#and i dont know how to describe it more in any way that doesnt sound more whacked out than it already does lol

[toytulini]

thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.

[kitwilsonsass]

thinking about br@y, or rather the fact that i just kind of.... don't/can't think about br@y. it's just a weird feeling that i hope eventually fucks off.

[chronicler-of-narrative]

So, On-Lyne, huh?

Let's be honest here, they're actually an incredibly cool system. If there's one thing I like about DE is how they spice up stale systems. Like how Poe and Fortuna paved the way for Deimos and Duviri, the technocyte Coda seem to be doing the same for the lich system (especially considering how they dont seem to have any weapons).

While lightly disappointing because they have set identities unlike the very oc-friendly randomness of liches and sisters, its still basically the most hype part of the 1999 update for me.

However, praise aside, I also wanted to do some light speculatuon on their story and personalities, and specifically, why I think they weren't always infested.

Now, look, ik they look weird conceptually, being likened to fortnite skins by some, but I think that is mostly just foreshadowing. To me, they look like digital avatars, which considering their name is quite literally On-Lyne and all of the internet imagery in the 1999 promotional videos and ads seems to support this. Now, this is actually really important because if they are digital avatars of real people (as I suspect), then that sets up the main theme of their story: Appearances.

This is why I think they're not some infested psyop but rather started out normally, before being overtaken. Because at the end of the day, Warframe's stories are deep in the most batshit way possible. DE aren't afraid to use the mighty Allegory for their stories, and I think this is what they're doing here. The infestation is On-Lyne's Monkey Paw, being either a wish-come-true or a punishment, or both.

This, imo, is most evident with Zeke. After all, we literally hear him talking about how "if management gives him one more passive aggressive comment, he's gonna snap", which to me tells me that Zeke probably isn't able to endure the price of being famous. This, combined with a transcription of the infested writing on their fanpage I received from a friend, tells us what the Infestation has done for Zeke. "Zeke hungers to unmake himself" and calling him "Fleshskin" to me sound like Zeke seeking to become acceptable to the band at the cost of himself. As in, to literally martyr himself, to become the band's skin and remove the part of himseld that can't stand the pressure, becoming in the proccess an empty shell, a skin-suit, if you will.

For the others, we know a little less, so imma just summarize my theories on them :

-Hardrive's the one who spreads the infestation, the infection mechanism. But by the...unflattering language the hivemind uses to describe him unlike the others, what i get is hes trying to escape the infestation, escape the life of fame, but in doing so is only falling deeper into the very thing he's trying to get away from.

-Packet's the tactician of the group. Different from Drillbit in the fact that hes directly responsible for unity within the group. I mean, "Soothes the dissident voices" doesnt get more explicit than that. Its weird how hes the most "fresh". To me it sounds like he may have had a hand in unleashing the infestation on the group in some attempt to keep them from having a falling out, and is now in charge of keeping the whole hivemind together after being the last one to be consumed.

-Drillbit is the guide of the group. Especially with the brain and larynx lines, sounds to me like he was the second-in-command to Zeke who always wanted to be the face of the band but couldn't with Zeke in the way.

-Dj RoM is a little hard to figure out, but to me he sounds like the group hedonist. He doesn't question whats going on, hes just there to have a good time and might even be the most accepting of the infestation. Especially considering how it directly mentions how his 'palpatations reverberate' while the band is 'digesting' which may imply hes actually enjoying it.

So yea, these basically it. If im wrong, feel more than free to share your ideas. After all, this is just speculation, but to me it seems very fitting from a narrative perspective.

[cogmented]

how do you come up with your designs for mcyt’s? theyre so creative and cool so i thought id ask

THANK YOU AND THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION

now entering yap city tihs will be a long post

my steps are basically

voice

personality

og look of minecraft skin/branding

player movement

other ppls fanart (if any)

things that happened/cultural associations

i start with a bunch of random sketches to get the feel of the person.. that's why so many of my early posts were doodle pages. to me, character design is more based on what the person is like rather than what they look like. i think a lot of people do that

I do this with all of the above and shape language, but in bigger art pieces outside of lineups i also use color and perspective (as in youll see more of someone like spepticle in large, sweeping scenes while someone like zam in closed, heavily perspective-based ones) to indicate personality. ill change designs when suited for this too (spoke with or without a gas mask, vi with or without a mouth, etc etc)

my first iteration of lifesteal designs heavily relied on the look of the skins and were gradually tweaked over time. my most prominent example of this is my spoke design, so i'll use him at least once in the examples for continuous comparison.

i watch a couple of each person's videos first, understand their voice, personality, and what they do, then focus on them in other people's videos too to get a full story, their movement, and what others think of them (helps with personality and things we might not see). streams are the most helpful because they're less biased and you see so much more of their antics. huge stream fan.

i get into the how after this

this process doesnt go in order for some designs and others have a more prominent focus on particular parts of the process that override or effect other parts

Voice

starting off with not spoke here's a problem i encountered when designing wemmbu

I based him a lot off of spoke and ashswag due to not knowing much about him besides the fact that he schemes (spoke&ash-esque) and he doesn't move his character around too much when talking (ash behavior). he didn't match the left one because his voice doesn't have the dramatic, flamboyant fratboy flair that spoke has, so I shifted it to be more friendly yet still dangerous with curved square shapes rather than triangles. i made his scheming, diabolical nature more evident through his clothing that's pretty jester-like and sharp, but with a smoother middle that spoke doesn't have (and to match his eyes).

voice also impacts character height. i dont know how to describe this. mapicc and zam are similar heights because their voices are similar, same goes for parrot and vortex, but leo and vitalasy are close to the same height (due to vitalasy's huge fuckass ears) despite having wildly different voices, with leo's bold text voice and vitalasy's higher-pitched jumbled kinda speech they still take up the same "amount of space" in conversation. they stand out. and even though spoke's voice also stands out an incredible amount he is still only slightly taller than average. this is where personality overrides voice in my designs.

Personality

spoke is sharp in every sense of the word, but is also able to mold himself around to get what he needs.

my first attempt at him was pretty lackluster. i didn't know much of him at the time, only his wither video, and thus understood him mainly through his association with parrot. he seemed a lot more evil and more serious at first glance. like woah! fully fledged mouth and nose?! not anymore.

i cover certain expressive parts to also depict more of their personality in some abstract, holistic way. after watching streams and whatnot, spoke doesnt actually speak (excluding his random sounds and yips or whatever he does) too terribly much, except when the spotlight is on him or he's trying to get something. so, i tweaked his design to encompass that when i understood him better.

i take away his arms to allow his hands to stand out more (character movement thing, he moves around a lot when no one is paying attention to him, punches the air when ..not talking but making a point ig. he's a big fan of hovering menacingly), i give him a slinky-like outside skeletal structure to both capture his affinity for withers (i made him a wither thing because of the wither sounds in his video.. and the withers in general) and to give him the feeling of more freedom with his movement.

i also just really like gas masks so. basically, spoke is someone that hides away until he chooses to stand out. thank lord heaven he looks like some shadow creature.

later on i gave him more magenta highlights, especially in the wormhole era because 1. magenta wasnt heavily included in his rainbow look, making it stand out on his whole being, and 2. because magenta is really really cool and people should use it more.

og minecraft skin/branding

hi spokeis here. this will be quick because his branding is so heavy. lightning, rainbow, black. boom. character. withers and white eyes? easy. causes a lot of anarchy? again, lightning and withers.

planetlord on the other hand is someone i greatly differed from the og skin and branding. i saw the design in a vision idk. i shift his colors all the time in different pieces but i use more of his pfp colors now because there's too many purples in this world. his branding, personality, and voice all connect very well. a bit misleading, he's a bit of a weasel.

