#I hate to be like this but protect your hearts. They’ll never be able to look out for you guys and they feed these trolls ammo for snacks

[lornasaurusrex]

I miss you Lorna… this is such a mess

This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope you’re all doing well!! I’m sorry to see nothing has improved.

I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. 💕

Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.

The video is still on YT.

[thoughts-of-bear]

The birthday gift

A Halsin x reader fanfiction | Explicit, 18+ | 7k words A/N: Okay since the Halsin brainrot has had its hold on me for ages, I started this fic on my birthday in december, not expecting to ever finish it because I have literally never finished anything I've started writing before- until now. I got inspired to write this by this post (for the birthday part, the smut part is my own horny imagination) and well, this is the final product. Since it's my first time publishing any of my writing and writing smut at all, please be kind with me XD Summary: Your companions prepare a surprise birthday party for you, Halsin sees you in your new dress, you two dancing leads to him confessing his feelings for you and a very happy ending... CW: halsin x f!reader, virgin reader, halsin eating pussy, fingering, p in v sex, breeding, rough sex i guess, halsin being the man he is, all that stuff idk what to write here really

I hope you enjoy it, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3

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You and your companions had finally reached Baldur’s Gate. It’s still morning when you enter Rivington that day and the streets are busy with all kinds of people, many seemingly refugees from Elturel and farther away, here to find shelter in the city. As you continue down the road to the village in front of the city gates, you are stopped by a little red-headed girl.

“Erm. ‘Scuse me, I can’t find my mum.” She looks worn out and as if she has recently been crying.

“Where did you last see her?” you ask as you bend down to her, smiling to show you want to help.

“She went to go get some herbs - for her spots” she gestures towards her face. “She was sick. And she was supposed to come back the same day.” She pauses before adding, “That was last tenday though.”

“Let’s go find a guard. They’ll be able to help you”, you propose.

The girl shakes her head. “Guards blow like petards. They don’t help us.”

Your heart sinks at these words. It seems all these people were here because the city wouldn’t take them in. And the guards are no help either, apparently. You wonder what happened to your city, where once everyone was welcome.

Halsin sighs and shakes his head in disapproval. “This city is a poor place to be in need of help. Even the guards can’t be trusted to protect the most vulnerable.”

You silently agree and think of how you could help that girl. You decide to spare a few coins, so she can buy herself some food.

“I don’t know where your mum is, but here - take a few coins”, you offer her, not able to tell her that her mother is most likely dead. Halsin smiles at you warmly as you shoot him a quick glance, the sight making your heart skip a beat.

“Oh - erm. Thank you so much! I don’t have anything and you can’t do anything without any coin”, the little girl exclaims, bobbing on her toes and suddenly looking a little less tired. “I’ll pay you back. When I find my mum.” She turns around and bolts. “No need, it’s a gift!” you call after her but she has already vanished in the crowd.

You finally arrive at Wyrm’s Rock Crossing in the evening, after you had snuck past one of the new city guards - the so-called Steel Watch - and promised to investigate the murder of the local Ilmater priest. Another incident that seems to fuel the hate towards the refugees.

And that isn’t even all. The city is closed, even for you as a Baldurian, and to get in you’d need an Admission Pass - or wings. You sigh. You just want to get into the city, rent a room in the Elfsong and think about what to do next, now that the Absolute’s army must soon be upon the city.

It’s all too much and too little time. And you can’t just turn away from the people you met in Rivington either, they need help just as much as you need to find out how to beat the Absolute’s Chosen and get rid of the tadpoles.

When you make your way around camp that evening, checking up on your companions, Halsin notices your exhaustion, the way you slump your shoulders and how your usually impeccable stance falters. He wants to relieve you of at least a bit of the tension, so when you walk over to him, he offers you a massage. The things he wants to say to you can wait until tomorrow.

“Thank you, Halsin”, you accept, his hands turning you around and gently pushing you down to sit on your knees before him. You sigh as his broad hands knead the tension from your back and by the time he is finished, you feel like a sleepy, boneless lump of flesh, muscles completely relaxed. You thank Halsin again before you retire to your bedroll, the hopeful thought that the offer might’ve been more than Halsin’s usual kindness crossing your mind before you drift off to sleep.

The next evening, you were finally inside the city walls. You consider the new information of the day. How you got your hands on an invitation to the celebration at Wyrm’s rock fortress, your disbelief to see that it was Lord Gortash’s coronation as Arch Duke, how he made the tadpoled Duke Ravengard give up his power and how Bane’s Chosen then proposed an alliance against Orin, the shapeshifter that had already approached you in Rivington. You had agreed to kill her, but you definitely wouldn’t leave Gortash his Netherstone. But that is a problem for another day. You had managed to get a room in the Elfsong Tavern and as usual you make your way through it to hear what your companions think of all that had happened today. Most approve of your decision. Halsin is the last person you speak to and as always, he has just the right words to ease your worries. For now, at least.

“Wait-”, he grabs your arm before you can leave. “I didn’t thank you yet.” His large hand is warm and makes your skin tingle where it touches you.

“Thank me? For what?” He chuckles at your puzzled look. “For all that you did in Rivington yesterday. You have so many worries and yet you still go out of your way to help those in need. The way you made that little girl smile, or how you didn’t hesitate to investigate what happened to that Ilmater priest.” A blush creeps up your cheeks as he continues. “I’m afraid Nature’s balance can never be restored in a city like this, but seeing what you do every day without expecting anything in return gives me hope. And for that I thank you.” You smile up at him, lost for words with your heart beating fast.

“I appreciate you saying this. I wish I could to more, to help everyone, but if I can at least do a little good, it’s worth the exhaustion at the end of the day”, you eventually admit with a smile. Halsin grins. “You’re too modest. I wager you don’t even know how extraordinary you truly are.” Your cheeks blush an even deeper red at those words and only when you retire to bed for the evening does your heart resume its normal pace again. But the warm feeling Halsin’s presence gave you remained for the night.

After you had the first proper breakfast since your crash with the Nautiloid, you feel ready to explore the city and find out how to best deal with all your problems. You hadn’t particularly missed the bustle and noise of your old home, but you can’t help feeling safer now that you were in familiar surroundings again.

Gale proposed to go to Sorcerous Sundries, both to find out more about the Elderbrain’s crown and to see what the wizard there wants with your companion Nightsong. Since you don’t have an idea where to find Orin yet, you figure that this is as good as any other thing you could be doing. 

The way from Elfsong to the magic shop isn’t far and you still have some time before it opens, so you decide to stop by the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette to update yourself on any news you had missed in your absence and struggle with the Absolute.

Scanning the title page, you notice the date in the corner and your brows shoot up in surprise. Noticing this, Gale asks if you found anything important in the newspaper.

“No, it’s just that I realised today is my birthday and I've completely forgotten about it. That means we have been on the road for more than two months already”, you wonder aloud before you add, “It doesn’t feel that long.”

“Well, then we have to celebrate of course!” Gale exclaims happily. You smile at his enthusiasm but shake your head. “We have bigger problems for now. Let’s see what this Lorroakan wants with Dame Aylin and then get on with our business. Besides,” you shrug, “we didn’t celebrate birthdays in my monastery anyways so I won’t miss anything.”

“If you say so,” Gale replies and you turn your attention back towards the page you were studying before.

You had already forgotten about the conversation as you come into your chamber in the Elfsong, grateful for the few minutes alone during the bath you had taken and the respite for your tired body.

But the moment you enter the room, Karlach and Shadowheart drag you to a set dinner table, laden with the most delicious food you could imagine. There aren’t your ordinary fish heads and the mouldy bread you usually have to call supper, instead delicious smelling pork roasts, pies, glazed carrots and potatoes, deep red apples and more pile atop the table, all lovingly placed around a huge flower bouquet in the middle of it.

You are so overwhelmed by the amount of work your friends must’ve put into this, that you can only stutter a ‘thank you’ before Karlach announces, “Happy birthday soldier! Halsin, Gale and Shadowheart here told us that today is your birthday and you never had a proper party before, so we decided to prepare you a little something!” With a grin she gestures from the table to one of the unoccupied beds, where a few packages are placed.

“You brought me presents too? You really didn’t have to!” you exclaim in surprise. You are so touched that your friends -among all the trouble- still found time to prepare the presents and this party for you that you feel tears well up in your eyes.

“Darling, no need to cry,” Astarion laughs as he pushes you onto your designated chair. “This is a party and not a funeral! Go ahead and enjoy yourself, it’s your special day after all!”

With a sniff and a small chuckle at Astarion’s words you sit down properly. He is right, of course, and you all clearly enjoy having a small break from the worries you faced at the moment.

Smiling hesitantly, you grab some meat and vegetables and start to eat - it really is delicious. You revel in the laughter and conversations with your friends, your weariness from todays fight forgotten for the moment.

When all of you can’t possibly eat any more, Karlach drags you over to the bed with the presents. You can tell she is excited to see if you like the few things your companions managed to get you in the time they had for preparing, so you start unpacking.

The first present contains a book on the monastery you were raised in, with a handwritten note from Gale:

“I’m sure you already know most information this book has to offer, but I thought it might still bring you comfort and remind you of home.” You thank him with a tight hug and carefully place the book into your bag.

The next package is a bottle of the finest liquor of the Elfsong Tavern, plus a sparkler for every one of your companions which Karlach sets of immediately.

Laughing at her shenanigans, you reach for the last and biggest present. It is wrapped in red paper and decorated with a little white bow. You wonder where your companions had managed to find all those things while you carefully pull the paper open. Soon a dress falls out of the packaging and you gaze at it in awe. Your fingers trace the deep forest green fabric, intricate silver and gold patterns weaved into it.

“This is beautiful, thank you, truly!” you say earnestly. You still can’t quite believe that all this should be for you. “I thought you would like it”, smiles Shadowheart. “And I’m certain it will suit you beautifully. Go now - try it on!” she urges you.

You walk to the bathroom which still smells of the quince-scented soap you had used for your bath a few hours before. While changing, you bask in that warm feeling in your chest these moments among your friends always grant you. Whatever problems you had encountered, in your opinion they have all been worth it just for the people you found and let into your heart along the way. As cheesy as that sounds.

You regard yourself in the mirror. The dress is cut low and close-fitting, capturing your cleavage in a very flattering way. Maybe too flattering, if you think about it too much. This isn’t something you’d usually wear, but you have to admit that you like the way the dress looks on you. A bit insecure you go back into your room, where you are greeted with approving cheers and whistles from your friends.

“You look absolutely stunning”, Shadowheart admires. “I knew it would look good on you! Turn around please”, she commands. You do what you are told, with red cheeks at the compliment.

When you face Shadowheart again, you notice Halsin gazing at you with pure admiration - and something else you can’t quite place. You think you notice a golden shimmer in his eyes, but that could be a trick of the light considering all the candles in the room.

“I must admit, your neck looks very tempting in that dress but I know someone who is a lot hungrier for you than me right now”, Astarion remarks with a wicked grin and a sideward glance. You frown at him, though you can’t help your heart skipping a beat at these words. Could he possibly mean Halsin?

“Now, what would a party be without some music and dance?” Wyll interrupts your thoughts and as if these words have summoned her, the bard the party had met in the druid grove appears in the doorway.

“Alfira!” you exclaim happily and immediately rush over to hug her. “I’m so glad you got to Baldur’s Gate alright!”

Alfira grins at you. “Yes, thanks to you and your friends here. When they reached out to me today and told me it was your birthday, I just had to come! Wyll organised everything.” You nod to him in thanks. “Now, I don’t have anything to give you but just tell me what you want to hear and I will play it for you!”

“Thanks, Alfira, that’s more than enough for me”, you beam and lead her into the room towards your group. “Wyll, now is your chance to show me your dancing!” You say as you take his hand and pull him into the middle of the room, then you grab Karlach and Gale and start to move to the tune Alfira started to play. Karlach swirls you around and Wyll shows you the dance moves from court, which -to be honest- remind you a bit of the mating dances you had seen with a few bird species.

Out of breath from all the dancing and laughing, you request a slower tune from the tiefling bard. You manage to persuade Shadowheart to put away her wine for a moment and start to waltz around the room with her. She is quite the good dancer and you wonder where she had learned it, with her being raised in a Sharran temple and everything.

At the next tune, you approach Halsin. With your head light from the wine, you have finally gathered the courage to ask him for what you have secretly thought about the whole time.

Still, you can feel your heart beating in your throat. “Erm…Halsin, w-would you honour me with a dance?” you eventually manage to mumble out shyly.

“Of course, little flower. Whatever your heart desires.” That particular heart skips a beat at his intimate tone. “Although you might wish you hadn’t asked me that once you’ve seen my dancing”, he adds with a chuckle as he takes your hand.

He leads you into the room and starts to swirl you around to the melody of Alfira’s lute. He definitely isn’t as graceful as Shadowheart but certainly not as bad as he has made it sound. But even if he’d had the dancing skills of a bugbear, you wouldn’t have noticed. His large and warm hand around your waist and the smile with which he regards you sends your pulse through the ceiling. His smell of pine and honey and fresh air intoxicates you and it is hard to keep your feet from getting tangled in your dress.

