#and i do say things. she doesn't fucking care about me as a person.

[svetamillss]

Headcanons: Jeon Jae Joon is in love with you🖤

Featuring: Jeon Jae Joon x Reader(f)

Warnings: Bullying, yandere guy

A/N: I'm sorry that I'm not publishing a work on SG. I just wanted to diversify my blog somehow. If you like this job, I will be happy!

🖤🖤🖤

School years

• It all started after Dong Eun dropped out of school. Yeon Jin immediately found a new victim. And it was you. She also mocked you with her company. Jae Joon was always on the sidelines and laughed at the way his girlfriend humiliated you. But everything will change in the future.

• Once you saw how the guy beat his classmate again because he insulted his eyes and laughed at color blindness. You even felt sorry for Joon, despite the fact that he was your bully. You decided to come up and support him. You waited until he was left alone and quietly approached.

- Jae Joon..

- Fuck! What do you need, bitch?

• He screamed and very loudly, you were scared, but you continued anyway.

- I wanted to say..don't pay attention to what people say. I mean..that there is nothing wrong that you are different from others..you have beautiful eyes and your color blindness is just your feature, you don't need to listen to insults about it, they don't understand anything and it's low to condemn a person for the fact that he didn't even choose at birth.

• After your words, you quickly ran away, leaving the guy alone. He just looked after you, processing the words you told him.

• He realized that you were the only person who told him such a thing. With this act, you changed his attitude towards you. But don't think it means that you're saved, it means you have your guardian demon. After all, he was very interested in you and he looked at you differently.

• The next day, he told Yeon Jin and the others to leave you alone and threatened that if they did something to you, he would kill them.

• He didn't beat or touch you, he didn't use physical violence against you, only moral violence. He could humiliate you with his words, and then laugh at your reaction.

• He forbids everyone to touch you, and if someone offends you, Joon will beat that man until he barely breathes, lying in a pool of his blood.

• You are only his. No one dares to look at you anymore.

• His friends didn't understand his behavior, especially Jin, as he began to cool off to her.

• He had one answer to all the questions: "FUCK YOU!"

• He watched your every step. He watched from afar as you walked home from school or from some store, he was always next to you, but you didn't suspect it.

• He scared all your gentlemen to such an extent that many were afraid to just approach you.

• He doesn't want you to understand that it's his business, so he tries by all means to hide his guilt.

Adult life

• He didn't leave you alone, he also kept you close to him.

• He arranged you in his store and ordered you to fulfill his requests, but you were not like Son Myeong Oh, he treated you more carefully and did not ask you to do something difficult.

• He made that you had nowhere to live, and then offered you to stay with him. He wants you to always be there for him.

- Why do you want me to move in with you? I'm just your classmate, we're not even friends.

- You shouldn't care about it. If you don't want to live in a dump, then agree to my offer.

• He knew you would agree. He knows how to manipulate you.

• When everyone found out that you lived with him, they were in complete shock, especially Yeon Jin

- Why are you to take care of her?! Did you fall in love with her??? Did you trade this me for this worthless bitch?!?!

- Don't you dare call her that. It's none of your business what I feel for her, leave us alone.

• He also secretly spoils your dates with other men. He can't let you leave him.

• He continues to follow you and will always do so. After all, you are only him.

• Joon realized a long time ago that he was in love with you, but he believes that this is how you need to show your love.

• He will probably never admit your feelings to you, because Joon knows that you will refuse, so he will enjoy you at a distance.

🖤🖤🖤

[binomech]

Free Devon 2025 remains tragically relevant

Helly's isolation after coming back is hitting some personal rough spots and the weight it's being given as an act of cruelty towards her is flooring me. She doesn't know she was raped. She doesn't know Helena raped Mark S. The way it doesn't even quite hit for Mark S. until Milchick corners him in the elevator over it before sending him up mid-panic attack...

Mr. Milchick, don't turn to reactionary violence against your comrades when the cognitive dissonance hits you're so sexy aha (but for real. Natalie's silence, Ms. Huang's needling, all of it was just... punch up, dude. Punch up and get the fuck out. You can't reform eugenics inc.)

Dylan's speech for Irving coming in with the vibes:

I loved my friend. He went away from me. There's nothing more to say. The poem ends, soft as it began: I loved my friend.

