#and i have a job and i eat three meals a day i’m supposed to be Doing Good

[lambentplume]

any swimmers in chat with suggestions about how to. deal with the sensory issues that occur in between being completely dry and completely wet

[artificialcaretaker]

Migraine(???)s be so funny like I’ll be in pain and my thought process is “There is a heartbeat in my head. My brain is melting. I can feel my heart beating in my head I can hear it too and it hurts and I can’t focus on anything else” and then you’ll take something for it and feel a little better and immediately go Dude why did I say That. ??

[smileysuh]

Filthy

🌙 staring. Joshua & Jeonghan x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. There’s something long and hard rubbing against your ass, and you can’t help but pull away from Joshua to drop your favourite lawyer pickup line to the man behind you; “Is that a gavel in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?” “Both,” Jeonghan practically purs, his mouth hot against your neck. “Think you can handle it?”

tw/cw. threesome, unprotected sex, multiple sex scenes, blow job, shower sex, double penetration, butt stuff, use of a judge's gavel as an anal sex toy, lube, praise, degradation, dirty talk, spanking, cock warming, fingering, hand riding, slight roleplay, beefy/size kink Joshua, polyamory, breast play, masturbation, 'full' kink, etc... I petnames. (hers) gorgeous, baby, filthy little whore.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.8k

🍭 aus. Lawyer!Jihan, polyamory, established relationship, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. the Joshua/Jeonghan pairing always does something to me, and now it can do something to you too. special thank you to @junkissed for helping me figure this fic out :)

It’s nights like these where you have to be very secure in yourself to be in a relationship with not one but two of the top lawyers in your city. Evenings spent cooking dinner in the hope they’ll be able to make it home in time to eat with you often end up with you feeling a little lonely and picking at your food, two seats empty at your table.

You have to remind yourself that this is their job, that they try their best, and when they do finally come home, you have to greet them with a smile. There’s no room for blame on nights like these. 

“Sorry we’re so late, gorgeous,” Jeonghan apologizes immediately when they arrive home, setting down his briefcase and opening his arms to pull you into an embrace. One of his hands moves up to cup your cheek, and the kiss he places on your lips lingers. “The litigation team found an entire file of information that’s applicable to the court hearing tomorrow.”

“We just spent three hours going over it,” Joshua sighs, hanging his coat up in the closet.

The younger of your boyfriends looks much more tired than Jeonghan does, but Joshua’s always had a lower tolerance for unexpected turns in cases. You know he must have been seething when they discovered the file, and your heart goes out to him.

“That sounds rough,” you say sympathetically, turning your attention to the beautiful, exhausted man. “What can I do to help?” you ask as you begin to pepper kisses along his jaw, working your way to his pretty lips. “Are you hungry?”

“We ate at the firm,” Jeonghan tells you. “Soonyoung went out and got us all burgers.”

You smile at the mention of your long time friend, he’s one of their errand boys, and it sounds like none of your close acquaintances have had a good night. Sure, a part of you deflates a little- you’d prepared their meals, and the food is still waiting for them in the kitchen, but you suppose that’s easy clean up.

“I guess you two will be wanting to go to bed,” you sigh. “You’ve both got to get up at six, right?”

“I’m sorry,” Joshua matches your exacerbated tone, and he’s frowning while looking down at you. “I know you hate it when we miss dinner.”

“It’s alright,” you assure him, gently smoothing your hands along his broad chest before giving him a small pat and pulling away. “This is part of the job. I’ve got to go put the food away.”

“We should have texted you,” Jeonghan offers, “but it was a mad scramble at the firm.”

“Like I said, it’s alright,” you smile softly. “You’ve had long days, go relax, I’ll meet you in the bedroom when I’m done in the kitchen.”

With a nod, Joshua heads down the hall, but Jeonghan lingers. “I’ll help you clean up,” he tells you after a moment of consideration.

“Thank you.” 

The two of you relocate to the kitchen. It’s late, and like your boyfriends, you’re also moving a little slower than normal. 

It helps to have another set of hands, even if they’re on your hips while Jeonghan presses himself against your back. “Looks like you made a great dinner tonight, gorgeous. I’m extra sorry we missed it.”

“You really don’t have to keep apologizing,” you laugh, carefully putting the food into containers to be put in the fridge. “Besides, you can eat it tomorrow for lunch or something.”

“What would we do without you?” Jeonghan’s lips are on your neck, and the gentle kisses almost tickle, making your smile widen. 

“Eat bad food or starve?” you suggest.

Jeonghan grins against your throat. “Lucky we have you then, hmm?”

“Very lucky,” you agree. 

“Listen, I’m going to go have a shower…” Jeonghan holds you tighter, and you can feel his cock pressing against your ass through his pants. “Want to come join me?”

You push your butt back towards the horny man you call your lover, grinning at his behavior. “What about Joshua?” 

“You know Joshie likes morning showers after the gym. He won’t join us. In fact…” Jeonghan’s nose traces across your throat, his breath hot, “I bet he’s already asleep.”

“You think?”

Jeonghan hums. “He almost passed out in the car ride home. Trust me, we should let him rest.”

“We’ll have to be quiet though,” you point out. “We wouldn’t want to wake him.”

“I can be quiet,” Jeonghan smirks, “can you?” 

You love it when he challenges you like this, and you give a quick nod.

“Good,” he pulls away from your back, giving your ass a light smack. “Meet me in the bathroom, gorgeous.”

You’re just about done in the kitchen, and when you head down the hall to the guest bathroom, Jeonghan already has the shower running. 

The room is filling with steam, and his suit is neatly folded on the sink. Joshua’s forced Jeonghan into the habit of taking care of his clothes, and the sight of your wild boyfriend being neat always makes you giggle.

You’re wearing a cute little ‘housewife dress’ as Jeonghan would call it, and it’s easy enough for you to slip off. The underwear set adorning your body was one you’d chosen with the hope of someone else tearing it off, but you suppose doing it yourself before getting fucked in the shower is a decent compromise. 

Soon, you’re naked and opening the glass door to join Jeonghan in one of his favourite sex locations.

Jeonghan’s always been beautiful, but there’s something almost ethereal about the way he looks when there’s water cascading over his perfect skin. He turns as you enter, eyes scanning over your body as a smile appears on his lips. 

“Hi gorgeous,” he greets you, grabbing your waist to tug you tight to his front, capturing his cock between your bodies.

“I can’t believe you’re already hard,” you giggle, enjoying how easy it is to turn him on.

“I’ve been fighting a stiffy since lunch time when you sent me that picture of the new lingerie Joshua bought you. He might have forgotten about it and gone to sleep, but I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day.” 

“Is that so?” you tease, wrapping your arms around his shoulders while he pulls you half under the spray of warm water. “Is this what you were imagining?”

“I was imagining tag teaming you with Joshua, but when work ran late… this is exactly what I started to have in mind.”

“You like having me all to yourself, don’t you, Hannie?” 

“I’m not gonna lie,” his fingers dig into your hips, “as much as sharing you with Joshie is fun, I do enjoy having you to myself every once in a while.” 

“So now that you have me to yourself, what can I do for you, Mister Yoon?” You press your body forward, applying pressure to his cock. “I know you had such a long, hard day-”

“My day isn’t the only thing that’s long and hard,” Jeonghan smirks at you.

“I’m very aware of that, Mister Yoon. Shall I take care of it for you?” You love playing the part of sexy assistant, and he deserves it after the day he’s had.

Jeonghan lets out a groan. “Have I told you how fucking sexy you are today?”

“No, but I’d love to hear it while I suck you off, Mister Yoon,” you grin, pulling away from him so you can get down onto your knees.

“You always love being praised when you have your mouth full, isn’t that right, gorgeous?” Jeonghan’s eyes are fixed on you as you wrap your fingers around the base of his cock, and his hand moves down to push your hair out of your face.

“Of course, Mister Yoon, love to be praised by you.” 

“Yeah,” Jeonghan sighs as your tongue teases the head of his cock. “I’m the good one, and Joshua always gets to be the bad one with degradation. Are you sure I can’t call you my wonderful little cockwhore?”

“I think that’s still bordering on praise, Hannie,” you grin, breaking your game of assistant to ‘Mister Yoon’ for a moment to appreciate your boyfriend. Jeonghan can never be that rough with you, and his dirty talk always includes praise, even when he’s trying to be more of an asshole.

“It’s just hard not to compliment you,” he says, groaning when you take him into your mouth. “You always feel so good.”  

With your mouth full, there’s no way to verbally respond, but the moan you let out sends a shiver of pleasure through your lover. 

“Fuck, you feel like magic, gorgeous,” Jeonghan tells you, his voice breathy. “Always so good at sucking me off- who taught you how to be so good at sucking cock?”

Technically, he did. Jeonghan’s never been one to shy away from giving you instructions on what feels best, but to be fair, it’s never taken that much for you to get him to the edge either. 

He likes it when you move your tongue along his shaft, and he goes crazy for the sounds of pleasure you make when Joshua fucks you silly while you suck on him. But Joshua’s not here tonight, so you slip your own hand between your legs, rubbing your wet pussy with eager fingers.

“I guess we’re both horny, huh? I can’t complain. We both know I love watching my gorgeous girl touch herself. I’m not sure where to focus, on your mouth, or your hand.” 

You’re not sure where to focus either. Part of you wants to lean in to blowing Jeonghan, but another part of you feels so good to be touched after so many hours being home alone. It’s clear you’ve both needed this, both needed a release, and you know it won’t be long until both of you are cumming.

“Fuck, keep doing that,” Jeonghan moans when you swirl your tongue around his cock, taking him deeper into your mouth. “Keep doing that for me, good girl, good girl.” 

You whimper at the praise, rubbing circles on your clit that have jitters of pleasure erupting through your body. 

“I’ve been wanting this all day, gorgeous,” Jeonghan tells you, hips rutting forward to push his cock deeper into the back of your throat. “I’m not going to last long, and I don’t want to be in your mouth when I cum.” 

You pull off his cock, free hand stroking his shaft while you continue to rub your pussy. You blink up at Jeonghan. “Are you going to fuck me, Mister Yoon?”

“Of course gorgeous, now stop touching that pretty pussy and stand up for me.” 

You’re on your feet not a moment later, and Jeonghan gently pushes you so your back is against the wall. He kisses you hard, one hand reaching down to hike your thigh onto his hip, spreading you open for the cock that rubs between your pussy lips.

You whimper when his length brushes by your clit, and your boyfriend smiles against your mouth. “Ready for me?” he asks. “You don’t need me to get on my knees and return the favour first?”

“Definitely not,” you say quickly, “just want you inside of me.”

“You got it, gorgeous.” 

With one quick adjustment, the head of his cock is pressing into your entrance and you’re both letting out moans of pleasure, although yours is much louder than Jeonghan’s.  

“Shh!” he reprimands you with a laugh, slapping his hand over your mouth. “Joshie’s sleeping, remember?”

Honestly, part of you had forgotten. You’d been so enraptured in Jeonghan that Joshua hadn’t even been on your mind. 

You can’t help but smile against your boyfriend’s palm, but when he thrusts into you, your eyebrows furrow and another moan slips out of you, this time it’s muffled by Jeonghan.

“Fuck you’re so wet, and I know it’s not just from the shower,” Jeonghan groans. “Who made you this wet?”

His hand makes your response almost unintelligible, but as far as you’re both concerned, it’s a clear ‘you did.’ 

The feeling of Jeonghan’s chest pressing up against your sensitive nipples, the water from the shower making you both slippery- well, it’s absolutely wonderful. You’ve always loved fucking your hotshot lawyer boyfriend in the shower, and you completely lose yourself in the pleasure he provides.

As he fucks you harder, Jeonghan gets tired of muffling your sounds with his hand, and his mouth replaces it on your lips. His tongue invades you, and the whimpers that escape you are eaten up by your boyfriend.

He’s making his own pretty sounds, and they’re music to your ears. You like to know you make Jeonghan feel good, and his moans and groans have always been a huge turn on.

He breaks your kiss much too quickly for your liking, moving his mouth to your throat. “I’m close,” he tells you, teeth dragging by your skin. “Tell me you’re close too-”

“I am,” you confirm, gripping his wet shoulders tighter as you close your eyes and rest your head back against the cold tile. “You fuck me so well, Mister Yoon.”

“Fuck,” Jeonghan moans, rutting into you even faster. “Rub your clit, want you to cum as hard as I’m about to.”

One of your hands slips between your bodies, seeking out the sensitive nub that makes your whole body tingle. “Kiss me!” you beg, needing his mouth to muffle the sounds of pleasure that are definitely going to get louder now-

Jeonghan kisses you and takes your breath away. You completely give in to the feeling of euphoria that builds in your core, and the way you moan into each other’s mouths tells you that you’re both getting closer and closer-

You know Jeonghan well enough now to know the pitch of groan he makes when he cums, and you reach your highs together, lip locked in your shower while Joshua rests in the bedroom down the hall.

Jeonghan fucks you through your orgasm, and when you’re both done, he helps you put your foot back down on the floor, steadying you with two hands. 

“You’re amazing,” he tells you, as the two of you wash your bodily fluids from your skin under the hot water.

“No, you are,” you insist. “You had a long day and you still fucked me, I wasn’t sure if I was going to get laid tonight.” 

“I live to serve,” Jeonghan teases, turning you in his arms so your back is to his chest. His lips press kisses against your shoulder. “The court case will be over soon, even though this was fun, I know you usually like more,” - and by more, he means threesomes with Joshua - “I promise we’ll make it up to you when we’re done with the trial.” 

Jeonghan always keeps his promises.

The two of you dry up and head to the bedroom wrapped in towels. 

Joshua’s laying on the mattress, under the duvet. He’s adorned in a silky sleeping shirt, part of a set you’d got him for his birthday last year. There’s a sleep mask over his eyes too, and you think he must be in dreamland-

But as you and Jeonghan tiptoe to the closet to get dressed for bed, Joshua lets out a sigh, and one word slips past his lips that makes you realize he’s been awake this whole time; “Filthy.”

You feel like a kid on Christmas morning when your boyfriends arrive back from court after the last day of their hearing. Joshua’s visibly more relaxed than he has been in weeks, and his happy expression tells you that they probably won their case, which is good news for you.

He pulls you into an embrace, cupping your face and kissing you. You can practically feel the emotion pouring out of him, his love for you, his need-

And Jeonghan’s just as eager to get a piece of you, pressing his chest up to your back and grabbing at your hips.

There’s something long and hard rubbing against your ass, and you can’t help but pull away from Joshua to drop your favourite lawyer pickup line to the man behind you; “Is that a gavel in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?” 

“Both,” Jeonghan practically purs, his mouth hot against your neck. “Think you can handle it?” 

Joshua watches your expression, and he lets out a small chuckle at the way your eyes widen. “He’s being serious about the gavel.” It must be obvious you’re in shock. “I told him not to do this-”

“Nah, she’s going to love this,” Jeonghan insists, reaching into his pocket to pull out the little wooden hammerlike tool that judges use to maintain order in the court and make rulings. “I can use it to stretch you open, you know, get you prepped to take something bigger.”

Jeonghan rubs his cock against your ass again and you realize what he’s suggesting. 

You’re not sure how, exactly, the routine ended up being the way it is, but Joshua always ends up monopolizing on your pussy while Jeonghan fucks around with your ass. Although he’s never fucked around with your ass using a wooden gavel.

“Come on, gorgeous,” Jeonghan teases the tool along your arm. “What do you say?”

“First…” you swallow thickly, “I wanna know where you even got that thing.” You grab at the gavel and Jeonghan lets you take it, testing the weight in your hand.

“A judge owed my family a favour,” Jeonghan says simply. 

“Won’t they get in trouble?” 

The man behind you shrugs. “Gavels go missing all the time.”

“I told you she wouldn’t like it,” Joshua smirks knowingly. “We don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.”

As much as Joshua can be a bit of a dickhead in the bedroom, he still classifies himself as a gentleman in his day to day life, and giving you the space to make choices for yourself is part of that.

