#went a little too far into the beyond section but like

[twistedappletree]

i’m in that part of youtube again

[comparofabulae]

I should make DnD verses for everyone, but you know what's more entertaining to me? if they somehow find themself stuck in the wrong setting

[maximumzombiecreator]

Since I've had a few people asking about megadungeon stuff recently, and I am an avowed megadungeon megafan, I thought it might be fun to walk through an actual example of megadungeon play that exemplifies what I like best about it.

This post is going to be the first in a series talking about a room from a megadungeon that I ran over 20 years ago (brushing past that fact quickly lest the horrors set in.) It was a major room, probably the most complex and important in the dungeon, and the players passed through it frequently throughout the campaign. In this post I'll introduce you to the room, and then in later posts I'll talk about what it does well and how to use that lesson more generally. Below the cut is a reproduction of the map as I remember it.

Without getting into The Lore too deeply, some dwarves accidentally dug into hell, as one does. Classic trope, nothing wrong with using them. They quite sensibly shut the mine down and sealed if off, but word got out. A human king heard about this, and took over the mine, expanding it into a temple complex to curry favour / barter with hell. It went badly, as such things do.

This concourse connects several wings of the dungeon, spanning several floors. An enormous devil face statue emerges from the northern wall, above the second floor balcony and below the fourth, and a column of light shines through a hole in the ceiling onto the center of the floor. Several floors of balconies overlook the chamber, though the stairs to the fourth floor balcony have long since collapsed.

This chamber was not too far from the main entrance, with the party first encountering it on their second delve into the dungeon, though it would take two more delves for them to gather the courage to enter it. At the time they first encountered it, it was swarming with imps and other little devils worshipping the big face.

I'll summarize the key:

A. Hallway from the Entry Chambers, the first and easiest section of the dungeon.

B. Doorway to the Pilgrim's City.

C. Doorway to the Unholiest of Unholies. Sealed and warded against simple spells.

D. Doorway to the Old Dwarven Quarters.

E. Doorway to the Nobles' Section. Barred from the far side.

F. Portcullis to the Pilgrim's City. The mechanism has rusted out and no longer functions.

G. Doorway to the Halls of the Clergy.

H. Doorway from the King's Inner Sanctum.

I. Doorway to the Archive.

J. Doorway to the King's Inner Sanctum, locked.

K. Doorway to The Indulgences.

Stairway from floor 1 to floor 2.

Light from the hole in the ceiling.

Broken stairs from floor 2 to floor 4.

Big ole devil face. Its eyes are a one-way illusion, allowing anyone within the face to view the room below.

Okay that's a lot, thanks for sticking it out. While I don't want to wander too far off topic into the rest of the dungeon, I'll just briefly note that the Pilgrim's City and Old Dwarven Quarters are easier sections of the dungeon, the Nobles Section and Halls of the Clergy are slightly more difficult, the King's Inner Sanctum, Archive, and Indulgences are very dangerous, and the Unholiest of Unholies is, as one might expect, where the worst things (and best loot) in the dungeon are. This was 2nd edition AD&D, so there was not a presumption of fights being balanced, and traipsing through more dangerous sections of the dungeon at lower levels wasn't uncommon. The players also understood the varying levels of danger fairly implicitly, since the custom at the time was that any time you went a level further away from whatever the ground floor was, things got more dangerous. The only exception to this is the Unholiest of Unholies and I think we can agree that when it's beyond a magically sealed door under a giant devil head the danger is telegraphed.

Next post I'll start talking about what made this room work so well in practice.

[yanderecxre]

Yandere!Retired Colonel headcanons

You only knew him by his nickname, "Saint", beyond that you knew nothing about him. But oh, did he know everything about you.

You, sweet and young, fresh outta college and working at the base he was stationed at before he decided to retire. You who took care of the daycare on base, who didn't even bat an eye at the insanity that the children you took care of looked like.

Saint even adopted a kid from the dumb program just to have an excuse to talk and see you, little Henry was a pain in the ass, literally and figuratively. The brat always clung to you, crying he didn't wanna go home. Making Saint look like a terrible grandfather. "Listen here you little brat, I'm trying to make sure they can't just up and leave, so start acting like I'm the greatest grandfather alive before you scare them off!"

Sweet, young bleeding heart little you. Always talking and smiling at him like he's some regular guy and not a powerful Colonel who could (and would if you ever tempted or forced his hand) ruin your budding little career before the hour ended. Of course though he'd never do that, not with how often he sees you now, at drop off, pick up, sometimes you ask guardians to help around the daycare, he's there every time.

Saint, who once he decides you're his, immediately gets to work implementing himself in your life, both personal and professional. Using little Henry as an excuse, poor boy getting used as an excuse for why the two ran into you everywhere you seemed to go. "Oh, hello Henry, Saint! What brings you two to the library?" You smile and ask as you hold a small stack of books, unaware that Saint was scanning the titles so he could ask you next time which was your favorite. Saint smiles and holds Henry's shoulder, laughing slightly. "Poor boy practically cried and threw a fit demanding we come to the library because he wanted to read and play in the kids section!" You were far too busy to see Henry glaring at Saint, his eyes darkening as you smiled and talked to him.

Saint, who finally asks you out on a proper date (you don't know of course that the date will be your last in a while, he already has your room set up in his cabin. Henry helped him pick everything out, the kid loved you too much to let his idiot of a grandfather make you feel unhappy.) When you accepted he smiled and offered to pick you up, you spent the rest of the day smiling and giggling as Henry clung to your leg pouting.

That night, you had a lovely date, perfect in every way, Saint was the perfect gentleman. Letting you order whatever you wanted and asking about your interests and life. He even insisted you call him by his actual name, Nicolas. He loved the way it rolled off your tongue, could only imagine you moaning and whimpering it as he went down on you later on-

You felt woozy during the last bit of the date, had you drank more than you thought, no way... you couldn't have, you looked up over at him, Saint looked perfectly fine, not like you. You stumbled slightly out your seat, he was there, holding you steady. "Oh dear, poor thing, let's get you home yeah sweetheart? You had lots to drink, I'll get your dessert to go." He murmured in your ear, holding you closely to his side his large hand firmly on your hip, keeping you near him.

The last thing you remember before passing out was Saint, helping you to his car. Hand on your hips as he assured you everything was alright, that you were just tipsy. Something in his voice made you feel weird but it got overshadowed by your head muddling as you whimpered softly and promptly passed out. You never knew that he drugged you, he wasn't a monster. He just needed you woozy enough to get you to his cabin.

"Don't look at me like that little brat, they're just unconscious. What? You gonna sleep by their bedside to protect their virtue?" "Yeah, because I don't trust you, grandfather." "You little fucker- Jesus! Did you just bite me?!"

[ruanbaijie]

I’ve been thinking a lot about KoD/ The Spirealm lately (no surprises there), and I think, after having watched the show two times and read the novel a couple of times, I have an inkling of a theory of what really happened in The Spirealm. And I don’t mean just the ending. I mean what was really going on throughout the entire show. Because when I was doing my rewatch, I noticed that beyond the obvious lines, this show is rife with foreshadowing.

So here’s my theory, with evidence picked out here and there from the show. Beware: this will get very long, and a lot of it might be overthinking on my part (as an INTJ, overthinking is my middle name). There will be spoilers for BOTH the novel and the show, so if you don’t want to be spoiled for either or for both, perhaps you might want to scroll on or save this post for another day.

But, if you’re absolutely curious and totally okay with spoilers… We shall press on.

When I finished the show for the first time, I went “oh god yet another open-ended cdrama ending”, and only had two theories for what that ending meant.

1. Everything had really happened, everyone that had been involved had really gone into the doors. When RNZ managed to cleanse the game, ~somehow~ time got rewound and events got rewritten, and everyone (including those who had died) went back to how they had been before encountering the games, memories wiped clean and all, except for LQS.

2. LQS had dreamed everything up in those few seconds between getting hit by the car and regaining consciousness. The games did not happen in reality at all.

The first one didn’t sit well with me, just because it seemed too damn unlikely. Even if we were to consider advanced technology and all, it just seemed too… far-fetched (for lack of a better word) for such a technology to completely rewind time and rewrite things, including the minds of everyone except LQS.

So I thought well okay maybe it’s Theory 2 which seemed more likely, LQS dreamed up everything and none of it had actually happened, and he spent the next 50 years remaking and rebuilding the entire Spirit Realm. And this theory pained me. Because it meant that after it all, LQS was still alone, and was a RNZ made up with data that LQS had input, who had never “experienced” what they had experienced together, really RNZ at all? Besides, how did LQS manage to dream the names and personalities of so many different people so accurately?

Which leads me to Theory 3, which is actually pretty close to what had really happened in the novel, and also kind of an offshoot of Theory 1, but with a but.

Now, circling back to Theory 1, it’s a chilling thought that something like this could happen in reality. But what if, what if, what we thought was reality reality is not actually reality? Could there be a technology that’s so great it could rewind time and rewrite events and minds… à la The Matrix? 

And so, Theory 3, which is the one I strongly believe (with >95% conviction) is what really happened:

THE WHOLE SHOW IS DOOR 12.

My supporting evidence, split into a few sections:

The Forum Scene

More Individual Instances

Common Motifs

What Happened Outside the 12th Door? + Unanswered Questions

A Simple Chronological Diagram

Tidbits

EXHIBIT A: THE FORUM SCENE

This was a very quick cameo of Wu Qi scrolling on the forum and then proceeding to still impersonate as a college-going girl (after the crying baby arc). There was absolutely no reason for this scene to be there, which highlights just how important this little cameo discussing the 12th door is and what it could entail.

A summary of what this says (bolded parts added by myself for emphasis), as far as I can since some parts are blocked:

A Quick Deduction: The Rules of the 12th Door

Everyone says that the higher the level of the door, the closer to reality it gets. That means that the 12th door is extremely close to reality. In the 12th door, your entire world is exactly the same as the real world, and there might even be doors within doors.

The people who enter the 12th door will lose all memories, including those of their relationships, and will exist in the 12th door with the identity of “if they had lived till then without entering the doors”. An NPC will replace the “personality” of the person who enter the doors, and other than their appearance, their personality and identity will be very similar, and the progress rate will be very high. (This sentence is quite blocked out so I don’t really get it.)

Then, the two will meet. Because after waking in the 12th door, one will find themselves in the “1st door”, then meeting place will naturally be in the world of the doors.

After that, the condition to clear the game would be to, under such circumstances, go through the eleven doors all over again.

I know, it’s a forum post, and it was titled “deduction”, but this is exactly what the novel was revealed to be about, and it also explains a lot of the foreshadowing that I started seeing throughout the show.

EXHIBIT B: VARIOUS INDIVIDUAL INSTANCES

Right at the start of the show, even before entering his supposed 1st door, LQS is shown to already have very sharp hearing. If these additional abilities are gifted by the doors to selected people, then why does LQS already have it not just outside the doors, but also even before setting foot into one? Unless, he is not outside the doors, and he has already set foot into not just one, but in fact, several.

RNZ says this line when he is directing LQS to run from the wolf. This is not just a foreshadowing for RNZ’s identity as an NPC, but also hints that the people that RNZ has been “directing” till that point (think all those people in the villa, including the twins, Chen Fei, etc.) were also not “live people”, but NPCs.

After the 1st door, LQS returns to the real world, while still wearing the jacket he had put on in the door. It is later mentioned that only selected props from the doors can be brought out and back in for special uses to be figured out by the players themselves. So how can LQS return to the real world with the jacket, which is never mentioned to be one such prop?

