#and i think they poured the water into it 😭 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jenoutof10 · 10 months ago

Text

how it feels when soph posts

wherever you are, wherever you may be — i. rin

soulmates (name au) + "i'm done waiting."

synopsis. itoshi rin meets you under a sky full of fireworks. he spends the next 6 years of his life trying to convince himself that he doesn't love you. you spend the next 6 years giving him every reason why he should.

wc. 12.4k (i need to close my eyes and sleep for a while)

notes. huge thank you to ellie (@hyomagiri) and mari (@saetoshi) for helping me with this 🥹 this fic actually put me through it and i'm so grateful to both of them for their support 💗

�� for my beloved @ode2rin 💐 | event masterlist ✉️

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2024

Every year on the seventh day of the seventh month, Itoshi Rin finds himself standing at the daunting entrance to his local shrine.

The tradition is completely beneath him—something childish that he grumbles about under his breath despite letting you drag him all the way out here with soft eyes watching your smile.

Tanabata is the festival of stars. Of love.

It is a story his mother used to whisper to him as they watched the night sky in awe, pretending that the galaxy was collapsing in on itself to allow for a romantic midnight rendezvous between two lovers.

It’s something far too sappy for his liking.

But the food is okay, he supposes, and it’s a good opportunity to get out of the house and spend time with you which he seldom has time to do now that he’s back in his training season.

There were too many things about it that he loathed: the screaming children that would bump into his legs; the way his ears would stay ringing for days after the festival ended; how you could always convince him to come as if you were some sort of hypnotic devil in disguise, and how thoroughly wounded his pride would be at that fact.

However, his least favourite part of the festival by far is writing down his wish for the year on a scrap piece of paper and hanging it around a bamboo tree. One, because he can never for the life of him think of anything meaningful to wish for. And two, because he isn’t sure he even believes in that sort of thing.

Rin is struggling again this year, pencil lightly scratching his temple as he thinks.

He’s painfully aware that he’s never put so much thought into this before, but you seemed so excited to come all the way here before heading to the festivities that he couldn’t possibly let you down.

His wish dawns on him then, something he wants to do before the next time he makes the climb all the way back up here 365 days from now.

“Hey,” your voice calls out quietly. “What did you wish for?”

“What did you wish for?” Rin quickly refutes.

You cast your narrowed eyes from the side, tilting your little slip of yellow paper away from him.

“Only if I get to see yours first.”

Normally, he would give in to you right away. His resolve when it comes to you is embarrassingly weak. But there’s no way for him to explain himself. No way he could show you the words he’s written lest he hurt his ego.

He stubbornly folds up the piece of paper and shoves your face away. All you do is laugh and he feels terribly warm.

“No peeking,” he tells you when you kiss across his fingertips.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2018

A name appeared for Itoshi Rin when he turned thirteen years old.

He remembers the day well—it was hard to forget, anyway. As much as he wanted to focus on the burning of the name etching its way down his skin, he couldn’t. Not when he was blinking snow out of his lashes and watching his brother’s retreating back.

Rin likes to think that the universe fucks with him in any way that it can.

Maybe he had done something terrible in his past life and this was its karmic retribution, or maybe he was just unlucky.

What he does know is this: the name on his pinky only reminds him of all the things he ever lost.

Every syllable struck needles into his heart—a painful memory of crawling after the tracks of the wheels Sae left behind with his luggage until gravel and ice were stuck under his nails. Or worse, the clawing of his throat as they sat across from each other at dinner—the way he didn't even smile when Rin announced to his parents that his soulmate mark had appeared while his mother cried out in joy.

In fact, Sae didn’t talk to him for the rest of his visit. He remembers that hurt the most.

The name had haunted him for all the remaining years of his life—a forced memory that he wished he could forget. There came with it a feeling of loneliness that crushed him despite the proof on his pinky that there was another soul wandering the earth that would fix him.

He refused to believe it.

Only revenge would fix him. Only proving himself better would heal the cracks in his heart. Only beating Sae. Sae, Sae, Sae. His brother’s name had been repeated so many times that it was easy to ignore the other burning his skin.

In all those years he found it easy to cast aside his soulmate. To ignore it even if it hurt.

So he wonders why it’s so bad tonight.

He’s done everything he could think of: slathering cooling ointment down his finger to stop the searing, wrapping it in a cast to prevent himself from admiring it for too long, even tying a wish to a piece of bamboo hoping it would disappear.

A finger snaps in front of his face, drawing his attention to his teammates in front of him. Both look equally amused.

“You’re dreaming,” Isagi muses. “You’ve been spacing out all night. Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine,” Rin mutters, swatting his teammate’s hand away from him. He had been staring again, longingly eyeing the way the letters danced down his skin. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

“None of your business.”

“Yeesh, it’s not good to keep things bottled up, you know?”

“You’re annoying,” Rin glowers before it melts back into indifference. “I’m fine,” he reiterates.

Isagi seems unconvinced, as he usually is when Rin is being mysteriously vague about what’s on his mind. He and Bachira share a tentative glance before sighing and shaking their heads.

“Well… okay,” he finally yields. “We’re going to get some snacks before the fireworks start. If you’re going to sulk then at least stay put and do it here so we can find you again.”

“Yeah,” Rin grumbles, already making an escape plan. “Whatever. Will do.”

As soon as the boys are out of sight, he turns heel and hurries away. The crowd is driving him crazy and he needs somewhere quiet so he can stare at his hands until his eyes are dry.

He comes to a pond situated just outside of the festival grounds, deep water glimmering under the moon and the passing lanterns.

Plopping down on the bench, he hunches over onto his knees with his elbows and takes a deep breath. It instead comes shallow, as if someone has just punched him in the gut.

It’s then that he realizes he’s not alone.

Your yukata is muddy, fabric soaked and dripping at the sleeves though you don’t seem to care or even notice. You look frustrated for some reason, lip curled into a concentrated frown while you plunge your hands into the mud around the edge of the water.

Away from the crowds of people, he can hear the summer song of cicadas chirping all around. Your hands dip in and out of the water, quiet splashes filling the rest of the silence on top of the distant buzz of children laughing.

It’s just you and him. Something primal inside of him rages, pounding against his chest until it feels like he’s suffocating.

Run. Run. Run.

His legs jerk, urging him to stand up and leave, but he feels glued down to the bench—tethered where he sits and forced to watch you repeatedly sink your hands into the muddy waters.

No more than five minutes must pass as you both ignore each other, yet it feels like an eternity stretches by.

Finally, you pipe up.

“You’re scaring them,” you tell him plainly.

His head whips in your direction at your voice, soft and careful. His teal eyes narrow at you. “Huh?”

Your frown deepens, turning to look at him with your hands still submerged. “The frogs.”

“Come again?”

“Your vibes. It’s scaring the frogs away.”

His eye twitches.

“Ever consider that you’re just dogshit at catching them?”

“Excuse me?”

“And look at you, making a total mess of yourself. Don’t you care that you have to go home looking like that?” He presses, leering at you like an insect he’s about to crush under his heel. You simply stare at him, expression blank.

Huffing, you tear away from him and sink your hands beneath the mud. “No. I don’t.”

He watches in silence as you sift around for a moment before pulling your hands up, a smile slowly morphing into your face.

“I got one…” You breathe, looking more elated than he thinks you should. “I really caught one.”

“First time?” He quips sarcastically. A part of him wonders why he hasn’t gotten up and left you altogether yet.

“Cut me some slack,” you complain, eyeing him from the side again. You gently run a finger along the back of the frog, trying not to scare it away. “I haven’t done this in forever.”

“Clearly.”

You snort. “Yeah. Clearly.”

Rin looks at you quizzically, puzzled at your sudden change in demeanor. You seem… softer. Less agitated, at the very least. You’re gazing at the frog adoringly, as if it had somehow solved all of your problems and was dragging you into another world.

Any retort he had ready to shoot at you dies in his mouth. The anger rising in his chest extinguishes in the blink of an eye, and a deep hush settles over you as he watches in curiosity.

For a moment, the universe goes quiet. He’s gotten so used to having everything on his mind all at once that the silence is almost unnerving.

He once believed that his world would end with an injury that never healed quite right, or when he was too old for any team to want him.

He once believed that his world would end when he could no longer imagine the feel of a ball between his palms.

He once believed that his world would end the day he couldn’t play football anymore—that the only thing that would ever kill him was if the chance of standing alongside his brother died with him.

But he was wrong.

Itoshi Rin’s world ends with the bellow of a firework.

In a few years, he would think of this stretch of a few seconds fondly. He would squeeze you a little tighter with his chin resting on your shoulder, staring up at a colourful sky. He would think it was poetic, in a way, that you were the one who painted his world in the same hues of shimmering gold.

Rin remembers, though, that only one thought had crossed his mind.

I’m so screwed.

He can see every fine detail of your face, illuminated in all the colours of the rainbow. And he can’t help but think you are the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. He can trace each intricate curve of your nose to your chin to the surprised parting of your lips; the way your lashes flutter as you blink rapidly, tensed from the sudden explosion.

The light fades faster than it appeared, yet it feels like a millennium has passed. The reverbing echo of the firework crackles across the sky, thundering in his ears so loud that he can feel it pounding in his chest.

(Or is that his heart? He can’t tell. He feels dizzy.)

Darkness envelops your bodies again, save for the dim glow of distant lanterns. Every part of you is seared into his memory, a floating image when he blinks.

The frog leaps from your hands back into the water, leaving nothing but ripples behind.

You stay there with your hands outstretched, looking lonely under the dark sky. Another one goes off above your heads, signalling the start of the display.

“There you are, Rin!” Bachira and Isagi come rushing over from the path, excited smiles and mirth bubbling in their laughs as they approach. “We thought you went home without us already!”

Rin slowly blinks out of his reverie. For a second, he glances in your direction again just to catch your eyes.

“I almost did,” he grumbles, forcing himself not to stare.

“Fireworks are starting!” Isagi yanks Rin to his feet and begins dragging him away before he can even protest.

Without turning around, he can feel the weight of your eyes in the back of his head. There’s an unfamiliar ache in his chest, and the name etched down his pinky burns infinitely hot.

Later at home, he stares at the spot where Sae used to sit back when he still came to Japan for anything other than to take a new passport photo.

“My soulmate’s name showed up,” he had mumbled that night to break the tense silence. It was strange that he still felt like he owed his brother that much—to make his visit as normal as possible despite having his heart carved open.

Sae only looked at him blankly, spoon halting just above his bowl. He was eerily still, quietly deciding how to react. Then,

“Good for you,” he said. And nothing more.

Rin squeezes his eyes shut and he feels warmth rolling down his cheeks. He quickly wipes the tears away, pretending as if they never existed.

He spends the rest of the night trying to forget your face.

(And the next year trying to recreate it in his dreams.)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2019

Rin makes it another 275 days before he finally remembers every piece of the puzzle that is your existence.

He saw you in his sleep. The back of your head, anyway.

You were sitting in his favourite café, at the table he claimed for himself right by the window. You ordered a coffee but let it sit for so long that the ice melted. Then, you wiped up the condensation rolling down the frosty glass with your finger.

Rin watched you from afar, observing you the way he wished he did last summer.

Maybe then he could have dived deep into the recesses of his brain to remember why exactly you struck him so. But there he was, stuck watching the back of your head as you gazed out the window.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Your fingers drummed mindlessly against the wooden table, reciting a rhythm just slightly louder than the pounding of his own heart.

“Can you leave me alone?” He finally called out, hoping it would stop your incessant beating.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“You’re annoying me,” he hissed. Annoying for disturbing his peace and quiet. Annoying for plaguing his dreams even after all these days.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Seriously,” he grunted, standing up from his seat so fast that the chair scraped horribly against the wooden floor. Still, you didn’t pay him any mind, instead more interested in the faceless people walking by. “Knock it off!”

Tap.

He bit the inside of his cheek in hesitation, the itch in the back of his mind ever present. “What’s your name?”

Silence.

You finally turned his way. Slowly. Agonizingly slow. And Rin was right—you were still so beautiful, 275 days later.

Grinning at him big and bright, you almost seemed to collapse in on yourself with joy. Like a star about to implode, or maybe more akin to a firework.

Either way, his breath was stolen from him.

You silently mouthed your name, making sure he saw every vowel and accentuated syllable. Warmth flooded him in every way—probably brought on by the racing of his heart.

It was impossible that his soulmate was someone like this. Someone whose smile looked like it could heal even the deepest wounds.

You grabbed his attention again with a big wave of the arms, and he watched in anticipation.

“You’re—”

Rin followed your mouth as you sounded out the words without a voice.

“—smiling!”

He reached up to run his fingers along his bottom lip. And you were right, he realized, as he traced it midway up his cheek.

(When did he start smiling?)

(Why?)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Rin thinks about you just as much in the waking world as he does in his dreams.

It’s spring, though snow is still settled over the eaves of homes that he passes on the way to the grocery store. Apparently the winter cold is supposed to be especially long and bitter this year, permeating until mid-May.

He stares at his feet as they mark the virgin snow, decorating his sneakers white and making his feet cold.

Did you walk through the same snow this morning?

Then, when he’s going through the motion of smelling the bottom of pineapples at the store:

Do you like pineapple? What if you’re allergic?

(He shakes his head and puts them away. He suddenly isn’t craving it.)

His obsession with you has only intensified as the year has gone on. If you ever peered into his mind, he would receive a well-deserved slap across the face.

The soulmate mark engraved down his pinky has never bothered him so badly.

It’s like you’re constantly with him—a ghost haunting him, or perhaps more like a curse. Thinking about you takes up unnecessary space in his head. Space that should be dedicated to football, and football only.

He's about to go home so he can make a list outlining the ways he can forget about you.

(Ironic, he knows, but in all honesty he already exhausted all of his options from his first list.)

But then he comes to a stop outside of his favourite café. It looks the same, even has the same advertisements plastered in the window as the last time he was here.

He hesitates at the door, but when he walks in it smells the same. It's decorated the same. Not a single table is out of place.

He walks up to his regular spot, runs his fingers along the wood where he remembers you tapping in his dream.

There's no sign of your existence here.

Rin shakes his head in annoyance, cursing himself out in his head because he was stupid enough to think he would run into you here.

Then disappointment floods his body, like a dam had been released in his chest and it's flowing unstoppably to every piece of him.

(Wait, why is he disappointed? He really needs to take a nap.)

He runs his hand through his hair as a nervous reflex, simultaneously relieved and irritated that you're nowhere to be seen.

It takes him a minute to recollect himself, to realize that he probably looks like a crazy person just standing beside an empty table like a lost child who doesn't know where to go, and decides to just go home.

He pulls into the line to get a drink for his walk home when—

"Thanks!"

His heart drops.

You waltz out of the back, tying your apron around your waist as you exchange spots in the break room with one of your coworkers.

Rin is about to die, seriously. You must be new here, since he's been to this café more times than he can count and he's never seen you before. Or was it that he was specifically looking out for you this time?

Whatever the reason, he's dumbfounded.

“Hey,” your acknowledgment makes him freeze in his spot. “Frog guy?”

He looks at you stupidly, rubbing his eyes like a cartoon character as if he’s imagining you standing right in front of him.

His gaze drifts down to your name tag, fresh and newly printed with white marker. Signed at the end is a little flower, petals swirled into tiny hearts.

Your existence before him is undeniable.

"Um. Yeah," he sputters in disbelief.

"I..." You clear your throat, looking as bewildered as he feels. "I didn't think I'd see you again."

'You're my soulmate. Of course we'd run into each other,' he thinks to himself. Out loud, though:

"Yeah. Me neither."

The person behind him in line coughs quietly, impatiently tapping their foot. Rin takes the hint and quietly tells you what he wants. You lean in across the counter to hear him better, and his face grows warm.

Once you fill in the boxes on the cup, you place it down and move it to the side for someone to fill. It catches his eye immediately.

Itoshi Rin is scribbled neatly down the side of his cup.

“How did you...?”

You awkwardly shift in your spot, evidently embarrassed as you fiddle with the strings of your apron. Then, with your own hands.

“W-Well…”

His eyes dare to drop down to where your thumb is nervously slathering up and down the name on your pinky.

“Oh.”