“It’s okay,” you assure them, taking a shaky breath. “He can use it on me… we all know Jeonghan quickly gets tired of using toys.”

“See?” Jeonghan grins, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I told you she’d say yes. What did you call her the other night? Filthy? I told you our filthy girl would let me use the gavel on her.” 

Joshua makes a sound of annoyance in the back of his throat. “I’m pretty sure I called you both filthy. Fucking in the shower while I was trying to sleep- I still haven’t gotten either of you back for that.”

“You’re about to get back at us now,” Jeonghan insists.

“Really?” Joshua’s brows raise. “How’s that?”

“You’re about to be balls deep in the best pussy you’ve ever had.”

“And how does that get back at you?” Joshua presses.

The man behind you shrugs, grinding against your bum. “I only get to enjoy her ass.”

The ‘gentleman’ rolls his eyes. “Key word enjoy. We both know you love her ass.” 

“Okay, I do love her ass,” Jeonghan concedes, “and if we keep talking about it instead of letting me fuck it, I’m gonna be pissed, so how about we take this to the bedroom?”

You look at Joshua, waiting for your more controlling lover to decide what comes next. 

With one final sigh, Joshua bends down and throws you over his shoulder, making you squeal and wrap your hand tighter around the gavel. You thank god for how much he’s been going to the gym before work lately- the manhandling he does always makes you wetter beyond belief, and your panties are already sticking to your core.

Jeonghan follows the two of you to the bedroom with a grin, and you find yourself shaking your head at him. “I can’t believe you brought a gavel home.”

“It’s sexy,” he insists.

“Are you sure about that?” You jokingly bring the gavel down on your hand and Jeonghan audibly moans.

“Yes, your honour, absolutely positive.” 

Joshua snickers below you, and you find yourself grinning at Jeonghan. It really doesn’t take much to get him turned on, and you should have known he’d have a thing for you being a naughty judge of sorts.

“Careful, Counsel,” you tut, using more lawyer lingo on him, “or I’ll sentence you to eating me out before you get your dick wet.”

“Sentence me then, I’m guilty, and I need to be punished.” 

You and Jeonghan release giggles, enjoying the playful banter, but Joshua doesn’t seem so impressed. He tosses you onto the bed, looking down at you with an exasperated expression. “Neither of you take law seriously.”

“We’re off the clock, Josh,” Jeonghan grins, patting his friend on the shoulder. “Lighten up a little.”

“I’m never going to be able to look at a gavel the same way again after this,” Joshua sighs.

Jeonghan’s grin only widens. “That’s the point, popping stiffies in the court room is good for your exhibitionism kink. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re wrong.”  

“Joshua,” you lock eyes with the more stoic of your lovers, “I’ve missed you.”

The lawyer visibly relaxes, shoulders falling as he takes a deep breath. “I’ve missed you too,” he confesses, putting a knee onto the bed between your legs, hands finding the mattress on either side of your head while he presses his lips to your own.

He’s always been a fabulous kisser, and you hadn’t realized how much you’ve needed him in the past few weeks. Sure, he’s fucked you a number of times, but part of his head is always somewhere else, somewhere working.

There’s nothing in the world like having Joshua Hong’s full attention, especially when he’s pinning you beneath his large body-

“So I guess I’m just standing here and watching tonight?” Jeonghan’s voice is laced with annoyance, and Joshua matches the sentiment when he pulls his lips from your own, looking over his shoulder at his friend.

“Be patient,” Joshua snaps. “And I thought you were a vouyer, don’t tell me you’re not enjoying this.”

“Fine,” Jeonghan swings the gavel in his hand. “Maybe I’m enjoying this a little, but I’m tired from working too, and we don’t have all night.”

“We do have all night,” Joshua insists. “It’s not my fault you insisted on waking up early to eat out your precious, little miss gorgeous while I got more rest. If you’re tired you can have a nap.”

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at the man still pinning you to the bed. Then he swings the gavel again. “I’m going to go grab the lube.”

“You do that.” Joshua’s lips are back on yours a moment later, and you find yourself smiling into the kiss. 

You’ve always enjoyed their unique dynamic, the push and pull between the men who have captured your heart. If someone asked you which of the two you like better, you’d tell them it’s impossible to choose, and that’s the truth.

With your legs around Joshua’s hips, it’s as easy as ever for him to grind down against you, and you moan at the feeling. Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging gently to work pretty sounds out of him as well.

“I need you naked,” Joshua tells you, grabbing at the pretty dress you’d worn to celebrate the closing of their high stress case. 

“Then take this off of me,” you suggest, “but please be gentle.”

Your boyfriend smirks. “Only with the dress.” His large hands smooth up your thighs, pushing the fabric up to your hips. “And these cute panties.” His fingers tug gently at the waistband of your thong, letting the material snap back against your skin before he continues lifting the dress from your body. 

Now all that stands between him and you is the set you’d worn, and he takes a moment to appreciate it. A sigh passes from between his lips, and Joshua’s eyes take in your form, hands going to caress your breasts through your bra.

“Look at our pretty little present,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to your collar bone before moving down. “It would be a shame to take this off before Jeonghan sees it.”

As much as the two of your boyfriends bicker, they can still be quite considerate of each other, and it makes your panties even wetter against your core.

“Flavoured lube or regu-” Jeonghan’s returned from where you keep all your sex paraphernalia, and his question cuts off. You can tell he’s as bewitched by your bra and pantie set as Joshua is, and it makes your heart swell with pride. “Fuck, gorgeous, you look…”

“Perfect,” Joshua groans, biting at the lacey detailing of your bra. “How’d we ever get so lucky?”

“Well, I brought her around after a date and you decided you wanted in on the situation,” Jeonghan retorts, making you smile, “that’s how we got lucky.”

“I’m still not going to apologize for it,” Joshua breathes, smiling as he presses more chaste kisses to the swell of your breasts. “It’s not my fault you weren’t satisfying her.”

“Hey!” you and Jeonghan both protest, and with one harsh push at Joshua’s shoulders, he allows you to roll so you’re now on top of him.

“What?” he grins, as if he hadn’t just said anything wrong.

“You know what,” you chastise him, trailing your fingers along his chest before moving to the buttons of his shirt. “Don’t be rude.”

“Sorry, baby, you know I’m only playing.”

“So she gets an apology but I don’t?” Jeonghan tuts, approaching the bed.

“And don’t pretend you’re only playing,” you scold Joshua. “Those were fighting words.”

“Fighting words.” The man beneath you only smiles wider, but he doesn’t try to argue. 

The mattress dips as Jeonghan joins behind you, his lips seeking out your shoulder. “I brought regular lube,” he tells you, going back to the matter at hand. “Unless you want me to get the cherry one and eat your ass.”

When he’d first started saying lines like this one, you’d thought he was joking, then it had seemed something of a threat, but now, you think Jeonghan might actually want to eat your ass, something you’re not particularly interested in tonight.

“Hannie,” you sigh, ditching your task with Joshua’s shirt buttons to reach behind you and thread your fingers through your other lover’s hair. 

“What?” Jeonghan smiles against your shoulder, and you find it almost comical how he and Joshua have so many of the same mannerisms. They’re two sides of the same coin, and you’re so lucky you don’t have to ever choose head or tails.

“Just help me with my bra,” you instruct, grinding down against Joshua and feeling needy beyond belief. 

“You got it, gorgeous.” Jeonghan’s fingers undo the clasp, and the material goes slack. Two sets of hands work to pull it off your body, and then those hands are clashing to get a good grip on your boobs.

Joshua ends up grabbing your left one, and Jeonghan settles for the right. In unison, they go to pinch your nipples, and you throw your head back, releasing a moan of delight. 

“You both feel so good,” you tell them, grinding down on Joshua even harder. 

“Going to feel even better in a minute,” Jeonghan promises, “but we’ve got to get your panties off first.”

You’re in a very difficult position to follow through removing your underwear, as you’re still straddling Joshua, and you go to lift yourself up- only for Jeonghan to reach down and grab onto your thong. 

You begin to tell him off with a “Don’t-” but Jeonghan’s already tearing the flimsy fabric off your body, ruining the panties forever. 

Disappointment floods through you, and Joshua immediately sits up in an attempt to sooth you. 

“You warned me to be gentle with your clothes, but you never warned him,” Joshua reminds you, pressing a kiss to your nipple. “We’ll buy you new ones.”

“Promise?” you pout, steadying your hands on his shoulders.

“Promise,” Jeonghan confirms, reaching around you so he can cup your pussy, fingers teasing past your clit. “You just look so sexy and needy on top of Josh, I didn’t want to make any of us wait any longer.”

“That’s because you’re impatient,” Joshua reprimands him, and it’s a common statement made in your household. 

Jeonghan doesn’t even bother to defend himself, instead slipping two fingers into your wet core. “Ride my hand, gorgeous?”

You let out a frustrated groan, but do as you’re told. 

There’s something so insanely sexy about straddling Joshua while he sucks on your nipples and Jeonghan’s hand presses between your bodies, long fingers buried deep inside of you-

You swivel your hips and moans begin to slip out of you. 

When Jeonghan begins rutting against your ass, aiding you in grinding against his hand, it almost becomes too much, and you whimper loudly.

“Close already? Jeonghan asks, lips ghosting by your throat.

“I’ve missed being between you like this,” you admit, focusing on the pleasure that surges through you at being in the exact position you’ve been deprived of for a little over a week. Their schedules simply haven’t lined up lately, and it feels like heaven to finally be exactly where you’ve always wanted to be; pressed between Joshua and Jeonghan.

“That’s our filthy girl,” Joshua grins, large hand coming up to grope your breast and tease your nipple again. “You look so good like this.”

“Joshie-” you whimper, his praise going straight to your core.

“Love the way you squeeze my fingers when he talks dirty to you like this,” Jeonghan moans, licking at your sweet spot and sending a shiver up your spine. 

“Come on, baby,” Joshua encourages you, “I want you to cum while riding his hand.”

“While he sucks on your perfect nipples,” Jeonghan adds. “I’ve got such a good view.”

You’re so lucky they’re both voyeurs who enjoy watching you get pleased by each other, and you allow yourself to get lost in the feeling. Jeonghan continues to rut against your ass, helping you grind down on his hand while he applies more pressure to your clit with his palm.

More moans of pleasure escape you, and you can feel both men smiling at the sounds. “That’s it,” Joshua breathes, “let go for us, the quicker you cum, the quicker I can be inside you. You want me inside, right?”

“Uh huh,” you whimper, eyes closed as you work your way closer and closer-

“Just like that,” Jeonghan tells you, “you’re so perfect for us-”

It’s the final line of praise that makes the cord in your stomach snap, and you let out a gasp as you find your release. You quiver between your boyfriends, motions faltering, but Jeonghan takes over for you, thrusting his fingers into your core and rubbing at your clit to work you through your high.

All you can do is latch onto Joshua’s shoulders as an anchor and enjoy the feeling of being worshipped, the feeling of being pressed between two men who love you more than almost anything in the world. 

Some part of you is a little bitter that their work still comes first, but this is proof enough that as soon as a case is over, you get to cum too. 

As far as orgasms go, however, this is just an appetizer. Jeonghan’s fingers are great, but they’re nothing compared to having two cocks buried inside of you, and as soon as you’re done cumming, you’re pushing at Joshua’s shoulders for space.

“Lay down,” you tell him, “I need to get your dick out.”

Joshua laughs but does as he’s told, tearing his shirt off before resting back against the bed with a smile. 

“You get his dick out,” Jeonghan says, “and I’m going to lube up the handle of this gavel.”

He can be such a weirdo, but he’s your weirdo, and you love him endlessly.

You’re attention is focused on Joshua, who lifts his hips a little to help you get his pants down, and you let out a moan when his cock slaps up against his abdomen.

You’re not sure what you ever did to deserve two men with such pretty cocks, and it’s almost a shame that in this position you can’t blow him. You promise yourself to give him good head another time soon, for his benefit or your own, you’re not quite sure.

Wrapping your hand around Joshua, you guide him to your wet core. 

Sinking down on him makes you both groan loudly, and as soon as he’s inside, you collapse against his strong chest to press your lips to his.

Joshua grabs your hips, fingers digging into your skin. 

If it was just the two of you, you have no doubt he’d be fucking you already, that he’d be rutting up to meet you and helping you bounce on his cock- but you’re both highly aware of Jeonghan at your rear. 

Any time Jeonghan does butt stuff with you, Joshua settles for cock warming while his friend works you open, and it gives you lots of time to enjoy his pretty lips and the tongue that glides by your own.

“I’ve gotta say it, gorgeous,” Jeonghan sighs, “you’ve got the prettiest ass I’ve ever seen.” 

Coming from an assman like Jeonghan, it’s a huge compliment, and you always appreciate his praise. No man has ever made you feel as proud of your asshole as Jeonghan has, and it’s always a somewhat comical experience, but one you love nonetheless.

“I’m about to ruin this gavel,” the assman at your rear tells you, giving you the space to back out, but you’re much too deep in this to go back now. 

When you respond with a loud moan, still lip locked with Joshua, Jeonghan brings the lubed up tip of the handle to your hole, gently pressing it inside.

You’ve become accustomed to butt stuff while dating these two men, and the feeling is one that you’ve learned to love. Even though it’s just the first inch of the handle, slowly teasing your hole, it feels amazing to have Jeonghan working your ass open while Joshua’s buried balls deep in your pussy.

“Fuck, this looks-” Jeonghan groans, “insane. Joshie, you’re really missing out.”

Joshua only chuckles against your lips, and you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing about Jeonghan missing out on your pussy. 

The handle of the gavel presses deeper into your ass and you feel yourself clench around both of your intrusions. 

Joshua lets out a groan, reaching to cup your bum and spread your cheeks for his friend.

“Shit, yeah, that’s good,” Jeonghan tells you. “This looks-”

“Insane,” Joshua finishes for his friend, pulling away from your mouth to glare over your shoulder, “we know. Hurry up so I can actually start fucking her.”

“I want to play a little more though,” you can hear the pout on Jeonghan’s words. “It’s only two inches deep.”

“Hannie,” you groan. “Please-”

“Just a little more,” Jeonghan insists, pulling the gavel out of your ass only to press it back in. The feeling makes your toes curl, and Joshua lets out a grunt below you when your pussy clenches around him again.

“Fuck,” Joshua cusses, releasing one of your ass cheeks only to bring his hand down on it with a harsh slap. All three of you moan and the flash of pain makes your toes curl again. 

“Joshie-” you whimper, burying your face against his neck.

“Another?” Joshua asks, not bothering for an answer before he’s spanking you again.

Jeonghan moans. “Holy shit-” The gavel is toyed around your ass, and then it’s being removed. “Fine, have it your way.”

You feel the gavel being tossed onto the bed, and then there’s a scuffle of pants and a cap being clicked. You can hear Jeonghan lubing up his cock, and he lets out a hiss at the sensation. “Ready for me, gorgeous?”

“Yes, please,” you whimper, arching your back to make things easier for the assman behind you.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” Joshua groans, spreading your asscheeks with two large, warm hands, “You’re both filthy.” 

“Don’t act as if you don’t love this,” Jeonghan tuts, pressing the head of his cock to your hole. The tip slips into you and you cry out, earning a soothing touch of Jeonghan’s hand over your spine. “Relax, gorgeous, this is going to feel amazing.”

It already does, but you focus on your breathing as Jeonghan slides his lubed cock deeper into your ass.

“Okay, okay,” Jeonghan swallows thickly, “let’s start to move.”

“Thank fuck,” Joshua groans, grabbing onto your hips to anchor you above him for his first real thrust-

They move in unison, and the feeling of being stuffed makes you cry out in pleasure, grabbing onto Joshua’s shoulders. 

You love how you don’t have to do anything. Pressed between Jeonghan and Joshua, you give up all control. Their push pull relationship is never more evident as it is now, and they wordlessly work together in a way that has your toes curling and your eyes clenching shut.

“Fuck, fuck-” you whimper loudly and it only makes your boyfriends laugh.

“Hang in there, gorgeous, we just started,” Jeonghan warns you.

