#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Climbing Trees
Steve Rogers x Single Mom! Reader
Steve enjoys days like this. These are days when the skies are open, when the winds are soft, and the city is quiet ( or as quiet as the city could be). On days like this, Steve would find a quiet moment and go to Central Park, take a seat with a book or his sketch pad, and just enjoy it. Or try to at least sometimes he'd get company.
"Why hello there?" Steve said as he put his sketch pad down, opening his hands up to pet the Great Dane that approached him. He got a few pets in before the doggy snatched his bag off the bench and took off. "Hey," he shouted and gave chase.
The dog took him a good way through the park and didn't stop until he stopped dropping his bag in front of a woman who stood in front of a large tree with a German shepherd by her side.
"Not now, Titus." the woman scolded the dog, more focused on the big tree.
"Hello?" Steve called
The woman turned around in shock and joy. " Oh, oh yes, good Titus, Good boy." She cheered. " excuse me, sir, could you help us?"
Steve took a moment to take in the woman's appearance. Disheveled clothes, jeans and hoodie covered in grass stains and leaves, dirty and cuts on her face, a wrist brace on her right arm, and very clearly distraught.
"um, sure."
The woman pointed to the top of the tree, where he spotted a little girl clinging to a large branch. She looked scared.
" She's stuck. She got her leg stuck on one of the branches, and she can't get out. I've tried, but I can't get to her." The state of her appearance and the broken branches around them clearly showed that she had definitely tried and failed. " Please, please, can you- can you please -"
"I've got it, ma'am," he said, handing her his ballcap and started making his way up the tree. He talked to the little girl as he made his way up to her.
" What's your name?" the girl said her name. " That's a beautiful name. How did you get up here?"
"I climbed. I like climbing." She watched as Steve carefully moved between the branches and up the tree.
"You must be an excellent climber, like a Squirrel," he said, noting the acorns on her shirt. " I'm going to call you baby squirrel," he said as he finally made it to the branch underneath her
"Baby Panda, do you know who I am?"
"Captain America," she whispered, still clinging to her branch.
"That's right, and I'm here to save you." She gave a small smile, but she was still gripped by fear. Taking a look at her stuck foot. He found it wedged tightly between the branch she was clinging to and a smaller one. " You look pretty stuck, but don't worry, I'll get you out. Alright, I'm going to need you to stay still." she confirmed with nod.
Taking the smaller branch, he pulled it back until it snapped then helped her pull her foot free. " Ta-da"
"I thought I was stuck forever," the girl said as she sat up on the branch, fear completely gone.
"That would have been terrible. How about we get down now?" Steve opened his arms to her. She smiled as he helped her climb into his arms, and he made his way down with her.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." the woman said as Steve handed her daughter to her.
"you're welcome."
"No more climbing; we are staying out of trees, aren't we." she said as she checked her daughter for any bruises or cuts. " Thank you again. You're a lifesaver. Honey, don't you want to say thank you to Mr...."
"Steve"
"Why don't you say Thank you to Mr. Steve?"
" Wanna sandwich?" the little girl pointed to a picnic blanket and basket not that far away.
"We were having lunch before she decided to join the squirrels in the trees. We have extra if you want to join us."
" I wouldn't want to intrude."
"nonsense. You saved my darling from living life as a squirrel. Come on." She started to make her way back to their blanket. Followed by her German Shepherd and Great Dane, who once again had Steve's bag in his mouth.
Sitting on the blanket, she was once again fussing over her daughter,r making sure there were no unseen injuries.
"I never got your name, Mrs. ?"
"Oh no, (Y/n) (L/n) never got the Mrs," she said as she pulled out some hand sanitizer, giving her daughter a few squirts before passing it to Steve. " Car accident when I was 4 months. Lost him, nearly lost her, and nearly lost my arm too." she motioned to the wrist brace. " Nothing but metal now."
"I'm so sorry,"
"It's already. Things happen. We're still here. Now, chicken or ham?"
"Chicken, please." she passes him a chicken sandwich and a water bottle.
"We also have mixed fruit, cheese and crackers, nuts, chips, and little lemon cakes." Steve watched as she unloaded their basket. This looked more like a meal for Thor and his bottomless pit. " I always bring extra in case she makes friends."
"I did see. Captain America." the girl said as she leaned against her great dane, who sat next to her.
(Y/n) She rolled her eyes for a moment, but then she saw Steve smirk and put a finger on his lip and his ballcap back on his head.
"I-I didn't notice."
"It's okay. Actually, I appreciated that you didn't."
"Where's your shield?" her daughter whispered loudly.
"I left it at home."
"Are you spying?"
"No, I came to draw in the park."
"We draw in the park, too. Can I see your pictures? I'll show you mine." Steve chuckled, offering his sketchpad to the girl. Mom was smart enough to wipe her hands before allowing her to take it. And offered him her coloring book.
"Pretty," she said, touching the pages.
"Yours are pretty, too." and they were. She stayed between the lines, and although she chose the strangest colors, they worked together. Pink and purple zebra, who would have thought.
"She is a very artistic six-year-old. A star in the making." (y/n) praised her as she blushed and hid behind his sketch pad.
"Oh, hello," Steve said as the German shepherd put its head in Steve's lap.
"Sorry about Ace. He likes human pillows for his naps." (Y/n) tried to shoo him, but he claimed Steve to be his and didn't move. Steve didn't mind. Cute puppier.
"How'd you get these guys?"