"Sorry, I just figured—"

"It's fine," he interrupts. Your mouth snaps shut.

Tense silence stretches thin in the air, ready to shatter at any moment. But for some reason, he feels as though he's choking on nothing.

You fumble over the emptiness, quickly snatching up the cup to make his drink yourself after deciding it's too awkward to just stand there.

He watches you in a daze, half shaken and half in awe. Never in a million years would he have thought a dream would lead him back to you.

When you turn back around with a full cup, you look equally stunned.

“Itoshi—”

“Rin. It’s just Rin.”

You look at him in surprise, lashes fluttering rapidly as you let it sink in.

It's not your fault. You don't know that it's a sore spot that he just so happens to share the same last name with the person he despises most in the world.

It's not your fault that he has a quick temper and his voice raises slightly, enough to make you flinch back just a tiny bit.

And it's definitely not your fault that it stings so much—that he had expected you to speak to him as if you'd already known him for a lifetime and not as if you were just two strangers looking at each other from across a bar counter.

“O-Okay," you take a deep breath, cheeks puffed out and expression unreadable.

You slide the cup across the counter and he catches it in his hand.

He debates whether or not he should say more, like apologize for snapping at you. But then someone calls you by your name, and the way it rolls so beautifully off their tongue catches him off guard.

"Sorry. See you, Rin," you smile sweetly. Maybe a little awkwardly, a small step toward the one he dreamed about. And his heart is set in motion.

Rin decides that today won't be the day.

Another day, he'll be brave enough to crack a joke so dry that you try and scrub his name off your skin. And another day, he will ask for your number because, yeah, you might be the most alluring person he's ever met.

As he turns to take his leave after just staring at the spot you were standing in for a solid few seconds, he can hear some of the other baristas clamouring for you.

He doesn't want to look. Really, honestly, he doesn't.

But he does anyway.

It's just a quick glance over his shoulder—nothing more than a fleeting moment as he takes the chance to look at you one more time.

Those two seconds is all it takes for him to realize just how much trouble he's in.

You're laughing big and toothy, waving your hand in front of your face dismissively as your coworkers poke fun at how flustered you are. Then your hands are clasped over your stomach and you've doubled down a little in your awkward fit.

His heart has never beat so loud in his own ears.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Itoshi Rin used to smile just for the sake of smiling, once upon a time.

He had aunties who would pinch him by the cheek and fawn over him, cooing about how he looked just like his mother. How his face would cherub and the apples of his cheeks were bright red. Even when he grew out of his baby face, people would tell him how wonderful his smile was.

Sae rarely ever smiled, so it was something exclusive. He never felt like he was standing in his shadow. It was special—the kind of praise only one Itoshi would know.

Rin has forgotten how to smile like that.

He smiles to be polite to his family, if ever. Even then, it's not like he owes them that much. At some point, it became too much effort. And he had no reason to do it.

It was always a tiny thought bothering him in the back of his mind:

I'll never meet my soulmate if I'm always scowling like this.

He thought that was what he wanted, anyway. He wouldn't need to worry about running into his soulmate if no one ever looked his way. If everyone feared him enough not to spare him a second glance.

He doubts everything he ever thought as he sits on the edge of his bed staring at his desk.

It's lit up by a single lamp, shining down on his empty coffee cup like a spotlight opened up by the heavens themselves.

Your phone number is written just below his name.

Rin had almost tossed it into the trash without a second thought earlier in the day. He would have, if it weren't for the loose dog that blitzed by him and made him drop it.

Fate just loves to mess with him.

He picked it up and his thumb had stopped over the number. It was written so small, as if you had wanted him to miss it. Or perhaps you wanted to test destiny yourself—to see if the planets would align and he would discover your seven digits there for him to find.

And now he's home. He's been home, just looking. Contemplating. Stressing.

He migrates from the edge of the bed and settles into his desk chair. Then he gets up, moves back to the bed, and flops down. An endless cycle, back and forth, pushing and pulling.

Rin plops down onto his desk seat and sighs in frustration, ruffling his hair around before his forehead slams into the table.

Every part of his mind screams at him to stop. To toss the cup away and forget today ever happened. His head raises from his arms and he stares at the set of numbers illuminated on the paper, taunting him.

Finally, he exhales through his nose, sitting up straight and reaching for the cup to toss. His fingers delicately brush along your phone number.

“So dumb…” He huffs, eventually finding his phone instead and opening his contacts.

It’s nearly midnight. He tries to imagine your face as you wait by your phone for a message from him, that stupidly hopeful glimmer in your eyes, and he feels sick to his stomach as he sends it.

Rin: hey. it’s rin.

He throws his phone down on the desk again, screen down so he can’t cringe at himself. A few minutes pass in complete silence as he sulks.

He considers that you may have gone to bed already, or you were offended by the fact that he ignored your offer to connect all day and instantly blocked him. Maybe you thought he never saw your number at all.

Then his phone buzzes. His body moves on autopilot, snatching it up faster than he can realize what he’s doing. He’s halfway through the embarrassing thought that he just immediately read your message after you sent it as your text sinks in.

Unknown: hi! it’s great to hear from you ヾ(〃^∇^)ﾉ

Unknown: i was starting to think you were never gonna text lol

Rin: i wasn’t

He chews his lip for a moment before quickly following up:

Rin: but i changed my mind. just cause.

Unknown: hahaha got it got it. ‘just cause’ (˘◡˘)

Unknown: rin

Unknown: wait nvm

Unknown: whatever

Unknown: rin

Rin: what

Unknown: let’s get coffee ^ ^

He stares at the screen in disbelief, watching the typing bubble pop up and disappear again and again. He can imagine again what kind of smile you must have on your face right now, or maybe you look flustered, or maybe this all means nothing to you at all and this is your way of being polite.

Regardless of the reason, he eventually types out his response.

Rin: ok

Christ, he’s so tepid.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2020

He comes to memorize every part of you, like how the sun kisses the horizon and the moon knows the tides.

Intimately, almost—if he didn’t overthink the way your touch lingered on him he could easily ignore the way it made his heart pound in his ears.

Rin learns the feeling of your fingers against his skin as you compress an ice pack to his knee. He knows your laugh—can pick apart sarcasm from genuine cheer unlike most other people he encounters. He’s never been good at reading people yet for some reason you’ve become an open book for him.

It’s not fair that you’ve ensnared him this way, that he can’t seem to run from you (because his favourite coffee is from your café and he can’t be bothered to find a new place). That he finds himself instinctively reaching over to his phone when he can’t sleep (he has to make sure his alarms are on, might as well text you goodnight while he’s at it). And you’ve become annoyingly comfortable (he doesn’t have an excuse for this one—your lap is just conveniently a very nice place to rest his head).

He must be an open book, too.

At some point he probably stopped trying to hide his growing feelings for you, though you either didn’t notice his sudden shift or you didn’t care.

Vulnerability has never been a part of Rin, even before Itoshi Sae ruined his life.

He despises how you so easily pry him apart, skinning him alive with your hand lathering down his chest as you laugh.

Still, he’s grown accustomed to your fingers stringing through his hair, to the way your head tilts when he explains football plays to you, to the obvious way you fluster when he attempts (poorly) at flirting with you.

He’s gotten especially fond of the way you meet him at the end of his practices with such sweet, wandering hands—pushing the hair stuck to his forehead from sweat away from his eyes; using a towel to wipe up his neck; the squeeze you give his palms as you examine them to see if there are any new cuts and bruises.

Usually, he’s the epitome of confidence in his plays. Today, however, his cheeks burn as you approach him with the same honeyed smile.

“My shots were shoddy,” he admits before you can even get a word out. You only raise a brow, hands faltering in front of you. “That was lame.”

“I think you’re good.”

“Good,” he frowns. “But not great?”

“The greatest,” you quickly correct yourself, smiling at his cravings for praise. You’re armed with a fresh towel like you always are, reaching up to clean his face as if it’s the only thing you were born to do.

He relishes in your gentle touch, peering at you through his lashes while you prattle on about how amazing he was even though he missed half of his shots.

You were so blindly supportive, it sickens him.

Not because he felt you were being disingenuous, but because he’s not deserving of your praise.

For the first time in a long time, it feels as though his soul is disconnected from his body. He used to walk the earth this way—uninterested in his surroundings and obsessed with only one thing.

Itoshi Sae. Itoshi Sae. Itoshi Sae.

Suddenly, he’s thirteen again and gasping for air; screaming into his pillow and trashing their shared awards until his mother comes rushing in to stop him. He’s alone in a field, abandoned and crushed.

It’s not like he’d never lost before, even in front of you. Loss was just a part of football as much as he hated it.

But your praise only makes his stomach turn, because he knows you mean it.

You truly do believe he’s the best, when really he’s been futile in his attempts to catch up with the big brother he admired so much as a kid.

“Stop,” he gently interrupts.

Rin tries to use his hair to hide the wetness of his eyes, with little success. You can see right through him, unfortunately. It’s a talent he wishes you didn’t have.

“Rin?” You say softly, reaching up to brush the hair out of the way. He doesn’t try and back up or swat your hand away, instead letting you see his miserable expression. You sigh quietly, looking more exasperated than surprised.

“Sorry,” he mutters halfheartedly.

You shake your head. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Shame boils in his stomach at your reassurance. There is something to apologize for. Here you are, supporting him with all your heart, and all he can think about is his stupid brother. How he’ll never catch up. How he’ll never be good enough.

Doesn’t your kindness warrant his attention at the very least?

“Come on,” you tug at his hand. “Let’s get you a pick-me-up.”

Rin abides silently, body following yours off the field and onto the streets though his mind has floated off elsewhere.

He tries to count how many steps you take in between the field and the destination, but loses count somewhere around three hundred. Then he moves on to counting the hairs on the back of your head. He loses count at one hundred. Eventually, he gives up and opts for staring at your conjoined hands while he lags behind.

When you come to a halt, he nearly bumps into your back.

The ringing in his ears stops as he blinks at his surroundings. Waves crash against the shore of the sandbank, singing the song of the ocean. It had been so long since Rin walked down this stretch of the shore, he almost forgot what the sea looked like.

“Wait here,” you urge as you hold him by the shoulders then disappear around the corner.

He collapses at the wall separating land from sea, swinging his legs under the railings to sit comfortably as he remembers doing when he was a kid. His gym bag is abandoned behind him, cleats and all.

When you return, you shove a popsicle into his hand.

He’s confused at first, just looking absently at the packaging. It must be for a concerning amount of time, because you eventually pipe up.

“Do you need me to open it for you?”

Rin glares at you and your teasing smile. Carefully, he unpackages the treat and pops it in his mouth.

Sweetness melts over his tongue and he exhales sharply through his nose. You watch him in amusement with your own treat stuck in your mouth.

Silence engulfs you, eating Rin from the inside out until he feels ill. He holds his half-eaten popsicle in front of him, watching it melt down his hand.

You stare at him for a second before nudging him lightly with your elbow.

“I was being serious. You were really good. I can’t even imagine playing like you do.”

Rin’s stomach turns. The last thing he wants is your pity.

“You don’t have to be so nice,” he mumbles, resting his chin on the railing. “42 percent.”

“42 percent?” You echo, peering over the railing to get a better look at his face.

“The percent of shots I made today.”

“Come on,” you urge gently. “Aren’t you being too hard on yourself?”

“If I’m not hard on myself, I’ll never—” he stops, choking lightly on his spit. When you don’t interrupt, he shoves the popsicle back in his mouth. “Whatever. You wouldn't get it.”

It’s quiet again, save for the crashing of waves upon rock. Rin thinks for a moment that maybe he had gone too far, or that his little meltdown had freaked you out.

But when he finally dares to look at you again, you’re smiling.

“Maybe not,” you admit with a whisper. “But I do know this…” You reach over and cup his cheek with your free hand, thumb sweeping the expanse of his cheek soothingly. “There is no one—and I mean no one—who works harder than you do.”

He swallows thickly, subconsciously nudging his face a little further into your palm.

“You deserve to be a little kinder to yourself.”

The way his heart catches in his throat is strange. He can’t describe it. The warmth in his belly is foreign, but it’s pleasant.

For the first time in the year he’s gotten to know you, the thought crosses his mind:

I think I’m in love with you.

Rin’s mouth opens with the idea, but he forces it shut just as fast.

Fear grips his lungs and squeezes, stealing his air and forcing him to pull away from your touch.

“Okay,” he breathes in resignation.

You seem stunned by his sudden retreat, smile faltering ever so slightly. But you recover quickly, hugging yourself as you slouch over the railing.

Conversation moves on just like that. He appreciated that about you, too. He never had to dwell.

It feels nice, everything about this; to have his legs dangling over the edge of the cement, feet barely ghosting over the surface of the water; to have a popsicle melting between his teeth while he listens to you talk.

For some reason, it feels as though he’s reclaiming lost time, reliving a moment he thought he would never have again.

When he checks his popsicle stick, it tells him he’s a winner for the first time since he was thirteen.

(He finally allows himself to believe it when your knee gently knocks into his.)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2021

“Frog cotton candy?”

“Frog shaped cotton candy,” Rin corrects, peering around the giant fluff of candy to look at you quizzically.

“Yeah,” you giggle. “But why?”

He grumbles quietly, cheeks a soft shade of pink as he shoves the treat into your hands.

“I thought you’d like it. Nevermind,” he deadpans, turning around to toss it into the garbage.

Your laugh crescendos and he feels his heart squeeze with affection. When your hand stops him by the forearm, he thinks he might explode.

“It’s cute.”

You pick apart the floss ruthlessly with your fingers, and he watches almost in a trance—hypnotized by just your existence.

(When you finally pop the sugar into your mouth, he imagines it melting on his own tongue. The thought makes him unbearably warm and he forces it away.)

His fascination with you doesn't end there.

There's a certain charm to you that he can't understand—something that draws him in, tantalizing but terrifying at the same time.

He can't help the way he watches in a daze, the way you've ensnared all his attention and taken up the space in his mind.

Rin has never been good at being kind, but here he is.

Here he is, bringing you cotton candy because he thought it was stupid but cute.

Here he is, rolling up the sleeves of your yukata with a gentle scolding when you rush over to catch goldfish.

And here he is, letting you cling to his arm as if he's the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.

He really, really hates it—how mushy you make his brain feel.

He's halfway through re-rolling your sleeves with a half-hearted scowl on his face when you stop him, hand pressed to his forearm.

“Listen, Rin.”

“Hm?” He leans down so that he can peer at your face hidden behind your almost nonexistent candy floss.

“I have to show you something.”

Rin stops dead in his tracks, raising a brow as he fully turns toward you. “What is it?”

“Can you close your eyes for me?”

His heart does a somersault in his chest. “You’re not doing anything weird, are you?”

“Who do you think I am?” You sputter.

He lets out a long sigh before complying, squeezing his eyes shut. After a long silence, he considers peeking a little bit.

That is, until he feels your breath gently fanning over his parted lips.

Nearly leaping back, he wills himself to stay grounded and slowly slides his hands up your arms until he gets to your shoulders. As he imagined, your body is impossibly close to his.

It takes every bit of concentration he has not to waver. If he really tries, he can focus on how your breath smells sweet of candy. How your hair blows softly with the summer breeze, tickling his cheeks. How you smell. How you breathe.

(Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His heart is about to beat out of his chest. Is that okay?)

You tense up in his hold and suddenly you’re retreating from him, swiftly pulling out of his arms. Just as he’s about to ask you what happened, there’s a piece of candy shoved into his mouth.

“You wanted to try it, didn’t you?” You ask rather breathlessly. He opens his eyes, looking at you curiously.

Rin has never seen this expression on you before, lips pulled tight in embarrassment and pupils blown. You look more like a wild animal caught in a cage than someone who just made a move on him.

He gingerly takes the empty paper cone from your hands and folds it up, no longer able to meet your gaze lest he explode on the spot.

“Yeah,” he says softly, shuffling over to dump it into a bin. “Thanks.”

When he turns around to look at you again, his breath gets caught in his throat.

Why are you laughing?

You giggle into your palm, hiding your gleeful smile from him as you double over slightly.

“Your face is all red!” You holler.

He grunts in embarrassment, using the back of his hand to hide his own face. “Shut the hell up,” he spits.