When he leans down to you, you have to remind yourself to keep breathing. “Before you go and mingle again, I still have a present for you. I wasn’t sure if you would even like it”, he admits, “but I have decided to give it to you anyways.” When the tune ends, he leads you to the space in your room where his bed stands and bends down to search his pack.

You think about how long it took you to realise how attracted you are to the druid as you admire his strong back before you. Of course, you have noticed his kindness and compassion and you have always marvelled at the way he drew strength from nature. But only since you had some kind of break these last days have you begun to understand the depth of your affection for the man before you. It runs deeper than mere friendship and the echo of his hands on your back have awoken a hunger inside you that only grows stronger the more you look at Halsin. How desperately you hope that he feels the same way about you…

When he stands up to turn around, you quickly brush away the thought that has sent the heat into your cheeks again.

“You’re the only one who knows of my secret passion”, he begins jokingly, “so I thought you might accept this as my present for your special day.” He hands you a small whittled duck he has apparently made in the hours you were away from camp. You can’t help but tear up at the thought of how much effort he has put into all the details he has carved. There are even small webbed feet on the underside of the little duck.

“Thank you Halsin, this is an amazing gift!” You smile down at the little duck. “You are amazing”, you add quietly.

“With all that you have done for me, I should be the one thanking you night and day.” As you look into his eyes again you see that his gaze is now very solemn. “There was another reason for wanting to speak to you privately. I have lived a very long time. I have taken many lovers. My heart does not stir lightly. But it does now.” Your heart flutters in recognition of his words, the confession sending sparks across your skin.

“I want more than to fight at your side, or to sit around the campfire with you. I want to lay with you under the stars and feel your skin against mine.” Halsin’s gaze on you is intense, filling your chest with a burning heat that slowly spreads lower into your belly, as if the wine you have been drinking suddenly caught on fire inside of you.

Halsin continues, “I think you feel the same way - but tell me I’m wrong and the matter can rest. I do not wish to sour our friendship, but I have to know if it can be something more.”

You stare at him for a moment before you realise that he waits for your answer.

“Y-you’re not wrong, far from it”, you whisper. “I would like that very much.” You smile up at him and he takes your hand in his.

“May I kiss you?” he breathes out, relieved. You nod and he bends down to gently press his lips on yours.

His hand slides up your arm and to your back while he places his other behind your head, gently pulling you closer and deepening the kiss.

You feel his tongue prodding at your lips, demanding entrance and you happily oblige. The feeling of his soft lips on yours sends you spiralling and you can’t stifle the small moan that escapes you. Halsin sends out a silent prayer to Silvanus - if that is all it takes to make you moan, what sounds do you make when he finally gets to taste you? Groaning, his hand on your back slowly wanders lower, a silent question of permission in his eyes. You press your body against his as an answer, feeling the heat radiating off his chest … and lower.

Halsins hand grips your ass firmly, making you gasp, the other joining in and hoisting you up on his hips, turning you both around and pressing your back to the wall. You cannot stop the surprised squeak that escapes your lips at the sudden movement and Halsin presses his mouth on yours to stifle it.

The feeling of the growing bulge in his pants between your legs and the low moan Halsin utters before kissing you even more vigorously sends a shiver down your spine, pressure starting to build between your thighs.

In a desperate attempt to pull him closer, your hands grip Halsin’s hair, arms, everything you can reach. But before you can lose yourself in him, Halsin releases your lips, panting, and rests his forehead against yours.

“I would very much like to continue”, he whispers, his breathing ragged and voice hoarse with desire, “but the others will expect us back and I think you would probably like a bit more privacy.” He sighs and softly kisses your hair. “I will come to your bed when the party has ended, little flower. But don’t expect much sleep”, he adds with a wicked grin. You can only nod as he gently props you back on your feet.

With your head spinning, you get back to the others, averting your eyes from the knowing smirks of Astarion and Shadowheart noticing your ruffled hair and flushed cheeks. You ignore them, trying to engage in some more conversation and one or two dances while the thought of what awaits you won’t leave your head.

When the last of the party finally bids you goodnight, you hurry to bed, awaiting Halsin. You can’t get away from the echoes of his hands on your body, heart already racing again and warmth blooming in your belly. Even if he hadn’t promised you he’d come tonight, you would’ve been unable to sleep.

A soft rustle next to your ear startles you from your thoughts and as you turn your head, you could make out Halsin’s large figure in the dark, crouching beside your bed.

He cuts you off from what you wanted to say by placing a finger on your mouth, his other hand sliding under your back and pulling you into an upright position. With your heart beating into your throat, you take the hand Halsin offers as he gently beckons you to follow him into the corridor outside of the room the party shares, then further into a small but cosy bedroom on the next floor.

The door closes with a click and before you can say anything, Halsin sweeps you up into his arms, pressing you flat against the door and capturing your lips in a kiss that feels like it burns you from the inside.

Halsin’s fresh, earthy scent floods your senses as your tongues intertwine and your hands find their way into his hair, tugging at his braids. You whine when Halsin lets go of your lips, only to gasp as he starts nibbling and placing searing kisses on your jaw while his hands squeeze your ass firmly, bringing your bodies as close together as possible.

You moan at the growing ache between your thighs but plant your small fists against his shoulders anyway, gently pushing him away a bit. Halsin’s eyes, pupils wide and dark with desire, find yours.

“What is it my heart?” he asks, voice hoarse. “Do you want me to stop?” You see no disappointment in his gaze, only worry and your heart swells at how selfless your lover is. You avert your eyes, suddenly embarrassed to tell what troubles you.

“I- I j-just wanted t-to say that … um … well, I- I have never been with someone before”, you mumble eventually, averting your gaze as you blush furiously.

“Silvanus, preserve me”, Halsin groans out before almost dropping you and stumbling backwards, trying to steady himself on the small desk opposite the bed. With wide eyes you regard what is happening before you. Halsin drops to his knees, a deep animalistic growl coming from his lips as his eyes fill with golden light and he transforms into his huge bear form.

You gasp and nearly trip over your feet in an attempt to make room for the bear before you, but the animal fills almost the entire chamber. After finally regaining his composure, Halsin manages to change back into his elf form, with a snarl and a ragged breath coming from his lips.

“Forgive me. I- lost the run of myself.” He shakes his head in disgust at his outbreak, terrified that he has ruined this precious moment with you before it could properly begin, and slowly gets back to his feet. “Sometimes, when blood runs hot enough, it’s difficult to tame the beast. And the thought of you trusting me enough to share your first time with me … well, you saw what happened”, he smiles tentatively, slowly approaching you again with hesitation in his eyes.

“Don’t apologise”, you assure him with a shy smile. “I like it.” If possible, you blush even harder now. “Maybe for another time…?” you add, fidgeting nervously with the front of your dress.

A relieved grin spreads over Halsin’s face. “You like it..?”, he chuckles. “You are full of surprises, little flower.” As he steps forward, he bends down to gently plant a kiss on your cheek, only to proceed to bite at your earlobe which elicits a delicious moan from you.

“I’m glad you think so, but now you’ve made it even harder for me not to outright devour you”, his low voice whispers in your ear. “Nevertheless, I will be gentle. Or at least I’ll try to be.” You swallow hard, arousal sending shivers down your spine.

Halsin’s arms wrap around your waist again as he kisses your jaw, your forehead and nose, until eventually his lips find yours again, his tongue ravaging you like a man starving. His hands, this time directly shoving under your dress, firmly grip your thighs. He ruts against you, growling, his now rock-hard cock pressing against the confinements of his clothing.

His fingers trail higher up, kneading your ass, then stroking the soft skin of your back before slowly wandering even higher. His touch sends jolts through your body and you can feel the heat between your legs, already nearly too much to bear.

His eyes hold an unspoken question and when you nod, Halsin lifts your dress off and brings his mouth down on one of your breasts, the hand that’s not on your back now gently kneading the other, massaging the hardened nipple between his fingers. You mewl at the sensation, impossibly more pressure building between your thighs. Halsin gently bites down at your breast, only to run his tongue over it afterwards to soothe the mark he made. You moan and arch your back, desperately trying to press closer against Halsin’s still overly clothed erection, wanting to feel everything of him.

He growls and his mouth begins to place kisses down your front, between your breasts, on the soft flesh of your belly until he is on his knees before you, his warm breath fanning over you and flooding you with heat.

“More?” he asks, his pupils blown wide with lust, as his thumbs brush the soft skin between your legs. “Please”, you whine, knees almost too weak to stand and your underwear already embarrassingly soaked.

Halsin wastes no time, pressing kisses on the insides of your thighs, his one hand holding you in place and his other slowly -too slowly- sliding your panties down your legs. The sight of you bare and dripping with need before him almost makes him lose control again, makes him want to take you, devour you, fuck you, mark you and then fill you to the brim with his cum but with a groan he wills himself to calm down and be gentle with you. He won’t hurt you. He won’t.

He exhales deeply, lifting one of your legs up and slowly swiping his tongue through your wet folds, which earns him a choked gasp. His nose nudges your clit as his tongue starts stroking, slowly at first, then faster and with more pressure. You can’t help the way each expert swipe of his tongue makes your hips buck into his mouth as countless moans and sighs fall out of your mouth. Halsin growls in response, the vibrations around your sensitive bud making your legs shake. You can barely keep up and the coil in your belly is tightening ever faster with Halsin’s mouth sucking your clit and his tongue inside you.

“You are sweeter than honey, my heart”, he groans as his tongue presses flat against you. “Let me taste you as you come undone on my tongue.” With your mind clouded with lust, all you can do is moan out Halsin’s name and press yourself further against your lover’s mouth.

He understands anyway, now slowly dragging a thick finger through your dripping folds until he stops, teasingly pressing against your entrance. You whine, begging him to fill you, to do anything to release the overwhelming pressure between your thighs. When he finally thrusts into you, you can’t stifle the cry of pleasure that escapes your mouth. With Halsin’s finger now working your cunt open, his mouth continues its ministrations, licking and sucking your clit, soaking your legs with your slick.

With a wicked grin, Halsin inserts a second finger into your quivering hole, pushing inside over and over again, holding you firmly in place as you try to writhe away from the intense pleasure. His fingers coil upwards in response, hitting a spot inside you that makes you see stars.

“Please Halsin…”, you beg, toes curling and legs shaking, “I’m close- I- Oh!“

Moaning into your cunt, Halsin picks up his pace, his fingers pumping in and out of you as his tongue swipes over your clit again and again, bringing you closer to your end.

One more thrust with his fingers and a soft nip of his teeth against the sensitive bud between your legs is all it needs to send you spiralling over the edge. “Ha- Halsin!” you cry out, hips jerking violently and fingers digging into his shoulders as your orgasm hits you with the force of a lightning bolt. He moans at the sensations of your walls contracting around his fingers, the urge to take you and feel you squeeze his cock with your needy cunt almost overwhelming him.

You whine when he pulls his fingers out and stands up, bringing you in for a passionate kiss as you still struggle to regain your breath. Tasting yourself on Halsin’s tongue pulls a small moan from you and an embarrassed heat creeps up your back at the thought of how aroused you already are again.

With a smile, Halsin pulls away. “You are amazing, little flower”, he whispers breathlessly as he picks you up and gently places you on the bed, admiring your flushed body.

If Halsin’s tongue hadn’t just turned your mind to goo, you might have been able to return that compliment, but alas-

“May I go further?” Halsin asks and when you nod he swiftly discards of his clothes, you licking your lips at the sight of the elf naked before you. Your eyes take in his form, from his muscled arms down to the soft curve of his belly and- oh gods. Your eyes widen. You didn’t think he would be that big and the thought of him filling you makes you gulp down a mixture of fear and arousal.

Attentive as always, Halsin notices your insecurity and bends down to press gentle kisses against your ear. “We don’t have to do this, my heart…”, he whispers while he rubs soothing circles into your hips. He looks at you, his expression earnest. You bite your lip, thinking for a moment before answering. “N-no, I want this”, you assure him, your voice still weak but pleading now. The way you look so sweet with your little fangs on your lips makes Halsin feral and he kisses you again, desperate and more passionate this time. He groans into the kiss as he gently spreads your legs for him, lining up his tip with your dripping slit and sliding through your soft folds before stopping just at your entrance. The sensation of his hard length so close to entering you is enough to make your head fall back, eyes squeezed shut. “If it’s getting too much, tell me and I will stop immediately”, he whispers soothingly. “Now relax for me, little flower.”

All thoughts leave your head as Halsin slides in, agonizingly slow. The stretch would be painful if your lover hadn’t prepared you so thoroughly beforehand, but now you only feel pure bliss. Raising your head, you can see that he isn’t even halfway in but gods, you feel so full already that you can’t stifle the choked gasp that escapes your throat.

“You’re doing so well, my heart. Just a little bit more- mngh-!“ Halsin’s growl sends jolts through your spine as he finally bottoms out. You can see just how much effort it takes him to hold back by the way his jaw tenses and his chest is heaving.

