#and just bc of that.
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i feel so isolated. not necessarily socially, but just... connection-wise, i guess? particularly in real life. i really don't have anyone i could consider a "peer" because my life is just so... idk. non-conventional? affected by the biological hazard cocktail of fucky chemicals in my brain? my highschool friends have all gone off to college and are out of town and. y'know. doing college shit. my professional "peers" career-wise are all well into their late 20s and older. mostly far older. i don't have any family members or really any friends my age in general. and it just feels so isolating. and it just kinda sucks seeing my old highschool friends doing irresponsible young adult shit knowing i can't bc almost my entire social circle consists of people who qualify for senior discounts and i just. can't disappoint them bc my income fundamentally depends on them thinking i'm a Responsible Individual. but then i see my professional "peers" doing stuff that i fundamentally can't do because i'm not old enough to be taken seriously enough for and/or not old enough to have the experience for. and i just feel so out of place. constantly. and it's just isolating. but i guess that's just the autism talking
#its just. such a weird place to be in#i guess i just really feel limited by my age#theres one photography gallery/studio in town. it is The Hub for photographers. five people work there and i am one of them.#i have been the official photographer for our local symphony and for this Major art show my town puts on every year#im constantly helping out/working at the most important historical art gallery in town#but im 18.#and just bc of that.#it feels like nobody actually takes me seriously despite all my tangible accomplishments and credibility#and it just kinda sucks#bc i plan to move overseas in the next five years#so i cant even really make myself feel better by telling myself its a head start#bc by the time that starts paying off... im just about to start packing my bags to leave#idk#i guess all of this has just been pinging around my head for a while#and i just. feel so isolated
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comic
#badtober#badtober2024#my art#digital art#batman#bruce wayne#mlp#mlp fim#mlp g4#pinkie pie#mlp pinkie#joker#dc joker#crossover#I really dont know how Ive managed to get this much mileage out of batman X mlp crossover art. Why is my brain stuck on this.#also i cheated a bit for this prompt bc I had that first panel drawn back in August and just made another drawing to turn it into a comic
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Zoozve, my beloved
#i cannot tell you how much this made me smile just bc it's so full of love#moon#venus#zoozve#long post#sorry about that it's very long but it's very entertaining i hope you enjoy this lil zoozve gem haha#astronomy#astrophysics#space
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Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job
#adhd#autism#Dad: Don't worry little man it's super simple! Just let me - the figure you seek support from - tell you to not be afraid#and then - stay with me here! - juuuuuust do it!#voila. my job is done you're welcome have fun doing all the research and figuring out without issue now <3 no problem#(and no of course I won't acknowledge your previous adulting accomplishments bc that's just expected stuff anyway)#||#vent#i guess? man#i don't have opinions or feelings on the internet often but man
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one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method
#I was forced to get over my hatred of making phone calls bc of this#one 15 minute phone call is the equivalent of 5 back and forth emails#also if you don't know exactly what you need help with you can just ask and you can get real help#instead of just desperately clawing at faqs on websites#it's infuriating that it works so well#ramblings
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soos was crying behind the camera btw
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#pines family#stan pines#ford pines#gravity falls fanart#gf#gf fanart#heheeeeee i churned this out really fast bc i was just feeling it#anyway i'm pretty happy w it#okay bye :3#mods art#my art#mods draws
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not
#icarus speaks#thinking about orion’s belt!purp#i’ve made her so fucking autistic on complete accident 😭#just bc i project so much onto cpurp in general
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The midjourney stuff just reminds of when we were trying to find a new platform to host the ao3 donation form, and companies kept trying to tell me about all their "ai" features that would track donor engagement, and figure out the optimal pattern to email individual donors asking for follow up donations, and all the ways they suggest we manipulate people into staying on our websites. It was a great way to filter out who either wasn't listening to us when we described our ethics and donor base, or just didn't believe us.
Now granted ao3 is a unique case based on a) the amount of page views we get in any given time period and b) the fact that most donors absolutely do Not want to be identified as such anywhere, (the default "list of recent donors" module got nuked Immediately) but it surprised me some that the concept of "donors who value their privacy and would be furious at even the whiff of AI" is unique. Some of us really are just existing in different worlds.
