#I actually haven’t had a Nutella sandwich in a while

[artificialcaretaker]

Migraine(???)s be so funny like I’ll be in pain and my thought process is “There is a heartbeat in my head. My brain is melting. I can feel my heart beating in my head I can hear it too and it hurts and I can’t focus on anything else” and then you’ll take something for it and feel a little better and immediately go Dude why did I say That. ??

[sunflowersunshinevol6]

Crawl Before You Walk

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Warnings: partying, drinking, forced kiss

Summary: Y/N has been friends with the Styles siblings for years. But when Y/N asks Harry for kissing lessons, their entire friendship is put on the line.

A/N: Harry is older in this fic than Gemma

I walk right into the Styles household. I’ve been friends with the Styles siblings since our day care days and it was never a problem for me to just come by after school for dinner or to hang out, their parents practically raised me, they’re more of a family to me than my own family. 

And that’s why I came over today. I need advice. Some help.

Harry Styles, is a senior, he’s like a big brother, one of my best friends, anytime Gemma and I get into some sort of shenanigans he’s there. Even though I’m about a year younger than him, we’ve bonded. I knock quietly on the door to his room, unsure if he’s even home. 

“It’s open,” I hear him call from inside, I push the door open to find him lying on his bed, no shirt on, sweat pants hanging low on his hips. He’s got one arm propped behind his head, the other reading some play. He looks up at me and smiles softly. “Hey Y/N. Gem will be home in a few. You can hang out if you want.” I sit on the edge of his bed, dropping my bookbag. 

“Actually….I’m here to see you,” He sets the book down on his chest, raising his eyebrow slightly. 

“Me?”

“Yeah.” He sits up, crossing his legs indian style. 

“What’s on your mind?” he asks. I feel my cheeks heat up, this is so embarrassing. 

“There’s this...there’s this boy I like.”

“Oh yeah?” he says, nudging me in a teasing manner, I relax, I can do this. 

“He wants to take me out on a date.”

“So what’s the problem,” I bite my lip, hesitant to continue. “You can tell me,” he coaxes. I take a deep breath. 

“I’ve never been kissed before.” I say finally. I can’t bare to look at him, to embarrassed. “I wanted to ask you if maybe...maybe you could teach me?”

“Teach you how to kiss?”

“Well you’ve had lots of girlfirends-”

“I wouldn’t say ‘lots’-”

“So you have experience. I have none.” he sighs, running his hand over his face. I feel awkward, my hands begin to sweat as I wait for his answer.

“You really like this kid huh?” I nod. 

“A lot. I don’t want to mess this up.” He’s quiet for a moment longer, I debate whether or not to just tell him it’s a joke and to forget it. 

“Okay." he startles me. I didn’t think it’d be that easy. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. Just this once.” he adds. I grin, he scoots back towards his headboard and I swing my legs up onto the bed, folding them beneath myself. 

“Thank you.” I say gratefully. 

“Don’t mention it...Like ever, to anyone after this okay?” I nod and he scoots closer to me now, I can smell his cologne and deodorant, he smells really good. Clean. “Everyone is different. Some people are good kissers, some are bad-”

“I’m probably bad.”

“Quiet.” he scolds me, before continuing his lecture. “Like I said everyone is different….But if this guy...If he tries anything you don’t like, you have the right to say no. You can tell him to stop.” He reaches up, brushing his fingers over my cheek gently. “Come here,” he whispers, I lean in, our lips meere inches apart. “He looks me in the eye, his eyes flicker to my lips from time to time. I feel something strange begin to vibrate within me. “You feel that?” he breathes against my lips, his breath is cool, and smells minty, I shiver. 

“Yeah.”

“Good. That’s a good sign.” slowly, tentativly, he presses his lips to mine. I don’t know what to do, I just sit there, letting his mouth move against mine, he pulls away, a small grin on his face. “You can kiss me back.”

“How?”

“Do what I do. Follow my lead,” I close my eyes this time as he brings his lips back to mine. I do what he says and move my lips against his, mimicking his actions. He reaches up, grasping the back of my head, the other hand gripping my lower arm. His lips are smooth and soft, pressing against mine over and over again. My hands grip the fabric of his sweats tightly. His tongue darts out, licking my bottom lip, I gasp and pull away. 

“Wow.” I say breathlessly. “What was that?”

“I was asking you for entrance.”

“Entrance?”

“To your mouth. Always ask. It’s not polite to just shove your tongue down someone’s throat.” we chuckle together, I feel something wet grow between my legs, I look back at him. 

“Can we try with tongue?” I ask. 

“Sure. C’mere.” I’m back in his arms, he kisses me slowly before licking me again, I open my mouth wide, moaning as his tongue begins to massage and wrestle mine. I continue following his lead, doing what he does. He sucks my tongue into his mouth and I squirm, unable to handle the growing warmth between my legs. He grabs my hips and I move, coming to sit in his lap. I run my fingers through his hair as he rubs his hands up and down my back. I’m nearly panting and desperate for relief from the tension building in me. I roll my hips slightly, causing him to stiffen. 

He pulls away too quickly, I chase his lips, only to open my eyes and see him grinning at me teasingly. 

“You’re a good kisser.” he compliments. 

“T...Thanks.” I stutter. “You are too.” we stare at each other, I’m still in his lap and I can feel something hard poking at me from his sweatpants. He reaches up to trace my bottom lip with his finger, I close my eyes again and lean into his touch. 

“Y/N...Y/N I-”

“Hey Harry! I’m home.” Gemma calls as we hear the from door open. I jump up from Harry's lap, straightening my clothes, he leans back cooly, resuming his position from when I first walked in. Gemma opens the door without knocking. 

“Oh Y/N you’re early.” I try to slow my pounding heart.

“Yeah. Harry said I could wait for you.”

“Well come on,” she nods towards the hallway, “I’ve got that dress for you to try on.” I pick up my book bag and follow her out of the room. Harry winks at me as I leave. 

---------------------

I dream about the kiss with Harry for days after it happens. I always wake up feeling wet between my legs and a faint throbbing feeling. I try to get off. I rub my skin raw, push my fingers in and out of myself. Nothing works. I work myself so hard I’m barely breathing, face nearly purple. But no matter what I do I can’t seem to get off. Still, the dreams persist. 

I avoid Harry when I’m at his house. If we’re sitting at the dinner table I’ll converse with Gemma or his mom. I always duck into Gemma's room if I hear him coming down the hall. I don’t know if I’m embarrassed or scared. He doesn’t seem to notice my growing awkwardness. He goes about his day as though nothing happened at all. 

“What is going on with you?” Gemma snaps me out of my head when she asks this. I look at her, she sits across from me, eating a nutella sandwich and studying me curiously. 

“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to keep my voice normal. I take a bite of my apple sauce. 

“You’ve been acting really weird all week. Always ducking into my room and hiding around the house….Do you have a crush on Harry?” I choke on my apple sauce, looking at her through watery eyes. 

“No! Absolutely not!” she chuckles, taking a bite of her sandwich. 

“Good. Cuz I was gonna say...gross.” I smile, but in the back of my mind I wonder if she would think that about me and Harry….Probably. We all did grow up together. “Seriously though,” she looks concerned now, lowering her voice. “Is it your dad again? Do you need to stay with us indefinitely like last time?” I stiffen, shaking my head. 

A few years ago things got really, really bad with my parents. The police got involved and I was sent to live with the Styles while they got their shit together. 

“No...I’m fine honest.” she doesn’t look like she believes me. I reach out and place my hand over hers. “I’m fine Gem. Honest.” she doesn’t push anymore, and we eat in awkward silence for a few minutes. 

I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts, I nearly jump out of my skin when someone’s hands cover my eyes. “Guess who?” the voice asks. I can hear Gemma giggling across from me. 

“Jeff Goldblum,” I guess. The person snickers, moving their hands and sitting down beside me. It’s Jake. I feel my stomach churn with butterflies. 

“Damn. I wish I was Jeff Goldblum.” He high fives Dylan who’s sat beside Jas now, his arm around her. Jake’s focus is on me. He scoots close, he smells like Old Spice. “Haven’t seen ya around in a couple days.” I shrug my shoulders. 

“I like to change my route to class. Keeps things interesting.” He smirks, his lips are soft and pink. Smooth. I wonder if they taste like Harry's. He notices my gaze and puts his finger under my chin, tilting my face up to look at him. 

“Spontaneous. I like that….I got a question for you.” I can feel Gemma’s eyes on me, my heart is pounding, anxiety rolling over my shoulders. 

“Yeah?” 

“You wanna go to Dylan’s party Friday night? I can pick you up if you want.” I smile, feeling relieved and excited at the same time. 

“Sure…” he grins. “I’d love to.” 

“Yes.” he pumps his fist in the air. The bell rings, ending our lunch. I stand up and he takes my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine, he brings them to his lips and kisses the back of my hand. His lips are really soft. They feel nice. “I’ll see you Friday night.” Gemma is jumping with excitement as we throw our trays away and head towards our next class. 

Friday arrives almost too quickly. I haven’t actually spoken to Harry since the kissing lesson, but when I arrive at the Styles house he’s there, in the living room, on the phone.He hangs up as I come in. 

“Hey,” I smile and make a bee line for Gemma’s room. “Wow. Wow. Wow.” He stops me, stretching his arm out to block my path. “What’s going on?” 

“What?”

“You’ve been acting weird. Ever since….” he raises his eyebrows. I roll my eyes and scoff. 

“You’re crazy. I am not-” he grabs my chin and brings my lips to his. My eyes close instantly as he wraps his arm around my waist. When he pulls away I think I see stars. “I thought you said kissing lessons only one time.” he smirks, his nose brushes mine. 

“I changed my mind.” He pulls away from me, taking my hand in his. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He pulls me towards the couch in the living room, I sit down beside him, sinking into the cushion. I pull my legs up under myself. 

“We’re going to a party at Dylan’s tonight.” 

“Jake taking you?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you kissed him yet?” I shake my head. He pats my knee reassuringly. 

“Don’t be nervous. You’re a great kisser. It’ll be fine.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what is it?”

“What if he wants...you know...to do...more,” Harry's neck turns a light shade of pink, he clears his throat, shifting in his spot. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to Y/N.”

“I know that.”

“And if he tries to force you I will take care of that.” I smile at the thought of Harry protecting me. I shake my head. 

“The thing is that I want to do it. I want to have sex and fall in love and make out and things like that,” Harry listens, his hand still on my knee, “But I can’t even get off on my own. How in the hell would I get a guy off?”

“It’s not that hard.”

“That’s what she said.” he grins at me, happy I got the joke. “I’m serious though. I can’t even masturbate right...Is there something wrong with me?”

“No. Some girls have trouble. There’s nothing wrong with that….What do you think about when you do it?” I’m surprised and pleased with the turn this conversation has taken, I really can talk to Harry about anything. 

“I don’t know...I kinda just….go at it.” he chuckles now, covering his mouth with his hand. HIs eyes crinkle and his whole body shakes. “What?” I ask offended. 

“You can’t just go at it….you need stimulation. To get turned on.”

“Oh.”

“So what turns you on?”

You. I think. I’ll never tell him that though. “I’m not sure.”

“What about the kissing….Did you feel anything when we kissed?” He’s looking at me the way he did when we first kissed. The first time he asked me if I felt something. I lick my lips, his eyes dart down and then back up to my eyes. I nod slowly. 

“Yeah. I felt warm.” 

“Aroused.” he says. 

“Aroused.” It sounds like a foreign concept coming from my mouth, the way it rolls off my tongue. 

“You’ll be fine. If you worry too much you won’t enjoy yourself.” he gets up from the couch and leans over me, pressing his lips to my forehead. I close my eyes, just being this close to him sends my stomach spinning. “If you need anything tonight. Even just a way out, call me. I’ll pick you girls up.” he drops his hand from me and walks away, leaving me alone on the couch. 

Dylan has a nice house. It’s big, and packed with people. The smell of sweat and alcohol and weed fills the air. I stayed by Gemma’s side most of the night, following her and Dylan around the house. Until Dylan whispered something in her ear. 

“Hey Y.N” Gemma pulls me to a corner and shouts in my ear. “I’m gonna go upstairs for a bit. You don’t have to wait for me.” I shake my head, waving her away, a druk couple stumbles past us. I hadn’t drank much at all tonight. 

“It’s fine I’ll wait. Have fun.” she winks at me and follows Dylan up the stairs. I find my way back to the living room. I stand awkwardly off to the side, watching people smoke and drink and act like idiots. It’s pretty amusing, the things people will do when they’re drunk. 

“Hey!” I feel a heavy arm drape over my shoulders. I look up to see Jake, smiling at me tipsily. His fingers brush over my bare shoulder. I’m wearing one of Gemma's dresses tonight. A sexy little off the shoulders black dress, it hugs my curves perfectly. “You enjoying yourself?” he asks. I nod my head and motion towards my ear, the music is loud, shaking the house with the base. Jake takes my hand, pulling me through the throngs of people, he leads me outside. 

“Ah..That’s much better,” I say, taking a deep breath. Jake stands in front of me. His eyes rake over my body. It bothers me, the way he’s looking at me. He tosses his empty beer can to the side and places his hands on my hips, he tips his head down so our noses brush. 

There’s no one around. Everyone else is inside, it’s a cold night. The wind raises the hairs on my flesh, giving me goosebumps. Not even Jake being this close can warm me. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous. You know that?” He doesn’t give me a chance to reply. He grabs my chin roughly and slams his lips to mine. His kiss is hard and rough. I slap at his shoulders as he pulls me closer, forcing his tongue into my mouth.I can barely breathe, my mind begins to cloud, I squirm, trying to get away. But he has me in a vice grip.  Panic seized me. He’s drunk and I’m alone, also quite a bit smaller than him. One of his hands slides down my back, barely brushing my ass. I shove at him, he staggers backwards, wiping his mouth. My mouth hurts and I’m shaking with fear. 

“Y/N!” I turn and run as fast as I can, kicking Gemma's heels off as I go. I’ll buy her a new pair later. 

My feet are sore and throbbing from pounding against the pavement, my body perspiring as I make my way up the steps to the Styles household. I’m exhausted, my adrenaline finally wearing off. I hope Jake isn’t mad at me. I think I overreacted. My mouth still hurts, I can still feel his slimy, tongue sliding down my throat. I grimace as I open the door and step inside quietly., The tv is on, someone’s up, I don’t pay attention to it. 

“Y/N,” I take a step back as a shadowy figure emerges from the living room. Harry walks towards me, his eyes wide with alarm. He reaches out and I rush into his arms. I’m scared and confused and embarrassed. Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I thought every kiss would be like Harry's. I don’t know. Harry holds me close, rubbing my back and whispering to me soothingly. 

“You’re safe Y/N. You’re safe.”

[detectivecarlosreyes]

In Case of Emergency (Ch 4/10)

Ao3 | 2.7/6.1k | Eventual Buddie | Status: Incomplete

Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 4: A shoulder to cry on  They haven't heard from Eddie in 3 days since Shannon's passing and Buck is worried. An additional scene set between 2x17 and 2x18

It was months later when Buck used Eddie’s key for the second time, half wishing it was for an actual emergency because at least then he would know what to do.