“You’re so tight, baby,” Joshua groans, “such a filthy little whore for being stuffed.”

You kind of love it when he calls you a filthy little whore, and your pussy throbs with pleasure-

“Shit, are you going to cum?” Joshua laughs. “Our filthy little whore is going to cum already?”

“It just feels so good,” you whimper. “Feels so full-”

“That’s the way you like it,” Jeonghan says, and you can hear him smiling. Then his hand comes down on your ass and you let out a yelp, clenching again-

“Fuck-” Joshua groans loudly. “If you keep squeezing me like that, I’m not going to last either-”

“Aw,” Jeonghan teases, “is our stoic little lawyer boy going to cum already?”

“Fuck off,” Joshua growls, fingers digging into your hips while he fucks up into you even faster. 

“It was just a question,” Jeonghan insists, but you can hear his own voice faltering with effort. 

“Unlike you, I’ve been focused on the case,” the man below you argues. “Excuse me for being sensitive after not being in this perfect pussy for three days.”

“You chose sleep over fucking, not my fault,” Jeonghan retorts. 

“Please,” you groan, “stop arguing.” 

“We both know if she cums, we cum,” Joshua continues, disregarding your plea. “Don’t act like you’d be able to stop yourself-”

“Hannie-” You turn your attention to the man in your ass, hoping he’ll see reason and end this bickering, but of course he wants the last word. 

“Be patient, Joshie.” 

“Fuck,” Joshua groans loudly, bucking up into you wildly.

“I’m so close-” you whine, needing to draw their attention to you somehow. Besides, it’s the truth, and you can feel your orgasm rising in your core again-

“Shit,” Jeonghan grabs your ass roughly. “Can you hold it?”

“I don’t think so-” you admit, pressing your lips against Joshua’s throat in an effort to distract yourself.

The man under you shudders, and you know he’s just as close as you are to reaching his end. 

“Please, Hannie,” you moan desperately, “I want to be full, please fill me up, please-”

Jeonghan lets out a shaky breath, and when he speaks, his voice is near a whisper; “Order in the court.” 

“Fuck order,” Joshua says, a major statement coming from him, “cum with me baby, come on, cum with me.” 

That’s all it takes for your orgasm to take over, and you let out a strangled gasp as it slams into you. You feel yourself clamp down on both men, and Joshua moans loudly in your ear as he reaches his own high.

His hips falter ever so slightly, and you can feel him filling you up with his cum while Jeonghan releases cusses behind you, fingers digging into your hips as he’s thrown over the edge too.

Being double stuffed is one thing, but being double filled is another, and it feels like absolute heaven. If there’s ever a night to get noise complaints, it’s going to be tonight, as the sound of three people reaching cloud nine together rings through the room.

The two men fuck you until they can’t anymore, until you’re all breathing heavily and nearly overstimulated. 

You’re already collapsed against Joshua’s chest, and Jeonghan slumps down against your back, breath hot against your neck. 

The three of you lay there for a short while, trying to slow your racing hearts. Then Joshua lets out a sigh. “Did you really say ‘order in the court’ during sex?”

“Did you really say ‘fuck order’?” Jeonghan retorts.

God, you love these men.

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🔮 preview. Maybe Joshua calling you filthy had some merit, only a filthy filthy girl would be in a situation like this. Jacking off your boyfriend, rubbing your clit under his desk while your other boyfriend hides his own cock from your friend in the doorway-

cw/ tw. exhibitionism/sex in their workplace, blowjob, masturbation, Soonyoung walks in during y/n blowing Joshua, head petting, praise, degradation, hand job, voyeurism, mentions of this not being the first time someone’s walked in on them, cum swallowing, finger licking, etc…

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🌙 staring. Joshua & Jeonghan x afab!Reader  

bonus

You’d guessed there was a plan brewing when Joshua messaged you around lunch time to let you know he’d forgotten the meal you’d prepped for him. Out of your two boyfriends, Joshua’s not the type to forget things, least of all lunch, and especially not on a day where he’s not completely overwhelmed by a case.

It would be as easy as anything for him to send Soonyoung out to grab him food, so the fact that he’s messaged you to ask you to come down to the office tells you there will be more to your lunchour than just being an errand girl.

You don’t mind taking a trip down to the lawfirm, and you adorn yourself in a cute dress Joshua always loves fucking you in. Your makeup is simple yet pretty, and you’re confident in yourself when you walk into the tall building your boyfriends work at.

It feels nice to get a few appreciative looks as you head through the lobby, and you even run into another attorney your boyfriend’s work with in the elevator. Seungcheol does his best not to look at your chest, but you catch his gaze dipping once or twice while you make simple conversation and explain to him that “Silly Joshie forgot his lunch” which is why you’re here to visit.

Seungcheol is even so nice as to walk you to Joshua’s office, and you can’t help but think it’s an excuse to look at your ass while you walk in front of him, side stepping litigation team members and waving to your acquaintance Vernon at his desk.  

When you reach Joshua’s luxurious corner office, you and Seungcheol are both a little shocked to find both of your boyfriends inside waiting for you. Joshua and Jeonghan look just as surprised to find Cheol as your escort.

“I uh, bumped into her in the elevator,” Seungcheol explains. “Wanted to make sure she found your office alright.”

You’re all aware that you’ve been here before, you know where your boyfriend’s office is, and Joshua cocks a brow at his friend. Instead of questioning Seungcheol’s motives, however, Joshua simply nods. “Thank you for showing her the way. Is that all?”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol coughs nervously, “I’ll see you both in the boardroom in an hour for our case debrief.”

“See you then,” Joshua confirms.

“Bye, Cheol,” Jeonghan lifts a few fingers to wave at his friend as he leaves you, shutting the office door firmly behind him. “Hi, gorgeous.”

“Hi, you two,” you laugh, practically skipping up to Joshua’s desk to set his lunch down and press a kiss to his lips. “Didn’t expect you both to be here.”

“Originally, I was going to try to get you alone,” Joshua admits, smiling down at you before his gaze shifts to Jeonghan. “But when he heard you were coming with lunch, he insisted on staying.”

“We all know you never ‘forget lunch,’ Joshie,” Jeonghan says simply. “I figured if there was a show going on in here, I’d want to see it. For a man who claims we’re the filthy ones, it’s awfully daring of you to invite our girlfriend to the firm to get your dick wet at lunchtime on a Tuesday.”

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[megumishotgf]

cabin holiday with bf! katsuki

summary: going on a cabin vacation with your pro-hero boyfriend, katsuki.

warnings: some nsfw content (like three sentences detailing sex) oopsie

masterlist

thinking about renting a cabin in the middle of nowhere with katsuki. he sustained a injury during a difficult mission a few weeks ago and the hero commission insisted he couldn’t come back yet. you know how damn impatient your boyfriend is - he is itching to get back to his job. he physically cannot function without a routine. staying in bed all day? not a chance in hell.

you suggest going away with katsuki for the final week of his time off. he agrees because what the hell else is he supposed to do with his time? also, he can’t say no to you. he feels like a fucking caveman for the first few days because there’s no internet. he’s always complaining.

“y/n, the hell did you bring me to this dump for?”

“you’re annoying. no, i’m not going to a damn spa!”

“there’s nothing to fucking do here. guess we’re going to have to fuck all day.”

but he settles in quickly. katuski is the perfect housewife. he cooks three meals a day for you, makes sure the fireplace is stocked on wood, makes sure the windows are closed so you don’t get those damn mosquitos inside… and, of course, he will act as if it’s the worst thing ever but he loves being able to take care of you. even if you insist it’s his time to rest, you know he hates being kept still and having nothing to do.

as katsu said, you have sex all the time. in front of the fireplace, in the shower, in the hot tub, on the kitchen counters… any surface there is, he wants you bent over it and begging for it.

on the second day, you decide to go on a hike around the cabin. you’re surrounded by tall forestland. the earthy air smells so good in places like this. you can hear birds singing sweet songs, branches crackling underneath your feet and… katsuki’s beautifully gruff voice. careful, dumb ass! do you want to fall over and die?

he’s concerned (terrified) that you’ll run into a bear but you tell him he’s just being silly. although if you were to encounter one, they would definitely feel threatened by your angry spiky-haired boyfriend who constantly looks like he’s about to throw hands.

remember the spa you mentioned? the one katsuki refused to go to? after some convincing and head he agrees to go. but never for a massage. he doesn’t want anyone’s damn hands on him but yours. you spend time in the sauna, the pool and finish the day with manicures. of course, katsuki gets one nail painted to match the pretty colour on yours. afterwards, you’re glowing radiantly and he can visibly see you more relaxed. he notes to agree next time you suggest having a spa day.

the next morning, it’s beautifully sunny. the weather is uplifting and you wake up earlier than usual to start your day, the golden hues all around the cabin making you feel energised. katsuki has already gotten up to do a quick work-out (he won’t listen to you when you reprimand him about his injury). you suggest going out for a bike ride to appreciate the beautiful day.

on your bike journey, you drive past a field full of flowers. there’s lawns of wild flowers growing and swaying gently in the wind. you’ll stop to collect some. katsuki will take one of the daisies you picked up and tuck it behind your ear. my pretty baby, he’ll call you. your heart swells at his softness. you love seeing this side of him. the special side reserved only for you to see.

on your final day, you and katsuki decide to stay in the cabin and relax. it’s colder today, despite the sunny weather you had just the day before. katsu makes you your favourite breakfast. yeah, yeah brat. i didn’t make this for you. but of course he did. he always makes sure you’re eating well. he can’t keep his hands off you normally, but today he seems to be unable to let go of you.

the day ends in fucking great sex. katsuki is so touchy today and makes you feel so loved and desired. he’s got his hands all over you, his cock making sure to hit all your favourite spots. after prepping you with his fingers and mouth, obviously. and he drags it on so long until you’re begging for him to get to it. but he just wants to savour you and this moment. you’re so pretty. his pretty girl.

he’ll end the day confessing he’s going to miss this. and it hits you then that’s why he’s being so touchy. you’ll make an ‘aw’ sound because your boyfriend is so freaking cute. he scoffs when you call him that, though. katsuki gets back to work shortly after you come home. he’ll think of the night you fucked in front of the fireplace often and it’ll get him so noticeably hard.

[ria-coolgirl]

When an alien loves an earth boy!✨

Chapter two

“Darling?”

Michael’s face turned light pink when he heard that nickname escaped David’s lips. This had to be a joke… right? There was no way that he could be married to this guy, he barely knew him and is now expected to marry him by a motorcycle race! This was happening too fast for him to process on what’s going on, too fast to get married to a guy who he just met!

At the same time, however he felt conflicted by the pet name he never in his life was given a pet name by someone let alone another man! Sure he has been called sweetie or honey, but only by his mother. How the heck was he supposed to react being called darling? His head was pounding like a bass drum, his vision became blurry, his body fell backwards as everything faded to black.

Sunlight pierce through his window as morning dawned through out his room. Michael yawned as he woke up, only to hear the sound of grandpa’s stereo changing to different stations and the smell of something delicious filling his nostrils. Putting his bedroom shoes on, he walked downstairs to hear a woman singing on the radio.

“Where the boys are, someone waits for me~”

“A smiling face, a warm embrace, two arms to hold me tenderly~”

He didn’t think everything of it. “It could’ve be mom cooking breakfast while listening to music.” He thought to himself as he walked towards the kitchen. Stepping into the kitchen to find not his mom, but David making blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. When he was done with making breakfast he placed three pancakes onto each other on a plate with the eggs and bacon on the side.

Puts the plate of food on the table while grabbing a bottle of maple syrup, placing it on the table and then pouring a cup of coffee. Humming a couple of notes of the song, David looks up and gently smiles at Michael. “Good morning.” Michael stood still across the hallway to the kitchen stunned. This has to be a dream, a very weird dream all he could remember was racing with David and his friends on Hudson’s bluff why on earth was he here?

“Best to play it cool” he thought as he stands in the kitchen hesitating rather to stay or to go back upstairs. “Come and eat, you must be hungry, darling and I don’t want you to start your day without breakfast” David says fondly tapping his index finger on a chair as way of saying to sit down. Michael hesitated for a moment before looking down at the food David made for him, it looked mouthwatering almost like a picture from a magazine he sat down in his chair and devoured his breakfast while giving David praise for his cooking.

“This is absolutely delicious!” “You did a great job, David.” It’s was more than just delicious it’s was heavenly, the pancakes were soft and fluffy, the eggs were scrambled perfectly with cheese on top and the bacon was crispy. Everything tasted so well made it felt like he was eating like a king! David chuckled as he rubs the back of his neck. “Aww, it was nothing” he blushes softly at the comment. “I’m just glad that you are enjoying your meal.” “You know, a good husband should always know how to cook for his partner, darling.”

Wait-husband?!! Michael nearly choked on his coffee after hearing that. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you this, but you ended up passing out last night.” “You see, I’m not really human I’m actually a alien from the planet mercury and that race we had last night was actually a marriage proposal on my planet and that you and me are now married, isn’t that wonderful?” David smiles warmly at Michael, who in turn grabs his jacket collar with a look that could kill. How was this wonderful?!? Michael was fuming with anger he would rather jump off a bridge than get married to an alien!

David still smiling “Now, darling it’s rude to be mad at your future husband.” Before Michael had a chance to tell him off, both heard chuckling from the other side of the room. “Aww look, the lovebirds are having their first fight.” Marko cooed “Is it too early in the morning to be fighting with your husband, David?” Says Dwayne with a smirk on his face. Both boys blush at their teasing, but more so of Michael being embarrassed. “His not my husband… well not yet anyway, we haven’t been on our first date yet!” He blushes at thought of him and Michael going on dates together.

Soon enough Paul, Star, laddie, Lucy and Sam come downstairs to check what was the fuss about. After everyone had breakfast they explained everything to Lucy and Sam that they were aliens and Michael and David were now married. Lucy was a bit concerned about him and David getting married so soon and not really knowing each other. “Don’t worry, Ms. Emerson we’re not gonna get married right now we’ll be going on dates first before we get married.” David explained. After hearing that she was happy for Michael and David.

On the other hand, however Sam found this situation hilarious! “You’re getting married to a Martian!” He laughs hysterically as Michael’s face turned red shouting. “Shut up Sam!” He got up from his chair in frustration and walked up to Star and took her hand to the counter of the kitchen to talk. “Star, not to said rude but I don’t want to marry David.” “Oh come on, Michael give him a chance besides he really likes you!” She smiled at him. “Well I don’t.” He says seriously. Star raised a brow in confusion.

“Why, is it because he’s a man?” Michael’s eyes widened by star’s question. “What, no.” “Is it cause we’re aliens?” “No, well kinda.” “Then what?” She asked crossing her arms towards her chest. “I barely know him.” He says in a whisper. “You’re get to know him better when you ask him on a date.” “What?” He shouts quietly. “You hear me, ask. him. on. a. date.” Before he could say no, Star turned his body around to where David was standing next to the kitchen table and pushed him toward him. Michael looked back at Star in fear. “Go ahead.” She whispered giving him a thumbs up.

Michael cleared his throat and tapped David on his shoulder. “Um, David?” “Yes, darling?” David turns his attention toward Michael. “I was wondering if you were like to go out with me tonight?” Go out? Like go outside, David tilted his head slightly like a confused puppy. “Go out?” “Go out like a date… me.” “You serious?” David asked walking closer towards him. “Yes.” Michael says with a shaky smile while taking a step back from David. “With me?” “Absolutely.” David’s eyes gleamed, his lips crawled up into a smile beaming with joy.

“YES!!” He shouted, giving Michael a tight hug as him and Michael floated around the room. He was on cloud nine, he was going on a date with darling it felt like a dream come true! Soon, their hold hands, go on more dates, share their first kiss and- DAVID! The sound pierced through David ears as he looked at darling. “Not under certain conditions we’re not!”

“Conditions?”

This will be interesting!

