#and i forget to upload it to the internet every year too

[leuxcrows]

i think i forgot to post this here damn ok

[jayflrt]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟕𝟖𝟔 19. attention seeker

welcome to the second act. warnings for this chapter include depictions of alcoholism and family issues

'BEING AN INFLUENCER WAS A REAL JOB THAT REQUIRED A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF WORK.'

Yeah, right.

Shin Yuna heard phrases along those lines all the time. Whenever she watched other people's content, a good majority of the influencers would rant about how difficult their life was, or how stressful their workload was when it came to recording and editing.

Sure, it took some effort to edit and upload new content. Yuna allocated several hours a week to do so, but all she had to do was set up a livestream for the cash to start rolling in. Wear something skimpy. Bat her lashes at the camera. Pout a little. Play up the damsel in distress act. It was simply too easy.

princessval***: omg girl pls stop drinking 😭 onlyyuna03: she's so messy i love her luvyuna***: you're back already? i thought you were taking a break onlyyuna03: @luvyuna*** you must be new LOL she always does this

But this—the flood of comments that poisoned her screen—was the curse of putting herself on the internet.

It wasn't like this during her first year of streaming. Back in high school, Yuna's parents were fighting every day, and since she didn't have any friends to talk to, she turned to the internet. She would stay up all night in random Discord servers, chatting with strangers and confiding in them about her family issues.

Naturally, these chats turned into voice calls, which later turned into video calls. Initiated by her, of course. No one else had their cameras on, though; Yuna quickly grew comfortable being in the spotlight, basking in the glow of praise from strangers. Comments like 'you're so gorgeous' and 'you should be a model' made her forget all about her family issues for a split second. Like that, it became like a drug for her.

Yuna, who was starved of attention, relished in the validation she got from online strangers. Strangers who wouldn't even share any personal information about themselves, going by fake names and hiding how old they were.

Soon after, she made her own Discord server, inviting everyone who wanted to see her get in front of her camera and talk about her day. She knew how to play her angles well, acting as if she was everyone's girlfriend while using them to satisfy her need for attention. It was a classic marketing strategy: Yuna knew her asset was her beauty, so she used it to her advantage.

All she had to do was send a picture of herself or talk in a cute voice, and everyone would fawn over her in seconds. In a life where Yuna's own parents neglected her, she found people who cared. Maybe their intentions weren't in the right place, but they were present and ready to listen to whatever she had to say.

She got ambitious, deciding to start live-streaming to a wider audience. Yuna started on Twitch, playing various games like Overwatch and League of Legends. She didn't have to be very good as long as people liked her face and stayed for her reactions.

As she grew a following, she moved to YouTube and TikTok, doubling her follower count in only months. Before, she would be talking to an audience of around 20 people, but now she was racking in thousands as soon as she went live.

Of course, there came drama, too. And Yuna found it exhilarating.

If someone called her out on something, all she had to do was come up with some sob story about how she didn't deserve to hear that, and everyone would come with pitchforks to defend her. She was very calculative in that way, knowing exactly when and how to turn the tide if it wasn't in her favor.

For some reason, that never seemed to work with her parents.

"You're a disappointment," her father spat at her the day she showed him her Yale acceptance letter. She had sparkles in her eyes and a bright smile all day, only for her to feel completely crushed. She couldn't understand why; it was her father's dream for her to get into Yale, after all. "This is the only acceptance letter you've got, huh?"

Yuna hesitated. The competition for all of the Ivy League schools was rough this year; she had been getting rejections left and right, but she thought her family would be satisfied with Yale. After all, it was her father's alma mater.

"Yeah," she answered in a small voice. She looked down at her acrylic-damaged nails, neglected from years of biting the skin until they bled. "I thought you'd be happy with Yale."

"Happy?" Mr. Shin barked out a laugh. "You didn't actually get into Yale on your own, you know that, right?" He scoffed when Yuna gave him a confused look. Then, Mr. Shin slammed his phone against the dinner table, causing his wife and daughter to flinch. "Five hundred thousand. I paid five hundred thousand to get you in. Mr. Nakamura only paid two to get Kazuha in, but I had to pay five. That's how useless you are."

"Sunoo? You know my old boss's son?" he would provoke her for the rest of dinner. "He got in all by himself. You know Hyejin's son—Anton—he got into Yale and Brown on his own, too."

"You need to work hard, Yuna," Mrs. Shin said before stabbing at her salad. "Your dad could only get you in as an undeclared major. You need to get into pre-med on your own."

Tears prickled her eyes, but she stayed silent. Even her college acceptance was a fraud; she had done nothing out of her own hard work.

Except her skyrocketing career as an influencer.

The high of her fame only lasted a short while, though. During the summer before her freshman year of college, Yuna's parents discovered what she had been getting up to on the internet.

Shameful, they called it, as if Yuna was committing a crime.

Yuna's parents were surgeons, and rather good ones at that. They both got their undergraduate degrees at Stanford, and then their doctorates at Harvard. The two of them became neurosurgeons after their residency and board exams, and then transferred to Mercy Health where Mr. Shin became the Chair of Neurological Surgery, which set the bar a little high for Yuna.

She was never spectacular. She was always more interested in makeup and clothes instead of science and medicine. Yuna would've rather worked toward a career as a fashion designer, often dreaming about fashion shows she could design for. She knew she would make it far, too—even Donatella Versace told her backstage during Paris Fashion Week that she had an eye for fashion, and that she could go far.

The few times she visited your house, she remembered meeting your mom, a well-known fashion designer herself, and showing off her sketches. Yuna distinctly recalled her words of approval, and she had to bite her tongue whenever your mom would offer to take Yuna on a tour of her studio, only for her parents to turn down the offer.

Her parents were so adamant about Yuna following their path to becoming a surgeon that they threw away all of her sketchbooks and colored pencils when she showed them her work. Even when she got the opportunity of a lifetime to be taken under Vivienne Westwood's wing, her parents crushed her dreams under their heels.

From a young age, she knew that hard work was only determined by her parents. Her true efforts were simply considered a waste of time.

Naturally, Yuna let out all her emotions when she live-streamed. It just so happened that her parents found out through the families of people who knew her. First, she would be grounded. When that wouldn't work, she would get all of her devices taken away. When she found a loophole around that, she would have to endure her father's rage.

Halfway through her first year at Yale, her parents disowned her.

She was on academic probation after her first semester. While she was trying to file a restraining order against someone who was stalking her (who claimed to be a fan), her grades managed to slip until she failed most of her classes. The worst part was, she had been expecting her parents to worry about the stalking incident, but they only cared about her GPA. Casting Yuna away was just protecting the Shin family's shiny status.

Everything was gone. Yuna was no longer part of the world you and Sunoo lived in. All her connections to the medical field, all her connections to the fashion industry—all out of her grasp. Still, maybe it was her flickering hope to somehow please her parents that kept her on the path to become a doctor. Not that it something she was genuinely interested in, but she knew it was the only way her parents would take her back.

Now she had to keep up her influencer career to support herself financially. There was no way she would be able to pay off tuition, even if Sunoo had generously paid the deposit for her small apartment. She had to keep up with bills, rent, and utilities all at once, and it was all too much for an eighteen-year-old to handle.

She got used to accepting help because of that. You helped foot some of her bills, Sunoo helped with tuition, Anton helped make sure she was eating, and the money she got from streaming and posting videos was enough to cover the rest of her expenses.

Even with an outlet to express her concerns to her fans, though, Yuna was struggling with barely making friends. You, Sunoo, and Anton were the only ones who lent a shoulder and an ear for her to dump all her pain and worries to. But she still had to hold them at arm's length. After all, all of their upper-crust families were in close contact with each other.

And then there was Lee Heeseung.

He was a new face in the socialite scene. No one had heard of him or his family before. Heeseung was probably Yuna's ideal type—handsome, intelligent, popular, and someone who hadn't been sucked into her world yet. Although he was alledgedly close to you and Park Sunghoon, no one else had any idea of what his family did.

Over the years, Yuna was terrified that she had built a reputation among the rich families that were in her circle. She could feel the disdain in their eyes when she was at social events, steering clear of every adult that looked as though they wanted to probe her for information about her college admissions.

Heeseung, however, was like a breath of fresh air. There was no judgment in his eyes when Yuna spoke to him, and that might have been the very moment she fell for him.

He was different. He didn't have any expectations of her nor did he feel uncomfortable when he found out she was a streamer. She liked that he came from a humble background, and he never judged her from where she came from. Even when Yuna confessed that she had been disowned, Heeseung never looked at her with pity in his eyes. He simply told her that he would be there if she ever needed him, and he left it at that.

She tried her best to get close to him, but the closer Yuna got, the more she saw under the surface—the more she realized she was heading toward heartbreak. It was clear as day that Heeseung was deeply in love with you, and it seemed as though he had no intention of considering any other woman. Even Yuna could tell he would give up everything in a heartbeat for your sake.

Yuna did her best to avoid conversations about Heeseung with you. She figured that if they never brought him up, then you wouldn't start to feel differently about him.

To her relief, you started dating Park Sunghoon.

Yuna used Heeseung's vulnerability to her advantage. As much as she liked him, he was a coward when it came to his own feelings; Heeseung could only bring himself to come clean about how he felt for you after you started dating another man. Of course, he was turned down—ignored, even. In your mind, you just wanted to keep up the fantasy of having a close childhood friend to the point where you had Heeseung bottle up everything he felt.

Yuna thought you were cruel back then, but she was even more so.

She knew that Heeseung couldn't do anything about his feelings no matter how much it ate at him, so Yuna pretended she wanted to listen to him go on and on about how miserable he was. It was all because of you, and, for a period of time, Yuna despised you for it.

Months rolled by, and Yuna found herself going over to Heeseung's dorm room nearly every day. They talked about anything and everything, and then the conversation would eventually shift to you. Yuna felt something chip at her heart every time he mentioned your name, but she braved through it all.

"Thanks for coming over," Heeseung murmured, running a hand through his already-messy hair. Yuna could smell the alcohol on his breath when she sat down next to him on the floor. Heeseung laughed. "One-month anniversary. Y/N always told me she found those stupid."

Yuna pressed her lips into a thin line. She remembered walking to class with you last week and hearing you gush about everything you bought Sunghoon for your one-month anniversary as a couple. She thought it was sweet back then, but hearing it come from Heeseung made Yuna feel sick.

"You don't have to thank me," she said, hugging her knees to her chest. "I just wanted to be here for you."

The first time she tried to kiss Heeseung was that night.

The first time Heeseung rejected her was right after he stopped her.

"I can't," he said at the time, drawing away from her. "I'm sorry, it's just—"

"You're not over Y/N," she finished for him with a twinge of bitterness.

He shook his head, saying nothing. Yuna felt a surge of misdirected anger.

Yuna knew from the moment she met you that people like you were the shiny gold coins that everyone wanted to have, and people like her were rusted-over pennies on the sidewalk to be stepped on and forgotten. She was a fool to think that Heeseung would see past that.

"I know that." Her tone was sharp as she got to her feet, and Heeseung followed suit right after. "But I suggest you get over her soon because it's not gonna happen."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Y/N would never go out with you. She already turned you down, anyway."

"Is that so?"

When Yuna turned around to look at Heeseung, his expression was like stone. Something ugly was twisting its way around her heart, squeezing out every semblance of affection she ever had for you.

"Yeah," she replied with a simpering smile, "because she's just too nice to choose the guy who broke her friend's heart."

"Broke—?"

"And," she said louder, cutting him off, "Sunghoon doesn't know, does he? Wouldn't he feel really betrayed if he found out?"

Heeseung kept his face impassive, but Yuna could tell he was seething. She cornered him quite well.

She kept that farce up for years. It was easy keeping Heeseung in line when you only had eyes for Sunghoon, and Heeseung was just so easily discouraged by Yuna's words. It was almost like he had no hope that you would take his word over hers, and that sent Yuna on some sort of power trip.

Her relationship with you was strange. Maybe it was at that moment when she realized that she was someone important to you, and that made her feel invincible somehow. She could do anything as long as you were on her side.

She liked drinking. Not because she particularly liked the taste of alcohol, but she loved the feeling of forgetting all her responsibilities. Every rotten memory of her parents would bury itself under the sand for the time being, and all she could feel was adrenaline pumping through her blood.

