#this wasnt supposed to devolve into this but okay

[themyscirah]

Barry: you can't outmanuever me. You can't outrun me.

Simon: *immediately does just that*

[stormsplurge]

i can do it with a broken heart

warnings: smut stuff, handjobs, etc.

pairing(s): seth jarvis x fem! reader

okay this is kind of rough cause i actually lowk suck at writing smut but i cant get better without practice so! this is also like not proofread at all sorry, title is because of the taylor song except it kind of has nothing to do with the plot i was just listening to it when i got the idea and then it kind of just devolved into just smut instead of an actual plot

1071 words

two losses in a row.

two games full of stupid penalties, and dangerous hits.

it was frustrating, watching your boyfriend work his ass off only to have all the effort he put in fall flat once the final whistle gets blown, and part of your chest ached thinking about how he was handling it. 

everytime you watched seth get knocked into the boards you tensed up, immediately worrying about if he was okay or not. mentally and physically.

he had been hard on himself all season, trying to prove that last years sophomore slump was just that: a sophomore slump, and make his presence on the team known. but no matter how well he played the devil on his shoulder still told him he wasnt supposed to be there. 

there was also, of course, the added pressure of being in the playoffs. wanting to give it your all every night to get the veterans on the team to the final round, and feeling like youd let them down whenever you lose.

seth had been taking that part of playoffs especially hard, feeling like he owed it to burnzie to finally get him a cup. a thank you for taking him under his wing when he first got to carolina. 

he had been working on breaking his habit of getting in his head, and having a terrific series against the islanders certainly helped, but watching him on the bench you could see the gears turning in his brain and reverting back to his pessimistic tendencies. 

as much as you wanted to be with him in new york, you were forced to wait at home in raleigh for seth to come home. 

——

it was late when he got back from new york.

you were waiting in the living room, fighting back the fatigue that so desperately wanted to wash over you, willing yourself to stay awake until you boyfriend came home. 

the clock had just barely hit 12:30 when you heard the front door slowly creak open and all of seths bags hit the floor. 

jumping up from your spot on the couch you hurried over to the foyer where he stood, wrapping your arms around him and melting into his touch. 

“im so sorry” you whispered into his chest, rubbing circles into his back as you let him rest his head on yours.

seth didnt respond, instead opting for a single grunt like noise and tightening his grip around you. 

“are you okay?” you asked as you finally pulled your head from the hole it was digging in his sternum “i saw you taking advil on the bench”

“ill be fine.” he replied “i just want to stay like this”

“i know.” you mused, “but i have a better idea, lets take a shower. i can wash your hair and you can get that plane smell off of you before you get into bed.”

you got another grunt response, which you took as a yes, so you laced your fingers with his and led him towards the bathroom. 

you and seth helped each other out of your clothes, slowly peeling back layers upon layers of fabric. 

in a sense, it felt like you were tearing down the walls he’d put up in the couple of days hed been away. sanding down the mental dirt and grime that had slowly built up when seth was in new york. 

maybe it was the time apart, or the melting pot of emotions in the bathroom, but the second the two of you were under the spray of the showerhead seth pulled you into a deep kiss. 

his hands snaked around your waist as his teeth lightly bit down onto your lower lip, coaxing a whimper from your lips and turning your legs into jelly.

“i missed you so much” he mumbled into your mouth

“oh yeah?” you grinned, dragging your nails down his thighs and letting your fingers linger near the base of his cock. “prove it”

his dick twitched at the challenge, practically jumping into your hands as you began languidly moving your hands up and down his shaft. the mixture of shower water and precum coating your palms.

as you continued your sloppy handjob, seths hands made their way from your lower back to in between your legs. he’d pushed the two of you up against the shower wall and slightly hitched one of your legs up, allowing him access to your core.

his calloused fingers made their way atop your clit, smoother than usual due to the pruning the water was doing to them, but there was only so much water could do. and his free hand made its way to your nipples. gently pulling and twisting as the ball of nerves grows in your stomach. 

“im so close” you moan as you speed up your hands, trying to get seth to come at the same time as you. 

“so am i baby” he grunts out as he begins rutting his hips up into your hands. 

everything about this is sloppy. from the way his wet hair haphazardly falls onto his forehead when he looks up at you to the way your head digs into the tile behind you as you continue climbing towards an orgasm. 

the various moans, whimpers, and grunts filled the bathroom as the two of you finally reach your climax. 

ropes of cum splatter onto your hips before quickly being washed away by the stream of water from the showerhead, and you reach towards the loofah hanging on the door. adding a dollop of body wash before spinning seth around so you can clean the hard to reach places on his back. 

“i love you so much” he says. “thank you for doing this.”

“you dont need to thank me seth, we have sex all the time this is nothing new.”

“i know, but like- you know. thanks for doing all this. like knowing exactly what i needed after that shitshow game today.”

“oh seth,” you reply, spinning him around and taking his head in your hands. 

“i’m serious, i love you so much.”

“i love you too.” you say as you pull him into another kiss. 

as the water drips over you two you cant help but smile, satisfied with the fact that even though the canes had sustained two losses in a row, you were able to cheer your boyfriend up with a simple shower. 

[villanevehaus]

I HATE THIERRY hes such a little bitch but what made me mad is that i literally could not figure out why i hated him so fucking much. like banksy said he didnt break any rules because technically there are no rules. hes a fraud but hes not? hes not an artist but his work is worth millions? like the joke is supposed to be on him but its not so whos it on? who is right? does it even matter? what are your thoughts on why you hate him because i hate him but hes an evil genius - letterboxd anon

i needed several days to stop seeing red and this is of course going to devolve back into rage BUT i hate thierry because to ME his "success" embodies so many things that i despise about Fine Art Culture and ive just realized that i actually dont know where to start with this. okay. hhhhhh. im going to break it into chunks.

thierry documents his whole life on tape bc he feels like he'll never see it the same way again, but then he doesnt do anything with the tapes. he doesnt even label them or organize them or do anything beyond the act of filming them but because he carries this weird perversion about documentation he's afforded access to an artform that inherently is anti-documentation? im not saying that street art should or shouldnt be documented but he was able to document the process behind "temporary work" by following this lie that he was making something that WOULD be seen, and not collect dust in some random tub; a documentary. people (the artists) assumed he was making a documentary about street art because what the Fuck else are you filming all these street artists for, my guy, and then he got a reputation that he was doing this documentary so he was afforded more and more access- for what boiled down to no reason! "i wouldnt take no for an answer" but there wasnt question, thierry!! you werent asking shit because whatever they said might as well be the static of an erased tape!! cobwebs!! dust!!

and then SUDDENLY OH NO theirry actually has to make the documentary he's been lying about for years because banksy is like hey dude can't wait to see this film! he scrambles to make it and it's trash. it's 90 minutes of trash. but thanks to all of this access thierry was afforded he's seen how successful street artists can be (which is an entirely different can of worms for me to talk about. a counter-culture, accessible artform being commodified and turned into High Art for the elites- go to the MoMA and see street art! a private collection of street art pieces! perfect example of this is the banksy that sold at auction for like 1.4mil and then got shredded remotely which RULED! but then now the shredded banksy is 25mil Because its a shredded banksy). so he decides that he wants to be street artist. which is fine! whatever! sure! do whatever the fuck!

but then. he doesn't want to just be a street artist, he wants to be a Successful street artist like all the other street artists he's gotten to know (did you see banksy's show? with celebrities and thousands of attendants and media coverage?) so he needs an exhibition. he needs a debut, and a huge one at that. he pulls all the strings he has available: banksy endorsement! invader endorsement! all gained through that lie of a documentary that banksy is now making himself with thierry's forgotten tapes, by the way!!! his life addiction to filming everything has fallen to the wayside because he's hellbent on being successful.

the ways that thierry talks about art and success as an artist is fucking infuriating bc he's evaluating it solely on Selling and Name and Gimmick. it would be ignorant and stupid of me to say that artists arent influenced by other artists but the fact that all of thierry's works are virtually "Do You Get It"s of other artist's work that he even names?? this is like a warhol this is like a lichtenstein this is like a haring this is like a this is like a this is lik[foams at the mouth and keels over]

yeah he didnt break any rules bc there arent any rules but he played really fucking dirty. he got access to a subculture and its major players through a false cause (documentary), drummed up false interest in his work (the article), false endorsements in his work (banksy, invader), all while his work wasn't even being made because the work itself doesnt matter if you inflate the hype enough

he emperor's-new-clothes'd himself into absolutely everything, right down to the title of artist and filmmaker