"My fiance- Her dad. They were his, and he also has a cat. Alfred is no doubt enjoying the peace and quiet at home."
"He comes with his own suit."
"Really?!" Steve said astonished
"Mommy, show him."
(Y/n) pulled out her phone and showed him a pic of their back and white cat. His fur did indeed look like he was wearing a suit. He wasn't really focused on that. He was more focused on the pretty lady holding the cat. There was a small kitten curled up on her chest as she laid back, smiling at the camera. It was a beautiful smile; she was gorgeous. Not that now she wasn't gorgeous, but she was still covered in a fair amount of nature to hide that beauty, and he had yet to see that smile. But considering how her day was going, that made sense.
"Beautiful,"
" He is,"
"Not talking about him." she blushed and put her phone away.
"Thank you."
"Mommy, it's you." Her daughter showed them the sketchpad, which had a sketch of (Y/n) sitting on a bench with a book in her lap.
"Sorry," Steve quickly went to apologize.
"This is beautiful. When did you?" he pointed to the date at the bottom of the page. " On my lunch break. I didn't even see you."
"The power of the ballcape."
"How about you come to join next time you see me?" she passed his sketchpad back.
"Yes, ma'am." There was that gorgeous smile he was hoping to see. It was far more brilliant in person, and he couldn't help but smile with her.
" He can join us at our next picnic, Mommy."
"I mean, if he'd want to."
"I'd like that very much." He had no doubt that he was in a deep blush. " Maybe I can get your number, and you can call me when you have your next picnic."
"Yeah," he handed her his phone. Her daughter started quizzing him on his favorite foods so they could have it for their next picnic.
"Oh," (Y/n) said as his phone started buzzing just as she finished putting her contact in.
He quickly took his phone back. " I'm sorry, I have to go-"
"Save the world"
" That's right, baby squirrel." the little lady giggled.
"Here you go," (Y/n) said as she stood up, handing him a small bowl of fruit. " Fuel for the road." Titus was kind enough to pick up his bag and give it to him., that earned him some pets.
"Thank you, thank all of you."
"You're welcome."
"Until next time? I'll call you? You little Lady, stay out of trees."
"Oh, she will, bye."
"Bye, bye captain."
"Bye, bye"
#fanfiction#avengers#avengers fanfiction#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers x reader#steve roger x reader fanfiction#captain america#marvel#marvel fanfiction
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
Are there any of your books where you reread and you're like, "yo, I had the SAUCE with this one" ? Books where you were in a flow state so crazy you don't even know if you can replicate it?
hmm. it's less about the reread and more my memory of the experience of writing it, but i think objects of affection is the most focused i've ever been on what i was doing. once i knew what i wanted it to be it came rocketing out, to the point even my editor was like "you hardly need to touch this part" about the samart story, something i've never managed to achieve (and is in its own way harder to deal with, because you'll second guess what edits you Do make forever. but that's for another post)
for a while after writing it and especially after releasing it to the most positive critical response i ever received, it was a bit daunting to think how i could follow it up. i'd raised the bar for myself away from silly, horny shenanigans. i had other ideas in the androids genre, or to revisit the characters, but couldn't imagine writing them if only because simple horniness could undermine the points about misogyny and consent. so i ended up pretty stuck until i let myself just have fun again with the work i'm doing for atra menta.
though in regards to True Flow State, i think the fastest i ever wrote something was my very first book, the captain of the tybaltine. i banged out the first draft of that in ten days. and i think an early unreleased first draft of roger and the vampires was a week? but that draft was Not good so it's hardly worth bragging.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.
#at the risk of getting put on a list there is something tragic & relatable in nightmare#someone who desperately wants to make connections but just can't understand how#anyway wraith is one of my favorite princesses for stuff like this (and bc tragedy aside her route is a riot)#also im sorry if she doesn't say that line if you got there via nightmare#that's how i got her and i could've sworn she did? But i only found footage of her saying it in spectre#slay the princess#stp#stp wraith#the wraith#stp spectre#stp nightmare#side note archetypal/heart#(slash so i don't accidentally tag them)#pointed out on another post of mine that you get wraith via nightmare by killing her and via spectre by leaving her in the basement#in both cases its a rejection of her (rejection being one of wraith's main themes)#which makes me speculate on spectre's ch 3 (which i think we currently have very little info on?)#Trying to run from Nightmare should technically be a 'rejection' as well#but you get MOC from that (and from choosing to stay with her)#imo bc you're just repeating the same inaction which got you into this situation in the first place#you don't want to slay her. you don't want to set her free. So you just leave her there (again)#and so you get MOC where things have only gotten worse and you have no choice left. Because you chose *not* to take action again#So I wonder if spectre 3 will be a similar 'repeating your past mistakes' type of deal#i was skeptical about it coming from stabbing yourself while she possesses you or trying to crush her bones#but it does make sense with that in mind#im curious if it'll parallel MOC#except instead of having no choice but to free the princess you have no choice but to obey the narrator again#maybe you both end up stuck in the cabin forever again?#idk#sorry i probably should've put all of that tag in the post lmao
378 notes
·
View notes
Note
I hope they don't make The Drifter and by proxy The Hex irrelevant by just leaving them in 1999 forever like how Excalibur Umbra stopped being story relevant.