But she was never exactly in control. It only took a year to slip up in front of her friend group (thankfully when you weren't around), so she begged Karina, Yeonjun, and Giselle to keep quiet about her crush on Heeseung. They weren't even extremely close at the time, but they knew better than to tread on a situation between you and Sunghoon, whose parents were far more influential than theirs.

"It's only gonna cause more problems if she finds out," Yuna told them through choked sobs. "If Y/N finds out, things will never be the same between us, and Sunghoon doesn't even know that Heeseung has feelings for Y/N." As Giselle stroked her hair gently, Yuna said, "I can get over him on my own. Just please keep this from Y/N."

Karina and Yeonjun exchanged nervous looks before they reluctantly agreed. She had always been wary about Karina. Giselle was overly-empathetic to her situation, Yeonjun was a good listener because he thrived off of drama, but Karina had always seemed more skeptical.

And, as Heeseung knew, Yuna always found a way to silence people who she felt she couldn't trust, so she played dumb when she outed Karina on live.

It was a stupid move on her part, to be fair. Yuna deeply regretted it as soon as she realized what she said. Karina iced her out for months, and everyone else was on the colder side—even Sunoo, who had been her close friend for so long. She always felt strangely jealous of Sunoo, who got the approval of her father when she couldn't, but seeing him give her the cold shoulder nearly sent her over the edge.

"I apologized so many times!" she cried to him. Sunoo kept his guard up, but he always heard her out when she needed him. "I just don't know what else to do. I keep fucking up."

Sunoo frowned. "Do you even feel bad about what you did, or do you feel bad because you were caught?"

Yuna didn't respond to his question, but she knew exactly what the answer was. Was she pathetic? Probably.

She ruined everything. She always ruined everything.

Maybe it was just easier that way. Yuna knew that if she tried her best to please everyone, it would still never be enough. Hurting them before she cared too much was just a defense mechanism, as selfish as it sounded. If you chopped down the tree before it grew too tall, it wouldn't hinder the plants under its shade from growing.

The thing was, Yuna received blow after blow all her life without any acts of mercy. She was struck over and over again, and no one delivered the final coup de grâce.

Naturally, Karina came around and forgave her. Another missed blow. It was like Yuna was drunk off the drama itself because if she kept acting out and causing all these problems, then she could keep everyone's attention on her.

And then she wouldn't have to be so alone.

But the cycle went on and on, so when Yuna found herself texting Jay and Sunghoon in her drunken stupor, she hardly considered the consequences when she mentioned the long-kept secret of Heeseung's first love. You trusted her to keep your conversation with Jay about breaking up with Sunghoon to herself, but she violated that as soon as she could, too. She wasn't sure what it was, but whenever she looked in the mirror, all she saw was that she was as bad as her parents.

Yuna was fated to fall into the same destructive cycle over and over again until it stabbed her in the back for good. Until she bled out, though, everything was fair game.

prev | masterlist | next

SUMMARY ▸ private investigator jay park just wants to complete his mission quietly and move on with his life. you, his new assignment who keeps consuming his thoughts, don't make that very easy for him.

TAG LIST ▸ @zdgx1 @smouches @heesdazed @teawithbucky @leep0ems @peachpie4you @niniissus @kgneptun @jaeyunluvr @hooniesuniverse @zerasari @enhalov @sophiko22 @iselltulips @hoondiors @baekhyunstruly @jays-property @woninluv @heerinnie @fakeuwus @yizhoutv @en-happiness @theothernads @y4wnjunz @dammit-jjk @en-happiness @mari-oclock @enhypens-baby @soonyoungblr @jakeslvt @taetaenic @jebetwo @fairysungx @hsgwrld @shmooooo @ineedsomezzz @mrowwww @enha-stars @isawritesss @seongclb @lockburn-castle @alyssajavenss @enczen @calumsfringe @w3bqrl @luvyev @uhsakusa @luvnicho @wildflowermooon @navsnct

[unfortunate17]

whats your fav wilmon headcanon? where do you think they’ll end up living after graduation?

you know I was going to reply that I don’t have very specific headcanons but I was thinking about it as I got ready for bed and -

I like to think that Wilmon, above all else, prioritize making experiences together and having fun doing things Wille always thought impossible for them. I think they do long distance for college and Simon is so afraid that it’s going to be hard, especially for Wille, but it ends up being one of the best things to happen to them - Wille learns to find his own interests and make friends and just be a regular young adult who makes mistakes in the kitchen and skips class. Ofc they see eachother on the weekends and holidays 🥰

I think Wille majors in something like Literature and writes a lot of poetry on the side, then does a 360 and goes on to get a PhD in a stem field just because he can change his mind now and do whatever he likes. All of the poetry he writes ends up being for Simon - and the first time Simon gets one, it’s as a birthday present, and he cries.

Simon, on the other hand, has a very clear vision of his dream job, so he gets an audio engineering degree, and works behind the scenes producing and mixing music. He still sings occasionally ofc and everytime he uploads a video to social media, it blows up because you can always hear Wille clapping & cheering at the end of each one - and the internet is naturally obsessed with them.

Wille’s interest in fashion develops, but remains a hobby, and he starts to experiment with cuts and silhouettes - luckily he has the perfect (albeit reluctant) model at home. He goes out shopping with Felice and every time Simon’s like oh what did you get?, Wille shows him one thing he bought for himself and six other things that he thought Simon would look amazing in.

They spend their 20s just luxuriating in each other - visiting one another at work, trying different restaurants and bars, partying together - hosting friends and out at clubs, and TRAVELING. Simon has always wanted to see the world and Wille is determined to show it to him. I think home base will always be Stockholm for them, but they’re definitely globe trotters.

Ofc they fight and squabble like children - but they can never stay mad at each other for too long. Sometimes Simon cracks first, turning to show Wille something on his phone, forgetting that he’s supposed to be mad, and sometimes, it’s Wille - who’ll just slide up behind Simon to hold him as he sniffles and Simon always melts instantly. They learn to communicate better, especially when they move in together - Wille picks up a sport to channel his temper and Simon learns to actually vocalize his feelings and wants.

Wille’s relationship with his parents also improves drastically now that he’s no longer forced into being someone he doesn’t want to be. Him and his mother slowly start to understand each other better, especially as Wille gets older and starts wondering if he wants a family of his own and Kristina softens with age and love, especially when faced with Wilhelm’s sheer, unbridled happiness. When Linda gets married, her and Ludvig both attend the ceremony with Wille & Simon and it is the talk of the internet. Ofc Wilmon wedding rumors start to swirl everywhere after that.

Still, Simon and Wille don’t get engaged until they’re in their early 30s and stay engaged for a few years before they tie the knot in a small court house ceremony with little fanfare. Wille picks out Simon’s suit and alters it himself, and despite not being the Lit major, Simon writes him the most beautiful vows.

As for children - Simon kind of wants them, but Wille’s unsure. Maybe they have one, maybe they just get a pet. Either way, once they get married, they give a rare public interview where Simon and Wille finally talk about their tumultuous coming of age story. It’s so funny, Wille says, that he had to leave his crown and title behind to find his happily ever after. Simon jokes that it’s like a reverse Cinderella story.

And yet, what a fairytale they make: a troubled, delinquent prince who crossed paths with a small town boy with big dreams who changed the very trajectory of his life.

[batshaped]

twitter stop fucking up for one second challenge (impossible)

well,

here’s the thing. it feels like social media is changing lately. every social media site seems to be fucking up or getting worse in its own special little way. i recently read and thought a lot about this article which coins the term “enshittification” and describes the process by which every social media platform eventually becomes so greedy as to become unusable. it makes me wonder if the social internet is due for a big shift in the near future. 

for a long time, twitter was the best place for me. for all its issues, it had the audience that i could reach the easiest, that was the most invested in my art. i got (still get) a lot of awesome replies and really great analysis of my work on twitter, which i didn’t receive on any other platform. i was able to encourage those readers by retweeting their comments and theories to show that i liked hearing their thoughts. i could use the Moments feature to organize my art and make my comic easily readable in order. and anyone could look at my twitter, account or no.

ever since the site was bought out, twitter is getting worse. i can’t use the app on mobile anymore because every reply section is drowned out by blue checks and choked with ads. the Moments feature was disabled and people couldn’t easily read my comics in order anymore. and this is without even touching on the bigger/more serious issues the buyout has brought to the app. these are just the ways it has made my personal experience of being an artist on there worse. and now, apparently, you can’t even look at my work unless you have an account.

it’s been pretty common in the past year for the new management to implement a bad feature and then undo it after backlash, and maybe this too will be reversed. but even if it is unimplemented, the platform will continue to get worse. all platforms are getting worse right now. all of them are becoming untenable to use without 7 bespoke browser extensions to block ads, hide specific unwanted content, force chronological order, and so on. on mobile i don’t even bother. apps are unusable. 

on top of that, i have the personal issue of not being the type of creator who is particularly good at staying on top of more than one or two platforms daily. twitter has been my main for years now, so i’m pretty good about updating it very regularly. instagram is trailing behind, i usually remember to post there daily (especially as i’m remaking mine right now and posting my entire backlog) but sometimes i forget. and that’s kind of my limit. every other site falls by the wayside because i just don’t want to spend my whole day or life updating platforms. i know there are tools that can do it automatically for you but i don’t want to do it that way and then i’d have to figure out a new tool and get yet another account on yet another app and install yet another extension to use it.

i just want to draw. i don’t know how we arrived at this place where we need to be 700 other things when we are just artists. i draw and write, isn’t that enough? if i wanted a presence on tiktok i’d also have to be a video editor who pays close attention to trends and makes sure to transform my artwork into something people on that app are interested in. even if i just wanted to have a strong presence on say, twitter/instagram/tumblr/tapas/webtoon i’d have to take on another (unpaid) job as my own social media manager, meticulously managing my uploads across 5+ apps and making sure everything is up to date and tailored to what “works” on each particular platform. i already have a day job—i’m a storyboard artist. the art i post online is supposed to be made and given freely for my own enrichment first and foremost, and for the joy of sharing with others as a close second.

i wonder if we’re due for a mass rejection of this increasingly draining cable-wars-style model of spreading ourselves thin across multiple platforms just to reach the exclusive audience each one provides. i’m starting to feel done with that concept, but i still want to share my art. i want to hear my readers’ thoughts. i want to create things that connect with others. i want to do it without these ever-mounting obstacles.

what i’m doing about it is creating my own website at my own domain that belongs to me. i doubt i’ll be quitting social media when it’s done. social media is still where the audience i cherish lives. but you can bet that when that website is ready to be shared, i’ll be talking about it on every social media account i own. i’ll be telling everyone there’s a place to look at my art where you don’t need an account, you don’t have to struggle through a morass of ads, and you don’t have to line the pockets of a billionaire who bought a social media app on a whim. it’ll just be you and my art. alone together.

by the way, to @whatthehelljake​ i apologize for writing a fucking SAT essay on a screenshot of your reply. any exasperated tone here is not directed at you at all. it’s directed at this sea of obstacles that disrupt the simple concept of “i made art and i want to share it with you.” your reply is how i found out today that twitter made this change. i cherish the fact that you want to connect with my art so much that you alerted me to this. i wish that wasn’t necessary. i want to make my work on my own terms—and want you to be able to experience it on YOUR own terms.

all that to say, i think the website is going to be the main answer to this issue. i don’t see myself having the energy to update tumblr that much more often than i already do, though maybe i’ll try to pick up the pace a little now. we’ll see. holy shit if you read all this go drink a glass of water or something get up and stretch. ok thank you bye <3

[franklyautistic]

WrongPlanet.net, the largest autism forum, is in the midst of a hostile takeover

tl;dr: WrongPlanet’s owner got hacked and there are now no mods. Please signal boost this so that autistic people know the site is likely to be unsafe from now on.

I heard that Alex Plank, the absentee admin of WrongPlanet, had returned with a big announcement. 