[chenqingssuibian]

jiang cheng... he's so good. he's just a ball of grief and maladaptive coping strategies shambling around in the form of a man with so, so much resting in his shoulders. in the years his brother is dead his only fuckin personal relationship was with jin ling, his dead sister's son who he never should've been raising

and god, he must be bitter about that, too. he never should've had to raise jin ling. jiang cheng is not his sister, and whenever jin ling looks at him he probably sees who jin ling could've been, if his parents hadn't died. his nephew's defensive nature, his quick temper - he knows where those came from. he has seen that glare stare back at him in the mirror his entire life, he knows exactly where it came from and im sure it kills him. do you think he apologizes to her, when he visits the family shrine? does he get on his knees and tremble from the effort it takes to keep the tears at bay? im sorry, a-jie, im sorry that he's growing into me. it creeps up on him in his darkest moments, I bet. im sorry i raised him wrong.

yanli would disagree with him if she could. he did the best he could, a child raising a child and reviving a sect and seeing the ghosts of all he's lost every time he turns a corner. he is near mad with grief, hatred, guilt, at everyone and everything and especially himself because there must have been something he could've done, right? something he could've said to talk sense into-

but there isn't and there wasn't and he didn't. all he has left is jin ling, his nephew, a boy with a jin's delicate beauty and his sister's eyes and his mother's temper. he gets jin ling a dog, and he teaches him archery, and it doesn't take long at all for him to be the best in the clan and then one day he finds jin ling shooting down kites at the drill grounds and he's not wearing jin gold for once, and-

and for a split second, he sees his brother. by the time jin ling has noticed him jiang cheng has snapped out of it, but it shakes him to the core. his eyes linger on the purple of the robes jin ling has borrowed, the comfortable grip with which he holds his bow. jiang cheng had made it himself, special, because words fail him but actions hit home and even if he can't say it he has to make sure his nephew knows he's loved.

he stops coming to watch jin ling practice archery, after that. he starts keeping extra robes in jin colors around, too. maybe jin ling notices. maybe not.

he mourns the day jin ling declares himself too old for hugs. no one touches him, the fearsome sect leader of yunmengjiang, no one but jin ling. there are no casual touches because everyone who grew up with him, saw him awkward and gangly and twelve, everyone who really knows him - they're dead and gone. but he respects jin ling's choice, flicks his forehead right over that red dot between his brows, and never hugs him again.

how many years until someone hugs jiang cheng, after that? how long does he go without a touch from another? he doesn't hug wei wuxian when he comes back, at least not for a long, long time. there's too much pain there for him to reach out and sling his arm around wei wuxians shoulders, to punch him in the gut, to be his little brother again. but he wants to. mo xuanyu's smaller than his brother's first body, weaker and thinner, but the spark in those eyes is wei wuxian's and so is his smile and his posture. they never meet on purpose and every time they run into each other it's like the air has been sucked out of his lungs. what angers him most, now, is how much he wants to hug him. lan wangji does, and so does lan sizhui and lan jingyi and ouyang zizhen and even his flesh-and-blood nephew jin ling - everyone touches him, all the time, and the only one who can't is him. he feels like he's fifteen again, annoyed that his brother pays more attention to their clan members than him and even more annoyed that he's pissed off about something so trivial. brother brother brother, his heart screams. brother brother brother, with each pulse of the golden core in his chest.

do you think he cries? jiang cheng has spent so much of his life hating and resenting the way he loves wei wuxian, wishing it could be simple. love and hate are difficult to tell apart. i hate you, he sobs against wei wuxian's shoulder, clinging like he will disappear if he doesn't dig his fingers in and make him stay.

i know, wei wuxian whispers, and he clutches jiang cheng's shoulders like he's afraid too.

i love you, they mean. and maybe, jiang cheng thinks, one day they'll be able to say it.

[anyu-blue]

Personal

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This turned into more of a doozy than I expected. It's long and a bit complicated, but I'm going to need this to stay up for a while. I am sorry for clogging your dash for a moment, please scroll on by :D

I've been trying really really hard to stay focused in the positives and pretty much ignore the massive anxiety spikes lately.. all of the 'older' kids are having them recently- Eldest sister, myself, next sister, cousin- and we're not sure why. But we've been hanging out together to try and curb the worst of it and it has helped a little bit. We're all also very understanding when one of us pops off with something that causes instant regret. We all get it. Which is really cool and I'm happy to say I'm so lucky to have my family.

So we're all doing okay.. and then our parents go and do something to kick us back.

Mind you, I'm sure it's not intentional on any of their parts.. I know my step mom doesn't mean to get stressed and angry over little things. I think my aunt and uncle really do care about their kids though they don't really give them a say in what they do as a family.

Then there's Tevie's and my mother.... I'm sure she doesn't mean to be stupid/ignorant.. to disappear without a trace after (once again) promising to be around a hell of a lot more often.. only to show up out of the blue and show us what she's spending money on (mind you she was fired earlier last week).

*rubs temples* been fighting anxiety all day. Managed to play my video game while Tevie managed to play WoW- activities we love but feel oddly guilty for indulging- and then she comes home- no warning (I've asked for heads up), spending money (she's proven yet again she'll spend and spend to the end of her bank account and then some), getting in my bubble when I clearly don't want anyone there, and then talking about her bf's little boy whom she's been spending all this time with apparently (when she swore she didn't want to because she wanted him to get to know his daddy again without the confusion of his new gf)...

I shouldn't care. I don't want to care about what she does- I'm yelled at and called heartless for that- and yet I'm just... So angry now.

Part of the reason I'm so uncomfortable with her spending time with her bf's little boy is what it means for me. She's always wanted a little boy.. and damn it.. I've just never been good enough. Here's proof. She's spending all her free time with someone who could potentially be her new son.

I know this is bleh anxiety and my own icky headstuff coming into play here. I know it.. and I'm fighting it tooth and nail. But I don't know what exactly to do.. I just want to say 'fine!' and then make her to go away- and I imagine my family is feeling similar things towards their parents too.. we can each feel it.. while we care about them.. we just want to be left to our own devices. Without guilt. Without judgment. Without all the bleh. We want them to be happy. We do. Yet we want and need our own versions of happiness. Whatever we can get.

I'm so grateful Tevie and I are trusted enough we were able to take Wolfie and Memz with us yesterday.. for 4 and 1/2 hours. Just took off. On foot. Wolfie stayed with us overnight too- despite her own little anxiety bump with her mom's passive-aggressive 'yes'. It helped us all out for a little while. Sure I'm 24 and Tevie is older than I am, and sure both of our younger family members are still just under the age to have a Tumblr (without getting peeps in trouble. I know the allowed age is 14, but we've asked them to wait till a better age. They're not quiiiite there yet).. but we all get it.. and Tevie and I are reveling in FINALLY being able to.. just be sometimes. And happy to let them do the same at the right time. It was.. it was nice. I'll post some pictures later ^^ because it was lovely.

I'm just.. not sure where or who to go to otherwise... Because god this needs to stop. It's not right I keep getting so ANGRY whenever I even hear my mother. Or her truck coming up the back alley. Hackles instantly raised is neither fun nor heathly I'd imagine.

*sigh* one thing that has me anxious as hell, yet somehow feeling better is my resolve to not bail her out again. I'm not touching her bills. Nope. If she falls behind on her rent it's not my problem, and I easily keep track of everything she owes me for the rest of it (cell, power, etc.) She's currently $85 behind for this month. Yes I've let her know. I don't think she remembers, but she will when I ask for it.

Related to that is I should have one whopping paycheck this coming pay period. I did the math for ONLY the hours I currently hold and I already have extra... And I have a full week ahead of me. Been working my ass off. No breaks or stopping (don't tell my boss that bc technically it's mandatory I take breaks, but then I'd never get everything done before my time to be off is). I'm looking forward to using a little of that extra to Kickstart a project I'm really excited about and hope to do well with. It takes patience and I'm excited to have something I can set down and come back to without rushing anything. It should make me feel better in many many ways once everything gets rolling, including $ wise. If I do it right, I will have gifts and more for those who have been so kind to me.

