#and i just have a personal gut feeling that it would be jiang cheng

[twistedappletree]

i’m in that part of youtube again

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

Another mixed concept and scene snippet post from twitter. This one I actually hammered out a quick ending to!

Nie Huaisang is the insecure one of the relationship for a change. 

Even though they’ve been together from the end of lectures all the way through the Sunshot Campaign, even though Jiang Cheng always turns them down, even though Jiang Cheng chased off the matchmakers, there's always someone drawn in by Jiang Cheng’s pretty face or the allure of the Jiang-furen. 

And, eventually, Jiang Cheng will have to find himself a wife. 

An actual wife. 

Nie Huaisang can handle dealing with merchants and accounts and stuff like that, he’d even force himself to do it for the rest of his life if he has to, but there's so much more that would be expected of a wife and even if he were to learn it all, the etiquette and everything, he's still not a woman. He can’t give Jiang Cheng heirs of his own bloodline, and he knows how important that is.

So even though he does his best to help out with rebuilding the Pier, Nie Huaisang makes himself scarce if there's even a hint of flirting because if this is going to be the one that Jiang Cheng reciprocates, he doesn't want to be there to see it.

He even stays through the fallout and the first siege, only for a new problem to pop up as the dust settles.

On top of everything else, Jin Ling can’t stand him. Even at that age where babies are upset about everything, it's clear Nie Huaisang is his least favorite adult, even though Nie Huaisang is doing his best, and is actually doing things correctly 95% of the time.

It's absolutely crushing. It's worse than the flirting, worse than the proposal letters, because he knows more than anything, Jiang Cheng needs a partner who can do right by his nephew.

As Jin Ling howls angrily in his arms, only to immediately quiet as soon as someone else takes him, Nie Huaisang finally starts contemplating throwing in the towel and letting Jiang Cheng find someone who actually deserves to be by his side. 

And eventually… he does give up and break things off. 

Not wanting to leave Jiang Cheng feeling like he's in the wrong, he explains everything before he quietly goes back to Qinghe.

Unbeknownst to him, Jiang Cheng takes this as a challenge. 

Nie Huaisang left because people wanted him to marry better? Fine! He finally accepts the matchmakers' attempts to set him up, and then purposely bombs the dates. When rumors start getting out, he pays the matchmakers to support them.

He can't do anything about the fact that Jin Ling doesn't like Nie Huaisang, and that guts him, because his nephew comes first. But Jin Ling's a baby, surely his opinion will change as he grows? 

Right?

He can make this work. He will make this work.

It's been a year and a half since he and Nie Huaisang have seen each other in person, but they've been tentatively exchanging letters. 

When Jiang Cheng arrives at the conference in Qinghe, he takes the first day to gather his nerves. On the second day, he thinks he's ready.

And then the screaming panic erupts in the courtyard.

---

From there, it goes as canon did. Nie Huaisang grows distant as he sinks into grief and revenge and Jiang Cheng throws himself into running the sect and raising Jin Ling. 

(Neither of them ever tells Jin Ling about their history together, so he grows up having never known they were even an item, just that Nie Huaisang is that weird annoying guy who's always pestering shushu. Ironic that he ends up remaining completely disdainful of Nie Huaisang his whole childhood, but for totally different reasons.)

It's painful and bewildering to see the way Nie Huaisang acts around Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao, because Nie Huaisang wasn't that clingy with him even when they were lovers.

(Once the final confrontation at the temple concludes, Jiang Cheng realizes that Nie Huaisang might have been shielding him from All Of That, but he's still kind of hurt and confused.)

Something forces them to talk: Jin Ling eventually does find out about their backstory.

Not the actual backstory, of course, but during a 'friendly' night hunt, Wei Wuxian offhandedly muses about the fact that Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang aren't together anymore.

Wait, when were they ever together???? 

"Oh, it ended before you were even old enough to remember?" Wei Wuxian asks. "Though I guess that's not surprising, since you were only three when Chifeng-zun died."

"It was probably because even they couldn't stand each other for long," Lan Jingyi says, earning a swat from Ouyang Zizhen.

But Wei Wuxian just grins and says "Yeah, that's probable, too," or something like that. Jin Ling doesn't really hear it clearly because he's already mad and stewing in his own thoughts.

His jiujiu-! With that guy-!

And he's going to get to the bottom of this. Since his jiujiu never said anything about Nie-zongzhu all those years, good or bad, he knows he won't get any information that way, and even though he grew up seeing Nie-zongzhu as a silly harmless annoyance, recent discussions mean he doesn't feel comfortable going to the Unclean Realms either.

Time to start asking the Jiang sect’s second-in-command some questions. 

---

Jin Ling doesn’t get much, but he gets enough that he knows he’s going to have to press Nie-zongzhu for the full story. 

So he sucks up his nerve and heads to the Unclean Realms.

He’s received with little fanfare, but when Nie Huaisang offers tea, he can tell by the smell that it’s his jiujiu’s favorite, and he can’t help but wonder which of them loved it first.

It throws him off guard enough that rather than the snippy confrontation he had been planning on the way over, the first question out of his mouth is “Do you regret any of it?”

Nie Huaisang tilts his head, expression uncomfortably probing. Jin Ling braces himself for the usual deflections and protestations of ignorance, but whatever Nie Huaisang sees makes him simply sigh instead. “Your shenshen. I never predicted she would react the way she did. I thought she would go home to her parents.”

“What about the cu- Mo Xuanyu? Did you make him do it?”

“No. It was his idea to begin with, actually. But there was a possibility, however small, that I could have stopped him, and I never tried.”

Jin Ling is… not sure exactly how he feels about the answers he’s been given. But he does believe them. So he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, lets it out… and without any of the irritation he’d been carrying with him on the way, asks the question that has really sparked this visit.

“Did you break up with jiujiu because of me?”

Nie Huaisang chokes on his tea. “Where did you hear that from?” he wheezes after getting the coughing under control.

“Not any one person in particular. I heard you’d been together from shijiu, and started putting the pieces together after talking to some others,” Jin Ling only partially lies, not wanting to put his jiujiu’s second in any possible line of fire. “Did you?”

Nie Huaisang rubs between his eyes, and it looks like he won’t answer at first. “It wasn’t your fault,” he finally says. “There were over a dozen different issues that probably would have sunk us eventually. We’d been keeping the relationship quiet during the rebuilding, so there were potential wives being tossed in his path constantly, none of which I could measure up to.”

“He would have picked you anyway,” Jin Ling says, eyes narrowed. “So tell me the real reason.”

“I did. Choosing me would have only put more stress on him, especially since-”

“Since what?”

“Since nothing.”

“So it did have something to do with me.”

“Jin-zongzhu-”

“Tell me,” Jin Ling insists, practically leaning over the table.

Nie Huaisang scrubs his face with his hands. “Fine. Fine. I hated seeing how miserable he was having to split time between us because you screamed yourself blue if someone tried to hand you to me. I wasn’t going to make him choose, and I wasn’t going to make him feel guilty when he inevitably chose you. It was better for both of you to just take myself out of the running.”

Jin Ling sits back down and processes this, remembering all the times he’d heard his jiujiu absolutely shut down a dinner date with anyone. How he always changed the subject when Jin Ling brought up the question of why he hadn't married yet.

He must have been missing Nie Huaisang the whole time, and it’s clear just from watching Nie Huaisang during this discussion that he’d been hurting too. And yet they’d never breathed a word about it around him because they didn’t want him thinking he’d ruined things for them.

“Okay,” he says finally. “I’m summoning jiujiu here and we’re discussing this in full.”

“What?”

—

Things finally seem to be going well. With Jin Ling's blessing, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang are tentatively mending the bond between them.

And then a night hunt goes horribly wrong, with Jiang Cheng taking a blow that would have killed his nephew and once-shixiong. Much to everyone's surprise, including his own, he ascends.

As a god of devotion.

He laughs until he realizes the other gods are serious, and then he's bewildered and angry because why him?

Worst of all, he can't leave the heavens without permission for literal years because he has to 'settle in' first, which just seems like a lot of bureaucratic bullshit to him.

—

Of course he goes to Jin Ling first, who's now fully-grown and well-established, but still greets him with tears and a fierce hug like a kid. After they've spent almost the whole day catching up, Jin Ling suddenly gets very quiet and serious. "You might want to go see Huaisang next. Before it's too late."

Jiang Cheng stiffens. "I was already planning on it, but what the hell do you mean 'too late'?"

"He's... really not been doing well since you ascended. I think the only things still keeping him alive at this point are his promise to his brother and the fact that the disciples insist on taking care of him even though he abdicated."

Jiang Cheng feels sick, because he knows.

He knows why.

He thanks Jin Ling and, in a blink, he's at the Unclean Realms. Ignoring the stunned reactions, he turns to the man he recognizes as having been the head disciple the last time he visited and is likely the sect leader now. "Where is he?"

He's guided to a set of rooms deep in the side of the mountain, where the only light is from torches and lanterns and candles. When he enters the door indicated for him, the sight inside makes his stomach drop.

Nie Huaisang is sleeping on a bed of furs and soft pillows, an array Jiang Cheng can't identify stitched over the chest of carefully arranged robes. Despite the fact that his face is still smooth and unlined, there are silver streaks among the braids in his hair. He's far too thin and just... looks ill. 

Kneeling beside the low bed, Jiang Cheng reaches out to touch his cheek, his hair, something, but his presence rouses his former lover before he can make contact.

Nie Huaisang blinks at him, then smiles, but his gaze isn't focusing right. "Ah, Cheng-er, look at you," he murmurs, barely audible. "Always knew you were too good for a monster like me."

—

Nie Huaisang only lives long enough to complete the purification ritual.

Jiang Cheng decides to remain on earth, waiting. He passes the time by occasionally checking in with the sect, or with Jin Ling, or even with Wei Wuxian, the shock of his ascension having forced them to have some very weighty conversations.

It takes another fifty years, but eventually he crosses paths with a young man who has familiar green eyes and an even more familiar infectious laugh. 

[robsterskellington]

I wrote a bit more. Continued from this:

(Basically, what would happen if Wei Wuxian woke up in the Burial Mounds after being thrown down by Wen Chao, but all of his memories from before then were intact- meaning from long after he and Lan Wangji got married)

It was strange, reclaiming the Lotus Pier with Lan Wangji at his side, but Wei Wuxian couldn't deny that he felt calmer for it. He didn't know what he was going to do about their feelings- Lan Wangji never had the guts to talk to him personally, and while he took Wei Wuxian's first kiss, it was only because he saw an opportunity while he was blindfolded. But the problem now was that if Wei Wuxian confessed now, it might be seen as insincere.

Hell, so much he could change would look strange; he'd try and be kinder towards Jin Zixuan, especially knowing now that he truly was his Shijie's one true love, he'd be more respectful of Jiang Cheng's duties and not shun him... but some things had already changed, and it made him unbelievably happy. Wen Ning had been so happy to see Wei Wuxian, and he couldn't resist hugging him- Wei Wuxian didn't want his Ghost General by his side, he wanted this man to live as good a life as possible.

Last time, the problem had been that not all of the Wens who survived the Sunshot Campaign were willing to discard their family name. This time was different- Wei Wuxian never hid the fact that he was protecting the Wens in Yiling and they heard him out, before ultimately agreeing that it was more beneficial to them to leave Qishan behind them, for their lives and futures weren't worth discarding. Thus, Wen Ning was now Jiang Ning, just as many others had changed their family name to match their new Clans.

Lan Wangji informed Wei Wuxian about A-yuan, and how he was now Lan Yuan, until they could come up with a good curtesy name. It took everything in Wei Wuxian to keep his mouth shut, for once.

They stepped into the main hall, and Wei Wuxian felt so much agony in his heart. Jiang Cheng looked at him and went to reach for him, but Wei Wuxian whispered, "Madam Yu was always right about me, wasn't she? Our Clan fell, she and Uncle Jiang died... and it was all my fault. I know that 'sorry' won't make up for all the lives lost, but I don't know what else to do or say to apologise or make amends."

"Mom said a lot of things, Wei Wuxian. And I never did enough to fight for you, so you don't need to apologise." Wei Wuxian gave him a funny look- Jiang Cheng *always* argued against Madam Yu when she punished Wei Wuxian, stating that it wasn't fair that he got beaten or scolded so frequently. He obviously couldn't take any punishment for Wei Wuxian, because he never did anything that warranted a punishment. Jiang Cheng sighed, "Just... you mentioned not being able to go down a normal path. Why not?"

"Way to change the subject," He chuckled weakly before indicating for Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji to sit with him. That was when he finally told the truth, himself: "I can't cultivate anymore. I don't have a Golden Core."

Both of them looked stunned as Wei Wuxian proved it, unsheathing Suibian and revealing that he couldn't use it with spiritual energy, it just wasn't possible. In a panic, Lan Wangji grabbed Wei Wuxian and tried to give him his own spiritual energy, only to see that there truly was no Golden Core to put it in. He started to tremble, and Wei Wuxian gently took his hand and held it. When Lan Wangji didn't pull away, Wei Wuxian gently squeezed it.

Jiang Cheng looked like he would throw up, but then blurted, "Baoshan Sanren! Can't we go to her, and tell her the truth?!"

"No. That was the biggest lie I've ever told you. Here's the truth: *I have no idea where Baoshan Sanren resides*. Even if I did, just because my mother was Cangse Sanren, there was no guarantees that she would help me." He looked down and took a shuddering breath, "The reason I was willing to trust Wen Qing before, was because she was a famous doctor who had a brilliant theory-"

"It's *Jiang* Qing, actually." The men looked up to see the aforementioned doctor, exhausted but grinning when she saw Wei Wuxian alive, wearing the purple robes of the Yunmeng Jiang Clan. "Though *do* keep flattering me, and after, you need food and some fucking sleep. You look dreadful."

"Wow, thanks a lot. Bitch." They both laughed, but Wei Wuxian knew he had to be completely serious. He looked at Jiang Cheng's horrified face and sighed, "Jiang Qing had theorised that someone could have their Golden Core removed and transferred into another person. When you lost yours, I knew what I had to do to secure your future."

Lan Wangji gasped softly and Jiang Cheng's eyes filled with tears, as Wei Wuxian moved his robes aside to reveal the scar and stitching on his abdomen. To prove the point further, he held out Suibian to Jiang Cheng, who unsheathed it and watched it radiate with a red aura. This was what Wei Wuxian had done, for him. And he still asked how he could possibly make up for everything? He'd already sacrificed his future, his powers, and he knew that people would fear him for using the dark arts. "...why..? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't risk you refusing." That was the final truth of the matter. Jiang Cheng knew that if Wei Wuxian had suggested it before, he absolutely wouldn't have accepted. How could something be so selfish yet selfless at the same time? He looked at the incision, and silently asked Wei Wuxian, who shook his head, "I don't want to talk about it. All I'll say is that I can't gain a Golden Core by traditional methods anymore. However..." he reached into his sleeve and pulled out a shining Golden Core.

Lan Wangji's eyes widened, "Wen Zhuliu's Golden Core. You stole it. Then..." they looked at Jiang Qing who took it and examined it, "Is it possible?"

"I'll have to test it to see. Like transferring organs or blood, some Golden Cores may not be compatible with certain people. It's unfortunately very complicated. It was lucky to have worked the first time, there was a less than fifty percent chance of it working." Jiang Qing missed how Jiang Cheng nearly passed out from that knowledge, knowing that one of his siblings nearly died so he could have the means to use spiritual energy.