Here it is:

Hey there, fellow Wrong Planeters! I know it's been an eternity since I last graced this forum with my presence. I apologize for my absence, but I come bearing an astonishing tale of woe and wonder. Brace yourselves, for I suffer from the most peculiar affliction known to mankind: "Chronic Update Blockage Disorder (and forgetting to change my password)." Yes, you read that right. For a decade now, I have been plagued by a condition that has kept me from updating Wrong Planet, ensuring that it remains untouched, like a relic preserved for future generations to marvel at. Imagine the monumental impact this has had on the state of the internet. Don't worry; I'll give you a moment to gather your thoughts. Now, you may be wondering how such an unusual ailment came to be. Well, let me enlighten you. It all began when I was innocently tinkering with some HTML code, trying to add a dancing unicorn GIF to my signature. Little did I know that this innocent act of digital mischief would lead to my tragic downfall. In a bizarre twist of fate, my fingers slipped on the keyboard, causing a cataclysmic error in the space-time continuum. A rift opened up, and Wrong Planet was sucked into a parallel dimension—an alternate reality where updating websites is a crime punishable by being forced to listen to dial-up modem noises on repeat for eternity. It's a dimension where webmasters are trapped in a perpetual loop of server errors and broken links. Oh, the horror! Ever since that fateful day, I have been caught in a cosmic limbo, unable to break free from the clutches of my disorder. Every time I attempt to update the site, my hands freeze, my eyes glaze over, and my mind is overrun with visions of cascading style sheets and merciless pop-up ads. It's like a digital possession straight out of a techno-horror movie. But fear not! I refuse to let this affliction define me. In my isolation, I have become a webmaster hermit, a guru of outdated HTML and obsolete plugins. I have attained a level of enlightenment that transcends the mere mortal realm of web development. My website, frozen in time, stands as a testament to my indomitable spirit and steadfast refusal to give in to the relentless march of progress. So, as I sit here in my digital dungeon, surrounded by stacks of floppy disks and a shrine dedicated to the ancient Netscape Navigator, I implore you all to cherish your ability to update your websites. Take a moment to appreciate the mundane task of uploading a new blog post or tweaking your site's layout, for it is a privilege denied to the unfortunate few, like me. In conclusion, I hope my tale of woe has brought a smile to your face, despite the tragic consequences it has had on my own online presence. Remember, life is unpredictable, and so are the pitfalls of the digital world. Cherish your ability to hit that "Publish" button, for you never know when it might be taken away from you, leaving you stranded in the abyss of chronic update blockage and forgetting to change my password that's been used for over 10 years. Yours humorously, The Eternally Unresponsive Webmaster Alex i come in peace

Now this is a weird post, right?

Some early commenters mentioned that this was weird - one accused “Alex” of being high - but most of them seemed to think it was just Alex being a bit goofy.

Then on page two, we have a post from The_Walrus, a long-serving moderator. Well, former moderator:

There is a >95% probability that it isn't the real Alex, and instead his account has been compromised. Firstly, Alex doesn't write like that. It just isn't his style. It's far too poetic. Alex is usually very direct and blunt. It's also self-deprecating in a way I do not associate with Alex. Additionally:

Quote:

Take a moment to appreciate the mundane task of uploading a new blog post or tweaking your site's layout, for it is a privilege denied to the unfortunate few, like me.

In conclusion, I hope my tale of woe has brought a smile to your face, despite the tragic consequences it has had on my own online presence. Remember, life is unpredictable, and so are the pitfalls of the digital world. Cherish your ability to hit that "Publish" button, for you never know when it might be taken away from you, leaving you stranded in the abyss of chronic update blockage and forgetting to change my password that's been used for over 10 years.

This is pretty much spelling it out - this individual has gained access to Alex's account. Alex's email address has been involved in 30 data breaches, according to https://haveibeenpwned.com/. Having failed to update his site for a long time, the "hacker" (using that word loosely) feels that Alex has forfeited the right to it.

Additionally, all moderators and admins (apart from Alex himself) have been stripped of their permissions.

This is obviously a regular WrongPlanet user, and I can make an educated guess as to who, but almost certainly isn't the real Alex.

To this, “Alex” responded “educate my balls, Cartman”.

It seems WrongPlanet is probably permanently compromised. It has always been a site that has serious issues with spammers, scammers, and passing trolls, but those issues are only likely to get worse now.

If you are on WrongPlanet mailing lists, be very suspicious of any emails you receive. They are likely to be scams or otherwise misleading.

Please signal boost this post as much as possible... @autie-j @asdcats @chavisory I’d be grateful if you could help get the word out however you feel appropriate.

[wangxianficrecs]

One Can Keep A Secret (If He Does Not Know It's There) by H_Belle

One Can Keep A Secret (If He Does Not Know It's There)

by H_Belle

T, 5k, Wangxian

Summary: At fifteen, during summer camp in Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian invents a bunch of talismans when bored or prompted by Nie Husaisang. Thinking it awfully funny, he creates a throwaway account at a professional cultivation research/purchase network and uploads them for sale for a modest fee. Then, he forgets about the whole thing. Years later, the mysterious Yiling Patriarch is known in all Jianghu as an elusive genius cultivator who revolutionised his field. Those two statements might or might not be related. In other words: three different ways in which Wei Wuxian finds out he is filthy rich and academically acclaimed. That’s it. That’s the story. Kay's comments: This story was absolutely delightful and I loved how it told us the three different ways in which it all went down. I loved the humour and how the characters were protrayed and Wangxian finding their way together was nice in every version too. I'm so weak for genius inventor Wei Wuxian and this story definitely did him justice. And of course, I'm also very fond of modern cultivation stories, so this was just a great read all around for me. Excerpt: Lan Xichen put a placating hand on his uncle’s arm. “Master Wei, don’t you have a phone? Or internet access? Many people have been trying to reach you.” Wei Wuxian cocked his head, ponytail swishing to the side. “Reach me?” Him? What people? Like, cultivation clans people? Sounded fake. “Whatever for?” For a hot moment, it looked like the sheer outrage robbed Lan Qiren of his words. “Have you been paying ANY attention to the world outside this backwater?!” Well. The short answer would be no. The long answer would still be a no but with a fuck you attached that could be extended to a low-key retort.

pov wei wuxian, modern setting, modern with magic, humor, inventor wei wuxian, genius wei wuxian, secret identity, yiling laozu wei wuxian, identity reveal, rogue cultivator wei wuxian, pining lan wangji, getting together, happy ending, college/university, research, good friend nie huaisang, @hedgebelle

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[amethystina]

Who Holds the Devil was a significant part of my 2022. Surely less than yours, but still very important. Its now a year I have start reading it and it's the first time I follow a fic for this long. It's quite a cathartic experience. THAT SAID, happy 2023. May something bring you all the excitement that you offer me chapter by chapter.

Happy 2023 to you too!

It's honestly a little strange to think that my writing can become such an important part of someone else's life, but I'm also thrilled that I can give you all something to enjoy and look forward to. I know it sounds cheesy, but I truly love making other people happy. Even if this specific fanfic is... well, it's a slow and incredibly long one, isn't it? xD

I admit it felt like I hadn't written much this year since Who Holds the Devil still is nowhere near finished, but when I sat down to count it actually ended up being around 180 000 words in total (if you include Yo Han's POV). Which I think most people can agree is a lot. I guess it's easy to forget just how much I've accomplished when I only see how much is still ahead of me.

Anyway! Thank you so, so much for sticking with it for so long. I can't even imagine what it's like having to wait for each chapter the way you all do, especially with my uneven uploading schedule. You're all so patient and lovely and I'm truly blown away by the kindness and support you've all shown me. Who Holds the Devil is, without a doubt, the fic I've received the most encouragement and engagement on — this fandom truly is amazingly generous. And I'm incredibly humbled, especially considering that the fic isn't even finished yet and is, well, only getting longer and longer (though I know exactly where I'm going).

As I've mentioned before, my biggest fear with this fic is that people will tire of it before it's finished. I have a lot planned — Yo Han and Ga On finally getting together isn't even the end — and it's... daunting. And kind of scary. It's so long and so complex and while I love it with every fibre of my being, I have this irrational fear of it becoming dreadfully boring to everyone but me. I know that isn't likely to happen, but our brains rarely listen to reason.

Either way, I'm hoping to write more next year, though I in no way blame myself for having to cut down on the pace this year. More than one close family member has died, long covid is still going strong, I've had issues with my hands, and, this morning — as a final fuck you from 2022, I guess — I fell down the stairs x'D Only three to fours steps, thankfully, and I will without doubt recover, but I'm also bruised, in pain, and very much done with 2022 now.

Above all else, I want to make sure to be more deliberate with what I spend my time on this coming year. I've got so many projects and so many things I want to do and I can't wait to make them a reality! :D The question is really how I'm supposed to have time for them all, but I guess that's a problem for future me.

Okay, this response became a little longer than planned. I guess I'm a little chatty after spending so much time away from the internet or something x'D

SO. Thank you again and I wish you a wonderful 2023, too. Take care, darling <3

Happy New Year, everyone!

[goboymusic]

I invented a #superhero called Boner-Man, whose boner has limitless stretch abilities, limitless strength, and moves at lightning speed (the protruding boner is always covered by a red spandex). He can use it to sling across a city like spider-man, or wrap it around the Earth’s moon and hurl it at an alien mothership. His powers are only present while aroused, and unfortunately he can only get aroused by frotteurism. This leads to endless legal issues and compromises by the judicial system as they must punish him, but not too much, because they still need his help.

“Under City Lights” was GoBoy’s 1st song made with #LogicPro, which has been used for every song since, and it’s about a girl that I was enamored with at the time. The chorus lyrics say “got a free lollipop from the party store,” because those were the first words she said to me. We ended up doing one of those “long distance relationship” things for a year.

This was written as a full length song, but only 1 minute of it was produced. Plan was to eventually produce the rest, but “Fresh Like Whoa (Song 4)” became a distraction because it was more exciting.

The chorus beat was inspired by “Burnin’ Up” by @jonasbrothers.

The chorus melody and lyrics were eventually reused for the bridge in “Girl Like That (Song 8).”

I watched the film “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” on an autumn night with about a dozen teens my age after uploading “Under City Lights” to the internet. It’s a fond memory.

For these early songs, plagued with bad production quality, a lofi amp plugin was used on a majority of the vocals, making it sound like I’m singing through a crappy radio transmission. The lofi amp plugin sounded good to me at the time because it cut out low frequencies and accentuated mid-high range frequencies. Those results could have been accomplished with EQ, which would have avoided the lofi sound, but I didn’t know that that was an option. Also wouldn’t learn about adding compression to vocals until song 9. (excerpts from post 1).

Girl pants, flat iron straightened #emo hair, gauges, screamo bands, necklaces, way too many bracelets. Stoney Creek #HighSchool friends and I were part of the American Midwest’s “scene subculture,” often labeled as “#scenekids,” which emerged from the pre-existing emo subculture. A subculture within a subculture (subcultureception). Basically emo, but our color scheme wasn’t limited to black. Some of the biggest artists to arise from this subtle counterculture subculture are We Came As Romans (@wecameasromans), Of Mice & Men (@omandm) and Beartooth (@beartoothband). This subculture consumed my life throughout the production of songs 1 - 4 (excerpt from post 1).

[hintofelation99]

The Justice League Hangs out with Duke

Bruce: Duke, it's time we had the talk.

Duke: Uh... nope. No thank you. I'm not getting the sex talk from Batman.

Bruce: What? No! The Robin talk.

Duke: But, I'm- I'm the Signal now? Isn't it a bit late for a Robin talk?

Bruce: Son, it's never too late, not for this.

Duke: Um. Ok.

Bruce: When Dick, Jason, and Tim first started as Robins they created a tradition. A tradition that continued with Stephanie, Damian, and now you.

Duke: And that tradition is?

Bruce: Taking down the Justice League. By being annoying and slightly terrifying.

Duke: OHHHHHH. Is that why no one from the Justice League talks to me?

Bruce: Yes, yes it is. But don't worry. I made an arrangement that will allow you time alone with league members to continue the tradition. You have a week to prepare.

——————

Duke: Cass, what do I do?

Cass raises an eyebrow at Duke.

Duke: For the Robin tradition thing. I have to take down the entire Justice League in a night using creative, outlandish, and original methods. But it's already been done by Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, and Steph. So what do I do? How can I be better than all of them.

Cass smirks: Take them down too.

Duke looking at Cass like she's crazy: What?

Cass: Take. Them. Down.

Duke: Holy shit, you are terrifying.

Cass just smiles and leaves.

-> One Week Later <-

Wonder Woman, Superman, Flash, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Black Canary, Martian Manhunter, Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, and Steph gather in the Watchtower.

Duke: Hey guys, Batman just wanted to go through some training exercises with everyone. He'll be a little late. Harley and Ivy escaped Arkham and are trying to grow penis shaped shrubs in all the public parks. But, don't worry he asked me to go ahead and start with out him.

Green Lantern: Why are you leading this meeting?