“By Silvanus, you’re so tight-!“ A shiver crawls down his back, carrying a wave of soft golden light with it, as Halsin’s eyes light up with his magic for a moment. The thought of how you are able to bring your lover to the precipice of losing control is extremely flattering and you feel yourself clenching around Halsin’s cock, making him grunt in response. Finally somewhat accustoming to his size, you arch your back into the mattress below you. The new angle makes you moan in pleasure as you grip the sheets for support.

“Are you still feeling good, little flower?”, Halsin asks as he slides a hand from your hip under your back to support you. You can only form one thought. “More- please Halsin!” you whine desperately. You don’t have to ask twice, with a low growl he slides out - just to knock the breath out of you with his first, hard thrust. He sets a steady pace, one that leaves you moaning and gasping out his name. Halsin takes your small hands into his, pressing them into the bed beside you to pin you down, pushing into you deep and slow while he places bites and kisses on your throat and chest that will surely leave marks come morning.

Gods, Halsin thought. The sight of your small body sprawled beneath him, split apart by his thick cock while he fucks into you relentlessly is driving him insane. He is growling with every thrust now and each one of them makes you cry out in pleasure. It doesn’t take long until he has you on the precipice of release again, your cunt fluttering around Halsin’s length.

“H- halsin- please! I’m so close!” you can only beg, not sure if you can take much more, your body feeling like it might explode. “Come for me, my heart”, Halsin demands in a gravelly voice before pressing a thumb to your clit, rubbing and massaging until his name leaves your lips in a hoarse cry as your orgasm hits you with full force. Your hips jerk upwards, walls clenching around Halsin as you notice the tears from the overwhelming pleasure streaming down your face. He continues to pound into you, prolonging your release and muttering praises for you under his breath.

Through the fog in your mind you wonder how Halsin still has the energy to keep going, his pace unwavering while you are completely spent, gladly accepting whatever your lover has to give you as long as you’re not required to move.

So, you do not see it coming when Halsin suddenly pulls out of you, the unexpected emptiness making you whine in displeasure, only for him to flip you over and press your chest into the soft bedding while he gently raises your hips.

“I know it’s a lot right now but I need you to cum for me one more time, my heart”, Halsin huffs with a strained voice, pushing inside you once more and grabbing a fistful of your hair to keep you in place. The new position lets him slide even deeper than before and you can’t help the strangled cry that leaves you when Halsin starts pounding into you again, hitting a spot that makes your eyes roll back with blinding pleasure.

“’s too much- please-!” you sob, your poor overstimulated clit still trying to recover from the last orgasm. But Halsin doesn’t relent and you can feel sharp pricks on your hips where his hand grips you, fingers partially wild-shaped into claws and his head thrown back in ecstasy. Seeing just how feral you drive him makes your hole clench around his shaft, the squeeze causing his hips to stutter as a grunt leaves his lips. “Silvanus preserve me”, Halsin pants as he fucks into you even faster, “if you keep squeezing me like that I will not be able to stop myself from claiming you completely, from making you mine and filling you up with my seed.”

You whimper at the image of Halsin pumping his cum into you, fucking it deep into your womb until he is sure that it has taken hold. You cannot pretend you haven’t thought about it before, the idea usually sending an embarrassed heat into your cheeks, but now - gods, now you needed it.

Completely breathless you moan, “Halsin I- ah-! please-! Fill me with your cubs!” These words were the last needed for Halsin to lose himself completely in you, driving himself into you with punishing strokes that cause you to arch yourself into him while moans and whispered curses fall from both your lips. The coil in your stomach is so tight again and when Halsin takes the hand from your hip to softly press on your lower belly you see stars. Your walls clench around Halsin’s cock and you feel him twitch inside you, a sign that he too is close to release. All it takes to send you over the edge is his finger pressed against your clit, your body shaking violently beneath him, toes curling, while waves of ecstasy course through you and you cry out his name.

With a last snap of his hips and a low moan, Halsin comes as well, twitching cock releasing hot spurts of cum inside your still fluttering walls. He continues to pump into you until the aftershocks of your shared orgasm have subsided, before he slowly pulls out. You collapse onto the mattress, exhaustion settling over your overstimulated body.

Halsin gets onto the bed with you, gently gathering you up in his arms and placing your head against his broad chest. “You’ve done so well for me, little flower”, he whispers into your ear, placing soft kisses on your face before he looks your body up and down. One of his hands comes up to stroke a strand of hair away from your damp forehead and to gently lift your chin in order to look you in the eyes. You note worry in his gaze, his brows furrowed in remorse when he plants a feather light kiss on your lips.

“I’ve hurt you”, he states. “I’m so sorry, my heart. I shouldn’t have lost control like that.”

You smile up at him and cuddle deeper into his arms before you shake your head. “Don’t apologise. I loved every second of it. There is no birthday present in this world that can ever match this”, you confess with a shy grin. “Although I have to admit I’m a little sore. You sure did your best to make sure I’m unable to walk tomorrow.”

Halsin chuckles. “I can help with that”, he answers with a sly smile, his free hand sliding down your body to stroke through your soft folds, muttering an incantation under his breath. As the familiar glow of the healing spell engulfs his fingers, you feel a rush of warmth where he touches you. A moan escapes your lips before you could stop it, eliciting a mischievous smirk from your lover as you hide your face against his chest in embarrassment.

“I’d be happy to go again, my love, but I think you need some rest first. Besides, we still have an Elderbrain to kill, so we’ll need our strength tomorrow.” You nod at that, the tiredness in your bones leaving you unable to object, even if you had wanted to. But you know he is right, so when Halsin wraps a blanket around you to carry you to the bathroom, you just relax into his chest, the sound of his steady breathing soothing you.

When the bathtub is filled with warm water, you are already half asleep, barely registering that Halsin is gently cleaning you up, rinsing the sweat from your hair and body and rubbing salve over the bite marks and the bruises on your hips once you are dry again.

You can hear the soft snores and deep breathing from your companions when Halsin brings you back into the room you share, all of them already fast asleep. Absentmindedly you wonder how long you and Halsin have been away, but the thought is gone as soon as Halsin places you on your bed.

“Goodnight, my little flower. Sleep well.” He gives you a kiss and turns to leave. You manage to grab his hand before he does, stopping him in his tracks.

“Stay with me tonight?” you mumble sleepily. Halsin smiles, warmth and adoration filling his chest as he carefully climbs next to you, the bedframe creaking slightly with his additional weight, and wraps his arms around your smaller figure. The thought of how your companions might react in the morning seeing you two in one bed briefly crosses your mind, but Halsin’s steady breathing and the soft pulse of his heart against your back soon drown out anything else as you drift to sleep in his warm embrace.

-------------------

Part 2 is here now!

[multiverse-menagerie]

Perchance… could I request the bg3 companions with a Tav who has a bleeding heart? They’ll do what they need to do, kill who they need to, etc. but they still are easily tricked by just basic human kindness and often feel guilty for killing folk and whatnot. They’re ridiculously caring towards the party as well, often putting their needs above their own.

Karlach

Karlach gets it. She really does. But she’s been through (literal) Hell and has learned to be a bit more cautious

But she adores how much you love and trust people

I almost see her as someone who would go behind after you to set people straight if they conned you or anything like that

Something about it is so heartwarming ;) to Karlach, watching you take care of everyone - herself included. She wants you to look after her forever while she does the same for you

Shadowheart

almost disgusted by your altruism, in the beginning. She sees no point in it and points it out readily to you

Deep down though, even in the beginning, she likes it and almost envies you for it. She feels bad for speaking down to you especially after she’s had time by your side

Shadowheart enjoys being doted on and care for. She enjoys that you treat your friends like family and that you’re all carving out a little place for y’all

She’ll pout if you’re fussing over someone more than her, though she tries to deny it

Lae’zel

Similarly to Shadowheart, I think at first Lae’zel would find your actions unnecessary and dragging. She’s on a time crunch and knows where she needs to go, and helping all these people isn’t helping y’all

I’m not sure Lae’zel would ever truly warm up to being so willing to lend a helping hand. But I think she would appreciate and commend (and come to respect) you for being able to care so deeply for others (she’s not so certain she’s capable of that magnitude)

Forces you to take care of yourself and won’t hear shit about it; no she didn’t cook this meal just for you to ignore it bc Shadowheart needs to traumadump some more, eat you doofus

Gale

Gale finds it endearing, if a little worrisome. He’s happy to let you fawn over your camp mates but he’s draws the line at being so easily swayed by strangers

He tries to be diplomatic when he’s urging you away from suspicious individuals bc he really doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or make you feel like you need to change, he’s just trying to protect you to his best ability

Gale’s not particularly used to being doted on, but it’s almost…relieving, in a way. Refreshing?

He does work very hard to make sure you’re taken care of as well, cooking good meals and forcing coercing you to bed at a reasonable time

Wyll

heart eyes

Wyll himself sees (or wants to see) the world through rose colored glasses so he’s enamored that you do

He’s also probably one of the only ones to really understand your guilt over killing, even when necessary. He’s happy to talk you through your emotions over it and never hesitates to reassure you that you’re doing the right thing

flusters when your attention turns to him, but doubles it back in repayment to you

Astarion

Astarion seethes at first. He hates your tender-heartedness, hates how kind and soft you are, how loving you are with everyone, it’s just grinds against him

As he sorts through his trauma (and comes to appreciate your care, towards him and your friends at least) he stops whining about it…as much

He will absolutely shut someone down if they’re trying to use, manipulate, or fool you. Astarion only refrains from more…permanent silencing solutions because he knows you wouldn’t like it

He does, however, preen under your attention. True, no-strings-attached care? It takes him a long time to comfortable with it but he cherishes it

Halsin

While he certainly adores your tenderness, he tries to caution you over being too willing to blindly believe someone

Halsin is happy to comfort you through any remorse or guilt of course, but is quick to remind you that this is simply the way the world works

Watching you take care of your little band of misfits makes him melt. You care for them and then he cares for you when you come to him at the end of the day

Halsin would carry your burdens for you if he could, instead he’ll travel by your side and help you help others (while giving you looks that make you swoon let’s be real)

[skendos]

Breathe - Y.Endo

Inspired by this tiktok.

“You know I give you that good loving daily

Try and pull that, got me actin shady”

cw: endo being endo, rich!reader with an overly protective family, threats of violence, female reader

Yamato Endo is nothing but trouble.

A delinquent. Sadistic and dangerous, wouldn’t even spare a second thought about wrecking a whole town in order to get what he wants.

Disliked and feared by those that have heard his name, Yamato is the exact kind of person that your father warned you about as a little girl.

“Stay away from boys like him, Sweetie,” He would tell you as he glared at Endo entering the school grounds whilst he was dropping you off. “They’re nothing but trouble for girls like you, okay? They’ll hurt you.”

You nod and tell him “Okay, daddy!”, giving him a wave as his assistant walks you into school.

You, my darling, are the complete opposite to him.

Excelling in your studies, gaining qualification after qualification, despite not actually needing to work due to the wealth of your father’s business making your family financially free.

You were kind and warm, humble and generous. Loved and gushed about by all that knew your name.

Despite your major differences, you and Yamato Endo had one huge thing in common.

You were both completely and utterly in love with each other.

Truth be told, you always had been.

You befriended each other in school, away from the prying eyes of the teachers that were paid generously in order to keep you away from him and his friends. Endo was well aware of what your family thought of him. Hell, he even agreed with them. Yet he was never able to leave you alone, no matter how hard he tried.

You were both 15 when Endo confessed to you for the first time. Over text, where his name was saved as your friends in case of one of your father’s random spot checks.

I wanna be a good person for you y/n. I mean I wanna be good enough to make you mine one day 😁

You’d thrown your phone across your room in excitement, squealing into the pillow on your bed before replying to him and telling him that you felt the same way, that you’d be his now if he so wanted you to be.

And so, started the relationship between you and Yamato Endo.

One of the towns most hated, with the towns most loved, most treasured.

The towns most disrespected, with the towns most respected.

You both knew your relationship would never be easy, but it was a risk that you were willing to take.

For 5 years your relationship remained the same. Sneaking around, hiding from watchful eyes, the majority of your communication coming from texting each other.

You’d completed your studies and you were handed an executive position in your father’s business. A position which you’d lose in a heartbeat if he found out about your secret boyfriend. The very boy he’d always warned you about.

You’d wanted to tell him. You wanted to let the entire town know that you, the perfect y/n y/l/n, were in love with Yamato Endo.

Because despite his reputation, despite his position as a gang member and the fear that he had accumulated over the years, Endo was misunderstood.

He was fiercely loyal. Intensely observant, noticing all the things you loved and making sure that you had them without being asked. He was a provider, forever sending you little gifts and transferring you money to get your hair and nails done (although you didn’t need it at all). He was a comforter, often sneaking into the grounds of your home at night and hoisting himself up over your balcony to spend the night with you when you needed him. He was your safety blanket, always insisting that you shouldn’t tell your father about your relationship because he was worried about the repercussions it would have on you. Endo was your best friend, your entire heart and soul.

