#and i know i cant control EVERYBODY

[propertyofkylar]

ok i went through my followers and literally blocked 20 blogs. it's seriously not that fucking hard to put your age in your bio!!

[eclaire-went-bam]

bcs i'm aware of how i automatically percieve people, i earnestly try to give the benefit of the doubt a lot. i tend to believe people are Actually Just That Dumb™ when they're joking about something, so i try to get ahead of that & tell myself people are joking when they say something stupid, so that i don't look stupid

all i've learnt in doing that, is most of the time, people aren't joking. they actually did mean what they say, & i made the situation 10× worse by laughing at what they said.

not only does it reinforce the idea in my head that people are Dumb so i need to take the reins on literally Everything, but it also leads people to believe i'm making fun of them for saying something silly & talking to me less, when, if i knew it were a genuine thing they thought, i would have gladly explained it without judgement

but i don't really know how to stop treating them as jokes, because what if they ARE joking so they laugh at me for how Stupid i am for taking the bait? i can't handle being made a fool of, i think i'd rather die

[cicidraws]

its common sense that when ur sick just fuckin stay home like

even if it was so brief for u. be careful. i mean circumstances like work and appointments obv not able to miss easily

but when theres things you go to that you choose to go to but youve been sick or are actively sick just for the love of god stay home. whats wrong with u

[stoopidpigeonxx]

⋆˚｡⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝑻𝒖𝒍𝒑𝒂𝒓'𝒔 𝑭𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑭𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓. ˚୨✧୧⋆｡˚⋆ (DAISUKE GETTING/RECIEVING HEAD.)

That one anon.. you're welcome boo. NSFW under the cut. Minors DNI. (I'm on a smut writing spree)

Characters/fandom: Mouthwashing, Daisuke

Content: J*mmy mention ew, oral (both receiving and giving) Daisuke is a trans man, him being gentle with it (we love our boy), its for both fem/male reader cuz dick-havers need love <3

Giving.

-he is the GENTLEST boy ever. Soft kisses on your clit/tip, no biting whatsoever, gentle strokes, he's so soft with it. He doesn't want to hurt you, or make you uncomfortable, so he takes it with caution.

-Love my boy, but he is inexperienced. This kinda ties into the gentle part; he doesn't know how to be rough.

-if you're a girl, he's mainly focusing around your clit (Jimmy taught him about it, much to his discomfort). He knows it feels good according to your movements and noises. He likes hearing you moan his name, it gives him a lil' power boost.

-if you're a dude, BE GENTLE WITH HIM!! >:( don't shove his head down onto your cock while he's taking it, that'll make him choke. Let him do it at his own pace. He'll make you feel good the best he can, but that doesn't mean he'll deepthroat you. He can't do that.

-Loves you stroking his hair/praising him while he's doing it. Or just words of affirmation. This is kinda specific, but I feel like if you praise him, he wiggles his ass a bit like he's wagging his tail. Its fucking adorable and I love him.

-his favorite position to do it in is one where you're both laying down, with him on his stomach and your knees above his head. That way he can get a pillow under him and give himself a bit of stimulation, until its his turn.

Receiving.

-I headcannon he's a trans man, maybe about 1-2 years on T, so we welcome t-clit, my beloved. (I go so fucking feral for it y'all don't even know)

-Suuuper sensitive. Like, really. One lick of his lil' hard-on and he's spasming and whining. So you kinda have to be gentle with him in fear of overstimulating the poor boy.

-He'll probably mindlessly tug at your hair or grind against your face because it feels too good, he loses control of his body a bit. He isn't much for face riding, since he's worried he'll crush you, but he can use those hips if he feels like it. (And he does.)

-Babbles when he comes. I headcannon this for a lot of men, but I really mean it when it comes to Daisuke. Not just meaningless dirty talk, I'm talking BABBLING. You cant understand what this dude is saying.

-Very verbal/loud. He has to bury his face in a pillow, poor guy, because he's so loud and he's worried he'll wake everybody up. He cant help it!

[starboye]

pairing: robby keene x male reader

request: maybe reader beats him in like a fight or something idk and robby has to remind him his place and whos really in control cus reader gets tooo cocky degrading, begging, maybe some face slapping (if ur ok w that!), dacryphillia, and rlly rough stuff idk :3

warning: smut, rough sex, cursing, dacryphillia, degradation, reader being cocky, face slapping

you were a little scared to go up against robby i mean he was your friend so why would you ever want to fight him, but sensei larusso wanted you guys to practice for the tournament coming up where the competitors would be much tougher, so you stood there in position ready to fight.

the moment sensei said go you tried your hardest against robby, blocking all his hit and returning with some strong ones of your own making lead way in defeating him and after one more good blow you knock robby down, taking the victory for yourself.

you hear praises all around as everyone cheers at your victory "i cant believe i just beat you" you laugh helping robby to his feet "yeah don't let it go to your head" he warns as he looks around at everybody laughing at his defeat "what to much of a pussy to take a loss" you tease making him even more infuriated.

"loser" you chuckle and that's the final straw for robby, he grabs you by the wrist and drags you to the bathroom "i'll show you a fucking loser" robby mutters as he pulls you into the bathroom "what the fuck" you say trying to walk out the bathroom but robby stops you and pushes you onto the wall.

he kisses you, his kiss a mix of rough and forceful yet soft and passionate "what're you doing" you ask trying to push him off you but he doesn't budge "who's the pussy now huh" robby smirks watching you melt into his kisses, he strips of dojo uniform and does the same to you, you don't resist at this point.

"you're doing this because you couldn't take a loss, such a fucking wimp" you taunt wanting him to go rougher "i'll show you a fucking wimp" robby says before pulling you over to the sink, making you look at your own reflection "want me to fuck you" robby asks rubbing his dick against you hole and spitting some saliva on his tip to lube you up.

"yes please" you whine rutting your ass against his dick "such a fucking slut" robby laughs making you more embarrassed before he slides into you, you moan out but robby covers your mouth "what you want everyone to see you getting slutted out" robby asks holding your hips to keep you in place.

"fuck" you moan dropping your head "ah ah keep that head up i want you to see yourself become my bitch" robby says grabbing your head to make you look at yourself in the mirror, you try to turn your head away but robby keeps you looking "okay im sorry i didnt mean to be a dick about winning" you try to apoligize.

"no slut it's to late for that" robby says and you could feel is thrusts become harder as he slammed his hips into your ass "please robby" you beg with tears starting to run down your face making robbys dick twitch in you as he say you reduce to tears over his dick.

"yeah and what're you sorry for" robby asks as you start to go silent from getting his dicked pounded into you "no stay with me" robby says slapping your face, you get brought back to the present from the slap "there we go, now what are you sorry for" robby asks again "im sorry fro acting better than you after i beat you" you moan.