It had been three days since Shannon had passed away and he couldn’t help but worry about Eddie. Realistically, he knew that Eddie had Chris, his Abuela, and Tia to keep him company, but it wasn’t enough to stop him from worrying until he heard from or saw the man in person.

No one had heard a word from the man since the accident, not that he expected to hear from the grieving man, but all of his attempts to contact the man had him stonewalled and left on read with nary a reply, so he could only begin to imagine how the man was doing.

“Any word from Eddie?” He asked while they took the opportunity for a 3 pm lunch, passing Hen her sandwich, hoping that maybe he’d reached out to someone.

“Haven’t since the hospital,” Chim responded in between mouthfuls of his sandwich and looked to Hen who shrugged and shook her head empathetically.

“Last I spoke to him was when I let him know he could have a much time as he needed and that wasn’t much of a conversation.” Added Bobby as he packed away the sandwich fillings.

Buck nodded along in understanding but still feeling uneasy, unsure of what he could do to help his grieving partner. It takes him the rest of the shift to decide but eventually he figured it would be worth it to at least check on him in person on his way home after shift.

Before leaving the station, he sent a quick message to Eddie.

Me: I know you haven’t answered any of my other messages but thought I might stop by on my way home tonight, just thought I’d give you a heads up if you didn’t want me to.

Eddie: Read 8:28pm

It was nearing 9 pm by the time Buck made it to Eddie’s place. He intended to be there much earlier, but he ended up stopping along the way to pick up a Nutella pizza and beer figuring Eddie might like some comfort food.

Buck checked his phone when he parked outside Eddie’s house. Taking the lack of response as a sign that he didn’t not want him to come over. He slid the beer and pizza from the passenger seat into his lap before getting out and locking the truck.

As he walked up to the house, he hesitated a few steps from his Jeep briefly reconsidering this whole idea, doubt colouring his thoughts about whether or not he was overstepping just to give himself peace of mind. With a bite of his lip, he surged forward to the door pushing past the indecision and gave it a cursory knock before using the key to unlock it.

Upon entering, he could hear the faint sound of the tv as he tentatively made his way inside calling out to Eddie, wondering if he was even going to accept his presence. Moving through the house he passed the empty living room immediately noting the lack of Chris’ presence and energy within the walls despite the hour, the heavy weight of sorrow taking his place.

He found his partner in the kitchen peering absentmindedly into the fridge seemingly unaware Buck had been calling his name and watched as he startled slightly when he closed the fridge door having taken nothing out of it.

“Uh, hey man. Thought you might like some company.” Buck said cautiously, unable to read Eddie’s face like he normally could. Eddie’s eyes momentarily flickered with what looked to be gratitude before taking the beer out of his hand and carried it to the living room.

Taking that as an invitation to hang around, Buck followed him, concern blossoming in his chest. Eddie set the beer down, immediately taking one, and opened it as he collapsing on the couch. Buck did the same, placing the pizza down next to the beer and fell into the adjacent armchair.

The tv was quietly playing some kind of nature documentary and it was only now that Buck noticed looking around that most of the lights were off except the lamp sitting behind the couch bathing them in muted light.

He turned his attention back to Eddie, who has slouched down into the couch, staring glassy-eyed at the tv with the beer resting on his leg, untouched. He looked exhausted, with dark shadows under his eyes and hair mussed. It looked like he hadn’t shaved since Buck last saw him which, considering the circumstance was unsurprising. All in all, he looked like what you’d expect of a man who had recently lost his wife.

“I – Uh, brought a Nutella pizza, it’s not the healthiest of choices but I’ve always found that it’s surprisingly good comfort food. Though, you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.” Buck rambled, unsure of what else to say. Eddie barely acknowledged that he heard aside from a quick glance at him and the box, staying silent as he turned back to stare off in the direction of the tv.

Buck rubbed the back of his neck feeling kind of awkward, “Look, man. I don’t know how you must be feeling right now, but I’m here if you wanted someone to talk to or I can just sit here quietly…” he took in Eddie’s far off expression, “…or I can just go if that’s what you want.”

He moved to get up taking the quiet as an answer, but Eddie quickly snagged his wrist, halting his movement. Buck looked down at him, who in turn was looking up at him with glistening eyes.

It was then that Eddie uttered a small, “Don’t go, not yet.”

With a look like that, Buck couldn’t imagine being able to deny such a request, his heart just wouldn’t allow it.

He sat back down, choosing instead to take a seat next to Eddie on the couch, shuffling closer to him until their legs were pressed together. Eddie sagged into the couch following Buck’s seating choice and released what sounded to be a relieved sigh, seemingly taking comfort in the contact. After some moments he leaned forward and set the still untouched beer on the coffee table and then rested his forearms on his knees with his hands hanging between them and head bowed.

“The house is so quiet when Chris isn’t here, even when he’s asleep it never feels like this. My Abuela and Tia have been here ever since they found out about the accident but today, they thought it might be a good idea for Chris to stay with them tonight just so I could have some time for myself to process.”

He absentmindedly reached for a slice of pizza and took a small bite of it before setting it on top of the box, “I just don’t know what to do with myself. The funeral is a day from now, my family and her family are coming, and I have no idea of what I’m going to do or say.”

He continued, voice now thick with emotion, “I was ready to be a family again, I thought we were having another kid together and then we weren’t. I was ready to be a family again and she wanted a divorce and then she died just like that,” Eddie choked back a sob, “Even after all of that and everything that we went through, I still loved her.”

It was then that he started to cry in full force over this admittance, letting the grief and the emotions that were mingled in with it flow through him through his tears.

Not knowing what to say, Buck did the only thing he could think to do and silently wrapped a supportive arm around Eddie’s shoulders as he crumpled in on himself.

Eddie’s body shook with the heavy sobs as he turned his head into Buck’s shoulder, soaking the material of his shirt with his tears. Feeling his heart break for the man that he’s grown to care for, Buck rubbed soothing circles into Eddie’s shoulder as he cried, knowing there was nothing that he could say that would ease this kind of pain.

They stayed like that for some time, Buck just holding Eddie until the flow of tears start to dry up and Eddie pulled away, wiping at his face and looking embarrassed. Buck let his arms fall away, allowing Eddie as much space as he wanted.

“Sorry, I’m never like–”

Buck interrupted him with a stalling hand before he could finish what he was about to say, “Don’t say another word, you have nothing to apologise for. I’m here for you, whatever you need, even if it meant just being a shoulder to cry on.”

“Thank you,” breathed Eddie softly as he gave him a small smile.

“Did you want me to stay?” Buck asked gently, seeing now that Eddie might need the company.

He watched as Eddie slouched down and rest his head on the back of the couch, tilting his head to the side look at him. “Could you? You make it feel less quiet, you always do.”

Buck slumped down, mirroring Eddie as he took in the smoothed lines of his face in the glow of the tv, making himself more comfortable while keeping his knee in contact with Eddie’s.

“Okay then, I’ll stay.” He breathed, knowing that he would do anything Eddie asked of him

They stayed like that for a couple of hours, with Buck quietly telling Eddie about all the calls that he had missed over the last couple of days, embellishing where he could. Eddie for his part, did his best to respond and ask questions when appropriate, but as the time passed, his answers shortened and started turning into hums, and eventually he slid sideways against Buck, lightly snoring.

Buck carefully moved out from under him and gently set him down on the couch, lifting his feet up so that he was lying more comfortably on his side. He then went to Eddie’s room and grabbed the comforter and a pillow and brought them back to the lounge room, easing the pillow under his friend’s head before draping the comforter over him.

With hands on his hips, he tore his gaze from the sleeping man to survey the rest of the room and decided to, at the very least, clear up the coffee table, gathering the beers and pizza, moving them to the kitchen. Placing both onto the bench, he scratched his head in dismay.

There were a number of dishes piled up beside and in the sink. It looked as though nothing had been washed in a few days, that is not to say that Eddie didn’t have or use his dishwasher, he did, except for the fact that it was currently half full of clean dishes.

Realising that it was too late to get stuck into them now as it was past midnight and not wanting to wake Eddie with the clattering of dishes, Buck made a mental note to tackle the cleaning in the morning and instead put both the pizza and what was left of the beer in the fridge.

When he returned to the living room, he kicked off his shoes and set them by the door before grabbing the blanket draped on the back of the armchair and settled into the chair for the night watching the quiet rise and fall of Eddie’s chest, letting the rhythm lull him to sleep as he kept his promise to stay.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

Eddie woke up suddenly for no discernible reason, confusion muddling his thoughts as he took in his surroundings. Why was he sleeping on the couch? And how did his comforter and pillow get from his bedroom to the living room? He jolted upright, now realising that the reason he woke up was because there were noises coming from the kitchen.

A quick surge of panic rose within him and he threw back the comforter preparing to defend himself against the intruder as he heard the footfalls travelling towards the kitchen doorway. Almost as quickly as it had come, the panic vanished and was replaced by relief as soon as Buck came into view carrying two mugs of coffee, bringing forth the memory of the night before.

“Morning.” Buck greeted as he set down a mug in front of Eddie on the coffee table before sighing and falling into the armchair.

Looking him up and down, Eddie noticed that Buck was wearing exactly the same clothing as he was the night before, minus the shoes. The blanket that was usually folded and draped on the back of the armchair was now bundled and spilling over the arm.

Eddie took a sip of the coffee, watching Buck as he did so.

“You stayed.” He murmured over the lip of the mug, both unsurprised and surprised that the man had stayed in the awkward chair for the night just because he asked him to stay.

“I said that I would,” answered Buck easily.

They fell into a companionable silence after that, not feeling a need to fill the air with words, instead sipping contentedly at their coffees. It wasn’t until he had finished half of the mug that Buck announced that he answered a call from Pepa on Eddie’s phone earlier, saying that she would be over with Christopher in an hour or so.

Once their coffees were drained, they straightened up the living room, gathering up the bedding from the couch and took it back to the bedroom, it was here that Buck cleared his throat, “Hey, Eds.”

Eddie hummed in response, focusing on smoothing out the comforter.

“I know we’ll be on shift when the funeral is scheduled, but if you want, I’ll ask Bobby if we can stop by…”

“You don’t have to Buck, it’s okay if you guys can’t make it, I’ll have my family there,”

“I want us to. To be there for you.”

Touched by his insistence, Eddie looked up and gave him a small smile, “That would be nice.”

Buck matched his smile with one of his own, “Okay then.”

And that was that. Buck left shortly after once everything was in order, claiming that Eddie should take some time to himself to clean up and sort himself before his son came home, to which he didn’t disagree as he ran a hand across his jawline.

It was only after Buck had left and Eddie had taken a shower did he notice that the laundry hamper in the bathroom was void of any clothes causing him to do a double take. Puzzled, he headed to the laundry, still wrapped in his towel, only to discover two neatly stacked piles of freshly washed and dried clothes, one for him and one for Christopher.

He smiled to himself taking his stack to his bedroom and got dressed. Stomach now grumbling from the lack of breakfast, Eddie made his way to the kitchen to discover that Buck had also cleaned every inch of the kitchen. All the dishes had either been washed by hand and stacked or been put in the dishwasher which was only a few minutes away from finishing its cycle.

He opened the fridge revealing the last surprise of the morning, a jug of pancake batter with a post-it note attached to it, “Eat Me! :)” was inscribed on it in Buck’s scrawl causing Eddie to actually chuckle to himself, something that he didn’t think was possible since Shannon had passed. He pulled out his phone and send Buck a text.

Me: I hope that note isn’t suggesting that these pancakes will make me a giant like Alice. Me: Thanks again for everything you’ve done.

Buck’s response was almost immediate.

Buck: Can’t say I can promise anything about the pancakes ;) Buck: No worries man, I said I’d have your back.

Eddie smiled at the phone before putting it in his pocket and turned his attention to making some pancakes wondering how he could even come close to returning the favour. As it turned out, that opportunity came about sooner than he expected.

[hermannsthumb]

The prompt thing: Sailing and lemonade? :)

10. Sailing + 19. Lemonade

from (last year’s) summer prompts meme here

probably takes place in some line of continuity where they’re visiting newt’s childhood haunts or smthin post-movie

——————–

The worst part of it all is that Hermann wouldn’t have half as high expectations if Newton hadn’t spent all week talking the bloody thing up. Hermann’s not all that hard to please when it comes to being romanced, you know–a near complete lack of experience in the matter means his standards are not only low, but practically nonexistent. All Newton need do is brush his teeth and put on a shirt untainted by extraterrestrial gore and Hermann would go anywhere with him, frankly.

They landed in Boston a week ago, in the midst of a nasty thunderstorm that delayed them by at least two hours. Newton held Hermann’s arm and the umbrella while they waited for Newton’s father to pick them up. He was scowling at the sky. “I wanted to take you out on the boat tonight,” he said. “I had a whole thing planned.”

“Boat?” Hermann echoed curiously. He wasn’t aware Newton had a boat, nor that he even knew how to sail. Newton never struck him as much of an outdoorsy type. Or an athletic type. 

Newton grinned. “My dad and I used to go out on it all the time when I was a kid. It’s been tied up at the docks for years now, but it should still work.”

“Oh,” Hermann said. How perfectly New England of Newton. Barring a brief stint on the rowing team as an undergraduate, Hermann has been on precisely one boat in his life–a research rig in Hong Kong, on which he hitched a ride for a closer examination of the Breach. He imagined Newton’s ship to be of the more casual variety. “And you wanted to take me out on it?”

At this, Newton gave his arm a small squeeze. “Of course!”

The two of them, alone, on a sailboat together–or perhaps even a small yacht. Yes, a yacht, that was far more likely. How terribly romantic. Hermann squeezed his arm back. “I’d like that very much, Newton.”

The week leading up to their sailing excursion only cemented the romance of the idea for Hermann. Newton certainly provided enough hints between their guest lectures and Geiszler-led city tours: allusions to a romantic dinner by starlight, prepared by Newton himself; a gold foil-top bottle of what was clearly champagne tucked hastily out of sight when Hermann entered the room one night; references to how alone they’d be, how much privacy they’d have, how Newton couldn’t wait to spend that private, alone time with Hermann (and, here, Hermann could only assume Newton wanted to engage in the obvious with him–because they’ve been dancing around it since a rather heated night spent together following the collapse of the Breach–and on a sailboat-yacht at that, how romantic, how terrifically naughty).

Early this morning Newton roused him and told him, excitedly, they would be going out on the boat around noon, and Hermann put on his sailing best (white linen and an oversized sunhat) and sunblock and packed certain necessary supplies into a waist-bag and pretended not to notice Newton slip the champagne into his own bag, and they caught a train, and then a bus, and then walked out to the pier, where Hermann gazed from yacht to sailboat to yacht excitedly and tried to pinpoint the one he and Newton would take for a day of lounging, and sunning, and trysts at sea--

As it turns out, it’s none of them.

“A paddle boat,” Hermann says. “You–you have a paddle boat.”

It’s not a question. He already knows the answer: yes, Newton has a paddle boat. A small paddle boat, in fact. A small, rusted paddle boat, with a sun-faded awning, and barely enough space to fit the large cooler Newton’s brought along with them. Newton hefts it on anyway. “A paddle boat!” he exclaims happily. There’s a sea monster painted on the side.

