#and i can’t give it to anyone else cause it isn’t theirs

[borbealis]

and everything i do— it makes me think of her. and i can never get away from the joy that loving her created. and i can never get away from the gaping hole that is all i have left. 

and i hurt unbearably everyday and i miss her

and it never ends

[luxaofhesperides]

For ghostlights: baby Ellie + tired Danny + Duke the baby whisperer?

He has no idea how his parents did it. 

Babies are exhausting. Toddlers more so. Any infants in the strange stage in-between? Doubly so. 

Ellie is wonderful and sweet and cute and such a terror that Danny genuinely has no idea how his parents managed to raise not one, but two kids. For all their eccentricities and absent-mindedness, he and Jazz turned out pretty well. Ignoring the whole halfa thing because that’s more his fault than theirs even if Jazz says they shouldn’t have created the dangerous environment in the first place.

That environment is exactly why Danny refuses to let Ellie go to his house in Amity Park. His parents say they’ve disabled all the weapons and ecto-sensors since he’s had to reveal himself as Phantom, but he knows that things slip their minds and if they can’t guarantee that the house is safe, then Ellie isn’t going in there. Simple as that. 

This means that they live somewhere else now. Danny had thought about it, during the hours Ellie was asleep and he was awake, exhausted and worn down to his bones, and took Jazz’s advice to accept Vlad’s offer of buying a house for him. Except he argued Vlad down to an apartment in a city of his choosing where he wouldn’t stand out too much and he would be safe, or as safe as he can be, from anyone trying to hunt down ghosts. 

So here they are. Standing in the empty living room of their new apartment in Gotham. 

Gotham may not be very safe as a city, but it’s good for two ghosts trying to pass as normal. 

Danny sighs yet again, and looks at the space he’ll need to fill. At least Vlad is footing the bill. It’s the least he can do for creating Ellie. Frostbite was the one who was able to stabilize her, though it was almost too late and resulted in her reforming as a baby, just one and a half years old. Jazz is the one who’s choosing most of the furniture, thankfully, so it’s something that Danny doesn’t need to worry about it.

It’s a new start to their lives and it feels so empty. So overwhelming. How did his parents do it? How do any parents do it?

Ellie smacks a small palm against his cheek and babbles lightly.

“I know, Ellie,” Danny says, giving her a tired smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll have this place looking good in no time.”

He adjusts her in his arms, then heads towards the bedroom. It’s the only room that has any furniture, and all that’s there is a bed, a crib, and a bookcase. There are a few boxes on the floor, labeled ‘bedroom’ and ‘clothing’ and ‘books’. Most of it came from his bedroom in Amity Park, but he’s pretty sure he caught Jazz sneaking a few things in before they closed the boxes and loaded them up into the car. 

“Can you be good for five minutes?” he asks Ellie. 

She babbles again and smacks his shoulder.

“I’m taking that as an agreement. Just let me open these boxes and start unpacking before you start causing trouble, okay?”

Ellie makes another sound, but it seems agreeable so Danny carefully lays her down in the crib and gets to peeling off the tape on the boxes. The opens the one labeled ‘bedroom’ first, finding blankets and sheets folded and stacked in vacuum sealed bags. One of them is his old childhood blanket, the one he carried around everywhere that was faded with age, barely blue, with white bunnies decorating it. 

He was so small when he had this. It makes him oddly emotional to unpack it and pass it on to Ellie, draping it over her so her pudgy little hands can grab at it. 

This is no time to cry, though! He forces himself to focus and makes his own bed, shaking out the sheets and fluffing up the pillows. He’ll worry about washing everything later; Vlad made sure to get an apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer, which means he was actually sensible while apartment hunting for Danny. 

He doesn’t mean to flop onto the bed once it’s made, but he ends up there anyways. He’s barely gotten a full six hours of uninterrupted sleep since Frostbite deemed Ellie healthy enough to leave his care. The drive up to Gotham was long and wore him down to his bones.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but he does, drifting off as he wonders, distantly, when Jazz will be back from getting them dinner.

Ellie wakes him up at dawn with a loud cry. Danny jolts awake, heart pounding in his chest as he panics because Ellie isn’t here, she’s supposed to be in his arms, where is she? And then he sees the crib, where Ellie is staring at him through the bars, and he nearly collapses with relief. 

“Morning, El,” he says, voice rough from sleep, as he picks her up. She just stares up at him, then leans forward and rests her head against his shoulder.

It’s quiet moments like these that make his heart melt. Ellie’s had a hard life already; he wants to give her a better one, this time around. 

A quick check of the time on his nearly dead phone shows that it’s barely past six in the morning, and Jazz texted him a few times. All about furniture, saying that she didn’t want to wake them and that food is in the fridge. 

It’s only the mention of food that makes him realize how ravenous he’s feeling. Danny makes a beeline for the kitchen, ignoring everything else, and pulls out the boxes of take-out Jazz left stacked in the fridge. He devours it like he’s been starving for weeks, then gives Ellie her Ecto-Jello, the only food she’s allowed to eat until Frostbite gives the okay for solid, human food. 

Once he’s got her burped and cleaned up, Danny looks out of the kitchen and realizes that Jazz was very productive while he was asleep. The living room isn’t empty anymore; a dark green couch is against the wall, a low, rectangular coffee table made of dark wood in front of it. Two armchairs are on both sides of the couch, and a television has been installed, fixed into the wall. 

Jazz is asleep on the couch. Her legs hang off an armrest and she’s drooling slightly. 

Her phone is charging on the floor, so Danny takes it and snaps a picture of her for later teasing, then sends it to himself and writes a note to her that he’s going out with Ellie to explore the neighborhood.

He’s finally feeling more settled, energized from sleep and food.

In the warm dawn light spilling in through the windows, Danny looks down at Ellie and thinks that they’ll be just fine after all. 

. . .

Four months ago, Danny had hope. He was optimistic. 

Gotham was a fresh start, a new lease of life for Ellie. It is Danny’s attempt to be a single parent, sacrificing college for Ellie, and he’s planning to go out and beat the gangs black and blue if they start anymore shootouts in the next year.

He had just gotten Ellie to sleep. She was actually peacefully taking a nap.

And then a drive by shooter raced down the street, gunshots echoing down the road, and Ellie work up crying. She still hasn’t stopped, despite how Danny rocked her, soothing her as best he could.

They had been outside when Ellie fell asleep, her head on his shoulder. He had been catching up with Sam and Tucker when the car drove by, people ducking and crying out to avoid the bullets. Danny instinctively covered Ellie and made them both intangible, saving them from any stray bullets, but they ruined her nap and he needs to make them pay for that. 

“Shh,” he soothes, “You’re okay. We’re both fine. It’s okay, El, it’s okay.” 

Her little hands clutch at his back, twisting the fabric of his shirt, and she lets out a heartbreaking wail. He pats her back, hurrying down the street to get back to his apartment building, ignoring the looks people were giving them as they passed by. 

“I know it was scary, but you’re alright. You’re always safe with me, El.”

Ellie’s cries down down a little, but they don’t stop. She whimpers, burying her face against his shoulder as he finally reaches their apartment building.

The door’s locked, which wouldn’t be a problem except Danny can’t get his keys from his pocket. He knows he has them! But his pocket refuses to relinquish them and he has to stop every few seconds to pat Ellie’s back, trying in vain to calm her down. 

“We’ll be inside in a second,” he tells her, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, “as soon as I can get these freaking keys!”

“Hey, you alright?”

Danny startles, whirling around so fast it makes Ellie go quiet, clinging to him so she doesn’t get flung into the air. There’s a guy standing before him in a gray hoodie, looking at him with clear concern. It speaks to Danny’s level of constant exhaustion that he hadn’t clocked someone sneaking up behind him. 

The guy offers an awkward smile. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you or anything. Um, do you need me to open to door? I live here too.”

Danny wonders for a moment if this someone dangerous, someone hoping to hurt Ellie, but she starts to cry again and he steps to the side. “Please. I can’t get my keys.”

“I’m Duke, by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“Danny,” he replies, watching as Duke pulls out a large key ring, jangling with the amount of keychains on it, and easily opens the door. “I’ve been here a few months, but I’m usually inside. Or walking around in the mornings with this little monster.”

“That would explain it,” Duke says as he holds the door open, letting Danny in first. “I’m usually in classes at GCU, but I decided to take a mental health day after my lab, so here I am.”

Danny walks in and waits for Duke to follow, making sure the door closes properly behind them. “Thanks. How is GCU? What do you study? I was thinking of going there myself once she gets a little older and can go to school.”

“Oh, I’m majoring in English and Human Services.” He goes to say more, but Ellie wails again and Danny winces.