"mhm and what're you to me" robby asks as his thrusts become harder signalling he's about to cum "your slut" you lowly say "louder i want the whole dojo to know who you belong too" robby says pulling your head back more to keep you looking at yourself get slutted out in the mirror.

"im your slut robby" you loudly say feeling your climax coming to "one more time whore" robby shakily says "im your pussy slut robby i belong to your only" you whimper making robby flood your hole with his cum, his eyes roll to the back of his head as you milk his cock for all his cum.

"can i please cum robby" you whine moving your hand to jerk off but robby swipes it out of the way and wraps his hand arounf your dick and strokes it quickly making you cum right away with a shaky moan "fuck" you mutter dropping your head "clean yourself up" robby says slapping your ass before dressing back up and walking out the bathroom.

after you get done washing the sweat and cum off you, you walk back to the training grounds to see everyone staring at you with concerned eyes "just to let you know everyone could hear you guys" hawk whispers to you "well that's fucking great" you huff

taglist: @mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat

[crispyjenkins]

mandalore the young cont.

original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!

@malcontent-crow

#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)

#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own

#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?

#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?

#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult

#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else

#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?

(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)

sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao

it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed

hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo

SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀

so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.

I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.

one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he

wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.

he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.

he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.

so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.

and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force

so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.

i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.

and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.

so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.

okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?

now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.

so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.

what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?

I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.

now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.

for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?

okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?

maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.

to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.

NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?

okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.

could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.

haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.

now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.

Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.

the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.

[austinsastrology8991]

Mars Aspects, how you like to WIN

if you win,i dont win so i gotta turn my loss into yours, becsuse we can't all be winners. i didnt change my mind, just chose a better outcome, whats your choice?

Mars aspecting sun - winning at all costs, they appear like a winner, but the means and ways they go about it are so in your face, you become impressed but simultaneoulsy concerned. but thats what gets them off. they turn the expression show dont tell, into show and tell everybody. which gives them more enemies, but also makes em more fierce. also flambouyant just to throw their enemies off lol. mars aspecting moon - they like to win behind closed doors. they want you to belive in them, simply becsuse they believe in you. its what gets them emotionally secure i guess. the security of winning. but its just confusing becsuse for example we watching tv on da couch, and your trynna pull a funny. sit down we still love you we just tired. but if you put them in there place expect a tantrum. mars aspecting mercury - basically death note. intellectual competitors/debators always playing the chess game of anything; "whats the best move here" also super entertainign speakers, can talk super fast and aggressively. also very into learning, they want to dominate the intellectual sphere. they wanna argue with everyone but no one wanna bite back lol. also > can't catch deez hands

mars aspecting venus - agrresively charming. there charisma just exudes from there aura naturally, people just laugh at these guys so easily, because they just are likeable with it. also people love it when they are angry, they just fall for em harder. but they dont like to get angry becsuse theyd rather just be charming mars aspecting jupiter - so much movement, they move like the "wacky waving inflatable arm tube man" - family guy. but seriously the way they move peopple just cant believe they move like dat, they move so strangely but hypnotically. also so much energy these guys can do a million sets in da gym and eat the whole fridge. they just got way too much energy and it shows... they also just get really lucky w competition, victory just lands in their lap lol. mars aspecting saturn - these guys are always striving to be da best at whatevrr there mind is set on. if they gotta goal, then whatsver is obstructing there path better move or they gonna trample all over it/ya. kinda intimidating. but this usually sets them back, but in the end only makes them stronger/ more fierce. because to them the fear people have of them is also getting in there way lmao. unless it works to there favour... basically control freaks and they only care about their agenda, but will pretend to have your interests in mind, just to get there ends. mars aspecting uranus - these guys are the true psychopathic freaks, everyone i know with this aspect is sadistic and also enjoys getting hit. people stay away from them, because they know they just wanna hit them lol. even when they acting nice, after like a week they show their crazy psychotic side, and everyones like yeahhhhh idk about you. but they dont mean harm they just view violence as intriguing i guess.... they like to win by fighting everyone and anyone lmao, but its play fighting, unless you try them... they really are the psychopaths; extremely calculated and precise with there attacks. they think they doing you a favour by attacking you lol. mars aspecting neptune - idk why but they always getting sexualized, probs because they are an easy target, and there submissiveness gets people going like "i can hurt them and they will literally just apoliogize :D" i feel bad for these lot, but there forgiveness really does shine through, i guess they dominate through submission... go figure. they like to win you over with their pure hearts <3 mars aspecting pluto - they literally do nothing and everyone is intimidated lmao. you can just tell these guys will not just kill you but torture you and enjoy it lol. thats why they always acting like they are not a threat, because they are begging for someone to challenge them, but they are so bad at acting innocent, everyone can tell they are a wolf in sheeps clothing. its all or nothing with them. but they choose their prey very carefully... they like to win at all costs no matta the price.

[fortunatelyannoyingcrown]

I know Rhysand Stans have blinders on when it comes to their fave, but it's so weird to me, the ways in which his actions towards Feyre, which are clearly examples of textbook SA, are minimised by them.

Like some of them are genuine when they respond to people saying Rhysand SAd Feyre- "Acckchually, you know, I didn't interpret it like that.... because..because.... he didn't touch her below the waist or anything right??.And he gave her drinks to make her forget it right???....So in my opinion he didn't SA her....

......

But it's okay because we all have different interpretations of a text so......leT's aGrEe to dIsAgReE!!!! ......"

As though something like this, is a matter to have an "opinion" on....

I didnt realise a scene which was showcasing textbook SA, like touching her without consent, forcibly feeding her wine so she would black out, making her do sexual dances etc, in front of everybody, could have different "interpretations"...like when you think about it, you realise that these people are so far up Rhysand's ass, they are literally justifying the SA that's written as cannon, in the text and trying to turn it into something else...

Classic case of belittling and minimising SA crimes, that usually happens in real life too..

There were several ways SJM could have written that scene, and make it look like it is absolutely not SA, one being, I don't know, Rhysand actually not SAing her and then, them yapping about this would make more sense...

Even with the Tamlin situation they like to bring up to show how much of an "abuser" he is, it is literally written that he was trembling, shaking and had grief/pain on his face when he lost control of his powers, blowing up his study where Feyre got hurt.This is actually where multiple "interpretations" are possible(although it is obvious there can only be 1 inference from this scene which is he had a freaking panic attack after Feyre pushed his buttons a little too much).Because the scene is written that way.

