#sorry i just have a lot of reiko and takashi thoughts. and tell me your name has set the floodgates free haha 😭 i hope this makes sense 😭

[souenkun]

Takashi living the warm, full-of-love life that reiko couldn't have (as far as we know in the current canon) feels very much like the grief that dawns for children when they finally realized how much sacrifice their parents didn't always tell them just to give birth and raise them.

Like, technically speaking, reiko only gave takashi a world of problems by passing down the sight and the book of friends decades after her death, but takashi also grasped the wholesome and the awful parts of interacting with both humans and youkai from the memories she had left behind, scattered among all these eternal monsters she had defeated, leaving in them unintentional, but important life lessons for him to find later on in the future. If it weren't for all those societal rejections that reiko received from humans and the hardships from youkai that led her to start the book of friends, takashi wouldn't be able to avoid repeating her mistakes (and, consequently, could be just as comfortable with isolation like reiko was), let alone make the precious balance we now see him have in the present time, where he can make genuine connections with humans and youkai while also maintaining a balance to them. Do you get what I'm saying 💔

[renkocchi]

Don't let the secret be known

Part 1, maybe. I’m not sure if I’m going to continue this ahahah… With the help of @notkreti hehe :>

Natsume had just returned from school, on that windy summer day. He climbed up the stairs to his room and sat himself on the floor after cautiously placing the Book of Friends on his desk. He began eating the ice cream Touko  had bought for him while reading a book. The wind chime made a pleasant sound. Touko's  soft voice could be heard, ever so slightly. She must have been talking on the phone. Nyanko-sensei was nowhere to be found in the house -no wonder it was so quiet. Natsume lied down and closed his eyes. He let the breeze stroke his face.   “I have found you…” He heard a whisper and jumped up.   “Who’s there…?” He said in a low voice so as to not be heard by Touko.   “I have found you, loathed Reiko…” The same whisper was heard but nothing could be seen around him.   A youkai? Where is it… The wind chime stopped making any sound whatsoever, even though the wind was still blowing quite strongly outside the window. His eyes rushed to the chime but nothing was there. A foot with seven toes slade down from the roof, and the other one followed.   “Uwah…” He grabbed the Book of Friends and took some steps backwards. The Youkai was tall. It’s body was covered by a black kimono and it’s face, covered with a mask, was looking through Natsume’s window now. His room was on the second floor. A giant hand stretched towards him, too fast for him to dodge.   “I shall have my revenge…”   “Ugh!” His bones would be crushed at this rate, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t yell for help. His feet were not touching the floor. “Guh…”   “Takashi? Is there something wrong?” Touko was close to his room.   *no, no…*   “Let me go…”   “I shall have my revenge!” The Youkai yelled and Natsume let out a cry.   “Let go!!”   “Takashi?!” Touko rushed inside with a face full of worry, only to freeze at the sight of Natsume floating above almost half a meter the floor, talking to something that she could not see, obviously in pain. The Youkai disappeared right away, as soon as Touko entered the room. Natsume crushed on the floor, unable to move.   “Touko…” He whispered when he saw her expression. She had gone pale, and she was wearing a face Natsume had never seen on her before. Was it fear?   *no, it’s the same…* The same as everyone else. His heart was pounding so fast. It was as if it was trying to escape from his chest.   *I don’t want to leave this place…*   “Ta… Takashi…” she managed to say with a trembling voice. Natsume couldn’t look her in the eyes.   “Yes…” He murmured, failing an attempt to get up and pretend nothing happened.   “My God… are you okay? Wait a second, I… I’m going to get the first-aid kit.”   “Eh?” Touko rushed out of the room, leaving him dumbfounded. His eyelids felt heavy and he was in a daze. Nyanko-sensei snuck inside the room from the window.   “I’m ba– Fool, Natsume, did you return another name?”   “Sensei…” He muttered before his eyes closed.

  “Liar, liar…"  “why do you lie like that?"  "He’s creepy, he says he can see things… he messed up the room today again…”   “This is your home now, Takashi…”   *She found out… She looked at me like everyone else… ah, I can’t stay here anymore. I’ve caused trouble yet again… maybe it will be better if I just…*   “Takashi? Takashi?” A voice he knew was calling him. He opened his eyes.   “Touko…”   “Thank goodness, are you okay? You have a fever, drink your medicine.”   “Touko, I’m…” He tried to push his body up.   “You’re sick and you must rest.” She was wearing her usual, kind expression. Natsume looked over at Nyanko-sensei, who was signaling him that everything was under control. Even though his body hurt, he pulled his upper body up and drank the medicine. Touko flashed a smile and left the room. He fell back down on his futon.   “Hinoe was watching. She told me everything and erased Touko’s memories of the incident.”    “Thank goodness… I didn’t want her to know. I wouldn’t be able to stay here if she did…”    “Idiot.”

  Natsume closed his eyes once again, trying to remember what exactly had happened. The masked Youkai, a sharp pain, and Touko. At that time, she didn’t comment on anything. Not on the fact that he was floating before her eyes -since she couldn’t see the Youkai- and not to the fact that he was yelling at nothingness.