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[whumpzone]

Linden & Colton - 28

(masterlist)

CW: pet whump, dissociation, panic attacks, talk of noncon and sexual abuse

-

Linden made sure the newspaper was between him and Col, dividing the two and their respective bowls of cereal. There were days where Linden felt he couldn’t be bothered with breakfast, but Col deserved three meals a day, so he made sure to set a precedent.

I suppose I deserve three meals a day too, he thought with a trace of humour.

The newspaper was a small but important barrier, along with the cereal box, and a pine-scented candle. It was never lit- Linden didn’t want Col to know where the matches were kept- but its pleasant aroma was still there. Linden was sure the barriers were mostly of psychological comfort, but he had noticed the way Col relaxed with them. It didn’t look quite as easy to reach out and grab. Given his wrist scars, Linden imagined that Col had spent a lot of his time strung up, open and completely defenceless. Every layer of clothing, every object, even the table itself, it all kept him away and separate. Like he was his own person, his own body. He'd been planted in his own patch of earth, and he could grow in any direction he wanted.

Vik would call it all overthinking, but it came to Linden so naturally these days.

This morning, Col was trying out his new cutlery. Linden had gone online and found a set of accessible forks, knives, teaspoons and tablespoons, all built with incredibly thick tactile handles.  Linden had chosen the green set. He had weighed up asking Col to choose, but he thought it would be better to keep them as a nice surprise.

Breakfast was also a good time to see if it was going to be a talkative day or not. “See how you get on with your new spoon, Col,” Linden encouraged, picking up his own as he spoke.

Col did one of his almost-smiles, where although his lips didn’t quite turn up enough, the heaviness on his face lifted.

“Thank you again, Sir, really…”

“Aw, well, you’re welcome,” Linden returned Col’s smile tenfold.

Col picked the spoon up and his eyes widened. “It’s so much easier, Sir.”

“Yeah?”

Col scooped up some cereal with ease and marvelled at it.

“Yeah. Thank you,” he said, meeting Linden’s eye. “Please may I keep using it?”

“Yes, yes of course, they’re for you from now on. I have big and little spoons, knives, and forks.”

Col’s eyes widened even more. “Wow, I… how can I earn all this, Sir?”

“You don’t have to. These are just to make your life easier.”

“But I haven’t done anything to… is there something you want me to do that involves these?”

“No, Col, honestly,” Linden said, still smiling, trying to keep it light as always, “They’re just for the simple but important task of eating your food. Your hands are always improving, but these will help while they’re still fragile.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Col said, almost tripping over his words to get his point across. Linden just waved at his breakfast with a limp-wristed hand.

“You’re welcome, sweet, now you can enjoy your cereal. I’m gonna do the same.”

. . .

After breakfast, after Col had prostrated himself in thanks for the new cutlery, which Linden had handled with barely any trace of awkwardness, the two moved to the living room. It seemed like it was going to be a talkative day, and Linden wanted to keep the momentum going. It was raining- the kind of harmless rain that nevertheless drove people inside. The kind that came from all directions like a mist and soaked you to the bone.

Linden was crocheting a new cardigan, and Col’s job was to hold the ball of wool and unroll it in even increments, making sure Linden never went without. It was the perfect light test of dexterity, with something soft and harmless. The only vaguely weapon-like thing involved was the crocheting hook, which was far too busy looping and stitching and working away.

“How would you feel about another walk, soonish?”

Linden waited for Col’s response before he clarified what soonish meant. It could mean today, if Col seemed willing, or it could mean in the next week, or month.

“Um,” Col started hesitantly, staring at the floor, “Would you please keep me on- on a short leash? If it isn’t too much trouble, Sir?”

“Would that make you feel safer?” Linden asked, and when Col nodded, he said, “Can I ask why?”

Linden knew this was something that would need to be worked around, not avoided, but it could be like the cutlery. If Linden could find the right tools to make it easier, then Col would be able to finally get some regular exercise.

“It’s st-stupid, Sir, I’m sorry for saying anything.”

“It’s not stupid. I want- it’s important for you to feel safe when we next go outside. I promise I wouldn’t ever use it against you.”

This seemed to get through to Col, a little bit. He gently squeezed the ball of wool as he found the words.

“I’m worried about seeing… seeing some people.”

Linden stayed quiet.

“Not my old Master, he’s- he’s dead, Sir.”

“Okay,” Linden murmured. He knew that already, from when Vik had told him, but it was good to finally hear it from Col. He was more than a little curious about the specifics of that, but it could wait.

“My old Master had all his friends ‘round, sometimes,” he started.

What followed was a very long pause. Col was still looking at the floor, but his eyes started to take on the unfocused, hazy appearance they had a handful of times before. Linden knew his consciousness was stepping away from the here and now, drifting like seaweed, hopeless against the syrupy pull of the ocean. He was being taken back and it was tumbling him like a breaking wave, crushing him against all the days and times and moments. Linden was watching him drown.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, and, mercifully, Col took a breath.

“He had his friends ‘round and they all- they all- they all fucked me.”

“Jesus. Oh, god, Col. Oh my god.”

Col wasn’t kneeling: his legs were tucked up against his chest, and his arms were folded over them like a hug. Linden quietly lowered himself onto the floor and mirrored him. When Linden next took a breath, it was shaky with horror.

“You know I would never do that to you? Ever.”

“Yes, Sir,” Col mumbled out, because he had to. Linden could tell he didn’t believe him.

“No, I mean it.” Col immediately looked up, a half-second away from begging that he wasn’t defying him, but Linden pressed on before he could. “I would never do that. I can’t. I don’t have an interest in sex. And while I would never do it regardless… what’s most important is that it can never happen.”

“You don’t have an interest, Sir? You don’t like it?”

“Exactly. I should have made this clear much sooner.”

Col lowered his head to brush the top of his knees, hiding his expression. “My old Master didn’t get involved when his friends came.”

It showed an incredible amount of trust that Col could say that- because what he wanted to say was are you going to do that? Could that be your work-around? Am I still in danger?

Linden remembered when Col had tried to offer him a sexual favour, back when he’d just arrived. Linden had been disgusted to find out that that had been part of the tapestry of abuse Col had endured, but he now realised quite how prolific it had been. It had been so much worse than he’d realised.

“That is fucking evil. Evil. Seeing that done to you would make me sick, Col. How can I explain… seeing something like that happen can damage a person. Even seeing it, yeah, Col? It isn’t normal. Not even close to normal.”

“So it… it wouldn’t please you, Sir?”

“Col, you poor thing. It would do the opposite. I don’t have an interest in sex, and that’s quite a neutral feeling. But seeing you get gangraped? I need you to understand that I would physically be sick. Normal human beings do not do things like that.”

“They don’t? Most people, th-they, it’s not f-fun for them?”

“Exactly. It’s not fun for Vik either.”

“Are- Are you sure? I’m sorry, I mean, I do believe you Sir, I just…”

“No, it’s okay. I promise. It’s okay to be unsure. You spent so long not receiving any kindness at all. Your old owner was a very wicked man.”

Col slid his arms from his legs, folding them against his chest, pressing his hands to his beating heart. His breathing was starting to speed up.

“Sir, that word you used…”

“Which one?”

“Raped. Is that… is that what happened to me?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry, Col.”

“But I was always just- it was always after I’d been really bad. It was just another lesson, that’s what I was told.”

“That doesn’t change it. That was wrong. I don’t care what you’d done. You never deserved that.”

“But I- but I- but, oh, oh god, oh god-“

Col’s breaths were now short and staccato gasps, barely able to get his words out around them. He pressed his hands into his face.

“No, no, it was just a lesson, just, just, a-a-and I always tried so hard,” he moaned as he began to sob. His chest heaved thunderously around his failing lungs, unable to keep up against the force of the panic attack.

Linden’s mind went white as Col wailed. Should he hold him? Leave? Speak to him?

Slowly, he reached out a hand, letting it rest on Col’s shoulder. Col wrenched a scarred, crooked hand away from his face and grabbed onto Linden’s wrist.  

“It wasn’t your fault,” he murmured. “And I’m here.”

“Don’t leave me, please,” Col wept. His crying was open-mouthed and wretched; Linden had never heard something so grief-stricken before. Col’s entire body was shaking from the force of it. It was a terrible sight, seeing him in so much agony.

Linden moved a little closer, gently rocking them both back and forth. Col turned his face down, pressing it against his shoulder, where Linden’s fingers made divots in his cheek. Linden could feel Col’s tears soaking into his skin.

“I’m right here,” he said, trying to breathe slowly and deliberately, but not expecting Col to copy him. Not expecting a single thing from the breathless young man curled up and crying against him, whose pain Linden couldn’t ever understand.

No wonder Col had been so terrified last time they stepped outside. He was living in fear of running into his rapists. Plural. Linden felt sick.

It wasn’t something he could produce a simple fix to, either. But Linden would do what he could. Ideas were already whirring through his mind.

Col sobbed until there were two rashes streaming down from each eye. Until his nose and cheeks and scleras were red. He eventually allowed Linden to support his arms and coax him onto the sofa- the first time he had ever let himself onto the furniture- where he fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

Linden covered him with a blanket and kept his promise not to leave him.  

-

taglist part 1:

@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captain-seconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonwardsworld @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @the-monarch-whumperfly @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread @vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate @littlespacecastle @haro-whumps @extrabitterbrain @neverthelass @downrivergirl914

[kry3talline]

🕸️🕷️WIEAD:Day Three(?)🕷️🕸️

As always, ⚠️ TW ⚠️.

Daily Weigh in: ✨ 🎉 48.4 kg 🎉 ✨

Goal weight number one has officially been met 😏.

Breakfast:

-1 serving homemade quiche (serves 6) 4 large eggs: ~280 calories

2. 3/4 cup low-fat milk (180ml): ~90 calories

3. 3/4 cup fat-free cottage cheese (180g): ~120 calories

4. 1 cup mixed broccoli/cauliflower (150g): ~50 calories

5. 4 mini snack-sized bell peppers (~120g): ~40 calories

6. 1/2 cup diced onions (~80g): ~30 calories

7. 1/2 cup sliced cherry tomatoes (~100g): ~18 calories

8. 1 teaspoon olive oil (for greasing): ~40 calories

9. Seasonings (salt, pepper, Vegeta, parsley, dill): ~5 calories

- 1 cucumber

-Berry Bowl (palmful of blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries).

-Two handfuls green sour grapes

-One handful black grapes

Lunch-

-One serving homemade quiche

-Four teaspoons boiled broccoli

-Palm-sized tilapia fillet

-One handful salad (dressed with balsamic vinegar and feta cheese)

DINNER 💀

Alright…I’m not sure what the hell went wrong here. I was never supposed to eat dinner (I usually don’t;intermittent fasting from noon until eight AM). However, my parents essentially forced me to sit down…and I got so upset by the prospect of having to eat in the first place I fucked up.

It wasn’t a binge by definition;I essentially had my usual salad (I added olive oil and lemon vinaigrette because I was in the first stages of the “fuck it” mindset),alongside a handful of broccoli, a few teaspoons kimchi…but I made the mistake of having some food WHILE preparing my food 🤡 (Lesson learned:Stop doing that).So…I put a small serving of quiche on my plate, but I had some beforehand..I also added a cutlet and had some tilapia as well, and then I had two crab sticks, and for “desert” Ihad some cottage cheese with quite a bit of pineapple and the fucking nuts 💀. I swear to god, even though I did WAY better than usual, I’m throwing out all the damn pistachios, almonds, and granola in the house (no one eats it besides me anyway,and it’s just sitting there-) Now, interestingly, I rarely binge on junk;usually, it starts off as a “healthy” meal, and here’s how it typically goes:

-Adds extras, such as cottage cheese, dips/additives (pesto,hummus, etc.),crab sticks.

-Adds nuts

-More nuts

-Adds cheeses

-Adds honey/sweets

-Peanut butter packets

Now, this time I was able to stop during the second stage, so…yay, ig?

Anywho, I threw out all the PB in the house after Christmas Eve 🤡, so I wouldn’t be able to have it even if I wanted to (neither of my parents eat it. I think they forgot we even had it).

So, in retrospect, I think I had this binge (I’m gonna call it that, even though it doesn’t even compare to what I usually do during a binge) was because of feelings of disappointment , combined with boredom, and “validation” (my parents were eating too)…as well as guilt for not working out,even though it’s technically my rest day. When I checked the scale (yes, I weigh myself after eating 🤡. I don’t recommend this habit), it was 51.7 kg…but then I took a fat piss, went on a walk, and decided to complete two full body strength training vids (not much but it’s smth I guess), so it’s 49.9 kg now..my guess is tomorrow it will be like 49-49.5, which isn’t BAD in itself…but right after I surpassed my first GW is just, wow 💀. Good job, me. Real smooth.

Overall,today wasn’t horrible, but I’ll give it a rating of like 5/10. If it weren’t for fucking dinner it would be an 8/10 🥰. On the bright side, I got my protein in, so…yay? Anywho, I think I ate around maintenance, maybe 500 or so cals above it today 💀. So, I’m going to go lighter for tommorow, maybe skip or delay breakfast to prolong fasting if possible. If not, here’s my plan:

Breakfast (I’m so tired I literally just copy pasted it from ChatGPT lol)

1. Three Boiled Egg Whites: ~51 calories

2. Smaller Tilapia Portion (60g): ~70 calories

3. 1/2 Cup Boiled Broccoli (75g): ~28 calories

4. Two Peeled Cucumbers: ~45 calories

5. 1/2 Cup Kimchi (~75g): ~15 calories

6. 1/2 Cup Raspberries (~65g): ~32 calories

Lunch: 1. 1 Ladle Homemade Borscht (~150ml): ~50 calories

2. Handful Salad (~50g): ~15 calories

• Includes kale, cucumber, tomato, lettuce, bell peppers, radish, celery, and green onion.

3. 1 tsp Balsamic Vinegar: ~5 calories

4. 1/4 Cup Buckwheat (Cooked): ~43 calories

5. 1 Tilapia Fillet (~85g): ~110 calories

6. 1 Cup Boiled Broccoli (~150g): ~55 calories

7. 1/2 Cup Kimchi (~75g): ~15 calories

8. 1/4 Cup Cottage Cheese (~60g): ~50 calories

9. 1/4 Cup Raspberries (~30g): ~15 calories

I may make a few tweaks, but I’ll try to stick to it;hell, I’ll finally start taking pictures of the meals in order to take full accountability, as well as counting every.damn.calorie. That goes into me. I WILL get to my UGW,no matter what.

Have a good night,lovelies 🥰

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Carla Ecstasy [08]

ー The scene starts in Carla’s room

Carla: ...

Yui: ( ...Seems like he finally fell asleep. )

( Carla-san’s illness actually got worse without me realizing... )

( You think it has calmed down, but the next momennt he gets a really bad attack, so I can’t take my eyes off him. )

( Carla-san... )

*Knock knock*

ー Shin enters the room

Shin: ...Yui. One second.

Yui: ...?

ー The scene shifts to the saloon

Yui: Yes, Shin-kun?

Shin: ...You should get some rest already. 

Yui: Eh...?

Shin: Do you have any idea how much time you’ve spent glued to his side?

At this rate, you’ll collapse. You haven’t been eating properly either, have you?

Yui: I’ve been getting proper meals and sleep. 

Shin: Liar. Then why are you as white as a sheet? Sleep in your own room for once. 

Yui: ...I swear, I’m fine. I actually wouldn’t be able to sleep nor eat if I were separated from Carla-san.

Shin: ...

Yui: I’m sorry. I have to return to Carla-san.

ー The scene shifts back to Carla’s room

Carla: Ugh...

Yui: ...! Carla-san...!

( Another flare-up...The intervals between them keep getting shorter it seems... )

Carla: Uu...Ah...

Yui: Please take slow breaths. I’ll wipe off your sweat right now. 

Carla: Kuh...Uu...Yui...

Yui: Don’t worry, I’m right here. By your side...!

Carla: Uguh...Uu...!

Yui: Carla-san...!!

