#and i break my own heart every time i do :')
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āIt could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I donāt believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.ā (Patreon)
Bonus:
Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#UkaGaster's answers about Toriel really interest me :3c#As evidenced by the quote caption lol - but his other ones are very interesting too! Since it sounds like she's still around!#Poor classic Handplates!Gaster believed Tori dead for such a long time while she was at the Ruins#Meanwhile Fellplates!Gaster is just like ''? I saw the Queen last week she threw me into the pricker bushes? -.Ć²'' lol#But anyhow lol āŖ The implications that they're still in each other's vicinity really makes me curious about their relationship!#And how Toriel might react to knowing that someone - someone other than her - is having So Much Success on one of her sore spots#Not just of having children but of the constant reminders of Gaster's success where she has to live every day with a heavy heart for her own#Being cruel to him over it - well that's just par for the course isn't it āŖ#He mentions that she's much more of an emotional sadist - insulting him and then making it Very clear that she does Not approve of the holes#''They're ugly and you should feel ashamed for drawing so much attention to something so unsightly''#I do think that her knowing that he's so intent on being kind and merciful and then twisting the knife on how much he's hurting her-#Making him feel guilty for daring to even attempt the betterment of all - for giving pieces of himself away and try to be a good person#''If anyone will break my spirit it will be her'' :)#Although that's all assuming that Toriel even knows about the brothers! :0 When I thought about it later it'd make more sense if she doesn't#It was still too good to not do something with the idea hehe - but imagine her betrayal if/when she found out tho she'd kill him on the spot#Gosh I haven't drawn Tori in foreeeeever I can't even remember the last time#Doing a/nother study on her would probably be fun haha she's rather plain how I draw her currently#I wonder if her Fellplates version would also wear reading glasses hehe#And the bonus :3c Where are the plates featured in Fellplates? Surely it's not just called that as a reference right āŖ Hehehe
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but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore
#also known as 'he wants so badly to run away with his boyfriend and marry him and live happily ever#after'#but his commitment to dutch and the gang breaks his heart#i want them to be happy SO BAAAD SO BAD IM GOINGN TO THROW YP#also the top right one comes w a headcanon#which is that kieran can only bathe if javier is there (and only javier) because otherwise he's too terrified of being k*lled for either bei#ng trans or just in general because he's alone#so that's why he's usually stinky#he really hates being stinky but he doesn't consider it worth dying over#anyway i love them so bad and their little fishing dates#kieran infodumps the whole time and javier feels so lucky to be alive because he knows kieran doesn't talk around anyone else near as much#if at all#javier knows 99% of the fish knowledge but he never interrupts and is always happy to listen to kieran yap about every other topic too#i need to put javi in an 'i ā¤ļø my autistic boyfriend' shirt#ok i'll shut up now#also i know this composition looks like total shart i'm literally the worst at doing them </3 be nice to me#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#am i allowed to say that i own this ship#considering i literally made it LOL i feel so proud even tho it also makes me miserable that i bascially have no one to talk to abt them#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds Iāve ever seen in any art ever
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#thank you!#softest beds is a whole new compliment that's so sweet#let me go off on a weird and personal tangent for a minute#I've always found the concept of sleeping very touching somehow#it's this mandatory resting period literally everyone has to plan their life around no one has the power to avoid sleeping#if you neglect it your mind and body start to break down very quickly#sleep is such a neutral state of being no one is particularly sad or happy or evil or good while they're asleep they're just logged off#sleeping feels nice it's rejuvenating it's one of the few universal pleasures every single person has an access to#and I find it terribly cute how people have different little bedtime rituals#socks on socks off various pillow and blanket arrangements certain sounds that make them sleepy etc#and sleeping next to someone is such an act of trust#it's extremely intimate as is sex doesn't necessarily have to factor into it#getting comfortable and going unconscious with someone at the same place at the same time that just touches my heart#especially if you're invited into their bed which is a very private space a person's own little nest where the world can't reach them#even if you fall asleep in public transport there's this vulnerability to it and for the most part people respect the sanctity of sleep#and tend to leave sleeping people alone at least in my limited experience#I like drawing my characters sleeping because it feels like I'm doing them a favor granting them a little respite#anonymous#answered
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thinking about the headcanon where jack gives super tight spine-popping hugs and pairing it with an oh so wondrous vision of a snake coiling himself around the unfortunate mice heās decided to love forever
#additionally I am also thinking about how it could possibly be unfortunate that jack was ever loved against TFWās better judgment of him#sigh#twirls hair heās so intrinsically tragic#cal.txt#spn#supernatural#spn headcanon#jack kline#dean winchester#castiel#sam winchester#tfw2.0#the fact that heās canonically overprotective to the point of ruthlessness ā¦ sensational#the snake motif is so strong with jack please guys. Iām gonna throw up#every time jack hugs one of the guys I remember he canonically is strong enough to rip hearts out of chests#and break triple locks on doors and lift ppl his own size up like theyāre mere balloons#characters with brute strength and a gentle nature are my bread and butter I do Nawt play about them
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I miss you Lornaā¦ this is such a mess
This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope youāre all doing well!! Iām sorry to see nothing has improved.