“Newton,” Hermann says. He raps his cane on the dock. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly–”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Newton cuts in smoothly. “I’m doing all the work! You just need to sit back and relax.”

Hermann gives a loud, skeptical hum.

They get in the boat, Hermann with some assistance. It sways dangerously beneath them. “How long has it been since you’ve, ah, taken this out?” Hermann says. Both sets of pedals are also rusted. To avoid tangling himself up in the ones on his side, Hermann’s had to resort to sitting in a rather awkward splay of limbs, his cane tucked behind them with the cooler.

“I told you,” Newton says. “Years and years! Okay, hold on.”

He begins to pedal them out. The uneven bob of the boat on the waves, along with Newton’s grunts of effort, the squeaking of the gears, and the hot sun beating down on Hermann even through his sunhat and the awning, is not exactly what Hermann would call relaxing. The opposite, in fact. Closing his eyes just makes it worse. “Where are we going?” Hermann finally says.

“There’s a good fishing spot a little bit ahead,” Newton says.

A chill runs down Hermann’s spine. “We’re fishing?”

“There are some old rods stashed in the back compartment,” Newton says, grinning broadly. “Man, I can’t wait. This is going to be so great.”

The first warning sign–Hermann thinks–should’ve been that Newton wore a fishing vest over his Hawaiian shirt. The second should’ve been his ridiculous fish-patterned hat. Hermann debates diving overboard and paddling back to shore, but it’s a long bit away, and he ultimately decides the risk of drowning isn’t worth it. He’s never been the strongest swimmer.

They reach Newton’s quote-unquote good spot. Newton stops pedaling. “Okay, one second,” he says, and begins twisting and turning in his seat. Hermann gets a multicolored elbow to the face twice before Newton finally re-emerges with two fishing rods. He thrusts one at Hermann. “That’s for you. Lemme get the bait.”

Three elbow jabs to the face. “Newton,” Hermann snaps, finally shoving the man off of him. “Mind your bloody step.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t reach!” Newton says.

He drops the cooler between his legs, and, to Hermann’s distress, opens it to reveal not a lovely homemade dinner, but a very large container of worms. Live worms. “Marvelous,” Hermann sighs, as Newton pops the lid and tugs one out.

“Alright, dude,” Newton says, pulling up the end of his fishing line, “so it’s really easy, you just–”

Newton makes to jam the worm down onto his fishing hook. He stops. He tries again. He stops again. He does this two more times, then turns big, sad eyes on Hermann. The worm wriggles between his fingertips. “I can’t do it,” he says.

Hermann takes the worm from him and puts it back in the container. Newton has always had a soft spot for even the most insignificant of creatures, often to his own detriment: he kept a pet snake in the laboratory for a bit (before pawning it off on a somewhat unenthusiastic Mako Mori), and teared up every single time he fed it a mouse, and once cried for ten minutes when a rather pretty-looking moth fried itself to death on his desk lamp. “It’s alright, Newton,” he says. He pats Newton’s hand. “We can try another day, with lures instead. Yes?”

“Yeah,” Newton says, and nods. 

The dinner Hermann expected may be nonexistent, but he knows he wasn’t imagining the champagne, and–frankly–he thinks he could use some right about now. Even if it’s that horrid pink kind Newton is obsessed with. “You know,” he says, airily, “I’m a bit thirsty. I don’t suppose you, ah, brought anything I could have? Some water, or…?”

Newton’s face splits into a grin. “I did! I was going to save it for dinner, but we can have both now!”

He reaches into a pocket of his fishing vest and pulls out a plastic bag. Upon closer inspection, Hermann discovers it contains two badly-squished sandwiches leaking…something. “One has Nutella and the other has Fluff,” Newton says. “Take your pick. I forgot where I put–oh!”

The bottle with gold foil is produced from his tote bag beneath his seat. In the daylight, in proper view, it looks markedly less like champagne, and far more like the sparkling lemonade it is. “Lovely,” Hermann sighs, and selects the less squished sandwich of the two.

The lemonade is actually quite good, and the sandwich edible enough, and Hermann finds that if he closes his eyes just right, it sort of feels like they’re on a better boat. Not a yacht by any means, but–perhaps a sailboat. And he really is pleased to have alone time with Newton. Newton, who was so excited about taking Hermann out–who packed them sandwiches, and lemonade, and tried to teach Hermann how to fish–who’s been nothing but sweet and kind to Hermann all day.

“Are you having fun?” Newton says. He sounds anxious. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it was a paddle boat, I just thought you–”

Hermann cups his jaw and kisses him gently. The tension sags from Newton’s shoulders. “It’s all perfect, Newton,” Hermann tells him, and he finds he actually means it. “Really, perfect.”

“That’s good,” Newton says. “That’s awesome. Ha!” 

They smile at each other.

“What did you bring a fanny pack for?” Newton says.

Hermann’s smile falters, only slightly. “Er. I’ll show you tonight.”

[purplesurveys]

805

First, a few randoms... Do you know anyone who can speak more than 5 languages fluently? Not that I know of, though I won’t be surprised if I find out some Filipinos I know fit into this category just because of how many languages we have. Is there a boiler or heater in the room that you're in? There is aaaaaabsolutely no need for a heater anywhere in this country, lmao. What we need are a gazillion aircon units everywhere.

Do you read magazines? Not anymore. The last time I encountered magazines, it was back when my lola would still collect celebrity and high society magazines and I would read them whenever I came over her place. Other than that, I haven’t bought a magazine for myself in like seven years. Did you ever get a detention for doing something by accident? We don’t get detention. But no, I’ve never been in trouble for something like this before. Would you rather write an essay on global warming or UFOs? Global warming. UFOs are more entertaining, but there’s been more research done on global warming so it’ll be easier to write something informative on it.

Have you ever worked with a mixing desk? No, I’ve only seen them in real life. Cheeseburger with fries or Toasty Sandwich and Garlic Sticks? Do you know me? Burger, duh. Do you like sailing? When was the last time you went, if at all? I don’t think I’ve ever been sailing before. Pokemon; do you like it? Favourite Pokemon? I liked it a lot more as a kid. Now whenever I see Pokemon references on the internet I kinda just give a slight smile to myself to acknowledge the nostalgia. My favorite Pokemons as a kid were Chikorita and Ho-oh. Do you or have you done martial arts? Which type? No. Enrolling your kids in taekwondo classes was super popular when I was younger, but I was more interested in ballet and swimming at the time. Can you tell the difference between Japanese and Chinese language? Yes, their manner of speaking is different and their words are also very different. I think Japanese and Korean are harder to distinguish, actually. Strawberry, Raspberry, Blackcurrant or no Jam/Jelly? No jam for me. Please give me Nutella instead, haha. Strawberry or Orange Jelly/Jell-O? Pass. Answer with your first response. Don't look below! Name a colour: Pink Town Name: A******* Girls’ name: Olivia Type of drink: Beer A word that begins with 'L': Ladder A film title: Breakfast at Tiffany’s A mood or emotion: Happy A type of sandwich: Clubhouse Name a Colour Is this your favourite colour? Yes. At first I used to say it ironically, but there was one time when I bought school supplies and I realized they were literally all pink, and I realized that it had actually turned out to be my favorite color for real, lol. Are your eyes this colour? Definitely not. I think for this to be possible you’d have to be wearing contacts. Is this colour one of the colours in your country’s flag? No. Close enough, red and white are in the Philippine flag haha. Does this colour make you feel the mood/emotion named above? Sure, it does. Are you wearing this colour now? No, I’m wearing all black at the moment. Town Do you live in or near this town? I live in it, hence me censoring it out lol.  Have you ever gone shopping in this town? No. The malls here are pretty ehhhh when it comes to clothes, so I prefer going to the city whenever I need to get new stuff for my closet. How many E's are in the name of this town? Zero. Describe this town in 5 or less words? Little boring, but still home. Girls Name Is this the name of a famous celebrity? I can give you a couple of celebrities named Olivia, so sure I guess. There’s Olivia de Havilland (kween shit), Olivia Newton-John, Olivia Wilde, Olivia Munn, etc. Is one of your close friends called this? No. If I did I’d tell them on a regular basis how much I like their name lolol. Would you like this name to be your middle name? Nope, I’m satisfied with my own name. Does this name begin with the same letter of your name? No, but it's the same as the second letter. What does this name mean- look it up on www.behindthename.com? Google says it’s just derived from the Latin oliva, which means olive/olive tree. Pretty straightforward. Name a word, place or another name that rhymes with this name? Bolivia. Type of Drink Is this the last thing you drank? Hell no, you will rarely catch me drinking this. The only time I’d be seen drinking beer is if I’m at a bar that serves only that. Do you drink this drink often? See above. Does this drink make you hyper? It makes me just a little bit drunk, which yeah, when that happens I do get hyper. What do you like about this drink? Nothing. Word Beginning with L Is this word the name of an emotion? No, it is an object. Does this word have a D in it? Yes, two of them. Can you hold whatever this thing beginning with L is? It’s tangible, if that’s what you mean. But I can also literally hold one right now if I wanted to since we have a ladder stored in the rooftop bodega. Does this L word make a noise? If it falls, it would definitely make a lot of noise. Another L word that describes your L word? Long. Film Title Is this one of your favourite films? It used to be, now it’ll probably settle in my top 20 or 30. Audrey Hepburn has better films. Who are the central characters? Who plays them? Holly Golightly is played by Audrey Hepburn while her love interest, Paul Varjak, is played by George Peppard. Do you love this film? Yes. There are some things I’d change from the film as a whole, but the ending is very beautiful and makes me cry every time I watch it. Is this film title either two or three words? It is, actually. Three words. Is there a noun in this film’s title? Yup. Mood or Emotion Do you feel this way now? Mmmm I guess kinda? I’m finally done with my antibiotics and I can finally drink coffee and the bottles of soju I have stored in the fridge!!!!!!!!!! I also don’t feel too hot at the moment and I feel quite relaxed taking this survey so yeah, there’s little to complain about right now. Does this describe your life so far? No. Life is a different story, lol. A similar mood or emotion to the one you named? Elated. Are you ashamed or annoyed about feeling this emotion or mood? Not at all. I barely feel it nowadays, so whenever it’s here I make sure it has a good stay.

Sandwich Does it contain lettuce? Yes it does.

Does it have a sauce in (mayo, salad cream, mustard)? Yes, it has some kind of mayo in it. I haven’t had a club sandwich in a while though so I can’t really remember the exact type of mayo it has. When was the last time you had this type of sandwich? Like I said, a while. It has probably been years. I only regularly ordered this sandwich as a kid because I thought it would make me part of some sort of club loooooool, but like it was never my favorite or anything. Does it contain anything the colour you named above? Eh sure? I guess ham counts as pink.

[drinkfantasy]

tag game ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

50 questions you’ve never been asked before

I was tagged by @ohwaitimthewriter tysm, 

what is the color of your hairbrush?

It’s actually a comb made of wood, so brown. 

are you typically too warm or too cold?

you mean literally...? Too warm.

what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

I was in class

what is your favorite candy bar?

Not into candy bars that much.. but i used to love kitkat and twix

have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Nope

what is the last thing you said out loud?

how fluflly and chubby my cat is and how much love him. He happily agreed while still eating, that little greedy blob of fluff... not that little tho lol

 what is your favorite ice cream?

I’d say salted caramel. I can’t have any other flavor since I tried that goddamn ice cream, I haven't lived until the thing touched my lips. oh my.

what was the last thing you had to drink?

Coffee

do you like your wallet?

I guess..

what was the last thing you ate?

Peanut butter and Nutella sandwich (breakfast)

did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

nope, im broke af.

 i just realized that i havent bought new clothes in years, dude... o.o 

the last sporting event you watched?

I don’t really watch sport nor TV

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Traditional... 

who is the last person you sent a text message to?

To my therapist

ever go camping?

YES. I LOVE IT AND  MISS IT T.T

do you take vitamins?

YES

do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope.

do you have a tan?

I’m a redhair too, so the only thing i get is red all over than a very weird zebra look 😂

do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

PIZZA

do you drink your soda with a straw?

YES. 

but I have those reusable ones

what color socks do you usually wear?

hmm, I hate socks so I barely have them, when I do they're either white or black

do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't know how to drive yet...

what terrifies you?

I don't have any specific phobia, but the thought of an unfulfilled life terrifies me for sure

look to your left, what do you see?

Water bottle and lamp

what chore do you hate?

All of them, I wish I were rich so I could pay people to do that for me srsly. I hate!!!! it never ends... IT NEVER ENDS!!!

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

the bunny form the Rise of the Guardians movie and huntsman spiders o.o

what’s your favorite soda?

Coca cola

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Neither of them. When I really miss getting sick to much stomach I just fry some stuff at home and then eat them and regret my whole existence

who’s the last person you talked to?

To my dad

favorite cut of beef?

I’m vegan, so I like my cow alive and happy

last song you listened to?

I Giorni  (arr. for violin, piano and string) Ludovico Einaudi, Daniel Hope

IM IN LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL *-*

last book you read?

The power of now.. still reading tho.. along with 3 other books. 

favorite day of the week?

Saturday

can you say the alphabet backwards?

Err... 

how do you like your coffee?

I like my coffee like i like myself. strong and brazilian

favorite pair of shoes?

Barefoot

the time you normally go to sleep?

Around 22h

the time you normally get up?

Around 6 or 7am. it depends on the day

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunsets 🌇

how many blankets on your bed?

One

describe your kitchen plates

I barely have them... srsly they're all glass, all them 3 lol

do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?

Hm.. wine and there's thing drink they make here in brazil which you mix wine with condensed milk and MY DUDES THAT THING IS DELICIOUS AND HOW IT GETS YOU DRUNK love it.

do you play cards?

Not really but would love to learn

what color is your car?

In my dreams it’s black

can you change a tire?

nope

favorite job you’ve ever had?

Heiress. Never been one but would love to.. Srsly. 

it’s work. everything i do for obligation sucks. I just wish i were rich and didn't have to worry about my dues so i could actually devote my time to my passions and helping people. 

how did you get your biggest scar?

Suicide attempt on my wrist. BUT IM FINE NOW. it’s been years and the scars healed pretty well. I barely remember them and they don't bother me any longer

what did you do today that made someone else happy?

Huh, nothing... but hey it's only 9am!

I tag @supersoldierslover @glitterghost @dead-welsh-king @shawn-and-harry and whoever wants to join in!

[xwaywardhuntress]

You’re Not From This World (Part Six)

Summary: Imagine the boys get sent to an alternate reality again without you, which leaves you stuck with the Winchester look-alikes, Jensen Ackles, and Jared Padalecki.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader, Jensen Ackles x alternate world!reader

Warnings: Both worlds POV

Words: 2500+

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. This is fanfiction only. Please do not redistribute my writings on other sites, horrible or not. Thanks!

Part One, Two, Three, Four, Five

“So your first name on your birth certificate is…?” Dean questioned, more for verbal confirmation.

“It’s Y/N…”

“Wow, I was not – I was not expecting that.” Dean chuckled.

“To be honest, the character’s name is what caught my attention in the first place. I haven’t really told anyone, except for Jensen, but I think he forgot…” Cat took another bite. “You’ve probably noticed that I act awkwardly around you. And yes, it is because you look exactly like him.”

Dean played it off poorly, “No, not at all. We’re technically strangers to each other anyways.”