Whereas there is nothing else you can interpret from Rhysand's deliberate acts of coercion and abuse as anything other than what it is.Otherwise, as I said before, SJM should have written it differentlym

So no honey, we cannot just "agree to disagree" on a scene that is clearly showcasing SA, coercion and manipulation.There is no room for different "interpretations" here, you either accept it is SA but you still Stan the guy or you are an SA apologist.No in betweens, no room for different opinions and definitely don't use the "agree to disagree" card because you cant stand that people called him out for the sexual abuser he is and don't think, it is an ultimate act of love or protection...

He is Feyre's abuser and molester.These are facts.

[theninth09]

thinking about how liam almost fell to his death from the hospitals rooftop and then like very soon after that willingly went back to that same rooftop to help kira. and then during the whole ghost rider thing, he jumps VERY far down to get to the horse.

its just. liam constantly getting confronted with situations that were very traumatizing for him and always entering those situations head on. almost falling to his death, getting bitten and kidnapped and turned into a werewolf? goes back to that same rooftop to fight a monster very soon after that.

and liam is so terrified of the berserkers to the point hes scared to be alone, scared in the dark, too scared to fall asleep, so afraid that he cant focus on lacrosse, so scared that he keeps seeing/hallucinating? a berserker about to attack him and then he STILL decides to go to mexico??? stiles literally tells him that he doesnt have to come with them and liam goes "i know but i want to" WHAT THE FUCK? and its a full moon!

hes scared of losing control, hes been on edge bc of everything happening and scott not being there for him anyway and he still manages to control himself on the full moon and goes to fight the monsters hes terrified of anyway.

the whole thing with the berserker and how he got bitten both happened on the rooftop of the hospital. so hes had two traumatizing events happen on a rooftop and he still jumps so far down during the wild hunt thing to get to the horse.

and he even says "i hate horses" RIGHT before it? and he still does it??? theo asks him if he knows how to ride a horse and he just says "not really!" and rides off anyway??? hayden asks him when he learned how to ride a horse and he just goes "right now" like???

moving on.

he has only bad memories with brett and still forces himself to confront him in front of EVERYBODY and be nice to him, knowing what brett is like. and when brett starts taunting and threatening him, he tries so hard to control himself, he makes himself bleed. brett is nothing but an asshole to him and liam still starts being kinda? weirdly? friends with him and asks brett for help with lacrosse, tries to save brett, feels guilty for bretts death even though it wasnt his fault.

oh and that fucking class room scene. he got beaten up so badly that he was absolutely COVERED in blood and would have so many serious injuries if it wasnt for his fast healing, he took that beating while his whole class was watching and laughing and his fucking teacher didnt intervene and just went "oh its better to leave them alone sometimes" and then when scott asks him to go back to that class, he STILL does it. he knows the whole school is full of people who want to kill him, he mentions that he hates biology and he still goes back to that fucking class full of people who stood there while he was coughing up blood on the floor. to that teacher, WHO WAS A WEREWOLF HERSELF, and still just took one look at his face and refused to help him. he went back to that class and did just as scott asked him to.

also: he knew what happened to him at that zoo and he still made the plan to go there himself bc apparently the plan was more important to him than his trauma. like im so serious, he just keeps going back and back into situations where he was hurt and helpless and alone and he sometimes mentions his discomfort or fear but he still does it. he just goes back to those situations and does whats necessary (or what he deems necessary) anyway. god i love him.

hes so brave like. gets attacked and poisoned and thrown down into a well to die? instead of despairing, he starts CLIMBING his way out of that well. falls back down, hurts himself punching the wall, thinks of his dad, starts climbing again.

he wants scotts approval and thinks he isnt a good leader but he still sticks to his ideas and goes through with them and takes full responsibility, proving to scott that hes capable. i mean fucking hell, he took a ghostriders horse and rode INTO the wild hunt. like who does that????

and because hes strong and aggressive he gets put into that brawn stereotype instead of brain but hes actually so smart. he comes up with plans constantly and he has quick thinking & good observation skills. like yeah hes a bit of a dumbass and says silly things but hes strong and capable and smart and brave and a good leader..

and god his character development in s6a. the way he tries to tell hayden that he can be the alpha but cant even get the words out bc clearly he doesnt believe them himself. and he tries to be a leader & hes GOOD at it, but he still doesnt believe in himself, thinks he doesnt deserve being team captain, doesnt ask for his friends help even though they're willing to follow his lead. and at the end of s6a when stiles tells him that hes the alpha now that scotts leaving, he just goes, all nonchalant, "im not an alpha" hes not worried about it or doubts himself or has trouble admitting that. hes not an alpha, obviously, but he doesnt have to be. he can be a leader, the alpha in acting or whatever without having to be The Alpha™

MY POINT IS: he goes through something extremely traumatic, struggles with fear and self doubt, doesnt even open up to his friends about it or ask for help and then still faces his fear and brings himself willingly right back into a situation that caused him trauma. my favorite reckless silly puppy...

[yameoto]

OMG I JUST SEEN YOUR CHARACTER LIST THAT YOU WRITE FOR CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE SOME GHOSTFACE SAM X READER RELATIONSHIP HEADCANNONS 🤍

SAM CARPENTER GHOSTFACE HEADCANONS ! and yes i do have a bot for this.

✗ warnings ; murder, controlling behaviour, manipulation, general ghostface girlfriend toxicity. nsfw at bottom dom/sub. marking, knife!kink, free-use ment

protectiveness dialled to the MAX. if you think she was bad before its nothing compared to now. and i mean kill-people-who-look-at-you-the-wrong way type of bad. "oh, don't even worry, baby. i took care of it."

she has to be near you at all times; scratch that—has to be TOUCHING you at all times. seriously cant stand it when you're not wrapped around her fucking koala and will make it everyone's problem.

would never ever EVER hurt you. she hurts people for you—no matter if you want her too or not. besides, she has other ways of keeping you quiet.

when she took off the mask she wasn't even the slightest bit worried, as fucked up as that sounds. she knew you'd never leave her; you love her too much, she loves you too much. how could you ever give her up? she did this all for you.

calls you "doll" or "angel" almost exclusively—but not just that. you're her doll, you're her angel—her own precious little thing and you're never gonna leave her, okay?

but one can never be too sure; so she isolates you from all your friends to make sure you really can't leave. controlling to the point where if you lived with her you wouldn't be able to leave the house without her. but that's okay—she's doing it because she loves you. she's protecting you.

because she's off her meds she starts to see billy more and more, and she won't take them no matter how much you beg her too. sometimes you wake up to her see her sitting up staring blankly at the wall, eyes slightly glazed-over as if she's seeing something that's not there and it scares you too fucking pieces. it'll happen sometimes in public, too, like when someone gets a little too touchy with you or even, sometimes, when you get on her nerves ; which is definitely the most terrifying one.