I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. š
Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.
The video is still on YT.
#Anywayyyyy#The fandom added a whole lot more C to my C-PTSD#So a nice random message every few months instead of a freshly posted death wish is LOVELY.#Donāt fret. On meds and therapied but fresh tf out of money from it so @ L and Hā¦ lornasaurusrexx at g*ail is the PayPal if ur bored š#I hate to be like this but protect your hearts. Theyāll never be able to look out for you guys and they feed these trolls ammo for snacks#and it seems to have only gotten worse. Gotta keep them hets hetbaited for their money whilst actively encouraging them to bully yall? Why?#STILL!? At this point it feels like theyāve both chosen that path deliberately now and I find it quite gross. but Iām also very far removed#So donāt worry about my opinions. Keep trusting your own intuition!!! You all see it. I love you guys and your beautiful hearts and empathy#But I hope they can sleep at night knowing the absolute fucking genuine WRECKAGE they left across the Big Gay War generation/era of Larries#Donāt worry guys Iām just as dramatic as ever. None of this has anything to do with them coming out or anything. Just how we were treated.#But trust I fuckin mean that shit from the deepest darkest pit of my Demon Larrieā¢ļø heart. They encouraged this. š¤·š¼āāļø#Anyone who cares about my actual life updates: Iām a school nurse now and will be working at a bougie summer camp over break#Had a surgery I needed. Got new tattoos and piercings. In a happy and healthy relationship with the best dude for almost a year now.#OH and I went to New Zealand last year with Prettytruthsandlies!!!! We made a pact back in our Big Gay War/college days to go. And we DID!!#I got overstimulated and overfed and puked in Hobbiton. š¤£ (It was the best time of my LIFE GENUINELYš„°š„°š„°š„°š„¹š„¹š„¹)#Okay BYE LOVE YOU GUYS#There are better and more humane ways to maintain a closet ..like literally STFU entirely. Ignoring it and not exploiting a kid is FREE#šµšø
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#I will riot if they give me the HCA āLittle Mermaidā ending for these two#the meta in the show ššš#I just hope that is a sort of implication and not a foreshadowing of their ending#NO webtoon ending please#if Seo Hye Rang is the little mermaid then the show needs to give her ājusticeā despite her wrongdoings#in the form of forgiveness and continuing love from Ok Gyeong#and I truly hope we get a mini-redemption arc for Hye Rang#she deserves it so much#she is not a bad person#just too obsessive and jealous with her love#I wonder whether her backstory in the drama will be the same as the webtoon#because that is even more reason for her to get her redemption ššš#you need to speak to HR MOG#I donāt even like Hye Rang as a character all that much#but by god#I feel so much heartbreak for her despite my lack of love#Kim Yoon Hye is so brilliant and flawless in her portrayal and performance#every time she stares at MOG in yearning my heart breaks for her#moon ok gyeong#seo hye rang#Moon Ok Gyeong X Seo Hye Rang#she is doing all this foolishness for you#and āeven though she is wrong she did it out of love (and her own issues obviously)#but she is so sympathetic ššš#despite not being anywhere good#jung eun chae#kim yoon hye#jeongnyeon: the star is born#and MOG: you are problematic in your own ways too#hoping against hope these two are given a chance at happiness by the end
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if you could erase one popular fanon interpretation from the asoiaf fandom forever, what would it be?