Movement

i never used to look into movement, but pvp styles and conversational movement of lifesteal is intriguing. unfortunately it was only something i started paying attention to during the end of s4 because vitalasy's movement was so interesting. he's a big fan of getting in people's faces.

ill be real, i didn't really notice spoke a lot during things because he was almost always never alone, and when he was it is always at a distance or you knew he had people to back him up.

spoke's movement isn't actually too abnormal. he's goal oriented and tends to always be doing something, and when he does he finds the most efficient way possible. pretty basic. his design choices are based mainly on voice and personality.

someone like mapicc on the other hand has very particular movement. he spins around people when fighting and gets right up in their face (in nethpot pvp mostly), so i made his clothing tighter to the skin with looser parts to accentuate that movement: practical clothing for close combat battles. it was also noticed (by the lord) that he tends to look straight forward instead of the slightly down that most players do.

zam fights differently, but i made him with the og branding (he's princezam) and what he does in mind. his body language in my art is more indicative of his personality.

Other people's fanart

shoutout the community, a notable amount of ideas were from the mid-late 2022 lifesteal community.

dog leowook and leather jacket mapicc were from gen, jackalope rek from aoi i think, "croptop" jacket spoke from saints-blade, snail terrain from navy-leader, tv ashswag from kish, sock puppet red definitely from someone i dont remember, 4 armed squiddo from seri, and old cartoon jaron was from bucket

Things that happened/istarted talking about cultural inspirations

spoke and his connection to godhood influenced his redesign greatly. this section affects what the character wears most of the time.

i give both spoke and vitalasy painted palms (alta) due to their connection with godhood and destruction, with spoke in particular reminding me a lot of Kali Ma, thus i gave him a skirt (due to nppp too). vitalasy's clothing is based on Indonesian cultural clothing. wemmbu's also takes inspiration from Indonesian and Bhutan cultural clothing.

indigenous cultures inspired some designs too (i do a lot of ethnographic anthropology work with some of the tribes i base the clothing off of), with woogie having Yupik and Inuit inspiration. polar bear = cold climate in my head. and leo has Haida and Yunnan (minority Chinese providence, not a tribe) inspiration.

bacon's... not bacon strip design's clothing was based on Bangladeshi clothing (im Bangladeshi, i also added alpona patterns to ash's design), nomadic cultures, and some german pilgrim thing?? idk not my best design. i specifically looked for nomadic inspiration because of his willingness to flee at any moment lol. i didnt do this for rek despite his fleeing reputation because i dont watch rek content too much and he already had hybrid traits that took care of that presentation.

poafa's design is a goat because of the medusa trials where he was used as a scapegoat. makes sense i think. his horns are from past associations with jepex that infected mapicc as well (devil trio s1). zam's design is very much from s3 empire and s4 castle.

planet's design changed slightly, mostly rounder shapes, but also the number of "spikes" on his scarf, now stuck at three because of 3ht.. and easier to draw than five. minutetech has a bow instead of a bowtie from jumper due to s5 happenings. the gem on his crown has wemmbu's highlights from his gem's main color.

roshambo's design was also heavily influenced by medusa where i gave him a snake body. in my art that depicts before medusa events he doesn't have the snake body, and same goes with before s4 spoke where i draw him with full pants. in some sketches ive depicted mapicc with a muzzle only after the destruction of s4 spawn due to quix's mapicc dog influence shoutout.

mapicc and ro have matching things that persist seasons (mapicc periwinkle collar, ro red painted ring finger... head finger?), as did subz and vitalasy with matching shoulder pads (beginning of s4 subz had a bandana and vitalasy had a bell that traded between them through artworks of mine) Vitalasy also gained sun and moon earrings. mid and 4c have matching hoods/cloaks ^_^ marriage or something.

hope this made sense and covered everything you could have ever wanted forever... feel free to ask me questions i love explaining processes

[bibibi-tchx]

Does lil man ever have moments where he just needs to be with both mami and papi at all times? I can see lil man just waking up extra clingy needing to have both of them in his eye sight at all times just wanting their comfort :(

oh anon of course he does

especially when hes teeny tiny- being that small, where hes smaller than about 1yrs old, everything seems that weirder. like, the world feels as though its going to swallow him whole, and he can’t even think of any way to describe it- all he knows is that he wants his papi and his mami right there right now.

which cues him waking up in his normal adult bed, and feeling as though everything is out of place, and hes much too small to be in his big boy bed- tears ensue, and he is sobbing

hes too small to even communicate whats wrong, so he just continues to cry, trying his best to call out for both of his caregivers but because hes way way too small, all he can do is repeat “ma” over and over again. even a full “mami” or “papi” feels too out of reach for his tongue, so hes just babbling a very wet, a very sad sounding “ma” the best he can in between all of the hiccups

of course it doesnt take long for both of his mami and papi to be in his room, picking him up and consoling him, rhea rocking him gently from side to side whilst damians right next to her, singing his usual lullabies to try and soothe dominik

sobby lil babie immediately shuts up, to the point where rhea and damian then proceed to turn to each other and make small quizzical faces- like, it was so swift for him to stop crying, and hiccuping not long after, that they are puzzled; they make the look.

theres a look that all caregivers have when their baby does something that is baffling, but they are still amused by it. trust me here. cgs yall know the look im on about. <3

“im going to run downstairs to grab him a smoothie or something for him to drink, solid foods might be a bit too overwhelming for him at the moment.” comes out from damian after a few minutes of them playing with the very teeny baby, with damian and rhea making different faces and such and watching how hes reacting to try and gage exactly how small dominik has woken up that morning

rhea’s nodding, because thats a fair idea, and its also a way for damian to have another means of hiding veggies in dominik’s diet and she can’t oppose that really

but the moment is out of dominik’s sight from where him and rhea are cuddling on the bed, with rhea holding up his lamb to his face to try and distract their iddy biddy boy, even though it hasnt worked the moment damian turns his back from their cuddle on the bed, and dominik’s wails ensue once more, probably even louder than before

he deffo tries to clumsily reach out and grab at his papi too, needing to have him nearby at all times or else all hell is gonna break loose

damian aint all that impressed either, feeling absolutely horrible that he has to leave, “oh niñito, papi’s got to go make you some breakfast. dont you wanna eat?”