“I’m so sorry. That drive by woke her up and it’s really rattled her.”

“Hey, no need to apologize. I get it, Gotham is rough to kids.”

Danny tries rocking her back and forth, but it doesn’t help. He resigns himself to another hour of her crying before she exhausts herself, and makes for the stairs, going up to the fourth floor. Duke holds open the door again, then follows after them. It makes Danny wonder if Duke is planning to do something to them, then decides he can beat Duke in a fight, so it’s fine.

Duke doesn’t try to hurt them or steal Ellie away. He opens the door to their floor and stops before they do. “I’m in here,” he says, “If you ever need me to open more doors.”

“Thanks. Um, actually, I might need help opening mine?”

Duke just smiles and makes his way back to them, following them farther into the hall until Danny stops in front of his apartment. 

“If I could just get my keys,” he starts.

“Here, let me hold her for a second so you can get them,” Duke offers. Danny wants to insist that it’s fine, but Ellie cries directly into his ear and Danny, at the end of his rope, passes her over. 

Like magic, Ellie settles as soon as she’s in Duke’s arms. She sniffles and hides her face away, clutching to Duke’s hoodie, but she stops crying. They both go still, surprised, and stare down at her. 

“Seriously?” Danny says as he finally pulls out his keys, “Are you trying to say that I’m the problem?”

Ellie babbles lightly, and Duke turns his head to futilely hide his grin.

He grumbles as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. Ellie is acting as if she’s never been upset before a day in her life, making herself at home in Duke’s arms. 

“I can’t believe this. Betrayed by my own blood.”

Duke laughs as he follows Danny into his apartment, lightly patting Ellie’s back. “It’s always the smallest, cutest ones that do this.”

“Yeah? Do you work with a lot of kids or something? Used to being betrayed by the little ones?”

“I don’t work with kids per se,” Duke says, “But my foster family is a hot mess and the youngest of them likes to keep us all on our toes.”

“Family,” Danny says in a tired, fond tone.

“Family,” Duke agrees.

With his door open and Ellie calm, Danny’s ready to just lay face down on the floor for the rest of the day and not deal with anything else. He moves to take Ellie back, holding his arms out, and Duke tries to pass her over.

The key word being tries. 

Ellie tightens her grip and kicks at Danny. She refuses to be taken away from Duke, making him awkwardly try to pry her off his hoodie. Danny really hopes Duke doesn’t notice how she goes slightly intangible to make his hands fall through her arms and legs. It shouldn’t be noticeable, but it’s hard to focus on anything but a kid that clings to you, so Danny holds out for Duke’s goodwill and silence.

“As nice as it is to meet you, you need to go back to your… parent?” Danny nods when Duke looks at him in askance. “You need to go back to your parent. Okay? Come on, kid, he’s waiting for you.”

Ellie shakes her head, makes a frustrated noise, and then turns and reaches out a grabby hand towards Danny. 

She still refuses to be taken from Duke when Danny tries to pick her up again, so he settles with just letting her hold two of his fingers. 

“I’m so sorry about this,” he says to Duke, face burning. This is why he hasn’t been going out and being social since he moved in; Ellie is a handful even on the best days, and Danny doesn’t want someone to judge him as unfit to parent her and have her taken away.

Duke shakes his head, stepping closer. “It’s all good, man. I don’t mind. It’s not like I had any plans today. I’m already skipping my classes, might as well spend it with you two than sleep all day.”

“Are you sure? I’d be happy to invite you in, but I know Ellie can be a lot and not everyone wants to spend their day off with a baby.”

“I’m sure. Besides, I’d just be down the hall anyways. It’s no skin off my back, man.”

“Well,” Danny says, stepping to the side to give Duke full access to his open doorway, “Come on in, then.”

Ellie keeps them connected, one hand in Duke’s hoodie and the other holding Danny’s fingers, and though her cheeks are still red from how hard she had been crying, she’s calm now with her eyes shining with mischief. 

As the door closes behind them, Danny realizes that this is the first time someone he’s not related to has been inside his apartment. Not even Vlad has come in, always choosing to invite Danny and Ellie out for lunch instead. 

It should make him nervous, but Duke is calm and easy going and kind. 

He’s making silly faces at Ellie to make her laugh, completely at ease with her in his arms, as if he’s done this a thousand times before. 

Gotham is a second chance at life for Ellie. It’s a sacrifice for Danny, to be alone and without friends or family around. He’d been ready to give up everything for Ellie, to focus solely on raising her, but with Duke filling his apartment with laughter, he thinks that he can make a life here too.

All he needs to do is take that first step, reach his hand out, ask Duke to stick around.

He can do this.

[milkoomi]

⋆˚࿔ a new canvas means a new you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

a mini series on the art of becoming a better you

chapter 1 | chapter 2

chapter three — THE ART OF SAYING “NO”

learning to say “no” and having boundaries can really lift you up. it brings you this strength that you felt like would have been impossible to have. the mentality and emotional power it gives you can make you feel unstoppable! however, i know there’s a lot of us out there that may struggle with putting your foot down and saying no. and that’s okay! this chapter is here to teach you that saying “no” and putting your own needs first is something that you are allowed to do! people pleasing is a big thing that stops a lot of us from setting boundaries, and unfortunately, it’s caused us to be put in situations or relationships that aren’t good for us. say “no”! set those boundaries! you have a right to do so.

ᥫ᭡. the importance of putting yourself first

let’s start this chapter off with a discussion on why you need to put you and your own needs first.

you can’t give your best to others when you, yourself, aren’t at your best.

this is one of the biggest lessons i had to learn for myself. i’m not one to always call out from work or miss a lecture, but there are days where my mental health is really struggling and i can’t bring myself to even get out of bed. so, i prioritize myself and take a day to rest, relax, and recharge so that i can continue to give my all the next day! people always talk about prioritizing your health, but they don’t always include mental health, so be sure that when you prioritize your health that you’re also taking your mental/emotional state in mind!

you also can’t expect yourself to give others your best when you aren’t providing yourself the best. if a friend needs you, but you are in a spot where you need yourself more yet you continue to give to another person, then you’ll have nothing left for yourself. one of the first things you hear on an airplane is to put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else with theirs. so use that same mindset of helping and taking care of yourself first before you go and help another.

people pleasing gets you nowhere

to piggyback off of the previous statement, if you’re constantly someone’s “yes” man/woman/person, you’re constantly putting yourself in a position that makes you their personal doormat. people will lose respect for you and your boundaries if you’re always trying to please them; they see it all as an opportunity to use and take advantage of you, your time, and your energy.

you can still be a good person while still having boundaries! just because you’re setting a personal boundary for yourself and for others that doesn’t automatically mean you’re selfish or anything along the lines of being a bad person.

ᥫ᭡. how to set boundaries

setting boundaries is key! it’s important that these boundaries are put into place so that your own energy isn’t taken from you, especially when you need your energy the most.

know what your personal limits are

understanding what you will and will not accept will help be the first step into knowing what boundaries you want to set! take time to reflect and ask yourself, “what do i want with my time, my emotions, and my relationships?” know how you want your energy to be spent.

be clear about your boundaries

having a good idea of what you need and want for yourself will help you communicate your boundaries. once you know your own personal limits, create a clear boundary that you want to set for yourself and for others.

use “I” statements

setting a healthy boundary is important, so be sure to use statements with “i feel…” rather than “you…” because those “you” statements can come off as accusatory, and whoever it may be that you’re setting a boundary with may not take kindly to it.

consistency

make sure you’re consistent with your boundaries. reapply or restate them until those boundaries stick. practice, practice, practice! consistency will help to continue to reinforce the boundaries you’ve set!

set consequences

people will cross your boundaries, and it’s going to happen and it will be extremely frustrating. a lot of times, unfortunately, people will continue to cross your boundaries over and over again, so set consequences.

i’m not saying you have to be outright rude or lash out on them; fighting negativity with negativity is an unnecessary stressor to put on yourself. create a plan for yourself that will help you communicate some kind of response for whenever your boundaries are being crossed.

ᥫ᭡. practice saying “no”

saying “no” is one of the key things when setting boundaries. you don’t want to go out with people? say no. your boss is asking you to pick up more hours, but you’re already starting to feel drained? say no. a friend is asking you if they can vent to you, but you’re not in the right headspace to deal with strong emotions? say no.

you can always politely say no, of course, especially in a healthy friendship/relationship or a professional setting.

here’s how:

“i’m not feeling up for it right now, maybe when i’m feeling better another day we can!”

“i can’t take those hours on, i have prior responsibilities i need to attend to.”