That Jaehaerys was ābasically a feministā because he sometimes listened to his wife š
#I may just be a hater on main for this man but like. come on guys.#surely we can do better than the guy who overthrew his nieces- forced his own mother back into an abusive marriage until it killed her-#wouldnāt let his daughter rule as queen in her own right- forced his other daughter to marry and die in childbirth extremely young-#BANISHED his other daughter for having premarital sex- kept forcing his wife to get pregnant despite the plentiful health concerns-#only *really* listened to his wife if it convenienced him AND didnāt allow his own granddaughter to rule in favour of his son and grandson#like- YāALL!!!! every sign in the book is pointing to him very much NOT being a feminist!! he is a menace to every woman he meets!!!!#it breaks my little heart every time I hear a youtuber I respect say jaehaerys is a feminist š come onnnn guys!!!!!#asoiaf
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Send me good wishes yall. I'm going to try and work on some late work when I get home but I'm chronically bad at doing that without an energy drink but I'm not ready for the impending doom of selling my soul to energy drinks so I can function
Uuhhhhhhhhh I accidentally went on a tangent and there's a whole vent in the tags oopsies
#i already get an energy drink every time on my lunch break at work. but thats partly cause im not too fond of my current job anyways#i dont need perfect grades just. as long as theyre passing i dont care#and are still passing grades after whatverr the finals do to it#im going to a trade school anyways gpa doesnt matter. ive just. QUITE LITERALLY. spent my whole life smacking my head into a desk-#-cause of school. and im so desperate to get my ass outta here. It'll be so much easier cause i will be free from family too#once i get my own place that is. I honest to God would rather sell my soul to two jobs and come home to peace and breathe#than this hell now. being at school is tourment and being at home is tourment. cant wait till im actually HOME. and not some. house.#home is where the dodge challenger that i will sleep in is. home is where the heart is. and my heart isnt anywhere here.#just. one more year. i can get my license at my brithday which is all the way in decemeber but. one more year from now#and I can scrape by and graduate and say adios.#i refuse to acknowledge the scenerio of not making it cause. fuck it we ball or something. am i using that saying right#i already did my time in prison(summer school)#i dont know about yall but summer school was honestly one of the WORST expereinces ive ever been in. horrible.
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to youšššššš#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED šššššššš«š«š«š«š«šŖšŖ#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know š. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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Oagh thinking trisona thoughts
#im still like cooking a design for him but like#ok i havent talked abt this but i f/o but vash and knives (separately) and i like to break my own heart right#its sand falling though ur fingers#and i keep thinking that like ultimately my guy is aligned with knives first and foremost (thats a key thing)#so like vashverse (thats what im calling it where he guns for vash instead of knives) its like hey check this out how tragic#could i possibly make this right#bc rosario (trisona; thats his name) will always put his loyalties to knives and the ghg before anything else#that includes vash#so every time they do come together its never set in stone when itll be the last#theyre just biding their time until the inevitable#double owie if you consider ww into the equation bc looks wise rosario and ww look eerily similar#so going off of like vashwood thats like so theres this guy that looks like ur dead bf hope that doesnt cause any problems#i think their involvement hinges on that loss being fresh too; a perfectly aligned coincidence#trying to fill a hole someone left behind with someone else#AGHHH they drive me crazy bc theyre always coming together like stars on course collision; always dancing around eachother never to fully#meet and when they do meet the mutually assured destruction of one of them is guaranteed#(listen all the ghgs DIE; rosario is no exception)#anyway go crazy go stupid its 3 am aaaa#its sand falling thru ur fingers#bird chirps.txt
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starting to realise that damn maybe there really is just something fundamentally wrong with me
I have more dumb shit to say about it but you can only have 30 tags?? that's some fucking bullshit. anyway tl;dr: fictional characters not real, I'm depressed about it, I'm a mess my life's a mess everything sucks, I'm crying, life sucks. I've got issues.