“It’s almost like you wanted me to kiss you!”

“Oh my god, please drop it.”

“No way! I’ve never seen you look like that before!”

(‘Speak for yourself,’ he thinks.)

“So what if I did?”

Your laughter halts as if it was swallowed into the pits of your stomach. Slowly unraveling to stand up straight, he sees another expression he’s never been able to imagine on you, but he can’t quite place it.

“Did what?” You murmur.

“Want you to kiss me.”

Your face is warm under the glow of lanterns, eyes shimmering with the overhead lights. Rin watches your mouth open and close repeatedly as you try and formulate some sort of response.

A firework explodes atop of you, and he wonders if it just saved you.

You seem jarred for only a moment more until you jolt, grabbing him roughly by the arm and giving him a pull.

“I just remembered,” you gasp. “I actually did have something to show you!”

Rin doesn’t get a word in before you’re dragging him along by the arm. With each boom of an explosion, your footsteps pick up, building into a full blown sprint out of the festival grounds and through the thicket.

You tug him along, guiding him by the hand through the winding path of trees and logs. His stamina is better than yours but you’re pushing up the hill despite your huffing and puffing—it makes him laugh with you.

When you break free of the forest, Rin’s eyes focus on a field of plush grass and buttercups.

You let go of his hand, flinging yourself forward and spinning on your heel to exaggerate how wide the opening is with your arms.

“Isn’t it great?” You shout over the fireworks. “Away from the crowd!”

He rushes up to you so that you can stop yelling, invading your personal space until you can hear him just at his normal volume.

“It’s perfect,” he tells you earnestly.

You grin up at him widely before pulling him along to the edge of the clearing. You plop down together, eyes glued to the sky as the fireworks rage on.

Rin only lasts a few seconds before his eyes drift to the side, trying to drink in your expression. It’s become a habit of his to try and imprint your very existence into his brain.

Against his better judgment, his hand creeps toward yours until your fingers are overlapped.

Thankfully, you don’t use the opportunity to tease him about it, instead shifting a little closer until you’re practically burrowed into his side. If it were anyone else, he would have shoved them away.

(When did he stop trying to push you away?)

When your pinkies slowly close together, he feels as if he can’t breathe properly.

Mark-to-mark, it’s as though he is full of all the love he’s ever felt for you from every life—past or future. Like there’s a love that exists within him that transcends lifetimes, if it were even possible.

If he were to peer into another dimension, would you still be together like this? Would you be plucking buttercups and mindlessly twirling them between your fingers? Would he be itching to envelop you in his arms just to devour you?

His thoughts cease when you take a deep breath.

“I used to come here alone,” you admit.

“No one took you?” He asks. Your gaze is piercing the night sky, never leaving the show. He can see the bloom of colours in them.

“Not since I was little, but I always loved it here.”

The question burns hot in Rin’s mind: even if it was a little lonely sometimes?

He remembers back to the night that he first saw you, with your hands dipping into the murky waters of a frog pond and an air of desolation surrounding you. Then he remembers how he couldn’t sleep that night. Not with the image of you crouching there alone burned into his memory.

“Did you know this festival is a celebration of love?” He suddenly asks.

Oh what the fuck? Oh, god. Why did he say that?

That was so lukewarm of him. So stupid. So pointless and lame.

He just wanted something to say to you, something that would make him stop thinking about how you might have been alone for all that time before you knew him.

The silence burns between you, tense and awkward until he starts stuttering out something else to fill the void. But then you look at him, slow and intrigued and so damn amused that he can feel heat rising to the tips of his ears.

“I had no idea.”

There’s a longing in your expression that tells a different story. A twitch of your pinky against his that gives away your blatant lie.

And, damnit. Here he is again, four years later under the same stars. Under the same fireworks. Only this time, he’s able to see your face even closer as it lights up a million different colours—teal like his eyes; rose like his cheeks; golden like the heart he’s tried so hard to protect.

Four years later and he still thinks you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen: pinkies interlocked, sheepish smile on your face, an undeniable shake in your voice that means you have more that you’re too nervous to say.

For a moment he considers finally letting go of all the things keeping him bolted and chained where he stands, swallowing the key to the cage surrounding his fragile, thumping heart. And for that fleeting second, he feels as though he’s the bravest man alive—that nothing could stop him even if you were to turn away and snub him out with the heel of your foot.

But how could he open his mouth and tell you anything when all he feels is the sick twisting of his stomach, the daunting glare of the older brother he adored so much, and the coldness of snow soaking his clothes as he sits in a field and cries?

There’s a burning, raging fire within him. Something primal and afraid and unchanging despite how much he wants to fall into your arms the way your shared etchings say he should.

It screams at him: run away. Run. Run. Run. This will only end in hurt.

He’s too fucked up. Too messed in the head and too quick to anger because he’s actually soft at heart, easy to betray—

“Rin.”

Your hand swiftly captures his face and he’s dragged unceremoniously out of his reverie.

Of course you would be able to pick out his turmoil by expression alone. By the droop of his lips into a frown—not the annoyed one he would flash his teammates, or the grimace he would scare children away with. The kind that’s sad and slow and timid, like an animal caught in a net.

“I’m really happy that we’re friends.”

“Friends?” He breathes, half confused and half incredulous.

Deep down he knows that it’s an attempt to comfort him without being too sappy. Maybe you can sense it somewhere in your soul that he would probably break down and sob if you were to make him feel any more vulnerable than he already is with you. It’s an effort to take away whatever guilt he feels and give him a chance to relax.

However, he can see a different tale in your eyes.

Loneliness as empty as the sky on a cloudy night. A yearning for more, for someone, for him, to fill the gap. I’m tired of waiting. That’s all he can read beneath the sea of colour exploding in your irises.

It only makes him feel worse, but he allows himself to be lied to anyway if only to feel the warmth of your skin against his just a bit longer.

“Yeah.”

Your pinky twitches again. He can feel the brush of your name against his, the grate of your matching soul marks. Your eyes tear away from his and are glued to the infinite sky above once more. To the stars you know are there but are covered by smoke and fire.

Rin only stares at you. He can’t focus on the explosions of fireworks anymore, not when you’re right in front of him looking so perfect. His summer treasure.

“Yeah?”

He knows he sounds dumb, repeating everything like an oaf who can’t fathom what’s being said. You giggle and it floors him.

“Just being able to stand here with you—” you glance at him again, only for a second. He can see the exhaustion in that moment, but he’s too selfish to pry. “—I think I’m the luckiest person alive.”

“Even if…” He swallows harshly. It feels like shrapnel cutting down his throat. “Even if I can’t be more?”

“Even so.”

There’s a pause and you open your mouth to say more, maybe to give him an ultimatum or to elaborate on your feelings, but then you’re interrupted by the end of the display.

Counteless fireworks explode above you in the finale. Rin can hear the awestruck gasps of families down the hill, the distant cries of children and the faint shutter of cameras filling the air.

He realizes then: he’s been smiling. His cheeks hurt from how big it’s gotten. And you’re smiling at him, too.

(The fireworks rage on, but in the end, all he can look at is you.)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2022

Falling in love with Itoshi Rin was one of the most foolish, most wonderful things that could have happened to you.

He was an enigma in and of itself, a mystery of a soulmate who was able to love you wholeheartedly and push you away at the same time.

There were nights where you would stay up wondering why he was your soulmate when it seemed like all he wanted to be was alone. Other times, you fell asleep smiling to yourself knowing that somewhere deep down you both belonged to each other.

The universe chose you. The universe chose him. It was indisputable, yet you still had doubts.

Tonight is one of those “foolish” nights. It seems as though you have been stood up.

For three hours you’ve waited in the same spot at the gates of the festival, watching families and couples pass by but never the one person you’d wait until the end of the world for. The sun has long since gone to sleep over the horizon and the streets are fully lit up with lanterns for the festivities.

6 pm. That was the time Rin promised he would meet you. In the past, he was always late but at least had the decency to tell you beforehand that you could go ahead without him. Only when you arrived and sat down to wait for him had he finally messaged you.

Rin: gonna be late. see you at 7.

7 pm. That was the rescheduled time. It was when you expected to see him walking up to you in his yukata that you begged him to wear this year, matching adoringly with yours. And at 7 pm you would tell him. You would tell him everything.

For months prior you had practiced almost pathetically so, recited and perfected your speech while staring at your reflection in a mirror. You’d written him a letter, too.

7 pm. You were finally going to thank Rin for everything. For accompanying you to such a silly festival even though you know he loathes it. For meeting you under the stars and the moon and the fireworks time and time again. For bringing life back into a childhood memory that you had long since hated.

7 pm. You were going to tell him thank you. You were going to tell him you loved him, just as it had been written in the stars many years before you were born.

It’s 9 pm, nearing 10 and the start of the fireworks show. He missed the entire night without explanation.

At 9:58 pm, just as you’re about to give up all hope, you finally come face to face with teal eyes and a stupidly handsome face sheen with sweat. It shouldn’t hurt so much, the way he looks at you so dismissively as if he hadn’t blown you off all night.

“Sorry,” he mutters disingenuously, attempting to brush past you without a second thought. “Let’s go, I’m thirsty.”

He has his gym bag slung over his shoulder and a windbreaker over his uniform. No sign of the yukata you had picked out for him to wear.

You don’t follow him, staring at his back in disbelief. When he realizes you aren’t trailing behind, he turns on his heel and raises a brow in question. “Are you coming?”

“I was waiting for you all night,” you tell him coldly. I was waiting for you all this time and you never showed up.

He swallows thickly, suddenly overcome by guilt because of your downcast expression. “I know. I lost track of time.”

“Lost track of time?” You scoff incredulously. Your mouth opens as if you have more to say, but you’re interrupted by a bang.

Rin’s eyes flutter closed. He can’t listen to this. He can’t watch.

He knows this all too well. He knew it all along.

The universe was wrong. Itoshi Rin was never cut out to be someone’s soulmate.

“We’re missing it…”

Your back is turned to him but all he can imagine is the terrible expression you must be making right now, twisted in sadness and anger. The worse image is a completely blank face—unfeeling and cold. He doesn’t even want to think about it.

Booms echo in the distance yet all he can focus on is the faint hum in his ears, the horrible churning in his stomach and the fog of guilt clouding his head.

“I’m sorry,” he says so quietly that he’s sure you can’t even hear him under the deep, bellowing explosions over the horizon.

He doesn’t remember the last time he apologized for anything like this. Being cold and aloof was just in his nature. Never before had he felt like it was necessary to be remorseful for the way he is—for how he was made to be.

The slight tremble of your shoulders and the way you use the back of your sleeves to wipe tears from your eyes force the words out of him before he can stop it. He tells you again,

“I’m sorry.”

He weakly attempts to grab you by the arms, holding you from behind so he can make you look at him. You jerk away fast as lightning, knocking him away as you swivel around to glare.

“Why didn’t you come?” You demand. There’s anger shaking in your voice. Rin doesn’t know how to respond to it, not when you’ve always been so understanding and kind. Perhaps he was too cruel for you if he was going to break you this way.

“I got caught up with—”

“With football, right?” You laugh bitterly, taking a generous step back. Hurt pours from every inch of your expression and all it does is make his heart ache.

“Stop,” he suddenly snaps. You flinch at his tone and shrink back, only adding to his guilt. He always had the worst temper. “Don’t be like this. You know it was important,” he explains, gentler this time. Softer, trying to coax you back over.

There’s a beat of complete silence, save for the hollowed explosions in the distance. Rin blinks at you a couple times before his frayed nerves finally calm again. And then he realizes something terrible.

The look in your eyes, the deflation of your shoulders—this is what utter defeat looks like. For a moment deja vu rushes through his blood, bringing him back to a time when he too felt as miserable as you.

Every year he’s had the opportunity to read your expression: I’m tired of waiting. But he always foolishly assumed you would still wait around for him forever. That your patience would be as infinite as the stars in the sky. That just because he had the privilege of having his name scrawled down your pinky, he would be guaranteed to have you.

It was disgustingly selfish.

Just as he opens his mouth to apologize again, you storm up to him and shove the piece of paper roughly into his chest. With the closed gap, he can clearly see the tears streaming down your face illuminated by warm lanterns.

“Just forget it.”

“Wait—” He catches your wrist as you push past him, stopping you in your tracks again despite your struggle to get away. “Come on, I said I’m sorry!”

“Rin,” you sniffle, voice breaking with just the syllable of his name. It makes him falter. “I’m tired.”

“But—”

“You can’t even spare me one night? Just this one night in the entire year?” You breathe, no longer trying to dance around the subject. “What is it with you? What are you so afraid of?”

Being put in the spotlight never bothered Rin before. It was easy enough to ignore when all his life he was watched carefully. But it’s different with you; you’re the only one looking at him in this moment yet it feels like the weight of a million pairs of eyes at once.

An answer comes quickly to his mind, almost natural. He knows exactly what’s wrong with him.

He’s afraid of being left behind again. Of being hurt. Rin is terrified of love and being loved because he’s too pathetically fragile.

The pieces of his heart are clumsily glued together and he’s scared that even the smallest turbulence would send it shattering into a billion shards again. He doesn’t know how to put himself back together properly anymore.

Itoshi Sae permanently fucked him up.

Though they were on slightly better terms now, the scars would always haunt him. The simple solution is to shut everyone else out, to protect the weak heart he harbours.

If he told you that, would you understand? Or would you try and claw his name off your skin?

You take his silence as an answer and pry away from him again, holding yourself protectively—guarding yourself from the catastrophe that follows Rin wherever he goes.

“Goodbye, Rin.”

He doesn’t watch you go.

The nearest bench becomes his temporary home. He could do hundreds of plays in a football game and never tire, but for some reason your disdain has sucked every ounce of energy from his body.

It doesn’t register that he’s still holding the paper you forced into his hands until it crinkles in his hold. He slowly unfolds it revealing ink sloppily smeared across the page.

And then he reads it. Again. And again. And again, until it’s shaking in his hold. Until the dull ache in his heart feels like the pierce of a knife.

Rin doesn’t know what to do anymore. He’s always had one clear goal for his entire life, but now everything is all muddled. Messy, like everything else he touches.

He turns everything into a disaster.

Does he chase after you and risk having his fragile heart broken all over again? Does he risk being left behind or does he close off the gate for that option entirely? He could sit in his cowardice and never change, preserving his heart forever in this moment of time; a polaroid in the slideshow of his mortality.

There’s a familiarity to this all. Perhaps he had lived through this decision a million lives before this. Maybe he would live through it again an infinite amount of times, so long as it was your name etched into his skin.

Was he as messed up in this life as he was in every other?

If he had ruined everything in this life, if he made the wrong choice and drove you away in hatred until you drew your last breath, then maybe he could make it all up to you in the next one.

Or, if that were the case, maybe he was born into this world only to love you—to make up for the millenia where he ran away.

Rin’s legs have never moved so fast. Not in football. Not even from his brother. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel then he would keep chasing you forever, he thinks. Until his wounded heart gave out.

Of all the stupid decisions he’s made in his life, have any of them amounted to anything? He’s going to give it one last try. One more chance to prove to himself that not everything he touches burns to ashes.

“Wait!”

You visibly startle, eyes wide as you turn to see Rin dashing toward you. He doesn’t give you even a moment to ask questions, to wonder why he’s coming back to break your heart again.

You’re engulfed in a hug faster than you can blink, stumbling back from the force of his body colliding with yours until your sandals get kicked off your feet.

“Rin?” You murmur his name in disbelief, breathless even though you weren’t the one sprinting down the road.

“Just give me one more chance,” he stammers out. You can feel the rapid rise and fall of his shoulders as he holds you and fights for air simultaneously. Your hands twitch at your sides but you remain lifeless in his arms.

He tries again: “Let me prove it to you. Let me prove that it wasn’t some freak accident that led me to you. That my name on your skin is meant to be there.”

“Don’t do this,” you tell him quietly, lips brushing against his ear as you speak. “I don’t want to be loved and feared at the same time.”

“But…” Rin squeezes your body against his, almost desperately. Clinging to what he has ruined. “For once in my life, I want something more.”

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

You hesitantly shift, hands slowly trailing up his back until your body is curling against his. He can trace the outline of your body against his, like a puzzle piece that he was missing slotted perfectly in his grasp.