Like Mark's private eulogy for Gemma in season 1, like Ms. Casey returning it at the end of this episode, like Dylan's speech, like Irving Bailiff pressing his hand against his paintings like Mark did against the tree that took Gemma: I loved this person, and now they're gone. They were picky and they were strange, wonderful people and the tangling of our lives changed us forever in ways we could not predict. I love you. I miss you. I carry you in who I am after you.

I've been dreading a string-of-fate plotline for outie Irving and Burt and this reveal has been possibly the most meaningful thing to me. It was a kindness that warmed me whole. I think the us down there might have loved each other, mine got sacked a few weeks ago over it, mine got fired as well, (they're dead, we made them and we hoped they'd be happier than us, and now they're dead), come by my place, have dinner with me and my husband. You don't have to do this alone. You are a stranger but I am choosing, deliberately, to offer you a community to lean on. We cared about those versions of us we never even met. They loved each other. They deserve this attempt at connection.

Irving B., even while literally erased from physical record in the office down to the desk and the photos, leaves a message for Dylan, beating himself up for letting the company kill him, for not listening, for not helping. You wanted me to live until I figured out exports, and I got myself killed before that, and I'm sorry. But you can still do this, you still have a place in this office and in the world. You stayed behind. You always do. You can find a way out for all of us.

Mollified by that last shot of Mark. I've mentioned the list of lovable idiosyncrasies as presented by outie facts but it really hit me that... we just don't know who Mark was before the grief for Gemma ate him away. Your outie is going to heal, as he falls apart at the sight of her.

[taleya15]

"Just friends"

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring *

"Nothing. Again. Great." Mike sighed against the wall of his basement. He hates when Joyce is working, which is constantly now. He rings up Dustin to complain. Because Lucas is at basketball practice like always. So Dustin is all Mike has now. It's weird because Will used to be the person Mike would go to so he can complain and rant to. Now Will's mom is the reason he complains. Dustin is quick to answer like always, and for a moment Mike feels grateful.

"No answer?"

"Nope. Nothing. I'll try again in an hour, but for now! What the actual fuck dude! I hate Joyce's job! It's so stupid that I basically have to schedule a meeting with my best friend!"

"I know. I know man. I'm sorry."

Mike sighs out but doesn't say anything for a moment.

"Thanks for trying though man."

"Of course man. But hey listen I gotta go, my mom's calling me up. She wants a new cat."

"Oh. Haha have fun."

"I won't. See ya man."

"See ya!" With the sound of the hanging up beep, Mike sighs again and walks to the couch. He plops down dramatically and starts thinking. He hates this so much. All he wants to do is at least talk to Will. The only thing that can calm him down in a bad mood is Will. El helps when she can, but Will is the only one who can fix it completely.

He hates that too. He hates that the only person who can calm him down is the person he can never reach. He hates that he can't go to his girlfriend about this. She could only understand and help so much. But Will.. he understands everything Mike says. Sometimes Mike wishes Will was a girl. Then maybe it'd be easier, but he loves El. At least he thinks he does anyway. Eventually he realizes the time and realizes the full hour has passed. An hour of self loathing and anxiety. Great another one.

Mike gets up again and goes to the phone. He almost doesn't pick it up. He almost just leaves it alone and goes to sulk for the night. It wouldn’t be the first time. But something in him tells him to try again. Maybe it's his stubbornness, or his desire to talk to Will that does it. But he picks the phone up anyway and while he puts the number in he gets a weird rush of Deja Vu. But he pushes on and listens to ring of the phone. It's five rings later and he almost hangs up. But then there’s a different sound, a pause then the sound of the phones connecting.

"Hello, Byers residents. Joyce speaking."

"Oh! Joyce hey!"

"Mike? Oh hi hun! Haven't heard from you in a while! What's going on? How's school going?"

"Uh. Yeah school's great thanks."

"Right! Silly me! You're calling for Will aren't you?"

"Haha yes ma'am I am. Is he there?"

"Yes! I'll put him on now!"

There's a muffled sound of Joyce's voice then there's something different that happens.

"Uh hello?" Will answers the phone seemingly confused. His voice seems deeper, like three octaves deeper. It surprises Mike for a moment, but he pushes past his initial thoughts and speaks to him. Finally.