( These are the final stage symptoms of Endzeit... )

( I’d love to swap places with him, but that’s impossible. )

( All I can do is keep him company and take care of him to the best of my ability... )

( Is there nothing else I can doーー? )

ー The scene shifts to the outside of Banmaden

Male Ghoul A: Hey, have you heard? Apparently the Founder King’s illness took a turn for the worse. 

Male Ghoul B: For real...? Then what are we supposed to do if the enemy attacks now?

Male Ghoul C: But we formed an alliance with the Vibora using that girl, right? Then we should be fine...

Male Ghoul B: We can’t know for sure, can we? The Vibora Clan might change their mind if they hear that the Founder King isn’t doing so well!

ー Kino walks up to them

Kino: Time-out, stop right there. I don’t think you need to worry about the Vibora.

I doubt they will disregard Eve’s lineage. 

Male Ghoul B: But what will happen to Banmaden...and our lives here?

Kino: Don’t worry. I’m right here, remember? 

I’ve always done a fine job as you guys’ leader, haven’t I? Just leave it to me.

Male Ghoul A: ...Right. We have you backing us up, Kino-sama.

Male Ghoul C: We’re counting on you, Kino-sama!

Male Ghoul B: You’re our only hope!! Please help us!

Kino: Yeah, of course. I’ve taken you guys in after all. You can rest easy.

( Heh. The Founder King’s reputation has hit rock bottom. )

( I have to show everyone who is truly deserves to govern the Demon World, don’t I? )

ー The scene shifts to the saloon

*Thud* 

Yui: Shin-kun! Is it true that we received a letter from the Vibora Clan!?

Shin: Yeah. It’s this one.

*Flip* 

Yui: What does it say?

Shin: Well...

Yui: ...Is it bad news, perhaps? Like they’re turning down the alliance.

Shin: No. It says that they agree to the alliance. ーー However...They want us to hand you over in return.

Yui: Eh...?

( In other words, I have to go to the Vibora. )

( It only makes sense since I said that it’d offer myself as a means of negotiation. )

( But now that his illness has actually gotten worse, I don’t want to leave Carla-san’s side... )

Hey, Shin-kun. Can our answer wait a little?

Shin: Nah, that won’t work.

Yui: What do you mean? Is that one of their conditions? 

Shin: Well, I guess you could say that. It says that if you don’t make it there in three days, they’ll attack us.

Yui: Three days...

Shin: It’ll take two days to get to their Castle. We have to leave pretty much right away or we won’t make it on time. 

Yui: No way...

( What to doーー )

ー The scene shifts to Carla’s room

Carla: ...So what are you hesitating for?

Yui: Well...

Carla: You decided that you would go yourself, did you not? ...Then you should go.

Selection

→ But...

Yui: But...I cannot leave your side right now.

You are suffering so much. I want to be here to take care of you at the very least...!

Carla: ...Is that your only reason?

Yui: ...? What do you mean?

Carla: I just want to know whether you are perhaps using me as an excuse.

Yui: Wellーー

( I’m not, but... )

Carla: You made this offer yourself, did you not? Then should you not see it through till the very end?

Yui: ...

( If I don’t go, Banmaden will become a battle fieldーー )

Yui: ...Okay, I’ll go.

→ Okay... (❦)

Yui: ...Okay. I’ll go.

→ I shall keep my word.

Carla: Heh...That is for the best. The Founder King’s woman should be brave like that.

Yui: ( I honestly don’t want to leave Carla-san in his current condition. )

( But I decided that I would serve as negotiation material, so I can’t suddenly say that I don’t want to go now... )

Monologue

By becoming a means to form an alliance,

I will have to offer myself to them.

I should have been well aware of that.

but it pains me very much to have to leave Carla-san’s side now that he is bedridden. 

Once the Ghouls found out about my departure,

they realize it meant they would not have to fight as they threw their arms into the air and rejoiced.

They did not seem worried about Carla-san’s symptoms,

but rather were only cornerned,

about whether or not it would directly impact them.

That was the only thing which bothered me. 

Especially after Carla-san,

had showed so much care towards them as his people. 

While being a King (王という立場) may seem as if it allows you to receive a favorable treatment,

I began to realize more and more just how rigorous (過酷) of a position it isーー 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[honeydots]

"You could have died, you know." Kaze & Saizo, 752 words twitter request, from this ask game

Kaze sits beside Saizo at the base of a collection of small jade springs, gently flowing in from a nearby creek. It’s a cool fall day in Hoshido, the air crisp with red leaves wafting through, all settling onto the water’s still surface. They’re alone, and Kaze is breezily enjoying the company of his brother.

Together, they’re eating very fine cuts of fish that were a gift to Saizo after he aided a fisherman’s voyage. A three-day trip, sailing into foul weather that left Kaze frowning at the gray sea until the ship was in his sights again. They all came back in one piece, their vessel just slightly worse for wear, and the rewards were generous.

Though, Kaze has his doubts. “I’m surprised you took on that job,” he says, watching a leaf drift down to its watery peace. Saizo doesn’t usually extend himself far outside of the palace, and certainly not for strangers. “You could’ve died, you know, in a storm such as that.”

Saizo, who tends to frown even if he doesn’t intend to, frowns even more. “I wouldn’t have.”

“Ah,” Kaze says with an inhale. “Overconfidence is the first step to under-performance.”

Saizo doesn’t reply, only takes another bite of his hard-earned fish. Kaze doesn’t comment any more either, deciding to simply take in the incoming evening. Hoshido is quite refreshing this time of year, the blistering summer heat coming down to a tolerable haze of cool northern winds and morning frosts.

The change of weather, of course, also comes with a change of patterns. The storm Saizo faced was predictable for this time of year—just because the summer monsoons are over doesn’t make other torrents any less difficult to navigate. The sky isn’t clear now, even. Though Kaze doesn’t suspect rain until the nighttime.

Saizo exhales. He’s never been one to be uncomfortable in the quiet, often initiating it himself. But perhaps he is one to know when he’s left something quite unanswered.

“The boat owner,” Saizo begins, piece of fish finished and now folding his arms, “he’s from Igasato.”

“Is he really?” Saizo gives a short hum. Kaze had no idea. He glances down at their meal, and finds he might be enjoying it a little more. Perhaps it tastes more like home. Though he may be imagining that, as well.

Still, Kaze takes another bite, and if nothing else appreciates to know more about who provided it for him. It can be nice to know who’s hands went into the work, even from such a distance. To give him a chance to admire the effort which was made.

“Is that why you helped, then?” Kaze asks, and Saizo lets out a gruff sigh of air.

“I suppose.”

Kaze smiles. “Good on you,” he says warmly. Saizo shakes his head, but Kaze’s being quite genuine. “Truly. I’m glad to see you engage with our people.”

Saizo glances down at the rest of their food—piled neatly in a picnic basket, fondly packed with rice and squash blossoms—and takes another piece of fish. He still pauses, not eating yet, mouth pressed in a firm line.

“…To watch Lord Ryoma lead Hoshido has—brought some enlightenment to me,” Saizo begins, voice low. “His leadership is boasted from both above and beside his people. I voiced my critique at first. However… Results have left me to think there might be sound reasoning behind it.”

Kaze can’t help but grin at the sentiment, watching as Saizo takes an all too irritated bite. It’s his own way of enjoying a meal, Kaze supposes. Even if Saizo might benefit from savoring it more. Sighing into himself, Kaze shuts his eyes briefly.

“I almost feel you’ve gotten softer, now that the war years have past,” he says, and hears as Saizo huffs to himself.

“If Lord Ryoma wishes for peacetime, I’m in no position to deny him precisely that.”

Kaze nods. “If you’re able to find any more of your own peace, brother, I hope you won’t deny it either.”

Saizo only sighs, and continues to eat as if Kaze didn’t say anything. And Kaze, too, lets the silence sit between them, tranquil and comfortable.

He wishes only that he had the foresight to bring tea. But the stillness of the moment is enough to keep Kaze quite satisfied anyway. With hope, there will be many more autumns to come, just like this.

They fought for it, after all. Basking in the peace they founded is the natural way to follow.

[limjaeseven]

Antidote

Pairing: Jaebeom X Mark / Jaebeom X Youngjae

Genre: Angst, Romance

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1,362

Summary: Things haven't been looking up for Jaebeom for for god knows how long. Mark was the one person who was supposed to make things better, but there was a limit even to that.

Warning(s): Mental breakdowns, self neglect

[a/n]: So I haven't posted anything in ages even though I have nearly 20 fics piled up from the past two years. I'm finally taking the initiative to post them (fingers crossed). This fic was originally written for the kpop bingo collab which closed a while back but here it is anyways. I hope you enjoy!

Jaebeom didn’t know when it went from just a bad day every now and then to struggling to get out of bed every morning. Things were going fine, and the next thing he knew, they weren’t.

Coming home to his boyfriend Mark used to be his favourite part of the day, but their small quarrels had become fights that left them not sharing a word for days. Jaebeom didn’t have the energy to keep the distance but Mark drew his lines thick and deep, and Jaebeom couldn’t cross them till his boyfriend let him.

Work went from good to alright to a struggle gradually enough that Jaebeom didn’t even realise he was spending one, two, three more hours at work every night. Every day there would be too many files to go through, too many calls to make, too many meetings to attend, too much to do. The stress was making his hair fall out but he just kept going, hoping that just after this project, the next project, the project after that, things would get better.

His steps went from confident and fast paced to dragging, every movement a struggle against his body telling him to stop, to catch a break, to just give everything up.

“So you’re taking the day off for our anniversary, no?” Mark asked from across the dinner table. They had just gotten out of their last fight which consisted of doors slammed in each other’s faces, leaving late at night and coming back early in the morning without informing the other, and a week of eating meals seperately.

“I told you, I really can’t. This client is too important.” Jaebeom knew that the respite from the fight was short, that they would go back to doing what they were doing by midnight.

Mark sighed, frustrated. “I never ask you for anything, Jaebeom. I just want us to spend one day together. It’s our fifth anniversary, doesn’t that mean something to you?”

Nearly on the verge of tears, Jaebeom tried to hold himself together as he spoke. “I know hyung,” Jaebeom knew him using honorifics on the older would relay to him how serious he was, “But there’s nothing I can do. Even if I asked for a holiday my boss would reject it. I can’t lose this job, it’s everything I have. You know how much I love you but I just can’t do this for you. We can plan something for the weekend after, maybe?”

Mark looked conflicted, understanding his boyfriend on an intellectual level but the primal part of him hurt and torn apart, that his lover couldn’t spare him one day when it mattered the most.

“We both know that you’ll be busy on the weekend too, you don’t have time for me anymore. Not talking to you when you’re home is futile because you never even are. I know your job is hectic and meaningful to you, Jaebeom, but I need to see you, spend time with you, talk to you to be able to be with you. If I’m just seeing you twice a week in our home and we’re fighting for most of it, there’s no point in us going on like this.”

Jaebeom knew what those words meant but he couldn’t accept it. There was no way Mark was implying that, was there? He wouldn’t ever think of such a thing, would he? Mark had been his better half for as long as he could remember. They were practically married, they were ride or die, right?

The world came closing around Jaebeom and he couldn’t hold onto anything by the time he realised. His body shook and his throat closed. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear. He was trapped and he didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know how long he sat on the floor of their kitchen, curled in foetal position, with Mark trying to get his breathing to even out. Jaebeom hadn’t had a panic attack in years and it scared both of them.

“Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go,” Jaebeom mumbled over and over again, hands clutching tightly at Mark’s sides. He could see the tears streaming down his lover’s face, and he knew what the expression on his face meant. He knew it was the end and he didn’t know what to do but cry.

Mark left a week later. Jaebeom had just returned from work and he saw the suitcases sitting in the living room. He knew this day was coming for a while, but he still hadn’t entirely processed it. They had spent every evening after that night together, a respectable distance between them as Mark spoke about the end. He wasn’t one to sugar coat, he wouldn’t talk about his day at work and pretend like they weren’t ending the relationship they built brick by brick.

He had stayed a few days longer just to make sure Jaebeom was okay, because even though they weren’t right for each other anymore, Mark still loved him. Still, saying goodbye wasn’t any easier. They hugged each other for what felt like hours, crying quietly into each other’s arms, till Mark had to pull away, his best friend at the door to help him out.

Jaebeom crumbled to the floor the moment the door closed. He slept there that night, waking up well into the afternoon. Emailing his boss an apology, who let him take the rest of the day off, he got to tidying up his house, trying not to cry every time he saw the empty spots where Mark’s things sat.

He knew he should have tried harder, but it was as if his body was working on autopilot and he was just going along on the ride. He knew Mark had every right to leave, that it had been building up for a long time, but it didn’t hurt any less. Jaebeom cried more times that day than he probably had in all of his life.

It was less that two weeks later that he collapsed at work and had to be taken to the hospital. Jaebeom hadn’t been eating, he barely had anything more than coffee to keep himself up and running. His body had finally given in and it took him nearly two days to get back to consciousness. The nurse who looked after him was a woman about his mother’s age, who chided him for being so careless, and convinced him to try therapy out.

Reluctantly, Jaebeom made a visit to the psychiatrist in the hospital where he was admitted, and he had to admit, just talking about what he was going through to someone helped. After he was discharged, he came back once a week, poured his heart out and listened carefully. They put him on some medication and slowly the dark clouds thinned out, sunlight peaking through the cracks.

After one of the sessions, Jaebeom found a man a few years younger than him sitting in the waiting room outside his psychiatrist’s office. He was undeniable pretty, Jaebeom thought, shooting him a quick smile before leaving.

As the weeks passed, he saw the boy over and over again, and they went from friendly waves to small talk between their sessions. Jaebeom found out that the man’s name was Choi Youngjae, that he was only two years younger than him and worked as a piano teacher.

“Hyung, do you want to meet up sometime?” Youngjae asked Jaebeom when the older let him know that his psychiatrist told him he had recovered enough for them to stop the sessions.

Smiling, Jaebeom pulled his phone out and handed it to Youngjae, “I would love to.” He didn’t know if it was too soon, but the way the younger man’s smile lit up his world every time they spoke, he was willing to give it a shot.

[cagesings]

@heygutlcss / riff sent: “ i love you. i’m sorry. ”

she doesn't want to talk to him. it seems whenever they fight, everyone else on the farm picks up on it. people noticed when riff didn't show up for any of the meals for three days straight, even though she avoided any and all questions about it ( it was rare to see the two of them separated; even rarer for mrs. mclellan not to be seen sitting next to her husband during meals, knees brushing under the table or gripping at his hands on the days she looked paler ). earlier, johanna went as far as to snap at lucille for not keeping up with her. if there was one person she never tried to get irritated with, it was lucille who was hardly more than a child. whatever happened, it was worse than the previous times. it was worse than the morning after their wedding night.

avoiding her husband was more difficult than she thought it would be. when he disappeared for those three days, it was him avoiding her. johanna doesn't know going into town alone and despite being the main caretaker of their finances, couldn't bare to spend any of it on an inn. not when they were saving up for a house. both of them are stubborn people. trying to out stubborn the other was like a dog trying to chase it's tail. unlike that dog, they caught up to each other eventually. johanna made him talk about what happened with uncle at some point. riff brought her to a hospital at some point. but they never had an argument like that before. johanna can't remember a single time where she had raised her voice before that. they fought before. over her desire to get a job, over each other's respective health, over the morning after a night that was soft and sweet and the sudden swift in tone afterwards. never a fight like that.

they knew exactly how to hurt each other. they've lived with each other long enough and their names have been on that marriage certificate for enough time that they know exactly what's considered off limits and what's eating the other alive. part of this aching, johanna thinks to herself, is exactly how they've stung each other. she never meant to bring up the judge in comparison to him. she never wanted to confront the ways she's broken so verbally. despite all of the wedding anniversaries that they've celebrated together, the memories associated with being called mine blocked out everything else. johanna didn't want to try to explain herself in words they both understood. she yelled and she hurt him.

he hurt her, too.

she wants to stay hidden where she is. cheek pressed against the wood of the barn. wedding ring ( the one he made from his spoon when they were at the church ), in her lap, two fingers preventing it from falling onto the dirt floor. head swirling with thoughts of how possessive her husband could be and how much she misses him. at the sound of his voice, johanna forces herself not to look at him. she can see riff out of the corner of her eye; not nearly well enough to read his expression, only to tense as if he's come back just to throw another hurtful thing in her face and leave.

he doesn't.

johanna lifts a hand to wipe away a tear.

