#and i feel great now
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it makes me so mad that people are actually right about physical exercise being good for the body and the mind. damn it
#i've been doing yoga again every day and i just tried a 45 minute ballet for beginner video... well it was very nice and i enjoyed it a lot#and i feel great now#whatever!!!!!!
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the only thing worse than writing really is not writing
#rose.txt#i went like 4 days without writing#and finally just wrote some more#and i feel great now#though tbh#it's probably not the writing#it's more the having free time to write#which i haven't these past few days#anyway free time is good for ur mental health who knew
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missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twst 5th anniversary#i'll stop for a while now i promise i just wanted to get this out#genuinely feels a bit weird to be 5 years in already huh!#that combined with having finally finished up episode 7...#oh no all the milestones hit at once help#hold on while i reminisce for a moment#because MAN i did not expect the anime disney boy game to become so special to me#(especially my little wet rat dragon and his family)#to be fair 2020 onward was uhhh let's say prime timing for a piece of silly and unapologetically indulgent media#(not to get too real here or anything but let's just say that. some of the stuff in 7 specifically did hit a bit harder than it should've.)#but also just. you know how it goes.#sometimes a thing doesn't so much speak to you as it reaches out and grabs you by the throat#with an intensity that shocks and bewilders no one more than you#and sure you can ignore it because having any emotions about media beyond faint scorn is of course the epitome of ~cringe~#but you could also just throw yourself wholeheartedly into it#and lemme tell you one of those options is a hell of a lot more fun#idk i'm just kinda rambling here#it's been a weird five years but i'm glad to have had these guys for it#and hey if nothing else it gave us meleanor#the inside of my brain at any given point is just the 'do it for her' meme covered in pictures of our late great dragon princess#i would not have it any other way
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“Normal” test results are not the relief people think they are. When you wake up in pain and continue to be in pain for hours every day and your tests come back normal you don’t stop being in pain.
#chronic pain#I guess#cripplepunk#crip punk#<— correct me if that’s overstepping#what do I tag this with#I obviously didn’t get a diagnosis#personal but I’m also really scared of needles#and having to go through the fear and pain and crying and screaming#for nothing#doesn’t feel good#people tell me it’s not “nothing#but I know exactly what I did before the tests#which is nothing!!#and I didn’t have to go through that pain for that!!!#also å few months ago I genuinely thought it was completely normal#later I realised that spending hours each morning warming up my hands to feel usable might be more pain and stiffness than other people#experienced#I genuinely didn’t expect all of my friends to say they didn’t feel ANY pain at all#and now I’m just hyper aware of how not normal this is#and I’m still in pain#and now I’m not gonna get any help other than a “try heat therapy from the doctor#which is what I was already doing#like no im not crying cause I’m not sick#it would be great if I wasn’t sick#but clearly something’s wrong
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more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf nevermind all that#is this really for that? no but if its post canon bill on earth then it may as well be. makes it nice and easy to find later too#reread tbob because we just got our own (nicely water damaged) copy and i was like. i dont draw him cute enough#i will continue trying to do better#anyways stanley you are a butch woman. stanley transition now you dont even have to do anything youre already perfect#its just about the intent#every time i drew him for the last one all i could think was oohhhhhh my god you are a dyke. to me. please#in other news are there any burned out pushing-30s out there who havent drawn in years? i gotta say. i really gotta say.#get mentally ill about something its great. preferably alongside a few other people that you can use to create a perpetual cycle of insanit#gets you drawing again in no time and it feels great
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What kind of fucking cocaine do they put on Rose Tyler that if you watched seasons 1 and 2 of New Who you literally never get over her, ever? Billions of seasons upon years down the line, we'll be at Doctor 23 and I'll be 56 years old sitting in my couch going "I wish they'd bring back Rose Tyler, the Doctor deserves some more time with Rose Tyler".
#I thought I was being obnoxious for this#but all my friends and a great majority of the fans feel that way too#then again the doctor has never gotten over anything in their life so why should me watching the series do that#and it's not like the show itself lets you get over her#years down the line they still play her theme. show her missing poster. holograms of her. aliens take her shape.#my posts#doctor who#rose tyler#EDIT: check my reblogs. I regret this post now
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some scrimbles for @bowelfly as part of a trade <:^) the wickedly talented brother gregor and trungo
#my art#gharial#illustration#furry#anthro#brother gregor counts. so does trungo idc#loved drawing these guys loved lining them. textrures.....and lines. the things i love in life#and also orange. though this shade of orange looks and feels green to me#ummmm saw cage the elephant yesterday and they were GREAT as usual i can't believe it's been like 6 years since i saw them last.......crazy#matt's stage presence is still insane he's shmooving more than i ever could and he must be like 40 now. no stage diving anymore tho#to be expected maybe. new music was fun to hear live also#anyway all this was predicted i knew they'd be great what i did NOT expect were two amazing supports!!!!!!!!#sunflower beam and girl tones it would've been worth it just to see them they KILLED IT!!!!!!!#girl tones especially i was soooo in love with them....little riot girl sort of thing....two sisters....check em out........live especially#anyway peace and love on planet earth i love live music i looove bands i love you world
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I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.