Ah yes, the lovely RNZ fake death scene. It’s a huge piece of foreshadowing for RNZ’s identity, but it might be foreshadowing something more. I’ve wondered, since RNZ is an NPC, if he “died” in one of the doors, would he respawn somewhere else? This quote might be referring to that. But it also sounds very much like he’s hinting to LQS that what he thought was reality was also not reality at all.

In the penultimate episode, LQS, out and about after his accident, running first to the villa to see if RNZ and co. are still there, and then proceeding to question himself if his reality is really reality at all. I think it's at this point he starts to suspect that he's really still in the world of the doors.

The final pre-time leap scene: notice how LQS says find (寻找) the point where reality and virtual world meet, and not create (创造)? Which means that here, LQS has already realised that this reality is not reality at all, but he’s still in the world of the doors. Now, he has to find the point where reality and virtual world meet, i.e. the physical 12th door.

Post-time leap: “including the 12th door”. After spending 50 more years in the 12th door, LQS has finally found the physical 12th door, at the point where reality and virtual world meet.

And when he touches RNZ’s hand, he gets restored to his younger self, because he has solved and unlocked the 12th door and the 50 years that had passed have not really passed at all.

EXHIBIT C: COMMON MOTIFS

1. Kaleidoscopes

Of course, kaleidoscopes. The original intention was definitely as nod to the name of the novel, but they’ve been written into the plot in a different way. Also a clue to RNZ’s identity as an NPC, since the only other ones that have been shown to have kaleidoscopes are the NPCs/ door gods. But, the kaleidoscopes only appeared in the doors, but RNZ has been shown to have them outside the doors. Unless… you know the drill by now.

2. Corridors

In the first episode alone, not one, not two, but four hallways of doors are shown. The first is a straight corridor that starts off the entire show (with credits and all), the second is another straight corridor and is shown to be rotating clockwise, and the third and fourth are the one we’re most familiar with: the one with the doors facing one another like a cross-section of a kaleidoscope. Here’s my theory for each: the first one is the “real” one, the one that LQS walks to get to the 12th door. It starts off the entire show and hints that the entire show is the 12th door. The second one that rotates (see next point on this motif) is the one in the bootleg game that LQS plays in the PC bang. The fourth one is when LQS enters the door world within the 12th door.

Also, this could very well just be an artistic choice, but note how in the poster of the show, the doors are also shown not in the cross-sectional kaleidoscope format, but in a straight corridor.

3. Circularity

I don’t know how to summarise this motif because it’s a combination of a few, but this show has a lot of circles, things in rotation, clock imageries, and the idea of things being in reverse.

The clue that Gao Dawei gives LQS through the kid NPC, “Flower in the water, moon in the mirror” (水中花，镜中月) is actually a reversal of an actual Chinese idiom “Flower in the mirror, moon in the water” (镜中花，水中月), which means a mirage, something that is an illusion. While this is a huge analogy for the whole real world vs. door world theme, it’s also another instance of reversal or something flipped in the show.

Some other examples are the flipped clock in the 11th door, RNZ’s quote in the 11th door about ending at the beginning, and even in the lyrics of that painful song that plays whenever someone dies: “Please don’t rewind time again, for I’m afraid I will do anything regardless of the cost” (请别再倒数时间，我怕我会不顾一切). Now… this idea of circularity, of rewinding time, of going back to the beginning to end… sounds a lot like everything restarting again after LQS emerges from the “11th door” and finding himself in a car accident. Or maybe, just maybe, it also sounds a lot like going back to the first 11 doors to finish the 12th door, doesn’t it?

4. Repeated Phrases

Now these might REALLY just be me overthinking. But Wu Qi mentioned a couple of things in his monologue (side note: this show has some SERIOUSLY GOOD angsty monologues) that made me go… hang on a second. These mentions of “light”, “the meaning of friendship”, and “path” - they were all also brought up in previous conversations between LQS and RNZ. “Light” - so many times (another side note: I find it hilarious that Xia Zhiguang also has the same “light” character in his name, so whenever RNZ says that LQS “has light on him” I get sad at the foreshadowing but I also snicker a bit for Reasons). “The meaning of friendship” - when RNZ and LQS argue over accompanying TZZ into her 6th door.

“Path” - when RNZ and LQS walk under the umbrella in the rain doll arc and RNZ mentions (also foreshadowing) that “legs are longer than paths, and paths will always have an end”. Again, these might jolly well just be coincidences, but my overthinking brain says I think not. Because, if LQS is really still in the door world, then Wu Qi and everyone else around him are really NPCs, and then it makes sense for the system to throw these words that had popped up before, in situations where Wu Qi was never present, right back at him.

5. Premonitions

There are so many of these. 

In episode 1, LQS already briefly “hears” the blades of the air vent of the room he had been trapped in with Gao Dawei, even though he’s still in the PC bang and the memory of that kidnapping is not at the forefront of his mind… unless it had already been triggered at some time shortly before that (i.e. in the “real” door whatever number it was when he had met the NPC that revealed the nature of the doors to him).

Just before LQS is hit by the car, he sees a door on the road, that is the same door as one of the two in the 11th door - the one that represents “illusory life”. How did LQS manage to conjure up the image of a door that only appears in his future? Unless, he has already seen the door before in the real 11th door.

BUT that being said, in the same flashes, he does also see the kaleidoscope cross-section style (seriously, I need a better name for this) of doors - the third hallway he sees in the first episode. This one, admittedly, I’m still trying to figure out, since technically, based on the theory I’m working out, at that point, he should not have yet actually stepped into the hallway.

LQS also encounters Li Dongyuan and Xiong Qi in the “real world” before he enters his “1st door”.

And also explains why he could dream the names and personalities of so many different people so accurately before actually meeting them “in real life” (that asshole in the hospital arc - I forgot his name -, Xiao Ke, Chen Fei, the twins, TZZ, Lu Yanxue), including the “real” owner of the villa.

This might also be me overthinking and just be the cast trolling, but the “actual” Spirit Realm game in the “real world” also seems to draw upon elements of what LQS had experienced in his 11 doors in the show, albeit in a more chibi form: from the door and Nanqiu and Toast and Chestnut on the front page, to the kaleidoscope and entering the door on the loading page, and the woman in the rain, Xiao Jiu, rain doll, nurse, and Zuozi characters on the game grid. If this was really the real world, was it really a coincidence that LQS had “dreamed” or “experienced” doors that had these very same elements? Or do we have cause and effect the other way round here, where the “reality” is actually drawing on what LQS had “dreamed” or “experienced” in the doors? I say, it’s no coincidence at all.

EXHIBIT D: WHAT HAPPENED OUTSIDE THE 12TH DOOR? + UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

Now, if the entire show is about the 12th door, then what happened in the real world? In doors 1-11? Well, it could be anything at this point.

Perhaps it’s something closer to the novel, where there’s nothing game-related about it at all, and people get pulled into the doors because they're about to die a sudden death, and the world of the doors is a "gift" for them to fight for that chance to continue living. The whole business is really just a supernatural thing, and the 12th door just happened to take on the setting of a virtual reality game.

Or, perhaps it’s really more like the show, where doors 1-11 happened exactly as they did (or close to) in the show, where LQS had to save the world from the nasty game that had been sullied by the capitalists in Piao Liang Guo (an analogy for the USA, if you haven’t yet realised), but he had to sacrifice his closest friend (read: bosom buddy) for the sake of the greater good.

Again, it could be anything. But I’d like to believe that it’s the latter. Because it goes exactly with the idea of circularity (see Common Motifs), of starting from the beginning again. 

But, post that, after everything is said and done, does RNZ end up going to the real world? I really hope so, because I need my happy ending damn it. It was possible in the novel which was more supernatural-coded, so the idea of a door god stepping out of this supernatural door world and into the real one to live with his husband seems a bit more… probable. (I know we’re talking about fiction here but please hear me out it’s like the walrus vs. fairy thing.) But if RNZ is really just made up of data, how the heck does data step out from the virtual world and into the real one? Maybe LQS really does end up making a ��body” for him in the real world and takes a few years (or decades) to code him from scratch? But that just kinda goes back to my 意难平 with Theory 2 - is this RNZ really RNZ? Not to mention, the pain of LQS being alone for decades and trying to make RNZ from scratch.

Another unanswered question: what the heck is with LQS’s evolving hairstyle and fashion throughout the show? Is it an analogy for LQS’s changing personality, that even TZZ’s director “friend” mentions in episode 62? Or does it symbolise something else? I really don’t know, at this point.

EXHIBIT E: A SIMPLE CHRONOLOGICAL DIAGRAM

If you’ve managed to read till here, MASSIVE kudos to you. And here’s a simple diagram that I drew on PPT just to illustrate this entire theory, because I was also confusing the heck out of myself and I needed to see it visually to make sense of it.

EXHIBIT F: TIDBITS

These don’t really support Theory 3, but I’m including them anyway because I find them… interesting.

There’s a Yuyu Hakusho book in LQS and Wu Qi’s apartment. Now I’m in no way familiar with that series (I only watched that one live action adaptation of it), but in that series, there also exists a Spirit World (霊界, Reikai), which (ahem Wiki copy and paste) is the world where sentient beings (humans and demons) go after they die; not the equivalent of heaven or hell, but a station in between worlds where a soul's fate is decided. Which sounds… a lot like the premise of the doors in the actual novel.

I also find it extremely punny that the drama changed LQS’s name to Ling Jiushi (凌久时). For one, the characters for Jiushi are the exact ones that mean “long time” - which reminds me of the final exchange that RNZ and LQS have in the show. Also, the fact that his surname is now Ling instead of Lin? Absolutely hilarious… once you realise that the Chinese slang for bottoms in a MLM pair is 0 (零)… pronounced exactly the same way as show!LQS’s surname. And, if you haven’t yet figured out the running thread through this entire damn long ass post by now: coincidence? I think not.

[moongothic]

So for a while I had wanted to make a knitted sweater or a cardigan with thick, vertical stripes. Needless to say though I was having a hard time brainstorming HOW to make that such a thing. Colorwork would be doable if I wanted to do thin stripes, but I wanted the stripes to be like a good 5-8 cm wide. That would result in a lot of extremely long floats, which would make knitting it a pain in the ass and far beyond my skill level (if not straight up impossible?), but also it'd be such a waste of yarn. But, I figured... people make granny square sweaters and cardigans where they sew the individual pieces together. Hell, knitters make sweaters and cardigans in pieces too. So, if I wanted to knit something with vertical stripes, what'd stop me from knitting each stripe as an individual piece and then sewing them together?