“I thought my soulmate would only slow me down and break me. I was wrong. I know that now.”

He slowly rocks your bodies back and forth. You pull away until your eyes meet his, red with tears. It’s the messiest he has ever seen you, but his heart refuses to be still. It aches.

Beautiful. It’s the only word he can describe you with. It didn’t matter if you were lit up under the wondrous sky, or handing him coffee in a crowded café, or sobbing in his arms.

You would only ever be his infinitely beautiful soulmate.

It’s the only constant he would have in this life and every other, even if you were to break his heart. It would be the single greatest achievement in his time, above football, above any of his petty competitions—that your name is etched down his pinky.

It scares him. It thrills him.

With the distant roar of fireworks, he kisses you. And you allow him, hiccuping against his lips as you cry.

You stay like that for a long time, listening to the hollow shockwaves of fireworks exploding miles away. He’s the first to draw back, raking in shallow breaths. You chase him, finding solace against his lips once more but not fully indulging him with another kiss.

“Do you fear me?” You whisper into his mouth.

“More than anything,” he tells you.

“Do you love me?”

After a moment of contemplation, he answers,

“More than anything.”

You nod slowly, awkwardly pulling away from him and taking a step back. It’s your first kiss and you don’t know where you’re supposed to look anymore. Rin stops your nervous shifting with his hand swooping under your chin.

“One year. I promise.” You look at him in confusion, so he continues. “Next year, when the season and my contract are over, I’ll meet you there. At the pond.”

You seem skeptical still, with your brows knitted together and a lost haze in your eyes. He raises his pinky, the one with your name forever grafted into the skin, and offers it to you.

“I pinky promise.”

It’s so ridiculous, wearing his heart on his sleeve with something he learned about on playgrounds when he was a child. A pinky promise shouldn’t mean any more than the words he has already spoken. But for some reason, your eyes light up.

He feels nothing but relief when your pinkies lock together.

“Okay,” you breathe.

“You’ll wait for me?”

“Rin.” His name leaves you in a breathless laugh that makes his world spin. It sounds so tired yet so sweet. “I’ve been waiting all my life.”

“I��m sorry,” he says once more for good measure. You nod. A wordless acceptance.

Itoshi Rin is your soulmate. It’s not like that fact will ever change no matter the time, no matter the distance.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2023

Fate is a funny thing. Soulmates are a funny thing.

The universe threw Rin curveball after curveball, beating him down until he was nothing but a husk heavenly built for one purpose only: beat Sae. Beat Itoshi Sae.

There were times when he would lay awake at night wondering why he was given this life, why he was thrust into hardship and hurt and betrayal. How could something so perfect, something so all-knowing, be so cruel?

For as long as the name had been grafted into his skin, he resented the idea of a soulmate.

He hated the idea that only one person in the world would be his eternal weakness. That one day, one person would hold every piece of his soul in their hands. Even then, his soulmate was the other half of him—his salvation. His downfall.

They would know every inch of his skin. Every bleeding wound of his heart. Every bruise and scar along his legs from cleats and nails and gravel. Having a soulmate meant having every part of him exposed, to be judged and worshiped at the same time.

At your hands, though, he’s certain this is what he was born for—to spend the rest of his days by your side even if you were doing something as mundane as catching frogs together.

“You’re scaring them,” you hiss quietly.

Your fingers sink into the pond and Rin watches your reflections ripple as water fills your palms. Your faces contort and meld into one being. In some ways, it’s a familiar feeling—to have been intertwined with you since his very conception.

“You’re terrible at this.”

“It’s your fault!”

“Right,” he deadpans. “You haven’t caught a single one all night.”

“You were late,” you remind him with a huff, cheeks inflated. “Before you got here I was catching frogs all night. Coincidence?”

Rin makes another noise, something akin to a snort. But he doesn’t acknowledge your statement, instead reaching over to gingerly roll the sleeves of your yukata up to your elbows.

“Are you always so sloppy? Your sleeves are getting all wet.”

You glare at him from the side, delivering a deadly warning. “Are you always such a pain in the ass?”

“I get it, I get it. I said I was sorry for being late. Nii-chan really wanted to try that new ice cream place downtown.”

Your gaze drifts to him in the shimmering reflection, watching his smile soften at the mention of his big brother. It was wonderful that they were trying to patch things up.

Sae had decided to come home after all, promising Rin that they would play together again once they both took a well deserved break.

You could tell that Rin was trying his best not to make a big deal out of it, but the way he cried into your shoulder later that night said it all.

“I feel bad having you come all the way out here just to see me. Your brother is back in Japan isn’t he?”

“Yeah. And he wants to meet you.”

You nearly fall over. “What?”

“Please don’t look so starstruck about that. I feel sick.”

Laughing, you recentre yourself, sitting back on your heels with your hands on your knees. “Sorry, sorry! It’s not that…”

Rin raises a brow. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“It’s just—” you fumble, cheeks burning hot at the idea of being introduced to Rin’s family after all these years. Formally, as his partner. His soulmate. The name they had all known since he was thirteen. “What would I even say to him?”

He looks at you in bewilderment. Then, he snickers, only laughing harder when you smack his arm.

“Don’t worry about that,” he assures, reaching out to pat the top of your head. “Just be yourself. My family will love you.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, studying your reflections in the water with a soft smile. You’re staring right back at yourself, but Rin is only looking at you.

“I haven’t done anything special.”

“You lit up my world,” you laugh, turning back up to look at him properly. You make a mini explosion with your hands. “Boom! Like that. A firework.”

“You’re too corny,” he murmurs in embarrassment, turning his head away to hide his flushed face. “Can’t you explain it like a normal person?”

“No can do,” you tell him, voice gentler this time. After a pause, you shuffle your sandals around in the mud and take a deep breath. “If you want me to be totally serious…”

You lunge over and tackle him into your arms. He nearly loses his balance holding the both of you upright, stumbling back on his heels before he catches your waist. You don’t seem to share the sentiment of staying pristine, knees digging into the dirt as you squeeze him tighter.

Rin feels his heart catch in his throat the same way you’ve made it for the last six years.

“Thank you. For letting me love you. For being my soulmate.”

His hand is automatically in your hair, scratching your scalp as he smiles into your shoulder.

“I’m sure I gave you nothing but a hard time,” he grumbles.

“But I still love you.”

“Even though you had to wait?”

“Even so.”

“And that I’m a pain in the ass?”

“Even then, I do.”

Rin burrows himself into your neck, hiding his face again. It does a poor job at masking the kind of expression he’s making, though, considering how warm his skin is.

“What if I’m not good enough?”

He feels terrible—guilty that he needs to keep having this conversation with you. But you always comfort him the same way. He hopes you always will.

Drawing his head up with your muddy hands, you dirty his cheeks just to get a glimpse of him. You murmur a half-hearted sorry for making a mess.

Then you’re kissing him.

“I’ll be here to remind you how much I cherish you.”

You nip his bottom lip and he opens wider. You whisper into his mouth,

“And how happy I am that Itoshi Rin was born into this world.”

Itoshi Rin, broken. He who thought that he could never be put back together.

Itoshi Rin, vengeful. He who believed the only happiness that existed for him in this world was to surpass his brother.

Itoshi Rin, who did not believe in his soulmate while staring right at them. And Itoshi Rin, who finally allowed himself to love you wholly, completely, as it was written in the stars.

“I love you,” he says, as if just those three words could encapsulate everything he feels for you.

“Always?” You giggle. He rolls his eyes.

“Wherever you are, and wherever you may be, I will.”

You kiss him one more time for good measure.

“That was corny.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2024

“No peeking.”

Rin folds up his piece of paper and hangs it from the bamboo tree. You’re tugging him along before he can even properly check to see if it’s been secured.

“Come on, I don’t want to miss the fireworks!”

He wouldn’t miss them for the world. You’ve always looked the most beautiful under the brightened summer sky.

The wish he scribbled down blows softly in the breeze as both of you rush by, back to the festival where it all began.

7 July 2024. I wish I had the words to tell you how much I love you.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

extra notes. hi! if you made it this far, i'd like to give you the warmest most grateful thank you ever ( ´ ω `)

so, here it is. i've been working on this since last september-ish... for some people that amount of time is not much, but genuinely, i've never devoted so much attention and time to one single fic and i hope i did this one justice. rin has always been a guilty pleasure of mine to write for. i hope this man stays far far away from me until i can stomach even looking at his name again LOL ‾́ ◡ ‾́

also i finally admitted defeat and took out all my pictures and dividers because tumblr was fighting my posts that had any. so... sorry the formatting looks like this

additional tags: @jenoutof10 @hanrinz @itoshiexx lol hi guys it made it out of the drafts i hope you like it

#releasing this on 7/7... definitely a move...#GULPS. thank you... for saving me... i was so thirsty...#🤤#feels like diving into a cool body of water on an excruciatingly hot day... bless you soph...#thank you mimi for choosing this prompt thank you soph for bringing it to life thank you to your parents for bringing you to life #his brother issues basically sabotaging his love life... HELP THIS MAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#thanks for always including the brother's relationship and them healing... im bowing at ur feet. atp u shd direct bllk.#ill always fall for the 'emotionally stunted man finally opens and pours his heart out to the one that's always been waiting for him' trope #mm mm mm #i think ive said this before but ill say it again... ur fics feel like watching a movie... so cinematic... 🤤#what a read! esp first thing in the morning 😌😌 thanks for tagging me #congratulatory digital slap on the back for finally finishing this and being set free. salute. thank u for ur service soldier.#i hope u sleep well i hope u eat the best food i hope you win the lottery i hope u get a promotion i hope u live the best life #ily... singlehandedly saved the blue lock and rin fandom...#itoshi rin x reader #blue lock x reader

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seokminfilm · 26 days ago

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crybaby 🤍 lee seokmin

🤍 pairing, lee seokmin x reader

🤍 warnings, idol au, very short, hurt/comfort, established relationship, boyfriend seokmin, crybaby seokmin, seokmin calls reader lovie, kissing, reader calls seokmin baby boy, lowkey just really soft

🤍 summary, caratland made your soft boyfriend cry, and you did your best to comfort him without crying too.

🤍 author's note, been obsessed with caratland 2025 recently and this seokmin is one of my favorites 😭 the fluffy hat and outfit is everything LMAO also seokmin's just such a pretty crier 😞 makes me want to cry just looking at his watery eyes and reddened nose and squishy frown and UGH i'm tweaking out. gonna pour out my heart and soul into this just watch

🤍 now playing, if you leave me (seventeen)

🤍 word count, 502 | for @kstrucknet, @maestro-net

"it's okay to cry seokmin. you didn't look stupid at all." smiling at your boyfriend's wet face, you cup your palm under his cheek, wiping the tears away with your thumb.

seokmin had just come backstage from finishing the second day of caratland, and you had expected him to cry at the end─you were tearing up yourself, especially with the way all of the members were so soft with wonwoo, realizing that their time with him was coming to an end.

seokmin was one of the more uncontrollable criers of seventeen, and he proved it even now; tears were dripping down his sharp jawline as he quietly sobbed to himself, lips downturned into the meltiest frown you think you had ever seen.

"lovie, i'm sorry, i really am sorry, i─" seokmin's apologizing for the third time in the past twenty minutes, and you shake your head, moving closer to your boyfriend as you cradle him towards your chest. he clings onto your shirt like he has nothing left, and your heart melts a little more, pressing a kiss to his scalp as you sigh.

"are you crying because you're going to miss wonwoo, baby boy?" you ask softly, and seokmin nods, head still on your chest as he sniffles.

"i honestly don't know why i'm crying anymore." seokmin lifts his head up from your chest, adjusting his hat as he sighs, looking down at his hands as he plays with his team ring.

"that's okay too. you know what i think?" you inquire quietly, and seokmin looks at you, big brown eyes glossy as he shakes his head.

"i think you're crying because you miss jeonghan, you're gonna miss wonwoo, and you just love carat so much, you can't help but give them everything." you take seokmin's hand in your own, tracing his knuckles as seokmin falters a bit, eyes watering again as he nods.

"am i right?" you question, and seokmin nods again, hand going to his eyes as he gently wipes away the tears, trying to be careful of his makeup. "mhm...i think you're right, lovie."

"what should i do? i don't know if i can go on without them." seokmin sighs, and you know who he's referring to; jeonghan and wonwoo. if you were being honest, you didn't know if you could go without them either. since they were seokmin's best friends, they were yours too.

"you can go on without them, seokmin. i know you can─even though you don't want to, you're a strong person. you'll hold on for them, and they can trust you with their positions while they're gone. you'll be the man in the gap while they're absent." you pat seokmin's thigh, pressing a kiss to his tear-stained cheek as he nods.

"i will. i'll do it for carat." seokmin whispers softly, leaning his head on your shoulder as you squeeze his thigh reassuringly.

"that's my baby boy." you smile softly, pressing a kiss to seokmin's forehead as he sniffles once more, finally calming down.

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estrellogy · 11 months ago

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Astro Notes Pt. 2

- IN DEFENSE OF LIBRAS. I often hear people say that Libras are pick-mes, but that’s only the underdeveloped ones. I think Libras do get along with the opposite sex really well. The mature ones genuinely connect with the other side because they’re a good balance of both masculine and feminine energies.

- However, I do see SOME Libra men take advantage of this ability and be quite promiscuous. Libra SUN in particular since it comes so naturally to them. Libra Venus men, on the other side, prefer to be monogamous and just pour all their romantic energy into one person. If they have grounding placements like Venus/Saturn positive aspects or earth placements, they’re definitely the type to look for THE ONE™️

- Scorpio and Capricorn placements humor is so under appreciated. People often see these placements as intense alpha males who never show emotions like they’re just 😐. Mfs have perfected dry humor and comedic timing.

- Aries Sun have an easier time maturing than Aries Moon. Since the Moon is such a primal and sensitive place for Aries to be in, the impulsive side of Aries is amplified. Meanwhile, Aries Suns can channel its aggressive fire energy more consciously.

- Leo Suns with 12th house moons can create a lot of internal conflicts. The natural inclination to shine versus the need to completely hide your nature and be intensely introspective.

- Mars in 6th house people really benefit from incorporating exercise into your routine. Everyone does, but Mars in 6th house people in particular can accumulate a lot of stress and tensions so they need to move their bodies often to avoid burn out (speaking from personal experience 😭)

- Scorpio placements are lusted after, but CANCER placements are often desired both physically and emotionally. People want to have a taste of Scorpio placements but often become overwhelmed by their intense nature. Cancers, on the other hand, seem more gentle even though they’re equally insane intense. That’s why Scorpio is often associated with seductresses/siren archetype while Cancer is the “wife”/divine feminine.