Duke: Batman is running late and he wants me to practice leading meetings.

Green Lantern, glaring suspiciously at Duke: Are you about to do that stupid Robin tradition where you torture all of us?

Duke: What Robin tradition? Also, I'm not even a Robin? I'm the Signal.

Green Lantern continues to glare at him.

Superman: Calm down Green Lantern, the Robins never do this in front of each other.

Every League member seems to relax at this.

Duke acting confused: Uhhh, yeah. Ok, we have a few housekeeping things to do according to the list Batman left. So, I'll have everyone pair up for sparring while I handle these individually.

------

Everyone is in the training room working out or sparring. Duke approaches Tim.

Duke: Hey Tim, Bruce wanted you to look in to that Bludhaven case. Is that ok with you?

Tim: Yeah, why wouldn't it be?

Duke: Oh, I just thought it might be difficult considering what Dick did.

Tim: ...What did he do?

Duke: Wait, you haven't noticed? Oh no, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything.

Tim: Duke. Tell me what he did.

Duke: Well, Jason said that he replaced all your coffee with decaf.

Tim: THAT BASTARD. No wonder I've been feeling so tired! I'm going to kill him!

Duke: Wait, just stop! I heard that he hid all of it in Green Lantern's room.

Tim: Wait, why there?

Duke: Something about you being afraid of him.

Tim: WHAT?! I'm not afraid of the Green Nightlight! I'm gonna find that coffee then make Dick pay.

Duke: Oh, well cool, good luck!

------

Green Lantern: Um, what are you doing in my room?

Tim: Where is it?

Green Lantern: Where's what?

Tim: You know what I want. Give up now or face the consequences.

Green Lantern: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Tim: Fine. Consequences.

------

Steph, sparring with Duke: So, what's it like being the first meta bat?

Duke: Not too bad, but I could do with out the whole 'predict the future' thing.

Steph, laughing: What? You can not see the future.

Duke: I bet you $50 I can

Steph: Your on.

Duke, makes everything around him light up and uses a weird voice: In the next thirty minutes Green Lantern will flee the Watchtower in fear. Soon after Dick will be attacked by Tim.

Steph, snorts in obvious disbelief.

Steph: That was so fake-

Green Lantern runs out of the tower looking terrified.

Steph: No way.

Tim tackles Dick and they start fighting like three year old's on the floor.

Steph, handing Duke $50: Holy shit Magic Man.

Duke makes things light up and does the voice again: Oh my god.

Steph, looking excited: What?!

Duke: The- the sushi. The sushi you brought today, it's made from-

Duke pretends to choke back a sob.

Duke: It's made from the fish who was the maid of honor at Aquaman's wedding.

Steph: HOLY SHIT.

------

Steph and Aquaman sit beside each other for lunch, she pulls out her sushi and looks at Aquaman sadly.

Steph: I am so, so sorry for your loss. But just know that her sacrifice is not in vain.

Aquaman, looks confused for a second then sees the sushi: NOPE. Not this again! I'm leaving.

Steph: Wait! I'm sorry!

Aquaman leaves as Steph tries to chase him down.

------

Jason is laughing and filming as Dick and Tim fight.

Duke, whistles: Man, imagine if that video went on YouTube.

Jason, looking confused: What?

Duke: I'm just saying if the video of Red Robin and Nightwing fighting like kids ever got on YouTube, it'd go viral. Oh and they would be so pissed!

Jason, laughs: Too bad B would kill me if I uploaded this.

Duke: Yeah, I guess so. And you can't upload it here because then Superman would get in trouble.

Jason: Why would the boy scout get in trouble?

Duke: Cause he always uses his YouTube account on the Justice League computer. So it'd look like he uploaded it and B would find out that Superman watches cat videos while he's on monitor duty.

Jason, smirking: Huh, so you're saying if I upload this on the League computer I'd piss off Bruce, Tim, and Dick and get Supes in trouble?

Duke, acting innocent: Huh, I guess so.

-> A Few Minutes Later <-

A call from Bruce comes up on the main computer.

Superman: Hey Batman, what can I do for you?

Bruce: You, Red Hood, cave now.

Jason: What? Why me?

Bruce: Because I saw that little home video you uploaded of your brothers.

Jason: What, that wasn't me!

Bruce: I could hear you laughing while you filmed.

Jason: Dammit.

Jason and Clark leave for the cave pouting like kids.

------

Duke: Hey, Black Canary?

Black Canary: Yes Duke?

Duke: I'm sorry to do this on such short notice, but I'm very worried about Dick and Tim.

Black Canary: Why?

Duke: Well, Tim keeps claiming that Dick is out to get him. Something about Dick messing with his coffee? And Dick feels like he's just being attacked for no reason and is worried about Tim's health. Is there anyway you could intervene?

Black Canary, looking sighing and looking exhausted: Usually I have three days of preparation before dealing with bats.

Duke: I know it's just-

Duke gestures to Tim and Dick rolling on the floor fighting.

Duke: They really need help.

Black Canary: Alright, I'll see what I can do.

Black Canary attempts to intervene only to get pulled into the fight. Now the three of them are tangled in a huge, confusing fight, that's filled with yelling and hair pulling.

------

Duke: Damian! Quick!

Damian: What is it Thomas.

Duke: I think somethings wrong with Dick and Tim and maybe even Black Canary. They're all fighting and won't stop! Can you help me contain them so that we can figure out what's going on?

Damian: Fine. I shall help.

Duke: Ok, just try to herd them into this containment cell.

Damian joins the fight managing to get everyone, including himself, into the containment cell. As Damian is trying to leave Duke closes the cell. Damian angrily yells and bangs on the sound proof walls.

Duke: What? Sorry, can't hear you! My hand slipped!

------

Wonder Woman: Very well done Signal.

Duke, acting innocent: Hm?

Wonder Woman: You tricked Red Robin into scaring Green Lantern away, then into fighting Nightwing. Once that fight broke out you tricked Red Hood into uploading a video to the internet using the Superman's credentials. By uploading that video he caused both himself and Superman to face Batman's wrath. You also used the fight to trick Stephanie into annoying Aquaman to the point of leaving. Then you involved Black Canary in the fight, which was her downfall. And, as a final touch, you managed to get Robin into the fight and trapped all in a containment cell. You successfully eliminated 9 foes with one trick.

Duke: You mean 11.

Wonder Woman: What?

Duke: 11. You see, I didn't trick Red Robin, I tricked Nightwing. I had a week to prepare. In that week I convinced Dick that Tim needed to cut back on the caffeine and that Dick should help by switching all of Tim's coffee with decaf. I also convinced him to hide that coffee in the watchtower, in Green Lantern's room. So that was all true.

Wonder Woman: But, that still does not make 11?

Duke: It does. Because This morning I moved the coffee. I replaced the Flashes decaf with Tim's ultra caffeinated coffee. You see Tim has it specially manufactured to increase the caffeine levels. And, while Flash doesn't usually drink his coffee in the morning, he's always running late and forgets, he does drink coffee during training breaks. Which is now. So in about five minutes we will have an incredibly caffeinated speedster in the Watchtower. And since you're the only one around right now with a chance of catching him, that's your problem.

Right as Duke finishes Flash runs by, majorly hyped up on caffeine.

Duke: Checkmate.

------

Martian Manhunter: It appears that I am the last remaining League member.

Duke: Yeah, I don't really understand this tradition but apparently every Robin ends it by picking a favorite league member.

Martian Manhunter: Out of all the League members, why have you chosen me?

Duke: Your smart and have a lot of cool powers. Also, I dunno, I hear you sometimes feel like an outsider with the league. Cause, the whole martian thing. And I know it's not the same but, sometimes I feel like an outsider with the bats, being the only meta and all.

Martian Manhunter: You have chosen me so that we may bond over our lack of connections?

Duke: Uhhhh, yeah?

Martian Manhunter: Hm. Very well, I assume that this is your “Robin Weakness”. Apparently every Robin has one.

---------------------------------------------------

<- Previous |

[edwardcaprifolium]

Very true, my good fellow.

Watanabe is my favorite anime director, his work never fails to move me. I made it a ritual of mine to re-watch his animes every year, so here is a list so you may give it a go if you're interested.

Samurai Champloo

This story is about three characters journeying together through Edo period Japan. As you may have noticed in Cowboy Bebop, music plays an important part in Watanabe's art. Samurai Champloo is set during the Edo period but adds an interesting twist: hip-hop. Check out the opening to get a sense of the aesthetic!

By the way, the soundtrack isn't limited to hip-hop. It also has some gut-wrenching folk tunes - possibly inspired by Ainu and Ryukyuan traditional music.

Some political commentary.

It's a comedy, and it's absolutely hilarious. Though to be fair, some of the jokes haven't aged well...

Beware, however, though comedic in nature, this show will surprise you with abrupt shifts in tone and the complexity of its characters.

Finally, to French speakers: Regardez le doublage français, la traduction est très naturelle! De plus, c'est à mon sens la meilleure interpréation du personnage de Jin.

Kids on the Slope

This one is set in the 60's and revolves around two teenagers bonding over jazz.

Great soundtrack, as one would expect from Yoko Kano. See video for reference.

Unlike the other animes on this list, this is not an original work but an adaptation of the eponymous manga.

If you're into slice of life go ahead.

Terror in Resonance (ZNT)

Here is an excerpt from the Wikipedia summary: "In an alternative iteration of the present, two teenage boys who go by the names Nine and Twelve steal a prototype atomic bomb in an apparent terrorist attack. Calling themselves "Sphinx" (スピンクス, Supinkusu), they upload a video onto the Internet and threaten to destroy Tokyo unless a cryptic riddle can be solved."

I know the premise sounds completely wild but I promise you it is so much more than that.

Action, feels, political commentary (even more so than in Samurai Champloo).

It is hard for me to properly recommend this one. I feel like no matter what I type, it'll never do justice to this masterpiece. This is my absolute favorite anime - with Cowboy Bebop coming a close second. I keep on watching it, year after year, in hopes of understanding what makes it so special. I still haven't figured it out.

Here is how I should convince you to give it a go. Listen to the soundtrack. It is by Yoko Kano (again) and it is very versatile in terms of genre. You may find it here on SoundCloud.

If you watch it, I hope you'll be able to put words on it better than me.

Cowboy Bebop

The one and only (let us all forget about this cursed live-action adaptation).

Doesn't need much of an introduction. It is indeed what gets most people into Watanabe's work.

I recommend the English dub. I mean, it is - with Black Lagoon - one of the best English anime dubs.

Let it speak to your existential angst.

Carole & Tuesday

Two girls pursuing a musical career on Mars.

I admit the ending disappointed me. The series was building up some high stakes, but the main plot line resolved itself too easily. Yet, there is something oddly comforting and touching about it.

Space Dandy

Space Dandy is about a crew of broke alien hunters hunting well... aliens. Check the intro it'll tell you everything you need to know. That aside, it explores the concept of alternate universes.

The overall tone is comparable to Samurai Champloo's: it'll make you laugh, and sometimes, it'll just keep glued to your screen, completely silent.

It's pretty experimental and fun.

The first season consists of episodic adventures. They only develop the plot in the second season, but at least it wraps up better than Carole & Tuesday.

Conclusion

Here it is. His work deserves a bit more recognition - especially ZNT. If you liked Bebop, take a pick, I'll be worth your while.

cowboy bebop is a gateway drug to everything shinichirō watanabe has ever directed

[flightfoot]

Perspective From Another Timeline

Thanks to my betas @steelblaidd and Izzybusy!

I ADORE @buggachat new Bakery Enemies AU. This idea just kept on swirling through my head, I had to write it! This is set between parts 13 and 14, so after Adrien meets Alya and Nino but before Marinette starts sympathizing with him. AO3

---------

“You okay?”

Alya shook her head, trying to clear it. “I’ll be fine. I’ve weathered worse than that - we both have.”

Nino grinned at her. “True that.”

Alya smiled at him fondly, remembering Heroes Day. It was a bittersweet memory, with her having been turned against Nino and them both being akumatized. 

But they had fought to protect each other as best they could. She’d seen Prime Queen’s footage, how Carapace had struggled to get her to fight against Dark Cupid’s magic, how he’d only given into despair after she’d given into akumatization. 

“What did that blast do to us?” Nino wondered. “Everyone else the akuma blasted just disappeared. Why’re we still here?”

Alya’s brow furrowed. “I dunno… hold on, let me check to see whether any new info on the akuma’s been uploaded.”