#ok just gonna confess I sent this one in because it kept me up at night slightly when I got up to use the bathroom#the way Excalibur Umbra just immediately lost relevance in the story bothered me and I'm scared the same will happen to the drifter#like you can only make so many characters be relevant at a time or stretch yourself thin I get it but like.... ugh it just bothers me#is the drifter just stuck completing the kalymos sequence forever now? doomed to save a time loop over and over?#having their friends from the hex forget them over and over and having to play catch up every single time? sounds a bit... depressing?#warframe does a lot of good things but utilizing the full potential story telling of their characters is where they sometimes fall flat#this is one thing i will always kind of like... idk ding digital extremes points for is not utilizing characters to the fullest potential#while still recognizing that gives them room to tell more stories with the characters DE has given us#idk what they'll do with the hex given the giants found in the Entrati labs but idk i just don't want these beloved characters to fade#out of relevancy if that makes sense. The Hex syndicate should have a say on whether or not they come to the future.#I just don't want all these characters getting stuck in the past forever or something and no longer in the story. terrifying thought.#mod rose#warframe confession#warframe 1999#warframe#the drifter#the hex#hex finale#hex finale spoilers#excalibur umbra
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
Paying more attention to the words now and like. does that mean Akutagawa gives the chocolate on valentine's day and Atsushi on white day. No you have to understand that's an extremely important piece of information that is fundamental to get their characterization no wait don't leave I need to kno—
#I don't want to bother the other person who posted this by reblogging this a thousand times#but I WILL talk about this forever unfollow me now. No seriously this got me more hyped than anything the anime dropped so far???#I am so so starved for Beast sskk and I love them so much I think about them every day girl I need them to breathe 😭😭😭#On a different note I hope they drop a better quality version very soon I can't work with this...#bsd#bungou stray dogs#The caption is not a joke btw this is now Beast verse canon for me I'm 100% serious#THEY are the reason I'm still stuck in this fandom no joke#ryūnosuke akutagawa#atsushi nakajima#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd beast#bsd analysis#mine
836 notes
·
View notes
Text
it always makes me so happy when people say my ardbert/wol art feels joyous 🥹 i always really wanna get that across.....
#by dt it's been almost 4 yrs since the 5.3 game canon divergence point#and they have got somewhat used to being alive again/having ardbert Actually Be There by that point#but i don't think they ever lose that sense of. having wanted this and getting to have it. yknow. they r just so happy to be together#(we don't need to discuss what this means for alisaie and alphinaud lol for some reason i feel so weird making them adults!#even if they'd be like. 23? in my timeline of events. sorry forever stuck in the time bubble you two#although dt has made me want to push it a little more esp with the interactions between alisaie and wuk lamat#(she has an Older Sister vibe ok) so i guess it's smth i will need to. ponder my orbs over)
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Personally I'm choosing not to see Jey's IC Championship reign as a "hand off" ; or "transitional" ; or an obligatory "reward" —
He deserves better than his reign being "labeled".
This is all for the draw back into the Bloodline drama story. From the very beginning, this is what it was. But, also... It was to show that Jey IS capable. He showed he DOES deserve it. Showing he IS a Champion. Showing he CAN do it. He's proved he's got the fans with him. He's backed himself. He's established himself, and he's proven himself. He's always going to stick to and believe - "hard work will always pay off."
Of course Roman and Jimmy weren't going to interfere. Jey would've been absolutely livid if they did. He doesn't want them 'tainting' his reign. He wants it on his own merit. To earn it himself. Even if that means loosing. He sure as heck isn't going to go back to the old ways of the Bloodline retaining their championships; Roman's way of remaining Champ, and retaining.
This could possibly push him over the edge, making him desperate, scratchy, scrappy and scrambling even. He's now got *rage*; a bone to pick with the Bloodline 2.0. How's it going to tie in with the OG Bloodline? Even if they have the same goal now - taking down baby brother Solo? Is it going to be "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" type of situation? Or, like I mentioned in my previous post, "fix/heal what's between us" before we try and fix the outside — then we "fix" the outside together?
Having one over them, with the title was one of the things that gave Jey the confidence to say -Screw you. Right now, I am better than you, I've got the credibility- Now that he doesn't have that (not that he needs it) is he going to be a little more susceptible...
This IS the reaction they (wwe) wanted -
Outrage and desperation seeping into us. The fury, rage and disappointment so palpable. Our hearts beating with heated anger, inflamed with a certain kind of sadness. It has us aching for him, backing him more than ever before. He's made to suffer and all we want to do is pick him up and make sure he's okay, and he's given the best. Hold his hand and walk with him into a bright and better future filled with greater things.
All I can say is that he's got another level of support after this ridiculous travesty, the support has only grown; strengthen, heightened, deepened, intensified, and cemented to an even greater degree.