Wei Wuxian kept hope in his heart. If this worked, the Golden Core would repell the resentful energy inside him, and he could go back to how it was before. If it failed, then he'd simply have to be more careful. He'd do whatever he could to benefit the cultivation world, just as he'd done before with his Spirit Lure Flags and knowledge of monsters. He just hoped that he didn't screw up as badly. Thinking about all the mistakes he'd made, even though not all were his fault, made him depressed beyond words.

Jiang Qing put the Golden Core to his chest, but it refused to go in- when they put Wei Wuxian's Golden Core into Jiang Cheng, it had immediately sank into his chest and settled, like it belonged there. Wen Zhuliu's Golden Core was just as stubborn as the man himself had been, and Jiang Qing shook her head solemnly, "I'm sorry, Wei Wuxian."

"Can't he take his back?" Wei Wuxian was about to tell Jiang Cheng to shut up, but he continued, "I'll find another way. This isn't fair on him, he's done more than enough for me and my family!"

"No. Golden Core's are incredibly strong, but even they feel strain. It probably wouldn't survive the strain of being torn out of a body again, especially when you would have to stay conscious the entire time it's removed." She put the Golden Core in a pouch and sighed, "Wei Wuxian stayed awake for nearly three days when we removed his."

"So... Wei Ying is stuck on this path?" Jiang Qing nodded to Lan Wangji, who didn't even know what to do or say. He'd hoped that if Wei Wuxian had come to Guzu with him, Lan Wangji could expell the resentful energy and guide him back to a normal path, then it could go back to how things should be. But there was nothing anyone in the world could do, now.

Wei Wuxian sighed then shrugged, "Fine, then." Lan Wangji flinched but Wei Wuxian crossed his arms, "If I'm stuck on this dark and narrow path, I'll find a way to stabilise it. I already know a lot of things I can use this power for, ways in which I can help people. So I will. Obviously I'll need help from time to time, and if there's any chance of me losing control of my temperament, then I definitely need you guys."

"As if you could get rid of us so easily, Wei Wuxian." Jiang Cheng finally smiled, albeit weakly. "This is your home. Will you still be going to Guzu on occasion once this is over?"

"If Lan Zhan wants me to." He turned to look at Lan Wangji and spoke softly, "I know I annoyed you in the past, and I understand if... if you hate me, but... please don't give up on me, Lan Zhan."

"...never." His voice had been so soft, that Wei Wuxian tilted his head, and Lan Wangji looked into his eyes, "I've never hated you. I will never give up on you. You're still *you*, even with this. I don't like that this path was chosen for you, because that's exactly what happened, isn't it?"

At last, everyone understood why Wei Wuxian was the only one to master Demonic Cultivation. A Golden Core rejects resentment, while someone who once cultivated would have a much stronger mind, body and soul; Wei Wuxian had the perfect form, but no Golden Core to protect him, making him the only one truly capable of harnessing this power. But he didn't choose it- he only accepted it when it was his only option, because dying should never have been in consideration.

Wei Wuxian smiled weakly and nodded, "Yeah. I even said before, after our first class together, that just being curious wasn't enough for me to want to throw away everything I'd worked for. I goofed off a lot, but I really did take everything I was taught seriously. I loved being able to use spiritual energy, to protect people, to use weapons at their full potential." He looked down, "Don't get me wrong, I find this path interesting, and power is always going to be addictive, but I didn't choose it."

Lan Wangji hated seeing Wei Wuxian upset, and spoke softly, "You're not alone. And we'll figure something out."

"That's enough of all that." They turned to see Jiang Yanli walk in, with a tray holding five bowls of soup, "I'm sorry for eavesdropping... I didn't know if I even had a right to say anything."

"It saves me from explaining things to you later, Shijie." Wei Wuxian had to stop himself from running into her arms, hugging her and crying. Instead, he took the soup she provided, and tilted his head at Lan Wangji's portion, "Is it a different colour?"

"I heard the Lan Clan aren't very good with spice, so I made sure not to add any. I didn't for yours either, Doctor Qing." Wei Wuxian grinned, loving how thoughtful she was.

Lan Wangji looked at the soup and sipped it, his face lighting up a little and he couldn't stop himself from smiling a little, "This is wonderful, thank you, Lady Jiang."

They all ate, none of them talking any more, just enjoying some comfort food in silence. Wei Wuxian felt like his very soul had healed, surrounded by the people who meant a lot to him. He'd asked about Jiang Ning, and Jiang Yanli assured him that she'd already given him some food, and that they could all take the time to rest.

This also gave time for Wei Wuxian to think about his next move. He'd already managed to do one thing differently: when Jin Zixuan had scolded Jiang Yanli during what had been dubbed 'the soup incident', instead of beating up the peacock, Wei Wuxian had pulled him aside and stated very bluntly that just because he felt nothing for Jiang Yanli, that didn't meant she felt nothing for him.

He'd been blunt and harsh with his words: "You only think you hate her because your marriage was *arranged*. If Madam Jin and Madam Yu hadn't decided before the two of you were even born that you'd get married, I'd bet my very soul that the two of you would have gotten along and maybe fallen in love on your own!" Jin Zixuan didn't know what to say, and he couldn't dispute his words. Wei Wuxian had remained calm and spoke softly, "Now you understand why Clan Leader Jiang and I were angry at you when we were kids. She adored you. Look, obviously I have no right to keep you away from her, but for now, both of you need some space. Besides, we have more pressing matters now, don't we?"

Jin Zixuan had indeed given Jiang Yanli some space, but it became obvious that it wasn't his choice- she wouldn't even glance his way anymore, and he realised just how badly he'd messed up. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were furious with him, but both of them focused on making her smile again, rather than focusing their anger on the asshole who made her cry.

Wei Wuxian snapped out of it when Lan Wangji looked at him with concern, but he just smiled. The smile quickly faded when he remembered what his next move was the last time- the creation of the Yin Tiger Tally. Knowing what it could lead to, he didn't want to create it, however it truly was the one weapon able to help them fight with a chance in the war. At least this time, he could ask someone else's opinion, "Lan Zhan. You remember that sword I found, back in the Xuanwu of Slaughter's cave?"

"Mn. It was a strange sword, you were holding onto it when we killed the monster. What of it?" He was curious, but a little worried about where this was going.

"It was full of resentful energy from those who died, eaten alive by the tortoise, but it also had the Sin of Murder within it. It's likely that if melted and reforged, it would make a very powerful spiritual weapon. It has more power than even I ever will, and that boost of strength could be just what we need for winning this war." The issue was how risky it would be. After all, literally anyone could use the Yin Tiger Tally, Jin Guangyao proved that before he died in the future- his brain hated using past tense to refer to a future event, but obviously that was what his life had come to.

It would absolutely give him the strength to win, but he also had to remember that no matter how skilled he was, it was impossible to control that amount of corpses alone. Even during the fall of Nightless City, Wei Wuxian had put everything into summoning zombies to just attack the Wens, but couldn't stop the zombies from also attacking their own men. It was counterproductive, and just senseless killing. Perhaps he could try and simply lay siege to Nightless City on his own, but if he was overwhelmed, he'd die again. That was if the people who wanted revenge wouldn't just come and attack anyway, getting in the way.

"*No*." He blinked and looked up at Lan Wangji, his expression stoney and stern, "Even with your powers, there's no guarantee that it wouldn't harm *you*. If there's no other way, then I'll help you. But please, consider this a last resort only." His expression softened a little when he saw a look of powerlessness in Wei Wuxian's eyes, "You're strong, Wei Ying. But you're not invincible, and I don't want you getting hurt again. Losing you once, it-"

He cut himself off, but he'd already been heard. His ears went red, and Wei Wuxian hid his smile. Obviously the in character thing to do right now would be to tease him for his slip up, but unfortunately, this mind of his had memories of tender moments and a heart filled with love for this person. So, Wei Wuxian instead took Lan Wangji's hands and looked into his beautiful golden eyes, "Okay. I trust your words, because you've already proven that you're just looking out for me. You won't lose me again, and I'll push that idea into the back of my mind. If there's no other choice, I'll create the weapon. If we can win without it, then that's that."

Lan Wangji found himself unable to pull away, or call Wei Wuxian shameless again. He just squeezed the hands in his, and looked into Wei Wuxian's cloudy grey eyes before stating sternly, "You need to sleep. You're exhausted. We have time to rest, you need to take it." He wasn't quite sure what came over him, but he grabbed Wei Wuxian, scooping him into his arms and looking at Jiang Cheng, "Bedroom?"

Jiang Cheng just stuttered the direction of Wei Wuxian's bedroom and watched Lan Wangji run off with his older brother in a bridal carry, "...what the fuck just happened?"

Jiang Qing smirked and Jiang Yanli tilted her head, "That explains why A-xian never spoke of any interest in any woman. Though I wonder why he never told us he was interested in Second Master Lan? Did he think we wouldn't accept him?"

They didn't actually do anything, which both relieved and disappointed Wei Wuxian- relieved because he didn't want to rush their relationship and risk ruining anything, but disappointed because he *never* got to be this close to his husband at this point in their lives. The Wen Clan had actually taken good care of the Lotus Pier, so his old bedroom was still intact and similar to how it had been before, thankfully. Lan Wangji laid him in bed, and just sat on the chair beside him, "Sleep. I'll watch over you, and wake you if anything happens."

Wei Wuxian *was* beyond exhausted. But he desired to be closer to Lan Wangji, it was just really difficult. They were still kids, in a way. He yawned, but couldn't settle. Lan Wangji could see that it wasn't on purpose, it was like Wei Wuxian's consciousness was stubbornly keeping him up, when Wei Wuxian himself just wanted a good night's sleep. He took Wangji from his back and slowly started to play the song he'd written, the song Wei Wuxian used to communicate that he was still alive in the Burial Mounds.

He played wangxian, humming slightly to his own melody, and watched as Wei Wuxian slowly stopped fidgeting, and finally relaxed, even letting out little snores. Lan Wangji stopped playing, and watched over him slightly, gently moving Wei Wuxian's hair out of his face, before whispering, "I honestly thought you would tell me that you aren't mine to lose. I'm glad you didn't, because that would have been wrong. I want to protect you, Wei Ying. Let me. *Please*."

There was no response, Wei Wuxian was too busy dreaming, and Lan Wangji just sighed with relief. Things would be okay, he'd make sure of it.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

obvs i’d never harsh on any jgy fans who do find something inherently gothic horror romantic about the get-along crypt ending for jgy and nmj, like nie//yao being a personal yuck for me does not mean someone else is not totally allowed to eat that up to get their daily allotment of shipping calories

but i do just feel pretty strongly that in canon, the text conveys The Horrors of that moment to such an extent that there is no justice in that ending. certainly not for jgy, who is denied justice for all wrongs done to him at every turn in the novel, but not for nmj either. neither of them are granted peace, either, which i suppose is something that, on some level, nhs had been *hoping* this would give to nmj?? (maybe?) and of course we have to acknowledge that, in addition to jin ling’s gut-wrenching reaction to jgy’s death in the novel—what a horrible thing for a child to witness happen to one of his two principle caretakers—this is what happens in cql:

like… god, look at how distraught jin ling is. how he goes to his knees as the temple collapses atop his shushu. how gutted jiang cheng is for the pain his nephew is in. the resignation in wei wuxian’s eyes, because he knows this is not a triumphant moment for everyone, and it is in part a consequence of his own investigations. (hello huaisang, i see your deer in the headlights stare.) i’ve already talked about lan xichen at this moment; i’ll leave out lengthier discussion of him for now just because i want to keep the focus on jin ling specifically, but i think framing jgy’s death with both lxc and jl’s grief and anguish really provides good evidence for how much of a tragedy this moment is.

[silverflame2724]

JC badgers a sleep deprived WWX to start carrying Suibian, WWX more than a little out of his head with trauma makes a spite talisman and teleports himself to Gusa (specifically LWJs home).

LWJ has just arrived in Yunmeng and learns WWX has vanished, he returns to Gusa to discover WWX asleep in his bed. WWX is wary of being turned over (to either Lan or Jiang) for punishment and is surprised when LWJ promises to keep WWXs presence in Gusa a secret.

Cue WWXs fantasy daily domestic cottagecore roommates to lovers fantasy coming true early.

For context, this take place a few days after the Phoenix Mountain hunt. 

_________________________________________

Wei Wuxian was exhausted. He hadn’t been getting any sleep due to the nightmares clouding his mind all the time and it was eating at his health and his sanity. He didn’t know how much longer he could go on before he passed out and was running out of excuses to not see the healer about this.

The stress of his duties as head disciple combined with his insomnia all came to a head one day when Jiang Cheng pushed for him to carry Suibian and did not stop asking, even resorting to backing Wei Wuxian into a wall and scowling at him.

All of Wei Wuxian’s instincts screamed for him to get away and the resentful energy writhed underneath his skin, itching for a fight.

He was so tired of Jiang Cheng asking this that he used an excuse that was a little closer to the truth. “Well, if Yu-furen hadn’t shredded my back muscles with Zidian, maybe I could wield my sword!!” Wei Wuxian yelled.

Jiang Cheng froze at that moment, which gave Wei Wuxian the chance to push him away and escape to his room. He sealed his door and windows with a locking talisman and had a private breakdown, sinking to his knees.

Because it was true. Even if Wei Wuxian hadn’t given up his core, the sheer extent of damage Yu-furen had given him had basically crippled him. He wouldn’t be able to use his sword.

I’ m so tired. Wei Wuxian thought. He just wanted to get away from them all.

His gaze drifted off to his table where various inventions could be seen casually lying around. After all, he might not be able to properly do his work as a head disciple, but he still wanted to give back to the sect and creating new talismans and trinkets to help with night hunting was easy to make. One of the talismans he had been working on was a teleportation talisman that used the natural energy of its surroundings to activate rather than the spiritual energy of a cultivator.

It was perfect for a coreless person like Wei Wuxian.

Besides, Wei Wuxian didn’t want to face Jiang Cheng. He knew that any mention of his brother’s mother would send him into a fit.

Wei Wuxian rubbed his neck, remembering the feeling of Jiang Cheng’s hands around his neck.

He gathered up all his stuff as well as a money pouch and used the talisman. He wasn’t sure how far it would take him but anywhere was better than here.

The last thing he saw was the locking talisman losing its effectiveness and the door opening.

……………………….

Lan Wangji had arrived in Yunmeng, hoping to catch a glimpse of Wei Wuxian when he saw tension and worry in the faces of the vendors and stray Jiang disciples.

He was instantly on guard and asked a Jiang disciple if he needed any help. After all, this was Yunmeng Jiang’s territory. He couldn’t just interfere. The Jiang disciple looked a little cautious but indicated to go to a quieter area.

“Have you seen Da-Shixiong?” He asked.

The feeling in Lan Wangji’s gut sank. “No, I have not. What happened to him?”

The disciple looked sad. “We don’t know. He just…..disappeared. Jiang-zongzhu thought he had gone on a night hunt or something but no one reported any such requests and none of the vendors had seen him pass by.”

“I see. When did this happen?”

“It’s been only a day. So he must’ve not gotten far wherever he is.”

“Mm.” Lan Wangji did not know what else to say and bid the disciple goodbye. He was really worried now and wanted to discuss about taking a longer leave of absence with his brother.

With that in mind, he flew off to Gusu.

…………………

Wei Wuxian found himself in what looked like a prison camp and was horrified to see the bodies of old men and women, children and teenagers strewn everywhere. the fact that they were Wens hardly registered in his mind. je just new that he had to get these people out of here. 