She smiled, aware that the older Winchester was trying to be nice about it. “I feel like we could be more acquaintances than strangers.” She commented with a smirk. “I’d say I know enough about you from the show that we wouldn’t be entire strangers.”

“Fair point.” Dean agreed. “Not sure if I know enough about you to say the same. The only thing I know now is that you have the same first name as Y/N.”

“Touche.” Cat chuckled. “What do you want to know?”

“Alright, why do you feel awkward around this Jensen guy?” He asked, a bit hesitant at first.

Cat sighed, “I had a feeling that question would be asked eventually. To keep the story short. I fell for him and I don’t know how to act around him anymore. When I first started on Supernatural, you could say we were two peas in a pod, but then I realized how I felt and it just..”

“…it made you overthink about everything?” Dean assumed the end of her sentence.

She looked up, a bit surprised. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Dean smiled at her, “As quoted by someone pretty smart…” He looked over at his sleeping brother. “Just tell him how you feel. Now I can’t confirm he’ll return the same feelings. He’d be stupid not too, in my opinion. But if he does, at least you didn’t waste years of pining over him or sleeping with other people when you could’ve been with him.”

“Someone got wiser.” Cat commented, finishing her Nutella sandwich.

“I also had a nagging brother but it was her that really made me realize how stupid I was all those years. Now, I can’t imagine my life without her.” He smiled at the thought of Y/N.  

“You two are goals.” Cat yawned. “I think it’s time to go to bed for me. Tomorrow…err in a few hours now, we’ll figure out a way to get you and Sam back to your world. Everything will be okay.” She smiled at him as she got up and then headed to the other queen bed that was empty.

Dean nodded his head and then went back to his sofa bed. Cat definitely shared the positivity that his Y/N had. He could only wonder how similar Jensen was to him as he drifted off to sleep.

- - -

Waking up to noises coming from the bunker entrance area, you stretched out in your shared bed with Dean. You weren’t used to how roomy the bed was with only a single person. Reaching out to check your phone for the time, it read almost 7am. Normally, you would’ve slept in longer but right now, you were technically working a case. You got up and changed into a t-shirt with flannel and some ripped jeans, as you shoved your phone into your butt pocket. Heading out into the war table room, you spotted Jared already up and researching.

Before you could ask where Jensen was, he appeared beside you, holding out a cup of coffee. “Coffee with sugar?” He asked.

You rose an eyebrow, taking the mug. “How did you know that?”

“Lucky guess.” Jensen smiled as he returned back to his seat across from Jared in front of a pile of books.

You followed him to the table where the boys sat at.

“Cat takes her coffee the same way. I took my chances and based it off of that.” The older actor admitted.

“Oh. I was about to say you two have grown quite accustomed here in the bunker. It’s almost like your actually Dean and Sam. It’s kind of creepy.” You shared, taking a sip of your coffee.

“We’re just doing what we would be acting out, except we’re actually doing it.” Jared stated.

Jensen looked at his friend with a did-you-hear-yourself look.

The tall actor shrugged in his chair. “What? It makes sense to me and she understood. Right Y/N?” He asked rhetorically as he continued. “Oh! I talked to Cas earlier. He said Remph might take a while longer to recover. Apparently, he didn’t just send Dean and Sam to another world, he also sent back the witch’s victims back to the worlds they came from too. Apparently, that’s what drained Remph’s energy yesterday. Also, there might’ve been something else, but I think that was the gist of it.”

You sighed, “Great. So Cas – ”

“Yes, Y/N?” The angel appeared beside you.

You almost spilled your coffee from his sudden appearance. “Cas, what have Dean and I said about popping up out of nowhere?! And you couldn’t just walk through the bunker to come here instead?”

“Sorry, I heard my name spoken twice and thought it was urgent.” Cas responded. The angel wouldn’t admit it, but watching over Remph wasn’t the greatest.

“Well since you’re here. What’s the ETA for the angel’s recovery to be able to get Dean and Sam back and these two back to their home?”

Cas’s eyebrows creased together. “I’m not sure. Traveling through different universes takes a huge amount of energy without using spells or other means.”

“It’s never easy for us, is it?” You muttered, more to yourself.

“What about Rowena?” Jared asked casually.

Jensen had an idea of where his friend was going with his question as he spoke hesitantly, “I don’t know man. Usually, in the show, she only helps if she gets something in return.”

“I have also been unable to locate her lately. I believe she must be using some kind of spell from the grimoire to hide.” The angel chimed in.

The boys continued chatting, debating if they should reach out to Rowena and if they did, how would they contact her.

You knew from the moment Jared brought up Rowena that Dean would’ve said no right away. However, desperate times called for desperate measures. To make the choice easier for everyone, you actually had a way to contact Rowena. You set your cup of coffee on the table and pulled out your phone from your back pocket. “Guys…” You spoke aloud, but the boys were too busy in the discussion. This time you cleared your throat. “Boys! I have a way to contact Rowena.”

All the boys looked over at you as you held your phone up.

“I have a number I can try calling. She gave it to me a while back and told me not to tell Dean and Sam. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to keep it, just in case.” You confessed.

“If you think it’s the right move, I trust you Y/N.” Jensen shared. Jared agreed.

It surprised you a bit to have both boys have that much confidence in you. If it were the Winchesters, Sam was usually the one to back you up most of the time. Dean’s need to keep you safe played a huge role in decisions from time to time, which would lead to you two arguing. However, 70% of the time the team still ended up going with your idea.

Castiel looked skeptical. “Y/N…Dean wouldn’t  – “

“I know, Cas. But he’s not here right now.” You stated as you searched through your contacts and pressed the call button.

The phone rang a couple of times before a Scottish accent answered. “Hello, dearie. And what do I owe for this pleasantly nice unexpected call?”

You sighed. “I need your help.” You admitted. Just get straight to the point and get it over with. You thought to yourself.

“Oh my. The Y/N in need of my help? How could I say no?” Rowena teased.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Rowena.” You answered sternly.

“Alright dear, enough of the games. Is it just you or the poor boys too?” The redhead asked nonchalantly.

You looked over at Jensen and Jared. “Me…” Turning to face away from staring eyes, you walked over to Castiel. “…but it concerns Dean and Sam too.”

“What sort of trouble have you and the boys brewed up this time?”

Y/n went on to explain the situation of the Winchesters being switched with alternate versions of themselves, keeping out certain details such as the angel that was currently resting in one of the bunker rooms. When asked what happened to the witch that Rowena acted ignorantly but was curious about, you shared you killed her. Rowena never mentioned the angel, to which you were glad you didn’t mention him either.

“I may be able to help. I may recall a particular spell that could create portals to other realities. However, the ingredients are…” Rowena paused for a moment on the phone. “…interesting.”

“What ingredients do we need exactly?” Y/N asked.

“Oh, a fruit from the tree of life, the seal of Solomon, the blood of a most holy man, and an arch angel’s grace.” The witch listed.

“That’s great, I have no idea where to get any of those items without researching.” You shared, knowing that those items all sounded like they would be difficult to find, especially an arch angel’s grace.

There was silence on the phone for a moment before Rowena let out a breath of air. “Bullocks!” Rowena expressed aloud.

You stayed silent on the phone, waiting to see what the witch’s outburst was about.

“You’re lucky I like you more than the Winchesters, dear. I know of someone who was collecting those items. I don’t know why, but I suppose if you take care of her, then that is one less wee witch in the world to worry about.” The redhead shared.

“One witch, to take care of? That doesn’t sound too hard. How does this benefit you?” You asked cautiously.

“Just make sure to tell your loverboy that I helped you get him back. This should make up for my part in the witch’s actions.” Rowena finally admitted. She continued to give an address, which you wrote down next to Cas.

Before hanging up, Rowena shared she would head to the bunker while you went to gather the ingredients. She also warned you, “Be careful not to mention that you just killed her daughter. A mother’s wrath is something you want to avoid, dear.” And then she hung up.

Of course, it would be Remi’s mother that you had to get the ingredients from.

The boys were looking at you as they didn’t quite understand what happened in the conversation. Before they could ask, you spoke up first. “I’m going out for a while. There’s another witch that I need to go collect ingredients from. Rowena should be here in a couple of hours.”

“We can go with you.” Jared offered.

“No, you two are staying here with Cas.” You looked from the actors to the angel.

Immediately, Jensen and Jared were opposed to staying. They both wanted to help as they felt slightly responsible for bringing up Rowena in the first place.

“Whatever favor she asked of you, we should help. We brought her up.” Jensen tried arguing.

“This time she didn’t ask for anything. And I think it’s because she knows we know she helped Remi. I also think she might be a bit worried that Dean will want to go after her when he gets back. So, her doing this as a favor to us is basically for her own survival purposes. Look, witches aren’t the biggest fans of the Winchesters. Once they spot you two, you guys will be targets. I can’t watch out for myself and you two.” You explained.

Castiel was about to suggest that he should come instead, when you continued speaking, “Cas, you need to keep an eye on Remph. You may need to hide his presence once Rowena shows up as well.”

“I don’t like this.” Jensen stated, which reminded you a lot of Dean.

You smiled at him, “It’ll be a piece of cake. I’ll be back before you guys know it.” With that said, you left to go pack your things. Then you took your car and drove off by yourself.

The boys knew how capable you were to take care of yourself, but they were still worried. It seemed too easy of an errand to collect ingredients for a spell. Not to mention with Rowena involved, who knew what kind of witch she had sent you off too.

As if thinking the same thing, Castiel appeared before the boys dangling the keys to the Impala. “Just watch from a distance. I agree with Y/N that you two shouldn’t be front lined against another witch. However, I’m aware Dean will be upset that we let her go alone. Call me if anything happens.” The angel handed them a piece of paper with an address, “This was the address I saw Y/N write down earlier.”

The boys thanked Cas as they left to pack a few of the Winchester’s belongings in a duffel. They had some sort of idea of what to bring based on what they did when they were acting.

Reaching Baby, Jensen and Jared couldn’t help but admire her. Despite riding in the car before with Y/N driving, being able to drive it now was awesome.

Jensen drove out of habit in the show. The two did get a lost, which added unnecessary road trip time, but eventually, they reached their destination, or so they assumed. Pulling up near the address, they parked a fair distance under a tree.

“Is that the house?” Jared asked.

“I think so. Did you look it up on google maps street view?” Jensen replied.

“Uhh, I did not. Was I suppose too?”

“How else are we going to know if we’re at the right address?” Jensen questioned looking over at his friend.

“I mean the dot on the navigation aligns with the spot of that house?”

Jensen sighed, “We’re pretty bad at this in real life.”

Jared countered his friend’s statement. “Hey! In the show, we don’t act out google mapping the location using street view! How were we suppose to know?”

A laugh appeared beside Jared’s open window. Both of the boys looked in the direction of where the laugh came from.

It was you.

You had just finished your reconnaissance task of walking around the neighborhood during the day and scouting. As you were leaving to head back to your motel that was walking distance from the neighborhood, that’s when you spotted Baby. The very recognizable 1967 Chevy Impala.

Bending over by the open window, you greeted the boys. “If it isn’t Scooby and Shaggy…” You teased.

Both of the boys looked embarrassed that they were caught.

“Hey Y/N…what are you doing here? We were just going on a drive, getting some well needed fresh air and...” Jared started lying, very poorly.

“Cas sent you, didn’t he?” You interrupted, getting straight to the point.

“Yes and no.” Jensen was quick to answer. “Look, we were all worried about you going alone, so we thought we’d just check up on you and Cas may have let us.” He shrugged as if he didn’t just throw Castiel under the bus.

You sighed as you straightened your back and then made your way to the back seat. “I had a feeling this would happen. Alright, let’s head to my motel and talk about this there.”

Part Seven

YNFTW Tag:

@chloe-skywalker  @darkswanordie   @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @aomi-nabi @damn-sassalecki @right-til-the-end @wingedcatninja @the-real-witch @toews-a-peek @lokilove3112 @tftumblin @calaofnoldor @monkeymcpoopoo @cassiopeia-barrow @nickyrose3123 @icequeen206 @winchester-marvel-girl @liviaolivia @rathersuspiciousbumblebee @rainflowermoon @rainflowermoonlibrary

[suckitsurveys]

Has anyone ever stolen your survey questions before, if you make surveys? I mean, what is stealing? Like, claiming they made it? I’ve never had that happen. Leggings with denim shorts; yes or no? Nah. Maybe tights. Do you like to burn candles? Yes. Are Yankee Candles really all that? They do smell amazing but they are so expensive.

Do you think any bands/artists are trashy? No one comes to mind. Have you ever broken into a public place, like a high school, after it was late and ...? Have you ever gone to the movies and hopped from movie to movie all day? I did that once. We bought tickets fro Sweet Home Alabama but snuck into Jackass about halfway through. Have you ever been to a drive-in movie? Unfortunately not. Would you be interested in going scuba-diving? Yes. Have you ever heard of the band “Indian Jewelry”? Nope. Do you go to church? Nope, no reason to. Have you ever had sex with someone you didn’t love? Oops. Have you ever been in a cave? I have. Do you anyone who’s painfully socially awkward? Yes, Do you actually know anyone named ‘Bill’ or ‘Bob’? Yes, both. Have you ever scared yourself when you sneezed? No. Do you tend to sneeze a certain number of times in a row? Usually just once or twice. Have you ever had to attend therapy? I should. So, what about Billy Ray Cyrus talking about how Hannah Montana ruined his life? I haven’t heard him say that. Who were you last in a hot tub with? Mark this past July. What’s your favorite liquid coffee creamer flavor? Pumpkin Can you knit? Not well. Can you do the splits? Nope. Are you wearing any rings? Not right now. Have you ever sold anything to a pawn shop? No. Have you ever traveled outside of your home country? Once when I was a baby. To Canada. Would you be satisfied growing up to be like your parents? Yes, in someways. Is there anything other than clothes in your dresser? No. How long does it take you to clean your room? It’s never really messy. My biggest issue is putting our clothes away. And I have to dust and vacuum once in a while. What’s in your closet? o.O Clothes, shoes, seasonal clothes, halloween costumes, beach towels, bags, suitcases, extra sheets. How many pictures do you take of yourself in a week? I don’t have a set amount. Do you use iTunes, or do you unlawfully download music? I use Spotify. Has anyone ever sent you flowers? Yes. Have you ever had a water balloon war? Yes. Do you have to buy something at every store you go in? No. Do you know anyone who always looks stoned all the time, whether they are or not? Nah. Have you ever seen the movie Ghost World??? I LOVE that movie. The most expensive clothing item you own; how much did it cost? Probably my winter puffer jacket. It was over $100. How many towels do you go through in a week? 2 or 3. Have you ever found a member of the same sex attractive? Yes, of course, have you seen women??? Are you good at relaxing? Yes. Do you count calories? No. Would you rather try Blueberry and Hazelnut Pringles, or Grilled Shrimp? Like, actual grilled shrimp? Or grilled shrimp Pringles? Because just give me actual grilled shrimp please. Do you wear a bra to bed? Yikes no thank you What position do you normally sleep in? On my stomach. Did you know that sleeping on your stomach can stretch your boobs out??? Oops. What kind of videos do you usually watch on YouTube? Whatever interests me? Do you still wish on stars? Sometimes. Have you ever seen an eclipse? Yeah. Have you ever been in any kind of an abusive relationship? Yes. What kind of parent do you think you’ll be? I don’t plan on being a parent at all. What kind of parents do you have? My dad is amazing. He’s so supportive and generous and funny and loving. My mom was, too. What is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to you? Getting two nieces :) Have you ever had a Nutella and marshmallow fluff sandwich? No thanks. Where’s your favorite place to eat breakfast at? Greasy spoon diners have the BEST breakfasts. What keeps you up at night? If anything, my cats.