"Will!"

"Mike! Hey man! How- how are you? I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Yeah. Yeah I know sorry man." I tried calling you, like every day. But that sentence dies in his throat. He wouldn't dare say that out loud. He'll sound like a wimp.

"That-that's ok! How's it going?"

"Um. It- it's fine thanks. How um how is it for you?"

“... good. Are you sure you're ok? You can tell me." Great. He saw right through it like aways.

"I- I just honestly had a terrible day today." He sighs uncomfortably he really doesn't want to elaborate. But he knows he has to.

"Oh I'm sorry what happened?" Mike sighs again and thinks of something to say. He can't say the real reason why. He can barely admit to himself the real reason.

"Oh. Um I got a bad grade on my exam today." That actually was true, he did get a really bad grade on an exam today in math. But he honestly didn't care about that. He couldn't care less about it, but it was the only thing he could think to say.

"Oh man! I'm sorry I understand, is there anything I can do to help you?"

"I- I don't know right now."

"Well I can distract you."

"That sounds great actually."

For the next ten minutes Will talks about anything that he can think of. Mike mostly listens, but he loves the conversation. He feels at ease for the first time all day. And for a moment, a single moment he wishes he could tell Will what he's desperately wanting to tell him. He's dying to confess to him, to say 'Will, I'm so desperately in love with you. I wish I could be with you, I don't care about El. She's nothing to me, because I can't have you.’ But instead he just listens and reminds himself that they're "just friends". And Mike would never dare ask Will his feelings either.

Because he's convinced that Will's straight, but is he?

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

This Defense Of Stolas Is Just So Laughable

Critical Crusher Bot, the anti anti helluva boss fan, is at it again with his braindead two cents on how to defend Stolas and it's a doozy. The main points that Stolas is getting back his autotomy, male abuse victims should be taken seriously, he's a victim not a villain, lack of nuance, bashing so-called gotcha culture, trying to invoke there is no moral correctness, and that it's a survival story, and he owes Stella nothing for cheating on her.

First thing first is that the autonomy thing is bs and hypocritical when Stolas himself violates Blitzo's autonomy by forcing him into the full moon agreement and sexually abusing. Seriously, this series and his defenders wants you to think Stolas is a brave victim of abuse standing up for himself against his abuser, while trapping a lower class demon into a sexually exploitative relationship. That's pure tone deaf bs. He's not a victim he's an even worse abuser than Stella because unlike him she never sexually abused him and most of all she didn't try to make herself out as the victim when called out for her actions. And none of this pos fans actually took Blitzo as an abuse victim seriously and brushed it off as he could have just said no at any time, but we know that Stolas had all the power but they don't want to admit it.

Also yes Stolas was the villain because you don't sexually exploit someone and expect to be seen as the bad guy. The only reason why he's seen as the "good guy" is because the narrative wants to. And that goes into the bs of nuance and no moral correctness. Because there is no nuance, because it refuses to see things through Stella's way and just make Stolas the pure woobie abused by her while she's demonized as the most evil thing ever. Also that no moral correctness is also bs because that's a cop out to say we don't want to think about how what a pos Stolas can be and people have a right to call him out. Just because someone is designated a victim doesn't mean they are absolved of horrible things they do especially if they are an abuser themself.

Also this ain't no survival story. Stolas always had the power to leave he just did out of some misguided savior complex to give his daughter proper family when in reality she was exposing her to a toxic environment that could go off at any time. He could have left it years ago and have nothing to do with her. But again this pos just put all of this on himself because he's a sucker for punishment. Calling Stolas a survival story is an insult to real survivors of abuse who had all the stacks against them and little support. Also Stolas destroyed that family life out of selfishness and now wants to look like the victim for destroying his daughter's life while his defenders overlook that.

And that's the other part, these people say we are looking for gotchas, but that's it we are looking at the fact that Stolas is presented as something in narrative when in execution he comes off as something else. He comes across as a horrible person uses every excuse he can to absolve himself of any wrongdoing to the point that even when you point out the hypocrisy people will pull up another one. That's the real gotcha which is nothing is ever his fault and you should feel shame for bringing it up.