... but what to do about the relationship I want to let die... Everyone tells me I need to be kinder. To care about and love my mother for all she is. To like her for all she is... I don't like her. I like her even less since she's got her boyfriend... I've considered that I'm maybe jealous. I still can't answer if I really am or not. I've considered maybe I'm being to sensitive and I'm looking too deeply into innocent things... Still considering if I'm really really doing that.. and how far it might go... But.. I'm also the one who's been directly hurt by her actions in recent memory. 3 times monitarily. Countless times emotionally. A few times almost physically [she so often wants to punch me in the face (her words) when I'm in a mood or end up saying the wrong thing]...

Wait a second. Cue another epiphany.

UGH! Why do I put up with this shit????

Sorry. Language. XP

............... Hm.

Okay.

Okay.

This isn't just anxiety. This isn't just me being a brat (as I'm so often told I am). Okay.

Can't tell you why this is so difficult when it's so obvious.. I feel like people will think I'm lying- though Tevie has been witness, privy to in private conversations about me, and sometimes the recipient to the same threats- but.. yeah. It's real.

I- we- need to get away from mom. Asap.

Choosing her gemstones over ensuring her kids have a roof over their heads, threatening bodily harm when her kid(s) have an opinion/attitude she doesn't agree with, wailing (crying and screaming) at her kids telling them they're horrible and should be ashamed and should change when they want to talk about something she's done that has hurt or upset them, constantly breaking promises and making more, demanding her kids pick up everything she's let fall off and threatening them if they even say they don't want to and then doing worse when they prove they don't have to... (This is just in the last 2 months)

Yes, we are full grown adults, Tevie and I.. and we're being abused and used.

God fucking.. mmph. XP ... Grrr... I'm.. not going to say I'm stupid. Because I'm not stupid. I've been caught in a web for so long and been raised and taught it's normal my whole life that it's been tricky to recognize and is going to be a bit trickier to finally get out of.

Break the cycle of abuse.

I'm going to stay angry at her. And I'm going to continue to be right doing so.

I will also continue to do my absolute best not to ACTUALLY be a brat or harmful toward her or anybody else, because breaking the cycle means not repeating how someone who's abused you has treated you.

I do not threaten harm. I do not make jokes at someone's expense. I do not demean or ignore how someone identifies or how they feel. I do not assume I'm right just because I'm an adult or I've been through a scenario before.

I do my best to be a good person. I work my hardest whenever I can. I am kind as much as I can be without hurting myself or others. I keep people in mind and how what I do or say might effect them. I remember I am not perfect. I remember i will always be learning and will always have opportunities to be better.

Ah... Thank goodness for Tumblr and rant/venting...

I always think I'm the bad guy or wrong... This time- this specific situation.. I am right.

We're still being abused. We've been shown our abuser won't stop and doesn't want to recognize their abusive tendencies.

It doesn't matter if it's family. Abuse is abuse.

Threatening bodily harm is abuse. Consistently making someone(s) uncomfortable despite being asked again and again to try something different is abuse. Demanding payments without reciprocating help in return is abuse.

On different levels, all from the same person is abuse.

There's more, but I'm a little overwhelmed right now and I really don't want to delve more deeply into this right now. I've been having a hard enough time wondering if I'm just lying to myself and everyone else about my orientation/identification recently (especially with my mother's attitude towards it and Lonlon's annoying persistence I should 'stick with being a girl').. this is.. this is a lot.

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

Zukka Soulmate AU part 7

@mypureessence

@chaoticidiott

@ari-shipping-stuff

@knightedbot

@idkhowbutimgayer

@swampy-beans

@angrylittleintrovert

"Get away from. Him Azula" Zuko said while standing between his sistet and Aang

"Aw, do you really think you can capture him first Zuzu" she mocked

"No" he narrowed his eyes at her but turned his head to the right just a bit to see that Aang looked exhausted, of course he was. He was tracking his sister while her Mai and Ty Lee terrorized the group. He sent Jee and Iroh after the others to make sure they were safe while he want after Azula

She gave a huffed laugh "come on Zuko, why turn against fathers orders now? You could still get his love back yo-"

"Has it ever occurred to you that I've realized he never loved me in the first place?" He growled out "do you honestly think that two and a half years at sea wouldn't open my mind to the reality that a family isn't supposed to burn half your face off?"

"Come on Zuko, you know you deserved it, he had to teach you a lesson-"

"Shut up!" He fired a blast that she easily lept over and the chase was on once again, Azula chasing Aang and Zuko trying to stop her.

When she almost had a grip on Aang, Zuko picked up a large rock and chucked it at her managing to hit her in the wrist and send her spinning to an alley. She turned to glare at him while clutching her wrist while Aang managed to hide behind Zuko like he was Aang'solder brother or something "so your aim has gotten better I see, mommy's little assassin"

He held tight to a wooden plank he managed to grab as well and glared daggers back at her "no, youre just an actual target now"

"Is that so" she took a stance and went to fire a blast but was launched away by a block of earth under her feet revealing Toph, Katara, Sokka, Iroh and Jee.

"Toph!" Aang shouted and Zuko managed to relax just a bit

"Hey twinkle toes, we figured you guys could use some help with crazy over here" Toph jabbed her thumb in the general direction of Azula

"She's not crazy, she's just stuck and stubborn" Zuko pointed out

"Two very bad traits that lead to crazy Zuko" Aang said while elbowing the older teen in the side.

[Not a scene shift but a pov shift from Zuko to Sokka]

The group circled around Azula with their weapons at the ready and Sokka glared at this girl they had cornered, the way she looked mockingly at Zuko and the look Aang was giving him told him everything he needed to know. This girl had hurt Zuko in some way or maybe many ways.

Perhaps she's part of the reason they share so many scars. Regardless he knew she was a threat. "Alright, you got me" Sokka narrowed bis eyes, she was lying. "I know when I'm beat" she turned her back to them and started to kneel but shot a blast, at Zuko's Uncle. The expression that twisted Zuko's face was heartbreaking, it was as if Iroh was the only thing he had to hold onto and it was just ripped from him in an instant.

Filled with an almost unimaginable amount of rage Sokka threw his boomerang at Azula mere seconds before the rest laid on the bending and Azula disappeared

[And now we shift back to Zuko because I said so]

As soon as Azula was out of sight Zuko was at Iroh's side, he leaned his head down and pressed his ear to Iroh's chest listening for a heartbeat. After hearing one but noticing it was weak he let out a breath he didnt notice he was holding. Though the moment of slight relief didn't last long. He should have protected his Uncle, he's younger and faster, besides its him and Aang that Azula has quarrel with not Iroh.

Iroh was the only family he had left and now he might lose him too. All because he couldnt protect him. He felt his palms growing hot, like they were about to burst into flames so he clenched them in an attempt to suppress the fire. Jee sat beside him with a look of both fear and sympathy on his face.

"Zuko" he heard Katara softly call out behind him

"Leave us!" Zuko cried out over his shoulder

"Zuko I can help!"

"I said Leave!" He went to swing his arm back and release the flames begging to escape but Jee caught his hand halfway there and gave him a hard glare. Zuko stared at him with confusion but then his gaze shifted over to see Sokka staring at him with tear filled eyes and his heart sank.

He gave a sigh and Jee let go of his hand. "Oh... okay" he said in a soft voice before moving to let Katara take a spot beside Iroh so she could heal him. "Just... dont hurt him please" he whispered

"I would never" Katara reassured as Zuko watched her closely. He watched mesmerized by the glow in the water around her hands, he didnt even realize Sokka had moved beside him until he heard the dirt beside him scatter from the slump Sokka did.

Turning to Sokka he found himself pulled into a half hug and stiffened, he wanted to cry but didn't want to let himself until Sokka reached up and played with his hair as a comfort touch. It was like the floodgates opened, he held onto Sokka holding back sound but letting his tears flow with a few small whimpers.