Pulling out her phone, she tapped on the Akuma News Alert app.

An error message popped up, telling her that she had no internet connection.

Puzzled, Alya checked her phone’s other settings. 

No wifi - no wifi even recognized, much less connectable - no cell service, no connection to the outside world at all.

She glanced over at Nino. “Hey, you got any signal?”

Taking out his own phone, he quickly checked his connection. He shook his head. “Not a single bar.”

Frowning, Alya looked around. “Maybe all the cell towers were taken out?”

Everything looked intact though, no sign of any destruction at all.

Something else caught Alya’s eye. “Hey Nino, what time should it be?”

Nino blinked. “Well I mean lunch just started so it should be a little past noon-”

He glanced around, noticing the long shadows and the pinkish-orange of the evening sky.

“-which it clearly is not anymore,” he concluded.

Great. “Guess Ladybug and Chat Noir must’ve taken a while to defeat the akuma,” she said, putting her phone away. “Hopefully my parents aren’t too worried. They like me to text them just after an akuma attack, but right now…?” she gestured to her pocket.

“My folks aren’t as worried,” Nino said. “But they still expect me back home before the sun goes down. They’ll be getting nervous soon.”

Alya let out a small sigh. “So much for playing Super Penguino together.”

“Hmmm…” Nino’s eyes gleamed. “You know… it’s not night just yet. And I’m sure my parents would understand if I was a few minutes late because I grabbed a bite to eat.”

Grabbed a bite to eat? What was Nino hinting at…?

Alya looked around at their location more closely.

Wait… that blast seemed to have carried them to that one park, the one near-

Alya grinned. “I think my parents will forgive me for not calling in if I bring them fresh-baked treats from the best bakery in Paris.”

---

*ring ring*

The scent of freshly baked bread wafted through the store. 

Instantly Alya felt her shoulders loosen up, releasing tension she didn’t even know she’d had. There was just something so warm and comforting about the bakery.

Of course, a lot of that was due to the people running it. Good luck finding more friendly, caring people than Marinette’s parents. Sabine often checked up on anyone who seemed to be struggling or upset (and ready to protect them if they were - Alya had seen the video of the time a TV crew decided to invade Marinette’s privacy), and Tom was basically a giant teddy bear in human form.

But neither of them were manning the counter today.

Instead a young woman stared back at them.

A very familiar-looking young woman. 

“Marinette?” Alya asked cautiously.

The woman stared at her for a minute. “Alya?” she finally asked. “What happened to you?” She paled. “Did a new supervillain attack? Is that why you and Nino are younger?”

Huh. Weirdly scared reaction from Marinette. They’d all gotten used to supervillains by now. She’d expect an older Marinette to take them in stride even more than the current Marinette.

Hm… an older Marinette, a different time of day, and Marinette not seeming to know about the latest akuma attack? 

“Marinette… what year is it?” 

Marinette blinked for a moment. Her eyes widened.

Seemed Marinette understood what she was getting at.

She told Alya the date.

Her hunch was right. “We’re in the future,” Alya breathed.

A wicked grin slowly spread over her face. 

Five years was a long time. A lot of things could have happened. A lot of information could’ve come to light.

Like Hawkmoth’s identity.

Or more information on the Miraculous.

But most importantly right now-

She leaned in close to Marinette, making sure to keep her voice down, just in case someone else was around in the back. “So did you ever get together with a certain blond-haired, green-eyed model?”

“Uh… what?” Marinette asked, looking puzzled.

Alya snapped her fingers. “Adrien. Did you and Adrien finally get together? Ooooh, if you did you’ve GOTTA tell me how the confession went! Or, no, wait, don’t tell me, I want to get the deets at the time. Just let me know how long I’ve got to wait, girl!”

Marinette just stared at her, slack-jawed. “Adrien… like ADRIEN AGRESTE?!” she said, her volume rising with every word.

Alya’s eyebrows flew up. “Um… yes…?”

She’d thought that Marinette would be glowing about finally getting together with her crush, or dejected about still not being able to spit out what she wanted to say to him, downcast over him rejecting her, or maybe even infuriated because he mistreated her and they subsequently broke up.

(The last one was VERY unlikely though. After the Felix debacle, she’d learned to have a bit more faith in Adrien’s good nature.)

Shock at the concept of dating him? Not something she’d anticipated.

Footsteps echoed from behind Marinette.

So one of Marinette’s parents must’ve been in the back-

Adrien popped his head around the corner.

Seemed both he AND Marinette had aged well. 

Not that Adrien looked all that different. Taller, definitely, maybe with slightly messier hair and… were those earrings? They looked good on him.

“Hey dude!” Nino waved at his best friend. “What’s up?”

“Uh…” Adrien said, scratching the back of his neck.

“WOW those outfits really take the years off, huh?” Marinette said loudly, shoving them out the door. “Make you look smaller than usual. Well we better go talk about plans later okaybye-”

She promptly slammed the door behind them, physically pushing them away from the bakery.

After Marinette had dragged them a good distance away, Alya finally got over her shock, turning around and glaring at her. “What was that about?!” she asked Marinette indignantly, hands on her hips. “You know me, I wasn’t going to spill anything to him. That’s why I was talking so quietly! Why’d you have to do that?!”

Nino frowned, seeming more concerned than annoyed. “Adrien looked really hurt by that. Not cool.”

“There’s nothing to spill!” Marinette protested, gesticulating wildly. “I only met him for the first time two days ago!”

*record scratch*

Two-

Two DAYS ago?!

Ok, hold up.

“Adrien joined our collège class the day after I did! He sits in front of you in class! What’re you TALKING about?!”

“Uh… no…?” Marinette tilted her head to the side, befuddled. “I think I would remember that, even if it was a few years back.” 

Alya let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, no kidding. He would be uh, difficult for you to forget. Heck, even if your memory was erased, you’ve got so much stuff revolving around him, I couldn’t see that lasting long.”

Marinette blushed. “Why do you think I have a crush on him?! He’s HAWKMOTH’S SON!”

“WHAT?!” Alya and Nino yelled in unison.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated Hawkmoth a couple years ago,” Marinette explained, pulling out her phone.

A moment later she held it up, showing a blog post from the Ladyblog.

Oooh, that’s a nice graphical design. I’ll have to look into updating my site, Alya thought.

Turning her attention to the picture, she squinted. “Hey, can you enlarge the photo?” She asked.

Marinette complied, enlarging it and turning her phone sideways, letting it fill the entire screen. 

Gabriel Agreste being led away in handcuffs by the police, with Ladybug and Chat Noir in the background. Ladybug looked satisfied, with maybe a twinge of melancholy, but Chat Noir…

He stared vacantly ahead, seemingly not focused on anyone or anything, a smile on his face - but the most forced one she’d ever seen.

“What’s wrong with Chat Noir?” 

Marinette frowned, looking troubled. “I don’t know. He seemed really, really upset when Hawkmoth was defeated. It was a tough battle, bad enough that neither of them have returned since, but that doesn’t explain why-”

She trailed off, lost in thought. 

A moment later she looked up, meeting Alya’s eyes.

Immediately she waved her hands around, trying to ward off… something. “I- I mean, that’s what I read on the Ladyblog and what I could piece together from video footage, it’s not like I was there, NOPE. I was huddled in my room the entire time. Not like I have any insight into what Chat Noir was acting like during the battle, not beyond what any other civilian would know! That would be ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!” she let out a few forced guffaws.

Alya’s eyebrows flew up.

O...Kay…?

Maybe Marinette had been following Ladybug and Chat Noir during the final battle and hadn’t wanted anyone to know? She’d wondered whether Marinette might have a thing for Chat Noir, but her crush on Adrien dwarfed any feelings she might have had for him. Plus it’s not like Marinette would actually know Chat Noir, unlike Adrien.

Thinking about Adrien…

“He must’ve been devastated,” she murmured. Marinette looked at her questioningly. “Adrien, I mean,” Alya clarified. “Having your father turn out to be a terrorist? I can’t even imagine.”

Marinette buried her face in her hands. “Not you TOO,” she said, her voice muffled.

Nino slowly started edging his way behind Marinette.

“What’s your problem with Adrien?” Alya asked. “Did he do something?”

Marinette glanced away. “Not… exactly… I just… I’m afraid that it might all be an act. That he might’ve been helping Hawkmoth secretly, and… and even if he wasn’t before, that he might just be biding his time, waiting until he figures out who Ladybug and Chat Noir and then BAM!” she slammed her fist down on her other hand. “He takes them out, steals all the Miraculous, frees his father and rules Paris FOREVER!”

Alya reached out towards Marinette tentatively. She collapsed into Alya’s arms. 

Hugging her tightly, she sang a soft nonsense song, rubbing small circles in Marinette’s back. 

She’d done this a few other times since she’d met Marinette, though she’d never thought she’d do it underneath these circumstances.

Whatever these circumstances actually were.

Did everyone have amnesia or…?

“Do you have any big memory gaps?” Alya asked once Marinette’s breathing had calmed down. “Especially from five years ago?” 

Marinette shook her head. 

She’d shelve that theory for now then. More likely it was…

“An alternate timeline, huh?” Alya said.

Marinette looked up at her questioningly.

“That’s what I think this is,” Alya explained. “I WAS thinking that maybe there’d been some sort of mass amnesia, but if you don’t have any memory gaps - and trust me girl, with how involved you were with Adrien, there WOULD be memory gaps - that seems unlikely. I’m betting this is some sort of alternate universe, one where Adrien never got to go to school.”

“I still don’t get why you think there’s something between me and Adrien!” Marinette said. “I mean sure, he’s pretty, but did I really fall for him just for that?” 

Alya shook her head. “Actually, you hated him at first. Chloe’d been bragging about how he was her friend, and with that on top of you catching him trying to remove the gum Chloe’d planted on your seat and mistaking it for him PLANTING the gum… well… both of us just assumed he was a spoiled rich bully, just like Chloe. Luckily that turned out not to be the case.”

“How’d that misunderstanding get cleared up?” Marinette asked. “And how did your Marinette jump from that to crushing on him?”

Alya grinned. Marinette had ranted about this moment to her SO. MANY. TIMES.

“School let out later that day. It was raining and Marinette had forgotten her umbrella, so she hung back a moment, long enough for Adrien to approach her. At first she looked away from him, not wanting to acknowledge his greeting. But then he told you - told her I mean - that he hadn’t done it, promised that he’d just been trying to take it off with such sincerity that she had no choice but to believe it. He opened up to her, even though she’d been shunning him just moments ago. And finally he gave her his umbrella, just because he could. Because it was the kind thing to do. She’s been a goner ever since.”

The Marinette in her arms looked away. “I can see why she might have developed a crush on him. But I still dunno whether I trust him.”

“I don’t know whether I have anything that could convince you on that,” Alya admitted, “especially since this is probably a different timeline, and for all I know he could be evil here. Just make sure that you’re judging him on his own merits, okay? Not who he’s associated with. Not his fault he has so many crappy people in his life.”

“I’ll… take it under consideration,” Marinette said reluctantly. 

Marinette looked from side to side. “Where’d Nino go?”

“Oh, he snuck back into the bakery several minutes ago.”

“WHAT?!”

---

Nino opened the door to the bakery, letting out a small sigh of relief. He really wanted to check in on his best friend, and judging by Marinette’s behavior, she wasn’t exactly keen on him or Alya chatting with Adrien.

Thinking back on what he’d just heard, he frowned. 

He wished he could say that he’d never have suspected that Gabriel was Hawkmoth.

That he didn’t think Adrien’s old man could ever be capable of such evil.

But he knew better.

The guy threatened to withdraw Adrien from school and isolate him from everyone else at the drop of a hat, paid little attention to his son when he was at home, and was a very negative influence on his life in general. He might have been grieving, but… so was Adrien. He needed the only parent he had left.

And instead Gabriel had chosen to respond by becoming a supervillain and terrorizing Paris, endangering his own son in the process.

He really wished he’d gotten to hit Hawkmoth with his turtle shield more. At least he got to relish the smack he got in.

“You’re back!” 

Nino looked towards the voice.

Adrien walked closer to him, a tentative grin on his face. “I didn’t think you’d return so soon!”

“I had to come back to talk to my best friend,” Nino said.

“Best friend?” Adrien asked, blank-faced.

Oh, right. According to Marinette, Adrien hadn’t joined their class. She hadn’t even met Adrien until recently. 