surprise surprise, dominik shakes his head, “nuhuh- pa!” looking so forlorn, purely upset

rhea looks upset too- she doesn’t really know what to do, but she knows that if damian leaves, shes gonna need to follow him with dominik in her arms, “dont you want to have a cuggle, baby blueberry? arent you comfy, hm?” because she knows that dominik dont do well when changing locations when hes that small

dominik nods, bcus yuh duh of course hes comfy!! he has his mami, and he has his papi. its a no brainer, however he cant even think to deal with not having both of them nearby, so he starts to tear up a little bit at the thought, but hes still so so comfy, which means that hes nodding, but hes still crying

caregivers confusion to the max

“are you comfy, little one?” in the most soothing whisper that rheas voice has ever gone, the pads of her thumbs gentily wiping away at dominiks tears

“mhm.” with a little hiccup, big brown eyes staring up at damian, bcus nuhuh papi cannot go

it definitely is a whole back and forth, until, eventually, rhea has to bring the babie around with her everywhere

thank u anon !! <3

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week

Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it

Chapter 44

Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time

Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this

I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too

yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??

and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out

Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years

Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much

I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women

Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything

god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other

Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)

So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess

Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals

Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court

So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me

Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra

Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh

Chapter 45:

Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet

Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter

"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"

Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged

Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children

God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever

I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole

Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better

Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers

Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"

"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting

Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make

Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does

Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough

Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss

I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date

[notjennyfromtheblocked]

Im deliberately sending this off anon so you can see that you arent being 'attacked' by 'Anne', and the fact youre even discussing it that way is ableist as fuck. Im going to start this by making it clear, I have BPD, Im also trans and you will not be knowing my AGAB. You are the asshole in this situation.

We're going to start off simple, you are not an expert on BPD, google and tiktok is full of misinformation and harmful stereotypes about Borderline pplo. BPD is not an 'abusive person' disorder, there is no such thing as a condition that makes you an abusive person. BPD does cause intense, deep emotions that can shift quickly and be hard to control; often this includes having intense feelings for people around them and being scared of losing them/them not being who you thought they were. Because this condition comes from trauma (usually from family/relationships) there are often amplified feelings around abanonment and betrayals of trust especially from ppl you thought were your friends. It is in fact common for some of our nost intense lifelong interests start bc of stupid reasons, but starting bc of a stupid reason doesnt mean the interest isn't genuine. Have you never done something bc your friend wanted you too and you ended it up loving it? Why is it any different bc it was a crush not a friend? BPD doesnt make you a manipulative person, nor does it make you gaslight ppl and seeing as 'anne' has a psychiatric degree Im sure he understands his condition better than you do.

Secondly, 'Anne' is allowed to be trans in whatever way he wants too, she doesnt have to bind, or pack, or change his appearance for anyone. I have a beard, long hair, wear any kind of clothes I want, have tits, have bulge, am hairy and wear a full face of makeup. Some of those things are part of my agab, some of them a part of my transition. And its not a single iota of your goddamn business whether youre friends or not. Gender is a performance and you get to choose the outfit and 'Anne' is deciding what she want his to look like.

Thirdly, you do not seem to understand that part of the reason you very clearly show yourself to be the asshole is the way you speak about others. Describing being an introvert as being more sophisticated or above extroverts is just ridiculous, you are not superior bc you dont go out to parties. I don't either, I find them uncomfortable and loud, but that doesnt make me sophisticated. You talk about 'Mike' as if he cannot be the arbiter of his own interests or relationship, that hes just stupid and couldnt piece it together if 'Anne' was 'faking'. You talk about 'Anne' like she's some master manipulator but you did everything that happened to yourself, you went to the GC and convinced them that something was wrong, you took a group of ppl who didnt know 'Mike' to 'Anne's' house to confront him, you made a callout post about 'Anne' on facebook, you tried to immediately go running to 'Mike' for damage control when your 'intervention' didnt work and you are the person that blasted it all over facebook and now tumblr. And now you are the one losing friends and family, and you deserve it, because the ppl you convinced to attack 'Anne' realised wtf they'd just done and how fucking horrendous that is. You have no evidence of any manipulation, or that 'Anne' is faking, or that 'Mike' isnt happy, you just presented your prejudice. 'Mike' and 'Anne' realise what youve done and they have enough proof to convince a judge or they wouldnt have gotten that restraining order. You are the person behaving manipulative here and everyone can see it except you.

I've tried writing a response to this so many times but I end up deleting it because when I try to explain myself it just sounds like I'm going in circles. There are tons of other asks I've tried answering and rewritten like seven times each before giving up. I've been writing over and over trying to explain like how while yeah technically Mike never told me word for word that he was T4T, when he told me I wasn't his type and then like two days later came out as trans it felt very, very much like he was coming out specifically to let me know that's why I wasn't his type. Or how I was trying to explain how look I know it might be controversial but the constant "main character syndrome" of extroverts just gets on my nerves and is supremely selfish in general and also the truth is you're just GOING to be more intellectual if you spend your free time actually expanding your mind instead of smoking pot and grinding against strangers and how someone like Mike who prefers the same free time activities as I do is just not going to work with someone who would rather party and get wasted than pick up a book, or how Anne is pretending to be trans and I know this because she isn't changing ANYTHING, and I was going to explain that the group chat was full of people she didn't know because it initially was a fandom ship discord from a show she doesn't watch but eventually when I started getting concerned yes it kinda became my "complain about Anne" vent place because nobody there really knew her well enough to go tell her what I was saying and it was a safe place for me to vent and explain why I thought she was abusive and cheating and they would actually listen instead of tell me to knock it off like others, and obviously OBVIOUSLY I thought her and I were close enough as friends she wouldn't mind me using her spare key which she kept under the doormat so it's not like I searched hard. I've written all of that so many times to so many different asks I can't even count and then i just end up deleting it because it feels pointless to even try because I know people will just keep sending asks so why bother so I never wrote it til just now unless I deleted it.

Im gonna be totally fully honest here I woke up and I saw the 99+ notifications in my inbox and I haven't been able to stop shaking because I'm so fucking angry because nobody is on my side, I literally scrolled hoping to find at least one person who was agreeing with me and nobody was and honestly I was so mad I couldn't even see and then I finally found a couple of nice asks and they were signed and I was so excited someone finally agreed with me and when I checked on their blogs they were all fucking terfs. All of the people who were taking my side were fucking terfs. And like I'll be honest with you I have two very close family members who are trans and honestly they've both blocked me recently and even though I tried to contact them they didn't respond and I seriously hate hate HATE terfs because they've been so cruel to my two family members. And I'm so angry. But then I found your ask and at first I was so angry and I tried to reply but I just deleted it because I was getting angry. But then I found more terfs in my ask and then even more hateful anons from non terfs.