Also just because you feel he has no obligation to his wife he does have an obligation to his daughter and he destroyed it completely by cheating on her mother. And don't use the abuse card, because he as said before could have just divorced her easily but instead became a cheating prick who sexually abused a lower class demon to feel any sort of happiness. He even multiple times chose being with Blitzo with her three times. You can't even tell me that he cares about Octavia and then says he doesn't owe anything to Stella. He really at heart is just a selfish pos who only cares about what he wants and no one else not even the person he says he loves. Because when he's around Blitzo all he does is take from him rather than give. It's a parasitic relationship that's deceptively depicted as a healing, complex relationship when in reality it's toxic as hell, but the narrative and fandom don't want to admit it. If they actually can't state the obvious morals about Stolas their support for this show crumbles and they have to question what this series actually stands for by condoning such a depiscable character.

[pynkhues]

I keep seeing posts about Louis being a very incurious person/vampire and I wanted to know if you agreed on that but more so where that comes from? Is it a that’s none of my business thing or a I really don’t care thing. Maybe it’s something else entirely. I feel like there’s a touch of Gabrielle in that… am I reaching?

Oh, I really disagree that Gabrielle's incurious, anon. I think she's one of the most curious vampires in the series, and if anything, I'd say that I personally feel the show's made Claudia a more curious vampire and a natural explorer to parallel her to Gabrielle, not Louis.

As for Louis being incurious - - I've seen a lot of those posts too (some of them are really funny!), and I think they're kind of true, but also not really? I think Louis' incredibly intelligent, and I think he actually has a pretty insatiable curiosity in certain respects. He reads a lot, and he reads broadly - from Charles Darwin to Edward Carpenter to Gustave Flaubert, Colette to - as eagle eyed fans noticed in the BTS shots - Simone de Beauvoir, and has obviously a specific interest in art, and I don't think you read that widely or engage with art that deeply if you're not a fundamentally curious person.

I think from a fandom standpoint that the theory comes from Louis never sharing Claudia's hunger to know about the vampire world, and his resistance to learning more about them in Europe, as well as Louis seeming to not have asked Lestat all that much (which I actually disagree with - he clearly asks Lestat a lot of questions throughout 1.02, and both scenes where Claudia asks Lestat who turned him I think imply that Louis had asked and been similarly shut down before) - but I don't know if I'd necessarily describe that as a lack of curiosity so much as a symptom of Louis' initial denial of his vampirism, and then his rejection of vampire society.

Louis doesn't see himself in other vampires. He denies his vampiric needs in Rue Royale, pretty clearly has an issue with the fact that Claudia takes after Lestat when it comes to both her efficacy as a hunter, and her embrace of her vampirism. He certainly doesn't identify with the 'Catfish-with-Teeth' that they find in Romania, and he pretty much hates the Coven, from the work they do, to the way they hunt, to the individuals within it. I think he feels detached / alienated from vampire society, and by the end of s2, I think he likes it that way. I talked about it a bit in my Byronic Hero post, but it's very common with this sort of character archetype to live either in exile, or in a self-exile, and Louis' both - he's cut out from the human society he wants to be a part of in New Orleans, and he chooses to remove himself from vampiric society in Paris.

And to me, that's what sits at the root of Louis' curiosity.

I think that he has an enormous amount of curiosity around the human society that cut him out - again, he's reading Darwin, Carpenter, de Beauvoir, he enjoys the human opera with Lestat, is following people around Paris trying to photograph them, engaging deeply with human art, taking fascinating human boys to fuck and eat in San Francisco - and a fundamental lack of curiosity in vampire society - he never really follows up with Lestat about vampires, is disinterested in Claudia's research, tries to pull the pin on their trip, doesn't want to engage with the Coven, hates the vampiric theatre, hates his own photographs of the vampires, finds Armand boring! The world's softest, beigest pillow!

Louis' fascinated by humanity and bored by vampires, and I do think that's partially a reflection of how Louis' internalised his' feelings about being rejected by one, and rejecting the other, just like I think his capitalist climb has been about gaining social power in a society that tried to disempower him. So yeah! I think he's curious, he just doesn't care about vampires, haha.