#I don't want to be dead#I want to be alive but. not here. there's nothing that could happen in my actual life that would make it good enough to be worth it#I feel so fucking pathetic and gross and broken but the only people I want to be with are fictional#I can't even do the fandom thing and make friends that way. I don't want to talk about them. I want to be with them and nothing else#I'm just. stuck here and I'll never be happy and there will never be anything that I want as much as that#it's so. fucking. pathetic#but like what is there in real life. what could happen that would be good enough. I'll finish uni one way or the other. I'll get a job.#maybe we'll be able to have our own house someday#and then? what then?#it'll happen over and over again. I'll fall in love with these fictional worlds and these fictional people and it'll break my heart every#time again and again until I die#there's nothing else. there's nothing that I want. nothing in real life will ever feel that good because. obviously it won't. it's real.#it's not perfect it's not made up by me specifically to be everything I want#I can't rewrite the same scenario over and over again in my mind until he says exactly the right thing to make me feel better#I'll never have these perfect friends or this perfect guy or this exciting but safe life because it's. just. not real#I just#I don't know how I can keep doing this#I'm so tired#I can't keep feeling like this#it feels so fucking bad#how goddamn embarrassing is it to be an adult in your 30s and just. lie in bed sobbing until you fall asleep because your fucking fictional#crush isn't real and your fictional friends aren't real and you'll never know what happiness feels like#because it can't even get close to the fucking joy you feel when you think about them. it's everything#it feels so fucking good just for a moment and you need it over and over again but you know you can never have it#I'm driving myself insane#genuinely insane.#to the point where every time it gets worse. every time I get these feelings I feel higher and lower than ever before#it feels better and more intense and more amazing. then I realise I still have to be here. I still can't go away. and it feels like dying.#every time a part of me dies.#it's so fucking silly. I know how melodramatic this all is. oh wahh life is so boring and I'm sooo sad over these fictional people I'm gonn
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writing dragon age fanfiction is so so so so hard for me because every time i spot another historical inaccuracy thatās like āi donāt care that itās fantasy they have the same level of technology this is WRONGā i have to have a moment of like. ākaed NO ONE ELSE will EVER care about this. you watch āranking period dramas on corset accuracy both in construction and writingā videos on youtube for entertainment normal people simply do not give a FUCK about medieval castle layouts!ā
and yet this cycle continues, because the dragon age devs so so so so clearly DID research but they did BAD research and it HAUNTS me. like WHYYYYY is there only one courtyard that isnāt even really a courtyard in castle cousland WHY is the āmain hallā huge with no furniture while the great hall ādining roomā is tiny as fuck and in a horrible to access spot WHY are there no ovens in the kitchens where the FUCK do they bake the breaaaad!! like ok fine cool servants get beds in thedas iāll bite. that fucks hard, actually! but WHY are there more servant rooms than rooms for visiting nobles do you honestly think anybody in the middle ages fucking had servant rooms???? they slept on the FLOOR in the GREAT HALL! and WHY is there a fucking library and a ātreasuryā (which what the fuck is THAT there should be a DON-JON in there you locked your valuables in the TOWER at the TOP, not in ONE room centrally located on the first floor with TWO guards!!) like i KNOW it was for level design i KNOW it was but oh my fucking g-d itās gonna KILL ME to write out creeping through corridors when there WERE NO CORRIDORS! like look at this. look at this.
castle cousland: stupid, awful design, honestly they kinda asked to be coupāed with their garbage unsurvivable castle that supposedly nobody sieges regularly even though itās literally a death trap. there is ONE main exit, no way to trap your enemies, and only one official guard post that i can see. fuck awful.
harlech castle in wales: it took 115 years for someone to successfully take this castle, and itās withstood COUNTLESS sieges, you can go visit it right the hell now if you go to wales (not at all getting into the evilness of the english building castles in wales, thatās not the point iām trying to make.) see how the outside makes it so that even if your enemies breach the walls, to actually reach anyone important they have to survive the volleys of arrows from the ramparts? and then presumably kill everyone ON the ramparts, or the minute you go to open a door or try to drag someone out, youāre going to get shot full of arrows. thatās after breaching TWO heavy doors (which would require a battering ram both times) which would wake up the entire castle LONG before they got anywhere NEAR the heir to the castleās wife and child.