[fortitude-sakura]

Noir [8/?]

AO3

previous | next

Sakura could hardly keep her eyes open. Whatever “sleep” she got last night could hardly be considered that. She spent most of the night awake, thinking about what had transpired earlier. By the time she actually got to sleep, it wasn’t long before she had to be up again to get to Milk Grind in time for the barista class she signed up for.

Milk Grind actually had a dedicated space for barista classes, set up with half a dozen coffee machines and a seemingly unlimited supply of milk. Jay went through the differences between types of coffee (including the Australian Flat White which uses microfoam and is more velvety, resulting in a stronger coffee). He demonstrates how to steam milk properly and that the proper temperature is 60-65 degrees Celsius (any hotter an the milk is burnt). The magic happens when Jay starts to pour. He pours a little flower (which he calls a rosetta) and explains the process in creating the pattern in the crema.

Sounds easy enough.

A few other sleepy individuals were also taking the class but they seemed to perk right up when they were allowed to drink their failed lattes.

“Remember, you want to hear the kissy sound as you steam the milk!” Jay says as he paced between the machines.

Her first attempt results in her burning her milk. Her second is not much better, still too hot. The third and fourth are better but the milk is too bubbly.

“You can knock out the bubbles if your milk has large bubbles.” Jay says, tapping the jug on the counter. “There you go.”

The rosettas she attempts to pour are milky white blobs with no shape. Jay spends time with everyone, guiding their pours and showing them how to get it right. By the end of the class, Sakura manages to get some resemblance of a ripple in her latte. The milk needs to be more glossy and smooth - right now it just resembles a sad, frothy cloud.

The class distracts her just enough not to think too much about what transpired last night. Her lips would flare up in heat whenever her mind wasn’t on steaming milk and she’s sure it isn’t from the burnt milk lattes she keeps producing.

黑

She goes home after class and Tenten ambushes her as she’s taking her shoes off.

“You have a lot to explain, young lady!” she mock chides, wiggling her finger as if she were a disappointed parent. “I’m making pancakes.”

Tenten serves the pancakes with strawberries and nutella and Sakura hands her a coffee she made in class (the ugly excuse of the latte art disguised by the takeaway container, but at least the milk isn’t burnt).

“So, the walk of shame. And with your boss?” Tenten asks, a hint of cheek in her voice. There’s no judgement there, just a barely contained grin. “When were you gonna tell me he was your boss?”

“Nothing happened!” Sakura said hotly, “I just helped him get home, that’s all!”

“Bullshit nothing happened! I saw the way he looked at you last night - he looked like he was going to eat you. You must be doing really well at your job.” Tenten says with a wink.

It’s funny how Tenten is so easily able to read her. But Sakura doesn’t plan on telling a soul about last night’s kiss. Saying out loud would mean that it happened and was very much real and it would make the remainder of her tenure as Sasuke’s executive assistant so much harder.

“I swear nothing happened.” She feels guilty lying to Tenten like this. She decides to change the topic. “So what happened with Neji?”

Tenten looks thoughtful before replying, intent on balancing a piece of pancake and a slice of strawberry on her fork. Much to Sakura’s relief, Tenten seems to forget the matter of her boss in seconds.

“We just talked and he drove me home. He says he came back to help his mother with her massage parlour businesses but Hinata’s dad offered him a position at the family company.”

Tenten explains that Hyuga Tea is run by the Hyuga family as a whole, which included extended family.

“So why isn’t his mother involved?” Sakura asks.

“His mother isn’t a Hyuga, his dad was. What I don’t get was that he came back years ago but not once did he try to look for me. I mean, there’s Friendbook now so there’s no way he couldn’t find me if he wanted to. He could have just added me on Friendbook!”

They eat in silence for a while and Sakura knows Tenten is debating whether or not to tell Sakura something else. Sakura waits patiently, knowing that pushing Tenten to say anything would be a futile effort.

“He did something weird in the car.”

“What did he do? Did he-”

“No, nothing bad . Just, confusing. He didn’t wake me up when we got here. He just, brushed my hair out of my face and just sat there. What do you think that means? I mean, he didn’t really do anything at the club before that creep tried to dance with me. Everything up until then, I would have just assumed that he just sees us as friends, but guys don’t do that for girls who are just friends .”

Seeing Tenten confused over the behaviour of men wasn’t new to Sakura, but Tenten would usually dismiss it easily with a shrug and a “Screw it!”. Tenten just looked puzzled and slightly hurt.

黑

Sasuke had woken up on Sunday with a killer headache. The next time Naruto tries to drag him to a nightclub he’s just going to straight up refuse. Nothing good ever comes out it. His hand is a little sore and he doesn’t know why. Hell, he’d be lucky if he remembered what happened after he started downing shots like a man dying of thirst.

All he remembers is seeing Sakura in a red dress and asking her why she was there. She had said something cryptic to him not that he remembers what she said exactly.

He spends a good portion of the morning trying to figure out what happened and considers calling Naruto to ask, but decides against it. Naruto would love nothing more than to lord his alcohol intolerance over him and he doesn’t want to provoke that conversation.

Instead, he downs a few pills for his headache and makes a call.

“Welcome to Zero.” a smooth female voice says over the phone.

“Is Karin available for lunch today at 12:30?”

“Hello Uchiha-san. You know she always has time for you. Do you have any particular requests today?”

He thinks over it for a moment.

“Tomato soup and grilled cheese.”

“Sure, I’ll let Karin know.”

黑

Uzumaki Karin had been busy finessing her menu for next week's dinner service when Suki walks in.

“Sasuke wants grilled cheese and tomato soup. He’s coming in at 12:30.” she says. “What are you gonna make?”

Of course Sasuke wants something that features tomatoes. It’s hot out today though - hardly appropriate weather for soup. Karin isn’t fazed though. She already knows what she has in mind. Pushing her glasses up her nose, she grabs her chef jacket and gets started.

Lunch service is always special for Karin since she rarely accepts lunch guests. Getting Karin to do a lunch service is notoriously difficult - even more difficult than getting a reservation for her dinner service (which has a 6 month waiting list and an additional waiting list for that waiting list). She only allows personal friends or family to request lunch services -  Kushina, for when she’s hanging out with her girlfriends or Hinata, her cousin Naruto’s fiance (who surprisingly is good company despite how quiet she can be) or even Suigetsu and Jugo. Of course Uncle Minato too - he was the one who helped send her to culinary school after her mother kicked her out of home for dropping out of university and had even helped her establish Zero.

Her favourite lunch guest however, is Uchiha Sasuke - Director of Uchiha Enterprises.

Naruto had brought him to lunch at Zero when they had first opened and she had been smitten with him since she laid eyes on him. She suspects most women are. He has a certain ‘bad boy’ type appeal - the suit (bespoke probably) and the watch (he favours his vintage Patek with the complications) contrasts with the somewhat disheveled hair and earring. Sometimes if he comes in on a weekend, she gets a glimpse of the tattoo he has, peeking out from the sleeve of his tee shirt.

While Sasuke may be by definition, handsome, his personality leaves much to be desired. He is always polite and cool, never going above lukewarm. Nonetheless, she enjoys looking at him when Suigetsu is being particularly irritating (like not replying to her texts within 10 minutes).

Today, he’s wearing a simple white tee, dark jeans and a bomber jacket. His sunglasses hide the hangover she knows he’s nursing. Naruto had drunk texted her last night.

NARUTO: omggg sauce ios soooooooo drinked

NARUTO: sauce

NARUTO: sauce

NARUTO:   sporry its the fjuking auto cucumber

NARUTO: i mean auto cucumber

NARUTO: GOD DONUT

Karin doesn’t think she had ever laughed harder in her entire life.

“It’s been a while since you’ve visited me,” she pouts mockingly, “I was beginning to think you’d have forgotten me.”

Even though her romantic feelings for Sasuke don’t go beyond a silly crush, she still likes to flirt with him.

“Sorry. Haven’t had the time to come here.” he says, climbing onto the stool at the counter.

“Alright, here we go. Grilled cheese and tomato soup.” she announces, placing a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich before him.

He smirks. Karin doesn’t just serve him a simple “grilled cheese and tomato soup”. The “tomato soup” is a tomato gazpacho - vibrant, fresh and cool. The “grilled cheese” is a few different cheeses and pickles between two slices of thick rustic bread, pan fried in butter until it’s crispy and golden.

“Well?” she asks as he tastes the soup.

“You never fail to exceed expectations.”

It’s probably the closest she’ll ever get to a compliment from Sasuke.

“Anything to drink?” she offers.

She likes to play a little game with herself when she asks him this question. Sasuke has a funny habit where his mood influences his drink choices directly. Wine if things are going smoothly and he’s reasonably happy (usually cabernet sauvignon although he has been known to ask for a white wine if the dish doesn’t pair well with red), tomato juice is for when he’s a bit grumpy and needs a pick me up, whiskey if he’s got a lot on his mind (tea is sometimes substituted if he has to go back to the office). If he’s here with Naruto for dinner they’ll order sake or tea if they’re being sensible. Today, she predicts that it’ll be-

“Iced coffee. Thanks, Karin.”

Well, that’s new.

黑

Sakura had been featuring heavily in his dreams as of late. Her face is usually a bit blurry but the pink hair is enough for him to make the conclusion that it’s his executive assistant. The dreams are usually generic and a little indecent. Not enough for a cold shower in the morning but just enough for his thoughts to wander just a little.

That night his dreams take a different turn.

Her face is clearly defined - he could see every lash that framed her expressive jade green eyes, her alabaster skin coloured with a dark pink blush dusted across her cheeks and her pretty lips were parted just a touch.

He feels her waist beneath his fingers and he realises just how petite she is. He feels every fidget and hears her breath. His forehead rests on hers and their noses touch. Her lips feel so soft against his and he swears she leans in to close the miniscule distance between them.

His heart feels like its soaring and suddenly he wants more. So much more. He wants to leave burning kisses into her skin as if to brand her with him. He wants to feel her hand in his as she squeezes him tightly in more places than one. He wants to see her hair messy, disheveled. He wants to get lost in a jade sea, consequences be damned.  

He wants her to want him as much as he wants her.

He wakes up on Monday morning at some ungodly hour, stiff and aching, wondering when the hell his imagination become so vivid and creative.

He arrives at the office and Sakura is nowhere to be seen. He’s worried for a moment, wondering briefly if he did something stupid on Saturday to scare her off but it dissipates when Sakura turns the corner, holding a fresh stack of photocopies and a mug of steaming hot something.

“Good morning, Dir-Sasuke.” she chirps.

Her reaction to him is her usual greeting and he sees his morning coffee on his desk, piping hot.

Business as usual,  he supposes.

黑

Sakura finds it easier than she thought to act normal around Sasuke. He makes no indication that he remembers what happened on Saturday and that in turn it makes it easier for her to pretend that nothing happened either.

This morning she opts to get him his usual coffee - not quite confident enough in her own skills to make him his coffee herself yet. She did however, buy beans from the Milk Grind after class (she isn’t sure whether to expense them or not).

She wants to dismiss everything that happened and just get through the internship but a very small (and loud) part of herself won’t let it go.

She does a Moogle search her boss and reads articles about him and the company. His handsomeness was only the tip of the iceberg. He graduated first in his class and won awards for academic excellence, the number of awards eclipsed only by his older brother who graduated 5 years before him. Uchiha Itachi was Director before him for a few years before Sasuke was made Director.

There were multiple articles on the matter - it seemed to be a hot topic at the time. Most were objective but some more gossipy trashy news sources implied that Sasuke was power hungry and ambitious and had “dethroned” his brother using underhanded methods.

The Sasuke she knows (what little she knows) doesn’t sound like the ruthless, cold Sasuke the tabloids paint him as being. Sure, he's ambitious - he wanted his company to perform well and holds himself to high standards. The decisions he’s made for the company have always been for the good of the company and its employees - there was nothing ruthless about it.

Subsequent articles are more favourable, complimenting Sasuke on his business acumen. While Itachi had started reforms in his short term as Director, Sasuke was the one who continued them and improved them. There are some articles about company culture and the internship program too. Uchiha Enterprises rank in the top 30 companies to work for nationwide as far as employee satisfaction goes according to a study.  

She sees and understands Sasuke’s vision for the future of the company from writing up documentation and doing preliminary research and analysis for him. Sakura can only feel admiration and a sense of pride that she’s a part of Uchiha Enterprises. The media vultures are only interested in selling ad space, views and daily sales.

As she keeps searching for articles, there are a few articles that aren’t about Sasuke’s professional work.

There are candid pictures of him in men’s magazines commenting on his style and ‘How to Emulate Uchiha Sasuke’s ‘Bad Boy’ Style’. It goes into excruciating detail as to which brands his ties, cufflinks and shoes are from. Apparently, his suits are bespoke. There's an article on a watch enthusiast blog that comments on all the watches he's been photographed wearing. Sasuke apparently collects watches because the article lists six, all of which adorn hefty price tags (some of which cost more than her intern salary).

There were pictures of him in women’s magazines of him out in public, touting him as one of the most eligible bachelors and speculations of his relationships. One article even has a complex looking chart with women suspected of being involved with him and a timeline to boot!

Sakura can’t help but be curious too. Even though she’s his executive assistant and she takes care of some of the more personal aspects of his life (like dinner reservations and dry cleaning), she knows absolutely nothing about his private life. She can only go off of clues.

Her initial observations of his staying at expensive hotel rooms don’t reveal anything about his private romantic life. His friend from Saturday - Naruto - is the son of the current Chairman of Uzumaki Resorts. It only confirms his close friendship with Uzumaki Naruto than anything else.

The flowers though, are another matter. The monthly bill for the flowers is from Flower Temple, an upmarket florist. A bouquet of mixed hydrangeas with gift wrapping. The delivery address is somewhere in the suburbs, one in which she recognises to be rather affluent. This reaffirms her “theory” that Sasuke’s lover or girlfriend or fiance or wife is most likely some kind of heiress or model. But if he really did have a girlfriend, surely she would have been with him on Saturday and that kiss wouldn’t have happened?

Whatever that was on Saturday, it doesn’t change Sakura’s professional admiration for her boss. It doesn’t change the fact that she should continue to do her best work for him, to take care of the small things so he can focus on more important matters. In the grand scheme of things, she’s a small fish swimming alongside a whale, a common tabby cat next to a majestic lion.

Back to work.

[yang-belladonna]

19, 71 and 147 please ^^

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Uh… I guess? I haven’t had one in a few years, so I honestly don’t really remember what they’re like.