- Again, Cancer placements are underrated because the moon energy seems more familiar compared to the mysterious and ethereal nature of outer planets like Neptune and Pluto. But the moon quite literally controls water and has the most direct impact (night vs day) on the actual functions of Earth. Plus, the moon is also a symbol of mystique, beauty, and literally the ‘dark side of the moon’ as a metaphor for human psyche. I can do a whole post about why Cancer placements are really the beauty indicator/archetype in astrology if you guys want 😭

Thank you for reading! Let me know if you guys enjoy these notes and I’ll do more 🤍

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inkivaari · 19 days ago

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Ok... but here me out thragg...🫦

Smth that been in my brain is how he tells the viltrumites to go and mate with the humans and gets upset when they start to fall in love with them

Now thraggs not the type to fall in love persay however I think the man is the type to be come obsessed with you and well your cunt 😭

Serving your planet by stopping an genocidal alien conqueror/emperor by simply letting him fuck his baby in you 😭

Also works for conquest but thragg 🫦

Anyway good morning!

a/n: oh anon.... oh ANON......... okay okay let's think about this for a while, tbh idk about thragg, i can't unsee the freddie mercury memes but it's okay- disclaimers: sexual content, dubcon, f! reader, overstimulation, pregnancy

thragg doesn't love you. doesn't love any of the keepsakes he's taken from other planets, and leaves to lounge around his palace until he chooses to mate with them. but it was clear who his favourite was. he'd go on rampages when he couldn't find you in the concubine's chambers, bellowing your name through the halls as he resorted to following your scent, that creamy sweet aroma that haunts his waking and sleeping.

he finds you wherever you are, in the gardens, in the pool, on the roof, wherever his vixen of a wife wants to hide, pins your hips down without a word and devours your little pussy, not caring when you sob with overstimulation and your sweet clit begins to sting when he sucks on it mercilessly. he's not even thinking about your pleasure, this is entirely selfish: if he goes too long without your cunt in his mouth, he'll drive himself mad.

he isn't stopping until you physically cannot give him anything further, until all he can taste in your pussy is his own desperate spit. and that's when he takes you.

even the sight of that pussy has him snarling, the scent has him panting, the taste brings all his blood thrumming and rushing to his huge veiny cock. he doesn't care if you don't produce young at the same rate as his other wives of different species. this cunt is a diamond among lumps of coal. a glass of fine wine beside puddle water. he isn't just pussywhipped, that would be putting it lightly. i wasn't lying when i said you haunt him. it's only his iron discipline and all-consuming ambition for the empire's expansion that can rip him away from you most days.

your cunt was the only one he used for business AND pleasure. it was a foreign concept until he'd got you. breeding was an exchange. a woman exchanged her people for her womb. but you? well, he had a feeling you would have given him ownership over your body even if he hadn't given you the ultimatum. which made his heart thrum with cruel desire.

breaking you was a delight, and he could do it over and over again and never get bored! you would take it over and over again, making those sounds that bounced around his head and echoed in his meditation night after night. he never cared all that much if his wives enjoyed copulation or not. but you? it fed parts of him he didn't know were starving, when you begged him for more, to go deeper, harder, to cum inside you, please, you'd been so good...

when you became pregnant, which didn't take very long, he became protective. he knew his other wives were jealous of the attention he poured freely onto you, so he'd have you moved into his chambers full time, under constant surveillance, under lock and key and armed guard. it was for the safety of his heir inside your womb, which is what he told himself. but a part of him wanted to keep you all to himself, to watch your precious body develop under his seed's influence, for your cunt to sweeten with each passing day, for you to be lying in his bed patiently awaiting his arrival, warm and naked and all for him...

it wasn't love. it was not. but it stung of something sadistically similar to you.

#invincible #invincible smut #grand regent thragg #invincible thragg #thragg x reader #thragg x you #thragg smut #i <3 pussywhipped older men #even when they're genocidal aliens

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senseichaos · 1 year ago

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hi hi! That one-shot you did with Alastor broadcasting his and reader's..."love-making" was rather delicious but I can't help but think of you know..aftercare. It was quite rough and I'd love to see Alastor being sweet and sorta guilty for going so roughly cause we both know...reader was bleeding after😭😭😭

Yess I love writing aftercare and when I saw this I was immediately wanting to write it ! Thank you

"Pathetic" But still a princess,

Summary: Alastor roughed you up quite badly in your last.. fornication session.. so as to make it a more happy evening he gives you some very much needed aftercare! (Part 2 to "Pathetic")

Genre: Fluff, romance, slight sexual undertones

Warnings: Swearing, blood, Alastor is kinda bipolar considering how much more soft he acts in this compared to the last part, love confessions, lmk if I missed any

NOT EDITED NOR PROOFREAD (YET)

______

Alastor carries you the entire way to his room, not wanting to rough up your brain by teleporting to his room. And oddly he sort of enjoyed the intimacy of it all. It's weird, Alastor is never really one to enjoy intimacy, but this odd time he feels nice giving you this comfort.

As he enters his room, he makes sure to lock the door behind him so no one comes in whilst he bathes you, and with a smile to you walks to his suite. The suite isn't the largest but it's big enough that when he places you on the side of the bath he can walk around you with ease.

"Alastor I think I'm bleeding," You say, looking at some scratches on your thigh as Alastor takes off his overcoat and folds it neatly. He gives you a soft look, placing his coat to the side.

"Well of course you are darling! My fawn had to learn her lesson somehow, hm?" Alastor says with a small chuckle, squatting down (his knees clicking as he does so) to turn on the water of the bath. You roll your eyes, fiddling with the fabric of your shirt as you contemplate taking it off.

"Take off your shirt, dear, it's nothing I haven't seen before," Alastor commands with a rather teasing tone, arranging the correct soap to put inside of your bath. You nod, pulling off your shirt and bra, discarding them onto the floor next to the bath. You almost cover yourself, but understand if you did Alastor would probably tell you off.

After the bath fills a bit Alastor taps the side of the bath, capturing your attention.

"You can get in now, fawn. It should be warm enough," He says, and you give him a small nod. Rather awkwardly with your pained thighs you manage to crawl yourself into the bath, Alastor does end up helping you a bit when you almost faceplant into the water, shifting you so you sit with a weirdly empathetic look for him.

"Now let's not fall on our face, shall we. I'd rather not have you more injured than you are already,"

You giggle, leaning up and squishing his cheek playfully.

"Awe you care about me, that's new," you say, and he takes your hand off of his face with a stern look.

"I wouldn't call it 'new', you just haven't seen it yet," He says, and you give him a confused look as he starts pouring some bubble soap into the bath.

"What haven't I seen?"

He laughs, shaking his head as he begins mixing in the soap with his hand.

"Me caring about you, silly doe," He chuckles, ruffling your hair with his wet hand. This causes you to shake the water off and give him an annoyed look.

"Give me an example,"

He looks up for a moment, thinking of an instance where he's shown care for you.

"Well, how about earlier today when I told you not to drink the tea because it was hot?" He asks, turning the water pressure on the hot water slightly higher. You roll your eyes, pulling your aching knees to your chest as the water around you rises.

"Oh so what, the bare minimum.. how caring of you Alastor,"

"Now don't get pissy with me, dear. I was only giving you an example of my caring for you," He chuckles, giving your nose a soft boop as he continues mixing the water. You notice his sleeve is dangerously close to the water, so you push his hand from the water slowly.

"Careful, you're gonna get your sleeves wet," You say, and Alastor smiles slightly wider.

"Don't worry about it, my dear. It's nothing I can't handle," He says, his green magic surrounding his sleeves and rolling them up to just above his elbows. "You shouldn't have to worry about something so small as my sleeves,"

Your eyes go glossy with tears at the odd affection in his voice. It's something you've never heard from him before. Sure there's the empty compliments, the empty pecks, but this is different. It's as if he loves you.

"Do you really care about me, Alastor?"

Alastor furrows his brows, turning off the hot water tap as the bath is full enough with water. He leans over, pushing his hand against your cheek as he leans there.

"Of course I do, my dear," he pauses, looking into the distance for a moment as if contemplating. "And I do apologize for being so rough with you today, you had to learn your lesson somehow,"

You giggle, pushing his hand away and leaning against the back of the bath.

"It's okay Alastor, I liked it more than I'd like to admit,"

Alastor rolls his eyes at this, grabbing a sponge from the corner of the bath.

"Charming, my fawn," He says, putting his sponge into the water and squeezing it so the soapy water fills it. He begins to scrub you with it, staring with your face as he pushes your hair from your face, holding you there by it.

"Fuck you, as if you didn't enjoy it either!"

He laughs, scrubbing your nose as you scrunch your eyes.

"Well of course I did dear, I wouldn't have initiated it if I hadn't, hm?" Alastor hums, moving to scrub your other cheek. You sputter on a cough, your eyes squinting at the way he scrubs you. He just chuckles, scrubbing your chin and jaw.

"Do you really have to clean the entirety of me?" You ask, biting your lower lip as he tilts your head back by your hair. Alastor continues to scrub your chin, moving to the other side of your jaw.

"Well of course I do, a clean fawn is a happy fawn." He says, pinching your cheek and cooing in a sort of cute fashion. Rolling your eyes you attempt to splash water at him, only for the water to be caught up in his green magic and placed back into the water.

"Now don't try anything silly, fawn,"

You moan in annoyance, hissing when his sponge begins to scrub the raw skin on your neck from the collar he had you in. The skin is bruised and even as a couple cuts from the force he used. You wonder what he thinks about when he looks at the damage. Does he find it funny? Does it feed a possessiveness in him? Does he feel guilty?

"What do you think about when you see the marks on me?" You ask out of the blue, against your better judgement.

Much to your surprise, Alastor just tilts his head in acknowledgement before speaking.

"Hm, well I feel a tad proud, and I feel a tad guilty. But, I also feel like I want to eat you up!" He answers, ending his sentence in a teasing manor. But you don't miss the slight hunger in his eyes at the thought. You narrow your eyes, speaking: "Please don't,"

"Oh I wouldn't, dear. It's just a tad fun to think about," He says with a humor in his voice, and you can't help but laugh. Alastor moves his hand from your hair, placing it on your neck as he pushes your head back with his thumb.

"Bet you'd get your rocks off to it," You chuckle, biting on your cheek uncomfortably as Alastor scrubs the back of your neck. His eyes darken slightly, tilting your head down to get better access to the back of your neck.

"Don't tempt me, fawn," He says softly, pressing the spong to your collarbone to clean the slightly bruised area. Hissing in pain you flinch away from Alastor as his sponge brushes onto a cut. He gives you a sort of stern yet understanding look, reaching out for your arm to pull you closer to him again as soft as possible.

"Sorry my dear, it's going to hurt," Alastor apologizes, setting his hand back onto your neck so he can scrub your shoulders. Once again you hiss when the sponge hits a sensitive area of raw skin, but this time you stay put.

"You know I don't think it's fair that you get to sit outside of the bath.. how are you gonna clean my legs!" You ask, Alastor just humors you with a chuckle.

"Like this,"

He spins you around gently so your legs are hanging off the edge of the bath, dripping water down to the tiled flooring below. He takes a hold of your left ankle and begins scrubbing your foot, causing you to begin giggling at the way he scrubs the ticklish area.

"Ah! That tickles..!" You laugh, clasping your damp hands over your mouth as he continues scrubbing your foot. Alastor doesn't acknowledge you, instead going to scrub down your calf.

"I still think this is unfair, what if I want to clean you!"

"I had a bath this morning, no point in bathing again," He says with an obvious tone. You roll your eyes, looking up at the roof as he continues to clean your left leg.

"Can I at least wash you another time?"

"Maybe If you continue to be steadfast in no longer entering my studio unprompted, fawn," He answers, leaning over you as he finishes your left leg, beginning to clean your stomach.

"I'm bored.." You groan, leaning your head back into the splashback of the bath. Alastor narrows his eyes, and suddenly a tentacle with another sponge appears behind you, pushing you before beginning to clean your back.

"What a needy thing you are,". He says, causing you to huff out in displeasure. To your surprise he leans over you even more, even slightly towering over you as he cleans your breasts. It makes you blush, really. Having him tower over you like this in almost a lascivious manor whilst doing the most domestic of things. He's just cleaning you, for Christ sake!

"Alastor,"

"Hm?"

You wonder. Does he love you? You want to ask it so badly. When he towers over you like this and cleans every crevice of your body does his heart clench? Does his body feel warm? Does he get those butterflies that you do? You wonder.

"Do you love me?"

He stops moving, both him and his tentacle which had started cleaning your lower back.

His eyes reflect a myriad of emotions, many of which you can't even begin to fathom. He seems almost on edge. As if your question had sent him into his brain completely.

"I.. I think I might in my own.." he pauses, placing his pointer finger against his chin in thought. "Immoral ways,"

"Immoral?"

He continues to wash you, along with the tentacle, seeming to have gotten his point across enough to continue what he was doing.

"I'm not a moral demon, dear. When I think of you I want to devour you, but, I also want to hold you,"

Devour you?

"Well, I love you Alastor.."

"I love you too, fawn. Now let's get to cleaning your hair, shall we?"

You groan, pouting in annoyance at the thought of spending another 30 minutes in this bath. Though Alastor just laughs to himself, squeezing your cheek.

"How cute you are when you're all mad at me, hm?"

You stick out your tongue at him.

Normal, well as normal as you can be, once again.

#proship #senseichaos #antishippers dni #senseichaosdrabbles #proship fanfiction #alastor x reader #alastor x reader fluff #alastor hazbin #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor hazbin hotel #lovely anon #anon req #part 2

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amirasainz · 5 months ago

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Can you write a Yn Alonso story where George and her have a proper British tea party. Geroge tells Yn that she is now a true princess. .ame it fluff and cute 🙏😭❤️

Enjoy reading and send some requests!!!

-xoxo babygirl 💕

Unky Georgie

Three-year-old Yn Alonso, the tiniest bundle of joy in the paddock, bounced on her toes as she held onto her uncle George’s hand. Her rose-colored dress swayed with every step, layers of tulle billowing around her like the gown of a true princess. She gazed up at George, her eyes wide and filled with excitement. Uncle George, or “Unky Georgie,” as she liked to call him, had promised her something very special that day while her dad, was away at a meeting. Today, Yn was going to have her very first Princess Tea Party.

George knelt down to her level, smoothing out her dress a bit. "Alright, Princess Yn," he said in a very serious tone, his British accent making her giggle, "are you ready for your royal tea party?"

Yn gasped, nodding her head enthusiastically. "Yes, Unky Georgie! I'm ready!" She clutched a tiny pink purse to her side, her other hand wrapped around his fingers.

"Right this way, Your Royal Highness," George said, guiding her to a little setup he’d created just for her near the back of the paddock. He had found a small table with two chairs and had decorated it with a pink cloth, a little flower in a vase, and a selection of pastries piled high on a plate. In the middle, he’d set a small teapot with a delicate floral design and two matching cups.

Yn’s eyes sparkled as she took in the scene. "It’s so pretty!" she gasped, looking up at George with a mixture of admiration and disbelief. "Is this… is this really for me, Unky Georgie?"

George nodded, his face lit with a proud smile. "All for you, Princess. Only the best for royalty, of course."

He held out her chair, and she carefully climbed onto it, smoothing out her dress like she’d seen princesses do in her favorite storybooks. Once she was settled, George took the seat opposite her. He poured “berry tea”—actually a bit of berry-flavored water he’d prepared—into each cup, trying his best to look as dignified as possible.

Yn picked up her cup carefully with both hands, peeking over the rim to look at George. "Do I look like a real princess, Unky Georgie?"

George smiled warmly, nodding. "You look like the most real princess I’ve ever seen." He raised his cup as if to toast. "To Princess Yn, ruler of the paddock kingdom!"

She giggled, clinking her tiny cup against his. "To the paddock kingdom!" she repeated, trying to sound very grand. Then she took a sip, her face lighting up at the taste of the berry water.

George took a pretend sip as well, lifting his pinky finger dramatically. "Now, tell me, Princess Yn, what does a real princess do at a tea party?"

Yn thought for a moment, scrunching up her nose. "Princesses talk about their… about their kingdom!" she decided. "And about the animals and… and the fairies and… and the horses!"

"Ah, yes," George said, nodding along. "Do you have many fairies in your kingdom, Princess?"

Yn nodded, her face very serious. "Lots! And they’re all pink and blue and sparkly, and they love tea parties. And they sing songs to the horses so they can go super fast!"

George chuckled, absolutely charmed by her imagination. "Just like your papa and his car! Maybe the fairies help him go super fast too?"

Yn’s eyes lit up. "Yes! Papa has fairies too. And… and maybe you have fairies, Unky Georgie!"

George gasped in mock surprise. "You think so? Maybe that's why I’m so fast!"

Yn giggled and reached for a tiny pastry from the plate. It was almost too big for her little hands, but she managed, taking a small bite and grinning at the taste. "Mmm, this is my favorite," she declared with her mouth full, looking at George as if they were in on a big secret.

"I'm glad, Princess. We have to keep the royal princess well-fed, after all." George pretended to munch on one of the pastries, savoring it dramatically. "These are delicious! Fit for a queen."

Yn looked delighted, holding her little pastry like it was made of gold. She glanced around as if worried someone might interrupt their special party. "Do you think Papa will come soon?"

George took her little hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Don’t worry, Princess Yn. He'll be here soon. And when he sees you looking so beautiful in your princess dress, I bet he’ll be so happy he might even want to join the tea party."

Yn’s eyes widened at the thought. "You think so? Papa will be a prince with us?"

"Absolutely," George replied confidently. "And you know what? He might even want to be your knight, protecting the kingdom."