(he's telling her to make you hers. telling her to take you for herself and leave a bloody fucking mess in her wake. whoever the fuck thinks they could ever take you from her is in for nasty, gory surprise.)

you're her anchor point. you're the only one who can ever calm her down if it gets too much. and you can tell, too, when chad's just running his mouth a bit too loudly and her hand is twitching towards the butcher's knife on the counter and you have to twist round and cup her cheeks, pepper kisses to her lips and she just melts — all potentially murderous urges forgotten as she wraps your arms around you.

nsfw !

so fucking handsy. CANNOT keep her hands off you. has the annoying tendency to squeeze your ass or tits whenever she walks past

even when you're in public which makes it so fucking degrading. you could be talking to a stranger at the club and she'll just lean over to grope your tits in full view of the guy you're talking to. just so fucking casual as she strides past, like its the most normal thing in the world.

and tbh it kind of IS, so when the guy stands up all angry for you and you're just sitting there spluttering and have to go "no i— i let her.." like the little slut you are

so so rough in bed. borderline violent. she just can't help it, not when you get that delicious spark of fear in your eyes and you plead with her with those plush, parted lips like you're just begging to be used and abused.

obsessed with leaving bruises and hand-prints on you during sex. gives her the deepest pleasure to see you all marked up, so clearly hers. it makes her cock stand up just thinking of it.

has made you walk around the house completely naked after a good bruising before just to admire her handiwork. and to make you easy for use, of course.

marking you up with her initials on the base of your neck so everybody knows that you’re hers.

definite knife!kink. dragging the dull edge of the blade along your thigh.. smiling to herself as you tremble under the cold, cold metal grazing your folds.

fucking you as she does it—fingers swirling so goddamn slowly that makes your eyes water, each time she flicks your clit your body screams at you—but you can’t move. bc there's a knife right fucking there and then it'll be your fault if she hurts you—not hers. she told you to keep still, didn't she?

[skunkes]

ok detailed surgery experience

i made this schedule (?) of the major events as soon as I left while I cld still remember (and still kinda forgot!) i like knowing the Times of stuff so I asked my dad to take note of Times for me, and tried to ask for the time where i could

surgery I got was a laproscopic bilateral salpingectomy, full removal of the fallopian tubes only!

Misc details off of dis, obviously TMI territory as its a medical procedure.

The second blood draw (they took blood from me yesterday tooooo) hurt less and more somehow. Nasty nasty bruise forming.

IV really was the worst part of it ! I'd get weird throbs of frustrating pain long after it was in

I was given compression stockings that went right up to my crotch. Your toes stick out, and they put hospital socks over your feet. Some additional compress wraps were placed above my knees.

Pre op/prep didnt take too long at all. I know I have it listed as over an hour of waiting, which always made me nervous to read in other people's experiences, but it doesn't really feel like waiting. The TV helps pass the time, as do the people who are with you if any, and the nurses popping in with help or instructions or updates. The prep room was small and the bathroom was next door. The double doors open to wheel you out. Remote was given toe to control the TV and also call the nurses via a speaker.

The nurse who wheeled me in was nicest, she pronounced my name Correctly and was also really funny and friendly...

In general I knew this surgery was going to go well because I was actually able to fall asleep last night. I've stayed awake/tossed and turned for events far less stressful. Dis was also due to part of it kind of not feeling real for me! And being wheeled into surgery room added to that! It didnt feel real, it felt like watching one of many scenes from medical media of the same point of view.

I did start quaking and shaking once in the surgery room (also small, I did not look around much in fear of it making me panic last minute!)

They had me scoot from the prep bed to the surgery table. There was a pink foam headrest for me to slot the back of my head into. They strap you in with arms out like ur being crucified and thats when it became more Real for me so i started shaking a lot, but I can't tell how bad it was under the heavy blankets. I think I shook more and for longer when I went for my MRI (which also isnt/wasnt scary but the body freaks out for no reason). Im surprised at myself for being so Calm ykwim

Anyway, strapped in, had monitoring stuff stickered onto my body: my sternum, side of body under chest/armpits, and another pair I cant remember where. Hair was put up in hair net. My hospital gown was untied as the tie starts halfway across your body and goes under, but this was not done in an invasive-to-privacy way, and I was still fully covered by it (and then recovered by blankets)

(3 separate people asked me how many kids I had throughout this whole venture, and were Shocked at my response. This was the other most nerve wracking part as I started to get weirdly anxious that someone wouldn't like this and cancel my surgery or something. One of the Askers was the anesthesiologist.) Doctor/surgeon came in and asked if i was ready and talked about how he loved being under anesthesia LOL. Everybody was speaking about their opinions about childbirth and sterilization and parenthood, but amongst each other and not to influence my decision, along with telling each other to set up XYZ. Once again everybody is charmed by Cheye's usage of the word "yay"

Ive never had surgery before, so I was worried about anesthesia. In my mind i was imagining it to be being fully lucid and then your vision darkens and takes you, which was scary to me like i dont wanna be freaking out and then immediately KNOCKED out!

But it was gradual which actually made it more calming for me...the funny nurse put the oxygen mask over me, I got very nervous bc she said to take deep breaths and honestly i couldnt even breath much at all in it, and breathing out also felt very restricting and like I was going to choke, but it wasn't Distressing. I just breathed slowly and it worked anyway.

In a few seconds I felt a cool tingle in my arm that then sort of burst into my torso, and my whole body felt really light and my eyelids draggggggged half closed, but it felt very mechanical and involuntarily (like slowly closing window blinds...or like how the brightness options on a 3DS are numbered buttons ykwim? Like, Closing 1, Closing 2, Closing 3, Closed Halfway, all pressed in quick succession). Heavy heavy heavy. I stayed in that half closed state for a while! (Probably not even a full minute, but it also wasn't instant...i still had time to think and Hear conversation etc, as well as feel that there was some mechanical thing tightening around my spread arms along with the hand adjusted straps)

The funny nurse was telling me to relax and have sweet dreams and that they wld take care of me and such. And then I was out. I do not remember my vision fully fading or eyes fully closing, in my mind they stayed in that half closed state.

Ive heard ppl say it feels like blinking and waking up, but it did feel like sleep to me!!!! I know dreaming under anesthesia isn't really a thing, but waking up felt like....i was really waking up like normal and trying to remember traces of a dream after several hours of sleep.