#Jey Uso#Jimmy Uso#Roman Reigns#Roman has convinced himself Jey wants nothing to do with them. And he's right.#Jimmy was flat on the ground dragged and beaten. He probably couldn't have helped even if he wanted to.#Jey wouldn't have wanted that anyway. But he's MAD NOW. And Solo and his posse better watch out.#I don't think Jey is going to be stuck in the Bloodline and go back to being Roman's sidekick. sorry. right-hand man forever.#I'll be honest. I hate that they gave us a taste only to brutally yank it away from us. He better go onto bigger and better things.#Something satisfying. captivating. gripping. brilliant. touching. stirring. fulfilling and with FEELING.#I know I'm asking for a lot. But I'm not. Okay I am. But. I'm really not.#He honestly doesn't NEED a reward (although they are wonderful) OR to PROVE himself.#He's been on top of the game for at least *10 YEARS* now in wwe. He's one half of the 'greatest tag-team'...#...I feel like THAT in itself is the prize. THAT in itself is the honor.#IC Championship#The Bloodline#OG Bloodline#The Bloodline 2.0#Solo Sikoa#wwe
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Episode 16 Queen of Tears BaekHong recap
I just have to say this again. It was fine if this amnesia plot happened in an earlier episode so that we can see Hae In slowly fall in love with Hyun Woo again even with YES manipulation. We should be able to see Hae In being guided by her own feelings towards Hyun Woo instead of just relying on her notebook or memories. To see they rediscover their miraculous love and how it blooms into something stronger than their attraction in the past. I love the angst from the early episodes and I imagine how perfect this drama would be if they can show the slow burn of their rediscovery of love. BUT… We lost a much more important plot for the BaekHong couple because PJE is much more interested in making more plot twists and having a ridiculous climax episode where Hyun Woo was hit by a car and then shot by YES but miraculously live. Even without the gunshot scene, it was already a life threatening situation for Hyun Woo after the accident. He had a severe ribs and liver injury WITH suspected internal bleeding. But that man survives (of course) it in the end even with a gunshot and loss of blood. I’m not complaining that the man survives (no one even surprised that he lives) but the extravagance of the situation was totally unnecessary when you have so many things left unexplained.
Scene: The promise he made
I’m kind of angry and disbelieving that they chose to show his promise right after he was being hit by the car. I don’t understand what more they want from him? He already realised his mistake and paid for it with their divorce and allowing Hae In to do as she please with the process, he got his karma when Hae In loss her memory and treated him badly which was how he was treated after their big fight which was also the start of their relationship going downhill. Both of them contribute the same for their divorce but I thought it was already settled when they both had a talk in front of Yongduri supermarket in episode 10. So honestly this part of memory just pissed me off.
The writer is portraying him as someone who forgot his promise but the timeline is wrong in my opinion. Hyun Woo promised to always take her side even if she can’t do the same for him. But, this promise comes before he knows that Hae In is a chaebol. After he knew the truth, he was hiding from Hae In by sending his resignation letter and staying at Yongduri when Hae In came with a helicopter to propose to him by promising to not make him cry and to put his trust on her. The problem here is that if they want to make it a point that Hyun Woo broke and forgot his promise to her, it should come with the understanding that he knew the full story. I’m not saying that his promise is invalid because he didn’t know the full story. I just fcking pissed that they had to pointed this out at this exact moment for a guy who had suffered so much from the family that didn’t appreciate him and with his wife that haven’t fully recovered her memory. It just sucks.
Scene: Lunatic Baek Hyun Woo
This guy with a severe rib and liver injury ran away from the ER to save his wife. He endures a long walk in forest which was covered in thick snow while braving through his injury. Does this even make sense? And to know later that he will be shot in his shoulder with a gun but still comes out alive and well. Can’t they make it a bit more realistic and choose one injury out of those two to make him survive till the end? Anyway, Hyun Woo arrives at Queen's family villa and has to walk through the forest in order to keep hiding from YES men. Luckily before he entered the family villa, their keeper’s clever dog found him and led the way to the keeper’s house. Shout out to this clever cutie for helping his saviour. He obtained the back door’s key and was able to find Hae In inside the villa.
Before we get to the point where Hyun Woo saves Hae In, I have something to say about YES's memory of the day Hong Soo Wan died. So, basically the back story is that YES was there when his mom caused the boat to capsize and caused the death of Hae In’s brother and her mother to hate her. I understand that this plot was important for Hae In to testify in court later for MSH crime. But let me stress this again. If you have so many back stories that need explanation, why don’t you do it sooner or have an extra episode? It’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that we didn’t even know how she did that and why was Hae In and her brother the only one on the boat without any adults? So many questions unanswered and so many things were left being told in a half-assed format.
Back to our couple, Hyun Woo cuts off the electricity in the villa and manages to bring Hae In out of there. But, they have to walk a long way through the thick snow to meet up with Yang Gi at the main gate. When Hyun Woo stumbles in the snow and Hae In worries about him, this is the first time she ever talks to him with warmth in her tone and gaze after her surgery. Hyun Woo was touched with her words and held back his tears while reaching to hold her hand and walking side by side through the snow. It seems that they are already close to the main gate before YES appears with crazy eyes holding a gun. Hyun Woo was shot when YES was aiming his gun at Hae In. While this guy is on the verge of dying, the only one he cares about is Hae In and tells her that he is okay while reaching her hands to tell her not to cry. The parallel that we never wanted was shoved to us when Hyun Woo asked her to not go anywhere, the exact same thing that Hae In asked from him in Germany. Hae In’s dialogue to Hyun Woo is also similar to his promises to her in Germany.
Scene: Hyun Woo being loved by everyone
Hae In’s mother finally realised that Hyun Woo was the one who saved Hae In from the drowning accident years ago. She regrets and is ashamed that she treated him badly while he was married to Hae In and giving him a hard time throughout their marriage. But, Hyun Woo’s mother is a saint and Hyun Woo is the exact copy of Jeon Bong Ae. She does not resent Sun Hwa and just asks for her to pray for Hyun Woo so that he can pull through the surgery and to be grateful once he regains consciousness. Another point worth mentioning here, the Queens family owes so much to Hyun Woo and I wanted to see them treating him better. But we never get the chance, because it seems like PJE loves to see him suffer and denying us the chances to see him being respected and doted on by the Queens family or even in the company. He was treated so badly in the family and within the Queens Group itself, but we never saw the difference after all his effort reinstating the Queens family back into their company. It just does not balance out.