❝ can you say that? ❞ how else am i supposed to say i love you? what she called possessiveness, he called love. she takes a quivering breath. ❝ can you say that instead of . . . ❞ they both know what she's talking about. instead of calling me "mine." ❝ can we just tell each other that we love them? ❞ as if they were a more normal couple. as if they haven't been through everything that they have. ❝ i love you. i couldn't even go that far from you. i've just been waiting . . . ❞ she doesn't bother to wipe away any more of her tears as she looks back at him. to see the hurt in his expression. ❝ i'm sorry. i said horrible things. i'm sorry. ❞

[slowing-down-in-style]

I cried this morning over the fact that the time I have with the four crows I’ve befriended is limited. (I’d have cried anyways but there’s some other stuff going on that may have increased the chances of it happening when it did. More on that in a second.) I’ve wanted to befriend crows for years, and here at this job I finally got to do that. Not that I can’t befriend more crows someplace else… but I’m still sad that this connection with these four is coming to a close. I’m unbelievably happy I was able to form a companionship with them at all.

They are so intelligent. They are so curious. I’m really going to miss them.

So about that other stuff…. I’ve dropped the ball with my mental health and I’m only just now realizing the consequences of that, thanks to my therapist. I’ve been really bad about taking my medication (Wellbutrin) when I’m supposed to at a standard interval every day, for the last few months. Sometimes i’ve been taking it every other day. Every two days. Every three days. Then long stretches without it and then a dose for a few days and back off again. I let my forgetfulness win. I didn’t lean on the people in my support system to help me. I messed up. Plain and simple. So now I’m aware and going to try to get back on track.

I’m stopping the 300mg dosage. I can’t just jump back in at that dose. I contacted my doctor about restarting at a low dosage. I’ll need her to prescribe it to me. I can’t just cut what I have in half, thanks to the slow release coating on it. Anyways. Here’s to getting back on track.

I’m kicking myself a bit. This is likely going to make for a very emotional rollercoaster as I fight against that AND impostor syndrome while starting a new job, in management no less. I’ve got to keep my head on straight. Ask for help when I need it. Lean on Chris when appropriate. And push forward through this.

Now that I’m aware of the problem I caused, I’m so much more aware of the fallout I’ve been experiencing. At least I’m armed with knowledge now. I just hope I didn’t do any long lasting permanent damage. To myself. To relationships.

I’ve been crying. I’ve been quick to have my feelings hurt. I’ve been second guessing myself. Other people. Their motives. I’ve been moody and irritable. My ADHD has spun out and I’ve lost my motivation, focus of discipline. I’ve been staying up later again. Not eating or skipping meals, more out of forgetfulness than anything else. My thoughts I’ve realized are very scattered. Sigh

A lot of the things that I’ve been emotional about… I think I would have still been emotional about even if I was properly taking my meds. But I think being off them and irregular about it has certainly enhanced or made worse some of those feelings. I’m looking forward to getting back to center.

Let my mishap be a lesson to others, and a lesson to my future self. Chemistry is too complicated and important to fuck up and expect the same results or expecting to avoid disaster.

Not going to beat myself up about it any more right now. And I’m gonna try to be mindful of not beating myself up over it moving forward. Nothing can be done about the past. Just have to fix it moving forward.

Moving forward is the only option.

[ten-percent-battery]

There’s a whole lot to be gained from a good anime adaptation of a manga- music, strong vocal performances, color in a lot of cases, visual gags that only work in animation etc.

But there are some things we lose too that you can only get in manga. In this case it’s well designed panels. I think these panels of Falin work better in the manga than in the anime because of how static they are.

After Laios leaves their home, there’s nothing going on in Falin’s life anymore. She’s definitely sad and probably also really bored and lonely. I’m definitely not an expert at manga and comic design, but I think here Ryoko Kui conveys these feelings Falin might be having really well in how these three panels are presented to us.

Like I mentioned before, the panels are very static. They are three repeating images of one scene where Falin eats her meal alone. They are all exactly the same size, and are all laid out in a straight line side by side with each other. We can see all three panels all at once, so while they are their own individual images, they all also make one single image that plainly shows us the passage of time through the tree outside of the window, while everything going on inside stays exactly the same.

The anime can’t do that. We don’t get to see all three snapshots of time at once, it’s got to cut to a different season and we see them one at a time.

One day my favorite manga will likely receive an anime adaptation. I am so very excited for it because Witch Hat Atelier is gorgeous and compelling and I love it. But I’m also a little bit apprehensive about what it will end up being like because what makes it my favorite manga is just how beautifully Kamome Shirahama presents her panels. And I have no idea how anyone is supposed to get that across in an anime.

lines in motion does a wonderful job explaining what I’m trying to talk about in this video of theirs.

They did this scene okay in the adaptation but there's something about these three little panels that made me hurt when I read it. Monochrome just works sometimes.

[fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction]

Afton-Herrera Moments 5

Time: Unknown Location: Somewhere in Florida

.

.

“That last job should have us set for a while,” Panther mused aloud, relaxing at the makeshift table that had been made for eating meals. Router remembered asking about it when he first moved in with the mercenary duo and being told Tiger had built it after getting fed up with Panther leaving crumbs in the couches from eating there. It wasn’t very pretty, just a plain flat surface of wooden planks nailed to a wooden frame and coated in wood stain and sealant for protection, but it served the purpose well. “Good payout and I got a new weapon out of it too!” the man went on with a pleased grin.

“Do you get a new one on every job?” Router sighed in exasperation, giving him an annoyed glare. New ‘weapons’ meant more mouths to feed, meant the money had to stretch a little further to cover living expenses, meant he’d be focused on spreadsheets and balancing bills instead of fortifying their online defenses. How was he supposed to erase traces of themselves online when he was busy pinching pennies on the food budget?

“Feet off the table, Sydney,” Tiger grumbled as he finally swept into the room. He carried a large tray laden with plates of food, grilled chicken and salads and baked potatoes. The job had been good enough that Panther’s brother had splurged on the celebratory dinner. Router perked up at the sight of the food even as he very firmly ignored any mention of Panther’s true name.

Panther sighed as he lowered his legs from the table surface, more scoffing in sound than anything. While Tiger set out the servings for the three of them, he reached into the nearby cooler and pulled out fresh beers to add to the table. Router accepted his with a quiet thanks and a wry grin.

It was kind of nice to be part of this ‘family’ dinner. His own hadn’t always been peaceful, as for some reason his mother liked to use them to vent her frustrations about anything that annoyed her, which ranged from the good-for-nothing man that got her pregnant and then ditched her to Router getting less than perfect grades in whatever subject in school he was struggling to understand. Getting away from her and gaining control over his life had been the most freeing thing, and now he could enjoy more fun dinners like this.

“Next time, get a weapon that can also cook,” Tiger suggested dryly, splitting open his baked potato and scooping up part of the fluffy innards with a piece of chicken, “I could use more hands in the kitchen to feed all these strays you keep bringing home.”

“I got Sweets, didn’t I?” Panther protested, gesturing aimlessly in the general direction of the cellblocks where he kept his ‘stock’. “She’s good at cooking! One of these days she’ll even keep up our stock of meds and poisons!”

“She’s also eight and labels her shit with stickers,” Tiger pointed out flatly, jabbing his fork toward his affronted brother, “I’m not putting that kid near our food when she’s holding a bottle with a unicorn on it and I don’t know if that means sugar or anthrax.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who gave her the stickers!”

“She’s a kid and needs toys and playtime, you can’t just stick them in a room and expect them to be okay like the adults you nab.”

“She’s just new, she’ll catch on,” Panther dismissed with a huff as Tiger rolled his eyes and went back to his food. Router watched the back and forth with an amused smile. Even though it kind of sounded like his mother’s ranting at first, the way the two of them bounced back and forth with their words seemed more like a loud conversation over the care of Panther’s new ‘weapon’. Wasn’t the first time Router saw a kid running around the place with Panther’s signature tattoo painted on them with ink, but it was the first time on a job he saw the guy just scoop one up after taking a look at them and their room and announce them as his bonus for the job.

Router still felt his skin crawl at the look of one of the other mercenaries at Sweets, but once Panther had her nobody else dared come near. As far as the hacker was concerned, she was in the safest place in the world now and would be learning some good new skills as she grew up. The fact that she was smiling now as the bruises were healing was already proof she was happier.

It just made his respect for Panther grow even more.

“You did good work, kiddo,” Tiger spoke up and Router looked over at the older man as he lifted his beer in toast of him, “Keeping those cameras off him, can’t have been easy with the way he just barges through everything.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Router replied with a grin, soaking in the praise, “Panther can count on me to watch his back on the web and anywhere there’s a system to crack.”

Tiger nodded at him, then gave Panther a narrow-eyed glare of irritation. “As for you, no more new weapons for the next few jobs,” he scolded, “This was a good score but our overhead’s gettin’ high for keeping your shit in good condition so we gotta build up reserve cash again for maintenance.”

“No promises,” Panther waved his brother’s words off before digging into his food. Router hid his grin with a sip of his beer, feeling relaxed and in a much better mood now that his partner was being reigned in on his ‘spending’ by his older brother. It was interesting to see the dynamic as an only child. What would it be like, he wondered, to have an older or younger sibling?

And then he dismissed the thought as silly to think about; he was basically nonexistent to the people who called themselves his parents so what was the use of thinking about family now?

.

—----------------------------------

Present Day Hurricane, Utah

.

Fingers moved stiffly, one after another, and Freddy had an expression that somehow managed to convey both focus and frustration in the limited movement of facial features. Gregory and Alex both studied the workings of the animatronic arm that replaced Freddy’s usual limb, then checked the readings on the laptop connected to it.

“It’s gotta be a hardware issue,” Alex muttered, “You wrote the software correctly, even if it’s got more lines of code than I’d use myself.”

“The claws don’t retract though, and that’s what the software’s supposed to do,” Gregory countered with a pout. “Freddy, that software isn’t messing with anything else, right?”

“No, I have it isolated from the level of access needed for the rest of my body while we test,” the animatronic replied and huffed. “I feel resistance to the language this was written in. Most likely, the base code I was built upon is not fully compatible with this language.”

Alex sat back with an exasperated sigh, lifting his feet to rest on the coffee table while he considered Freddy’s words. “What language was used then? How was your coding written?” he mused aloud.

“I learned,” Freddy replied, the tone of his voice taking on a strange quality, “I was born in a nursery and taught how to behave as the Freddy they wanted me to be. The base software I possess.. do other endoskeletons have the same software? Can they be raised to also behave like Freddy Fazbear? And if that is the case, then what stops me from learning the behaviors of another and then taking on that identity instead? Could I just as easily be a Monty instead of a Freddy?”

“That’s a mood,” Alex muttered under his breath as Gregory rushed to soothe and reassure Freddy of his sense of self. The words were uncomfortably reminiscent of his issues with his own identity and also of Sydney and his connection with his past as Panther.

If Sydney didn’t really behave the same as Panther, then was he even that Panther? And if he was no longer Panther, then did Alex bring him back wrong with his deal? Did he trap a stranger into this existence instead of give a second chance at life to his old friend?

“Maybe we should ask Mr. Fitzgerald for those files and see if there’s a clue in there about Freddy’s software,” Gregory suggested, grabbing the tools to disconnect his homemade arm and reconnect Freddy’s usual one. “I told you we should have taken lemon cookies and made peace with the guy the last time we had him and Mr. Woods do a maintenance check.”

Alex scoffed at the idea, but it was probably something he’d have to do sooner than later if they were going to get any idea of what base software was used for Freddy. Understanding that would go a long way to fixing anomalies in it for the others, since Gregory was still fixated on the idea of going into the Pizzaplex to recover the programming chips of the other Glamrocks. That was something already being worked on by the other Guards as well; Woods had been studying some recent photos of the ruined Pizzaplex during that last visit, which meant his roommate was hearing about it and he’d be telling his sister and his sister would gossip about it to Meera since they were best friends and if Meera heard about it....

He grimaced at the idea of Circus Baby hearing about it and joining in on the operation. Much as he didn’t like being around his father’s digital self, Alex knew that the artificial spirit was their best counter to the Master File’s control over the Pizzaplex network.

There was knocking from across the room that drew their attention and Alex raised his eyebrows at Sydney standing at the entrance to the den. He moved his hand from the wall to his mouth, tapping his knuckles against his lips in signal so Alex could fish out his phone and hold it up, his custom app open for translating Sydney’s sign language. Once the phone was up, Sydney went on with signing, a disapproving frown on his face.

“/Feet off the table/,” the phone spoke in translation and Alex scowled even as he pulled his legs down. A flicker of deja vu revived an old memory of him and Panther and Tiger from some months before that tragic job at Freddy’s, and the scowl grew more bitter.

“Oh, hey, you guys are back!” Gregory greeted as Sydney moved aside enough to let Vanessa pass by him to enter the den, her hands gripping a pair of bags of takeout food, “How’s the Pizzaplex looking? Are those tacos?”

“Yeah, Sydney said these were more authentic than that brand-name place,” Vanessa replied as she set the bags down on the coffee table, gently nudging aside the disconnected arm. “As for the Pizzaplex, we scouted around it for any way in but most of the regular entrances are either locked or blocked off. Might have to literally break in to get access again.”

“Could bug Woods and his friends for help in that, even if some of that help means Vincent and the asshole will tag along,” Alex suggested, accepting a container and popping the lid open to reveal a few tacos and the customary sides.

A dark glass bottle extended towards him caught him by surprise and he reached for it more out of familiarity before realizing that the glass was clear, the liquid inside dark and bubbly. A soda. Alex glanced up at Sydney holding the drink out to him, his brother giving him a concerned look over how he’d gone still.

“Thanks,” he muttered awkwardly, taking the bottle and setting it on the table near his food.

Another sort-of family dinner. Alex sat back with his set of tacos, taking a bite as he looked over the group of people that he lived with. An unlikely bunch getting along; Alex didn’t think he’d ever be okay with living with a pair of Aftons, even if they were technically forced to be Aftons. Aftons got him and Panther killed, trapped as ghosts tethered to an animatronic rabbit and bound to yet another Afton siphoning their energy for his gain, and it was that Afton’s plan that ended up with Panther being so thoroughly shredded of Remnant and memories that there was almost nothing left of him to reincarnate with.

But here they were, and at least he still had Sydney, even if his memories were severely lacking.

Just... would it really be so bad to wish Sydney had more of Panther back? That confidence and control Alex remembered and admired; Sydney could really use some of that to get over being so afraid of himself.

[ackerfics]

polaroid love — levi ackerman.

— levi ackerman x female reader (college au | modern au)

— warnings: a suggestive scene, but other than that, none <3

— summary: everything should be captured in a polaroid. something intimate enough to be put in film, only for you and levi’s eyes to see. because one thing remains true no matter what people think of levi — what you two have is romantic and wholesome and eternal.

— word count: 5.9k

— notes: since i miss you guys and i miss posting fics here, take this as my apology for disappearing for a few days :> i finally made a fic centering around this ask woot woot it's about levi having a childhood friend and his friends not believing their eyes when he becomes soft for that childhood friend ^^ this is just something i spontaneously wrote after finishing some of my schoolwork djewje i debated so hard on the title and bc enhypen's polaroid love comes on shuffle, i said why not :> enjoy reading and always remember to take care of yourselves, loves !!

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated !! <3 my masterlist

There’s a rumor within the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences that one could get a failing mark when they come across a particular Literature major, even worse when they meet gazes with him.