Yn looked at him with all the wonder of a little girl who thought her papa was already the greatest knight in the world. "Papa would be the best knight!"

Just then, a familiar voice called from nearby. "What's going on here?" Fernando had returned from his meeting, and the sight before him nearly stopped him in his tracks. There was his daughter, perched like a little princess in her rose-colored dress, holding court over a tea party with her “Unky Georgie.”

Fernando’s heart melted instantly. He walked over, a soft smile spreading across his face as he took in the joy radiating from Yn’s face.

"Papá!" Yn squealed, jumping up and running to him, her arms open wide. Fernando scooped her up into a big hug, her tiny fingers clutching his neck. "Look, Papá! I’m a real princess now!" she declared, pulling back to show him her dress.

Fernando looked at George with a soft chuckle, his eyes full of gratitude. "A real princess, huh?" he asked, looking back at Yn with admiration. "Did Uncle Georgie make you a princess today?"

Yn nodded with pride. "Yes! And we had tea and pastries, and he said I have a kingdom with fairies!"

"That sounds wonderful, mi amor," Fernando murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I’m so happy you had fun."

George stood up, giving Fernando a mock bow. "Well, I was merely following orders from Her Royal Highness."

Fernando laughed, shaking his head. "Thank you, George. This was… perfect." He looked back at Yn, his face full of love. "You know, Princess, if you need a knight, your papa is always ready for the job."

Yn’s face lit up, and she reached for Fernando’s hand. "Can we all have tea together? All of us, Papá?"

"Of course," Fernando said with a smile, taking a seat beside her and picking up one of the tiny tea cups. "For my princess, I’ll do anything."

George grinned, raising his cup again. "To Princess Yn, ruler of all the fairies and horses in the paddock kingdom."

Yn raised her cup with a giggle. "And to Papá, my best knight ever!"

As they sipped their “tea” together, Yn looked up at her father and uncle, feeling like the happiest princess in the world. And for Fernando, seeing his little girl so full of joy made him feel like the luckiest dad in the world.

#formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #xoxo babygirl 💋#fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso x alonso!reader #fernando alonso x daughter!reader #george russell x reader #dad!fernando alonso #alonso!reader #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #max verstappen x reader

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laufeysvalentine · 17 days ago

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enough to let you go, remus lupin

so for once in my life, let me get what i want

remus lupin x fem!reader | masterlist

summary ༄ remus x fem!reader -- something's up with remus, but he won't tell you what.

reader wears a skirt and has a job where they could be making more money if they moved?? (idk just go with it 😭😭)

word count ༄ 4.1k

nora’s notes ༄ trying out a different writing style again this time haha, played a lottt more w themes which was fun but i think the pacing was off bc of that. if you have any feedback lmk!

“Hello, my love,” Lily coos at her son as she trots into the dining room, whisking him from his high chair. “Hello to you, too, darling.”

“G’morning, Lily.” You accept her kiss on your cheek, turning to watch her flip a pancake on the stove. Though you’ve just entered uninvited and chosen to linger awkwardly in their kitchen doorway, at the Potters, you’re always welcome. At least, that’s what they always tell you. And with your and your boyfriend’s flat so close to them–four floors down and five doors over, as you’ve memorized–you end up popping in a lot.

“So? What’s going on with you today? Are you and the boyfriend going to be around?” Flop. Another pancake lands on the plate, followed by a neat pat of butter and a pool of maple syrup.

“Mmm, nothing much. We’ll be here. I have some work to be done, as always,” you sigh, leaning your elbows onto the counter. It’s cluttered with papers and such, but you make room. You always do.

“Well, Harry’s got a playdate at four. It’s a kids’ concert at the park, but you’re welcome to come. I think Sirius might, though I haven’t a clue what he’ll do there.” She shrugs, Harry on one hip.

“That would be lovely. I’ll have to see.” You acknowledge her with a hum, grabbing one of the open magazines on their table and flipping through it. Their house is always so lovely, smelling of baking and buttermilk yellow, with kids’ toys littered across the floor and photos of all kinds strung up on the walls. Of just James and Lily from their Hogwarts days, in muggle photo booths with lipstick smudged all over his face, of your whole group, crammed into one shot and frozen. This is your favorite shot: Remus’ arm has found its way to your shoulders, your face is kiss-happy, and you’re both grinning at the camera like he’d just proposed. And a shot of the Potters’ engagement, of course. You can see the tears glossing over James’ eyes, the excitement that rouges Lily’s sleek face, then her white dress, her ring, her altar.

“Tea?” She asks, back still turned toward the stove.

“Yes, please.” You watch her pour some water–already boiling, like she knew.

She passes a mug to you, dark gray. “Careful. It’s still hot.”

Before you get the chance to thank her, a voice booms in from the doorway. “Are those my wife’s famous pancakes I smell?”

Harry melts into squeals, grabbing for his father and squirming his mother’s arms. Sure enough, James comes swooping in, flying his son above his head over to you. “Ah. Hello, fourth member of the Potter household.”

“Oh, did I get the job?” you quip, sitting back into one of the counter’s tall stools. “When do I start?”

“Right now.” He drops Harry into your lap, warm and heavy and smelling like baby. “Starting rank is babysitting. You’ll move up as you go along.”

You roll your eyes, turning your attention to the youngest Potter, who stares at you with wide eyes, one small hand moving to tug at your hair. “Harold. Ouch.”

“So, Y/N.” One of James' hands reaches up towards his head, scratching at his mass of curls. “Have you noticed anything off with Moony lately?”

“No,” you say slowly, one hand moving towards your cup of tea. You catalog your interactions with your boyfriend in the past 24 hours–two toothbrushes on the counter, breakfast tumbling out of bed, mumbles, half-late for work, short and sweet lunch call, good evening welcome home hi i love you kiss, two plates on the table, how he tastes of smoke and mint after brushing his teeth. Everything seemed in place to you. “Should I have noticed something?”

He looks at you. Stays there for a solid few seconds. Then, slowly, crawling, “No. I suppose not.”

Steam pushes between your fingers, tightening in coils through the air. You frown. It almost hurts. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeats, looking away to saunter towards his wife. His arms wrap firmly around her waist; she lets out a small, surprised laugh as he whisks her into the air. Harry drops your hair and turns towards his parents, clapping with vigor.

Your fingers knot their way into Harry’s shirt–a burnt mustard shifting to a pale yellow in the morning sun. Your other hand traces the rim of your cup. Lily was right, it’s practically boiling still, it’s scalding to touch. The more you do it, the more you’re sure all of your nerves have burned off.

“Lily?” Your voice emerges like honey. Low, smooth. Achingly slow. Transparent. Perhaps too much so.

She perks her head up from where it lay on her husband’s chest. “Yes, darling?”

“I should go,” you say after a few seconds trip on the distance between you and them. You lift Harry from your lap and walk him over to his parents. “I think Remus is waiting for me.”

“Okay,” she agrees, arms opening to hold her baby. “I’ll see you later?”

You nod, step back. “I’ll see.”

James looks at you again. You look back. “Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Potter. Your pancakes are burning.” You point behind him, where smoke is escaping from the pan, something hissing and sputtering.

“Shit.”

“James!”

“Sorry.”

—

When the door to your apartment creaks open, you half-expect your boyfriend to be lying on the floor in a pool of blood, with how weird James was acting. Nope. Everything’s in place. Your couch, leather and loveworn with years of you and Remus laying intertwined and shifting and giggling, sits in the corner. The rug, that wildflower blue, is where it always is. The TV, the mantel. You like your living room, but the urge to add pictures just like Lily did, grabs you.

“Remus?” You swallow, checking your clock. It’s already half past ten, he’s usually up by now. You know he had a rough night last night, still sleeping off the full moon a few days earlier, all aches. The moon hadn’t been good, but were they ever? You’d skipped work to take care of him, to try and massage out those clicks in his bones, to stop the aching that you knew lived in his knees and hips and chest cavity, but maybe it hadn’t been enough.

“Mmm?” There it is. Sleep is still coating his voice, croaky as he calls out to you. “Where are you, dove?”

“Sorry, I didn’t wake you, did I?” You lower your voice, tossing your shoes to the side and strolling towards your shared bedroom. “I’m back from Lily’s. Want to go out tonight? Harry’s got something at the park, but I have a feeling Sirius will want to go out after.”

Your hands lodge themselves on your hips. He’s lying on the bed, looking absolutely devourable, as always. His eyes are rimmed with exhaustion, his shirt has slipped off somewhere around the room, his face is framed by his messy hair. And he’s looking up at you with those sweet, sweet eyes, turning his lips upwards as you approach him.

“You’ll be the death of me,” you decide, crawling on top of him and lying onto his chest so your nose is snug against his neck, breathing him in. Your hands find their way to his hair, intertwine–no, tangle–you two together. “You smell good.”

You can feel his lips press to the part of your head, the warmth of his breath as he exhales. “You smell like baby powder and James Potter.”

“Accurate,” comes your response, a loose hum vibrating through your throat. He shivers, you can feel it run through his body. Skin against skin against skin. “Can we just stay like this forever?”

“But how else will we attend Harry’s childrens’ music concert tonight?” He teases lightly. You smile at that, burrowing deeper into the space between his shoulder and neck.

He rubs your back with that same lightness, fleetingly, before grabbing the pack of cigarettes that resides on his bedside table and lighting one above your head. You watch the smoke cloud his face, thickening in perpetual rings. He looks different from this angle, shrouded.

Your hand reaches out to touch a puff of gray. It swirls out of reach before you can make contact.

—

“Watch Harry one second, please? I have to find James.” Lily walks towards your picnic blanket, where your head’s tilted onto Remus’ shoulder, the two of you faced towards the stage. You don’t really want to be here longer than you have to, since the bands really are for little kids and you look out of place here, with no children to show off and giggle and run in circles around you like all the others here. But James went to look for Sirius, whose arrival will allow you to go to your next destination, the bar–and, more than that, you absolutely adore your godson.

“Of course!” You straighten, opening your arms wide to hold Harry, who grins when he sees you. “Hi, Harold.”

He “stands” on your lap, facing you as you support his endeavors with two firm hands around his hips. It’s like he’s gotten five pounds heavier since this morning, and his grip on your hair has gotten ten times as strong, tugging and tugging. You don’t mind, though. Especially when he laughs in toothless spurts, absolutely adorable and the sweetest baby you’ve ever seen.

“Aren’t babies the absolute best?” You sigh with a melt, tipping back onto Remus and letting Harry sit propped on your lap. “He’s the cutest one I’ve ever seen.”

But your boyfriend’s just looking at you, the hazel of his eyes drooping in the fading sunlight. “Whatever you say, dove.”

Then, without warning, Harry lurches onto his back, brown eyes going wide in surprise as he looks up at you.

“Ouchie. Did that hurt?” You swipe your thumb across his small, baby-haired forehead and readjust him so he’s more secure. “You’re okay, lovie. I promise.”

He giggles it off, and something deep inside of you swells. You want a baby so, so badly. A little Remus, maybe, to take to terrible kiddie concerts and smile at you so sweetly.

Remus’ hand slips behind your head, massaging your scalp as you babble to Harry, indulging in his small squeals of delight when you do something funny. You’ve just begun to sing along with Wheels on the Bus when someone bumps right into your back. Someone being a little girl, probably only a year older than Harry, sobs leaving her that are much too big for her small frame. You pass the baby to Remus, turning to give her your attention.

“Oh no,” you murmur, craning your neck for a look around for her parents. “Are you okay, darling?”

Your only answer is another sob. Tentatively, you reach out for her, one palm coming up to rub her back in small circles. Sure, you have no clue who she is, but you can’t just let her weep on the grass, alone.

“Where’s your mum?” You ask, before mentally scolding yourself. Of course she doesn’t know, otherwise she would’ve found her by now. “We’ll help you find her, hm?”

You stand, and the girl, at ease with your kindness, clings to one of your legs, grasping at your hands. Taking the cue, you hoist her up and help her look around for whoever she’s with. The contact seems to be helping, so you trace a pattern on her back, trying to help her calm down.

“Jenny? Jenny!” Someone yells, and an exact depiction of the girl in thirty years barrels through the lawn. “Oh, my poor baby!”

They’re reaching for each other, so you pass the girl to her mother and step back, letting them reunite.

“So sorry if I overstepped, I just heard her crying and couldn’t leave her there.” You flash a small smile at the woman, who grins at you, all tooth and sparkle.

“No, no, thank you so much! She just keeps running off from me.” She smiles at her daughter, who rests her head on her shoulder. “I’m surprised you got her to stop crying, she usually won’t stop once she starts. You’ve got a kid here? You’re good with children, I’m sure.”

You beam at the compliment, eyes flitting to Remus and Harry, who are watching you from their picnic blanket. A sudden nervousness clenches you, and you just bite your lip, murmur something you won’t remember later, smile at the girl and her mother.

She compliments you again, thanks you. You just smile back, my pleasure. Harry’s babbles distract you from your goodbye, so you turn and squat back down to give him a kiss on the head. His hair is down-soft, smelling like baby powder. You plant one on your boyfriend’s cheek too, right on one of his pretty scars, just because. You’re so in love with him, then, and how he smells like campfire and looks up at you with a kindness you’d never thought you’d be lucky enough to find in your life. He looks twisted, so you try to smooth him out with another kiss.

And another for Harry, one more for Remus. You’re almost at four each when Lily comes back and steals away her baby. Five for Remus. One for you.

—

“Have you seen Y/N?” Remus slides into the booth next to James, who’s watching a very curly-haired, very drunk Sirius pushed all the way in. You’d gone off to fetch yourself another drink while he’d gone to the bathroom, but when he returned to the floor, you were gone.

“Think she’s over there with Lily,” James says, gesturing to somewhere to his right. When he looks over, you’re there, frosted glass cupped between palms. There’s a guy standing next to you, forearms against the counter and pretty eyes framed by jealousy-inducing lashes, much too close for Remus’ taste, but you’re too tipsy to register it. He’s got a silver watch on his left wrist, smooth and slippery between your fingers. You giggle as he hands it to you, waves something off and leans in closer. He looks like an asshole, your boyfriend decides. A complete and utter asshole.

Remus stands just as you look around the bar, trying to find him. Your eyes are sparkling. You hold up the watch to show him, wobbling as you turn. The guy–that stupid, stupid guy with stupid, stupid eyes–is asking you a question, but you’re only half-paying attention, thank Merlin. He walks as quickly as he can towards you. Where you’re tucked into the bar, he can just hear the boom of the guy’s voice.

“What do you do for work?” He asks, swirling a cup in his hand. His voice is throaty, deep. At your murmured answer, his brow tightens. “What? Then why are you here?”

You twirl around, letting your skirt flounce. Where’s Remus? “Mmm, I dunno.”

“You could be making a lot more money,” that throatiness continues. “If you traveled. You could do so much more. Be so much more.”

“I like things here,” you respond, stilling to lean against the counter. words sloshing together. “I like my friends and my home and my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend. I couldn’t ever leave him.”

“Your what?” He repeats. He jolts into a stand, glances around. “You have a boyfriend?”

“She does.” Remus finally reaches you. His voice is taut. One hand clasps onto your elbow. The other slips to your hip. Squeezes. “Ready, dove?”

As soon as you feel his touch, you slump backwards, eyes closing as your cheek slips onto the softness of his sweater. “Of course, Remmy. We going now?”

He shakes his head before realizing you can’t see him. “No, let’s just get back to the table. Lily’s there.”

“Lily?” You perk your head up like an excited toddler, searching through the dark for the redhead. “Let’s go. Bye bye, Jack.”

Jack. Asshole name. Asshole. Remus doesn’t like the ugly thing that paws at his heart. You could do so much more. Jack waves, or something. You wave back and let Remus guide you to the table.

“You okay, baby?” You ask, your fingers slowly slipping into his. You trail your gaze upward, your pretty eyes on his face so you can watch him nod. “You smell like smoke.”

“That so?” He murmurs, letting you slide into the seat next to the other Marauders.

Sirius is looking just as drunk as he did ten minutes ago but much less sleepy, to his credit. He bobbles his head up and down, eyes on you. “Again, Moony?”

Your head tilts. You look like a begging puppy. “Again what?”