Hae In did not move an inch from Hyun Woo’s bedside while waiting for him to regain consciousness. She regrets all her harsh words and treatment for him when she thought that he’s the bad guy due to YES manipulation. She tells him that now she understands why her heart’s ache the first time she sees him in prison and why she keeps making excuses just to see him. She might not love him yet but she will definitely fall in love with him again just how he found his love back towards her. And to think that we were robbed of the opportunities to see them falling in love slowly as she regains her memories and love. After seeing that Hyun Woo does not show any sign of consciousness, Hae In resorts to blackmail (lol). But of course that works on Hyun Woo. He wouldn’t want to see her falling sick and after the moments she told him that she felt dizzy, he just miraculously (decided) to wake up. The first word he utters… Hae In-ah with that weak voice, this parallelism is killing meeeee. Of course it’s Baek Hyun Woo’s signature to ask “gwaenchana?” when he was the one getting hit by a car and shot by a gun in the same night (not to forget braving through a thick snowy forest).
Hae In finally (officially) said sorry for failing to recognise him and couldn’t remember anything while only saying harsh things to him. Hyun Woo cuts her off and said that he also forgot about how much he wanted (desired) her in the past. He forgot his determination to stay by her side through thick and thin. He forgot all about his promises and only caused her pain. He said sorry and that he loves her. He reaches for her hand where she gladly takes it and brings it closer to her lips. He said thank you to her this time and his thank you means so many things; that she comes back to him, for accepting him, for being there for him and for remembering him. My favourite Baek Hyun Woo’s moves; cupping her face and caressing her cheek. Hingggg….. Finally, with only less than one hour left for this series to end, our couple is finally back together and their total screen time for this episode is around 15 minutes only HAHAHAHAHAAA
Scene: Fox Baek Hyun Woo
Where did you learn this behaviour Baek Hyun Woo? Well probably from old Hong Hae In. She was the one giving him the opportunity and advantage to use his foxy skill on the new Hae In. His database for having the foxy attitude includes that;
1) Hae In is VERY jealous of him always being the centre of attraction especially when he is being cute or showing his forearm muscle with rolled up sleeve or even just standing mindlessly while waiting for train.
2) Knowing that he was his first love and probably the only guy she has ever love and will be loved in her life.
3) They are THE couple with the greatest fate of all time.
4) Knowing that he was her most prized possession and the biggest waste to not have in her life.
5) She loves that he is handsome, kind, smart but not arrogant, cooks delicious stew and will always date him even if she’s reborn a hundred times.
6) He knows exactly his effects on her and how to use it.
7) He read her notebook and knew how much he is loved by her.
So, he has all these saved in his database and he is confident with her love for him even though she still doesn’t fully remember all about him. He was unsure of her love for him when he drafted the divorce settlement paper. He probably thinks that he was just a prized possession for her and he got all the qualities she needed in a husband. Hae In also did not express her love for him before their divorce so he had zero knowledge about how much she loved him. But, it’s different now. She started to express her honest feelings for him starting from their trip to Germany for her first treatment. And after that, both of them started to understand each other better. With newly found confidence in their love for each other, they become more expressive and playful.
The way he wrote back to her and purposely not putting the notebook back into her handbag, the way he flirts back to her “Yes, I’m looking at you” makes her speechless for a few seconds and the way he purposely wanted validation from her when she tells him that he is perfect and having all the traits that she loves. I wouldn’t survive a day as Baek Hyun Woo’s wife, I’ll just melt to the floor and evaporate into air. He looks at Hae In like she hung the star on the sky for him and she is the loveliest human being (can’t deny this) on earth.
Scene: This should’ve been done before episode 15
The Queen's family returned to Queens Group and we had a glimpse of our favourite couple’s office romance. Hae In and Hyun Woo resume their positions in the Queens department store. When they bump into each other during lunch time, instead of passing each other and only seeing their backs, they are finally able to greet each other excitedly. Hyun Woo greets her first and tells her and her team to enjoy their lunch. Hae In is acting as nonchalant as possible but we can see clearly that she is giddy and melting inside. Secretary Na is giving Hae In a false hope when she tells her that Hyun Woo had a reservation made at a restaurant famous for marriage proposals. She anticipates the dinner and expects Hyun Woo to call but he didn’t call her, so she calls him. But the reservation was for his legal team dinner and she is disappointed and sulky at the revelation.
She went back home alone and decided to go into Hyun Woo’s bedroom. She stands at the same place Hyun Woo stands in episode 4 and looks around his room. She saw a glow in the dark smiley star on the ceiling and thought that he was too old for that kind of stuff, until… a memory flashes in her mind. She is brought to the day that she decided to get rid of everything inside the room. We saw her conflicted and sad expression while the workers were cleaning the room. She confronted Hyun Woo after she found out that Hyun Woo moves his stuff from their bedroom to their (empty) baby’s room.