But then I kept thinking about how conservatives will literally LITERALLY have Nazis agreeing with them and dig their hills in and in like wtaf how are you not seeing that NAZIS are agreeing with you? But literally the only people agreeing with me are terfs. And honestly that's the last shit I want, I luterally hate terfs. I'm not even exaggerating when I say this is the nicest ask that WASN'T from a terf so I've just. I dunno. I am freaking out because this did not go the way I planned. I knew some people wouldn't agree with me but I thought it would be more split, like some YTA but mostly JAH and NTA. And then when I saw the poll for a hot minute I thought maybe it might veer ESH but obviously that isn't the case. It's just like have you ever really cares about someone, really really cared about someone, and he says oh please don't hug me and pulls away, and then other people hug him so you think I better tell these other people "don't hug him, he doesn't like hugs" and then he says its fine and then starts hugging other people but not you? And you realize at no point did he ever say he didn't like hugging, he just asked you, specifically you, not to hug him? Well imagine that but with Mike, and he stopped wanting to hang out with me and told me not to touch him but whenever I'd remind Anne not to touch him he'd say it was fine and I guess when he came out as trans it was just easier to believe he didn't date cis people than he didn't want to date me. And there were times I thought man I wish I were a trans person so Mike would notice me, and then it seemed like Anne was doing just that because of COURSE it crossed my mind to pretend just for a little while, because if he just gave me a chance he'd realize that we are compatible. Honestly I'm just freaking out because I made this blog a month ago after sent the ask to the aita blog but then it didn't get answered so I started the blog to get all this off my chest. And bam suddenly I was bombarded a month later and it took me a minute to realize the aita hadn't deleted it. Honestly none of this went according to plan and nobody except people I fucking hate want to hear my side. And I dunno. I just don't know. Bur if the only people agreeing me with me all day are terfs then obviously I need to think things through.

[shit-talk-turner]

Prev. message board anon here. Managed to dig out some old screenshots. I've copied and pasted them here as don't want to come off anon. These are mainly related to Alex and were posted by the sound engineer (I think). They're just random messages, not in any sort of order. Enjoy!

matt kinda says hi (he's half asleep, poor guy) ive managed to survive another night with the guys, and sucessfully cooked dinner. as a reward they took me to the pub...nice one

theyre more like extended family. (al's gone home, jammie's still on't playstation with my bro and matts curled up asleep in my room, he looks like a cat) FINALLY I HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET!!!!!!!! yay!!! *me doing a little dance in joy*

if that happened, hed prolly try n find you a chair (he's kind like that) and then hed stand there and panic about what to do.

yeah. it was bad wasnt it. got to the stage where we were all making fun, leaving little post-its with "get a haircut" written on, and generally begging him to get a haircut. he did it eventually, and now he looks hot again and less like a scarecrow. thank god!

alex update: he is wondering what to have for lunch.

no. not yet. hes having a gingerbreadman while he thinks about it.

hes gone off to find timm to find out what time were having dinner (because our schedule for the days changed). he said if he knows when dinner is, then he can make a proper decision on lunch - whether he wants a snack or a whole meal......

alex update: him n jammie are sat on the edge of the stage looking at the choice of songs theyve been given for their performance on Radio 1's Live Lounge on monday. theyre gonna do brianstorm, and they have to pick one of the four songs theyve been given to cover. theyre choosing now...

alex update: he's scurrying about looking for a cd he lost. to be honest it could be anywhere. its not very tidy at the moment.... and i think someone mentioned watching anchorman later.....

alex update: reading a book (well hes trying to, but matt keeps distracting him....) and hes trying to think what the best sandwich in teh world is (thats matts question of the day)

alex update: he's sat in't corner writing summat and on the phone. im always curious when i see him writing, cuz i automatically assume that hes writing lyrics - and then i start thinking about what he's done today to think what the song might be about and then i really, really, really want to hear how it would go......all this, and then i ask him what he's writing and he shows me that he's either doing a crossword, or writing a cd shopping list, or summat dissapointing....

alex update: seemed quite happy when we last saw him. think he's gone to change. and i think he's coming out later. not sure if he'll be out with us though. he doesnt really know mal and cookies mates. they were in the year above us at school...

alex update: he's all packed and sat on the sofa reading the article about AM in this weeks NME. by his facial expressions, i can't work out what he thinks about it..... :S

alex update: ............ there are no words to describe him today.

he's sat out in the sun with everyone, and he's the most relaxed and normal that i've seen him in soooo very long i think he's so relieved that the album did well and people like it. he just looks relaxed and, dare i say it............. HAPPY. :) he deserves it.

alex update: he's most defniatly asleep. he had a busy night last night, and last time i saw him the poor thing was asleep on his feet...

alex update - the only one of the fab four that i can see at the mo. i asked him what he's doing so i could report on it, and he said "dont just say im lying on the floor waiting for the microwave. that sounds reet boring. say 'im reclining on the carpet in a relaxed fashion, clasping a piece of toast waiting for my beans to be done , and im donning my shades in a classy way' ....yeah, that makes it sound a bit better. or do i just sound like a knobhead? okay, cut that bit out. just say....just say im eating. again. im always eating when youre typing......hmmm"

and that was all i could get from the fascinating Mr Turner, before the microwave "pinged"....

alex update: he's chilling with miles and some friends, havign a drink and watching some bands.

after the set, we all got a little bi too drunk, met up with James Ford (producer, and from simian mobile disco), james + simon (klaxons), lily allen, lovefoxx, a kook and some others (there was about 20 of us) and we wanted to go out at night to Lost Vague-ness (the most random field at glastonbury) but they didnt want to be noticed and harrassed, so we hired these random costumes. alex was a dinosaur, james was a swan, there was a chicken, a moose, me and lily were mushrooms...... was truley hilarious.

[its not really "news" but we just had a fight. a proper standing in the rain, shouting ourselves hoarse, having to be separated argument. thats the only problem with me and al, were too similar. SO stubborn, and a tendency to take things too personally and get a bit irrational. the basics, i was trying to be a good friend and tell him summat, he wasnt listening, we both said things we prolly shouldn't have, and then were taken away to calm down. it'll all be fine by the morning, thats just how we roll. but for tonight, im not gonna pretend were okay.]

the internet was once such a wild and lawless place

[anzynai]

Oh my gosh im so excited to see a twst writer in the community!! Can u please share some heartslabyul headcanons (no pressure if u dont want to) i just love them so much thank you!

Heartslabyul Hcs

HELLOOO this has been sitting in my ask box for ages and i am so sorry for dying and not posting for a whole month.. erm. anyway, headcanons. unfortunately no new fic im sorry but uh soon!!! its heartslabyul tho soo enjoy!!