“i’m not in the right headspace to take that on right now, but i still love and care for you!”

i know there’s a lot of us who might worry about coming off as rude, but there are so many ways other than the ones i mentioned to say no!

again, you can still be a good person and have boundaries. if anything, having boundaries puts you in healthier mindset and can bring you healthier relationships with people! boundaries are there to strengthen yourself!

you have to be firm and to assert yourself. you know you don’t want your time and your energy to be spent on someone or something that drains you more than replenishes you.

ᥫ᭡. final notes

i just want to keep reiterating that you are allowed to say no and set boundaries. too many of us have lived lives where we felt like our purpose was to please others and give and give until we have nothing left for ourselves. put yourself first! i say this all the time: you are always you’re number one priority. it’s the truth, and i’ll keep saying the truth until it sticks for you because you need to know that for yourself. you are allowed to prioritize yourself, your wants, and your needs. being selfish, for the right reasons, is okay! wanting to take care of yourself and focus on your needs is the right reason to be selfish. you’re allowed to want your own time, you’re allowed to be there for yourself before anyone else, you’re allowed to put your own well-being before others— you should be doing so! becoming a better you means learning to put yourself first!

with lots of love, juno 🌷

[misc-obeyme]

Hi, love your work! Could I please request a headcanon with SatanxMC, author’s choice?

Hi there, anon! Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoy my writing!

Okay, so uh, since it was author's choice, I thought I'd do a little hurt/comfort. And oh man, I was in a mood 'cause MC is really going through it in this one. But the thing is, I really feel like Satan in particular would be like this. He's actually really good at balancing himself in a way none of his brothers are at all. (When he's not enraged that is.) And I think that gives him a different perspective on an MC who was deliberately suppressing their feelings. Anyway, hopefully it turned out okay!

Thanks for participating!

COZY COMFORTS EVENT

It's another long day. And something inside you mumbles quietly of sadness - a constant hum that you had tuned out long ago. You have no reason to feel anything but a sense of progress and contentment along with the inevitable knowledge that there was always more to be done. You don't have time to focus on anything else.

Satan learns your patterns the first time he sees them in action. Perhaps it's the way you isolate yourself or maybe it's the strained sound of your voice. He notices when all you ever do is give your energy, passion, and love away. He watches it deplete you.

It takes some trial and error, but Satan figures out when it's all too much. He had to learn fast when he found himself unceremoniously ripped into existence, fully formed and full of rage. He knows how to adapt quickly. He knows how emotions that feel like they don't belong to you can be so overwhelming that there isn’t space for anything else.

Satan knows that you would never say it out loud, not to anyone. He sees that low melancholy in your eyes no matter how hard you try to hide it behind your smile. You don't want anyone to know, but you desperately want someone to see it, too. And he does. He always does.

He might start out with shooing his brothers away from you. Giving them glaring looks if they become too demanding. He can’t act as though he isn't also guilty of wanting your attention, your love, your friendship. He knows you like it that way because it helps you avoid the truth of your heart. It's easy to push yourself aside when others need you. He watches you bury yourself in the wants and desires of him and his brothers. Like your own don’t matter. Like your comfort is secondary to theirs.

Satan is going to ask you about it directly. It hurts. It hurts you both to talk about it and by the end you’ve both succumbed to tears. He knows you can’t hold it in forever. He knows you can’t pretend you’re okay for the rest of your life. It doesn’t work like that and he won’t watch you crash and burn. He’s been there too many times himself. That’s why he forces himself to ask you. He calls you out when you lie or somehow downplay your feelings. Don’t hold out on him, MC. Please.

Satan’s heart breaks as he watches your eyes fill with tears the minute he asks you why you’ve been sad lately. He knows this is what he needs to do for you, but he hates watching you in pain. You reluctantly start to talk to him and every word seems to be cutting you open. Every word becomes an arrow through his heart. And he realizes he’s able to stand it, able to hold this hurt, because he can also see it healing you.

Didn’t you heal him, too? Didn’t you calm his wrath in a way no one else ever could? Isn’t it the least he could do to make room for your sadness? Isn’t it the least he could do to hold it for you, just for a little while? He would take it all if he could. He would protect you from every feeling that wasn’t happiness or joy or love.

He can’t, so instead he holds you. He hates the way you shudder in his arms, like your body can’t contain the heaviness of your own heart. But he keeps you close to him, buries his hand in your hair, kisses your cheeks softly, his lips wet with your tears. He runs his fingertips down your back, he tightens his arms around your torso. He lets you stay that way as long as you want. He’ll hold you against his chest all night if you cry yourself to sleep there.

When morning comes, Satan is floored by the bright relief he sees in your eyes. For so long, you kept quiet and he watched you fade. All it took was someone to ask you, someone to listen, someone to be there to witness you pour everything out of your soul and into the night. Now you’re radiant again and beside that a gratefulness, a tenderness, a bond between you of a shared secret hurt that no one else has ever seen. You have carried him in his anger and he will always hold you through your pain.

cozy comforts | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[famousparadiselight]

(that breaks my heart, fucking fandom...)

@itsanotherworldhere wrote this :

"A couple nights ago I got some disturbing asks. I almost posted them but I already know where they came from and communicated with the source. I went back and forth on whether to say something cause I know what the result will be, but also..if I know what it will be, why not proceed anyway? So, I’m gonna say something I wanted to say for a while. Read it if you have time, or don’t, either way it’s just my peace, never scared of a long rant. Cue the eye rolls, I don’t care. I like to think of it as an op-ed on fandom culture.

I’m never going to regret or apologize for calling out hate. This fandom has been so toxic for so long and that is part of it and if a better environment is to be created, giving certain sentiments platforms in an extreme way isn’t going to make it any better. Excusing it by saying it’s just silly doesn’t work either. And sending crazy asks for a conversation I wasn’t even involved in is evidence of that. Also, I don't condone the types of asks I have received happening to anyone, ever.

Everyone is someone behind the screen, and you can excuse it as being anonymous but we see our own reflection in our phones and I can’t just be complacent in things. I also don’t know how people justify saying certain things even on the internet.

Hate breeds hate. You can’t create a hateful environment and publish anything under a guise of a different point of view and then act surprised when anons run off elsewhere to replicate that sentiment. There is a difference between a different pov and hate. There’s a difference between disappointment and hate. There’s a difference between holding somebody accountable, who has literal evidence of them doing horrible things, and directing that towards someone undeserving. And the “accountability” is often for things that are so far off, I’m afraid of the reality some people live in. The insulting and sometimes dangerous names and statements made with such confidence, those of which are so unnecessary, get thrown around so easily. What is ridiculous is accepting that that’s just how it is and expecting it to just happen and no one who is allowed to talk about the hate or they’re a problem. Or too much. It makes no sense. Because hating someone incessantly is just obsession in another font.

It’s oversimplifying to suggest that people can just stay on their spaces, because hate will infiltrate everywhere. Clearly, because anons feel emboldened to say the the most unhinged things on spaces that aren’t “theirs” anyway, and there is no way to avoid cross-contamination. God forbid if that’s pointed out. It’s also rather troublesome to think anything within hate can be expressed but nothing else. And if people try to point out that hate, they’re somehow in the wrong and yelled at, but the hate is confusedly okay in the first place? It’s so simply odd. And no, pointing out hate is not the same thing as the hate itself. Standing up for yourself is not a problem. If you think this is overdramatic, okay. If it offends you, okay. Anyone can predict how people will respond to things if you’ve been in this fandom from the beginning. I don’t think anybody is going to have a come to Jesus moment and all of a sudden change. I’m over the gaslighting and being told that some people are complying and posting even though they don’t agree, cause there’s “nothing we can do,” while anons are attacking each other and calling each other names. It is wild to claim that we can’t control the narrative when the narrative is created by us and it’s also wild to claim that you don’t control what happens on your blog when you’re literally the owner of it.

As a fandom as a whole, it spreads, regardless, when certain things are tolerated. It gains momentum. And then somebody can feign realizations but if you’re not committed to the outcome of those realizations, they quickly fade and are rendered useless, and it returns to where it was in the first place.

I’m lucky I have a life outside of this and even if I’m okay when I log out, coming into a space that keeps getting more problematic and invasive is endlessly frustrating. And it’s not a secret, or at least it shouldn’t be, that some people are deeply affected to the point of concern. We’ve all seen it. Shoving it off as if it’s nothing and that it should not be taken seriously is also ridiculous because some would argue it’s very serious when it has affected them with death threats (only two months into tumblr I got inducted into this club and am now a 3x member) and other serious, offensive and/or ridiculous allegations, or misinformation spreads because of a (sometimes conveniently intentional) misinterpretation of what has been said and it’s posted with no proper context or thought. Or someone decides a non-descriptive post was about them which offsets a slew of very strange interactions and dms and more accusations.