They both are sad for the loss of their baby and instead of talking about it and mourning it together, they decided to make a decision based on their current emotional capacity. Our sweet and fragile Hae In with a deep emotional scar from her past trauma, she couldn’t bear the thought of having a room full of baby stuff without anyone to occupy it. She is haunted by her own insecurities and inability to carry a child and birthed it. I need to mention here that she is on medical leave for the miscarriage while Hyun Woo is at work (and obviously distraught) and being alone in this situation will make you overthink and postpartum depression is a bitch. But, she didn’t want to talk about it to anyone. She even shuts Hyun Woo and he was unable to penetrate her shield. Hae In’s sadness and mourning was very complex to be understood, because she bottled up her feelings so often that she herself starts to believe that she is a cold-blooded person unworthy of emotions. So, she hides her feelings and put on a mask to deceive others.
Hyun Woo, our sweet and sensitive Hyun Woo on the other hand wears his emotion on his sleeves. He needed more time to cherish the brief moment of their baby through the room, and for him it seems like Hae In was trying to erase everything about their unborn child by clearing out the nursery. And she did that while he was at work, without discussing it with him. The moment he came home, he saw all the stuff from the nursery was being removed. So, he asked her (flashback from episode 5) while containing his anger and sadness about her decision to clean out the room. But she responded with a defensive and cold tone void of all emotion “It only gets on my nerves (could also be translated as annoying).” He was hurt deeply by her choice of words that were associated with their loss; annoying and useless, like the baby was just an object of purpose and not the fruit of their love. He retreated from her as he realised that she had more important things to attend to; her work, believing that he cannot talk sense into her and the damage has been done anyway. He couldn’t see that she was just better than him at hiding her emotion. Deep down, he knew that her harsh words are not what she intended but maybe he is tired of trying to understand her while her words cut deeper than any wounds at that moment.
She confronted him when she found out he moved his stuff into the nursery. She’s hurt that Hyun Woo moved his stuff without telling her first but he gets back at her by using the same logic, she also made the decision to empty the nursery without telling him. But, Hong Hae In… she was raised in a twisted and toxic household so she heard it as something entirely different, she accused him of something that only her mother would do; blaming her for the miscarriage. Hyun Woo didn’t even spare a breath to deny her accusation while in confusion of her thought process. Before he even finished his sentences, she cut him off with a more venomous assumption, “I know you want to say that it’s my fault!”. Hyun Woo was rendered speechless at this and he sigh unbelievably at that. For, she accuses him of something he never even thought of and for her loss of faith towards him to paint him as something as low as that. And, he walks away again this time because he knows that she will believe nothing no matter what he says. She won’t listen and he stopped trying. They both shut off the other because it is easier for Hyun Woo to mourn freely and for Hae In to think that it is her punishment for failing to keep the baby.
In a way, Hyun Woo was making that decision so that he could cry freely. Hae In wouldn’t know the tears he shed every night missing someone he never met. Even his cry on the first night in the nursery was hushed and suppressed. He doesn't want her to heard his cries despite being in different room. That was his consideration for his wife who was mourning in silence. His whole body was shaking to contain his sorrow and pain.
My imagination just ran wild thinking of the possibility that had they lived in Hyun Woo’s small apartment after marriage. Maybe they will have no choice but to solve their issue faster, they can’t go anywhere in that small space. Even if Hyun Woo went out to clear out his head, he will have to come home and share the same bed with Hae In, maybe realising sooner that she had always waited for him to come home before going to bed. She will know how much he cried at night for the child they lost, he would be able to hug her when he realised that all the harsh words she chose was to protect herself.
I’m just furious and frustrated that; 1) they had to mention about their loss at the last 15 minutes of the last episode of the drama, 2) they talk about it after she loses her memory. Even then, it was too short! It’s like they thought of it at the last minute (but this drama is pre-produced) and goes "Shit! We forgot to give a closure for the reason they fell apart and why this drama begins. Let me just put this here.... there, done!"????¿¿¿. She remembered it as a fragment of her memories not as a whole thing that she experienced. Yes, she felt sad and devastated when she remembered it but the main point of it is that she is just a visitor of the memory and all the feelings from that time were not the same as what she felt when she remembered the moment. So, we did not get a proper closure from both of them because one of them is not present at that moment. Baby 1031 was used as a bridge for Hyun Woo and Hae In to finally take a step forward and move towards marriage in mind (again). If this conversation happened before Hae In lost her memory, we would get a full closure on how the miscarriage had affected them and both of them acknowledge that they both are using the baby’s due date for their password. Their apology would’ve been heartfelt and their journey for their rediscovery of love would feel complete.
Although I agree with Hae In that the reason they fell apart was not because of the miscarriage, but it was definitely what was shaping their relationship early in the marriage. Based on the due date, the incident probably happened just around the time they reach their first year anniversary. So, the remaining two years was the aftermath of their altercation about the nursery and their baby 1031. They probably had not always been rocky throughout the year, but the fact that they are still using separate bedrooms says much more than necessary. It’s true that they did not fall apart solely because of the miscarriage, but largely due to their ego and failure to talk and mend their broken heart and pain when it happens. They let it fester and avoiding the problem because resenting each other was easier than lowering their ego to knock on their doors. But still… For me it feels like there was no closure about baby 1031, I don’t know how to describe it but I just need them to acknowledge their loss of baby together. Because they both mourn on their own and then they never talk about it again, it pains me when I remembered the way Hae In treated their planned pregnancy by her parents in episode 1. She treated their baby as a necessity (I know she didn’t mean that), but I needed to hear that from her about baby 1031. That baby was not because of necessity, that baby was conceived out of love from both of them. And for the writer to not have the decency to at least let them talk about it when Hae In had a full understanding about it was what infuriates me the most.
