that somehow this artificial version of Tony really remembers the Civil War. On top of AI Tony acting and thinking like the flesh and blood one, everyone around him really treated him like the "real" Tony. Hydra Steve even said that Tony downloaded his consciousness into the AI. Making it essentially Tony. I don't know where I'm going with this but I have Feelings about AI Tony.

-The whole mess of Tony Stark: Iron Man and Iron Man 2020 where Tony was wondering if he was just a soulless copy of the original dead Tony Stark (Which, weird that he now starts to worry about this after all his deaths and comas and whatnots), decided he was just an AI in an artificial body, and then with the help of his friends remade his body. Again. Also, he spoke with AI Tony for like five minutes and then AI Tony sacrificed himself. I am still mad about that.

Transhumanism is one of the most important beats in Tony's character, right alongside his quest to make the future better and his alcoholism. It's a facinating subject that I will never get enough of, especially not in relation to Tony, who for a very long time has dealt with physical disability, and whose mind and genius is maybe the one thing he can rely on and one of the rare things about himself that he is proud of.

Right now, Tony's just a regular man in a can again, but I really hope that we'll see more of his journey into transhumanism, because to me it's an essential part of his character. And done well, it's an excellent source for angst, too.

[milkteaarttime]

Latte Personality: A More In-Depth Analysis

I did say I wanted to retcon Latte a little more. I thought I could have done better explaining her personality type. Since she was lowkey still baking in my empty shell of a head when I initiated the first update. I would like to go into more detail and humanize her a little more and give a bit more in-depth of her personality (because I want to separate her more from me and into a character that only has my attributes but not an self-insert. Also to separate from my personality, an ENFP)

Please excuse any grammar and spelling issues. I'm half asleep lol

If I had to use the 16 personalities MBTI to describe her, I want to say she is The Consul aka ESFJ. Maybe her enneagram is 2 "The Helper".

Personality outline:  

Latte is naturally very social, she has great practical skills, knows what her place is, and is a very loyal person. She is a very trustworthy, warm, sensitive, and hard-working woman.

Growing up she was a popular child in the Chinese community in her area, worked hard at her family restaurant, sang and played piano, studied well at school, and was social/polite/pleasant in front of adults and kids alike (haha how traditional). She is responsible, never had a bad thing to say about her parents/life, never complained in front of others and leaned into the ideal version of a daughter her parents/culture believed she should be. She participated in local events and talent competitions with her singing/piano, and she won a few times. This elevated her “status” among the Chinese kids in their community. “Why can't you be more that girl… Latte?”  (Yes she's the kid your parents would compare you to.) But because she was legitimately warm, the other kids couldn’t be upset with her. 

Supportive and chatty, the type to make people feel reassured/welcomed. Her nature to care for others and establish harmony makes her easy to get along with. Her personality is like the nice popular girl in high school who knows a bit abt everyone if you will.

She is also very good at making connections with people. Her experiences working at a restaurant and building rapport with the regulars helped her with learning how to be a good nurse. 

She can make people around her feel at ease and diffuse/de-escalate any angry customers at her family restaurant and patients at her hospitals. Making her the preferred person to call to smooth disagreements. Even if she hates confrontation.

Bit of a traditionalist when it comes to dating/romantic life, and definitely wants to be chased. She believes the man pays for the date/dinner, gets her parent’s approval before marriage (had they been alive), dislikes talking to multiple people and having “options” since it seems dishonest to her and she is very loyal. Never flings and situation-ships. However, in return for wanting a bit of princess treatment, she will go above and beyond to make her partner happy. 

Some drawbacks: 

Due to her upbringing in a traditional Chinese immigrant family as the eldest daughter. She tends to want to maintain appearances/faces. This is a huge part of Chinese culture, "do not embarrass the family". Think Mulan and the “bring-honour-to-her-family” type. She is often worried about their family’s appearance and their standing in the community. Especially stressed about how her actions affect her family and social image. the worst she had done was a mild emo phase that she hid well from everyone, only Viktor knows about it.

She can sometimes be seen as inflexible. She is fixated on keeping the status quo, not rocking the boat/keep the peace. A big example is Viktor being less conventional so she keeps attempting to change him and often mothers or nags at him.