71. Craving something? What?

Yes, two things, actually

Something to eat, maybe some pancakes or a turkey sandwich. (Okay, look, I always seem to be fuCKING HUNGRY, AND I DUNNO WHY, IT’S LIKE WHATEVER I EAT IS JUST GONE WITHIN SECONDS. LITERALLY! I JUST HAD A NUTELLA SANDWICH, LIKE, FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO, AND I’M HUNGRY AGAIN)

To get out of this village for a while, it’s too boring here for my liking

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers, ‘cause what the hell is a Mars?

Send me a number or so!

[surveysonfleek]

867.

Earth:

Leaf: What’s your favourite season? autumn <3

Tree: What’s the highest up you’ve ever been? i’m actually not sure sea level-wise. otherwise probably at the top of burj khalifa in dubai.

Flower: What’s the prettiest thing you own? my perfumes.

Grass: Do you prefer to be outside or inside? it depends. in good weather, definitely outside. i’m usually inside though.

Soil: Have you ever planted something? yes.

Mountain: What’s the furthest you’ve ever travelled? london or barcelona.

Rock: What’s your favourite gemstone? sapphire or diamond.

Vines: What’s your aesthetic? eh, not sure?

Plant: What, in your opinion, is your best aspect? i guess my personality.

Forest: Where are you most calm? at home in bed.

Mud: Do you like to do hands-on things? sometimes.

Bug: What’s your most irrational fear? cockroaches and driving in places i’m not familiar with.

Cave: Where’s your favourite hiding place? my room.

Garden: Where were you at this time last week? at home.

Spring: What’s your earliest memory? just being at our very first apartment.

- Water:

Tide: Can you swim/do you like to swim? i can swim enough to save my life but i don’t particularly enjoy competitive swimming. i just like wading in the water.

Beach: If you could be one place right now, where would you be? on a cruise that travels all over the world.

Coral: Do you believe in mermaids? no lol. it’d be cool though.

Seashell: What’s a sound that soothes you? rain while i’m trying to sleep.

Seaweed: Favourite sea creature? seahorses.

Saltwater: Cold showers or hot showers? i take actual cold showers in summer, otherwise warm to hot every other season.

Stream: When was the last time you had a bath? last year sometime.

Ocean: Have you ever been sailing? i haven’t done it specifically but i’ve been on boats/ships sailing a lot.

Hurricane: If you had to save one thing, what would it be? any of my loved ones.

Rain: What do you do when it rains? if i can i’ll just stay at home.

Thunderstorm: Do you like to be outside in the rain? of course not.

Dew: What’s your favourite drink? honeydew milk tea with pearls.

Bubble: Do you live near the water? not really, about 45 minutes away.

Snow: Does it snow where you live? never.

Ice: What’s your favourite thing to do in the winter? stay in a lot tbh.

- Air:

Clouds: When was the last time you were on a plane? about three weeks ago.

Breeze: What’s your favourite dessert food? warm desserts. waffles, pies, cakes.

Smoke: Who’s your favourite artist? frida kahlo.

Fog: Do you wear glasses? yes.

Wind: What’s your favourite song to dance to? anything crunk lol.

Mist: Do you like fairytales? i did as a kid.

Sky: Do you like to wear dresses? yes. really easy to pack dresses when traveling.

Stars: What’s one wish you have? a job that i love.

Flight: What are you most excited for right now? going to a destination wedding in under a month!

Float: What’s the first thing you think when you wake up? i check the time.

Breath: What type of music do you listen to? rnb.

Bird: If you could fly, where would you fly to? right now - japan.

Feather: How long do you usually sleep for? anything between 5-8 hours.

Balloon: What’s your favourite carnival ride? horror rides lol.

Space: Have you ever seen an eclipse? nope.

- Fire:

Bonfire: What’s one thing you lost that you want back? money lol.

Warmth: Who is the person nearest to you right now? my sister.

Light: What time is it where you are? 1:01am.

Volcano: What are you most afraid of? losing my loved ones.

Sun: What would the person nearest to you right now say about you? that i’m her older sister lol.

Lava: Do you like to do reckless things? i’ve done it in the past without realizing. i’m a lot more careful now.

Flame: Have you ever burned something? yes.

Soot: Have you ever hurt someone you didn’t mean to? yes.

Coal: Have you ever been hurt by someone? yes.

Ash: Do you have any birthmarks/scars? i have a small birthmark on the side of my waist.

Campfire: What’s your favourite childhood memory? watching sesame street in the mornings and eating nutella sandwiches.

Lightning: Are you afraid of storms? not really. only if i’m driving in really bad weather.

Energy: Pick one word to describe your life. Just one? meh.

Lantern: Are you afraid of the dark? if i’m somewhere i’m not familiar with.

Summer: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? haha.

[adventurecatalog2015]

In Retrospect

In May of 2015, I set out on a backpacking trip through Europe. It was supposed to last two months, but I came home after only five weeks. 

While I still have a lot of mixed emotions about the trip, it did teach me a lot about myself. Namely, that it's not a great idea to go to backpacking when you're in denial about your eating disorder.

CW for descriptions of disordered eating behaviours, including bingeing and restricting.

The bus ride to Munich took five hours, and I cried the whole time.

For what it’s worth, it was a nice bus. I mean, it had wifi, and a USB plug in so I could charge my phone, which I took advantage of to watch the latest season of Orange is the New Black while I sobbed softly, occasionally looking up to wonder why no one was asking me what was wrong.

The tears had been building up in my chest for a while, and I’m not sure what specifically broke the dam—maybe watching the buildings of Prague whiz past the window in a daze and thinking gee, I’d like to go to Prague someday, even when I’d spent the past 48 hours exploring the city. Maybe it was the comfortable seat, or how when I finally sat down I could actually feel how twisted and bloated my stomach was. Maybe it was the knowledge that as tired and as sick as I felt, I still had four more weeks of what was supposed to be the best experience of my life stretching out endlessly before me. I tried to imagine Greece and Rome—the white sandy beaches I had been so looking forward to visiting, the ruins, the beauty of Cinque Terre that everyone had told me I absolutely had to see—but when I did I only felt lonely, and tired, and numb.

I don’t think I’ve ever truly experienced depression, but when checked into my hostel room in Munich later that day and sank to the floor sobbing before I could even take off my backpack, I was closer than I’ve ever been.

I had set out on my quintessential backpacking journey five weeks earlier, after months of planning. I had carefully budgeted $6000 for my two-month trip from Ireland to the UK, mainland Europe, and the Mediterranean. I was “winging it” as much as I could—I hadn’t booked any hostels or flights, and had only a loose idea of the things I wanted to do and see. This would leave me open to experiences, I reasoned.

For the record, I still like this approach to backpacking, and my chosen method of travel was not the problem.

The problem was that for the previous two years I had been fostering disordered eating habits that had lead me to lose almost fifty pounds in ten months while simultaneously descending into a hellish binge/restrict cycle that occupied most of my waking thoughts.

I’m still not comfortable saying I had (have?) an eating disorder; “disordered eating” feels better for some reason. I’ve always dealt with anxiety, and maybe OCD, so the way I see it, an obsession over food and exercise was just a fun new way for my mental illness to manifest. At the time, though, I didn’t see it as mental illness.

When I boarded my flight from Vancouver to Dublin, I still thought that my obsessions and anxiety were a flaw. Just like the way I sometimes opened the cupboards and ate everything in sight, my fears were something to be conquered. If I could just grit my teeth and get over my stupid neurosis about food, I could have a good time in Europe, god dammit. I mean, it’s Europe! Once I got there, I told myself, I would be so distracted by the cool things around me that I wouldn’t have time to have a panic attack because I ate a fucking French fry.

As soon as I boarded my flight, my thoughts turned to food. What would they be serving? Would it have protein? Would it be fried? If there was a dinner roll, could I resist eating it? If I couldn’t sleep, I would be hungrier—I would probably end up eating a whole extra meal just because of the time change. What if I ended up eating two breakfasts? I could always just not eat the protein bar I had stashed in my purse; that could make up for it… Shit, the mere thought of my protein bar made me want it. I wasn’t hungry, but I ate it, and then felt simultaneously terrible that I had caved and relieved that it couldn’t taunt me anymore.

I watched movies on the in-flight TV. The first meal came, and I ate the dinner roll, with butter. In the bathroom, I lifted up my shirt and studied my stomach. I’m still okay, I thought. If I don’t eat all of the breakfast meal, I’ll be okay.

I ate all of the breakfast meal.

By the time I had landed in Dublin and found my hostel, almost all of the shops were closed. I ended up getting Subway, because I still remembered how many calories were in my favourite sandwich. I ate it in the restaurant and thought about how many meals I had eaten that day—too many.

It’s okay, I told myself. If I just have a light breakfast tomorrow, I’ll be okay.

I did not have a light breakfast.

So here’s a thing about hostels—they’re cheap. And guess which food macro is the cheapest? That’s right: carbs! My hostel in Dublin offered several breakfast food choices: corn flakes, Muesli, and toast.

I avoided it for as long as I could. I thought of buying eggs from the shop next door and cooking them, but a quick tour of the hostel kitchen ruled that out—it smelled like garbage and there were flies crawling on all of the dishes.

I walked into the dining hall and surveyed my fellow travellers, eyeing their sugar-topped cornflakes and white bread with Nutella disdainfully. I resolved myself to have one bowl of Muesli with milk and a cup of tea. That would be okay. But after that I was still hungry, so I poured myself another bowl.

Fuck, I thought as soon as I sat back down. I really fucked that up, didn’t I? God dammit. Well, if I just eat this last bowl, I’ll be okay—I can still save this.

And then that thing happened. My heart started racing, and my brain was filled with two opposite sentiments: hey, when in Rome! You’re in Europe! Enjoy the food! and Fuck fuck FUCK you fucking failure, what the hell are you doing?

So what the fuck do you do then?

Well, you get another bowl. And another. And the whole time though your brain is screaming at you to stop, for the love of all that’s holy, STOP but you keep getting up, you keep pouring yourself bowl after bowl, and when you realize how spectacularly you’ve fucked up you just and pour yourself some cornflakes, too, with sugar, and make yourself some toast with Nutella, because if you’ve already failed so badly what’s 500, 1000, 2000 more calories anyways?  The whole time you try to be casual about it, you hope no one notices, but you’re sure they do.

By the time I met up with my travel buddies I was so full I could barely move. And it only got worse from there.

Now, I’m not going to relive every time I binged in Europe—that wouldn’t be very interesting, because every time kind of looks like that. Every binge starts with me hating myself for eating, and every one ends with me in pain, short of breath, and promising myself that that this will be the last time.  

I won’t relive every binge, but I will tell you about a few of the worst ones.

In London, I stayed with an acquaintance who I had met through a mutual friend, and who had graciously invited me to stay with her. While I was there she went to work as normal, and I filled my days with sightseeing in the big city. She also very kindly gave me permission to eat whatever was in her cupboards—a nice, normal thing to do. But for me, it was terrifying.  

One day I got home before she did. I decided to have a snack—peanut butter on toast. The peanut butter was good, and slightly different from the stuff we have in Canada. Peanut butter has always been one of the things I am most afraid of—delicious and high calorie, it was one of my favourite binge foods. I had banned it from my house, and even got mad when my partner bought it solely for himself. Consequently, I hadn’t eaten peanut butter in a very long time.

So, I had another piece of toast. And another. And then I didn’t even bother toasting the bread. And then I started eating it by the spoon.

I paced the kitchen, spoon in hand, horrified at myself. Why was I doing this? This wasn’t even my fucking food. Surely my friend would notice how much of her peanut butter I had eaten. It was a smallish jar, and it had been almost full when I started.

And still, it taunted me from the cupboard. My mouth watered. She wouldn’t notice one more spoonful missing, would she?

It took me just over an hour to consume the entire jar, and it was one of the worst hours of my life. I felt sad, sick, out of control, and guilty. At a certain point I decided the only way to fix what I had done was to finish the peanut butter altogether and buy another, identical jar to replace the one I had stuffed myself on.

I still remember lying on Kaitlin’s bed after it was over in the fetal position, in pain, clutching my stomach, yet feeling almost victorious. I had eaten it all. I had replaced the jar. She wouldn’t know what I had done and now I felt so sick and awful that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I would never, ever, binge again: this was the low point. The fever dream was over now; I could see clearly at last, and I would be better now.

In case you haven’t guessed it already, that’s not what happened.

Another version of this story: I’m staying with relatives in Holland. They’re distant cousins, all removed and various degrees of separated from me, but they’re some of the most welcoming and hospitable people I’ve ever met. One day they leave me alone in the house. In a daze I rummage through their drawers for food, stuffing myself on cheese, meat, cookies, chocolate, sprinkles—anything I can get my hands on. I pace the house, berating myself but unable to stop. I’m out of breath so I lie down and think this is it; it’s over; I’m done, but that lasts five minutes before I get up and eat another cookie. When they get home I wait for them to say something—to make some surprised comment at how half their food is missing—but it never comes.

Another version: I’m staying on a farm in rural Ireland. They eat mostly bread and potatoes, and I should be grateful that they’re feeding me but all I can think about is how much I hate that the nice old Irish grandma making my dinner insists on making up my plate herself. She sets it in front of me and I feel bile rise in my throat. After dinner they take me to a gathering with a few of their friends and I eat the meat and cheese and bread they’ve laid out until I feel like I might puke. In the bathroom I lift my shirt and stare at my stomach—to my eyes it looks distended, bloated, horrific.

Another: I’m walking through downtown Brussels with an American girl I met at my hostel, eating from a mixed bag of chocolates. I laugh about how I don’t even care that it’s my breakfast, lunch, and dinner but I feel panic rising in my throat, and because I don’t know what else to do or how to stop myself I eat the whole bag.

I’m sitting on the back steps of a hostel in Amsterdam. An Australian boy is sitting beside me, waxing poetic about British Columbia and its wonderful natural beauty, and I’m eating my fifth peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The calories are all I can think about.

I’m in the train station in Berlin, trying to find something to eat for breakfast. I get candy and cookies and eat them while I wait for my train. By the time I get on board I feel like I’m bursting out of my clothes; I give the remainder to the girls sitting beside me and silently congratulate myself for not finishing the bag.

I’m in a cat café in Prague. The cats aren’t very social but there are free snacks; I keep making passes by the table to grab fistfuls of peanuts and cookies before returning to the cats. I play with them as best as I can and try not to cry.

I hold out until an hour later, when I board the bus to Munich.

When I check into my hostel later that day, the boy at the counter looks at me with concern. I don’t quite know what I looked like then, but it couldn’t have been great after five solid hours of crying on a bus.

“Do you need anything?” he asks uncertainly as he hands me my room key. A few sad tears leak out of the corners of my eyes and I shake my head. As I walk away to the elevator, I wonder if he thinks something terrible has happened to me.

I make it to my room, but just barely: as soon as I shut the door everything I’ve been holding inside my chest spills out and I’m sobbing with all my heart, gasping, clutching my face with my hands. Somehow, I manage to call my mom, and she answers.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“I can’t do it,” I say between sobs. “I thought I could do this, but I can’t. This is so much worse than I thought—I’m so much worse—and I don’t know what to do now.”

“That’s okay,” she says. “You don’t have to—you can come home.”

“I can’t,” I say, thinking of the hotel I booked on a small Greek island and my return flight from Rome that doesn’t leave for another four weeks. Oh god. Four more weeks of this? It seems like an eternity, and the thought fills me with a deep, aching exhaustion I can feel in my bones.