He felt so pressured. What if something had gone wrong, and Touko did know everything? She must have heard bad things about him from other relatives, she must have suspected things. But still, up until now, she kept looking at him with different eyes from everyone else. Up until now. He couldn’t shake off the memory of the look in her eyes. Pity and fear, all mixed with a great amount of disgust. He didn’t want to believe that Touko could put on a face like that.

That night, Natsume had a dream. The masked Youkai from earlier was walking around the woods aimlessly during a cold winter day. “I wonder, I wonder…” it kept mumbling “I wonder where I shall find a worthy opponent.” its smile was ominous. Soon enough, Reiko’s figure could be seen in the snow. The conversation between the two could not be heard, but the usual phrase reached Natsume’s ears. “…If you beat me, you can even eat me…” As expected, the winner was Reiko. And the Youkai didn’t like its loss. It began following Reiko around, causing trouble for her or her relatives and classmates. Reiko was annoyed, so annoyed that she was looking for ways to seal the Youkai. And she had succeed, but now the seal was broken. The mask viewed the monster’s emotions, and Natsume, through both his eyes and the memory, had seen hate, the desire to take its revenge, annoyance, fear and questioning, but never ease, or joy. And that scared him the most. He liked to believe that like in people, Youkai too can be either good or evil. But lately, he began thinking that nobody is necessarily representing only one of the two. Nobody reflects evil only, and nobody reflects goodness only. And it would be great if that was the case with the Youkai too. But this one seemed to have decided its path.

A sudden movement of something huge made him open his eyes. Nyanko-sensei, now transformed into the white beast, Madara, was moving his tale back and forth, while looking out of the window with an intimidating look. “Tch, that damned thing’s fast.” Natsume’s physical pain had not subdued, but he jerked his body up nonetheless, placing his hands on the beast’s fur. Madara could tell the human’s small palms were trembling, and he knew that the boy knew team Youkai’s past through the dream. “What… happened, Sensei? The question came out as a whisper, and Madara only let out sigh before a small sound and a gust of wind turn him into the round cat he usually went around as. "It tried to sneak into the house -but since I was here, it didn’t dare get close. You’d better buy me something as thanks.” The cat sneered, and the boy looked at it’s eyes kindly, before relief rushed through his body and he fell back down on the futon. The coming days were sure to be trouble.

Touko let Natsume go to school two days after the incident. Thankfully, that horrible, horrible look had never appeared in her eyes again. But even if it did, Natsume already knew from that one instant, that Touko too could think of him just like everyone else did, before her. “I’m going now.” With that phrase, he greeted the couple and went on his way, with his round bodyguard at his side. And that road to school was when it all began going downhill. “Natsume, good morning.” The boy patted his friend’s shoulder. “Good morning, Nishimura.” He felt a bit relieves to see his friend doing well, he’d made a lot of worst case scenarios in his head the past two days. “Are you okay now? Touko told me you were sick.” “Yeah, I’m fine now, thanks. Other than that, are you okay?” “Yeah, why?” As he said that, Nishimura felt pinned to the ground. He couldn’t take another step. And Natsume could see just what was pinning down his friend. And what was approaching them in the middle of the road was a vehicle. *I have to do something!*

The masked Youkai might as well have been laughing at the boy’s frustration, even if it thought he was Reiko. “Natsume, so something!” The van was rapidly approaching, and the only thing Natsume could do, seeing as he couldn’t push the Youkai away, was command Sensei to exorcise it. “Natsume!” And that’s what he did. The strong light flashed before his eyes, but the Youkai managed to get away safe. Natsume pushed Nishimura out of the road. He was scared stiff.

“Na… Natsume, what just happened…?” He whispered, trembling as he saw the van pass by them. The blond boy had teared up, but he didn’t want to let Nishimura see him like that. Well, at least not when he was already crying. He had priority, and he deserved an explanation. One that Natsume could not give him. So when he opened his mouth, nothing but one phrase came out.

“I’m sorry… Nishimura, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” that was what he had always feared. Getting someone involved, hurting someone he cared about only because he could see. Only because he happened to be Reiko’s relative. “It’s all my fault, I’m sorry…” “Can you tell me just what happened? There’s no need to apologise, you didn’t do anything…” Nishimura’s tears had stopped falling by now, but his trembling was still there, intense and probably unstoppable. Natsume couldn’t possibly explain what caused this near death experience to his friend. “I’ll take you home….” He muttered and helped him get up. “Thanks.” He too, decided not to question it. Natsume seemed even more scared than he was, so it was probably better to let it go and discuss it another time. Whatever it was, it seemed to be troubling Natsume quite a lot and Nishimura didn’t really like that.

Natsume went straight back to the Fujiwaras’ house after making sure Nishimura was home, safe and sound. He gave all kinds of explanations to Touko and finally went back to his room, ready to break down. And just as he had began crying, feeling regret with every bit of his soul, she walked inside. He didn’t even notice her wrapping her hands around him, not until he felt her warmth. And it felt, so, so comfortable in her arms. He had never known a mother’s warmth but he guessed that was it. “It will be okay.” Touko muttered kindly, and Natsume sunk inside an otherworldly warmth.