The two of you were like chalk and cheese, ying and yang, but it was those differences that made you work so well.

But it had been too long now. You wanted more. You wanted to walk the streets hand in hand with him, you wanted to run outside with him in the rain and kiss him for everyone to see, you guys hadn’t even been on a date in public before. And it was about time that your relationship should be known.

And that time was coming sooner rather than later.

You and Endo would often head out to the river on the outskirts of town to watch the sunrise. It was one of the only things you could do in public that was relatively close enough to a date. It was also early enough in the morning to not have to worry about any prying eyes.

Until today.

“I best get going.” You state turning to your boyfriend and wrapping your arms around his midsection. He’d grown so tall. “I’ve gotta get to work soon.”

Endo hums and wraps his strong arms around you tightly. “M’ sorry I can’t walk ya home baby. Shit sucks every time.”

“And I tell you every time to stop apologising. I love you, Yamato.” You tell him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down into a kiss.

Endo hums into your mouth. “I love you. So much.” He gushes in between kisses. You were about to return the sentiment when another voice bellows behind you.

“I fucking knew it!”

You froze in fear, unable to turn around to face where that voice came from, knowing all to well that it was your father

You are well and truly fucked.

“Dad…I..”

“This is my fault, Sir.” Endo cuts you off. “I asked her to come out here. I’m sorry.” He bows his head to the older man.

“You should be sorry.” Your father spits in disgust, looking at Endo from head to toe. “And you’re never going anywhere near her again, you piece of shit. Y/n, come on, we’re going.”

He starts walking away, back towards his car where his driver awaits, expecting you to follow along obediently the same way you have your whole life. Expect now, you had something to fight for.

“No.”

He stops in his tracks, turning back to face you. “What did you say?” He probes.

“I said no. I’m not coming with you dad. I’m staying with Yamato. I love him.” You confess with your full chest. You are terrified but this is the one opportunity you have to affirm your relationship with Endo in its true form. You’re not missing this chance.

“You don’t love him, y/n. He doesn’t care about you, you trust me on that. He’ll bleed you dry and then leave you. Come on.”

Is that really what people thought of Endo? You glance at him, not missing the disappointment in his face at your father’s harsh worlds.

“No.” You repeat. “I’m staying with Yamato.”

“You’re coming home wit-“

“Yamato IS my home, dad. I’m not hiding my relationship any more. I love him.” Your voice trembles, the pleading evident in your tone. Tears are pooling in your eyes, threatening to spill.

Your father shifts his hard stare from you, back to Endo.

“I love your daughter.” Endo tells him, matter of factly.

Your dad rolls his eyes in annoyance. “What do you have to offer her?” He asks, in disbelief at how his daughter had ended up in this situation.

Endo looks deep in thought for a split second, before throwing you a mischievous grin and turning back to your father.

“Nothing.” He simply states. “Only this.”

Endo takes a singular step forward and starts moving… wait.

Is he fucking dancing?

You blink at the crazy event occurring before your very eyes.

There stands your father, the man who has dictated your whole life, and dancing before him, the vicious gang member he had warned you against for your whole life.

Before you know it, you’re doubled over in laughter, watching Endo’s ridiculous attempt at trying to dance. God, you love that idiot so so much.

Your father scoffs and shouts over to you, “You’re making a mistake, y/n. If you go with him you can forget about your job. Forget about your inheritance. Is that really what you want?”

And now that you were faced with this ultimatum, the answer was simple.

Endo was worth more to you than your job. More to you than the millions that you were set to inherit one day. For there is no infinite currency in the world that could make your heart feel as full as the way he does.

You grab Endo by the hand, pulling him with you, running back towards town. Back towards where everyone will see you together.

This feelings exhilarating.

“We should’ve done this fucking years ago.” You tell your boyfriend, who laughs at you in response.

“I fuckin love you.” He tells you.

And so was the new start for the relationship between you and Endo. And now everyone will know about it.

Try and pull that, got me actin shady.

Bonus:

- Your dad (begrudgingly) ends up accepting the relationship between you and Endo. You’re his only child after all, and he doesn’t want to throw your relationship away.

- He actually ends up charmed by Endo’s goofy side. What can I say, bro has it in him 😅

Note

I got this idea as soon as I saw that damn TikTok and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Endo always hanging around rent free in my brain sighs

[bakugoushotwife]

Inextricable Angst Ending

a/n: here's the angst ending! meant to be read after Sasuke is healed. it's painful im sorry

fluff ending // first part

Kakashi was chosen to be the Sixth Hokage, and at the time you were thrilled. You knew Kakashi had what it takes to keep the village safe. He instills Itachi and Shisui as village heroes, which delights you. He’s able to pardon Sasuke for his crimes considering his war efforts and sacrifice to the village. 

He hates what he has to do next. Ultimately he has to do it for the sake of the five hidden villages, they’ll never feel safe with the possibility. He’s watched you and Sasuke grow closer than ever before, and he can see the love you have for one another. So the day he calls the two of you into the Hokage’s office to announce these plans, his heart breaks. All Five Kage had thought about this painstakingly, and this was the best resolution. 

“Sasuke, Y/N. Thank you for responding so quickly. I..well.” He clears his throat, wondering what exactly is the right thing to say in a situation like this one. “The five Kage convened recently, here in the Leaf. The other Kage have made me aware that they are..worried about the two of you rebuilding your clan. They fear a repeat of the earlier histories.” Kakashi explains wearily. 

Sasuke straightens his back, looking over at you quickly. “What are you saying, Kakashi?”

“I’m saying the Kage agreed to intervene to prevent you two from marriage and having children. Y/N…will be married to the Kazekage in three weeks.” He replies, clearly pained by the ordeal. He can’t even meet your eyes. 

Your world comes crashing down around you. Sasuke and you just found each other, spending every night talking and touching and being together, like you’re inextricably obligated to. Sasuke’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, feeling only those nasty flames of anger and hatred licking back up his body. 

“I–I can’t believe you would do this to me.” You whisper softly, devastated that Kakashi could settle for such an arrangement. 

“I had no choice. Either that, or they want your original sentences served for desertion and treason. Y/N…I’m sorry.” Kakashi frowns, arms folded over his chest. “Sasuke…I know that Sakura would make a lovely partner, and she cares for you very much.” 

His words cut both of you down, sucking the wind out of your lungs. All this heartache and pain that you’ve gone through, it’s not over. It would never be over. You’re forbidden to be together, just like in all those awful books. Is this really how your story ends?

Gaara is a wonderful man and you’ve always been happy to call him your friend. You’re sure he would do his best to be a good husband to you, but he wasn’t Sasuke. He could never fill that gap, no matter how hard he tried. And to think about Sasuke with Sakura…it was torture. You got up and slammed the door behind you on the way out. 

Over the course of the next few weeks, you met Sasuke when you could. Each time it felt worse and worse, because both of you knew it was closer to the last time. You hold each other a little closer, he kisses you a little rougher than intended, but he just wants to savor the way you taste and the shape of your body under his hand. He knew you would be safe, and as happy as anyone forced into a marriage can be, but every bone in his body wanted to take you and leave this village again. 

But he knew that you didn’t want that life of danger, and neither did he. He wanted to protect the Leaf, and make it up to the people who couldn’t trust him to marry the woman he loves. Maybe he could prove them wrong. But it would be too late by then. Maybe this is what you meant when you said that life doesn’t work off of deserving, but he had to disagree. This is exactly what he deserves. He’s done so much bad, how could he think he was going to get his happily ever after? You were an Uchiha Princess, you deserved to be married to a Kage and be forever safe and catered to. But he stole all the time with you he could. 

True to Kakashi’s word, three weeks from the day he told you about the occasion, you were being wed to the Kazekage. It was a grand spectacle, you think mostly to ease the nerves of the other Kage. The entire Leaf and Sand combine into one massive cathedral-esque type of building, and it’s decorated to the gods. You can smell all the food that’s been made in preparation as you stare at yourself in the mirror. You looked beautiful. This was a fact, your hair was pinned in elaborate braids and your makeup was perfect. You wore a simple but beautiful and traditional Sand style gown. You had citizens of the sand excitedly racing around your room to make sure every detail was in place, and it was magical. 

If only the groom were your preferred choice. Not that you really had one. 

Kakashi walks you out, the previously raucous crowd falling silent at the sight of you. “You do look beautiful, sweet girl.” He hums in your ear. 

“Thank you.” You return politely, not trying to make a spectacle. You can feel Sasuke’s eyes, and you find him easily. He smiles sadly at you, receiving a pat of support from Naruto. Sakura is on his other side. You smile sadly too.

The ceremony is nice, Gaara is kind and you hope you can come to love him in any way similar to Sasuke, because he deserves a good wife. He has made you comfortable since you arrived and tried to give you whatever space or comfort you’ve asked for. He held your hands now, in front of both of your villages, and swore his loyalty to you. 

“I, Gaara of the Hidden Sand, the 5th Kazekage, swear my life to yours. I will make you happy, protect you, and give you anything you ever want or need. I will love you and honor you for all our days.” 

Sasuke is visibly upset, though he tries to hide it just for you. Naruto squeezes his friend’s hand. He was upset for the both of you, having third wheeled your relationship for most of his life. 

The crowd anxiously waits for you to speak. Gaara squeezes your hands in support, and you can tell he’s trying to be the best for you. You smile softly.

“I, Y/N Uchiha, of the Hidden Leaf, the Sharingan Princess, swear my life to yours. I will make you happy, protect you, and give you anything you ever want or need. I will love you and honor you for all our days.” You repeat, allowing him to lean in for the first kiss of your marriage. 

And just like that, you were the wife of the Kazekage, Sasuke Uchiha's Princess no longer.

[swamp-spirit]

I’ve been resisting getting into Internet Fights about my Oshi no Ko opinions, but they have been building in my heart and I need to get them off my chest. It’s a long ramble, but the upshot is:

1. People are way to harsh on Akane 2. Aqua sucks, but also his feelings about Ai are way more nuanced than he gets credit for 3. Ruby also sucks, and pretending she doesn’t is a disservice to her as a character 4. Holy shit this got long

Ahoy for manga spoilers

With the first episode out, I want to start by saying this: I am putting Gorou’s comments about dating Ai to the side for this meta. Obviously it is wrong for a grown-ass man to hesitate when asked if he’d date a teen celeb. I see his comments towards Serena as just trying to offer comfort, but his comments towards Ai are an absolute NOPE. If somebody isn’t able to engage with Aqua at all after that, or engage with the show, I think that’s perfectly understandable, but I also think, to discuss any other aspect of Aqua and his relationship with Ai, I am filing that under ‘yup, that’s some creepy anime bullshit‘.

Now onto the meta.

So Akane’s pissed people off again. And what she said is pretty fucked up. Like “I know your dead Mom better than you because I studied her“???

The thing is, she isn’t wrong. Like she shouldn’t have said it. Akane is good at reading people, but bad at communicating normally. But like.... she isn’t wrong.

Ruby has a very specific image of her mother. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing her to Aqua and how much more pure her love is. She called Ai “Mama“ and Aqua only ever used her name! He never got beyond seeing her as a sexy object.

This doesn’t ring true for me at all.

Ai was emotionally stunted and starved for love. Like a lot of teens in that position, she went looking for it in bad places. She became the idol of people who saw her as an object. She had children in hopes they’d give her a family.

This is actually a really common thing for teen moms, and the stories don’t usually turn out like Ai’s. Toddlers are dependent on their parents, but they don’t have empathy. They’re temperamental and selfish, they’ll kick and bite and yell that they hate you and you’re a bad mom. And that’s normal and natural! That’s part of being a kid! Aqua wanted Ai to have normal kids, but I think it’s somewhat lucky she got two kids who adored her so entirely.

To Ruby, Ai was perfect. Serena didn’t have present parents. She was a lonely dying kid, and Ai was everything she didn’t have. Ai was loved. She traveled, she could move her body like she wanted, she was beautiful and bright.

Even though Ruby wasn’t a ‘real’ child, I think Ai was entirely her mother. Serena attached to Gorou because he was there when her parents weren’t. Ai was Serena’s first chance to have a parent, and Ai seems to be this perfect being to her. Only now, as she reaches the age Ai was and experiences the intense emotions of coming into adulthood, she’s starting to wonder if maybe Ai was unhappy too. She never once considers that Ai would want the world to know about her kids. To her, Ai was the perfect idol, and anything that threatens that is disrespectful to Ai.

But that wasn’t what Ai wanted. We know now she felt stifled by her image and wanted to share her true self. I was particularly hit by the short story where one of Ai’s Idol co-starts deletes a vulnerable message from Ai, wishing for friendship. She can’t stand seeing Ai as a vulnerable, full person and wants to protect Ai’s image as the perfect idol.