Sensitive towards criticism, as the eldest daughter, she grew up with a lot more “suggestive feedback” than her brother or any other child would, this causes her to become a perfectionist and sometimes defensive of herself and her actions. She is deathly afraid of losing the place/reputation she fought tooth and nail to get. Seeks approval from people “higher up” on the social/relational hierarchy than her. Can get a bit needy when she thinks she is not being seen.

Can be too selfless and neglect her own needs, courtesy of the “Be considerate to others” lesson her mother drilled into her. She often lets her parent’s teachings and her traditional upbringing dictate her choices even if it is not 100% beneficial to her (foreshadowing lol)

Gets upset/stressed when others step out of bounds, disrupts order, or when things are out of her grasp and understanding. Again, she is too afraid of the drawback to being “different” and the idea of losing the “place” and “role” she worked so hard to establish. 

(Thank you for reading this far!! I did some research and a lot of soul-searching to craft Latte. I used my own experiences with my culture and expectations to make her a more realistic character. But her backstory is still largely creative and not real lol.)

(Latte is the kid my Chinese parents would compare me to. No joke XD)

[gumjester]

Where do you think Alice is in EAH? What's up with her? What do you think of her? Basically do you have any headcanons about her? ;)

oh alice!!!!!! yes, i have thoughts about her, which i think are quite unconventional, as i have a highly specific (and maybe convoluted) imagining of what exactly she has gotten up to in her life.. i think this is going to take some explaining.

ultimately i have had alice serve as a developed, largely tragic reason 4 alistair to be involved with wonderland the way he is. i remember watching spring unsprung all those Years ago and asking myself: why is alistair the same age as the other wonderlandians? shouldn't he b an entire generation younger than them to fit the story? why is he still there, anyway, now being very obviously not a little child?? and we've seen every other wonderlandian parent, so yes, where on earth IS alice???

so, i started there, and worked backwards!

most of this is clarified (or at least said slightly better) in my work 'alistair's fall', but i didn't think alice would end up remaining in wonderland and i never thought of her living in ever after, mostly because i couldnt think of another reason she would not be seen nor mentioned in the show at all! i always considered her an inhabitant of the 'mortal world' [working title], which is different 2 both ever after and wonderland in that it is.. our world i suppose? but fictionalised. normal human dimension, regardless..

this always made the most sense to me, as the separation of the fantastical and the regular is such a fundamental aspect of the original alice story, and if alice hailed from ever after, a place where dragons wandered around and wolves could speak, i dont think it would end up meaning quite the same thing... theme-wise.

so, she is from common old london, and it is there that she returned after her story! unfortunately things get more depressing from here.

alice is quite a sad character in my headcanons.. she loved wonderland very much as her accidental visit provided a refuge from her exceedingly troubled home life, and actually didn't want to leave at all. when it happened anyway (wonderland's stories work more like patterns in nature. a child comes, a child goes. its just what seems to happen) she refused to let her experience go, maintaining that wonderland was not a dream, like most alices decide, but instead a real place that she could return to one day. her life continued as a series of misfortunes, and she grew obsessive, detatched, and quite ill. most of her worldly thoughts and efforts were directed towards getting back to the rabbit-hole and returning to wonderland where she would be safe and happy again. she was never successful.

in her early twenties she ended up alone, still ill, with a child, who she named alistair. giving him a version of her name felt like ensuring his luck that he, too, would get to go to wonderland someday (and she was right).

to make ends meet, she took several odd jobs for several unsavoury people, and ended up on the bad side of someone who believed in extreme measures. she ran from them, with alistair, to the now-derelict house she grew up in, and when inevitably she was found she knew what she had to do.

alice sent alistair out quickly and secretly from the house, and down to the stream where she knew the rabbit-hole must be (if not for her, then surely for him. wonderland is kind like that; if a child is in need, it will open itself to them). alistair found the rabbit-hole. alice stayed behind and met her consequence.

of course, this is a pretty gratuitously miserable thing to put her through, but i was about 17 when i thought of all this and my taste has remained edgy enough to think it effective!!! to this day i have no idea if she ought to be alive in the mortal world, or dead.. maybe one day, if i write a sequel to alistair's fall, i will actually have to make this decision!.... but not yet

[prowerprojects]

Hi! Hope you’re doing wonderfully!✨ My question is what got you into Sonamy? (If you are)

Hi! Thank you ^_^

I am! In fact, I would say it's my top ship for both of them (though with Sonic this spot is shared with Sonknux, I couldn't be asked to choose between them hehe).