[cantfightmoonlight]

"Um actually," She muttered under her breath, as she snuck a peek Aaliyah's way, not bothering to actually point out how saying 'that doesn't exactly sound like you care' is opinion and not a fact though. Not after she was called a fucking nerd in a nearly endearing sort of way. The corner of her lips tilted up ever so slightly at the sentiment. Though any semblance of a smile fell just as quickly as it appeared when Aaliyah carried on. "No, I don't know you, just as you don't know a thing about me. Though, your whole don't give a shit routine, doesn't exactly make me want to?" She countered. Her gaze moved back to fixating on the crowd out on the dance floor as she admitted quietly, "I have enough people in life who may or may not be genuine. I'm not really up for having to decipher another one. Just as an FYI."

"That's bullshit!" She scoffed under her breath as her gaze snapped back toward Aaliyah's. "I had already stopped and if you truly cared about making sure the starving vampire controlled herself then why not tell the one person antagonizing said vampire to shut up? I wasn't going to bite Frankie. Not after Poppy had stepped in. I might have shoved Jake, but you can't tell me he wouldn't have deserved it and, last I checked, pushing someone over isn't against any accords," She huffed. "So the coven advisor's sister gets special treatment? The witches are nepotists, is that it?" She could feel the anger rising in the back of her throat at the hypocrisy of the situation, but when Aaliyah said 'He was acting out of fear' any bite to her words were replaced by blatant distain. "Fear? The six foot white boy whose built like a linebacker and can fucking electrocute people with his bare hands was acting out of fear over what? A teary-eyed 5'6 brunette decked head to toe in pink?" She asked, as if clarify, despite knowing the hypocrisy of the situation all too well at this point. "The witches are the ones who created us, weren't they? That's what it says at the Historical Society. A coven sought power and immortality, so they invented a whole other species. It was witch magic that trapped us in the Emerald Hotel and the Rec Center, wasn't it? And it was witch magic behind pretty much every hellscape the Catalyst put us through over the past two years and, yet, we're the ones to be afraid of?" She lifted a brow up at Aaliyah as she found her jaw tightening even more in resignation. "Because we have fangs, we have to suck it up and wait to get back at them strategically, because we're the ones who have to prove we're not a threat? Okay."

"You know when I came back from the dead, a witch called me a murderer," Her voice dipped into a low murmur as her gaze fell once more. "They told me I was living a life that belonged to another, and, yet, when the pretty blonde supreme died, the entire coven voted to kill someone on her behalf. She was the leader. They 'needed' her, while I was a different story. And you wonder why I don't see a point in a caring anymore. We're always going be the monsters and, the more we treat ourselves differently from the humans and the witches and the fae and the wolves who can't control themselves either, the more we're all going to believe it too."

"I... I'm sorry your sire was a piece of shit. Truly. I can't imagine what that was like. But, my sire murdered me and the left me on my own. So, let me ask you something, from someone whose been trying to figure it out by myself- do you honestly think that your advice would suck more than the trial and error I've already been enduring?" She asked her genuinely, because if getting help was truly worse than wasn't this all futile anyway?

"Are you for real right now?" Her expression twisted into a look of horror as Aaliyah actually laughed before her. "Or maybe you really are a monster," She shook her head in disbelief. "Humans aren't weak and I would never dare act like they are and, if you ever have, then you are the weak one for needing to make someone feel small so that you can feel tall. He doesn't need anything from me. But, we protect each other, because that is what a partnership and love is. I didn't think I'd have to tell you that and I'm not fighting anyone's battles for them. I'm defending the man I love and I know he'd defend me too if someone called me a name to his fucking face and, if you do it again, then we will have nothing else to say to one another." And she meant it. While, she was willing to accept that Aaliyah and her might never see eye to eye on certain issues, if the woman before her truly believed that humans were inferior, then she was no better than any other prejudice asshole in this town who considered vampires to be freaks.

"We can agree to disagree. Death is a part of life. We all experience it eventually. But, those skulls in the wall are sad because no one cared about them enough to give them their own resting place and you're really not helping your case right now when that roommate of mine is a vampire and a clan member who likely needs your help even more than I do," She pointed out. "It's a movie." Though now that she thought about it, Aaliyah might be more similar to Lord Farquaad than Shrek, though she wouldn't say that part outloud on the off chance the woman actually googled it.