and before somebody says āoh well kaed maybe you just donāt know your castle building periods very wellā think again. i know my castle building periods. that style above is concentric (harlech castleās initial construction was finished in 1289 and was one of the first finished castles in england in this style,) which came after the keep and bailey style, which came after the motte-and-bailey style, which came after the burh (which arguably WASNāT a castle but whatever,) etc. there are no fortified castles in english history that look like castle cousland, because itās fucking indefensible. now, this does lead to the question of āoh, well, what is the timeline for the game, maybe thereās something you missed!ā so letās examine the time period of origins:
at the very, very latest, origins could be based off of the BEGINNING of the british āwars of the rosesā (the civil wars between the various members of the house plantagenet) which began in the 1450sā this is personally what /i/ think origins is based off of, for a couple reasons. 1) trevelyan was a real personā g.m. trevelyan was a british historian who wrote about the wars of the roses, and in one instance thereās a quote of his the devs almost verbatim used for the design of the free marches: āthe Wars of the Roses were to a large extent a quarrel between Welsh Marcher Lords, who were also great English nobles, closely related to the English throneā¦ā they ixnayed the part about the marcher lords being ferelden nobles, i imagine because it was too complicated, but trevelyan? marcher lords? a close relationship with this country? (i.e. like somewhere that might take in their refugees after a catastrophe?) cmon. 2) because ferelden is fucking huge and the histories are kinda weird, because they arenāt 1 for 1, iām gonna say that we have to use the norman conquest of england as our unification date. in other contexts i wouldnāt try to argue this, but in this one, iām saying 1066 is the unification date of the anglo-saxon kingdoms into england. calenhad gives us a hard unification date for fereldenā the first landsmeet was in 5:42 exalted, ergo origins is 388 years later. the wars of the roses started in 1455, 389 years after the norman conquest ended. 3) the wars of the roses happened because of a succession crisisā admittedly, these two succession crises are very, very different, but there are definitely parallels between loghain and henry vi and alistair and edward iv. henry vi was crowned at a young age (loghain largely ruled for maric at various points in his life, starting when he was very young,) and was very ineffectualā he suffered from an unknown mental illness which made him extremely unstable and unable to rule for large periods of time. loghain, on the other hand, ruled when the /theirins/ werenāt stable, so you argue he had the oppositeā meanwhile, his policies WERENāT sustainable, whatever you might think of him. loghain is too shaped by his own experiences to be a truly good leader, and by the time his rule/anoraās rule is threatened by cailan, heās sacrificed enough of his principles that heās willing to commit atrocities (notably, margaret of anjou ruled during the worst parts of her husbandās mental instability, which again could apply to loghain OR anora, as they ruled fairly jointly after a certain point.) edward iv was the son of richard of york, who was eligible for the throne at a very young age (18 to alistairās 19) because his father was dead. he was coaxed and led into battle by his cousin, the earl of warwick (also known as the kingmakerā sound like a protagonist you might know?) thatās about where the similarities end, but thatās largely because alistair is a grey wardenā if he werenāt, heād probably be able to have kids and end the question of succession. but he canāt, which, assuming the devs eventually remember, WILL lead to another civil war. hence why i say this is at the BEGINNING of the wars of the roses.
another option that could be argued but makes much less sense and i have no evidence for is that alistair has similarities to edward ii (second son who only became king because his brother died, married a more powerful woman to consolidate power, not very good at ruling, no offense to alistair,) but that still puts origins at like 1307-1327. in either case, they would have been using concentric castlesā and given what time period castle cousland was originally built in, it would have been built as a motte-and-bailey, which would NOT have lasted four hundred years. so the castle had to have been rebuilt, and bryce cousland would have had to update that rebuilt castle, because no one lived in it during the orlesian occupation. so where the hell does this winding, weird multi-level design come from?