I always thought it was silly seeing ppl ask if the surgery was over when they come out of it, but I did that. But like i swear it came out involuntarily??? Like i knew it was over....i think it was because I couldnt really SEE anything when i woke up, I could only hear staff speaking to me, and I can barely remember what they said. Vision was VERY very blurred. So I guess that question came out as substitute for Where Am I, and Who's Here With Me? Speaking felt like when audio unsyncs from a video, with my voice trailing far behind my words. I also remember being really bewildered bc there was some sort of residue on my lips, like when they're chapped and dry and cracking. I learned later this was bc of the intubation but i Didnt Know That Yet so i was just scared and thirsty.

Adding another "pain was less bad than the average period which has one Doubled Over" statement to the pile. Pain was at 3/10 or 4/10, which is to say if period pain is a whole abdomen event, this pain was small little bruises occasionally being brushed up against, just small throbs of sore pain in the 3 incision spots. I got an incision inside my belly button and that was the most present sensation, but that might also be bc I hate anything having to do with that area in general 😭 always feels weird.

My throat felt very DRY. It wasn't pain yet, it felt like when you're thirsty + dehydrated and your lips stick together at any slight moisture, but in the throat. Kept trying to look around and wiggle my fingers and toes in hopes that'd help me Come Out Of It sooner bc not being able to see was really frustrating me. I could not make out the face of the person watching over me for some time. I really wanted water !

HORROR when the person looking over me said i had a catheter still in me. Nightmare I wasnt counting on actually happening and wasnt mentally prepared for. I was told I would have one placed (make sure to ask if this is a concern for you!) but i thought they'd take it out before I woke up... I cldnt even feel it in me when I was told this! Which is good.

The staff of course had to remove blankets and open my gown a bit to access the area. But I did not feel any distress about this at the time.

Had a very funny slow motion distress response bracing self for removal. It did not hurt or sting at all, it just felt like [something I cant describe here]. Just pressure! It was pulled out gently but quickly of course.

After 1 hr i was wheeled to a separate private recovery room. The nurse uncovered my lower area to check if incisions were doing good so far as well as to check if I had been provided with a pad/underwear, as some patients have blood or other fluids come out as a result of the surgery.

parents came in, was so grateful for juice but in dismay over my food item being orange (i dont like citrus flavor) jello (i dont like jello 😭) i consumed all of both.

I also worried I'd feel weird about throwing my body parts away. But I dont feel anything ^_^ just feels very awesome and natural

Sore throat started further developing. Nurse came in after some time here, taught me how to Get Up. Was scary! I was worried about it hurting, but it was just more soreness.

Was able to go to the bathroom, went a very little bit but it was enough. I was very scared about seeing my incisions and being disgusted by them....but I caught a glance and it was Okey Yey. They are covered in surgical Glue and dont look gnarly, swollen, red or anything they look very cool ^_^ got dressed in stages as there was nothing to set clothes down on and sat back down on the bed. The bathroom connected to another room where somebody else was preparing for surgery.

Nurse came in with final post op instructions, upon describing nausea to me my skin got cold, stomach activated and krusty krab exploded with it. She was just barely able to get me a bag to throw up in. This exacerbated the throat pain. She encouraged me to get it all out especially since I also expelled gas, which is a good thing.

IV removal didnt hurt! Same level of pain as the tape around it being yanked off. I couldn't even tell it was over. I was wheeled out of the hospital. ^_^ i wore an oversized dress my sister lent me, and cheap target sandals so I wouldnt have to bend to tie shoes. My dad pulled up the car right outside. I brought a pillow to be a barrier in between the seat belt and my stomach.

Its 6:48 neow and I am laying down, but the pain is (currently) the same. I had another nausea (and release. Also exacerbated throat pain.) spell (while in walmart picking up the pain meds), was boiling alive in my very hot room, and was a bit dehydrated which may have contributed to some misery and nausea but as of right now I'm ok, i changed into lighter clothes, drank water, ate a bit, and situated self in a room with ac....i worry about getting up and becoming nauseous again 😭 i hate throwing up.

People are right about it being more discomfort than pain! You have to walk around every few hours, and it doesnt hurt but every step feels like my bellybutton is kinda pinching inward. Being tugged at from the inside. Ive gotten to a point where even chuckling makes me feel this very Sour soreness (not regular dull soreness) so maybe ill start the meds soon if necessary.... Squatting to sit doesnt hurt in a debilitating way, neither does actually sitting or putting on/stepping into clothing.

I couldnt nap because laying on my side doesnt hurt the incisions or anything, BUT its just the strange discomfort again. The weight of gravity on the body makes the incision sites feel very very weird in an abstract way i cant describe. It isnt pain. It feels like a mismatched sensation of some sort. Like if you touched your nose and somehow felt the touch on your knee. Adjacent to this. A very specific sensation sits in all the incision sites and drags down through your mattress to the ground and it feels Weird.

If you get up properly it really doesn't hurt to do so! Use your leg to get yourself fully onto your side, then use your arm to push yourself up into a sitting position.

I am very nervous from when all the good strong hospital meds wear off t_t i heard the day after is a struggle because of dis. but ive got the prescribed pain management on hand (extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol with codeine!! O_O) neow at least ^_^;

OH, AND THE DOCTOR TOOK FOTOS OF MY INSIDES LIKE I ASKED! ^_^ 🫶 I have glossy printed souvenir now! I dont exactly know wtf im looking at but its awesum LOL maybe i will ask for details at the follow up!

[indigo-greer-collins]

you guys ever can’t tell if you kin a character or need them more? damien’s been rotting my brain recently.

(excuse my projecting for a little) he’s aware of so much of the injustice in the magical world; and he’s passionate about it. but everyone keeps mistaking his passion for justice as anger. the world, the environment he’s in frightens him. the injustice he’s witnessed time and time again, towards the people he cares about the most is exhausting and frustrating. he burns with the desire to help all the people this magical society keeps pushing aside.

but all people will ever see is that he’s “angry”.

but that’s not all it is! he wants change. he wants to believe in something, he wants to believe in people, he wants to have some trust in the systems he’s under but because he wants it so badly he’s “aggressive”. he’s “hostile”. he’s “grumpy”. they even say he has a “bad attitude”.

nobody wants to work with him because he keeps getting “angry”.

so now he’s growing more and more isolated. he looks to his left and to his right and no one seems to care as much as he does. everyone at the top just sees him as some kind of number or statistic. his fellow numbers think he’s insane for caring so much.

but why does everyone care so little?? people are hurt?? people are being silenced, people are ignored, lives are being destroyed — at the worst of it people are dying. and no one is doing anything about it! is he really insane for wanting life to be easier for everyone when it literally has no reason to be this difficult??

is that not enough reason to be upset? doesn’t he have a right to be angry??