Now, a lot of this project was me figuring things out as I went along (partially because for a while I wasn't sure if this project would work out, and if I'd be able to make a cardigan at all or if I'd have to make a sweater instead), knitting pieces and sewing them together as I went instead of making all the pieces first and then putting them all together in a grand finale. So I don't have photos of the individual stripes I knit up pre-sewing. Each stripe ended up being about 7 cm wide but their lenghts vary depending on where they're placed (sides are shorter to make room for the arms etc), and two stripes on the front I knit into a sharp point to shape the neck opening. In total I knit 13 pieces to make the body of the cardigan

Now I did originally intend to just sew the pieces together using mattress stitch, but as I was sewing, I just... Did not like how it was turning out. It wasn't quite as seamless as I had hoped it would be, but more importantly, if you pulled on the sewn pieces at all you'd end up with a gaping hole between the pieces (not pictured) that just felt really unsecure. So I tried just crocheting the pieces and, honestly, I did prefer it quite a bit. It felt stronger than the mattress stitch and it blended into the knit way better, so that's what I ended up going with

I did however mattress stitch the tops together (I don't understand why it felt better/stronger up there than on the sides but whatever, if it works it works)

I did originally make arm holes waaay too big by accident. Fortunately it was easy to fix though, since I had made sure all the pieces were attached the same way- starting row at the bottom edge and bind-off at the top. I just had to undo the bind off on the side pieces of the cardigan and knit a few more rows before binding off again (and crocheting the extended sections together), aka I didn't have to rip the cardigan apart or anything to redo these sections (Yellow stripe on the left has already been extended (black marker shows where I picked up from), about to start knitting the black stripe on the right)

With all of that done, the body of the cardigan was mostly done! I was maybe a liiittle bit concerned about the fit, but I knew I wanted the ribbing to be as wide as the stripes were, so the ribbing was going to "complete" the fit; I had taken that into considderation when I was originally mathing out the size of the cardigan (how many stripes I'd have to make and how wide they'd have to be etc (though I did have to adjust that math a few times during the process lmao)) (Also; the reason I wanted to make a cardigan instead of a sweater is because I prefer clothes I can wear open. Like I don't really like hoodies without zippers because I can't open them, where as hoodies that do have zippers I wear all the time and I pretty much always leave them open. So even if this cardigan had turned out a little snug, it'd be fine, because I know I wouldn't button it up anyways lmao)

I figured doing the ribbing in crochet would be easier, but man. It took me fucking forever to figure out how to do the ribbing. For starters, the yellow yarn I've been using I've actually been holding double this whole time (while knitting), and so I was unsure if I wanted to hold it double for the ribbing as well or hold it single. I was also unsure if I wanted to do the ribbing in slip stitch, single crochet or double, not to mention figuring out the right hook size. I really did try like 5-10 different combinations before I landed on doing double crochet ribbing with the yarn held single. Like I had wanted to try other methods because I feel like double crochet is too hole-y and loose, but all the other methods made a really thick fabric, much thicker than the knit. And I just didn't like that. The double crochet/held single was the only way to get a fabric that was the same thickness as the knit, so that's what I ended up going with. On the plus side, it was also faster to work up lmao

Once I figured out what technique I wanted to use I just had to crochet the damn thing. Which was fine, though I felt like the ribbing was making the cardigan flare out weirdly (in hindsight I think I was just slightly loosing it at this point lmao I can't see what was wrong with the ribbing looking at that photo again fjdghksdf), so I also did a round around the edge of the ribbing to help secure it into a tighter shape. Once the front of the ribbing was done, I did the bottom ribbing and cleaned that edge up too

And then I ran out of yarn

More specifically, I had been using scrap black yarn I already had in my stash. And after I started knitting the sleeves with the remaining balls, having successfully turned the vest into a button-up t-shirt, yeah, ran out of black. So I had to go and order some more black yarn, one or two balls would probably be enough, just need some cheap wool But I don't want to pay 5 bucks in shipping for 5 bucks of wool, man. If I'm gonna order something I might as well make it worth the shipping (or even better, get the free shipping). Now the plot twist is that I originally began working on this cardigan back in September, and when I ran out of yarn it was October. And I knew in a few weeks I'd be going to a Spooky Convention, and I wanted to wear something Halloween-y to said Spooky Convention. So I put this cardigan on hold for like three weeks (in total) so I could crochet a Spooky Cardigan for the convention.

So yeah this cardigan I did start before I made that other one. Lmao.

Anyway, once that other project was done I finally got back to working on This Fucking Thing and finishing it with the yarn I had gotten. Hilariously the yarn I had bought was actually too thin so I had to hold it double to finish the sleeves, but it's fiiine, I've used all sorts of scrap black yarns for this project and could not tell the difference on what yarn has been used where, it's all wool (or wool alpaca mix) And once the knitting was done, I crochet'd some simple cuffs on the sleeves so it'd match the ribbing. I blocked the cardigan, weaved in all the bajillion ends and sewed on some buttons.

I'm deeply upset blocking ruined the shaping of the collar/ribbing. Like I should've seen it coming, I know crochet is stiff innitially but becomes loose and wavey when blocked. But I somehow forgot, and now the collar looks dumb as hell. Also, because the ribbing is quite thin, it can't actually support the buttons I had picked out for the cardigan, so they just kinda. Flop around and sit there, looking sad and flaccid. Of course, the buttons would be very easy to switch out (esp since I haven't weaved them in yet) but there's a part of me that feels like I should undo the whole ribbing and redo it to fix the collar. But. I've already weaved in everything. Undoing the weaving would be a massive pain in the ass, there's so many yarn ends in there... And I'm not sure I care enough to put in that effort into this.

Another minor thing is that I feel like the neck opening is a bit too open for my personal taste- like the cardigan fits on me perfectly, I did my math just fine on that front, but I prefer something that hugs my neck more and this is really open (especially after blocking ruined my perfect, fitted collar). So I should've left the front black stripes normal instead of doing the shaping on them, or something like that

All of that aside though, I am happy with how this cardigan turned out (especially it's technically my first one, even if I didn't finish it first), it fits perfectly and I'll absolutely wear it around home, it's nice and comfy and warm and that's all I wanted and needed

[nino-rox]

Jake | library + fascįnation

It started off as nothing. In fact, you’d barely noticed him at first. He was just another face in the background, another guy claiming his spot at the far corner of the library. Jake wasn’t the type to be buried in books, that much was obvious. The way he slouched in his chair, feet kicked up, the worn leather jacket slung over the back—he stood out. His blonde hair, messy and effortlessly styled, gleamed faintly under the library's low lighting, adding to his bad-boy allure. But still, the two of you had silently coexisted in the same space for what felt like ages.

You’d both been going to the library since freshman year, coincidentally at the same time, almost every day. You had your favorite spot, two tables away from the large window that overlooked the campus courtyard. It was quiet but not too isolated. You liked the soft natural light that streamed through in the afternoons, and the way you could glance out at the people passing by if you ever needed a break from your textbooks.

Jake, on the other hand, sat further back, near the older sections with the dark wooden shelves that cast deep shadows. It wasn’t a place most people sat, probably because it felt cut off from the rest of the room. Maybe that’s why he liked it. Or maybe it was because no one would dare bother him there. He radiated a sort of intimidating presence that you couldn’t quite pin down at first. The kind of guy who looked like he’d seen it all and didn’t have time for anyone’s shit. But you had a feeling that wasn’t entirely true.

Over the past year, you’d found yourself noticing the details. He wasn’t just some random guy in the corner anymore; he was Jake, the hot bad boy everyone knew of, but no one really knew. Rumors floated around campus about his late-night hookups, his devil-may-care attitude, and the trail of people he left in his wake. You didn’t need to hear the whispers to know he had a reputation. You’d seen him—late at night, in the dorms, more times than you could count. Usually when he was sneaking out after hooking up with someone, his hood pulled low over his face, trying to blend into the shadows of the hallways.

And then, somehow, your paths kept crossing. Maybe it was fate, or maybe just bad timing, but it seemed like you were always walking in and out of the library at the same time. You’d step inside, and there he’d be, sliding into his regular spot just minutes after you. Or you’d pack up your things, and Jake would be right behind you, leaving like it had been some sort of unspoken agreement all along. The more it happened, the less it felt like a coincidence.

That’s when the glances started.

It wasn’t intentional at first. You’d look up from your laptop, your gaze drifting across the room, and there he’d be, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, his eyes already on you. Sharp, dark, intense. The kind of gaze that made your skin prickle with awareness. You told yourself it was nothing—just a random look. But the days passed, and every time you caught his eye, it lingered a little longer. Each glance seemed to say more than the last, a silent conversation neither of you dared to speak aloud.

There was something unspoken between you, something that went beyond mere attraction — a raw, unfiltered yearning, as though each of you were waiting for the other to break the silence.

His eyes did all the talking. And every time they settled on you, dark and heated, you could feel his intent, like he was daring you to do something about the fire sparking between you.

The tension was undeniable. You could feel it every time you stepped into the library, a slow burn that simmered under the surface. It wasn’t just the glances; it was the way the air felt heavier when he was around, the way you could feel him even when you weren’t looking directly at him. And as much as you tried to ignore it, that tension only grew.

The faint musk of old books and worn paper blended with the faint scent of Jake’s cologne, something woodsy and dark, with just enough bite to keep you aware of his presence even when you weren’t looking at him.

It had been months now, and still, neither of you had spoken a word to the other. Yet, somehow, it felt like you knew each other, like you were connected by something unspoken. The library wasn’t the only place your paths crossed. You’d seen him late at night in the dorms, usually after one of his infamous hookups. He’d slip out of someone’s room, his hair disheveled, his hoodie pulled up, eyes catching yours in the dim light of the hallway. He never spoke then either, just offered you a knowing smirk before disappearing into the night.

The first time you ran into him in the dorms had been late, just past midnight. You were heading back to your room after a long evening of studying, mind heavy with fatigue. The hallway was dark, the only light coming from the dim glow of the vending machine near the end. That’s when you saw him. He stepped out of someone’s room, the door closing softly behind him. His hood was up, but you’d recognize that figure anywhere. He walked with a casual swagger, like he owned the night, and as he approached, his eyes flicked up, meeting yours.

There was a beat of silence, the hallway thick with unspoken tension. You could hear the soft hum of the vending machine, the distant sound of someone laughing from down the hall, but none of it mattered. All that existed was him. Jake, standing a few feet away, his gaze locking onto yours in that same way he always did—like he was daring you to say something, to break the fragile quiet between you. But you didn’t. Neither did he.

Instead, he walked past you, his shoulder brushing against yours as he moved down the hall, the scent of his cologne lingering in the air long after he was gone. You stood there, your heart racing, the weight of his presence pressing down on you, even after the sound of his footsteps faded into nothing.

You’d always felt an odd mix of curiosity and confusion whenever you crossed paths with Jake. As much as you tried to deny it, there was something about him that pulled you in. Was it the way his gaze made your heart race? Or maybe it was the mystery—the fact that you couldn’t quite figure him out. But there was also a part of you that wondered: why did it matter so much? Why did *he* matter so much?

And then there was that one night. The night everything shifted.

You’d had a shit day. Classes had dragged on longer than they should have, and you were exhausted by the time you stepped out of the library that evening. It was late, the sky painted in shades of pink and orange as the sun dipped below the horizon. You pulled out a cigarette, needing the nicotine to take the edge off, but your lighter had died.

Frustrated, you stared at the unlit cigarette, your mind too tired to even care. That’s when you noticed him. Jake, leaning against the railing at the edge of the bluff, watching you with that same amused look he always had. You hadn’t even known he smoked. Without a word, he reached into his pocket, tossed you his lighter, and just like that, you shared a moment.

You lit your cigarette, the flame flickering between you, and after a moment, you handed it to him. Jake took it without a word, his fingers brushing against yours as he took a slow drag, the smoke curling between his lips before he handed it back. The silence between you wasn’t uncomfortable—it was charged, like there was something waiting to be said, but neither of you would be the first to say it.

When the cigarette was done, he tossed the butt to the ground, gave you a small glance, and walked away, leaving you standing there in the fading light, the weight of that shared moment hanging heavy in the air.

That was the last time you’d seen him outside the library, but the memory stayed with you, much like the way his eyes seemed to follow you every time you walked through those library doors.

It wasn’t until late one night, well after the library had emptied out, that things finally came to a head. The dim lights cast long shadows across the rows of bookshelves, the stillness of the room heavy with anticipation. You hadn’t expected to see him there. But as soon as you stepped inside, Jake was already leaning against one of the shelves, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

You felt the heat rise in your chest. For a second, you hesitated, your pulse quickening as you stood frozen by the door. Was this it? Was this the moment you had been waiting for, the moment where the silence finally broke? You didn’t know if you were ready, but you couldn’t deny the pull between you. Something in the air was too thick to ignore.