It’s a rumor that Levi Ackerman detests, being the one grumpy Literature major everyone has been talking about for three years since he entered Trost University. A normal college experience was all he ever wanted, laying low until he graduated and making use of his degree to get a decent-paying job. Whoever started the gossip of him being responsible for the failing marks of some students in his faculty, Levi hopes that their meals taste horrendous throughout their years in this university, even if they eat in the same establishment. Now, Levi has to suffer from being labeled as the ‘harbinger of red marks’. It’s not his fault he was born with a very convenient resting bitch face.

“You doing okay there, Levi? You look like you’re about to bash your laptop.”

All it takes is your voice and Levi’s shoulders droop from its tense hold — his thoughts about the baseless rumors surrounding him dwindle and morph into all things about you. It’s astounding how well he hides your effect on him, only coming out in the most minuscule of actions that almost everyone can’t identify. Well, except for you — the person who has been there for him since he was just a boy with too many dreams in a little town.

Levi’s first meeting with you was in a park located in the center of his childhood neighborhood. He was perfectly content with making his castle in the sandbox, patting the rough surfaces until they flatten into the roofs of his miniature creation. He held an affinity for all things magical when his mother read him a story from the collection of fairy tales she bought for him. It was supposed to be for him to practice his reading but there was something about the way Kuchel enunciated every dialogue and narration that made his imagination wander. In one of his mother’s stories, a pretty princess was mentioned — the heroine of the tale. And as Levi looked up from his castle to shoo off whoever blocked the sunlight, the pretty princess was standing in front of him. You were dressed in a dress that’s not suitable for a dirty playground where kids would push you off any chance they got, a bow holding your hair back in a low half ponytail.

It was safe to say that little Levi was entranced. Even at five years old, he knew that you were going to be different from the rest. Still, in kindergarten, he just didn’t have the capacity to fully understand why his heart started beating so fast or why his cheeks felt too warm. There was one thing he knew though.

You really look like the heroine princess in his favorite fairy tale.

Your smile was so real and your laugh was twinkling in his ears. “Hi! I’m new to the neighborhood! My name is [Name]. What’s your name?”

Little Levi blinked, his face still flushed and gaze now lowered to his castle. He found himself becoming shy at your radiant beam. “... Levi,” he murmured, only loud enough for you to hear.

“That’s a pretty name! Hey, do you want to play in the jungle gym with me?”

Now he understands why he feels so irritated regarding those rumors.

He’s never like that with you — grumpy and dismissive and just plain rude. He won’t dare treat you like that. (Or else Kuchel will kick him out of his childhood home for good. That woman dotes on you more than she does with him. It’s not that he’s bitter but he can see the difference.) Levi treats you like how you deserve to be treated — with unconditional affection and care that doesn’t cross the line of overprotectiveness. It’s to be expected that he acts differently around you because he knows you way longer than he knows everyone. It comes so easy for him to be soft for you. There were times when he’d become distant (mainly during the days you were dating someone) but he'd always come back to you.

Levi looks up from his laptop and fixes his stare at you lounging on his bed, the book he gave you a week before unattended on your lap. Your eyes shine with concern as you lean forward to focus your attention on him. Levi feels his stomach tingle. You’re dangerous — every action you do garners a reaction in him that he’s been buried for as long as he can remember.

He goes back to typing on his book analysis. “Just the stupid rumors coming up again. Someone failed in our department and they all like to think I had something to do with it. Fucking idiots.”

It’s funny at first. How everyone seems to squirm at the name of your childhood best friend. But you slowly start to see the similarities this had when you two were in primary school. And they say university is not a place for pettiness. You almost scoff out loud. It’s clearly bugging Levi even though he doesn’t outwardly show it. “Do you want me to kindly tell them to fuck off?” you casually ask.

“Don’t waste your time with them, doudou,” Levi drawls, the nickname he has for you slipping with ease. It started because you were the closest thing he had on his bed while you two were having a sleepover in second grade. He asked his mother what term she used with his favorite pillow, then pointed at you one morning and shouted ‘doudou’. You cried. At seven years old, you did not want to be compared to an extinct bird. “They’re not worth it.”

You’re now sitting upright beside him. “But if it bothers you, telling them off would be worth it.”

He glances at you, absorbing your furrowed expression with half-lidded eyes. Adorable. Levi slightly rolls his eyes, raising his hand to pat you on the head. “Again, they’re not worth it.”

You take his wrist and grip it softly in your palms. You mindlessly run your touch on the veins lining under his skin, butterflies erupting in Levi’s stomach, his body leaning towards your warmth. “‘Vi,” your tone is almost a placating one but Levi knows better. It’s you trying to convince him that the rumors have to stop if he’s thinking too much about it to the point of losing productivity. “You’ve told people off for me several times in high school.”

“Well, it’s different. They’re guys who couldn’t take a hint that you’re not interested.”

“And these are people who can’t take a hint that you’re not this grumpy gremlin they’re trying to press.”

Levi narrows his eyes at you. “Of all things,” he flicks your forehead, massaging the area immediately after you yelp, “why am I a gremlin?”

“It fits you for some reason.”

He clicks his tongue. “Brat.”

“Gremlin.”

Levi stuffs your face with the nearest pillow, pushing you until you’re laying on your back, and a muffled ‘hey’ resonates through the material. He huffs in satisfaction before returning to his task. “That’s what you get for calling me that.” Silence surrounds the two of them, letting the clacking from Levi’s keyboard lull them in their separate activities (although you chose to simply look up at Levi’s studio apartment’s ceiling rather than going back to your novel). “You know I don’t care what people think, right? Let them talk shit about me. It just pisses me off sometimes how they paint me as someone who’s not capable of being cordial.”

“Rumors can stay as rumors because you are more than what they say, ‘Vi.” He looks over to you, heart stopping at the sight of your beautiful smile. “Fuck what they say. They see an unapproachable man with a resting bitch face? I see the most hardworking person who has a soft spot for puppies, who will one day write a number one bestselling novel, who prioritizes the bonds he made with his friends.” You sit up again, placing both of your hands on the sides of Levi’s cheeks, his rare wide-eyed look reminds you of ever-shining stardust. “I’m a witness to your amazing qualities. The world may be against you but always remember that no matter how many sides you have in your character, the way I see you will never change, okay?”

Fuck. You just bring sunshine wherever you go and it just so happens you’re shedding sunbeams on every part of him. And he’s basking them in like a sunflower. Unwavering faith and unconditional adoration and love — they’re things he only feels with you.

Levi wonders what will you feel if he kisses you right now.

You’re so close to him right now. He can smell the sillage of your scent — the lavender fabric softener he recommended you a while back and the subtle scent of citrus your perfume brings. Your words are just one of the reasons why his heart always gravitates towards you. No words are being exchanged as he reads your soul through your eyes. It doesn’t even register to Levi that the atmosphere becomes thick with palpable tenderness. Your lips part, your hand never leaving Levi’s skin as he moves imperceptibly closer to you until mere centimeters separate you two. Again, he wonders about your many thoughts if he kisses you in his studio apartment. Will you flinch? Recoil? Look at him like he broke your heart?

He can feel your upper lip brush against his and he slightly shivers from the sensation. Holy shit, is he really going to kiss you? His childhood best friend? The one person he wouldn’t dare hurt? What will come out of your relationship if he just presses his lips on yours and relishes the rush of oxytocin you always cause?

“Tell me to stop, doudou,” Levi murmurs, both of your lips brushing on each other as he speaks the language only you two can speak.

“I trust you, ‘Vi.”

“Only you,” Levi wraps an arm around the small of your waist, his other hand pushing the laptop off his lap and on the duvet, “let me love you and only you.”

Your heart feels like bursting from your chest, your head nodding along to the song of your combined heartbeats. “Take care of me, Levi.”

“When have I never?”

It feels whole — kissing you in the comfort of his studio apartment with no witnesses except his potted plants. Your lips feel so right and addicting and pleasant that Levi deepens the kiss with a firm hand on your nape.

Levi pulls you in without warning and instead of feeling trapped, you feel embraced. You always wonder about the many possibilities if you kiss Levi. If there’s one person to who you wanted to give all your firsts, it would be Levi. Surely your first kiss had long been gone to your first boyfriend in might school but it never felt gratifying like how Levi carefully situates you on his lap right now. The hands you placed on his cheek travel to his hair, slightly pulling on them when you feel his tongue brushing on yours. You then think about the many moments you share with Levi growing up if he ever sees you differently. Because the way he’s looking at you at the moment like you’re divinity is doing wonders to your weak heart. Then it hits you.

You’re kissing your childhood friend.

And the buried feelings resurface in the form of tender, gentle kisses on his cheek when you slightly pull away for air.

“I’d bow down to you, you know? Write a book about what you mean to me. I’d do anything for you to see me differently.”

You whimper as he places open kisses on your neck, leaving behind a trail of blossoms in varying reds.

“So, can I be yours, doudou?”

You open your mouth to answer him yes yes yes — returning the favor by letting him know you’re his as well — but your voice catches in your throat when your phone rings on his night table. The moment pauses, with you climbing off Levi’s lap and checking on the caller ID. You slide your finger on the screen.

“Nanaba?”

It’s silent behind you and you’re starting to worry if Levi regrets what happened. You spiral in insecurities until you hear your friend greet you with a chime, “[Name], babes! Glad you picked up. I’m just asking if you’re still on for the study group we planned?”

You look at Levi’s alarm clock and you see that you’re ten minutes late for your study group. Cursing yourself in your head, you answer, “Nanaba, I’m so sorry, I lost track of time. I’ll be going now!”

“No worries, no worries. I know you had a rough time in your labs yesterday—”

“Please don’t remind me.”

“—So take all the time you need to come here.”

“Am I the only one not there?” This is what you’re wishing to not happen. It always makes you feel bad if you’re the only one missing in a group hangout, even if they’re still your closest friends in university. You stand up from Levi’s bed and hurry to put the novel he let you borrow in your tote bag. Then, you check if everything is in place before running your hand through your hair. You feel a movement coming from behind you, feeling the smooth material drape over your shirt. You look over your shoulder and find Levi putting his oversized leather jacket on you.

“I don’t want you to freeze out there,” Levi whispers in your ear.

Your face heats up, remembering how he kissed you like you’re his salvation. You distance your phone away from you, murmuring, “Thanks,” before kissing him on the corner of his lips. Putting the phone back in your ear, you hastily resume the conversation. “I was just getting ready, Nanaba. I realized I didn’t the call on-speaker. You were saying?”

“Oh,” her tone has a teasing lilt, her chuckles making you look at your phone in confusion. “I was saying that my friend from the Chemistry department is running late, too. The one who’s so excited to meet you.”

“Oh, thank God.” You sag in relief. “I’ll be there under ten. See you later, Nanaba.” While your friend returns the words, Levi has been directing you to his door with a gentle hand on the small of your back. Once the exit to his apartment is in front of you, you turn around to wordlessly bid him goodbye. Levi ducks, pressing his lips on yours, almost how a flower petal kisses your lips. With half-lidded eyes, you look at him through your eyelashes. “Bye-bye.”

Levi hums, kissing you again, molding his lips with yours. “Bye, beautiful.”

Butterflies shoot through your body, multiplying even as the door to his apartment shuts behind you. You sit on your hunches and silently squeal on your hands. Your face is too warm now.

On the other side of the door, Levi walks to his bed in a daze. Feeling the edge of his mattress on his knees, he slumps on the plush material. His heart is beating so hard and his entire face and neck feel like a furnace. He’s sure his face looks like a tomato. If it were in the simpler days, you would have teased him about it. But now, you’re the reason why he’s a blushing mess tonight. All he can say in his pillow is a weak, “Fuck.”

“Erwin, let me ask you something serious.” Hange leans closer to the center of the table. They look around, checking for someone that might overhear them. Still, the brown-haired person lowers their voice as they spill the beans to their companion. “Is Levi dating someone?”

Erwin stops eating his lunch, his fork pausing in midair. “What?”

“Think very carefully,” Hange drawls. “Did he mention anything about a significant other to us at any given time?”

The blond stares at the awning of the establishment they chose to eat at. It takes him a whole minute to rack his brain of anything that his other friend might have revealed about his love life. “Well, if there’s someone Levi talks about with us, it’s his childhood friend. I think they’re here in Trost U, too?” It comes off as a question because as far as Erwin knows, Levi never disclosed any personal information regarding his mysterious best friend. “I think he only mentioned his best friend a couple of times but he looked different when he talks about them.”

“Are you sure he didn’t mention a potential girlfriend?” Hange presses, their glass glinting.

Erwin blinks. “You know Levi is not someone to announce that.”

“But still!” The brown-haired person throws their hands in the air, leaning back on their chair as they start to sulk. There’s got to be an explanation, right? It’s not a coincidence. It’s been a week and all the investigating Hange did was all in vain. For starters, Levi doesn’t have any social media accounts, well, none that Hange and Erwin are aware of. Hange makes sure to tease the shorter man about it because who in their right mind would choose not to create a single social media account these days? “I swear they look the same.”

“What are you talking about, Hange?”

Said person perks up, once again leaning to the center of the table. They beckon Erwin to come closer while looking from side to side. The blond humors them and does what they say. The two of them look like gossiping fools but who cares. This is valuable information — the gold at the end of every rainbow.

“Last week,” Hange whispers, though as seen by the person sitting at the table next to them, it looks like they’re not as quiet as they think, “we had a study group, right?” Erwin nods. It’s one of the reasons why Hange canceled their plans for the entire day because of this specific study group. They had someone they badly wanted to meet. “I was the last one there, as usual, but I met the sweetest human being on the planet. She’s downright gorgeous inside and out, Erwin! I’m not exaggerating at all! Nanaba is quite protective of her for that reason and she has every right to be because I’d do anything to put her out of harm’s way. She’s so smart, too! I can’t believe she’s from the Faculty of Medical Sciences since she looks like an Art student.”

“Hange, you’re rambling.”

“Oh, shit!” Hange laughs. “I’m sorry. I can go on and on about her.” Then, they turn serious. “The one thing that caught my attention though was her jacket.”

Erwin furrows his brows. “What about her jacket?”

“It’s Levi’s.”

The entire university town goes on as normal except for the two.

“What?” Erwin asks.

Hange slowly nods. “Yes, Erwin, she was wearing a jacket that Levi occasionally wears when he tries to dress up for a change. The leather one.”

“Yeah, the leather one that he always pairs up with a white shirt.”

“Exactly.”

The blond is stunned. If there’s one thing that he truly knows about Levi is that the shorter man has no time for romance. The number of times they got turned down when they offered a blind date to him can’t be counted in two hands. Every flirty advance thrown his way, Levi makes sure to ignore it or worse, scare the other person away. Erwin was starting to think that Levi’s allergic to relationships with the way he’s acting. Until Hange drops this bomb on him that he rethinks everything Levi said and did when the topic of romance came into play. It was always the same thing — a resolute no and a murderous glare that could’ve driven someone off a cliff. Sometimes, it was just a scoff and the conversation about potential significant others stopped right there. There’s just no way Levi’s hiding someone from them. Right?

“Surely there are others on the campus that have the same leather jacket,” Erwin says through his hand.

For some reason, Hange understands him even though the words are muffled. “Oh, it’s the same as Shorty.”

“Why do you say so?”

“There’s a small sunflower pin on the left breast pocket.”

Erwin inhales. “Does this mean—?”

“Yeah.”

“... Holy shit.” However, the blond backtracks. “Wait a second. What if that girl you met last week in your study group is his childhood best friend and not his girlfriend? He talks fondly of his best friend even though his face doesn’t show it. Plus, I let you borrow my jackets when it’s too cold sometimes. Miche does it to anyone who needs a jacket.”

Erwin’s got a point so Hange exclaims something that makes the blond’s blood run cold. “Then, let’s ask him! He’s right over there!”

“What?!” Blue eyes frantically search around the vicinity and true to his friend’s word, the onyx-haired man stands in front of the university town’s fountain. His jaded silver gaze scans every person passing by, never once lifting to the establishments. Levi looks like he’s waiting for someone. “What a coincidence,” Erwin mutters in disbelief. He never takes his stare off his stand-offish friend, not believing it when you stop in front of Levi, and all of a sudden, the man affectionately pinches your nose with a smirk. Or is it really affectionate or is Erwin assuming things? Nonetheless, he continues watching (with Hange) as Levi takes your bag from your shoulders and slings it over his. There’s something familiar with you — that’s the one thing running in his mind.