Summary:
The bittersweet ending of the series will be much more appreciated if the execution of the last two episodes focuses more on the BaekHong couple’s development. Instead, they decided that they want to make the last two episodes in an overdramatic funfair that match makjang drama set up. Unless Baek Hyun Woo died in the last episode then only it will make sense to make the guy being hit by a car and shot by a gun. But, in the end he lives and no one is expecting him to die at the end also. So? All of it was very superficial in order to keep the viewer’s engagement in the plot twists.
#queen of tears#baekhong#rewatching#kdrama#hong hae in#baek hyun woo#kim soo hyun#kim ji won#its the end of the series#finally im done#who even read this long ass post#word vomit#rant rant rant#there will never be a character that can match baek hyun woo#this couple will forever live rent free#i ship soowon for lyfe#swoon for soowon#in a kdrama drought#i did this to move on from them#but im still halfway stuck in their world#maybe i don't want a way out
11 notes
·
View notes
Photo
I hope you blink before I do (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#DAX#Blood#Fuck you *reinjects romance into your song about love-lost*#It's the ''I want to be the one to lay you to rest'' of it all#Or if not that then at least to be the last one suffering#See him off - make sure he goes knowing that he's not alone#I'm Fine just Don't Look at me and I'll Be Fine#Schrödinger's Fine lol - I am simultaneously Fine and Not Fine until I am observed#I simply subsist largely off of angst and then whatever small scrap of comfort that can be coaxed from there hehe#I am very mean to them considering how much I want them to be happy lol#Honestly I think what would be meaner is seeing ZEX off and then somehow DAX survives alone#Night ends just as he's about to blink out and oops you're still stuck here sorry about that <3#But I wouldn't do that to them would I?#:3c#I also think it's interesting that I started doodling this before I actually read ZEX's death - I finished it after but still!#Does he just give off gutted vibes? Canonically he's eviscerated so#And not just in the eye way - in this case it's enucleation#Did you come here for eye removal surgery puns? I don't see why you'd expect anything different *b'dm tss*#I've done way more research on eye removal than I ever expected to but now those two terms will be forever seared into my mind haha#Hhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I'll talk about it more with its accompanying doodle but really 💔#I wanted an honourable death for him - and if not that then a death where he wasn't alone - and if not that then to rest#He got one of the three ;;
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
whenever im writing anything i always struggle with like. making sure im not holding the audiences hand and explaining every single little detail to them, and actually trust them to Understand what im saying. but I know that I do this because I am a dumdum who misses details and often needs shit explained to me, and also worries about not being clear enough, but like,,,,, most people are Better at that then I am and I need to trust them,,,
#this is a problem i will suffer with in writing and real life forever and ever and ever an#im not good with. things. fucking. im very aware of this and it frustrates me ive always been like this#where its like. i feel like im standing up to my knees in a shallow pool#except everyone else is somehow swimming deep below me#but i just cannot fuckung swim down there no matter how hard I try#and someone has to drag me down there with them for me to Get It At All#i dont know. im trying to write again. ive been busy and tired and I want to write I miss it I just don't know what To write#ive been cleaning up an old fic that's like 80% complete and id like to post that at some point but. no promises lmao#im tired and i wasted my free day by doomscrolling tumblr instead of studying for my final tomorrow#ive also just been in a weird funk the past few days. i know exactly why its my own damn fault but ugh#i am stagnant and stuck going in circles and circles and circles and circles and there is a bitter taste in my mouth and im losing my mind#noooooooooot like other girlls im socially inept to a deeply concerning degree teeheee mmmmmmmmmm#im not gonna vent here rn#bleugh#lilac post
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the length of the Junkonalysis just increased again
#crane-talk#I wanted to talk more about the brainwashing. Sue me#idk I have a lot of problems with the choices they made in dr3 but the brainwashing funny enough has never been one of them#maybe like briefly but tbh it's the most coherent part of the anime#and I don't think it'd be hated on as much if it weren't stuck in. ya know. the anime#I am team 'it should've been a game' always and forever it's not like games with shifting povs don't exist in the world#plus actually having some level of first person agency would've elevated it A LOT#and other things but actually complaining about the anime is just draining so that is all I will say goodbye
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
having a rejects doc is great because I can delete and redo whole scenes without losing anything. and also because I can keep pet paragraphs like this one until I find a scene willing to adopt them
#hm i should make an original writing tag#this is not from the sex pollen fic btw. it's from jamoga au#they were having a sleepover and maul had a bad dream <3#yes this post is just because i want to share this bit before it's locked away for possibly forever in the rejects doc#but also having a rejects doc is legitimately good for your writing. if there's one writing advice i can give it's keep a rejects doc#you don't have to save every little paragraph you delete but like. the bigger ones. the ones you spent more time writing.#and especially the ones that feel like they're the reason you got stuck#cut them out and try again without/before them. see if that solves it. and if it doesn't you can put them back if you want.#or cut more and try again from another point until something does work#it's what i'm doing with this scene#it has some really got bits but it's just not working. i need them to do something else#i can recycle some of the good points‚ but the scene itself? to the rejects with ye‚ foul ambiance
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh
#everhoneignore this post classic rant post i don't have real problems everyone can move along#truly have had such a bad couple of days here and i am not even close to finishing the assignments i need to finish in welding being in#clsss makes me want to quit and die i don't know why i'm so slow i don't know why everyone else can intuit this stuff and improve and#understand how to do it and im always always falling behind if i could try harder wouldn't i be able to do that ive got no drive to push#myself at all i guess i like the english and i can do the physics i thought i at least liked drafting and metals fabrication but i feel so#stupid everything i do makes me feel so stupid and my teacher talks to me like i'm always doing everything wrong when i do some classroom#ettiquette breaches that everyone else does too and i can't get myself to go to sleep on time can't get myself to go in early i have hours#and hours and hours and i blink and it's gone and i've done nothing i should've welded today and gone in early to draft but i didn't because#im stupid and im slow and i can't do anything right i have always been able to square away a little bit of pride on being precise on doing#things well because people are always telling me that i am but i am below average here i just can't do things right and i feel like everyone#hates me and thinks i'm obnoxious and i don't know how to interface with my class or my teacher or how to improve or how to be less anxious#and i feel even stupider for that because i am so stuck up not being able to deal with even a little bit of failure or issue or hardship#and everyone around me is sick all my classmates and people in my dorm are sick im sure it's covid they haven't said it's covid but none of#them would test and i've been wearing a mask again but im certainly been exposed to it already and no one else is wearing a mask anyway so#what difference does it even make and i can hear them coughing in my dorm and in the classroom and when i go to get food and i miss seeing#my friends from philly and everuthing will be terrible forever and ever#alex talks
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
today i met tiny chris
poor wean's da got et by a 'bon. now he wants 'em all dead. wiv' crossy eyes like them as drawed in the picture shows. dinnae get et and ye might be his new da.