——

since riddle was never exposed to tickling when he was a child, he was always curious about what it felt like. like, he’s read about it, heard about it, etc, but just couldn’t imagine HOW it could make someone laugh. afterall, it sounds so absurd. which makes total sense.

it wasn’t until he started hanging out with chenya and trey that he finally learned what it was like. chenya had been the one to poke him in the side first. riddle had jumped, sputtered, giggled, and jsut reaxted like how any ticklish person would and riddle was like,, what was that?? chenya had simply told him he was curious and trey was like “oh, youre ticklish, huh?” and suddenly it made SO MUCH sense. THATS what tickling was like, and now that he had a taste of it, he was curious about more. being actually tickled and tickling someone. thankfully, being friends witb the two, he did in fact experience those

when he arrived at nrc, it didnt happen as much but trey seemed to notice that riddle didnt exactly hate tickling. as he got older he tried to hide it, but he didnt hate iy. maybe wasnt as interested as when he was younger, but it was more neutral. trey would like to poke him to get his attention and such.

trey is ticklish but maybe would prefer to be tbe ler, or at least let it be equal. he’s like, teh nonchalant tickler HELPP so like, usually won’t go very far, not more than a poke to tbe side or something small like that, but well, he still does it to like most of heartslabyul and his friends outside of heartslabyul, but is like totally casual abt it so sometimes ppl wonder if they should even bring it up

when they do, “i only wanted to get your attention.” hey trey! calling their name works just as well btw!! no but sometimes he does it just because he feels like it. always the same excuse too😭

cater is pretty ticklish. he has a love-hate relationship of it. i thjnk he enjoys tickling people, but doesnt do it much because HE doesnt particularly ENJOY getting tickled and he doesnt want them to like, retaliate. he doesnt hate it but his sisters loved tickling hjm when he was younger so it kinda left a bad taste in his mouth. basically, he usually will only have a good time if its someone he knows well and is comfortable with and he knows theh wont push him to the brink. he doesnt like to laugh uncontrollably i feel like. eitherway, he def tickles others the same exact way bc he doesnt want them to feel the same way he does about it.

he doesnt mind gentle tickles at all, but again, ws long as he’s with the right people. i feel like with a partner, he would actyally really love tickles while they r cuddling. super cute, yes.

deuce didnt get tickled a lot, at least not until he entered nrc. never really had any feelinfs towards it. he hated it when he was younger, became more neutral about it when he grew up. he would definitely defend someone if they thought it was embarrassing. “everyones ticklish! nothing to be ashamed of!”

this actually leads to him getting tickled about half the time😭😭 because everyone loves to tickle the first year students (i would too). super embarrassed? yes. super awkward? yes. hates it? nope!! prob would be blushing and all but never have any complaints

ace, on tbe other hand, did get tickled a lot when he was younger and that did not change upon his arrival to nrc. i dont know how to describe it, he just radiates those vibes. also i frel like he was more of the “popular” guys in middle school (he peaked in middle school just kidding) but he was prob the one his frienfs liked to gang up on and tickle

doesnt PARTICULARLY seek out being tickled but will ALWAYS join in if one of his friends is being tickled in front of him with the most sadistic smile on his face. he js evil, do not let urself be tickled by him (or do maybe).

yk that guy who will convince others to tickle the super scary boss?? no?? well whatever, that’s cater. tell me he doesnt whisper to the freshman to tickle riddle… everyone knows its him too except riddle because, well, the freshman never get too far in their endeavors. afterall, leaders are to set an example!

trey knows ofc, but does he stop it? ofc not!! riddle needs a laugh time to time after all.

tickle fights. between all five of them. most r started by the chaotic duo (ace and deuce) or cater. and well, the winner is USUALLY cater or riddle, trey too. ace and deuce never win. plus, cater has his clones to back him up, but if riddle uses his spell, he’s the first one gone

trey just kinda lets it happen, until he doesnt. yea hes ticklish but rarely does he lose unless he lets it happen on purpose. (until u get his back, then he’s done for) riddle and cater know this pretty well, ace and deuce have yet to find out. whenever they come close, trey quickly turns the tables LOL

[pixeljade]

Okay im CAUGHT UP with the magnus protocol now! Some thoughts:

Obviously we know who Norris and Chester are, and its almost certain that leaves Augustus as Jonah Magnus. The question is, are they really "them"? Or have they simply manifested in this universe as voices, echoes of who they were beyond? If they do have agency on any level, what level would that be?

Everyone seems to be trying to categorize the new statements with the entities from before. And while we see fragments of them, let us not forget: the entities are more like colors, blending into eachother. Its entirely possible this world has a different set of obvious colors, based on the fears of its inhabitants

We've heard the Magnus Institute namedropped, as well as obvious references to Grifter's Bone. Are these statements confirming that both entities exist in this world as well? Or perhaps these statements arent actually from this world, but leftovers from World A? We never did get confirmation that all the statements back there got read, and thus far the only confirmed supernatural thing in World B is the bizarre nature of FR3-d1.

There's no way that Gwen Bouchard's last name is a coincidence, nor is her desire to climb to the top of this bureaucratic structure. That said, reminder that Elias Bouchard before his possession by Jonah Magnus was described as "something of a stoner", so the characterization of Gwen doesnt match TRUE Elias, but the possessed version of him. Still possible it is truly Elias unpossessed, but the harrowing experience he went through made him more serious. And also somehow forcefemmed him? That or its someone just related otherwise to Elias.

If the Magnus Institute and Grifter's Bone DO exist in World B, how much else exists here? Clearly there's SOME similarities, but are there perhaps alternate versions of people here? The hints toward Grifter's Bone in particular would seem to hint precisely that fact.

The Magnus "Protocol" makes it sound like a contingent plan Jonah Magnus came up with in the event that someone would do exactly what happened at the end of TMA, and if so, that scares me immensely. If Jonah Magnus can see all, even with the blindspot and secrecy, he likely knew that the blindspot could be a way to another world. This could be all according to keikaku for him.

Sam's connection to the Magnus Institute has me worried. It reminds me of how Tim became so fixated on the Stranger because of past trauma. And Tim...well. We remember how that story ended.

Alice says this shit doesnt get to her, and yet she's afraid, constantly. I dont think she's being completely honest, she KNOWS there's a darkness there. She may refuse to look directly into the abyss but the very fact that she sticks with a job where she knows the abyss lives...I think she saw something she can't walk away from. She also reminds me of Tim, hiding behind jokes and pretending to be fine.

Colin clearly knows the most about the truth. Maybe he's pulling a Gertrude, trying to keep it disorganized to prevent what he views as an evil plot? Or maybe he's just a bid mad because of it all. But I think he's got interesting character potential.

Anyways thats my thoughts so far. God its good, feels like the original series never ended! When the reveal that the painter in episode 2 was editing *her own flesh* instead of the artwork with her palette knife I gasped audibly. Great stuff

[single-malt-scotch]

Bdubs' typing style

saw a post that i felt did Not describe bdubs' typing habits correctly at all so i needed to make a post about it.