#I just started dropping '2.5 Billion page views a month'#into conversations as early as possible bc they would Not believe me otherwise#it was right up there with having to say 'csam attacks' to get them to take my compartmentalization of information concerns seriously#turns out those are the magic words#otw#op
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I let myself rest and now I'm daydreaming about academia and academic research and writing again
#send help#academia#archaeology#i cant dedicate multiple years of my life to going back to do more study just bc im bored rn
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my parents are on holiday in their mobile home
they're expected back this upcoming weekend
I just spent ten days in my childhood home to keep an eye on things
I have hidden 100 small yellow ducks all over the house
I am very excited for my parents to be back
#dottie rambles#best part was just going about my day in the house and occasionally spotting one of the ducks i hid#hilarious#i did nunber them but did not document where i out them#i stuck one into the velcro of my dad's ski boot I'm very serious about this#they'll definitely find a couple on the first day bc i left some in very obvious places
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I need to share how the IT guy at work greeted my department on CrowdStrike Blue Screen Friday. Never have I seen a man so shocked by the sight of perfectly functional computers
(They were off during the update)
#crowdstrike#blue screen of death#current events#not fandom#srry I know it’s not Brothers Keeper but I had to share lmao#he genuinely came in and shouted ‘WHAT’ at us#no hello or anything#this after I’d just realized we were mostly alone in the building bc everyone else gave up and went home while I was at lunch
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x03 - “Finally Got The Name Right”
#i just wanna say i lost my mind coloring this scene bc its so dark and now im gonna go make gifs for the day pls expect to be spammed lmao#happy sunday everyone im awake now so have some gays making out in 4k#arcane#arcaneedit#wlwedit#caitvi#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane s2#piltover's finesst#caitvi kiss#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#vi#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#media: arcane#type: gif#s2 ep3
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Sometimes I wish we would start calling out the performative radicalism on this site for the poser bullshit it is. "Remember, it's always morally correct to kill a cop!" "Don't forget to firebomb your local government office!" "Wow, it sure would be a shame if these instructions on how to make a molotov cocktail got spread around!"
Okay. But you're not killing cops or firebombing government offices. You are posting on a dying microblogging website to a carefully-curated echo chamber that has radicalized itself into thinking that taking the absolute most extreme position on any subject is praxis but that anyone discussing the most practical way to effect actual change is your sworn enemy. You do not have the street cred OR the activist cred to be talking about killing cops, babe.
#thinking about the person i saw saying that if you're at a protest#and other protesters try to stop you from becoming violent you should just kill them bc 'peace police are still police'#even taken as hyperbole that's simply dumb as shit on every conceivable level#it's also pretty blatantly hypocritical coming from people who are usually self-avowed prison/death penalty abolitionists#like i'm sorry but you don't get to be a death penalty abolitionist and also call for the death of your political enemies online#this isn't a major issue or anything i'm just bored and annoyed
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People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.
For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.
The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.
So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.
Edit: if you are able, use $5 you would otherwise use for a streaming subscription to donate to a GazaFunds campaign.
#edit: go to https://gazafunds.org/ and donate $5 you would otherwise spend on streaming services on a campaign!#ra speaks#piracy#media piracy#pirate to make hondo ohnaka proud#obligatory ‘don’t fucking pirate small authors/artists works wtf dude’ statement.#anyone who’s seen my media bitching before knows I’m a hype man for indie films this ain’t about them#this is about corporate streaming services killing physical media bc sales numbers are less impressive than number of streams#edit: USAmericans stop telling me to buy DVDs and blurays at Walmart. think outside your borders for a hot sec. fun thought exercise.#your experiences are not universal#edit: WHO GOT THIS TO 100k. I JUST WANT TO TALK (this post is my second to hit 100k woahg.)#in other news: fix your fucking posture. drink some fucking water. and go the fuck to bed if it’s late bc it’s for me rn. peace and light.
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