Your boyfriend swallows. You press your finger to his Adam’s apple. He swallows again. You giggle as it bobs, feeling the sensation on your skin.

He doesn’t giggle with you, you don’t mind. His eyes are pretty tonight. They’re shiny. Glittery.

“Sirius,” comes James’ voice. More serious than you’ve ever heard him be with his best friend. “Don’t you think you did enough last time you drank?”

“What happened last time?” You ask, looking up at the table. Ever curious, you are.

The boy sighs, puts his head down on the table. “I don’t really remember. Something with Moony and yo–”

“Sirius,” James says again. His voice almost echoes.

“Oh.” Some kind of realization seizes him. “Sorry, Lupin.”

He doesn’t receive a response. Those are tears, you realize. Glossing up his eyes. All of a sudden, it feels as though someone’s punched you in the gut. Your hand reaches for Remus. He lets you touch him, but you don’t feel his fingers braiding through yours. You take it back, tuck it under your chin.

“Don’t smoke in here,” you mumble suddenly, to no one in particular. “Don’t do it.”

“What’s that, darling?” Lily swoops her head next to yours. The alcohol’s effects are starting to rub off. Maybe she thinks you can’t see the glances she’s making to James.

“I want to go home,” You say finally.

Remus stands before you can elaborate even a word more, grabbing his coat and yours from the backs of James’ chair.

“Goodbye, lovely,” Lily says to you as you trail behind Remus. Her husband is saying something to Sirius. You can’t tell what.

Your apartment isn’t far from this bar, that’s why you chose it in the first place. The starlight is just beginning to lessen, midnight shifting into something else. Clouds, miserably gray, cling to the awakening sky. It must be morning. Soon?

You walk the first block in silence, shivering, as you watch Remus so clearly hurt. His strides are impossibly long, rigid, each breath of his comes out half-torn, and he’s blinking so much more than any normal human should be. You’ve spent years memorizing the planes of his back. You can tell when he’s tense, shoulders folding in on himself, only you can’t tell why.

“I-I’m sorry,” you try, quickening your pace to match his. “I never should’ve spoken with that guy, he just had a nice watch. I don’t–I don’t remember how we got talking.”

“Y/N, don’t apologize. Seriously, that’s the last thing I want you to do,” he says, stopping to turn to you. “It’s not… it wasn’t that, I swear.”

You don’t like the way your name touches his tongue–like mulch, something falling to the floor. It’s unlike him.

“What is it, then?” You ask, eyes nonjudgmental. “Tell me.”

Your heart skips a beat, then, “nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” you argue, resuming your walk. “You can talk to me about anything, Rem. You know it.”

“When we get home,” he offers, and you take it. You’re nearly there, anyway, just a few more doors and you’ll be in the warmth. Your feet shuffle on the sidewalk as you walk, almost nipping his heels.

The lobby, as predicted, is warm, but dark. The lights are set low. You have to fumble a bit to find the button for your floor, more to find your keys. Remus nudges you aside, gentle but firm. He opens the door, lets you stumble inside.

“Sleep, alright?” He opens the door to your bedroom, and you’ve already forgotten your earlier conversation. “I’ll be there in a bit.”

You know where he’s going, the sound of the landing door confirming it only a moment later. You hear the lighter, the exhale, even over the city’s lullaby. You turn away and the sight of your bed lures you in, more than changing into pajamas or undoing your makeup and hair. But just as you topple onto the mattress, your nerves go frigid. Without Remus next to you, fingers running through your hair, it’s hard. You flip and flip and flip until the last dregs of night force you to sleep.

—

When you wake, it’s jolting, to the crash of pans, a shit sworn under breath. Someone changed you out of your clothes while you slept, put you in one of Remus’ old soft tees, loose and hot on your skin. Your hand travels to his side of the bed on instinct, even though you know he’s out in the kitchen. Usually, when he makes breakfast Sunday mornings, you collect his warmth, coiling up where he lay only minutes before to try and push the day away as best you can. But today, the sheets are cold.

You pull yourself up, a frown weighing down your lips. The bedspread is undisturbed, sheets crisp as when you made the bed the morning before.

Did he even fall asleep? Some kind of dread pools in your gut, tugging and tugging at your intuition. You stand from the bed, stumble into the kitchen, pausing to look around.

He wasn’t making breakfast. He was grabbing his extra pack, one now slipped between his fingers. It’s eleven in the morning. The clouds are stuck to the sky. And here he is, sitting on the landing, looking out at the bleakness of gray, of the city.

You say his name so quietly it sounds like a nightmare, go to him with clouds for feet. When he turns to look at you, your heart startles. He’s hollowed out. Eyes rimmed red. You step out barefoot onto the wood of the landing, stopping a foot before him.

“Show me your hands.” Your voice is soft, the command firm. When he doesn’t comply right away, you take his right fist and unfurl it for him. On his palm run deep crescent moons, some almost biting through his skin with force. You swipe your thumb against them, sandwiching his hand between yours to massage out his scars. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

He turns around again, whole body facing outside except for his hand. He can’t bring himself to make you let him go. The silence stutters between you two, you still drawing hearts onto his palm and him away. He takes a drag from his cigarette.

“We need to break up,” he says finally, and you think someone’s gone and pulled the landing from under you, because you never once in your life thought you’d hear those words. Not from Remus’ mouth. Not ever.

“What?” You try repeating the death he’s just uttered, but your tongue lies limp in your mouth and your lips refuse to work right. “What?”

He doesn’t say it again. You don’t particularly want to hear it again, so you just watch as his lips turn white with pressure, as his mouth stays shut.

“Something happened,” you say just to get it out there. “What?”

“I love you,” he starts, and you slap pettily at his wrist.

Shut up, you mean. You can’t say that. Not right now.

“I love you, and so, I refuse to drag you down with me.” Smoke settles around his pretty hair, stagnates. That’ll be a bitch of a smell to wash out, you think. “You deserve to live with a picket fence around your house. You deserve four kids and a dog. You deserve a husband. Not a werewolf, not someone you have to miss your life for.”

You open your mouth, but he stops you. His words refuse to absorb into your brain, refuse to puzzle themselves out. You watch his fingers open into yours, clench onto you with the desperation of a man on the death row.

“You deserve better than me,” he exhales with some kind of botched finality. “I love you too much to make you my future, dove. In another lifetime, I’ll be better for you. I promise.”

Your head tilts up to the sky. You can see shards of sunlight now, meshed through a particularly thin cloud. Lovely, lovely.

You can feel his eyes on you, roving over your face and body, trying to puzzle out your thoughts. It’s funny how some things work themselves out.

yes, i got lazy at the end and yes, i have an alternate ending written

masterlist

tags: @lydiasfalling @cowboylikemac @treefairy-28 @lolwey @callsignwidow @navs-bhat @hisparentsgallerryy @brxght-world @grxcisxhy-wp @luvv-danielle @idkman5353. @just-here-for-ff @rubyinthebooks @laurenzitaa @ariesandwolves @wasiasproject

#nora's scribbles ᝰ.ᐟ #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #marauders x reader #the marauders #remus fic #remus lupin fic #remus lupin x you #remus x reader #remus lupin angst #marauders #the marauders x reader #harry potter #hp #harry potter x reader #fic #x reader #x reader fic

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vex-jb · 6 months ago

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Pick a pile sex with ur next partner💋

~hey there once your done check out the poll all the way at the bottom for a special treattttt !! ~

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Pile 3 🎤

Scroll down and find ur pile before reading u can also choose by the gif

Pile 1 — King of Wands ~ 🐸

Next sexual partner

~ This could be someone that u already know specifically from the past 😭 this individual could have strong air or be a fire sign individual or air/water individual. This person if very much coming off large and in charge they could have a serious look or be intimidating they could have a piercing stare colored eyes. This person is very smart, Book smart. Tho they come of very fierce the way they approach u or feel towards u is more softer. U may have a special place in their heart or there’s potential for that to grow. This person wants to come back in ur life and have a new beginning. This person is feeling confident coming towards u. They may come towards u with an attitude of being more open minded carefree they feel pretty optimistic that things will go the way their planning 😂

How will sex be between u two?

lol I get when u guys get intimate with one another someone may finish quickly which will make the other party feel very disappointed 😂 the person who was left without finishing may want to go for another round almost begging enticing this person to start again. They may like seeing u beg or want them to go again seeing u want more from them, desiring them in that way will make them feel pretty good —in a cocky way lol. There will be another round or 2 this person will gather themself to give it too u better and I’m seeing the 2nd round will be wayy better both of u will be meshing will equally pleasing one another. I see some strong penetration (this person could be pretty girthy or u may see them as being big ) both of u will end up feeling equally pleased. At the end u two could feel like commitment would be a good idea bc of the strong intimacy u share and how it went so well or someone may think I’m not meeting anyone else fuck u like that 😭

**********finishing quick, couple rounds, thick/girthy, commitment, open minded, begging submission, blow job, mentally and physically finishing *******************✨✨✨

Pile 2~The Tower 🐝

Who will number 2 be having sex with?

~ 2 energies pick which one resonates

Group A: U guys have history with this person a lot of on and off again energy. Either this is or will be a fwb or situationship(3rdparty) .This situation is very emotionally charged and lot of cups are coming out. U could be dealing with a water sign specifically Pisces, Gemini, Aquarius Libra or cap.

Group B: this is someone who could have struggled with letting go of someone who they were married too or had a long term relationship with there could have been back and fourth but it only left them feeling worst not wanting to let go of what they invested in or the potential. This person could have been abandoned due to betrayal hence the 3rd party. This person could have been struggling to listen to themselves where they know that relationship isnt meant to last … you could potentially be there 2 of cups a new healthy relationship that the universe is giving to them. But what will they choose idk this isn’t a relationship reading but they will either grow tf up and not settle or be a loser and low ball themself 🙄

Okay the sex part 😁✨✨✨✨✨

The intimacy between the two of you could feel very comfortable familiar 🩵 both of you will feel safe with each other you guys will find each other very attractive in bed A LOT of sexual chemistry. I see kissing will be HOT and heavy u guys will be making outtt, tongue down each others throats lip biting sucking.

I see the masculine taking the lead at first and then u both will be equally pouring into each other 👀 the intimacy will feel very passionate. Strong indication of potential pregnancy coming out. **When sex is hot, emotionally charged, wild intense that’s when babies come into the picture 😳 so be very careful if ur not ready. Like im being so serious that ONE position and POOFF✨🌈🤰🏽single mother 😂 jk (dark humor) but anyways back to the sex reading. I see u both reciprocating so no one is going to feel unfinished. I see u guys wrapping up the session with a lot of light hearted energy laughing smiling enjoying each others company.

*********** water parks *cough cough* squirting, lots of liquid, healing, fun, releasing, body rhythm, music, could have sex in a unique place like not at home maybe outside next to the water beach mid day, spontaneous ************

Shieeeet ik the beginning didn’t sound good but id take the chance for some bomb sex 😭 stop it’s dry season in my life 🤧

Pile 3~ The high priestess 🎤

person could be a fixed sign or pisces. They will be self assured/ confident emotionally content within themself. They could be popular this person likes new experiences. An open minded individual in the sense that if there’s potential for a good outcome for them they will pursue it. So they weigh the profits before they run towards the next venture. This person sounds very business oriented lol. Once they make up their mind they charge after it. Very sharp minded could be older than u or mature for their age. An old soul?

What’s the intimacy gunna be like?

This person could set the tone before they act. They may like to show out a bit to try and impress u. U may find them very interesting they are showing up self controlled experienced and a giver pleaser sex wise. 😜🤸🏽‍♀️ this person could be quite larger than u like it’s giving ur petite and they are manly. This person may be a bit too self controlled not letting their fantasies get the best of them in bed. U may think this person isn’t turned on by u or find u devouring even though u know u have sex appeal but they think that attitude is the best way to keep u interested in them it’s just a mask 🙄 sex will be pretty smooth it’s giving traditional lol 😂😂😂 I think this person sees u as lavish someone to treat in a eloquent way ( I don’t know what other way to describe it but they don’t want to treat u like a whore lol) I see they see u as their ideal marriage partner like physically aesthetically meet there criteria. It may start a bit boring like ur trying to figure them out or bring down the persona but towards the end I see a passionate make out session. I think the masculine will get riled up and u may see a part of their hidden side slip through but they will reel it back in. Both of u will feel better at the end then the beginning.

*********** they like ur attitude they may like when ur disinterested they like the chase they like knowing they can break down those walls to be the man that brings out ur feminine**************