"I didn't plan the party," She muttered under her breath. "And the word people is plural, implying that there is more than one. One would be a person and, yes, I know I'm a fucking nerd. Though, I'm sorry you what? If you wanted me to step out of the booth you could have just asked. It wasn't as if I was going to carry on this long of a conversation through a screen door anyhow and I didn't ask for any of this. I wanted a small funeral themed birthday party between me and two of my friends two years ago in celebration of my new life and as a fuck you to the exe who killed me. Only they forgot until now when I was surprised with this and... if you mean it when it comes to helping me, then... I'll try it. I'm not saying I won't complain, but I'm not against hard work. Though, if it doesn't work, I'm allowed to walk away and I mean it when I say no more insulting Ben in front of me. Trying to piss me off, isn't tough love. It's being a dick and I'm not going to put up with that kind of shit."

"I told her while she was sunbathing at the country club that she wasn't a meal on display," Aaliyah said, raising an eyebrow. "I might have also mentioned that to both of you, but, really, I'm not going to spill species secrets around just anyone. That's how I was taught. Was it wrong? Probably." She laughed quietly before rectifying it. "Absolutely." She sighed. "Okay, smart ass. Keep 'um, actually'-ing me, you fucking nerd." She wasn't attempting biting, and she hardly found herself to be defensive. It was mildly amusing, and there was something close to pity, but Aaliyah made it a habit not to really pity anyone. A product of her upbringing, both living and unliving. "Again, you don't know me, Brielle. Very few do, I get that. I go for that. But you can't just state hard facts about me, like who or what I care about, without actually knowing me." She took the clan position because maybe, just maybe, she cared too much. Aaliyah didn't really have the language for it, but she cared deeply about the state of the vampires in this wretched town. Enough to sift out the tough love. Enough to take up the mantle of leader while only really wanting to desperately search for her friend, one of only a handful that she'd ever had in centuries.

Aaliyah just shook her head. "No, you're right, I didn't give you the chance to make a rational decision because we don't get those extra moments, Bri. We don't get the choice of, oh, I'll be a little mad. A human woman not controlling herself? She might yell, maybe hit. Perhaps she could cause some damage. A starving vampire not controlling herself?" She shook her head. "I'm not going to sit in front of the council while those fucking witches drag a clan member through the mud for fucking eating someone at a party. I won't even risk the chance of that happening. So was it rash to grab you? Perhaps. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. I was protecting the best interest of the clan, I was protecting you, hell. I was protecting your fucking boyfriend from the potentiality of having to listen to your trial while Meena and I have to figure out your punishment. Something that wouldn't have been light for even contemplating hurting the coven advisor's sister." She got what Bri was saying, but there hadn't been much she could do about Jake. "His words were cruel. He was acting out of fear. Does that mitigate it? No. If he doesn't apologize, then I can offer to rip out his tongue, but he also wasn't my priority in that moment. Suck it up in that moment, yes, but wait. Get back at them strategically. I do recall telling you that I didn't want to put you in a box."

Any effort to get through seemed to be a mission in futility. Aaliyah almost didn't understand what she was trying to accomplish. "I'm not trying to be menacing. I'm being honest. You won't like it because it sucks. It will suck. It's not a pun. When you have control issues, when you have feeding problems, it's not easy. It fucking sucks, and it continues to suck for years. I think that you could have an easier time of it than I did. You wouldn't have to deal with my sire, for one. If you think I'm a bitch, then you have no idea. And you have a daylight ring." She was almost wistful, just for a moment. "I missed the sun so much. Longed for it. I used to try and grind up marigolds. I thought if I could put it on my skin, the way that they sooth and heal would help. It didn't. I burned, many times. I was called a fool. She was right, of course, but." She gave Bri a long look. "It doesn't matter if you were or weren't meant to be this. You are this. You have to find a way to live like this."