It is easy for anons to feel it is silly when they are not on the receiving end. It’s easy to pass it off as “nothing.” It’s a classic deflection. But this does move into real life for some, especially when it is being encouraged or championed to bring up topics from “silly” tumblr to people in real life as if it’s okay. Hate being defended and broken up into categories as if any hate is better than another and accepted as normal, is one of the most wild concepts and why this fandom has become what it has. But people want to hate. They want to have an outlet for whatever is going on within their own life and release that hate, and so they will excuse it to the deaths. So here we are, still. Asks growing in the inbox day by day make some feel all mighty and powerful which is only worsened by the anonymity the admin has as well. People can claim to be anything, have any degree, or any intel, which isn’t necessarily inherently problematic, but in this context because some will foam at the mouth at the thought, they will continue to post it no matter the content. That feeling gets addictive for some.

These problems speak to humans, way beyond what or who is any singular focus of a fandom.

I don’t care about being popular. I never have. OGs know me from being a mere commenter where I also combatted misinformation and hate. It’s nothing new. I have no other agenda attached to this, so I don’t need to keep a following. My ego is also not dependent on it. I’m not going to let any ask go through and create a hateful environment to keep any of those followers. It’s insane to think all this chatter can’t be defended. I don’t regret making a blog, even though sometimes I have considered it, because I got a lot of answers to a lot of questions that I had before making my own space. And there have been people I have really enjoyed “meeting.” They kept me going when things got weird. And some good things have happened personally too.

Anyone, who has reached out over the past several months, mostly private, understandably so (save for one, publicly, who is probably the only one who read this 🙌 as I’m sure many said ‘I’m not reading all that’) to share they also have this sentiment generally but also to those who expressed they are afraid to speak on it, I’ll be the punching bag for you, gladly. A thanks for stopping by"

5 notes

[cozzzynook]

Same anon from that Rodimus reviving Ratchet ask, I liked how it ended so this is just a what-if, can we get dratchrod with an alternate Rodimus learning that it's ok to love again?

Alternate Roddy comes from a universe where he had to kill his crew to save them from a worse fate, like with Nyon, so he's very self-sacrificing because he doesn't want that to happen again. Despite their bitty absolutely loving him (and he adores her too), Rodimus is hesitant to approach Drift and Ratchet because he doesn't want to intrude, he isn't their Rodimus after all. Neither of them want to feel like they're replacing the other's counterparts.

It's one of the other couples, maybe Chromedome or Rewind that tells them their counterparts also wouldn't want them to be depressed and lonely forever, so it's ok to love dammit. (Some of the crew's just getting a little impatient seeing them dance around each other)

I think Roddy is so so stubborn and just can’t get past what he did to Ratchet and Drift. All the problems he caused them, all the trouble and strife he put them through. In his world and theirs.

I think he keeps distance even if they don’t want that and it doesn’t work very well since he always ends up helping them with their bitty.

He probably tries to cement himself as a sparkling sitter and only that but Drift and Ratchet are adamant in showing and telling him he’s so much more.

Drift and Ratchet don’t want to replace their Roddy just like Roddy doesn’t want to replace himself or his drift and ratchet but he can’t help looking at them noticing the similarities and differences.

He puts a lot of distance when he feels himself dreaming the two telling him it’s okay to move on. It scares him. He doesn’t want to ruin anyone else or cause any more pain or grief.

Even if him putting distance is causing pain he figures better they have pain now and forget about him instead of get close to the family and destroy everything.

It takes so much for him to believe he isn’t a curse and won’t ruin everything but eventually he gives in and stays with the family.

Idk why my brain had a hard time with this ask lol

[vioyume]

This one is about a year old, but I decided to write something for it, can be described as amateur but I enjoyed doing it. It's also a short read, and in first person pov.

⚠️ Content warning for description of gore, gore, torture. Basically dead dove do not eat.

-

It’s strange to see a vending machine in the middle of the forest, one that is sitting on an old worn down trail leading up to it in a matter of fact.

The machine itself reflects the over grown scenery; a musky grimed up window barely letting anyone see it’s goods or what remains of it. Oddly enough there is barely an odour, or perhaps nature has taken back of what was once theirs. The buttons are worn down, the money box is locked, and the slot that leads to the treats had a huge piece missing in the bottom right corner.

Overall the shell has cracks, rust, and no indication of what it’s previous life was like.

Despite it’s worn down state, there is nowhere to give it power.

One can assume it was dumped, but the fact that it is just there, perfectly on the trail all on its own is strange, as if it was asking to be found. Wouldn’t there be other trash around it? And why here in the middle of a forest, miles away from the public? Is it worth the trouble to move the thing down here?

One can’t help but to push it’s buttons, there was no harm in that. It’s essentially abandoned and begging to relive the memories of a youthful life.

Well isn’t that silly.

Regardless though, two buttons were randomly selected to induce that curiosity. The metallic keypad felt cold, there wasn’t a struggle a push them down either, quick and easy as that.

And for a moment, expectingly, the results were anticlimactic.

Until the sound of a lock being undone was heard, leading to the door to slightly creak open to tease it’s insides.

Along side it, a horrific stench has slowly filled the air.

What the hell was that? What the hell does this old machine contain to make it have such a nauseous smell?

The truth couldn’t be more true than that.

Morbid curiosity and adrenaline lead to opening the barrier wide open to reveal what can be called a coffin.

A variable of human remains rested on the racks of this being; An uneven amount of eyeballs at the top, a plethora of hearts on the others, intestines decoratively wrapped between spirals across the shelves, and plenty more organs with dried blood covering every corner of the machine.

Only a few of the products are fresh while the rest looks disgustingly decayed or midway through it, slowly rotting and withering away.

It is a cannibalist's wet dream.

The vending machine’s door slammed closed, but struggled to completely shut itself.

The volume of a motor slowly risen as it’s springs begin to spiral backwards while the door continues to force itself back in place.

The impact and pressure of the door caused bones to crack and break due to being sandwiched.

Inevitably, skin got caught in the claws, pulling it away from flesh as it twists and turns in an unnatural manner in many places, and soon the process will repeat with the flesh, and then the nerves, and everything else as the sound of the motor quickens and gets louder.

To the break free from the machine’s grasp seems impossible, even if the unlikely were to happen, you will die soon after.

It all happened so fast, the pain is indescribable.

There’s nothing to see.

There’s nothing to hear.

There’s nothing to...

There is nothing.

The door finally closed after many attempts, something must’ve been wedged in between.

[another-lost-mc]

Hello again! It’s the Mephisto x Mc x Karasu thoughts anon. I’m so happy we share the same braincell lol I was like yessss finally someone else gets the Mephisto and Karasu potential they would be such nerds together!!!

Also, I’m curious what you think on this cause from the fics/stuff I’ve seen so far it’s seems like a 50/50 split: Do you think Mephisto is loud as all hell or completely silent in bed? Personally, I’m on the side that he’s horrifically loud, like the loudest of the cast lmaoo, no matter what specifically he’s doing. He’s always making a snarky comment or rant, or monologue or comeback so it makes sense that he can’t shut up then too. I love him so much<3 Also I was wondering if I could pick an anon emoji? Maybe 📌 if that emoji isn’t taken. I swear I looked at the list like 4 times before I started typing my ask but they just won’t stick in my brain aaaaa. 📢 works too if the other is taken.

I have so many thoughts™️ about this. Let's talk about Mephisto's sexy-time noises first then we can add Karasu to the mix.

nsfw below (cw: degradation, praise kink, dom/sub dynamics)

I agree with the headcanon that Mephisto isn't quiet in bed, but I think there's nuance to it too. The way I picture it:

He's very guarded about letting people see the real him and that includes being intimate with someone or having sex.

So during casual hook-ups with strangers/distant acquaintances, he's not gonna let himself be vulnerable—it's all about that physical comfort and release he wants without exposing his emotional cravings.

I'm talking some grunts, growls, some groans maybe. There's not a lot of talking, that's not the point of quickies like this.

These usually happen in places that don't allow for intimate conversation either. He's not taking these partners home and he doesn't really want to go to theirs either (clubs like The Fall have back rooms for this sort of thing and he uses them often).

A lot of the degradation he spews at MC when I write him is usually because he's in denial, or in certain cases, he's angry/humiliated and wants them to feel as badly as he does.

He tries to avoid talking about his feelings by deflecting it all on the other person, but that strategy only works for so long.

In an actual relationship once he gets over the denial phase, he's still quiet talkative but his tone and his words are much more loving: sultry praise if he's more dominant, unashamed pleas and begging if he's more submissive.