you know what fine. he can’t control how people feel right? nothing’s gained from sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself so he picks himself up and charges towards the society he aims for. he keeps his record spotless, he achieves everything he needs to, he breaks himself in half so that his friends, family, future generations will be a step closer to something easier. he can honour those before him who got him this far and pass the baton to those who come next.

then one watery fucking twink. with no aspirations. with his pessimistic, apathetic, nihilism, fucks up his pristine plans.

he can feel everything he put into this, crash and burn in his hands (at the hands of a water elemental no less). how could he have been so careless?? how did he let this slip?? he held everything together so well before and this guy ruined it without a second thought.

he didn’t care. he was willing to let everything go to ruin. he left everybody for themselves - he didn’t believe in any sort of community or empowerment, hell he probably had some hatred to all those people damien was trying so hard to fucking help. pretentious douchebag — kody thought he was better than everybody else.

so yes. he’s angry.

he hates the stereotypes. he hates the relentless teasing. he hates the whispers and the side eyes when the fire elemental shows even an ounce of irritation.

but he was finally giving in. he was finally falling right into the hands of what he wanted to avoid. to the injustice he frowned upon.

you happy now? yes, he is fucking angry. why the hell aren’t you?

(and scene)

(p.s i don’t know what possessed me to write all this out but fuck it, i had fun)

(p.p.s HIS PASSION IS SO SEXY I CANT TELL IF I WANT HIM OR WE’D BURST INTO FIREWORKS CUZ WE’RE SO SIMILAR)

[brights-place]

Hiii hope I'm not sending this at a wrong time 😅

Can we have some headcanons for queen barb marrying reader ?. 👰‍♀️👰‍♀️💐💍

Barb X Wife! S/O

Pairings: Barb X Reader

Warnings: Fluff, mild cursing, THE GAYS ARE GAYING!

A/N: I have never been so happy with this request! I'm literally writing an whole fanfiction instead of headcannons cause THIS! THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT TO BE JUST HEADCANNONS!

Barb X Wife! S/O pt 2

You and Barb had been dating for about 7 years and you were always supportive with each other but you did have an argument when she wanted to unite all trolls you thought you all were going to understand and learn each others different styles of music.

You didn’t think you’d end up watching your girlfriend try to take over the world. You spoke up about it but she was so close to actually collecting all the strings about it and she was gonna quit since she noticed the look of discomfort in your face but continued to do it anyway even though you told her that you felt something would happen even though she knew your gut feelings were always right she waved it off…

Now she stood at the stage watching the strings of the diffrent music tribes Techno, country, rock, funk, and pop fade in her hands as poppy ran to her partner Barb stared at the two before looking towards you wanting you to comfort her but she noticed how you looked away with an look on your face she knew well enough to read.

After the world tour incident she apolgized to everybody and literally had you scold her for so long she started to get into you degrading her which lead to some stuff if you know what I mean 🤭

She had proposed to you right after her concert dedicating songs to you which made you flustered and would take you to the rooftop singing rock songs to you that you loved as soon as she got on an knee you knew what she was gonna do “Barb…” you uttered Barb nodded looking away.

Barb definitely hasn’t been practicing proposing to you for the past 2 years after she realised she wanted to marry you “(Name) Uhm shit I forgot what I was gonna say…Fuck” Barb said looking away as you giggled cupping her face as she cleared her throat “Loving you is a knee jerk reaction. I cant control it and if I could believe me, I would. You walk into a room and my gravitational pull isn’t down. It’s you. Like you’re the Center of my world and I’m constantly falling. Falling, Falling to you and for you and hopefully with you… (Name)” Barb took an sharp inhale as you teared up slightly “If you stay with me, I promise to make you smile everyday with my weird jokes and random kisses. I promise to hold your hand when you need someone to walk with through the storm. I promise to share my food with you, give you good massages and laugh at your horrible stupid jokes that I love so much…” you gasped abit at the end “my jokes are hilarious!” Barb snickered “Sure babe… there are a million reasons why you should stay with me and be my wife… if you’d like to be?” Barb said looking away as you smiled nodding quickly tackling her to the floor and kissing her deeply

You pulled away as she held you close tearing up “Rock on…” You giggled “damn right” You said kissing barbs face as she blushed. Once you tow came back inside you were met by King Thrash and other rock trolls congratulating you two for getting engaged and soon planned together an wedding sitting side by side as you two talked about different things for the weddings.

Currently you two where wondering where exactly it would be hosted “It could be hosted on where we first met?” Barb suggested as you hummed thinking to yourself “Barb we met at volcano rock city plus I wanted to invite our friends from outside of volcano rock city our temperature here is much different were use to it but they might not be” “They have to suck it up I want our wedding it to be fucking rocking!” You giggled cupping barbs face giving her an quick peck on her lips as Barb smiled “god I want to fuck you right now” Barb uttered placing an hand on your waist as you sighed pushing her head away smirking at her “Barb keep it in your pants” “I want you to be in my pants though” Barb groaned.

The wedding ceremony was a perfect mesh of elegance and rock 'n roll theme. The rock 'n roll themed wedding was a perfect mix of elegance and rock 'n roll vibes. The wedding was held inside a vintage like building where King Thrash and Queen Thrash got married at… Barb wanted to be wedded their for her mother and father even if he mother couldn’t see it she wanted her father too.

It decorated with edgy yet classy rock 'n roll accents. The venue was decorated with dramatic black walls, featuring white accents and gold details. The venue was completely transformed into a vibrant and fun rock 'n roll theme, featuring colorful stage lighting, edgy punk rock decorations, and musical elements such as vintage rock instruments and neon lights. The tables were adorned with dramatic black table cloths and edgy black tablescape decorations, making for a perfect venue for rock 'n roll lovers.

An altar had an mix of your favourite flowers and barbs favourite wilted flowers together As Barb stood at the altar gulping sad she fixed her suit slightly as music started to play an rock n roll wedding music. Barbs suit was crafted with a bold punk rock vibe, featuring accent buttons and bold silver spikes on the jacket and black leather pants. The jacket was shaped with a dramatic collar, giving it an edgy yet stylish silhouette, while the pants featured a bold and dramatic drop-crotch style. The pants and jacket were completed with punk rock accessories such as a silver spiked neckband and belt while the shoes were crafted with a bold spiked detail black leather. Barb inhaled sharpley as riff patted barbs shoulder since Barbs bestman was riff.

You stood at the other end staring down the aisle with a nervous look on your face as you wore a wedding dress featured bold yet elegant details combining the dark and mysterious vibes with the elegance of traditional wedding dresses. The dress was beautiful and was crafted with stunning lace and satin fabric, featuring bold accents of black and deep red velvet. The bodice was shaped with a low neckline and dramatic flared sleeves, while the skirt fell in a dramatic and elegant drape, creating a chic and romantic silhouette. The gown also featured dramatic black ribbon accents at the waist, giving the gown a sleek and stylish edge. King thrash was guiding void down the aisle as rock trolls awed at your outfit as satin and chenille high-fived eachother impressed by their work.