OLD typing style (like 2011 early years) bdubs kinda sucked at typing and grammar lol. He was a slow typer and spelled stuff wrong a lot (mostly big words. he would often voice how he didnt know how to spell sometimes as he did it. and then he'd spell it wrong lol). would type abbreviations too like bbl, brb, lol, np, etc. Sometimes he would type ones like "lol" in all caps. He would also shorten some words/spell them an alternate way like "gunna" instead of "gonna" or "lil" instead of "little"

He didn't really use emotes too much other than a basic :) or ;) usually. you could maybe throw in a :P or :D if you wanted but i mostly see the former.

He would not use other punctuation like apostrophes much if at all, sometimes use commas where needed, and not capitalize his sentences. would use periods if typing more than one sentence in the same message, and using question marks where needed, and sometimes exclamation marks if he felt the need (sometimes more than one if hes "mad"). he'd even use "..." in his sentences (usually without a space between words).

examples from mindcrack

NEW typing style- Bdubs is technically better at typing (lol). One of the issues with new videos though in order to find chat messages is that people often cut out any kind of chatting in edited videos. But i will describe what i can based off what we do see- (its not much different tbh)

A bit faster of a typer now but if you watch him actually type in videos/streams, you'll see him get stuck sometimes as he tries to figure out his sentences. but he does spell things correctly now for the most part.

Interestingly I would sometimes see in old videos where id see him typing some sentences in a more ~proper~ manner. ex one being "i look forward to seeing such things as these" at guude when he said he was recording something. In hermitcraft charity stream last year he whispered to etho "of course! with our prefect prowess" (screenshot below). which is not at all his *usual* way of typing, its more exaggerated on purpose.

this is funny to me that i have noted it so long ago, and then we have a guy who seems very into settings that would lend that kind of speech (all his bwb kingdoms, the king arc with ren where its VERY apparently used). that said he doesnt do this much- dont go overboard on this one! i feel its mainly when bragging about himself, or a few times where he thinks it would be amusing- he can be pretty sarcastic sometimes (outside of the king arc roleplaying)

He still doesn't use emotes much (i cant think of many new videos where he does, but i dont have as much reference in these new videos. i would play it safe and stick to the simple ones mentioned above. While he still doesn't punctuate his sentences as much and still doesn't capitalize, I feel like he types a bit more how he talks? using exclamations more to finish his sentences, sometimes a "?!", maybe more than one exclamation even- and usually when sounding "mad" in chat he will use all caps. sometimes a multiple !! or ??

from hermitcraft streams

sooo i hope that gives a good idea.

[bisquuet]

hi! still alive! AN UPDATE: LONG READ :D no new devlin content since im focusing on my oc comic :( ( speaking of comics. remember that other comic i posted here like once and never talked about it again?? yeah.. ) - lets talk about that. will i ever go back to that comic? -yes, when? i don't know.. i realized i went into the comic very.. unprepared.. or less prepared than i thought i was. so it got me second guessing things and getting confused..!! i have a VAGUE idea of how I want it to go, or atleast i DID, now im not so sure.. I think i need to sit down, splurge out my thoughts and ideas and go from there,, now i technically have a WHOLE post that is done that was supposed to be dropped shortly after the first one. but i thought to myself, oh ill just work on the next update and once im halfway THEN ill drop the second one! i never got halfway. i ended up just sketching more up ahead and adjusting and ''fixing'' things in the second update. making me loose track of time and getting behind, not only i had school to deal with too! so i just have a LOT of storyboarding of pages...that im slighlty afraid of looking at cuz i know that ill want to fix it but ill be unmotivated to actually fix it.. (bad rawr!!) eventually i have to get to it..!! >< ANOTHER major factor of the delay was my confidence, i wasn't satisifed and even frustrated at times when something didnt come out as good as it did in my head. i REALLY like the first update pages! especially devlins scene! but i think i got too ahead of myself and put WAY too much onto my plate, raising expections, of others and myself, mostly myself.... and I was trying to copy to a manga style, rather than convert my style normally into a manga setting, if that makes any sense. so i wasnt.... 'comfortable' drawing.. i dont know how else to describe it! but ever since then and even before, ive been getting less confident with my art and my style, feeling like its ugly or its getting worse. forcing myself to keep drawing, straining myself trying to make something that looks good to me. i have lots of fun and joy drawing for others, the reason i draw is BECUZ i just want to share what i make! as shallow as it sounds i like creating content for others to enjoy! it makes me happy and proud of what i draw! so. when i make something i dont like, i cant bring myself to show it cuz I dont like it.. others may, but that wouldnt change how i would feel about it. i felt that way deeply with the second update, which is why i kept tweaking it,,, and so I just let myself get caught up with other things.. feeling upset and guilty that I kinda just.. abandonded the comic..! saying that ill pracitce and oh ill do that , i Need to do this and this and this when i havent even done ANYTHING! i think, and i genuinely mean this, i think ive only recently started to ACTUALLY do things.! like development for my OC comic, writing for it, making content and sharing about them to whoever would lend an ear! so in a way the seewar comic walked so that my OC comic could run, hopefully.. so, unfortunately ill be focsuing more of my attention on my OC comic, and i honestly can't promise anything. the only thing i CAN say is that i will share the second update that i finished long ago.., no matter how much internal rawr doesnt want to, i feel like thats the first step to overcoming this fear and dread ive associate with the comic, which is something i DONT want. ill be scheudling to drop this weekend since ill be away.. i dont know when ill actively start working on the seewar comic again becuz i genuinely want to finish it and share it, i just have to not be too ambitious and plan out whats necessary. anyways.. now that school is out im finally paying all of my debts and owed art.. its rough but it has to be done. thanks if you have read all of this,, i greatly appreacite the support, from friends and followers, fossils, (thats what my fans are called wink wink) love yall fr <3

[wtf-is-sleep-even]

MODERN/DND AU

(short thing i wanted to write cause you guys seem to like AU's more than i thought. Human AU, they play DND* *quick note i dont really know exactly how DND or TTRPG's work but i know theres a storyline mechanic and im using that to my advantage)

It really was an accident, truly. Jedediah didnt even know what DND was up until half a year ago, one of his best friends teenaged kid, Nicky, had picked up a kick for table top rpg's, Jed thought it was stupid at first but tagged along just to be sure there was enough players, he did care for the kid, he was like his nephew, he just didnt expect how much fun it would be. An hour and a half in and he was bored out of his mind, another hour in he was coughing up his lungs he was laughing so much! it was nice to spend time with his friends like this, and it made the kid happy, so he kept going.

it's just make-believe, a game of pretend, but the feelings he felt were real, anxious at the next battle, frustrated at the confusing (but clever) puzzles, the surprise and humor at a funny encounter, the second hand embarrassment for when one of his friend's characters made a fool of themself, and, the love. Jed knew that he felt something different for Octavius, at first he thought he hated the guy, but day after day it was made known that he actually loved him.

and of course, he had to be in the same DND group as him, classic, whats even funnier is that in-game, their characters are married, something about appeasing a court in the faewild, it didnt matter much because just a few weeks after that, Octavius asked him out on a date. They've been a couple ever since. But the group doesnt know that, they've made jokes here and there but it never crossed any lines, Jedediah didnt tell anyone out of fear first, Octavius didnt tell anyone because nobody asked much, he told people casually and it wasnt much of a problem after, so they never told the group.