I don’t mean to say Ruby’s love of Ai is any less, but she very much feels like a child who isn’t fully ready to see her mother as a person. I think there’s some happiness for her in being an idol, but I think it’s tragic. I see people wishing it could just be a sweet manga about a daughter chasing her dream to feel connected to her mother, but... I think some of those people miss the point of what being an idol means in this story. Ai became an idol to learn to love and be loved, and found herself isolated and fake. Ruby chases a sick girl’s dream and the connection idoldom gives her to the two adults that first showed her love, but we’re seeing that she’s putting that over the relationships she has now. She’s chasing the same dream of perfect love and sabotaging her relationship with everyone in her life to get it.

Now for Aqua’s feelings.

I think it matters a lot to learn about Gorou’s family situation. His life story is one of feeling he failed to protect women. And it’s made him real weird.

His mom died having him and like... lots of kids feel guilty for that, but he spent his whole childhood being blamed for it. Serena is the only genuine connection we saw him making and, by the way her carried that badge, I don’t think it’s just that his other connections weren’t on screen. He saw somebody else who wasn’t loved and did his best to be there for her. And watched her die again.

The crush on Ai is HELLA CREEPY, but, at the end of the day, he didn’t hit on her or put his feelings first. He focused on her health, and, when he was reincarnated, his thought was “good, now I can protect her“. He didn’t see her as a mother, but, unlike Ruby, he saw her as vulnerable. He wanted to protect his ‘fake‘ mother in a way he hadn’t been able to protect his real one, in the way he hadn’t been able to protect Serena, and he failed in the most brutal way. We see in his panic attack that he still feels like the responsible adult that should have been able to protect her, that Ai was a young woman under his care, AND that part of him feels like the scared five year old who was so small and tiny when a grown-ass man stabbed his mother in front of him.

It’s also defined the rift between the twins. Ruby sees herself as a victim, trapped on the other side of the glass as somebody took away her beloved mother, and who is still being shut out. Aqua sees himself as complicit, somebody who’d promised to protect Ai, that watched her get stabbed and bleed out. Ruby wants to protect her mother’s secrets and the perfect image Ai gave everything to, Aqua wants the world to know the human woman behind the image.

And it’s made Aqua weird around women. He doesn’t want Ruby or Akane or Kana to be another woman he fails to protect. He shuts them out, lies, and denies them agency to protect himself from losing them again. I think it’s also telling that, even though revenge was his reason for living as a child, when he thought he didn’t need to get revenge anymore, he wasn’t lost and without purpose, he was happy. (And declared he would now dedicate his life to protecting Akane, a chance to succeed where he’s always failed) He isn’t clinging to his revenge, he’s caught in the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and failure.

Akane is good at reading people. Kana and Ruby are both very much teens. Aqua’s actions are inexplicable and infuriating. Akane knows what’s up. She doesn’t know how to deal with it, but she knows what’s up. Aqua isn’t a baffling enigma, he’s a fucked up dude on a downward spiral.

She’s not trying to stop him from killing his dad because Murdering a Serial Killer is Bad. She’s straight up offered to help kill him. But she and the director are the only people who have picked up exactly how much Aqua hates himself, and that he very well might plan to die to do this. Aqua doesn’t think he deserves to be happy! He doesn’t value his own life! Shit is dire!

Aqua saved her, and is probably one of the few people she can truly talk to. Akane is a socially awkward weirdo who’s too smart for her age, and Aqua appreciates it and plays on her level. She’s emotionally clumsy and accidentally cruel, but I think she’s right that Ruby isn’t seeing her mother as a full person yet (which is normal for a teen! especially a deeply traumatized teen) and she’s right that, if left unchecked, Aqua will destroy himself because he feels like he deserves it.

Like, I totally get thinking Kana and Aqua are more romantically compatible, but right now, Aqua desperately needs somebody who can call him on his bullshit. I’m so sick of people hating on Akane for not being blindly supportive on what is pretty clearly a complicated suicide attempt.

[spiced-koi-friend]

A Smile For The Road

Ruze continues to shove you and Gabriel together like Barbie dolls, and perhaps succeeds. Meanwhile, Altare is involving others in his nefarious schemes.

Previous Chapter

Assassin!Goldbullet x Politician!F!Reader, TW: bribery, implied stalking Words: 1509 | Rating: R | AO3

“Ohoho, I have a great idea.”

“What now, Ruze…”

It’s never a good thing when he comes up with an idea, because usually it means that someone is going to make a fool of themselves, and it’s rarely him. He just cackles at you, knowing you’ll never be mentally prepared for his bullshit.

“What if, we take you on a trip around town and show that you actually care about your community. Take a day in each of the districts, and it makes you a moving target so you’ll be more difficult to track. Wins all around!”

For once, you’re impressed with the idea, although as usual, your brain is trying to poke holes in his plan before anything can go wrong while you’re on the move.

“What about transportation?”

“Goldielocks and I will be with you the whole time, and we’ll switch around what car you’re in that way they never know.”

“And housing?”

“Betsy will take care of that, you know how picky he is about where he stays. And he volunteered to be your PR manager and plan all the stops.”

“...I was on board until you said that Bettel was planning most of this.”

“There’s worse things.”

Ruze cackles at you, looking over at Gabriel to gauge his reaction. He simply looks between the two of you, alarmed that you seem to be expecting something of him.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

“Are you up for a bit of political roadtripping? Take a bit to build support before election night? We can do it in the time between now and the next debate.”

You can’t read Gabriel’s face all that well, but it takes a bit of him thinking before he nods.

“I think I could clear my schedule… I’d need to check in with my boss though. Maybe take some time off, although I don’t know if they’ll approve since I just started.”

He grins at you, chuckling to himself as his eyes twinkle mischievously. It admittedly took you as second to get the joke, shaking your head at his ridiculous jests. 

“Alright, I’ll have to talk to Bettel to make sure he doesn’t plan anything stupid, or just do anything stupid in general. He better be having his brother look after his dog, I’m not dealing with the consequences of that dog’s mostly Taco Bell diet again.”

You round the desk, nodding to both of them as you go to speak to Bettel.

…

Shit. This keeps getting more and more complicated the longer he’s here. Now he’s involved in your campaigning? Altare already knows that he’s infiltrated in, but if he’s caught and recognized on television simping or doing something stupid, he’s done for. And so are you. 

“Aye Goldie, what’s going on in there?”

Ruze knocks on Gabriel’s head, startling him out of his thoughts.

“It’s… nothing. I guess I’m just worried I won’t be able to protect her…”

Gabriel starts fiddling with his necklace, holding it between his teeth while winding the chain around his fingers. The tips of his fingers on his other hand graze along the knife handle strapped in his belt holster, heart beating out of his chest as he tries to figure out how to fix all of this.

“Man, I saw your resume. If you can’t, no one can. I’ve seen some impressive shit in this industry, and I’m sure you have to. She’s just a mayor, not like you’re the secret service for the president or something. I mean, I don’t hate her, I’ve been working for her since I spawned into this world, or at least it feels like it. But this is easy shit, you’ll be okay.”

Gabriel looks at Ruze, eyeing him up and down, not expecting to receive a pep talk after all the teasing he’s been getting.

“And hey, if you’re looking to protect her heart from assholes wanting to use her for her position, you could ask her out. I don’t think she’d say no…”

Ruze gives him a shit-eating grin, and Gabriel realizes what he’s doing.

“Are you fucking around with me? I’ve been working here for a day and you’re trying to get me to date my boss? Isn’t that, like, illegal?”

“Eh, only if it interferes with your ability to work and there’s an unfair power dynamic being abused. And technically, she’s not your direct boss, I am. So you have me as a buffer, and a third wheel!”

“Oh shit…”

It all kind of hits him all at once, realizing he’s being dead serious. Ruze just cackles, wrapping an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders.

“You know when you first arrived, she could not shut up about you. So I made you take her out to lunch. She basically ripped me a new one when you guys got back, but it was worth it. I could tell it made her happier.”

“For real?”

“Do I look like the kind of bastard that just casually goes “oh hey, please date my boss, dude I just met”? Because I’m not. And if I did give off that vibe, I need to fix that.”

“She thinks I’m… pretty?”

“I mean, I think she’d rather tell you.”

He quirks an eyebrow at Ruze, before quickly realizing that you’re standing in the doorway. His face burns bright red, which he quickly tries to hide behind his hat and hands.

“Ruze!!”

“What!? I never promised to keep it a secret! I’m helping!”

“Helping, my ass! You flustered him and now it’s gonna be awkward!”

“Eh, I really doubt it. You should’ve seen his face.”

With that, before getting berated by you more, Ruze takes his leave. The two of you stand in silence, avoiding looking at each other as you try to grasp what Ruze was attempting to do.

“So… you think I’m pretty?”

“A little, if that doesn’t make you feel weird.”

“No! Not at all. It’s just, the feeling is mutual.”

Gabriel watches as rouge flushes up your neck, the way you start fiddling with the hem of your jacket and the bracelet around your wrist. A simple metal band with twelve stones, all different colors. He’ll have to ask about it later.

“Well that’s, convenient, I suppose.”

“Yeah…”

The silence is deafening, but he slowly works his way closer to you.

“So… do you wanna maybe, go out? Officially?”

When you don’t respond, he starts to think that he majorly fucked up, and starts thinking of every way he can possibly backpedal out of this.

“Yeah. I’d like to. Maybe we can try different restaurants as we make our rounds?”

“You think Ruze is going to let us go get food without him?”

“I mean, he tricked you into taking me out on a lunch date anyways.”

“Y’know what, you got me there.”

The two of you laugh, and he freezes when you grab his hand, looking down at you with wide eyes.

“Don’t stress yourself too much for this job. Just, let me know if you get overwhelmed, I’ll do anything I can to help.”

“I’m a big boy, don’t you worry about me. You’re paying me to worry about you, so let’s keep it that way.”

“Alright, Goldie~”

…

Altare slides a manilla folder across the desk, leaning back in the armchair as Axel hovers over his shoulder. The journalist warily opens it, thumbing through the photos and documents.

“I need you to follow these two, gather any photos you can. For every photo you get of the two of them, I’ll give you five hundred dollars.”

“That much? Is she your wife or something? Because if you’re wanting someone to follow them to see if she’s cheating, you got the wrong man. I don’t just go around photographing politicians without their knowledge. I mostly focus on nature and dogs.”

“I’m aware, which is why I need it to be you. You will be perfectly disguised, pretending to take pictures of the environment. And plus, don’t you need a little bonus? I heard from a little birdie that you were saving to go to medical school.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. But do you need to have them like, doing something? Is there something you’re looking for?”

“That is for me to know, and you to not worry about. As long as they’re both in frame and the image is not blurry, five hundred dollars. It’s that simple.”

The journalist pauses, looking down at the contents of the folder again as he tries to weigh his options.

“And this isn’t illegal?”

“As long as they’re in a public area, they cannot do a thing. Just don’t commit a crime, and it’s not illegal.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s how the law works in general, bro.”

Axel pipes up for the first time since arriving, startling both of them.

“...yes, thank you, Axel. Take the time this evening to go over your options, but do get back to me tomorrow with your decision.”

“Y-Yes sir…”

Altare and Axel take their exit, leaving Octavio to make a very difficult decision.

[paperstorm]

10 random lines

I am LATE but I was tagged by @cinnaluminum @reyesstrand and @rmd-writes

Rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (or three), and share it! Then tag 10 people.