i GUESSā and this is SO charitableā they could have designed castle cousland based off of a country house design from the mid 1500s, but none of them look like that, either. theyāre exclusively rectangular, for one thing, and one of the huge bragging rights of owning one was that they werenāt fortifiedā they came into fashion during a period of relative stability under the tudor rule, when it was considered guache and maybe even treasonous to build a fortified castle. ferelden is NOWHERE NEAR a period of stability, if anything at the end of origins theyāre entering their greatest period of INstability, given what happens in inquisition, and that no matter who ends up on the throne, thereās no way for them to have children. so thereās NO way this castle is a country house, or inspired by one.
leaving us with the final conclusion that a) the game devs definitely did do research into the time period because i can fairly directly trace a line between the event i think inspired origins and the plot, but they didnāt do enough research to figure out what the everloving fuck the BUILDINGS looked like. so these castles make no fucking sense and canāt possibly be called historically accurate even with the fantasy defense, and b) i care WAAAY too much about this for somebody who isnāt even a medieval historian. my area of expertise is the paleolithic, i have no clue why this bugs me so bad i spent four fucking hours writing this post.
#anyone: so what are you getting up to on spring break? me: uhhhhhhhhhhh *spends four hours writing a bioware calloit post about their#historically inaccurate castles* Normal Things#it took me four hours bc i had to pare it down like 8 times btw. i could have kept going#btw there are image descriptions on the maps#dragon age origins#dragon age#long post#actually i take it back i DO know why it bugs me and itās because they made this g-dawful design part of the plot on every single occasion#like highever? would never have been sacked if not for this design. redcliffe? whole story is about infiltrating this castle through these#extensive dungeons they never would have fucking built bc thereās no use for them. the palace in denerim (which doesnāt even have a name)#is so so so fucked. we canāt even get into it but i HATE it. denerim is a city small enough that not all the banns arls and teyrns can have#their own estates in the city meaning they would need rooms in the palace dedicated to them. where are those rooms??? ifās tiny as hell. all#they needed to do was to put up some extra wings you canāt go into thatās all they needed. iām so so so annoyed by this itās such a pet#peeve of mine. especially since skyhold is SOOOOOO good ifās the pinnacle of dragon age buildings no one else will ever be her#thereās multiple courtyards. thereās a garden. thereās the stables centrally located there are concentric walls thereās that weird palace#thing in the center with the worldās hottest great hall. thereās a FORGE thereās a keep thereās a guest wing thereās a tabern thereās#ANOTHER tower you can build there are sentry posts thereās a gatehouse thereās a bridge no one will ever replace her in my heart i know this#skyhold baby you are so so so sexy and delicious and everything a fantasy castle in a video game should be MWAH
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(a love story in five parts:)
"You could do anything to me, and I'd let you. ... Tell me you love me, at least. Please. I need to know somebody does."
"I always think of a passage from the Symposium, this allegory about people who started off as two halves of a whole, but then something cut them apart and they spend their whole lives looking for the other half so they can fit themselves back together. And that's how it feels. It hurts. It's like I lost you before I was born."
"I know why you fuck me like you wish you could kill me. I know everything that gets you off, you can't help but show me. There's no part of you that I can't see."
"Because it wasn't as if they'd never hurt each other before-- between them, it was a kind of tenderness, writing themselves onto each other's bodies with every mark they left. It was a promise: I'm here, I've always been here. Pain was a necessary consequence, but that was all it was."
"All they were-- all they had ever been-- was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun."
x. "These Violent Delights", Micah Nemerever
#These Violent Delights#Micah Nemerever#š#i have been waiting for this book for AGES. i got the rec forever agoooo&it was so worth the wait im clawing out of my skin LMAO.#the way that song of achilles invoked feelings uncomfortably close to my love at what would arguably be its best#there were scenes in this book that made me need to put it down&decompress bc they were uncomfortably close#to actual experiences i had in my actual marriage lmao.#it was actually... fascinating. seeing this story from the pov of someone whos thought processes reminded me so much of#one of the most profoundly abusive ppl i have ever had the misfortune of being involved w LMAO.#it was incredibly written. so much so that when the narrative would devolve into stints that were obviously&heavily unreliable--#i had to. stop. for a sec. lmao.#paul would spiral out of control while dissecting julian&the tone. the way-- even in his own head-- there was nothing julian could#do or say to make him believe that he loved him or cared about him or wasnt manipulating him. it was. intense. lmao.#so obviously i am fucking OBSESSED ššš#this came at such a good time-- 'if itll keep my heart soft break my heart every day'. :')ā”
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SHARE 10 FACTS ABOUT YOUR MUSES
So I got two asks asking me about Sweetest Abrogail/Abby SO HERE YA GO! thanks @acrossthesestars and @nikolaislanstovs/@dragonsbone
She has a properly giant maine coone cat whose black and grey, and his name is Theraxis because everyone else has dragons and she doesn't.