He's also less guarded about the noises he makes so there's more of them. In terms of volume, he's loud but not as loud as Karasu can be.

When it comes to Mephisto x MC x Karasu together, that can change a bit depending on which version of Karasu he's paired with. I see Mephisto being more of a dominant type if there's more than one partner present.

OG!Karasu stumbles and stutters over broken praise and begging, but mostly he's whining and moaning a lot, and very loudly. He's more likely to take a submissive role with Mephisto present so he can spend his energy enjoying you instead.

DILF!Karasu is more controlled. He still makes lots of noises but they're not as loud and they don't have that desperate, needy edge. He's much more comfortable talking during intimacy too. He's worshipful and that means a lot of genuine, loving praise with a hint of teasing if the mood is playful. He's very good at reading what you need from him and giving that to you. If Mephisto is being a tease and a little derogatory, dilf!Karasu makes sure you feel warmth and softness in the things he says.

RAD!Karasu is similar to OG!Karasu but he's less confident and more submissive as a result.

NB!Karasu is like OG!Karasu except when he's feeling angry or jealous in bed (which happens more often than any other version of himself). In that case, he's similar to Mephisto: more dominant, more teasing and even a little derogatory until you can soothe whatever funk he's in. That being said, the likelihood of NB!Karasu sharing you with anyone at all is almost non-existent. lol

read more: mephisto masterlist | karasu masterlist

[therealdesastrffxiv]

"When I was, a young girl, my father... took me into the city. To see a marching band...."

**********

A Beautiful Disaster: The Garlean Gloom Witch.

Want to read a story involving her powers? Well you're in luck! (But she's not super happy in the story for reasons, er, you'll read, if you do...)

THANKFULLY she's since been okay and even managed to smile a bit more lately as she learns to live beyond being afraid all the time.

A Necromancer's Pain

-----------------------

Meanwhile… elsewhere…. 

Snapping awake, Morana gasps, holding her hand over her heart. 

Something is wrong. 

“No… no no no… he can’t slip away. No.”

She darts out of the bed she’s been staying in and falls to her side, letting out a soft groan. She needs to get to him, she needs to make sure he doesn’t truly die. Dragging herself up, she’s noticed there’s no medics around. No one. They must be busy elsewhere….

She would rush over to the side of Finn’s bed… he looks gaunt. This isn’t looking good. “Finn!” she gasps, feeling him slip away. She’s so low on aether. She’s so low on…everything. Taking in a deep breath, she tries. “Stay with me… stay with me…”

Tears start streaming down her cheeks as she lets out a whimper. “Please stay with me…”

Finn opens his eyes. He looks up at Morana, blinking. Then… he gives a soft smile. Morana takes him into a hug, crying on his shoulder. “I thought I lost you, I thought—”

“Hey,” Finn says in a weak voice, giving her a hug before very gently pushing her away. Something…. Is still wrong. He tilts his head, giving a soft yawn. “... Morana… I’m sorry,” he says in an exhausted tone. “I..can’t hold on anymore. But I wanted to say goodbye. Truly. Thank you for this second chance…. I love you, and all of our comrades, so dearly. Don’t forget me. Alright? Please say goodbye to everyone for m-me… Ares and Sparrow too… find Kali. She’s hurting out there.”

“NO! FINN PLEASE! NO!” 

Finn reaches up and cups her cheek, yawning again. “...I’m so sorry, Morana… so sorry…”

His eyes…flicker out. 

….

….

….

Morana wakes up sobbing, her entire body shuddering. This has been the worst nightmare yet, and she can barely handle it. She pulls herself out of bed, heading toward where Finn is. Claudia and Flora rush over to her, and Flora has her lean on her shoulder. 

“Morana! Oh no… another one? He’s okay, he’s here still, we can feel it…” Flora whispers, then takes the crying woman into a hug. 

Claudia frowns deeply, a tear trickling down her cheek. This is a rough time… possibly the worst she’s seen the necromancer. 

When Morana pulls away from the hug though, she does notice Finn is very gaunt… it’s been four days and he hasn’t been able to eat. He doesn’t take in fluids or anything like normal, and what she’s doing isn’t enough.

She knows what she has to do. 

And she doesn’t have much time left to hesitate.

But it’s tearing her to pieces inside….

====

Flora says in a reassuring tone to her, “We will be okay. We do not ever think differently of you because you can do this. You are saving Finn’s life…erm. Undeath. It is for a good cause. He will agree. Remember, this is Finn - he would likely ramble about the battle implications.” She tries to give a smile.

Morana can’t even force a grin. She does say, “...Yeah. He would.”

Closing her eyes… she sighs. 

There’s a… chill in the room. The temperature begins climbing down, to the point where Morana can see her own breath. No one else in this room would be able to see their own breath, as theirs wouldn’t be warm. Though, if anyone were to enter right now, it would be similar to stepping outside into the calm after a blizzard. The door wouldn’t be locked or blocked. There would just be an…eerie calm about the area. 

Morana begins to glow a miasma of dark blue, the color of the aether that flows through the veins of her Ashkin. After taking in another deep breath, she allows her pupils to grow and cover her entire eye. The lights flicker eerily, but remain on. Tendrils of aether reach out toward and attach to Finn like branching capillaries. 

Morana utters command, her voice holding an eerie, unnatural echo to it.

"̷͌̌R̴̛͋i̸͋͂s̷̽̓e̷̡͛.̵̉̚"̵̈́

["Rise."] 

Finn twitches… once. Then twice. Then again. He jolts up, his movements unnatural. When he opens his eyes, he fixes them on Morana.

They are pitch black. 

Morana clenches her jaw, then glances toward Flora. She gives a nod… Flora wanders up to the freezer and pulls out a bag of…parts. She tears it open with a swift motion and places it on Finn’s lap. Severed limbs spill out on Finn’s lap. Morana’s breath hitches, and she needs to keep all of her focus on this. She usually avoids trying to watch her Ashkin eat… 

The next command is uttered.

"̶̊̃C̴͈͗o̸͑̓ǹ̶͠s̴̫͠u̷͚͐m̶̋e."

["Consume."] 

Finn would begin tearing into the flesh like a starved animal, gulping down chunks like he’d never eaten anything in his life. Morana keeps her eyes locked on him as he does so. She’s going to wait until he eats everything, and then will let him rest. 

In a normal voice, she says to Flora… “... I am going to turn around. Please tell me when he is finished.” As if the silence from the sound of flesh tearing wouldn’t tip her off. Still, she’s not thinking straight. 

Flora says, “Of course, Morana.”

The power of the Necromancer is in full view now, and the reason why so many are afraid. “This is…so wrong… so wrong…” Morana whispers to herself over and over. She feels her heart shattering into a thousand pieces because she had to take control. She could do so easily, turn these people she brought back into true minions, souls trapped in bodies they couldn’t hope to ever control again, watching as they did the unspeakable….

It was all. So. wrong. 

She stared at her hands, shaking like a leaf. She’d never done this before to her people, those who had their souls and weren’t just puppeted corpses of the long departed. The capability of great horrors and harm were at her fingertips, but it was never a thought that crossed her mind. 

Finn wasn’t there right now. He was still entirely unconscious. Yet… he consumes.

Morana covers her face with her hands.

Irimi listened to her, her own heart dropping hearing the pain in the Necromancer's voice. 

"Morana. I know you don't see it right now, but you're doing the right thing. You really really are."

The amount of sorrow in Morana's voice was evident she didn't want to do this- Irimi could tell. But Irimi then looked to Flora nodding but then asked the same question to Morana, "May I approach you?"

Morana continues to stare at Irimi. "...They need to have their wills... I brought them back because of their screams... I c-could hear them... but not like... normal hearing..." She's babbling a bit now but can't help it. "...They deserved a second chance... but need full control of themselves. I am failing him... This is so wrong... s-so wrong..." It's almost like she ...misses Irimi's question.

There's a five second pause. Then, a whispered, "...yes." 

Flora, meanwhile, walks forward cautiously, as to not disturb Irimi. She would watch this exchange carefully, not wanting to interrupt, but wanting to be there to explain and answer questions further before someone made the wrong assumptions about what Morana was doing.

Irimi would say nothing to Morana and walk carefully towards her. 

Without warning Irimi would kneel down in front of her and take her into a hug.

Morana doesn't do anything for a few seconds, but slowly attempts to hug Irimi back. If she can, she'd bury her face into her shoulder and begin sobbing. The sound of chewing flesh comes to a slow, however. 

Flora says gently, "He's done, Morana." 