The Jins had said that the Wens they imprisoned were all cultivators that had participated in the war and this was proof that they were decidedly not.

He was lucky that he came here when the Jin guards were sleeping.

Just as he contemplated how to help these people he bumped into a familiar face.

“W-Wei-gongzi......”

“Wen Ning?!” Wei Wuxian gasped. The other was in a horrible condition with bruises all over his face and shackles around his wrists and ankles. His eyes darkened. These people.....how dare they?!

“Wei-gongzi?”

Wei Wuxian calmed down. “Wen Ning, are the guards all asleep?”

The poor boy nodded a confused, “Yes?”

“I’m going to get you out of here.”

“Wh-What? Y-You can’t! There’s an array that prevents us from leaving!”

“An array, huh?” It seems it doesn’t guard against teleportation talismans, though. “Don’t worry about that. Are there only non-cultivators here?”

“Um, yes?”

“Okay.” Wei Wuxian released a controlled breath. “Gather all of them up. I have some teleportation talismans here. These should be enough to get you away frm here.”

“W-Wei-gongzi! Y-You don’t have to--”

“Please, Wen Ning. I owe you this much.”

Wen Ning looked like he was going to cry. He nodded and went to gather all of them up. Wen Qing was there too, it seems and Wei Wuxian was glad that she seemed okay. The people in front of him looked scared as they concentrated on Chenqing and Wei Wuxian didn’t blame them. he asked Wen Qing and Wen Ning to come forward and handed them the new teleportation talismans. He had a stack of improved ones that could handle taking multiple people. Wen Qing and Wen Ning bowed in thanks when Wei Wuxian told them this and even gave them his money. 

As they all disappeared, Wei Wuxian decided to leave too. Hopefully wherever he landed next would be better than this.

...........

When Wei Wuxian landed himself in a forest, at first, he was afraid he might have gone somewhere unfamiliar. But as he walked forward and noticed both a lack of monsters and the purity of the air, he thought, Oh no. I’m in the Cloud Recesses back mountains.

But now was not the time to panic. Wei Wuxian knew where he was and how he could get out. But knowing his brother, he was probably searching for him and raging about it. So it was only a matter of time before rumors spread of his disappearance and a search for him would enact.

And Wei Wuxian, not wanting to deal with all that, decided to find Lan Wangji. The man had always wanted to take him back to Gusu and imprison him so maybe Wei Wuxian could go along with him for just a bit before consolidating a plan of what to do next and then escaping.

Yes, Wei Wuxian nodded, this was a good plan. Now where would Lan Zhan live? I’ll just sneak in, pretend to comply to his demands, subtly ask for more time before he purifies me or anything like that and then escape once I’m done.

With that, Wei Wuxian walked through the forest and somehow found a house nearby. Noting that no one was inside, he decided to look around. Instantly, the scent of sandalwood hit him and Wei Wuxian realized, with a start, that this house might just be Lan Zhan’s!

But he couldn’t be sure so he looked around and found a letter with Lan Zhan’s name on it. While this could be Lan Xichen’s house, the Lan sect leader never smelled of sandalwood, so Wei Wuxian was sure he had the right place.

Wei Wuxian observed the house and found it to be neat and immaculate just as Lan Zhan had always been. Even the sheets of his bed were without wrinkles. How did he even manage that?

As Wei Wuxian wandered the house, he noticed a sudden hollowness on one of the floorboards. He knelt down and knocked against it before attempting to move it. It slid away quite easily.

There seemed to be many things underneath and Wei Wuxian was delighted to see a few jars of Emperor’s Smile.

Oh, Lan Zhan~ you’ve been very naughty, I see. He hummed happily and decided to partake in a jug or two.

After three jars, he felt a little tipsy and decided to lie down for a bit. Lan Zhan’s bed was soft and smelled a lot like him. He’d just rest for a few minutes before cleaning up. Yes.....just a few......minutes......

……………………

Lan Wangji realized that it was too late to go ask his brother for a longer leave of absence. He decided that he should meditate tonight and calm down before getting some supplies for a trip to look for Wei Ying.

As soon as he reached the front of the Jingshi, though, he sensed that something was off and immediately put a hand to Bichen. He slowly opened the door and the faint scent of wine drifted out. 

Lan Wangji was instantly pissed. This intruder, whoever they are, stole the wine he had saved for Wei Ying!! He’s going to skewer them......

He opened the door all the way, Bichen halfway out of its sheath when he noticed the intruder passed out on his bed. With a flick of his sleeves, he lit up the candles and was about to arrest this person when he noticed who he was.

Wei Ying?! He nearly cried out. Bichen slid back into its sheath as Lan Wangji rushed forward to check on the passed out man. He was relieved to see that were no injuries but based on the jars that were lying around, it was likely that Wei Ying merely passed out from the alcohol.

Lan Wangji just shook his head and decided to wake Wei Ying up. As much as he’d like the other man to sleep and rest from wherever he had been, Lan Wangji would like him to change into more comfortable clothes.

As he was about to awake him, a hurt whimper tore itself from Wei Ying’s throat and Lan Wangji watched as distress began to paint its way over Wei Ying’s face. 

“N-No....please, stop......” Wei Ying cried. “Stop, stop, I won’t- you can’t make me......help me.......someone, help......”

Lan Wangji’s eyes widened as resentful energy began to spill out of his beloved. he immediately brought his guqin out and played Rest, hoping to appease the spirits that seemed to be tormenting Wei Ying. The resentful energy dissipated but Wei Ying still seemed to be in pain. Unconsciously, his fingers began playing the song he had wrote for Wei Ying. He was surprised to see that it worked as Wei Ying began calming down and waking up.

“Hmm....huh? Where....?” Wei Ying’s hazy, sleep-laden eyes scanned the room before landing on him. “Ah! Y-You! Lan Zhan, what are you doing here?”

Lan Wangji would laugh if he were the type, his lips quirked up instead in amusement, “This is my home. That should be my question.”

“O-Oh, ah....” Wei Ying looked a little embarrassed. “Well, that’s true. But, oh, Lan Zhan!”

“Mn?”

“Don’t tell anyone I was here, okay? I’ll be out of your hair soon, just please don’t tell anyone you saw me!”

“Why? Jiang-zongzhu is looking for you.”

Wei Ying winced, “Ah. We got into.....a fight. I’d rather not meet him now.”

“Okay.”

Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow, “Huh? Just like that er-gege? You’re not going to ask questions?”

“No. If you want to tell me, then you may. I will not push. But,”

“But?”

“Stay here with me. Do not leave.”

Wei Wuxian became angry, completely forgetting about his prior plan. Does he really want to lock me up, after all? “Why? So you can lock me up and punish me?”

Lan Wangji panicked. “No! I would not-”

Wei Wuxian was curious about Lan Wangji’s actual intentions and decided to act a little bit, “Lan Wangji, even if you do not, tell me, with how your uncle treated me back then, would you disobey him if were to tell you to turn me over? You were always so obedient. Why would this time be any different? Besides, I remember you told me that you hate me in the Xuanwu’s cave. Why should I believe you?”

Lan Wangji didn’t know what to say. It was true that he did and said all that, but it was different now. Lan Wangji was a different person and- oh. That’s right. Lan Wangji is a different person. But how would Wei Ying know that? Lan Wangji had done nothing but reject his requests for friendship, spurn his touch, and speak harsh words to him. 

Lan Wangji was remorseful thinking back on all of this and bowed, “Wangji apologizes. Wangji was confused about Wei Ying. You were different from everyone and I lashed out because I didn’t know how to react. Wangji apologizes. Wangji does not hate Wei Ying. Wangji will not l-lock Wei Ying up. Wangji wants to protect you.”

Wei Ying walked towards him, “Aiya, get up, Lan Zhan.”

“No.��

Wei Ying sighed, “Alright, alright. I forgive you, okay? Just please get up.”

“Mn.”

Wei Ying looked at him, “So you will not lock me up?”

“Mn.”

“Then why should I stay?”

“I can take care of you.” Lan Wangji blurted out.

“Huh?”

“Wei Ying left in the middle of a fight. You must not have supplies. Stay with me until you want to go back. I....will keep Wei Ying a secret.”

Wei Ying seemed to contemplate this for a while. Lan Wangji’s nerves were skyrocketing but he at least managed to speak, for once, about his feelings instead of letting Wei Ying misunderstand.

That was a win in his book.

“Alright.”

Lan Wangji snapped his head towards Wei Ying.

“I’ll stay with you Lan Zhan. But be warned that I won’t be quiet! I’ll be noisy and loud and bother you all the time!”

“Mn.”

“Just ‘mn’? Come on, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whined. “Give me a more drastic reaction.”

“Mn.”

“Lan Zhan!” 

.............................

It was hard to get used to at first. Wei Wuxian wanted to go out all the time and Lan Wangji had been scared that someone would notice and take Wei Ying away back to the Jiang sect.

And if what he learned about the Jiangs from Wei Ying’s offhanded comments, then the last thing that should happen is Wei Ying returning to that place. Plus, the whip wounds. The whip wounds. It had been an accident that Lan Wangji had seen them. Wei Ying was bathing and Lan Wangji was going to hand the man a towel when he saw the awful crisscrossing scars on his back.

When questioned (gently, of course), Wei Ying told him that it was what Wang Lingjiao had demanded Yu Ziyuan to do to punish Wei Ying.

The fact that Yu Ziyuan had listened and done such a thing to Wei Ying made Lan Wangji feel all sorts of murderous feelings. But now Lan Wangji understood. He had read up on whip wounds due to the injuries their captured allies had gotten while imprisoned by the Wens and realized that Wei Ying likely found it difficult to wield a sword because of those wounds.

Lan Wangji scolded himself. How could he be so blind! Wei Ying loved his sword! Of course he wouldn’t put it down because of demonic cultivation even after the war.

So Lan Wangji went to the healing pavilion after the healers had left and took some herbs that would ease chronic pain that Wei Ying was sure to feel. (He was not stealing. He would go later and fetch some of the herbs from outside so he was only borrowing the herbs.)

When Wei Ying had acquiesced to the treatment and promptly stripped in front of him, Lan Wangji’s brain went off, only dirty thoughts filling his mind. He tried suppressing them and was unable to as Wei Ying asked to put it on him as he couldn’t reach some parts.

“I will be gentle.”

“I’m not weak, Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying mumbled.

“I know. Let me help.”

“Okay....”

Lan Wangji took the mixed healing salve and spread it on Wei Ying’s back, making sure to massage the areas. Wei Ying’s relieved moans did not help in suppressing his horny thoughts so Lan Wangji resorted to reciting the rules in his head.

“Lan Zhan, that feels so good......” Wei Ying sighed.

It was good that Lan Wangji had already taken the last of the salve into his hand because the bowl holding it had shattered in his grip.

“Lan Zhan?! Are you alright?”

“I am fine, Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji said, mortified. “Stay still, I need to put the rest on. Wei Ying settled back down and Lan Wangji put the rest on before cleaning up the shattered remains of the bowl.

Like this, a month had passed and Lan Wangji was extremely blissful. He cooked for Wei Ying, talked with him as he rambled about inventions and put on the medicinal salve every so often. Lan Wangji even convinced Wei Ying to wear his sect’s colors and change his hairstyle so that no one would figure out who he was when Wei Ying wandered around the Cloud Recesses. (Lan Wangji had to stay in the Cold Springs for a shichen to calm himself down after that.)

It was everything he had ever imagined. Of course, Wei Ying returning his feelings would be a bonus, but Lan Wangji was satisfied at least being his friend. He wished for this to never end.

..................

It had been a month and Wei Wuxian was surprisingly comfortable. Lan Zhan had been very accommodating, bringing him food - which he found had been cooked by Lan Zhan (he had teased and complimented the other till his ears blushed - another surprising fact) - listening to him ramble about his inventions and helping him out with them, and even indulging him when he asked for things! (Lan Zhan bought him alcohol! And sweets! And research materials!)

He felt really spoiled and indulged and cared for and......and safe. He felt like he was loved.

And honestly, now that Wei Wuxian thought back on what Lan Zhan had told him a month ago and used that to think back on his actions......Wei Wuxian realized something.

Lan Zhan loved him.

It had taken him a while to come to terms with that fact. Because who could love him? Who really loved him?

Was it Jiang Cheng who always picked fault with him now? Was it Shijie who - he reluctantly admitted - only saw the smiling him and never him as a whole? Was it Jiang-shushu who had only ever seen his parents and always turned a blind eye to Yu-furen’s abuse?

Or was it Lan Zhan, stoic, serious Lan Zhan who had been distant to him when they were young, but now indulged his every action?

“Wei Ying? Food’s ready. Come eat.” 

Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Zhan’s warm golden eyes and the delicious food he had prepared and the warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest exploded and he blurted out. “I really like you, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan froze and Wei Wuxian had a moment to think it over before he thought, fuck it, and continued.

“I like you, I love you, it can’t be anyone but you, Lan Zhan! You feed me, you indulge me, you make me feel so safe! Lan Zhan, I’ve wanted to night hunt with you for so long. I.....I....”

Lan Zhan surprised him by hugging him close. “Like me?”

“Yes!”

“Love me?”

“Yes!”

Lan Zhan buried his face in his shoulder. “I like you, Wei Ying. I love you. I can’t....can’t believe you would want me back.”

“Well, why wouldn’t I?” Wei Wuxian blushed. “You’re so handsome, so good! I’ve always wanted you to look at me, Lan Zhan, even if I didn’t understand why.”

“I’ve always looked at you.”

“Hmph, I never saw that.”

“I know. I was too shy.”

“You have to make it up to me!” Wei Wuxian pouted.

Lan Zhan’s eyes flickered down. “I will.” And the kiss he gave Wei Wuxian was sweet and soft, everything he had imagined a kiss to be.

Still, Wei Wuxian wanted more. “That’s not enough! More kisses.”

Lan Wangji huffed and little and gave him a heartstopping smile. “Mn.” 

Wei Wuxian’s could tell that his entire face was red from that small smile and couldn’t help but kiss him multiple times.

Lan Zhan did not stop smiling that entire day.

[fannish-karmiya]

I'm honestly really uncomfortable with the way the Modao Zushi fandom talks about Jiang Yanli. She's either a literal goddess, the best sister ever, or the worst sister ever, a terrible person and how dare she just enjoy cooking and domestic tasks, she is plain and why would anyone like her...

It's like fandom has a Madonna/Whore complex going on!

She's not the best sister ever. She clearly does prioritise Jiang Cheng over Wei Wuxian and has a habit of viewing the way Jiang Cheng treats him through rose-coloured glasses. She really wants them to just be brothers bickering and for there to be nothing darker underneath it all.

To be fair, I do think Jiang Cheng probably hides the worst of it from her; for example, she was actually outside chatting with Wen Ning when the stab wound came up during the wedding dress visit, and I wouldn't be surprised if Jiang Cheng came home after the duel complaining about his broken arm and never mentioned that he stabbed Wei Wuxian in the guts.

She also did not visit the Burial Mounds during that visit; Jiang Cheng found an abandoned house in Yiling and they met him in the walled courtyard (so no one would see them together, ugh). So while she's certainly pretty ignorant about money and didn't make the connection that Wei Wuxian would, you know, be dealing with poverty after leaving the sect with nothing, she didn't see it for herself, either. In general it seems like cultivators from the great sects are pretty ignorant about money, and in particular Jiang Yanli is a sheltered upper class young woman. It's not surprising that she's clueless about all of this. Not her finest moment but it doesn't prove anything terrible about her.