He tastes like mint. Must’ve chewed some gum or a Tic-Tac before coming over to ask TK to dance, and TK resolutely sets that information down and doesn’t pick it up again because if he has to think about there being intention in the way this man approached him, he might have to stop kissing him. Back to the habit after kicking it (911 Lone Star)

“Dude, I was born in Manhattan,” TK defends. “Lived there my whole life until three months ago. Nobody I grew up with knows how to drive, having a car on the island makes no sense unless you’re super rich or have some kind of kink for sitting in traffic for an hour to go 10 blocks.” Life's a game of inches (911 Lone Star)

Merlin seeks Arthur’s lips for a messy kiss, tilting his hips to change the angle and pushing Arthur inside just a bit deeper, rubbing, sending resplendent waves of pleasure through him. He wants so badly – aches, really – to be everything Arthur could ever need so Arthur never has to look anywhere else. Golden Hour (Merlin)

“I couldn’t remember every kiss, not 800 years of them, but I remember that one,” Joe continues, in a dreamy voice. He is more emotional than Nicky. Quicker to anger, and indignance, and ferociously protective of those he loves. His fire burns quick and hot, and when it melts into languid moments such as this, where he’s introspective and soft-hearted, it’s Nicky who aches to protect him. Nothing But a Song (The Old Guard)

Nile surprises them with her poker skills, in the evening when Joe breaks out a pack of cards and they sit around the table with an old radio on in the background. The nights were long and boring, sometimes, when she was stationed overseas, and she took a considerable amount of money off all her commanding officers in the months she was there. It’s that baby face, one of them had complained, you never think it’s lying to you until it is. Hands Battered but Hearts Survive (The Old Guard)

They struggle to pay the bills and sometimes they run out of hot water before both of them have had a chance to shower and they have to hide their love away to keep it safe from people who would want to hurt them if they knew, but despite all that, they’re happy. It aches and it aches and it aches in Bucky’s chest to think of how much he took it for granted, how many times he should have told Steve he loved him but didn’t, how likely it is that they’ll never have that again. Bucky’s not as simple as he’s been pretending. He doesn’t believe the advertisements, the campaigns that promise they’ll be gone six months and home as heroes by Christmas. That’s what they said last time, and millions never came home. Parallel Sinking Ships (MCU)

Steve sways a little on his feet as Bucky works, and Bucky sees the crash coming. Steve must have been running on sheer adrenaline since the end of their latest mission, perhaps spurred on by grief over the people he hadn’t been able to save this time and anger at himself for his perceived failings. He’d managed to get himself to Wakanda and to Bucky on nothing but leftover fumes, and they’re very quickly running out. Through the Monsoon (MCU)

“Do you want to know the moment I hated myself the most, in all this?” Nick asks. Pieces of himself, he figures. He knows better than anyone how tough it is to be so see-through. To know that despite all his best efforts, he’s utterly transparent. Maybe he can be transparent on purpose; maybe that will make Charlie feel safer in the notion of confessing. All Of These Moving Parts (Heartstopper)

Sitting here, holding TK’s arm in his hand, he feels like he can sense TK slipping away right here in front of him, filtering through his fingers like sand. No matter how he tries, Carlos can’t seem to grasp him tight enough to keep him. And maybe that’s always been the problem. Maybe he’s never known how to do that. Collateral damage (911 Lone Star)

“If we’re playing around, if we’re having fun and you want me to be a little rough that’s fine. I love that, too. Not when you’re this upset. I can’t …” He runs out of ways to explain the way that makes him feel, to imagine being rough with TK while he’s crying and using the mix of pleasure and pain to distract himself from his grief. Of him associating Carlos with hurt in a moment like this, of him believing he doesn’t deserve to be treated gently, maybe because someone died while TK was there and in the dark recesses of his mind he thinks he should be punished for that. Silent (911 Lone Star)

I'm not sure who's done this already but I will tag @musette22 @riricitaa @bubblesandroses8 @chaotictarlos @theghostofashton and @tailoredshirt

[clarawaking]

My Trans SuperPowers -- #2

A poem, dedicated to the celebration of being trans, and to the education of those who 'don't get it'

(lay this down to a sweet groove...)

* * * * *

I’d like to share a bit with you —  about my transition

To counter the spite for people who are in this position

Transphobes accuse this of being an arbitrary decision 

That we make to ally ourselves with leftist activism…

They have zero respect for the emotional precision

Of discovering your authenticity, and escaping your body-prison,

...

To be a trans person, is to belong to a tribe

Who find themselves always, on the outside

You hear the people joke, mock and deride

But you really fear the violence that follows from the jibes

Can you imagine your life if you always had to hide?

And hate?  Like….hate?  

Why do we get this hate?

Like we’re fucking-perverts-always-looking-for-new-ways-to-masturbate?

...

The anti-trans paranoiacs call us groomers & pedophiles 

But you ever wonder what on earth they’re teaching to their child?

“God is love” they preach, behind judgemental smiles

But He doesn’t make mistakes, the phobes say with confidence

Well then me being trans was EXACTLY God’s intent

My path in this life was to be born a girl

But to be thought of as a boy by the entire world

So my soul’s journey has been to uncover my Real Self

And if my body wasn’t designed to be accurate off the shelf

Then who the hell is anyone to question God’s decision?

To react to His creation with disgust and derision?

“But surgery is butchery!” they vociferate with gumption

But they’ll get eye glasses, or nose jobs, or take Viagara for their dick dysfunction

Anyway, I’ll defer to what Roger Waters said

“As I’ve always said, I prefer your lips red, 

Not what the Good Lord made

But what He intended!”

…

So let me tell you a bit about my own experience

Before you tell me your fear-based doubtful sentiments

Unless you think there’s something wrong with people who are different?

You don’t need to treat me like I’m sick, or weird or strange,

Just because my body’s undergoing a specific change

That hasn’t happened to you (…..yet!!!)

...

And by God don’t tell me therapy’s what I need

When it’s been years of exactly that, that finally helped me see

What I had been repressing for my entire life

What has lurked in my unconscious, & created all that strife, 

From the carved-up scars that were once left by my knife

To no doubt the fact things didn’t work out with people, like my wife

...

You know…just cuz you might not see the meaning in someone’s blahaj shark

Doesn’t make it any less meaningful than some belief in Noah’s ark

And what, should trans people spend their lives hiding in the dark?

Living lives of shame and loneliness and never feel the spark

of being loved for who they are, and opening their heart?

proudly moving in society, contributing their part?

...

And are we really so scary that you need to be protected?

Like if we piss in your washroom, you’re gonna get infected?

Or we’re sneaking a peak at your junk so that we can inspect it?

It’s trans people’s privacy that tends not to be respected….

Which is why we band together, cuz we know we’re not defective.

And we just want to be able to take a  pee….without vigilante bathroom detectives!

…..

In truth, being trans has already cost tons of sacrifice

But I am so goddamn thankful this was MY roll of the dice

Because it has softened me and deepened me in the most delightful ways

And I’ve found acceptance by friends, family, the allies and the gays

I’ve met courageous people whose eyes shine like sun rays

And a feeling of simple joy is what accompanies my days

Cuz being trans is like discovering that you have superpowers

I’m a fucking x-man (pun intended!), and I do not plan to cower

I know that in the future, I ain’t getting many flowers

It’s kinda like playing euchre, never getting any bauers

Future lovers or not I have Clara, and I guess that makes me now hers

And you find you can handle rejection, when your own self-love towers

My emotional struggles, I find Estrogen now cures

And my eyes, hot damn!!!, they have a new allure

And it’s fun to feel confident, but also play demure

...

It’s possible, and it’s fine, if you want to make some changes

Everybody does as their life flows and rearranges

But trans people are discovering just how wide that range is

And the haters & the intolerant are really, the only dangers

...

Heck, I’m learning to biohack this flesh vessel!

Cyproterone & Estradiol are my mortar & my pestle

Crushing masculinity, releasing femininity

If I add progesterone, it’d be the Holy Trinity

And if religion don’t agree with me, I’ve found my own Divinity

With joy, & love, euphoria, there ain’t no way a sin it be

And if I’m destined for damnation? Into infinity??

Then I say bring it, bitch, cuz that’s where all my friends’ll be.  

…

To me, being trans is beautiful, there’s nothing to be mourned

I don’t feel it like a death, I more feel like I’ve been reborn.

And, I cherish it. ❤️

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Faes & Fairies Masterlist

A Human Heart (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Phil's mother has always said that there are creatures in the forest and Phil has always thought they were just stories. Then one day he runs into the forest looking for somewhere to hide and meets Dan, a man with antlers and the ability to talk to trees. Phil's world opens up but there are dangers in the forest that he can't even begin to imagine.

A shadow named daniel (ao3) - kitkattaylor

Summary: something magical

beat my heart just like a drum (ao3) - deathlytireddan

Summary: (Phil’s delicate fairy wings are smooth and glossy, fragile and easily broken, and made for flitting between trees, not the proper flying Dan can do. It’s a sore spot between them. Dan can leave whenever he likes and Phil can’t follow.)

do you believe in magic? (ao3) - darkesthorizon

Summary: Dan discovers a meadow of flowers where fairies made of flowers can grant you one wish. But there's a catch: your wish has to be pure. What does that even mean?

Fairymate. (ao3) - heyitsnxel

Summary: So, the thing is, Phil’s life? Yeah, it had never been normal.

I Just Want To Fly (ao3) - SonjaBlayde

Summary: All Phil wanted to do was to be able to fly.

Into the Woods (ao3) - dont-tell-them-i-write-phan (QueenBoudicatheGreat)

Summary: Dan had never meant anything to anybody his whole life, and he was actually pretty okay with that. He had two stable jobs (one which he hated, but it’s whatever), a little old lady that believed in every superstition ever, a friend who listened to him complain, and a dog that followed him home every day and ate his leftovers. However, a week after his twenty fifth birthday, when he’s cornered by something most definitely not of this world he learns that he may be a little more important than he thought. Also that his dog is actually a man with wings. That was a shock.

Louisette, or How Danaerie Got His Wings (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: This is the story of a beautiful, confident fairy lady and her socially awkward, nerdy fairy friend, so just read it and be happy.

Love Like You (ao3) - xoPrincessKayxo

Summary: Fairy!AU- Dan and Phil are happy being the Guardians of the Fairies, making sure each fairy chooses the right path for their child. Until one day, when they make a decision that changes everything

only the sweetest words remain (ao3) - obsessivelymoody

Summary: Dan should have realised he was making a mistake when he deliberately veered off path during his morning jog.

The Last of the Anthousai (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: Phil is different from everyone else in his village. For one thing, his mother is dead. For another, she wasn’t human, so neither is he. To learn how to harness the powers he inherited from her, Philip enlists the aid of a Druid living at the edge of a mysterious forest. To make matters more complex, the forest’s waters are drying up and a beautiful flower nymph is telling Philip that he’s some sort of chosen one sent to the forest in order to protect it. How is Phil supposed to handle all of this? And who or what is causing the forest to slowly die?

They'll Tear Us Apart (If You Give Them the Chance) (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)

Summary: Dan was just a fairy in his little village of Vixedeler when a mermaid invades the waters and sends the village into a frenzy. A thousand year old rivalry is resurfaced and Dan is left in the middle of his village while also feeding his new connection with the mermaid, Phil. As tensions rise, and Dan falls deeply for Phil, a Romeo and Juliet love story begins.

voice on the wind (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: A life-changing injury leaves a desperate musician looking for a miracle. He finds it in the company of a Fae muse, but at what cost?

We Can't Magic (ao3) - dont-tell-them-i-write-phan (QueenBoudicatheGreat)

Summary: Choosing to stay in the Fairy World had been easy, but there were some unforeseen difficulties.

[music-n-romantic-dreams]

Truly, I used to be ashamed of my divinity.

I would always down play it but deep down I always felt a disconnect to everything even the gods that people would force upon me.

Everything seems so empty and lackluster to me because I know that life can be grander than all of this.

And if you continue to give into your old beliefs that isn’t getting you anywhere.

You’ll go extinct just like everything else.

Why do you think the same animal species including humans look different in every region?

Because if they don’t adapt then they’ll die and go extinct.

I’m not trying to scare you I’m trying to inspire you.

Please don’t be arrogant enough to believe that humans are exempt from extinction just because they’ve been overlooked for eons.

Bad behavior will always be evaluated eventually because no one deserves to be oppressed.

Btw your Jesus’ soul isn’t on this planet and if that deity does ever decide to show up here they would most likely remove all the evil from your hearts so you can stop making them look bad.

I’m sorry to break it to you but deities aren’t as merciless as you believe and the only reason why old gods were so brutal is because they had to figure out love on their own.

They had no proper guide.

They had to figure out how to lead in a chaotic and selfish world that they inherited.

We have the knowledge to heal all of that now.

And rewrite the fate of this planet.

Truly it’s up to you not me.

I’m going to be fine regardless cus I’m not attached to any of This only my loved ones and they will always be with me cus I actually value them.

I don’t lose things I value unless it no longer wants to be with me.

I forgive every god for leading this world to the way it is and I know that most starseeds feel the same.

I’m grateful for the old deities for trying their best with what little guidance and unconditional love they had.

We just want to be able to live in peace already.

It’s a new millennium let’s relearn everything we know about living.

Because this shit ain’t working and it’s boring me.

Let’s forgive the past already.

Most of us weren’t even alive to even know this shit.

You’re just recycling stale karma for no reason.

If you’re god is truly that great then why is everyone so depressed, unfulfilled and hopeless?

Why is there so much chaos?

Why haven’t Jesus saved this world yet?

Because you must learn the same lesson Jesus failed to understand.

SAVE YOURSELF!

I can criticize Jesus his children has been tormenting me and so many others for a while now.

He’s in my debt for that.

I wouldn’t of been through hell if it wasn’t for his kids messing with the natural order of societies.

I don’t know bout y’all but we hold people accountable over here especially those with power.

Understand my soul is connected to Hellenic deities.

Deities who weren’t afraid to check other gods.

I don’t put myself under anyone.

Free yourself from karma that doesn’t belong to you.

Stop being afraid you’re safe to do so.

There’s new deities being spawned and popping up on this planet constantly.

Let’s give into our future.

I promise you’ll love it.

Understand that we control our destiny and that millions of us are already on the same spiritual level of Jesus but are ashamed to admit it because of the turmoil one might receive from deluded conservative Christians who’s views are redundant to our future.

I know you’re going to hate me trust me I expect it. But understand you can never hate me more than I hate you..

Prove me right that humans are only good for opposing celestial life.

Please do but understand you’ll surely fail.

Because this is destined.

We will protect our peace!

You murdered so many of our celestial family.