Jake’s expression was unreadable, but the hunger in his eyes was unmistakable. And yet, for the briefest second, he paused. Maybe it was hesitation, maybe it was curiosity, but there was something in his gaze that told you he was waiting—waiting for you to make the next move.

You stepped forward, your body moving on instinct, drawn to the tension between you like a moth to a flame. The rest of the world fell away. The only thing you could focus on was the heat in his gaze, the way your pulse quickened as you closed the distance between you. His expression was unreadable, but the hunger in his eyes was unmistakable.

You followed him, the pull between you undeniable, each step feeling heavier with the weight of everything unsaid. The small study room at the back of the library offered no escape from the tension, the door clicking shut behind you like a final, irreversible decision.

Thank you for reading Chapter 1

If you liked the story and want a part 2, Please Request!

[bengiyo]

Love in the Big City Eps 7-8: Always Forward

Writing about the end of Love in the Big City is hard for me because it’s hard to seem to happy about a show going so dour for this long, but I mostly feel relieved that the show didn’t completely pull back on Yeong’s bleak existence after Gyu-ho. Overall, I really loved this adaptation, and especially enjoyed Sang Young Park’s opportunity to revisit this story after a few years away from it.

Starting with the way Gyu-ho haunted this section, I absolutely loved how they were able to flash back to the previous part and allow us to see how much closer Yeong got to Gyu-ho. I thought the looks at their trip to Thailand outside of the Yeong depressive haze of Part 3 played out really well here now that he’s mourning the relationship. It’s always so sad to me with Yeong how he will choose to isolate rather than subject his bullshit on others.

I find myself thinking a lot about the pills they got for Gyu-ho, how they were able to have one night of lovemaking without Kylie hanging over them, how the side effects of those drugs were pretty rough at the time, and how Yeong probably hated the idea of Gyu-ho taking pills forever because of him. It’s ironic that the idea that they could build a relationship around Kylie scared him more than anything because he knew it would be less than what he envisioned Gyu-ho could have for himself.

I wrote last week about how the apartment was too small, and I’m so glad that we got to see Yeong move out of that apartment in the finale. It felt so appropriate that he moved to a new place that literally looked like a blank slate for him to start over. I’m glad he took so little of the old apartment with him. He kept his mother’s nicest liquor cabinet and her trophies, a few personal items, and otherwise gave himself a new start. Like many of us, he had a big love in his 20s and it didn’t work out. He’s had some success as an author, and now can try to move forward. I like that the only things he takes with him to the new apartment beyond a few personal items are his friends. That feels like the right place to end a story like this.

Speaking of the T-aras, I really loved including them in this show. I hope that for SYP, there really was a group of friends like this for him during his 20s when he was experiencing the events that inspired some of this story. It feels like a not-so-quiet love letter to those friends that he made sure we saw how they grew and supported Yeong over the course of the story.

I loved that we saw Yeong grow closer to Eun Su in this section over the broken engagement. Gay relationships can be hard because we don’t have the structures of heteronormativity to help keep us together, like child rearing. So much of it comes down to whether we want to be with this person in and of itself, and for many of us marriage just isn’t the right solution to affirm that. I like that Eun Su realized this about himself before they committed to far, and it was Yeong who he knew would understand him on this.

I am so glad they went with different directors for each section. I think Hur Jin-ho might be my favorite with the way he used a lot of still shots to capture the stifling nature of Yeong’s time in the hospital and his broken relationship with Yeong Su. I loved the way Kim Se-in shot the follow up look at the trip to Thailand in Part 4, after the beautiful work Hong Ji-young gave us in the small details of the relationship with Gyu-ho that Hong Ji-young captured in Part 3. I would also like to applaud Song Tae-gyum for getting so much energy out of the cast and the shots in Part 1, because the long toll of events on Yeong does not land without coming down from the energy of Part 1. Absolutely phenomenal work from all four directors and the crews.

As a single story instead of four connected vignettes, I respect the choices the adaptation made to soften some of the heaviest parts of this story, and in particular give us a more hopeful look at Yeong’s future. I love that I feel like I can love the book and drama together and separately. It’s rare that I find a drama adaptation does a good job or elevates the original work, and I’m really glad that I can say that about this show. Everyone put they whole foot in this drama, and it shows.

Finally, I would like to give a huge thanks to Nam Yoon Su, Jim Ho Eun, Lee So Kyung, Kown Hyuk, Na Hyun Woo, Lee Hyun So, Byun Jun Seo, Jung Chan Yeong, and Oh Hyun Kyung, and the rest of the cast for all their work on this show. This feels like a once-in-a-generation show, not unlike Moonlight (2016), where we may never see the direct impacts of it. Someday, I hope we see the spiritual successor to this show, and can point back at it and thank it for getting us to that future. It’s rare that we get this much experienced talent in dramas playing queer life this frankly, and I will carry Go Young with me for the rest of my life, and will reflect on him and myself in his relationships with his mom, the T-aras, Gyu-ho, Yeong Su, Mi Ae, Nam Gyu, and even Habibi. What I am thankful for with the drama is that we leave Yeong looking forward and not back.

It has been an honor reacting to this show with all of you in the Love in the Big City Book Club. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts, gifs, and creations with us for this past month. I am so thankful that we got to do this experience together twice. I look forward to our next big outing.

[ar3s-r4t-qu33n]

Johnny's Bluffing

CW for discussion of potential sexual assault, toxic/unhealthy relationships, stalking, obsession, and, of course, murder and cannibalism. Nothing like, too crazy I think? But especially this one section on sexual assault, it's brief but separated out so it's quite easy to skip if that makes folks uncomfortable.

Hi I am currently in a really bad insomnia cycle and as such haven't slept so I'm sure I'm gonna have missed something that immediately prove me wrong, but here we go:

I don't think that certain members of the Family know that Maria is alive, and especially Nancy. This theory sort of delves into a lot of different stuff, I wrote and rewrote this a fair bit and idk, this is what I ended up with. It's a lot of my personal interpretation of both the written text and the way lines are delivered, as well as my own analyses on characters and how I personally think the timeline of events went (Danny and Virginia dying before the gang even show up in Newt, Maria being the 'Definitive Final Girl' and surviving to the very end, but never getting to escape the Slaughters/Johnny. That isn't to say that she dies, but Sally is the first and only person to escape until Stretch if she is canon to this timeline now that Choptop is on his way) so idk, I hope you like what I've been thinking about I guess?

Nancy and Drayton both have several voice lines that refer to Maria being in the past tense. So does Johnny, but my theory here is that he is playing into this line of thought so they don’t realise that he is still keeping her.

I will source my way of hearing all of the voice lines at the end.

Starting with Nancy, she has several;

‘It didn’t have to be this way, you know? You just had to come looking for that floosy of yours, didn’t you?’

‘Your little friend had it coming. Looking at my Johnny that way- he’s a sweet boy!’

‘You ever hear the saying murder starts in the heart? … I think my Johnny liked that girl…’

The first two are obviously extremely defensive over Johnny and are meant to taunt the other Victims over Maria’s ‘death’. The last one, however, feels almost like a realisation. This line has confused me for a long time, because it sounds like two different once spliced together, but they are, in fact, connected. This is the only time that Nancy ever speaks about Maria in any other way than pure disgust and defensiveness. Another interesting thing about Nancy is that she does not hate her husbands. She murdered all three of them, none of them were able to give her a baby of her own, and yet she defends them from Sissy, she keeps them all in her basement man cave, and even when talking to Hands, she’s apologetic about Harold to him. She still holds a fondness for them, it seems, and I feel like maybe this is what makes her finally realise that Johnny actually, truly loves Maria. For Nancy, she loves people to death, and that type of love extends to Johnny, too. Sure, he’s still alive, and could easily kill her now, but she permanently scarred his face when he tried to leave her. I don’t believe that Nancy isn’t above murdering Johnny to keep him with her, and I think this admittance leads to her realising that Johnny actually did love Maria. Of course, she can’t say ‘love’, that’s a bit too far, but at the very least, she will acknowledge that he likes her, and these days, Johnny doesn’t seem to like anyone, not even her. It’s also interesting to note that she says this after losing sight of a victim she was chasing. She says herself that she hasn’t hunted like this in a while, it seems as if physically chasing people down to kill them is making her reminisce on her feelings about murder and love in a way.

But all of that to say, she believes Maria is dead. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, she’s dead now, and maybe she plans to talk to Johnny about it later, maybe not apologise, but try and make it easier on him now that she’s realised just how much she meant to him.

Then we’ve got Cookie.

‘Look, I’m sorry about your friend… but… I’m afraid you done landed square dab in the shithouse!’

‘We didn’t have much choice! Couldn’t let Johnny spring no lovechild around here. It ain’t personal! Now get back here!’

There is obviously a lot less here, the former being Cook or Drayton’s more humble, car salesman type approach to everything, apologising sincerely that their friend had to die… but now so do they, so how sorry can he be, really?

The second is far more interesting. I’m still sort of working out the kinks with what I think on all this, but it implies not only that the whole family knew about Johnny’s feelings for Maria, but that there was a worry about something more than just his feelings. A genuine attachment, the possibility for a child.

Now, one thing I wanna throw in real quick is that a lot of people think Johnny assaulted Maria once he kidnapped her. And I personally don’t think that that is true. And it’s more than just ‘noooo not my pookie he would never!’, I feel as though Johnny’s feelings for Maria are beyond sexual, or beyond purely sexual. I’m not gonna get super into it because I wanna make a whole post about just their relationship, but in short, Johnny knows he’s hot shit. He knows women love him and men do too, and he uses that all the time to lure people to their deaths. Maybe he fucks them first, then kills them, who knows. But this is a man who is used to being sexualised and uses it to his advantage, like a reverse femme fatale, almost. A lot of his lines are sexually charged and he speaks seductively low at times, even flirting on the odd occasion. However, Maria is in love with Danny and is a sweet girl in the seventies. There is no way she’s heading off to knock boots with the pretty boy at the bar no matter how charming, persistent, helpful… always somehow exactly where she needs him to be… is. She’s kind, she’s sweet, she brings out the best in people, we know this about her. And when there’s no sex, when it’s not about fucking them and killing them… Johnny has no choice but to fall completely head over heels for her. It’s no surprise that the day she’s heading out of town, maybe to go back to see her boyfriend, that is when her car breaks down. Johnny’s oil stained gloves, the fact that he’s designed to look like he helps at a gas station, his friendship with Uncle Hands, the fact he lives in a junk yard? This man knows mechanics. He knows cars. And he is definitely not above tampering with an already busted old car to ensure it stops before she can get away from him. It’s just his luck that she happens to break down by his family’s land. All this to say, I don’t think Johnny assaults Maria once he has her. Not only because that would be a lot, like, in general, for this game to go from goofy cannibals to sexual assault by one of the game’s most beloved characters to one of the game’s most beloved characters, but because I don’t think Johnny is the type. He’s pretty and charming enough that people want him, he doesn’t have to take it, he earns it. And he wants Maria to give it to him, for him to earn it because she wants him. He likely spends his time down there with her trying to get her to fall for him and forget about Danny. He wants her to want him. Or at least, this is my personal interpretation.

Maybe she does begin to fall or maybe Drayton’s complete lack of any and all sexual knowledge just makes him think they’re already going to pound town, but he was worried about a baby. That’s something I wanna explore in the future, why he’s so worried about Johnny and Maria having a baby, but moving on; again, Drayton is seemingly fully convinced that Maria is dead.