It wasnt until three hours later when they were all huddled up in a small earth town inn that Zuko managed to bring himself to check on Iroh. He walked into the room and found Iroh sipping a cup of tea with Katara and Jee who all turned to him with smiles. "Zuko, how are you feeling?" Iroh asked with a grin

Zuko gave a snort and a stifled laugh that quickly devolved into a full belly laugh "me? How am I feeling?" He leaned against the wall with his hand and tried to catch his breath "you ask that like I was the one shot with a blast of blue fire!" He gave his uncle a grin "stop doting Uncle, its my turn for a while, okay?"

Iroh gave a hearty laugh and sigh "alright Prince Zuko, but I have one more question" he raised his brows with an unspoken question

"Oh no" Zuko slapped his face in a face palm motion, hearing a loud 'ouch!' From the other room

"Oh yes, that is the exact question" Iroh, Katara and Jee all snickered

"Not right now, they haven't even accepted us into the group, she's healing you and they might just up and leave us after that so Im not giving my hopes up"

"First of all mister gloomy!" Katara said while standing up and jabbing her finder into his chest "we have accepted you guys, and Second! You already have" she flicked his now very much out in the open blue ribbon tied around his forearm given his change of clothes into short sleeve earth kingdom clothes

Zuko flushed and turned away "thats.. uh... I have an explanation about that"

"I'd love to hear it" she put her hands on her hips and gave an expecting look.

"Uuuuhhhh... well you see... uhm..." he paused for a while and then just sighed while sagging his shoulders "okay fine I got it because Sokka's eyes are blue.... and really pretty...."

Katara clasped her hands together and inhaled with a big grin plastered across her face "Oh my gods thats so cute!"

"Shhh! Just... dont tell him okay? I know he doesn't like me so I'm just gonna wait for him to ask me to attempt to tell him okay?"

"Ugh! Fine!"

"Thank you" and with thst he snuck out of the room and back into the shared bedroom where Sokka and Aang were pressed against the wall. Shooting them a glare he made a 'tch' sound and walked out and sat outside the Inn on the small steps in front of the building.

Agni this day was a rollercoaster.

[wanda-peitro-lorna-maximoff]

Chapter 4

Part one here:

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Morgana was 16 now. Itd been a year since her father Uther announced she would be of marrying age. At the very least of age to be promised to someone, and it was easy to say that Morgana was not pleased at all. Arthur had tried to sway their father, as gently as he could without angering him, but Uther wasnt having it. The old man was already confined to his room, sick beyond repair, and he 'had to make sure his children were taken care of.' It didnt matter how. It didnt matter if Arthur would be miserable as a young king, or Morgana miserable as a house wife; as long as they were taken care of. And that's when Morganas teen rebellion really kicked in. Everyone knew about it, Morgana would sneak out late, making it incredibly easy for anyone to find her going to see her latest 'crush' of the week. She didnt mind the gossip-- she even welcomed it. The one suitor who had been at the castle when he heard about her 'cheating' - which, for the record, the prince had only asked Uther to court her; never morgana herself- was absolutely mortified. And Morgana couldnt have been prouder. Gwen and Arthur were... reasonably a bit embarrassed, but they had about as much of a chance of stopping her as Uther did. And if Gwen was really being honest, she found it hilarious. All Morgana had to do was ask for a kiss from a fair lady and the busybodies in the castle would get to work.... unfortunately the more it happened the more Gwen and Arthur were less amused. Gueinivier couldnt quite put her finger on it but it made her stomach turn whenever she saw Morgana kissing some other lady... Arthur was more annoyed in general, in a brotherly way.

But today seemed different. A lot more relaxed... no one was giving her letters from princes' or kings, and no need to ask for more favors from the ladies in the town or working in the castle. The perfect day to get up to something with Morganas favorite people in the world... Gwen and Arthur. ... well, Gwen was definitely a favorite, arthur really got on her nerves a lot, but he was still her brother. So that's what brings us to the now. Gwen and Morgana walking through the forest in comfortable silence... Arthur had unfortunately been roped into another meeting with the king and the round table, so the two thought to make it a girls day. As they walked, Gwen couldnt help but let her mind wander, glancing over to Morgana... it was true, the Pendragon siblings were both very good looking. Anyone anywhere would love to be their king or queen... but gwen loved them beyond their looks. Morgana was mischievous, mysterious and bold. Arthur was strong, dependable and kind... the two put her head in a tizzy. But with Morganas.... escapades lately... she couldnt help but give the witch the cold shoulder. The secrets and kisses from other girls were funny and cute at first but now they had gotten a bit more frequent... a little more bold. And unfortunately, Gwen was far too good at hiding her true intentions because Morgana hadn't even noticed anything was wrong. Sure she had acted a little off at times but, times were strange now... with her fathers declining health and tensions on making sure Arthur was ready to be king...

... and then Gwen nearly jumped out of her skin. Her thoughts were so abruptly interrupted by a sudden presence that she let out a squeak in suprise. the suprise guest in question laughed at her reaction, along with Morgana.

Mab had been watching the two for a few minutes, waiting for a good moment to suprise them and drop from her place in the trees. "Hello you two." Mab put her arms around the girls. Admittedly it had taken her a while to accept Gwen even as an acquaintance. But what really sealed the deal for Mab was Gwen's pure, genuine fascination. Whenever she looked at magic and its byproducts her expression held nothing but amazement, wonder and fondness. And if anything, Mab wanted to keep amazing her, just to see that look on her face. It never failed to make her laugh. "I'm suprised you're both out today..." the princess trailed off, and Morgana groaned. "Its been absolute hell back at the castle." She rolled her eyes and slumped her shoulders for emphasis, to which Gwen chuckled and shook her head. "They... that is, Arthur and Morgana... have had their hands full to say the least." Gwen further explained to Mab, who got a thoughtful look on her face before replying. "Sounds like you've come to the right place to decompress then." She winked at the girls before wordlessly leading the way further into the woods...

"Ahhhh...." Morgana sighed in relief as she sunk down in the fairy made hot spring. She didnt realize how much tension she was holding in her neck and shoulders until now, but the hot water was absolutely amazing on her muscles. All that running away from terrible princes, knights and responsibilities does a number on ones self she supposed... "Are you two done yet?? The waters going to get cold." Morgana called through the thick veil of greenery to Mab and Gwen, who were currently whisper fighting with eachother. Since neither girl was exactly ready for a suprise swim, Mab had let them borrow some of the stollen goods she... acquired as offerings in her woods. People who dont want to be kidnapped, killed, cursed or worse always left her a little something at the threshold of her home. And the few cloaks she'd acquired she allowed Morgana and Gwen to use... they were her least favorite anyway. But honestly, Mab didn't see *why* you needed to cover up around others while you swam, showered, bathed, etc. It was a completely foreign concept to her, but she got a kick out of the red faces from Morgana and Gwen she just told them both to hop in. "I cant just go in! What if its... not secure enough." Gwen gestured to the 'swim-suit' Mab fashioned for her. "Well, then itll fall off. What do you *think* would happen?" Mab hissed back at her sarcastically. "You'll be fine. Its not like she'd bite you.... well..." Mab had to reconsider that. Gwen shoved her arm and the faerie princess grinned. "Follow my lead." She said confidently, Gwen watching as Mab strutted out. She had her usual attire on. Not uncommon, since it looked like the plants that made up her base clothing were just a part of her; but the few nice touches of clothing or signs of humanization were gone.

She stopped at the far end of the spring before jumping in and swimming over to Morgana with ease. "Come on Gwen." Mab said impatiently, and Morgana shouted after her. "Sooner you get here the sooner we can play water games!"

Gwen took a deep breath. Be brave. Just like them. She rolled her shoulders and closed her eyes, calming herself down before opening them again, now with new determination. Her nerves wouldnt get in the way of this rare day off. So, she took off running... and dove into the water. She could hear Mab and Morgana clapping and laughing above, swimming over to them now as she breached the surface. "That was amazing!" Morgana said with a big grin. "One things for sure we've got to do that together-- just... neyoooommm... " she put her fist in the water suddenly, making a splash. "See how big a splash we can make..."

"Well. One things for sure, the fun is only just beginning." Mab gave them a mischievous smile.