he actually made me think about two things - the npcs/people we've helped along the way, and the writing of accents.
it's no secret i gave biff this accent - it tells you he ain't a city slicker but rather a rural boy, it tells you his folks ain't got a lotta money (at least, one would think), and it associates him with a specific cultural/ethnic profile (gaelic, i know/studied a little more about irish than scots so i lean irish)
i think we should, as a society, be wary of continuing to associate class with specific ethnic communities, but i'm not learned enough to make a post dedicated to my specific thoughts on that (yet? tbd)
mostly, i think it's important to look at the way characters speak as a vehicle of writing. when you write a character's accent, is it useful for what you're trying to establish in the scene? is the noble supposed to fail to understand the vernacular of his server? is it useful if the character is always going to say "dinnae" instead of "do not"? when dealing with non-western characters with accents, how far is it okay to go until the dialogue goes from representation to racist charicature?
writers have the power of flexibility. writing is about persuasion more than anything else, and we should remember to persuade our audiences that these are people. they aren't real, so don't bother with "realistic" - but they represent real ideas, concepts and associations in our world. it's important to be careful what you do with these, intended or not! and if you make an oopsie? acknowledge, accept and continue on your journey to being your best.
my preferences for writing accents based on my experiences, observations and education lean thus:
pick and choose what words require emphasis. if the whole sentence requires it, then so be it! but make conscious choices. words weigh differently, and they carry double the weight when they're written out to represent an accent. just really think about whether or not this is the point you want to say to, t', ta, or tae. the whole sentence doesn't need to be written out phonetically b/c avoiding doing that helps us steer clear of reiterating caricatures.
include culturally specific verbiage. "what's the craic" or "how's it hangin'" depending on who your character is. in india, lots of people greet each other with religious phrases (in english, it'd sound like saying "god is good"/"good is god" call and response) - so a thavnairian character could say anything between "sisters be with you" to "mindhurva guide your path today" (and also yours, brother/sister). but also: wain, wean, child, sweetling,
be careful which non-english words your character uses. i don't call it chai tea latte, i call it chai latte. my wife doesn't call it green tea latte, but matcha latte. i actually don't drink chai latte, i drink chai. but i call it both chai and tea interchangeably; so, when i want someone to know how to prepare my tea, i might ask for chai instead of tea. because with chai, you get half or whole base milk instead of water. you get dried ginger or an array of spices depending on the auntie. with tea, you get dried up leaves and some hot water. big difference for me.
above all, make sure it's legible most of the time. you can do this by avoiding writing a character's accent out completely phonetically. this isn't to say "conform your character to what people think they should talk like". this is about being aware that writing implies an audience. if you want your writing to connect with people, the important parts should be clearly communicated in the text. especially if you're writing in english. if i wanted my characters to speak hindi, why would i bother writing the story in english at all? you want people to see your character a specific way. write them the way you hope they'll be seen--if you've done a good enough job, it will lead to so much joy and satisfaction. if you haven't--it's back to the drawing board! but you get the chance to learn even more.
#ooc;;#screenshots;;#i've been wanting to say something forever#in reality though i want to include an ep about tiny chris in my ongoing fic#so i was looking at him and his FATES and i was then compelled to go back to other lower level areas and be like#where are the other little guys we helped? i love them#i don't really care if the time bubble keeps them in our halcyon days as a sprout#i want to learn who they are again and again and love on them#and imagine what happens to them as our stories grow side by side#i think i'll be stuck in ARR for a long time so sorry about that#but i think it will be worth it for the kind of story i want to tell anyway#ps this is probably going to be outdated advice someday so pls remember that even im doing my best LOL#i'm just tired of being quiet... i'm going to do me and not worry about fitting in...#it took me awhile to remember that my position culturally means i'll always be a disruptive presence to the status quo#so it's better for my health to stop hoping i'll fit in somewhere and just try to relax
6 notes
·
View notes