“Don’t think about money,” my mom says. “If you need to come home, you need to come home.”

When I finally make the decision to cut my trip short, it’s the best I’ve felt in weeks. I find the cheapest—and soonest—flight back to Canada that I can, and book it before I can second-guess the decision. My hostel is noisy and uncomfortable so I check into a hotel for the last two days of my time in Munich.

Those two days are filled with more anxiety, more binges, and more pacing around my hotel room. Eventually I find my way to the airport and board my flight home.

I wish I could say that when I got back I was instantly better—that being back in a familiar environment with people I loved somehow fixed me. I wish I could say that, after some reflection, I realized that the good memories of my trip outweighed the bad, and I didn’t regret going.

The truth is, I shouldn’t have gone to Europe. Two years later, the memories are still painful, and even though there were some good times and cool experiences, what I remember more than anything else is my obsession with food. Thinking about it, fearing it, and bingeing till I couldn’t move or breath and I hated myself more than anything.

At the same time, that trip was a wake-up call. Would I have realized the extent of my eating disorder if I hadn’t gone? Or would I have just kept going—kept counting every calorie, measuring every spoonful, spending hours every day working out on an empty stomach until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged again, only to redouble my efforts to restrict in the morning.

I don’t know. But I think I’m glad things happened the way they did. The most valuable thing to come out of my experience was the realization that I wasn’t okay. The things I thought were simply character flaws ran much, much deeper, and it just wasn’t possible to grit my teeth and will myself better.

My journey back from that hostel room in Munich didn’t end when I got off the plane in Canada. Two years later, I’m still working to repair my relationship with food and my body and to figure out how to deal with my anxiety.

I haven’t shared this story too freely, because I think a big part of me is still ashamed. Not just because I bought into the toxic attitudes towards food and our bodies that society pushes on us every day, but because part of me still buys into them. Part of me still thinks my life would be better if I was thinner, even though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that’s not the case. This belief is the product of decades of messages telling me that the only way to be valuable is to be thin; decades of people all around me repeating this simple truth ad nauseum. Not always with their words, but with their actions, spurred on by their own self-hatred; their own attempts to strive for nonexistent ideals.

This is what I am trying to unlearn.

I haven’t weighed myself in years, but I’m pretty sure I’m back to where I started. It’s hard to make peace with that, especially now that I know what it feels like to be thinner, like I’ve wanted to be since I was eight. Every time I have to buy clothes in a bigger size I panic, and all the old feelings come up again—if I just eat less, if I just exercise more, if I just…

But if I did those things, I know I wouldn’t be happy in the long run. Whatever satisfaction I got from being thinner was hollow. Sure, it made me feel better about myself in the short term, but it was more like a fleeting ego boost than any genuine increase in self-esteem. Because no matter how smug I felt about losing weight, my sense of satisfaction was always, always coupled with fear. More more than anything, I was absolutely terrified that I would slip and lose control and gain everything back. That terror drove me to restrict, and it drove me to binge. I don’t want to be in that place again.

I don’t count calories anymore, nor do I restrict or over exercise, and I haven’t binged in a long time. I finally enjoy eating out at restaurants again, and panic doesn’t grip me when my coworkers bring treats to work. That didn’t happen overnight, and some days are still hard. But you know what? I think that’s okay.

Truthfully, I’m afraid to share this. I’m afraid that you will judge me, or think less of me, or maybe that you won’t even believe me. But maybe someone will see themselves in my story. To you I say: please know that you are not a failure. Please know that it is okay to ask for help. And if you want, I’d love to talk.

[thisislizheather]

February Feats

So happy that February flew by this year, although with no snow in New York it felt a little sacrilegious. I think this has been the least snow I’ve ever experienced in a winter in my life and it feels awful. There’s still a few weeks left of the season, so I guess that could change but I mean snow in March? Give me a break. Here’s what went down this month.

NATHAN DID THE TONIGHT SHOW! And it was amazing. So crazy proud. I got to go with him to 30 Rock and everyone was so nice and it was incredible.

I rewatched As Good As It Gets and what a terrible movie! No way in hell would Helen Hunt get together with Jack Nicholson. C’mon.

I started watching The Haunting of Hill House and I don’t think I’ll continue. Reasons? 1. I don’t think I like horror shows. Movies? Sure, that’s a fun time with an end date of a few hours. 2. What awful parents would keep their millions of children in a house like that? 3. Maybe it was a bad idea to start this in February, when it’s nowhere near spooky season, that might be my fault.

Saw Happy Death Day 2U with Nathan on Valentine’s Day because I wanted to see something and WOOF, what a nightmare of a movie. I knew it would be terrible, but it still shocked me.

Read Ellie Kemper’s latest book.

Finally caught up to the end of season four on Broad City and goddam is that a perfect show. Excited to start season five soon.

I rebought Essie’s Apricot Cuticle Oil because I used to love it and then finished it and forgot about it. It’s such a great product but you do have to use it at least semi-daily to see a real difference in your cuticles.

Went to Charlie Palmer Steak for a Restaurant Week lunch and even though the environment is kind of stuffy, the food was really good. I love when pasta is offered as an appetizer, it’s always the perfect amount. The tagliatelle was really good and the steak sandwich was great (if not a little too bread-y). That sandwich is also the “official sandwich of Madison Square Garden” which everyone tells you a thousand times upon entering the restaurant, so that’s something too, I guess?

CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS SHOW TO COME OUT mainly because of how amazing the book is. Airs March 15!

Love that Trader Joe’s keeps putting out new candle scents. The Lemon Cookie one is fantastic.

Loved the Big Mouth Valentine’s Day special. Obviously over the moon pleased that the lady bug was in it.

So I tried Ree Drummond’s Caesar salad dressing recipe and I wasn’t a huge fan of her dressing itself  (Teigen’s dressing is better but of course it is because of the mayo), BUT I loved the way she does her croutons. They turn out really crunchy on the outside, but still super soft on the inside, it’s genius and I’ll include how to do it below.

Ree Drummond’s Croutons recipe: Slice the (French or ciabatta) bread into thick slices and cut them into 1-inch cubes. Throw them onto a baking sheet. Heat some olive oil in a small saucepan or skillet over low heat. Crush-but don't chop-the garlic and add them to the oil. Use a spoon to move the garlic around in the pan. After 3 to 5 minutes, turn off the heat and remove the garlic from the pan. Slowly drizzle the olive oil over the bread cubes. Mix together with your hands, and then sprinkle lightly with salt. Toss and cook in the pan until golden brown and crisp. Add a little butter for more flavor.

Honestly, those croutons were so good that I had a few leftover that I put in a pappardelle tomato pasta the next day and… whoa. Have you ever put croutons in a pasta before? Holy fuck was it good. The crunch factor in an otherwise texture-less dish was unbelievable. How is this not a thing that everyone is doing? We all need to wake the fuck up.

I also made Ina Garten’s cauliflower toast and my god, IT WAS AMAZING.

A new bar opened in my neighborhood called The Huntress, so we went and it’s pretty good! It’s mostly a wings places and they were really tasty (and that’s coming from someone who does not enjoy wings - the bones are too tiny and gross and no thanks), but these were really good. They also have poutine (!) on the menu, and even though the gravy is much too salty, the beautifully authentic curds were appreciated.

I always forget about the one bottle of Tom Ford nail polish I have, but it lasts me a full week whenever I wear it. I mean, the price is stupid, but it does last a decent amount of time.

Have you heard of the site or the book Desserts For Two? Pretty self-explanatory, but it’s created by a woman who makes recipes specifically for two people. I tried her chocolate cake recipe for Valentine’s Day and it was delicious. The cake was so good, but I really didn’t care for her frosting, if you do try this one definitely find a better icing recipe online or better yet just buy the premade one they sell at grocery stores. Or even just top it with Nutella. Fuck, I’m hungry now.

Watched all of Difficult People and I mean… SUCH a great show, which everyone obviously knows by now, it just took me awhile to finally get there and see it. Other than it being a great show, I was completely in awe of Julie Klausner’s wardrobe. I wanted everything she wore.

This Lemon, Bacon, Kale, Cauliflower pasta blew my face off, I made it three days in a row.

I rewatched a lot of the last season (spoilers ahead) of Dawson’s Creek (does it sound like a don’t have a job? I do! I just don’t work very hard) and when Jen dies and then Grams says to her, “I’ll see you soon, child. Soon.” I fucking sobbed. BUCKETS. My god. I mean, see for yourself. (And if your reaction isn’t quite as strong as mine… look inside yourself, maybe.)

I have wanted to try this Serious Eats  potato recipe forever so I did and it just didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. Some of the potatoes turned out the way they were supposed to, but you’re really supposed to do this technique with a real oven and not a tiny convection one like I have. The few that came out the way they were supposed to were really good and crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, but the effort involved in this recipe was too next-level. Maybe as a Thanksgiving recipe it’d make sense?

I watched the Versace series on Netflix and holy heavenly fuck, it’s a bad one. I only lasted about three episodes before I just couldn’t go any further. SO terrible.

Had a slice at Scarr’s in the Lower East Side and it was very decent, definitely one of the most solid pepperoni slices in that area. UPDATE: Definitely don’t go late at night, they’ve been sitting around all day and they suuuuuuck right before closing.

I now know how to make a steak at home and there’s no turning back now. I’ve been forever intimidated by cooking steak at home because it seemed like such a hard thing to do properly. (I did it once a few years ago and, like, tripled the amount of cream sauce I put on top and felt so sick I didn’t ever want to do it again.) But I did it on two separate occasions this month and I think I’m maybe kind of a pro at it now? This Tasty video helped so much. The only tip I can offer is to use normal salt and not the course kosher salt that I did on steak #1, that baby was inedible because of that course salt. Oh! And for the sauce that you obviously have to serve your steak with, it’s best to grind your own peppercorns in a spice grinder. I don’t know why, but I feel like this was the most important step. I have a lot of steak thoughts. I’ll stop.

I tried the tacos at Empellon Al Pastor in the East Village and while they were pretty good, I found them slightly on the expensive side for a place on Avenue A. We can all calm down a bit.

I visited Sweet Moment in Chinatown for a latte and it was a pretty cute experience even if the service was a little salty. If we’re being real, people only come here because Instagram exists, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The cream art choco latte that I had was ridiculous good, which makes sense because I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s just melted chocolate in a cup.

I visited the Glossier flagship store again because I was in the neighborhood and I (finally) tried out their Boy Brow. And let’s get this straight, I tried it on even though I already had other eyebrow products on (ColourPop’s Brow Boss Pencil as well as a little Milani Easybrow) which was maybe a dumb idea, but I didn’t want to wipe my eyebrows off and try the Glossier one incase it sucked and then had to walk around the rest of the day looking like a psychopath. SO, that being said, here’s what it looked like using all three products.

They look pretty full, right? I kind of think too full. I don’t know, maybe I’m a maniac. I should’ve done a before and after photo, not just an after. I just don’t see the big deal about their products. I feel like every item Glossier sells is something you need to use in combination with something else so it’ll actually look like something’s working. In conclusion, I have no idea if this is a good product or not and that’s really irritating, even to me.

Chrissy Teigen just announced that she’s gonna start her own website with new recipes! Amazing news!

I ate the pepperoni slice at Mama’s Too on the Upper West Side and all the good reviews about it ain’t lying. Crazy good slices. Might even be better than Prince Street Pizza.

I tried the mini Thickening Spray from Bumble & Bumble in my continued attempt at hair domination (and may I suggest that you always buy the mini size of any new hair product you’re trying? It makes so much more sense and is much cheaper) and it worked out well! I’ve only used it once but I think it’s a good product, next time I’ll definitely try it on my roots as well to see what it can really do. UPDATE: Definitely don’t spray it on your roots, it works much better if you use it sparsely on the rest of your hair when damp. 

I saw Waitress on Broadway and just wow. I haven’t been to a show in years and I forgot how much fun they are. This one was absolutely no exception. I went because a friend of mine that I met at the restaurant is in it, so I went to see her and not only was she phenomenal (Jessie Hooker-Bailey), the entire show was incredible. Joey McIntyre was great. Also? They had these mini pies for sale at intermission (genius) and the Salted Caramel Chocolate Pie is literally reason enough to go see this show. I need that recipe and I need it badly.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Liz Heather (@lizheather) on Feb 28, 2019 at 9:13pm PST

I finally ate at Sardi’s (which is something I’ve wanted to do for years) and sat at (in my opinion) the best corner booth under Dr. Ruth. And while I wish I had more to gush about, I… don’t. Ugh! I really think I just ordered bad. I only got the steak tartare and it was probably the most disappointing one I’ve ever had, which sucks considering it was also the most expensive. I knew I should’ve ordered the crab cake. That being said, I will definitely return mainly because the service was so impeccable that you’d have to return. Everyone was crazy nice and accommodating and pleasant, this one is just my fault I think. Also, I need to stop ordering streak tartare. I’ve already found the place that makes it the best (The Dutch) so why the hell am I still looking? I feel like a happily married man who can’t stop looking for something better to come along. STOP!

HELLO BEST MONTH OF THE YEAR, MARCH!

[simplemlmsponsoring]

New Post has been published on https://simplemlmsponsoring.com/attraction-marketing-formula/attraction-marketing/why-brand-visibility-matters/

Why Brand Visibility Matters

What is brand visibility?

Big and small brands alike buy TV and radio ads, sponsor little league teams, buy billboards, write blogs, and post on their Facebook pages. They are on an ever-ending quest to “get their name out there.” Many of these actions don’t have a big impact (more on that later), but as it turns out, they at least are starting with the right idea.

Do you have a certain friend who posts something everyday, many times a day on social media? For me, it’s often my acquaintances and friends who join MLM companies. (You know – the makeup, clothes, jewelry, fitness Network Marketing brands.) They’re ever-present in my newsfeed. The quality of their posts vary, sure, but they’re there. They show up.

They sprinkle in the product promotions. The majority of their posts are about their life, brand, beliefs, and journey. It is sometimes eye roll-worthy, but it works. Over time, I’ve come to appreciate their stories. If I ever DO need a fat-compressing wrap or a kick-butt workout, I know exactly who I should ask.

  When isn’t Visibility the answer?

If you haven’t done the inner work to figure out what your brand is, all the visibility efforts will be less effective. Your aim is to own a specific space in people’s minds and hearts that you reinforce through the visibility. If you aren’t clear on what you stand for in the first place, reinforcing an ambiguous message won’t have the effect you are looking for.

Define your brand first.

Stop here if when you look at your brand, you cringe. Stop here if the message of your brand isn’t clear – to you or to your ideal clients. If you’re not sure exactly how to articulate what sets you apart from other people in your industry, you have work to do before you invest time or other resources in visibility. 

Before you pitch yourself to another reporter, run a FB ad, even post something else on social media… Stop and figure out what your message is. Know what you stand for and who you provide value to. 

Posting your lunch on twitter every day may make you “visible.” It won’t likely contribute to your brand building or goals.

  The Case For Getting More Visible

While you might not be selling long-wear lipstick to old high school buddies, we can still learn a valuable lesson. In psychology, there’s a phenomenon called the “Mere Exposure Effect.” The more familiar we are with something (or someone), the more we like them.