Had some sort of memory-wiping akuma attacked? Wouldn’t have been the first time. 

“Do you know who I am?” Nino asked, pointing at himself.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh… well I know you’re friends with the Ladyblogger and Marinette, and… sorry, that’s it.”

He looked really apologetic, like a dog who’d ripped up a bunch of toilet paper and acted guilty about it once caught.

Hm. If it had been a memory-erasing akuma, maybe he could jog Adrien’s memory…?

And even if it wasn’t, he wanted to let Adrien know that someplace, somewhere, people cared about him. If Marinette’s reaction to him was any indication, he’d need that reassurance. Being looked at with suspicion, having people run from you just because of who your dad was, thinking that you might’ve been involved in his crimes… he couldn’t imagine.

“You joined our class the day after Hawkmoth first attacked,” Nino told him, pulling out his phone.

Adrien shook his head, looking confused. “Uh… no? I wanted to, I REALLY wanted to go to school, but Father-”

He cut himself off, looking away.

“Marinette said the same thing,” Nino told him. “That you hadn’t enrolled in our class, that she’d only met you recently. I don't know what that’s about, whether everyone’s memories were wiped, or an akuma messed with the past, or what.”

Come on, come on, where was it- ah!

He clicked on a photo, one taken a few months ago, holding his phone up so his friend could get a better look.

Adrien squinted for a moment. His eyes widened. “That’s-!”

Nino nodded. “Our class photo. The official one, anyway.” He chuckled. “I liked our unofficial ones better.” Swiping to the side, he showed the new ones the class had taken at the park. 

Adrien’s jaw dropped more with every new photo. He let out an involuntary bark of laughter at the one of himself, Nino, Kim, and Juleka posing. “I- I always wanted to mess around like that at photoshoots,” Adrien said. His voice trembled slightly. “But I wouldn’t be able to get away with it. And that’s mostly fun when you can share it with friends, at least share the picture, and I- I couldn’t. Chloe wouldn’t have appreciated it, and L-”

He cut himself off, shaking his head.

“Luka?” Nino asked. 

He didn’t know why Adrien would know Luka and not anybody else, but he seemed the most likely option.

“Uh…” Adrien scratched the back of his neck, looking away.

Hm, he’d have to see if he had- ah!

“You played in Kitty Section too, with Luka, Rose, Ivan, and Juleka.” Nino explained, clicking on the video. 

Adrien’s hands shook as Nino handed him the phone, watching the mini-concert.

“I- I was allowed to- I got to-” Adrien’s voice quavered. 

“Not at first.” Nino grimaced, remembering how bummed Adrien had sounded when he called him. “Your old man said that Agrestes were soloists, and that we were all bad influences.”

“HE was the bad influence,” Adrien said. A current of anger, of venom ran through his voice that Nino had never heard before. 

“Well I already knew that, even before finding out he was Hawkmoth,” Nino said, making a face. “Dude needed to chill out.”

Adrien snorted. “If he had any ‘chill’ he wouldn’t have decided that becoming a supervillain was the best way to heal my mother.”

Oh.

So THAT was why Gabriel had done it.

He’d just thought it was standard ‘I’m an asshole and want to rule the world while being a jackass to everyone in my life’ behavior.

(He still wasn’t going to rule out that being a factor.)

Nino put a hand on Adrien’s shoulder sympathetically. “At least he’s gone now and you’re free, right?”

“Right,” Adrien said. He didn’t meet Nino’s eyes.

“Not you TOO,” Marinette had said, burying her face in her hands.

As if she found it exasperating that Alya sympathized with Adrien. As if she had expected differently. 

Those worries she’d voiced as Nino had been tiptoeing away, about Adrien helping Hawkmoth, about him lying in wait, biding his time… Marinette probably wasn’t the only one to have that concern. And with Adrien’s face being as well-known as it was...

“You AREN’T free, are you?” Nino asked, eyes wide.

Adrien sighed. “I was as surprised as everyone else when I found out who Hawkmoth was. That someone who’s caused that much harm, that much trauma to this city, lived in my own house.” He clenched his fists, digging into his jean’s fabric. “I could barely believe it… no… I didn’t WANT to believe it.”

He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “I- I only remember snippets from right after his arrest. The police chief talking to me. Riding back to the station. It’s all a blur. Everything felt like I was processing it underwater. It was all so blurry and muffled. Even- even then, though, I could feel everyone’s accusing stares.” “I understand why, don’t get me wrong,” he cut in hurriedly. “Who wouldn’t be suspicious of the son of the terrorist who’s been making everyone’s life miserable for the past four years?” Adrien almost panted with exertion, his eyes wild. “And- and it was happening in my own house! Underneath my nose! I should have KNOWN! I could’ve stopped this!” 

Reaching out, Nino pulled his friend into a hug. 

Adrien stiffened for a moment, before melting into his embrace.

“It’s his fault, not yours,” Nino murmured. “Remember that, dude. He was the adult. He was your parent. Your ONLY remaining parent. I’ve met the guy. And I’ve heard you talk about what he’s like. If you had investigated more?” Nino shuddered, thinking about the disproportionate punishments the bastard had enacted. “And knowing he was HAWKMOTH on top of that? I’m kinda glad you didn’t. Yeah, maybe you could’ve ended things sooner. Or maybe he would’ve hurt you more before you had the chance. I’m just glad you survived.”

“I-” Adrien’s throat sounded tight. “I’m- I’m glad I survived too.”

They stood there for a moment, Nino feeling Adrien’s breath go in-and-out, his heartbeat racing, until it gradually started to slow.

*ring ring*

Adrien and Nino broke up their hug just as Marinette burst through the door, Alya on her heels. She skidded to a halt in front of Adrien - but not quite in time, sending her careening towards the floor.

She never made contact.

“Woah!” Adrien shouted, catching her in his arms.

Nino detected a hint of pink to Marinette’s cheeks before she abruptly sprang to her feet.

“So, uh,” Marinette said awkwardly. “I’m guessing Nino talked to you about some stuff. I mean, of course he talked to you about stuff, because that’s what talking is about. What- what I mean is, what were you two talking about?”

“I wanted to show him how much we care about him,” Nino told her. “Especially since with this… amnesia?”

“I think it’s an alternate timeline,” Alya said. 

“Especially since in this timeline,” Nino continued, “it really doesn’t seem like he had anyone.”

“I had a couple other friends,” Adrien told him quietly, giving a melancholic smile. “But I lost contact with them right after Hawkmoth’s defeat.”

Noticing Nino’s frown, he hastily added, “they didn’t abandon me or anything! They were online friends. One moved somewhere without internet reception, and the other... we never knew each other’s names. But we talked all the time. We chatted, laughed, defeated villains together…”

“In the video games we played, of course!” he added after a moment. He chuckled fondly. “We played as a team. Together, we were unstoppable, no matter what our opponent threw at us.”

Adrien swallowed. “But in the aftermath of Hawkmoth’s defeat, with all the turmoil, with everything that happened… I lost my means of contacting her. I- I don’t know whether I’ll ever get to see her again.”

“We’d promised to meet up after Hawkmoth’s defeat,” Adrien said. His voice cracked. “That- that once it was safer in Paris, we’d finally tell our names.”

His eyes dropped to the ground. “Instead, we lost each other. Maybe for good.”

“I know what that’s like,” Marinette said. She sounded strangely distant. “I had a friend like that too. I cared about him. A lot. Maybe… maybe even as more than a friend.” She said the last part haltingly, as if she’d only just admitted it to herself. “He- he wanted to know who I was. For me to know who he was. But- but I couldn’t do that. Not in Hawkmoth’s Paris. I already cared for him so much it ached. If I was closer to him than that- if I’d accepted his rose- I’m- I’m afraid Hawkmoth might’ve used the strength of those feelings against me. That I could’ve gotten akumatized, or he might’ve, and if we knew who each other was, knew WHERE the other one was… I just… I couldn’t accept that we might be sent to hurt each other.”

“We talked while the final battle was raging,” she continued. “He seemed really upset, more angry than I’ve ever seen him before, but… also kind of sad. I wanted to know what was wrong, but there wasn’t really time to press him. And after that battle he just… disappeared. I knew there was going to be some sort of disruption, but- but I’d thought we’d have more time to talk beforehand, that we’d be able to exchange new contact information. We were cut off before we had the chance.”

“I- I think of him every day,” she said quietly. “Wondering how he’s doing. He was always so positive, no matter what life threw at us. I hope that wherever he is, whatever he’s doing, he hasn’t lost that positivity, that optimism, the ability to see the best in the world and in others.”

“I’m sure he’d be happy to know you cared for him so much,” Adrien said, giving her a warm smile.

Marinette blinked, giving herself a small shake. She turned to Alya. “I dunno whether you’ll remember any of this after the Ladybug in your time restores anything, but on the off-chance you do, is there anything you need to know?”

“Oh!” Alya pulled up some footage. “You told me who Hawkmoth was, but what about Mayura?”

“Mayura?” 

“Who?”

Alya snapped her fingers. “You know, the Peacock Miraculous wielder, the one summoning the sentimonsters! Did she not exist in this universe?”

She pulled up part of the fight against Mayura, the sentimonster Ladybug, and Hawkmoth.

The video ended, she took another glance at Marinette and Adrien.

Marinette seemed to be in shock, staring straight ahead.

Adrien frowned, thinking. “I’d wondered for a long time how Father managed to hide his supervillain activities from Nathalie, considering she was around him most of the time. I thought maybe she was just really good at never asking questions.”

He grimaced. “Looking at that? I’m betting she didn’t ask questions because she already knew the answers.”

“You think Mayura’s Nathalie?” Alya questioned.

He nodded. “Unless something’s different in your universe. My father doesn’t have a lot of associates, and the way he acted around Mayura there, how he was willing to pass up a chance to fight Ladybug for her Miraculous in exchange for catching her… the only people I can think of who he’d do that for are my mother and Nathalie, and mom…” he trailed off.

“I- I didn’t even think about that,” Marinette said guiltily. “I remember reading something about Gabriel having a secretary, but I didn’t think about her much beyond that.”

“Maybe you could ask this universe’s Alya to post something on the Ladyblog, telling Ladybug and Chat Noir she has a lead on who Mayura is?” Alya said. “I mean, I know they haven’t shown up in ages, but maybe that’s just because they haven’t had reason to.”

Marinette winced. “I… really don’t think that’s it… plus Ladybug and Chat Noir never said that someone was helping Hawkmoth. Mayura never appeared, at least in public. I don’t know what we can do about this right now, especially without proof. Maybe if Ladybug and Chat Noir appeared, but…”

She sounded doubtful. Alya was beginning to think that the final battle was even worse than Marinette had alluded to.

She hesitated a moment, before turning to Adrien. “I- I think I owe you an apology. I thought you might’ve been helping Hawkmoth, but… well… I was just judging you by who your dad was. You’ve been nothing but sweet and kind.”

Adrien smiled at her, though it was slightly strained. “It’s fine. I’m used to it. A lot of people in this city have suffered at Hawkmoth’s hands. I don’t blame them for being scared, or angry at any reminders of him.”

“That doesn’t make it RIGHT,” Marinette said heatedly.

Nino nodded. “Dude just because something’s done to you it doesn’t mean it’s justified, or that it shouldn’t be made better. Like with your old man forbidding parties. I didn’t let that stop me from bribing your bodyguard into letting me and the other guys throw a party at your place for you!”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “It kinda escalated though. I think half the guys at Paris were partying in your room by the end!”

Alya gave Nino a sideways look. “And ONLY the guys because they ditched us girls while we were planting trees with a lame excuse. Seriously if you’d said you wanted to throw a party for Adrien while his dad was away, you could’ve just told us!”

Nino winced. “Yeah, my bad. At least we got to have fun there for a while before the akuma attack.”

“Akuma attack?” Adrien asked, eyes wide. “But I thought you said Father was gone!”

“He was- OOOOOOOH.”

“Yeeaaaah I don’t think he was actually gone,” Alya said. “You threw a ‘secret’ party in Hawkmoth’s house, WHILE he was still at home.”

Adrien gaped at Nino. “How’re you not DEAD?!”

Nino chuckled. “Lucky I guess?”

*twinkle twinkle*

A familiar red mass flew towards Alya and Nino.

Adrien’s eyes widened. 

“Behind the portrait!” he blurted out, just as the two of them were enveloped by the ladybugs, spiriting them off to whence they came.