The fun was officially in full swing. Mab had invited a few fresh water sirens to come play a guessing game with them, and it only escalated from there.

Some of the river nymphs were playing as a referee for the games going on; some of the kelpies at the bottom of the hot-water would sing while a few of the fae would try and guess what they were singing. Some of the sirens were playing a competitive diving game with their treasures; bits of bone, a pearl or two. Whoever got to it first kept it. Which, without supervision quickly devolved into a bloody fight. A few of the not-so-water-resistant creatures were having loads of fun just on the shore, making flower crowns for any winners and not so subtly trying to help the contestants who they thought were the cutest. Morgana had joined Gwen in the kelpy game, since the creatures had a tendency to drag any losers down underwater and drown them... but Gwen was doing suprisingly well. Morgana was only a little bit jealous. Mab had split from the girls briefly to compete with the sirens, winning a few games and rejoining her friends once she had enough trophies of victory. They came to sit with eachother at the edge, all three of them smiling to themselves and basking in the fun. "So. How's your day off been?" Mab asked them with a grin. "Well considering Gwen's won more games than I... I'd say not so well." Morgana joked, making Gwen laugh. "Well, I can give you some pointers next time." She winked and nudged Morgana with her elbow; making Morgana blush just a little. "Well. Either way you both look just about ready to join the sirens with the way you're pruning up there. Let's get you two dry." Mab hopped out of the 'pool' and shook herself dry a bit. "Okay *mom* " Morgana teased as Gwen and her followed. "No you pronounced it wrong. Its MAB." Mab corrected her. Morgana wasnt super sure if she was being serious or not, but it didnt matter. Mab lead them to a closed off area where she stashed the twos clothing. "Once you're dressed we can do some land-games." Mab winked at them, squeezing out her hair. Gwen and Morgana went over and grabbed their clothes as Mab got some cloth to help dry them. The fae girl allowed them both a screen of ivy and vines to get dressed in a bit of privacy...

Today was... something else. Gwen couldnt remember the last time shes had this much fun. The amazing wonders around her filled her head with dreams and her heart with hope and longing for adventure... discovering more and finding things no ones ever seen before... but only if it was with her friends. As cliche as it was... she wanted Morgana... Arthur, even Mab there with her. Wherever the road took her. They completed her in a way she could never have imagined. She wanted to be there for them. Just as they would for her... Gwen had many friends as a child. But when her family moved to Camelot, all of it was ripped away from her. She wondered sometimes... if they thought of her. But the Pendragons and this magical world... took the heartache away.... but... recently? With Morgana..? The heartache returned... no it wasnt the same as before. No force on earth could take Morgana away from her. No, the heartache wasnt one of sadness... it was longing. So similar but so different. The heartache that belonged to Morgana was one that was bitter-sweet. Whenever she looked at her it was the feeling of coming home to a warm fire and sweet fruit.

So then... why did the thought of being with Morgana... hurt at the same time?

..she knew the answer. Arthur. She loved arthur just as she loved Morgana. And yet... not. They were so different but she loved them all the same. The kind of love she'd want to come home to and kiss before bed every night.... Arthur and Morgana... were her love.

Meanwhile, Morgana got dressed. Nothing in particular was on HER mind. No... but something was on Mabs...

The faerie peaked her head through to Morganas side. Seeing she was infact decent. Mab had been infatuated with Morgana for a long time. She'd known it in her gut. Shes told so many of her friends and they all dismissed it as wanting a pet. And shes seen fae have human pets... the feeling wasnt the same. For them It was control... dominance and cruelty. But Mab wanted Morgana for the very reason just to love her. When she thought about kissing Morgana her heart raced, when she thought about curling up with her, going to bed and waking up to see her face everyday... it made her heart hurt with how much she wanted that. Real love...

"Morgana." Mab began... there was a pause. "... Mab?" Morgana questioned her. She looked incredibly suspicious... was this the start of some prank? "I..." Mab stepped further in. "Wanted to tell you something." She crossed her arms loosely. Mab had never actually planned this part out. She always figured that somehow, someway, she'd just sweep Morgana off her feet and Morgana would have no choice but to practically marry her on the spot!.... but this was definitely not how things were going to go. Morgana was... difficult to really wow, or 'sweep feet'. "... okay." Morgana narrowed her eyes at the faerie, getting ready for some sort of prank or attack of some kind... Mab walked closer... and awkwardly put her hand on Morganas shoulder... and came in closer... until the side of her face touched the side of Morganas... okay so maybe it wasnt 'telling' her anything... Mab didnt even know if she could say the right words... but she hoped and metaphorically prayed that Morgana understood.

She did. It was an intimate gesture. Mab trusted her... to turn her face to her and keep her close; faces touching just slightly. This was big... and Morgana couldnt help the huge suprised grin that spread across her face. Off and on throughout their friendship she's thought about it-- being with Mab. Theres no doubt that they got along and shared so many things in common, but she never even dreamed that Mab would come to her first. And like this.

Mab slowly pulled away. Looking reserved and guarded, waiting for Morganas reaction... still hopeful she understood, and accepted. "So... you like me?" Morgana asked with her grin. Mab looked just a little insulted at that. "Of course I like you! What do you think I am? An idiot? It would be stupid of us not to court! We love the same things, we're already so close and we-" Mab was cut off by Morgana kissing her on the cheek. "Ah yes. How could I argue with such air tight logic?" She asked sarcastically. Mab was completely frozen for a moment. "Is that a yes?"

Morgana smiled. "Does this answer your question?" She pulled Mab back in and kissed her. The faerie could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She pulled Morgana as close as she could, and kissed her back... unbeknownst to them, the screen Mab created was falling apart into beautiful wild flowers to reveal the scene to Gwen...

When Gwen saw the two... she felt like she was going to vomit. Not out of disgust. Never. But she never thought that seeing her secret love and good friend kissing could break her heart so much... she just stood there. Frozen.... until Morgana noticed. And she laughed.

"Wow. Look at miss queen of the fae... cant control her plants when shes kissing." Morgana teased Mab, who was now red in the face, looking around to see Gwen and of course... no screen of greenery. "A-um- i- I can control them! I can do... anything!" Mab argued. Morgana laughed. "Does that include making your face go as red as my hair?" She asked. And honestly... in the moment... gwen couldnt help but laugh along..... it was better than being heart broken.

[jordantheehennessy]

ok, there are some characters sleeping at the end of the book (including ronan and adam) however i can't relate to that last sentence you said and the ronan scene hanging up and throwing the cell phone. how could you explain it better? a thousand apologies for this insistence

i dont know which last sentence youre referring to, please advise.

ronan hanging up and throwing the cell phone is basically this: after he got ambushed by the mods he went to find someplace to lie low for a bit. he's with bryde, hennessy ditched them, declan betrayed him..... the only person he has to turn to is adam. but ronan's been so afraid of talking to adam because ronan's grief at being forgotten at the end of cdth has evolved into a complex mix of anger and frustration and sadness. he's not okay. but he's in danger and so he calls adam. ronan unloads all of that because what else is he supposed to do? adam abandoned him. as they get to talking, adam makes it clear that it wasnt on purpose. he didnt and wouldn't ever abandon ronan. he came home for break and ronan was gone. he hasn't talked to him in almost a month. but because both of them have severe issues communicating this devolves into a fight. the final nail in th coffin is adam clearly making his stance ok bryde. adam doesn't trust him and adam doesn't any him around. but by this point, bryde is ronans only reference for what's what. he's never going to give him up and sure, Ronan expected declan to not understand but adam ????? he hangs up and he throws the phone out of he window.

[hermannsthumb]

Okay, but if Newt's the sexy mechanic, then Hermann's the sexy tech guy. Newt will come up to Hermann like "Dr. Gottlieb, my laptop is having some issues. Could you maybe take a look at it, please?" "Newton, I know full well this is a problem you can fix easily." "PLEASE, Dr. Gottlieb? I'd just feel SO much better if someone like ~*you*~ would look at it."

see i saw this ask and automatically decided you meant “tech guy hermann au that’s not even sexy” and ran with it so thank you for enabling me :)

Hermann is not officially campus technology support, nor, technically, is it something he’d even supposed to be consulting in without the proper university-sanctioned credentials, but the technology support they used to have was so bloody awful that half the time computers came back in worse shape than they were going in, so around six months ago Hermann simply...decided to take matters into his own hands. A coup d’état, so to speak. When he’s not lecturing on astrophysics, or lecturing on advanced mathematics, or holding office hours, Hermann’s consulting in technology services and training the undergraduates there via workstudy how to properly do their jobs. 