For Johnny I wanna take his lines one at a time, but it is important to note that I think some of these lines are referring to someone else and not Maria, but also some of these are in present tense, he either slips up or sometimes on purpose mentions things that could hint to her being alive to the Victims.

‘You wanna know how your friend died!? … I can show you!’

‘Your little friend put up a better fight than this… come on! Make it interesting, will you!?”

Pure just bluffing to get them angry and scared. It could also be referring to Danny but more on that a different time.

‘That’s what I get for taking it easy on them. Time for them to join that little friend of theirs…’

‘You’re gonna look real nice next to that friend of yours…’

Again, if my belief that Danny not only went to Nancy’s a lot earlier than the others is true and that he has been dead for a good few days before the gang shows up, then this is absolutely about him, not Maria.

‘You kinda remind me of your little friend’

To Ana about Maria, obviously, and comes across as quite flirtatious. He’s figured out that not only does Maria have a sister (if she never told him), but that Ana has no intentions of leaving there without her. I interpret this as Johnny taunting her, making her his new priority to get rid of. I said he loved Maria, I never said he loved her in a healthy way, alight? This is The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, not the Notebook (never seen that movie)

‘You should have never came here looking for that girl!’

I don’t need to explain. Pure possessive Johnny in his raw form.

And finally, the infamous;

‘You know… I was actually kinda fond of that girl, I-I didn’t really wanna hurt her… but… family first, you know?’

Johnny is an agitator. Almost all of his lines are trying to fuck with the victims, playing with his food. Egging them on to hit him, teasing them about being too slow, the way he calls after them as he hunts them down, he wants to see them upset and charged, he wants a good fight, he wants to feel something. The main part of this line is just that, I think; he wants them to believe that even though he cared about Maria, he fucking killed her. He wants them to be angry, to fight him, to hurt him. The end is guilty. Incredibly guilty sounding, and I don’t think that’s out of a guilt for killing her, since… well, Maria is alive and kicking. But more a guilt about his family in general. ‘Family first, you know?’ he’s almost saying it so himself, as if that’s what he should think, what he should be doing. But he is actively betraying them and knows that once everything blows over, he’s going to keep on betraying them for every day he keeps Maria alive. And he also knows that even if he feels all of this guilt, he will do it anyway because he loves her, and he can’t let his family have her. She is the only person who is truly his, who represents what life could have given him. I have another analysis I made on TikTok that I’ll repost here soon, but it essentially goes like this; Johnny and Danny really aren’t too different. Scrappy orphans who are good with mechanics. Except Danny got to go to college, travel freely, meet the girl of his dreams, and Johnny is forced to be someone he doesn’t want to be. He isn’t not a killer, but he also could have not been a killer. Maria is everything he has not been allowed to have; naivety, kindness, softness. And now that he has her, and once everyone else is out of the way, he has no intentions of letting that go.

So he is pretending that she is dead. And for now, it is working. I have a feeling in the canon story of the game, the victims stumble upon her somewhere once they’ve already caused enough trouble for the family, and then all bets are off. Once they find out she’s still alive, it’s a new game for Johnny, a choice; does he kill her, make his mother proud and live the only life he knows because even if he leaves, he knows he can’t be any better? Or does he take her away and try, try to be a different man in the softness of her love?

Rush Week could be the result of either of those. Either he kills her, and becomes an even worse, even colder killer, now able to handle a situation like in the game completely on his own, or he takes her away to start a new life and just couldn’t stop the urges; the Bad Man needs to feed. He stays late after work or pretends he has a night shift and gets his fill on blood and chaos before stumbling home, washing it all off, and returning to Maria’s (definitely traumatised at this point from seeing her friends and sister murdered (don’t worry about Danny I’ve got thoughts on him shhh) in front of her and ‘rescued’ by Johnny) arms.

That was a lot... Please tell me what y'all think on this, again, a lot of my personal interpretation on a lot of things, but isn't that what art is for?

Sources for the voice lines:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre Game - Johnny All Voice Lines (youtube.com)

Texas Chain Saw Massacre Game - Black Nancy All Voice Lines - YouTube

Texas Chain Saw Massacre Game - Johnny All Voice Lines (youtube.com)

Promised I'd tag @bloodfeeder when I finished this so here ya go!! :)

[yoyoyaps]

i've been picturing this for quite some time - bucky and gale casually having a convo over work/random stuff, bucky ignoring curt who's desperately humping his thigh and whining like a cat in heat? they've been arguing over stuff (mostly it's curt's being a brat as always) and ignoring each other (with gale stuck in the middle of it) for almost a week? but of course curt couldn't bear any longer without bucky's touch, feeling so empty not having bucky's cock in him so he jumped on bucky every chance he got pitifully lol. maybe bucky winning the idgaf war for the first few tries 😈 and eventually curt won and bucky give it to him HARD

I literally took this and rrraaaaaaannnnn with it.

I’m sorry (not).

Once again, I went insane.

If you’re not locked in for this shit, do not read: Desperation, Bucky has some unsavory coping mechanisms when it comes to his anger, lowkey watersports that lasts two seconds (oop), Eiffel Tower ish, more butt plug action

I HAVE to start making these a little shorter lmaoooo

I hardly proof read this. Pls love me.

💘

It was torture.

Curt had royally fucked up, and he knew it but had been doing everything under the sun besides apologizing to get Bucky back in his good graces while Gale sat quietly in the middle and watched it all unfold.

A bad driver, yes, but worse after a joint and a bong rip.

Bucky let him borrow the Range Rover to run errands across town while he and Gale stayed back to work on their docket and finalize their defense — it was crunch time for them and things had become beyond stressful, John’s usual laid back demeanor becoming far more ridged and on edge.

“At least it ain’t totaled!” Curt threw his arms up once Bucky had scooped him from the auto shop in his Jeep, his nostrils flared as he drove and bit his tongue. He had too much to think about, too much on his mind. Curt and his antics had to take a backseat until he and Gale could tie up their loose ends.

Curtis couldn’t give in though, feeling like a puppy with its tail between its legs. There was no scolding, but the silence was almost worse. “C’mon..” he scurried after Bucky who neglected to open Curt’s door for him, or kiss him like he usually did when they pulled into the driveway.

“It’s hardly a dent!”

The entire fender had fallen off.

With no choice but to let it rest, Curt moped around. He listened to music in his usual spot, he draped himself over a flamingo float in the pool, naked as the day he was born with a pink sunburn on his ass. He sunbathed bare, he sat by the window in only his underwear, he sucked on popsicles that stained his lips red.

He’d caught Gale’s glance a couple times, but not Bucky’s.

Don’t you dare look at him, Gale.

He’s just — he’s so —

He’s a fuckin’ brat is what he is. He’s cost me ten grand because he’s a fucking stoner who can’t drive. We have work to do.

At night, Curt would fall asleep before Bucky would ever get into bed. Some nights he’d even fallen asleep on the couch in his study once Gale managed to wake himself up enough to drive home, unable to ignore the texts Curt had eventually sent to him after three days of it.

Please tell him to talk to me.

Does he hate me?

Should I leave?

Yes, Bucky was pissed off but it was something he simply needed to get out of his system, and that couldn’t happen when all they’d been doing was discussing risk assessments and trial evidence.

He’ll come around, Curt.

Just wait until Friday. By then we’ll be all wrapped up with everything.

He’s just stressed. I promise.

Curt had been practically clawing at the walls come the weeks end, plopping himself over Bucky’s knee who had given him the slight satisfaction of pressing his hand against Curt’s belly to steady him there. “Almost done?” He chirped, but got no response.

“Did you color code the sections, Gale? Are they all in order?” Bucky’s gaze had stuck on the man across the desk from him, a pen in his mouth as he nodded.

“Yes — you’re worrying will only make —“

“And what about the evidence slides?”

Their back and forth droned on and Curt could feel himself losing grip more and more. Bucky had hardly looked at him for a week, and Gale just the same. He felt like he was right back at the beginning again, wondering when the next text would come by and he’d get that familiar hit of dopamine.

Wyd?

You up?

Wanna come over?

Can I come get you?

“I think we’ve got it all figured out, B.” Curt’s tone was gentle, apprehensive. Bucky could curse him out if he wanted — he wouldn’t be wrong for it.

He ground his ass into Bucky’s knee, huffing softly at the sensation. Without John to pay him attention with his tongue, some fingers or with his and Gale’s cock, he was left to his own devices.

It was hardly as fun.

Bucky wasn’t budging though, holding Curt still by his belly but not moving his hand, not one single bit of attention truly paid to Curt as he fussed on and on about the organization of their defense binders.

“Bucky,” Curt whimpered, leaning his back against his chest as his hands, much smaller than Bucky’s, grasped onto the one that rested over his stomach. “It’s Friday — it’s late. C’mon.”

Gale blinked at the two, his fingers idly scrambling to show each section of the binder Bucky anxiously asked to see without missing a beat or becoming too distracted by a panting and so desperate looking Curtis who spread himself out over Bucky’s lap, a pout visible.

It looked like he could get himself off that way, writhing and whining against Bucky’s body like the friction would be enough to set him over the edge.

“It’s all right here, Bucky. We have this down, buddy.” Gales eyes went soft, his tone assuring. “You’re the best lawyer I’ve ever seen work cases like this.” He was rounding third and headed for home — they were painfully close to the weekend, so far away from Monday morning court rooms.

C’mon, Galey.

“Being diligent never hurt.” Bucky went monotone, turning the binder again to flip through it himself. “It’s horseshoes and hand grenades — close isn’t good enough, Gale.”

One of Gale’s habits was diagnosing the people in his life, whether they knew it or not.

Bucky over time had acquired a wide range of diagnosis, though Gale couldn’t really nail down a few of them unless he put him through some testing, which he was unsure he was legally allowed to ask of him.

And Curt.

Christ.

He was a whole other story.

So imagine the line he towed, the way he held his tongue. Curtis had been open minded to his grounding techniques which he’d been getting better at implementing — in fact, Gale was astonished Curt had gone an entire week without lashing out at anyone.

He would count to ten instead. He’d remind himself Bucky still loved him, because the opposite was a silly thought, and he’d occupy his time with things that he enjoyed, rather than ways to get Bucky back under his wing.

He’d tried so hard.

He buried his face in the pillow on Bucky’s side of the bed and willed himself to make do with what he was given, but he failed time and time again. He felt so desperate, so hopeless. He’d fall asleep with the pillow that was losing his scent tucked against his chest.

Too much time had passed now, though.

It was becoming cruel torture.

Hips rocking against Bucky’s knee, he had totally lost all sense of self — his dignity taking a ding, no less. It hardly mattered anymore. No embarrassment could be felt on his part in front of two men who have picked him apart and fucked every piece.

“Curtis,” Bucky murmured, his brows furrowed at the little body that rut against him like a tiny dog who’d never been fixed, claiming its territory the only way it knew how. “You’re being fucking ridiculous.”

Curt gripped onto the side of Bucky’s desk, panting as he ground his ass stuffed with the only thing that’s kept him sane the past week — his first plug, the one Bucky had bought him under the pretense that Curt would wear it to class.

Of course wearing it to class had turned into wearing it to dinner, to the movies, in the passenger seat of Bucky’s now bruised up Range Rover.

“No, you are.” Curtis huffed, his eyes half lidded.

The siren.

Gale had made direct eye contact and had practically turned to stone, eyes wider than he’d like them to be as he watched intently with his hands frozen over the desk, picking idly at Bucky’s filled-to-the-brim calendar beneath his forearms. “Bucky..” his voice was strained, but his eyes had shown some sort of remorse.

