#and i just. feel so isolated

[0bsc3ne]

i feel so isolated. not necessarily socially, but just... connection-wise, i guess? particularly in real life. i really don't have anyone i could consider a "peer" because my life is just so... idk. non-conventional? affected by the biological hazard cocktail of fucky chemicals in my brain? my highschool friends have all gone off to college and are out of town and. y'know. doing college shit. my professional "peers" career-wise are all well into their late 20s and older. mostly far older. i don't have any family members or really any friends my age in general. and it just feels so isolating. and it just kinda sucks seeing my old highschool friends doing irresponsible young adult shit knowing i can't bc almost my entire social circle consists of people who qualify for senior discounts and i just. can't disappoint them bc my income fundamentally depends on them thinking i'm a Responsible Individual. but then i see my professional "peers" doing stuff that i fundamentally can't do because i'm not old enough to be taken seriously enough for and/or not old enough to have the experience for. and i just feel so out of place. constantly. and it's just isolating. but i guess that's just the autism talking

[thebrainrotsreal]

Drew this real quick because I fucking love these two so much ???? Especially Bee. I wish they interacted more so badly. PLEASE.

Also learning how to draw these guys.. slowly.

[potassiumprincess]

i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[positivelyadhd]

reminder that making time for your friends, even when you're tried and socialising feels overwhelming is important to do every so often. it's especially important to do this actually.

time alone can be good, for a time, but humans are social creatures and we need to talk to people, there's nothing wrong with that!!

sometimes the more time you spend alone the more your brain will tell you to stay alone. that's not true, you're allowed to (and should!!) see people that are important to you. sometimes that alone can be surprisingly healing.

[tapeworrmart]

Lone Star 🌟

[formulanni]

Alex Albon as The Hermit:

The Hermit suggests that you are in a phase of introspection where you are drawing your attention inwards and looking for answers within. You are in need of a period of inner reflection, away from the current demands of your position.

This is a call to embark on a journey of self-discovery, embracing our true spiritual self and inner wisdom.

Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[budd-ie]

I don’t think Xie Lian ever really got the chance to feel human. When he was born he was the center of the world, and since he was young he wanted to be a god. There was nothing he couldn’t do and nobody who didn’t love him, he had massive privilege and he knew it, and at the time, he really genuinely thought he was omnipotent. His mind skipped mortality and went straight to expecting godhood. But even when this period of his life is over, what comes next is isolation. Now, he’s someone without heavenly appeal but with knowledge and experiences much beyond the understanding of mortals. He lives among them, takes the same jobs, eats the same food, has the same needs, he can try to help them, he can try to love them as he always has, but there’s still something that’s just not quite the same. He may understand their plight after living through poverty, but he’s never truly been the common person he’s always wished to save. He can’t grow old, he can’t die, nothing can kill him, his existence is something so beyond humanity but still so far from the god he dreamed of being. And so, he berates himself whenever he has strong emotions or slips up a little or says something kind of weird or misses little details, becuase he still sees himself as not quite human enough to make those kinds of completely normal mistakes. He pushes people away before he has the chance to hurt them, before they have the chance to learn to hate him. So when Hua Cheng finally comes into the picture, he’s trying to say it’s okay to be human, Xie Lian. It’s okay to want to save yourself too.

[flowersandfashion]

The opposite of a haunting is something very lonely, Katie Maria /// there's a little girl in my head, @heavensickness /// Little Girl Looking Downstairs at Christmas Party (1964) by Norman Rockwell /// Changing, Liv Ullmann /// found photograph with my words /// what they don't tell you, @tryworks /// Anne with an E, A Strong Effort of the Spirit of Good (3x07) /// Time Travel by Emhahee /// Second Wave (2023) by Amy Dury /// Katie Maria

[buqbite]

Halo

[f1shart]

normaltown pt 2 also HOW HAS IT ALREADY BEEN 1 YEAR

IT HAS BEEN. SO LONG SINCE I LAST DREW THESE TWO. and it's barely even them tbh WHATEVER

i had the brilliant idea to combine the personality swaps with my anniversary post, so bam. the ship that got me playing the sims 2 in the first place and instead here i am frolicking the fields with tanmeric and tycutio every single day 😭 sighhhh i have tarnished their name, their reputation... how will they ever recover... i'm sorry pasnerv nervscal pavorious anxious-curiosity pascal x nervous i love you i love you

neways. it's been a rocky 2023 irl, but on here everyone was literally so damn kind. there was such COOL inspiring art i saw (i literally would not have improved as much as i did without it) and i ended up making the bestest buds ever and met other awesome people too ^_^!! so thank you to everyone in this gay ass fandom 💝💘💗

here's the og art btw OMG DON'T LOOK!!!!!! 🤢🤢😬😓

who gave this old man the camera smh

HE'S SO 😞😞💓💓💓💓

[caterinaofsiena]

my dark vanessa | supernatural | mysterious skin

[mlobsters]

supernatural s11e20 don't call me shurley (w. robbie thompson) be still my beating heart part 3 of ∞

[clowningcrows]

lol just saw a lesbian nsft blog that has “men dni” on every single post and yet their pinned post says, “this doesnt include trans men, since that isn’t clear for some reason” like hello????

[langernameohnebedeutung]

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