I hold no grudges though I just want people to get on board with living already or we’ll fulfill your death wish for you.

If you continue to attack us.

[campbluelake]

lost, found, and lost again || abbie || reaction

[♫♫♫]

As always, she can’t bring herself to turn around and watch the crime happen. This time, though, she doesn’t really need visuals to tell her what’s happening every step of the way, though. There’s dialogue this time around, and every moment of it is heart-wrenching in the way that Kyousuke promises Eri that he’ll take care of things to the final words Max says to Kyousuke before he finally dies. This is being considered a homicide, but is it a crime? No one went out of their way that night to commit a crime, no one intended to do something like this when the night was still young.

And yet, here they were, standing in the amphitheater, being told that this was all Kyousuke’s fault. He stabbed Max, yeah. He was the last one to injure an already-dying man. He struck the killing blow. It was his fault that Max was dead.

But it wasn’t his fault that Max was dying.

Some part of Abigail that she isn’t able to tamper down despises Eri. Despite the fact that she knows Kyousuke wouldn’t want for her to feel any ire towards the other woman, to recognize he chose to do what he did out of love for the other, she’s unable to keep a seed of resentment from blooming in her gut. 

This was her fault. And Abbie, even if she won’t voice it, hopes that someone does. She hopes that someone looks Eri in the eyes and tells her she’s done this.

Survivor’s guilt is a choking thing, something that settles on your shoulders and never stops whispering to you reminders that you’re alive while the unspecified “they” aren’t. Maybe no one needs to tell Eri this at all. Maybe, like Abigail, she’ll look in the mirror every single day for the rest of her empty life and remember that she’s alone because she couldn’t do anything but watch as the person she loves more than anything else on this planet dies.

She blinks slowly and looks away from where her gaze had, at some point, fallen on the other. Now, her eyes turn to Kyousuke--the man sentenced to death and who will soon be dragged to the fire and devoured. There’s no point anymore in asking “why” when it’s been made so obvious. Why? Because he loves Eri. Because he would do whatever it took to protect her.

“...Do you hate me?”

Abbie asks this without any sort of intonation in her voice. It’s bland, lacking the strength to coat it in anything but emptiness. This is a coat, a comfort, she has not worn since July 4th, fifteen years ago. Before she learned to bury it all in syrup and sweetness, it was stale, stagnant water--left in the bottle for so long that it became acrid. She feels that nothingness, and she hugs her stomach, hoping to quench the pains of the growling hunger for companionship. If she squeezes tightly enough, perhaps they’ll stop aching before they start.

“You lie to me, say you’re a bad person, and then, you go and kill someone for a reason I can understand, so I can’t even be mad at you for it. Not really. You say you’re selfish and then go and do something selfless like this. You say it’s ‘cuz of the people you’ve met here that you’re becoming the good person we all see in front of us; are we why you did this? If we’d left you alone, would you have fought harder for your own life?

It’s our faults, then, isn’t it?”

Perhaps without plans of visiting temples during New Years and planting gardens, Kyousuke would have hidden his own involvement more. Perhaps without baking lessons and a night spent drinking Zimas at the first birthday party she’d attended in fifteen years, Kyousuke could have looked them all in the eyes and lied. Perhaps without strongly-regretted movie nights and jokes about getting lost in the mirror maze, they could have been confounded by the actor in front of them.

Perhaps without “big sis Bee”, Kyousuke would be breathing tomorrow.

“...ehe…”

She reaches up underneath her glasses and wipes her eyes, but it doesn’t do anything. She’s well into the point of feeling where “everything” is more like “nothing”, and the tears fall effortlessly and without any shaking of her body, no sucking of breath into her lungs. Instead, a small puff escapes with a hint of laughter.

“Y’know, when you become an orphan, you kinda think you’re done losing your family, y’know? I guess I’m the first person to lose her family twice.”

Her smile is more like a shattered looking glass held together by sap, the tacky, sticky substance muddling the shine of the surface until only a blurred outline is comprehensible.

“I love you. I love you lots.”

A sharp stutter in her breath, and the smile gains a manic desperation.

“Please don’t go.”

Like her family before, though, there is no choice. Fire, as always, burns indiscriminately.

[suntoru]

Ok,so. Can i request Headcanons for Shinso, shoto, Katsuki, eijiro, dabi and shota aizawa (and any other boy you maybe want)with a reader who is extremly insecure about her thighs?

Reader pls fem! and she has big thighs <3

fem! reader who’s insecure about her thighs

a/n: sorry for the wait, love! there’s just a lot going on right now, but here’s your request

⤷ hitoshi shinsou

○ he notices but never pressures you to talk about it

○ you would never wear shorts or skirts, even with the UA uniform, no skin below your hips would be showing

○ okay but why though?

○ it’s like one of his favourite things about you

○ he loves how soft and squishy they are

○ whenever you go out, he always has his hand on your thigh

○ thinks you’re gorgeous no matter what you do, it makes his heart break that you don’t think the same

○ compliments you subtly, or at least tries to

○ slightly concerned that you might try and do something dangerous to yourself, will eventually confront you if it goes too far

“toshi, what are you doing?” you giggle softly. his hands are slightly calloused, a result of his intense training with aizawa-sensei. he’s caressing your upper leg, touch so light it tickles. “nothing, just really love your thighs.” you’re surprised, since it’s one of the things you hate the most about yourself.

“kitty, i adore everything about you, and it breaks my heart to see you don’t feel the same. so let me teach you how to love yourself, if you’ll trust me.”

⤷ shoto todoroki

○ honestly he’s so blunt he doesn’t realize it

○ he’s very perceptive in logical situations, but when it comes to feelings his brain kind of shuts down

○ you never wore anything that showed your legs

○ he assumed that was your style, or that you just didn’t enjoy wearing skirts because of the inconvenience

○ don’t blame him, but like sho baby, please

○ you’ll probably have to tell him

○ he still might not understand, but he’ll try his best for you

○ before you told him, he bought you thigh highs for the UA uniform with endeavor’s his credit card

○ lmfao imagine endeavor looking through his credit bill and seeing this shit

○ when you tell him you can’t wear it he’s just like why

“sho… i can’t wear this.” you frowned. “why not?” he asks, visibly confused. “because my thighs are too… thick. they’ll look weird.” you mumbled, feeling bad your boyfriend wasted his money on something that wouldn’t even look good. tears in your eyes pricked, but you tried not to show it.

“my love, i wish i could protect you so you don’t ever have to feel this way. i know i’m not exactly the best with feelings, …but why don’t we learn to love ourselves together?”

⤷ katsuki bakugo

○ he probably will realize it somewhere down the road of your relationship

○ a bit more perceptive than todoroki

○ whenever you were forced to wear shorts you would always pull them down as far as they’d go

○ thought is was strange and you looked good

○ but of course, his pride and ego got in the way of being able to compliment you

○ one day monoma decided to insult you and call you fat for having enough confidence to wear something different

○ bad decision

○ bakugo starts to curse and threaten him as explosions start to pop

○ it isn’t until you break down about it that he’s like ‘oh fuck i should go help my s/o’

“shit y/n, stop crying.” he growls. but his anger isn’t directed at you, it’s that bastard monoma. you finally chose to wear some shorts because it was really hot that day, but of course, you ran into that class 1-B asshole.

“dumbass, don’t listen to that damn extra. tch, you looked… okay.”

⤷ eijiro kirishima

○ he doesn’t understand why you would hate any part of yourself

○ like he thinks you’re perfect and can’t see you any other way

○ it kind of breaks his heart to see you insult yourself, even if you try and make a joke out of it

○ he frowns every single time you do it, not that you notice

○ will enthusiastically compliment you even if you barely made a difference

○ baby steps

○ also loves your thighs and how thick they are

○ always smiles whenever you wear a skirt or shorts and praises you

○ if anyone dares to look at you the wrong way you bet he’ll give them the fight they’re looking for

“i wish my wallet was as thick as my thighs.” you half-joked, trying to crack a smile from your boyfriend. kirishima frowns. he doesn’t like the way you talk to yourself, even though you always try to cover it up.

“pebble, don’t talk to yourself like that. every part of you is manly, and i love your thighs the most.”

⤷ dabi

○ loves to imprint his name on your upper leg

○ he also loves to make fun of them in a joking manner, but if it makes you uncomfortable he’ll stop

○ smiles whenever you sit on his lap

○ massages the fat of your thigh with one of his hands while the other is around your shoulders

○ catches you measuring your thighs

○ he might know that you’re insecure about it or that you’re hiding something

○ won’t confront you, just lets you do your thing

○ he doesn’t know how to tell you that he loves you and that you shouldn’t be self-conscious

○ whenever you wear a dress he’s gonna be cocky as hell

“doll, why are you measuring your legs? are you flexing on me right now?” he asks in a teasing voice, but there are only tears in your eyes. “t-they’re too big… i hate them.”

“i was only teasing, baby. and besides, you look fucking sexy in that.”

⤷ shota aizawa

○ he just rests his head on your legs

○ he’s found his new pillow and will take naps in the worst possible moments

○ like he’s supposed to be teaching his class but nope you’re both stuck there until he decides to wake up

○ it’s kind of cute but inconvenient

○ he loves how soft they are and how comfy they are for his head

○ aside from that, he loves to randomly draw shapes and patterns everywhere

○ he’s addicted please help this man

○ honestly didn’t realize until you told him you were probably suffocating him

“shota, get off! i’m probably choking you.” you whined, but it fell on deaf ears. “who cares.” he mumbled, tired and sleepy. but the moment you mumbled something about disliking your thighs his eyes sprung open.

“kitten, every part of you is equally as beautiful. i love you and your soft thighs, so please be quiet and let me sleep.”

[lovesick-feelings]

How about Security Puppet from pizzeria simulator romance headcanons? Yan or not

Hello and thank you for this request!! I hope you don't mind I choose more of a yandere approach at the end! (ᅌᴗᅌ)

It's so surprising seeing how little content there is for Security Puppet. Even when I looked at their wiki they barely had any pictures of them. It such a shame that Pizza simulator barely focused on them and the other 4 main animatronics (ノ﹏ヽ)

❤ Being one of the Puppet’s counterparts, they share the same qualities of being protective and caring. However, I see Security Puppet being more open to showing interest and affection to their S/O sooner than the others.

❤ As a safety bot, they need to scan areas to keep track of the place, you’d see them popping out of their box often. Whether you are a worker or a customer they notice you immediately. They are the first animatronic to greet you in the building.

❤ They know they can look a bit off-putting at first. Not being able to talk doesn't help either so, of course, they have to introduce themselves with a surprise gift!

❤ Cue glitter being thrown at your face, hopefully, that didn't get in your eyes :(

❤ More of these occurrences will happen with the puppet just coming up to you to give you a nicely wrapped box. The gifts always consist of snacks and cheap toys at the prize counter. They’re working with what they got, guys.

❤ Bros just standing like🧍to see your reaction. If they don't sense much enthusiasm, they’ll try again till they find your interests. Once they see you like something they’ll get 50 more those to see that smile again.

❤ Spending time with you is their main way of expressing their love! Anything from playing arcade games to listening to the Puppet’s music box together makes their heart swell. Even when you get busy Security Puppet can’t help but watch from a distance how cute you are.

❤ It comes to a point where the Security Puppet would be comfortable enough to follow you the whole day just to see what you were up to. They wouldn't hide it too, hovering 3 feet away from you. It honestly feels more like a puppy following its owner than a stalker.

❤ By the time you express more comfort, they'll offer more hugs too. They are so gentle and enthusiastic when they come in contact with you that it overshadows their cold and skinny body.

❤ Unlike Puppet It's hard to see Security Puppet being possessive over their S/O. Where Puppet would be more aggressive towards people they dislike Security Puppet only looms next to you as you talk so they can hangout with you after. People seem to leave faster when they're around :)

❤ Even if they were to get rejected, they never would lash out and go to extremes since they value their S/O’s happiness. 

❤ The only case in which Security Puppet would act is if you are being threatened or harmed. They are quick to act and show no hesitation in attacking or sending others to attack that individual. 

❤At that point, they’d have no choice but to keep their darling safe in the pizzeria where you could be under their protection at all times. Security Puppet hates to see you so upset by this change but they're sure you'll understand soon. They’ll be there to help you along the way.

[flower-of-zaun]

POLY SILCO AND SEVIKA FLUFF

Silco x Sevika x gender neutral reader

I see lots of NSFW posts for these. We need some domestic fluff.

Sevika isn’t affectionate, but she loves when you sit on her lap. She loves to pick you up to reach something. You try to hug her tho, she stiffens up. Gives awesome forehead kisses.

Silco is HANDSY. Always touching you, but not in a needy way. He just needs to keep you close. Also hates hugs…but gives the best ones when you need it.

If you smoke, there’s always going to be someone to light your cigarette.

If you don’t smoke, you’re going to die from second hand smoke lol. If you have breathing issues, they’ll refrain from smoking around you.