(Also, I see her actions when Wei Wuxian was brought to Lotus Pier as a kid criticised a lot, but...she actually went looking for him when Jiang Cheng told her what happened, and told Jiang Cheng to go get an adult for help. Jiang Cheng is the one who disobeyed her because he didn't want to get in trouble.)

She's just...very sheltered and not very knowledgeable about the wider world. In some respects I feel like her character is a commentary on how unhealthy the habit of upper class families to shelter their daughters and hide them away from the world was.

There's also nothing wrong with a woman enjoying domestic tasks like cooking and sewing! She seems to have been pretty darn good at them, too. When she's a pre-teen and Wei Wuxian is first brought to Lotus Pier, she offers to fix his shoe which is too large; mending shoes is, ah, not easy. Even many years later Wei Wuxian still reflects fondly on her cooking and says it's better than the restaurant they're eating at in Yunmeng.

Honestly, the next time I see someone disparaging her for being 'nothing but soup' I'm going to scream. She doesn't have to be a skilled cultivator or politician if she doesn't want to be!

It does make her engagement to a future sect leader (and one of the great sects at that) rather awkward, true. But she grew up with that having been decided by her parents and just...accepted it and tried to make it work, and tried to like her fiancee. That doesn't...make her evil. Traditionally, Chinese marriages were decided by the parents. Jin Guangshan even says when Jiang Fengmian suggests breaking the engagement that it's not up to the kids! Jiang Fengmian breaking the engagement because Jin Zixuan doesn't like ehr and he wants the kids to be happy is really rather remarkable for their society. And she doesn't push herself on him after that; she delivered the soup in secret in Langya precisely because she didn't want to do that. She just wanted to do something nice for him because she still has fond feelings for him.

You don't have to like Jiang Yanli. Maybe an exploration of traditional feminine values and some of their pitfalls isn't your jam, and that's fine! But cut the girl some slack. She's not a monster, just an ordinary young woman in a patriarchal society.

(Do I need to do a full essay including every scene she's in, with quotes? Jiang Yanli: A Lukewarm Defense.)

[sincerelystranger]

It’s a strange feeling to learn something new about a person you thought you knew everything about, and the newness leaves a strange taste in Jiang Cheng’s mouth, a faintly uncomfortable feeling in his gut.

It’s not anything major – not really anyway – and it shouldn’t bother him so much but…

But…

But the thing is…

Wei Wuxian lies.

He lies a lot.

And his lies are about stupid things – like that he’s fine when he’s obviously not, and that he’s forgotten something when he hasn’t, and…

Well, he lies.

And it’s surprising to Jiang Cheng, because he always thought that Wei Wuxian was basically incapable of lying. Incapable of just saying nice shit to smooth things over. Incapable of hiding his feelings at the expense of someone else’s pride. Incapable of just saying some stupid white lie when some idiot in charge asked him something.

Incapable.

Now, Jiang Cheng realizes that Wei Wuxian wasn’t incapable, he was just unwilling.

And maybe it’s because of this new face – younger and stranger and just a little bit familiar – or maybe it’s because Jiang Cheng is older now, and maybe just a little bit wiser, but it’s easier to read Wei Wuxian now.

Easier to see the slight downturn of his lips before he gives a fake smile. Easier to notice the strange, tired nervousness in his eyes as he checks to see if his lies have been believed.

Easier.

Easier to see, but not any easier to understand.

“So you just randomly decided to come to Lotus Pier,” he asks slowly, his eyes carefully tracking every nervous tick of Wei Wuxian’s brow.

“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian smiles, scrunching up his nose as if he’s being mischievous. “Can I stay, oh great Sect leader Jiang?”

He’s so obviously unhappy that it makes Jiang Cheng’s jaw ache.

“I promise I won’t stay long. Maybe just a week. And I’ll be quiet. You’ll barely know I’m here!”

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng sighs, stepping to the side to let Wei Wuxian in through the gate. “Since when have you needed my permission to stay here.”

“Your kindness knows no bounds, great Sect Leader Jiang,” Wei Wuxian says, bowing obnoxiously as he slides his way past Jiang Cheng.

“It knows bounds and I’m sure you’ll test them,” Jiang Cheng replies, kicking at Wei Wuxian’s knees as he follows him inside.

Wei Wuxian hums as he walks and excitedly waves to disciples he knows.

To anyone else, he probably looks careless and happy, but Jiang Cheng knows better.

He can see the tense set of his shoulders, the forced bounce in his steps, the fake lift of his lips and the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

His stupid brother is miserable and it’s obvious. Achingly so.

It makes something clench tightly in Jiang Cheng’s stomach. A strange, stuffy feeling in his chest. It’s…

Irritating.

“You know where your room is,” he says, wanting to quickly part from Wei Wuxian before this irritation grows into something bigger. “Should I expect your stupid husband to be here soon?”

That Lan-er will know how to handle a sad Wei Wuxian. And, historically speaking, wherever Wei Wuxian goes, Lan-er is soon to follow. There’s no way he’d let Wei Wuxian just hang out in Lotus Pier by himself for a week.

Wei Wuxian stumbles over his own feet at the mention of the Lan-er.

“Ah, Lan Zhan?” he asks, a weak smile on his face.

Strange.

“He’s not coming.”

Very strange.

Jiang Cheng feels a strange nervousness join the irritation in his stomach. If the Lan-er isn’t coming, then…

Then Jiang Cheng is going to have to…

“Well whatever, whatever,” he says hurriedly, turning away to walk towards the main hall. “Do whatever you want.”

It’s not Jiang Cheng’s problem and Jiang Cheng doesn’t care.

He doesn’t.

So what if his stupid brother is stupidly sad? What if it has something to do with his equally stupid husband? Who cares?

Not Jiang Cheng.

Yep.

Jiang Cheng does not care at all.

---

Jiang Cheng successfully spends the whole day not caring about his stupid sad brother and his stupid sad marital problems.

He eats lunch and even dinner with Wei Wuxian and pretends to fall for his stupid ‘I’m totally fine and super happy’ façade. Wei Wuxian is obviously putting in a lot of effort to appear normal. It’s basically a kindness to go along with it.

It is.

Anyway, it isn’t Jiang Cheng’s problem and Jiang Cheng doesn’t care.

So when his head disciple catches him as he’s walking back to his room after dinner and tells him that Hanguang-jun has checked in to a local inn by the piers, Jiang Cheng just waves him off.

Not his problem. He doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care.

Except…

Except it’s very rude of the Lan-er to come to Lotus Pier and not pay respects to the sect leader. Jiang Cheng should probably go and set him straight.

Yeah.

---

Lan-er looks an absolute mess as he opens the door for Jiang Cheng.

His hair is perfect, of course, and his clothes are perfect, of course, and his expression is the same placid expression he always wears, but he looks a mess.

It’s just something about his aura.

He’s obviously torn up about something.

Or maybe Jiang Cheng is projecting – whatever.

“Very rude to come all the way to Lotus Pier without paying respects to the sect leader, don’t you think?” Jiang Cheng asks as he walks into the room. “Even more disrespectful to disregard my hospitality and choose to stay in an inn instead of Lotus Pier.” He sits down at the table and considers whether or not the Lan-er would take offense if he orders some wine.

Lan-er takes a seat across from him, his expression betraying no emotion other than what might be slight annoyance. “Wei Ying wishes to be… alone.” Lan-er’s voice does something strange as he says alone and his brow twitches just bit and it does something strange to his face – it makes him look… like he might be seconds away from bursting into tears.

Fuck Lan-er’s feelings. Jiang Cheng yells for some wine.

“Did he say that? Because he hasn’t really been alone since he’s come here,” Jiang Cheng says, pouring some wine into his cup. “He spent all day with the disciples and he ate lunch and dinner with me.”

Lan-er’s face does something strange again, and he almost – almost – sighs.

“So what you really mean is Wei Wuxian told you not to follow him to Lotus Pier, right?”

Lan-er doesn’t answer but his silence is answer enough for Jiang Cheng. He downs his cup of wine.

This really isn’t his problem. 

“What the fuck did you do?” Jiang Cheng asks, and his voice comes out angrier than he means it to.

He’s not angry.

Well…

He shouldn’t be angry.

Because this isn’t his problem… but…

He slams his cup down on the table. “I know that fucking idiot – I can’t think of a thing in this world you could do to make him angry with you, so whatever you did must be pretty bad,” he says. 

He can feel hot anger growing in his stomach with every word that comes out of his mouth. His idiot brother thinks that the Lan-er is the best thing since music was first created. The Lan-er could probably tell his stupid brother to cut his hands off and Wei Wuxian would probably do it happily. If Wei Wuxian is upset with the Lan-er…

Upset enough to leave…

Jiang Cheng has to let go of the cup in his hand or risk it shattering. He’s so angry his fingers shake.

“I will personally escort you out of Yunmeng unless you tell me what you did,” he threatens lowly.

Lan-er just looks down at the table and if Jiang Cheng didn’t know better – if Jiang Cheng didn’t know that this was the man who stood against the world with Wei Wuxian – then he would assume that Lan-er didn’t care.

But Jiang Cheng knows better.

The Lan-er has to care. He has to.

He came all the way to Yunmeng and checked into this small inn by the water because he… because he cares.

The Lan-er doesn’t sigh, but he breathes deeply before he opens his mouth.

“I…” he closes his mouth again, his brow furrowing just the slightest bit in frustration. He looks up, and for the first time since Jiang Cheng entered the room, he meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes. “I can’t seem to stop… grieving.”

Jiang Cheng feels the anger in his body leave him in a sudden gush. Confusion rushing in to replace it.

Jiang Cheng just stares at Lan-er.

Lan-er stares back.

Grieving.

Grieving?

What does Lan-er have to grieve?

Jiang Cheng refills his cup with wine and breaks eye contact with the Lan-er. He drinks his wine slowly and breathes. He needs to handle this… carefully. The Lan-er is obviously going through something.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asks finally.

Lan-er looks back down to the table and something about his expression lets Jiang Cheng know that Lan-er totally regrets admitting anything to Jiang Cheng. He thinks Jiang Cheng is a fucking idiot. Which isn’t fair because it’s the Lan-er who isn’t making any fucking sense.

Jiang Cheng takes a breath and tries to ask the question again – even more carefully.

“What the fuck, or who the fuck are you grieving? And why is Wei Wuxian upset about it?”

Great job. Jiang Cheng is really good at this. All those years mediating shit for Jin Ling have really paid off.

Lan-er closes his eyes for a moment and breathes out slowly. He opens them and looks back up to meet Jiang Cheng’s gaze.

“I can’t seem to stop grieving Wei Ying,” he says slowly, his gaze steady, his words sure. He says it like it should make sense.

Jiang Cheng fills his cup again and looks at Lan-er in concern. “Wei Wuxian is alive,” he says earnestly, because maybe the Lan-er is going through some mental breakdown. “He’s annoying the shit out of me at Lotus Pier.”

Lan-er shakes his head just the slightest bit. “I understand Wei Ying is alive,” he says, “but… I grieved for him for so long and… and I can’t seem to stop.”

Ah.

Jiang Cheng thinks he can… understand… a little bit.

“You mean you’re scared?” he asks quietly.

Lan-er grimaces just a little, as if Jiang Cheng’s words hit a little too close to home and he nods.

“Wei Ying says it makes him feel lonely. He says that perhaps I’m more in love with his memory than…”

This is so not Jiang Cheng’s problem and way above Jiang Cheng’s pay grade. He doesn’t… Jin Ling’s problems never prepared him for this.

He drinks his cup of wine slowly, to buy some time and to gather some liquid courage.

“Well,” he starts, waving his cup towards Lan-er like it might offer up some answers, “You know, he’s an idiot.”

Lan-er’s expression shutters close. “Wei Ying is not an idiot,” he says tersely.

“He is,” Jiang Cheng replies firmly. “He’s an idiot for sure. And that idiot is at Lotus Pier right now, miserable as hell, because he thinks he might be the reason you might be even a little bit unhappy.”

Lan-er looks up at Jiang Cheng again.

“That idiot is stupidly in love with you. You know that, right?” Jiang Cheng asks. “Knowing him, he’s probably preparing himself to leave you so you can find some greater happiness or something.”

Lan-er’s brows furrow together. “There is no greater happiness than Wei Ying,” he says seriously, as if that isn’t the grossest thing Jiang Cheng has ever heard.

“Don’t tell me that,” Jiang Cheng says with a roll of his eyes, “Go tell Wei Wuxian that!”

“Wei Ying said he wants to be alone,” Lan-er says dejectedly.

Jiang Cheng sighs and refills his cup. He’s well on his way to tipsy now and his tolerance for stupidity is going down with every sip of wine.

“You know he lies, right?” Jiang Cheng asks, “He lies like… all the fucking time.”

Lan-er just stares at him as if Jiang Cheng is speaking in another language.

It’s almost funny.

“He says he’s okay when he’s obviously not, he smiles when he doesn’t feel like smiling,” Jiang Cheng says as examples, “Oh! And you probably didn’t even know he noticed you were grieving until he just blew up about it, right?”

Lan-er nods slowly.

“You get it now? Your stupid husband lies.”

“My husband is not stupid,” Lan-er says.

Jiang Cheng waves it off with his cup of wine, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. What I mean is that Wei Wuxian lied about wanting to be alone. He doesn’t want to be alone – trust me.”

Lan-er just stares at Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng might just be imagining it but it looks like there’s some sort of hopeful light in Lan-er’s eyes – like he might be desperately wanting to believe Jiang Cheng.

He should believe Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng is right.

“But I can’t stop grieving,” Lan-er says softly, the hopeful light in his eyes dying.

“Of course you can’t stop grieving,” Jiang Cheng says, and he’s almost done with his bottle of wine at this point. This conversation needs to be over before his wine is done.

Lan-er looks at Jiang Cheng in question. Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. Wei Wuxian and his husband owe Jiang Cheng so much for this. So. Much

“You love him,” Jiang Cheng says slowly, “You probably love him more than you did twenty years ago. More than you did last year, right?”

Lan-er nods.

“So of course you can’t stop grieving,” Jiang Cheng says, “You’ve already experienced what it’s like to lose him. You can’t stop grieving because your heart is just trying to prepare itself for the worst possible outcome.”

Lan-er lifts a hand to hold over his heart. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t look quite convinced.

“Look, your grieving is probably keeping mementos and writing shit down about Wei Wuxian and just trying your best to remember him, right? Trying your best to keep as much of him as you can?”

Lan-er nods slowly, as if he’s a little bit suspicious of how Jiang Cheng might know this. “Did Wei Ying…?”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes again. He’s all out of wine and patience. “No,” he says, “that idiot hasn’t said a word to me about your little problem.” He stands then and walks over to the corner where a small satchel is – all the Lan-er brought with him to Yunmeng. “You can’t stop grieving him because you’re so stupidly in love with him that the thought of losing him scares you to fucking death.”

He picks up the satchel and throws it to Lan-er who, annoyingly enough, catches it easily. “Spare my idiot brother a night of misery. Come to Lotus Pier.”

Jiang Cheng walks out the inn, not even bothering to look back to see if the Lan-er will follow. He’s done all he can. If the idiot in white still chooses to stay at the inn, well… Jiang Cheng will chase him out of Yunmeng tomorrow.

---

Lan-er catches up to him about midway to Lotus Pier. He’s quiet and Jiang Cheng feels perfectly content to keep the silence. He feels warm and light from the wine and the night is cool and clear. He feels…

“How did you know the reason for my grieving?” Lan-er says suddenly. It’s unlike him to break the silence first. He must really want to know.