They’ve had a marked rise in consultations since Hermann took over, which Hermann supposes is to be expected as a side effect of competence.

They’ve had a marked rise in consultations with one man in particular.

Dr. Geiszler is the head of the biology department, lectures in both biochemistry and engineering, and--if rumors are to be believed--completed grad school in his teen years and has at least six PhDs to show for it. By all accounts, he’s a veritable genius. It’s why, for the life of him, Hermann cannot figure out why Dr. Geiszler has come to technology services more times than Hermann can count in the past three weeks.

The first time was understandable: Dr. Geiszler burst into the office shouting, frantically, about how his computer crashed and he lost nearly twenty-five student assignments, so Hermann--pitying him, one educator to another--sat him down and took care of it himself. After that, it was less understandable. Dr. Geiszler’s computer was making a weird noise and he didn’t know why. Dr. Geiszler somehow managed to uninstall his trackpad. Dr. Geiszler accidentally deleted all of his shortcut icons for applications. Dr. Geiszler was sure his wifi was broken, until Hermann pointed out he’d merely turned his laptop’s internet connection off. Dr. Geiszler forgot how to change his desktop background.

Today, when Hermann sees that familiar, scruffy, bespectacled head poking over the counter of the front desk, he does not even bother logging Dr. Geiszler into their appointment system, just sighs and motions him back.

“Hiya, Hermann,” Geiszler says, dropping into the swivel chair next to Hermann but refusing to sit in it properly, simply straddling it backwards. “How’s it going?” Hermann does not, truthfully, mind Dr. Geiszler’s complete lack of professionalism, nor the fact that he bypasses titles and simply calls Hermann by his first name, but Hermann feels as if he ought to put up a front and makes a face every time anyway.

“What have you done today?” Hermann says, and Geiszler laughs weakly before pulling his laptop out of a tote bag that’s more enamel pins than fabric.

“Would you believe it?” Geiszler says. “I managed to delete my email account.”

Geiszler did not, actually, delete his email account--he’d merely logged out of it--and once Hermann shows him this in five minutes Geiszler shakes his head in amazement (like Hermann cured cancer on the spot and not, in fact, merely entered “gmail” into the search bar). “Wow, Hermann,” he says. “You’re so good with computers. I wish I could be that good.”

“You have a doctorate in engineering,” Hermann says.

“And you’re still better than me at this shit,” Geiszler says, and then pats Hermann’s arm like he’s congratulating him. “Congratulations. That’s pretty impressive, dude.” He does not remove his hand. Geiszler has tattoos, Hermann notices. Geiszler also has very strong hands.

Hermann clears his throat. “Dr. Geiszler,” he begins, and Geiszler shakes his head and smiles.

“Just call me Newt,” he says, and squeezes Hermann’s arm lightly, companionably.

“Newton,” Hermann corrects (because he refuses to use that nickname), face heating up for unknown reasons, “I have another appointment, so if you would--”

Newton drops his hand. “Right,” he says. “Sorry.”

Hermann finishes up for the afternoon at one so as to be on time for the lecture he’s got to give at one-thirty, but he’s stopped by the sophomore Physics major who works the front desk on his way out the door. “Just so you know, Dr. Gottlieb,” she says, and Hermann swivels on his cane, “Dr. Geiszler’s almost exceeded his maximum allotted amount of appointments for the month.”

Hermann pulls his glasses up to peer over her shoulder at her computer screen, where she’s pulled up Newton’s data profile; sure enough, Newton has stopped by tech services ten times since January. Eleven times, if Hermann would’ve logged him in today. The maximum they allow per month is twelve, but Hermann can’t remember the last time they had someone make more than four. Newton is a special case. “Should I send him a warning email?” the sophomore says.

“No,” Hermann says. “Don’t bother with the limit for Dr. Geiszler.” He doesn’t imagine Newton’ll pay much attention to the warning, anyway, just plead with Hermann for an appointment until Hermann finally caves in. “You can simply automatically assign him with me.”

A new email pops up in the corner of the front desk’s PC; it’s from Dr. Geiszler. After Hermann nods at her, the girl opens it. “Dr. Geiszler’s requested another appointment with you tomorrow,” she says. “He says...his speakers aren’t working.”

Hermann narrows his eyes. “He requested me?”

“He usually does,” the girl says, and scrolls through the tech services email inbox until she finds a folder marked ‘Dr. Geiszler’ (made at Hermann’s behest). At least eight emails, all after that very first appointment with Hermann, all requesting an appointment with--at first--the full honorary title Dr. Gottlieb, and then devolving into Hermann. “I made him an appointment with someone else one time and he cancelled it.”

“I see,” Hermann says, frowning and--to his surprise--mildly embarrassed. “Yes. Ah. Thank you.”

He hurries out.

When Newton shows up for his appointment the next morning--“I don’t know what I did, Hermann, but the sound just stopped working!”--and it turns out to be yet another easy fix (he had his computer on mute), Hermann decides he’s had enough. “Newton,” he says. “I know full well this was a problem you could’ve fixed easily. All of your problems have been problems you could’ve fixed easily.”

“Yeah,” Newton says quickly, “but, uh, I just feel better having someone like you look at--”

Hermann holds up his hand and cuts him off. “Why are you really here?”

He expects Newton will make some elaborate excuse, but to his surprise, Newton quickly drops his clueless act, shrugs, and grins. “You wanna get dinner?” he says.

“Dinner?”

“With me,” Newton adds. “And on me. If that wasn’t clear.”

“That is,” Hermann splutters, because his first instinct was to give an enthusiastic yes (Newton is messy and scruffy and infuriatingly attractive) but he thinks, reasonably, he should play at least somewhat hard to get, “I don’t. This whole time--?”

“Yep,” Newton says.

“That’s a horrendous abuse of campus resources,” Hermann says, though the past month suddenly makes a great deal more sense, and then, to Newton’s obvious glee, “Oh, yes. Alright. Dinner.”

Newton continues making appointments, but he and Hermann usually spend them in far more conductive ways after that: Hermann’s office is private, after all.

[droidmom]

so government in terra nova. in simple terms it’s a dictatorship but it’s also. not simple? because it’s a colony 85 million years in the past slightly to the left? so uh. here’s some thoughts. some very very sidetracked thoughts, but some thoughts nonetheless. 

so taylor seems to have sole political power. but it’s not really politics? he’s a military leader. the security team is an integral part of the colony because they protect everyone from threats. that’s why they were such a big part of the first pilgrimage and why a military leader who had Seen Some Shit would be the first to go through the portal. 

but after a few pilgrimages, civilians start to come through and it becomes a new civilization, still ruled by this one military leader who didn’t even seem to be that highly ranked. we know this because of general philbrick. he’d been sent through a secret portal by the Bad Guys to replace taylor. philbrick had disappeared in the old world and was sent through by lucas’s aid, so it’s pretty obvious hope plaza had no idea at all that this was happening. and hope plaza is probably who put taylor in charge. 

hope plaza, im assuming, is responsible for the majority of the politics behind the colony. taylor has his own code of conduct for the soldiers, but civilians arent soldiers. they need rules too, like, idk, you’ll be punished for murdering someone. and that type of organization is a lot better equipped to lay the groundwork but then trust taylor to execute it. and follow it. but because the portal only goes one way, because communication can only happen when the portal is open, and because hope plaza wasnt involved with the Bad Guys who could subvert all of those rules... they had to seriously trust that taylor could follow the guidelines and follow them really well. 

we saw taylor murder philbrick though. no one knew except for boylan who taylor made a sketchy deal with and the only other person aware was lucas who was exiled. taylor thought he was justified, thought he was protecting the colony, but in order for him to remain in charge and protect the colony further, this needed to remain secret. lucas was punished for trying to compromise the colony because lucas is part of the gang who wants to strip tn of its resources, right? but lucas did something else that was 100% not okay: he compromised taylor’s authority. and taylor has a ridiculous amount of authority. 