Poppy started to tear up and bawled on her seat as branch soothed his partner chuckling. You stood infront of the altar staring at Barb who smiled softly “Your beautiful” you two say in sync before giggling at eachother as the pastor spoke telling the basics as as always before motioning for babe to start with her vows as she gulped and spoke nervously “Well damn it’s just like when I propose to you I’m so nervous… I can’t even believe I’m saying it out loud cause I know I’m gonna be made fun of by my people” Barb said smirking as others laughed in the crowd

You smiled at her as she took out a piece of burnt paper “Don’t ask why it’s burnt… I may have threw an bitch fit” Barb said as you sighed “God damn to Barb” you said giggling as Barb spoke up once more “"In the darkest of times, you are the one who lights up my world. In the most joyous of moments, you are the one who makes it all the more sweet. My days would be bleak and desolate without you, and my world would lose all its meaning. You complete my heart, my soul, my life. Without you by my side, nothing makes sense. I vow to cherish your presence, hold you close to my heart and be there for you through thick and thin. Through every hardship, I promise never to leave your side." Barb said looking up to you before freaking out when seeing you looking up holding back tears “(Name-)” “I can’t cry cause my Massacra was 48 Dollars!” Barb giggled “How do straight people do this without crying?!” You complained as Barb agreed.

You sighed looking down at your own piece of paper with vows on it “Barbra… how do I even start this? Your so fucking chaotic” you started as Barb chuckled with others in the crowd “babe you zealous hard rocker at heart, who loves the members of her Tribe and our music but you also love me… when I first met you… you mostly shielded yourself with a rough exterior but you actually has a softer side that you mostly expresses around the kids in our Tribe but also with me” you whispered cupping Barbs face as Barb smiled softly “I promise to hold your hand when you need someone to walk with through the storm. I promise to share my food with you, give you good massages and laugh at your horrible stupid jokes that I love so much… I will listen when you tell me about how horrible your day was when you come home from work. I promise to you in my arms when you feel like your whole world is crashing down. I’ll make you see that there are a million reasons why you should stay with me… and why you should marry me and you did… Barb I can’t wait to have this new chapter in our lives” the pastor smiled handing you two your rings as you placed them on each others ring finger.

You both were wearing a skull ring with you having a red ruby and Barb having an (Gem of your choice) as hers the pastor soon spoke “You may now kiss the bride!” Barb may or may not have grabbed you by the waist dipping you to the floor and kissing you happily with an large smirk as others cheered while rock n roll trolls screamed doing the rock symbol with you and Barb doing the same while kissing each other happily.

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact

[macbethheadband]

Macbeth cope list

What a lovely theatre it was so beautiful in there the CEILING was so nice. The chairs were comfy too. Uh the walls? They were great also. And the floors were walkable no doubt about it

No problems with the headphones at all except for early on when they all started dancing and jumping around the sound went nuts and the music got really staticy. Not sure if we just got a fritzy night or if thats a problem theyve consistently dealt with. The second the dancing stopped though it was fine again so!

Thats a big part of what really impressed me with the sound too it felt like you could really hear how tightly controlled it was and how much attention to detail theyd put into it with switching peoples mics on and off and adjusting volume when they shouted and looping and overlaying voices. And the sound effects worked really well!!! Incredibly effective and immersive. Sidenote a lady sat in front of us was like oh theres headphones? What are these for? Like i forgot not everybody has dedicated their lives to seeing this play and knows all about it

One downside might be that the audience cant hear themselves so theres a lot of coughing and sneezing and snuffling and snorfing and at one point someones alarm went off and when macduff was doing his all my pretty chickens moment someone was genuinely hacking up a lung behind us. I wonder if thats annoying for the actors LOL i hope the donmar proshot doesnt have a lot of that in the final mix because ill just die

LOVED the use of the glass partition the way theyd have everyone seated in a row and delivering the sort of expositiony lines like i said before. Especially in the second half of macbeth theres a lot of back and forth between lots of short scenes so i really liked the way they dealt with that it never lost momentum. And when they opened the glass and started CLIMBING OUT that was so great

Actually a favourite element was how everyone would start climbing onto the stage and crawling towards macbeth and grasping out at him that was so DELICIOUSLY creepy. Shout out to rona morrison who played lady macduff the woman with the red hair in braids she would crack this extremely unsettling smile whenever she went witchy mode and my eye was always drawn to her.

I have so many macbeths to compare this to bc i watched so many this year and this one is up there as a favourite for sure. I think the descent into madness is hard to do in a way that feels natural and not hammy but we can HEAR the voices in their heads and feel the pressure they feel as everything goes weird around them and the guilt starts to eat at them. I believed it i really did!! The sort of Snap the shift between when hes seeing the dagger versus when duncans dead and hes covered in blood again. YAYYY!!!!! I especially believed his speech about banquo that sort of escalation drawn out by paranoia when hes like make THEM kings???? The SONS of banquo. KINGS??? its like here we go girls…

Also comparing it to all the other macbeths i saw its SO GOOD to have an all scottish cast LOL it really is crazy how that simple change adds so so much

Cush jumbo and her big bright eyes HER EYESSSS shes a very powerful glowy presence in her white dress i loved the way she did this sort of gesture like shes having a migraine paired with the sound and the lights sort of getting keyed up and the ghostly child behind them both and the way she did the out damned spot WAIL and how she said come come give me your hand down low and sweet like to a little kid oh my god…

Im jumping around a lot but the porter was really fun and the way they really harshly snap back into the world of the play after it was really cool like the whole scene was all in HIS head too mmmm

I love when its funny GENUINE comedy like hahaha laughing out loud. It was a rough night! So annoying when you know it could be funny but the actors like nah this is serious business or my name isnt sir kenneth charles branagh. Lets have a giggle mate it makes the frightening parts scarier it makes the tragedy more depthful lets experience the range of human emotions together come on lets go

I just want to keep saying things that worked like the music worked the lights worked the smoke worked the bit where everyones being the witches worked the one child actor playing all the children worked the banquos ghost scene REALLY worked you have DISPLACED the MIRTH the idea that the two of them are carrying a lot of baggage from war and the loss of a child really REALLY works. I think thats the best compliment i can give it like theres nothing i feel like didnt achieve what they were going for or fell short. Im really really impressed by it super super super pleased for everyone for bringing the vision to life so clearly and effectively

David tennant was really good

[caffinedragon]

He knows what happened, he just doesn't feel like anyone would care.