The 'I can fix him' energy plus 'Excuse me they asked for no pickles' but all done in the sweetest, nicest way possible.
Officially, she follows the Seven, however the Strong family still follow the Old Gods. You could call the mashup 'Faith of the Weirwood', which in my headcanon, a lot of Riverland families follow. An amalgamation of the Old Ways and the ways of the Seven (and if you're a GoT mod player on CK3, you know what i'm talking about).
Abby is a Pisces! (she was almost a Taurus but a lot of my OCs in the recent past were Taurus and I needed a change)
Abby is about three months younger than Helaena, and seven months older than Aemond.
She enjoys the opportunity to go horseback riding, and wants to get more comfortable with it (there just hasn't been the opportunity). She's learned archery and enjoys it.
Aemond taught her how to wield a dagger after Harwin died. She is pretty good at it but doesn't like to/want to have to use it. But the idea was that she would be able to defend herself and Helaena
Helaena Targaryen was her first kiss. Sorry boys.
At night, Abby will wake up and pace around, checking the locks on the doors and the fire and the windows to make sure that a fire doesn't happen in the middle of the night and she can't escape. It gets harder when she can't check on her loved ones.
Abby is called The Marchpane Maiden, but her favorite dessert is strawberry and cherry tarts
#fic: the maiden and the drowning boy#oc: abrogail strong#aegon ii targaryen x oc#this actually really got me and I had to think about some thoughtful facts about her!#9 gets me every fucking time and it kinda fucking breaks my heart because she's not afraid of fire#but the way harwin and lyonel died was traumatic af#and I think sometimes there's almost a sleepwalking like quality to it#where if she starts leaving the room#aegon waits for her and lets her do it on her own#and then wraps her up and just sorta soothe her anxiety#this is how something something something happens in arc 2 >>#aegon x abby
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help me with a touch of horny (and a sprinkle of uwu & pain because you're so nice but your soulmate fic is out to get me I swear lol)
i'm giving you time to breathe in my current horny moment because i will soon be back to my usual angst repertoire <3
#i've been thinking a lot about joan abandoning eddie like everyone else in his life#like unintentionally#but she still did it#and i break my own heart every time i do :')#aud š¹#inbox#ask game
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#jung eun chae#kim yoon hye#Jeong Nyeon: The Star is Born#Ep 7#moon ok gyeong#seo hye rang#these two vex me like no other#couple therapy is made with these people in mind#and individual therapy too#especially SHR#but for whatever her faults and misguided+idiotic+unwise+jealous behaviour#I feel very sympathetic towards SHR#something I donāt understand all too well because I donāt like her all that much#neither her looks nor her character#but every time I look at her I see a damaged and fragile character#and my heart just aches for her#learning about her webtoon backstory does not help#I truly hope there is a mini-redemption arc for her#she is not a āgoodā person but neither is she wicked#just a traumatized woman seeking to seek her own justice and love#from another woman who will disappoint her again#am here for Moon Ok Gyeong and her fangirl#and I still feel like slapping MOG over the head too often to be at all healthy#these two are killing me#either have a clean break up or talk things out FFS#drama-MOG is not even in the wrong and I still feel resentful of her#all I can say is that Kim Yoon Hye was perfectly casted and performed SHR flawlessly#though I do think MOG shared a lot of blame despite her not directly being the ābad guyā#please drama something good for these two in the end šššš„ŗš¤š½š¤š½š¤š½#I donāt want to have to headcanon my own ending again š
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