but in terms of colonization in other settings... that’s not really unusual. historically speaking, rulers would devolve power to generals or other trusted individuals to rule over provinces or colonies far away from the main nation. the over-arching rulers had to make sure they could trust these rules to carry out the agenda of their ruler and promote their nation’s ideals. but those agendas and ideals hardly ever result in a happy ending for any person, creature, or resource taking up that land before they were invaded. that’s why putting that much trust in someone could work: the devolved rulers could easily be motivated on terms of greed and power.  

the only difference here is that tn is supposed to be a new start from old world ideals. greed isn’t supposed to fuel the future, dinosaurs arent supposed to die, living beings on all fronts are supposed to be happy. if you cut down a tree in tn, you’d damn well better plant 5 in return. taylor, someone who lost everything, is really really big on the second chances concept. he has minimal ties to the old world, he proved himself countless times in military feats, and something about him just screams patriotism. he seems like someone who could promote the ideals necessary of him and do it really fucking effectively. but again: terra nova is isolated. anything can happen to anyone and the future may never know. 

that’s where having a second in command comes into play. it’s hard to say whether or not wash was always his second. i feel like hope plaza mainly chose taylor for the above reasons, but... they had countless other officials to chose from to put with taylor on the mission. so why choose wash? for starters, she’s probably one of the sole survivors from his unit. she’s worked with him for years, they’re a great team, she’s trustworthy, super into the rules, and she’ll act however she can to promote order. she’s a good balance to the emotions-driven taylor. 

but i still have to wonder if taylor initially had another second before her, someone who died via carno attack or... other means. and taylor chose wash to replace this person, knowing how strong her loyalty to him and his beliefs is. and that’s not the only reason she’d be chosen, of course: she’s really fucking capable. she 100% definitely deserves to be second in command and i’d never imply otherwise. but if taylor was ever opposed by someone, he’d want his most trusted and loyal soldier to be his second. again, she’s extremely capable and trust and loyalty are definitely necessary. those are the traits any leader would want in their second. but i have to question exactly what other benefits there would be to that trustworthiness and loyalty. 

that point would play a stronger role in the season 2/scrapped script concepts of taylor being an awful ruler who genuinely believes what he’s doing is right, but idk. i just wanted to throw that note in because whether or not taylor chose wash to be his second or hope plaza had had someone else in mind can be a really key factor in understanding how tn had been planned pre-first pilgrimage. and that in itself is key to understanding the groundwork for its government. 

so apart from taylor and wash, who else has power in the colony? the lower members of the security team definitely have their own groups of people they’re in charge of, their own tasks and jobs that are responsible for the safety of the colony. but they swear their loyalty to taylor as well. the majority of the people in terra nova who carry weapons are loyal to taylor. 

anyone else with power don’t have nearly that much of it. these people are like malcolm, chief of the science division, or anyone who has responsibility over any area of work, from agriculture to medical. but they don’t have guns, in most cases. they dont have political power. if taylor needs something from them, they really have no choice but to do it unless they want to lose their lives. and if taylor were to ever change from the man hope plaza had sent through the portal, that’s a highly probable scenario. 

maybe, just maybe, trusting a military leader to be in charge in a highly military society wasn’t exactly the best idea. yeah, you have laws. yeah, you have a leader whose motivations align with yours. yeah, you have trustworthy people of other kinds of power stationed there too. but you can’t communicate with your colony 99% of the time. you have no idea what’s going on with the future of the human race but because you trusted this one main individual to carry out your vision, you have to just believe that it’s all going as planned. 

yeah, trusting multiple people of different personalities and ideals could have led to other issues such as inefficient leadership or, in a more extreme case, civil war. but that could happen as soon as a group of people in the colony all disagree with taylor, appoint their own rebellion leader, and try to overthrow him. and tbh? this group could be of any ideals, aligned with hope plaza’s or not. 

the sixers were a highly premeditated case of this. they had their leader, she had her bosses, they had their bosses. and they planned to take over the colony. they did take over the colony. and hope plaza had no fucking idea. 

then if you flip the ideals, let’s say taylor becomes oppressive and the people rebel. there’s a very very slim chance those people will be able to successfully take out an oppressive ruler and get right back on track with hope plaza’s plans all while hope plaza has no fucking clue this is happening. 

what else could they have done then? establish a multi-branch or multi-level government? establish a dictatorship that actually has term limits? if so then how would the next leader be chosen? by vote? what type of voting system then? or would hope plaza just periodically sent in her leaders based on what’s being reported back to them? 

the issue is that hope plaza has no fucking idea if what’s being reported back to them or not is true. maybe if they hadnt put one person in charge of so goddamn much power, this wouldnt be the case. maybe if theyd established a better two-way communication system or a way to make the portal go both ways, it would be easier to keep tabs on it all. too bad the whole “let’s make the portal go both ways” thing got hijacked by greedy bad guys. maybe if a government’s success didnt rely on changing to accommodate an ever-changing population of people, things would have been less complicated. 

but that’s not the point. if government were less complicated, this post wouldn’t be here. if government were less complicated, we wouldnt need such diversity in fictional representations of it to analyze and compare to our own real life systems. or maybe it’s not even an issue of government, but an issue of the people in charge of it. or rather, how those people might change in comparison to who they were when they were put in power and how they adapt to how their own civilization also changes. but then is it an issue of government needing more fluidity? with a constantly changing colony... it’s just hard to believe that one single person who is just as subject to negative development as any of the civilians may not have been the best call. but it’s not like we’ll ever get to see whatever mess evolves from it for ourselves. 

i was gonna make this make sense but here’s a bullshit fake-profound ending so i can go play minecraft w some gays. taylor is a mess and so am i bye

[the-queer-fox]

What started as a joke, quickly devolved into insanity. I thought, How far can I go?

Anyone who knows me, knows how dangerous I become when I ask that question.

For the moment, I was stuck at 162,188 characters over tumblr's character limit, but I wasn't done

OH NO

I WAS JUST GETTING STARTED.

I wanted that little red number to reach the 7 digits. Only then would I be satisfied.

After 2 attempts and 2 crashes, I realized my strategy wasn't working. I needed to change how I approached this. So I got that number to about 159,000k and then copied that to my clipboard (most of it,,, it was too big to actually fit).

Perfect. I was ready to begin.

I actually didn't think this would work but I'll try it anyway.

. . .

oh well it probably wasnt meant to b-

wait.

HOLY SHIT, IT WORKED????

um ok... but it probably wont work aga-

. . .

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. OKAY. WE HAVE A WINNER.

But how far can this really go?

Tumblr can't possibly let me get any more than that!

and it fucking did.

If I sound like a broken record here, it's because I genuinely didn't think my dumbass could pull this off.

I seriously thought this stupid experiment would implode halfway through.

But I am stubborn and I will push this to it's fucking limit.

tumblr... why?

you're giving me too much power!

WHY WOULD YOU LET ME OF ALL PEOPLE DO THIS?!?!

I don't know what to say... This wasn't supposed to actually work!

What the fuck.

Well, since I'm almost there, might as well.

. . .

at this point I actually thought it was gonna crash because the keyboard had disappeared (which happened all the other times I crashed tumblr's ask box). so like gg I guess, it had a good-

. . .

TUMBLR I WAS KIDDING

I FUCKING DID IT?!

. . .

And so I did. What moral has this taught me? I dunno. What did I learn from this? Dont know. Will I do this again? Probably not.

And thus ends the lemon pasta saga...

until I get bored.