Curt’s eyes had looked puffy lately, his shoulders sulked when he passed the study and neglected his spot near the window for a spot in the garden alone, instead.

“Gale.” Bucky mumbled, sights narrowed in his direction that time — he didn’t seem to be letting up, headstrong in whatever philosophy he felt he was upholding.

Gale had recently told Bucky he needed to be a little more firm in his expressions. Always a maybe, hardly ever a yes or no.

It seems he’d taken that to heart.

“Look at him.” Gales voice was still deep and quiet, trailing off near the tail end whilst Curt squirmed atop Bucky with red cheeks and messy hair as he moaned into his hands. “It’s been a whole week.”

“Gale, he wrecked my car.” Bucky pressed his hand firmly into Curt’s chest to still him but it was hardly any use.

“I get it — “ Gale mumbled back, “it’s pocket change, Johnny. Look how much he’s missed you.” He rose to his feet and bent over the desk, unable to leave poor Curt to writhe alone that way while his hands cupped the pink cheeks that’d become damp with desperate tears. “Poor baby.”

Curt’s black lashes fluttered in a haze, his lips parted where little puffs of determined breaths escaped while he rest his arms over the desk to assist his efforts in violating Bucky’s knee.

“I’m sorry, Curtie.” Gale continued softly, more kisses peppering Curt’s cheeks as the sound of his desperate efforts filled the study and seeped through the open windows into the garden.

Completely undone. So close, but so far. “Need it,” Curt whimpered, not daring to reach for Bucky’s cock because being shoved away would send him into a spiral. “Please — I — I’ll be so good,” hardly intelligible, barely a squeak once he’d gotten the words out.

“Ohh,” Gale cooed, his features softening again at the sight. He kissed away Curt’s tears again, swiping the rest away with his thumbs. “You’re asking nice, hm? Maybe just a little nicer,” he stifled his own moan at the sight, Curt crumbling in his hands. “You know how he likes his good boy, don’t you? Show him how good you can be, baby.”

Curt hiccuped as he inhaled, filling his lungs with the breath he’d been holding. “I fuckin’ have been!” His tone morphed into that of utter frustration through a clenched jaw that had began to ache, just like the rest of him.

It was an accident, the pressure built up inside of him pushing itself out — before he had truly noticed what he’d done, it was too late.

Bucky’s knee grew warmer and at first he’d hardly paid it any attention until it hadn’t gone away. “You didn’t-“ he grabbed Curt’s hips forcefully to move him aside and eyed the damp little spot left over his knee, “Curtis — you did fucking not just—“

“I’m so — I’m sorry. I’msorryI’msorry,”

Oh, the tears had tripled.

Gale still held his face and shushed him, a thought in the back of his mind had pondered the idea that Bucky deserved it, in some way.

Until Curt was shoved over the desk, the binder Bucky’d been fussing for hours over thudding onto the floor in a heap, now long forgotten and replaced by a pair of dickies that needed washing now, a far too sympathetic Gale and a Curtis whose wet cheek muddied the ink written in the tiny boxes of Bucky’s work calendar.

“Bucky, it was an accident,” Gale whispered, watching John yank Curt’s damp jeans off of him and toe them away carefully, an open palm slapped against perky, sunburnt cheeks that had been spending too much time outside with too little sunscreen. “He didn’t mean to, did you, baby?”

“No, I didn’t - I didn’t mean to,” Curt was reeling at the feeling of cool air tickling over his prickly skin. “I promise — I’m so-so-“ he’d been cut off by another open handed clap against his skin, a moan chasing after the whine forced out of him.

His body wiggled over the desk he stayed draped over, his wrists held behind his back with Bucky’s left hand, the other pressing a middle and index finger against the base of Curt’s plug to push it a little deeper into him.

His thighs trembled, damp and spreading apart further for Bucky whose hands were rough and unforgiving.

For the first time in a long time, he felt shame.

Desperation at its finest — so long were any ideals he previously philosophized. He was suddenly becoming nothing without them, the reaper of what he sowed.

And, so be it.

Bucky hardly gave him any spit, shoving his hips forward into Curt who gasped over the desktop, his eyes half lidded and staring at Gale who crouched before him, their lips locking for sporadic durations of sloppy and uncoordinated exchanges.

Cherry. Curt always tasted like cherry. “Oh,” Gale hummed, voice deep and living somewhere in his chest. “Look at you — just made for taking it. Our good boy.”

Curt was so pliant in Gale’s hands, jaw clenched in his palm as he held him in place; so soft and flushed a gentle pink, black lashes fluttering over damp, puffy cheeks.

Bucky was a mess of floppy brown curls falling into his eyes once his hips had developed a ruthless rhythm, Curt’s body beneath him malleable and so willing to please, each breath he took a stuttered choke on his blathering. “Right—right— there” he hiccuped through strangled breathes, “Fucking — fuck me— please”

Beneath him, Bucky’s handwriting muddied more into the pages of his calendar with the evidence of his so called punishment. “You like that, don’t you?” His hips had slowed so abruptly, neither Curt nor Gale could register it. “You’re far from deserving.”

Curt twisted himself to lie on his back instead, sprawled over the desk with his head hanging over the side, his legs spread and his mouth opening pliantly as he looked to Gale again who deserved a little loving, too.

“Oh, good boy.” Bucky cooed, palms flattening against the inside of Curt’s thighs to spread them wider as he watched Gale waste no time undressing himself, his leaking cock taken obediently into Curt’s warm, wet throat. “Make me take it back immediately, huh? No surprise.”

“You’re so fucking — god,” Gale couldn’t see his face anymore, just the mouth that his hips sputtered into but he knew Curt still looked like an angel, even despite the angle he was at. “Don’t care the brat you can be. You’re so good at makin’ up for it.”

Curt’s throat vibrated with a happy little hum, body wracked with shivers and tingles once Bucky began to fuck into him, hooking a hand around Gales neck to pull him closer and kiss him — hot, wet, hurried. As if he just needed anything to occupy his mouth. “Come with me, Gale.” He whispered against Gales lips who bit back a moan. “Make him swallow it.”

Each of their rendezvous had sent him farther and farther into his descent.

What are we?

What is this?

Do I love two men?

Do they love me?

Gale finished first, choking Curt on his cock and then the ribbons and ribbons of white hot pleasure that trickled hot and wet down his throat that he swallowed without hardly wasting a drop despite his belly that tensed as he gagged — this angle was tough, but Gale liked watching Curt struggle a little.

Once Gale backed away, the mouth he’d fucked was kissed by Bucky who licked into it, tasting Gale, swapping spit, biting tongues and lips and chins like animals in a deadly heat.

Curt’s belly grew warmer with a familiar sensation, little body spent atop the desk where his thighs shook and tensed together, his orgasm falling from the sky and straight onto him like some sort of atomic bomb.

His body lay spent and sprawled over Bucky’s table, their once organized files turned into heaps of now disordered mess and chaos. “Happy now, aren’t you?” Bucky tapped an open hand over Curt’s thigh, watching him grin and nod his head, unable to use his voice.

His throat was raw, his body still shuddered with the aftermath of his orgasm, “Told you he’d come back around.” Gale bent down to kiss Curt’s damp forehead, pushing his hair away from his eyes.

(Do you like the extra spaces between paragraphs? Is it easier to read?????? Anyway… lmk…..)

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (11/26/2024) Episode: Matters of Taste

“Well, it looks like someone went all out with their retail reinvention!” Luigi exclaimed later that evening as Skye showed off his new wardrobe.

 “Do you think it looks OK?” Skye asked worriedly “Its not too much?”

“If you feel good about it that’s the main thing.” Noemi reassured him “If you start to feel like it’s too much you can always tone it down.”

“I think I really like it, especially how it matches Elyse” Skye smiled at the thought of her, then frowned. “Though I don’t see why boys can’t paint their nails – there was the prettiest blue polish at the nail salon that I thought would look great with this.”

“Boys can definitely paint their nails if they want to. What made you think you couldn’t?” Luigi asked

“Elyse said boys don’t paint their nails,” he told them “and none of my other friends are painting their nails.”

“Well, its not as common, but there’s nothing wrong with it” Noemi replied. “Next time you can absolutely get your nails done if you want to.”

“And what’s up with perfume and cologne?” he continued, clearly frustrated “Two different names for the same stuff, but “my” section of the store was smaller and missing my favorite scent. It seems like they should sell sims whatever they want from both sections.”

His father laughed. “Good news! Stores want your simoleons and are usually happy to sell everything on the shelf to anyone who will pay. It’s a poor salesperson who lets their own preferences get in the way of business. There’s a famous phrase - The customer is always right in matters of taste!”

Newly resolved to pay more attention to his own sense of style, Skye wished his parents good night and headed off to get ready for bed.

“That was… interesting” Luigi commented once their son was safely out of earshot “What do you think happened out there today!?”

“It sounded to me like Skye and Elyse disagreed on what was “appropriate” for boys and girls to wear” Noemi replied, frowning “I’m not thrilled that she apparently told him he couldn’t paint his nails – that’s ridiculous! Not to mention more than a little controlling.”

"Well, she’s young, I’m sure its just a lack of experience” Luigi soothed “As far as I know none of the men in her life wear nail polish. I was surprised at how strongly Skye seemed to feel about the cologne vs. perfume issue. The clothes he picked out were also fairly androgynous.”

“It’s just strange” Noemi said. “We know Elyse’s grandpar Wren was non-binary, just like your Great Grandy Jasper. It’s odd that she of all sims would be drawing such hard lines around what others are allowed to like based only on their gender.”

Luigi nodded “You know, even dad identified as gender fluid, though he liked to joke that beyond giving birth to me he was too lazy to do anything about it, and these days that hardly counts! You think Skye could be leaning that direction?”

“Honey, an interest in painting his nails or a taste for perfume doesn’t mean he doesn’t identify as male. I mean, we basically just got through telling HIM that” Noemi reminded her spouse. “Anyway, time will tell, and we’ll love him just the same regardless.”

“Of course we will!” Luigi quickly agreed “Although speaking of shopping in the lady’s section, I seem to recall picking up a rather fascinating silk nightgown earlier today. If you’re willing to show me what it looks like “in action” I’m pretty sure it will be exactly to my tastes.”

“Only if you wear those new boxers I bought you to go with it” Noemi smiled.

 “It’s a deal!” he replied, kissing her eagerly before leading her off towards the bedroom.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[brynnmclean]

hi Brynn!! if you feel like it, no pressure :) 💬 ❤️

Stitch!!! Hello there!!! :D Thank you, friend!

For 💬 I'll pull from the Forge chapter in fell in love with the fire:

“Did Curumo tell you where I was?” Mairon asks finally, and watches Aulë’s mouth twist beneath his beard into half of a smile. “Yes, but I spoke with Ulmo first. It made sense for you to have gone to the Sea and to stay in Alqualondë.” He must catch Mairon’s bewilderment even at a half-glance because he nods again, solemnly. “I know you go to the shore when you are upset. You have since Almaren.” Almaren. Almaren. “Oh, you noticed?” Mairon says, fury flaring so sudden it leaves him reeling. “And what is it that upset me this time, I wonder? Could it have been the Great Enemy that walked in through the door?” The air around Aulë ripples with heat, but he is otherwise unmoved. “Melkor served his sentence. He is welcome in Valmar and is kept under the watchful eye of all of us.” Mairon grips the edge of the table at his back and bares his teeth. “Why was he allowed in here? He has no craft, he can make nothing. He only—” Pinned Mairon to a wall, pressed a heavy hand on his chest, and crooned in his ear a mouthful of lies that still echo in the sweet, sickening dark: I see you, I know what you crave, I will make you a king at my side, you will build such wonderful things for me, my bright thing— “He brings ruin. He should not be here.” Aulë’s fingers run over a bend in the tilkal, calluses rasping along the surface. “We must obey the judgment of Manwë,” he says. “We who defend authority against rebellion must not ourselves rebel. And I have also erred in the past and gone against the will of the One. Repentance and redemption is possible.”