Jiang Cheng has half a mind not to tell him. He sort of wants to keep this to himself. But maybe it’s the wine or the clear night or just his general good mood but…

“I grieve Jin Ling,” he admits lightly. “He was the only family I had after I lost everyone. He was just a little baby; you know? But I was constantly terrified of losing him. Even now, I still have the clothes he used to wear when he was a toddler. I have the first bow I gave him. The first shoes he wore when he could first walk. I remember, I used to just stare at him because I was afraid I might forget what he looked like.”

He doesn’t look at Lan-er as he admits this. And it’s strange to admit this to Lan-er of all people. But… Lan-er can keep a secret – Jiang Cheng knows this. Maybe that’s why he feels safe to admit it.

“Luckily, Jin Ling isn’t a fucking idiot like my brother,” he says, “Jin Ling just thinks I’m a sentimental uncle.”

Lan-er doesn’t say anything in response, but Jiang Cheng finds he doesn’t care.

It’s a strange feeling to learn something new about someone he thought he knew all about, even stranger to learn that someone he thought infallible shares the same fears as him.

It’s… strange.

But under the cool clear skies of Yunmeng, he feels strangely close to Lan-er.

Strange.

[vrishchikawrites]

hello, are you still taking the short prompts? may i request for one where married wangxian met their younger counterparts during the study in Cloud Recesses? Maybe wangxian tease their younger selves and how their younger version and other disciples react to their arrival and to the teasing? Thank you!

"He looks almost... protective." Nie Huaisang observes to Jiang Wanyin and Wangji has to agree. His older self does seem to have an air of protectiveness about him.

He feels his fingers twitch when Wei Ying leans forward to study his future self, absolutely brazen and with no regard for personal space. The man who has accompanied his future self has the same air of mischief as Wei Ying does and seems entirely too amused.

Wei Ying is grinning, his expression inquisitive as he reaches forward and, much to his dismay, pokes the strange man's cheek.

The man laughs and his older self doesn't seem distrubed. Jiang Wanyin makes a noise of disgust but Wangji doesn't look at him. He wants to reach forward and snatch Wei Ying away.

"Wei Wuxian!" The Jiang heir snarls.

Both Wei Ying and the stranger look up at them. Something in the stranger's expression shifts, becoming a little more distant.

His future self glares.

Glares. At Jiang Wanyin.

Wangji knows himself and for him to openly express any sort of disdain for anyone is... quite telling. The expression is subtle enough that it escapes everyone notice. The stranger just huffs in amusement and nudges the older Lan Wangji with a smile.

That smile is familiar.

"What, Jiang Cheng? He doesn't mind! Tell him, Mo-quanbei!"

Mo-quanbei looks at Wei Ying with an expression of gentle reminiscence but there's something almost like... regret underneath it all. "No no, I don't mind at all!" He assures with a grin that's, again, strangely similar to Wei Ying's.

Jiang Wanyin stalks forward, his face lined with fury, "Just because people tolerate your-"

Lan Wangji smoothly steps before Wei Ying, blocking Jiang Wanyin's path.

"Aiya, Lan Zhan!" Senior Mo protests and Wei Ying seems baffled, peering around Lan Wangji to meet Wangji's gaze in question.

He has no explanation for his older self's behavior.

Jiang Wanyin seems torn. This Lan Wangji is their senior and obviously a very accomplished cultivator. His companion seems equally accomplished, though his air is certainly not as grave or weighty. He seems almost like Wei Ying in his playfulness and manner of speaking.

And they both seem to have some sort of bond with Wei Ying.

Wangji can't help but step forward, drawing everyone's attention towards him, "It is best for us to remain separate." He says, "Knowing too much of the future may cause unforeseen problems."

"Unlikely." Lan Wangji says, gently steadying Wei Ying as the boy attempts to peer past him. There's a slight spark of amusement in his gaze as he brushes Wei Ying's shoulder and fixes his hair.

Wangji struggles to contain his shock and fury. Who gave him the right to touch Wei Ying so brazenly? Like Wei Ying was his to-

"It is likely that the timeline has already split due to our presence here." Mo-quanbei says, shooting an amused look at Lan Wangji. His older self doesn't react, keeping his eyes on Wei Ying as the boy stares back at him in shock. "Whatever you learn will only help you."

"There are some things I would like to prevent."

"Lan Zhan!"

"Must protect Wei Ying."

And just like that, Wangji's entire perspective of things changes. He meets Wei Ying's gaze, who only looks at him once before turning away.

"What do you mean, protect him?" Jiang Wanyin demands but Wangji is already putting some pieces together. He sees how Lan Wangji keeps tracking Wei Ying's movements. How he stands between the boy and everyone else at all times.

Something happened to Wei Ying in the future.

He can't help but take a few steps forward, "We will protect him." I will protect him, he means to say.

His older self looks at him directly for the first time and there's an odd gentleness to him. His expression is ice cold but he seems more settled, content. "You will fail. At first."

Wangji feels his heart still for a small moment before it starts racing, "Fail?"

"Aiya, Lan Zhan, be gentle." Mo-quanbei says softly before moving around his future self. His smile towards Wangji is softest, most loving expression he has ever faced, "Don't worry too much, little Lan Zhan," Wangji is a bit too mesmerized to protest but Wei Ying does so on his behalf, "Just be who you are deep inside and everything will work out."

He doesn't know what kind of expression he wears because Mo-quanbei sighs and turns around to look at his older self, silently communicating.

Wei Ying is looking at him, his gaze sharp and contemplative. His eyes flicker towards his older self and he leans forward, expression curious once again, "Are we friends?"

Lan Wangji glances at Wangji before turning to Wei Ying, "He isn't worthy of your friendship yet, Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhan!" Mo-quanbei protests and his older self doesn't waver.

"But in time, he earns his place in your life and is your most trusted companion."

Mo-quanbei huffs, "If you're going to be mean to my Lan Zhan, I'm going to be mean to your Wei Ying."

Wangji feels rattled and meets Wei Ying's wide eyes helplessly. "You need to stop needling him." Mo-quanbei says, waving a finger at Wei Ying. "Be gentle, stop teasing him so harshly."

"But Wei-xiong teases everyone." Nie Huaisang says, "That's just his way of showing affection!

Wei Ying, oddly enough, straightens and focuses completely on Mo-quanbei. "He hasn't had anyone like you in his life. Sometimes you need to change your way of acquiring friendships, Wei Ying."

"Why does it matter?" Jiang Wanyin protests, "Lan Wangji hates him! Wei Wuxian should stop bothering him."

"No."

"No."

Wangji looks at his older self, surprised to hear an echo of his denial.

"Never hated Wei Ying." He says and his heart aches when Wei Ying looks at him in surprise.

His older self nods, "Never." He places a hand on Wei Ying's back and starts guiding him away, "We must talk."

Wangji makes to follow them but Mo-quanbei smiles and guides him away, "We are with me, little Lan Zhan!" He says cheerfully.

The story that follows makes his heart race and gut twist in fear.

"Wei Ying," He breathes when Mo-quanbei reveals who he really is, "You-"

"Aiya, don't worry too much. Just work together and I am confident you'll succeed!" Wei Ying pats his cheek and Wangji remains utterly still, soaking in the warmth of the man's hand.

Wei Ying expression is so full of love, Wangji can't help but lean into the palm a little, "Are we... friends?"

Wei Ying laughs, "Ah, Lan Zhan," He reaches up and tugs meaningfully at his forehead ribbon, "We are much more than that."

He swallows, struggling to deal with the flood of elation and nervousness sweeping through him.

When they rejoin the others, he can't help but seek his Wei Ying out. Silver eyes meet his gaze for a moment before flicking away.

There's an enchanting little blush riding high on Wei Ying's cheeks.

'Much more than that,' He thinks, feeling an odd flutter of hope in his chest, 'Wei Ying.'

(this turned out to be a little softer and less teasing. I always imagined that WWX and LWJ will be very kind to their younger selves, knowing what kind of trauma they're about to face.)

[plan-d-to-i]

Here's my mdzs hot take/unpopular opinion:

I don't mind if jfm was nicer to wwx than his own children

I mean God forbid jfm be softer on the kid who lost both his parents and had to live in the streets, fend for himself for years, and suffered more in his short life than most people will in a lifetime. Any adult with a heart (madam Ew doesn't count, she's only a breathing talking pile of sh*t) would go easy on a kid with wwx's circumstances, especially considering what a sweet boy wwx was despite everything he was through, it's normal that he would melt even the iciest of hearts (except yzy's cuz hers was carved out of stone)

So yeah I wouldn't hate jfm if he was nicer to wwx. It's not like he was abusing and neglecting his own children at the same time, unlike what the JC/YZY stans would have us believe. While yzy was abusive and a b*tch to her children, screaming at them, mocking and demeaning them, and that's when she wasn't away on some "night hunt", jfm was the one who stood up for his daughter when he realized what jzx thought of her, he was the one who tried to correct jc's wrong ideas calmly and rationally without yelling at him or making fun of him. even when jfm brought wwx to LP and wwx was scared of jc's puppies he didn't send them away immediately, he waited for days to see if wwx will adjust but when he didn't and jfm realized the dogs had to go for wwx to feel safe in his new home, he didn't just send them away he tried to talk to jc about it 1st.

Imo jfm's only fault as a parent is allowing his wife to abuse his children and ward and turn his own son against him.

Which really makes me wonder what did yzy do to break him? When he was talking to jgs about ending their kids' engagement he didn't bend when jgs argued for keeping the engagement, and he was willing to go demand WRH return his disciples swords knowing that WRH wasn't above killing his fellow sect leaders (actually it's even telling and funny how jfm would rather face Wen f*cking Ruohan than stay home with yzy), and in the attack on LP he went back in there knowing that there was no chance he could win or come out alive, heck even before marrying yzy he had the guts to refuse her and family for a while despite the pressure they were putting on him. It's only when dealing with that woman that jfm seems to completely lose his spine.

Anyways it's true jfm won't be getting a father of the year award (that one goes to wangxian and lqr as the runner up) but he wasn't a bad one either, he was at worst a sub-par parent imo.

I wouldn't have minded if JFM had been nicer to Wei Wuxian but he wasn't. People are like "he was easier on him" .... um that's bc WWX wasn't the one suggesting THEY STAND BY AND LET INNOCENT PEOPLE DIE. People can't really be this devoid of logic?!

I think some people have a really weird concept of parenting. A parent correcting their child's behavior is not hate, it's literally their job. A job a lot of parents today don't quite bother to do. JFM isn't "hating on his son" bc he's trying to raise him to be a decent person. How did these people pass through their childhoods?! Did they think every time their parents corrected their behavior it was a personal attack on them!? No bloody wonder they relate to jiang cheng.

I don't personally feel that there was much JFM could've done to help WWX in the Jiang household...and trust me it took me a while to get to this bc at first I was like... you're telling me he couldn't just put his foot down, chuck her off a pier? But alas he couldn't divorce YZY or chuck her off a pier. She also came from a powerful clan. A clan powerful enough and scheming enough to pressure him into marrying her venomous ass. He tries here :

Jiang FengMian, “My lady, what are you doing here?”

Madam Yu, “What am I doing here? What a joke that I am asked of such a thing! Sect Leader Jiang, do you still remember that I’m also the leader of Lotus Pier? Do you still remember that every inch of the earth here is my territory?

Not exactly a resounding success. The best thing to do was to avoid her as much as possible. If he gave in to what she wanted she would've taken a mile. If he'd stood up for WWX she would've just flipped her shit more the way her son did in the ancestral hall when WWX stood up for LWJ. YZY and jc are really cut from the same cloth. As for why he stood up for YanLi, probably that was his line in the sand. Knowing how miserable his own marriage had made him he couldn't bear the thought of his daughter suffering through the same thing and he still had some control over that. Considering how Jin Zixuan was acting about her it's completely understandable.

Lastly I believe JFM went to get the swords at the behest of the Wens or rather he was purposely lured away from Lotus Pier. Or at least that's what WWX surmises.

Wei WuXian asked, “Uncle Jiang went out so early in the morning—why hasn’t he come back yet? Would he make it in time for dinner?”

In the morning, Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu had an argument again. To call it an argument didn’t seem quite right. Madam Yu alone lost her temper, while some of Jiang FengMian’s bearing remained throughout the entire exchange. Jiang Cheng answered, “He’s at the Wen Sect for our swords again, isn’t he? Whenever I think that my Sandu might be held in the hands of a Wen-dog right now, I…”

....

Wei WuXian remembered Jiang FengMian, who went out earlier, and thought, They purposely chose to come at such a time. Or, rather, they purposely led Uncle Jiang out of here!

I mean not a bad strategy considering YZY loses her shit when she hears about the supervisory office and gets the whole Clan killed. Further supporting WWX’s assertion, I don't believe JFM was returning with the swords. One because he would have probably given them back to WWX and jc and two because :

Two months ago, the Two Jades of Lan cooperated in a surprise attack with Jiang Cheng. They took back the swords that had been gathered from each sect’s disciples at Wen Chao’s ‘sector of indoctrination’, bringing them back to their owners. Only then did Sandu and Bichen return to them.

Lan WangJi’s light eyes glanced at the other sword at Jiang Cheng’s waist. He turned his gaze away.

A few moments later, staring straight in front of him, he asked, “Has Wei Ying still not appeared yet?”

[robininthelabyrinth]

anything with jin zixuan marrying into the jiang sect, instead of jiang yanli marrying out?

ao3

It wasn’t that Jin Zixuan didn’t love his mother – he did, he truly did. He loved her, he supported her, he stood by her side in every argument. He would do anything within his power to help her get everything that she wanted.

It was only that he took a very reasonable look at the circumstances and realized he couldn’t. He couldn’t get her the one thing she’d always counted for.

He couldn’t win the right of succession to be Sect Leader Jin.

Maybe if his mother had managed to stop his father from bringing home all his bastards – there were nineteen of them, all together, and those were just the ones that were willing to admit it so who even knew – he might’ve had a better chance, given that he was after all the sole legitimate son. But legitimacy only took you so far: he was neither the oldest of the children, nor the most capable, nor the most cunning. He wasn’t even the best connected, despite his maternal family’s support; that honor went to another one of his siblings, born to an especially well-connected family through unspecified circumstances that might or might not involve rape but which sufficient money had plastered over.

The only thing Jin Zixuan had going for him was his legitimacy, but his father had long ago taught him - however inadvertently - that there wasn’t anything magical about a wedding ceremony that made him better suited to the role of sect leader.

What’s more, in his heart of hearts, Jin Zixuan didn’t even want it.

He wasn’t – he didn’t really like fighting. Or politics, or scheming, or any of it. It just wasn’t his personality. He didn’t like games of influence, he didn’t like backstabbing people that trusted him, he didn’t like gossiping and slandering and not being able to believe in people’s good faith and any of that, and no matter how much his mom pushed him, he didn’t think he’d ever like it. 

But that was what Lanling Jin did, what Jilin Tower was like, and if he wanted to take up the Sect Leader’s seat and reside in the Fragrant Palace, he had to get over himself and accept that that’s what the rest of his life would be like.

Forever.

Until someone murdered him and took his place, anyway. It almost felt inevitable, sometimes. 

Or, because he really truly didn’t want the job, because he really truly didn’t want to die, he could try to think of something else. Some way out.

For example, he could, and did, go to Jin Ziyao and ask him for help.