It was silent for a moment.

“Do you think they heard?” Adrien asked Marinette.

“I hope so,” she said, looking off in the direction the ladybugs flew.

She turned to him. “I was planning on setting up some hang out time with Alya and Nino later this week. If you’re not busy… would you like to join?”

His smile told her everything she needed to know.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

ok now if they had tumblrs...what would they mainly post about/reblog?

Spongebob - regular life blogging talking about everything he did and everything he loves. Every day is like a diary entry where he talks about everything wonderful that happened in his day. He also reblogs his friends posts to tell them how much he loves their posts! He's the type to flood your inbox or your dms. He just wants to talk <3

Patrick - weird disoriented posts of his day. Random picture of his pillow. Questions to the obvious "why does salt water taste salty?" And very poorly taken pictures of SB since he loves spongebob. Reblogs SB's posts. Everything he posts his littered with spelling errors. You will not get a response to your dms or asks until a year later. He forgets.

Squidward - two blogs. Art blog. He posts art. Aesthetic blog. He posts/reblogs his aesthetic posts of his favorite things. Breaks aesthetic occasionally to make call out posts about SB. Also occasionally lurks on Squilliam's blog and sends him hate anons.

Mr krabs - promotional blog for his restaurant. Also posts about the navy and the bi curious relationships he had with his navy buddies (but he doesn't view it as such, he thinks its a wholesome just being bros thing)

Karen - cat blog! Mom blog! She'd be mom blogging about her bby chip. She'd also be posting cats. She loves both. Also posts about spot. When their IP address gets banned because of plankton, she just goes to the local internet cafe to keep posting.

Doodlebob - art blog. Posts his drawings. Also posts his trips to the doodle dimension

Sandy - science blog! Also science side of tumblr! Post about any cool science news or hee inventions. Also is readily available to answer any science questions or clear up any misconceptions.

Pearl - regular girl blogging. Posts about her friends and school and outfits. Just regular girly teen girl stuff. I think her and her friends might've actually bullied girly-teen-girl from far away ville off the website. She also maintains the krusty krab blog. You remember how the Wendy's social media was? That's her with the krusty krab official.

Plankton - he tries to bully people off the site. His account got termed 3-4 times. He posts about his inventions and stuff and blogs about his prison time. Usual stuff. Sends hate anons to the krusty krab official but everyone knows its him. I think his IP address is completely banned now so he can't recreate his account so now he just tumblr posts from the library computers. Spends his days hating krabs while making weirdly thirsty hate posts for krabs.

Slappy - cryptic posting. Him vague posting about his day but they're incomprehensible. Too vague to understand what he's really talking about. Occasional picture uploads that are in the darkness with occasional blurry figures in the shadows (possibly sleep paralysis demons). You can see him posing in the background too but the pictures are too blurry to make out. He's not very good at photography. He's usually posting about his regular day. He also posts his poetry aaaand some weird nosferatu worship posting. Occasionally reblogs other peoples post to comment some weird cryptic shit. It looks like a compliment but it feels weird enough that you can't be sure. Oh and dont forget bad death puns.

I think he's also got in trouble once for "brain stealing" drama. He said his brains are 100% ethically sourced! He'd never steal! Smh

[hanniehaeism]

part 5- Naruto run

warning: swearing, mention of food, sunghoon is just dirty minded and jay is kinda thirsty.

Cringy and unedited

word count: around 1374. I just deleted and added something and too lazy to count it.

a/n: be sure to read the written part at the bottom

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—

Well no little snack, Jay thinks before running towards the direction of the student council. 

He’s never actually been there before, he’s just lucky his class is right next to it so he has the privilege to be able to see you every morning, bright and early. 

Should Jay be running? Probably not. But it’s not like students do it everyday. Also it's after school hours most teachers are either off to go home or just don’t care. There are a few teachers that are overly strict that he hopes he doesn’t bump into through his path.

He doesn’t mean to be creepy about knowing your schedule, it was sort of by accident how he knows all of these things. He stays after school everyday because of band practice down in the school’s basement which the old president before you gladly offered to the band. The band was just something Jay started because he wanted to do something with his friends, away from him being known as the rich, fboy in the school and just be him. He still has no idea where the idea of him being as fboy came from.

He didn’t really expect much from it, it was just a way to hang with friends. The school allowed them to perform at events and even some big events at other schools. They uploaded videos of them playing their songs on the internet just to see what happens, but they blew up and are now somewhat famous. All of them love the feeling of being on a stage and want to be able to perform more than just their school auditorium. 

It was a Thursday afternoon when they were about to start practice, he entered the basement to see everybody on their phones. Upset he asked why they were not warming up. For Kai to shove his phone in his face to see his face on the screen from one of their music videos, to see how it blew up and how they are blowing up.

Everyone in that meeting discussed how it’d be cool to be able to perform more and came to the conclusion they needed to ask the student council for help, because they are just a couple of kids with money, but no connections. 

Everyone in that meeting discussed how it’d be cool to be able to perform more and came to the conclusion they needed to ask the student council for help, because they are just a couple of kids with money, but no connections. 

That’s when Jay decides he’s going to speak to you, completely forgetting about his crush on you because he’s too excited about the news of them now famous, as a band. Rushing there only to meet with that secretary that gives everyone detention telling him you left early and that you always leave early on Thursdays.

This is somewhat a similar feeling running into the student council room in order to see you before you leave, but it’s different because he's going to confess his two-year long feelings towards you.

When he gets there, he stops in front of the door in order to catch his breath so it doesn’t look like he ran here and looks desperate.

Lifting up his hand about to knock on the door until he hears, “Park Jongseong it’s open.” 

It catches him off guard, giving him a second before pushing the door open. “H-how did you know it was me?” silently internally cursing at himself, this is supposed to be smooth.

Looking up from what you were writing and closing up your notebook. You were sitting at the school’s president desk where it always is. The school is rich so of course everything looks nice, but the student council room is more than just nice, it’s a spacious clean square room with a couch on the side with a table in front of it. With the big display cases of some of the school’s won trophies. 

“I saw you Naruto ran here from the second floor,” Pointing at the screen on your desk where you have access to the school’s security cameras. 

Jay is now regretting running here, wait so you saw him also stop and fix his hair in front of the door. Oh god this isn’t how the plan is supposed to go should he even ask you? No, too embarrassing now, but he’s here now. WHAT THE HECK IS SUPPOSED TO DO ??

“Do you need anything Park Jongseong?” He freezes nothing knowing what to do when you say his name, because to him it sounds so magically when you say it. Also because he fucked up his ENTIRE PLAN!!

“Is this about the thing Secretary Beomgyu spoke to me about?” Grabbing his attention.

“What, what did he tell you?” Did Kai tell Beomgyu about his crush on you. He knows that the two of them are friends and that Kai can’t keep his mouth closed and neither can Beomgyu. Oh god is he getting rejected being he can even conf-

“The band, the band you’re in, Ghostbusters or something. He said you guys needed my help with something.”

“Yes,” Jay cleared his throat before he continued, “and it’s Blockbusters, not ghostbusters that’s a movie.”

“It is? Huh. Anyways, what is it you guys would like my help with. Also you can come in, Park Jongseong.” 

With that said Jay realizes that he’s been standing behind the front door with only his head and one hand on the door peeking out.

“Ah right,” He steps out from behind and walks up to your desk with a shiny, 10 inch gold with “President Kim Y/n” engraved into it. damn this school is rich.

“We want to perform. Like more than just at the school. We’ve been given permission by the former president to be able to perform for the school and sometimes others and we are forever grateful. 

But we want more, to be able to perform more than just here. We’ve made a recent uprising in popularity on social media and think because of it, it could help with getting people to join our performances.” He finishes, surprised because he hasn’t been able to speak before without completely messing up. This is the longest he’s been able to talk.

“Ok,” poking the inside of your cheek with your touch in though. God why were you so pretty, does god think Jay can handle all of you.

“But what is it you need me to do in order to help you?” You ask.

“We need connections, everywhere we’ve ever performed was planned at the school. Also technically we are still just considered just a ‘school band’ and we can get in trouble if we do any activity as a group without the school’s permission.”

“Hmm,” you nod. You had one of your arms on the desk in front of you and the other up being held by your elbow, he can see as you play with the skin under your nail.

You look over to the side where your phone is placed to check the time, then pick up a book to your left and flip through the pages. He watches as your eyes scan the page for whatever you were looking for, holding the next page reading to flip it. He notices a ring on each index finger, both rings different, they suit your hands, the rings. Well you do have very nice hands-

Jay starts cursing at himself internally at the next thought that came to his mind. Also he proceeds to regret his existence as you finish reading whatever is on the notebook. Praying you don’t see how red his face gotten over a naughty thought.

“Ok I’ll help you,” You break the silence of the room, as Jay screams at himself for having such weird thoughts.

“I’ll hold a little meeting with you and your manager, Yang Jungwon. It is him, correct?”

Jay can only nod too scared of his brain to speak.

“Great, I’ll have a meeting with the two of you about the future plans, around the beginning of the next semester, which starts in less than a month. Will that work?”

Jay nods again.

“Yes, yes thank you.” He bows at the president.

“I would've been able to discuss some things with you today, but I have to leave earlier today because of wor– home. I uh gotta go home. But I’ll see you soon Jongseong.”

Rock with You ♪

#— A band formed in a high school’s basement accidentally goes viral online. The band wants to start performing outside of their school’s auditorium but the problem is they need permission from the school, someone with connections outside of the school and maybe someone to co-manage all of the outside of school performances.

Who better to ask than the school’s council president Kim Y/n. Just one problem. They’re the band’s leader and lead guitarist two-year long crush.

previous | masterlist | next

A/n: ignore the times at the top. But I mean you came see how long it took me to write the written part lol.

🏷 @jjeongjjeongie @enhacolor @tinyyblue @mykalon @02zprotector @aria-grace-scott @p-rincess-minki @oneofigot7 @msxflower @hobistigma @fancyinil @liyaxoxooxozliya @sararhk @viscoolreal @chirokookie @rosie-is-everywhere @strwbrymlkes @c9tnoos @tomorrowbymoa-together @istoleyourcookies @sophiko22 @ikasaeki

[orinokomcgee]

If anyone was wondering, this random countdown (although not posted everyday) was for my Birthday which is today (10/10/23).

I am now a 29 year old and it feels odd.

I hope you've liked my Doctor Who countdown. There were some hit and misses along the way but I think this is going be my thing now. If I'm ever in need of a countdown I can use this, or just this every year to improve my skills.

I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that I still have a lot to learn when it comes to digital art and I really hope that at some point I can make something as impressive as the things you find on a professional looking DW poster or Big Finish story cover.

I find creating digital art like this relaxing as well as challenging. I have many ideas that just appear in my mind that I want to recreate and some of them are a doddle (mainly the happy accidents) some on the other hand are so fantastical that they're too complex to make. I get incredibly angry with myself when they don't end up how I wanted.

I shouldn't get angry, I'm still developing.

Anyhoo, that's the explanation.

I kind wish I started at 15 but I kept forgetting THAT AND I FORGOT JO MARTIN! (Screams in anguish).

Will probably update a bunch of these because I was either half asleep when I made them (having teenie weenie micro sleep moments as I was editing) or because I was only giving myself a couple of hours to come up with a plan, try and make something and then bung it onto the internet.

This is too long of an explanation isn't it?

Blame it on my "age".

Let me know what you think. (I love a comment or two).

I'm thinking of uploading a piece that I made that I thought was brilliant but...I need to finish it and not complain about how bad I think it is.

Right that's me off. I need a brew and maybe write some Doctor Who fanfiction because I keep putting it off.

Tattie bye!

Orinoko McGee ~ The newly appointed, 29 year old BERK!

This is a countdown.

The Countdown continues...but to what?

[antonballdeluxe]

My Woes on Carrd

It's not too rare for a piece of anything made for professional adults to consume is eaten up by a disproportionate percentage of fourteen year old girls.

But what if it was a website instead, made for businesses, and again, used mostly by the fourteen year old girls of the web? That's Carrd's reputation for you, other than as anyone's extended twitter about me page, a replacement for tumblr about autobiographies, it's the new and hip way to introduce yourself to the web.