Blinking in incredulity, the blond jumps a little when Hange slams their hands on the wooden table so hard that it catches the attention of the waiter. Hastily, Erwin waves the poor server away with an apologetic smile.

The way Hange’s glasses glint without the help of a sunlight’s glare douses Erwin in deja vu of the many spontaneous things the brown-haired person did. “I say we follow them.”

He has a feeling this won’t end in their favor.

So far, so good in their little secret mission — Levi hasn’t noticed them.

Yet.

“I think I know her.”

Hange turns their head too quickly towards Erwin.

“We have a few classes together back in freshman year,” Erwin clarifies, eyes set on you and Levi, the two of you now browsing through the different boutique displays that are for the new season. “She was my seatmate in Ethics and she was probably the first person who ever made a conversation to me that doesn’t start with ‘your eyebrows are fucking thick’.” Hange chokes beside him because that was exactly Levi said to him when they first met, plus, that’s what they said to Erwin, only in a different way of phrasing. “I never knew she’s his childhood friend. What a small world.”

It’s like watching a Korean drama unfold in front of their eyes. Only this time it features their closed-off friend and someone that he holds dear in his heart. Hange even jokingly states that all they’re missing is a sweet background instrumental or song. Because that’s what it looks like — every moment is like a painted frame from a romance show. The whole time, Levi has been nothing but gentle with you. To some bystanders, they’re imperceptible but to Hange and Erwin, everything’s so baffling. Because this was the guy who was rumored to radiate bad luck wherever he went, the guy who slapped Hange’s hand away when they reached for his tea, the guy who constantly reminded Erwin that he needed to trim his eyebrows if he didn't want them to look like caterpillars. The list goes on.

Who knew he could wait for someone who takes too much time browsing a clothing store? The small hand on your back? That thing most guys do to their closest female friend whenever they walk close to the edge of the sidewalk? Levi’s got it in the bag — he appears to like doing it to you, too. Everything should be captured in a polaroid. Something intimate enough to be put in film, only for you and Levi’s eyes to see. Because one thing remains true no matter what people think of Levi — what you two have is romantic and wholesome and eternal.

Erwin starts feeling guilty for breaching Levi’s privacy with you but it’s not the same with Hange — they’re over the moon. They’re preparing to detail everything out later to the other members of their friend circle, particularly Petra who’s always finding loopholes with Oluo about Levi’s love life. As Erwin’s about to scold Hange for taking out their phone to take a picture of you, something happens that confirms both of their theories.

Levi hands you his small cup of tea from the cafe you two frequent whenever your schedules align with each other. He thinks that for today, he’s going to try one of their new brews, the flower ones that caught his eye a while ago but never got the chance to have a taste. Strawberries with hibiscus and chamomile. Just from the smell, Levi hums in approval. There’s no mistaking the light spark in his eyes when he sips on the beverage, immediately thrusting the cup in your face. “Try this.”

(The stalkers both have their jaws dropping.)

“Oh?” You curiously peer at him. “You don’t like it?” You gingerly take it from his hand and take a whiff of the scent. Almost instantly, you feel your nerves relax.

“I didn’t say anything about not liking it.” He pushes your forehead with his index finger. “Just try it, doudou.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” It’s an instantaneous calming effect. “Holy shit, this is good.”

Levi flashes a small smile. “Yeah? I’ve been trying to buy this but I don’t have any free time.” He takes back the cup from you and sips on the lid with a contented countenance. Finally, after intense requirements from his professors, he manages to try something different other than his usual black and green teas. Now, he’s thinking of buying this pack from the cafe since the establishment is also known for putting out its flavor combinations for those who have no time to visit their shop. “Tastes well.”

“It does,” you agree, relishing your hazelnut boba tea. It’s also something new that you thought would be nice to try today. After hearing good things from Nanaba about this certain flavor, you’re also dying to try it. Now that you do, you also requested to have a spoonful of coffee jelly mixed in your drink. You never regret ordering this tall cup now.

Unaware of your surroundings as you enjoy your heavenly beverage, Levi is staring at your pleasing side profile like a satellite attracted to their luminary.

Never once does he look away.

Levi ponders if you’re even real — if you’re finally within his reach after pining for you since he was the starry-eyed boy in the neighborhood playground. Then, you look at him and there he knows. For all the times he calls you his sun, he’s always your moon. Never one without the other. Both in the same sky, constantly chasing one another in an endless loop. Here, he grasps this chance to cause an eclipse. Levi reaches for your wrist, head ducking down towards the straw of your boba tea. “Let me try?” He directly looks at you and he can hear how both of your heartbeats create dulcet tones. Your little nod is everything he needs. It’s too sweet for his taste but again, you’re in his life and you’re the sweetest entity he’s ever craved. A 50%-sugar drink is nothing compared to your mellifluous quintessence. “Not bad.”

Your faces are too close, spring blooming again inside your ribs. “Really?” you breathe.

Levi nods. It’s as he expected — it’s too sweet for him but judging from your overjoyed reaction, it’s not that bad. “I can taste black tea there. I thought this was hazelnut?”

“I think they mentioned that it’s not purely hazelnut,” you laugh lightheartedly. “I read in their menu that they added a small hint of black tea there."

“Oh? Then, I’ll buy this next time.”

Seeing you illuminate with joy is enough for Levi to assume that there’s no way this day will be ruined.

He spoke too soon.

It’s right when the two of you decide to eat dinner in a Japanese restaurant that he starts thinking that way. Throughout your hang-out, Levi felt eerie stares boring in your direction. It’s one of the reasons why he never strayed that far away from you every chance he got. He can’t shake off the feeling that these specific stares feel so familiar that it’s bubbling annoyance inside his stomach. It’s like he’s subjected to these eyes daily and he can’t help but look over his shoulder every time you both stop in a certain store. Because of this unsettling inkling washing over him, he chooses to sit next to you, his knee touching yours as he angles himself to still face you.

It’s not that you complain about the fresh sitting position but Levi rarely sits next to you during meals, insisting that it’s better to be across from you as a humbling sign that you’re eating too fast. Just like how you two exchanged drinks an hour ago, both of you keep letting the other taste what you order.

“Do you need help with your lab reports?” Levi casually queries, reaching to take a little portion of your yakisoba with his chopsticks.

“Hmm?” You look up from biting on a piece of stolen tempura.

Levi snorts at your puffed cheeks, letting you swallow your food before taking a napkin to clean the corners of your lips. “You need help with your labs?”

You give him a gentle smile. “I can manage them.”

“You look like you’re ready to doze off though.”

That’s the thing with Levi — his blunt nature is what keeps you in line, what keeps you sane. His words might come off as frank but that’s how he shows someone he cares to notice something amiss in your actions. And he’s right — your under-eyes are more prominent after many visitations in the simulation lab. Feeling the fatigue cloak you, you lean your head on his shoulder, sighing into the dusk. You never lift your head, blinking ever so slowly, and vocalize, “Thank you for today, ‘Vi.”

Levi puts down his chopsticks and pats your head in a rhythm that soothes all your worries away. “Don’t mention it, doudou.”

Then, you feel Levi stiffen. You tilt your head to look at him, finding that he’s glowering at something a few meters from you two. “Are you alright, ‘Vi?” You follow his gaze and there you see Hange, the person you befriended in the study group, and Erwin, your seatmate all those years ago in Ethics, poorly hiding behind copies of the restaurant’s menu. You snort, the sound catching Levi’s attention yet his glare remains fixated on the two idiots.

If looks can kill, Hange and Erwin would be more than six feet under. “I’m going to fucking destroy them.”

You laugh before straightening yourself.

Levi sees you raising your hand. “Hey, what are you doing—?”

“Hange, Erwin!”

How the fuck do you know them? The black-haired man stares at your bright smile, eye twitching at the incredulity of the situation.

Hange waves at you just as enthusiastically while Erwin resorts to a civil one that showcases a sheepish smile. You see the blond glance at the man beside you and you nearly laugh when he chokes at the murderous blank facade still on Levi. Without noticing the nervous wreck that is their friend, Hange shouts with utmost happiness, “Hi, [Name]!”

You chuckle. “Why don’t you two join us? We’ve just started eating and I think your orders are on their way now. It would be nice to have more people at the table since I think all of us are acquainted.” You don’t even have to repeat what you said because Hange pulls Erwin from their table and heads to where you and Levi are. The black-haired man grumbles beside you, earning him a gentle jab in the ribs, to which he grunts at. “It’s nice to finally meet Levi’s friends! He talks about you two so much.”

Hange snickers behind their hand. Levi narrows his eyes at their behavior. “Not as much as he talks about you to us! If I’d known that you’re the person Nanaba was going to introduce to me—”

“What would you do, Four-Eyes?” Levi interjects, his mood sour now that his day with you is ruined.

“Nothing that would harm your reputation, Shorty.”

You burst out laughing. The blond in front of Levi is still silent so you turn to him after more than one year of not being seatmates in a huge auditorium. “Hey, Erwin, how are you doing?”

The said man reciprocates your smile. “Fine, surprisingly. So far the classes haven’t been beating us up over every requirement.”

“That’s great to know. How I wish my professors become as considerate as the Social Sciences ones. I miss Professor Pyxis.”

Erwin heartily laughs, remembering your experiences with him as a seatmate under the old man’s guidance. “He still has that interesting way of teaching, that’s for sure.”

True to his words, Pyxis makes his students take the floor to every lecture. You’ve overcome your fear of public speaking because he stated that his students should be well-versed in explaining particular topics in an articulate manner that catches everyone’s attention. Good thing he found your presentations adequate to pass you. All thanks to Levi’s help of fabricating your script and designing your PowerPoint presentation, not to mention your then best friend’s rigorous training of memorization that had you thinking you were auditioning for a singing competition and Levi’s the judge. You can only smile at those memoirs. “I was shitting every time he calls for my name, you know.”

“I feel the same,” Erwin nods, something that you don’t believe because this man can say one word and everyone’s already enlightened. “Especially when he knows you,” he shakes his head, “you’re bound to be called and grilled more often.”

“Yikes,” you grimace. “Good luck, Erwin.”

He finds your determined expression endearing so he mimics it. “Thank you, [Name], I definitely needed that.”

All this time, Levi flicks his gaze between the three of you but when his eyes land on you, he softens. You’ve always been curious about his friends since he’s already known Nanaba and Nifa in the middle of your second semester in sophomore year. He wraps his arm around your waist, his thumb rubbing circles on top of your shirt. “Oi,” all chattering at your table stops, “I know this is long overdue but I think you two need proper introductions to this brat.” You playfully roll your eyes at him. “Eyebrows, Four-Eyes,” he glances at each person after saying their corresponding nicknames, then looks at you with a small smile, “meet [Name] [Last Name], my childhood best friend.” Levi takes in a deep breath, a ghost of a smirk pulling on his lips. “And my girlfriend.”

The sound of cutlery from the other tables overlaps the silence that shrouds over yours.

Hange slowly looks at Erwin, who’s equally shocked. “Well, Erwin, I guess we’re both right.”

You tilt your head and your two newfound friends swear they’re seeing an angel that’s contrasting greatly with her partner. “Nice to meet you two.”

levi taglist

@misslovingpearl @guysithinkiloveymir @notgoodforlife @bokkunto @tenaciouswritersheep @sweetheart-syndrome @beautiful-is-boring @instabull

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[torotauri]

Restaurant Review | Momo Hirai [TWICE]

1139 Words

***

Working for a magazine company was never easy for you. Most of the time you need to stay in the office until very late at night to finish writing the final draft of whatever you were writing. And when you do get a chance to go outside, you are always taking photos of things that you are going to write your next article about or reviewing something for a new article. You never thought that being a journalist is going to take all your free time away. However, as much as you want to quit and get a second act, you don't know what else you could do for a career. The only thing that was keeping you in this job was your supervisor, Hirai Momo.

Hirai Momo, she was the editor and your supervisor. She has always been your supervisor ever since you joined the company after graduation. Much to your surprise, she was only a year older than you and very beautiful. You would be lying if you hadn't have a slight crush on her, but an office relationship is so wrong and you'd not dare to start a relationship with her.

Currently, you were sat on your desk typing away. Trying to finish up this article you were supposed to finish by tonight. However, your supervisor Momo had other ideas and plans for you as she walked up to your desk.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" she asked as you freaked out because you thought the deadline for your report has passed.

"I'm finishing off the article about the review of the new Suntory drink. It'll be on your desk by the end of the day" you tried to explain.

"Scrap that off, we've got bigger things to do. There's this new American restaurant opened downtown. The boss wants us to go and try out so we could write a review for the next edition of the magazine. People don't need to know about the Suntory drink that soon, let's go" she demanded.

Great more work for you you thought as you reluctantly got out of your desk and headed to the restaurant with your supervisor Momo.

Once you arrived at the restaurant, you were shocked. It was so fancy and so high class, this was different. Whilst you have done a few reviews of restaurants before, they were all just noodle stands or family restaurants. This wasn't a family restaurant, from what it looks like, it's a restaurant where couples hosts their dates.

The waiter soon sat you and Momo down and Momo ordered a bottle of wine to start off with. This wasn't something new to you as by company laws, this whole order from today's meal will be put onto expenses. Therefore, with that in mind, you looked at the menu and see what you wanted to eat. However, everything on the menu was so high class which was something that you weren't used to. You took a very long time to decide what you wanted to order and by the time the waiter comes back you still haven't decided what you wanted to have.

"So have you guys decided on what you want?" The waiter asked.

"Y/N, have you decided yet?" Momo asked you as you shook your head.

Suddenly the waited chipped in "may I suggest the couples special? Three courses and enough for a couple to share" and as you heard couples special you got a little bit embarrassed because you and Momo aren't a couple. However, Momo agreed to the waiter's suggestions which means you are stuck eating a couples meal with Momo in this fancy restaurant.

The whole meal was awkward for you, it felt like some sort of date for you but you can't think of it that way because you were in office hours. You tried to stop yourself from thinking about it as a date but the environment surroundings and atmosphere was making it hard for you. You looked at Momo, she was very comfortable with the food and doesn't sense anything.

Even when she's eating she's beautiful you thought to yourself as you tried your best to not stare.

Because you can't stop yourself from staring at Momo and was barely touching the food, Momo noticed it and looked up. You tried to look away but it was too late, Momo had caught you staring at her.

"Ya, Y/N why aren't you eating. How are you going to write the report without touching the food" Momo asked.

"It's ok, I'll write about the atmosphere. There's just something on my mind" you replied as you took a sip of the wine. After all alcohol seems to solve the problems.

"Come on, I'm your supervisor and if something's wrong you need to report to your supervisor. I could be more than a supervisor to you" she said.

You shook it off and told her it's nothing as you finally start eating your food. The food was actually very good, but it doesn't matter at this moment. The restaurant has done a brilliant job at setting the atmosphere to make customers think about the people they are with over the food they were eating. Once you started eating you couldn't stop and the meal flown by.

Both of you paid the bill and being the gentlemen, you opened the door for Momo as you both left the restaurant.

"It was nice to get out of the office for once" Momo said as she left the restaurant.

"Yeah it's nice" you managed to stumble.

"Seriously what is wrong with you. You seemed off during the whole meal even though the food was good and the atmosphere there was very nice for couples. It should be a good review this one" Momo asked.

No idea why, but at that moment you just wanted to kiss Momo. Something in your gut was telling you to do it and without thinking anything through you pulled in and gave Momo a kiss which freaked her out.

"Sorry, the atmosphere and the couples special made me feel like this was a date. I didn't mean to do that" you apologised as you pulled out of that kiss.

"It's ok, I guess we have to act like a couple because we should be undercover reviewing this restaurant anyways" Momo said as she quickly walked away and got onto a taxi without saying goodbye.

At that moment, you woke up. You and Momo weren't on a date, you supposed to be there on an undercover mission to gather information for an article about the new restaurant.