Jin Ziyao stared at him, eyes narrow and calculating as they so rarely were – he was very good at keeping a bland polite smile on his face, the best at it of all the people Jin Zixuan had ever met, and he’d met a lot. 

“That’s an interesting thing to say, brother,” he said, gently eliding as always the fact that they were the same age, born on the same day to different mothers. “Very interesting indeed. I must ask, though - why are you saying it to me?”

“Because you’d be the best at the job,” Jin Zixuan said honestly. He really thought so: Jin Ziyao was smart and clever, cunning enough to wear a kind face and tricky enough to actually pull off the impression of actually being kind, since people were more willing to forgive kind people, but also ambitious and ruthless enough to survive and maybe even thrive in the political world the way Jin Zixuan wasn’t. “And because you’re smart enough to come up with a way for me to get out of this without dying, if you wanted to.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere. Why would I want to?”

And that was the rub, wasn’t it? Jin Zixuan was the legitimate son, the rightful heir, and his father, their father, was just as likely to name Jin Zixuan as the next sect leader no matter how unfit for the role he was on nothing more than that basis as he was to name anyone else with a much stronger claim. 

It was in everyone else’s best interest to kill him, if they were ambitious.

Maybe not his sisters. They wouldn’t inherit no matter what happened to him.

(Sometimes Jin Zixuan wished he was lucky enough to be born a nobody, little Jin Ziyu, who just wanted to play with make-up and avoid all contact with his maternal Mo family. Nobody cared about Jin Ziyu, and everyone liked it that way.)

“You know my position,” Jin Zixuan explained. He didn’t need to say it out loud; he was bitterly aware that it was basically his only personality trait: legitimate heir of Jin Guangshan, the rich boy everyone thought would be the next sect leader unless someone else got in the way. “My support could be worth something to you.”

“Especially if it’s sincere,” Jin Ziyao murmured, looking thoughtful, contemplative. It wasn’t an outright no, anyway, or at least not yet. “And you would be sincere, wouldn’t you?”

“There’s a reason I said that I’m not fit for the role,” Jin Zixuan replied, his voice dry to hide the fact that his heart was in his throat. Jin Ziyao was the one most likely to succeed in finding a way to get him out of this mess, but he was also the most likely to figure out a way to kill him without being blamed for it, too.  There was a reason he’d come to him, but that reason was the danger - who was to say that Jin Ziyao wouldn’t decide it’d be safer to kill him, and to use this to accomplish it? He could be signing his own death warrant. “And even if you’re smart, competent, good at managing things, well-connected, and well-liked, you can still use my help.”

Jin Ziyao had only a single fault: his mother had been a prostitute. People still judged him for that, something which made no sense to Jin Zixuan whatsoever – it wasn’t Jin Ziyao’s fault what his mother did before he was born – but it meant he lacked legitimacy even more than the others. 

Having the legitimate son backing his claim would be a strong argument in favor of overlooking that.

“You know your mother won’t like it,” Jin Ziyao said. Testing, probing; he hadn’t agreed yet.

“I know,” Jin Zixuan said simply. “But I hope that she’d like me being dead less.”

He wasn’t actually sure about that. His mother loved him, yes, but he had never entirely determined if she loved him for himself or as an extension of herself – a symbol of what she would be fighting towards. A sign that her struggles with her husband had a purpose, that all her humiliation would one day be worth it.

That one day, when he was sect leader, she would become the true power in Lanling through him. 

(Jin Zixuan didn’t know what she imagined would happen to all his illegitimate brothers and sisters in that situation, and he didn’t want to; it put a sick feeling in his gut to think about it – which he supposed meant he did know, after all, what she would want, but was instead choosing to ignore it.)

Jin Ziyao studied him for a long moment, presumably trying to analyze his sincerity and how firm he was on the idea. 

Jin Zixuan didn’t rush him, knowing it was a gamble on his side as well: it would be worse for him to help Jin Zixuan out of the line of succession only for Jin Zixuan to change his mind down the road. It would make him look bad, make him a target for the others, and the backstabbing nature of Lanling politics meant that luring someone in with a request for aid was exactly the sort of trap someone might lay out.

Sometimes, Jin Zixuan was really, really tired of Lanling.

Maybe something of that showed on his face, because just when he was starting to lose hope, Jin Ziyao abruptly nodded – almost to himself – and said, “All right. How about your marriage?”

“What about my marriage?” Jin Zixuan asked, puzzled. 

He’d been engaged to his mother’s best friend’s daughter since before he was born, and amazingly enough the engagement had held despite everything – probably because they had barely met, to be perfectly honest. And also the fact that being surrounded by brothers that hid daggers in their smiles gave Jin Zixuan enough experience to realize that he was being deliberately incited when his so-called friends started telling him that he deserved better than a girl most often described simply as being nice.

After all, he’d already started doubting by that time that he even deserved the accident of his legitimate birth, so forget deserving any girl.

Also, being nice sounded…rather nice, actually. Certainly a relief, assuming she was actually nice rather than just pretending to be the way so many of his sisters were.

(None of them liked her, which suggested she might be.)

“You should get to know your intended better,” Jin Ziyao said. “Visit her more often.”

Jin Zixuan really wasn’t seeing the connection between that and his request for assistance, and Jin Ziyao’s gaze softened a little bit, though Jin Zixuan wasn’t sure if it was with sympathy or merely pity.

“It’ll make it easier for you,” he clarified. “For when you marry in.”

Marry in?

Marry in. The Jiang sect was a Great Sect, with enough power and influence to make unreasonable demands – and his father desperately wanted the alliance with them. If they could be convinced to demand that he marry in rather than having Jiang Yanli marry out, pointing to their smaller numbers or the tragedies that had befallen their sect…

Jiang Cheng would like having his sister around. He was also notoriously standoffish around women, and had viciously rejected any effort to be matched with one of the illegitimate Jin girls; it might even be possible to suggest to his father that allowing Jin Zixuan to marry in would mean that there was a chance that Jiang Cheng would be willing to leave his sect to a nephew surnamed Jiang, winning the Jin sect both an alliance and inheritance all at once.

Best of all, it had to be him. The Jiang sect had only agreed to the engagement because of Madame Yu’s friendship with his mother, not for any political reason; if his father tried to substitute him with someone else, they might break it entirely…

And someone who married out couldn’t be the heir.

“You’re a genius,” Jin Zixuan told his brother, who smiled crookedly in acknowledgement. “What should I do? Do I just – go over there? Send a letter? I can’t write letters…”

“Let me think about it,” Jin Ziyao said. “I’m sure I can come up with something more subtle than you.”

[oddishblossom]

Hi.....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 favorite characters from MDZS? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite moments from the novel or the drama? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

Hey there! I always love talking about mdzs so I don’t mind answering this! ☺️ I’ve never really ranked them before so I had to give it some thought lol. There’s sooo many characters I adore in this series, but if I could only choose five I think it would be:

1. Wei Wuxian (my beloved)

2. Jiang Cheng

3. Jin Ling

4. Lan Wangji

5. Xue Yang

Now, as for my favorite scenes (｡◕‿◕｡). It was so hard to narrow it down to only five! So I added an honorable mention :) The scene where wwx was going through nie mingjue’s memories and gets all happy when he sees lwj is just so adorable. I can’t remember if this was in the book or only the manhua but i’m including it anyway ೕ(˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ๑)

I’m going to put my top 5 book scenes under a read more because it may get a little long (It’s mainly me yelling about wangxian. I’ve also added some edits I made for the scenes that got adapted in the manhua) 💖

#5: WWX hanging onto LWJ’S forehead ribbon after they escape the Burial Mounds. It’s just a quiet moment between these two as they sit on a boat. But idk I just remember being so fond of it. How they’re not even alone but lwj straight up does not care if wwx holds onto his ribbon. He just holds him in his arms, takes his ribbon off, and lets wwx sleep 🥺 (Also the juniors’ reactions to wangxian was hilarious. They’re on the boat like “should we go…?”)

#4: When WWX climbs up the tree he used to hide in and jumps onto LWJ’S arms. Otherwise known as the “If he catches me, I’ll…” scene. Wwx is showing lwj around lotus pier and he climbs up this tree. Wwx once broke his leg falling from that tree, but when he looks down and sees lwj waiting for him… Ugh, it’s just so sweet how he jumps, fully trusting that lwj will catch him 🥺💖

#3: Literally everything that happened in the Xuanwu Cave!!! If I were to list everything I liked about this scene I would never shut up lmao. There’s just something about narrowly escaping death with your crush and spending a week taking care of each other in a cave that gets to me you know? ☺️❤️❤️❤️

#2 This one takes place shortly after the yi city arc (like chapter 40 something). The scene where LWJ gets drunk and WWX chases him. Okay. Okay. Okay. I’ve probably mentioned this scene before but I have to mention it again because this is THE scene. This was the one that pushed mdzs from “a really enjoyable story” to “holy shit i love this book”. I don’t have the words to properly describe how much I love this scene! Wangxian are chasing each other around their room and both of them are so flirty. And lwj knocking himself out because wwx was too tempting was hilarious. I wish I could just include the whole scene but sadly there’s an image limit on posts lol

#1 : And my favorite is the guanyin temple confession from chapter 100 ❤️❤️❤️. Only the book and the audio drama have this one, so I have no pretty images to show. BUT WHAT A SCENE!! It’s the most wonderful conclusion to this story! And it’s wonderful because it starts out in a bad place. lwj and wwx had a fallout, both of them thinking their feelings were unrequited, and were separated. then wwx is captured, and before either of them get to actually confess to each other it’s taken from them. a frustrated lxc and a mocking jgy intervene and tell wwx how obvious it is that lwj has feelings for him. and there’s this short moment where you feel gutted because lwj has just arrived and he must be feeling terrified and exposed. ppl have written metas comparing this to outing someone for being gay and i couldn’t help but feel the same way. i think jgy, our villain, must see it as another wound to rub salt in, another person to kick down, and that surely wwx will be disgusted with lwj. but wwx decides to loudly proclaim, in front of everyone, EXACTLY how he feels for lwj in one of the most honest and heartwarming confession scenes ever. truly the most wonderful payoff to such an amazing book 🥺❤️

[chenqingssuibian]

jiang cheng... he's so good. he's just a ball of grief and maladaptive coping strategies shambling around in the form of a man with so, so much resting in his shoulders. in the years his brother is dead his only fuckin personal relationship was with jin ling, his dead sister's son who he never should've been raising

and god, he must be bitter about that, too. he never should've had to raise jin ling. jiang cheng is not his sister, and whenever jin ling looks at him he probably sees who jin ling could've been, if his parents hadn't died. his nephew's defensive nature, his quick temper - he knows where those came from. he has seen that glare stare back at him in the mirror his entire life, he knows exactly where it came from and im sure it kills him. do you think he apologizes to her, when he visits the family shrine? does he get on his knees and tremble from the effort it takes to keep the tears at bay? im sorry, a-jie, im sorry that he's growing into me. it creeps up on him in his darkest moments, I bet. im sorry i raised him wrong.

yanli would disagree with him if she could. he did the best he could, a child raising a child and reviving a sect and seeing the ghosts of all he's lost every time he turns a corner. he is near mad with grief, hatred, guilt, at everyone and everything and especially himself because there must have been something he could've done, right? something he could've said to talk sense into-

but there isn't and there wasn't and he didn't. all he has left is jin ling, his nephew, a boy with a jin's delicate beauty and his sister's eyes and his mother's temper. he gets jin ling a dog, and he teaches him archery, and it doesn't take long at all for him to be the best in the clan and then one day he finds jin ling shooting down kites at the drill grounds and he's not wearing jin gold for once, and-

and for a split second, he sees his brother. by the time jin ling has noticed him jiang cheng has snapped out of it, but it shakes him to the core. his eyes linger on the purple of the robes jin ling has borrowed, the comfortable grip with which he holds his bow. jiang cheng had made it himself, special, because words fail him but actions hit home and even if he can't say it he has to make sure his nephew knows he's loved.

he stops coming to watch jin ling practice archery, after that. he starts keeping extra robes in jin colors around, too. maybe jin ling notices. maybe not.

he mourns the day jin ling declares himself too old for hugs. no one touches him, the fearsome sect leader of yunmengjiang, no one but jin ling. there are no casual touches because everyone who grew up with him, saw him awkward and gangly and twelve, everyone who really knows him - they're dead and gone. but he respects jin ling's choice, flicks his forehead right over that red dot between his brows, and never hugs him again.

how many years until someone hugs jiang cheng, after that? how long does he go without a touch from another? he doesn't hug wei wuxian when he comes back, at least not for a long, long time. there's too much pain there for him to reach out and sling his arm around wei wuxians shoulders, to punch him in the gut, to be his little brother again. but he wants to. mo xuanyu's smaller than his brother's first body, weaker and thinner, but the spark in those eyes is wei wuxian's and so is his smile and his posture. they never meet on purpose and every time they run into each other it's like the air has been sucked out of his lungs. what angers him most, now, is how much he wants to hug him. lan wangji does, and so does lan sizhui and lan jingyi and ouyang zizhen and even his flesh-and-blood nephew jin ling - everyone touches him, all the time, and the only one who can't is him. he feels like he's fifteen again, annoyed that his brother pays more attention to their clan members than him and even more annoyed that he's pissed off about something so trivial. brother brother brother, his heart screams. brother brother brother, with each pulse of the golden core in his chest.

do you think he cries? jiang cheng has spent so much of his life hating and resenting the way he loves wei wuxian, wishing it could be simple. love and hate are difficult to tell apart. i hate you, he sobs against wei wuxian's shoulder, clinging like he will disappear if he doesn't dig his fingers in and make him stay.

i know, wei wuxian whispers, and he clutches jiang cheng's shoulders like he's afraid too.

i love you, they mean. and maybe, jiang cheng thinks, one day they'll be able to say it.

[drwcn]

maybe after today’s acls training i can finally write that chengqing ER oneshot. 

— “Patient male, mid-twenties, motor vehicle collision, eta 3 mins” 

— “What no vitals? No GCS? ETA 3 mins? Who’s on the paramedic team?!” 

— “No one….Dr. Lu hit someone with her car on her way out of the hospital.” 

【A Midnight Conversation in Your Local ER】- Complete

[1] 

The night hunt had gone to shits.

That much was undeniable.

Jiang Cheng heard the panicked shout of his disciples just as he saw the array that he had stepped on.

Fuck.

The ghost of an once mediocre demonic cultivator wanna-be was going to bring Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wanyin - the Sandu Shengshou - to meet his maker. The irony of the situation would be laughable, if he wasn’t so irrevocably screwed.

That was his last thought before his entire body was engulfed by a blinding light and the world he knew disappeared.

The ground beneath his feet gave away, weightlessness paralyzing his body though he did not fall. He felt…launched, his body warping and squeezing and stretching, the air sucked from his lungs into the endless black vacuum.

But just like that it was over. Jiang Cheng barely had time to make peace with his death before his feet touch solid earth again.

Or at least….he thought it was earth, this black, tarry hard thing striped with yellow and white. He stared at it dumbly, breathless and disoriented, barely able to react when a loud blare assaulted his senses and his world went blindly bright yet again.

This time there was pain.

Jiang Cheng clutched Sandu, ready to fight, but then his head hit the ground and everything went dark. When he woke up again, an indeterminate amount of time later, he was in a small tube and had a distinct feeling he was not wearing pants, socks or shoes.

How the fuck do you ‘scan’ a cat???  

[2]

Method actor. The nurse, from the other side of the curtain, mouthed silently.