Jed wasnt afraid anymore, so why not take a chance?

it was one of the calmer sessions in the games, still walking carefully in case of any curses that reside in the lands. "Its an awfully inviting clearing, the trees shift and stir, the birds chirp and sing, a foggy mist settles over the sides dimming the lights to reveal fireflies dancing in the air, but hiding any way of escape, what do you do?" Nicky narrates, hes gotten so much better at it, instead of the stumbly, stuttering sections of small text and strained, hidden voices of characters he was trying to play, he was bold and steady, the picture flowing seamlessly into the next "can i look to see if there are any traps or illusions?" Ahkmenrah asks, one of Jed and Larry's best friends from highschool, both of them were happy to see him again

"roll a perception check, add a disadvantage because of the fog" Ahk rolls his D-20 "uh, 17" Nicky nods, looking over to gloss over the page of his notebook "you spot a beartrap at the side of a fallen tree, its clapped around one of its branches, reaching out to touch the outside of the clearing, it seems that its real, but it doesnt feel like wood, it feels like a stone pillar, the area isnt an illusion, but not everything is right" they nod, one of them in the group, a guy named Lance that Ahk dragged along (who Jed totally didnt wanna punch because Octavius remarked on his eyes, no way) advanced forward and saw a shallow grave in the dirt, they all came to see it

"is there anything at the bottom?" Oct asked, Nicky smiled, bad sign "there is! a small wooden chest, there isnt any locks on it, it seems you can just open it like you would with any other box" Octavius hummed, Jed tried to ignore how the sound gave him butterflies "i take the box!" lance announced, Nicky describes how he takes it, opening it up to reveal a bottle with a note in it and a sharp dagger, obsidian blade with a willow wood handle, Octavius opted to inspect the dagger for any inscriptions or engravings

"you take the dagger in your hands, it feels heavier than any steel or even obsidian that you've ever held, in the handle it reads "with love, My dagger" everyone was confused, another puzzle, woo boy. Ahk tried to figure it out but just got nowhere, Octavius asked if there was anywhere you could put a dagger, "the stone alter shines slightly, there seemed to be a slot in it, but the air around it seemed that whoever did this, would pay a price" Octavius debated for a second before saying to insert the dagger, his character was met with a faewild curse

"you fall over, completely unconscious before you even hit the ground, a faewild curse passes over you, you shall be alseep for until you find a kiss of true and pure love, y'know like that one disney princess, sleeping beauty or snow white, i cant remember, but yeah" the group chuckles while Octavius states that this couldnt have ended worse, suddenly Lance pipes up "arent Gaius and Smith married? would Smith be able to wake him up or no?" Nicky passes Jed a D-20 "roll"

Jedediah rolled "12" Nicky laughed "alright yeah, Smith kneels down to check whats wrong, feeling the compelling urge to kiss Gaius, he gives him a kiss on the lips and suddenly Gaius's eyes flicker open, hes awake but has a disadvantage on all persuasion and strength rolls" the two others laugh, not thinking that would actually work when Jed smirked, the fun of DND was mostly that they got to act out what the characters do, right? he shrugged "alright"

Jedediah grabbed Octavius's face, pulling him in for a kiss, Octavius was shocked by the sudden affection but melted into it quickly, closing his eyes and pulling the other by the collar of his shirt. The table went into absolute chaos, they didnt expect THIS, Octavius pulled away with a smile, Jed chased his lips, connecting them again for another kiss "ALRIGHT BREAK IT UP BREAK IT UP!!" Ahkmenrah and Nicky yelled.

yeah, Jedediah likes DND nights

[lilysaus]

okay. this fucking picture made me so mad i went on a 15 minute rant to my sister while she was trying to read her book.

so ive been looking at a lot of pictures of posts on pinterest because thats just where i spend most of my time. most of these posts are on the topic of adhd. ive never been properly diagnosed, but reading through these posts has made me feel so welcomed and understood (more than my parents have made me feel, pretending that this is "all just a phase that ill get over soon because pretending to have adhd is just the thing right now") that i realized ON MY OWN that "hey maybe i do have adhd." well.

i found this post while scrolling through pinterest, and it really sparked my anger.

i have a friend who was diagnosed with add before it was considered an "outdated" term and scrapped because apparently ALL FUCKING FORMS OF NEURODIVERGENCY THAT ARENT AUTISM ARE JUST "ADHD".

i read this post and it was what sparked my anger and my 15 minute rant to my sister. people who get degrees in this stuff, or counselors at schools, never really know what youre going through. all they know is that youre having some problems and they need to be solved.

which brings me back to this picture. if you look up "is add still a thing" on google, this is the first picture to pop up. and just seeing the visual aids they put with it makes me furious enough to throw something or someone out a fifth story window. the little girl is fucking SMILING while thinking about the most common shit people think us neurodivergent folks think when distracted. first off, no. false. we dont just think of video games and candy. we think of the randomest shit possible, like how long can i sit here without blinking or what kind of funny shit can i draw on this one sheet of paper.

and ALSO.

you cant just categorize adhd as TWO SEPARATE THINGS and call it good. we dont fit under two umbrellas. theres too many of us. we each have our own figurative umbrellas that only we ourselves can fit under, no one else. thats the problem with neurotypicals. they fit the typical stereotype for humans: we try to understand everything by putting it in a box. those lists of "symptoms"? i match every single one. on both sides. so ha. take that SCIENTISTS. what am i? some kind of freak of nature because i dont fit under just ONE of your precious categories?

i also looked up what "inattentive" means and it made me angrier. according to oxford languages, "inattentive" means "not paying attention to something", which doesnt seem too bad, right? it fits some people perfectly with their symptoms, right? but its not the definition that bugs me. its the example sentence thats used. "a particularly dull and inattentive student". basically saying that if you dont pay attention well to something, youre dull and boring.

im sorry, what? sometimes i have trouble paying attention, sure, but you ask any of my friends and they can agree i am NOT boring in any way, shape, or form. non of them would describe me as "dull". inattentive? sure, but not dull. so to call it "inattentive" adhd, instead of just add, is stupid! my friend with ADD (not fucking adhd, stupid scientists) is one of the funniest, most entertaining people ive ever met. shes an incredible artist, super smart, and knows how to make anyone laugh. does that sound dull to you? does she have problems focusing sometimes? yes. does she struggle with doing something sometimes? yes. but dont the rest of us?

my point is, when i see things like this, it pisses me off. like, unless all of the scientists who agreed "add" is an outdated term have it themselves, i refuse to believe its outdated and i will continue to say that my friend has it. she was literally diagnosed by the doctor telling her "you have attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder without the hyperactivity." THATS JUST FUCKING ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER YOU DUMBASS!!!

anyway, i hope im not the only one who feels this way. i just felt it necessary to get this out there. maybe someday, people wont be so dumb and single minded. in my opinion, neurodivergent people are superior in intellect and creativity, but i guess until someone like that takes over the world and dropkicks neurotypicals into the stratosphere, we'll never know.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. HIIII good evening <3 holding microphone up to u. i would love ur scion thoughts post-interlude!! if u have any!! i know u have Opinions on him i wanna know how the redstringing's going!!!!