This is a little long but it has been bothering me after i have seen several posts on how Halsin didn't realize what happened to him in the Underdark.

I have a different opinion:

Have people ever considered that Halsin talks that way about his trauma because of how little he believes people would care, and not that he doesn't understand what happened to him?

Now, I am speaking from my own personal experience as someone who has faced a lot of trauma(Nothing sexual thankfully) and who has been put in a semi leadership adjacent position during or after experiencing it, and let me tell ya, you quickly learn how much of a one sided affair that is.

From a young age I ended up being the person everybody in my friend group came to for advice and help, something I had taken pride in. However, I wouldn't realize how lonely that was until I was in my early 20's when the first time I tried to reach out for a fraction of that help I gave out back I got a response along the lines of, "Your life is so much better than mine, what do you need help for?"

And do you know what that does to someone?

I will tell ya.

You shut the fuck down.

You feel like you don't have the right to reach out for help.

Your the strong one.

Your the one everybody needs to look up to.

Your the one everyone believes is unshakable.

You don't need help.

You can do this all on your own.

Sound Familiar?

I am not in the camp that he doesn't understand what happened to him.

It's been 200 years at least and he didn't live most of his life in a society with social rules, forced power dynamics and complex politics and gender norms.

He knows what happened to him was horrific and wrong.

He knows how nature works. He studies it.

I doubt he is ignorant of the fact that the mind and body can operate separately.

He wouldn't be able to control his wild shape otherwise.

He tells you how he feared for his life and wanted to escape.

He explains how he was biding his time in order to survive.

Ever hear of undercover agents getting too deep and forgetting they were undercover?

But, despite this, he has also been around people long enough to notice how people might perceive his story.

he has interacted with people long enough to know that not everyone would be understanding.

I firmly believe that he talks the way he does about his trauma because he knows how people not only react to his physical appearance, but how they view him as this wise and strong unbreakable leader.

He said it himself, "People who see someone my size don't think i can get hurt or have feelings."

He talks like that about it because he has been made to feel that no one would care if he actually broke down.

To be able to do that, you need to trust the other person not to judge you or blow you off.

It puts you in an incredibly vulnerable position.

A vulnerable position Halsin couldn't really afford to put himself in due to everything that happened after.

Unless you have been in that position, you have no idea how scary that is.

And the only way to change that, is to find someone or someones, that allow you to be weak in front of them without judgement.

Which, even in this day and age, is very hard to do.

I am lucky that i have my best friend of 30+ years who let me realize that i had someone i could be weak in front of.

Halsin doesn't have and i think has ever had someone to be weak in front of by the time of the start of the game.

I know how hard it was to let my walls down at 36.

I cant imagine how hard that would be at 350.

If he can at all.

tl;dr: Halsin knows what happened to him was awful and horrific. He just believes no one would care if he spoke about it seriously because "People believe someone my size cant get hurt or have feelings."

[ms-all-sunday]

please give us your Nami thoughts, I love your takes on her. It can be about anything you're currently thinking about but if I could pick then could you talk in depth about what you think about the Nami & Ussop dynamic ? Like yeah it doesn't need explanation about why they're my favorite duo among the strawhats but some of the things you've said about Nami and Ussop individually were not things I had thoughts about before so I want to know what you think of Usopp & Nami

i love nami forever thank you anon this is so sweet and i feel so appreciated. i hope i dont let you down. i'll do both!

i think i havent talked formally on this blog about how nami is written in most fanfiction to other people, but i try to emphasize in my fanfiction the fact she's an abuse victim since I feel that's one of her most apparent traits. the way that she deals with trauma is very reliant on exclusively herself, something i don't think is talked about a lot is that her expectation of what she is told is true is not only reflective of how pirates are known to the god fearing public (indicative of propaganda) but that she exclusively sees herself as the exception to a lot of rules, there's this inherent close-mindedness she has but won't ever really get rid of, that naunce and the room for things to go positively can't fit within her self perception.

this is because she believes she is the only thing in life she can control, and it's a necessary self-perception to maintain the inner worldview she has.

this of course is a survival instinct inherited from her childhood. but what it speaks to i think is that in real life and one piece the anime, that abuse victims (children and teens especially) can come out with a cynical view of the world and externalize that onto others (advocating for the current dysfunctional societal systems for example like nami does in repeating wg propaganda) simply because of how much we alienate them and how that continues to give no hope to people looking for community and understanding.

i like usopp and nami. theyre my favourite dynamic as well! i think something nami is able to do with usopp and nobody else (even with women) is give him the benefit of the doubt. i think this is because she relates to him

(i think she has bpd as well but i cant decide whether thats my legitmate reading of the text or me projecting. i write her like she has bpd. you decide.)

if we look at water 7 i think she's the most sympathetic of the usopp apologists because she was very obviously coming at it from a place of understanding from usopps emotional perspective (because she relates to him and loves him) in a way that nobody else really was articulating. because she's been in that situation where she's successfully alienated herself from everybody she loves in a way nobody else on that crew related to usopp (and by extension robin) on that crew during water 7.

nami doesnt just have a relationship to usopp she could have with no other man she has a relationship to usopp she couldn't have with anybody. i think. usopp is the only one who can cross the invisible boundary of the fact she expects you to be a kiss ass towards her lest you get consequences but usopp isnt a kiss ass to her and there are no consequences. (in fact usopp is quite snarky/mean to her, which is how he is when he isn't masking and completely confident in himself: see end of enies lobby) she apologizes to him when he's snarky to her in thriller bark.

since this is a nami themed post i won't talk about usopp as much. but have you noticed? usopp is mean when he's comfortable with people. he has this attitude at the end of enies lobby as they're escaping on the merry, i think i registered it subconsciously but i only did register it consciously a few weeks ago, but if usopp is truly comfortable he's not a kiss-ass whatsoever. and he's never a kiss ass with nami.

we don't really think about it like this because people are so prone to dismiss usopp is one of those characters that have a facade of palatability when he feels he's not on the same level as someone, coming from his insecurity, but in regards to his genuine attitude we see in enies lobby and with nami that admiration is not the true breath of how he thinks about zoro or sanji or luffy. he thinks they're fucking stupid as well. and he's right. (this exact thing is another reason nami is able to emphasize with him. she thinks similarly)

this ties into both nami and usopps implementation as shonen characters. they're smart and witty and have big personalities to differentiate them from the more powerful characters, i feel this juxtaposition with more traditional shonen characters has made oda feel like he has to justify both usopp and namis existences in the story in a way he doesn't with the other characters. i think it's this element that makes them the most consistently well written throughout every arc they appear in as opposed to the other 7.