“Sir, can you tell me your name.”

“Jiang Cheng, Jiang Wangyin.”

The resident paused, awkwardly contemplating how to continue. “Uh…..which is it? Jiang Cheng or Jiang Wanyin?”

“Jiang Cheng, zi Wanyin.”

“Traditional parents?” The resident tried to crack a joke, but it fell flat. The strange man stared up at him with a blank look in his eyes and a frown that was rapidly deteriorating into a scowl. The resident cleared his throat and cast his eyes back onto his clipboard. “Uh, ahem, just the name on your ID please.”

“My what?" 

"Your personal ID….like a driver’s license?”

“Cultivators of the gentry fly on swords or ride horses. We do not rely on carriage valets.”

“Eh… right. Uhm, can you tell me how old you are and what year it is.”

“I’m 39, and the year is jiachen.”

Lu Qi frowned from where she stood by the door, arms crossed, watching her resident and medical student work. 39? He looks like a college student. But he also thinks he can fly, so I guess age is the least of our worries. 

“Jiachen.…?”

The M3 fished his phone out from his scrub pocket pocket and typed it in. “Sounds like the ganji system, like an old timey way to record year used in the past.” He whispers clandestinely to the resident.

“….Right. And uh, do you where you are?”

The man scowled at him. “Am I supposed to?” 

The resident scribbled something on the chart, and then looked up with a plastered awkward smile. “Well, thank you Mr. Jiang for your patience. Wang Fei here is the medical student on our team. He’s going to stay and ask you a couple more questions if you don’t mind. Afterwards we’ll confer with our attending and the team will be back to see you shortly.”

As he turned away, the R3 grimaced and shared a look with Lu Qi, who was the youngest attending physician in their ER, but was not technically working at the moment and so was not on the case. And technically, as the perpetrator who hit Jiang Cheng with her car, she had a severe conflict of interest.

At least this Jiang Cheng dude didn’t seem keen on pressing personal charges against her for MVA or suing the hospital in general… but that being said…

Yeah, they’re going to need a psych consult. 

Unless he’s on acid. 

Well… okay, psych consult either way. 

[3]

"It’s okay, you can relax.” Jiang Cheng said, waving dismissively at the woman standing by his bedside. “I’m not going to take you to the magistrate for hitting me with your carriage - car. You didn’t mean to, and I just came out of nowhere.” 

“....Thank you.” 

“You’re not Wen Qing. I know that now. Your name is Lu Qi. You can call off those psychia - psych - psychics - head healers - or whatever, I’m not crazy. It’s not my fault, you just… look so much like someone I used to know."

"Wen Qing.” Lu Qi echoed. 

“Yeah. Wen Qing. She was a healer - a doctor - like you, but different.” 

“I see. What happened to her?"

"She died. Almost twenty years ago."

"I'm sorry... that's awful.” Lu Qi’s response rolled off her tongue so well, because she had said those word a thousand times during her residency. So much so that it no longer had much meaning to her. Tonight however, she meant what she said. “Were you two close?"

"No, well…yes, maybe. No we weren’t exactly friends if that’s what you’re asking. She...operated on me. Without my consent or knowledge. Took my brother’s golden core and put it in me and then lied with my brother to my face about it. So no we weren’t “close”, but Wen Qing saved my life - well the purpose of it anyway. Saved me from a life of ordinariness.” 

Lu Qi did allow herself to dwell too much on what the fuck a “golden core” was, because her gut response was almost instantaneous. “That’s shitty of her.”

She clamped down on her tongue. 

God, why did I have to say that? To his face?! He was obviously in love with this Wen Qing person and they were encroaching on some dangerous emotional territories, but Lu Qi swallowed down her caution and plowed on nevertheless. There were things she felt she had to say, and since she’d already hit him with her car, how much worse could this shit get? “What I mean is she shouldn’t have. Not without telling you. Besides...there’s nothing wrong with ordinary.” 

Jiang Cheng chuckled bitterly. “Maybe you’re right. Still...she didn’t deserve to die. What her clan did was not her fault.” 

Now that threw Lu Qi off. Did this guy...kill her? 

Lu Qi half wondered if she stumbled upon a Yakuza-esque member whose psyche finally snapped after years of murder and violence. And yet, he seemed perfectly coherent, no flight of ideas, no tangential thought, no hallucations. Even his delusions seemed...logical. 

I must be the one losing, damnit.  

Jiang Cheng scratched a little at his chest, as if palpating for the “golden core” that he spoke of. "She saved my life, but when she needed help, I couldn't save her. But, if I were to go back… I can't say I'll choose differently. My clan needed me, my clan who was almost cleansed by hers. No, no I wouldn’t choose differently. I don’t regret my choices, but I am sorry. Sorry to her, sorry to my brother. I'll always be sorry that she died, and that I failed her when she needed me." 

Jiang Cheng had no idea why he was telling this stranger any of this, but maybe after twenty years, he was finally ready to address this guilt that he lived with. I mean who else was he supposed to tell? Jin Ling? It was nice, to have that face as an audience, receiving his words of confession. 

"She would forgive you." 

Lu Qi had no idea why she was offering absolution as if she had authority in this matter, but when she said it, the conviction she felt was so real, it was almost as though some external force was acting through her.

Which was ridiculous of course, but... 

"How do you know? You're not her." Jiang Cheng shook his head. “I wouldn’t forgive me.” 

"No, but you said she was a physician. So she should know, more than most, that sometimes there is no choosing who gets to live or die."

Jiang Cheng fell quiet at that, and his gaze grew distant. Lu Qi thought perhaps he was no longer seeing her as she was in front of him - white coat, scrubs, stethoscope -  but someone entirely different. The tension he held in his shoulders slowly eased, and he sighed. In the silence that stretched between them, Lu Qi hoped that this strange man with his strange past could find a sliver of peace. 

[4]

— Did you love her? 

— I thought so, foolishly, but maybe I didn’t. Even if I did, it was not well enough. 

— Do you love her still? 

— No... I don’t know. It’s been too long...but sometimes, late at night when Lotus Pier is quiet, I think I do. 

...

— Are you ashamed of it? 

...

— No. No I’m not. 

[5]

The patient known as Jiang Cheng left AMA, that is, against medical advice. It was the term they used sometimes for people who just up and leave without informing the team. 

Lu Qi had gone out to check on his labs, which came back with bonker numbers (I mean really, a hemoglobin of 455, sodium of 200, and a HCO3 of like...3?), but Jiang Cheng was gone from Bay 6 when she returned. The nurse made the overhead page, a code yellow was called, but four hours later, Lu Qi was ready to admit that she was never going to see this Jiang Cheng ever again. 

Somehow, she was okay with that. She had said what needed to be said.  

Her chief had given her a call on her cell and told her to go home and sleep. The guy didn’t look like he was gonna press charges, let’s count our blessings and move on. But the night had just been too damn strange that Lu Qi was all wired up from it and couldn’t possibly fall asleep. She had handover at 10 anyway. There was a change of clothes and toiletries in her bag. She could always take a shower in the anesthesia staff’s on call room and sleep until then. 

Dr. Sun was the anesthesia staff on-call tonight and was currently stuck in trauma OR. They were buddies since medschool; she’d understand.

Sighing, Lu Qi took a seat on the bench across from the bougie cafe in the lobby of the hospital. At this hour, it was the only one still open in the entire facility. The drinks they sold cost an arm and a leg, but Lu Qi needed the pick-me-up after the night she had. 

As she nursed the last bit of her matcha latte, two bickering voices pulled her attention to the front entrance. 

“Aiyo, A-Liang I already said I’m fine! I don’t need to be here!” 

“Fuck out of here with that bullshit, Chen Zhaoxi. You fell off the fucking roof! If Wu Kun hadn’t called me, you’d have gone on -”

It was him! Lu Qi shot up. It was Jiang Cheng! 

But no...no it wasn’t him. The well-dressed man dragging the second man (dressed in red pajamas) into the hospital was not Jiang Cheng. He had the same face - chiselled, handsome, scowling - but it wasn’t him. For one, his hair was trimmed short and neat, unlike Jiang Cheng who looked like he walked straight out of a BL xianxia tv drama. Secondly, his face was softer, eyes younger, and he couldn’t have been older than Lu Qi herself in her early thirties. 

“I was just trying to get to the litter of kittens trapped -”

“Yes, yes, and it was very heroic and I’m sure it would’ve made Wu Kun very horny, and you morons probably would’ve fucked once he got home had you not made a valiant attempt at breaking your neck -” 

“Excuse me,” the security guard manning the information desk chastised sharply. “It’s 4am. This is a hospital! Lower your voices, sirs.” 

“Sorry.” The men apologized sheepishly. 

Then, A-Liang, Jiang Cheng’s doubleganger asked, “Could you please direct us to the ER? This is my brother, he fell off a roof.” 

Lu Bin had no idea what possessed her to interject. “I can take you there.” 

All eyes fell on her. She walked towards them, heart pounding. 

This can’t be happening, this kind of thing just can’t happen... 

A-Liang’s face broke into a grateful smile. “Thank you, Miss -” Then his gaze trailed to her badge, and he corrected himself, “Dr. Lu. I’m Shen Liang. This is my brother Chen Zhaoxi. I think he fractured...well multiple things, please help him.” 

“Of course, come with me. Let’s get him a wheelchair. If he fractured is leg, he probably shouldn’t be walking.” 

“I didn’t fracture -” 

“You, you shut up.” Shen Liang rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him. He can lose three out of four limbs and say ‘ t’s but a flesh wound’.” 

Lu Qi couldn’t help but chuckle as she put an arm under the complaining Chen Zhaoxi and helped him towards the wheelchair. 

Shen Liang’s smile widened. 

[Extra]

“Holy shit, took you long enough!” 

When Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui finally dragged Jiang Cheng to their portal site, Jiang Cheng realized that the transportation talisman had created a channel through realities between what looked like two metal garbage dumpsters in a back alley behind a food establishment marked by giant yellow bunny ears.

Standing guard there, Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen were each munching on a strange layered bread and holding tall drinks contained in...what was it called again? Right. Styrofoam. 

“What is that?” Jin Ling wrinkled is nose at it. Brat. 

“It’s a Big Mac.” Replied Lan Jingyi as if Jin Ling was stupid. “And this is a milk shake.” 

Jin Ling scowled. “I said the bag of gold I gave you was for emergencies.” 

“Yeah but we were hungry.” Ouyang Zizhen defended. He neglected to tell them that the cashier had refused to accept the gold and instead asked for “cash” or “card”, neither of which they had, so Zizhen used a liiiiil confounding talisman he learned from Wei Wuxian. They did leave more than enough gold though...and that ought to cover the restaurant’s cost for their “burger”lary . Reaching into the brown paper bag he held under one arm, Zizhen pulled out a little box that opened to show pieces of... something. “These are chicken nuggets. They’re delicious! Try one! They’re really good with this sauce....hold on...” 

Lan Sizhui sighed. “We don’t have time for this. The portal will close soon. Let’s get Jiang-zongzhu home and we can sample these exotic food later.” 

The boys agreed. 

Jiang Cheng shook his head and huffed. 

[veliseraptor]

Hi, lise...If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your favorite yunmeng shuangjie scenes/moments? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

hoo boy okay I hope you’re ready for long because I’m constitutionally incapable of answering these kinds of questions without going hard. which is why it takes me so long and that’s why I have a backlog of 5 million inbox messages but what e v e r

I limited myself to five here because if I didn’t I’d just start listing every scene they interact in, and nobody wants that. or, well, I don’t want that, I’d lose a lot of time that way.

putting this under a cut because...yeah. long.

1. the original Yunmeng Shuangjie conversation in episode 14.

like! augh.  I’m not sure that this was the place where I was officially painfully ridiculously sold on their relationship as my favorite part of the show so far but it was a major contributing factor. There’s just so much going on here! In the way that it speaks to their history together, and in their family, and the roles they play.

I love, too, that Wei Wuxian specifically goes “twin jades? pfff. we’ve got our own thing going on that’s just as cool” because it’s doing double duty of making them a special thing in their own right and also, maybe even more importantly, reaffirming their bond as primary where Jiang Cheng at this point has been...well, a little uneasy about the space Lan Wangji has started to occupy in Wei Wuxian’s life. To say the least.

But maybe even most of all why this is such a gut punch for me personally: the promise Wei Wuxian is making to Jiang Cheng is one that you, the viewer, know isn’t going to work out. Thanks to the opening of episode one, and their interaction in episode two, it’s abundantly clear that something is going to go horribly wrong, and this close relationship is going to break, catastrophically.

And me being me I love the piquant taste of dramatic irony in the morning.

2. the argument in episode 27-28.

This is one of those moments where I never fail to get extremely emotional about it every time I watch this scene because it is so very ouch. The way that Jiang Cheng approaches Wei Wuxian with this guarded wariness, this prickliness and doubt, and how that breaks by the end into his desperate plea: “if you continue to protect them, then I can’t protect you!”

(different subtitles, so sue me.)

and I cry.

I’ve written before about how there’s...so much going on here. To break it down a little bit how about a bulleted list:

Jiang Cheng has been personal witness to - and personal target off - the current political winds, in a way that Wei Wuxian is not. He’s seeing and hearing how the cultivation world is talking about Wei Wuxian. He can see the way the wind is blowing very, very clearly, and what he sees is that Wei Wuxian is doomed if he stays the course - something Wei Wuxian either doesn’t or doesn’t want to see.

Jiang Cheng desperately wants Wei Wuxian to come home. Wei Wuxian can’t without abandoning the people relying on him, which would be both an ethical and emotional violation for him. His conflicting loyalties are coming to a head here but he still wants to have it both ways.

What Wei Wuxian sees as a mercy or releasing of obligation, a way of keeping Yunmeng Jiang and specifically Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli safe, Jiang Cheng sees as an abandonment/rejection - an affirmation that he, once again, just doesn’t matter enough.

It’s just...I cannot get over how clear-eyed Jiang Cheng’s assessment is. Whether or not you agree with his choices, he’s right, on a factual level. And I think Wei Wuxian knows that. But he’s on this road and he’s going to see it through, and he refuses to accept that he might not be able to. 

and I just. I cry.

3. the conversation post resurrection.

Jiang Cheng cornering Wei Wuxian with the very animal he swore to always protect him from! party foul, yes, but also oh boy psychologically crunchy in every way. This confrontation, their first after Wei Wuxian’s resurrection where they both know and know they know the truth of who Wei Wuxian is, is so full of pain and hurt and anger.

it’s just! so much. Jiang Cheng’s see-sawing back and forth between “why didn’t you come back home!!!” (the question he’s always had) and “why aren’t you still dead!!!” Wei Wuxian murmuring about wanting to go back to Lotus Pier, calling for Jiang Yanli (Jiang Yanli, the biggest wound between them, her absence so very palpable in that moment).

There’s so much both of them want here, and so much that’s not being said, and can’t be said. The overwhelming pressure of their history - Jiang Cheng’s sixteen years of grief and anger raw all over again, and Wei Wuxian's exhaustion and misery.

it’s excruciatingly painful and I love it.