OH DUDE I HAVE SOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY FUCKING OPINIONS. GOD. WHAT THE FUCK . WAS NOT EXPECTING 2 LEARN THIS INFORMATION WHEN I WAS TIPSY ON CLOWN WINE AT MIDNIGHT BUT ALAS HERE WE FUCKING ARE I GUESS. CASUAL WORM READING EXPERIENCE. FUCK

okay okay okay oka. that interlude was so fucking good it both answered some of my questions and also gave me SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS. as soon as kevin started talking about being the most powerful man in the world i KNEW. i KNEW it was gonna be some scion bullshit. at first i thought it was gonna be like some... witch from beauty and the beast bullshit where he Was Actually scion just. posing as an eccentric homeless guy out of costume. which would have disappointed me i think because i am so dead set on scion Not Being Human.

WHICH. I FEEL SO STRONGLY IN MY HEART THIS CHAPTER SUPPORTED SO WELL. when they described how Simurgh first appeared floating motionless over a city. dude. dude. my first fucking thought with that was "hey that sounds like what people say about scion." he doesnt speak. his face never moves. hes extremely powerful, so far the only person powerful to drive away the endbringers. he's GOTTA be the same type of thing they are. not human, never was human, but for some reason he Looks Human. like... simurgh does too, but shes still huge and has weird proportions and the wings. scion as far as i know is normal sized and looks mostly human besides being gold. i havent figured that out yet

having a LOT OF FEELINGS about . the whole reason scion does what he does is because some miserable man with a heart of gold told him to. side note i reallyyyy really got attached to kevin i liked him a lot :( that brings into question SO MANY fucking things about the endbringers. this is full on mac ghostiezone game theory moment at this point but. i dont know where they came from, but it seems like at their first appearance they were... susceptible to orders? and this just happened to be an extremely lucky right place at the right time moment. I cant even imagine a world where scion wasnt a "hero" and was instead a force of destruction like the endbringers. which brings up the question... did anyone else try to talk to the endbringers at their first appearances? i cant IMAGINE anyone would willingly go near leviathan or behemoth considering their more monstrous dangerous appearance . but what about simurgh? im acting on the assumption that the endbringers are some sort of Creation and i dont know what their purpose is but either option 1: someone DID talk to the other 3 and it was someone with extremely bad intentions and gave them the orders to become what they are now or option 2: nobody said shit to them and theyre acting on base instinct????? idk. im viewing the endbringers more like. animals or natual disasters than anything and i dont know if thats exactly correct to do but its how my brain works. so.

the big difference between them is that... scion acts with a Goal, where the endbringers seem more like forces of nature that dont really act with any sort of. purpose. simurgh is the exception to this though since she went out of her way to obscure the information about power origins from reaching dragon and also the way she acts makes it seem like... she Knows something. i dont know i still have sooo many questions.

im REALLY worried about whats gonna happen now that kevin gave him the new order to kill. im really worried its gonna be like a monkeys paw situation where... maybe one or all of the endbringers will die, but then what the fuck does he do after that. come back to whats her name (is it lisette?) for more orders? theres no guarantee lisette will be anywhere near as. idk. selfless? as kevin? that feels wrong. idk. she seemed scared of that situation and didnt want the responsibility placed on her so what if she avoids it and never gives scion any other orders???? will he just fall back on old programming and start killing other "bad" things???? is THIS how the fucking apocalypse starts. this has gotta be connected to the apocalypse in some way i can feel it in my bones. scion with kill orders makes me feel crazy.

[catwyk]

ok i finished malevolent season 1 and i have a LOT of thoughts that im gonna write down becausr im bored. spoilers for season 1 and warning for me being a picky listener !

first off. HARLAN GUTHRIE THE MAN THAT YOU ARE. insane that this guy is doing ALL the voices?? AND all the writing??? AND all the editing and sound design????? WHAT the fuck. honestly the fact that hes (almost) the only guy working on this podcast kind of negates all my gripes n nitpicks

i LOVE the arthur/john dynamic. it reminds me a lot of venom and eddie brock but its def distinct. and its great

i rlly appreciate the amount of guidance john gives arthur, i think more would be realistic but tedious so this is a good compromise

now. speaking of realism. my main gripe

(i feel like this is gonna be a very subjective take so yknow dont take it too seriously)

two main things kind of bother me: arthur recovers from major injuries SUPER QUICKLY, and in 12 episodes he has only eaten once. yknow that post where someone's talking about their immersion in period pieces being broken by the chicken breeds bein wrong? this is very much how i feel LMAO like ok theres a supernatural healing element (this too shall pass) fine yep good. but arthur should NOT have been up and walking and ROWING so soon after a month of coma. he loses a shitload of blood from his abdomen TWICE and sure he has major reactions but after that he just sort of. keeps going. and not to mention THIS GUY DOESNT EAT HOW IS HE HEALING!!!!! SIR!!! YOUR MACROMOLECULES SIR!!!!!

obviously if we were with him every single time he eats and for every second of his recovery it would absolutely drag so im not expecting him to be seeking out food every episode but this is another compromise issue that i feel like isnt as well balanced as john being arthur's seeing eye eldritch god

but again this is probably just a case of me being sensitive to certain parts of realism that other people arent so this is very much a nick picking complaint

as for the writing, i rly like the diegetic framing of the narration as john describing any given situation to arthur

however i think an unfortunate symptom of this is that sometimes the narration feels overly descriptive and eloquent in situations where it shouldnt be. like when theyre being attacked by the amphibious river creature, john says something like "stomach and ventral area", which was honestly. So unexpected it took me out of the scene entirely i was just like he would not fucking say that lol

another thing is sometimes the tension building does not work at all. the rising strings feel too cliché to have any real effect, and the way john speaks about horrors can get repetitive to the point where it just doesnt bother me. "fuck. arthur.... there's *something* in the water/in the room/hunting us". that kind of vagueness doesnt work well for me a least anyway, but when its happening every episode or more it really gets old

anyway that being said i think those are my only real complaints and i think theyre so subjective anyways so like do they even count

also im heartbroken im unable to stop myself looking up spoilers bc the john is the king on yellow reveal would have been so cool if i didnt know it was coming

and the fanart. is so fucking good