Aaliyah couldn't help it. She laughed, actually happy. "I'm really not, but it's nice of you to come out of the closet. I have been rather curious if you fight all of Professor anak Bandi's battles for him, even the ones he's unaware of. You were practically ready to break his computer when he was Zooming into council meetings. I've always wondered how human lovers must feel. Do they find themselves as weak as we so often act like they are? Does he need your protection as much as you offer it?" She couldn't help the curiosity, and it was genuine. She'd never stayed with a mortal for so long as to see them as anything more than a temporary fascination. She'd only turned a handful for companionship, but she'd never been especially coddling of any of them. "It's beautiful. Mankind used to spend hundreds, sometimes thousands of years building monuments, cathedrals. Some desperate clawing at permanence. And they are sad. But... ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Whether you're a skull in the wall or dust in the wind, it's sad because they're dead, not because of their eternal resting place." She snorted. "I've lost my touch if the only reason you think I'm a bitch is because I insult your boyfriend. I think I've also kicked your roommate out of my club three times. Her picture's on the wall, now. Do Not Allow Entry. And what is a Shrek?" she asked, like she hadn't seen the movie when it first came out, a fascinating innovation in animation. "I like to think that I have layers like a hornets' nest. Far more applicable." Full of tiny, dangerous little components packed with stinging, hateful creatures.

The irony, in Aaliyah's eyes, was that Brielle was just as set in her own thought processes as she believed everyone else was set in their opinions about her. "I really haven't heard the eulogies. Such a thing is fun in theory, less so in practice. Making an entire town come to a party and then speak about someone that they may not properly know very well is a well intentioned idea that is, more often than not, less than ideal in practice. Besides, I didn't say that everyone in this goddamn town cares about you, I said people. You still have people that care about you. Maybe it's one hundred, maybe it's just one, but that can be enough. And Benjamin has lived here long enough to understand the risks. I remember the former Coalition leader, and I remember that your professor stepped up as soon as he was needed. He loves you, and he loves this town. I don't think something like that is going to do him in." The man had more backbone than she felt obligated to give him credit for. Most humans did. They willingly chose to live in a place where their neighbors had wings or turned into wolves or craved blood. There was an incredibly amount of bravery there.

"I'm not being condescending. I'm not patronizing you. I'm just talking. This is the way I talk, and it's the way I've talked for a while, now. And I'm attempting to get you out of that booth. It worked. But if you want to have a drinking, go for it. Maybe make me a little card. One sip for saying 'fuck.' Down a shot for moral superiority from a confess serial killer," Aaliyah said, laughing a little before she looked at Bri, her eyes a little soft. "If you want an actual funeral, this isn't it. I imagine you didn't get a lot of mourning done in there." Her expression ticked up in amusement as she listed off some of the members of the clan and their various selling points. "She's eccentric. That happens, sometimes. He has cultivated a displeasure for most things. That happens, too. It's nice that they're happy, even if unhelpful. She needs all the rest she can get right now. And you're right, they're both rather new, and the last people I'd wish to get advice from about control are Tried to Eat My Boyfriend's Leg and Had a Sunburn for a Year From Sleeping Outside." She hummed. "No, not a bat signal. We don't turn into bats. Look, I get you might think it's too little, too late. And that's fine. But I work on payroll for Eclipse on Tuesday afternoons. I offered you help with payback at the gift exchange. I'll offer you something similar, now: help with being a vampire, sans neon sign. No non-vampire pals, no busy crowds where I, and most people, really, are so often on defensive. Again, I'm telling you that you probably won't like it. Not to cow you but to let you know that it's just not fun. I didn't like it. I hated it, really, and it took me years to get the hang of this bullshit. But you're much smarter than me."

[orcelito]

The good news: I will have Chinese food tomorrow

The bad news: I have to see my mom as part of it :[

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[two-sides-halved]

Gem Steven looked up as he was spoken to. He knew that's not what she meant to do, but he couldn't help but think that he was absolutely difficult to deal with when he even so much as gotten irritated with something and no one could understand why. He took a deep breath. "Eris, I understand that you meant to just explain that sometimes caring about someone costs nothing, but can be taxing... I know you weren't making the comparison that I did by connecting two dots that have no business being anywhere near each other... I'm sorry I get difficult to deal with..."

"I can't say I'm the most empathetic person to ever exist cause I have my limits... after my limit gets past... all there is is irritation and confusion because how come everyone else has so much more patience for someone when mine ran out sooner... and for good reason most of the time." He sighed. "I'm sorry that I make you feel like you're not doing enough... the fact you're trying to get through my fucking thick skull is more than enough, because most of the time if Steven doesn't see it, I'm on my own with that fuckery."