Silco yells at you? Running straight to Sevika and hiding in her arms. She hates to that you’re upset, but will never side with you. You’re a brat.

Sevika yells at you? You are baby. Showered in love and affection. Will not side with you though, because you’re a brat.

God forbid the both of them are mad at you. Puppy dog eyes will not save you. Sevika needs her space to blow off steam. Silco will talk it out with you, but you’re gonna get a scolding for making Sevika upset.

You are spoiled ROTTEN. Showered in gifts. That’s Silco’s love language, he buys anything your little heart desires. He loves going shopping with you and buying you new clothes. (You’ve had to donate so much because your closet keeps filling up)

Sevika tends to buy you weapons and practical things. Loves seeing you with beautiful daggers. You got a hobby? She finds the what supplies you need and restocks them. Will surprise you with a rare item or book.

She does teach you how to fight and defend yourself. Especially with the daggers. She wants you to be able to handle yourself in dire situations. Wants to teach you how to use a sword next! Really excited about it.

Silco likes to watch you train, but yells at Sevika if he feels she’s being too rough…which is all the time lol. You both yelled at him and continued training…he doesn’t do it as often.

Date nights are a nice. You guys tend to like going to a small noodle shop to have some drinks and talk about the week.

Date nights at home are a BLAST. Lots of take out and having them both in the same room to relax? Rare but amazing. You lay your head on Sevika’s lap and have your legs over Silco’s lap, while watching a film. Always a scary movie.

The 3 of you Sleeping together is rare. You either crawl into Sevika’s bed or Silco’s bed for the night. Sevika likes to sleep alone most of the time, but she has appeared in Silco’s bed with the two of you a few times.

You have caught these two cuddle together, multiple times. They play it off like nothing. You can tell they really care about each other.

You help take care of Sevika’s arm at the end of the day. Making sure it’s running correctly and making sure her Shimmer vials are full. She can watch you tinker for hours.

If Silco is working late, you tend to bring him coffee and spend some time with him before you head to sleep.

He sleeps at his desk a lot. You always cover him up.

You handle his eye injections too. He holds on to you until the pain dies down.

If you have any health issues, the both of them are on you about it. Silco has set you up with his most trusted doctors. Sevika helps you with anything you need, even when you’re being a prideful little shit and wanting to do it yourself.

Take medication? They always remind you to take it. Won’t let you leave the house if you didn’t.

Having a bad day. Sevika will take you to the bar to have a drink. “You can…talk about it if you want.” She will finally give you a hug and let you lean on her while you vent.

Silco will sit you in his lap, letting you ramble for as long as you need.

These bitches LOVE to gossip. The both of them are worse than teenage girls at a sleep over.

They are your best friends.

They are loyal and will defend you till the end.

Will do anything in their power to keep you happy and protect you,

[etheriaaly]

Another Love | Peter Parker x Reader

ANGST

Peter Parker x Reader

Reader pronouns: She/her

Summary: Reader is a master of mystic arts and have powers similar to the Scarlet Witch and is also the girlfriend of Peter Parker. She insisted to do the spell to forget Peter Parker but instead, she accidentally makes everyone forget her. Now, she has to suffer the consequences.

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ ʀᴇqᴜᴇꜱᴛ

—

[Y/N] had never hated a man so much. This all started with Mysterio and also her stupidity in casting a spell she was not accustomed with. Sure, [Y/N] is a master of mystic arts and a powerful magical witch, but she still messed up the fucking spell. At least she was able to protect Peter and everyone from the multiverse breaking apart. 

She had a hard time redoing her entire documents of existence and finding an apartment since everyone literally forgot about her, all traces of her are gone. Well, except for some stuff like her clothes, school books, bags, etc. 

Since [Y/N] has no proof that she graduated high school, she had to do everything she can to get into college, most especially MIT. [Y/N] was supposed to take Aerospace Engineering.

She was an Avenger as well but since they forgot her too, she can’t just show up in their house and ask for their help. She's definitely all alone.

[Y/N] took a deep breath and took out a paper that has her own writing. “You can do this,  [Y/N].They’ve been your friends for years, I’m sure they’ll believe me.” She tried to comfort herself.

It was winter and she walking towards the coffee shop that her best friend, MJ, was working at. She wanted to see them and tell them about what happened before she can settle in her new apartment. She then started to recite what was written on the paper, “Hey, my name is [Y/N] and I’m pretty sure you don’t remember me but I’m your best friend and I accidentally botched a spell that made you guys forget about me instead of Peter. I know this sounds crazy, but-”

[Y/N] stopped reciting the words the moment she reached the shop. She took a deep breathe before she entered inside where she saw Ned sitting down from afar. She smiled. [Y/N] really misses her friends. She looked around the shop to look for Peter. Peter is not here. 

Her eyes widened when Ned was waving at her. Could he have remembered? She smiled and was about to step forward until Peter passed by her, “Sorry, excuse me.” 

Her smile faltered and stepped aside. She watched Peter make his way towards Ned. 

[Y/N] sighed and walked towards the counter. She can overhear their conversation. Her eyes is still trailing Peter and watched him do the best friend handshake with Ned.

Then, there it is. She saw Peter and MJ lean at each other for a quick peck in the lips. Her heart shattered into a million pieces.

"Ugh, you guys do your boyfriend and girlfriend thing in a private room. You both do know 3rd wheeling sucks." Ned complained.

Girlfriend? Boyfriend? 

[Y/N] tried not to cry and let out a deep breath again. 

MJ rolled her eyes. "Well you can always leave, you know." The three of them laughed. [Y/N] chuckled silently as to not be heard laughing too. She might look like a creep or weirdo.

“Wow. I still can't believe we're MIT students. This is a dream come true.” Peter said out of nowhere.

"I know right. But we still haven't moved in together in an apartment like we always planned."

[Y/N] remembers that. It was her and Ned's idea for the four of them to move in together at college.

"We don't have the enough funds yet." 

“Hold on, there’s a customer.” She heard MJ say it to Ned and Peter. 

[Y/N] put on a fake smile even though she’s glad and happy to see her friends. 

“Hi, what can I get for you?” MJ asked, smiling. 

“My name is [Y/N] and I-” She looked back at Ned and Peter laughing and then folded the paper she was holding on into 3 and placed it inside her jacket pocket. “-I would like some cappuccino and uhm...a donut as well.”

“Cappuccino and donut serving right up.” 

While waiting for MJ to get her order,  [Y/N] looked at Ned and Peter again as she placed her hand inside her jacket pocket, only to see Peter looking up from what he was doing and staring at her.

‘This is it. Tell him.’ Her mind was ordering her to come to them and tell everything but she’s just frozen in place. 

Peter quickly continued to do whatever he's doing and [Y/N] stopped looking at him the moment MJ is done with her order.

"Here's your donut and cappuccino," She placed it in the counter. "That would be 3.99."

[Y/N] grabbed her wallet from her bag and gave 5 dollars to MJ. While waiting for the change, she saw a Band-Aid on her former friend's forehead. "Hey, where'd you get that?"

MJ was confused at first, and she suddenly went, "Oh. I got this on a hiking trip with those 2 idiots there." She pointed at Ned and Peter.

"Seems like you all got hurt during that trip."

"Yeah, we did. It still hurts though, I have no idea why."

"It'll take time. I'll get going now. See you around, I guess." With that, she left.

[Y/N] realized that maybe this is for the best. No one gets hurt. No one knows Peter is Spiderman except for some. The Multiverse isn't breaking apart. Peter is actually living a good life with MJ and Ned.

Unlike Wanda, she doesn't have any mind controlling powers. And even if she knew a spell for Peter and her friends to remember her, she's scared.

Scared that she might mess the spell up again and all hell break loose. She doesn't want everyone to suffer just because of her selfishness to make the people she loves remember her.

Little does she know, her paper accidentally fell the moment she removed her hands from her jacket pocket. Peter noticed this.

"The customer left something behind. I'll be right back." Peter informed Ned and MJ and went to pick up the paper on the floor.

He's tempted to open it and snoop a bit but he doesn't want to disrespect the privacy of the paper contents. However, he was able to take a small peak of what's inside. He saw his name.

He shrugged it off. Must be a coincidence. There's a lot of Peter in the entire world. Or Universes.

He ran after the random lady customer and shouted, "Excuse me, miss. You accidentally left something."

[Y/N] has never turned around so fast. She knows that voice and it's definitely Peter Parkers'. She almost dropped her cappuccino but Peter managed to catch it.

"Nice reflexes." [Y/N] tried to compliment even though she knows about this already. "Where'd you learn that skill?"

"Thanks, uhhh... I guess puberty?" Peter's cheeks flustered, not knowing what to reply since he can't just go around telling people he got bit by a spider causing him to have fast and great reflexes.

Meanwhile, [Y/N] missed this. She knows how to make him fluster due to years of knowing him. “Puberty? How so?” She said, messing with him. 

She laughed the moment Peter started to ramble. "I mean, that's not what I—it's just that—you know growing up is just—"

"I’m just messing with you. It's okay, you don't have to explain." Peter let out a content sigh. Then, there was silence. They stared at each other silently until Peter speaks up again.

"So, uhhh... you left this one." Peter reached out the folded paper at her. [Y/N]'s eyes widened and immediately snatched the paper just for it to be crumpled in her fist.

"Oh! Thanks, I guess," [Y/N] replied. "You didn't take a look or read it, did you?" Please say no, please say no.

"Don't worry, I didn't. But I saw a name named Peter? Who's that?"

Fuck. What am I supposed to answer. [Y/N] tried to quickly think of a lie on spot. "It's my breakup speech for my future ex."

"A breakup speech? Now that's something I haven't seen before. Why would you need a breakup speech anyways?" Peter asked innocently, not knowing that the paper is supposed to be for him and Ned and MJ.

"I'm afraid I might forget what I'm going to say to him because he already forgot about me." A tear suddenly slipped from her eyes and was immediately wiped off. "Sorry, I'm a little emotional especially in the winter season."

"Well, you sound like my friend who is also a little emotional during the winter."

[Y/N] was confused. "Who?" Did he remember?

"I have no idea. It's like they're at the back of my head. Can't remember the name or what they look like. I just know we were friends once."

Oh. He still doesn't remember.

Silence once again.

"So, you and your friends back there going to MIT?" [Y/N] asked, trying to make the conversation longer. She doesn't want this to end. “Sorry for eavesdropping, can’t control it.”

"No, no, it's okay," Peter reassured. "Yeah, we got into MIT. It's our dream school, I'm so glad we all got in. What about you? Are going to college?"

"I was planning to. But, there was some... personal problems and let's say I wasn't able to apply."

"Man, that sucks."

"I know."

Silence again.

Peter noticed there was sadness in this person, and immediately thought it's because of the college problem, "You know I can get a good word for you to the Head of MIT. I think they still accept late applicants."

"Really? You'd do that for me?" [Y/N] asked. She knows that Peter always helps random strangers, one of the reasons why she fell in love with him. He has a kind, selfless and caring heart. "I'm [Y/N] by the way."

[Y/N] almost forgot she had to re-introduce herself again to everyone.

"Nice to meet you, [Y/N]. I'm Parker Peter. I mean—Peter Parker." Peter mentally palmed. Why he keep messing his words. "I didn't catch your last name.

[Y/N] pretended to smile. "It's [Y/N] [L/N]."

Peter nodded. Another silence once again. [Y/N] then pretended to look at her watch and have to go somewhere. "I actually have to go now. Thanks a lot, Peter."

"Anytime. I hope to see you in MIT soon." Peter beamed, having no idea why his heart flutters. He has never felt this feeling before with MJ. Why now with this stranger?

Peter waved goodbye as [Y/N] turned her heels around to leave. Peter continued to stare at [Y/N] for a short while. His spider senses are telling him something but can't figure out what it is. Once he was broken out of his trance, he went back inside the store.

"I love you, Peter." [Y/N] muttered to herself as a tear run down her left eye. She leaves the street and walked back to her apartment. The apartment where it makes her feel alone and lonely. 

It hurts to see someone you love, love someone that isn't you. [Y/N] thinks a breakup is better than forgetting who you are and dates another person. If only Mysterio didn't ruin Peter's life then none of this would've happened.

Peter has already gone through so much, and everyone forgetting him will make it worse. He deserves the world and to have Ned and MJ beside him. 

Letting go is the hardest choice that she has to make. All those memories made with Peter, Ned and MJ are all gone. Those late nights at Peter's room studying, gone. Days of assembling the LEGO Death-star with Ned is gone as well. Times with MJ discussing their favorite books or shit-talking about some of their classmates. She misses those. But those times won’t happen ever again because they’re now out of her reach. 

No matter what happens, [Y/N] is glad that her friends are safe and happier without her. Maybe they’ll meet again soon and start over. But for now, it’s better if they don’t cross paths again. As sad and bitter as it sounds, it is the best she can do for now.  

Sometimes, you have to let go of the ones you love the most for them to be happy. It may hurt but that's what love is for. [Y/N] is ready to sacrifice everything for Peter.

—

peter parker taglist:

@butifnotwhen