Finn's pitch black gaze would be fixed on Morana as he waits for another command. He looks a lot better now. His cheeks don't seem pulled too close to the bone. His muscle mass has returned, and a few wounds have mended better than before. It's clear he is far, far better off now. But he can't rest yet. 

Not without Morana's help.

Morana sniffles, lifting her chin to rest on Irmi's shoulder before uttering one last command. "Rest." Her echoing, commanding tone is tinged with sadness. 

The room is still cold, but may slowly begin to grow warmer again. The aether visible aether link melts away, and Morana radiates exhaustion.

Finn's eyes....flicker on as he lays back down. This has actually woken him up. (15) Though he'll still need to actually sleep (as he's indeed not just an animated corpse and (allegedly) uses his brain), he does murmur, "... ... ... Did I get drunk and go after some of Rook's mercenaries or something...."

Irimi would hold Morana tightly, hugging her and not letting go until Morana would pull away. 

The word Morana spoke felt... powerful. And much to Irimi's surprise she would hear Finn speak- relieved? To hear him? Irimi sighed relief. "You did great Morana." She whispered to the Necromancer.

Morana is still crying, possibly not hearing Finn at all. She can hear Irimi, as the woman is right there. "...I don't think I did... h-he... had to obey me.. he..."

Finn blinks, then looks over to Claudia. "...Did she use her powers or something?" He can clearly hear Morana now. He looks down at his meal. "Huh. Was I being uncooperative? I-in that frenzy again?!" he gasps, now widening his eyes in alarm. 

"No, no, it's alright. You took a hit and died three times... and she needed to command you to eat. You were completely comatosed," Claudia murmurs. 

"Oh..." he mutters. "How interesting," he says with a grin. "...The implications in a war situation are--" he cuts himself off, giving Claudia an apologetic stare when she facepalms. He then focuses on a sobbing Morana and Irimi hugging her close. And then looks down at the bones on his lap. ".... I am too tired to clean this up, damn it..." He would casually try to pull the blanket over said bones to be less alarming. Three cheers for the bloody golden retriever! He's trying to be helpful! 

"Hey, Morana? Are you alright?" Finn asks. He looks toward Irimi. "Are you alright?!" The last he remembered of her was, well... right before Genji woke up. He has no idea what's going on and appears hopelessly confused. He's shirtless and hooked up to all sorts of things right now that don't do much to help monitor him, but are worth a shot. At least the aetheric-activity tracker is working on him.

OOC: A picture of Finn, one of her Ashkin she ressurected (again...)

Trebol_queen is the one who did this commission for me of Finn :)

[pumpkinsy0]

Ahaha guess who isn’t coping well rn? Me!

Context: today my period came and now I feel all nauseous and sad. But I solider on and went to do some shopping for some food. Issue? my dad also had like a bad day cause of his meeting. So when he found out I didn’t get his like alcohol he got mad. Not like SUPER mad more like passive aggressive mad??

I feel TERRIBLE because I made his day worse. But I’m also just sad right now. I love my dad so much but I feel like sometimes he just CAN’T be there for me. I can’t always ask for loving because he’ll think I’m being weird or needy. Or when I have a bad day, he’s also having a bad day. So I need to suck it up and act fine cause HE needs to let his feelings out. And I just- I just want my dad. I want him to hug him, I want to not have to earn his love, I just— I want him to stop being angry.

SORRY!! I’m venting majorly hard rn and that’s silly and stupid. But I was hoping you could do HC’s of this for one of the Curtis Gang Members. Maybe how that character would handle this. Maybe they’ll have better luck then me.

hey anon!!! im sorry to hear what ur goin through, u dont deserve it, so dont beat urself up!!! ur living ur own life and u shouldnt feel ashamed that u couldnt help someone else live theirs, plus bad day or not, no matter what it doesnt give someone the right to treat u poorly, its not ur fault!!! not even in the slightest!!!! ur sick on too of that, if ur dad cant show some compassion for that, hes the problem

BUT ITS OK!! its not silly or stupid, ur perfectly fine!!!

w all that said letsssss go w fem two bit w her dad here!! (yes this is genderswapped, but lets just say for this sake, twos dad and mom r the same and didnt swap genders)

•two loves her dad, which she knows is pretty odd considering hes one of the biggest con man she knows and even cons her sometimes but she just cannot help it no matter how many times shes mad at him

•two constantly feels like she needs to prove herself to him in order to get him to say “atta girl”, and in a twisted way, she really does but not really???

•two dad doesnt love her completely, but he does love her to a certain extent, he mostly loves what he can do FOR him and to a smaller extent loves her for her, thats guaranteed

•ANYWAYS, two’s sick and her dad got back home from this one con he tried doing that absolutely fucking busted, he got home and he was already annoyed, anything could set him off

•now he had this other thing planned, what was it??? till this day two doesnt know, BUT he told her to steal something for him, only problem is, she didnt get the right one, and she thought he would at least commend her for getting it, bc it was no easy feat, but she showed it to him, and he didnt go off on her, but she did see a look of disappointment and anger before he up and left to go to the couch, which made her feel worse

•for a good while, when he saw her around the house, he would make a comment about something she did, and it got to a point where two just couldnt take it and locked herself in her room till her mom came home late at night from work, just to avoid seeing him

•two mom HATES them hanging out the way they do and can always tell when something happened so when she sees twos dad at the table drinking and grumbling and twos door locked, she knows whats up and tries comforting two but it doesnt work, twos just beating herself up, so twos mom goes to her dad

•all two heard was yelling, it wasnt for long, maybe for 10 mins, but she ended up going to sleep to escape, she was just tired, hungry, and thirsty

•next day, he dad took her out, but it was so weird, bc its one of the only times hes seen him be hesitant near her, well with anyone really

•he drove her around town for a bit trying to make conversation, but failing miserably, and two knew he was trying to apologize, horrendously and in his own way, but he was trying, and to her that felt like enough, felt like a lot actually

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

May a request Headcanons Hurt/Comfort about family relationship with: Doll, Maurice, Ciel and Joanne :3

I hope this is what you wanted!! <3

Hm, well… family relationships can be tricky, no doubt. After all, look at him and his twin. What’s more complicated than that? It’s something he understands, but, unfortunately, not something he really knows how to be a comfort with. He’s not good at that simply because he’s had so little comfort for his own issues, he doesn’t know how to help someone else with theirs.

Though, for all his imperfection in comforting, and for all his own attachment to his brother, he does have one gem of advice: “So what if they’re your blood? If they don’t treat you well, what makes them different than a cruel stranger?” Even though he doesn’t always take his own advice, he does believe that you shouldn’t tolerate bad treatment on the sole grounds that it’s coming from a family member. Hold them to the same standard you’d hold anyone else, and if they don’t meet that standard, do something about it. Or he will.

He’s so busy, he doesn’t often have the time to be with you. When he does, he… wants you to be happy. He doesn’t want anyone to steal your smile. If there’s anything that can be done without causing friction with your family, he’ll do it for you as long as he’s able. Don’t be afraid to tell him if there’s anything he can do, alright?

Eh… God… sorry to say, relationships with family are probably the one thing that Doll doesn’t have to worry about. She loves her family and they love her, very much, so it’s unbelievable to her that you’d be having problems. Don’t everyone’s families love and support them? It’s… sad to her, to think that your family isn’t like her family.

She really, truly, fully thinks that if she can only get herself into your family and talk to them, maybe something might change. The unfortunate fact is that some people just don’t understand the impact their treatment of others has, so surely, if your family knew how they were affecting you, then they’d be nicer. They’d take your feelings and thoughts and words into consideration. Right? She’s desperate to believe that; she can’t conceive of a family not caring about one of their members.

She’s here for you regardless, though. No matter what happens, she’ll be a steady source of stability for you. If your family aren’t treating you well? She’ll treat you twice as well, over the top, to make up for it. You don’t deserve to be hurt, so regardless of everything else, she’ll make sure you’re taken care of.

In the same vein as Doll, Joanne is… not to say useless, but he struggles to figure out how to best comfort you. His own family is incredibly supportive and loving; his parents rarely pressure him toward or away from anything, and his sister is the best older sibling anyone could ask for. That’s what’s normal for him, so he’s surprised that your family isn’t like that.

It hurts him to see you hurting! Perhaps if your families came together and saw how Joanne’s family treat him, it would be a sort of… learning experience? Your family would see how much someone flourishes when treated well, how happy and kind a person it makes them. He arranges some kind of dinner or afternoon tea or something like that, to try and win your family’s support. If it doesn’t work, (and it might not), he’s going to be devastated that his idea didn’t help you.