Gem Steven looked up at her. "Yea, because most of the people I'm around I care about... but you've never seen how I am around Lapis because I try to keep myself out of those negative situations if I can help it, and if I can't I have to keep civil... lest another building be thrusted upon me." He sighed a bit, before catching a bottle. "... what do you mean office... he's not just up in his room doing little homeschool things from there??" He asked. "geez a lot can happen in a month..." He looked over. "Oh a surprise?"

Continued | @erisdiamas

His gaze remained more toward the floor in this melancholic haze, before the words got through. His eyes shifted, a slow blink almost as if his eyes made an actively crunchy sound from the disuse of his lids.

Was he ok? How does someone even begin to describe the state he was in? If it meant physically, the only things that hurt were his stomach from the lack of food for a month but that hardly phased him after a few years worth of missed meals when living with the Diamonds before the shit storm that had hit his previous home and his eyes from their lack of blinking since had been staring down at the floor after his self imposed trip into the room to just give himself a moment to deal with everything, only to end up with the room deciding he needed to have a full month of detox rather than just a few hours like he had planned.

If the question were only focused on his emotions, it was hard to tell since they were just as frazzled as they always were, even more so due to the room deciding to play some sort of long game with him even if it was for his benefit. It was as if a piece of himself was missing. and it had been gone for so long he only just now realized it was gone, but it was so hard to put anything into words that fully explained how he felt.

He didn't know how to answer, how does anyone answer a question like that as if it weren't the hardest question to answer when anyone could ask him of all people?

He rubbed his face slowly, taking a deep breath before letting it out slow. He couldn't say that he was fine, because that was a lie. He didn't feel like burdening her with his feelings because he's supposed to be the older one, the one who guides, not the one who falls apart whenever anything just gets too much to bare. He clenched his fits to the point where his knuckles turned nearly white than his already pale skin. How is it that he can dump his trauma for the room to see, yet can't just express himself in front of a living breathing caring person, maybe it was because of the age between them, maybe it was because his upbringing was literally having to deal with people literally 1000s of years older than him having to fix all his problems to the point where he's so burnt out he'd rather keep shelving his own problems then just deal with them.

Once again he turned back to the floor, before finally speaking aloud. "I'm not ok, but that's ok..."

[epiceneandroid]

i am going to say it now btw but the way you perceive alex in yiik is basically how you perceive someone who essentially has severe untreated moral ocd specifically around fearing he has npd and severe bpd and hpd that mimics npd and severe pediatric onset ocd that mimics the symptoms of DID which has happened and can happen according to multiple studies and my actual first psychiatrist who specialized in pediatric ocd btw.

if you perceive him as a narcissist and irredeemable and are going to be ableist about both people with npd and him? yeah you'll perceive him as irredeemable with no good points

if you perceive him as someone with such severe moral ocd that the thought of even OFFENDING his friends makes him fear he's an irredeemable violent criminal who deserves to be executed and has abandonment trauma around his father and abuse trauma around his mother that splintered him into multiple headmates? you're going to understand alex a little better than the average fan or hater.

basically: to understand alex as a character you need to know only one thing and it's he believes like 100 percent that he deserves to be hated for existing and that nobody should love him. it's the opposite of the common perception of him that he believes he should be loved unconditionally because he thinks he doesn't.

[vaguely-concerned]

I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)

aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao

(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)

[darkacademiaarchivist]

i had a conversation with my aunt today about how the system and politics and basically everything is fucked at the moment (which is true) and she was SO CLOSE to so many points but she never acknowledged that capitalism is the root of so many of those problems... Bestie you're So Close...

[camellcat]

had an idea while in the shower...

hiccup - buffy toothless - spike astrid - faith stormfly - drusilla tuffnut & ruffnut - xander & willow barf & belch - harmony & jesse fishlegs - kendra meatlug - ? snotlout - cordelia hookfang - wesley stoick - giles gobber - jenny valka - joyce cloudjumper - angel

y'all pickin up what I'm putting down here?

[justablah56]

hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .

[moe-broey]

Would I be proving my therapist (who has been voicing some concerns about my depression maybe getting worse but like I feel like it's fine) right by cancelling my appointment tomorrow cause I just don't wanna. Like all I have to report is that I'm tired and I wanna rest and I just don't really feel like it y'know

[earthandsunandmoon]

brain is overrated let me be a sea sponge 👎👎👎