The only versions of them that I don't really ship is Fleetway, and Boom (more on that later).

With Fleetway, I feel like it does a very good job at doing a "What if Amy actually got over Sonic and then got into a relationship with someone else (who isn't similar to Sonic so it doesn't look like a bad rebound), and she and Sonic become even closer friends" type of scenario (Which I gotta admit, Fleetway Sonic and Amy have an amazing dynamic and they're ride or die for each other), which is also partially why I'm not interested in seeking it out just for the sake of it. (I do ship Amy with characters other than Sonic or Tekno, but that's not the reason why). I feel like it partially also raises my interest in Sonamy, like. We've already seen what happens when she gets over Sonic, let's see something else now? Right?

Some people might think it doesn't count, because Fleetway Amy is so different from regular Amy, and maybe, if you compare her to Adventure Amy. But I actually find her quite similar to the way Amy is written in IDW, they even have kind of a similar, "edgier" compared to other versions of the character, sense of humor. (Also this is me saying modern!Teknamy would totally work how are there no fics with Tekno in the game-esque universe?? (Heck there's almost no Fleetway based Teknamy fics either for how much everyone is gushing about their relationship) I can't see her working for Eggman here, but maybe she could work for GUN developing weapons for them, while also using their resources for personal projects on the side (maybe befriending Team Dark in the process), but when it gets discovered GUN tries to arrest them but Team Dark helps them get away and hide, eventually they meet Sonic & friends, including Amy. Since GUN got destroyed in Forces, Tekno is free now, maybe if you're doing an idw-based thing they could join the restoration or something. It could work! Modern!Teknamy! Think about it!)

Anyway, back to Sonamy. I don't actually remember how I started shipping them. I used to watch Sonic X a lot when I was little, but I guess the Sonamy didn't make that big of an impact on me back then, I mostly remembered Knuckles and Rouge having a thing there.

Then way later I was actively watching the Sonic Boom tv show as it was coming out, but... I didn't like Sonamy there at all. It's not their relationship on its own, but everyone making jokes about it, "shipping" them together in-universe which made me not like it. It just felt really forced. (And the issues with Amy's portrayal in Boom are a topic for a completely different discussion)

And it's only when I properly got into games that I actually saw what their relationship is actually like!

And I'll be real... it wasn't always... great. There was some turbulence. I even believe the people who think Amy didn't even initially like Sonic, but only was infatuated with his image of a hero and the freedom & adventures that she had associated with him. She projected her fairytale fantasies combined with heteronormative societal expectations onto him and their potential relationship. (Just look at her in Adventure! She misses Sonic because she misses adventures, she thanks him for saving her because he's her hero but he actually barely did anything there! She was the hero!) No wonder Sonic wasn't on board with that! (Even though he still was always friends with Amy) Who would be! But here's the kicker:

It changed

The dynamic changed! They changed! And it's always fun. I can't hate the way Tails is written on Colors–Frontiers because there's dynamic! He's going through a little character arc! (A character arc of hitting rock bottom instead of becoming his best self but an arc nonetheless. It's something interesting. And now we get to see him rise back up)

And it also shows that their dynamic is able to evolve and isn't stuck! Which means there is a possibility that it would evolve further! Isn't that just fun to think about?

Amy became more confident in herself. She realized she didn't need Sonic to go on adventures or to save her. With this, their relationship became more equal. Sonic in general became more personable and closer to his friends.

Amy is now not blinded by just seeing Sonic as "Her Hero" and is able to see him as a person that he actually is and falls in love for real! I already mentioned this before, but I think her attempt at confession in Lost World signifies that. Everyone already knows she loves him, but now, it's different.