He’ll treat you right, even if he’s not technically ‘family’. The thought that he treats you better than your own family is sad; if he’s the only place you’ll get such treatment, though, he’ll give you all the comfort you could ever want. If nothing else, he’s very good at making you feel like your voice is heard and that you’re worthy of being treated kindly.

Is quite possibly the worst person to come to if you’re dealing with family problems. Not because he’s unsympathetic, but because he’s normalized bad family dynamics. Or, rather, his father has. He grew up watching his father criticize and hurt his mother, and gradually he’s become a victim too. He thinks that whatever you’re going through, it’s probably… normal.

… That doesn’t mean he has to like it, of course. He just takes the approach of thinking perhaps you didn’t try hard enough to ‘avoid’ your family’s punishments or whatever it happens to be… because that’s the view he takes himself. It still doesn’t mean he likes seeing you hurt, so he tries quite hard to teach you techniques that have helped him in the past. Trying to tiptoe around conflict, doing your best to do what’s expected of you, pleasing your family? He doesn’t want you hurt, so he passes on what’s worked for him.

He knows deep inside him that something has to give. While he’s terrible at standing up to his own family for himself, the strength suddenly snaps together when it comes to defending you from your family. He can’t just stand by forever, watching you be hurt and putting a tiny bandage on it. When the time comes, he’ll probably sweep you away entirely, making damn sure you’re safe from your family.

[theemporium]

so if i basically dump on u the crap day i had but i need to get it off my chest and i can’t talk anyone about it i’m sorry about my rant. so usually every friday my parents will get my brother & i fast food and it usually switches on who chooses. it was my turn to pick so i picked wings cause i’m on my period and i wanted some. so we get some and my parents get someone too. today (saturday) comes and i noticed my parents didn’t eat theirs but instead got something else so i asked if i could have it (it wasn’t even a lot) they said yes. i asked again later in the day just to make sure it was still fine & my mom said yeah it’s fine and my brother got upset saying it wasn’t fair i got it. so then my mom offers if we could split but like i put earlier it wasn’t a lot (literally only enough for one person) & so she offers some of the food her and my dad got yesterday cause he likes them but they had lettuce which he hates and he said no. so then me & him got into an argument about it and i said i gave u all the fries that came with it and i gave the rest of my cookie that i didn’t finish (i’m always giving him MY food when i know i wont be able to finish it & i know he likes it). he was still upset so i basically said fine u can have it i don’t want it anymore but never ask me for anything ever again cause i’m done. my mom got upset that me & him argued and basically said no one gets it now. so i was fine & decided ok i’ll make myself something else since plan a was ruined well… plan b (hotdogs) was also ruined because we had no buns for them so i basically ate only 1 meal today and i’m hungry but there is quite literally nothing to eat in this house. to make matters worse my dad grilled chicken but i’ve never been a fan of grilled chicken and MY BROTHER FUCKING ATE THE GRILLED CHICKEN SINCE HE LIKES IT. now i’m just eating candy since i can’t have anything else & i’m broke so i can’t get anything delivered & i don’t have a license so i can’t drive to get anything. it’s insane how easy it was for my mom to switch up JUST because my brother complained (and she swears she doesn’t have favorites). the only thing that made my day was ur nicojack fic so thank you for the fic & for letting me rant even if it was long and annoying i just really needed to get this shit day off my chest.

ooft I’m sorry, babe :( that absolutely sucks, especially when it’s a period craving because it just makes the whole thing ever more frustrating!! honestly, I vote you eat the leftovers (despite what your mum said) if they are still there. fuck the whole situation, it’s not like they can do much about it once you’ve ate it!! but please do try to eat something, one meal isn’t enough!!🫶🏽

[mulhollandrrive]

Time heals, they said. Eventually, they said. One good look and you’ll know how I only seem to be going backwards these days. Things just getting weirder as the time goes by. I wanted to say things are horrible but isn't that is too strong of a word choice? All this time I have been been trying to keep myself afloat despite every wave that’s been crashing onto me. But today, just today, please let me sink and drown.

Oh to think that I’ve got everything under my control. What’s the worst thing that could happen? I thought to myself. But then again everything is actually fine... until it isn’t. The amount of me dismissing my own feelings, me accepting all the blame, me keeping all my thoughts to myself, me keeping everyone happy at the expense of my own peace of mind. I dread every single time I spend my time with them, I dread every interaction that seems to mean so little now unlike before. I dread the fact that they don’t see me, a person, crumbling alone. I’m totally fine with other people not seeing me, but them? I dread the fact that all that hurt caused by both of my own choice and theirs have now become merged as one big accumulated resentment that made me grow numb and lonely.

None of them come to an end. Neither the dread nor the loneliness. What's worse is the fact that it always multiply each day yet I can’t even do one thing that results in a betterment of us. How disappointing, I thought to myself as I'm trying my new shiny stuff I have bought out of impulse just so I can feel something other than numbness and loneliness combined. Ironic how our loved ones is the one who make us feel alone the most.

To be completely bare with you, I don’t wonder why do I feel so alone anymore, it feels familiar. It feels like that time in high school when I was 16 and everyone hates me—or at least I thought so. I mean I’ve got friends; they’ve got my back and I’ve got theirs. I didn’t have a lover but there are people who act like it. But why the loneliness?

I keep thinking. What happened? Who did this? Did I hurt myself? Did someone else leave an emotional scar that I wasn’t even aware of? Seeking for answer and my heart yells out: Find someone to blame, find someone to blame. But who do I blame? Who’s responsible for my own feelings other than me? I’m the one who keeps on invalidating my own feelings more than anyone else ever did. Yes, it’s exhausting. it’s exhausting how I keep giving pieces of myself to the others but never to myself.

Dear God, if you truly exist, if you’re out there and listening, I beg you to stop the pain, stop the noises. Stop, stop, stop. I know I’ll come back even stronger tomorrow I promise, so please make it all stop for now.

[diivineray]

Ya’ll are really hilarious trying to pin who owes who more when deep down it’s really not all about that.

Ya’ll only look at things Wei Wuxian’s side and have no sympathy looking at Jiang Cheng’s. Yes Wei Wuxian did a lot for JC, but his family also did a lot for him.

Ya’ll wanna shit on Jiang cheng so bad for reacting HUMANELY.

Wen Ning did some kind things, and even tho it wasn’t his intention to kill Jzx IT STILL HAPPENED. He is loyal as hell to his family, knowing his nephew now wouldn’t have a father and considering WWX and JC both lost theirs I think they’d know how much that shit hurts.

Wwx might have been fighting for the right reasons but it also caused a lot of pain and suffering for the ppl around him. Wwx knows he did a lot of shameful and regretful things that he can’t even look at his past self without turning away.

If Jiang cheng had known wwx was going to give him his CORE HE WOULDNT HAVE ACCEPTED THAT. Those two don’t know how to do anything for each other that isn’t one GRAND sacrifice. The whole reason he lost it was to save wwx. JIANG CHENGS CHOICE. Just like it was WEI WUXIANS choice to give him his core.

They talk about how their core is everything. It’s like a second soul to cultivators. AND U SEE HOW IT AFFECTS WWX WHEN HES DOING NOTHING BUT DRINKING HIS SORROWS AWAY WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE. AND HE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO HIDE IT CUZ GOD FORBID THESE BOYS LEARN TO COMMUNICATE.

But yeah let’s shit Jiang cheng for being depressed after his entire sect is gone, his parents are gone, his core is gone. I THINK HES ALLOWED TO BE UPSET ???

Also Jiang Cheng’s whole family disrespected wwx’s mother ??? WHOLE FAMILY ?? Be so for real now. Whole family my ass just say his mom.

Jiang cheng thought about wwx more than anyone else !! Yall also forget that lan zhan didn’t lift a damn finger until the very end !! It’s why he has been so determined to be by wwx’s side when he got a second a chance

Jiang cheng is a newly born sect leader, he is still so young. He can’t make or take risky moves without risking the livelihood of sect. He had more than himself to think about. Good and bad is not as clean cut as yall wanna think. It’s complicated and he had to do what was best for his clan. WWX KNEW THAT. THEY HAD A WHOLE CONVERSATION ABOUT IT DID YALL JUST SKIP THOSE SCENES ??