That’s all I got quick short too the point maybe I’ll make more explicit lengthy detailed pick a card piles in the future ??

~~~Comment Below !!! What would u like me to include or do better for future readings so u guys can enjoy ? 💕~~

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moonstruckme · 6 months ago

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Hi lovely! I’ve been wanting to request to you for while bc I love your writing so much but I’m not used to requesting so idk 😭

Ok so I LOVE the way you write for wolfstar x reader. I was wondering if you could write smth where reader gets drunk (or just tipsy) and, bc of the alcohol, she gets more confident and starts being super verbally affectionate when she normally isn’t. It’s not that she’s shy but she just isn’t really a verbally affectionate person.

Thank you lovely!

cw: alcohol, inebriation

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

“You don’t just casually brush a customer’s hand unless you’re hitting on them!” Sirius insists as he jimmies his key in the front door. “And right in front of us, too. The gall!”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to.” He can practically hear Remus’ eyes rolling. “He wasn’t hitting on me.”

“Our angel and I didn’t get felt up when he gave us our drinks.”

Something suspiciously giggle-esque comes out of Remus. “He didn’t feel me up!”

“I think you just don’t understand how handsome you are,” you say in a voice made of dandelion fluff, soft and light and pure. “People like you more than you realize. It’s sort of sweet how you don’t notice, though.”

The lock finally gives. Sirius opens the door gallantly, allowing you and Remus to spill inside first. You’re clinging to your boyfriend like moss to a tree, and Sirius is endlessly grateful for Remus’ physical stability even in inebriation so that he doesn’t have to support the both of you himself.

Sirius never sets out to be the most sober at the end of the night, but Remus only had as many drinks as Sirius and has somehow ended up twice as tipsy. Sirius’ theory: the bartender took a liking to him and poured him doubles as a token of his affection. Considering Remus’ tall frame, Welsh origins, and the fact that he’s been able to drink Sirius under the table since they were fifteen, this seems the only reasonable explanation.

“Me?” Remus sounds genuinely surprised, a bit of bashfulness creeping into his tone.

“Mhm,” you hum. “Remember that barista last week? She liked you, too, but you couldn’t tell then either.”

“She liked me because I had a simple order.”

You shake your head, smiling up at him all soft and adoring. “No, she liked you because you’re lovely.” You reach up, tracing the lines of one of his scars with your fingertip. “Very, very lovely.”

Sirius is inclined to agree, even as Remus’ face goes a very, very lovely rosy hue. You’re in rare form tonight, honey-tongued and expressive in ways you’re usually not inclined to. You’ve been overflowing with declarations of love and sweetness since you all left the bar.

“Do you want something to drink, my loves?” Sirius asks as Remus tries to collapse to the floor as carefully as he can so that he can take his shoes off with you stuck to his side.

“Awe, Siri,” you turn to him with a look of wonder, “are you gonna make sure we’re fed and watered?”

Sirius can’t help himself. He crouches beside you, slotting his hand alongside your face. You’re positively moony-eyed.

“I sure am, sweetness. Is that okay with you?”

You nod, rubbing your cheek against his palm. “I love you when you take care of us. I mean,” you get very serious, “I love you all of the time. It’s not conditional, just, this is a bit extra.”

Sirius is smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. “Noted,” he tells you.

You continue to look at him with that sweet, dreamy expression, and Sirius realizes you’ve likely forgotten he ever asked you a question. He’d be content to do this with you all night, except the only thing that sounds better than sitting here holding your face is getting to hold both you and Remus once he gets you both in bed.

Also, now your boyfriend is watching the two of you with a lovelorn expression, clearly feeling left out, and Sirius can’t have that.

“Do you want some water, darling?” he asks him.

Remus’ cheeks pinken again at being caught. “I wouldn’t mind some. I can get it.”

“No, you say here.” Sirius stands, setting a fond hand atop his boyfriend’s head. “Why don’t you two take your shoes off, and I’ll bring it to you.”

Sirius can hear you and Remus whispering and giggling to each other from the kitchen. Your voices intertwine in a sweet, steady susurrus, as much as part of your home as the hum of the refrigerator or the creaking of the pipes. When Sirius comes back with a cup for each of you, you’ve waylaid Remus on the floor, your torso half atop his and his hands cupping your face. You’re both smiling tenderheartedly. One of your shoes is still on, the clasp undone. Sirius sits by your feet.

“My lovely dovely,” Remus is murmuring, sozzled, squishing your face between his hands. You look nearly ready to melt into a puddle on their floor when you feel Sirius pulling off your remaining shoe and look back at him.

“Sirius.” You appear delighted to see him. “Did you have a fun time tonight?”

He presses cups of water into both of your hands. You sit up to drink yours, whereas Remus tips the cup half on his face when he tries to drink it lying down.

“I did,” Sirius replies. He clasps Remus’ hand to help him up, and the other boy lets him. “Did you?”

Remus runs his fingers up the length of Sirius’ forearm. “Did you really?” he asks. There’s a small divot of worry between his brows.

Sirius frowns. He leans forward, kissing it away. “Of course I did, lovely. Why are you asking?”

“We were just saying,” you answer for him, “that we hope you did still have a good time, even though now you have to look after us.”

A little laugh puffs out of Sirius, relieved. “Oh. Well you’ve got nothing to worry about there, yeah? I love looking after you.”

You glance at Remus, smiling. “That’s what I said.”

“Next time,” Remus says somberly, “you can get as drunk as you like, and we’ll bring you home and feed you water.”

“And massage your back,” you add. “And give you cuddles, if you like.”

“I like the sound of that very much,” Sirius agrees. “Is this your way of telling me you’d like back massages and cuddles?”

You smile at him dopily. “I love you,” you say.

Sirius rolls his eyes. “I love you too. Alright, you win. Back massages and cuddles if you both finish your waters and get in bed.”

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yujinnieswifeu · 10 months ago

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DomG!p Wonyoung(Big dick Wonyyy) 🙏 Sub femreader

You invite her to your house and when she realizes that your parents are not home she 'attacks' you (Wony taking advantage of her innocent best friend 💔💕)

Pairings: sub!fem reader x g!p dom!wonyoung

Warnings: lots of smuttt, dubcon? (I think it is, if it isn’t, please help i’m new to this😭), wony has a dick, red flag wony towards the end, a bit of manipulation (again, i’m not rlly sure but i think so??)

a/n: guyss, oml someone teach me how to write it short cause i always write it so long, i just dk how to, this one might be my longest one yet!! Also, i’m gg to change my italics for the thoughts and exaggeration hehe. Anyws, i kinda enjoyed writing this, thanks for the ask anon! And hope you like it too! <3

It was near the exams, and being smart, you did not really need help with studying, but your best friend Wonyoung told you she needed. She had asked you for help a few weeks back and so you two scheduled to meet up regularly so that you could teach her. Usually, you two would go to the library to study, but recently, she wanted it to be more private, telling you that she could not concentrate in the library and there were still distractions.

So you two decided to study at either of your houses instead, and that was when Wonyoung knew she had to step up her game. From a few years back, when you two had become friends, Wonyoung had always found you amusing. She did not know why, but when you started becoming close, you would always touch her unconsciously, such as her thighs, even sitting on her lap sometimes. It would make Wonyoung hard, and even when you felt the bulge in her pants, and asked her about it, she would tell you that it was just her pubic bone and gosh, you believed her.

She figured that either you were just too dumb or too innocent, or maybe both, to even realise it was something else. It made her jerk off after you leave every time, to the thought of ruining your innocence, wrapping her cock that was twitching around her fingers and imagining that it was your mouth, the thought of seeing you cry as you take her big dick down your throat, telling her it was too much was making her go feral, and she would come like this right after, moaning your name. Gosh, she could not wait to ruin you.

It was going to be 4 when Wonyoung would come to your house to study, and for some reason you were getting nervous. It was the first time that you two studied alone without your parents so maybe that was why? But she was your best friend, you should not be nervous, so why were you feeling this way? The thought of how Wonyoung has been acting recently crosses your mind, she has been touchy with you, which was fine, but sometimes it left you wet down there, and you did not understand that. Ding ding. Suddenly, the sound of your doorbell started ringing, making you step out of your thoughts and alerting you that Wonyoung was probably waiting outside of your door.

You quickly went out of your bedroom, and to the living room as you opened the door for her. “Hey bestie!” She greets you and you gave her a hug, as usual, before ushering her in. “Do you want any drinks?” You had asked, seeing her as she scans the room. “Water is fine. Say y/n, your parents aren’t home today?” Her brow was raised as she looks at you, and you nodded your head, pouring her a glass of water as you two walked into your bedroom, she had placed her bag on your chair at your desk, before lying down on your bed, something that you two were comfortable enough to do at each other’s houses.

“Mhm, they aren’t, my mom and dad actually is overseas right now on their honeymoon.” You replied, placing the mug down on the small table that you had taken out, since you two would be studying, or so you thought. “Oh, that’s nice. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” She sat up now, looking at your direction. Behind her eyes, she was thinking of how to ruin you, since whenever you two would study, there would be people around, now was her time.

“I guess i didn’t think it was important Wony.” You shrug your shoulders, looking at her as she settles next to you now, where the small study table was. “I see, well, that’s true, shall we start the studying now?” She says, flashing you a small grin that makes your cheeks flush slightly, her fingers tapping at your thigh. You didn’t even understand why she affects you this much, but you just nodded, brushing that thought away as you two started studying. Through the session, you found yourself shifting uncomfortably, Wonyoung had her hands on your thigh still, except it started inching near to where you felt the wetness. Sometimes when she talks, she gives you a flirtatious wink, or even say stuff that makes you red.

“You okay y/n? You seem a little red.” She tilts her head, and you nod your head. “Y-yeah, maybe it’s just hot in this room.” You answer meekly, your breath hitching when she slides her hand at your inner thigh, giving the flesh there a soft squeeze. It makes your breathing hitch, wondering if this was normal between best friends, and why you were feeling this way. “Hm, you sure? You seem…a little uncomfortable.” She finishes her sentence, now closing the gap between you two as her fingers lies directly on your core. It makes you let out a small moan, and she bites her bottom lip to not let out the groan she is dying to. “W-wait Wonyoung, what are you doing?” You gasped instead, feeling her rub her fingers at your wetness that has you whimpering, but not stopping her because why does it feel good?

“Hm, you don’t want this? But i want this, i wanted this for so long now.” She whispers against your ear, feeling her fingers press against your bundle of nerves. “Nmmmp, n-no Wony, i-it’s just..we’re best friends, this looks wrong.” You could hear her sighing, removing her fingers from your buzzing core instead and you almost whimper. “Is this what best friends do? Gosh y/n, you have been teasing me every single time when we’re together, sitting on my lap, placing your hand on my thigh, and i even caught you staring at my lips sometimes, you really think of me just as your best friend?” She pushes her hair back with her fingers frustratingly, giving you a look of annoyance that makes you throb. It was true, when she said you had stared at her lips, they just looked so kissable at that moment, and you may have thought how it would feel, her lips on yours.

Why was she affecting you so much anyway? Why were you feeling all hot and bothered when she just did that when you should be worried about it instead. “Unnie…i-i’m just confused, i…i’m not sure why.” You say honestly, and Wonyoung bites her lip, gosh did you look so cute all lost like that. It just makes her want to ruin you even more. “Do you want me to help you with your confusion?” She inches closer again, her thumb brushing your cheek as she makes you look at her. “Yes p-please.” You could feel your cheeks heat up, eyes locked on hers and she leans in, kissing you with hunger.

You try to return the kiss, moaning softly against her lips as you feel her fingers trace down your back, your hands were awkwardly at your lap, clenching at your own skirt as you two made out. She pulls away, her tongue licking at your bottom lip teasingly. It just made you feel the throb between your legs, and you did not understand why. “Wony..” You whined, and she smiled, the nickname rolls off your tongue so easily, it makes her heart swell sometimes. “Yes y/n/n (your nickname)?” She bit her bottom lip now, her eyes shows feigned concern, knowing what you were going to ask her. You were just that innocent weren’t you?

“I-i have this feeling…between my legs, and it’s uncomfortable.” You continue to whine your frustrations out, and Wonyoung only smirks, her plan was working, so well in fact. “You want me to help you with that then?” Her fingers draw circles on your back, and you nodded your head shyly. She stood up, asking you to sit on the edge of the bed and you did just that. “You know…i’m feeling that way too right now, can you help me with that first baby?” She tilts her head, her fingers palming at her own crotch over her skirt as she stands over you, and that was when you realise that she had something sticking out. You could feel your heart race, realising it was what you think it was.

“Y-you..have a dick?” You blurted out, feeling your cheeks flush at the “d” word that felt crude to you, yes you learnt that during science class, you knew what it was and why does it stand up, you just did not know that it was possible for a girl to have one. Regardless, it was making you feel even more wetter down south, and you couldn’t hide how much it was affecting you as you shift on the bed. “Yes i have one, but you like it don’t you?” You only whimper, rubbing your thighs together instead. She sees this, feeling her cock throb uncomfortably. “Gosh, you make me so hard again, just like that time.” She groans, removing her skirt and her panties, and you watch as it slaps against her pelvis, your eyes widened at the size, and it has you squirming on the bed.

“You think you can help me with this y/n/n?” She looks down at you, her fingers stroking her hard on with a pout on her face. You weren’t sure how to help so you just nodded your head, feeling her tap her tip on your lips. “Open your mouth for me.” She huskily says, and you part your lips, feeling her rock her hips slowly as she fucks into your mouth.

You could feel the throbbing between your legs only intensifies as you let her pleasure herself with your mouth. She starts to rock her hips faster, her cock only goes halfway down your throat as you start to choke, trying to free yourself as it starts to get harder to breath, Wonyoung just abusing your mouth instead. She has wanted this for so long, no way would she miss the opportunity to see you struggle to take her cock around your mouth, watching your tears roll down your cheeks as she continues to fuck your mouth.

“F-fuck y/n/n, you’re taking me so well, you’re so good at this.” She moans, her eyes rolling slightly as she continues to fuck into your mouth, her left hand was wrapped around your hair like a hair tie, while the other was wiping your tears away. “You look so beautiful like this…you have no idea how l-long i’ve wanted this.” She moans out, before pulling her cock out, your drool mixed with her pre-cum now dripping down her red and swollen cock and down your thighs. You gasp, finally being able to breath, and you could not deny that it all felt oddly good to you, you could not explain it but she was only making you throb even more when she ignored your pleas to stop.

“How was that?” She places a finger under your chin, making you look up at her, your eyes still slightly teary and your lips puffy was making her dick painfully hard, as her other hand goes to stroke at her cock. “I-it felt good.” You could feel your cheeks flush, and she smirks, helping you to lie on the bed instead as she straddles your hips, her front pressed on yours. “I’m going to help you now okay y/n/n?” You nodded at her words, wanting her to just touch you at the area you needed her the most, to get rid of the feeling.

“P-please..” She did not need to hear another word from you, as she kissed you harshly, wasting no time to undress you, getting rid of your blouse and your bra before her fingers rubs at your nipples, feeling you moan into the kiss as she takes the opportunity to stick her tongue between your lips, exploring every inch of your mouth before pulling away. “Unnie please, it feels weird down there.” You whimper, and she coos at you, helping you out of your skirt as she sees a dark patch on your panties. She bites at her bottom lip, helping to take them off before she places it near her clothes (she def will use it to jerk it off later🤭). “You’re so wet, it’s because of me right?” She teases, and you could feel the hotness on your cheeks, as you nod your head shyly. She lowers down to your core, before blowing at it which has you whimpering. “P-please Wony?” You move your hips, wanting the throbbing feeling to dissipate as she teases at your core. She would make you beg the whole day if she could, but right now, she wanted this. No, she needs this, she needed to taste you.

She leans into your heat, her tongue flicking against your bundle of nerves repeatedly as you moan loudly, your eyes rolls back at the pleasure and you leg twitches slightly. Her fingers go up to your breasts as she stimulates them, moaning at your core. It makes a vibration feeling pass through your body, making you shiver. She continues to lick and suck at your bundle of nerves, and soon, you start to moan louder, the need to pee alarming you. “W-wait Wony!” You cry out, and she knows you’re close, her hands wraps around your thighs, locking you as she flicks faster against your clit, making you squirm desperately, trying to push her off as you fail, whimpering as you could feel yourself letting go, and the feeling goes away.

She pulls away now, and comes up to you, seeing that you had your hands on your face, cooing as her fingers brush in your scalp. “You just came baby, that’s all.” She says comfortingly, knowing it was your first time as she plants a kiss to your forehead. You removed your hands that was covering your face that was bright red, making her giggle. “Look down if you don’t believe me.” She whispers, and you look down, seeing that you had not peed, and you let out a sigh of relief.

“So..that’s cumming?” You asked, and she tried to hold back from smiling, the sight of you so innocent asking such a question makes you look so cute, and she just nod her head, humming in response. “Yes y/n/n, how did it feel?” She asks and you could feel yourself turning shy. “I-it felt good.” You squeaked out, and she bites her bottom lip. Gosh, she really has to ruin you now. “You want to feel good again? I can make it feel..so.much.better.” She emphasises her words, and you moan softly as her cock brushes between your folds. “B-but you’re so big, what if it doesn’t f-fit?” You stutter, your heart was racing quickly again, the rush of adrenaline through your body was making you all hot and bothered again.

“Then..i’ll make sure it does.” Wonyoung holds her cock, pushing it slowly past your hole. You were wet enough that her tip slides in easily, and you whimper at the feeling of being stretched. She only coos at you, her fingers brushing in your scalp comfortingly as she slowly thrust herself inside of you. You start to moan, the pain feeling subsiding and turning to pleasure as she continues to thrust in and out of your hole slowly.

She groans softly, looking down at your expression, your eyes crossing with pleasure and your lips part. Fuck, she really has ruined you, the once innocent y/n was now fucked dumb. The thought makes her thrust faster, still staring down as some drool slides down the edge of your lips, the pleasure was making you lose focus of your surroundings, all that was in your head was how good her cock was making you feel as it rubs along your walls.

She moans softly, her fingers go to stimulate your nipples, which makes you moan louder. The feeling of your walls closing around her cock makes her groan softly, feeling the need to come as she continues to drive inside of you faster. “I-i’m cumming Wony!” You cry out, the feeling of needing to pee comes back and you let go, your body spasms as you feel something wet comes out instead, and Wonyoung groans at the sight, you were squirting.

It makes Wonyoung pulls out her cock, asking you to open your mouth as she thrust back in, her other hand moves to rub at your bundle of nerves as she overstimulate you, feeling you moan around her cock as she stutters her hips, thrusting in all the way as she forces you to take all of her cum. You choke on her cock, trying to take every last drop before she pulls away, panting hard as she lies on the bed next to you, her fingers plays with your hair which now sticks to your face. “How was it?” She whispers, inching closer to you as you had a small pout on your face.

“I-i just peed didn’t i?” You whimper, now feeling ashamed and Wonyoung giggles instead. “I’m sorry i didn’t tell you, i might have lost control earlier. But no, it’s called squirting, and that was hot y/n/n.” She bites her bottom lip, now staring at your reaction which seemed to be red. Wonyoung was now certain it was more than just wanting to ruin you, after all, she has wondered if she ever liked you, which she can confirm she did now when she stares at you. She wants you to be hers, to only have your pussy stuffed with her cock, be her cumslut a-

“Wony…about us? What are we?” You asked, now realising what you two had done, this was not something best friends would do. “Before that..is it okay..if i stay over?” She asks, hoping you would say yes since your parents would not be home anytime soon. “Yes, you can Wony.” You answer shyly, and she smiles, answering your question. “We can discuss about that question of yours tomorrow then?” Wonyoung asks, her fingers playing at your hair comfortingly. Behind her smile and her eyes, she was scared of the outcome, but if she needs to get it through you, she would. She has decided she wants you to be her cum slut and she will make sure you become her perfect dirty whore.

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