Side note: There’s also a lesson NOT to take from our MLM-promoting friends. Facebook has policies against promoting businesses on your personal profile. Sharing value or personal stories is one thing. Using your profile as a never-ending billboard is against their rules. Stick to your business pages & groups for the bulk of your visibility work. You’ll also save yourself from annoying everyone.

Another example: Many Americans have a nostalgic love for Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches. I have many, many fond memories of my mom making me a sandwich to send in my lunch to school. The repeated exposure (mixed with the positive emotions of being taken care of) makes it a staple in many people’s cupboards. Italians don’t have the same exposure or memories about PB&J’s. It’s almost impossible to find peanut butter in a supermarket here. They don’t have the same affection for the product. (Now, Nutella… that’s a different story. I almost got trampled when they had a sale the other day. The stuff is everywhere.)

The repeated exposure of a brand, person, or product is powerful.

Everything else aside, SHOWING UP matters.

  Who Needs Your Brand *Right Now*?

Another case for consistent visibility is that different people will need your products at different times. By staying top of mind, your brand will be easier to recall when they need you.

Imagine being in a crowded party. In the middle of the murmur of the crowd, you hear your name mentioned. Your ears perk up and you pay attention. This happens because we’re conditioned to pay attention to things that we care about. Our brain is filtering all the stimuli in the world against our internal gauge of what is important and what is not. Our name stays high on the “Important List.” Other things change based on what’s going on. You might notice phone advertisements when your iPhone is acting buggy. Or you find a plethora of desserts everywhere when you’re on a diet because you’re craving sugar.

We don’t pay attention to most messages we see, until we’re tuned into a specific idea. When your ideal client is ready to pay attention, you need to be there (like you always have been.)

In the online world, high visibility is akin to being in a convenient location in the real world. Stores that are close by often get our business because they are convenient. In the online world, when we decide that we’re looking for a new Virtual Assistant, the ones that show up on our radar at that exact moment are more likely to get our business.

  Visibility is a Key for Brand Growth

In the book “How Brands Grow,” Byron Sharp shows us studies and stats that demonstrate that brands don’t actually grow through repeat (“loyal”) clients. The main driver of growth is NEW users/customers, even if they only buy once. Reach is more important than loyalty. It’s counterintuitive, I know. (You can get the book on Amazon to read for yourself.)

To reach new audiences (and woo them into becoming a client/customer), we need to be visible. The content, ads, emails, and social media posts we create increase our probability they find us. It creates more opportunities for people to come into contact with our brand.

  Visibility Creates Recognition

When we encounter a random blog post by someone we aren’t familiar with, we appreciate the content, but it’s quickly forgotten. Just because we landed on someone’s website once doesn’t mean that we’re going to remember it months later. Our memories are way too short for that.

Your audience needs repetition so they start to recognize who you are. As you can guess from the theme of the post, consistent visibility is a key to making this happen.

Once we’re “out there,” people have an opportunity to build a lasting and cumulative belief of our brand over time. They start to recognize our brand, content, voice, and visuals. The important part here is consistent visibility. For people to know you, you need consistency of both frequency and look/voice/feel of your brand.

And bonus – once they know who we are, it engages the “Mere Exposure Effect” that we talked about earlier. They recognize our contributions as ours, and it all builds on each other.

  (Pin this for later!)

Where Visibility Goes Wrong

Plastering your logo everywhere isn’t going to cut it. The second element of visibility is a spark of connection. We need to engage people’s emotions.

I remember sitting at a summer T-ball game, watching one of my little brothers swing the bat. As I looked around in the hot summer sun, I noticed the faded paint of some company’s logo on the sideline. I wondered why in the world companies would waste money advertising there.

Or imagine this. If you posted only your business logo everyday for the next month, what would happen? Sure, people would see it. But after a while, people would either stop paying attention or hit that “unfollow” button.

To make visibility work for you, being seen *is* the first step. We covered that bit. Yet, showing up won’t have a big positive effect unless your ideal clients *notice* you there and enjoy seeing you. That’s where it’s time to bring your brand into the picture (beyond your logo.)

We need the brand to be consistent, yes. And then, we need to create engaging experiences so they also *notice* you. We need to have conversations that go beyond the nuts and bolts of your product or service. We need to talk about things that matter to human beings.

We need to create brand experiences that are surprising, aspirational, heart-warming, insightful, useful. … anything but boring or predictable. People buy from people. One of the easiest ways to do this is to tell stories in our visibility content. Tell real, relatable human stories. Even if they aren’t related to your product or service on the surface, use stories that support core message of your brand. (Hint: use your primary archetype to help filter through stories that would be “on brand” for you. (You can take the quiz here. My Brandfluency archetype courses give specific examples of stories to tell for each type.)

  Always Be Inviting

I’m not sure about you, but I hate adding things to my to do list that aren’t effective. The last thing I want to spend all day on Facebook and not see results.

The last step of effective visibility for brands is to have an endgame in mind. If that goal is to get more clients, know that. If that goal is to sell a course, know that. Use your visibility campaign to connect people to that endgame.

Invite people to deepen their relationship with you at every step. Likes and shares on a Facebook post don’t pay for dinner, even if the post goes viral. Ask people to join your email list. Or set up a call. Or buy your product.

  How to Get More Visible

The problem with visibility for most people – myself included – is a lack of time and competing priorities. We have a million ideas and tasks vying for our attention. Even when we “know” how important visibility is, it gets pushed down the list because it’s not a habit.

There’s mindset work that often needs to happen to make room for the work of getting visible. You need to release perfectionism and know that your voice is worth sharing. If it doesn’t come easy to you – you’re not alone.

  To pull this all together, increasing your brand visibility is the key to growth, as long as you do it in a smart way. Pick platforms/media where your ideal clients are, and show up there consistently (frequency, message, and style). Get noticed by creating a mini-brand experience (think emotion!). Always be inviting people to go deeper with you. Get your creativity flowing with these *50* free content prompts. Download 50 Content Prompts for *FREE*! You’e got this! The world needs your genius.

The post Why Brand Visibility Matters appeared first on Kaye Putnam | Psychology Driven Brand Strategist.

Read more: kayeputnam.com

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Ooh haven’t done one of these in a while!  Thanks @theamiableanachronism and @thelonelybrilliance!

-Are you named after anyone? Named after St. Monica, and my middle name is the same as one of my mom’s friends when she was younger

-When was the last time you cried? ...the other day when I was thinking about people I love and how much I really want us all to end up in heaven with God

-Do you like handwriting? I admire other people’s handwriting, and I usually hand-write my notes for class.  When I write a story I usually start by handwriting ideas and then switch to my laptop.  So I guess?  

-Whats your favorite lunch meat? I love ham sandwiches with cheese, but turkey, roast beef, and chicken are great too.  Lets just say that I love meat and could never be a vegetarian.

-Do you have kids? None of my own, which is not to say that I don’t want any someday, or that I haven’t adopted 75820475 fictional characters as my sons and daughters

-If you were another person would you be friends with you? I am thinking yes?  I mean, I try to be a really thoughtful and kind person, and I am just a TAD nerdy and I tend to make friends with people like me...

-Do you use sarcasm? OH. HECK. YES.  I am not sure if it is my first or second language.  See, I have parents who speak it well, especially my dad, and it is pretty much how I communicate with my sister and my five brothers.  All in good fun though.  

-Do you still have your tonsils? Yup

-Do you bungee jump? The adrenaline seeker in me says that someday I will 

-Whats your favorite cereal? I like fruit-flavored frosted wheats or whatever they are called, Life, Multi-grained cheerios, Special K chocolate and strawberry, and a lot more actually

-Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Hahahahaha never

-Do you think you are a strong person? We all have our weaknesses.  But I think that overall I am a strong person, and I credit my parents, my siblings, my friends, and most of all God for that

-Whats your favorite ice cream? I LOVE chocolate and peanut butter swirl, mint chocolate chip, and java chunk.  Those are probably the all-time faves

-Whats the first thing you notice about people? Hair, eyes, and smile.  Pretty normal, I am sure.  Then I start to notice the things about their character, how they speak to and act around other people.  Behavior is everything, and though I can’t always pinpoint how I know things, I have found that my early impressions of someone usually turn out to be true.  I have been blessed with a pretty good intuition I guess

-Whats your least favorite thing about yourself? When someone hurts a friend of mine, and then they make up and the friend is all cool with them again, I have a terribly hard time letting go of the grudge I have built up in my heart.  There was a time when I despised a friend’s boyfriend for like a months, even though I KNEW he wasn’t that bad of a guy, and was trying to do better.  I don’t hate or dislike a lot of people, but the ones I do I will try to avoid, because it is hard for me to talk to them.  And that isn’t right, like where is the mercy and compassion and love I talk about so much?  So yeah, basically that is something that I am trying to work on.  Um, on a lighter note, I wish I had spent a greater effort practicing violin when I was younger.  I wish I had worn my retainer longer

-What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Actually, pretty much the same as Emma.  Blue pajama pants, no shoes.  Don’t think about what time of day it is.

-What are you listening to right now? The faint hum of my laptop and the wind rustling the leaves outside my window

-If you were a crayon what color would you be? Hmm, probably some shade of purple.  Perhaps blue violet or royal purple?  Or maybe a deep shade of green.  Or a dark blue or...I DON’T KNOW I JUST LOVE COLORS

-Whats your favorite smell? The ocean, fresh-cut grass, sweet summer hay, cornfields, coffee, anything my mom cooks, fresh made bread, cookies just out of the oven, sawdust, horses and their barns and saddles, the scent of people I love

-Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? My manager at work.

-Favorite sport to watch? On TV: hockey.  In person: my brothers’ baseball games

-Hair color? Medium to dark brown, with natural reddish tints

-Eye color? Hazel.  (We have the same eye color, Emma, no wonder we see so many things the same way!)

-Do you wear contacts? Not as often as I want to.  I am lazy and don’t like taking them out at night

-Favorite food to eat? Spaghetti, meatloaf, zucchini bread, banana chocolate chip bars, nutella, smoothies

-Scary movies or comedy? Neither is my go-to.  But I will enjoy a good comedy as long as it is not one of those raunchy ones, and I will enjoy a scary movie if it is not over-the-top with icky stuff.

-Last movie you watched? BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, WHICH I WILL FREAK OUT ABOUT ON TUMBLR LATER TODAY PROBABLY BUT I HAVE TO GO TO THE GYM NOW BUT BASICALLY I LOOOOOOVE IT SOOO MUCH IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND LOVELY

-Color of shirt you are wearing? A kind of hideous compilation of pink, orange, white, and tan stripes. *shrugs* it is comfortable and I wear it as a pajama top

-Summer or winter? My favorite season is always the one I am currently experiencing, so the real answer would be spring, but since we are close to summer I shall say summer

-Hugs or kisses? Hugs all around!  Though only from people I know.  I am a firm believer that a ten second hug can work wonders on a person’s mental and heart health.  I will take kisses from my mom and a select few other people.  I will kiss every single baby that crosses my path!

-What book are you currently reading? Not reading any book at the moment, having just finished classes, but my copy of Rogue One should come in today I think!!!

-Who do you miss right now? Hmm.  Some friends I haven’t seen in a while.

-Whats on your mousepad? Mousepad?  What mousepad?  

-Whats the last TV show you watched? My newest guilty pleasure, 10 Things I Hate About You.  It is ridiculous.  I place all blame on @thelonelybrilliance

-Whats the best sound? Ocean waves crashing on the shore or the wind through the trees.  Copying both Ami and Emma here.  Also, the sound of a distant lawn mower, and gentle piano, violin, or guitar music, the laughter of my best friends or my family

-Rolling Stones or The Beatles? At the risk of someone judging me, I really don’t care

-Whats the furthest you have ever traveled? I don’t know mileage, but from Pennsylvania to Wisconsin, and from Pennsylvania to Georgia.  *sighs* I wanna go out of the country!

-Do you have a special talent? God has given me a gift of empathy, I think.  And hopefully I am good at writing.

-Where were you born? In a hospital in a town in Pennsylvania, the United States, planet Earth

If you want, I tag @tabbyofwisdom @ilyana-intaegra @blackaquokat @itspileofgoodthings @castieltaking-hobbits2gallifrey @darkeststar310 @peonymoss @ewokshootsfirst and anyone else who wants to play!

[myberkeleyadventure]

How I Start Each Day: Tips for an Energized Morning!

My friends usually say I'm in a great mood when I see them so I just thought I’d share my day routine.... *Not in order of how I do it/ not in chronological order necessarily.

Before Sleeping

Pick out your outfit for tomorrow. Check the weather/ see if you have any meet ups, etc and plan an outfit accordingly. 

Look over your calendar for tomorrow and double check that your alarms are active, and that you are prepared for tomorrow (like, make sure you did all of your readings and stuff). (Ex: Sometimes I have tabling shifts that start before my actual classes so I need to make sure I have alarms. Or I have a meeting with a friend and need to remember where to meet.)

Prep your backpack for tomorrow. Depending on what classes I have, I’ll make sure to put the correct folders and my laptop, if necessary. Basic stuff like that. Or if I plan on studying afterwards, I pack my chargers and stuff.

Make my lunch for tomorrow. Usually, I just eat sandwiches so yupp. Ham sandwich, PB&J, nutella, etc. I normally pack two sandwiches in case I get hungry midway through the day since the sandwiches aren’t really that filling to me and I don’t want an excuse to spend money LOL. Eating out costs so much money and I’ve saved SOSOSO much  by eating at home.

Make a list of  things you want to accomplish tomorrow. I haven’t been doing this lately but I mean to. It’s more like a post-it note that says like “Read for Bio 142″, “Physics Problem Set”, “Grocery Shopping”, etc.

Essentially, you’ll see that most of these things are prepping for tomorrow’s day. I like to do stuff like this because then tomorrow morning, I’ll literally just need to wake up, get dressed, eat and go. I don’t need to waste time making sure I have everything in my backpack or choosing my outfit. It’s made my mornings very efficient.

Morning Of/ Before Classes Start

Make my bed. I got this habit from my freshman roommate (and I’m a junior now!) and it’s just stuck. Read this article and watch this video (”Navy Seal Admiral Shares Reasons to Make Bed Everyday”) about why making your bed is awesome. Seriously, just a minute of your day and so many benefits!

Play my energetic, poppy music to get me energized for the day and to put me in a good mood. These are typically upbeat songs or my personal faves. I play this while I’m getting ready.

Prep my face & get dressed. Basically, moisturize, apply sunscreen, apply my BB cream/ foundation, mascara, chapstick. (~5 minutes)

Double check my backpack contents. Like my keys and my wallet... most important things LOL. And I also make sure to grab my lunch and refill my Camelbak with water!

Eat a light breakfast. Usually, it’s 2 waffles + a cup of tea.

I can usually do this whole route in about 30 minutes (but since I don’t like to be in a rush, I give myself 45 minutes in the morning.)

I have two alarms each morning. One to wake me physically up, and another to tell me to leave the house. I am not one of those people who need 10 alarms to wake up. I just have one alarm to wake me up, and it’s just on volume 2. I’ve had roommates who needed multiple, LOUD alarms to wake them up and it was frustrating for me but I suppose there wasn’t much they could do about it if they were heavy sleepers lol.