On Sonic's end, there aren't as many changes, he's just able to be more open and comfortable around her (even though she's still able to occasionally throw him off with her over the top energy). (I also personally headcanon that Sonic didn't have a lot of experiences with romance which might have lead him to believe that the way Amy acted initially is "the standard" (which he couldn't and didn't want to match, and prevented him from realizing his feelings for a longer time. I personally headcanon him as demiro which is probably why my top ships with his are with his two closest friends)

Ultimately, their dynamic on its own is fun, too. They're a kickass team and they have a similar sense of humor, which is fun and I wish we got to see them banter more. They also have a similar fascination with adventures and love for nature and the world. Sonic doesn't need to slow down for Amy because she loves him as he is, and Amy doesn't need to give up her projects to be by Sonic's side because he's always supportive and encouraging of her!

They just have a very cozy friendship nowadays, especially when you remember everything that happened before we got there! But that's what makes it so good. The history they have, the work they put into their relationship, no soulmate "love from first sight" can match that. (Though of course they're also now canonically soulmates too because of Frontiers but they're also soulmates with Tails and Knuckles so it's not like that)

Hehe, well. I rambled a lot, not sure I actually answered your question 😅 I guess they're just cute!

[♡]

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #180

I am having a worse pain day than usual today. It's probably because yesterday, I wore a bra; ever since the rib injury, my ribs have not liked any kind of compression that's much more than a loose-fitting T-shirt. But it's warm outside lately, and I wanted to feel the breeze on my skin without worrying about what people might see if they look through my windows, so I wore the mesh things that I got from that shop I talked about before (they fit really well!! I was surprised!!), and I've felt pretty good lately, so I thought it would be okay, and… I guess it wasn't. It's been a while since I've woken up in this much pain. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to do the dishes today, or even use my right arm very much at all.

Well. That's all right. It's frustrating and ouchy, but I'll manage. I got some ibuprofen in my system. M took care of washing the cat bowls and feeling our fuzzy feline children. I wanted tea, but then I changed my mind and wanted chocolate cola (thank you, Chocolate Coke Anon!!!). So J made chocolate cola for me, by dissolving a bunch of chocolate syrup into a small amount of canned cola, and then pouring the rest of the cola in slowly. Here's how it turned out:

...Isn't it beautiful??? And it was absolutely delectable, oh my goodness!!!

Then, J made gluten free pancakes and eggs. Br can't have gluten, so we've tried to find tasty gluten-free things for her. We came across this gluten-free pancake mix, and as it turns out, it has better texture and flavor than regular pancakes!! I don't normally like pancakes, but I do like these ones!

J likes to season sunny-side-up eggs with garlic powder and salt. The result is always amazing every time. And today, I added some cheese to melt over it. I melted some goat butter over the pancakes, too, and the results were absolutely delectable, oh my goodness!! Here is the bowl of deliciousness that I very much wish I could share with you:

It's not lost on me today how lucky I am to live with people who care about me enough to step up and try to help me on days when I can't function. In the past, this never would have been the case; it was always my role to step up for others, and when I broke down, others would just get angry.

…If you had told an old version of me that my life would be filled with this much kindness and care, she never would have believed you. She would have laughed right in your face and told you to get a better grip on reality. It's wonderful to live in a world where the old version of me gets proven wrong time and time again about what's possible in this world. I hope someday, the part of me that's still afraid of the old things will truly realize that she never, ever has to go back to that wretched place again.

Today's letter is early, but that's because I intend to try to play Dead Cells for real this time; I have a sneaking suspicion that if I do not rest today, I'll be even less functional tomorrow, and I don't want that, so… yeah. I'll put my weird derping around in the game on the internet where people can see it. Maybe I'll even have my face visible this time… Here:

…Maybe if I get impossibly lucky someday, I'll see you there.

I love you. Make good choices out there, okay? And stay safe. I'll write again tomorrow; maybe by then I'll feel a little better.

Your friend, Lumine

[stickthisbig]

Deadlands and Accents

Context: I went to grad school for linguistic anthropology. I'm also a born and raised Southerner; the majority of the time that I've lived somewhere else was in California.