Easy to use, drag and drop, place, write, style, done. That's your page! Kinda like a very easy version of Neocities. And again, this was made for...businesses. Professionals. People with things to do, products to sell. And then Twitter came along, realized that unlike their site, Carrd has no precious character limit to describe every bit of your personality and life and market yourself as a niche micro celebrity, and went at it. That's what Carrd is now, the about me's, the kinlists, the do not interact if pages.

It's basically a more lame, watered down, and sensitive as fuck Neocities.

So why does Carrd piss me off?

Well, it's mostly the ones who use it who piss me off, but there's so many things I could discuss involving the site itself. For one, there's a definite lack of freedom, as with all code-free drag n' drop editors of websites or games or whatnot. They're easy for normies to use, but at the cost of freedom. You have plenty at the disposal, sure, but the general layout and look of the site means that with what they give you, there's only a few designs that will look good, pleasing, or bring the eye towards the guy who made it. And you've probably seen them everywhere. Oh, look at it, it's just like a file viewer and a window, except pastel mint! And there's a Korean girl in the upper left corner! Sooooo pleasing, I guess. Oh, what about roman numerals instead of any descriptor to your pages? Now I'm sure to see what anime boy is literally you before finding if you want me to follow you or not. And don't get me started on the disaster known as scenecore or any -core for that matter. Webcore carrds are genuinely ironic.

But what if you want to do more than this? What if you...wanted a custom cursor? Or things falling in the background? Music on the page? More than 50 drag n' drops on your bio? Well, better coin up, sucker. Carrd Pro time. That's their subscription services that the cool and edgy kinnies use and share accounts with their friends and groomers to get all of that done, because simply embedding cool fancy code is paywalled. And having more than three sites. And not having a "Made with Carrd" thingadoo on the bottom of everything. And uploading content over 2MB or whatso. There's still a file size limit, even on the biggest tier. Fuck, even having a favicon is paylocked. And all of this comes for about twenty dollars a year, or if you want to get really fancy and go for an even bigger plan with bigger files and more sites and even more ways to build a website that you could learn from 2-4 hours on W3Schools, fifty a year. Some of this is useless knickknack for bragging rights, but some of it is literally just how websites should work. You can't download your Carrd without hucking up the fifty, by the way.

So basically, get limtied to a few styles because nothing else sucks, and pay 20 a year to have little sparkles when you click. What a wonderful way to make money.

Go back to why people who use it suck, Lobst.

So, about the people who use Carrd. The entire brain process of using Carrd to explain who you are has lead to an epidemic of forgetting your elementary-middle school internet safety lessons, and now, oversharing is the norm. I've seen people use NOT oversharing on your Carrd as a bullet point on a call out, mostly dealing with race, which is as expected knowing that I read Twitter callouts for fun. I've gathered a few examples here of the new norm of "who am I online?", where instead of introducing via talent and hobby, it's your identity points.

Notice how none of these really have a catch, a reason to be mutuals. Of course, they're on another page, but it still feels sad and silly that the first thing you see is enough information to doxx a few of these individuals. Did you know that you only need one's age, state, and first name to wittle down the results to around ten or so individuals. Swap around a few of those for other basic identifiers, you can still get a close view at a doxx. That's bad, to say the least.

Not to mention the sheer amount of non-identifying personal information in these bios. Using mental illness as a standpoint, a personality trait, a way to paint one in a romantic sadness, has become all too common. Hell, I did it a year ago, I'm still growing out of all of it, I'm anonymizing myself once more, disconnecting, and it's more than freeing.

But what if I still want to use Carrd?

Well, for one, share as little information as possible about yourself. Your basic information should only really be what you want to be called, and an age approximation. Do not make yourself vunerable to those who can take advantage of that. Fill it up with things you enjoy, so you can easily be found by others that share your hobbies or favorite bands. And for that matter, make sure your page is readable.

Peak example of what to not do with a carrd. Oversharing, nobody needs to know that you wrote that fanfic, because that's disgusting, what the hell do your homework. And about the layout, even taking these screenshots made me need to get an Advil. I'm serious. The background is flashing neons, everything is a gif, sparkles, it's so ugly. There's more to it, and for the faint of heart, here it is. It's become an inside joke within my group.

As a small wrap-up, Carrd isn't to blame as a platform for a lot of the glaring issues with it, well, except the pricing plans, because that's bullshit. Most of the problems with Carrd falls on the user, and if you can avoid those problems, feel free. Or just make a Neocities for that extra freedom, and for a lot of effort. Actually, no, just make a Neocities, gives you great bragging rights as well.

[the-fae-folk]

What is a Fairy?

I suppose they probably need some explanation, especially nowadays. Fairies (Faeries, Fay, Fey, Fae, or even Fair Folk) could be considered a type of mythical being. Some have described them as spirits, others as ghosts of the deceased, some deified ancestors, prehistoric precursors to humans, personifications of nature, pagan deities, or even angels and demons in the way of Christian traditions. Often they encompass a metaphysical aspect, being depicted as spirits or beings who transcend the physical universe and world that we know. Or given features of the Supernatural, such as magic or extrasensory perception, which allow them to violate or go beyond the laws of nature. Even sometimes Preternatural, which something abnormal or strange and explainable but still within the boundaries of the natural laws of the universe (for example I could say someone is a preternaturally good cellist, and mean that they are impossibly good beyond expectations or even belief, but I’m not saying that they are actually magical...just that their apparent abilities and how they gained them are unknown and very strange to me.) But what is a fairy? Well you already know what some of them look like. Many people might immediately picture Tinkerbell from the animated Disney feature film, or even from the original Peter Pan novel by J. M. Barrie. And they would be correct, in part. Tinkerbell is a depiction of a Pixie, a specific type of fairy. But there are lots of fairy types, I don’t actually think there’s a complete list. (I should probably try to make one at some point, but no promises.) During some points in history the label of fairy was used to mean magical beings who had a mostly human shape. Gnomes, leprechauns, goblins, pixies, dwarfs, elfs, etc etc etc. And at other points it also included non humanoid magical creatures such as Unicorns, Dragons, Kelpie, Basilisk, and more (Sometimes these were referred to as Fairy Creatures). So where did they come from? Well the funny thing is that Fairies don’t actually come from only one area or set of myths. They are a strange combination of the folklore from all over Europe (and possibly beyond) and include ideas and stories from Celtic, Scandinavian, Nordic, Germanic, French, and English Folklore and Mythology. As these stories were passed around and intermingled and changed they brought about the collective creatures we know today as the Fae or Fairies. The Renaissance, Romantic Era, Victorian Era, Edwardian Era, and even the Celtic Revival Movement of the 19th and 20th centuries all had their influences on the stories and ideas connected with the Fairy folk, some significantly less helpful than others. Even the Fantasy Literature Genre, with Tolkien at its forefront, has added and changed much about people’s view on these creatures. So lets talk about some basic things you’ll want to know when dealing with Fairies. The first thing you might want to remember is that many people view the Tuatha Dé Danann (Supernatural gods, goddesses, heroes, and kings of Irish Mythology) as being the source for Faeries, or at least one of the strongest influences. Celtic Folklore and culture is easily one of the most visible bits of Faerie lore that you can find these days, but there’s a lot more that starts showing up when you begin to dig. Another thing to note is that the Renaissance, Romantic Era, Victorian Era, Edwardian Era, and the Celtic Revival Movement had a massive influence on how people saw fairies. They would mix folklore from different areas of Europe, attempted to prove the existence of fairies through scientific means, created artistic depictions of fairies, and much more. Often they sanitized and shrunk the fairies until they were mostly harmless or relegated to the outskirts of human life as a curiosity. Which brings me to the next point. In a lot of older folklore, from all over Europe, fairy beings are often depicted as being incredibly dangerous. Kidnapping humans or human babies, causing crops to wither, water to dry up, food to rot. They could lure people in with magic into a fairy ring of mushrooms and make them dance forever or make them forget their life. Sometimes they even played with time itself. A person could dance with the fairies only to find that they’ve been gone a hundred years when they try to go home. And many beliefs have depictions of some kind of Otherworld, a world apart from our own, or layered over it like an extra dimension we are unable to perceive or directly interact with. Sometimes its a land of the dead or a hidden underground kingdom, other times is a strange and fantastical country with its own laws and ways of doing things. As these stories meshed together we got what is known as Fairyland. The land which the fairies dwell in. Though some believe they simply live on Earth, hidden in the wild, or among us. Some reoccurring ideas are often connected with fairies, though not all have stayed the same as the original lore they were born from. The idea that Faeries, for whatever reason, are unable to or will not lie. This is a very important idea because the Folk are also simultaneously depicted as deceptive. Like particularly vicious lawyers they will play with words, never quite lying, but purposefully leading you astray or tricking you into a bad deal. They will often obey an oath, promise, or deal exactly to the letter, but ignore the intent behind it in order to twist it to their own benefit or amusement. Whether or not fairies are immortal depends entirely on where you draw your folklore from. Sometimes they are immortal; deathless, not mortal. Unable to die in spite of starvation, terrible wounds, age, or anything else. They are bound to life for all time. But some stories depict the stranger Fae Folk as being Eternal. Beyond time, always having existed and always existing, sometimes cycling, sometimes directionless and boundless and everything. Some tough concepts to get your head around, but nobody really agrees which one fairies are. In some folklore they’re even depicted as mortal, same as you and I, but a lot longer lived and harder to kill. A reoccurring motif in older Folklore is the need of humans to try and ward off fairies with charms and totems. When they were not depicted as outright malicious and dangerous, sometimes being thought to cause illness and death or bring about disastrous misfortune or steal a person’s name and voice, fairies were still mischievous and valiantly unhelpful. So people had all kinds of lucky charms to protect from them: like four leaf clovers, various plants, or actions like wearing your clothes inside out to confuse them. Iron is said in many beliefs to burn them, and certain herbs they view as sacred and will refrain from touching the bearer. A few more things. Christianity plays an important part in this discussion, though many people don’t like that. In many places myths and legends were wiped out by Christianity, either intentionally or simply by the very fact that it was trying to convert people in Europe and old pagan beliefs were seen as nonsensical. But still stories persisted despite this. Many old Myths and Folkloric beliefs were recorded for posterity by Christians, and some stories were altered and we are unable to see exactly how much (Beowulf). A lot of fairy stories remained too, only Christianity painted them as fallen angels or even demons of a kind, who could be kept away from Holy Ground, or were forced to kidnap humans to pay a tithe to Hell (or be taken themselves if they couldn’t pay). So folk beliefs, though generally discouraged by the church as superstition, remained quite strong all over Europe for a very long time. The last three things you need to know. One, there are many people who still believe in Fairies, though their beliefs often vary, sometimes wildly. Witches who claim to work with them. People who believe in them through their religions (usually pagans and other non christian groups). People who claim to have encountered or been abducted by them. And many others. While I personally do not believe in Fairies (though I like to keep an open mind, just in case), I do believe that the beliefs, cultures, and and rights of these people ought to be respected. Which leads me to other mythical beings that are similar to Fairies but hail from cultures and peoples outside of Europe. It might be tempting to label some of the spirits from various Native North American Tribes or from Chinese Folklore (or many others) as fairies. Don’t do that. If Fairies are real, you have to consider that there might be other mythical beings who fall under different categories and groups. And even if they are not real, it is extremely disrespectful to the people of those cultures to take their stories, myths, beliefs, and folklore and try to mesh it in with European Folklore. (this is exactly what the Victorian and Edwardian Era were guilty of.) And finally... Some people might tell you that they know everything there is to know about Fairies. Don’t believe them. Even I, who have spent years and years studying European Faerie Folklore, find new things about them every day. I have sources I’ve found and haven’t yet had the time to look into, areas of study I’ve had to neglect. There is so much about Fairies to explore that it’s quite literally impossible for any one person to know all of it. Personally I’m doubtful that a single person can even know an eighth of it all, you can hardly imagine how much there is. And while there is a great deal of it buried on the internet, there is even more offline. Books which are out of print or have never had their contents uploaded, cultural stories passed down in various European groups which are saved from oblivion only by the oratory tradition, and the remains of all kinds of long dead or vastly changed civilizations who believed in the Fairies and tried to work with or avoid or appease them. All the misinformation and personal gnoses out there also make it a lot harder to find accurate information about traditional folklore. And that’s not even counting the multitude of inventions and ideas spawned by fictional literature surrounding fairies. There is simply too much. But of course... Since when has something being impossible ever stopped a human from trying anyway? If you’re still interested, then who am I to discourage you? Go, jump right in. There’s so much to learn about the Faerie Folk.