4. the conversation in Guanyin Temple.

so I spent, like, most of the latter half of the show waiting for a moment between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng where things would break and I’d get the emotional sibling catharsis feelings that I needed and boy did this deliver. like! other people have written far more coherent meta about this scene than I probably ever could because when I think about it I’m just sort of reduced to dragging my hands down my face and making distressed noises punctuated with wild gestures and cries of “THEM!!!”

the crying! the ugly crying, the ugly emotions, the big secret between them that set off the beginning of the rift in their relationship laid bare. it’s this moment of naked emotional vulnerability for both of them, and while it doesn’t resolve things, while it leaves them both in a place, I think, where they’re prone to go ‘well, he’s done with me now’ - it also opens a door where that doesn’t have to be the case. Wei Wuxian’s tenderness. The gesture he makes here, too, touching Jiang Cheng’s face, echoes the gesture Jiang Yanli makes touching Wei Wuxian’s just before she dies.

(echoes what jiang fengmian does before he goes off to die. how’s that for pain?)

it’s just. wild gestures. them. oh, boys. so much hurt, so much pain, and at the root of it so much goddamn love.

I’m going to go on and slide in here additionally the moment where Jiang Cheng tosses Wei Wuxian Chenqing because boy does that say a lot in a relatively simple gesture.

5. meeting in Yiling with Jiang Yanli.

This scene is...I described it from Jiang Cheng’s POV remembering in a fic as "like looking at children in the path of a rockslide, unaware of what was bearing down on them, such a short time away. Oblivious.” and that’s how I feel watching it. It’s so cute, and sweet, and Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian love Jiang Yanli so much, and Jiang Cheng has suggested Jiang Yanli ask Wei Wuxian to give his unborn nephew his courtesy name and then gets embarrassed when she outs him about it, he and Wei Wuxian tease each other.

I love it. There’s just this sweetness and happiness that they’re having, in this moment, in this tiny courtyard,  because this little separate hidden place is the only place, now, where they can be together, where they can be family as they once were.

And it’s not going to last. And the viewer, once again, can feel the gathering storm bearing down on them, and know it’s only going to end in tragedy.

This is the last time they see each other before it all goes wrong.

BONUS:

[naw-naw-honeyimgood]

I do not hate Lan Xichen.

I don’t! He’s not actually a bad character, not a TERRIBLE brother, and there’s definitely worse characters you could stan (looking at you, jiang cheng, yu ziyuan, xue yang stans. looking at you with disgusted eyes)

He truly does care about lan zhan, which is good.

This is the part where you say “i’m sensing a ‘but’ here...” and I say:

But.

I don’t want to write a character study. God knows that if I had the energy to write a whole-ass character study I’d write more of my fic ideas or wips. 

but.

First of all: his trust in Meng Yao. Meng Yao is a character he trusts IMPLICITELY for only two reasons: meng yao saved his life once, and he wants to protect meng yao, coddle him, keep him safe (much like a baby owl or a kitten or a puppy). look at him! with his big eyes and his pouty “daddy doesnt wike me....” and his “er-ge, da-ge Yelled at me againnnn.....  🥺 “, he has DESIGNED his persona to be honestly So Fucking Pitiful that Lan Xichen can’t HELP but feel bad!

His first mistake with meng yao is letting these two factors overule a VERY important factor in “who to pick/trust”: what do your girls think. and also WHY do your girls think that (if is goes against what YOU think). Lan Xichen, unfortunately, does not have a group of girls to befriend who would take one look at that skeevy fucker and say “um. honey- no. that is like 8 red flags in one”, so we must look to his left at his oldest friend (besides his brother), Mingjue. Who HAS, in no uncertain terms, told him that meng yao killed someone, planned to blame it on someone else, then feigned death and ran away. 

Lan Xichen does not respond to this with “oh fuck well I was wrong about him then sorry”. he says “well it sounds like there was a misunderstanding! sounds like the person he killed deserved it, but he still shouldn't've killed him! hmm, we’re in harsh times- hard to tell who’s at fault” (apparently very easily ignoring the “blame some else, then feign death and run away” part) 

(part paraphrased from Chapter 50: Guile Part 3 of webnovel’s translation)

again, dont want a character or even scene study, so moving on-

there’s also a point to be made that apparently Xichen believed the “oh im so pitiful and sad 🥺 🥺 🥺 “ act even after meng yao went undercover as WEN RUOHAN’S head torturer and played the part so well he got close enough to gut him. like, props to meng yao for pulling it off,tbh, but xichen. you are SO fucking stupid. after that and pitiful act shouldve ALWAYS been recognized as an act but NOo.

Meng Yao literally gets away with murdering Mingjue because Xichen trusted him over Mingjue, and isn’t that just so fucking twisted. Xichen was probably Mingjue’s oldest friend too, and to know the last words he heard him say was telling Meng Yao to run while he protected him from Mingjue... fuck, i GET it why his DISMEMBERED body had so much fucking resentment. i GET it why Huaisang was pissed at him. FOR GOOD FUCKING REASON!

He also apparently trusted meng yao SO GODAMN MUCH that he went sharing all the details of LAN ZHAN’S personal life to him. fucking gossip. xichen i do not give two shits if you needed someone to talk to cuz you felt SO MISERABLE THAT YOU JUST HAD YOUR FUCKING BROTHER WHIPPED THIRTY-THREE FUCKING TIMES but that does NOT give you leeway to go crying to meng yao about “boo hoo wangji loved that terrible wei wuxian that i kept encouraging him to hang out with like five years ago. boo hoo he fought us to protect that terrible wei wuxian after wei wuxian survived an attack at that pledge conference we were at where we were pledging to kill him even after wen qing and ning gave themselves up. boo hoo we had to whip wangji thirty-three times because he fought us even though im the sect leader and i couldve vetoed any and all punishments. boo hoo that terrible wei wuxian didnt even love wangji back.” like FUCK. those are personal fucking details that only LAN ZHAN can and should share unless with his permission and he SURE as HELL did not trust meng yao, much less enough to air out all his fucking laundry. 

one of wei wuxian’s most integral character features is that he does not hold grudges. he does not expect and DEFINITELY doesnt demand apologies. and it makes him a very good character, very, hm, unique. it also pisses me off, though because I’M angry FOR him, and I WANT HIM to get his fucking apologies. 

In the end of the story, when i finish end to end, I look at Xichen and feel... disgust. Pity, but not in the PITIFUL UWU  🥺  way, just “wow, that guy is just... useless.” In the end, Xichen has sentenced himself to an indefinite seclusion. He feels Very Bad and his worldview is... shaken, to say the least. “Aw, poor Xichen,” maybe im supposed to think. “poor poor xichen, he trusted the wrong person, meng yao broke his heart... poor xichen......  🥺” 

I do not think “poor FUCKING xichen”

he is in a hell of his own fucking design. who asked him to seclude himself? who does he help by being in there? what does he accomplish? 

He never apologizes to huaisang. I don’t care if he figured out that huaisang made him stab meng yao to fuck with him- he didnt even kill him. xichen is still the fucking reason meng yao could kill mingjue.

He never apologizes to wen ning and SIZHUI for the fucking GENOCIDE he aided and participated in. 

He never apologizes to LAN ZHAN, whose laundry has now been spread to not only bitch-faced uwu   🥺, but to lan zhan’s future-husband w/o lan zhan’s consent, and also random jin cultivators, random MONKS, and a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD!!! never apologizes for the HYPOCRISY of trusting MENG YAO and punishing lan zhan for trusting WEI YING!!!

and he never fucking apologizes to Wei Ying.

Maybe he does feel sorry for his actions hidden in that fucking house of seclusion. in fact, he probably does, probably feels VERY SORRY. is probably thinking to himself “oh im such a terrible person  😭 i trusted the wrong person and betrayed so many people  😭 i dont deseve to live  😭” which is exactly the kind of bullshit that you DONT fucking want in an apology. 

I hate that Lan Xichen never apologized to Wei Ying. And I also hate that Wei Ying wouldn’t even let him apologize, would just be “oh no worries”

I want Xichen to apologize. And I want We Ying to say “hm. No, I don’t think I’m ready to forgive you just yet.”

[sincerelystranger]

not enough 1

Authors Note: A Jiang Fengmian based AU where everyone survives. 

---

The thing is, is that his wife is almost right.

Almost.

Jiang Fengmian did find and bring Wei Wuxian to Yunmeng because of old love.

But it wasn’t Cangse Sanren. He had been in love long before she came down from the mountains.

And Wei Wuxian smiles and laughs and jokes just like his mother but…

But sometimes…

When he’s quiet. When he’s focused. When the light hits his face just so…

Well his wife is almost right.

---

His son is just like his mother, in both looks and personality.

His wife accuses him of being hard on him because of this.

She’s almost right.

But he’s not hard on his son because he’s like his mother. It’s because he’s not enough like his mother.

Jiang Fengmian is hard on Jiang Cheng because his son is just a little too much like him.

Jiang Fengmian had been arrogant once too. He had once believed the words of a man who swore to be by his side forever. He too had once taken that man for granted.

He watches Jiang Cheng angrily shove Wei Wuxian’s arm off his shoulder and walk off in a huff. Wei Wuxian laughs good-naturedly and follows, apologies spilling from his lips like music.

It shouldn’t.

It shouldn’t.

But the scene burns something hot in Jiang Fengmian’s gut. Something like jealousy makes its way up his spine.

He had been like that too, once.

He too had walked off angrily, knowing – trusting – someone to follow.

Jealousy worms its way up his spine but so does worry.

He’s hard on his son, because he loves his son. If he can, he wants to save Jiang Cheng from the heartbreak of walking off and turning around only to find himself alone. He wants to save Jiang Cheng from heartbreak. From regret. From loneliness.

He wants to save…

(himself)

---

Wei Changze was quiet and steady and handsome.

Jiang Fengmian can’t remember when he fell in love with him – even in his earliest memories, he’s already in love with Wei Changze.

Wei Changze had always been endlessly patient with him. Always protecting him and guiding him and forgiving him.

But Jiang Fengmian had been arrogant too once, and love didn’t stop him from taking Wei Changze for granted. And he had been so easy to take for granted.

Wei Changze, constant and never-complaining; Jiang Fengmian just always assumed that he would be there. He thought that they had an understanding.

Wei Changze would serve Jiang Fengmian always, and Jiang Fengmian would love him always.

He thought they had an understanding. It’s embarrassing now to remember how foolish he had been.

---

Jiang Fengmian goes back for his wife, and somehow – somehow – they make it out with their lives.

He wakes up in a small, musty hut, his daughter tending to him.

“Father is awake!” she cries. She tries to help him up with her thin arms.

He looks around the hut. His wife is propped up across from him, staring at him with hooded eyes. His son is tending to her. They are all dirty and bloody and worse for wear, but they’re alive.

He had been sure that he was a dead man. He had been prepared to die in Lotus Pier.

“How…?” he asks, his voice raspy from disuse. Yanli puts a cup near his mouth and he drinks hungrily. The water soothes his throat. “How did we get here?”

“A-Xian,” Yanli says and her voice breaks at the name. Tears stream down her face. “It’s A-Xian, father. He – he did something.”

“A crude body transfer spell,” his wife says suddenly, disdain dripping from her voice. She points at two dark spots on the floor of the hut. “He most likely switched our bodies with two corpses from the looks of it.”

His wife reaches behind her and pulls a talisman to show him. He feels Yanli rip something off his own back as well.

He looks around the hut.

His son. His daughter. His wife.

“Then where is Wei Wuxian?” he asks.

Jiang Cheng’s face crumbles at the question. Fat tears drop from his eyes and his lips tremble. “It’s my fault,” he says, his voice warbling pathetically. “I was so angry – I blamed him! I gave him no choice but to go back.”

Jiang Fengmian doesn’t feel completely in his right mind yet. He’s still reeling from having woken up when he was sure he was a dead man. He doesn’t understand what Jiang Cheng is trying to say. “Be more clear!” he says impatiently, “Where is Wei Wuxian?”

“Where do you think he is?” his wife answers sharply, her mouth lifting in disgust. “Do you think these talismans were placed on us by the Wens? Both you and I were at death’s door. On who’s spiritual energy do you think this body swap happened?”

He hears Yanli’s muffled sobs next to him. Jiang Cheng sobs wretchedly before him.

All he had told the boy was to keep his children safe.

He’s all Jiang Fengmian has left of Wei Changze…

“I must go for him,” he says quietly. He pushes himself to his knees with unsteady hands. He doesn’t even have his sword…

“You will do no such thing,” his wife hisses, sitting forward, her eyes flashing. She looks at Yanli and Jiang Cheng and her upper lip curls in disgust. “What are you two sniveling for? Stop this instant!”

“I will go with you, father,” Jiang Cheng says valiantly, wiping his face with his sleeves.

His wife turns sharply and slaps Jiang Cheng across the face.

“Yu Furan!” Jiang Fengmian admonishes.

She turns her sharp eyes to him. “He is a servant,” she says through gritted teeth, “You will not endanger yourself or my son for a servant.”

“But he saved you, mother,” Jiang Cheng pleads, “He saved all of us.”

“As he should,” his wife says coldly. “Your father took him off the street and treated him well above his station. There are servants who died in Lotus Pier that received a fraction of what that child got from us.”

“He’s not a servant,” Yanli cries, “you know he’s not. He’s no different than a brother to us.”

“I did not birth him,” Yu Furan sneers, “How can he be your brother.”

Jiang Fengmian moves to stand. His wife is free to think whatever she pleases. He never put it on her to love a child he brought back on his own volition. But…

But to leave Wei Wuxian to die in his stead at Lotus Pier feels too much like betraying Wei Changze.

“I want my child to be more than a servant,” Wei Changze had said before he left Lotus Pier, and Jiang Fengmian had thought that he had been honoring that wish all this time.

To hear his wife, speak of Wei Wuxian so lowly… It feels like all of Jiang Fengmian’s efforts were for naught.

“He is more than a servant,” he says, rising to his feet unsteadily. Jiang Cheng rushes up to steady him. “If only to retrieve his body – I must go.”

Yu Furan stands then and rushes to him. She pushes Jiang Cheng aside and pushes Jiang Fengmian back onto the ground.

“Why did you come back to Lotus Pier then?” she shouts, rage contorting her face. “If his survival was so dear to you – for what reason did you return to Lotus Pier!? You should have left me. You should have left me!”

He looks up at her wide eyed. In all their years together, not once has she ever struck him.

“You’re my wife,” he answers staltingly, “I could not leave you.”  

A shocked silence falls upon the hut. No one seems to be breathing.

A second passes, and another, and all of a sudden Yu Furan takes a loud shuddering breath and collapses to her knees in front of Jiang Fengmian.

“I’m your wife,” she says in a desperate, defeated voice, “and I’m asking you to forget that boy. Let it be enough that our family survived.”

Jiang Fengmian suddenly can’t seem to recognize the woman in front of him. Never in his life has he heard his wife sound like this. Never in all their years together has she looked so… weak in front of him.

“I am your wife,” she says again, her voice stronger this time. She raises her head to look at him. “Do you understand how humiliating it is to have to ask you to choose me over that boy? Over the son of past love?” She shakes her head, her lips lifting in a sneer. “I am your wife.” She turns to look at Jiang Cheng. “I am your mother. And you will not leave this hut unless it is over my dead body.”

Yanli sobs desolately beside him.

Jiang Cheng stares at his mother in shock before nodding numbly and sliding down to the floor. He sobs wretchedly into his hands.

Jiang Fengmian looks at the woman in front of him. The mother of his children. The woman he agreed to marry because he foolishly thought it might arise some feeling from Wei Changze.

Maybe, he thinks faintly, he’s destined to take everyone who loves him for granted.

The woman he married out of spite. He never thought she might love him. But…

She prepares medicine for him. Her weapon recognized him. She defended their home, fully prepared to die alone – never imagining that he might come for her.

His wife.

They stay in the hut.