#animation#animated film#animated movies#across the spiderverse#across the spider-verse#spiderverse#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots 2#nimona#nimona film#yes i'm posting this specifically because i just watched nimona and am feeling all kinds of things but really these are all PEAK TIER#the fact they have ALL been released within 7 months of each other...like...woah we are thriving right now#stylised animation with its own unique style reflecting the movie i love you forever kissing you on the mouth#films that make me ferally rip up any and all art blocks to shreds#and that's just the animation side of things#i won't get started on the plots. they also make me want to bounce off of walls#hugging all these close to my chest#as well as all the other great animated movies that exist because animation wins all catergories for me always#(let's not forget anime movies either; y'all are beautiful too! keeping 2d animation alive and i'm so here for it)
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“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”
— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)
#dog books#this chapter was very sad reading#when you become aware of punishment#and its use and its prevalence#it's hard not to despair#again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution#maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did#what I did because it's what everyone does#because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else#I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice#this book was very validating#another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts#was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice#with Amanda Knox#it helped to ease the despair a little
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The tac net crash chapter is one of my favorites so far~
Ah and. Guess what. I just discovered that including this post, I made 50 pieces of fanart for Mistakes on mistakes until.. I’m so sane and normal about this story can you tell👍

#maccadam#transformers#fic fanart#momu fanart#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#considering the speed and the amount of fanart#….yeah I can see why tumblr thought I was a bot lmao#also#I mostly read during night and then drawing from memory during day so uhhhhh the accuracy is questionable haha#mainly I feel like half of the time I don’t know how tf Jazz looks. The guy switching between his looks so often jdjfjfj#IM. SO GLAD THEY RESOLVED THEIR DRAMA EHEHBJGJ#The scene in medbay was so damn cute#oh my goddddd#the scene of the tac net crash#muah#loved it~#you know the thing is - I'm a biiiig fan of mutual feelings and actions#the scene of the kiss was absolutely great but it was a bit one sided#Jazz cared about Prowl but Prowl was far more concerned about information safety and strategy and stuff#but this?? mmmm~ Them caring for each other#Prowl using his last moments of consciousness to ask Jazz if he is mad at him#Prowl actually deeply caring of what Jazz thinks about him now when he knows Prowl killed his friends#i don't know how to explain#kisses are great but this (points) this is my favorite five star meal right here#also there is something so funny about Prowl slowly discovering fow fucked up Jazz is and just accepting it#but being so scared when Jazz discover how fucked up he is. Only for Jazz to be like “boo I knew about your fuckedupness from the start”
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#feralnette au#my art#birds of a feather#eheheheoeooehooohoehehahahaa#ok ok i feel i should add. editing in some tags here#in fairness marinette doesnt 100% believe her nemesis' of COURSE#but when the situation is bad and the intrusive thoughts are bad. of course you think They Must've Been Right#so when she's under these situations of high stress and peril her brain automatically jumps to the worst conclusion:#which is of course. that the people who are her current greatest threats were right all along#and right now marinette is in great peril
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I am not saying here's a link to a free online version of the 1984 graphic novel but if it was there you should probably go read it.
#i just finished it and i want a physical copy now it was so good#i remember i had struggled a bit with the original novel because it felt a bit slow and i think my translation wasn't the best#but this version is super powerful thanks to the illustrations#and since there's the visual support i feel like all the writing is even more punchy because it's really concentrated#so every page is a punch in the guts#if you loved the novel you should read this version and if you didn't like the novel you should read this version even more#great way to make a potentially scary classic more approachable#go read it#book#books#bookblr#booklr#1984#george orwell#distopia#classics#politics#free books
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can't believe that skeleman has turned on us, and Halloween Prom is tomorrow.
(what a top-tier UM...we are about to be just totally obliterated in the absolute silliest way. what possible use could this power have outside of bringing us to the brink of utter holiday disaster.)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#unique magic posters#this was so unforseeable!#i hope malleus gets pumpkinified immediately and sebek has to carry him around on a little velvet cushion#i hope jade puts his plant knowledge to good use by being extremely judgy about the firmness of everyone's rind#i hope that everyone is still wearing their silly little hats as pumpkins#(i know they won't. but if we don't have hope we have nothing.)#and i'm still feeling like oogie's gotta show up later and menace jamil just by existing#perhaps we'll have to team up against him with the scullsman or something 👀#also just to get it out before being proven entirely wrong#my theory is still that he's from the past and we gotta teach him about the True Meaning of Halloween (aka candy and funtimes)#so he can go back to his own time and become the founder of modern-day candy and funtimes halloween or something#bootstrap paradox be damned#i could be entirely off-base but that's what i'm thinking right now#idk he just has the vibe of an old-timey boy to me#he's had the great misfortune of being born before there were hot topics where he could meet other jack skellington fanatics#too late for the black plague too early for the black parade 😔
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[ * WHERE MY FEMTANYL ENJOYERS AT !!!!!!!!!! ]
[ * don't worry guys they're fine it's all just practical effects . the glass pieces are plastic and they got glued on ]
#cw blood#tw blood#tw glass injury#cw glass injury#corv draws#ink sans#ink!sans#inksans#inktale sans#inktale#ink!tale#inktale!sans#ink!sans fanart#ink sans fanart#inksans fanart#inktale fanart#inktale sans fanart#utmv#undertale au#utmv ink#ink utmv#undertale au fanart#utmv fanart#ink utmv fanart#utmv ink fanart#[ * I am feeling GREAT. i might be cooking art more often now ]
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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"You stay out of this, Glinda!"
#wicked#gelphie#glinda upland#elphaba thropp#the wizard of oz#being like??? when im done with a piece isn't a great feeling but I gotta keep making art now don't I
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