There is SO MUCH that Aulë and Mairon don't talk about, and little bits and pieces are finally coming out in this chapter, but there are still underlying things that aren't voiced. I had Aulë work with tilkal very intentionally-- it's the metal that the chain that bound Melkor was made of. I like the thought that even though Aulë has to obey Manwë's judgment and in some part agrees with it-- at least the possibility of Melkor's repentance being true-- there is a part of him that is disquieted enough that he is working with a metal that he knows has bound Melkor before. Of course Mairon is too distressed to recognize that.

For the ❤️, keeping to the subject of Mairon and Aulë just a little, I went back to an end to bitter frosts and found this section in chapter 9 and even though it's long, I couldn't bear to cut any of it out!

Durin grunts. “Never trust an Elf to build something that lasts,” he tells Halbrand. “Dwarves build to endure. Elves are far too fond of rebuilding to have learnt to make things that last.” An unfair retelling of the lost kingdoms of Beleriand. “Elves are more used to their cities falling to ruin,” Halbrand says diplomatically. The king eyes him narrowly, but only says, “Dwarven kingdoms do not fall to ruin.” “All things come to ruin when they are abandoned,” Halbrand says, thinking of Nogrod and Belegost, the Dwarven realms of the First Age. They survived the drowning of Beleriand, but their peoples left them anyway, journeying east to Khazad-dûm and beyond.  “There’s a difference between outgrowing something and abandoning it,” Durin says peevishly. “You’re old enough to have learnt that by now.” Halbrand considers this. “There’s a semantic difference, perhaps. I’m not sure there’s a difference in effect, though. Motive doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been abandoned.” Durin looks at him sharply, his eyes seeing far more than Halbrand would like them to do. “Perhaps not,” he says slowly. “But understanding motives can help you recover from abandonment. Particularly if it wasn’t about you at all.” “That’s worse,” Halbrand says before he can think better of it. “That just means you didn’t matter.” Durin is quiet for a long moment. “Wounds to the spirit cut deep,” he says at last, “and they heal but slowly. I cannot speak to your past, Sindri. But Khazad-dûm will not abandon you—not unless you abandon us first.” As comforts go, it’s hollow. Why must everyone set conditions on their commitment? Shouldn’t commitment be unconditional? His commitment to the Khazâd, to Galadriel, is unconditional. To Galadriel especially—she could do nothing that would turn him from her. She could turn from him—she could betray him to the host of the Valar—she could kill this fana—he would still love her, still be loyal to her, still seek to advance her ends even from the other side of the world. She wants a better world; he would forge one for her, even if she would not admit him to it.  He might resort to armies and sieges and battering rams to stand at her side again—but he would not turn from her, as she has made clear she will turn from him if he breaks their accord.  “All relationships are conditional,” the king says, the words too close to Halbrand’s thoughts for comfort. “Everyone has limits—things they cannot tolerate. I’m sure you do, too.” Halbrand shakes his head.  “You left Mahal’s forge,” Durin points out, almost gently. “Was that not an abandonment?” Left is such a bland euphemism for what had happened. He had fled; he had been driven out. But he had been abandoned first.  But what good would it do to say that to the descendent of Durin the Deathless, Aulë’s most beloved student, a Dwarf whose people still revere Aulë as Lord of Making and their creator, whose alliance with him and Galadriel is founded in large part on their shared connection to Aulë? There is no advantage to saying any of this.  He says nothing.  Durin nods, as though this confirms something, and likewise keeps his silence.

I still adore that fic as a whole and how you write Halbrand in general-- calculating and slowly (reluctantly, I might even say!) learning from past mistakes. I can't say I'm the biggest fan of Durin III as a character in Rings of Power but I LOVE how you write the interactions between him and Halbrand in your fic and this scene in particular is fascinating-- the insight that Durin has on Halbrand, even as Halbrand doesn't seem to realize it. And you know I'm ravenous for any mention of the relationship between Halbrand and Aulë!!!!!

[ask me about fic quotes!] 

[for-quill-with-love]

The robin found it's way inside this morning. I'd fed it enough, apparently. I'd already been calling it 'Soot' in my head for some reason.

I set her seeds on the windowsill where she was perched, and she sang her little morning song as she ate.

I was going to make a farm today.

I made myself a hoe and a couple of buckets for water, and as I was checking my comm for messages I found the map. It was new to have a map right in my comm, instead of needing to make one from paper.

And there was this new thing it called a waypoint. I was able to mark my front door with it, and it showed up on the map and in my identifier camera.

Clever. And useful.

I decided to put the farm in the valley below my house, pushing the dirt around to get a flat area to work with and lugging water from the village's farms as it was the closest water I could find.

It was hard work. Familiar, in the way that all of this was familiar to me. I had set up farms like this before; I had the muscle memory for raking my hoe through the dirt to til the soil.

I knew how far apart to plant the melon and pumpkin seeds to give them the best chance to thrive.

But I had a lot of different things to plant, and I wasn't sure how the new ones would grow.

After making sure everything was saturated, I dug through my chests for any and every kind of seed I'd picked up along the way.

There was one that showed up as "tomato" on my comm, that I didn't remember picking up from anywhere. It might have come from the village, I wasn't sure.

It was some sort of vine, though. Maybe it was like the melons and pumpkins? I planted it along the edge just in case.

Corn went next, and then the potatoes and carrots and onions. The onions had come from the ground like a root vegetable, so surely that's how they grew.

And after punching all the grass I had to clear a spot for my farm, I'd found enough seeds to plant a whole section of wheat!

I would probably need more, if I really wanted to have enough for both me and also the animals I'd need to round up later.

I pushed my hair out of my face, wishing once again that I had some way to tie it up and away. Maybe I could do something with the silk I'd been collecting. It seemed too sticky and too fragile to really do much with.

There was a buzz from my comm, and I checked it to see the new message that'd appeared and--

Well, surely I wasn't--

I couldn't find it. I knew all comms worked like that, I had to have a way to get on or off world.

It was gone from this one.

I hadn't noticed, not with the new map and the recipes and the way to identify what I came across. There was no way for me to be able to get off this world. I didn't even have a was to see the address of this one.

Bands of iron were wrapped around my chest and shrinking, tighter than the iron chestplate had sat on my shoulders.

I couldn't stop my eyes from darting, my hand grasping for an axe that wasn't in it's normal spot on my belt. I didn't have a belt on right now. I darted back up the hill, tripping over my feet.

The rest of the day was a blur.

Numb and fuzzy and muffled, like I'd taken on an elder guardian without milk or a fast way through the walls of prismarine.

I couldn't hear anything beyond the thick, sticky silence. I couldn't focus on what was in front of me, the world painted blobs of green and blue and gray.

There was blood in my mouth, like licking a lightning rod after a storm. It fizzed in a way that made my stomach rebel, something that should have been accompanied with the sour-sweet of--

Of something. I'd used my fangs for violence before, not just to tear roast chicken apart to eat.

I was fire on netherrack, blue ice pressing in from all sides and yet the burning refused to leave.

The blue ice won.

I was snuffed out, water dumped on a lava pool and turning me dark and cold and silent.

The world was dark and cold and silent.

I didn't know where I was. And my comm was gone, probably dropped in the grass when I'd--

When I'd done whatever it was that had landed me here.

I curled up in the dark, too tired to think right and too numb to care about the danger that surely should have come from being in a place like this.

This could all be dealt with later. After-- after I'd gotten my thoughts in order

[starheirxero]

At this point, the creators are just trying to see, how far they can take the angst until we all turn to dust-

The fact that Lunar actively doesn't want to feel, because they see themself a danger to everyone is making me become a feral dog-

Earth, oh for God's sake, she just keeps breaking me- The way she talked about Solar😭 He was her best friend, and her support system! He was the person, who always knew what to do, who always spent time with her, and now he's gone… THEY LITERALLY WANTED TO KNIT LITTLE ANIMALS THE DAY HE DIED- I am perishing-

It's very interesting to note, how different they all cope though! Earth, though heartbroken, is actively grieving in a healthy manner, or at least trying to! Meanwhile, her brothers are very much not coping- Lunar is numb, Moon is overworking himself, and Sun honestly doesn't seem to know what to do! None of them are quite able to process, it seems.

Eclipse's section was so fascinating as well! He seems so genuinely confused about Earth's words, about her lack of wanting to hurt Ruin! He was so quiet when he listened to her, pretty much soaking in her words! For the first time, he actually seems to see her, see a perspective beyond his own-

Not to forget her sympathy. Because yes, Eclipse's life was fucking tragic, and still is, his wrong doings don't change that!

If this continues the way I think it might, then to be honest, it'll almost be better if Solar didn't return- Don't get me wrong, I love the guy with all my heart, however, his death is a lot more…meaningful? It's different from the rest.

In the past, there has been a consistent case of quiet mourning, and not just for the dead. For example, Lunar's grief for what he could've had with Eclipse, which caused him to be sent to Solar's dimension in the first place! It's a very consistent thing that still lives on, even without actively talking about it!

Other death's were quietly wept for in the past. When Eclipse died, no one was shown to grieve him, though Lunar likely did quietly. Again, that was probably partly why Moon sent Lunar to Solar's dimension!

Bloodmoon too, was quietly mourned for, though it was only mentioned briefly! For one, with KC, and in a video, Lunar went to Solar's dimension and they watched baby photo fanart together! Somewhere, Lunar mentioned Bloodmoon's death, and Solar stopped the recording for a while! After that, it wasn't talked about anymore.

Lunar's death itself was rather different, as it was clear from the beginning, that he was alive, though it didn't change the weight of it! It was shown in the way Sun would get quieter when he was mentioned. Though it was never actively talked about, the weight was there.

Old Moon is a whole issue in and of itself. It was obvious, just how much Sun wept for him, but that too was done quietly, often avoiding the topic all together! Likely feeling like he couldn't mourn at all, because it'll be unfair towards new moon. It was a constant weight at the back of his mind.

There was KC as well. Moon made it clear, how angry and upset he was, but it was never quite elaborated on, likely hanging over him quietly.

My point is, that all their grief was something quiet that stayed in the background, pushing itself to the front every once in a while. No one ever took the time to grieve properly before, to sit down and weep, to scream at the sky. There was always too much happening!

Deaths were never the focus!

This time though, it's different! Solar's death is a constant cloud hanging over them, never leaving them alone. It feels more meaningful, y'know? It's in the forefront now, it's complete center stage!

It will likely also cause quite a bit of character development, seeing with Eclipse already.

Not to forget, seeing as it's something hanging over them, we'll likely see our main characters going through all the process of grief, and slowly learn to live with it, to move forward. At least that's where I think it might be going-

Which, if that's the case, would feel meaningless if Solar returns.

Then again, if he does come back, I WILL cry tears of joy, so-

-Stardust

LITERALLYYYYY AUAGHHHH.!!!!

Genuinely any sort of "we were supposed to do xyz" when a character died fucks me up SO BAD. They had plans. They had hopes. They assumed they'd both be alive by then ☹️☹️☹️

AND YEA THEY'RE ALL HANDLING IT SO DIFFERENTLY ITS AUGHHH. Genuinely yea Earth (and maybe Sun?) seem to be the only ones grieving in a healthy way and it's so heartbreaking to watch all around. AND ECLIPSE. ECLIPSE..... YEAH HIS MEETING WITH EARTH WAS WILDLY FASCINATING TO ME. Even Earth herself noted that Eclipse didn't insult her, just kinda questioned and then left.