Jiang cheng expressed that if he went down this path he couldn’t protect wwx anymore !! AND THAT HURT HIM TO SAY. HES BEEN PROTECTING WWX ALL HIS LIFE !!! It has ALWAYS BEEN THE TWO OF THEM. I’m speaking from experience that losing a sibling hurts like fucking hell and to think Jiang cheng didn’t care wwx was going to be leaving yall can kiss my ass

Lan wangji had nOOOO business being at the ancestral hall. And had every right to be mad that wwx brought him there because for JC??? Wwx ‘s feelings for Lwj are the very reason his sect ended up in flames ! So yeah !!! He gonna be mad. I’d be mad !! If someone I disliked, and someone who very much has wronged me has the audacity to be show up at my parents burial site IMMA BE MAD. Cuz !!! Who said you could be there ?? Ya’ll only ever look at wwx’s side and just forget that wens CREATED GENOCIDE !! Just because there were the few who didn’t participate doesn’t change that fact.

it’s kinda wild how deep jiang chengs debts to wen ning and wei wuxian go. even without the knowledge of the golden core transfer. wen ning saved jiang cheng, retrieved zidian and his parents bodies. he brought them to safety and wen qing gave them medicine to recover. then wei wuxian gave up his only chance for a favor from an immortal, given to him from his mother whom jiang chengs family has spent their entire lives disrespecting, for jiang cheng to get revenge and continue cultivating. as the world turned against wei wuxian, do u ever think jiang cheng thought about this sacrifice wei wuxian made for him? that maybe if wei wuxian hadnt given up his chance for jiang cheng, he could have went to baoshan sanren for help. did he ever go to the ancestral hall where his parents were able to receive their full rights of burial only because of wen ning and think of the fact that his parents bodies probably would have been thrown into the burial mounds or burnt if wen ning hadn’t saved them.

i wonder if he ever thought about that when he yelled at wwx about unpaid debts, betrayal and disrespect.

[starvedvampire]

a little introduction before you proceed

hi everyone, my name is Sabre🩸i’m 25, i only use he/him pronouns, although i don’t identify as 100% male. i’m transmasc, in any case. a bisexual switch, i welcome all queer people to this space (especially fellow transmascs hi there).

please keep in mind that i’m in a fulfilling relationship with my partner, @my-vampires-favourite-treat (yes matching usernames 🥰). she is not only the object of all my love and adoration, but also my proud owner and my lovely bun🌻 my mind, body and soul are his🖤 (also he’s responsible for so many of my current kinks i fucking love her)

we’re both polyamorous tho, so if you want to sext/flirt with me that’s cool, just as long you know i’ll communicate it to her

UPDATE: hehe now i have two partners❤️ my lovely bunny and my silly, adorable bear 🖤 he teases me so much and constantly reminds me how hot he finds me and between the two of them i’m so full of cum love that sometimes i can’t even think straight 🥰 i’m so so grateful to be theirs and cannot wait for the day we’re all together again

please remember that this blog is for me and me alone. if you enjoy the things i post or rb, that’s great, i’m glad to know there are others who share my insanity, but keep in mind i don’t owe anyone here anything and i will block whoever makes me uncomfortable or disrespects me.

I firmly believe the best experiences related to intimacy are the ones that include enthusiastic and clear consent. even if some of the scenarios in this blog don’t explicitly show it, never forget that all sexual interactions fundamentally require consent from all parties involved, as it’s crucial to have it before you engage in kinks (also while you’re engaging bc it’s important to check up on your partner).

Kinks, asks, terms, DNI below the cut…

🩸fuck yES: monsterfucking, aliens, demons, tentacles, slime, belly inflation, oviposition, size kink, hucow/lactation/breast expansion, biting and blood as in vampirism, dumbification, breeding (pregnancy but only in theory, never in practice), praise and degradation, corruption, CNC, drooling, use of aphrodisiacs, body worship, free use, restraints, humiliation. pet play bc my partner got me into it 🌻 hypno and voyeurism are both tumblr’s fault.

🩸 maybe/sometimes: priest kink, forcemasc, exhibitionism, dacryphilia, hierophilia, light intox (alcohol), r4pe play. double penetration but almost exclusively with my partners, don’t know if i’d want it with someone else.

🩸 dislike/don’t include me: birth (mentions are fine but no graphic descriptions), guns, belly bursting, gore, feet, anything unsanitary

🩸 hard no: detransition kink, misgendering, incest, dd/lg, age play, bestiality

Regarding asks and dms:

🩸 to be honest when it comes to messages i’m not consistent at all but you can try your luck if you want. just please ease into it before jumping into graphic stuff, say hi and your pronouns and stuff.

also please don’t text me in a sexual way if you’re under 22 or over 35, not your fault tho i just don’t feel comfortable.

if you identify as a cishet guy, you can interact with my posts, but pls refrain from flirting with me or anything like that

🩸as for asks, please send more and give me an excuse to touch myself (just keep my pinned info in mind)

Terms you can use when referring to me:

Please only use these, i will only accept others if i’ve previously agreed:

🩸pet and filth names: darling, slut, cumslut, cockslut, pet, love, whore, beloved, sweetheart. call me good boy/pretty boy and i will literally melt🖤

🩸body parts: regarding to the ones that may cause me dysphoria, please only use cunt, hole, tdick, dick, cock, strap, clit, chest and tits. terms for other body parts are all fine.

DO NOT INTERACT / WILL BLOCK YOU IF:

❌ you’re a minor (under 18) or your age isn’t visible in your bio/pinned.

❌ if you send me pictures of genitals with no context/unprompted, i will block you

❌ you fetishize trans people/trans experiences. remember i’m a person and i am worthy of respect just like everybody else

❌ you’re a terf, swerf, transmed, pro-life, ableist, racist, misogynist, homophobic, islamophobic, antisemite, zionist. bigots in general please don’t come near here

❌ thinspo blogs stay the fuck away

❌ p*dos i will fucking report you, don’t try me🔪

Tags i’ll be using:

🩸#sabre posts: for random thoughts and whatever

🩸#thirsty sabre: this is my horny license which i can whip out at a moment’s notice

🩸#sabre types: for answering all your (horny) asks

Anon tags: #💜 #💫

the #🌻 is reserved for my beloved bunny

the #🐻 is for our cute, soft bear

*i’ll try to tag my kinks as they appear in my posts but i get distracted easily so no promises.

i reserve the right to change/update/alter this at any given time

🖤🩸that’s all, remember to take care of yourselves while misbehaving🩸🖤

[honeystwiggypeach]

Drawing on Toji's face with markers with Megumi while he's sleeping and he wakes up and is confused why the two of you keep laughing at him till he looks in a mirror🌻

I didn’t even get a notification for this…I know that I got this like a few minutes ago based on where it was in my notifications but like?? Goodness😭😭Anywho, hon this is adorable I love this anything with baby Megumi and Toji I melt into a puddle😭tysm for requesting if anyone else wants to see something let me know pls I love requests!!(ps Megumi isn’t readers son!)

Tw-pet names?? Fem reader and is referred to as mama, Toji is referred to as daddy strictly in a parental way!! Let me know if I’ve missed anything!!

“Megumi” you call quietly over the baby monitor after the tiny boy had been a little too quiet in his room.

“Mama” he babbles and you can hear the way he’s trying to pull himself up against the crib.

You smile softly when you see him bouncing happily against his crib reaching out for you as he continues to babble.

When you get closer you notice he’s got something in his hand…and all over his body…

“Megumi” your voice is still soft but it contains shock, “what did you do honey” you lift him from his bed glancing at the nightstand you thought was far enough away to see a pen cup Toji insisted on having had fallen over and one must have bounced into Megumi’s bed.

Your attention is drawn back to him when you feel him drag the marker down your cheek.

You gasp, “Megumi” he looks just as shocked as you with his little marker mustache.

“Let’s go show daddy what you’ve done huh?” You carry him into your bedroom to see Toji still deeply asleep, of course you’d grabbed a marker off your desk, if both you and Megumi were covered in marker…you can’t leave Toji out!

Of course the first thing Megumi does is give Toji a mustache with the ink, before going on to draw little swirls on his cheeks and forehead. You stick to doodling on his arms drawing little hearts and stars, when Toji wakes up you can’t help but giggle, his furrowed brows cause the ink on his forehead to move and Megumi giggles wildly because you’re laughing.

Toji is confused for a moment until it clicks that both of you have marks on you and theirs two markers on the bed and…he glances over to the mirror in the corner of the bedroom, when he notices he scoops Megumi from your arms, “did you give me this mustache kid” he’s holding him above his head and little Megumi kicks and giggles at the way his dad is speaking, “you know daddy doesn’t keep a mustache” he tells him in a joking manner though to anyone else he’s serious.

Toji looks over to you with your lone mark, he gives you an intentionally fat kiss leaving the same mark as him right above your lip.

“Mama” Megumi babbles between giggles.

“Honey you’ve got one to” you laugh pointing the mustache out to Megumi in his reflection, he gasps lightly as he holds his tiny face in his chunky little hands.

Pls send me more requests I love this😭😭