@t00-gay-to-function

Frands

[koishikomeijiofficial]

im p sure ive developed an underlying fear of groups/communities now

specifically RP groups, but its extended to where im now terrified to join any kind of community

first there was the old vocaloid rp group rejectrp which was great and fine for a long time, but when they decided to switch to dA’s new at the time group format versus a dA account, they told all of us that we had to reapply (bullshit, imo) and that after reapplication we couldnt use our old rp accounts anymore we had to create new ones (DOUBLE bullshit) so i ended up breaking off from there as did many other members

that rp is where i met a lot of people, some friends and some awful people, such as someone who i’ll refer to as P, who would occasionally ‘remind’ me that ‘youre one of my closest friends if it werent for you id have killed myself’ and other such guilt slinging manipulative shit. it got to the point where one time i made a tumblr post asking ppl to tag nsfw and p messaged me on skype whining about how “i guess you’ll have to unfollow me then because i’m not tagging shit” even funnier since i never actually followed them in the first place. when i told them i had enough and blocked them they started texting me, telling me i ‘blew up for no reason’, and when i blocked them everywhere they manipulated a friend into trying to talk to me for them and then cleared half their dA gallery, posting a journal that said “you made me do this you know who you are” so yeah

i think one of the biggest factors in this was a DR rp group. it went fine for a bit but before the main story even started the mods shut down the group, saying something like school would make them too busy and for some reason they didnt account for school??????? yikes. i suggested in the chat that the remaining members should make our own group and we did, mostly a skype group chat and a chatzy room. i made it very clear to everyone that i would not be stalking the chat and if anyone needed me they could ping me by mentioning my name or the name of any of my characters. everyone knew this. everyone agreed to this. they started making google docs/charts for things and i went and added my characters but soon i discovered that they were actively being removed from the docs. i brought this up, saying i felt like they were excluding me, and they had the gall to say “well you’re never here so” and i had to bring up yet again that they AGREED to me saying if they needed me they should ping me because wow, unlike yall, i dont spend literally all day staring at a skype window and replying to every single thing yall say at 5674685798 messages per second! i angrily left the group and a few members attempted to tell me i was wrong, i wasnt being excluded (then what the fuck is going on with someone actively removing my characters from the docs??? the fuck is that????) and the self-proclaimed leader of the new group also mysteriously had nothing to say to me or about the issue at all. fuck those guys. i hope that at least one of them sees this post, reads this, and remembers how shitty they were to me. (not to mention it was honestly uncomfortable that a lot of the members got pretty sexual w each others characters and it was. very uncomfy)

i joined another DR group at some point which also shut down before it even started. i was absolutely livid; i’d already sat thru this shit once and i was angry that the same thing happened, and i wasnt about to let it devolve into the shitstorm that had occurred with the other group. i simply left a last, angry message on my character’s blog and never looked back. (i do follow at least one person from that group tho, they dont post often but their art is Perfect)

i also used to run dA’s first MMD group (using the group format at least, which was new at the time) and boy did it get hectic. every time i got mods to help me they did work for maybe 2 days and then never did anything, one such admin would be rude and horrible to people who broke the rules (which in a repeat offenders case might be needed but she was cursing out ppl who were like 11) and occasionally i’d post a journal saying submissions were down for a weekend for group cleaning, may people tried to submit anyway and i even got one profilic (at the time) animator who bitched and moaned about how “if i cant submit here where am i supposed to go” despite being told that the cleaning only lasted for TWO DAYS and that they could submit after the cleaning was over

and in a certain mmd group’s monthly contest back from when i was a mod there, some racist shit came up SPOKEN BY THE MODS TO THE PEOPLE WHO BROUGHT UP THE CONCERNS (the contest theme that month was a western theme and one of the ‘inspiration’ pictures was a white-ass chick in stereotypical ‘haha look at me im wearing le indian clothes and a headdress X3′ outfits and people who are actually native brought up this concern, and the other mods basically told them to shut up with one even unironically saying “yeah im like 1/354764586456547458th native so i’m a dutch girl who can do whatever i want”) and when i tried to explain to them why their racist shit wasn’t okay i was told to be silent, so i quit

so yeah i think maybe all my shitty group experiences have made me absolutely terrified of groups in general. maybe that’s why i’m so afraid to join the local lolita community

[all-star-brad-hand]

so i finally pretty much saw star trek beyond and i feel like talking about it just a lil tiny bit

first of all i like...i dont know. i had no interest in it and i wasnt expecting it to be good, so i guess im biased. but then at the same time, i was underwhelmed somehow? like i mean the way people kept talking about how much closer to and inspired by tos it was...i didnt get that feeling at all.

the script was just so......so underwhelming. the villain did not interest me, the black and green glowy dudes who looked like super soldiers from stargate did not interest me. the giant space insect cloud thing was a decent idea but it was ruined by the music stuff. i did not give a flyin pop tart that the enterprise crashed, but i never cared for that current design anyway so i am not qualified to talk about it lol. whatsherface with the black lines on her face had the interesting language quirks, which i thought was cool, we dont get enough of that tbh. the references to tos reminded me overmuch of the stuff they did with enterprise season 4, which in my view was just “here’s 500% more tos references” (and i will really really never understand why so so SO many people say that stuff is some of the best star trek ever filmed but that is a discussion for another day).

didnt find the comedy funny, altho i admit that i am extremely extremely picky about what i find funny so 99% of things wont make me crack a smile (for example when i saw tfa in theaters i was straight faced at literally everything the rest of the audience laughed at). but i mean that thing where spock is explaining something and nobody understands it and then uhura or whoever chimes in “we can do the thing and kick ass” like oh my goodness that sounds like something from a cbs crime show what on EARTH. the stuff at the beginning with the angry aliens was particularly frustrating because of how much potential it had, like jeez when kirk was like “ah yes this weapon fragment is...uh...a treasured symbol of. .. . peace” that was great!!!!!! and then it just devolves into the aliens screaming and kirk making faces!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think the issue here is that these reboot movies have no leg to stand on except the characters, and they dont really have any leg to stand on themselves. and i mean, if you like the characters and enjoy them then i am happy for you. ive done it myself man, i took freakin vlad the space knight who got two lines and died from aldnoah zero and turned him into a favorite character of mine, same with cutler beckett from pirates of the caribbean, so i know that ppl can single out characters who might not be really well developed and enjoy them anyway. theres nothing wrong with that and i aint sayin there is. its just that i cant do that with these characters, not at all. they didnt get three seasons of a show with gene coon writing their interactions, they didnt get movies like wrath of khan that emphasized their bonds. they got named after and vaguely based on the tos characters, thrown into two movies that i personally think are both kind of lousy (i know ‘09 is considered one of the Good Star Trek Films but i am not quite in that camp myself), and then now we have this movie where kirk and spock and mccoy are like kinda getting development now and mccoy says “MY GOD MAN” and “MY GOD SPOCK” and they were out there for three years but we didnt see any of it and stuff. like the guys who wrote this were trying, and i will give them that, but it doesnt work for me because it just...should really never have been done in the first place.

well i guess THAT last opinion is very arguable, im sure even paramount would disagree strongly with me since theyve made some decent cash off these films lol. but its just...after seeing beyond, i think it was too late to try to recreate the bond of tos in these films. not after into darkness in particular. and i mean they are trying SO HARD with the original cast photo and the thing with everyone reading space the final frontier at the end but it just doesnt work for me.

i think its worth adding that im also of the opinion (which i guess is another divisive one) that the best of tos and the best of the tos movies had a certain tone to the dialogue and interactions which is not reflected here (a certain tone that im very very biased about because it involves lots of witty ass dialogue and i absolutely love it). that may be due to how the characters and world differ from tos, but if thats the case, it sort of renders two things moot: a) the attempt to match the tos tone and b) the usage of the tos characters in the first place (tho thats a problem i oughta take up with jj abrams i suppose). it could also stem from the writers’ personal styles, in which case it would just be a matter of my personal opinion preferring other styles to theirs. but either way thats one of the things that is most strongly dissimilar to tos about this movie, whether or not there were any attempts made to match it. the only line i caught that made me get the tos vibe was the thing i mentioned earlier with kirk talking to the angry aliens, and like i said that vibe was lost very quickly.

its a personal thing of course, but after into darkness i just gave up on any sense of obligation i felt for these movies being Part Of Star Trek. and i mean, even WITH that, with the lack of caring and lack of expectation and lack of just plain LIKING that i felt, i found myself underwhelmed. that honestly surprised me because i was expecting to either begrudgingly like it or totally hate it and i was just left saying “oh...thats it? okay”. it wasnt a violent reaction of dislike...more like when i watched tangled for the first time and sat there like “jeez this is what everyone says is one of the best disney movies??? it wasnt BAD but jeez”. so i guess ultimately im kind of praising the movie because it sure didnt hit me like into darkness did!