AND EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT DEATH IN TSAMS YESYESYES!!!!!!!! Genuinely me n my qpp were talking about something SO similar the other day, how no other characters had this level of grief from the characters and the videos!! There's always the obligatory "so-and-so is DEAD?! in vrchat" video but there was never a "missing Lunar" or "grieving the old Moon" video!! Like you said, it was always this quiet grief that seeped between the cracks and gunked up their ability to fully think or feel, but everyone was always so busy with Everything Else.

Now, we're at a point where most of the danger is dealt with or not a very immediate threat. Stitchwraith and Bloodmoon are more Foxy and Monty's problem, the Creator isn't targeting Sun and Moon (as far as we're aware, at least), and Eclipse is sort of... docile right now. The celestial family has time to grieve and they have every right to grieve because we really don't know if Solar is coming back.

I get you so hard btw I am genuinely so torn on whether I want Solar back or not for realzies ahsiahdj 😭😭😭

[noxtms]

❝   AND IF YOU'RE STARTING TO GET A LITTLE TIRED OF THE APPLEBY AUTUMNFEST, i'm here to direct you towards some grisly fun with our top ten list of things to do this halloween ! you might be feeling a little bummed that madam rosmerta's annual murder mystery dinner party has been sold out for months - and if you don't get lucky scoring some on the black market then maybe you should check out the leaky cauldron and the lion & the snitch down in london ! both hosting fancy dress parties, complete with assorted prizes, including one for best dressed ! the hog's head in hogsmeade has opted out of celebrating, but-...  ❞

IN CHARACTER :

ON DIAGON ALLEY : though they were more than a little reluctant to open the doors of the late penelope clearwater's bookstore to anyone but a developer willing to do right by it, tempest was ultimately swayed by damaris vector's way overly thought out pitch - though they probably didn't foresee the event that it turned into. when originally presented, the 'haunted house' walkthrough of the lower floors was a cheap effort built around the existing bookshelves more to take advantage of the shape they made when the lights were low and they were covered in heavy, black fabric; nothing more. the party it led to upstairs wasn't a small soiree, exactly, but would've included a few dozen close friends and wrapped up by the early am. after they got the go ahead, all of that changed quite a bit, and word of mouth caused a modest guestlist to swell beyond what was originally envisioned. what results is an unsanctioned rager at the heart of the busiest magical street in all of wixen britain, sure to get shut down by a disgruntled auror team any second now, but sure to be a hell of a lot of fun before it gets to that point.

the bookshelves are covered up to protect what still sits stacked on them, of course, and the candlelight that illuminates downstairs was already hugely effective for ambience purposes, but a lot of care went into the scares to be found in dark corners and dead ends. if it weren't for the magic involved, it'd be hard to believe the coating of fog that runs across the floors, the lengthy mirror maze set up somewhere in the middle, the creepy clown that jumps out if you take a wrong turn near the romance section and the moving spiders that greet you at poetry. someone - though damaris swears it WASN'T them - actually managed to secure three of the bloodiest ghosts you've ever seen to pop out when you least expect it, hired for the duration of the night. take a right at the realistic skeleton hanging behind the counter, dodge underneath live bats and pick your way along a line of conjured graves where hands will grab at your ankles if you don't move quick enough and you'll finally make your way up a staircase that has been lined with portraits that follow your every move to make it to the upper level and the real party. there's music coming from a speaker, somewhere, and a surplus of drinks even if there's no catering, and though the decorations get a little cheaper - orange and black garlands and those weird red bloody handprints made of sticky jelly that got thrown on every window - most are far too drunk to notice.

ON HORIZONT ALLEY : elsewhere ( up the road and to the left ), ned weasley is hosting a rather eclectic halloween party at the lion & the snitch at the behest of all his staff. more than happy to let the holiday pass without special note, it took just as much convincing to get him to agree to their varying ideas of how it should go down, and though too many cooks can usually spoil the broth, it's all managed to kind of work out.

the supervisor wanted a classic costume party, so that was what everything else was built around. entry is free, of course, but fancy dress is required. there's a whole host of orange & black decorations to set the mood and way too many pumpkins to count, though if you'd like to TRY, there's a jar on the bar you can put your guess into and win a portion of the one galleon competition fee. one of the bouncers thought that karaoke might be a fun inclusion, so that was set up in a corner. one of the servers knew someone who knew someone else and managed to book the weird sisters tribute band from 9-midnight. the kitchen staff, though usually only employed at the weekend, pulled out all the stops to make a spooky daytime menu and some gory treats for the later evening, and one of the bartenders stayed up all weekend testing some online recipes to make sure that the creepy cocktails on offer tasted good enough to JUSTIFY the price. everyone came together to make the night possible, and everyone is hoping it runs well enough for ned to sign off on their christmas plans, so word has been spread far and wide to try pull in the masses !

OUT OF CHARACTER:

happy halloween, pals ! this extra special holiday isn't just my favorite of the year, but also really important in the world we're writing in. a LOT of very huge events happened on or around the end of october, and i always try and use this time to remind everyone of the nox brand with a double event that most, if not all characters can enjoy ! this year is no different, with our two halloween parties aimed towards two very different demographics - though don't let that steer you towards one or the other if you feel your character would be best served by the other option !

the event will begin at 6pm on october 31st and run for two weeks, bringing us into november - click here to see what that translates to for your timezone ! the galleon system will continue to run throughout and end at the same time, so make sure to do whatever you can to claim as many coins as possible !

no character is actually required to attend either event, nor are you required to take part though you are highly encouraged to do so ! as with our previous two in one events, one is aimed towards an older generation while the other is aimed towards the younger crowd, but you should feel free to take part in whichever you most feel !

our halloween events will be a discord & dash combo, mostly to make it easier for people to take part who may not currently be able to hit the dash ! any event posts should be tagged with nox.event045 on dash and the locations for anyone who tags them are horizont alley ( for the pub ) & diagon alley ( for the abandoned bookstore ).

if you have any questions, comments or concerns, please send them to the main ! and please comment your favorite scary movie once you have read this post !

[voidbeau]

I require information on the Thorn-Run Job Agency

oooh

OH OH

You have no idea how excited i am that you asked about this one, friendo!!!

This idea started from a desire to play Outlast Trials but alas, that game requires money and i require friends to enhance the experience.

And none of my friends wanted to play with me. Too spooky and/or the money thing. ;C

So i settled for watching lets plays and the lets plays inspired what ifs.

"What if my favourite blorbos in my favourite stressful situations???"

And I started brainstorming and it went beyond a silly Outlast/Twomp crackfic- though that scenario is still in there + more like it from other fun horror games.

In any case, a small overarching plot came into play and it also bore a fun opportunity to play around with Thorn and what I feel his dynamic would be with the main twomp boys + Mr. Flower.

Which is super important for another fic I'm writing and also I just want to parade him around in public.

Behold, my horrible son!

But anyway, i'm not sure calling whatever Thorn is running a job agency? Maybe. Something of the like.

Anyway, the scene that started it all for me:

The air was cold and damp and carried with it the most putrid, heavy nauseating scent.

Musky with an underlying rotten sweetness to it. That mixed with the scent of mildew and god knows what else, it was hard not to find oneself gagging a little as they walked through the doors and into the dilapidated building.

The concrete floor of the hall was caked in blood, both fresh and old and in the centre were unusual tracks and wires spanning the length of the corridor as it appeared to follow it down a specific path.

The distant sounds of buzzing electricity and shrill screaming in the halls had added an extra layer of tension to the already wretched atmosphere.

As Argos took in his surroundings, he could clearly tell that Mr. Flower was not acclimating to the environment well at all.

To say he was tense was an understatement. His jaw and fists were tight while his limbs appeared to tremble. The little fan like petals that were his ears were pressed so tightly against his head that they may as well not have existed at all. Still, Mr. Flower's expression never shifted from stiff, pursed lips and a furrowed brow, but he kept in fairly close proximity with the gates that he, Argos and Mr. Plant had just come through.

Even though he had to know that they'd be locked the moment they entered this section of the building.

That was what they had just been told after all. Once the three were in, there was no way out until the job was done.

"Everyone past the gates and accounted for?" Came a voice from somewhere off to the side, grabbing the attention of the three disoriented Void-men.

It sounded staticy and like it was coming from above.

The lighting was unreliable at best, with many of the side rooms in the hall they stood in being engulfed in darkness or the hallway lights themselves on the low ceilings barely flickering with life.

Still, Argos was able to catch a glimpse of an intercom just above the metal, wired doors they had come through. Next to it, a tiny red flashing light on a mounted camera.

Argos smiled and nodded, flashing the camera a thumbs up. "Everything's good so far. So, you said this was nothing more than an escort job. Who exactly are we escorting?" Argos questioned while Mr. Plant sauntered to his side, hands wringing as even he felt on edge.

But that was always the case when it came to working under Thorn.

"Normally the debriefing happens before you send us out on a job." Mr. Flower muttered, one tense hand resting under his shoulder as he stayed in his little corner.

"Yeah- uh, sorry about that. We're on a bit of a time crunch today. But there should be a map and some supplies in that first aid cabinet next to the cutie in the corner." Thorn said through the intercom, and as he did, Mr. Plant moved to retrieve the aforementioned supplies.

All the while Mr. Flower tried to hide a red faced scowl at the comment that had just been made about him.

Mr. Plant pulled the cabinet doors open with a slight screech from the half rusted hinges, rewarded with the promised map, four flashlights, two small first aid kits and what appeared to be two tasers.

Argos quickly approached to get a good look at their inventory and to see how he could fit them into his backpack. Curiously, the eye-clad creature tilted his head at their choice of items. Simultaneously, the concern on Mr. Flower's face had deepened greatly as he too got a good look at everything.

Those were concerning and very telling items to be given on what was supposed to be a simple job.

"Oh, and another thing, this facility is mostly defunct. Whatever wacky research or experiments were happening here aren't anymore, but a lot of it's old security features are still in effect." Said Thorn casually. "What does that mean..?" Mr. Flower asked through gritted teeth.

"Means be careful out there, babe. Oh! And also if you check the map real quick..." Explained Thorn, who was likely watching as Mr. Plant unfurled the map they were given, revealing a small room to the East of their current location with four points nearby marked in red.

"Your assignment should be in that room to the East, but you're gonna need to unlock it by activating the switches marked on the map."

"Sounds easy enough!" Argos chimed in, chipper as usual.

"... At the same time." Thorn quickly added.

Mr. Plant tilted his head in question at that added fact and similarly Argos' expression fell to puzzlement and concern. Mr. Flower let out something of a frustrated hiss however. "There's only three of us." He stated matter of factly. "Why would we be sent out a member short if they knew this was part of the job?" He asked, frustrated and anxious.

Argos shrugged, "Clerical error I guess..." He said through a nervous smile, "I'm sure this comes with a backup plan!" Argos said, trying to maintain a more optimistic outlook.

"Oh don't worry about a thing, sweetheart. Of course we got you covered!" Thorn piped up through the intercom.

"This mission is particularly special, and so we made sure to match up my favourite crew with only the best fill-ins." The rose monster assured.

This information piqued the interest of the group of course, although Mr. Flower remained mostly incredulous. "Who?" Asked Argos.

"Me! Now why don't y'all head on down to the end of the corridor and we'll meet up on the other side. It's gettin' a little dicey over here."