So this post was initially much, much, much longer and got into why we can't say whether the West sounded Southern and the evidence ag'in it. There was just so much. Just so much.

"Sabine, can you really tell anything from the first episode?" Come here. Closer. Do you know how fucking long three hours is? I gave a whole-ass paper at the AAAs one year on thirty minutes of data. Maybe we revisit this later, but believe me. We've already heard a lot.

Anyway here's my analysis by player of the accents from ep 1 of Deadlands. Also it has audio of me reading my favorite Southern political speech. The original version of this post was a drunken ramble on Discord where I ranked the players, but it did feel a little catty, so I'm just going to take them in no particular order:

Literally Everyone Else In The West

Honestly, Andy's all over the place and has heavily leaned into "here's a voice that sounds olde tymey", which makes some of his characters, particularly Arlo, sound like audio animatronics. However, he's the DM and he can do what he wants. 7/10

Garnet

Iconic for just not doing an accent at all. 10/10.

Edie

Right. So. Here's the thing.

Ellen is just doing Dolly Parton. Like it's straight up and down Southern Belle. It's not very good, but it's identifiable.

You have to be really careful when you do just a regular accent that many people have. I am going to say this as delicately as I can: because of a lack of cultural understanding about how Southern women sound, Edie comes off as a raging bitch.

It turned out I couldn't be very delicate.

Ellen is just being Ellen; she is a very helpful person who is very deliberate when she explains herself in game. The way she's deploying the accent with it is making my Southern brain glitch, because that's how Southern Belles talk when they want you to go fuck yourself. The more carefully a Southerner explains themselves, the closer they are to snapping their tether. I know that Ellen does not mean to sound as pissed off as she does. I absolutely can't unhear it.

It's not very good and also it makes my brain hurt so… 3/10?

Silas

You can't fool me, I know Clint Eastwood when I hear it. I cannot understand what Silas is saying worth a good goddamn. 1/10 and that's a pity point because I actually do want to see what happens with Silas

Delacy

Really liking Luke's choices here. He's made a very smart move by mostly changing vocabulary and prosody, rather than the much, much harder phonology and syntax, and then layering the rasp over it to clean up the edges. It does make my throat hurt a little, so 9/10

Nate

So it's my understanding, and I haven't watched it yet but I should because it sounds charming, that Nate's voice is the one Johnny used for their letsplay of Frog Detective. Because of this, I think that the consensus that Nate is Benoit Blanc is probably dead on.

A lot of people agree that Benoit Blanc is Foghorn Leghorn. They're completely wrong, and let me now explain in tedious detail why, because the fact of the matter is SO much more interesting.

Now, we can all agree that Daniel Craig was just fuckin freestyling it, but crucially, he wouldn't sound like he does if he wasn't doing something specific. He is doing a specific voice that we all immediately recognized as "wily older Southern man who doesn't take too kindly to this type of nonsense." He's not doing Kentucky Colonel; he's doing Simple Country Lawyer.

Simple Country Lawyer is very popular in media- Tiny Attorney from Venture Bros, the Hyper Chicken from Futurama, any number of serious films from earlier periods. The newest version I found was this clip from Game Changer. Here's what makes it so interesting: Simple Country Lawyer is a very real register of Southern English, one that crosses dialects. I had friends who went to law school in the early 2010's who studied it. For decades it was the gold standard for both rhetoric and courtroom discourse.

It also preserves really interesting features that have fallen out of most Southern Englishes. Most Southerners used to be /r/-less, a thing that they shared with English people, but the last speakers of SAE with non-rhoticity (they delete R's) largely died in the past twenty years. Simple Country Lawyer is non-rhotic. For example, in most Southern Englishes, the word "power" is pronounced as one syllable, like powr. In Simple Country Lawyer, it's pronounced pow-a.

It was way easier to explain this if I just recorded some of it, so here you go:

The thing is that most people who aren't conversant with that register do end up sounding like they're melting. Johnny absolutely has not escaped this. 7/10 for the accent, 20/10 for letting me talk about one of my favorite registers

So there are my opinions. We will see if they hold, but three hours is a shitload of data, so.